Podiots - Podiots: Episode 101 - The Neighbour’s Cat

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

Ben has a message from an old friend, Mikey is monkeying around, and Peter brings the sequel nobody asked for. Donate £3 or more to get a shout out and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/vidiotsofficialdiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Mikey's Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/parrotboy Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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leased a 2026 X-E-90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions apply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. It's been a long time. It's been ages. Bloody ages, like...

When did we record episode 100 and 50? In April, wasn't it? Yes. God, it... Oh, Jesus. God, it's been two whole months. Jesus. Then we did 99 after that, I think. Oh, yeah.

remotely. Yeah, we did. We recorded 99 after episode 50. It was all very confusing, but we haven't spoken. to each other and it's been weird I haven't spoken to Peter as well in like a month and a half

which is very odd when you work together sit next to each other it's been a challenge really weird yeah has everyone been anything exciting happened no not really it's just it's just a bit warm isn't it

I mean lots of current affairs things have happened since last time there's been the jubilee of course For those who care about things like that, there's been... The Queen's Jublies. Yeah, there's been Joris Bonson nearly getting in big trouble twice because we had the party gate results, and then we also had the vote of no confidence.

Good times. Other stuff has happened to, probably, I don't know. I'm happy that in the last few months of the world, kind of collectively going to shit, I got to enjoy a night of pop world, which was a good, A good beacon of joy, I think. It's... Yeah? Oh, I don't know.

There's something special about Pop World. For people who aren't familiar, pop world is just... If you condense British culture, all the worst bits of it into one big, hot, sweaty, dark room exists in that space. They have one in every city.

It's great. It's like a church or a cathedral. You're not considered a city in the UK if you don't have a pop world. I was remissed. We had some friends visiting. And I have... I'm used to Pop World in Newcastle where it's free entry

and when I rocked up to the front door and I was like, do you have to pay it again? It's like, yeah, to Tenor. I was like, what? For Pop World? Shut up. And then, actually, you know, that was fine. I dealt with that.

I was like, whatever, I'll go over that. And I paid eight pound for a drink. We went to the front of the club. And then two lady dancers came up and had these champagne glasses filled with glitter and unleashed it. Oh, my God. A never-ending torrential rain of glitter

for like, literally, I'm not lying. minutes and my drink by the end of it had like an inch thick layer of confetti in it. I would be so furious. Glitter is, it should be illegal. Well, yeah, it wasn't even like the nice glit. It was the good, good old fashioned fish killing plastic glitter. It was, I had fun nonetheless. That's terrible. The British classics. That's been the highlight of my last two months. Well, that's you all caught up then. That's what's happened. That's everything. Hello everybody and welcome to Pottie. It's the official video.

Vidiots. Podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us, where everybody brings... A thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. I'm Michael. brilliant it was nice doing it in the same room wasn't it yeah there's a lot less

fear in it it's it's you can just have faith you can look the person in the eyes and know that you're gonna you're gonna pod at the right time and just get on with it what we should do is just insert the audio from that episode every time now in your future recordings yeah yeah maybe we should maybe we should I was about to say at this point I would normally ask you how you've been but we've we've just done that literally just done that yeah so instead i'm going to tell you to give us money that's what i'm going to do welcome back new century of episodes new us we're money hungry and uh we're going to completely ruin the format and ruin the podcast for everyone because we're going to just make it all

about making as much money as possible um every thing will be sponsored now from now on Every sponsored thing, imagine that. Every question comes from a Fortune 500 company as well. Right, yeah. So I think the first, you've got the questions, Peter. I think the first one's from Shell. It is. They want to know, do we really care about seals and penguins?

Do we really? The answer, of course, is no. I've heard that fish actually love oil, so. They do. Like fish oils. Makes fish delicious. It's where they get it from. How are those cod liver's going to function

if we don't pour oil in the ocean? Precisely. And that keeps my joints working too. It does. I mean, how can I have that without the other one? So it's really exciting 100 episodes for you guys going up. It's going to be great. And you're going to love it.

However, on a serious note, if you did want to support us financially, not that you have to, you could go to streamlabs.com forward slash podiots donations. If you donate three pounds or more, you'll get a shout out at the beginning. and the end of the podcast you will join Pod Squad and we'd appreciate it very very much obviously it's a voluntary contribution you don't have to do it we are a church really yes

not like Pop World you know it's just just to help fix the potty it's roof that's what we're raising money for now so do consider that Mikey do you want to kick us off I would be absolutely I would love to I my words oh give me a minute I'm going to get back into the get well get ready for some butchering Jesus Christ you think I've been bad last few ones he's ready all right here we go we begin with Lord Brotovic Podiot's natural order again

Mr. Blobby becomes a golf coach Poga read Specky Becky Donak 07 Kermit the Pog Stephen Skodes Freddie Weber

Ooooooooo or ooh-oo If you want to be like that It's been spelled that EW EW EW O

BARTEC of Frothing rain drop joy, farts McCool, the achy-brakey, Ian Jasper 57, the generous, check the blobbies. And they say, did anyone check if Dick Marchinko was still twitching? Oh, no. Let the man rest in peace. Rip, rip, Dick. Rip Dick. Rip Dick.

Oh, God. Mr. Macca. And lastly, Ben, can I buy your bass amp, please? Excuse me? Yeah. Oh, yes you can. I'm selling, well, no, my parents want to sell my base amp from when I was a teenager. I don't know how this person knows, but I must have mentioned it somewhere. Yeah, I hope so. This was a long time ago, which maybe a year ago. I think I talked about that. Oh, right. Okay. But yeah, you can if you want, sure. Yeah, there you go.

Capitalist era podcast. Here we go. It's all about making money. Yes. We're just going to sell it. It's going to be Facebook Marketplace, the podcast now. I'm just doing a quick Google because... Yeah. It just occurred to me, the mention of Mr. Blobby there. I think Mr. Blobby was involved in some sort of Jubilee celebration. Oh, no. He was on some kind of game show as well recently, wasn't it?

Blobby. Oh, it's just someone in a Mr. Blobby costume at like a street party. I don't know. I feel like he's done something officially recently, but I don't know what it was. Anyway, I'll read my squad now I am herpes free since 2003 Excellent Mr Blobby becomes a mortician

Which has not ice by mortician, is it? I don't think so Nipple H No, it's not The Far Wall Caroline, can I have mum's ashes Fecal Jugsson Cheggie Cheggie Bang

Alice. My Melodies of Life. Scooby-Drewby-Drew. The very generous Jason Allenby, who says, Taking a break from Twitter, so this will probably be the last time I joined the Pod Squad. It's been an honour. Keep up the amazing podcasts. I will listen to each one. Thank you for your service, Jason. Jason, if you still wish to be in Pod Squad, you can probably roughly work it out every four. Well, I mean, you can donate as soon as the next episode goes out. You'll still be in the Pod Squad. You don't have to donate within the last, you know, last two days before a recording. But no pressure.

It's up to you. Absolutely no pressure at all. Mr. Macca, Kurt Cobain, How Do I Tube, Tony Hawke's Prostate Exam, and the very generous, Ace at Grace, who says, Wish me Look, I'm going for open heart surgery and have been stockpiling your podcasts. Funnily enough, when I first heard, Hi, Evelyn, I had been in ICU. You. Mickey, your serial killer facts and ketamine led to some interesting hallucinations. Thanks guys. Excuse me? Oh my God. Have I been, is my side gig being rumbled here? I'm actually dealing. I think they mean their ketamine and your serial killer facts. Oh, that makes sense. Right. Wow. Have fun with that. Jesus. That's me. Wow. Well, all the best, Ace at Grace. Hope you, hope you do okay with your surgery. Yeah, absolutely. All the best to you.

Yeah. Finally, in the Fast crew, we have Make Ben Fast 2022. David Clitinson, Grommits, Lipstick and Cheese. Oh. That's, lipsticks are another word for doggy penis, isn't it? Right. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Okay. I don't know. Okay. Do better than that. Come on. That's just vulgar.

Jenna Russ from Tom That's very clever But no Not falling for it Return of the Caroline Caroline can we play jackbox Caroline no That's it

That's the story I think there Meaty waffle crust A brick up my debt hole Mr Macca Prince beefcakes But cucumber turns brown Great Another very clever one

Big Titty Jesus 42 and the incredibly generous Corey Poindexter who said long-time listener slash watcher wanted to thank you three for always making me laugh even through the awfulness of 2020 I bought a first run of the PS Vidiot's logo shirt years ago and realised I forgot to ask my question

so I'll tweet it at you, cheers. Thank you, Corey. Thank you very much, Corey. Absolutely, absolute legend. Really generous donation there. Absolutely. And that's your pod squad. Reminder. Streamlaps.com forward slash potiates donations

three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. And you support the podcast as well and we appreciate you very much. Cheers. Thank you. Peter, you've got the question, Jons. I have. I've got the question from Corey that was mentioned there on the last donation.

Corey asked, Hey, lads, Corey Poindexter from the donation, tweeting a question. What's your favourite A Thing? One of the other two idiots has ever brought along. Cheers, and many thanks for always making me laugh. Now there's two things that we should say here Number one We can't quite remember

Whether we have actually just been asked this very recently Because it sort of sounds familiar But I don't know if it's Just from where we've read the question on Twitter From Corey I really, I don't know I have no idea But I think it's

I think it's not been done And the other thing is There are a lot of things aren't there And it's difficult to remember them all So 300 Yeah 300 things Wow, that's a second take on, what was the plot of 300 again? Where were they going?

Who were they fighting? They're fighting the sexy, androgynous man god. They were Spartans, and that's all I remember. So our things are now officially part of a Spartan squad. Yes. Well done then. Blimey. Well, there's so many different ways to come at this.

I really like the recurrent things. You know, I like doing, um, uh hello i like doing tournaments and i like not the onions those are fun yeah um but there's got to be some some good one-offs i think in just in terms of absurdity and like how much i enjoyed listening to it it's ben's uh dig through of osama bin laden's hard drive oh my god it's just i just in the in the repertoire of things i would never expect to see or experience that is like just truly truly astounding and it was hilarious it's does everything Everything is hard.

I mean, some naughty stuff in there, but some just absolutely crackers. Horse dance. Horse dance. Never forget. Horse dance. I mean, that's... Some episodes of Tom and Jerry or whatever it was. Yeah.

Even bad guys need downtime. Wasn't it almost the entire catalogue of Tom and Jerry? I think that's what ended up trending. People were saying, did you know, you can now watch any classic episode of Tom and Jerry. And it's hosted on the CIA's website. Yeah, thanks to Osama bin Laden. Yeah. It's fucking really weird.

So bizarre. One of my favorite things was Peter's story about Meatface, obviously. I did wonder who brought that. But yeah, that's just, that's an all-timer. That's just stuff of legend. I listened to one of our, um, uh, the season highlights episodes recently, and that was in there. And I did enjoy reliving it, actually. Back when, before we ever knew, and just as each extra fact comes out, you know, like we look at the photo and we're like, oh my god what is this and then it's like the kids wanted to keep it and cook it and eat it for their dinner just a real roller coaster talking of roller coasters probably one of mine would be the rosy and jim cassette saga oh yeah because we heard about it and then that was kind of it

and then eventually you got the cassette and we're like oh my god but then we only got half of it because it was melted. It was the other side was warped. It wouldn't play. Warped. And then eventually you got... How did that happen? Did someone send it to you?

Someone had the same tape and sent a recording of the second half. Yeah, absolute hero whose name I don't have to hand. But yeah. Couldn't believe it. I thought it was lost forever. Yeah. Brilliant stuff. It wasn't as scary as I remembered it being, but it was still pretty fucked up.

Yeah. You just let me back down the rabbit hall of looking at the reviews for Held Hughes. It's still Feldhus Felt Hughes Felt Hughes Furn foods Potty it's

meat facery There's still reviews coming in like as recently as a month ago Jesus And remember all we did

was change it to meat products Someone added the word Podiots and I think someone else turned it into a meat facery

Yes It's a real cumulative community effort That one Lest we also forget The dog wrap

Dog wrap Of course Of course, Jesus. Well, in a similar vein of musical stuff, the Merry Podmus, the Pollyets Christmas song, oh, that had me grinning from ear to ear. It was magical. I liked, actually, this is one of my,

just one of my own things. Oh, too, too. Purely as a group experience and the way we all enjoyed it together, I enjoyed the MIDI, um, uh, garlic and chips, you know,

where like the MIDI notes, like create, actual acoustic sound. Oh, God, it's fantastic. And, like, half the audience were like, that's one of the worst things that's ever been submitted because all I could hear was just sound. And then, like, the other half were going,

oh, that was great, you know, I heard every word. It was a divisive one. You know, the... I nearly turned off is what some people said. Yeah. I could hear it clear as day. It's very much, it's what, you know, the nightmare piano from Mario 64 players

when it goes around is the sound of middy Jogson. Yeah. Middy, middy Jogson. There you go, that was nice. A few things. So who's got a new thing that might become an all-time favorite? I do. I do because it's episode 100 adjacent.

Oh, right? Oh, okay. Go for it. Now, you might remember that I reached out to, rather optimistically, to a lot of people. Yep. to try and get a video, well, just audio message to celebrate episode 100. I asked several people, Simon Miller came through. He did.

And that was it. But I also asked the likes of David Miller Band, Dave Benson Phillips, Dick and Dom, Neil Buchanan. And also, what's his name? Dave Chapman, whose agent said she or he would pass it on to Dave. Yes, otherwise known as the voice and the puppeteer. behind The Neighbors Cat. And out is the Art Park. Dick and de Bomb.

I don't know why I said that. Dick and de Bomb and de Bungalow. And we often quote, The Neighbors Cat, if you're not familiar with that name, you may well be more familiar with the Stoke-on-Trent song, which is featured prominently in a lot of our output. Yeah. So I am thrilled to say that I did eventually hear from Dave.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. I did hear from him. And I have the email chain here. you'd like to hear some of it? I hope it ends with leave me out of it. Hi Ben, sorry for the delay in getting back to you. It's so busy at the moment and thanks for being complimentary about my work.

It's no problem to record you a message from the Neighbors Cat for your 100th episode. Hopefully iPhone recording will suffice. I'm on a job early tomorrow and then on a flight. So we'll hopefully get it to you late tomorrow afternoon. Is there anything specific? Is there anything specific stuff slash content slash names? you want me to reference? Or are you happy for me to just go for it? Best, Dave. Oh my God. I hope this doesn't have a sad ending, Ben.

Well, just you wait. There's a Dave who actually followed through. Dave, Brian. Irish Dave. His family had COVID. Like, that's an excuse. Come on. Hi, Dave. Not a problem at all. I really appreciate you taking the time to get back to me. iPhone recording is absolutely fantastic and the main beats are that it's our 100th episode the three hosts of Peter, Michael and myself the podcast is called poddiots and then in brackets podcast slash idiots

and we adore the Stoke-on-Trent song anything you could do involving that information would be fantastic and then he got back to me and I don't know if he was maybe getting cold feet at this point but suddenly he just goes hey Ben all good no worries at all

is there an episode where you reference the Stoke-on-Trent song that you could point me in the direction of so I can listen, or is that crazy talk? So I was thinking, maybe thinks we're taking the piss a bit. You should have said in the game selection video? Oh, God, that was the fart one, though. Yes, it was. Hi, Dave, pinpointing a specific moment in a specific episode will prove tricky,

but we do quote it often, especially when we've been all over this week. I put it in quotes. I wish the following explanation would help clear things up, but it'll likely unshifted to build... being all over this week. He's going to, he, now he thinks you're taking the piss. He didn't before. I wish the following explanation would help clear things up,

but it'll likely only serve to bewilder you. We ran a YouTube channel in 2018 called Vidiots, which Podiot spun out from. And this video is perhaps the first example of us talking about the Stoke-on-Trent song. It is the farting. Oh, no! No! Why?

Why? Oh, no. With a timestamp. With a timestamp. So he doesn't have to listen to the farting. He just has to listen to the little tombollah being spun. I signed it off. I'm so sorry for making you watch that.

But hopefully it proves our love for your work is true and just. Thanks, Ben. I mean, at least, I mean, he comes from Dick and Dominda Bungalow, which was just wall-to-wall toilet humor. So he started it, basically. Yeah. This is your fault, Dave. He certainly did.

He then got back to me in a different new email chain. Right. And he sent me a file. Which you have called horsedanceFLV.m4A. Yes. See, initially I wasn't sure how to reveal this to you. I was hoping I could pretend I had a different thing and then swerve you and surprise you. But I realized that most of the thing is explaining the journey to this point.

So it really doesn't. Anyway, it's got a name that doesn't represent what it is. But if you want to press play and then quickly pause it, we can all listen to it together. It's a bit delayed because obviously we are a couple of weeks after episode 100 now and a long time after we recorded it. But are you guys ready for a very special message? I'm so ready.

This guy, no joke, is a bit of an idol, actually. A bit of a hero. Not even Neighbors Catwise, but Otis the Ard Fark was honestly one of my favourite. things as a child. Are you ready, guys? So ready. Three, two, one, play. Hello, poddiots.

Oh my God. It's me, the nervous cats from Dick and Dom in Da Bonglo, saying, hello, podiots, Peter, Michael, Ben, the poddiots. Peter Michael Ben, is the Bible? You've done 100 podcasts. Wow, think how you could have spent that time more wisely, listening to albums by Desire or helping old ladies across the road

even if they don't want to cross or baking lots of cakes for a loved one but you did you made a hundred podcasts so well done you. I've done it now I've said congratulations can I get two chicken wings? Somebody said if I did it too chicken you're still recording right well done

wow that's magical he came through he did he really did The places that vidiots and podiots has taken us, that we've had personal messages from Dave Benson Phillips, the neighbour's cat, we've got signed photos of Dick and Dom and Ed Milibald.

We're going to meet them soon as well. Yes, yes. Goodness me. That's more than ever could have hoped for. It's weirdly unnerving. I don't know why. Yeah, he knows who you are. Right in your ears and say your name.

He's watched you fart, Michael. Oh, my God. I feel like that's a badge of honour. I'm going to take that to my grave. That's it. That's a crowning achievement. Wow. I really fucking tested him as well.

I could have sent him a real softball, like in terms of here's a clip of us reciting the song. But I just could, that was the only example that I think of go. Yeah, that you can actually find by searching my channel. Yeah. But he still came through. And he did it.

He did it for us. And he did it for free. Well, did I say that. You didn't. Well, that was a question, not a statement. Okay. I didn't disclose his fee or any further information because I really don't want people to pester him. But I won't comment on that either way, but he really did us a solid. And thank you, David Chapman. Thank you very much, David Chapman. I hope you'll send him this timestamped bit of podcast, Ben.

I mean, it'll be two months after the last email of him. So this was that long ago, was it? Yeah, it was a while. I think he's definitely long since forgotten now. And I doubt that he would be that interested in it. No, probably not. I thought maybe he'd only just got round to doing it because I'm sure he's a busy man.

Yeah, it seems like he is. He's in Star Wars as well. He's in Star Wars. He does BB8, the little ball boy, isn't he? A little bull droid. It's a testament to him as a person that he not only humoured the email chain and then I went deep into it. I got sent a video and still went along with it.

He wanted to do the research. I like to think it's because he's a professional. He wanted to do the research, you know. Yeah, yeah. And I appreciate he did it. He didn't just do the voice, but he, it was like he was halfway through a shoot at Pangborn, you know. Two chicken wings, please.

He was in the middle of, you know, he's in Slough or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's my thing. I wish it would have been in time for episode 100. but I did leave it until literally four days before we recorded to email everyone. So that's my bad. But that is my thing.

Well, what a dream. That's fantastic stuff. Incredible work. Well done, Ben. Well done. I think you got the best one. The best one came through. He really went for it.

He really did his best, you know? He did. Yeah. On to another question here. This is from Adi at 2 Adi underscore P on Twitter. Fuck, marry, kill. Mike Wozowski, Woody from Toy Story and the car from the cars. What's his name? Lightning McQueen. Lightning McQueen. He's only posted photos. He's not even put their names. Kill Lightning McQueen. Yeah. Because he's shit and cars is shit and if you like cars, you're 12. So grow up. And I wouldn't want to fuck or marry a car.

Fuck Mike Wazowski because he's fit. And marry Woody because he has job security and he's brave. And he sounds like Tom Hanks. you don't necessarily have to fuck him because he is only a sort of four-inch toy. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. That would prove difficult. Uh-huh.

Those are my thoughts, anyway. I don't know if you guys agree, but that's what I was going to settle on exactly that. Yeah. Oh, well, look at that. Exactly the same. I mean, Wuzowski exudes sheer sex appeal, so it was never going to go any other way.

That guy fucks. Quite clearly, he fucks. He does. And also, he's, but he's also sort of wacky and slightly accident-prone enough that he probably wouldn't make a good spouse you know you don't want to just have to rely on him for life whereas woody he's got it all yeah and less we forget mike is a one-eyed monster too so that's good

yes indeed that's what you want well we sorted that one pretty quickly we did we fucking fix that jeez fuck you lightning McQueen no no there's no redeeming quality is that man No, no, nothing going for him. Nope. There's a question here that I also meant to sort of do at the start because it's a bit of housekeeping. It's only a mini question. But I'll do it now before we get too far along.

Actually, no, I'll do it at the end. I'll save it for the very end. Oh, God, I forgot the thread, the photo thread. I should add a photo of... Oh, you should. You should. So, oh, stay tuned for some interesting. I know I just literally described it as housekeeping,

which makes it sound boring, but it's actually... I think you'll want to hang around for it. So, yeah. Time for a thing then. Mikey, do you want to go now or after me? I would absolutely love to go now if you don't mind. Go for it. I come with a tale about a man and that man's name is Ken Allen, the name of Champions. He's a master of escapism, a daring thief and a musical inspiration with fans all across the world. This individual made quite an impact on their time on earth, except this wasn't any ordinary man. Ken Allen was actually an orangutang.

Ken the orangutang. I can hear you smiling all the way through that, Mikey. I knew there was a twist coming. The other week, I went down a pit of just looking at orangutang pictures and videos and going, oh, they're great, aren't they? Was it after that clip that went round of the person being pulled up against the bars? Is that why? Wait, what? I'm not fully with that. Oh my God. Okay, I'll have to find it for you guys. It's, uh...

That sounds horrifying, is it? It's an influencer, uh, stepped over the, step, like, through the barrier and went right up to the bars. And it was, and then it, like, grabs him by the leg and it's like yanking him and he's sort of going, uh, oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's pretty, it's kind of horrible. I thought they're meant to be quite docile, aren't they? You think so? I don't know if it's, like, actively trying to hurt him but it's just grabbing hold of him but um the person who sent it to me was like oh my god watch this video it's hilarious and i watched it i was like fucking hell that's not funny at all that's really scary i'll try and find it but uh do carry on mikey yeah on the whole orangutans are are generally lovely gentle creatures and absolute little legends i highly recommend just going down a rabbit hole of looking at them i god i want to meet in orangutang now monkey hole He was one of San Diego Zoo's most notorious residence.

He was known for escaping his enclosure to go on walks around the zoo. And in his 30 years of living there, his escape antics delighted tourists to the horror of his keepers. People came from around the world to see escape artist Ken Allen, earning him quite the fan club. Ken Allen was a BBC presenter. Yeah. Yes, yeah, in like the 70s with a strong mustache. Is he a member of that famous family with Keith Allen and Lily Allen? Yeah, there's another one as well.

Alfi. Yeah, all those famous Allens. And then also Ken, the escapologist. This is the best Alan, number one, Alan. Yeah. So, let's, um, a little bit more background story on Ken Allen. I'm going to say the words Ken Allen a lot because it's just quite, I just, I did something really, at least alluring about that name. Yeah.

Attached to a monkey. Oh, so good. So Ken Allen was a male. Borny and orangutan. who lived in San Diego Zoo from the 1970s until the year 2000, and during his decades of captivity, he became notorious for escaping his enclosures at least nine times. Wow.

Quite the artist. His first escape took place on June 13th, 1985. The 250-pound orangutan climbed up his retaining wall at the San Diego Zoo and escaped his exhibit. He walked down a public path towards crowds of weekday tourists, greeting them, they passed, he even took in his surroundings, stopping to look at the other animals as if he was a visitor at the zoo before being led back to his cage by concerned zookeepers. Some man

just wants to have a nice day out, you know, screw it. You've got a zoo on your doorstep. You want to go experience it, why not? Yeah. You never think about that really, that you can be an animal in a zoo and there could be like a lion there or like an elephant, but like if you're in the wrong part of the zoo, you'll never get to see it. Oh, there should be a mandated of whenever you get an animal in a zoo, at least let them look at the other animals. Give them a quick tour before you lock them up. Yeah.

In this instance would not be the last time that the ape escaped. Oh, very good, very good. Sorry, this is pull, oh, I need to find the article I pull this from. But yeah, a good pun there, well done then. But instead of a PR disaster, for a brief time in San Diego, Ken Allen became a folk hero. After that first escape, zoo officials ramped up security in his pen, an open area with a jungle gym made of utility poles and a large moat in the back.

Behind the moat was a massive wall, which they then extended an extra four feet. But this wasn't enough to contain Ken Allen. Ken Allen. Ken Allen. A few weeks later in July, he managed to climb the wall yet again. This time he was a bit more irritable. Oh God, zookeepers found him in front of another ape enclosure, tossing rocks at another monkey named Otis, a fellow.

old orangutan and a former penmate who according to the Los Angeles Times was not known to be amiable. So clearly Ken had some beef with Otis. Wow. So he went out of his way to find the asshole cellmate he used to have. I'm going to throw a rocks at him from here. So already, absolute legend. The escapes continued that August, Ken Allen, found a crowbar in his pen that the workers had left behind. I'm just going to say that's a big whoopsie. Giving, giving Apes weapons is a dangerous move,

especially to one that is notorious for getting out and mixing with the guests. Oh, well. He then tossed the crowbar at another orangutan, Vicky, who used it to pry open a window and let Ken out. So, yeah, so this wasn't done out of malice. He tossed the orangutan, tossed the orangutan, tossed the crowbar and said, here, use this, break me out of whatever I'm being held in.

Wow. And, yeah, he got out yet again. After that incident, he was moved temporarily to an indoor pen with a, quote-unquote, black and white television with one working channel. And that's, I think that's maybe the saddest thing I've ever read. That's him, oh, he deserves one. No wonder he wanted to escape this place. Yeah.

According to the times, while zookeepers increased the security, sorry. Yeah, so they put him in there while they worked on his actual exhibit and, you know, bolstered up to contain Ken Allen. Zookeepers probably should have seen his knack for escaping earlier. He was born in captivity. Ken Allen got his name from the two zookeepers, Ken Willingham and Ben Allen, says the origin of the name. It's not just because it loves a funny name. It's nice.

They rescued him from his also captive mother after she attempted to smother him, which bless him. How could you do that to put little Ken? He's got two names as well. He's not just, he's not just Ken, the around. The orangutan, that's Ken Allen, the orangutan. Mr. Allen to you. Yeah, exactly. As an adolescent, he would regularly unscrew the bolts of his cage and explore his nursery at night,

returning in the morning and putting it back together before his keepers arrived and knows what he had done. That's exceptional. I love that. Big fan of Ken. Reports of the orangutan's quest for freedom, especially in the 80s, an era known for its smaltzy patriotism. I guess people are just willing to go on to anything that invoke joy and inspiration. He became a major selling point for the zoo. It began printing T-shirts featuring all the headlines written about Alan and sold them for $14 a piece.

Free Ken Allen bumper stickers were also printed. I want one so badly. And he was recently immortalized by San Diego's Monkey Paul Brewing Coo, Coat Coo, Co. with a beer flavor named of the same slogan. One newspaper article described him as the Harry Houdini, a nickname that stuck. Big fan. Ken Allen even had a fan club,

consisting mostly of retires of the zoo, who called themselves the Orang Gang. One member, a lab assistant named Twyla Baker, sorry, printed a 100 subscriber newsletter called the Orang Gang. news. I love this. A San Diego-based psychiatrist named Dennis Gersten, who now sports an eye patch and goes by David. The article points out for some reason. Right. Important information. Enough talk about Alan. Let's go. Let's talk about Gerston. This psycharitist was all, was so inspired by Ken Allen that he wrote a song about him. I'm going to quickly play

just a quick, a quick snippet of it, because I think it's delightful. A little ever could inspire so much joy here we go you know he's got a lifetime he's got a lifetime sentence for some monkey around he said no bars

Yes, it's a lovely little... It almost sounds like a Neil Cicerega song, but obviously before. It does actually, yeah. It broke up a lot for me, but what I did hear was, he has big old hairy hands. And that's all that came through for me, but I assumed the song was as good as that. It's an absolute bop.

I highly recommend finding it. I think it's called The Ballad of Ken Allen. You'll find it. It's absolutely lovely. Side note here. In the comments of that music video, I was just scrolling around to see what was in there. The pinned comment had a tale about Ken Allen that I didn't find elsewhere.

It goes. He was so calm. To many people, Ken Allen seemed like he was a trained orangutan. One day, as Ken Allen was wandering around the zoo, a woman handed him her very young baby. Absolutely bonkers. Ken held the baby sweetly and calmly. But word got to the zookeepers very quickly,

who arrived on the scene, took the infant from Ken Allen and put it, back in the woman's arms with no harm done. The harm was putting it back in her arms, taking it somewhere else. Yeah, this woman cannot be trusted with a child. Obviously, there's no sources for that, but she used to believe that because that's... Imagine giving your child to a monkey! That's not right.

It's insane. Oh, dear. I'm going to skip the bits about Gerston. We're only here for Alan, not Gerston, but apparently Gerston's wrote more than 2,200 songs. Wow. Quite the dysography. Meanwhile, zookeepers struggle to contain Ken Allen. There's a whole fanfare going on,

and I think it's only sparing Mr. Allen along even more. They surrounded the moat's wall with electric wire and hired rock climbers to look for potential escape routes from within enclosure. Once the orangutan learned not to try anything around uniform zoo employees, they went undercover, disguising themselves as tourists, what one headline dubbed as, quote-unquote, guerrilla tactics.

Good. Very good, very good. Eventually, the zoo spies caught him climbing, quote-un-quote, like Spider-Man, up the exterior wall before brushing the electric wire and giving up. The new security measures seemed to work, according to one report. Ken Allen, quote-un-quote, settled down as a family man. But that was only a ruse.

No, can't contain Ken. He's unstoppable. Two years later, so Ken clearly bided his time, he started planning and, you know, let everything die down, let the hype die down, let everyone think, you know, he's settled down, he's not going to escape again. Yeah, two years later, he escaped once again. This time, his enclosure's water pump clogged, causing the moat to dry up. Before anyone noticed, according to a Los Angeles Times article, he walked across the dry moat and hoisted himself onto the rocks outside the enclosure. Now, it doesn't directly blame Mr. Allen here for clogging the water pump, but I've got a feeling he knew what he's doing.

He spent two years planning this escape route and clog some bananas up the pipe. Yeah, he's been saving banana skins for months and months. It paid off. Once again, he wandered around the zoo, pausing for photos with tourists. A zoo gardener spotted him and cleared the area, and security guards converged on him. Guns ready. Jesus Christ. Oh, calm down, calm down.

Escalation. Ken Allen bolted, heading toward the lion pens. Oh, Ken, no. Jesus. mustn't. No, Ken, please, no. Before he reached them, veterinarians managed to corral him back to his enclosure, and he was nervous and agitated, but ultimately unharmed.

It was the farthest from his enclosure that he'd ever gotten. Desperate zookeepers, sorry, desperate zookeepers and, He added female orangutans to his pen, thinking they could distract him. We thought maybe he was jealous of Otis's three female friends. Zoo spokesperson, Jeff Duet, told the Times, so he gave him four more, hoping his wanderlust would turn into just lust. Wow. Try to placiate your monkey with female friends.

Amazing. What naughty, horny boy. Nauty, naughty boy. Ken Allen was a bad influence on his news. friends, obviously. A few months later, two of them, Jane and Kumang found a five-foot-long squeegee left behind by window washers and used it to climb up the wall. Jane was found walking on the path near the Flamingo exhibit and they both got out, had a little wander, as Ken taught them to do and they were both returned to their pen. In all, the zoo spent roughly

$45,000 on new security measures and the escapes finally stopped, sadly. so ultimately he quit the game with a count of nine total breakouts good for him yeah and yeah the scenes when he break out would result in crowds cheering him on as key people zookeepers would run after him trying to get him back do you know if you're still with us Mikey oh well we'll get to that it's it's not a bad it well it's not it's not it's not the worst end but it's not it's not the best even for those who remember them, Ken Allen's escapes have become the stuff of legend.

When my dad was younger, he and his friends went to the zoo when Ken Allen got out of his enclosure. He was walking around, shaking everybody's hands, looking at animals and having a good time. The local news kept up with him for a few more years, but the coverage gradually faded, and Ken Allen returned to a simple life of sitting

in his pen and giving young children the finger. I love this narrative that whenever he escapes, he goes around posing for photos. Like, they're just applying, like, human motivations onto this animal that does not understand what a photo is. Like, oh yeah, went around person for photos, shaking people's hands, looking at animals in the zoo. I will not stand for this, this, this, these bad words against Ken Allen.

He knew exactly what he was doing. Maybe saying that. I can't find a single shred of evidence about this, the photos, so, you know. In the winter of 2000, this is where it gets sad. I'm sorry, every animal story has to end like this. I wish I could find more current animals. In the winter of 2000, Ken Allen began acting erratically

and was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma. The Aang Gang News published a special two-page tribute edition and held a candlelit vigil for him. Retired postal employee and A rang gang member, Marlene McLean told the times he'd have done the same for us. Yeah.

Sorry, shouldn't be laughing now. This is where I get sad. Sorry, sorry. Ken, we're all here for you With little hope of survival Ken Allen was euthanized and cremated On December 1st, 2000 He was 29 years of age

The zoo installed a memorial In his honor Was it just outside of the plane? Yeah Actually, I need to see this memorial Yeah, maybe it's like a fitting tribute Of him climbing the walls or something See if I can find something for you, Mikey

Thank you But then again Maybe that's just what they want you to think perhaps Ken Allen faked his death in an elaborate final escape plan and he's laying low across the border in Mexico and maybe one day he'll return if only to throw more rocks at Otis and that's that's the story

oh there it is there's there's there's Ken Allen little gravestone paying respect to this absolute mad lad is someone's Snapchat it's a lovely lovely tribute it's a big slab with a lovely portrait of Ken Allen on it and a little, little bio about him. That is lovely.

I'd like to point out that there are approximately four photos of this and then the next one is a memorial to British officers. Right. As a result of the same search. That was, that was from a Newsweek article. From, actually, God. Oh, I got surprised there. I saw today's date at the top of it.

I was like, wait, that's not right. No, that's just today's date. That's from 2016. Okay. So that's an old article at this point. But he lives on and we're here to pass on the tail of Ken Allen. May he live forever. He's a hero.

He will live on in us. There's there's a lovely little monkey, a little bit of monkey business for you. Very good. Thank you, Michael. Thank you very much, Mikey. Big fan of that. And the best thing is still just that he's called Ken Allen. Ken Allen is such a brilliant name.

It is. Okay, we've got a question here from which one next? from Tommy the Wank Engine at Triggerly Sear-Eyed T who says you get to punch someone in the face real friggin hard and I have no knowledge of it after all said and done who do you pick and then he said personally I think I'd go

at Dave on Twitter which is Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave Clenching your fists Stop punching your fists So you get to punch someone No one there'll be no repercussions whatsoever no charges of assault they won't even know that you've done it but you get the satisfaction of absolutely walloping them hmm that's a weird one there's a special one yeah because it's not

just like you punch them in the noise it's this is it's espionage punches yeah it's purely for your own satisfaction really there are some famous people obviously that I would like to punch in the face but at the same time there's a number of people who no one will know the name of who I would like to punch in the face yeah that's true actually I hadn't even thought I would just my mind went to celebrities, but yeah, there are definitely some people. I would love to punch in the face. Yeah. There's a guy I was in halls with at uni.

Yeah. It was just probably the most obnoxious, ignorant person I've ever met in my life. Love to punch him in the face. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this is hard. It's really easy to go for law-hanging fruit. Yeah, like politicians and stuff.

Yeah. I feel like I need to give it a little bit of a personal twist, but God, it would be nice. to punch pears morgan oh yeah that's a good one yeah that's i mean yeah yeah trump obviously yeah that's just an easy one yes one and boris um i'm trying like if you could like if somehow you could go invisible and i mean i guess yeah the whole you have to go invisible for this to this this this this in unacknowledged punch to work but maybe just someone doing something very important and just side side swiping them

an opportune time and just throwing them off the game, ruining that day. Vladimir Putin. Yeah, that'd be a good one. Yeah, I'd take that. You kind of feel like it's not really enough, though, is it? It almost feel a bit inadequate. I mean, I guess it's better than not being able to punch him in the face, but if all you do is punch him in the face and then he doesn't even know it, it's like, okay, well, what's that?

You sold everything. Yeah. Oh, Christ. This is a tough one. Is there anyone in real life that you, obviously, I'm not suggesting you name them, but it has something, has something ever happened to you that you would be willing to describe on the podcast where you think I'd love to punch that person? I mean, there are definitely people I'd like to punch in the face, but I'm not going to say their name.

No, no, don't say their names. Oh Damn Okay, I'm just going to go I'm not Pais Morgan James Corden He's not that He's not evil

He's just he's just annoying I think if anyone deserves You know just Yeah like It's the kind of person who like Yeah you're not going to achieve anything By punching him And you don't really have to achieve anything by doing it

It's just relatively therapeutic Hmm What about What about a fictional person Oh yeah Or What about someone who you don't want to punch them because you don't like them but perhaps they've just

got a punchable face just in terms of the texture maybe like it would be it would make good slow-mo or something you know chaggers dead or alive dead yeah dead naked or clothed naked and dead oh no oh yeah i don't know why the second you said punchable face is and I've got nothing against this man I think they're wonderful and they've never done anything bad as far as I'm aware Haley Joel Osmond

Oh, okay I don't know why He just doesn't annoy you No it's just it looks like it's a face That'd be fun to punch That's the thing like People often say about Rowan Atkinson

That one of the reasons He's been a successful performer as a comedian Is that he has a very It's weird Like the number of times You see people describe like his rubbery face or his poseable face or like

and there'll be people like that who if you whacked them it would just look great and you know they wouldn't suffer for it because they would never know that's part of the terms of the thing so you're not doing it out of malice you're doing it just for pure enjoyment just to see what it's like

I mean Ben you mentioned fictional characters I'd like to punch boss Nass in the face from her yeah imagine the wobbles The wobbles would be good I'd like to quite punch I quite like to punch Sauron from Lord of the Rings in the face just because in this head cannon

I'm a hobbit and I live in the Shire and when he inevitably marches his armies across all of Middle Earth and takes over everything I can say to people I punched him in the face I punched that guy in the face

and he doesn't even know I punched him right in the fucking face no idea that would work that'd be a fun one might be quite fun to punch nearly headless Nick off of the Harry Potter

and make his head flop Oh that, yeah That's a good one actually I think Because yeah he'd be like a game Like you know those In pubs where you get the We got punch the punching bag

Hit it hard enough to sever it And pick it go flying Yeah Fuck JK Rowling Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Well there we go There's plenty of punchable people There's so many punchable people Yeah So I've got a thing here, it was sent to me, or I was sort of tagged in it, I think, by, let me just open it. I think it was Samuel de Barber.

Where's it gone? I had it open before the podcast. There it is. Yes, at Samuel de Barber on Twitter. Tagged me in a tweet thread that did very well earlier this month. 17,000 likes. Good for them. So I'm just going to read this verbatim

So credit where it's due I'll name the person in a second But I just thought you guys would really enjoy this So I'm just going to read this person's thread This is by Owl at the Library At Sketch Esby Bowes on Twitter So most people are unaware That 101 Dalmatians, the novel,

has a bonkers sequel called The Starlight Barking it has never been filmed it can never be filmed it is unfilmable come with me on this journey 120 out of eight I think I've heard about this

right it's really weird it's fucking mental this is the sequel to 101 Dalmatians the book okay keep that in mind so that is basically just about a bunch of Dalmatian puppies I mean I don't know how to what extent Disney directly adapted it

but my understanding is, you know, Crewella Deville, kidnapped some puppies, she wants to turn them into a coat, and then eventually she gets her come up and so that's basically it, right? But the sequel goes like this. One morning, the Dalmatians awakened to find that every human in the world has fallen into a mysterious sleep.

But dogs now have superpowers. They can fly, operate doors and machines with their minds, and speak telepathically over long distance, They neither hunger nor thirst. So I'm a big fan that in the pantheon of superhero abilities opening a door is in there. I mean, it's right. That is important, but...

Well, I guess the person who was writing this, I don't know, the author of 101 Dalmatians thought, oh, the thing is, if I put all the humans into a deep sleep, all the dogs are just going to be stuck in a house. Like, it'll go nowhere. Pongo, who I believe is the dad's dog from the first book slash film, swooshes to London. to meet his daughter, Cad Pig,

who is now acting Prime Minister. A meeting of the cabinet is held, which consists of the dogs owned by every human member of the cabinet. The dogs agree that Cruella DeVille must be murdered. In fact, I should, there are some amazing pictures

that go along with this, which I think are illustrations from the book. How can I do this? I'll have to send it send the tweet to myself so I can show you guys Cad pick yeah

I was stuck on that as well yeah that's odd isn't it I'm just going to post it in Discord so you guys can see the pictures but I would urge you not to read ahead but there we go okay oh they're pretty

that's lovely illustrations yeah dog assassins are dispatched to Corella DeVille's estate in the hopes of killing her and ending the mysterious sleep. But when they arrive, they find that she is also sleeping. Pongo is now very afraid.

Who is responsible for this dark magic? So I guess they assumed that Cruella had done it, but she's also afflicted. A mysterious voice, uppercase V, speaks through the television commanding every dog in London to convene at Trafalgar Square at midnight. The voice says that it will address

every dog in the world simultaneously to make an urgent announcement. At the stroke of midnight, a space dog appears atop Nelson's column. He explains that he is Sirius, Lord of the Dog Star, and that Earth is going to be destroyed in a nuclear war. Sirius loves Earth dogs and wants them to return with him to his home planet. Can I just remind you, this is a sequel, an official actual sequel to 101 Dalmatians. Pongo and Cad Pig, who are now the de facto leaders of Earth dogs,

meet with their advisors in the National Gallery. They agree that even if the Earth is destroyed, they could never abandon their owners. They will stay on Earth. Sirius accepts their decision with regret. Before returning to his home planet, he warns the dogs that their whooshing abilities will disappear at sunrise. The dogs whoosh home and their owners awaken,

totally unaware of the global drama that transpired while they slept. And that's it, seemingly. That's the end of the book. So I don't know if they sort of die in a nuclear war off camera or what. But that for you, there is the Starlight Barking by Dodey Smith, the sequel to 101 Dalmatians. Okay, but Cadd Pig? Cad Pig. Apparently, that was a character in 101 Dalmatians.

I mean, I heard of Pongo, but I've not heard of Cad Pig. And for some reason, Cad Pig is the hardest part to believe in that sequel book. What I like is that the dogs still hold cabinet meetings, and it's just the dogs that belong to cabinet members have been, you know, they're the now elected or de facto members of the cabinet. I think that's brilliant. Yeah, fantastic. I'm a big fan of the illustration of them all.

just gathered around holding the meeting. At the cabinet desk, table, room. Cadd-P-P-P-P-B. They just can't get over the Cad-P-P-P-P-P. How's it spelled? It's like two insults. C-A-D-P-I-G. Cad-P-P-I-G.

Okay, so a computer-aided design pig. Yes. Exactly that. What in the fuck, man? I know. I'm looking at Cad-Hig's Wikipedia entry now. Cad-Pig is a Dalmatian puppy. who only appears in 101 Dalmatians, the series,

voiced by Kath Susi, of the original 15 puppies born to Padita and Pongo. Yeah, Pardita, I'm fairly sure. Maybe that was just in the Disney show because they were like, fucking Cadpig, are you joking? She's going to be called Pardita. Padita is the female protagonist of the 1961 Disney animated feature film. Yes, yeah, because I remember they're in Kingdom Hearts as well, Pongo and Pardita.

I remember their names from it. So Cad Pig must have been the original. original name and Disney just thought, absolutely not. We are not calling them protagonist, Cadbury. There is actually one more tweet at the end of the thread that I somehow missed. It says, this novel has everything. Magical Flying Dogs, an alien invasion, a team of dog assassins, the prospect of nuclear war. It's absurd that Disney has overlooked this book while churning out prequels and reboots.

You're leaving money on the table, fellas. I agree. this god seeing this put into a big feature film would be spectacular yeah we had 102 Dalmatians I would much rather we just had

the star what's it called the starlight barking I've gone on the Amazon page for the book I see there's any fun reviews the only real standout one is this one's from Ron Gribble two stars headline disappointing

and the body of the review is just a big step down from 101 well this is we're on episode 101 as well so our next episode is going to be fucking mental the next episode is just going to be called the starlight barking yes even if it's got nothing to do with that that's what it has to be called wow good that's mad thank you peter for sharing that with us

you're very welcome a bit of a quick one but uh yeah thank you to samuel de barba for sending that to me i thought it's fantastic um so we've got one more proper question and then I'll move on to the little extra bit of

info that I'm sure will be the 50s exciting extra 50s yeah but we've got a question here

from Jamie at Trichart Beast A on Twitter who says it's too hot

outside what do you do to cool down I put my t-shirt in the fridge overnight Oh

that's really smart wow so it is getting warm in the UK At time of recording, tomorrow will be the peak of the current heat wave that we're dealing with. I mean, I say heat wave. It's not actually that bad.

It's a bit uncomfortable, I think. But, well, certainly up in Newcastle anyway. I don't know about you, Mikey. We're looking at 30 degrees tomorrow down here. Oh, okay. Well, I think for us it's going to be like 25 or something. Disgusting. It's still too hot, I would say.

But it's, you can't, I won't complain. But 30, I would complain. I'm going to be honest I just kind of suffer in it and every year I think I should don't even try Well that's what I was going to say Is that yeah we're going through a bit of a heat wave

At the moment in the UK And when it gets hot in the UK It's not like in many other countries Where they have air conditioning Because they're used to it being hot For half the year Or all the year Over here

There's not a lot of AC Unless you go in like sort of public buildings and things like that. I mean, the office has a bit of air conditioning, but it's not that good. So why would you spend all that money for what accounts to a couple of days a year where you need it? It's just, you just suffer through it. Yep, my car's air conditioning is broken as well and it has been for years, so it's terrible. It's not good.

I have two things that I do to sort of cope. One is put a, get a spare water bottle and stay. stick it in the fridge in the morning before you go to work and then you have nice chilled water when you come home. Another one is you get a tea towel, you make it all wet, you sort of ring it into sort of a horseshoe shape and then you chuck it in the freezer,

and then you take it out when it's frozen and you put it around your neck. And if it's really hot, that's what you do because my flat is directly under the roof and it's south facing and it gets fucking boiling. Yeah, your flat, I mean, even the previous flat that you lived in the same area used to get very warm so you've been unlucky with the balcony doors don't do anything like it's just really hot i've discovered recently that much like they do on the continent

when they open the windows but they keep the blinds or they they keep the shutters shut and that keeps it cool i've taken to just keeping my blinds closed all day every day and that does actually make a bit difference in terms of the heat if the sun's not shining in so i could never do that i feel like i'd just be so miserable sat in that dark room i mean yeah i wouldn't be hot but i don't know there's something i feel sinful about shutting out the sun i'm not injuring the day anyway so it's not uh oh so you come home to a cool i do i do i don't do a lot to keep cool really i just you know wear wear t-shirt and shorts and open the windows and that doesn't really help much um but i don't i don't think i get as bothered by being hot as other people do.

I think I'd probably rather be too hot than too cold. Some people say, a lot of people I've heard say the other way around because they say, oh, if you're too cold, it's easy to warm up, whereas if you're too hot, it's difficult to cool down. But, I guess it just doesn't bother me that much, relatively speaking, anyway. Actually, I've remembered. I do have a yearly tradition whenever it gets hot. It's the sun's coming out, the serotonin boosts here,

and it's time to unleash my first. favorite yearly tradition, and that is cold brew coffee. And oh my God, people, this is, well, this is, welcome to full capitalist poddiots, sponsored by Harrio cold brew coffee pot on Amazon. Spend 20 pound on a cold brew coffee maker. I swear to God it will change your life. It is the best thing I've ever bought is you, you dump a load of coffee into the filter, pour through like a liter of water, leave it in your fridge overnight, then bam, you've got like a week's worth of cold coffee ready to go and oh it's so good it's it's it's it's crisp it's refreshing and for me it's like it's my personal like kind of indicate like ah summer's here

you've got your cold coffee let's go I highly recommend investing one so good oh nice I'll tell you one thing I do quite like when it's very warm is we get rid of our duvet and we just sleep under a sheet oh something about sleeping under a sheet that oh it's very refreshing. Big fan of that. I usually, it's at the point in the year now where I can't have

anything over me and even paired with a fan I'm still a bit warm. That's my issue. That's why I use a sheet because you might just say well, why not just sleep with nothing

to get rid of the sheet? But I can't really sleep unless I've got something on me so I have to just get the thinest thing possible. Yeah, sheet does do the job sometimes. Very warm. Excellent. Good.

Well, there's some tips. But if you, you've got better ideas of how we can keep cool without air conditioning. Please do let us know. It's probably too late by then, but I'm sure there'll be another little heat wave at some point this summer. Yes. So clearly we need a bit more inspiration, probably. So one last question here. Just a quick one. Stuart Christ at Stucalicious asked, how close are we to the It Is Beans Time shirt? What a great question. It's a good question. and we're sort of well on our way, aren't we?

It will be happening, I think, is what we can say. Yes, we can say that they do exist in real life. T-shirts have been manufactured. I will be visiting the office tomorrow to give them the Mikey Seal of approval and make sure they're all happy with them. And I think very soon you can expect them to see, you can expect them to grace the store.orgas shop

and you can buy yourself a lovely new bit of Vidyat's merch. It's a very good design. Michael Johnson. It's, how can you describe it? It's a visual monstrosity but in all the right ways. Yeah.

It looks amazing and you should all buy five of them. Yeah. The century of monetization kicks off with a new shirt coming soon. Yeah.

Yeah. Hopefully very soon. Everything's going in the right direction. We're at the final stages now. Keep your eyes peeled. This could be the shirt you freeze

and put it, not freeze, put in the fridge and wear in the morning where it's all nice and cool. Absolutely. Yes, it could be. Free shirt.

There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fridge. Well, fantastic. Is that all the questions and the things?

That's everything. Brilliant. Thank you, Peter. You're welcome. Well, Michael, speaking of shops, is there one? Yes.

Stowe. Dot yogscast.com. I want everyone at home to be sat fiving repeatedly on the video page waiting for. It is beans time to drop. But if you just can't wait

and you feel like spending some gosh darn money, you can head on over and find an already absolutely amazing a rave t-shirts, all with beautiful, beautiful designs for you

to wear on your tour so a hoodie for the summer or maybe if in Australia, it's hoodie time. Hey, come on, get on warm up a little bit. It is hoodie time. It is hoodies.

And if you want something to drink a cold brew out of, we also have a lovely, potty its mug. Go check it out. They're all lovely. But yes, new merch dropping soon. Store.orgscast.com.

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Twitch.tv. forward slash vidiots official. Sometimes we do stuff there. Sometimes we don't. and that's it. Streamlabs.com forward slash poddy, it's donations. Donate three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. And to join Pod Squad once again, Mikey kick us off.

Lord Brotovic. Poddyat's natural order again. Mr. Blobby becomes a golf coach. Porga Red. Specky Becky. Donak O'7. Kermit the Pog. Stephen Scourdes.

Freddie Weber, Ooo. Bartek of Frothingham. raindrop joy, farts McCool, the achy-brakey Ian Jasper 57, the generous, check the Blobby's, and Mr. Maca, and Ben, can I buy your bass amp please? Yes. Also, I am her piece-free since 2003. Mr. Blobby becomes a mortician. Nipple H, the far wall. Caroline, can I have mum's ashes? Fecal jugsun. Chegy, cheeggy bang, bang. Alice, my melodies of life. The Scooby-Druby Drew, Jason Allenby, who was very generous.

Mr. Macker. Oh, I missed out Cunt Cobain last. No, Cunt Cobain! I'm so sorry, Cunc Cobain for missing you the first time round. It's an excellent name. Thank you very much. Oh, bless, no. How do I YouTube, Tony Hawke's prostate exam,

and the very generous, at Grace at Grace. Sorry, Concobein. Sorry, Concobein. Because you've had your moment in the limelight now where those all repeatedly saying the words. Cont Cobain. Concobane. We also have Make Ben Fast 2022, David Clittinson, Grommets Lipsstick and Cheese, Jenna Russ from Tom. Return of the Caroline. Caroline, can we play Jackbox? Caroline, no. Meaty waffle crust, a brick up my debt all. Mr. Macca, Prince Beef Cakes, But Cucumber

turns brown, big titty Jesus 42 and the absurdly generous Corey Poindexter. Thank you so much Pod Squad and Cunt Cobain as well. And if you go to Streamlabs.com forward slash potty at Stonation donate three pounds or more. You can join them

on the next episode. Thank you so much. Peter, I don't suppose you have to hand what is out on the idiots this week. Oh, I did. I've closed all my tabs after my thing. Oh, no. Beans Time. We'll never know.

No, I'll just get it. Damn. Just one moment. In the meantime, Mikey, where can people find you on the internet? At Parrot Boy on Twitter is the best place to keep up to date with all my antics and shenanigans. I stream once a year at this rate on Twitch. But, hey, keep an eye out. When I do do do a Twitch, it's all the more magical, right? Right?

Right. Yeah. Yeah. You can also find Ben and I on social media at Confused Unders score dude and at that Peter Austin. Yes. That's over on Twitter. Or we are together at Team Triple Jump doing all sorts of things.

You've got Rules Boss over there. You've got cooking. Worst games ever as well. Lots of things that were once, proud. Members of the Vidiates world and are now. Ours. No longer. Ours.

Yes. Okay. So here we go. I may have said this last time but Skyrim Grinch Challenge Piece of cake Worst cooking ever The official worst games ever meal

Skyrim Zoo Chapter 11 The Rabbit Apocalypse Cometh Sunday Sunday PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale Memory cards Including crazy taxi Metro Last Light and something else

Potty is episode 6 A Talk Oh there's going to be a lot as well Because it's been that long since I read one But here we go. Postum tat number 13, the music man cometh. Worst games ever game selection, 17th of May.

Prove it, Spiro to Ripto's Rage, Part 1. Worst games ever, Shell Shock 2, Blood Trails. Skyrim Zoo Chapter 12, a mammoth edition. Sunday, Fun day, little big planet. Memory cards for May 21st. Prove it, Spiro Part 2. More gameplay there. Live action challenge coming up.

Postum tat number 14, happy birthday. day Ben. Oh yeah, it was my bad. Han Solo, yeah, Han Solo Connected Dance Challenge, piece of cake. Then the raw green screen footage as well. It's an unlisted video. Prove it, Ripto's Rage,

live action challenge. Skyrim Zoo Chapter 13, an icy excursion. Sunday, Sunday, you're in the movies. That's a classic. Memory cards for 28th of May. Next page. Poddiet's episode 7, Craving McNuggies.

post some tat number 15 name redundant Worst Games Ever game selection for the 31st of May Becoming Apes Crisis on the Planet of the Apes VR where we sort of got in trouble the way we played a game Worst games ever for Sonic the Hedgehog

Sonic 06 Thought Parks the Walking Dead Living Nightmare Extreme versus three idiots was the title apparently It's a good title Sunday Fun day UFC sudden impact featuring MMA on point.

Memory cards for June the 4th. We're getting there, guys. We're getting there. Post some tap number 16, the one where they're all drunk. That's a good one. Tiny Peter dancing compilation.mpeg.wm.m.m.p.m.m. That's the compilation of what people did with the green screen footage. Tony Hawke's Random Control Scheme Challenge, piece of cake. Thought Park vlog. We lost Billy again.

Skyrim Zoo chapter 14 Jesus Christ, it's dragon-born Sunday, fun day you're in the movies part two Memory cards for June the 11th merch has arrived That was our first merch when we're in the piss alley With the VS1 shirts Potty is episode 8

The Wisenator Post some tat number 17 You'll need Jesus Worst games ever game selection for June the 14th Prove it, Pass Bar 2 The Starving Artist Part 1 Worst games ever pimp my ride Skyrim Zoo Chapter 15

The Responsible War for Skyrim That's the series finale actually Sunday Fun Day Jurassic World Evolution Memory cards for June the 18th Prove It Pass Part 2 The Starving Artist Part 2 Post Some Tat number 18

And That was on the 20th so that's it oh and making on the day this podcast comes out making celebrities in Fallout Threat challenge with Mr Bean on the thumb now yes

yeah excellent goodness me so there was a lot to catch up on there because obviously for the two episodes we recorded in Bristol we did not do what's happening this week so maybe I should have literally done just what was happening this week

and missed out a whole chunk but no No, we're going to do it properly. Yeah. There's so much stuff. Go relive the year of vidiates right now. Yeah, that was honestly about a month and a half of vidiates there. So much vidiates.

Plenty to go out. Pimp my ride, worst games ever got 105,000 views. Great. Holy shit. We should just redo some of these, I think, on Triple Jump. Yeah, honestly, yeah, you really should. We should just redo them. Just change who plays them.

Wonderful. Thank you so much for. listening everybody, why not leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice? It helps to do something with Al Gore's rhythms, I think, is that it? Something like that, isn't it? Five-star review, please help us out, share us around, tell your friends. We are, as we mentioned before, going to go and see Dick and Dom live, and we do have access to a VMPI, VIP, meet and greet, and we do want to bring them something weird to sign, something very strange

perhaps not necessarily as the final question but maybe those of you who are thinking of joining Pod Squad for next episode maybe you could suggest

items in your Pod Squad names for us to bring along what do you guys think of a final question though oh final question how do you keep cool because we

apparently don't have that much in the ballpark when I hear some really out there's out there bonkers stuff To die. Clever stuff. Well, we'll catch you soon, everybody.

Look after yourselves. Bye. Bye-bye.