Podiots - Podiots: Episode 10 - BOPIS (Feat. Cultaholic)

Episode Date: July 10, 2018

We've been to Newcastle! And that means we got to meet up with former colleagues and handsome wrestle boys, Cultaholic! This episode's chat is with Ross and Sam, with our Jack/Pacitti conversation coming next time. We then take some questions from the listeners and recount our northern adventure. Just one more week to get the 'VS1' shirt! We're proudly sponsored by Turtle Beach! Get the Turtle Beach Headsets we wear: http://bit.ly/vidiotsbeach Buy yourself some Vidiots merch: https://yogsca.st/VidiotsMerch YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vidiotsofficial Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax Sick, we're rolling. That's what I call audio, 2018. Now, audio, 2018. Could we release that? Could we release Now, that's what I call podcast? It's just one podcast on a CD.

It's just split into several tracks. No, it's like the 22 best podcast from the last sort of month or so. I don't even know. The 22 disc collection. What was the exact? act kind of, did they just bring one out at random whenever they were enough decent, decent, recent songs?

I don't know, that doesn't make sense. No, now 99. I haven't been doing it. A hundred years. It's a turn in the century. Seasonal, maybe. I guess it must be like spring hits, summer hits, winter hits. My mum had now, like, one on a cassette. Oh my God. Really?

Yeah. I had, like, the earliest now that I had was, I think, now 40 or 42 or something. It's quite good, actually. I think we sadly binned all of our CDs that we used to have, So we've got no memory of what our past was. Sorry, that was a... Oh. I'm unsocking myself.

Michael just took his socks off. Oh, and I'm going to put them back on. Oh, my goodness. It's kind of... It's very sexy. It's a little bit unnerving. ASMR. I don't know what to feel about this.

Guys, we've got a lot to get on with today. Yeah, that's not much about it. People will be tuning in for our chat with our lovely friends from CultaHolic. This time, it's Sam and Ross. And on the next episode, I know it's an agonizing Fortnite away. Oh, shit. But it will be... Jack and Adam Pachiti

So let's start this motherfucker Hello and welcome to Poddiots It's a podcast where we talk about things I'm Ben You motherfucker One of these fucking days We talk about this Peter, I come second Michael

That's a very It's a very, what's the term? It's not the first time I've heard someone say that to very considerate lover. Yeah. We talk about this. Okay. And I'm Peter.

Thank you. I come third. If you're unfamiliar. Well, are you exclusively? You know, I don't care. I don't want to know about. If you're unfamiliar with the podcast, it's pretty much what this is. It's a conversational podcast.

It's the official podcast as opposed to the unofficial podcast of the Vidiates YouTube channel where we play video games, but this isn't really about video games. Normally, each of us brings a thing along to talk about. But this time, it's slightly different. because we've been busy. We've been up in Newcastle, catching up with our old friends, formerly of name redacted now of cultaholic fame. Colthaholic.

Yes. Sorry? Cult-a-holy. So we do have a thing. Yeah. A thing. Cult-a-holic. Good.

Got aholic. So we've got a sort of a 15-minute chat with Sam and Ross from cultaholic coming up very shortly. I do, very boringly, have to get some stuff out of the way first, though, if that's okay. We are now on Spotify. Yay, you can shut up finally. The day we posted. the last podcast and in that podcast

we said we don't know when we're going on Spotify we are now on Spotify maybe is that what happens if you say in a podcast we don't know when X thing is going to happen then it happens

I don't know when I'm going to win the lottery oh shit well did you put a ticket on already no I don't know when when sort of a comedic style 1950s piano

is going to fall on Peter Austin I just don't know when it's going to happen it could happen soon we've been waiting weeks for it could happen any day now When does this go out at 6pm tonight? Yeah. We're recording on the day of. Are you going to retaliate now?

No, no. I mean, we'll see if it happens, won't we, at 6pm? I suppose that's the timer, isn't it? You better stay indoors, but my experience from those oldie movies, it doesn't help. Oldie.

No, no. Oldie movies, yeah. We were on YouTube trending. What? Creators on the rise. We got an email last week saying, hey, you've been selected as a creator on the rise. We're going to put you on the front page of YouTube.

Yes, this is the best thing ever. For an entire day. Oh my God, we were excited, thinking, yeah, this is going to be the bump we need. 200 subscribers, I think we got out of that? Yeah. 200 fucking subscribers. 4,000 people extra watch the fallout character creation. With Mr. Bean's face on it.

And that was it. So, thank you, YouTube. I mean, your back end is fucked up. It's, yeah. Algorithms are fucked up. And even your front page is fucked now. Even their email system is fucked up because you say we got an email. Yeah, no, we didn't actually get the email.

What you mean is we didn't get the email. from YouTube. Someone else in the office who is like must be copied into it said oh hey, did you see this? Yeah, we're sure you saw this. No. Just make sure. No, we didn't. What weird backward-house email did this go to? It was like Vidyat's underscore ID 41936

at gmail.com. Who that was intended for but we didn't actually, it makes us, it did make us wonder about maybe if we've received loads of other emails about how we're going to get Lifetime Achievement Awards and the best YouTubers ever. We've all gone. But we just didn't see that email. We didn't, we didn't, we didn't reply. It's kind of fuck that being on the front page

YouTube for 24 hours. It means nothing. It means nothing. Unless you Jimmy Kimmel or Wolfman. Where exactly, yeah, or some kind of fucking music video. We should make a music video. We should actually reply. That'd be super fun. Yeah. Anyway, next thing. Discord. We have a Discord now. It's kind

of insane. It's fucking mental. But the people in it are really, really lovely and there's lots of people in there. If you don't know what Discord is and some people don't, it's kind of like a live forum in that you have channels that you join and they have sub-channels within it, is that right? Yeah, that's right.

Different specific topics, but you can join the Vidyat's Discord, and there'll be loads of Vidyat's viewers in there. The best thing is the emojis in there. We've got our faces, we've got Billy, we've got Simon Miller. We've got you dabbing. Yeah. It's free. You just go and chat to people. Got Rolls boss. We've got like 450 people in there right now. It's lovely. So join the numbers.

That's pretty good. Yeah. Finally, today, the day of our Lord Tuesday, the 10th of July, we have spoken to the manufacturer, the special manufacturer person or non-person. The one man who, old woman, who makes our special VS1 PlayStation-inspired t-shirts. Now, we've been saying for ages, oh, only two weeks.

We are sort of the epitome of the boy or girl who cried wolf. But this is kind of out of our hands. We don't decide when it finishes. We've spoken to the manufacturer. And now we do know for certain that the 17th of July is the last day. That's one more week from today. Are we going to get done by the advertising standards agency for trying to create? some sort of rush on it

by lying about a limited edition There were no lies that it is a limited edition We just didn't know how limited it was We were lied to really We were the victims We didn't expect it If the advertising standards

Whatever the fuck they're going Yeah if they want to get us They've got to catch us and we're pretty fucking fast Because we're so good at lying Exactly yeah Exactly Oh okay right one final thing Yeah

Turtle Beach Aren't they nice headsets oh boy So comfy, and you can listen to that sound real good. We're wearing them right now on this, the Vidyots podcast. If you want to buy one of those and support us in the process, or more. Oh, yeah, you buy more than one. Bit.ly forward slash Vidyat's Beach.

That's our referral link. If you go through there and buy a lovely headset, not only will you feel like you've supported us, but you'll actually just maybe orgasm a little bit in your trousers. Whoa. No, no, not in your trous. People won't want to do that. No.

They've got a 30-dear orgasm guarantee on the air. headsets before you put on your headset. Right. And then send us an email so Michael could then come second. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Peter will come. Yeah, can you forward it to me, Michael?

Yeah, I'll let you know when like the machines in motion. Yeah. Filth, absolute filth. No, we're on Spotify. Trending page of YouTube. We will talk about our fun adventure up to Newcastle very shortly and we'll get into a load of questions and other things after this chat. But now we're going to pass it over to past our.

which was last week. Last week, right? Yeah. It was last week. Where we went to the cultah, I can't even say it, cultaholic offices. Culta HQ. Yes. And spoke to Sam and Ross from that very prestigious and lovely company. Let's go and talk to them.

Sorry about the audio quality. We were crowded round one microphone, but we think you can understand it. Bye. You guys ready? God. Yeah. Yeah. I suppose so.

Sam, Ross. Ben, Ben, Michael, Peter, Ross, Ross, men, Michael, Ross, all of the men. The boys are back in town. Thank you for having us in your lovely office. Lovely to work. Yeah. It's an office, and it's a room.

You've got a real recording setup. You should see what we're using. You've got that big fancy setup down there. We've seen it. We bought the cheapest stool as possible, and then we bought the ones that cost twice as much. but they're the same stools but they cost twice as much

and they don't squeak it's like an evolution it's incredible the evolution of the stool we feel like idiots on our cheap seats we've asked Twitter for some questions for you

okay danger oh boy have they come through yeah I bet they have just going past all of the completely inappropriate ones the first one is from original Sin 33 who asks

if the lads and lasses from cultaholic teamed up with the vidiots in a street fight against name redacted who would win and why and the French's prison rules we're far too nice to do that to other people but if we weren't so nice

and we had like a bit of a bone to pick and stuff and there was a big fight that had to happen I'd think that we would just absolutely can we swear oh brilliant oh my gosh I haven't sworn since the part of this we would we don't swear no we don't swear though my good Christian Holson boys

is that something we're missing that way we don't have 300,000 know as well for a fact that we have like 8 year old children watch them. Yeah, they like that. They like that. It's all right. I call people sexual wang pheasants and see little videos of children going

Hey, hey. I've learned how to count. Die inside. Dead inside. But no, we would win. Yeah, I think we'd fucking batter them. Miller wouldn't even get involved. Miller would be like, guys, you know what? Miller doesn't, Miller's not a full-time member of staff. You guys just lay into them.

I'm just going to sit here and be the most popular one still. They're all still just going to hide behind me. I think he'd fight with the idiots. I like to think so. I don't think he would want to fight anyway, just protect his wrestling career. No, we would win just because we're proper radjis.

From Newcastle. That's the one, yeah, from Newcastle. From the tune. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Similar vein here, from Shendorius. If everyone had an orgy from cultaholic, vidiot. Who would be orgy the best?

It would come first. Just how much of an impacted leaving, name redundant, have on you guys, and do you feel better overall? Oh, my. I smile sometimes now. Jesus, true. I see it right now. Yeah.

I mean, the start when the thing happened was obviously awful. Are you going to tell the tale, regale the tale? Well, no, we know what the thing was. Yeah. We had a guy, but Blompier, and he went. And the stress, and everything that came with that was really hard. for the first sort of month or so, and the hours in here of just trying to get stuff to make money to get by.

It's sort of smoothing out now, kind of, but we're still all pulling a hell of a shift every day, aren't we? It's just the stress. I thought you were going to tell the holiday story. That's what I was setting you up for, not a holiday story. Yeah. What's that? The paper on the table.

Oh, do you want to tell that? I don't know. I know this story. Well, so I was at my wits end at name redacted. So booked, no, the old rule back there was you had to wait two weeks ahead before you booked a holiday. So sorry, yeah, booked a holiday two weeks ahead before taking it. So I was just like, no, I'm taking this holiday next week. I'm going for two weeks.

And then when I got back from the holiday for two weeks, I was going to quit the day after. Right. But on the first day of that holiday, I was called in for a meeting to discuss something that I was never really asked for my opinion forever. So I was thinking something's wrong here. And I walked in and then that meeting was just me. the bosses and one of the bosses sort of crick

just sat me down was like so how things Ross was like yeah yeah shocked about stuff that was going on and then one of them was like really I was like yeah yeah just don't know what's going on and the other one just like sort of cricket bowl this eight four bit of paper boomf

company's house coldaholic driver for Gigi all of our all of our names I was like oh that was my

reaction was just, oh. Awkward 15 minutes was I'd, walked out, past Jack the job at his desk and said, Jack, they want to see you now. They know, they know. The entire office turned around. And then that was how the cab was up. I was on a train that day, that morning,

and it all kicked off. I had no signal. And I finally get some signal. And it's just like, phone is just going mental. And it's all just like, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know, they know. And I walk in, everybody's already gone home. I get in.

And the first person I see is you, Peter. and you're just nervously laughing at me I remember walking past Jack's desk sitting at mine for a bit and then walking around the corner and you two were playing pool right so I was like filling you in

and then you went we're going as well and I was like oh right this is all happening at once they just don't know yet but we're going we didn't make a company's house listing that was what we didn't

to be fair I think seeing Pachiti pack up his desk putting figures into like a plastic bag it's saddest thing He was grinning from here to ear the whole time. I mean, we all were, to be honest. It's the best fucking day in my life. It's great.

I think in general, though, with the jump, it's just being more positive for us, I guess. Oh, God, yeah. I mean, you summed up best either day on your little channel catch-up video when you said, the management made you miserable. Yeah. Yeah, I think everyone was in the same boat there.

Yeah, definitely. What was the deal, Sam, with what culture pro wrestling, which I will give its full name as a sign of respect to those performers who worked. for it, not for the management in any sense. Because you were sort of running the shows, weren't you? I was live directing. So, yeah, I was

the guy doing all the camera cuts and all that stuff. And after all this came to light, and clearly they still had shows. Yeah. And they were sort of letting you go anyway. Because they were angry. Yeah, I had to work my notice, so I had to still work shows while it was all very awkward

really. Just sort of sat there like, having to obviously be in very close proximity to people I've annoyed by the choices I'd made I just, you know, I don't think there were any like majorly hard feelings I think, you know, it was people just understood but yeah, yeah, it was good

I'm still really proud of everything we achieved with WCPW, but yeah, it's just nice to not have that stress. Is it true that they had to take you on freelance after you were in notice of run out as well like on a couple of occasions? There was, I only worked one extra show which was literally just after my notice had ended

and it was because, like I basically said, look, I know I'm sort of leaving your hind right here and I went along on the work to show. And that was the first Defiant show and it's just gone from strength to strengthen them from that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Didn't they want to sort of train up now editor at Coultholic Dick Tubbs

to sort of take over like the... Perhaps. And then he came over here as well. Maybe. I don't know. much about what the plans were going to be after me. All I know is that I probably wouldn't, and I wouldn't expect it either,

I wouldn't expect to be, you know, a freelance guy working for them because it's a pretty big conflict of interest. Yeah. So, yeah, it was just sort of like a mutual thing and I knew they would find somebody else. I didn't know if they'd hire in or they'd train somebody up, but yeah, they're getting by.

No, yeah, they're doing very well. We've got a question here from Phileen H-A-K, which I think you're going to have to explain. Out of all the idiots, who is the most Diddler? Who's the most Diddler? Just to explain the context for the people who don't know. It doesn't mean that. On our podcast, I'm not too sure how it's happened.

The terms of Blue Eye and Didler have worked their way into our wrestling vernacular. So blue eye means baby face, good guy. Didler means heel, bad guy. Which is sort of appropriate. Yeah. I can see Potter being the most dastardly. of diddlers, yeah? It's the facial hair,

yeah, it's true. I can cut it up if I need to. You've got the suave British voice as well. Driver Jack. I wish I could afford a jack. You will soon, don't worry. Can't afford my rent.

How is the like, because sort of you had, did you have a brief break between just solidly doing WTF moments at name redacted to starting doing them here? Yeah, it was, I think, was September, mid-September, I stopped,

and then it was the UK show mid-November when I started back up again. The plan was what, we were all going to jump, and then we would resume operations on a set date, and then I had to then work my notice, which I wasn't expecting. And that sort of pushed things back, and then there was, like, lots of things, but... Yeah, things just kept pushing things back at the start for us, which was really frustrating, but then finally we got there,

because we had two, because we had no money. Yeah, look at this Doing amazing Doing all right Yeah And you're still enjoying it right Yeah Yeah

You do it twice Do it raw smackdown and pay-per-views It's a god said not doing NXT As I'm sure you'll understand Because making a video Longer than a minute for those Just gonna confirm right now

We're bringing it back Starting this week You can go to hell Yeah Being forced to do those It wasn't good Because it was that wasn't it It wasn't so much

Like I enjoy doing this I enjoy seeing people fail well no not even that but just like you enjoy putting the show together and doing the character and stuff it was very much a sort of case of you're not allowed to go on holiday because we need you here to do this show every single

that wasn't allowed weekends on the next tea shows and stuff like that everyone else was enjoying theirs I had to drag an editor in which is the worst part sometimes Sam sometimes Richard which you feel guilty for but I don't have a choice you had to dress up to dress up it's me guys

Everyone just loved it so much And they had too much money Speaking of dress up though What did those guys find today, Ross? Well, I still can't believe it's there When did that trailer go live? I don't know what video you're on about It doesn't exist

Come on now When did it go on? It was October So I think about 10 days before that I buried that cape About six inches underground Right, really? Six whole inches

That's really big Yeah It was going to be six feet, but it turns out all of that where it is, it's just stone. So we've got six inches down as well. That'll do. Most people are very satisfied with that. Yes. It was above ground, so it was like some smackheads was being running around playing.

The table was gone. See where we went back there? When did we do that stream? Which stream? For the charity. Oh, God. That was, uh, for yours. For mind.

half a mind because that was the day when Phil went through and when we went back to when we went back to film that in the October the table was still there we used it in like November

December right and the table was still there yeah somebody's at someone's at the table yeah maybe it's just like a super fan came by found it and no people were living there

there was food packets and all sorts that may have been nice yeah after we were there doing that there's a barbecue covered in cheese there will be a video on that suit it will make a lot more sense

talking to videos yeah Cameron Sykes CT underscore Sykes asks I guess he's kind of asking us but we're gonna have to ask you guys when will you be appearing on straight to hell yeah

we are filming today what yeah it will be on the channel throughout June at some point amazing June July it's bloody July now isn't it

Jesus Christ It's sometime during July Yeah, we do one a month Because getting guests up here is quite hard Yeah, yeah And then some moron Just happens to be wandering past And like, fine

Kind of like your bent potter In the idiots Normally of name redacted That's a fucking guy in here Gotta do an easy 3K I hope not Well, we could wrap out there Yeah I mean

All the other questions are just the same I was trying to desperately find More aggressive towards name redacted than I expected That's all right Just to clarify, I might not have meant that so harshly. I might have. I'm going to leave it up, in the air. Well, yeah, people can work it out themselves.

But if they're going to work it out, they need to know, obviously, you guys, better as presenters. And where can they do that, Ross? They can visit the cultaholic YouTube channel. They can visit at cultaholic on the Twitter. They can visit at we are cultaholic on the Instagram, at cultaholic on Facebook. What's your Twitter?

What? What's your Twitter account? Oh, what's my Twitter account? Yeah. At Ross on Rastling. I hope we're going through the entire. We have Parion also. Patreon.com forward slash.

I was just trying to throw you off by whispering. Oh, you did that. Great job with that. Where else are we? We're on Patreon. We are on Vimeo, but you won't be able to follow us. Be willing if you have... You will if you have Patreon.

Yeah. What else? Discord. That's a little... We've got an eBay account. Sometimes. Well, when we do stuff, if we sell it and give it a charity.

Sellings for charity? A whole some boys. A picture Adam Pachiti did of Braun Strowman. That was. With his knob hanging out. 180, I think it was. Wow. Some guy in America.

Cancer Research. Oh, Mr. Scott Brise. Oh, Mr. Scott Briseer. Shout out with Scott Brise. He probably might not listen. Who did it go to? Which charity? Cancer Research this time.

Lovely. Brilliant. We did some art recently. Yeah. I wanted to sell it for charity. Peter wanted pizza money. Yeah. I think Peter money is why.

Pete's money. but we don't really know how to go about that so we'll have to talk to you off the air about how eBay works I'm complicated I know how eBay works yeah you can say it up so you don't even see the money at any stage

yeah just straight everything everything gets paid for just goes Perfect well we'll have to do that then guys thank you very much for chatting oh thank you for chatting to us and we'll go and grab Adam Pachiti and Jack erection on buses king

that's the one tomatoes out What a lovely bunch of men. Wasn't that nice? What, you say bunch? Oh, do you mean including us? Yeah. There's only two of them.

They're all lovely. Yeah. There's still a bunch. You can still get a bunch of bananas with two on it. I think it's a disappointing bunch. That's a pair of bananas, surely. All right. Well, I don't know.

All right, if you're going to be Mr. Etymologist of him. That is interesting to know, yeah. Is there a collective term for bananas that isn't yet more than two? Yeah, it's three a bunch. Three is probably a bunch. A jewel of banana. I suppose you don't say a herd of cattle for two cattle, do you? No.

Right? But then is it a herd if it's three? Yeah, what's the classifier there? What's the cutoff point? Maybe it's like a few where that's three or four. There is a number assigned to it, but we don't really talk about it. Because then the world will collapse. What if you have two pairs of trousers?

Is that a herd of trousers? I don't think you would go into Gap and say, wow, look at this herd of trousers. Well, I mean, two pairs of trousers is four trouser legs. I'd count that as a herd. That's true. Maybe even one... A herd of trouser. One pair of trousers and half a trouser.

That's three, so that's still a herd. Yeah, exactly, yeah. You only need one and a half pairs of trousers for it to count as a herd. Yeah, or a few trouser. Yeah. Look, would you like one or a few trouser? But then you wouldn't have the S on the end, would you? No.

A single trous. I've got a few trouser. Anyway, sorry, that was a lovely chat. Thank you again to Sam and Ross for that. We hope you found it enlightening. And make sure you go and check out all of those lovely. links that they plugged at the end there to go and support them if you like wrestling stuff.

They are the number one spot for that. And next week, or next fortnight, I should say, next episode of Pollyets, we'll be talking to Adam Pichiti and Jack G. King. Yes. And we've also got lots of video content coming up as well, including a video that's going out on

Thursday. Oh. And Sunday? Yes. Yes, that's right. Yeah. Double whammy, damn. That's a lot of colorholic. Double hoammy. So that's very exciting. Now, this those of you who are familiar with poddiet will know that we do we will bring a thing along to talk about that was a thing right then yeah but because that took up some time we're actually just going to sort of anecdote and answer questions our way through this podcast we hope that's okay it's still us we just don't have a thing to talk there's no investment opportunities yeah yeah no weird weird capitiatea no micha micha's murders yeah no no Now, before we start, though, I think we should talk about our time in Newcastle. Yeah. We've got a birthday shout out because we have sort of established ourselves now as the adult children's show of the internet.

Are they having a party? Or you know who to call? It's Bobby Babylonie. Yeah, Patrick Burkholz, if you want to call Bobby Babylon, she'll come around. Hi, Evelyn, and she'll sort out all of your balloon animals and stuff. It's his birthday on the 12th. He's turning 30 and he needs something to take his mind off. being old. Once you're at 30, though, that's it. That's when real life sets in. You're not, it's all downhill from that. You can kid yourself until you're 29, but yeah, at that point that clock takes.

As soon as that's Thursday, you've got two days left. Enjoy it, because it's all going to go shit after this. Holy shit, guys. They're supposed to be taking his mind off. Yeah, just because we're a little way from that. Hey, it doesn't mean that, you know. It could be worse. You could be 40.

Or Boris Johnson. He is over 30. Exactly, yeah. Bopp is Johnson. Bob is Johnson. So we might accidentally start saying Boppis a lot. And I don't know that there's ever going to be any context given for it. If you want to Google just Bopis meme, there was...

So every time I hear it. Does it actually come up if you Google Bopis meme, I think. Yeah. B or P-I-S. There's a photo of some American supermarket where they've written, buy online, pick up in store. And they've abbreviated it to Boppis. And we just think it's a really funny word. It's such a Brian Butterfield word.

We spent three days just seeing it to each other back in Newcastle. We've just started inserting it into like conversations and puns. Boppis Johnson and Elvis Bopis Presley and all sorts of other stuff. Merry Boppins. Yeah, exactly. Mary Boppis. It's the worst thing to ever happen to us. It's awful. So if you hear it, like, we won't explain it again, but if you hear it, you know why and it's involuntary.

We can't help it. We've got a serious problem. It's just part of who we are now. Who would like to lead the way with our Newcastle story? Where did we begin? Well, uh... Glitch, what is it? it? Yeah, when is it?

It's now in the autumn. It's not happening anymore in the past in early July because... We would have been there. We would have been there. It's been moved for reasons that I imagine they've explained on their statement and it's not

for me to go into them. And we're still going. We're still excited to go. The reason why we went to October was to go to glitch and that fell through. Well, I didn't fall through. It just got postponed. So we had free flights home. We had flights. You can't refund flights really when they've been paid for so we said well we'll still go up uh we've got friends up there my my girlfriend lived up there until last week so uh yeah went to see her went to see our friends

at cultaholic uh hung out with jules g gill i don't know what his middle initial is but i've decided it's g g gill jules jill off of the name redunded it's like jill's jiggle yeah jill's jiggle and scott to tailford scott to tailford yeah scott t aleford our former partners in crime yeah and that was Lovely. It's nice seeing them again. We went to the Hoppings. We went on some fairground rides. Bobpings.

The Bobpings. So it was a fair. Hoppings, Boppas is a fair that they have every year in near Jesmond, right? Yeah, yeah. We went along for the last hour on the last day. Literally, we left the flat at 10pm. It stops at 11. Yeah.

We went there. Everyone was closing shit down. We queued up to, one. The queue up was a fucking, that's it. We went up to a man and asked him if we could go on his ride. And he said, yeah, absolutely. He strapped us in. sat us down and then spent the next 10 minutes

going, anyone else? Anybody else? Come on. Come on getting. Last ride. Anybody else. On you come. Yeah, playing fucking Robbie Williams and shit. And we were just sat there like,

we've only got 40 minutes left. Yeah, it was like crash time. We want to go on more rides. Yeah. It was nice. I enjoyed the rides. I think I had a lot to drink and eat that day. Yeah.

And so I had a lot to drink that entire week. Yeah. It's been a bad two months, really, to be honest. I felt pretty grim in the morning because I'd not had masses to drink but my last couple of hours in that day entailed me eating half a bag of tangfastics

like a share bag that was for everybody and then... Those aren't share bags really. No, they're not. No, yeah, the single bags. And then loads and loads of candy floss from boppings. So I went to bed with a reasonable amount of alcohol in me and also like my weeks recommended daily allowance of sugar. and I felt really sick in the morning.

We got back to Peters Flat and was like, oh, we're a bit hungry, but like not hungry enough to get a dominoes. So me and Ben, we're eating like little scraps of... Everything was closed, right? Yeah, we actually nearly started drinking again, but all the off-licenses were shut, apparently. They just closed at like, yeah, 11, which is weird. Nothing within walking distance.

No. So we sort of just gave up on that. We spent like an hour in the Discord server looking at YouTube videos at all the sending. Yeah, that was nice. Yeah. You should go and find that Discord server. I don't have a link for you.

The link is below. I will give Ben the link and he will give it to you. I will put it in the description to the video, but also it is automatically in every video upload from like last week. Oh, that's right. It's in the below area with all the other stuff. Yeah, if you're not listening on YouTube, then just go to any recent video. Facebook and the About Us bit on the right hand side.

You click on that. There's a link in there. It's everywhere. You can find it if you want to look for it. So, yeah, in Newcastle, we recorded several videos. We chatted to the Colaholic guys, as you just heard. Yeah, did some gameplay stuff with them And we also

We may have We may have filmed a little Prove It finale, live action finale No It wasn't something to do with that Absolutely delicious looking barbecue We posted a photo Yeah, that absolutely delicious barbecue

Where we had fucking bok choy covered in soil And people are going Why'd you have boc choy at a barbecue And you do realise You do realise that your food is touching the floor I don't think, guys, I don't think that's... The Tesco Value cheese slices on the barbecue grill melting through it.

Yeah. The fact that I put fucking emojis in one of my tweets when I have uninstalled the emoji keyboard and had to Google emojis and copy and paste it into the tweet. And it still didn't give it away. People are just really gullible. I got really cross about it. You did.

I'm glad you did. And I was like, I'm actually genuinely disappointed in our audience for not realizing this is like a. videotic post thinking that we're going Hey guys Look at how cool barbecue we're having In a fucking

Nuclear Wasteland Looking place Yeah Just with soil On our cheese To be fair You did actually Three hot dogs on the floor

I think You'll probably get food poisoning off that I wouldn't like to be there eating that food Shut up Thank you If that was you You two did actually

eat some meat From that barbecue It was surprisingly good Yeah but that was the careful meat That we had actually cooked The rest of it was, you know... Prop meat.

Everything that we ate was already edible. Yeah. Raw. Nothing was uncooked. Do you call cheese singles edible? Barely edible. You could use that to... I mean, you could use that between bricks and build a house.

Yeah, absolutely. You don't need cement. You can just use your cheesy singles and build yourself a home. But it was a really lovely time. Yeah. I see my dog. See my friends. Yeah.

Spending a lot of money. Whoops. And then I stayed there. You guys flew back down. And I moved me and my girlfriend out of our old Newcastle house, which I don't even live in anymore and haven't done for six months since we moved down here. It's sad. We forgot to say I met Mr and Mrs. Austin as well for the first.

Oh, you did? Peter finally took me to meet his parents. To meet my parents, yeah. It was a big move for us. I've not met yours yet. You haven't. They're not fond of you. A weird restaurant, didn't we?

where now keep in mind my parents will listen to this no of course it was absolutely delicious and i'm eternally grateful for one of the best sunday lunches i've ever had but yeah absolutely i agree but it was also kind of strange that they they had every vegetable ever made on the plate yeah just sort of in a nice like puree yeah and then they juzz yeah a juzged it a jus yes and and they then took those all the vegetables ever made and did them in every way possible as well. You want them stringy, spongy, reflective, cube, pointed.

With a little universe on the top. On fire, outside. You have to go to a different table to eat that one. Two-dimensional. Fourth dimensional. It was insane. It was a very posh place, isn't it? I once went to a restaurant and got a charcoal macaroon served on a stone.

What the fuck? Served on a stone. The stone sounds more appealing than the macarono. The macroom is fucking disque. I love macaroons, but that was a terrible, like charcoal. It literally tastes like death. Oh, man. The rest of the meal was nice, though.

I once got taken to a restaurant like that as like a birthday treat, and I was given one of the, we were on like the tasting menu, which is one of those, essentially those Ponzi ones where you get like eight courses, but it's all tiny little bits. Yeah, yeah. And the first thing that was served, it was like mint and pea soup. I hate anything that they put mint in. Yeah.

That's a staple of posh places. If they put mint in something where it doesn't belong. It was like air or chocolate? Yeah. But that's not a Michelin-Star treat, isn't it? Keep it away from meat, thank you. I don't want it on my meat. No, it was mint and pea soup.

That was what was written on the card. And when it arrived, it was in this little... Is it just polos? No. It was more like puree, not soup. So it was like a paste. And it was cold. So just cold, it was like cold mushy peas.

And so I sort of forced that down. I enjoyed the rest of it immensely. What's the cold tomato soup cold? Like gazpatch or something? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was never called either Gestapo or Dispaccio. Like, dispisito. It's a despisita.

Yeah. Fuck. So, yeah, you met my parents. They're very lovely people. Oh, thank you. They think you're a very lovely boy. Oh, thanks. When are we getting married again?

What, you and my parents? Well, no, it depends. She's up for it, really. Yeah, I don't know. We're not set a date yet. Peter Austin is the distillation of both his parents. Am I really? to a tea.

Like, he is a combination of both of them. It's quite something. If you want to talk to... Sorry, that was a weird cough. I was like, I'm trying to cough, but it's happened. It's happened. I'm sorry, everyone. It's fine.

If you want to talk to the two alter egos of Peter Austin, and you speak to his parents. My mother greased you with a cheek kiss. Yeah. Which some people do nowadays and some people don't. No. And that's fine. I was surprised. For Yorkshire, it's very advanced.

Yeah, it is. I thought it would be just away from the car. be from the cart we won't come any closer how are you yeah that fucking crow that crow that we got sent the video of on Twitter and if you did that thank you very much there's this crow in yorkshire that's learned to mimic human speech very close to where I used to live I used to go to nersburg quite often really yeah um I did god I might actually look it up just so I can play the audio what does it say again like you're right love you're right love yeah I'm All right.

The audio is weird, but seeing it coming out of a crow's mouth is a different experience. It's a hooded crow as well, which is weird. A hooded crow, you get them mainly in mainland Europe and like the Scottish Highlands. You don't tend to just get them anywhere else in the UK. No, they don't usually have yorker accents. And they're like, they've got a white torso and a black head, which is strange. Okay, I've got it here. Oh, some nice clickies there.

Excuse the boppas. Excuse the boppas. It's a fucking bird saying that You're all right, I'm all right I'm all right Oh, it's so horrible There's one final bit in here Come on, give it to

I'm all right, I'm all right I'm all right I'm fucking out To me to you, tell me to you I'm all right I'm all right I'm walking up and just saying You're right love

Freak you out, wouldn't it Have you guys heard Hoover the Talking Seal No It's this really fucking weird. It's a seal that, I think it was at San Diego Zoo, and it just learned to mimic human speech, right? Oh, my God.

They picked it up initially from, like, some harbour, and then it ended up in the zoo. Are they capable of that? Are they that clever? Well, yeah, but the weirdest thing is, there's, like, one recording of him still. I don't want to, it's going to auto play, and I don't want it to.

Okay, there we go. And he starts talking, and he's sort of saying, it's a bit of a shitty recording from, like, the 60s or something, and he's going, get over here, get over here and then he sort of transitions back into seal

as he sort of goes he's like get over here ah la roar are you ready that's so weird yeah this is Hoover

the talking seal oh there's a bit of pre-typing oh yeah yeah come

come what that sounds like a person it just sounds like a man he's going get over here come on come on

That's kind of like the shit we hear where the seagulls here. Yeah. He just sometimes it starts and you don't know if it's intercourse or a baby crying or a seagull. Or someone being murdered. And then it turns into seagull and it's absolutely, God, animals are weird, aren't they? Do you hear that? Coco, the lying gorilla, the man of the sea. The other talking animal.

Lying bitch. Cocoa gorilla was, was. was a man in a suit. It was a whole thing. Not a woman in a suit. Not a woman in a suit, no. Because it's already gender positive because the man was portraying a woman. Right. And if that's not 2018, I don't know what... But why wasn't it

a woman given that acting job? What? Then it would have to be... How come men are playing women now? Why don't women deserve to play themselves? It would have to be... It would have to be Conan the gorilla then, because for that to be gender positive and neutral, she would have to portray a man. But in this case, it was a man

portraying a woman. I think we can all hold hands and agree Of this totally fake gorilla This man in a suit This is a man in a very advanced suit You've seen Rampage starring Dwayne the Rock Johnson Yeah, that was a man in suit. You know what they're capable of getting guerrillas to do these days Or men in suits.

Sticking their middle finger up. Well, exactly. Whatever you believe they died. Yeah, the man inside Cocoa, the gorilla died. Why can't they just get another man to be Cocoa? Well, out of respect for Cocoa. Have respect for the memory, I think purely at this point of Robin Williams.

Yeah. Because Robin Williams was the one who was really the victor. him here. Well, he had the... Totally hoodwinked by this man in the suit. Is that why they got on so well? Have you seen his arms, Robin? Yeah, actually, yeah, good point.

Well, not recently. No. Yeah, I have so... I hate to see them now. I don't know. Oh, God. But he's dead, though, so rest in peace. It's fine.

He can't fight back. Yeah. Both Robin and... The Williams Estate can fight back, though, so we're going to get sued. Oh, they, again, they've got to catch us first. Yeah, what are they going to do? We can outrun email, I'm fairly sure. Yeah.

I'm very good at ignoring him. Just not reply. Quite happy with that. What was the question? Newcastle. We didn't have a question. I think we finished our Newcastle ramblings now. Oh, the crow?

Yes. That was from Yorkshire, which is from my parents. Yeah, we were going to wave from the car. They're very lovely people. Thank you for dinner. Yeah, you're very welcome. She's very fond of you. She hopes you're well.

Well, I'm all right. She would like to meet you, Michael. I'm all right. I'm all right. You're right, long? Yeah, I'm all right. I'm all right. Come on.

Get over here. All right, babe. Let's answer a question, shall we? We do have five of these. I don't know how long we've been going for. A long time. Oh, we've got time. Good job.

We didn't bring her thing. 20 minutes, roughly, I think. 20 minutes. Okay, that's all right. We hope you enjoy this rambled chat. In the words of Adam Buxton, a few people will know what that means. Josh Dixon at J.R.D.

11, 235. Is that over the talking series? As it's the 10th anniversary, what are your favourite memories of the Yogscast? That was yesterday, right? It was. Happy birthday. Oh, shit.

Yeah. It's the anniversary. week right now. I think they're celebrating all week. Yeah. I've been watching. So yesterday they released a new Yog pod, Halloween Spacket, Tentular. That's amazing. And today, I noticed that they've put out a Minecraft adventure map.

Yeah. Copying off us. Yeah. Come on. Fuck you guys. It's my favorite memory of the Yogs cast. God, it's hard to say what the favorite memory is. I know some of my favorite videos. Like, I really enjoyed when they did the trials, live action challenge. All the live action challenges were great.

The Voltz video, where the bomb went off. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was incredible. It was a standalone video. Yeah. What was there? And they did like the World War II one where a grenade went off in Simon's hand as well. And he'd like only just thrown it.

It was about an inch from his hand, I think. He'd just let go. Shaking, red. Yeah. I remember being introduced to Shadow of Israfal. Yeah. I think it was actually before it had sort of taken a brief break that it is currently experiencing. Yeah.

And I had just undergone some. quite invasive surgery. I think I'd just finished I think I'd finished my second year of uni and my friend said I've been watching this thing, it's really good and I remember just sitting there I had to, I had my PS3 hooked up to the TV

and I was sleeping downstairs at my parents because I couldn't actually get into my bed at the time. Cripp-absorpe, absolutely cripp-cropped. And I had to load up this weird third-party YouTube website in order to actually load the playlist and watch the videos sequentially because it wasn't a proper YouTube app for the PlayStation yet. Oh, right.

So I lay there and I just watched all of them and just thought, this is just so, so good. It was amazing. I was just hooked, completely hooked. Hooked and I can't stop staring. I think it was a good, part of my life where I was just falling asleep listening to Sips playing Skyrim. He used to really enjoy that series. It was really good like 50 minute long episodes like, cool, by the end, I'm asleep and I'm dreaming of Sips. I have a Yogs cast surgery

story as well. Oh shit. I also had had surgery. Was it similar surgery? Is that the one we've discussed? I know what surgery you had and you knew what surgery I had and it was that similar surgery. It's when you were made smaller and I was made bigger. They took

a portion of my body. You took your kneecaps and put them into Peter all the other way around. Yes. It's like the South Park episode. Yeah, it comes a dolphin. Yeah. It shortened all of my bones and added them to bends. Yes.

While I was recovering from painful surgery in which I was also crippled and could not really get upstairs, I sat in bed and watched Hat Films doing GTA playlist and stuff like that. And there was an episode

where Ross was just doing the voice of a slug woman who, I guess, kind of like what's her name off of Monsters Inc? Oh, fucking, yeah. I'm watching you. Yeah. He's watching.

But it was with a, like, a British accent. And that had me doubled up with laughter. And it was really painful to laugh. But just, it was Ross going for like five minutes going like, I'm a slag woman. I've got a slimy face. Just doing that. And that kept me going.

And now you're actually dating, Ross. I am. I've got a lot of people on the go, haven't I? Yeah, all sorts. She's running the tiny feet big tiny peat big feet website Yeah You've got loads of clients there Busy boy

Outrageous Yeah I have many fun memories of the August cast And that's why we wanted to come and work here And we're so happy to be here 100% Thanks guys Thera Bennett At Bennett underscore Essel

That's SL Essel Asks what possessed you to make a discord Just before you got on a plane Michael Johnson This is one for you I didn't really think I made the discre

the night before, like 2 a.m. was thinking, all right, I'll get this together, see how it's going to look. We nearly missed our gate as well. Yeah, because we were so distracted by it. We're just sitting there, waiting around. We're all getting notifications. People are breaking it. What are we doing?

Yeah, we were sat in the airport. We had like half an hour to go to our flight. I was like, guys, I made the Discord last night. Should we just like tweeted now and launch it? All right, yeah, let's go for it. And then within about 10 minutes, there was like 200 people all there, all talking at the same time. You know who you are.

Totally unmoderated. All the shit was flying through. It was like, oh, shit, okay. And then Peter got a message from someone Oh God, I need to know his name He's James, I can't remember his username though Yeah But yeah, he offered to moderate

It's like, okay, cool, thank you very much, we need this And we slowly, we've slowly developed it And while we're away over like five days We had like requests, suggestions To build up this empire of discordiness And he said that he apparently He was like, oh yeah, I can help moderate if you like Because I moderate on Shin's Discord

And also I like created the previous Vidiates Discord, we were like, what? There was a discord already. What previous discord? What are you talking about? I keep a very close eye on the social media's and I somehow managed to not see that. Some sort of secret society where they don't tweet about it.

Rule number one of video's unofficial videos discord. It's just James in there on his own. It's don't tweet about it. Yeah, no, that's cool that used to happen. I wonder what we missed. I was like internally panicking quite a lot. Just thinking like, this is a lot of people. Yeah, we've got to turn off our phones soon.

Are we semi-responsible for moderating the cyber bullying on that and stuff? No bullies. though so far yeah it's all been nice everyone's been lovely and very very nice people yeah

yeah go join it it's fun but yeah that was an interesting yeah sort of 20 minutes and like shit ah the gates

closing in like three minutes we were literally sat on the tarmac at one like ready to take off just before we had to turn our phones off

and then Michael was like okay I think I've worked out how to turn off the text to speech thing because people were spamming text to speech and quickly sent the message saying

okay it's apparently off now we're taking off bye because I expect like 50 people that join at most and we fucking quadruple septupled that and um yeah within two days so whoops

check it out it's awesome go and chat to you friends are very lovely in there thank you for supporting us and also they've got like a it's weird it's I mean it is weird because it's about us and it's always weird when people do things for you because it's like what why I'm just I'm just a guy

but they they've sort of developed their I'd say get in now because the cult is You thought we were hard to get into, like we're in jokes. Mike got the Discord's next level. I look in there, I'm like, I have no idea what they're talking. There's a bear in the big Blue House parody intro that one of them made that's just talking about the Discord server.

James, Jack? Jack Bradshaw. Shit. Sorry. No, it's fine. I got his last name. And there's that, is it, Sharky guy? Oh, yeah.

He's just, his only mission in life is to achieve the top level of certification. We've got like an XP system in there where every message you send kind of gains you XP. We're going to have to add some more levels now, I think. Level 100 is heavy to get to, so he's got his working for him. What is Level 100? CEO of Vidiot. It becomes our official CEO.

That's not legally binding. Well, yes, it is. Okay, cool. You stay away. I think beyond that, a lot better poster, maybe. That's the ultimate, like 250, level 250. Or just the better poster. Yeah.

Next up, we've got John Stewart at Jay Stewart Film, who asks, Two first names. Sure. Did you go to school at him as well? No. No, no. Well, it doesn't sound like a turn of phrase. I don't go to people with school with people with two first names.

I go to school with like Camilla High Water. Mike Arm. Mike Arm, yeah. Which is what's attached to your microphone currently. Yay. The mic arm. Okay, let's get on with this, Peter. Yeah.

Personal pick for Worst Game from Worst Games ever. I mean, this Friday's one is a stinker, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. but it depends what you mean by bad because you can get fun bad you can just get outright awful bad This was kind of tipping the scale towards out

It's an entertaining video and you should watch it It is a good video actually But I would I would not have played it for as long as we did if we weren't making a video on it I can tell you some of the best ones we played In terms of entertaining No, in terms of not being the worst games ever

London Racer Police Madness Wasn't too bad No I can't imagine doing that gameplay loop for like 15 hours but yeah Clive Barker's Jericho was probably

playable I guess yeah I still don't understand the love I was screamed at you by the commenters oh my god yeah still our most viewed episode

for we should really put the last of us in this series shouldn't we just get people worst game ever I think maybe

I mean Catwoman was pretty dire yeah that was bad but then oh no what was that fucking the Simon Miller one oh Beverly Hills

Coff I think possibly has to take it That was just like abysmal in every sense of the word. Yeah. That was a good one. Have we spoken openly about the episode that we lost the footage for? I think we have done somewhere. Yeah, we did it with Coltholic.

I mentioned it in passing in one of the videos we did with them. Fight box. Fight box. Kindly sent in by someone who I don't know the name of off the top of my head, but I believe they sent in other games as well. Thank you so much for sending that. It was so dreadful. It wouldn't have been a very good video anyway,

and then the recording fucked up. And we're like, we can't play this again. We wouldn't put it out, but then, yeah, we just literally lost the footage and we're like, we're not sitting through another hour of this dross. It's like prison break. Prison break, we actually recorded an episode of that and name redacted, and we were gutted because it was such a good episode. It was so funny.

The bit where you run past the guard in the basement and he doesn't see you, we just, we really hoped that would be replicable. We had to do a little bit of acting when we did it again, because we left it for, what, like six, seven months before we gave it another go. And we're like, right, we should do the first episode on this. because we know it's a good episode. And then we already knew what a lot of the stuff

that was going to happen would be and hopefully a lot of you enjoyed that and couldn't tell that we'd copy it before. No, we've been in the business long enough now. We can act it all. We're pros. It's all fake. But it's weekly now.

Yeah. It's actually weekly. Good God. It's coming weekly. Help. Weekly, worst games ever. Luke Smith. At Luke 5 myth.

Oh. Very cool. on Twitter. Ben, have you ever asked Peter and Michael their views on wipe supremacy? Yes. No. Wipe with a P. W-I-P-E. Wipe supremacy. Explain wipe supremacy to me.

So I do, and this is scandalous, another podcast. Yeah. It's a PlayStation podcast called PlayStation Radio UK. You don't have to listen to it. I don't do it very regularly because I'm too busy here doing this podcast. Do they still do it without you? It's just me and Simon. So it's just the two of us. Not that, Simon.

No. No. That guy's got like seven podcasts of his own. Yes, it is. You have to pay for those. He's a busy man. He's got to make no money. He's on the hustle.

Yes, fine. And we got talking about wiping one's bottom. Right. Now, as it turns out, this isn't something that many people discuss. No, no. And it is interesting to discuss it because while it is discussing ting, it is, it seems to vary rapidly. rapidly, rapidly, I'm terrified...

From person to person. I'm terrified to find out a new wiping technique. Oh, there are so many different aspects of it as well. Yeah, there's like some people... There are like five things to consider. I wipe from back to front. As in, I reach between my legs. Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's what I think. And I come forwards, kind of like a digger. Right? Like a digger. Like a JCP. You grab your oily French tour. go dig deep with that bad boy

do you not worry about wiping poops towards your balls see this is the conversation that I have had a million and one time and know because when you train to do something from childhood it doesn't affect you

now women your vagina is a beautiful but that is a whole situation that you don't really want to don't make them poop so women naturally would you know go the other way but we ran a poll and of the

I can't remember number quite insignificant number of people surveyed it was a 50-50 split between back to front and front to back

front to back but we spoke to more people about this some people stand up yeah standing up I'm fine with right see like I've never heard of that I don't stand up

some people go side to side and do a little twizzle and then like a back flip or something I used to stand up as a kid then I learned to sit down I learned that technique was it because you just couldn't stay still But fucking hand, oh my god, just, I want to try it tonight.

Oh, no. You can if you want. Oh, no, because it goes so badly. It's going to feel it. It's like writing with the other hand, but even worse. It's like writing or wiping with the other hand. Now, there are also other things, Michael. For example, are you a folder or a scruncher?

Oh, I do a combination. I fold and, like, do a mild scrunch. So there's like some texture there just, you know, really get to get to the, I'm a very tidy, uniform folder. How many pieces are you using? Actually, because I usually like wrap it around my hand a few times. I have people come to state that just churned through fucking toilet. Yeah, no, I only use...

Two pieces. Two pieces per wipe. What the fuck? You must have the most dainty shits ever. Sometimes I go through a lot and it really hurts my ass. Two squares, they're two ply and you fold the two squares into one, the same size as a single piece. Yes. And then even then, you...

you might, I would even potentially fold again. What? How, you don't use no surface area to work with there. You're not maneuvering anything. I'm very dexterous. You're dabbing it. You're just dabbing it. Dabbing. Yeah, they both just dabbed. Can't confirm.

Michael and Ben just dabbed. Stop saying it. Yeah, I will. Now, there's something else as well. What is it? I don't want to fucking know. Oh, yeah. Now, we talk to someone from, well, we talked to several people from name redundant about this.

And some people, this fucking blows my mind. Maybe it is because I use a very small surface area and therefore I wouldn't be capable of doing this. Some people wipe, they then take the piece they've already used, fold it over and re-wipe. Oh, no! Yeah. Ben, where do you stand on that?

No, usually I will do our wipe. Yeah. But, and here's the thing, do you guys check the toilet roll? No, I don't do this. No, I check, I check. So I have a check, and if it's like, I can do better than that, I'll go for another dog. No!

But I'll twist it in a bit, so it's... It's like it's not an issue. See, I feel like I should check. I don't check. How do you know how clean your ass is? I can feel that it's clean. I've never... It's all...

It's lies. I've never ever had a skid mark issue in my pants. So I've never... Again, it's like you learn how to do it. You learn how it feels when it's clean. But how do I know... Clean butt. But how do I know when I...

You know, if I have blood in my stool... Exactly, yeah. Which I probably don't. But it's nice to know. You need to check. these things. You do need to check these things. Check your balls. Check if there's blood in your poops. Check if there's blood in your urine. If there's blood anywhere other than in your veins, it's not really a good thing. Unless, you know, your vagina is beautiful. Oh,

of course. That's a perfectly natural. I mean, you know, that's more than just blood is, is, you know, that's a distinction. It's life. It's a potential life wasted. Why didn't you get pregnant this month? You terrible person. You should have been married and pregnant by this time this month. Yeah. Can we never talk about wiping again? Well, that's the thing. Wipe Supremacy is not meant to be a topic that... It's not a happy comment. I feel really fucking discussed in a right now, be honest. It's not meant to divide people.

It's meant to... It's meant to celebrate as I have... Diversity. It's celebrate the diversity of the human spirit. Diversity. I have very good. I have... Because it is a diverse shitting, isn't it? Yeah. I have over the course of a, like a couple of years now, come to terms that...

Yeah, you're a monster. That I am a... Wipers. Wiping in a different way than a lot of people. And B, I am... An antipodean wiper. I am not... But it just swells the wrong way. Yeah.

I am, because I'm above the equator. Also, B, I am not alone in that. There are people who do the same thing. Yeah. Well, you think you think that. But they think you're the freak because they've never heard of this, like, standing. I don't want to check the video's Discord tonight

because it's all going to be arse and shit talking. Well, it will be now. Yeah. Now that you've said that, it's just like Peter and his piano. that might fall on him. I am interested in... I say it's going to happen. Actually, at 6pm, I'll post a poll.

Actually, you know, at 7pm in the Discord, I'll post a poll. Okay. And so everyone's had a chance to listen. To be fair, there are a lot of women in there, and I feel like they're going to sway that vote. I was going to say, I do want to see a straw poll of forward versus backward. Side to side. Side to side.

Check the paper versus no check. Checks or no checks. How many squares, fold or scrunch? I want all of this information. Someone needs to... Bigot Pooop census 2018. Yeah, we're doing

every year. I'm interested in. Okay, I'll get working on that when we finish. Oh, good God. Yeah, that's just something that has occupied my time previously and I just wanted to...

Maybe the best way to do it is just to make a Google sheet and let everyone fill it in. And you fold it once, actually. Yeah, choose how many Google sheets you want to use, but... Thanks, Luke, for bringing that back up again. Yeah. Finally, we've heard from Steph at Derelea, who I think we've heard from before.

We have, we've had some tat, I think, from that person. She said, I'm here in time. What's the best holiday you've been on? Oh, interesting. That's a good question. I once almost unironically went to Pontins. Oh, no.

With some friends. Poppeth. Poppins. Pontins, if you're unfamiliar, is like Butlins on a budget. And if you're not familiar with Buttlins, but if you're not familiar with Butlins, but on a budget. It's sort of like, it's a thing unto itself at this.

point it's like a cruise but you don't go anywhere exactly so they've got entertainment everyone lives in like is a caravental hotels there it's it depends it's sort of blocks of the nastiest flats you've ever seen soviet block flats where exactly you're still allowed to smoke in those oh yeah yeah you are wow because we sort of felt like we had to because when are you can get that opportunity in the year of our law to 2016 yeah so we we went as adults yeah we were the only all adult party there which isn't to be surprised by

there were a lot of kids there there were signs everywhere and that's the thing I don't want to disparage Pontins because I know for a lot of families that are strapped for cash it's their option It's good for families

Exactly It's not the best idea For 523 year old Why did you decide to go there Because it's cheap Because it was cheap Nobody would fucking organise anything Michael

Why would go on Why is it always me that has to organise where we're going? Everywhere is full. If you're going to make me organize where we're going, I'm going to fucking book a weird flat at Poppice. And we're going to go there with their strange mascots that look sort of vaguely. Oh, they have mascots. Pre-owned.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, very, very pre-loved. The signs have been there since the 90s. Signs saying no ball games allowed. And there were a couple of signs where they didn't, where the puns. The fluctuation was wrong on them. And we took a permanent marker and we put an apostrophe in to fix it. Nice.

But that is, it's not, certainly not the best holiday I've been on. But it was just, I just wanted to talk about it. It was an interesting and strange time for me. I used to go to like caravan parks as a kid in my family. I went to a few of those. They were boring as shit. I mean, saying that, he's not the arcades. Yeah, that was it.

Yeah. And at the end, I remember one year I went, had enough tickets to buy a pen in the shape of a turd. Wow. Talking of turds and pontins and butlins. Oh, God. My uncle once went to, well, I think he's been to Butlins a few times actually, but one of the times he turned up with his friend. He turred up with his friend.

He turned, well, he did. They went into the bathroom in their room, and there was the most diabolical food poisoning shit in him. Oh, no. I believe he cleaned up. He didn't, I don't know why he did. I'd ask for another room, maybe. He just thought, all right, I guess we need to clean that.

So we just did. Once we were on holiday in Egypt and I clogged the toilet with a massive poop and we had to get the maintenance guy to come and sort it was so bad. And that was the best holiday you've ever had. Oh, geez. Wow, this really took a turd. A turd. A turd.

A turd. Well, actually, that's the last question we've got there. Oh, shit. So thank you very much to everyone very, very much. Thank you very much for sending us in questions. Thank you for listening. Schedule for this week. We've got, I mean, it was, we've got a.

Minecraft series now. Fuck it. We're doing a Minecraft series. A little bit of apprehension to begin with but the feedback has been very positive so far. The view of figures are pretty good better than Skyrim Zoo and definitely better than memory cards so we hope that you'll stick with that because it's a very silly series

and... And keep in mind that the first four episodes were recorded in a single session so as much as you have all been telling us stop spamming your sword, it's different now. It's too late for that. So episode five onwards we will not spam our sword. And Michael will not

dig Redstone with a stone pickax. Oh my God. Yeah, I watched that. I watched that the other day. That was funny. Peter as well, you keep accidentally quick opening your menu? I don't know what that's about. I'm not doing that. I watched it back. That was not happening on my screen. That's really weird. Yeah. I'm hoping it just won't do it

again in a new session. But like, if it does, that's really weird. Like, if a single frame, my my pause menu is coming out and I'm not doing that. As I wondering of that was, yeah. Oh. Bizar. But we've seen all your feedback and your ideas for what we do next. We'll make sort of a game plan

going into the next set of recordings, which I think are actually happening in the next few days. So we'll get all those done. So thank you for watching those. We've then got a post-sum tat on Wednesday. We've got a special cultaholic-themed piece of cake on Thursday.

And then we've got a worst game's ever on Friday. Oh, my lord. Another Minecraft on Saturday. And then a Sunday-Funday that's also cult-holic themed. Damn, son. What a do-da-da-da. So the cult-holic stuff, I think, is largely being thrown out this week.

There will be another Sunday fun day next week and then there'll be the final podcast chat the week after. I've also been on, as you heard in our chat earlier, on Straight to Hell on their channel so I'll be popping up there. And even if you're not interested in wrestling, if we tweet out the video, just go and give it a like

and a nice comment saying, oh, this was really good, lol. I liked it. Just to show that actually, yes, it was really good. Thank you. Is it next week we're doing prove it starting to prove it

oh it might be soon I don't know I think I think the first let's play starts next week and then the following week is a finale week

yes and that's exciting and that'll be going out on the Thursday of that week as well which means you'll have a worse games as well that week

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I looked through it yesterday and it's like, oh, look up all these people, just standing with... There's babies in our shirts. There's like... Dogs and cats, looking at them. It's lovely. If you go to an employer and you say that I was in the video, it's cool people, you know, album on Facebook, I'll... We'll back you up, yeah. If you need a reference...

Yeah, yeah, just let us know. We'll sort you out. You may have also noticed that we're starting a lot of our videos now, or at least some of them, with a tell your friend's Identin jingle and some people have already sent us some which is fantastic If you send us the...

They've already got like 20 on the go now Yeah, they're great Yeah, it's wicked Please subscribe to the video's YouTube channel Thank you Thank you He tweeted us today He said he was very excited that he saw that

That's great If you want to be featured in that as well It's just a short message Just video yourself Landscape Please not be great Landscape just saying Tell your friends,

Vidiots but doing it in an interesting way Or in an interesting place Tell us where you are. I don't mind people starting from, in a very much ripping off achievement hunter way, from the Grand Canyon in America.

Tell your friends, videos. Yeah. You know? Simple as that. If you tweet us that, that's fine. We can rip the video from that. Facebook, it's impossible. So Michael has set up a special email address.

Tell your friends at gmail.com. Tell your friends videos, isn't it? At gmail.com. Tell your friends. Friendsvidiots at gmail.com. Because tell your friends was already taken, sadly. Damn, tell your friends, vidiates at gmail.com. Just attach the video.

It does the job. Yeah. We'll download it and stick it into circulation. Yeah, boy. And that's it. Make sure you leave us an iTunes review or a rating or a review on your platform of choice. And what's the thing we can leave them with today? Oh, shit.

What was your best holder? Yeah. It was your best holiday. Let us know down below and put hashtag secret question. Did you go to Pondon? Did you wipe weird? Did you leave that shit in my uncle's room? Was it you?

And how did you wipe afterwards? Answers on a postcard, please. Yeah. Wonderful. Thank you very much for listening, everybody. We'll be back in a fortnight, but we'll be there almost every day on our social media

and on our YouTube channel as well. Thanks for listening, everybody. Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Goodbye. I don't know.