Podiots - Podiots: Episode 105 - Get Your Ownly Fans

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

Mikey's inviting everyone round for tea, Peter's dropping some dumpage, and Ben's putting kids in the post. Donate £3 or more to get a shout out and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/vidiotsofficialdiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Mikey's Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/parrotboy Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Breaking Benson, not Benson's, breaking Poddietz. Breaking Poddietz. This just in, there are several more places on Google Maps that Podiat's is now proudly presenting. Oh my God, it's never ending. I'm growing to love it more and more as time goes by. They're getting more creative.

It's truly, truly maniacal. I'm fearing it more and more because, like, not only... So, you know, any random person could decide to change the Time Bridge's name to Dave's Bridge, you know, just for a joke. And it happens, and people do vandalize Google Maps. But the more that this happens, it might, like, garner enough attention that it gets, like, an article written about it. Like, why is the word poddyets all over Google Maps? What is this word pottyets? I welcome it.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Free advertising, right? Absolutely. It's a free thing to bring along as well, isn't it? Yeah. Sure is. Should we run through some of these?

Yeah. I want to kick off with the one that instantly jumped out to me. It's in Ireland. There's the Poddietteets Emporium of Cracken Bants. Very serious. Brilliant. I like that one. Have you got one, Peter?

I don't remember which of these we read last week, but I've got Podietz proudly presents the day. Benson Phillips Park, which is a place of worship. Brilliant. It's an Ipswich. Lovely. What about? Poddietz presents Silica, which is a shop within a Mall of America somewhere.

Nice. Love it. What else we got? Where else we got? There's a skate park in the middle of nowhere named after us now, which is great. I have to make a pilgrimage there. Good, good. Go and do some skating.

Excellent. Mad stunts. Oh, where is this? In Southampton, just outside of it, there's Poddietz Presents, the Hamble Water Taxi. That's like an actual business as well. It's not just a derelict plot. Whoops. Just north of Swindon, if you feel like going to Swindon, you could visit the Podiat's Presents

the Keith Chegwin Memorial Naturist Park. Oh. It's lovely. Fantastic. you got some more Peter I'm looking for some more no not ones that have not already done what is this one

Poddius presents The Big Hole Museum which has been placed down on like what I assume is some amazing natural wonder it's like this giant lake thing with like vertical cliffs

all the way around it in South Africa someone's just named it the big hole museum and as uh don't forget poddiots presents wank house in germany yes yeah that's a good one right next door to poddietz present wank view oh that's silly that's silly stop it but we've also got pottyets presents crystal palace dinosaur park

that's that's the crowning champion i think i'd love to go there i've always wanted to go since I was a little boy. To Poditz presents Crystal Palace Dinosaur Park. Yes. We can get a picture with a sign that says our name on it. We should be able to get in for free now. Yeah, I can only assume that when the name changes on Google Maps, they have to update all of their signage in real life as well.

Yeah, I have to get it all re-done. There's Podiat's presents Hapenny Bridge. Yeah. I'm not sure where that is. Amsterdam, maybe. It does look very Amsterdam. down, isn't it? Yeah, a little bit.

Oh, no. Looking at it, it might be Ireland. Oh. Could be. I suppose if it's a heapenny bridge, it's not going to be an English-speaking, it's going to be an English-speaking country, isn't it? It does say droidna life underneath it,

and I've butchered that, for sure. Dublin. It says Dublin. Yeah, that could be Irish. Yeah, even submitted in Dublin. So there you go. That's where it is. There's all sorts.

I think after the podcast, I might log on to my vandalism account and rename the landmark for the twat sign to Pottitz presents the twat sign. Put a little picture, your picture in there, Peter as well. Yeah, you're going to do that. Yeah. I can get that in there. For sure. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Pottie. the official vidiates podcast.

It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs where everybody brings a thing not long to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. Right, boys. Right there, Mikey, you're a little bit, something a little bit sexy there.

I'm a little pony at the minute. I've got the ills. I'm fine. I'm on the tail end of it. My lovely holiday. way was rudely interrupted by mr cold virus no but yeah i sound all sexy and radio voice here today so it's gonna be extra extra good it's good it worked out well then yeah yeah that's perfect i should i should aim to get ill exactly a week before every podcast yeah i get this these lovely dulcet tones

through your ears yeah are you too doing all right thanks yeah yeah i've had my cold as well the past couple of about a week or so ago so yeah good good you had yours yet ben you're not yet no i'm just sort of looking i mean you've seen i'm about to talk about my gammy arm peter i'm just looking at it fair enough i'm just looking at it right now i got tattooed oh on uh well let's how many days ago was it time is meaningless uh like five six days ago and five days ago And it is so sore. It's so sore. This is the soreest a tattoo has ever been that I've,

in the sort of healing process. It is not looking good currently. I've been reassured that it's fine. But my God, it is, it's angry, Michael. It's so angry. It is really angry looking. I've seen it. The things we do for pain.

I mean for beauty, sorry. For beauty, yes. Yes, I love pain. it's so hot anyway at the moment and I just am struggling to sleep because my arm is so sore and I can't lie on it and it's I got tattooed on my inner arm

so when I I can't really stretch it out straight and I can't really bend it either and it's just sort of like I'm putting on white shirts because it's so hot outside and then it's just sort of like kind of oozing through it it's horrible

it's so horrible and I had it wrapped up in Klingfilm to begin with and I think I got like some kind of sweat rash because it was so hot outside basically it's been an entire disaster and I'm just praying

that soon it scabs up real nice because at the moment oh man I'm losing my goddamn mind it's so itchy I just want to just want to scratch all the skin off my arm have you tried giving it a good old slap

that's the best method for if I slap it I think it will mostly come on anyway in like just one big lump. Oh, your tattoo will just peel off. My arm might just fall off at the joint. So, yeah, I'm, I'm irritable, should we say, currently. Feeling a bit irritable.

But otherwise, okay. Ready for winter now, you know? Yes. So I can complain about it being cold instead. Yeah, at least we're not sweating through that all time. I didn't expect that it would be a second heat wave. I thought we were done with it. I thought that was the peak, but no.

It's coming back. Yeah. Oh, boy. And as Peter and I said to each other earlier, it's going to be worse next year. Yay. And every year following, oh boy. Yes. It most certainly is.

But if people listening at home would like to support us, I don't know, by maybe donating money so that we can buy small Argos fans and then wonder why the fans, why we're not cool when we've got our 10 pound Argos fans. Yeah. Then you can go to streamlabs.com forward slash poddiet's donations. If you donate three pounds or more, you get a shout at at the beginning and the end of the show. You support us in what we do and you might also keep us cool, potentially, and buy lots of tattoo cream to help after the fact. Mikey? Yes. Do you have the first group of donators?

I do indeed. Let us begin with Peter's Drunk Gaming Uncle. I've got to do the voice for this one. on. EA Spunk. Nope, sorry. E.A. Spunk. It's in my ass. Whoa. Hey, they called paid off nicely for that one. That was very good. Thank you. Love Spuds. Romantic Canal Museum. Uh, very stupendously generous, tanker wanker, wow. They say, here's a two hundred dollary dues. Blimey, indeed. Thanks for all the laughs and entertainment over the years as I drive around the east coast of Australia.

About time I finally chipped in. 100 bucks for the podcast and 100 bucks for Peter as a wedding gift. Cheers, lads. Oh, that's lovely. Thank you. Thank you. Tanker, Mr. Wanker. Janet Wicks steals from Wicks.

Wicks. Wicks. Harry Ball Zack. Stephen Scodes. Mr. Black. Mr. Blobby becomes a nude model. Plodiot and Donak 07. Thank you all. Thank you all. Thank you, Tankawanker, for the wedding gift. That's very kind indeed.

The list continues with Weddie Feber Doves Lick. Lord Brotovich. Hobnob for Blobjob. Cowboy B. Brock. Big Titty Jesus 42. The Jizz Waffles. Caroline, your new wife's a cunt. Oh, Godder. Ben Gates go beep, beep, we. Janet Wicks, sorry, Janet Wicks steals from Wigs.

Twice. Stiff goblin clitoris. Your carp is beautiful. Ben's son and head jiz. Very good. I'm going to need some help with that one. What's that? Benson and Hedges.

Oh, Ben's, okay, got it. Ben's son and Hedges. The official cigarette of the Podiat's podcast. Yes. Podiat present Caroline's cunt, Carolins, sorry, it says. Carolins, yeah, yeah. And Bartek Hugh G for Skinton. I'm not saying it in any other way.

No, that's fine. That's totally fine. We've also got... Carrow time here is. Bean's line? Right? What does that mean? What does that mean?

It means Caroline, here is beans time. But someone's fucked it up. Well, they've done it on purpose, I think. Have they? Yeah, it's a sort of a spoonerism, I think. I'm not sure. I just can't see it. You're making them feel really uncomfortable.

They're listening now and they're like, well, you know what? They're just going to have to donate again and explain it. Oh, no. Maybe across several donations, you know. I don't understand that one. Citation needed. I am the Shaft Lord, Midwestern Kevin,

Dick and Dom in the Naked Jungleo, Mr. Macca, for Poddiet's Defence Fund, thank you. A great wet belp running out of nasty names, the very generous Prince Beefcakes, who says, Hope you all haven't melted yet.

It's still time. Ashton kick him in the balls, rave Benson Phillips, and snail rehab. I think it's snail rehab. Birthday maybe as well. I'll just double check. Yes, it is.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Yeah, happy birthday. John, we should start doing. What's that? We should pick our favourite name every episode. Oh, okay. What's your favourite? I quite like Dick and Dom into naked jungalo,

purely because of the last word. Jungleo is clever. That rhymes with bungalow. It's naked jungle. It's so clever. It is very clever. What are yours? for some reason I'm drawn towards

for no reason a great wet belp belp's a good word what is a belp please in my head it's like a combination fart and burp it's very wet sounding and visceral actually it's a municipality in Switzerland

oh well there you go it rains there a lot wet belp oh what's it in urban dictionary hang on oh that's the important one A technique used by old Irish farmers to till and rake the land in prospect of cultivating potatoes. Yo, dude, that chick thinks she knows belping, but she is whack, is the example.

Five thumbs up, three fun thumbs down. A little of a mixed batch there. My favourite one that we got is hobnob for blob jobs. Yeah, that's a good. I like that one. Solid, solid. It's fun. I enjoyed that one.

Excellent. Thank you so much. That's your pod squad for this week. Streamlabs.com forward slash potty. It's donation is three pounds and more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. I am question boy this week. I have a question. Would you guys like to hear it? Yes, please. This is from Sam at Samuel de Barber. You are a relief teacher, I think that means substitute teacher, and have not been left any work for the students. You can't let them off or work on other classes, nor can you talk about any of your favorite tropes for its National Trust Game Boy. toys, video games, etc.

What would you teach a lesson on? Assume it's an English class, for example. Oh, man. That's a really good question. From your own knowledge, what would you, not necessarily competently, but what would you teach a class? It's a bit weird given that they've ruled out our favourite tropes, because where's the line?

You know, I could pick some, say, some interesting period of history or, you know, some kind of interesting event. I wouldn't choose this, but for example, me and Amy have been watching a Netflix documentary about the D.B. Cooper hijacking, if you're aware of that, the guy who, like, in the 70s, hijacked a plane, got the crew to land it in an airport, said, I'm taking the crew hostage, I've got a bomb, I want $200,000 and five parachutes. So they gave it to him. He then got them to fly over the mountains in America, and he jumped out the plane with all the money. He didn't harm anyone and he was never caught and no one knows who he was.

So just a quick thing there. But anyway, something like that, for example, I find interesting. And if I picked some kind of interesting historical event, is that still a bit sort of Peter Austin Trophy, if you see what I mean? Like, where's the line? I think that's fine. Yeah, I don't know. I think if he went in and taught them about the 50P game, that would be too much.

Yeah, okay, okay. Well, I wouldn't pick D.B. Cooper, but I'll think. It'll be something like that. Have you guys got answers? I feel like the only thing that is actually I know about that's worth teaching is the weird hijinks that Benjamin Franklin got up to with his part proudly better and his advice on how to choose a mistress. I think it's got some kind of, you know, actual, well, it could be presented as, you know, a history lesson. But actually, it's just the most useless and important bits of this man's life who did. quite a lot of things. I think I could probably black it for a bit.

And then at the end, I'd have everyone write their own interpretation of fart proudly. And if you were writing this for a modern audience, how would you write about your thoughts? Got to give them a task

for the last half hour of the lesson because I can't feel like that out of that. That's good. Yeah. The modern version. I'm a big fan of that. Yeah. Is that a thing in classes now?

I guess media studies classes are all about making TikToks and stuff. Surely, yeah, they teach them about TikToks and stuff. But I get them to probably make video, online video. I don't know if it would be TikToks. It might be. It's the number one thing that you've got, if you're going to get in the media now,

you've got to know your TikToks. Yeah. Yes. Yes, you do. Unfortunately. Unfortunately. I really struggled with this one. So I might be the supply teacher that does what everybody hopes supply teachers will do,

which is Will in the big television. Yeah. And put on the River Seven video. Yeah, that first, and then Shrek. Okay, yeah. Only the first 40 minutes of Shrek. Only the first 40 minutes of Shrek, because first you need to learn about the...

At least a little bit, and then move on to Shrek. We once went on a day thing, which for some reason was at an army base, even though it was like... I think it was kind of a religion... It was kind of the RE department took us on this trip, so we just learned about like ethics and stuff but it was at this army base for some reason

and I remember one of the sessions the first session after lunch we just sat and watched a bug's life and I don't remember why it was relevant but it was such a strange experience and we arrived and this base was like out in the middle of all these fields like in the middle of nowhere all these farmers fields and they

just sprayed them all with manure they'd like had all the muck spreaders out so we got off the bus and it fucking stank so much of real bad muck spreader smell and we had to like do some sessions outside where we learned about whatever I don't remember you know trust exercises or like what like all you remember is the smell yeah all I remember is the smell and one of the like dorms if that would be the word I don't know what the word would be it had like their bedding dangling out of the window for some reason.

Those are the three things I remember from the day. The image of this blanket hanging out of like a second floor window, the stink of shit, and the fact that we watched The Bugs Life after lunch, and I don't know what the relevance was. They had to fill some time. That was the relevance. Yeah. Very important day, clearly.

Yeah. This has got me really wanting to put together like a collection of iconic wet, wet dinner brick movies or TV shows, like stuff that everyone's kind of had to watch at some point in school just to help fill in a wet, break period. There's got me some bangers on that. Spy Kids,

as I think I've talked about many times before, was our go-to. Was it? It was always Shrek for us. Oh, really? Yeah. Spy Kids are Mr. Bean. That was, that was...

Oh, Mr. Bean. That's a good... It's a good one after a while. It's almost educational. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Jesus. Well, it's time for a thing to happen.

I don't know if you can hear those sirens behind me, but maybe... The thing alarm. The thing alarm has sounded. Who would like to do their thing first? I'd like to kick... Oh, go for it, Mikey. Oh, no!

Oh, there's a fight! I'm happy to go first if you were happy to listen to... This is this voice for a little bit. I'd love to. I come with a tale of one of the greatest hoaxes to ever take place on British soil. This is the story of the Burners Street, Hawks. I don't know if you're familiar with it. It's quite a renowned event.

Oh, do I think so? Maybe as I get into it, you might recognise it, but it's a bloody good tale. Burner Street sounds familiar, but I have no idea what it is. Well, let's see if this rings any bells. In November of 1810, Theodore Hook and his best friend, Samuel Beasley, were taking a stroll down Burner Street in Westminster, London, a particularly wet affluent area, which was inhabited by elites such as the bishops of Carlisle and Chester, Lady Koot, and most importantly, the main character of this story, Mrs. Tottenham.

Lady Koot. Lady Koot. I couldn't really find anything about her. I just liked her name, so I chucked her in the list. That's good. That's how I base my people off of. You got a good name? Good, you're in.

So before we get into the day's events, I think we should establish Huck's character at this point in time. He was 22 years old. is best described as an absolute tinker of a man. He was highly intelligent, considerably wealthy, but most importantly, he was very mischievous. He was incredibly well to do and considered himself a playboy and a practical joker. So essentially this is a rich boy running around London doing whatever the hell he wants. This is the greatest example of his work. So on this walk with their hook in Beasley, they passed by 54 Burners Street, Mrs. Tottenham's address, Hook pointed at the house and turned to Beasley and said, I bet you, by this time

next week, I can make that house the most talked about house in London. So Beasley obviously took him up on this and the game was afoot. The stake for all this was a one guinea bet, which is about £87 in today's money. So it's a pretty good bet and I'm pretty sure Beasley thought, this is easy money for me. What's he going to do? to make this house the most talked about house in London. Well, you've got to find out. November 10th rolled along, exactly one week after this encounter, and the clock struck 7 a.m.

And there was a knock at Mrs Tottenham's door. Mrs Tottenham is obviously too important and wealthy to busy herself with opening her own front door, so a per servant opened the door and was greeted by a chimney sweep who said they were here to clean Mrs Tottenham's chimney. They told the chimney sweep that they didn't need their services and they were mistaken and to please move on. They shut the door on them and a few months later there was another knock at the door.

Same story again, another chimney sweep who had supposedly been booked in to work that day. They were also moved along and then there was another knock at the door and another, and another and another. Altogether, 12 chimney sweeps knocked the door in quite rapid succession. The permade's anxiety must have quickly mounted because none of the people fast arriving at the door had been ordered by the household. Now, this is funny, this is innocent in its own right, but it's not quite most talked about house in London levels of chicanery.

Of course, the people are still talking about this 200 years after the fact. Now, obviously wasn't everything that took place that day. This was only the beginning of the onslaught. as the morning progressed more and more people turned up to 54 Burner Street until a huge crowd of angry shouting merchants had gathered outside the front door each one had been booked in for this date

under false pretenses to carry out some kind of business I'm gonna start rattling off all the different kinds of people in businesses that made up this crowd okay so at the door knocked male midwives, tooth pullers, miniature painters, artists of every description, auctioneers, grocers, textile merchants, horse-drawn taxis, morning coaches, yes, the kind you'd see at a funeral, poultry sellers, an undertaker accompanied by a coffin made-to-measure.

Oh, no. That's kind of dark that one. It's made to measure. He made the coffin. Yeah. wine porters, barbers, opticians, upholsterers, doctors and attorneys. That's not all, don't you worry. At about 5pm, a host of servants turned up after being told there was a job opening waiting for them.

And then, not long after, 50 bakers turned up with a total of 2,500 raspberry tarts between them all. 2,500. 500, yes. Quick maths, please, quick maths. Oh, well, how many is that each? $2,500, share, buy, 50. That's only 50 each. That's not too bad.

Oh. Still. That doesn't seem so crazy anymore. I'm going to find out how much it costs. Yeah, imagine that has been like crates upon crates of raspberry tarts. Not a bad thing. I think she must have been pretty pleased with that. But again, that's not all.

This is just the beginning. Still. Still not all. Not all, thank you. A fleet of carts carrying large deliveries of coal began to arrive. Have you seen the price? You've seen the price of cool? I'll tell you the price of 2,500 raspberry tarts.

Based off the price of a two-pack of raspberry tarts at Campbell's Bakery, it would cost 2,712 pounds 50 to pay for all of those tarts. O'ish. What year was this, Mikey? 1810. 1810. There's some serious math going on to now. Oh, that's, that's, okay, value of 18, 10 pounds to now.

Right. Oh, this is going to be hard to work backwards. I don't know how to do this. I know what are you doing? Oh, the cumulative price change is, Peter, do you still have the total there in your calculator? Yeah, it's about 2.7,000 modern pounds. Well, the, the, the cumulative price change from 18,000. 1010 to 2022 is 8,6.16%.

So if you divide by that, then you get the original... 8,000... 628.16. Yeah, possibly. I don't know if that's what it's done, but it looks like it may have been... Oh, no, I don't know about that. Well, 100 pounds in 1810 is worth 8,728 pounds today. So does that look like it makes sense? based on your answer, you've got there? Not really, no.

Okay, never mind. I don't think you can just divide by a percentage like that. I think you have to do something. Oh, God, yeah. It would be a smaller number anyway, so it would be less exciting than the modern amount. Let's just keep the image of 2,500 rasby tarts in our head. That's the sexy one.

Sorry, Mike. This was important math that we had to attempt. Yeah. So there was the deliveries. of cool, followed by a series of cake makers delivering large wedding cakes. Vickers and priests summoned to minister to someone in the house they had been told was dying. Jesus. Fishmongers, shoemakers, and over a dozen pianos were among the next two appear. Oh my God. Along with six stout men bearing an organ. Which organ?

Very good. Six men. A big old organ. The narrow streets soon became severely congested with not just tradesmen, but also a small crowd of onlookers trying to figure out what the hell was going on, all while laughing at the despair of these poor tradesmen. Deliveries and visits continued until the early evening, bringing not just Bernard Street, but a large part of London to a complete standstill. It was said that there was enough furniture delivered to this house to furnish the entire street. Oh, God.

If all that wasn't bad enough, this didn't just end with tradesmen and businesses clogging the streets. Somehow, Hook had managed to wrangle a host of dignitaries, including the governor of the Bank of England. What? The chairman of the East India Company. Oh my God. Yeah, Jesus. The Duke of York and the Archbishop of Canterbury. Wow.

Impressive. What was the... Sorry, how much was the bet again? 85 pounds in today's money. Okay, that is absolutely... He spent way more than that because that's worth 7,419 pounds today. Well, I wonder if what he did was like

make all of these arrangements and say, oh and I trust you'll send me on the bill or, you know, I'll pay you on the day sort of thing. Yeah. If each person thinks, oh, well, all he's done is order one piano, or all he's done is order 50 tarts. Yeah, fine. He can pay me on the day. They don't know that he's also ordered thousands upon thousands of other services. I just think this is going to come back to bite him in the... I mean, you may well tell us, Mikey, but it's going to come

back to bite him in the arse. Because if he's done that and people learn of who did it, because presumably he's spoken to the Archbishop of Canterbury and got him to show up, then his reputation is in tatters, and then he's not going to be able to have any fun anymore, which is apparently all he ever did is a wealthy man. I think Peter's kind of hit the, well, yeah, kind of the way he did this, I mean, it was still not done with the people that came yet, but so I think Lady Tottenham was quite well to do and quite well known in the elites. So he essentially forged a lot of numbers, a lot of letters, the number I'll disclose later on, to all these people addressed from her. So obviously, if you receive a letter from Lady Tottenham requesting your

presence or whatever people are just going to go oh she's good for it let's do it yeah go yeah damn right uh and yeah so obviously he's used this kind of swing she had to to help rope in everyone from chimney sweeps to the fucking archbishop of canterbury but that wasn't all the i think the the the the ultimate crowning glory of the day was um hook utilized the swing lee tottenham had by getting the mayor of london to arrive by requesting that he make an appearance at her house and that she was too and well to meet her himself in person. He arrived and quickly realized it was all a hoax

and left very quickly with his tail between his legs. The evening rolled around and police finally had a handle on the situation and had dispersed most of the people that were summoned. What people didn't realize is that Hook and Beasley had in fact been there the entire time watching the chaos unfold from the house directly. opposite 54 burner streets cheeky gets by this point it was pretty evident to beasley that he had lost this bet and beasley handed the guinea over to hook and later that

day hook fled to the countryside in order to avoid retribution for his actions wow worth it maybe oh i think i think so mad what this is a work of art could you imagine the absolute scenes yeah it's amazing i i'm not sure i did do a little bit more reading on beasley and He wasn't just a scamp. He was also an embezzler. He stole like millions upon millions of pounds from companies. And so this is probably his light on the list of his air, his wrongdoings. So the next morning rolled around,

a newspaper report started flooding in. It wasn't just confined to London papers. This had made news all across the country. One annual register said that this was one of the most notable events in London of the entire year of 18. of course everyone was eager to know who was the perpetrator of this fiasco but officially no one ever found out that hook was behind everything so he was he was no evidence to pin him to the crime no one knew that he did it and so he kind of ran off scot-free until i think it was like

15 years later and a kind of jockey autobiography wrote himself he kind of had a character which revealed that oh i was the one who uh who did all this. So he kind of certainly let it out there, but he still never faced any repercussions for his actions. Wow. So he probably's thinking this is a hell of a lot of work for one man to undertake in just one week. Turns out, this is something Hook had been planning for quite some time and he wasn't doing it alone. He had hired a small team to help him make as many bookings as possible. And it said that this team wrote as many as 4,000 letters in the week's or even maybe months leading up to the big day.

Jeez, 4,000 letters. Again, I mean, when you've got as much money as he does, it's fuck you money at that point. And yeah, I'll make a bet and lose thousands and thousands in the process. Just for a laugh. And yeah, so I guess him bringing along his friend to the house was simply the last step in the process. Everything was already in motion at that point.

And he was just the final piece of the puzzle before, chaos ensued on the streets of London. And that is the tale of the Burner Street hoax. That's a wonderful tale. I have not heard of that at all, no. No, I think I've heard briefly of it before, but just reading into it and looking at old newspaper clippings, where they just list off all these different jobs. It's just, it's amazing.

Some wonderful diagrams out there of the event as well, which I highly recommend looking at. Incredible. Thank you so much, Mikey. Oh, thank you. Stephen Brady at two pints of milk on Twitter says you are Dave Benson Phillips new manager You have an 80... We basically are, that's basically.

You have an 80K budget to revitalise his career. How would you each proceed? Well, first of all, 50 quitted to go on potty hits. Yeah, that's a good starting point. I wonder if I would bring, get your own back back on TV maybe as a sort of maybe a sort of late night special that's kind of

I don't mean sexy I just mean you know naked get your own back but you know to target the audience who actually remember it as a show originally so you know a kind of a 9 10pm thing get a load of sort of current day

irritating comedians Well, a lot of celebrities, like real famous boys and girls, like, what's he called? What's that Harry Potter boy called? Daniel. Daniel Radcliffe, he almost certainly grew up with Get Your Own Back, I would imagine. So, yeah, get them on. That's a great idea. Yeah, get a bunch of them on and, you know, just do maybe one special or do a short series, six episodes, see if it takes off. and then you could spin that off into, I mean this doesn't help Dave in anyway

but you could spin it off into a sort of a CBBC comeback series so you do like six episodes to get your own back then you get Raven back and you do six episodes of like adult celebrities doing Raven that'd be great I'd watch that I'd watch Daniel Radcliffe

as a grown man doing Raven as it works I just as a little thing as well let's just give him like a bit of money for a proper green screen that isn't a green screen painted more with a bunch of DVDs in front of it in his own time he can continue to make money

that's thoughtful Mikey yeah we're only looking out for Dave here that's right boys yeah I mean 80K I think he he goes and buys 80,000 lottery tickets because one of them has got to win, right?

Yeah, statistically, yeah, that's right. One of them has to win. No, I think he puts 15K aside for his child's tuition, right? At university, get that sorted.

5K, really nice holiday. Dave deserves a holiday. Another 5K new car why the hell not right 2K I don't know what we're up to now he needs to get his hand foot and mouth sorted make sure that doesn't come back

I think we're up to 27 I may be wrong 15 for tuition 5 for holiday 5 for car we could spend a couple of quid wiping out his entire stock on eBay just so it's not burning on him anymore okay so that's 27,0002 pounds that's now being spent

Seagull repellent That's got to be what Seven pounds Yeah that's why I need a new car actually 27 what we got we got 80,000 Takeaway 27 I've hit divide boys I've hit divide

80,000 You're right A lot of math 27,000 And two Right so we still got No No I did it wrong again

Doesn't matter Press the wrong button Let's just say he's got 53 grand left. That sounds nice. He's got adverts. I think he's going to fly one of those skywriting planes, right? Over, where should he fly over? That area of London where they always advertised for the Blue Peter's address.

What was it? Oh, God. W something? W12. W12, that's where he flies it. Yeah. It says higher DBP. Yeah.

On the other side it says 150 points. What, on the other side of his skywriting? Well, oh, is it smoke skywriting? I thought you meant it's pulling a little banner thing. In my fiction, yeah, that's what, got to be like a couple of grand maybe? Yeah. He then spends the remaining money. Because he sorted himself out.

He sorted his, his offspring's future out. He's got his cell phone, knife, car. He's taking a little break. Then he's still got, let's say, 50 grand. I think he then, what does he do? There's one more thing I wanted Dave to do for himself, like a nice thing that Dave does for himself. I think put £10 on the mortgage, a $10, 10,000 on the mortgage.

Put 10 large on the mortgage, yeah? 40K left. and with the road Go on I think well we should he had his list of all the things

he would do shows for should we just buy that entire list for him yeah the thing is he only needs that stuff because he's not on television once he's back in the big time he doesn't need the juggling set anymore

or a dishwasher hopefully so he's got 40K left I think he finds one of those like Chinese Russian Indian bot farms and gives them all of that money equally

to basically create a fake campaign of mass interest in Dave Benson Phillips, like tweet everyone who works for the BBC, get hashtags trending, just like this full-on bot assault of making Dave Benson-Philips relevant. So everyone's like, huh, who's this Dave Benson-Philips guy? Oh, you don't remember Dave Benson-Phillips?

He was like, oh, that's Dave Benson-Philips. Oh, my God. And then it works its way up to the top of the BBC. And before we know it, our boy, has a pilot, and then it's up to him and his talents, and we know he's got them. How much do you have to pay Rupert Murdoch or his empire to take an interest in someone and fill the tabloids for them? Your soul.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I'm thinking now, if Dave Ben's, like, so we've done all this, and Dave's now a household name, what do you think he'd like go back into the quote-unquote mainstream, like television and radio and stuff like that, or would he try out the new? technology, like the TikToks and the Twitches, do you think he'd get a Twitch account? I hope so. That would be, that would honestly be the best thing ever.

I think, I think, yeah, a little bit of money should be set as to like to get him a gaming computer. Now, he could either have a get your only fans or. Oh, very good. Only Phillips. Oh, very good. That would be good. Actually, I take it back.

He only spends $39,000 on the bot farm because a thousand he donates to Pod Squad. There we go. And we meant fences and he realizes that we weren't actually being rude about him. We like him very much. Yes, yes. We just find his choices concerning. Even though we've siphoned money, us as management are supposed to be spending the better his career into our own bank account. Oh, absolutely.

We've got to take a little bit. That's how it works, though, being someone's manager, I think. You siphon most of the money off. Yeah. Yeah. A bit of skimming. We let Dave spend £10 on his mortgage, so we deserve a grant, I think. Yeah, I'd say so.

Peter? Yeah. Would you like to do an thing? Sure, yeah. Let me just get it up. This was submitted by Richard Major to me directly on Twitter. It's very good. It's a weird capitia.

I was completely unaware of this. This is the Dave Matthews band Chicago River incident. Okay. This happened on the 8th of August 2004. Okay, so this sort of goes from naught to 11 quite quickly. On August the 8th, 2004, over the Kinsey Street Bridge in Chicago, a tour bus belonging to the Dave Matthews band, dumped an estimated £800,000, that's 360 kilograms,

of human waste from the bus's Blackwater tank, onto the passenger sight-seeing boat, Chicago's little lady, sailing in the Chicago River below. Oh no, that sentence kept getting worse. Yeah, it did, didn't it? The incident led to more than $300,000 in settlements, donations and fines. The band's bus driver, Stefan Vowl, pleaded guilty to dumping the waste in April 2005.

Wow. So we've got a Wikipedia write-up here. 800 pounds, that's a lot for one little turbos. It's 360 kilograms of human waste. How big is that tank? I don't really understand. Yeah, I'm surprised it could even just carry that amount as well as everything else they were carrying, surely.

Anyway, the Dave Matthews Band, this is under the section called Background. The Dave Matthews Band had booked rooms at the Peninsula Hotel of 10 East Superior Street for a two-night show at a venue in East Troy, Wisconsin. The incident occurred between the first. and second night of the concert. The band booked five buses for its show, uh, semicolon, accused bus driver Stefan Vol

drove the bus of the band's violinist, Boyd Tinsley. During warm months, the Chicago Architecture Centre offers a boat tour of the buildings along the Chicago River. The boats have open roof seating where passengers sit for the duration of the tour. Most Chicago bridges feature riveted grating,

which is used for its strength and anti-slip properties. Riveted grating allows rain and other liquids to pass through, removing the need for complicated drainage systems. Next section is marked Incident.

Good. On Sunday, August 8th, 2004 at 1.18pm, bus driver Stefan Vohl was alone in the bus of band violinist Boyd Tinsley on his way to a downtown hotel when he emptied the bus's

black water tank as it crossed the metal grates of the Kinsey Street Bridge. Passenger boat Chicago's Little Lady was hosting the 1pm-schedged Chicago Architecture Foundation tour of the Chicago River. While passing under the bridge, the boat received the full contents of the tank on the seats of its open roof terrace.

The full contents, not even a little bit missed. Yeah. Roughly two-thirds of the 120 passengers aboard the tour boat were, quote, soaked, according to Wikipedia. The boat immediately returned to its dock, where all passengers were issued refunds. Five passengers went to Northwest Memorial Hospital for testing. According to the Illinois Attorney General,

passengers aboard included persons with disabilities, elderly, a pregnant woman, a small child, and an infant. That's less funny. I mean, it's not funny that it happens to anyone, but that's even less funny. The filing also describes the incident further. This is a quote from the filing to the Attorney General. The liquid waste was a brownish yellow in colour and had a foul offensive odour.

The liquid human waste went into passengers eyes, mouths, hair and onto clothing and personal belongings, many of which were soaked. Some of the passengers suffered nausea and vomiting as a result. of exposure to the human waste. The boat's deck, this is end quote there. The boat's deck was swabbed by its crew and service was resumed for its scheduled 3pm tour. What? Yeah.

They've got to make their money. They did a good swabbing for two hours there. So, aftermath, the final section, I think, here. Immediately following the incident, evidence as to the identity of the bus or bus driver was unclear to the Chicago Police Department. who stated they were investigating the incident but did not yet consider it a crime.

On August 9th, the Chicago Architecture Foundation released a statement that a witness had recorded the license plate which they turned over to the police as evidence. On August 10th, so it's actually just recently been the anniversary of this event, actually. On August 10th, bus driver Jerry Fitzpatrick, who also drove for the band, was identified as the owner of the bus's license plate. In a phone interview, Fitzpatrick denied to a Chicago Tribune reporter that he had dumped the waste,

asserting he was parked in front of the band's hotel at the time. A publicist for the Dave Matthews Band issued a statement in response, saying the band's management had determined that every one of its buses was parked at the time of the incident. Fitzpatrick, who was in Effingham, Illinois at the time, instructed Sergeant Paul Gardner of the Effingham Police Department to inspect the bus's septic tank to prove he could not have emptied it. Gardner reported to the Chicago Tribune over Fitzpatrick's cell phone

that he had inspected the tank and that it was nearly full. Wow. They were going through some serious... What are they eating on that bus? Yeah. State prosecutors worked with a nearby fitness gym at East Bank Club to determine the offending bus

based on the gym's security videotapes. On August the 24th, Illinois Attorney General Leesie Sir Madigan launched a $70,000 lawsuit against Vol, alleging he was responsible for the dumping. Vol denied dumping the waste and was, indeed. Vol denied dumping the waste and was supported by the band. On August 25th, Mayor Richard M. Daly held a press conference in which he released a videotape used as evidence. Daly also expressed his belief that the dumping was, quote, absolutely unacceptable, but that he believed that the Dave Matthews'

band was, quote, a very good band. What's that got to do with it? Perfect. It's fine, then. In March 2005, however, as evidence mounted, Vol pleaded guilty to reckless conduct and discharging contaminants to cause water pollution. The Dave Matthews band, however, did not immediately apologize for previously supporting Vol. He was sentenced to completing 150 hours of community service, received a fine of $10,000 to

be paid to Friends of the Chicago River, an environmental organization, and he also received 18 months of probation. The Dave Matthews Band donated an additional $50,000 to the Chicago Park District, as well as $50,000 to Friends of the Chicago River, and paid the state of Illinois $200,000 as a settlement. The Dave Matthews Band additionally agreed to keep a log, to keep a log of when and where its buses empty their septic tanks. It is believed that Vol did not realize there was a boat underneath the bridge

when he dumped the waste. No passengers suffered any long-lasting physical health effects from having the waste dumped on them. So it doesn't matter that there was a boat underneath. He shouldn't have been dumping it in the river full stop. No. I wouldn't have done it if there was a boat there.

I didn't realize there was a boat under there. I was trying to dump it straight into the river. Fucking hell. I thought it was maybe an accident going into this, but no, it was malice dumping. Yeah, he was crossing the bridge and thought, oh, I need to dump this extremely hefty load of human waste I have on this bus for some reason. And, oh, look, there's gaps in this bridge. I'll do it here. Horrific. Jesus Christ.

Wow. Thank you, Peter, for that smelly thing. You're welcome. It's not breaking poos. It's old poos, that one, I think. Callum Story at Calum Story 1 says currently off work sick Can we get some stories of your worst or weirdest illnesses?

I've got a couple that I can kick us off with My weirdest one was probably I've spoken about this one anecdotally before I think Was over one Christmas where I got sick with a stomach bug But you remember mini hula hoops Yes They used to do those in like buckets. You could just get a bucket mini? I got one for Christmas from the big FC, right? Captain

Santa Claus himself. Right. And I ate a lot of them and then I had this stomach bug and I was sick and I associated hula hoops with making me sick on Christmas and I never ate them again. I have since eaten hula hoops from time to time. But as a child, I would never touch hula hoops again because I'm allergic to them, you know? yeah they make me sick um the other time i would say is probably the worst food poisoning i've ever had which was from a sausage roll from tesco just one of their own sausage roll no no grace mercifully and i was at university at the time and it wiped me out for like a week and i've never had food poisoning like that before i was just being ill all of the time and i couldn't

go to any lectures and i emailed tesco and said hey you're sausage rolls made me really unwell. And they said, oh, have you, so sorry to hear that. Have you held on to the sausage rolls? And I was like, no, because they made me sick. And I've also been in bed for like four days. And I only filled the strength now to contact you. And they're like, oh, sorry, well, you know, if we can't test it,

then you might be lying to us. So I never got, I never got what was mine. You know, I never got mine as a result. Not necessarily weird, but that was certainly a really shit illness. Yeah. My worst food poisoning that I've ever had. I've got a weird one as well, but this is one of the worst I've had was it was at what culture actually. They weren't responsible, but I just remember that's where I was working at the time. And I had made a sandwich and brought it in to work and it was a ham sandwich. And I remember actually at the time eating it and thinking it tasted different. It didn't taste bad at all. Like I didn't think it tasted bad, but it tasted kind of. of sweet. And I thought, maybe it's like, well, I didn't even think about it at the time, but like, if I had, I think I would have just thought maybe it's sort of honey, honey roast ham or something. It just tastes sweet, but it tastes fine. Then I went home. I was absolutely

fine. Had some dinner as well. And we had Chicago Town. I think they were pizzas or something. It was a brand I don't normally have. And then we were just sitting watching TV after dinner. and I was like, oh, I could, I could probably just go, go to the loo right now, I think, maybe. And when I went to the bathroom, like, just, I just became, from both ends, just an absolute fountain. It was so, so bad, like, horrendous. And I had the difficult decision, or the difficult, I was in the difficult position, I should say, of having to be seated. to deal with one problem, but also think I'm about to throw up. What do I do?

Do I like, I can't just vomit between my own legs. What am I supposed to do? So I was sort of trying to do, trying to kind of take turns, kind of quickly hovering on my, on my, like, leaning forwards and throwing up in the sink and then sitting back down again very quickly. And because I just had dinner, I was just throwing up. like it just looked like pizza that had just been chewed up a bit like it was not even remotely digested and poor Amy heard all this commotion and came in and just like looked

after me and like the sink was just orange and sorry this is really incredibly enjoying their dinner at him it's really graphic isn't it but it's just I'm trying to get get across how awful I felt and then actually for the next like three days I couldn't I certainly couldn't eat anything and I couldn't even drink anything without like throwing up again so for like two or three days I basically wasn't getting any water in me or almost nothing and Amy was like if this goes on any longer like you're going to have to like go to hospital or something because you're not getting any liquid in you and she like was talking to her mom who used to be a nurse and her mum was like go and get some ice cubes and he might be able to like hold an ice cube in his

mouth and that like means that you're literally like drip you know drip drinking as it were rather than gulping any kind of mouthful you're just slowly taking in water probably through your mouth as well just absorbing it and I just about kind of stayed out of hospital but they were I think we were all kind of on the edge of sending me in because I was just in such a bad way Jesus The ham was out of date if you'd not noticed It wasn't meant to be sweet

It wasn't supposed to be sweet But I had no idea Like I've never I've never like accidentally eating out of date food before then And now I've since then I've always been really It's like it was a traumatic experience

And I've always now Check sell by dates I don't like risk it by a day I used to like sometimes think Oh well you know like If it's 12 hours past the day Like it doesn't really matter you know they cover themselves at the shop but i now won't do that ever and whenever i cook

like chicken or something i will not sit down and eat like a fillet of chicken that i've cooked even if i know it's been in there the required time i will not sit down and eat it without cutting it in half and checking to see if there's like steam coming out of it and i will like i will touch it as well just to make sure it's like too hot to touch because i'm just basically traumatized from that experience. But the weirdest one I've had is I had the migraine. Well, apart from when I got amnesia, which I've told that story twice now on the podcast.

So you already know that one in Germany. But I got a migraine when I was a student. And I remember, I think I'd been up all night, like finishing like an essay or something. And I had like a, I think I'd finished it. And I went back to my student, like apartment just to submit it online. And so I was basically ready for bed. I'd probably been up for like 26 hours or something. And I was looking at my laptop and I'd submitted the thing and I was

basically about to turn it off. But I don't know if I was like checking my emails or something. And I noticed like right in the center of my vision, there was just like a small area that started to kind of swirl a little bit and like kind of, I think it's called, is it called aura that you get when you have a migraine? And it was like kind of just like swirling around a little. it. I was like, oh, that's weird. What was going on there? And then I looked down at a piece of paper that was on my desk and I could see that there was writing there and I could make out all the letters clearly, but I couldn't read. I was incapable of reading. I was like, what the hell is happening here? And I think I like managed to stay calm enough to think I'm not having a stroke. I'm

clearly having some sort of migraine here. But that was really strange to actually look down, see what I knew were English words. Like clearly. and I just couldn't read what it was saying. I was like, oh my God. So, needless to say, I got straight into bed, went to sleep. And I've never had one since. I know some people get them kind of chronically. But, yeah, it was a really strange thing.

Sadly, I'm not much of an ill boy. Like, well, I'm saying this right now as a sickly boy. But when I get ill, like 99% of the time, it's a cold. And at worst, it's a sore throat. And I feel sorry for myself for a week. But again, without retreading an old ground, And it's my what culture, vomit plop story where

I rocked up to the office one morning within half an hour getting there. I vomited in the toilet. It was like, I don't feel good. Left the office and like spent the entire journey home trying to keep in sick and then having to run off the metro,

vomiting on a platform in front of like 20 people and just looking like a mess. That was the worst bit probably. The embarrassment was like, I've not been drinking. I'm just ill. Leave me alone. And then, yeah,

getting home into my lovely one bed, breathing a sigh of relief. and sighing a bit too hardly and pooing myself twice. And was that just a bug, or do you think it was like food poisoning or something? I think it must have been a bug because, yeah, I don't think, yeah, like no one else in our house got ill that night. And it was just, it must have been like a 24-hour thing because, like, it didn't take too long to clear up. But my God, what a sweaty and ploppy period it was to be laid up in bed. That's terrible.

Got fun. I never, I never wish to have that happen again. Once was enough. Thank you very much. Yeah. I was just Googling an image of the mini hula hoops just to put on the thread. It couldn't find any photos of mini hula hoops. But I did, however, find a photo of regular hula hoops, including a link to this article here from the mirror.

Lad finds world biggest hula hoop, a super-sized five-inch crisp. Would you like to see it? I think I saw this at the time, but please do. Get a load of that one. Yeah, there it is. I've seen that before. Jesus, it looks like some kind of spawn of the devil. Big chunky crypts.

I'm going to add it to the thread now so people will know what the fuck we're talking about. Reminder, if you go and follow us on Twitter at Vidyat's official, we do tweet a thread for every single Podiat's episode so you can tell ahead of time when we're recording and also get weird cryptic hints at the kind of stuff that we're talking about. So go check us out there. You two can see the big mangled looking hool-o.

You can see the big crisp, the hoop. There we are. Hopefully they need that and have kept that and had a new story written about it and they gave it a name and it's stayed in the family for years since. Yeah. Perfect. Right. It's time for my thing, guys.

Have you ever thought about putting a child in the post? Not personally. Probably as a child, I probably thought about posting myself, but no, not as an adult. Okay. Can one of you pop this on the thread? But there you go. There's a nice image of two postmen with children in their little mailbags there. That is literally, as you describe it, it's just children sitting in mailbags with cute little hats.

Yeah, it's very sweet. We're going to learn a little bit about posting children now slash humans. This is all taken from an Imger post slash thread It's clearly screenshots of an article But I don't know which article or where it is So here we go In 1913 it was legal to male children With stamps attached to their clothing

Oh Mikey you've posted that from your own account Oh Mikey Fuck Rookie mistake Damn Bloody tweet deck That's all right In 1913 it was legal to mail children

With stamps attached to their clothing children rode trains to their destinations accompanied by letter carriers. One newspaper reported it cost 53 cents for parents to mail their daughter to her grandparents for a family visit. And then there's that photo that's in the link dump now. In January 1913, one Ohio couple took advantage of the US Postal Service's new parcel service to make a very special delivery, their infant son. The Beegs paid 15 cents for his stamps and an unknown amount to insure him for $50, then handed him over to the mailman who dropped the boy off at his grandmother's house about a mile away.

Sorry, we lost your baby, but here's $50. It's $50. That's the insurance you paying for. I'm going to need one of you now to look up. A mile away. Yeah, a mile away? Yeah, about a mile away. They couldn't be bothered.

No, they really couldn't. $50. What's $50 in today's money? That's the real question. What year was it? 1913. 1913. The US dollar has lost 97% of its value since 1913.

Oh, wait, whoa. Wait, sorry, can you say the, I found the inflation calculator. Could you give you the number again? It was 1913 and it was insured for $50, $50. That's $1,500 in today. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, I'd take that for a baby. Yeah, it's worth a baby, sure.

regulations about what you could and couldn't send through the mail were vague when post offices began accepting parcels over £4 on January the 1st 1913 people immediately started testing its limits by mailing eggs, bricks, snakes and other unusual packages so were people allowed to mail their children? Technically there was no postal regulation against it and it says a quote here The first few years of parcel post service it was a bit of a mess says Nancy Pope head curator of history at the National Postal Museum

you had different towns getting away with different things, depending on how their postmaster read the regulations. Pope has found about seven instances of people mailing children between 1913 and 1915, beginning with the baby in Ohio. It wasn't common to mail your children. It wasn't common to mail your children, yet for long distances, it would have been cheaper to buy the stamps to send a kid by railway mail than to buy her a ticket on a passenger train. In addition, people who mailed their children weren't handing them over to a stranger In rural areas, many families knew their mailman quite well However, those two viral photos

Which are the ones that I sent to you guys You might have seen online of postal workers carrying babies in their mailbag Was staged photos Taken as a joke A mailman might have carried a swaddled child Who couldn't walk But he wouldn't have let a diaper wearing baby Sit in a pile of people's mail

And then there's a photo Yeah, I guess them sitting in their the mail bag is kind of like it almost implies that the postman is like a robot that doesn't understand like oh this is parcel parcel go in bag yeah like he's whatever he's sending must go in his sack you are classed as mail you must go in the bag yeah and then there's a photo I've just sent you guys may it says may pierstorff who was sent through the mail is the caption of the photo I'd be pretty pierced off if I was sent in the mail whoa oh nice in the case of of May Pierstorff, whose parents sent her to her grandparents' house 73 miles away in February

1914, the postal worker who took her by railway mail train was a relative. The Idaho family paid 53 cents for the stamps that they put on their nearly six-year-old daughter's coat. Yet after Postmaster General Albert S. Albert S. Berluson heard about this incident as well as another inquiry. Someone had made that month about mailing children. He officially banned postal workers from accepting humans as male. Still, the new regulation didn't immediately stop people from sending their children by post. A year later, a woman mailed her six-year-old daughter

from her home in Florida to her father's home in Virginia. At 720 miles, it was the longest postal trip of any of the children Pope had identified and cost 15 cents in stamps. What? God. In today's money, that's $4.50 for a $7. mile journey. That's a bargain.

In all... Your child's men never look at you the same way afterwards, but hey, think of the savings. She's got to come back as well, though, that's the thing. In August 1915, three-year-old Maud Smith made what appears to be the last journey of a child by US Post, when her grandparents mailed her 40 miles through Kentucky to visit her sick mother. After the story made the new Superintendent John Clark of the Cincinnati Division of the Railway Mail Service investigated, questioning why the postmaster in Caney, Kentucky had allowed a child on a male, train when that was explicitly against regulations.

I don't know if he lost his job, but he sure had some explaining to do, Pope says. Though Maud seems to be the last successfully mail... I love this sentence. Though Maud seems to be the last successfully mailed child. Others would later still try to mail their children. In June 1920, First Assistant Postmaster General John C. Coons rejected two applications to male children, noting that they couldn't be classified as, as harmless at light

couldn't be classified as harmless live animals according to the Los Angeles Times and there we are you used to be able to in America post your children across the country for a brief period it kind of

well I mean it doesn't make it any better but it kind of makes sense when you said that everyone knew the local post carrier so it's well I just had this mental image of people going up to the post office with a baby with like a stamp attached to his forehead. Yeah, can you send this for me, please?

And I'm like, yeah, sure, why not? Have you got the right stamps? Oh, sorry, I can only take you as far as Kentucky. But we don't want to go to Kentucky. Sorry, but that's where you're going. Who the hell is insuring their child for $1,500 for a one mile trip? Like, why are you? I know they didn't pay $1,500.

That's not how insurance works. But, you know, who has bought that much insurance to the, post their child a mile away and maybe they weren't mobile enough themselves to take the child but you know I get also depends how old the child is because you almost think that back in 1913 as long as a child's capable of walking if they're like five or six you probably just send them on their own just say off you go to grannies you know it's one mile walk um I know people born much later than that he used to do trips like that when they were six um Yeah. Well, there we are.

Crazy. That used to happen. So good. Time for the final question from A Tiny Demon at It underscore Lisa underscore Arts on Twitter. Would you do a D&D campaign based in the VCU? I would, but it just seems one of us, we would need a DM for starters and that seems like a lot of work. Yes. There's a lot of people when we've spoken about D&D before who've immediately sprung. up on Twitter and said, I'd dungeon master it for you. I'd do it. And that's very kind. But ultimately,

if it's in the VCU, that would necessitate us putting together some sort of VCU Bible that details every character, every in joke, every silly thing we've ever talked about. And I can't be asked to do that. Yeah. And I think although we are, I don't know if it comes across that we're that we're this way but I think we probably have a little bit of um I can I think we might be a bit protective of exactly how those things are used in if we were to create content and you know do an actual D&D podcast or something and someone very kindly volunteered to DM it I think to not be in control of how for example Dave Benson Phillips fits into that universe or you know what you know doing the the magic meat face spell casting that and what that

entails i think all of that to leave that up to someone else outside of uh the three of us would would be a a gamble i guess as to how well it would come off um because anyone can populate their their d and d campaign with vc u characters and i welcome people to do that by all means but if it was official poddy its content and we were doing a d and d um podcast i think it would have to be done in such a way that they've it's not just oh here's here's a fantasy village where dave benson phillips and milo and mr blobby live like it's it would have to be kind of more well thought out than that and i don't think any of us have the time to do that yeah i think ideally it'd be like a single three-hour one-shot campaign yeah which is like what like a really specific

little storyline where all these characters are kind of like thrown in but it makes sense it's not just yeah it's not just random things but god it would be stunning to do that at some point but we need to sit down and workshop this for a week before we even begin to tackle it yeah we could potentially look at doing something like that for a uh a sort of what's it called one of those live streams you know those live streams that we do one of those yeah those they could do one of those maybe at some point but yeah it's uh it's a nice idea i think generally we'd be up for it but it would be a challenge for the reason reasons you guys have said um but maybe one day never say never we'll see well i think it might be worth giving at least a brief look into for the next

reunion but we no no promises briefly talk to mr hums about doing some sort of d and d thing with him. That was years ago, though, so. Yeah. He did mention you'd still be willing to do it. But again, as you say, it's the burden of knowing our law. It's just the tricky bit. And how to work it in in a kind of interesting way.

It's like when I did, Mikey, you might not know that I did a community comic thing where people were drawing page by page, like a story, we're just making it up. And that was very, again, I'm not complaining that this is the way it turned out, that was very much a community thing, but if it was, again, put out as like an official bit of content, it was kind of on page three, it would be like, Stephen Siegel, you're here? And then the next page that someone else did, oh, yes, I'm here with Milo. And then Milo's like, yeah, I'm just going to give Barbara Piss a call. And then it shows Barbara Piss on the owner of the phone standing next to, you know, whoever, Scandal Penguin. And it's like, oh, it's kind of just, they're there for

for the sake of being there which is not it I like to imagine a more intricately woven tapestry with kind of almost a believable universe that's how it would I would like it to come out if that's what we did and

it's difficult to do if it can't be perfect it's it's gonna be it's gonna be tough that's the potty it's more it's gotta be perfect yeah we're renowned for our perfectionism right that's right We've got to do that.

Well, those are all the questions. Those are all the things. There's just enough time to talk about a few other little bits and pieces. Michael, I believe there's some sort of shirp. Here you are clicked. Store.orgscast.com. If you navigate over to that website in your browser of choice, you'll find a wonderful array of goodies. But most importantly, if you navigate over to the video section of the website, you'll find our latest, greatest, bestest.

piece of merch the it is well yes it is beans time available in white and black t-shirts and it's also sat alongside all of our other fantastic beautiful merch including mug hoodie and other t-shirts that's store dot yorkscast.com have a look it's beautiful and keep an eye on the yorkscast twitter for any discounts and shipping discounts and all that good stuff uh wonderful uh we're on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook.com, forward slash vidyates official. Also bit.ly forward slash vidyat's official discord in Camel case. That's capital V, capital O, capital D. Go there, go speak to your fellow poddiots and your fellow vidiots. Say hi. Twitch.tv.4 slash vidyots official. You sometimes stream there.

Streamlabs.com forward slash poddits donations. Three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. You support us. You join Pod Squad. You get a shout out. We love you forever. Mikey, can you kick us off again, please? We begin with Peter's drunk gaming uncle. EA Spunk. It's in my ass. I've got a bit croaky there.

Love Spuds. Romantic Canal Museum. The very generous tanker-wanker, thank you. Janet Witt. God, my voice is giving out now. I can do this. Janet Wicks. Steals from Wicks. That's good enough.

Harry Ballzak. Stephen Scores Mr. Black Mr. Blobby becomes a nude model Plodiot and Donak O'7

Also Weddy Feber Doves Lick Lord Brottovich Hobnob for Blob Jobs Cowboy Hang on I did this right last time

Cowboy Beebrock Big Titty Jesus 42 The Jizz Waffles Caroline your new wife's a cunt Ben Gates Go beep beep beep we Janet Wick steals from wicks stiff goblin clitoris

Your carp is beautiful Ben's son and head giz Podiat present Carolyn's cunt Bartek And Bartek Hugh G Forskinton

Perfect And finally we have Caro time here is beansline Oh I get it That took me fucking ages I'm so sorry They did just switch the words around, didn't they? Yeah, yeah, it's just, it's beans time.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it says caro time, here is beans line. It should be caro line, here is beans time. They just swapped the line and the time. See, I thought you knew that that's what it was all this time. I genuinely did. I was at a complete loss. I was like, this is just wrong.

I don't know. What are you doing? This poor person might not have you made just the end of the podcast for their recognition. They may have donated already, so who knows. Thank you so much, though. I'm sorry. I am the shaft lord, Midwestern Kevin, Dick and Dom into Naked Jungle O, Mr. Macca, for Pottieottie's Defence Fund, a great wet belp running out of nasty names,

Prince Beefcakes, thank you very much, you're very generous. Ashton Kick Him in the Balls, Rafebenton Phillips, and snail rehab. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. Once again, streamlabs.com forward slash Pottiates Donations, £3 or more to get a shout out. Thank you so much. Peter, what's on videos this week, please?

I'll tell you, worst games ever. Mary Kate and Ashley, winner's circle. Mary hyphen-Kcraft is here. Vanilla Minecraft episode 10. Overcooked 2 breaks up the vidiates. Who lives in a pineapple? Vanilla Minecraft episode 11. Pottie, it's episode 12.

Marlowe's Purge. Post some tat 25. We've been woolified. Oh, my woolly characters sat right next to me at all time. It's on my shelf in the other room. Mine's on my shelf behind me. Time for your joy pills. We have a few time capsule unboxing.

I wasn't there for that, I don't think. No, you were. Worst games ever, Crazy Frog Racer. For Duck's sake, Vanilla Minecraft episode 12. Sliding on blood, fairy tale fights. Smash that F button, Worms Revolution. Benging with Babish. Five tasty recipes for your Switch cartridge.

The reason I hesitate is because I have to skip past an unlisted video called Happy Birthday Owen Happy Birthday Owen, it's your birthday this month. Happy birthday, Owen, it must be coming up. Yeah, Benging with Babish, five tasty recipes for your Switch cartridge cartridges. Postum tat number 26, The Ultimate Tat, which I think was

the Warrenus Mask and Miley Cyrus Cutout. Yes. There was then a Vidyat's live Twitch stream of We Happy Few slash GTA5, which is ineligible for monetization due to a copyright claim, which is real sad. Is that the one where we played like the Ground Force theme song or something? Yeah, possibly. Maybe we did that a lot. And finally, out on the same day as this podcast is Becoming Beautiful Barbie Makeover Magic part one. What a prove it

That was a good one That was when you were the model Mikey But that's not until next episode I don't think No The podcast Such a good one We'll save the stories for that one

Until next time We most certainly will Well wonderful What a time to be alive Huh? Vidiots It's a real channel And you can go watch

The stuff on it if you like You can But past the halfway point Well past it Yeah Yeah But don't worry Next year we get to do it

All over again All over again. Mikey. Hello. Where are you on the internet, please? At Parrot Boy on Twitter is the best place to keep up with my comings and doings. You can see some nice pictures of our cat and me wearing big wooden clogs.

Wowy, what a deal. Go go check it out. And I stream once a year on Twitch, Parrot Boy, go follow it and be ready for what I do. I'll drop it at a moment's notice. You've got to be on your feet at all times. Thank you. Bye, bye. Peter, where are we?

We're on Twitter as well at That Peter Austin for myself and at Confused underscore Dude for Ben. And together, along with Ashton, Mikey.2, we are doing... Mikey. Point two. So only a tiny bit. Not even a proper inquiry. Not Mikey 2.0. Mikey.2. Yeah. See, I've heard people do that before and it used to irritate me. And then I've heard so many people do that as a mistake that I've clearly just absorbed that now. Mikey Point two.

The incremental upgrade. Yeah, if you want to see me and Ben working alongside someone who's a fifth as good as Michael Johnson, then you can go to Team Triple Jump on YouTube and Twitch. And of course, we've got social media presence at Team Triple Jump as well on Twitter and Facebook and TikTok and all sorts. But we do loads of stuff over there that you will be familiar with. if you've still not checked us out. Why?

Raw's boss is there. Worst games ever. We do cooking sometimes. Do it. Go look. Go subscribe. Go and ask. Yeah.

Do it. I want to leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice. It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. Do you guys have a final question before we ride off into the sunset? Well, I quite enjoyed the question of what would you teach a class for an hour if you had no lesson plan? What would everyone's specialties be? Wonderful.

What would you impose on the youth? What would you do? Can I just say we really copped out with that question because I'm pretty sure the question said you can't just like give them the lesson off but Ben let them watch Shrek and I never even got around to decide. I said something like D.B. Cooper but not that.

And that was my answer. So we did a really good job there. Oh, now it's your job to do it properly. It certainly is. I mean, I'm a supply teacher so I don't give a fuck. I'm not being paid. get paid enough. Well, actually you do. You get paid quite a lot of money for some reason. I don't get why supply teachers are paid so much.

Emergency workforce. That's it. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway. Nothing wrong with supply teachers. They let you want Shrek and teach you vaguely about DB Cooper. So there's nothing wrong. I don't understand how you can be a supply teacher and afford a phone. Yeah, that's the real mystery, isn't it? One day we'll get to the bottom of that. But not today. We're going to go now. Thank you so much for listening, everybody. Look after yourselves. We'll see you in a couple of

weeks. Goodbye. Bye-bye. Bye.