Podcrushed - Valentine's Day Special (100th Episode)
Episode Date: February 12, 2025It's our 100th episode! To celebrate the milestone -- and it's fortuitous occurrence in Valentine's week -- we've put together a compilation of our favorite crush and heartbreak stories, featurin...g guests like Ayo Edebiri, Matthew McConaughey, Jenna Ortega, Amy Schumer, and so many more. Enjoy! Follow Podcrushed on socials: Instagram TikTok XSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Lemonada.
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.
Happy V-Day, right?
Should I be saying the full word?
Valentine's Day?
Today we have a compilation, a lovi-dovey compilation, a crushy, wushy,
I don't even, I'm upset and bored with myself at the same time.
But this is a special episode where we have some of our favorite first
crush and first heartbreak stories from guests over the years and there it has been years can you
believe it so when we get back from the break that that ad break that you love i'm going to pass the
mic because it is heavier than the crown to sophy and she is going to take you through all of
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Okay, folks, crush stories, heartbreak stories, peeing on doorsteps to break up with someone's stories.
Let's get into it.
Kicking things off, we have none other than the Emmy Award winning actor, comedian, and friend of mine from our days at NYU, the hilarious I.O. Debrie.
My first big crush was my friend, and literally I say his full name, his name was Bill.
And it started in fifth grade at the end of school, at the end of the school year.
Me, yeah, he origamied me a heart out of a dollar and I saved it until I would, I was like in high school, I think.
Because I was like, he loves me.
He origamied me a dollar, a heart out of a dollar bill.
This is literally my husband.
And I was like, I'm going to be, I'm going to be Mrs. Bill.
I was like, this is it, we're locking it down.
And then my friend Michelle was like, he's learning how to origami.
Like, girl, get it together.
He's just making shapes.
Like, it's really not that serious.
But he was like my first big crush and I was like, I'm going to be Vietnamese now.
Like, this is like my, this is like my husband.
This is my life.
Like, I need to prep hair.
And obviously, nothing happened.
But it was, like, my first big crush.
I just thought he was the best.
And then...
I mean, how well did you know him, though?
I'm curious.
Because often, you know, crushes are like, you don't really know.
Yeah, yeah.
Your voice went up.
I mean, it was like, wait.
Are you telling the truth?
Are you going to tell the truth?
No, you didn't hand it to me.
I'm still in love.
with Bill.
I catch the first flight to Boston.
Humiliating.
And honestly, knowing my friend,
somebody will listen to this
and somebody will tell Bill.
Hi, Bill.
We talked a few months ago.
My voice is getting so hot.
My bitch is so hot.
Sweating.
Honestly, okay.
We knew each other probably since
third or fourth grade.
Io, can I interrupt to just ask,
what were you like once you realized
you had those feelings?
How did you act around those boys?
In my head, I feel like I was very like,
whatever, I'm cool.
I don't have crushes at all.
Whatever.
We're all friends.
But then my first boyfriend was a guy that I went to church with.
Oh, any, oh my gosh.
You know, what happened is his brother asked me.
Oh, yeah, that's classic.
Yes, classic.
His brother asked me, and I was like, tell him, I say yes.
And then we're running the night's church and we're like,
okay, we're boyfriend and girlfriend now.
Bye!
And I was like so religious and like so chase and I was like I love our little courtship.
Now we are 12 and 13 and we will be dating and then we will get married and that is when we will kiss.
And then like three months later he was like, yeah.
So this other girl said she's going to give me a kiss.
And it was like a girl that I kind of knew and I was like, oh yeah, like it's fine, whatever.
Like I'm just one of the guys like no big deal.
Um, and then, and then they dated.
And then everybody's like, yeah, they're like making out.
And I was like, oh, cool.
That is.
I mean, we're laughing.
I mean, you're laughing.
I'm laughing.
But at that age, at that age, I feel like that's the level of, like, infidelity betrayal.
It's like, oh, 100%.
I was like, I have been cheated on.
I have been wrong.
Um, and then I was like, whatever, I'm going to listen to, like, muse.
I'm going to listen to secular music.
I'm so heartbroken.
Oh, God.
She is so funny.
You know who else is so funny?
Maybe too funny?
Conan O'Brien.
Well, there was this girl in fifth grade that I had a huge crush on.
And her first name was Laura.
And I just was, I remember her last name, but I feel like if I out her, you know, she might say you creep and accuse me of stalking her.
you know, 50 years later.
But her name was Laura,
but I remembered my skin temperature would change
when she was around.
You know what I mean?
You feel like you're running a little bit of a fever.
And I don't think she ever really noticed me.
And then I remembered she got a little got a little gothy later on,
which I thought was even cooler.
But years later, I think when I was in college,
she did not go to the same college,
but I saw her once, like, in an outdoor cafe,
and she said, oh, hey, Conan.
And I was like, oh, I'm really like my voice brat.
She's like, oh, Conan, your voice hasn't changed,
but you're 40.
What's going on?
But I remembered very much being,
and not knowing what to do,
and I was a late bloomer, so not having,
I mean, I, you know,
didn't start dating until later and you know i was not there were kids i remember there were
there were kids when i was 12 when i was 12 i looked 8 when these other kids were 12 they had to
shave like twice a day and they were just confident in how they walked and with their bodies and
they had girlfriends and um he were like what how is that how am i even the same species is that yeah
He's my, check, you're my, how old are you again?
I'm 12.
Why?
Yeah, I'm 12 too.
What do you share?
I just saved 10 minutes ago.
But you got a full beard.
I know.
Yeah, that's so true, actually.
Drive a truck now. Drive a truck. You're 12.
If you haven't heard that whole episode, you need to listen to it.
But in the meantime, here's a clip from another episode.
This is Jenna Ortega.
I had my first crush, or I believed I had my first crush when I was maybe five.
But I wasn't, I've never been, again, I can be so awkward.
It makes me so hard for me to make new friends or reach out to people that even if I did have a crush, I would never speak to them.
Matter of fact, I would avoid them because I had a crush on them.
And if I looked at them, then they would immediately know that I was secretly in love with them and wrote about them when I went home in my diary.
Classic.
You know, right ever.
So I didn't really, when I was in middle school, I didn't date anyone or I didn't do anything,
but I do remember one time I was speaking with a boy that I knew he liked me.
He kind of liked everyone.
He was one of those guys.
I know those guys.
I can totally picture that guy.
Looking back, I want to shake my head.
But I was in seventh grade.
I was sitting across from this guy and we were just making jokes.
And I started feeling really sick.
So I put my head down kind of as I was reading.
So I was reading kind of sideways.
and he was asking me, man, how are you reading like that?
There's no way that you're actually picking up the words on the page.
And I said, no, I'm a huge reader.
I do this all the time.
He kept asking me questions, but I was getting more and more nauseous.
I felt like I needed to close my life.
He said something that kind of made me laugh.
And I put my head up, and as soon as I came up, I felt my mouth start to water.
Oh, no.
And he asked me a question like, I put my finger up and my mouth started to fill with a certain kind of thick fluid.
And I told him, I gave him the hand to the trash can and I projectile vomited the banana that I had for breakfast this morning and more.
So wait, is this all because of who you were talking to?
Can we just get a confirmation there?
I would like to make that connection.
It was so bad.
It was that thing where everyone in the class goes, ooh.
Oh, I feel that. It's visceral for me now, Jenna.
Yeah, my teacher had me walk all the way to the principal's office where the nurse's office was holding that trash can in my hand.
Had a friend walking and I told her, I'm fine. I don't need to go home.
And my mom was always kind of one of those parents who, if I got sick, it was still not a reason to miss school.
I was like, okay, we'll just get it out in the morning, throw up in the morning and then, oh, okay, you're good to go.
So I was so embarrassed not only to one have to confront my mom when she picked me up
and she was thinking, oh man, why are you missing school?
Or also to that boy that I was talking to followed me to the trash can and watched me from behind
and like put a hand on my back and was super attentive during this gross time.
That's very, that's very mature for like a 12-year-old boy.
Well, what did he want?
Yeah, he just wanted to be close to a girl.
Oh my god
He helped my hair back
I must be in love with him
I feel like Nava can relate to this
Navajo don't you have like a nausea thing
like a or you had
Or is it have?
Is it you didn't and now?
What I can most relate to is avoiding someone
that I like and like often
I mean I've improved a little bit
but I think what Penn is talking about
is like one time I had rehearsed
with like a friend written down
like there was like a speech that I was going to give this guy
and then like set up the whole thing, went to dinner.
And then every time I would try to like open my mouth, I felt like I was going to throw up.
And I just like ended up not ever doing it.
And then leaving him like a voice memo, which was much, much worse, much more embarrassing.
But I couldn't do it in person.
I would get so nauseous.
That was when I was 30.
Like not a child.
Just so we're clear.
Yeah.
If you've been listening to this show for a while, you'll know that
I was boy crazy when I was a middle schooler so much so that my MSN messenger password was
boy crazy 94.
But as you'll see from our episode with Amy Schumer, I clearly wasn't the only one.
I was boy crazy like since I was three.
Like I was so chasing the boys around like just wanting to hold hands.
Like I was just and that really never let up.
But I think what's so what's so funny at that age is, you know, all your eggs could be in one
basket. Like, I just feel like, like, there was this one point when I was 13 where the guy I liked,
the guy I was crazy about, liked me back and was my boyfriend. And the ecstasy of that and, like,
him making me mix tapes. And, like, it was just like, oh, my God. Like, I just couldn't believe it. And then
he, um, like, I don't know what, but he, he, he, he.
He was over it and didn't want to be together anymore.
And I mean, this probably was over the course of three weeks, you know.
And rather than, like, say, hey, I feel like we've grown apart.
He pissed on my doorstep.
What?
We had an enclosed.
Like an animal.
We had an enclosed porch.
And he peed.
So the porch, so the pee was all over the porch.
And, like, he was there with his friends.
They were on their bikes.
And he did it.
How old were you?
I was 13.
I was 13.
Oh, my crap.
And so it was like whatever lessons that taught me, like whatever that turned into my, it was just like, oh, okay.
Trying to figure that out.
And then, but then they'd be like somebody else, like this guy, like, Jack, whatever likes you.
And it'd be like, oh, okay, cool.
Like, I just feel like when I was talking to the girl, her name's Violet Young, she's amazing, who plays Young, she was like, we're talking.
just talking about the role, you know, and she's like, so, I can't tell if, like, she has really
low self-esteem or really high self-esteem. And I was like, well, that's the thing.
Like, it's still to this day, I vacillate between extremely low self-esteem and just delusions
of absolute grandeur. It's like, that is still to this day. And how it was then, where I'd be, like,
crushed and just feeling so unappealing. And then a second later, be like, well, I'm
make it back to him, but I don't really know, you know? Yeah. The elasticity of that time.
Oh my God. Yeah. And now, Chris, like, my experience with finding, like, the person I wanted to, you know, have paperwork on, it was like, it made every other relationship seem so ridiculous, like, that, you know, that I had considered that a relationship.
There was no trying to get someone mentally to another place.
Like there was no like, oh, I think in a couple weeks his mom's coming to town.
I'm going to see if he introduces me.
Like there was none of that.
It was like, we were also older.
I was 30, we were 37.
And it was just like, we like the same stuff.
We enjoy each other.
We have our own lives as well.
And it was, and so now love is like, I really, it's like such a support system.
And, yeah, like, it's just so, it's so different.
But it did.
It just made me laugh at all the relationships I thought I had been in.
That really resonates with me.
Yeah, me too.
The part about the pee, too.
Insane.
Okay, moving on.
Up next is a story from the truly iconic actress, Julia Louis Dreyfus,
about the first time she touched a boy's shoulder.
When I was really little,
Like when I was in fifth grade, we took, I took a dance class, like a cotillion type of class, you know.
And I remember the first time, and, you know, we were so young, fifth grade.
I mean, like they would have a break in the middle of this dance class where you learn the fox trot or the, you know, the box, I don't know, whatever.
And the boys, they would give us cookies and juice.
And the boys would like spit ice at the girls.
That was the way they flirt.
if you can call it that. But I do remember the first time I'm in the class I sort of touched a boy and
I put my hand on his shoulder and my other hand in his hand. And I remember thinking, oh, wow,
his shoulder feels like a regular shoulder. Oh my gosh. That's really cute. Yeah. Like he is a human
being. He's another person, just like me. Yeah, exactly. And I remember, I think it was at that same
dance class that I was
dancing with the boy once
and we were sort of spinning
around doing some sort of whatever
the move was around and around
and all of a sudden he leans
in and he just kisses me really
quick and then he
sort of pulled back and he goes
who did that
was that genuine
that was not
I think it just came out of his mouth
I don't know and I didn't even respond
Funny. Yeah, who did that?
I absolutely loved this sweet story from Rain Wilson.
Check it out.
I had a lot of crushes on cute girls through like, you know, sixth and seventh and eighth grade.
But I didn't, you know, again, I didn't really think anyone would want to have me as a boyfriend.
I wasn't boyfriend material.
I was busy on the weekends.
as we've gone into, you know.
Exactly.
You're a working man.
Yeah.
So, but then I had a few little dates here and there with some hand holdings.
And then when I was 16, I had a girlfriend in Seattle.
And she was the smartest girl in the school named Jill.
And, but she was pretty.
And we had a really nice time together, very innocent relationship.
And then when I went to Chicago,
then I started to have more relationships, and that's when I got my heartbroken.
And one was this girl, Tria, and she was like the first person I met at the high school,
and I was just totally smitten with her.
And then she was actually interested in me, and we went out for a while, and I was just, I was hooked.
I mean, she was amazed.
She was funny, and she played me Joni Mitchell records, and she played the piano,
and she danced, and I was just like, oh, my God.
Joni Mitchell, that's, yeah, that's formative right there.
Right?
And then she dumped me for John Sherman.
Oh, God.
Sherman.
We were doing this play called Time Out for Ginger.
So many kids tried out for it.
They did two casts.
We had rotating casts.
So one night it was cast one and then it was cast two.
And the dad on cast one was me.
And the dad in cast two was John Sherman.
So she left.
And she was assistant.
director and she left me for John Sherman yeah but here's what's funny Tria and I are now
like best friends wow did you reconnect or did you like stay we've always we've always been in touch
that's great and um that's cool and we're really close and we talk all the time and I'm close with
her husband and she's close with my wife and and I just like we just know each other really
really deeply was there a period of like intense rejection
you felt after that you had to recover from?
Here's how intense it was.
I had never been dumped before
and oh my God, that is just the worst feeling
in the world.
I don't know why I did this
but I always used to throw my dirty clothes
on the floor of this closet
and it was kind of those closet that had
like accordion doors so you can
open the doors and
I would sleep in my dirty clothes on the floor of the closet.
Oh, Ray.
During this period of rejection.
You were like literally like
stewing in it.
Yeah, and it was, I would do that for, for days at a time.
I would just, I would close the closet and I'd just be in there.
It must have been a big closet.
I mean, you said you were tall, right?
It was six feet long, yeah.
Or you were really scrunched up.
I'm just thinking about the dimension.
There's some nice closet.
You want me to draw you a sketch.
Yeah, which way the door is open.
And we'll be right back.
All right, so, um, let's just, let's just, let's just,
real talk as they say for a second that's a little bit of an aged thing to say now that that dates me
doesn't it um but no real talk uh how important is your health to you you know on like a one to 10
and i don't mean the in the sense of vanity i mean in the sense of like you want your day to go well right
you want to be less stressed you don't want it as sick when you have responsibilities um i know
myself i'm a householder i have uh i have two children and two more on the way um a spouse a pet
you know, a job that sometimes has its demands. So I really want to feel like when I'm not getting
the sleep and I'm not getting nutrition, when my eating's down, I want to know that I'm,
that I'm being held down some other way physically, you know? My family holds me down emotionally,
spiritually, but I need something to hold me down physically, right? And so honestly, I turned to
symbiotica, these these vitamins and these beautiful little packets that they taste delicious.
And I'm telling you, even before I started doing ads for these guys, it was a product that I,
I really, really liked and enjoyed and could see the differences with.
The three that I use, I use the, what is it called?
Liposomal vitamin C, and it tastes delicious, like really, really good.
Comes out in the packet, you put it right in your mouth.
Some people don't do that.
I do it.
I think it tastes great.
I use the liposomal glutathione as well in the morning, really good for gut health.
And although I don't need it, you know, anti-aging.
and then I also use the magnesium L3 and 8,
which is really good for, I think, mood and stress.
I sometimes use it in the morning, sometimes use it at night.
All three of these things taste incredible, honestly.
You don't even need to mix it with water.
And yeah, I just couldn't recommend them highly enough.
Do you want to try them out?
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Up next is Eliza Schlesinger's hysterical story
about silently dedicating songs
to the Jenko-clad boy she had a crush on.
There was a boy.
I'm going to say his name now
because he probably is dead.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
If he is?
No, there was a boy named Jake.
And he was just, whatever attracts you to a child in the seventh grade.
And he wore like chinkos and he was like a skater.
And I just, for some reason, like my heart throbbed for this kid whom I had no classes with.
And we, it's a big middle school.
So you know, like there were like skaters and preps.
And then there was me and like a Farsight T-shirt.
And I just loved him so much.
And we never got to talk.
And he was on my bus.
And I asked him one day.
I was like, do you want to go rollerblaining?
Wow.
And he said yes.
That's amazing.
And then he didn't show up.
And I never had the guts to be like, oh, is there?
Where were you?
And I just, there is something about, it's obviously hormonal, but like, I remember listening to, I want to say it's, is it Envogue or SWV has that song like, baby, that's just why I love you so much.
I don't know, but keep to sing me.
Please, I know it.
Yeah, how am I not?
I mean, I'm shocked that I don't.
I hated that.
Maybe that was just not recognizable.
I always say to my husband, I were like,
I feel like I'm secretly a good singer.
My husband's like, the secret dies with you.
I honestly thought you were going to like chime in like on a higher octave.
I don't know that.
I would have.
It's about loving someone so much.
And when I hear it's a very 90s R&B song.
And like I was like, Jake, like this goes out to you.
Unrequited.
I know.
Remembering all this.
Yeah, when you could call into radio station to be like,
this song goes out.
to Eliza.
Yeah.
No one ever did that for me.
Yeah.
Middle school was a lot of just pining for boys, not in like a super sloppy way, but just
also sort of knowing like, yeah, that's probably never going to happen because especially
growing up in Texas in the 90s, like anything that derived from like Gentile, stick
straight again with the hair, like super cute, like ordained by other boys, therefore girls want
to be, anything that derived, that deviated from that rather.
You weren't dating anyone.
You were just, like, going over to, like,
your friend Courtney's house on a Friday night.
Everybody had that friend...
Named Courtney.
Her name is Courtney.
It still is.
She's alive.
She came to a show recently.
Everybody had that friend
whose parents would let them have boys over.
Whose parents, like, kind of were very casual
about sexual things.
And looking back, you're like,
oh, you would let the kids have the upstairs
because you guys were definitely swinging downstairs.
Like, 100...
Like, so many guys named Dawn
in, like, Tommy Bahamas.
shirts wine charms like why couldn't we open the other door like what's going on and boys would come
over and like you would just hope that like any of these kids that you had like biology with would talk
to you and they never did they only wanted to talk to like the two other girls who probably grew up
to not be hot but at the time we're very hot yeah so it was just like eating a lot of gushers and
capri sons because those parents bought those kind of junk food yes and watching tgif the whole point
of middle school is to like get to a place where you can
kiss a boy and not have someone break
it up, whether it's in a closet
or you go to camp
and you get those, I don't know if you're going to sleepaway
camp, no one here is Jewish. Oh, there's right,
you are Jewish secretly.
It's having, like,
sleepaway camp was the best because you get, like,
that 10 minutes of unencumbered
free time, like, before lights out,
where you can, like, go make out
on the lawn and, like, maybe someone will
like graze your nipple. Like, you're just
looking for, like, anyone.
Like, maybe not the person.
Anyone.
Like, I'm not having sex with you in a canoe.
Anything.
But just, like, that freedom to, like, explore that.
And then you come back and you're like, I've been to summer camp.
Like, I'm different.
I've been to summer camp.
I'm different.
So good.
Our next crush story comes from Zway.
Roll tape.
Okay.
My first crush was probably this kid in my freshman, like, first grade, name Patrick, who was
blonde.
And I didn't even think I liked him.
I think it was just that he was blonde.
and everyone else liked him.
So I was like, oh, yeah, I like Patrick.
And then I remember I told Patrick, like, I want to kiss you.
And then he told his mom.
And then my mom had to talk with me about, like, consent and not telling people you want to kiss them.
So that was the end of my crush was me getting a lesson on boundaries.
Was it really, I mean, it wasn't framed in that language then, was it?
Consent and boundaries?
It was just like, don't say that to people.
It's like, don't do that.
why don't that's really that's how we learned things back then um we also would get like if we got a
um we got a cut where they just like push us down the stairs and be like walk it off um but my first
heartbreak was in high school and it was this guy who ended up going on to be like a Harvard
libertarian so really that was god blocking saving me but it was it was just like an on again
off again thing where it was abundantly clear he had no interest for
in me. I remember him specifically telling
me, pitting me against
one of my friends and being like, she is much prettier
than you. Oh, no. Pretty prettier than you.
And me being like, she is?
brushing my hair, like, trying to
dress like her, like super, super sad.
But that was probably my first
heartbreak. And that taught
me the lessons
of men
being sometimes deeply,
deeply annoying.
Yeah. And just like, oh God.
Like, I poured so much
into this crush that had no interest for me.
I couldn't have handcuffed him to me
and made him be my boyfriend if I tried with like at gunpoint.
But you want to be loved so badly.
You're like, please, please, how can I change myself?
And it's like, okay, the answer is right in front of you.
Like, please just take it in sometimes.
Like, that is much healthier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like that.
Spilling tea.
Wow.
Spilling tea is one thing,
but you know who I'd love to enjoy a cup of tea with?
maybe some chamomile or even a high tea on a Kensington afternoon, Matthew McConaughey.
So idea of love, that's a big word in my family.
You didn't throw that word around.
To feel it and say it was a very, very big deal to me.
And I did.
I had a girlfriend.
And this, I'm going to tell you the story of the first love and the heartbreak.
And they're going to have a common denominator of the breakup.
and they broke up with me.
I went away on a, like a field trip with a class to Madrid.
And while, you know, you have an allowance, right?
And what do you do with that allowance?
You spend it all on something for your girlfriend that you love, right?
You don't forget everything else.
They forget all the other people.
They don't need a gift when I get back.
But I got her this necklace.
And then I got her this like crystal trinket.
And then I got like something else.
And I came back and I unloaded these gifts on her.
It was too much.
It scared.
And she broke up with me right after I had given all these gifts.
And but you know what it is?
We've all felt it on the giving and on the receiving side.
It's like for whatever reason it was, it was too much.
The gifts, it was too many gifts.
And she broke up.
And I remember we crying and.
and having sleepless nights and really having trouble getting out of bed in the morning.
And I remember my mom coming back to my bed and tell me, look, I feel for you as positive as my mom always was.
She could always tell with those kids when we were really hurting and come back and sit with us and go,
let's sit here in the pain for me.
I know this sucks.
I know this hurts.
And to hear that and then eventually get to, now remember, you're a catch.
She's going to notice what she lost and then start building the confidence.
Mom was always good about sitting.
Let's sit in the pain right now, your first heartbreak.
That was the first one.
The second one was later in middle school in the eighth grade.
I met someone, and it was going.
It was going.
And she said to me, wrote me a note, and it said, I love it.
And I was just, whoa, the feelings all the way to my fingertips out of my heart.
I was, oh, my gosh.
And two weeks later, I said it to her.
And the next day, she broke up.
Do you think it had to do with you sharing your feelings or coming on maybe what was too strong for her?
What was it?
Well, it was that.
But, you know, I mean, again, we're going to try and break down the science and math of love,
which we know is a foolish idea thing to do anyway.
Because if anything, love's not really dignified.
I mean, it doesn't mean, it's not fair.
But the too many gifts were, I guess it was, it intimidated her.
Or maybe there's that thing that we do young word, oh, now I know I got you.
Bye, bye.
You know, I felt that before on my side where I felt so many give it.
I was like, oh, well, now you just fully committed to me.
Okay.
I felt that.
But you probably felt that after these incidents, right?
Yes.
These two and the I love you.
Even though she said it first,
soon as I said it two weeks later, she broke up.
And I remember that being a major heartbreak and made me very confused about,
well, what's the love thing?
What's the I love you mean?
Yeah.
You know, because she opened up to me and said it first.
And now I came back, reciprocated,
and we were supposed to meet in the middle and go higher and become more full.
And now she went up.
And so for her, you know, now I'm older.
I look back and I go, that's probably how she was feeling.
She was beautiful and pretty and a fluid.
And I was the only guy in town, you know, that she could date.
And I think getting that, I don't know.
I didn't study her history.
Did she have a track record of getting guys in as soon as you got him to say that word?
But that was what it felt like, that that was the hinge that was like, okay, check.
I felt like it was a check for her.
Got him to say, I love you.
Okay.
Later.
Move on.
Here's a two-for-for-for-you.
Seth Myers and his brother Josh Myers had such different stories to tell.
Let's start with Seth Myers.
Like, I had girlfriends, but I never had a girlfriend that I was capable of being heartbroken about.
I don't.
I didn't.
It took me a lot.
I don't know if I ever did.
I'm kind of alone.
I was always like, yeah, or just go home alone.
Or I'll go flip through my baseball cards
And read my comics
Baseball cards, comic books
They're not going to read themselves
You feel like getting into those relationships
Was more just like
Oh, this is the thing to do
Because it sounds like you're super interested in them
It wasn't that I didn't
They were always girls that I liked
And girls that I was friends with
It was just that
I remember
A girl I was dating
Like back when you were dating
Where it barely meant anything
Like there was barely a physical element
Rather than maybe
It was like you
could date someone and maybe not kiss
them. Like that was what you were
saying. That's my first two girlfriends.
Yeah. And she gave me a cassette
single.
A cassingle.
A cassingle.
That's for the children listening.
That is a cassette tape with only one song on each side.
And it was the
in excess song, never tear us
apart. And she gave
it to me. And I just remember thinking,
oh, I feel like we're in different
places.
What we think about this relationship.
And then there's Josh Myers.
I remember being on a ski lift with a girl and was like working up the nerve to ask her to go out with me.
And right before we got off, like, you know, put your tips up, you're getting to the top of this thing.
And I said, will you go out with me?
And she said, yes.
And then I skied away from her.
and, like, didn't talk to her, I want to say, for two weeks.
And then she was like, hey, we need to break up.
And I was like, oh, I was crushed.
But you're like, is there something I did?
And that would happen again.
I had a good, you know, girlfriend in high school that I don't remember the breakup so much.
But the first girl I dated in college was a very short relationship.
and I think this is the one Seth's talking about.
But we, you know, I was still a virgin.
I had just gotten to college.
I met this girl was completely smitten.
And there were things at our school called,
I don't know if it was a mixer or a date party,
but like where a big group of two fraternities
and two sororities would go to a bar in Chicago
or something like that.
And I heard that the girl that I was dating
had made out with this guy.
And I got this piece of gossip
and I stomped over to the guy
who I really liked and still like,
but I walked over to his dorm room.
And I was like, hey, did this happen?
Did you make out with her?
And he's like, yeah, why?
And I was like, because she's my girlfriend.
He's like, oh, sorry, I didn't know.
And it was, you know, after a night when people had been out in Chicago, so it was late.
And Seth and I shared a car in college.
We had a VW golf, and he lived off campus.
And I went and I got the car, and I drove to the last place I could remember being happy,
which was Okamus, Michigan, which is where we left when I was five years old before we moved to New Hampshire.
So I drove through a snowstorm
I don't know how far
from Evanston to East Lansing it is
but like three to four hours
I want to say
I would have thought even maybe longer
It was a longer
And I was just like
Just to clarify a girl he'd barely dated
broke up with him
And it made him forget
The past 13 years
That was hitting me
The happiest guy
He loves his parents
Loved high school
Loved his brother
Yeah
He's like you know what
She literally said him back 13 years.
Wow.
And I drove and I went and I saw our old house.
I saw our old elementary school.
And there's a bagel place in East Lansing right near Michigan State called Bagel-Fragel.
And I went to Bagel-Fragel because we used to go there.
Our mom got her master's at Michigan State.
And I went to Bagel-Fragel, and there was a pay phone.
There were no cell phones.
And there was a pay phone between when you, the first double doors,
first set of double doors, second set of double doors.
And I called Mom and Dad, and I was beside, I was like,
she, you know, it's over, it's not going to work out.
And the meantime, Seth has woken up in Evanston, Illinois,
because we're both at Northwestern,
and seized just an empty space where the car had been
and called the police because he thought the car had been stolen.
Well, first I called home
And told my dad
The car is gone
And this is
Harkens back to why I woke up the morning
And went downstairs when Josh got in trouble
Because everybody always assumes
I'm the one who fucked up
And so my dad was like
Did you leave it on lock?
Did you leave the keys in it?
And it should be noted
The reason everybody thinks
I'm the one who fucked up
Is I do shit like that all the time
So I was like, probably
I probably did those things
He's like well that's why I got stolen
So now you have to call the police
So I called the police
And
And then Josh
I guess because you called home
Yeah a blubbering phone call
From a pay phone to mom and dad
Who then called you
Yes
And they were like
Josh is in
Okamance Michigan
He's a fraggle bagel
He's in Fraggle bagel
I will say being very depressed
And going to a place called
Bagel Fraigle is really funny
And then
I was so mad because I didn't feel like
enough attention was being paid
to how I had been blamed
because my dad was like so the car
wasn't stolen and I said
you know actually it was stolen
Josh stolen
because otherwise he would have said
I'm taking the car so it was
stolen actually
don't go anywhere
we'll be right back
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And for the grand finale, we are going all the way back to the very first episode we ever taped.
The first one, it's with Evan Rachel Wood and her crush was on.
Well, I'll let her say it.
I told you guys that I brought this diary of mine
and I was just horrified reading it
how, like, insane we all were.
I had a crush on Penn at this time
because it says, well, we had another party at Penn's house.
It was really fun.
We really only danced.
Because I'm disappointed that nothing else happened.
But I realized how hot Penn was.
Whoa.
He plays guitar, exclamation point, exclamation point.
He played guitar and sang really well.
It was so cool.
Why is that so embarrassing, though?
That's like so embarrassing for me.
And he's like gripping the mic stand.
I'm like, I don't know.
Look at the sweat that's on the table from me just listening to this.
I'm like, I still remember one of your songs.
Oh, God.
Please sing it
I remember the first time
I ever recorded a song
And I brought it over
It was at Robert's place, I think
I remember playing it for a number of our friends
And can we get a little rea
I still got it
I mean I can still hear it in my head
It's such an embarrassing trope
We can edit it out
We can edit it out
It was really cute
It's such a
Stay with me tonight
Yeah
Yeah
Go I walk in
Go on talking
Oh
That's so too bad
No
But it was really good
Because there were like harmonies.
And I remember...
Harmonies have always been my strong suits.
Yeah.
That's it.
Happy Valentine's Day crushies.
We'll see you next week.
Podcrushed is hosted by Penn Badgley, Navacavalin, and Sophie Ansari.
Our senior producer is David Ansari, and our editing is done by Clips Agency.
Special thanks to the folks at Lemonada.
And as always, you can listen to Pod Crush ad-free on Amazon music with your
membership. Okay, that's all. Bye.
