Podiots - Podiots: Episode 102 - The Starlight Barking

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

Peter breaks hearts, Ben ventures into unfamiliar territory, and Mikey unearths the perfect Meatface accompaniment. Donate £3 or more to get a shout out and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/vidiotsofficialdiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Mikey's Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/parrotboy Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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discover the new fragrance mutine now available in Canada we've just hit the big number well we haven't yet oh you're getting ahead of the time this goes out I think we're about to it's going to happen yeah guys we're going to get

one million is there a qualifier unique download or what just just take downloads with an asterisk yeah we've got we're about to hit one million downloads asterisk for poddiards fantastic thank you everyone for listening and downloading what are you going to do

now that we're millionaires I'm going to go to the aquatic center steal a sea mammal and call him millie ray walrus fantastic fantastic long overdue as well yeah all right you guys um I'm going to take that i'm going to put that on a piece of paper got a snappy's tomato pizza and see if that qualifies me for anything i'll include a link to the youtube video it worked for um the neighbor's cat so i think it'll work for them yeah with all the work we've done for them i've emailed them before they don't reply to their emails bastards everyone's given a ring one bit that's what separates them from the neighbor's cat he at least answers his email he does the neighbor's cat does have an

active email address um let's see snapies snapie to my pizza. I'm just wondering if, because obviously there's a number of phone numbers for Snappy Tomato pizza, but they're just the local chain. Yeah. I wonder if they have a head office that I can call. Contact us. Let's see. Contacting your store. No, customer care. Hmm. Yeah, that's see. No, it doesn't look like it. Contact us. Messages are sent to Snappy's customer service team at head office. Can I call head office? They don't, aren't. sir that's the problem yeah I don't want to know us what the snappy's head office looks like

you think everyone dresses up in the suit just a big square building he used to be round no we need a USP it's so sad you look at this map there is there isn't a snappy's tomato pizza north of Wolverhampton it's quite sad there's just this

massive expanse and then there's where is it Where are you? I know there's one up. There's one in, what's it called? Elgin, Scotland, and then there's one in Aberdeen, and there's one in West Hill. I think I'm going to make a pilgrimage to Aberdeen. It's probably the closest I am to a Snappie.

It's possible, yeah. Yeah, close than Bristol. Well, Aberdeen, I don't know. You'd have to look at the map. Yeah, it's probably closer. It's about equidistant. don't have a head office, we can just take to Google Maps and just pick any old building, change it to Feldoyers, Snappy's Pizza, HQ, meat, facie.

Snappies, meet facery. Should we do that right now? Sure. Let's pick a fuck me. Google Maps. Let's, should we rename the one in Bristol? Oh my God. As the HQ, yeah? As the, yeah. As the podients, Snappies. Square Pizza Impore.

Meatface. Square pizzerie. Square pizzerie. I don't know. There's, oh, there's a snappy snaps. Oh, yeah. In Bristol's. In Bristol's. Bristols.

Let's see. So how do I edit this? Suggesting a while. Suggesting edit, that's it. There we go. Change name or other details. Oh, no, not snappies. Change the category to meat products.

Yeah, it's already on, it's already on pizza delivery, which is correct. Okay, that's fine. Yeah. Located within Poddiotz Oh no This is going to lead to a police investigation At some point

Opening date Sixth Of 2009 69 Nice Very nice Very nice Um

I could add photos I could add a photo Of Mikey can you grab the still Of Peter and I holding hands Already on it You send it to Discord And I'll put that on there So it's Snappy Tomato Pizza hyphen Bristol

And then I'm just going to add the suffix Hypen Podiat's Feld Hoyers It's Felthus, isn't it? H-E-U-S? U-E-S, yeah

U-E-S Yeah, I think so You've got to make sure I spell this right U-E-S I think Meat Facery Okay Oh, I said meat facery and my Siri woke up.

Hey, sirie. Yeah, facery sounds like I'm saying, hey Siri. No, stop. Adding meat face to your shopping place. Before you know, you've accidentally bought a franchise. I've just looked on the website, actually. They have all the information about starting a franchise right on there. Yeah, they do.

You can just do it. Can we just start a snappy's match? Yeah, if we have enough. That's what I'm going to do with my million. There's the photo. Thank you. Oh, brilliant. Save image.

Oh, God. Unable to preview. What? Open original. Let's do that. Save image to pictures. Unknown one. For just as little as 10,000 pounds we could own a snappies.

That's insane. That seems pretty reasonable, actually. It does. Yeah. You'd have to consider labor and everything else. Oh, that's a. Your menu photo has been added. No.

No. No. No, because further up it says add menu photos, and further down it says place photos. So that's not correct, Google. That's bad. Finishing photo upload. People who are Googling what to order from Snappies will now see you and me holding hands outside as an official photo uploaded by the owner of the business. I have now submitted it.

As we know, this can take some time. And sometimes it's not approved. I have Oh, well the photo's up at least Is it? Yeah Is it already? That looks so good

Hang on Wow Where does it How are you seeing that? I can't see that I've just got It opened on Google I refreshed

And it's just in Photos latest today It's Google Maps Hang on I need to see this now God That's it's perfect It's so good

Brist or see your new badge you earned it by adding photos in places i just got a phone notification it's on latest today if you scroll down to god this is awful i feel sick uh latest today i've never seen the inside i didn't know they had turf on the walls and that they did um bow buns that's do they i think they may have the wrong picture right that cannot be ours get it uh dear that's not snappies I know it's not dirty enough actually it is pretty dirty that picture the floor's not too appealing oh god well we'll have to check in on that as the podcast proceeds just in case because it got approved really fast that one time we did it before didn't it so it may well be that we come

back later on and it's all it's all done we should probably get on with the podcast yeah we thought that was a long old intro but I think a productive one well done everybody we accomplished a lot today I'm proud of us Hello everybody and welcome to Pottie It's the official Vidiates Podcast It's a conversational podcast

where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us where everybody brings Earthing Erlong to talk about I'm Ben I'm Peter and I'm

I'm Michael. Hey, guys. That felt, to me, that felt like a really unsinked thing along to toy. Yeah, that was a really bad. Difficult. Oh dear. How are you guys dealing with the weather? I know it's been particularly hot.

Actually, it's been all right. I mean, Mikey's probably had it worse than you and me, but. Yeah. Notably mild the last couple of days. I know he lost my hat in the wind earlier. That was a nightmare. no what happened just the wind but how did you get tell me the story you nearly lost it i was walking home hands filled with bags are plenty so i was unable to i had to panic i felt the gush of wind

go under my head and slightly lift my hat and as it tried to escape i panicked dropped a bag slapped it back on my head and turned it around backwards so i looked like a Pokemon trainer and that It helps with the wind resistance. Hell yeah, man. Absolutely. I'm glad you managed to keep it. Thank you. I love that hat.

It's a good hat. That's my day. That's how I'm dealing with the weather. That's a real story. Thank you, Michael. What did you go on about nearly losing a hat? Where's I going to go, Ben? I don't know.

I'm being sincere. I enjoyed that. I've got nothing to say. I'm relying on you. God, please. I've got nothing after that. That was my one story this week. I've already done my thing.

well never mind this is our conversational podcast it's not then it is it is indeed yeah and we take questions from you we all bring a thing along and we're also supported by donations and you can support us and donate

by going to streamlabs.com forward slash poddy it's donations if you donate three pounds or more you get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show and you join pod squad Mikey you're going to kick us off absolutely we be in with dildo shaggans. Can't shack it.

Caroline, the fish are dead. Oh, bless. Oh, no. Bring a bucket. And a mop for this. Wet ass blobby. Thank you for the triple whammy there. Beautiful.

Excellent. Stephen Scodes, pro trainer. And did you eat those plops? Yes, sir. Yes, we did. Also, Kevin from Con. Mr. Blobby becomes an MP. Mr. Black.

Fuck you, Freddie Weber. Sorry, Freddie Weber. Mr. Maca. Serpentico. Serpentico is in my boy stable. What's Sepentico, Ben? Is it a wrestle thing? That's a wrestle thing, yeah.

Okay. Don Echo 7. Prince Beefcakes and Ken Allen, Mr. Fatty team up when? In the afterlife. Oh, God. Finally, we have Caroline for MeatFacery CEO. Donate early to get fast crew. Your mum are so fat, finish, please.

Oh, God. Being witty is hard so boobs. Mr. Blobby marries Caroline. Caroline Blobby get divorced. Shouldn't donate pissed. One-on-one with the piss taker and Gemma the Stove. And that is your pod squad for this week. everybody. Remember streamlabs.com forward slash poddy. It's donations to get a shout out at the beginning

and the end of the show. Mikey? Are you question boy? I'm question boy. Your question boy, Peter. Did you tell me a heart attack there? I was like, oh no. I've not prepared. I've got questions. I've actually got too many questions and at some point throughout the podcast I will have to delete one or two of them, but I will pick one now to get us going. How about Do you, this is a nice one to start, do you have a physical, happy place? Like an actual place you like to visit and you feel happy.

I was born and raised in Chicago for the first 12 years of my life and we moved to a small town not far from it, comma, close. Now I'm 32 and going back puts a smile on my face. Kay, love you by. That was from Paul at Paul Zaremba 16

on Twitter. That's a nice question. Do you guys have a happy place you like to go, a physical one? that you actually like to visit. It doesn't have to be exotic. It could be just, you know, the local park or... Snappies.

Snappies. Snaffies. There's a hairless. Yeah, I've got one. Yeah. I think my grandparents' house that they've always lived in for as long as I've been alive and the place is being sold this year potentially. So I'm going to have to go on one last pilgrimage all the way.

down south to go and see it for the last time but they've got a big old garden and we used to you know we we we grew up there visiting all my cousins and stuff and playing in the garden and making dens in the stinging nettles and stuff proper enid blight and shit you know yeah um told that we can't play on our game boys because we've been doing that all day and then being told we need to go outside and then sneaking outside with our game boys and hiding and playing in the in the nettles in our nettle den so yeah probably probably there my my grandparents house that's my answer exactly ben as well like they like my grandparents your grandparents house in your nettle den um i i'm a couple of years ahead of you on that that adventure that narrative in that

my grandparents did sell their house that they lived in for 50 years a few years back but it's still like just even just the area like going because it was kind of out in the country so even if I go on like in you know in in the fields around their house and on the footpaths and stuff it's still close enough that it still makes me feel you know I guess obviously there's like a nostalgic thing to it but it's not even that it is just like you can kind of you can kind of just breathe somewhere like that I think you kind of forget about what's what's troubling you in your day to day life And as much as we played in the garden and in the house, we, you know, we played in all the fields around there anyway. So, yeah, even though they've sold the place, it's nice to still just go to the area.

Yeah, we did the same thing. We used to build dens and climb trees and stuff like that. So, yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say. I feel stupid saying mine now. Snappy. The sink where you had that death hole bath. The smell it takes me. back. I still climb in sometimes. Just to remind me of the good old days.

Mine's a little route from my parents' house to the local Morrisons, which sounds silly, but the route would take you through, like, the nice little village where I grew up. It's all lovely and quaint, and it's just never really changed over the last 20 or years. Then you go through a nice little park, surrounded by fields, and you emerge from the park, and you're greeted buy the entire coastline of Sunderland and it's a little walk up to Morrison's this is a good little end point it's just a walk I've done many many a time

it's very nice, it's very quiet that's always the thing that freaks me out about it going from Bristol to home is like God it's weirdly quiet here except for the sound of waves and sea eagles that's lovely oh isn't that nice

well that's a nice way to start the podcast I can really sort of try and bring us down slightly with my thing, if you like. Peter, please. Yeah. If anything, I feel too happy right now, could you emotionally devastate me? Yeah, I'd love to. I've got a story here from The Daily Mirror that I just thought it sort of made me laugh,

even though it shouldn't have done. So I thought I'd bring it along and share it with you guys. Okay. It's not, there's not like much, even of a kind of a twist to it or an interesting thing, but it's just, well, I'll read you the headline. Teacher leaves student in tears after she realizes dog didn't go to live on a farm. Oh, no.

A computer science teacher has taken to Reddit to explain how she accidentally made her student realize her dog didn't actually go live on a farm and her parents just used it as an excuse after having the dog put down. This is written by Page Freshwater. Oh, nice. Excellent name.

So Paige says the following. A teacher caused her student to burst into tears after realizing her parents didn't actually send her dog to live on a farm. The computer science teacher was taking a class of 10 to 11 year olds when she changed up her lesson plan stating her original idea went to live on a farm. Wondering why she used this phrase, one girl named Chloe told her teacher that her terrier was sent to Wisconsin to help out a farmer with his day-to-day work. But without missing a beat, her friend Lina quickly put her right.

Oh, so it wasn't even the teacher. It was a student. Yeah, so that's a summary of it. Now, of course, in the interest of padding out the article, we basically rehash the story. But it's a bit more interesting with detail, I think. So speaking to Reddit, the American teacher said, We spent about a week working with a piece of software that had been problematic for us from the start. Lots of weird server hang-ups and failed updates. Now got to scroll past four ads. All of them dog-related. The algorithm is doing its work. Okay, so questioning the change, Chloe asked the teacher, wait, this isn't that other software. Why aren't we going to do that anymore? To which the teacher responded, no, that project went to live on a farm in Wisconsin. We're doing

something new now. Chloe followed up with. Before we moved, my dog went to live on a farm in Wisconsin. Is that the American variation then, that they go to Wisconsin specifically? In Wisconsin specifically, yeah, seemingly. Explaining how Chloe can quickly lose interest in what she's working on, she said, the teacher said, Chloe is one of the sweetest kids I've taught. She's always bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, a talented artist who has a lot of compassion for the people around her. She's also a massive space cadet who needs to be constantly brought back on track with whatever is happening around her. And when describing her friend, who she sits next to in class, she added, Lina is blisteringly intelligent and well accomplished for her age, with a sense of importance

that goes along with being a semi-prodigy at age 10. Oh, I don't know why. These words that make me feel like this is like a slight a slighted-hand way of saying the child's a bit of a twat, but... Yeah, I mean, surely not using the real names, right, as well? Well, I hope so, yeah. Linner's clearly not that intelligent if you didn't realize that maybe the girl sitting next to her

was, you know, blissfully unaware of what happened. But the quote continues by the teacher, still talking about Linna, she became a Karen in utero, comes from a mighty line of carons, and she'll one day walk among them as their queen. Wow, I mean even if you feel like that That's that's like it's not going to be hard

To now it's gone viral for her to be tracked down Like the teacher's real identity Yeah Yeah, for sure Because the parent will know If their child Comes home from, you know School very upset because they worked out

That their dog is actually dead Yeah God this is they get fired for this After over hearing Chloe explain how her dog is now living on a farm, Lina didn't spare a moment to set her straight, saying, Parents say that when your dog dies.

Your dog is dead, Chloe. With that, Chloe... Chloe burst into tears in the middle of class. The teacher added, I felt so bad that I emailed mom to give her a heads up that she might have a sad kid on her hands after school. Her mom replied that the dog was a little terrier

and not very well trained. It bolted from her car in a parking lot after she'd taken it for a pre-travel vaccination. It was hit by another car and died on the spot. Oh my God. They're going to tell her a slightly less graphic version of the story, says the teacher. While most users shared a thought for Chloe,

others couldn't help but laugh at the teacher's unfortunate situation. One user said, I feel bad for laughing, but I'm just imagining the faces of 30 kids being crushed at once. Another user added, When I was about 10, my grandparents moved to a different state. They told my siblings and I that their dog, Queenie, went to live at a farm. Well, into my teen years, I asked my grandma to clarify.

I point blank asked her if they put the dog down. She got offended and told me the dog went to live with some friends from their church. It was awkward. A third user said, my grandparents who live on a lovely farm in Canada once adopted their friend's elderly dog when they couldn't take care of her anymore. She lived a few more years,

getting showered with love, running around free and going on outdoor adventures. I wonder how it would sound when their friends describe what happened, especially if they have kids since the fantasy was true here. That's the end of the article. This happened to my brother actually

when we were like, so we had a dog when I was, I think maybe seven or eight and she bit a couple of people she was really protective of me and my siblings I've a younger sister so my sister was probably only like maybe five or something and the dog was apparently a bit protective only when the kids were around

and she bit the woman over the road had a cleaner and she bit the cleaner once and then she bit the postman on a separate occasion and at that point I think my parents thought we can't have this dog buy people. So they told us it went to live on a farm. We lived in the middle of the countryside, so that seemed a bit far-fetched.

But I think at the time, I believed it. And then, you know, I eventually realized over time the dog was not sent to live on a farm. But, like, years later, when I was probably like, I think my brother must have been about 15 or something like that. And I think one of us said in passing, when we were with my uncle I said something like

oh yeah like when Molly Molly got put down didn't she you know she got put down because she bit people and my brother went what no she didn't she got sent to live on a farm because she'd been biting people and they had to like get her and then my uncle went no she didn't she got put down and it's just really brutal

just tore that that plaster right off Jesus you just reminded me of one of my early pets death I had two fish, fittingly, called Dick and Dom. Oh, God's sake. Why have we never heard about Dick and Dom? Oh, I just remembered them at this moment.

But I don't know if this is, I can't. It's quite a while ago, so I can't quite remember. But I think this was my first encounter with pet death. My parents were very upfront about it and just said, oh, look, either Dick or Dom is dead. And so I, for some reason, decided to keep that fish in a little tin rather than dispose of it. Michael. I think it lasted in that tin for about two days

before we got really smelly and I flushed it and the toilet so that was my wonderful send-off to let's just say Dick it was Dick that got flushed Dick and Dom into toilet bowl Yeah very good It's it's very tricky though around kids Like turns of Turn of phrases and things that as an adult it's absolutely fine

But it can there's mishaps are very easy Yeah that teacher was just saying it as a Yeah, it's just a euphemism. To coin a phrase, yeah, yeah. I once helped out at a, like, beavers that's part of scouts in the UK. I don't know if it's different in other countries, but beavers is, you know, very young children are in beavers, and then it's cubs and then it's scouts. And I once helped out and looked after the bea's, one like beaver session, which sounds filthy. Yeah, it does, doesn't it?

And we were running around like in the park connected to the scout hut and there was, I can't remember what caused me to say this, but I was with one of the children and I said something like, oh, you know, well, we're all, it sounds, there's no way I can say this where it's going to sound good, right? But I promise that there was important context that made it okay. like they made it make a bit more sense and that was that hey you know we're all going to be eaten by worms anyway

and this kid was like what and then I realized ah he doesn't know what death is yet maybe maybe just stop the conversation here and I said oh it doesn't matter and then just moved on

and he just went about his day happy as Larry but it's so easy to do something just that you do not think about at all and it's quite a foundational moment, isn't it? That's like a big shift in who you are as a person. Yeah. He just doesn't know what happens when people

die. Yeah. Oh, God. I have many uncles, which is why a lot of my anecdotes begin with. My uncle did this. It's not always the same uncle, I'm afraid. That would be really exciting if it was. But I've got one uncle who's really just,

I don't know, he's a bit away with the fairies. I don't mean that in a medical sense. Like, I'm not trying to just be rude about a guy with issues, but he's just kind of of accident prone and kind of, I don't know, he's just a, he's a silly man, really. And we were away on holiday once when I was like seven or something, and we had some goldfish, and we asked if he would just nip around and feed the fish because we were away for like a week and a half or two weeks.

So as a kind of a shortcut, what he did was the first time he went there, he went through the front door and he went all the way through the house and up the stairs to where the fish were and so what he decided to do was to bring the fish tank downstairs and put it like by the near the front door so he could just quickly nip in every day put the fish food in so he didn't have to keep going all the way up through the house a bit lazy maybe but anyway he did that what he didn't realize was that he had put them on a window sill that was right above a radiator um oh and it being the middle of winter we had the heating going on for like an hour a day to keep the pipes moving So the fish died

They were sort of boiled to death Or maybe the sun got them I don't know if maybe they got really hot In the direct sunlight Probably not, but I don't know They died And weirdly, I don't know What his plan was here

But I swear this is what he did I can't begin to imagine why But I think maybe what he'd done Was he flushed them down the toilet Because he was like, oh well they're dead And then he probably thought Oh no, the kids might be really sad

that they didn't at least get to say goodbye to the fish. So what he did was, he got a vegetable peeler like a carrot peeler or potato peeler and he put three peelings of carrot in the bottom of the fish

tab. What the fuck? As though they were dead fish. So he wasn't trying to save us from the mortality of the issue. He just thought you'd like to see them. He just thought we'd want to to see them and not realize that it was slices of carrot in there.

And my sister, who, as I say, is younger than me and was probably five years old, came through the door and said, does carrot on that in the fish tank? Where are the fish? I don't know what the plan was. I really don't understand the logic there, but that did happen. That's quite ingenious, though. I kind of respect it because it's very out there. But Jesus Christ, yeah, what was the trail of thought there?

Yeah. Bizarre. Jesus. When fish get very old, they turn to carrots. Yes, they do. That's where carrots come from. All the dead fish. Yeah.

On the subject of... Thank you for your thing, Peter. You're very welcome. I hope you enjoyed it. We're all sufficiently brought down now by talk of dead pets. On the subject of animals, I've got a question here from Callum Story at Callum Story 1 on Twitter, who says, if you had to be killed by an animal, which would you choose? oh i guess you go for efficiency or flare that's the the main crux yeah would you want to at least

go down in a blaze of glory and maybe be sort of famous or you know have have news stories written about you or would you just want something that's going to kill you instantly maybe a famous animal maybe like a famous kind of harmless animal just to like shock the world that could be fun or maybe ken allen i'd like to be be killed by Ken Allen. Ken Allen. Yeah, what a way to go. You got in his way

and during an escape and he doesn't take any stabs at that point. Shibd him the way out. He's posed for a photo beforehand. Yes, as it's happening. For context,

Ken Allen is from the previous episode of body. If you've not listened, go listen. What was the name of that dog that got killed and abducted by the psycho seagull? Oh, God.

I always forget this. Dog. Oh, it's something cute. Oh, what was it called? Come on, where is it? Gizmo, was it? Gizmo, that's the one. I want to be killed by Gizmo

because then we can totally change the narrative and the Seagull is the hero who took out the murderer. Gizmo. I like it. Yeah, maybe the Seagull drops Gizmo on to you and it's because it was used as a murder weapon. Or if you were killed by the Psycho Segal, which I guess canonically is also the one that abused Dave Benson Phillips,

if the Psycho Segal ate you, it could shit and vomit you all over Dave Benson Phillips' car, which is an interesting way to go. Yeah, it could. Oh, wow. Yeah, the circle of life continues. You could be liquefied and just left all over Dave's car. He wanted to be left out of it, and now we're left all over. him yeah i think purely just to feed headlines for news articles across the world i want to be

murdered by a crow um a murder of crows or yeah crows yeah all the tabloids they'd love it that's that's my blazer glory is um have being in a tabloids for one day and then forgotten about entirely yeah that's how i want to go love it amazing who's got a thing um i have a thing and also i was just going to give a quick update on Snappies. Since tweeting out the photo of us on the page for the Google listing, Connor Bennett has now added a photo of Dave Benton-Philip in a, Phillips in a ball pit. So that's on there. Oh, good.

So that's good. And Google is currently reviewing your suggestion, Snappy Tomato Pizza, Bristol, Podiotts, Feld Hoyer's meat facery. as the name I can't see if they've approved the opening date yet but that is currently still in flux we'll have to wait and see what goes on that by the time the episode comes out

it may have all been approved go and have a look right now listener yeah go check it out it's probably not going to be but you know it's happened before so good good we've all seen Moana haven't we the wonderful

Pixar I've not we've all seen Moana we've all seen Moana we've all seen Moana and we all love Big Dwayne don't we the rock

yeah boy rock we love him and he didn't he do a great job voicing Maui you know with his song what can I say except you're welcome that one

yeah from Moana from Moana our favorite film that we've all seen I saw a tweet going around a little while ago now and I bookmarked it

at the time someone was doing a little bit more research into Maui after watching Moana and there's a section on Wikipedia about Maui's death that's particularly interesting. So I decided to bring that as my thing so we could talk about it just a little bit. So a bit of context about who Maui is, even though we're all big fans of Moana and we've seen it and we know what his deal is. Maui is the, and then it says in brackets, Maui, is the great culture hero and trickster in Polynesian mythology. Very rarely was Maui actually worshipped, being less of a deity and more of a folk hero. His origins vary from

culture to culture, but many of his main exploits remain relatively similar. Tales of Maui's exploits and adventures are told throughout most of Polynesia. They can be traced back, sorry, as far west as islands off New Guinea. Some exploits common to most Polynesian traditions are stealing fire for humans from the underworld, fishing up islands with his magical hook and capturing the sun to lengthen the days. There is a great deal of variation in the representations of Maui from nation to nation, from being a handsome young man to being an old, wise, wandering priest. Although Maui was said to be very rascally, or Kolohe, I think, many of his deeds were to better the lives of his fellow people. He was respected throughout most cultures of the

Pacific and is still famous to this day. So, to recap, Maui created Hawaii, he stole fire from the underworld he made birds that were previously invisible visible so before Maui there were birds but no one could see them he tamed the sun I know he tamed the sun

and he once pulled up a giant fish that would become the North Island of New Zealand but we're going to talk about his death so this is also from Wikipedia his last trick which led to his death involved the goddess

Hine Nui Tepo, I think. In an attempt to make mankind immortal, he changed into a worm, and Maui entered her vagina, intending to lead through her mouth while she slept. Okay. But he was crushed by the obsidian teeth in her vagina, and he died. Right. And that's how the legend of Maui ends,

voiced brilliantly by Dwayne the Rock Johnson in the Moana film. it was a deleted scene. It's on the Blu-ray. You have to go and have to spend more for that bit. So there's frustratingly little context to that death. So I looked into it a little bit further. And I found, I'll say it right now. A very abridged and truncated version of events.

And also, I want to stress that I am not trying to make light of several people's mythology. But I just want to share this fascinating end to a folk hero with you. So I went to amino apps.com forward slash C, forward slash mythology to learn more, which is where we all go to learn more about mythology. And it says, because of a mistake during his blessing by his parents, like Achilles, he was only partially immortal. And so, in his infinite wisdom, decided to not only get immortality for himself, sorry, but for humans as well. But the only way was to enter the goddess of death. He neue teppo through her vagina and out her mouth. The reversal of birth.

See? So it's immortal, right? Yeah, that's how babies happen. You eat a baby and then you give birth to it. That's how babies are born. That is what I understand. Yeah. That is what I understand. With his friends, the forest animals, and specifically the birds, it says, he shape shifted into a worm.

Well, they owe him, don't they? They do. Yeah. They were being ignored all these years and they didn't understand why. After telling all of the animals to not make a noise, he then began to enter, he named, Nui Tepo through her vagina. The Pihuacca, hang on, the native fan tale species, this is a bird that he's made visible, began to twitter and make noise, awaking the sleeping goddess, and instantly she squished the worm

with her thighs, causing Maui's death, and the death, it says, of all humans, which doesn't seem right, but that is what it says there. No, I don't think in that moment, but I think it sealed the fate of our face. of them to not have, yeah, not be immortal. Okay, that makes a bit more sense. But there we are. A little bit of a tidbit of what happened to everyone's favorite demigod

from everyone's favorite Pixar animated movie, Moana. He got killed in a giant vagina. Well, if you're going to go somehow, you know, go doing what you love, I guess. Right. It makes a wonderful basis for a children's film as well, I think. It does. It does.

I can't wait for Moana too. yeah Moana harder oh it's weird I nearly brought along a thing today about Dwayne the Rock Johnson

did you we could have had a double bill a double we would have but I'm going to do it next week instead I was trying to verify whether I was reading what I was reading

was actually true because it just sounded made up but it is true and I'll bring it next week oh amazing I can't wait Mawanna get immortality for the humans Sorry, this has been in my head for like the last minute I need to get it out

It would be a double bill, it would be a rubble bill It's the rock Okay Oh I see Thanks man Thanks I can't believe you interrupted my bad joke for your bad joke I had to get it out Ben

Go on what's yours No I did it already Oh sorry It was so bad it doesn't bear repeating It's done Oh sorry it got so swept up in my own that I've discredited yours. I'm sorry, Ben. No, it's all right. No, it deserved to be discredited.

Peter, do you have another... Do you want to hop in on this? This Dwayne train? What was the name of the bird that was like making a noise? It was, of course, the Piawaka Waka. No, I... Who wants to hear a joke? I'm trying.

No, okay. Pouaca, whack. A bit of Muppets humor. Pillwaka butt loaded. Hang on, here we go. Ready? Mm-hmm. Ready?

Pilwaka wakadiz nuts all over your face. Oh, got him. Yeah. Sick. Good. Excellent. Just pleased with that. Well, I think that was a resounding success for that thing.

Well done me. Question? Question. Thank you, Ben. Yes, please. Oh, my God. My computer. Oh, hello.

Okay, wow. I tried to switch to the document when my questions were, and it was like, hmm, I don't know. I'm going to do the scary loading ring animation on your cursor, just to really make you terrified. Got questions here. One from Lexi at Simply Lexi 1 on Twitter, who says,

in what fictional world would you like to live or go on a vacation? oh okay oh that's a good one isn't it we've done we've done a think we've been asked this about where would you time travel to or you know things like that but I don't know if we've done this can go just just for a trip or you can go there to live forever fictional worlds problem is by definition most fictional worlds have some kind of high-stakes conflict going on. I guess not all of them, but most of them do. I guess if you wanted a really chill time

where you're going to be in relative paradise, you would maybe have to pick perhaps like something aimed at very young children, but not too young, because then it's kind of creepy because there's all, you know, there's sort of weird, happy, anthropomorphic strange creatures running around or whatever.

Like, I would hate to live in Teletubby land, for example. You know, there's not, there are a lot of issues there. You know, mostly it's just Nunu ate the Tubby Toast again, but you have to live with Teletubby, so that's pretty bad. But maybe, I'd quite like to live somewhere in, to sort of go back to our nice time building dens in our grandparents' gardens, or maybe live in a kind of a, needed blighton world where all you really have to worry about is whether you're going to be home in time for tea or possibly you know the the smugglers at smugglers cove or something like that

but for the most part you're going to be all right you're going to have a nice time or you could maybe take it slightly more idyllic from there slightly lower stakes even lower stakes if you lived in like um say like like beatrix potter world or something where even um I mean, that's even... What James Corden is there? Oh, no, not that one, not the modern one. The sort of hand-drawn, animated one, I think, or the books. But then, even then, you know, you've got big scary fox boys running around who are going to eat you.

So perhaps that's not the place to live either. But something like that, I think. Yeah, very pleasant way. You sit in a field and you eat jam sandwiches every one. Exactly, yeah. It'd probably drive you mad after a while, but, you know, at least temporarily. it'll be a nice little holiday. Yeah, for a little short break.

Why not? I'm erring towards is the first one that came to me and it's the only one that's stuck. But the universe of Wallace and Gromit, but in particular, during a grand day out, because Wallace and Gromit gets a bit too,

like the mild peril is no longer mild by, as the films go on. In a grand day out, all of the day and, is it's situated on the moon and I just think I mean the world they live in

they've got crack they've got good crackers and they've got good cheese I'm happy with that and I think it'd be quite fun to live near a wacky inventor who's built a rocket ship and just see what the fallout is for that

in the village as news reports flood in the next day of local bald man's garden opening up and spitting out a rocket and it'd be quite fun to just sit back and watch that yeah because even if you do go to the moon If you find yourself, you know, if your wish gets corrupted by your genie and you get sent to the moon rather than West Wallaby Street, like they can breathe up there.

The moon rock actually looks kind of tasty, like the cheese, the moon cheese looks really delicious. They looked like they were doing all right, to be honest. I know the, I know that Cooker looked slightly threatening, but he just wanted to go home, really. He did. He wanted to go skiing. I've never been more terrified as I was when that cooker starts waving angrily after them and coming down the hill

even though he's just trying to get with the music as well. Yeah, it's really scary. It's just that image of it holding the trunch in as well. It's, oh, I don't know, it is a really horrible scene. Yeah, the truncheon's pretty bad actually, yeah. But yeah, on earth in the Wallace and Gromit world would be nice. Yeah, Walson Gromit adjacent, yeah. Lovely.

If there wasn't an inherent threat of danger and I couldn't die, maybe like wreck it Ralph Land, where you're just walking around and you can see all these cool stuff going on, you know? That's a good shout. I like that. Alternatively, Hobbiton from Lord of the Rings, which of course doesn't actually exist in real life in any sense. So, yeah, completely fictional, and you cannot visit it.

So just something like that. But that as an actual, alive, bustling place where everyone's just, the most danger they face is just people just petty in fighting. But at the end of the day, everyone gets pissed together and eats too much food. And listens to good music. You know, and that sounds kind of nice, doesn't it? Well, because even, like, in the Lord of the Rings films, it never really went south.

at Hobbiton. I know everything else, but, you know, it was pretty spooky elsewhere with all your ring wraiths riding around and stuff. But, like, I think the closest thing that happened there is one of the ring wraiths went to like a nearby. Yeah, one of the hobbits. It asks one of them for like directions, doesn't it? Bagfoots or whatever the hell they're called. Yeah, but that's basically it. You know, I think they, the hobbits just have a great time for the entire trilogy. They don't even know what's going on elsewhere. They're so sheltered. Yeah. I'd love to be there. That'll be a fun resort to set up where you just, you arrive and it's all built up like Hobarton, take your shoes off, you hand you a cask of mead and some change. They hand you some

crocs, but they're flesh coloured and they have furry toes. Brilliant. All inclusive, yeah? Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wonderful. Well, it's time for a thing. I, it's my, it is my goal, so I will present my thing. It is my thing. I come with a landmark piece of local journalism This is from the mirror And the headline reads I'd actually be able to the mirror It's ever clearly the epicenter of all culture of Britain

The headline for this article reads Woman keeps smiling potato in the freezer For five years because it looks quote-unquote friendly Oh no It's the carb-based side dish to meet face. Potato face. Just one potato smiley to share.

It's where they come from, the potato smileys. This is the mothership, the hive mind. This is another contender for the face. The friendly face alliance. Oh, God, I had a word there, but I've lost it. Oh, well.

It's another item of food with a face on it. The friendly facery. Friendly facery. That's it. Thank you. There we go. That's good. That's a good brand name, actually.

all foods but with faces on it every every food anyway anyway uh i'm a big fan this person's name laurie bricks good strong name has been keeping a friendly potato in her freezer for five years after she refused to cook it cook with it because the spud looks as though it's smiling at her i am going to very quickly send a picture of the spudding question and i'll describe it for you at home I thought it was a potato smiley, not a potato with a smiley face on it. Oh no, I knew, yeah, I'd worked out that it was a potato, but didn't think it would look like that. That does not look friendly. No, it's, it's, it is quite horrifying.

It reminds me quite vividly of fungus, the borgie man in a lot of whiz. It's a lovely round potato, I must say, with two perfectly circular eyes and then just a little, kind of dot for the nose and a really evil looking mild grin. You can kind of picture what a potato with a face looks like. The article continues, the potato features clearly defined eyes, nostrils and a smiling mouth. And Laurie and her husband, Michael Bricks, have even decided to name the cheery carb, Pete. Okay. And after sparing the spud, Laurie and Michael also threw through together an impromptu photo shoot featuring pictures of Pete reclining in a chair, sitting at a dinner table, and watching TV.

You got those photos for us, Michael? Unfortunately, I don't have them. I did have to do a quick search for them. They must be out there somewhere. I can't believe they're not included in the article. Ben, maybe someone, if maybe you could have a hunt for those. I'm going to give you the article, just as a source material. I'd love to see those.

I'm giving you some work. five years later 51 year old lorry recently unearthed pete from his chilly new home and found the potato is now sporting new additions including an ice beard and sprout feet and five years on pete is looking just absolutely abhorrent and really needs to be put out of his misery five years it's it's not even it doesn't even resemble the smiley potato he once was at this point he's he's disheveled discoloured, yeah, riddled with ice. Is it worth it? I mean, I guess, you know, he doesn't take up much room, so it's not like a massive inconvenience,

but who sees that sitting in the bottom of the freezer drawer? Like, oh yeah, that's that smiley potato that I kept and thinks, yep, yep, going to leave that in there another year? Yep, I'm going to leave that there. Surely at that point, they've got the use out of it. They've had the photo shoot. He's not the beautiful young man he once was. But Laurie from Parker, Colorado, US,

said she won't be chucking the spud away anytime soon, as she wants to keep Pete for another five years so that she can do another photo shoot that will mark her decades since she found her. I wish I had these kind of long-term goals. She said, I found

him five years ago in a bag of potatoes from the supermarket. I was pulling them out to make hash browns for breakfast and spotted his little face smiling back at me. I couldn't turn him into a hash brown because he was just so friendly, looking. He just made me laugh so hard. I couldn't throw him away or eat him. I remember thinking

it would be a shame to get rid of him. This is a line of the article. I named him Pete because I thought he just looked like a Pete. Fantastic. I'm going to say it. Lorry Bricks is fucking insane. The husband's going along with this as well. So this is the perfect couple. Yeah. It might have been a couple of glasses of wine later on that evening that inspired me to do the photo shoot. I just thought, we've got to take some pictures of him, and I wanted to make them exciting. I had a childhood dollhouse with some cute furniture, and I used them. I really need these pictures.

I can't find them. There's a few places that have... Yeah, she might have just said that she did it. I don't know why they haven't gone anywhere. All I can find are a couple of other reposts of this story, including one that appears to have been translated into a different language and then back into English. Oh, good.

I should have brought that one. Lorry got the idea to keep the potatoes in the fridge from Laurie's sister. Laurie also did a photo shoot with these potatoes. Lori, 51, was reminded of Pete the other day. Laurie immediately pulls him out and prepares for the next photo shoot. Pete is still sitting there with that smiling face. Pete has a beard and legs. Also watch, an uncontrolled long.

Laurie crashed into a house. Oh, was it, was it Laurie Bricks? I've absolutely no idea. Oh, that's good, that's good. They're all using the same photos, though. I can't find it. Oh, that's a shame. Can't find it.

After we've done recording, I'll see if I can find them and chucking on my friend. Because they've been talked up so much. They have to exist. But it sounds out it's not just Laurie and Michael here a bit different. Also, the rest of the family, encouraged this act I got the idea to freeze him

from my sister she had a cake with a celebrity on it from when she was young and she froze that and took it everywhere we went

because she loved it so much I was like I could freeze him took it everywhere we went I see this is insanity

oh we've forgotten the George Michael cake put him in his ice box bring him out oh dear after remembering

Pete was in cold storage last month. A Laurie decided to throw a second photo shoot in which she gave the potato a tiny Stetson. Sorry, what's a Stetson? Cowboy hat. Yeah, Stetson. Oh, is that one they called Stetson? Oh, yeah.

Oh, cute. We gave him a tiny Stetson and set him up so he looked as though he was fishing in a puddle. Aw. She added, I wanted to check on him, and he's doing great. Is he? Is he? Okay. He's still smiling and is still happy.

He's got some frosting around the chin. He's anging well. He's also grown some little feet. I think those are sprouts. He looks like he's got a little winkle-picker shoes on. The whimsical language in this article. Oh. Yeah.

Winkle-picker shoes for reference are pointy shoes. I'm surprised that potatoes will sprout new little potato buds when they're in a freezer. That's news to me. Hardy. Pizza fighter. I took more photos and then put him back in the freezer. I'll get him out in five years' time to mark a decade of him being with us.

Laurie has since shared some photos from the shoot on social media and has racked up more than 2,000 like, shares and comments on her posts. They are out there. She said, I didn't realize how happy he was going to make people. I think everybody needs something silly right now. And I think it hit the spot with everyone. People were saying it had made their day. And that made me happy.

and delighted social media users were thrilled by the snaps. One person said, just knowing there are people out in the world who do this makes my heart happy, while another added, this is kind of weird, thank you for this true blessing. And that's the tale of Pete. Incredible.

What a tale. Destined to spend the rest of his life in a cool chamber, never seeing natural daylight until he's forced out at retirement and made to put on little outfits and pose like he's fishing. What a nightmarish existence for this poor man. What if, heaven forbid, something horrible happens to the Bricks family and he's forgotten about and he's left in the freezer for forever? Oh, no.

Don't even say that. Imagine being like the next family that move in, you find the potato in the freezer. Would you even acknowledge it? I had a face. We just go, what was that doing? Let's put in the bin. I'd sell it. I'd sell the house.

Move out. Fuck, yeah. Freezers is haunted. This place is haunted by per piece. Oh, yes. That's my thing. What a delight. Wonderful.

Thank you, Michael. Thank you, Mikey. You're welcome. I've got a final question here. It might be a short one, if my answer is to anything to go by. Tommy the Wank Engine at Trigley-Serite says, Do you all have any allergies? And if so, have you had any bad allergic,

reactions. I don't have any allergies as far as I'm aware. I've got hay fever, which I think technically is, you know, an allergic reaction to pollen, but I don't have any, you know, interesting ones. I don't have any allergies either. I did used to be a bit allergic to orange juice at least as a kid. Oh, yeah. I don't know if I was actually allergic to it, but whenever I drank, Sunny D was the main offender, which is maybe more speaks to the chemicals than that drink than anything else, but it would just whenever I drank it I'd break out in hives Oh no, Jesus

I kept trying it again again as a kid and every time it just fought back and then years later I thought maybe now's the time maybe now I can enjoy Sunny D and it was fine I had no reaction,

never had a reaction since not that I regularly drink it but that's a transformation story for you. You two can overcome your inability to process certain things. Excellent. Amazing. The allergies, Ben?

Nope. no allergies I I can't use fairy washing up liquid because it really irritates the skin on my hands so I have to use

not that I have an issue with this because it's cheaper I have to use supermarket's own because it's diluted and it's not as strong but I wouldn't say that's an allergic reaction necessarily but it really

yeah really really hurts my hands I don't know what counts as allergies or not but I have to use non-biological washing powder. If I wash anything in bio, I get a bit itchy. But, I mean, literally just a bit itchy. I don't get like hives or anything.

But the worst thing is, if it's just like some clothes I'm wearing for the day, then I'll be a bit uncomfortable for the day. But if I'm staying somewhere for a week or whatever and they've used bio washing powder on their bedding and I've got to sleep in it for like five nights, That's not. That's not good. Yeah. Wow. Well, there you go. No is basically the answer. No. No. We're all healthy as fuck.

Yeah. Yes. Boy. Yeah. Well. Is that everything then? Yeah. That's it. Excellent. Thank you so much for sending in your questions, everybody. And thank you, boys, for your things. Michael. Is there a store? Oh my God is there

and ladies and gentlemen I would like to formally announce although we've heard this elsewhere at this point there is new merch on this very store that has the address of store.org'scast.com if you head over there right now you'll find as well as the classic collection of video hits

all the finest videos videos hits you'll find a new delightful is a word of describing its shirt depicting everyone's favorite video's moment where Ben said it is beans time during the worst cooking ever video it is go buy that now chuck it in your basket maybe treat yourself to something else as well the mug would go great with your beans time t-shirt

may I recommend that pairing go check it out give it a look give it a buy wear it on your body and get lots of compliments I'm sure that's store.orgscast.com. Fantastic. Go and ever, though. Fantastic.

It's excellent. It's an excellent Mikey original artwork. It's really good stuff. I toiled for that, over that thing for hours. Please buy one. That's my sales pitch. Go and get it now. We're also available on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com, forward slash video.

Video, official. Bit.ly, forward slash. Vidyat's official Discord, if you want to go say hello to some people on there. Twitch.tv.tv.com slash Vidiates official as well. And remember streamlabs.com forward slash poddiot's donations. Donate three pounds. There, three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning. And the end of the show and join Pod Squad. Mikey, kick us off once more, please.

Dildo Shaggins. Can't shack it. Caroline, the fish are dead. That was relevant. Hey. Bring a bucket and a mop for this. ass blobby, Stephen Scores, pro-trainer, and did you eat those plops? I've just realised, I think you were right that bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass blobby are three that all go together, but it works the other way. Caroline, the fish are dead, bring a bucket and a mop for this.

It does. Oh, that's brilliant. Anyway, Kevin from Con, Mr. Blobby becomes an MP, Mr Black. Fuck you, Freddie Weber. Sorry, Freddie Weber. Mr. Macca. Sir Pentico, was it? Sir Pentico. Sir Pentico is in my boy stable. Don Aco 7.

Prince Beefcakes and Ken Allen, Mr. Fatti, team up when? God, the way you say that makes it sound like there's another one. Well, it's because I know that you're going to lead on. So I don't want to say, and Ken Allen, Mr. Fatti, team up when? As though that's the end of all of the things. So I inflect upwards so that you can then pick it up. Okay, I'm ready. Can you cue me in again? I'm ready now. Yep. And Ken Allen, Mr. Fatti, team up when?

Caroline for Meatfacery CEO. Donate early to get fast crew. Your mum are so fat, finishples. Being witty is hard so boobs. Mr. Blobby marries Caroline. Caroline Blobby get divorced. Shouldn't donate pissed? One-on-one with the piss taker and Gemma the stove? stove yeah anyone no that's it that's it

that's the end thank you so much all of you for supporting us and joining the pod squad for this week three pounds or more streamlabs.com

forward slash podiots do donations well I suppose what we should ask now is what's out on videos this week

so we have got coming out this week prove it pass bar to the starving artist live action challenge creating our citizen Cain, you're in the movies.

Memory cards for June 25th, Day of the Tenticle. Nine, Nintendo, Power, and Banjo, Kazoo. Nineteen, though. Nine. Pottie's episode, nine, devastated. Post some tap number 19. Miley's biggest fans. Worst games ever game selection for the 28th of June.

That's today at time of recording. How exciting. Happy anniversary, that video. Worst Games ever, Shrek Treasure Hunt, then Vidiot's Channel Update. But that's Worst Games Ever now Weekly. Oh, that was the good update. Yeah.

Warrior Wear on steroids, hyphen bishi-bashi special. A troubling start. Vanilla Minecraft Episode 1. Oh, fuck it. We're doing a Minecraft series. We're doing a Minecraft series. Post some tat number 20, Billy Raid Ball us and finally this week

Noob versus Pro Quake 3 Arena Challenge that went well didn't it Mikey? I don't like to talk about that video thank you oh dear what a week what an incredible week hey Mikey where you at

at Parrot Boy on Twitter best place to keep up all my comments are going sometime stream on Twitch hopefully get back to that soon go check it out cheers Peter, where are we? We are at Team Triple Jump as a twosome but also with other people

such as our co-presenter Ashton and some excellent writers and editors but we are also separate on the internet at Confused underscore Dude and at that Peter Austin on Twitter I'm also on Instagram come and have a look at us as individuals and as a team

Did you see the image I put in the chat? Oh no I didn't I was too busy reading. I saw it come. I saw the alert. It's quite distracting. Oh, wow. Bloody brilliant.

I'm just looking through their Facebook page. There's one photo of a really badly Photoshop slice of pizza going into a hippo's mouth, advertising their large meal deal, which has 10 likes. And then there's a brilliant one for her majesty's, celebrating 70 years of her majesty's loyal and devoted service to our country, hip, hip, hooray. Snappy delivers for your street or garden party. celebrate with our huge 24-inch beast party pizza feeds 10 to 12. I like that the hippo image has a watermark on it that says copyright www. It does.

Hicka Photo.com. I didn't see that. My favorite thing about the hippo photo is the fact it's a slice of pizza from a clearly circular pizza, not snappy street in Mark Square pizza. True. I just feel like I need to add these photos now. Share it very good. Yeah, to take them in the thread for sure.

the world's seen open original there we are copy that hippo eating a really good slice of pizza yum yum i think her majesty had a um a snappies on jubilee day she does live in a big square house doesn't she she does a really big square house with little square bits around the outside anyway what we doing uh why not leave us an iTunes review a five star review please or a review slash rating on your platform of choice it helps something to do with al gore's rhythms do we have a final question before we back off Anyone got any interesting allergies? Better answer than us?

That seems to be the go-to final question now. It's just pick the worst question that we answered today and give us better than us. Do better than us, please. Yeah. Excellent. Thank you so much for listening, everybody. Go buy yourself.

It is Beans Time shirt. And we will catch you all very soon. Bye. Bye-bye. I'm not I'm not I'm a good I'm going to

I'm going Thank you.