Podiots - Podiots: Episode 106 - B19 N0B

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

Peter's got a rude number plate, Mikey's making videos fight, and Ben's killed all the bugs. Donate £3 or more to get a shout out and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: http://bit.ly/vidiotsofficialdiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Mikey's Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/parrotboy Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @parrotboy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Condition supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. I've, uh, man, this ended my brain the second we hit record, but do remember a person? I got the automaton and I just made everyone's life a living hell for about six months after that arrived. I do remember that. I've managed to outdo myself with an even more annoying instrument. Oh, okay.

So on a shoot a couple of months back, um, at the end of the day, one of the prop people just turned to me and said, do you want this clown horn? And I said no. I insisted no. I can't be trusted with this. And literally they kept insisting that I take it. I'll go on.

I'll take it home. Just take it. No one else is going to have it. And so eventually I gave in. And now I've got, this is a great sounding horn. Oh, Discord doesn't like it. I wish Discord would allow it.

No. I heard a tiny bit of tinkling. Yes, you're still going, I'm going to do this right into the. the microphones. Let's see if this. This is a bad idea. I still can't hear it. It sounds like your squeaky hammer. Say, say words while you do it. Yeah, do it in the middle of a sentence. So I've gone to clown college and I've learned how to make lots of horn noises. It's still trying its very best to get rid of it. This is really good at this. Mutes you.

I can kind of tell what it sounds like. People at home will be having a great time, I'm sure. I'm going to try one more time I'm so sorry everyone who's just turned off the podcast in the first 30 seconds I'm going to make a long drone and I'm going to try and honk a few times all right

Yeah Oh No It just It just sounds like I'm so sorry for everyone at home But I have an idea

Michael Yeah You can turn off the auto background noise thing in settings You could do that temporarily Yeah, let's go.

Sorry everyone at home, but, um... Oh, I've already got my input sensitivity turned off. Wow. It just doesn't want to share the clown honk noise. Is there not one for background noise as well? Oh, God, hold on. Everyone at home's going to love this rain. Advanced noise suppression, uh, echo cancellation.

God, no, I think I've got everything turned. Oh, wait, hold on. Echo cancellation. Oh, I don't want to stop messing with this. And turn it off and try it. come on i tell you what we'll do um have you guys got your phones handy yeah right i'm going to call the vidiots WhatsApp group oh right i'm going to take a headphone off so i can hear this yeah okay cool i'm going to join in right let that oh hang on wait i've got you on speak

don't don't have it on speaker hang on you go how do i turn it right down oh yeah i've got you Okay, go on. Right. Come on WhatsApp. Don't let me down. You ready? Mm-hmm. There it is.

I hear it. Oh, that's great. It's definitely coming through my microphone. It is the best sounding horn I've ever experienced. I can't believe that you've managed to sit on that for so long without telling us about it. I know. It kind of bubbled up to the front there, like within three seconds. I'm like, oh, horn, God, I got a show off my horn.

Yeah. Let's get ready for three minutes of horn. I can't believe that that wouldn't come through Discord. I have no idea. That does not sound like any kind of white noise. It sounds like the whitest noise to me. Yeah, maybe, actually. The automaton's long since been, well, not retired,

but I just haven't bothered to replace the battery in it. So it's just sat there being a nice little owner. That is such a shame. I've got all the instruments to start a One Piece band, though. I could have horn in one hand, Automatone the other, and just rock it out. Yeah, you'd be like Dick Van Goghound. dike in mary poppins just a big drum on your back and uh everything harmonica beautiful

uh get ready get ready it's important to it i'll do a cover of something with both instruments at the same time oh great i can't wait for that we'll be able to fucking hear it from here maybe mikey one day you could learn to play this theme song i mean it just be Hello, everybody, and welcome to Poddiet, the official Vidiates. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael.

Guys, I'm so excited because I'm wearing a hoodie. I can actually wear a hoodie indoors. How novel is that? And not be hot. Not be hot. Man is not hot. Man is like doing fine. I mean, we're recording this a couple of weeks early.

So we could have had another heat wave by there realistically. But as it stands, man is not hot. Quick maths. One plus one is two. Oh, not again. Yes. We did the quick maths. It didn't go well.

How are you guys going? on with the lack of heat. It's been actually, you know what, it is quite nice. As someone who's usually a staunch defender of summer, it's been too much and it is nice to not be a sweaty mess. I did it also indulge in a hoodie the other night. I was still wearing shorts in the bottom half. Yeah, wearing shorts too.

Yeah, but it bounces out, so it's a respectable heat. It's good. It's nice. It's a good feeling. Yeah. Man is hot at the bottom and man is not hot on top, right? Business in the front, party in the bag, et cetera. Around the corner, chocolate's made.

Yeah, that's it, isn't it? Yeah. That's the one. I like that one. I don't really know what to say now. It's a conversational podcast. It's a conversational podcast. Yeah, we did that bit.

We take questions from you, of course. We don't normally publicise how to do that because we just feel like people know. and that might be off-putting to new people because they just don't understand how this works. So allow me to explain via Peter Austin. Right. Did you know that we take your money?

I was going to talk about Twitter. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm getting to that. Oh, okay. Oh, okay, okay. We take your money. And sometimes people will try and ask questions on their message that they request for when they've been very generous and they get to put a message in there. That is not the way to do it.

If you think that's the way to do it, I'm sorry for taking your money and not answering your question. But the way you can do it is completely free by going to Twitter.com forward slash vidiates official where we do posts every fortnight. normally a day or so before we're going to record and we just say hey give us some questions maybe donate to Pod Squad if you want and we'll pick the best questions and answer them all right

all right yeah that is it that is exactly how it works this is also Podiat's based on the Vidyat's YouTube channel which rose to infamy and notoriety

and who were those Who are those guys? Itty in 2018, which was four years ago, and this is just a little piece of it that we're keeping alive. There's a lot of references that you might not understand. We have a fixation with Dave Benson Phillips and a little pink warrenuous, who Michael broke almost immediately. That's not even the, you're not even scratching the surface.

If only, Dave Benson Phillips and a little pink warress covered most bases for our weird references. You've got to start with the broad strokes. like the discre if this was a course you took at university an elective as they would say in college in America that would be the the byline and then you get in there and it's like oh no what is it an art attack I don't understand why is Bella from the tweenies on life support I don't understand why is my name redundant what is a name redundant yeah tat what does tat mean is a tattoo is that what they mean?

What is that? We should have some kind of certificate for lifers of the podcast because they've earned it. Yeah. Well, you remember if you join Pod Squad, you do enlist and you are a lifer as far as we're concerned

because you've contributed financially to the cause. Now, if you don't know what's going on, there's 105 episodes, it's a lot. You could go back and listen to them if you would like. We would like that. That would mean a lot.

Don't skip the adverts if you're watching on YouTube. Love you. But if you're all caught up, you can go to streamlabs.com forward slash potty its donations and donate three pound or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. It helps us keep the lights on here and do what we do. There's three troops, no, I'm trying to work out a way to say it, three groups of people. There's the bumpy platoon headed by Mikey, the tiny troop headed by Peter and the fast crew headed by me. Mikey, you've got the first group

for this episode of Poddiots. What an honour, thank you. We begin with My mum fancies Ben. Cheers. I like to use the word fancy there. She wants to snog you. That sounds like I've had problems with.

Simon pulls heads off of dears. Donak 07. new phone who dees nuts plopiots presents blob squad specky becky

Lord Brotovich and Stephen Skodez in the tiny troop this week slash fortnight we've got can't shack it

Mr Blobby becomes unemployed Nintendo bitch Bartek QG Forskin Mr

Blobby sex scandal Gary Forst skin and the pullbacks oh come on Peter's graphic vomit story was a bit

much for me and congina and in the first crew we've got Mr Macca Spunk Bob Smear pants Why is there come everywhere in caps Caroline I'm on step 9 of also the 12 step

program making amends I hope in time can see my son again but for now i'm sorry fine don't accept it you harpy i still love you caroline wow that was like six different one two three that's a six six donation caroline there that's a big caroline story uh i didn't take a photo of it but i was in wales last weekend for a family party for a birthday and uh there was like a really destroyed like a destruction derby kind of car and it was absolutely mangled, had no in and it's left, but it was on like a sort of a plinth at the side of the road. And in big spray paint on it, it said Caroline. And I nearly took a

photo because I felt like it added to the rich fiction of the Caroline situation. It's like when someone gets caught cheating and their partner wrecks their car, like spray paints and stuff. Well, remember when we were, do you remember 2018? I don't know. When there was that sign on the key side and a couple of other places near the Yolskirts. offices where it was like a clip out of a heart that was broken and it said something like Stephen I have thrown your BMW keys into the harbour I hope she was worth it if you need me me and the girls are going for a night out at X club and it was just it was like zip tied to the bridge yeah rings a bell I hope it was worth it rings a bell yeah amazing uh thank you

pod squatters remember streamlabs for slash potty it's donations three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and join pod squad what's your favorite donation name this week yeah that's what I was going to ask I mean I was I was very impressed by several and then we got to the six part caroline story and I think purely for the financial dedication that's got to be up there but I did also quite like Gary Forskin in the pullbacks that is a work of art if that's an original thought congratulations to you spectacular. Get that copy written.

Yeah, put it on a t-shirt. What about you, Mikey? I think, yeah, no, I am full agreement. It can't be anything else other than Gary Forskin. It just sounds like a 70s TV presenter. It does. Hello, I'm Gary Forskin. Welcome.

It's, oh. Just peak U-tree material. Oh, no. Yeah, it is, though, isn't it? It is, though, isn't it? Yeah, it really is. I'm going to go for a new phone who, D's nuts because I just find that endlessly funny because it doesn't really work.

And also, there's too many syllables. If it was new phone D's nuts, that would, for some reason, be funnier. But it's the addition of the Who that makes it slightly wonky. And I enjoy that a bit more, I think. Okay. Just because it doesn't work even less. Is that English? I think so.

It doesn't work even less, yeah. I've got some questions. Would you like one? Yes, please. This one's from, oh, God, it's an Irish name. Oh, God. Dona, I'm going to say, it's not that. D-O-N-A-G-H, anyone want to guess?

D-O-N-A-G-H, it's sort of Donna. I don't see what else it would be. Donner. Donner. Sorry, Don. At, fuck me. La Bri the Donach. Sorry, who asks, you can add another fully functional body part to yourself

or a retractable single-purpose accessory such as a bottle opener, coffee cup holder, etc. Replaceable battery items acceptable, but nothing that requires a main slash outside factor to work. What do you pick? Sharpie slot in my belly button. A what?

A sharpie slot in my belly button. A sharpie slot? What's that? What's that? Yeah, like, when I can, like, so I've got a permanent, a permanent marker inside of all times. So does it like,

just protrude from your belly button and you just ever to rub your stomach on anything you saw it. No, it's a retractable that said in the question Oh, oh, okay. So it's like on a string like at the post office. I'm thinking like, you know, like it's in there all times and whenever I need it, I just kind of press on the belly button and it slowly emerges out

and I've got the marker and when I'm done it just goes back in there because I feel like I mean, it's at least once a month I find myself thinking, oh, I wish I had a Sharpie right now. And the thought of, you know, having that Sharpie on deck at all times would be life changing for me. Do you really use a Sharpie that often?

Once a month, at least, I'd say. Once a month. I'll have a permanent one. Your one option for a retractable thing when you go with a permanent Sharpie tool. Is it like a laptop non-powered disc drive, CD drive? Yeah, exactly. And it just goes, ting, and like pops out.

And then you have to push it back in again and click it in. Or maybe it's more like the DS stylus, where I've kind of got to get my fingernail under there and yank it out that way. This has made me feel sick, describing this. It makes me feel more. Some people really don't like belly buttons as well, in terms of... No, I make them feel them well.

I'm a staunch belly button here. I've got lots of weird things about me, though. I don't like veins. I don't like looking or acknowledging my... I'm looking at them now. I don't like it. Eyeballs, I fucking hate. I'm just not very comfortable with myself,

but I am willing to put a permanent sharpie in my body. Okay. Where is it? Where is it going to go? Belly button. Just right in the belly button. Oh, right. Yeah, it's a sharpie slot.

Right. Okay. I certainly wouldn't pick option A, which is to have an extra fully functional body part on my body, because I think then, I don't know, it just seems, you'd have to like, well, potentially, it depends what body part you choose, but you would potentially have to get, like, special clothes made, you know, certainly if you had an extra limb or head. Yeah. So I don't think I'd like that. Maybe there's a good, there is a good option. Two willies. You know one two willies?

I don't think I want two willies, no. I don't really know what I would do with them. Well, just imagine when it snows, and you could do two, you could do two peas at the same time. You could. Well, I'm... I met all that snowy. Yes. Yeah, I could.

While I'm peeing on the toilet, I could also pee at the same time, potentially, if I wanted to. Yeah. Just do two streaks. Uh-huh. Then it would half the pee time. What if someone came before you to the toilet and they did a big poo and there's still some left on the toilet bowl, but it's in two places. And you've got to do the old jet wash.

You could jet wash it off. You could jet wash both off at the same time. Or what if you've just done a sex, right? And there's four bits of poo. And there's a bit of like stuff in your urethra still and it splits the stream. And you've got four jets. right have you thought about helicoptering as well have you thought i don't think you've thought this through that's not where i thought you were going with what if you've just done a sex that

no no no no no that is you would be able to wash away four bits of food we're talking about jet washing poo off the toilet with your with your magnum dongs what if i'm doing a sex and i need to pee while i'm doing a sex impossible i can just have one hanging out at all times Yeah, it would be weird though That if one of the penises was aroused And the other one was just completely disinterested Maybe I could have one gay one Yeah

Yeah Jesus I mean I think you're missing a trick here Why does it have to be a penis that peas Why could I mean in this fantasy mythical world Why don't I have a Dr Pepper one Oh my God Yeah

CP on tap. I mean, you'll be very careful and make sure you don't mix them up. But I think, I think, why limit yourself with P? Why not, you know, make this second extremity, you know, really, really useful. At the park, at the picnic, you'd be your number one guy there. Oh, pulled out the wrong, Willie. What if you put out the wrong one? Oh, no.

Because the right one presumably has like Dr. Pepper branding on the side. And you're allowed to get that out in the park. And that's okay. But if you pull the other one out, you've got to go to jail and you can't come back to the park anymore. No. The good thing is, if one of them, instead of Dr. Pepper, if you had Diet Beppis coming out of one of your Diet Beppis penis, it would be your DBP. You'd get that out of whenever you liked. That's what I'm going to go with.

I'm going to have a DBP. Okay. That's beautiful. And not only will I quench my own thirst, but anyone else who wishes, you know, on a hot day in the park for a bit of Diet Beppis, just, you know, down on your knees. Oh, my God. And you're sorted. Simple. I'm going to have a fold out tray

on my stomach and it's going to like on an airplane or a bus so my nipples they're gone useless male nipples disgusting get rid of them I've got those weird little twizzly knobs now that hold the tray up

and you undo them and it just folds out you can walk around the tray just sort of visible and out all the time it just folds up There's just an ugly grey slab with chewing gum underneath. So you haven't even gone for a flesh-coloured one. You've gone for a classic airplay. No, you imagine how disturbing that would be. Yeah.

So I can... Again, within the fantasy of this, you could have had it. It could have been telescopic. It could have just somehow folded away inside you. But no, you've just got a slab of grey plastic. Literally, the most boring cyberpunk future imaginable. They just take it off a bus and put it on me. and then I've got a tray

I can sit down I can eat off it have you got an ash tray on the back of your neck yeah now that is full of gun that's not functional at all so yeah that that's what I would have a tray

on my on my tum-tum I think nice yeah that's beautiful it's on the thread now I just seen it look that bad boy it's even got little drinks that's useless isn't it

it's not really a drinks holder is it it's just a small crater it's just a slightly depressed portion of the tray where it says you can put your drink here if you like but it's not really making a difference if you knock it it it's more likely to fall over stupid yeah because it will trip as it were silly silly not everyone's left-handed either so right-handed even sorry so surely the drink you know might need to go on the left sometimes rubbish anyway great

question uh who would like to do their thing first i would go on go on i've got an article here from the reliable weird news source, The Daily Mirror, which is useful because they just have a section called Weird News, which I think we should copyright, to be honest. But you can just access that whenever you like if you're short of a thing.

So that's what I've done. I've got a story here from three days ago by Graham Murray News Reporter, it says. It is, the headline is thus. Britons, and then it's in all caps, the next word Britain's naughtiest

private number plates unveiled and what they cost okay motoring laws say registration plates must be a white or

yellow black or yellow back plate and all letters must be black a Charles Wright 2001 font is also required with the correct spacing

between characters that is the subheading to the headline of the article so fun isn't it Now, I don't want you guys to go looking for this article just yet

because there is a big spoiler image at the top, which will give them all away. And I want to read them through first. Britain's rudest private number plates have been revealed and how much they cost. Number plates are designed to stand out on the road, meaning vehicle owners are using such tricks as raised letters. Right? Okay.

To be really remembered, a cheeky plate is often chosen, and the rudest plates on sale have been unveiled. The registration plates may provide some amusement and in some cases even have quite the shock value. Can you tell that they're padding this article out already? Oh, this is falling. But they are completely legal to display on your vehicle and can be bought from regtransfers.com. Motoring laws say they must be white or yellow, yeah, yeah, blah, blah. A Charles Wright 2001 font is required.

Decorative fonts or anything which affects. readability also a no-no right among the more sexual plates available is ORG 45M

orgasm but the lust for something original will set you back how much do you think orgasm costs ORG 45m

oh my god I know plates are like generally generally super expensive but for orgasm 420 pounds I'm going to say

1,800 Well, let me tell you They've really blown their load here With the first one Because this one has a much higher price Than all the others in this article To get orgasm As your number plate

It will cost you at 150,000 pounds What? Wow That's Hugh Hefner alone Allowed that And can afford that And we can get that Which is more than some supercars

it says at the end of the sentence. Thank you. Which is at least five peanuts. Yes. Or two Snappies chains if you really want to get into it. Oh, that's beautiful. Oh, yeah. Wow. Finally in terms of...

Not to everyone's taste is F-1-5-T-M-E. Fist me. And to buy it, you'll need how much? 50,000. Sorry, can you hear that ferret just coughing in the back? Yeah, that's okay. You're right there, buddy? they're fine um for sorry could you repeat the uh license plate for me f1 5 t m Fist me okay

4,800 let me read this sentence in full because it's brilliantly written not to everyone's taste is fist me and to buy it you'll need a hefty 11,246 pounds to buy it sheesh wow what's this guy again real real journalist news journalist uh this is Graham Murray news reporter. News reporter. Okay. It's news. If you are more direct or a fan of cats,

P7SSY might take your fancy, which is only how much? 2000. Oh, good. I personally would pay £7,000 for that. Oh, pretty much bang on, Mikey. It's only $7,495. for sort of pussy, but not really.

If you feel an idle boast, B-1-9-N-O-B, Big Knob is available. How much do you think Big Knob costs? Everyone knows, by the way, let's, I mean, you can really save some money here with a cheaper plate by just having any customized number plate because you have to have a big knob to have one of those, right?

Yeah. Everyone knows that's what it means. That does mean that. If I saw someone with that, I think they definitely have one. Yeah, yeah. 7,000. I'm going to go down to 5,000.

Big knob costs 8,995 pounds. Jesus. imagine just spending that it's just like a sign on your forehead it's not the kind of thing of people to even laugh at it's just like oh okay good for you Derek and your big dog

your knob the next one isn't even good I'm not even exactly sure what it's meant to say AR51 DLE I think it's somehow meant to be

asshole but what is that supposed to be A.R. 51 D-L-E Yeah, 5-1-D-L Yeah, it looks like asshole, doesn't it? Kind of.

Sort of, yeah. Does it give it an explanation? No, it doesn't say what it's supposed to be. Maybe if you put, you know, sometimes people put a deceptive black screw on their number plate to like, if you put a black screw

between the one and the straight part of the d you could turn it into a sort of an h straight part of the d yeah um so what do you think sort of asshole uh costs bearing in mind that it's not very well done and that has really brought the price down

20 pound that's just a standard license plate as far as I'm aware 3 grand 1,875 pounds for arse idol Or something. This is an interesting one. Neighbors who you don't like

or enjoy those cranking up their car sound Neighbors who you don't like or enjoy those cranking up their car sound system can have. Fuck me. News journalist. News journalist. N.051 FKR which is sort of nosy fucker. Kind of.

Kind of. Yeah. So, or noisy fucker. Maybe that's why it's saying about the car sound system. Oh, yeah. I don't know. It's kind of rubbish. What do you think N051 FKR costs?

2,200. 2,800. An extortioner, 5,996 pounds. Another one that doesn't make sense. then there's another one are these like for sale are these ones that people have actually bought and have ownership over I think they might be for sale but have

I think people like sell them on and like trade them and stuff I think you can probably like pass on a number plate because actually the people who used to live across the road from me before we moved house when I was a kid I don't want to docks their exact number plate but they had a letter and then a number and then a space and then it was poo.

So it was like, you know, A1, P-O-O. And they had that on one car. And then some years later, when they got a new car, they kept that, they like must have paid to re-register that plate onto a new car. Amazing. So you can't move them around. I'm kind of getting the vibes that this news,

journalist made a bad investment and thought he'd invest in a bunch of license plates and is now trying to shift them. This one is worth a hundred thousand pounds. Yeah. So here's one that definitely needs a bit of imagination or

again like a deceptive screw on it. Among the more aggressive plates is F-1-1-K-C-U. And if you imagine the two ones joined together at the base, then it kind of spells fuck you, but not with the K and the

C in the wrong order. Oh, that's great. That's... How much is that? I think because of it's... It's probably one of the closest proximity, like, at a glance, you definitely see fuck you on that.

Yeah. I'm going to put that as a 10 grander. Oh. Ben. Six. 3,745. So that's like half the price of noisy, nosy fucker. But it does cost more than arse idle. So, yeah, there's only a couple left.

The Mirror reported last month, a plate had gone viral on social media, thanks to its rude interpretation, probably wasn't, hang on, Is this another terrible sentence? The mirror reported last month a plate had gone viral on social media thanks to its rude interpretation

probably wasn't simply an unfortunate coincidence. Was this written by an AI? Yeah, I think possibly. So I think this is the number of plate they're talking about. It says there's a few rules restricting combinations deemed offensive or in poor taste, but a plate bearing X3-2,

2-2-2-A appears to pose no problems until you look at it in a rear-view mirror and then it spells ass-sex. That's good. That is very good. That's my favourite so far. It doesn't say how much that one would cost, actually. But yeah, an image of the car

thought to be in Australia went viral after being shared on Reddit with the caption, slipped through the back door of Department of Transport. Very good. Nice. So that is, oh no, there's a couple more right at the end. So, yeah, I think the DVLA regularly bans registration plates

which contain swear words, rude phrases, and words likely to cause offense, including those of a racial, religious, or political nature. It releases a biannual list of plates which are a big no-no with last year, featuring some regular offenders, including AS-1-9-O-L-E, which, again, is just a rubbish version of asshole. B-U-1-9-G-E-R, which sort of says bugger. And this one, which apparently got banned for being offensive,

D-O-1-9-P-O-O-O, dog-p. poo. Dog poo. That is, I'm offended by that. Or doig poo because it just has a one in it. I was sort of was doing poo for a second. Oh yeah, it could be. Doing poo.

Just a status update. Other more recent additions include plates such as EU190. What is that even meant to say? Something out. Oh, is it, is it, eat out? No! EU-1-9-O-U-T. E-U-1-9 space O-U-T.

That's just nonsense. Well, because the other one in this sentence, so other recent plates include EU-1-9-O-U-T and E-U-1-N-S-H-T. So that's like seemingly eat shit, but that would make the other one eat out. which apparently is like brazen enough to be banned I mean I understand the yeah exactly

it could just be you know if a child saw that number one they wouldn't be able to see that it says eat out because it definitely doesn't but even if they did you could very easily just say oh yeah you know like going out for dinner oh which were seemingly struck off due to the apparent reference to Brexit it. Oh, EU 19

out. Oh, there we go. And EU 19 Shty. So the EU is shit, I guess. It's the reference there. Imagine caring that much. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, imagine caring

that much that you would even realize that it's a Brexit reference, because we didn't. No. And shout out to the person at the DVLA. You actually go through every license plate and decide, hmm is that could this be construed if I'm going to spend an hour trying to see how this can be construed could this be a naughty one because Jesus that's almost an impressive bit of mind-bending thinkery going on

yeah amazing so thank you very much to hang on a minute where is he Graham Murray news reporter for that real big newsboy Graham yeah here's an image from the top of the article It's very good. Excellent. Look at that.

That's a good. I'll stick that in the thread. When I was Googling some license place, just to put one in the thread while you were talking, it comes up at the top with some eBay listings for real license plates. I don't know if you can just transfer these. I don't know if you buy these yourself, can you just put it on your car? I don't know how that works. However, I probably have to register it, but I think you probably can, yeah.

For £950 pounds you could... These are on eBay. 950 pounds you could get Loser You. Whoa. For 1,499 pounds you can buy a license plate that says nonce.

Oh my God. 8,394 pounds for penis. Very good. And 999 pounds for you're a dick. Very good. Yeah, cute a fan of that. Imagine paying 1,500 quid for a nonce license plate. It's like being on the sex offender's register, but you're doing it to yourself.

Telling on yourself. Driving around with nonce on your car. That's not even a good prank if you're going to go to someone's car and put it on there because they use a lot of money to just put someone else in the shit. Yeah. Very odd. I'm actually not going to post that image in the thread because it kind of gives away the entire thing. So we'll just leave Ben's on there.

but you can very easily find the article on the mirror, I'm sure, and it's just got an image of all the number plates I just said. Oh, as well as bottom, which wasn't in the article, B-O-T-7-M. That's a good one. So rude. Well, thank you for your thing, Peter. I just want to point out that our friend Graham Murray has written 2,058 articles in his career.

Wow. News reporter Graham Murray. Any of them about news? A couple addicted to making sexy videos earned 5,000 a month and have sex night. times a day. Okay, so yeah, then. Oh my God, nine times a day. You really would need at least two penises to get through that if you ask me. Wait, hold on. We're bringing back the maths. How many times is that a sex? So it's nine times a day, times by 30 days, let's just say. That's 270 sexes. 5,000 shared by 270. That's 18 quid of sex, which I, that's actually

seems like quite low returns. 18 quid a sex. I think so on my math That's not very good Come on guys Oh dear Well thank you Peter You're very welcome

We have another question here From Trailing Badger At Trailing Badger On Twitter What is a specific food memory Which felt like such a transformative experience that you have been Unsuccessfully it says in brackets

Chasing the same food high ever since Poddy is present presents snappy pizza is a given. That's true. That did change all of our lives. I think one of my like single most joyous moments of eating back in university, me and a few friends went down to Liverpool for a gig and we got very drunk.

Now at the end of the night on the way back to the hotel, we stopped by a subway. And for the first time of my life, I had a veggie delight, which is literally as excited. as it sounds, it's just bread with all the vegetables inside of it. And I've never, honestly God, we sat in the hotel lobby and I was just there like, oh, I just munched you this whole thing. And it was a transformative experience at the time. And every, it's, it's been something, I've chased that dragon quite regularly since. And nothing's ever hit the spot quite like

that one sandwich did. It's, it's a decent meal at the end of a night. It's relatively healthy. You've got your cakey bread with vegetable in the middle of it. Cakey bread, yeah. It never quite hits the spot again. I don't think it ever will, but yeah, I keep trying. I've talked before about the bacon sandwich I had at Little Chef that morning where we'd got up at 4 a.m.

That was just the greatest breakfast of my life. But another one, I don't think I've talked about this, To go from Mikey's Subway story and my own Little Chef's story, I'm going to take a hard left turn into Torrey Town and say that for a significant birthday... You mean a hard right turn? Yeah, I probably do, actually. Yeah, I'd have to turn left a couple more times

to get to Torrey Town, took a wrong turn there. For a significant birthday for someone in my family, we ended up going to a Michelin-style restaurant and we had the tasting menu which is where they bring you like seven or eight courses of like fucking air on your plate like this is a duck foam

or whatever and you just eat a spoon of something yeah a cracker with a bollock on it but it's like a really expensive bollick and it was all really good but especially the last course was this play

it was like a cheese board and there were various different things on there but one of them they had these black crackers they were like charcoal cheese crackers and then there was this goat's cheese which I'm not normally I don't have any strong opinions on goat's cheese I don't mind it I know some people hate it

but I don't like love it and you like would like put the goat's cheese onto this cracker and then on top of that there was this like crispy dried like flaky green stuff it looked a bit like seaweed or something but it was actually we were told it was nettle it was like dried crispy nettle um and my christ even just thinking about it like makes my mouth water it was the nicest thing i've ever eaten and i can if i think about it i can almost taste it because that's how how much of an impact it left on me and it just seemed a strange thing

to think is like the best thing you've ever had but it was just this like charcoal cracker some goat's cheese and then this like kind of caramelized nettle on top. Such a strange dish but it was so good and I've never really

kind of sat there going for anything else in my life to that extent. Oh my God. It's a rule of the dice for those restaurants. As I say I was in Tory company so everyone was everyone else was going

Mm-hmm, yeah. July. So it was all right. I've got a thing is, a few food memories spring to mind. There's an Italian pizzeria slash hotel that's near a friend of mine.

And they do a thing, they do all sorts of pizzas, but they also do a calzone. And they do one called a calzone massimo is what it's called. And it's stuffed full of cheese and meat. and all sorts of other stuff but it's like comically large and you get it and you sort of have to cut it in half

and then eat it like a giant pitter bread and it is so good and I haven't had it for years and I think about it often and I need to have one of those again soon there's also the recent discovery like I've always been a big fan of pitter bread and hummus

and the recent discovery that if you get a bit of pitt bread and you toast it. it and then you get a little bit of cheese, a little bit of ham, and you sandwich it with another bit of pitter bread and then just demolish an entire pack of pitterbread with some hummus and the cheese and the ham in it. Oh man, it's making my mouth water thinking about it. It's just I did it and I was like, that's delicious. And then every week for like a month and a half, I would do that at least once. And it's still good. It's still not lost its luster,

but I had to wean myself off eating it quite so frequently. Peterbread is glorious but yeah it's a dangerous habit after a couple of months of that you'll be over it I've quickly remembered

a traumatic food memory if you'll indulge me it was I've just been like eight or nine or something but I was out with a friend and at the end of the day their mom took us

to a restaurant to get some quick food and for the first time my life I was presented with the option of eating cheesy chips and I was beyond

excited. Like, I was like, oh my God, chips and cheese. I didn't even know you could do that. So we were sat there waiting to get food. And then for some reason, my mom came and picked me up early before my food arrived and forced me to leave the restaurant. And I dragged me out and said, no, you don't want that rubbish anywhere. Come on. And I've never felt so upset in my life. Like, so close to true joy. My mother just snatched it from me. Bud. Wow. I made up for it in later years, though. Chill girl. That's what happens when you do... Yeah. I've eaten the lofty heights of chips and cheese.

It's... Yeah, I've got my fill just as a big fuck you to my mom. Trying to deprive me of it. I'll do what I want. Oh, you know? Cheesy chips at Snappies are like really good. The one in Bristol. Very nice.

Recommend it if you're in the area. Not you, Michael. You're not allowed. But other people, try it out. It's nice. It's time to move on to Michael Johnson's thing. Hello, hello. It's the return of the fight.

It's been a little while. I've been trying to keep these a bit more sparse, but I thought this one is too important not to do. So we've done assorted foods. That's mostly it. Mostly I make foods fight. But this time, it's a very important one. It's research that we really surely carried out

a long time ago. But this is the fight for the best vidiates video. Oh. Oh. Are they all in it? I did. I did.

I put together a list and I think I got to about 28. I thought like, okay, these are standouts, at least in my mind. But I did have to call that down to 16 in the end. So I'm going to preface this with some honorable mentions, the ones that I cut out of the running.

um so mikey gives a lap dance i cut out because i'd as you didn't want that one to win i'm thinking you know in in grandiose terms i don't think it had a lasting impact or impression or anything it was just a funny embarrassing memory maybe yes maybe that my own uh my own shame is coming into this uh the one uh the i farted 74 times to test fart proof underware i'm proud of that video but i think it's outside like it's outside of the year of videots you know I'd think I'd rather, you know, stick to the golden era. Smarty's Meltdown, worst games ever. I think bang of an episode just because it was filled to the brim with Dave,

but I think the actual content in the game maybe is not as stellar. It's not a full package. Five ways to know if Toad from Mario was secretly seeing your wife. I think a stellar video, but it just sadly, when it came to the rest of them, I had to cut it out. Sorry, Ben, but it's a wonderful video. Perhaps controversial. I've struck it off the fallout prove it and the age of empires prove it,

simply because they, I think it would just end up with either those two. And I'd rather, you know, it's our go-to comfort watch or let's watch a classic video. So let's try and, you know, broaden out. Sonical Six, worst games ever? That got out. I think, again, a very good game, but didn't have much impact on the NVIDIA's culture beyond. That's the Honourable mentions. I can't wait to be berated for the clear winning videos that I've missed off the list.

We begin with round one. Creating our Citizen Kane, you're in the movies. I just think it's a fun video. I think, I think, as previous this, how we're going to tackle our judgment. I think it's not just, you know, the reception of the video. It was, you know, maybe there's a story behind the making of it. Maybe the whole process was a bit bonkers. or maybe it's just, it was a lot of fun to make.

I mean, you remember it fondly. So it's, uh, you're in the movies versus the Portal Goblin Face Reveal video. Oh. Oh. That's a tough, tough one to start with. You're in the movies was a very fun video. Um, the Portal Goblin face reveal gave us so much, but it also, it is very important, but it also represented the end.

Yeah, yeah I think that And the final Ports from Tapp will represent The time many tears were shed During a previous video They both end with sad music One of them has the lights going off

And the other one is driving off into the sunset I'm going to go for you're in the movies personally Okay I could go with that Yeah I'm not I'm sort of too torn So I'll just go with that Wow, I was going to be quite happy

you put my vote in for the Portal Goblin Phaest Reveal but I think just it's the first actual appearance of Dave Benson Phillips beyond just myth and legend where he was actually in the video which I think is...

Yeah, I guess I almost feel like it's in the camp of like Fallout live action let's play in that like it's sort of it's almost its own thing so I kind of almost want to force it out in a way into its own league.

Yeah. I respect. it. I respect it. Okay, hold on. I've got, I've got, oh no, I've used a website. Not a website. Oh, no, hold on. Let me just take a screenshot of the website and then manually move the brackets around in Photoshop. All right, there we go. Creating our Citizen Kane. You're three to the next round. Well done. Next up, you've got Neal's Masterpice, the Art Attack video. we played, what even game was that,

the Art Attack old video game. Or the worst games ever selection video, you know the one, the one where I've got a 40 bottom. They're all too good. I really liked the Art Attack one. I liked what we created at the end. But, oh, there's so many sort of mythic videos

like of just indescribable importance. Goblin face reveal was one, farting too much for me is another. I can't, we can't actually, that can't be the excuse of, like, leaving stuff out because they're probably all going to be like that as you make your way through this tournament. Like, I expected that to be an outlier, but maybe not. There's some golden eggs on here. You know what, I'm going to change my vote. I'm going to say the farting being a bit much for me, because it's got Stoke on Trent as well.

It does. Oh, it's true. That's the video I sent to the neighbor's cat. Yeah. Actual Dave Chapman has seemingly watched that video. I'm going to go for the farting is a bit much for me video as well. Fair enough. I'm such a huge fan of the Art Attack video.

I think it's a lot of fun. It is in terms of cultural impact, it's referenced almost on most common sections in some way. I mean, not by our doing because someone else's comment, but we facilitated that comment. I think it's worth It was in Pod Squad this week, wasn't it? Someone said the sick story was too much a bit much for me so it just never goes away.

It's too good. Slightly weird entry here but I'm going to say Skarim Zoo as an entire series and this is going up against Cheggers party quiz I've been Cheggers. It's been Cheggers.

Hello. Oh, fuck. This is two very opposite ends of the video spectrum here. I've been meaning to re-watch Skyrim Zoo for literally years now. But I'm going to go for as much as the Cheggers video was great. Shut up Cheggers, you're dead, etc. I am going to go for Skyrim Zoo personally. Yeah, I've re-watched Cheggers and the finale of Skyrim.

semi recently and Cheggas Cheggis has some real highlights but then because the game is so trash it has some real moments where we're having to carry the video whereas Skyrim Zoo for the most part is there were so many just like moments we didn't even plan

you know where like we didn't for example we'd replace the Hawker which is the Walrus model with Billy just so that we could have a little Billy companion and then we were like in an episode while we were recording, we were hanging around by a lake and two full-sized Phillies attacked us. That was not scripted. It wasn't intended. And we were like, oh my God, we had to

react to it. And then the episode ended there. And then it became like Billy's parents. So there were so many moments like that where it just, yeah, stuff just happened organically and was brilliant. I agree. Scaram Zoo was crafted. It was a story. Cheggis party quiz was maybe one or two good moments intercut with quiz questions. Dated, like out-of-date quiz questions as well. Which is funny in itself, but it doesn't stack up against Skyrim Zoo. Next up on the roster is Worst Games ever, Beverly Hills Cop, famous for many,

just basically being filled with nothing but Simon Miller. And the hand solo piece of cake dance challenge. Oh, it's got to be hand solo piece of cake dance challenge. Yeah, the Simon Miller one, which is, he is very much game for a laugh, Simon, and he is our friend and messaged us recently, actually. It still makes me slightly uncomfortable sometimes when I rewatch stuff where we phone Simon.

There's one where he's making a cup of tea, isn't there? He's just trying to. He has to play along. Yeah. Oh, bless. Yeah. Oh, bless him. He puts up with us more than he should.

He really does. Yeah. So it's almost unrewatchable for me, that kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, and you do have some stellar moves, Peter, so I'm in full agreement there. And it was fascinating as well at the wedding, watching Peter dance. Because that is how he dances. Those are Peter's moves.

He moves like just and off the shoulders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing a, what's it called? No, it's a trap. Yeah, it's a trap. It's one of them, I think. Trash Compactor, maybe it was one as well. Yeah, it's Trash Compactor, Millionaire Falcon.

They've just all been absorbed into your repertoire. hand's a testament to the quality of that video game. Next up we've got the Little Britain DVD game is broken versus Milan noir the series. Oh no. Again another

one which is two ends of the spectrum. We've made some great videos. It's a miracle we didn't last longer than a year. Oh God. Milanoir was amazing and it was a great deal of effort put in all round for let's be honest

far less compensation than we deserved for that amount of effort and the Little Britain DVD game one was salvaged from the bin because it was the footage corrupted and just that clip remained and it's so good I don't think there's ever been a moment where the three of us have been on camera losing our shit like that ever yeah it's so contagious as well I can really watch that and still laugh every single time

even though I know exactly what's going to happen the DVD is just going to say Mark and that's it but it's just so good yeah I'm going to agree I think my favourite

bit of Milan noir was that we were given a flat fee for the video and then I think we spent a quarter of that money on props for the video we used sticks we used fucking sticks instead of moped

oh it's come we spent all of our money on an Adidas jacket it was not real Adidas was it oh was it not I don't think so. I don't know.

I can't remember. My highlight of that video is definitely, I've said this before, when we use the oven grill as the jail door and it slides in front of the camera, that's really good. It's got nothing against a slightly glitchy DVD game. Sadly not.

No, absolutely not. Next up is the worst cooking ever, the worst game's meal. And prove it's Spider-Man. The finale. I thought. Yeah, the finale. Oh, I mean, I was thinking, like the Spider-Man video is chock-full of good little bit. I think it's actually a very competent piece on its own.

It is, I think it's a very fun video. But just for, like, what, 30 minutes of solid improv? Worst cooking ever is a fucking testament to YouTube. It's brilliant. That one is a little bit like if you had to choose one video from the channel, to summarize, apart from the fact it has pretty much no video gaming references in it whatsoever. It kind of summarizes

videos to a certain extent. Michael cracking up behind the camera. Yeah. You know, really good Michael edits as well. Like you made the haunting intro. It is Bean's Time. I think I did the main cut, but

yeah, Bean's Time. Chicken dip of faces and potato smiley faces on our faces. it's just oh was it like a the little quiz like c dog or something oh god i'm butchering it when you do yeah how many dogs how many sheep or whatever was it a dog b two dogs yeah it's so good i'm going to go for the meal it's got to be the meal yeah fair enough you're on god the next few rounds are going to get tough we've got two more brackets of the first one then we're going to start the slaughtering okay

Continuing the Little Britain theme is the worst games ever Little Britain episodes and the Thorpe Park Flock video Oh It was a lovely day We've spoken about it at length

About how it was at times Yeah No kids, you're not allowed on this price It was very nice of them Three Yeah you're not allowed on this right Because we've got On their own

Three grown men Not even three grown men at one point just a teddy walrus has to go on it hold the cue we need to get a shot of this Beanie baby on the front seat oh god I personally I think the

like the experience of the day of Thorpe Park kind of almost outweighs the video I think like yeah it's the icing on the cake is just what we went like just that whole day and kind of like the lead up to of making a joke about someone getting killed at Thor Park and then being invited to Thor Park.

Yeah, yeah. Little Britain, I think, is a good all-round worst games. It is. It's a classic worst games episode. And it's one of the most viewed of all time, I think. It's up there, if not the most feud, perhaps. I don't know. Pissed off a lot of assholes.

For me, I think I would still lean on... I would go for Little Britain, actually, personally. But Thought Park was very good. Yeah, I'll go for Little Britain. yeah i think i think yeah as a full package i'm a big fan of little britain take that out of context if you will yeah right last one prove it the sims three which is at two finale so wow look at this value oh peter gets hit by oh come on i knew that would be in here that's a tough choice because that that was our first prove it i think the sims one yeah and no cooking mamma

Oh, cooking mamma, I know you're right, cooking mamma may have been the first one. Oh, yeah. I was really proud of that one, though. I think I edited the live action finale. Yeah, it's great. Talking heads and stuff. And it came out really well. It's not a straightforward edit.

I was thinking about that today, actually. Or yesterday I was walking home and I walked past someone and they were smoking, just blatantly smoking weed outside of the gym that I live near. And in my head, I just said to myself, of, oh, yes, Lucifer's Pubes. Yeah. The Devil's Lettis and whatever it was. We listed like six things.

And Hatfilms just had to sit there and read it all out. They were great. They didn't know us at all. And they really helped herself. No, he just threw him in front of the camera and they ran with it. It was fantastic. Yeah. No, yeah, commend the editing on that one because it wasn't just linear.

It was you were into cutting past footage with current footage and interview stuff. It was really, really good stuff. I better for me watch it. I hate it. but I can't, it can't not be all of the, I think all of the finalists are going to be like this, I say simplest, but you know what I mean? The ones where we've just sort of,

it's just kind of happened. Peter gets hit by Kai. I can't not vote for that. Yeah, me too. Yeah, agreed. All right, get ready to kill your babies, gentlemen, because it might get rough. So you're in the movies versus the worst games ever farting video.

It's got to be farting for me. Yeah, farting for me. Yeah, agreed, agreed, tharting, you're moving up. Oh, God, hold on, Photoshop's having the wobbly. Bam. Next up is Skyrim Zoo or the hand solo piece of cake. Oh, um... It's a real mixed bag of actual work put into videos and just nonsense.

I'm leading towards Skyrim Zoo. It's just so good. And it just didn't get the views for some reason. and yeah i i think i'm i'm i'm erring towards skyrim zoo personally if you guys go for uh skyrim zoo i'll show han solo some love okay yeah i think that's fair there's a lot of work that went at skyrim zoo um i think it's time that was acknowledged uh bam little britain DVD game is broken or worst cooking ever now this this feels painful oh man oh no

actually I really don't know both of them still make me laugh almost hysterically at times but one of them is just a short attention span piece and one of them is a long attention span piece I think

I think I want to say a little Britain DVD game because it's just an instant hit of joy and laughter but that's to take nothing away from the cooking meal thing yeah I'll go for the meal What's on you, Mikey? Oh, this is tough.

I think I have to go Little Britain just because it still makes me laugh the same every time, like just a day re-watching it, I still started giggling profusely. It's quite a magic... Nothing happens, literally nothing happens. No, it's not even that funny in a way what happened, but...

It's just you get cold. up in it and you join in just three men wailing at a broken game worst kicking ever I love me. Sort of the comic timing of it as well like on the part of the DVD like the delays on everything we're trying to do.

Okay. Last one. Worst games ever, Little Britain or Peter gets hit by a car. Probably Peter gets it by a car. Yeah, Peter gets hit by a car for me. Yeah. Cool. Agreed. All right. This is it.

final. Worst games ever selection farting video versus Skyrim Zoo truly a pantheon of kings here. That really is the maximum effort video versus the minimum effort video and yet it's not that easy.

Oh no. I think farting video personally, just for the impact it's had like you were saying earlier on the whole that's going to be it could be in the final. The farting video the greatest video ever made on the channel.

Yeah, I agree, it's that, and that's the one. It's at least the second best video we've ever made. No, this is not right. No, I mean, I'm not arguing it, but why we'd like this? All I did was get up on a couch and fart, and here we are. Okay, last semifinal. Little Britain DVD game is broken versus Peter gets hit by a car. Oh, that's really tough.

Peter gets hit by a car for me. Um, I still think Little Britain, I'm afraid. Oh, man. I just think, as mythical as Little Britain is, and how funny it is, the greater day around Peter gets hit by a car is just such a magical day.

a truly a wonderful experience gathering in Ben's car park and repeatedly throwing a car at Peter wrapping me up in bubble wrap as though that would have made any difference I think it's summed up by you Ben at the beginning of the video like I can't believe this is our job and I just kind of respect the whole thing is yeah I think for me it's Peter gets hit by a car

no that's fair enough and also there's more to be said for the fact that we chose to do that and that we actually you know anyone can sit down and play a DVD game but we said no we are going to hit one of our presenters with a car you know fewer people have done that truly truly special this is it boys yeah the finale me farting

or Peter getting hit with a car oh no I'm sticking to my guns so I'm going to go car yeah probably I can't quite bring myself to say that the best video we've ever made is I was using a really shit

bingo tongbole playing the Stoke-on-Trens song which isn't even ours and then Michael farting into a microphone we can't say that's our best video can I break K-Fib for a minute I don't have we ever said that

the balls never actually dictated the game we're playing? Yeah, no, we've never admitted that that's a real big reveal actually that you just dropped very casually We determined ahead of time which game we were going to play and then we just

had whichever number lined up whichever number we pulled out we said oh which one's that oh it's the game we're going to play and then in the edit we made sure that the number on screen yeah or whatever it was and we would

I frequently I think we all did but I specifically remember myself just adding a little bit of believability to it by going oh it's number 12 let me and then I'd go oh hang on I don't even have the hang on I need to get the list out my pocket

and I would like get my phone out and just open a blank note or whatever and go um it's oh it's little Britain okay brilliant oh what surprise yeah sorry for spilling the beans on that I think that's, I mean,

I can't believe we've kept that hidden for so long. I'm sorry if that's ruined videos for everyone, but... So you might ask yourself, dear viewer, why have a standalone selection video in the first place? But it was just free content, really, wasn't it? That was why we did it. It generated excitement for that week's episode of worst games. I'm sure that on a couple of occasions,

we probably recorded the selection video after we played the episode, even. So the finalist there was a video that didn't need to exist. It served no function and featured flatulents. Yes. Isn't that the whole channel? It served no function featured in that. That's true. That'll be on our Wikipedia page.

It's, hey, I think the game selection videos in a similar genre to memory cards towards the end where it was a vehicle for just whatever to come out. and be committed to video and it's served as purpose in that form but I think it's very fair to say that Peter gets hit by a car is the best video on the channel. Yeah.

It embodies everything that we stand for. It does. And let's keep in mind that the fallout and what was the other live action challenge you left out? Oh, the Dunster Castle. Yeah. Yeah, those two weren't even in the running.

So, you know. Maybe I should have put in the running so it didn't come to farts. No, it was always going to come down. I think we've explored some new ground there. Yeah. All right, thank you for that, boys. God, Jesus Christ. Thank you, Michael. What a trip. We've got a question here

from Justin, at drawn by Justin. The Greek pantheon is changing. Zeus recently seduced a walrus and now a pink baby demigod walrus finds itself needing a name and three things to be the god of. What are those things and their name? Oh God

Bilkiles I like Bilkiles yeah and he's the patron saint of parrots holidays and babies

vegan um hmm the patron the patron saint of the relief you feel when you do a plot that you've been holding in for an hour

and you kind of get that point where you begin to sweat and it's just a feeling washes over you and like any other thing so the god of poo gratification yeah yeah okay shatification shatification yeah yeah um what was the rest of it the things we need uh we just need two more things that he's the god of oh right okay um also the god of um Uh Oh man Country music Oh

Yeah It could well be that What about the god of Throwing things In a sort of lighthearted fashion And ended up ending up breaking something unintentionally Oh please I still feel bad about that

You did that to a few things didn't you actually Given that video that was posted on Twitter. Yeah, did you see that, Mikey? I found a video. I was going through my PC recently and I found an old video that never saw the light of day where we were throwing games around and you broke Shrek Treasure Hunt as well. So that's why I think he could even be the patron saint of that because it's happened more than once in his presence. Oh, I'm sorry. That was like the first time recording pretty much and that that was how I made an entrance by Brick. Yeah, he was. He was. It was coming out of the portal, wasn't it?

You threw it. Really hard. Sorry, Billy. I don't think you need to necessarily be sorry because we've had years to super glue it back on. People sent in super glue. Yeah, and it's still dangling by the guitar strings. I've got a little wooden guitar that someone sent in

to give to Billy on my desk. That somehow ended up in my property, not with Billy, but God, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry can't help it I'm just built

like this just built different I've got a thing excellent did we do did we do oh yeah we did it

didn't we we've chosen all of his gods that means he's a god of right my thing is a weird

capetia oh borrowing it that's okay have you heard of the windshield slash windscreen

phenomenon No The windshield phenomenon or windscreen phenomenon is the observation that fewer dead insects accumulate on the windshields of people's cars

since the early 2000s So people have noticed this and it's got a name It then continues to say It has been attributed to a global decline in insect populations caused by human activity Go us

I think it's It's actually because cars are more aerodynamic, so the bugs are just going swoosh over the top of the car and not hitting the wind screen. Just you wait, Peter Austin. Just you wait. Oh, I'm sorry. Background, it says. As early as the 2000s, it became a commonplace observation amongst drivers that windshields, after a long drive, no longer had to be cleaned of myriad insects. In 2016, Canadian naturalist John Acorn, which is a great name for a naturalist. Nice.

Dr. Acorn, I choose to believe. is how he goes by. Noted, sorry. Professor Oak is his dad. Noted that the phenomenon had recently become a meme but questioned whether it is reasonable to assume that windshields can tell us something

about the overall number of insects and also that humans are notoriously bad at detecting trends. The windshield phenomenon was widely discussed in 2017 after major publications and media covered the topic of reductions in insect abundance over the last few decades. Entomologists stated that they had noticed

that they no longer had to frequently clean their windshields. So, there have been a couple of studies about this. Let's go to Denmark first. A 20-year study measured the number of dead insects on car windshields on two stretches of road in Denmark from 1997 until 2017. Adjusted for variables such as time of day, date, temperature and wind speed, the research found an 80% decline in insects. a parallel study using sweep nets and sticky plates

in the same area positively correlated with the reduction of insects killed by cars so the number of insects has gone down which is probably not a good thing right probably we now turn to the UK in 2004 the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds RSPB asked 40,000 motorists in the United Kingdom to attach a sticky PVC film to their number plate Maybe it said big dick on it. Big knob.

Big knob. One insect collided with the plate for every eight kilometers five miles driven. No historical data was available for comparison in the UK. A follow-up study by Kent Wildlife Trust in 2019 used the same methodology as the RSPB survey and resulted in 50% fewer impacts. Jesus. The research also found that modern cars, with a more aerodynamic body shape, killed more insects than boxier vintage cars.

More insects. Oh, that's even worse. Another survey was conducted in 2021 by Kent Wildlife Trust and Nature Conservation, sorry, charity Bug Life, which showed the number of insects sampled on vehicle number plates in Kent decreased

72% compared to the 2004 results. So, there are one of two things we can extrapolate from this. We're all fucked or the insect are maybe just a lot more clever about cars. Yeah, they're more streetwise. Maybe education is much better in the insect community than it was 20 years ago, you know?

They have adverts with cartoon hedgehogs. Yes, they do. Yes. Johnny Cash songs. I want to watch a 2022 follow-up sequel to Bugs Life where they're teaching the bugs about avoiding cars because that does feel like a thing that would be in a Pixar movie. Yeah, it does, yeah. I also want to point out it's not a Johnny Cash song before the comments go absolutely aflame on me.

there. It's that other guy who used to sing with Johnny Cash sometimes. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Johnny Card. Yeah. That is literally it. That's my thing. Johnny's contact list. Yes. It was just a small one because I... A message of doom. I'd never heard about the windscreen phenomenon before, but apparently it's an absurd thing. Yeah. People used to notice that there were more insects on their windscreen. It's a bit like how you don't get white. dog poo anymore.

Yeah. A white dog poo from when we were kids. It was sort of faith. It's being phased out. Purple tomato ketchup, right? It was only available for a while. Yeah. And it's because dog food used to be of lower quality and contain a lot more bone meal.

Oh. And so when the dogs would do their poos, they would have white bits of bone, basically, in their plops. And nowadays, it's, I guess, more regulated and stuff. and so you don't get the bone in there. That's like one of those crappy Facebook nostalgia post waiting to happen. Do you remember the days when we had white poo on our streets? What happened to Britain?

Oh, God. Wow, yeah, I hadn't thought about white poo in a while. Yeah, it happens in life on Mars, that show where John Sim gets sent back to the 70s. He's like a policeman. And he's like walking down the street and he's like looking at all like these cars and stuff going past and listening to the music. And then he looks down on the floor. And he goes, huh, white dog poo. Not seen that in years or something.

Like, that's what he's nostalgic for. That's good. Does he get in his car as well and hit loads of bugs? Yeah, loads of them. He has to wipe his actual windscreen off, which you definitely don't have to do anymore. No, you really, really don't. Well, that's my thing. It's time for a final question.

This is from Darby at Cryptid Darby on Twitter. If you could only smell three smells for the rest of your life, what would you want them to be? And you can't have parrots holidays, they can't. I'm beautiful. That's tough. Petrol. Petrel.

Yeah. That's a good one. I think that's one of my all-time grates in the smell department. Yeah, I'm with you there. New sheets, maybe. New sheets. Not new sheets. freshly washed sheets.

Okay. Clean sheets. It only sort of lasts like a day, but that first night where you've just put new laundry, new, like fresh sheets on, I sleep so much better that night, I think, than any other night. Oh, yeah, that's a good night.

Week or fortnight or whatever. Fortnight. Try month. Yeah. Well, it's difficult when you're married. You know, you've got a partner who actually cares about bedbugs. Oh, terrible. Yeah.

My first one would be vanilla. Oh, yeah. Also, very quickly, before we continue, I forgot to say the photo. I put it in the link dumb now, but there's a photo in this Wikipedia article. It's so artsy. It's got the caption, Bugs on a windshield at sunset. Oh, really? Yeah, I hope it won a prize.

That's beautiful. Oh, wow, that's stunning. Yeah, lovely. It's exactly as you described. It is. It's very literal. Chips or just general fried things, if that's not too vague. Oh, I can take that.

The waft of garlic from out, like while you stood outside an Italian restaurant. Oh, yeah. That tempting, ooh, that being. Yeah. It's not the same as like the garlic when it's on your plate in front of you. It's got a mixing with particulate in the air a little bit. and that kind of really hooks you in. It's like, oh, I want some bloody Italian food now.

I would maybe have baked goods, like baked bread or cakes or something when that's, you know, either when you're going past a bakery or if you're fortunate enough to have someone who's baked something in your house, smell of like freshly baked cake. Very good. So I've had vanilla chips and I'll go finally. I will go for Oh Oh no, I don't know

I don't know whether to get Because I've chosen really pleasant things so far But I don't know whether to get like Weird with it Hey Like useful Because I was going to suggest Like

BO Just so you know If you smell or not You know Oh that's a good point You need to know But I don't know if that If I want that to be one of the only three things

I can ever smell I know I think I forgot it was yeah that's a functional one because it's terrible when do I smell but you can't smell anything is that uncertainty but if you can smell it you know for a fact you've got to have a shower there's no doubt about it I think that's a brilliant one okay I might do that then okay I'm going purely pleasure here I'm just going to say the smell of the earth after it's been sunny for like a week and it rains and it just that the earth fills of that wet smell. Petricore, I think it's called. Petricor. So I go for Petrel and Petricore. Yeah. I mean, not to be a copycat, but I'm thinking Petrol was a really good show, actually,

and that was one of yours, not one of mine. So either that or there's this, there's a shrub. I've been frantically Googling trying to get the name of this plant. Yeah. But there used to be So I used to have to go to church every Sunday when I was growing up. And between the car park and the door of the church, I would have to walk past one of these shrubs. And it smelled really good for like four or five months of the year because it has these pink flowers on it. And then when my parents moved house,

on one of the lanes where we would walk the dogs, there was another one of these same shrubs. And I think I found it actually. it's ribez sanguine hang on let me just Google this sanguineum it's got these like green leaves with little lines on

and these pink flowers yeah it might not be pronounced ribez but that's what I would have sanguine I would be able to smell that it just smells so good like really nice and not like anything else really so I just feel like

garden with that. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. I think, yeah, that is a better choice than petrol. I like petrol because it's more of a treat smell. It's not, you don't hunt out the smell. You don't buy a can of petrol and sniff it.

Come on, you've been good, Michael. Saturday is fruit dough. You could smell literally anything. Or 24 hours, you could breathe in all the inhalants you please. Yeah. Wow. I think it's always a nice surprise when you smell it. That's why it's my fault.

If you were to, um, slightly cheat, Mikey and just sort of say solvents, then what you could do is whenever you want the smell of a solvent, you could just take the Sharpie out of your belly button. I have a little sniff of that. Oh, there we go. Bam, full circle. Beautiful. Yeah.

Maybe I'll maybe have a little petrol dispense in my belly button. No, that doesn't sound healthy. I'll stick to the Sharpie. You've become like a commodity. People would bleed you dry. Yeah. Once it runs out naturally, you'd be the only source. You'd be hooked up to some sort of machine.

Oh, my God. God, yeah, I'd be milked for my materials. Oh, no, you'd be in a dairy. I desperately heard Peter tried to say anything other than milked and took it right there. Beautiful, wonderful. Well, thank you so much for your questions, everybody, and your things, boys.

Michael, I think that's some sort of sharp. You're darn tootin. If you head over to your internet browser of choice and type in the magic words, store.orgscast.com into that little bar. You'll find a lovely array of apparel in goodies and toys and games. But if you navigate over to the video section of that website, you'll find a delightful array of clothing goods and mugs.

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Simon pulls heads off of Dears. Donak, 07. Newfound, who dees nuts. Plopiots presents Blob Squad. Speckybecky, Lord Brotovitch. Is it Brotovic? I think I ask this every time. Is it Brotovic? I say Brotoviv.

I say Vich. I've never been corrected. I'm going to stick with Vich then. Lord Brotovic and Stephen Skodez. Can't shack it. Mr. Blobby becomes unemployed. Nintendo bitch. Bartek, Hugh G. Forskin. Mr. Blobby's sex scandal. Gary Forskin and the pullbacks. Peter's graphic vomit story. And then was a bit much for me.

Congina. congena that's it and finally we have Mr Macca Spunk Bob Smear Pants Why is there come everywhere Caroline I'm on step nine of The 12 step program making Amends I hope in time I can see

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If you want to join Thank you so much everybody What's out on videos this week? Well, we begin with worst games ever B-movie game. Yes. Oh, you like jazz. Indiana Bones,

Vanilla Minecraft episode 13. Three-headed Oscar winner, U-Star 2, which was like you're in the movies, but just a different game. Remember, U-Star? Yeah. Becoming Beautiful Barbie Makeover Magic Part 2. Oh.

We're getting close to that fantastic live-action Challenge. Poddiots episode 13 Spook Ronto. Post some tap number 27 Miley's Special Toys Barbie makeover magic in real life, live action finale. Worst games

ever. 3D pets Volume 1. Ben is dead, Loll. Vanilla Minecraft episode 14. Vidiate's live Twitch stream Mario Party 4 slash worms ineligible for monetization.

for Nintendo From Beyond the Grave Jekers Party Quiz I didn't know that the subtitle was from beyond the grave We were not very tactful, were we? No Okay

Running the Gauntlet Vanilla Minecraft episode 15 Insomnia 63 vlog Finding Billy's long-lost cousin Oh cute Post some tap number 28 Noah and Billy Noah and Billy Crochet Waris

and Watch Dogs 2 Proximity Mind Challenge That was a good one Yeah, it was. It was a clever one Well go check those videos out there, brand new Never seen before, go watch them Yeah

Mikey, where are you on the internet If people wanted to find you? At Parrot Boy on Twitter That's the best place to keep up to date With my Cummings and Goings I also stream somewhat occasionally on Twitch. I did a stream the other week. I have you

star, I think. Yeah, you star. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw you actually. Did you. Saw the announcement thing. Good fun, good fun. So yeah, go check that out. I'll do more. I do more weird stuff once in a while. Go check it out. Bye. Wonderful. Thank you, Michael.

Peter, where are we on the internet? We are individually on Twitter at That Peter Austin and at Confused underscore dude. And together we are at Team Triple Jump as well as Ashton Matthews so you can go to Team Triple Jump on YouTube and Twitch and Twitter and Facebook and we're doing all kinds of silly videos over there

just like all the ones we've talked about today except not as good no they're just different they're more professional is the difference slightly slightly less flatulence exactly video's changed yeah it did right

what we're going to say now how about leaving us a five-star review slash rating on your platform of choice. That would be good. We'd appreciate that and it helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. Thank you so much for listening everybody. We appreciate you. Look after yourselves. Do we have a final question before we disappear?

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Bye. Bye. Thank you.