Podiots - Podiots: Episode 109 - Bus Station Goths

Episode Date: October 11, 2022

Peter's presenting an infallible feline, Ben talks bear etiquette, and Mikey has chihuahua calamity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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A gesture made for oneself, discover the new fragrance, Mutein, now available in Canada. Maybe It's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track! Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories Yeah, work. Around either watching these commercials on TV or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us. Maybe it's Maple Lane

Maybe it's Maple Lane News Flash, news flash Hello everybody We know what We'll longer have a shop Whoops Oh, did you delete it? Yeah, sorry

Turns out if you, if you Oh no, it's just terrible I spilled a big mugger teal of my keyboard And just I watched As all of our merch disappeared One by one in front of her So it went into the portal. Maybe it's gone with you guys, actually.

Could you try and look around from it? Oh, I mean, we can have a look. I thought you were going to say I spilled a big old tin of beans all over it. Oh, that would be inappropriate, wouldn't it? We might have been able to use a backup that I've been keeping for a long time, but I accidentally left that in a briefcase on the tube. Oh, shit. Yeah, with everyone's payment information as well.

So that's just out there now, I'm afraid. Never mind. That's fine. Just got to sign up some lovely. spam emails be great. Oh, to be absolutely. Yeah, to be very clear. I did not live a briefcase with all of your card information on the tube or anywhere. And that briefcase does not exist. It's fine. I do not have access to that information. We have never had access to that information. No. But yes, while we are allegedly hunting for the suitcase and I'm cleaning up

the beans, we are currently staleless. Yogscast will no longer be supplying our merch. It's not a personal thing i promise it's just i've had a bit of a clear out and um that sounds no that does make it sound personal we've got rid of the shit and uh we're proud to say we made the cut we made the cut boys we're still on network we should be clear as well um it was just just purely a store thing everything is fine never make me do PR statements this is amazing everything's fine all right by the way we've lost your information So yes, we are currently looking into a new supplier. So bear with us for probably a couple of weeks to a month.

We'll get something new set up as soon as we can. Maybe with a new little treat or two on it. Who knows? We'll see. The store is not dead. It's just changing. There we go. In the true viduets fashion.

Exactly. Prepare yourself for some weird shit on the store. Yeah, now we're in control of it. We can just put whatever the hell we want on there. I want a big pixelator JPEG of Dave Benson Phillips on a shirt? No, you don't because that will. That will definitely result in us getting sued. You want to rip memory card swimsuit?

You can have that. Booth bought one of those. Booth bought a triple jump one, so see if she buys that. Yeah. She does listen to Pottietz. And she streamed in the triple jump one. So if we ever feel like Pottiots needs a bit of a boost,

bit of a boof. Yes. Then just do a one item only potty at swimsuit and sell it to her. Easy. There you go. It must be so unnerving to put on a podcast and just hear a name called out. Sophie. Yeah, we're talking to you, Jason.

Oh, actually, before we go into it, I want to start with something. That's a little bit more fun than the death of the merch store. Do you remember you all used MSN, didn't you? Yeah. Instant Messenger. I think it's tough. Do you ever have, like, embarrassing statuses on there? I mean, I didn't, because I was above all that.

Probably at some point. Nobody talked to me, so I didn't really. Oh, do we put any statements on it's time to live our dreams and I'm going to give every, well, all of us here a new, embarrassing status to put on the MSN status if that's all right. I've got an old archive here from like literally 10 years ago of a website that was just filled with really terrible, terrible funny quotes that like perfectly fit the bill for MSN statuses. So I'm going to start with you, Ben. if you could give me a number between 1 and 2,304. Oh, man. Okay, how about 1,455?

1,450. Give me a minute to scroll all the way down. Yeah. Can you control an F or not that kind of page? It's not that kind of page. I found it. It's all right. Just talk us through it.

How many have you gone where are you at now? Oh, I'm buying on. I'm a quick scroller. Oh, okay. Okay, excellent. Okay, yours is, don't let someone tell you it's not love. You will know, I never knew what love was until I met him. Oh, that's nice.

I love it. Who do you think I'm talking about in the statement? Billy Ray Walrus. Brian, it's either Billy Ray Warris or Brian Butterfield. Yeah, could be. A fan of the Butterfield. Pisa, would you like one? Yeah, I'll have 400.

189, which is 420 plus 69. Very nice. That's clever and rude. It is. That was quick as well. You've had that banked. God, they're all love-themed. I guess that's on brand.

I think it's weird when I love you. I think it's weird when I care. I think it's weird when I want you. When you don't even know I am there. Oh, no. Oh, no. And viewers a horn. It's a bit cringe, isn't it?

It's a bit cringe, love. Peter's wedding was a bit cringe I thought That was one of my vows, wasn't it? Bit cringe. View at home, would you like to shout out your number? Oh, a little bit louder. Oh, 75.

What? 75, thank you. And our lucky viewer, our one view at home. What? Oh my God, so this is like, what's the word where you get every letter of something and each letter begins a word. Wow, that's

good English. An acronym? Ancronym. So this is an acronym for love. Yeah. Loose wants, vomit, enemies. Loose. Loose? Worse? Loose. Not loose?

No, loose. God, I had a scroll through here and I pick some random numbers off the cup and they're all bangers and I get these and it's just a mess. Well, you need to pick one for yourself now. Find us one. Yeah, find us a good one. I'm just going to scroll and stop randomly. Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart and you'll steal mine.

Oh, that's good. Brilliant. That's good. Right. Of course, on MSN, they would be in sort of different colored fonts with kind of various asterisks and, yeah, little emoticons around them. Incredible. That made me feel unwell, Michael. So, well done.

You're very welcome. It's what I do best. Would you boys like to roll on to the actual meat of the podcast now? Yeah, go on. Sure. Let's give it. Hello, everybody, and welcome to poddy. It's the official vidiates podcast.

It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs, where everybody brings a thing along to talk. I'm Ben I'm Peter and I'm Michael Right guys Yeah How's it going Yeah

Mikey's just had a birthday Oh my God Oh my happy birthday Mikey It was a scary moment When I had I googled on my phone How old am I

I couldn't remember Why you had to Google How old you? How'd you not know that? I don't know I wasn't sure if I was like 27 already or 26 already I'm a 28 year old man

which is a horrifying thought. You'll remember when you get to 30. Yeah. Everyone makes a big deal out of that one. God. They do. They do make a big deal out of it. Stop giving me admiration and love and attention.

Leave me alone to wither and die alone. Thank you. That's all any of us want. Yeah. Just not to acknowledge the years passing. Just let's all pretend it's not happening, right? Hmm. I think so.

Are you good, Peter? Very good, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, pretty good. How are you? Yeah, fine. It's Halloween month, isn't it? Oh. Why wouldn't I be fine? To be clear with everybody, the Halloween episode or the annual Spooky It's episode will be the last week of October.

So next time we ask for questions, you get those spooky questions in. We'll do some spooky things. Spooky things, yeah. It's just a spook month podcast. It just happens to be in this month. And that's okay. If you would like to support us financially And you don't have to

Because the world is bad Living in Britain is hard currently And we totally understand If you take your pennies And you spend it on far more important things Fuel is expensive Energy is expensive Food is expensive

It's horrible out there But if you do have pennies to throw our way We would really appreciate it And you can do so by going to streamlabs.com Forward slash Podiat's donations Donate three pounds or more get a shout-out at the beginning and the end of the show you join Pod Squad, and you get a shout-out. Everyone chooses silly names most of the time, apart from the people who don't choose

silly names, and sometimes people go a bit far, or we're not really sure what their names mean, and we don't want to say a slur accidentally, so we refund them, which has happened this week. Mikey, can you kick us off with your Pod Squad? We begin with puddle-duddle. Caroline, blobby, Cheggers, etc. Where is Kevin? Cizomey Daddies. Mr. Blobby becomes a drug lord. An extra 50s worth of wicks. Jack J.D. Bradshaw. Mr. Black.

Normal name Nick Gage. Blobby got you treed. Steven Scourdes and normal name Lord Brotovic. Very good. I also have normal name Lord Brotovich at the top of mine, but that might be a mistake. It's a mistake. Two there from normal. name Lovatovich.

Also, Freddie Weber did a sex wee, woo, lovely. Smelly penis discharge. Nice. Shit, this isn't WebMD. Oh, very good. Those two go together. Big Titty Jesus 42.

Blistern lack. Mr. Street View. Extra 50 worth of Pod squad. Don't put your feet before your cocks. Podients present being liable. Mr Macca the quacker-facker, Prince Beefcakes and Finn Tristam. And finally I have The Dicks were a bit much for me. Mr. Macker, Poddietz presents, plushy labs, Edgar Allan.

I'm going to have to zoom in on that. Edgar Allan Pooh, good, that's what it said. Two and a quarter doms, Donak 07, theoretically possible. Dave's bent, bent, son, Philip. Don't know about that one. Juan with everything, Dick and Dominatrix in. Banga? Bangelo? Yeah, just bang as in having sex, I think. Bangalow.

Bangalow. I'm sorry, I took it too far, and Michael Jugg's son. Nice. That's my cool jug's son. Thank you so much. Pod Squad for your Pod Squad squaddings this week. Streamlabs.com forward slash potty at Stonations to join Pod Squad. Thank you so much. Do you have a favourite, Alan? I think you had a really good batch there, Ben. I liked Edgar Allan Pooh, theoretically possible, one with everything.

I even liked Dave's bent son, Philip, even though it's, you know, pretty questionable. Yeah. I'm going to go for the one that sounds like my name. My cool jugson. That's good. Michael, yeah. I'm going to have to throw my weight behind Edgar Allan Pooh. Yeah, it's all but effective.

The fact that you had, there was just a slight delay as well where you had to click on it to zoom in. Well, does that say, Edgar, oh, Edgar Allan Pooh. Oh, it's Pete. Okay. Okay. Excellent. Thank you, everybody. Mikey, your question boy this week. What you got?

You're darn tooting. I have a question from a fucking Hoover. Okay. So you're not seeing the close-up picture of a smiling Henry Hoover. That is their display picture as well, which is a pretty good combo. I didn't even know what's the account called, not just the username, like the username, sorry.

The ad. At meme underscore out on Twitter. Okay. They ask. Not a Hoover then. Not a Hoover, sadly. Just just, you know, cosplaying as one.

Come on. Come on. They ask. Ooh. I closed it just as I started reading it there. I panicked. Is that them just being a hoover? Ooh.

Ooh. Oh. They ask, what is the nerdiest thing you guys are into? For me, it has to be Waterhammer. But Jesus. It's often to be very good, would it? God, help me. For me, it has to be Warhammer 40K.

Kiss, kiss. Do you guys have any little, little maybe secret nerdyisms, maybe things that you don't talk about that much, or just things that you fully embrace the nerd-nerdiness of? I'm going to say something a little controversial here and I think you'll both agree with me actually I think wrestling is nerdier than video games oh 100% yeah

I don't think wrestling fans see themselves as nerds but my God it's it's fiction and to have earned an encyclopedic knowledge of it is on par with knowing in my books it's on par with knowing how to like write and read Elvish in J.R. R. Hockinson's People who can

they can quote specific matches and what happened and who, like it was one match in like some random Saturday show in 1989. Like that's insane to me. What a card, Peter. What a card. Did you see he was main eventing? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's, yeah. Sure. Who was in it? Who was it, Peter? Who was main eventing in 1980? Whatever it was you said. Jim Whiplash. Winston Winston Winston?

Winston Against I don't know Against the wardrobe The wardrobe He was brilliant Wasn't he

Classic I love his catchphrase What was his catchphrase Peter the wardrobe? Put your fucking clothes in me now Wow I can see why Winston

would want to fight him Yeah you could say fucking on TV in 1989 You can't say it anymore You really could So that's my answer. I really like wrestling, and I think that's probably the note. Because I tell people I play video games, and they're like, oh, yeah, you know, video games, they're culturally acceptable.

I say I watch wrestling, they're like, wrestling. Wrestling is the last hobby I would tell someone I've just met that I'm into. So that's mine. Wrestling is like, I mean, sorry, video games, you can hop in and out of player one or two. But wrestling, it is literally a full-time job. There's no easy, like, if you want to actually enjoy wrestling, it's a full-time commitment. I don't watch so much of it, man. Especially if you're in the UK,

it just means late bedtimes quite regularly, which I don't agree with. Yeah. Yeah, I was in an Uber the other day, and the guy was asking if I'd just come from work, and I hate when people ask me that, because, like, I will be, I won't make it up and say,

oh, yeah, I work in a, you know, just something, something ordinary and that they don't want to talk about. I will give them the honest answer, but I know they're then going to go, oh a YouTube channel what kind of videos how many subscribers

and all those questions which is fair enough they're interested but whatever anyway he was asking me like about the channels and I said oh there's two channels and whenever people ask me that particularly taxi drivers

I'm always a little bit more embarrassed to say that one of them is about pro wrestling than I am about video games and like you say Ben like video games almost sort of stereotypically or historically is considered a very nerdy thing but I don't mind now

saying oh yeah there's a gaming channel and then there's you know you know WWE you know wrestling and they're like oh yeah they do the news and stuff about wrestling I that with that stone called Steve Austin I yeah

Stone called Steve Andre the giant How's he doing? Is he winning How's giant haystacks? They always go to Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy because they were Yeah they do giant haystacks Yeah those ones Have you got a nerdy thing

Mikey? I, for a while, this, this is like the most boring milk toast answer, like, it's, but it is just nerdy in the worst way, because it's just so bloody boring, but I got really into keyboards for a while, like the ones you type on, not musical ones. Oh, right. No, sadly, I've tried many times to get into the actual, the good keyboards, but I just, I can't do two hands at once, so I can do chopsticks and that's about it. Yeah, I spent like a year just like learning everything about key.

was looking into all these fancy ones and like ones that you custom make and sold yourself. I was like, oh, I'm going to get a really good one one one day. I'll see at no point did I have the money. So I just kind of got really involved in this world with no payoff. And now I just type on a really cheap one and it does the job because it just all it does is put letters on the screen. And that's all it needs to do. But people literally spend hundreds and hundreds on these things and have meetups where

they all look at each other's keyboards. It's quite very cute. I'll give them that. Car parks. Yeah. I've got a classic IBM in the boot if you want to see it.

Oh, you've got to click on this one. You can hear them coming a mile off. Just clack, clack, clack, clack. We'll go to home-based car park at 7pm.

How many words per minute, finds per second can you hit on this bad boy? That's a lot of lights on that keyboard. Oh, very nice. I'm trying to think what my my nerdiest thing. is um i do i own a lot of um old sort of dusty books that are falling apart that went out of print

in about 1970 um just on on various things kind of just the sort of stuff i talk about on on weird capitia sort of strange history and like i've got a book that i read out of once on a podcast when i was sort of desperately trying to think of a thing like five minutes before we started recording so I grabbed it off the shelf and I read about um it's a book called uh something like strange British eccentrics or something it's so I think I picked a random chapter um but I don't think it like it like was the best choice because like I say I literally just kind of put my finger in the book but so I'd like to go back to that at some point and find some of the really good ones because there's some really weird interesting like historical characters but yeah I've

got loads of books about that and about, um, don't know, uh, I've got one on, um, springheeled Jack, which I think you might have brought once, Mikey in a very early podcast. Yeah, that was old poddy. It's nice. Yeah, just like a scare that happened in London where there was this bloke attacking people seem like, you know, that's the story anyway. And a lot of it is probably all hysteria. But yeah, it's kind of strange historical things. And yeah, I've got all these old books that aren't in print anymore and I have to buy them at kind of inflated prices off secondhand bookshop websites. That's pretty nerdy. It's not a kind of a clique that lots of people are in in the same way the wrestling is, or even keyboards, but it's definitely very nerdy.

I respect it. I respect it. I think you should open up your little collection as a library, but not for reading, but for smelling. I bet they smell so good. Oh, yeah. Some of them smell good. A few of them smell really bad. I think it depends which houses they've been kept in over a long period of time. But, yeah, some of them smell great. Oh, yeah, I want to sniff them, books. Thank you all. Thank you all for your weird, nerdy things.

And speaking of weird nerdy things, who would like to present their thing? I've got a thing a little bit like that, actually, that was sent to me on, it was submitted on Twitter, actually, by plushy labs, at plushy labs on Twitter. And it's good, actually, because this is something I'd seen. I was aware of this already, and I didn't know if it would maybe make a full thing. But I also saw a thing on Twitter recently that's very short, and I was like, oh, that's very poddy it, but it's literally like one minute long. So first, I'm going to tell you, you may have even seen this going round, about the man who invented the saxophone. Did you see this?

No, this is news to me. Okay, well, the best part is that his name was Adolf Sax. Yes, of course. but going around Twitter recently was a screenshot where someone had said they'd just put I'm reading about the man who invented the saxophone and this is quite something so from the early life segment

it says Sax faced many brushes with death as a child he once fell from a height of three floors hit his head on a stone and was believed dead at the age of three he drank a bowl full of acidic water mistaking it for milk and later he swore followed a pin.

He received serious... This child needs supervision, I mean, this child needs supervision and people need to stop leaving balls of acid around their hands. Yeah, well, that's not even... We're only about halfway through. He received serious burns from a gunpowder explosion and once fell onto a hot cast iron frying pan burning his side. Several times, he avoided accidental poisoning and asphyxiation from sleeping in a room

where varnished furniture was drying. and another time young Sacks was struck on the head by a cobblestone and fell into a river almost dying. It's like you, Mikey. It says his mother once said that, quote, he is a child condemned to misfortune, he won't live, and apparently his neighbours called him Little Sacks the Ghost. Wow!

That's got to mess you up, that's not good. Great. Big fan. Anyway, he survived and went on to him at the saxophone, apparently. So there's a mini thing for you, but I've got a proper one here. That's so good. So this is Unsinkable Sam. Again, you may have come across before.

It's a good story. Unseicable Sam, also known as Oscar or Oscar, that's spelled with a C or a K, is according to a probably apocryphal story, the nickname of a ship's cat who purportedly served during World War II with both the Creeks Marine and the Royal Navy, the Creeks Marine being the German Navy. And he survived the sinking of three ships. Here is a picture of unsinkable Sam.

Oh, I can go in the thread. Look at him. Uninkable Sam. Yeah. Beautiful boy. So these are the ships he served on and the stories therein. Bismarck,

The black and white patched cat was supposedly owned by an unknown crewman of the German battleship, Bismarck, and was on board the ship on the 18th of May, 1941, when he set sail on Operation Reinhubung, German for Rhine exercise. Oh, Rhein Umbung, yeah, Bismarck's only mission. Bismarck was sunk after a fierce naval battle on the 27th of May, and only 115 of her crew of over 2,100 survived the engagement. hours later Oscar was purportedly found floating on a board and picked from the water by the British destroyer HMS Cossack unaware of what his name had been on Bismarck the crew of Cossack named their mascot Oscar

and he was named for the International Code of Signals letter O which is code for man overboard so that's nice so then he was on the HMS Cossack the cat served on board Cossack for the next few months as the ship carried out convoy escort duties in the Mediterranean Sea and North Atlantic Ocean. On the 24th of October 1941, Cossack was escorting a convoy from Gibraltar to Great Britain when she was severely damaged by a torpedo fired by the German submarine U563. Crew were transferred to the destroyer HMS Legion and an attempt was made to tow the badly listing Cossack back to Gibraltar.

However, worsening weather conditions meant the task became impossible and had to be abandoned. On the 27th of October, a day after the toe was slipped, Cossack sank to the west of Gibraltar. The initial explosion had blown off one third of the forward section of the ship, killing 159 of the crew. However, Oscar survived this too and was brought to the shore establishment in Gibraltar. then now nicknamed unsinkable Sam the cap was soon transferred

to the aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal which coincidentally had been instrumental in the destruction of Bismarck that was the first German ship

that he was on however Sam was to find no better look there and when returning from Malta on the 14th of November 1941

that's only like two months after the previous ship this ship was also torpedo this time by U-81. Attempts were also made to tow the Ark Royal to Gibraltar, but the unstoppable inflow of water made the task futile.

The carrier rolled over and sank 30 miles from Gibraltar. The slow rate at which the ship sank meant that all but one of the crew could be saved, the survivors, including Sam, who'd been found clinging to a floating plank by a motor launch, which is a little military vessel, a little boat. and he was described as being angry but quite unharmed. They were transferred to HMS Lightning and the same HMS Legion, which had rescued the crew of the Cossack as well.

Legion would itself be sunk in 1942 while the lightning would be sunk in 1943. This cat is, I mean, he's blessed with survival, but he's maybe cursed to sink every ship that he stays on. Yeah, how many lights are? Has he been through at this point? Well, he personally, to be fair, he was only on three of those ships. The other two were just involved in his rescue. So the loss of Ark Royal proved the end of Sam's shipworn career.

He was transferred first to the offices of the governor of Gibraltar, and then he was sent back to the United Kingdom, where he saw out the remainder of the war, living in a seaman's home in Belfast called The Home for Sailors. Sam died in 1955, a pastel portrait. of Sam, titled Oscar the Bismarck's Cat by the artist Georgina Shaw Baker, is in possession of the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich. Amazing.

And then there's a boring little section saying that some people question whether it's really true. It's got to be true. Look, he's there in the painting. How would you have painted that cat if he'd not existed? Exactly. There's another man with an easel and another plank of wood frantically painting that before he drifts away. Yeah, there he is.

One crewman who couldn't be saved. You've got important work. You can get saved. No, I will not leave my easel. When you finish Sam's portrait. So he's turned and Oscar. Yeah, so Oscar was his name when he was first picked up because he was overboard. But then after he survived two ships, they changed his name to unsinkable Sam.

That's great. So there he is. That's him. So I hope you enjoyed those. Yeah. I did, thank you. I feel it's pretty suss, though, that everywhere Sam went, a trail of destruction followed and no one really caught onto it.

Maybe, because obviously he was on the Bismarck at first, the German ship. Maybe he was a plant, and the Germans were like, what will do is? We'll sink a ship near a British one, and they will take this evil German double agent cat on board, and he will, you know, he'll bring bad luck. He was sabotaging British ships, I think, is what we can learn from this. Yeah, look at those eyes. That's the eyes of an evil, evil thing. Have a Nazi. Yes. I mean, he's a Nazi cat. Yeah. Yeah.

I just can't believe. I mean, the ethics of war are a vast issue. I can't argue that putting men through it is pretty brutal as well. But it feels cruel. Actually, once the cat survived one crash, like, all right, buddy, you can have some time on land. But no, let's ship them off for two more, two more fucking trips. Well, I know historically it was You know, you had a lot of vermin on ships But that's sort of the old wooden ones And so I think maybe you did occasionally have ships, cats But by the time World War II rolled around And you had big metal destroyers I don't know if that was still an issue they faced

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, I don't know Maybe there was still some hybrid legacy ships in operation In certain places perhaps And also I think people just sometimes get attached To the idea of a mascot I know that there are some like World War II battalions that had really weird. There was like a bear in Russia.

Like they just had this sort of semi-domesticated bear that they took around with them. And I think there was even like a goat maybe. I think I've seen that in one of the Allied nations. That's a good around me, I guess. Imagine if you're on some sort of secret mission, you're just sneaking along in the pitch black. Meh. What's that a goat on the? the water, what is this? Oh dear. Yeah, I'd be open to a boat animal. It's great. Yeah, sorry,

Sam, you come with us. You got no choice in the matter. Thank you very much, Peter. That was wonderful. And what a, what a handsoming man he is. Mm, indeed. Okay, flights on air Canada. Oh, wow. Myorka, that's new. Oh, nice. But Vienna is a classic Mozart, palaces and schnitzel. Mm-mm. Now you're cooking. If you're hungry, deli brings the heat. Heat. Heat. Cartagena's got sun and the sea to cool off. So does Martinique. And that French cuisine? Book it.

Yes, chef. Wait, what about Lyon? Choose from our world of destinations if you can. Air Canada. Nice travels. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures.

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retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. This episode is brought to by Tron Ares. For the first time, the captivating world of Tron breaks out of the grid. Ares, a highly advanced program, journeys into our world on a dangerous mission, marking human Kind's first encounter with AI beings.

Featuring an electrifying original soundtrack by 9 inch nails. Tron Ares is a must-see movie event, filmed for IMAX and made for the big screen. Experience it only in theaters October 10. Get tickets now. We got a question from, Oi! What's his name? At, oy, what's his name? On Twitter, and they say,

you've been pulled over for speeding what is your best fake excuse to get out of the ticket oh you ever been done for speeding no have you no my cargo won't go faster now i guess now's a good time to get planning i i god i hate to be a caricature of myself but would it fly if I like all like when the policeman came naturally you're going to be quite flustered and sweaty and like nervous and a bit

shifty if I ask you to roll down the window and you do as the window rolls down I just blow it out I've got to go to the bathroom I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I can't hold it any longer I'm there like

Mr Johnson you were going 90 miles an hour outside his real bad It's just been three hours You don't want to hear about The poos I've had in the past This ain't gone well So your plan is to go into explicit detail

About your bowel movement And hope that they just go off Just go away, just go home You could quickly, if you had 4G You could pull up the worst games Ever selection video Just to prove that you do have occasional bowel issues Look, I've got a track record

The Neighbors cat can vouch me all right Get Dave Chapman on the phone please. Hello, yeah, it's a bad marquee. Oh, God. Because that's a very human thing that I'd like to think that takes sympathy in

and just let me go, maybe escort me to a McDonald's or something where I can go and do my business, in the bathroom, not just in the middle of it. But, yeah, I like to think

they'd believe me for that one. I have thought about, this wouldn't work for speeding, but if I ever got in like a sort of a minor car crash or if I, accidentally run over someone's unsinkable Sam or something like that. Oh no.

That my excuse would be I was driving along within the speed limit and I sneezed and I just had to shut my, it made my eyes shut for like a split second. And in the, you know, in the brief moment that my eyes were shut, the cat ran out or, you know, I just sort of lost control. Oh, dear. Because no one can really argue with that. Do you know what I mean? Like, you can't keep your eyes open.

if you're if you're sneezing. Oh dear, yeah. Yeah, you're a man who plans ahead though, Pete. I like that we all go through these imaginary scenarios, but I'd say that's a good one to have in the back of your jeans. Wait, in the back pocket. Back pocket, that's the back of the jeans. In the back of my jeans.

But I don't know what I'd say for speeding. Maybe the problem is if you say something, if you tell them that you've got some kind of urgent destination, like oh my wife's in hospital she's giving birth right now or something they might say all right then i'll escort you to hospital and then you have to go in and pretend to be someone's husband maybe so you've got to be careful like giving a reason because if they if they go with it and they say oh that's fair enough but you know they might say well let me get you there in time then yeah yeah what if what if you genuinely did have a toilet emergency and then you lie about it

and say that you're missing the birth of your child, they escort you to hospital, and then you have to hang out in a hospital for like 20 minutes until the policeman leaves, and then you can drive home slowly to do your poo. Oh, dear. It's not good. I think if I was trying to deceive this officer,

I would either go with feigning a serious medical issue in that I'm just like, you know, maybe slurring my words a bit and looking, like, sort of going in and out of consciousness, you know, faking it, really. Or I'd cry. Those are the two options if I was trying to deceive the officer. Of course, I think we all know that the correct answer is to apologize sincerely. Don't argue or say things like, was I?

Oh, or no, wasn't. Can you quote the exact law officer? Can you give me the number? Can you show me where that's illegal, please? Which paragraph? You accept your dangerous driving course. You go along, you feel a bit humiliated for an afternoon, and then you can go home and learn from this.

But also cry. I would flutter my eyelashes and undo my blouse. Mr. Austin. So seductant. I really like, I mean, like a fully grown blubbering man has got to be a sight. like a real well they've probably they put up a way worse i forget police literally deal with some of the toughest things in in the world so yeah i think a big crying man at the wheel of a car is nothing to them so right so get on with it come on yeah oh thank you very much boys uh mr potter

hello would you like to do your thing sure uh i actually need your guys help with my thing uh because this thing comes courtesy of one of our discord members um and that is Tommy, Trigley-Syriide tea, as we know him, to our friends. Tommy works in a park, a big American park, one of those natural ones with animals in it and stuff, not just like one with swings in it. I'm talking like big preserved landscapes. Yeah, big park is where he works. And he was recently doing some research about some sort of like bear stuff just to,

help out with some educational materials I think that he was putting together and he found a story about someone being very silly with bears and it's from the I think the 1930s and there are some characters that need voices so we're going to read through that I'll send you the photos in a second

and then I'm going to give you Tommy's one two three four five bear tips for for bear interactions because I know we're all interacting with bears at the moment. So it's bear season. They're not about to all go to sleep for a while. So I think it's important that we're all prepared for our interactions with bears. And I'm going to send you these these now. Peter, if you read the red bits and Mike reads the green bits, then we should

all be able to get through this. Are you guys ready? Born ready. Yes. So this is an excerpt from a book about bears and general park keeping. I don't know the full details. Here we go. Another Bear injury story illustrates not only the ignorance that park visitors exhibited for many years in feeding bears, but also how the bear would sometimes end up actually getting the blame. William Rush, the author, arrived at a park road camp one day in the 1930s to find a ranger impatiently talking to a woman visitor. Lady, you mustn't do that. You've been told time and time again not to feed the bear. Oh, he won't hurt me, replied the lady.

He's so cute Standing there He's the gentlest bear In the park Yes I know Assented I'm not sure I'm familiar with that word Assented the Ranger wearily

Oh I wasn't weary Yes I know Assented the Ranger wearily But even tame bears hurt people quite often They don't mean to It's always an accident But the injury is just as bad

It's against the rules Why can't you obey the regulations. Oh, bother the regulations, said the lady scornfully. Oh, it's me again. Can't be me again, right? You rangers are always harping on

about regulations. This bear is hungry. Look here, I'll show you how eager he is to get even a small morsel of bread. The ranger shook S-Y-8, hang on, S-H-H-H. shook his head.

Yes. I really wish you would not feed that bear. He said and rode away without waiting for the lady to demonstrate how hungry her pet bear was. Life was probably pretty dull for this woman, staying all day in a camp with nothing much to do but admire the scenery. Sounds awful, isn't it? Yeah. When a car drove up a few minutes later after the Ranger had gone, she called to the people. Let me show you my bear's trick.

He's just too cute for anything. They gathered around and the woman held a piece of candy at full arm's length above her head. The bear, a great black fellow, rose on his hind feet and easily reached the candy. The woman backed away a few steps and offered another piece. The bear followed, walking on his hind legs and took the candy as before. It was fun to make such a big fellow walk around and eat candy out of her hand. Everybody laughed and applauded. Ho! ha, ha, ha! Such quaint creatures, these bears!

Exclaimed one of the ladies from the automobile party. So tame, ever so cute and gentle. They watched until the woman tired of the game. She stood directly in front of the bear, facing him, but offering no more candy. Go away now. She ordered. No more candy for you today. She did not move, and as the bear dropped down on all fours,

he put out his front feet towards her, much as he would to a tree or any other convenient object to ease his descent. The woman screamed. As his paws touched her shoulders, his claws, she was. Sharp as knives, seeking support, ripped through her clothing and skin. They tore deep cuts a foot long across her breasts, sorry breaths, and blood spurted from them. The woman fainted. The bear backed away and disappeared in the pandemonium that ensued. One of the men ordered an ambulance by telephone, then drove post-haste to the ranger station.

There, the apprehensive ranger heard the old familiar tale. Something terrible happened. A bear just tore the breasts off a woman. Kill the bear! He must be killed. He's a dangerous beast. Kill the wicked bear. So the story went, told by the very people who had but a few minutes before that thought he was cute. A biologist from the... sorry, let me try that again. A biologist from the Seattle Zoo summed it up for me this way. On many occasions, animals are not much trying to hurt us as giving us a mere rebuke or warning. The trouble is a mere rebuke or warning from a bear can put a human.

interaction. Anyone reading the monthly park superintendents reports from the 1920s and 1930s, as I know we all have listened to this podcast, cannot help but be impressed by the massive numbers of bear bites and scratches to foolish visitors caused by their feeding of bears. For example, the monthly report for September of 1924 records 88 bear bites at West Thum alone. How dumb could so many be? Oh, well done, guys.

That's good. I like it in story time. Look at that. I mean, that's a terrible story, especially if it really happened, which it probably did. So apologies for laughing, but also I can't really not laugh at the phrase, a bear just tore the breasts off a woman. Yeah. It's so graphic. Woman visitor is quite the important distinction to make.

Not a regular visitor. No, no, no. No. A woman visitor. She must have been really bored sitting around with nothing but a view. Terrible. Sounds awful. So would you like some tips about how to behave around bears? Oh, yes, please.

This story, this is from Tommy now. This story is about a black bear and a silly old woman. I work in a forest with an emphasis, we don't know how old she is actually. Probably dead now, though. I work in a forest with an emphasis on education, and I was doing some research on them when I stumbled across this. These bears are quite aloof and skittish when compared to other bears like browns, grislies, polars, etc.

Black bears usually only get up to about £300. That's at least six washing machines, I think. They're more likely to get their food from foraging rather than hunting. However, they're still an absolute unit of an animal. It's extremely rare to have a black bear attack, but it does occasionally happen. So, here are some friendly reminders

for those visiting bear country. Here we go. Number one, hike in groups if you can. It's best not to hike alone. That's true, because then you can run away and leave one of your friends behind. Yes, you can, the side. You don't need to be faster than the bear.

Just be faster than your friend. As long as the cat survives and the one who dies is documenting the whole thing, then that's fine. Yeah. Number two, make your presence be known while you're hiking. Make noise and such. I am hiking. Hiking. That's what they tell you to say like hello bear and stuff.

If you don't know what to do or say, I saw a documentary where someone was like alone in the woods for weeks at a time. And he was told to walk around it and just keep going like, hello bears. Like if he thought there might be bears nearby, he would just shout like, bears, any bears there? I love that. Hello bear. I guess, yeah, it gives them a chance to scurry by your voice before the sea you. Yeah, you don't want to surprise them. Hello bear.

If you encounter a bear, don't run. Remain calm and back away slowly while keeping your eyes on the bear. If it is coming towards you, then you can make some noise, hello bear, an attempt to frighten it off. You can throw rocks as a last resort, it says. Point four, travel with bear spray if you can. That's when it gets really close. And finally, number five, as the story told us, do not feed wildlife.

Keep wild animals on a wild diet. Be a clean camp ranger, it says, with a little emoji of a cowboy. So there you go. I know we're all going to be bumping into bears around this time of year. But those are some, there's a harrowing story. there about the breasts being ripped off our woman visitor

and also five points to pay attention to and remember if you encounter a bear. I always love like gardens like this because it registers and it makes sense but I feel like in the moment I'd become a quivering screaming mess. Oh yeah, you forget all this stuff, don't you? Yeah, it's just like...

You turn your back on the bear, run away silently. Not throw rocks. Mace yourself in the face. I think have to throw. Leave me alone. You're going to throw Campinos at the bear. Yeah.

Leave me alone to enjoy this boring week in the woods. It's surrounded by nothing but beautiful views. I hate it here. It's just bears and trees. Oh, dear. Amazing. Thank you, Ben. Absolutely spectacular.

You're very welcome. Thank you, Tommy. Thank you, Tommy. Thank you, Tommy. All pal, James. James with music notes. wearing headphones emoji at Corrosion Audio on Twitter. Oh yes.

Asks with Mikey's birthday recently and Ben and Peter passed the big three-oh. Is there anything you're looking forward to about getting older? Retiring. Retireing. Yeah, honestly, retiring. At age 75 at this rate. They just put the retirement age up again. It's like 60, what is it now?

67, 68. Oh, well, when it hits the big six-nine, that'll be good, but anything beyond that is a bit much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. God, retiring sounds really good, doesn't it? Yeah.

There's not going to be a world to retire into, though. No, that's the problem. Yeah. Ever the optimists. Buying a house and then not having to, you know, paying it off and then not having to pay rent or a mortgage. Yeah. That'd be nice. Fast forward to that.

That'd be nice. Imagine waking up on day. Like, well, every day and just thinking, I can do whatever I want. I answer to no man or woman. I'm going to go be rude to someone at a little chef. Yeah. Yeah. Making minimum wage.

If you, that's why they do it, it's just boredom. Got nothing else? Just go and be a bully outside? Yeah. I can't wait to slowly meander down shopping at supermarket aisles and block all of the things that people want. Just do all the things you're not supposed to. Bears.

I can't wait to vote hard right on all elections just to fuck with the next generation for fun. Yeah. Going full well, I will not live to see the consequences. I got mine. I'm fine about that. I can't wait to drive on the wrong side of the motorway at some point and cause a major accident. Yeah.

We'll be driving around the ring road for 18 hours until I run out of petrol because I'm confused. and don't know where I am. The road just keeps going. I don't know where they go. Yeah. I mean, it's not funny, but, you know, it could happen to any one of us. We'll be doing it.

We'll be driving, right? We'll have Pottietz on, just on loop. Terrible. A fate worse than death. Listening to Pottiers. Fuck. I think two things I'm excited for is being offered seats everywhere I go. That sounds like a real tree.

Yeah. And the ability to shoplift would be great. The one's going to, a sweet old man, go out in like a nice suit or something, I call nice and be very gentle and polite and walk out. This guy's got vegan stuff in his pocket. I'm looking forward to being able to euthanize my wife and only get a suspended sentence for it. That's what you can do.

As long as you're over the age of, you know, about 55. Well, yeah, maybe a bit more than that. Maybe over 60 or 70. Just, you know, if you put a cushion over your spouse's face because they've got dementia or some sort of crippling illness, you're allowed to murder them and not go to jail. It's very tired, that's all. But only if you're an elderly white man.

That's what happens. Yeah, that is what happens. I do hope the sort of cynic. technical tone is coming through. You would hope so at this point if people have been listening to Podiat's for a while. But I am struggling to think of any sense...

Not that I think things are going to go downhill necessarily, but I'm like, things are... I don't know. I can't really think of anything to look forward to age-wise necessarily. What's that? Free bus pass. Free bus pass, yes.

And also Asda are offering soup and coffees unlimited for one pound through November and December, which is, as people were saying earlier, pretty harrowing. But also, that's good. If you're over 60, you can go get that. I suppose I'm kind of on the fence. I mean, we're about to get a little deeper here.

I'm kind of on the fence about having kids. I don't know that I want them, right? Yeah. And I suppose I'm looking forward to either the point where I have had kids and they have grown up and they have gone. And then suddenly I have money and time to do things again. Or just as I get older, I can afford to go on more holidays and buy nicer things for myself because I don't have kids. You know, something like that, maybe. And there's that one dark day in your empty silent house where you're sat in your armchair.

You just wish you could reach out to little Timmy, but you never bore a child and you're all on your own. Fuck that guy. I'm going to eat KFC and play Call of Duty 35 and I'm going to have a great time. slowly pickle myself with vodka and hope I don't die of a preventable disease too quickly. Everyone else's kids will be kicking your ass in Call of Duty 35. Ah, well, see, I'll be retired. Well, actually, no, I won't. We'll be working well into our 90s.

I think we all know that. Yeah. It reminds me, actually, the other week I was walking through a lovely park. It was a nice sunny day in Bristol. I was walking behind an old man. He was kind of slowly shuffling along, and I kept a little bit of distance behind him, just give him space. At one point, he just stopped in the middle of the path, looked up, let out a massive fart and carried on.

I don't even know if he was aware of the fact he did it. I kind of admired that. He goes. Just completely unhitted. What are you going to do? Yeah. What are you going to do? He's talking to your language, Mikey.

He was just, maybe he was trying to impress you. True, true. It works. I'm still thinking about him to this day. You're telling everyone about it. I'm looking forward to the fact that by then, virtual reality, be like super advanced we might have like hollow decks or you know other stuff and i can basically

just lie down in bed hook myself up to some sort of nutrient dispenser uh and then put a headset on and and just live a completely different life and forget all about what is inevitably happening outside the window on in that fateful year oh fingers crossed that yeah that does actually because that sounds grim but you know it does sound like a good way to play you into farms, server farms. Yeah, that sounds great. Maybe at some point. Yeah, well, I was just going to say, if I get, if the Matrix happens and they want to,

they want to, like, plug me in and use my body for something to power the world or whatever it is that they want to do, as long as they've put a really good Oculus on my head and I can wander around a virtual world that's like paradise, I don't care. Yeah. I'll take it. I guess that's the problem with The Matrix. It's like, it's like, what, you could, you could program in any world you wanted for these human batteries. Instead, you give them office jobs and stuff.

Like, just make it fantastic and then you'll never want to leave. Absolutely. Maybe at some point they'll start selling the big Domino's dips in supermarkets, and then it's over for you, fools. Yeah. Might be over for Domino's at that point. Yeah, well, I'm going to buy the fucking Domino's if I could just get the dip and have a good piece. Exactly. Getting us to create your own.

Pete's there and just buy a big domino's dick and then go for your soup and a roll of Andrex and you're sorted for the night Absolutely fantastic Fantastic thank you all very much Now I can't wait to get old Thank you Would you like to hear my thing

I would Yes please Infringing on Peter's bit here I'm also in keeping with the theme of today with animals But I have some breaking poos Oh very good the headline reads mom left in hospital for days

after dog pooed in her face as she slept no oh god yeah very very naughty boy pooed in her face not just on whatever that means you're about to learn about some of the gory details

oh god I'll try. Maybe I might, oh, I don't know, it was pretty grim. The worst bit of it is something that I can't describe via text, so that's something, but we'll get to that when we get to it. Right. Amanda G-O-M-M-O, which is a fantastic last name, was sleeping with her mouth open when she walked as something squirted into it, reads the old, sometimes. Oh, it's already worse than I thought it would be. Oh my God, it's, it's quite, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's equal parts hilarious in harrowing. It's quite, quite something because it's like, ha ha, dog pee on your face. Also, it's like, oh my God, it gets worse. Um, so this is, uh, this, as with all articles like this, this got posted across every local news website out there imaginable.

And, and it was, it was on Twitter a few days ago. That's why I first saw it. This particular article is by Derbyshire Live. Oh, Darbyshire Live. My favourite. A woman spent three days in hospital after her daughter's dog, so it wasn't even her own dog. That's, oh, it's got some sting. After her daughter's dog accidentally did a poo on her face while she was asleep.

How do they know it was accidental? Yeah, yeah. Amanda Gomo, 51, was taking an afternoon nap with Chihuahua Bell when the pooch became ill and had violent diarrhea. Oh, my God. Bella, no. Dogmanise. Very good. The mum of three was asleep with her mouth open.

Oh, God. Top and tailing with Bell, which is quite... That's the dog, is it? Yeah. Oh, okay. How do you top and tail with a dog? Because they don't really go top to tail. They go top to neck.

Well, you put his ass in your mouth, apparently. Weird. Top and tailing with Bell. the messy accident occurred and some got in her mouth she ran to the bathroom to be sick but later ended up in hospital with a gastrointestinal infection

passed on from the pet Amanda from wait for it Bristol yay Bristol Bristol Bristol like Bristol

nice she said I was having my afternoon nap with Bell, like I always do, when I suddenly I'm, okay, just, just warning, this is, this is, oh God, just if you don't like this, just get out now. It's already too late. When I suddenly felt something squirt in my mouth, I rushed to the bathroom and my son was in the shower. So, before I washed it out, I had time to take a quick snap. What? No, what? I'm not, Do you want to see the snap?

It's bad, but it could be worse. Let's play that way. We're not going to put it on the thread, but sure. Absolutely not. If you want to see. I feel like I sort of have to. I haven't had my dinner yet. Before I could wash it out, I was able to take a quick snap.

It's insane. All right, get ready. I'll delete it as soon as you've seen it. Oh, no. Oh, what the fuck? That is, why would you take a photo of that? That's unhinged behavior. That's like, that's unhinged behavior.

that was that was the point where this article just became baffling because um she looks quite calm and collected in that photo i've deleted it for your insanity just looks mildly annoyed about it like no dear guess i got some feces in my mouth whoops i like it's just i ran to the bathroom but it was occupied rather than go to like literally any other water source let me get a quick selfie though yeah i admire it though i i think in that kind of situation i'd of the foresight to get a snap for the gram.

She didn't even throw up like the piece. Fooze. Poohs. She continues, it was disgusting. I was hurling violently for hours after. I just couldn't get a photo. Yeah, of course, yeah.

I just couldn't get the taste out of my mouth. Oh. Amanda's daughter took Bell to the vet where the pooch was diagnosed with a nasty stomach bug and put on antibiotics. but later that day Amanda started displaying the same symptoms as Bell so she rang 1-1-1 who sent an ambulance to her home which is imagine the paramedics turning up to that so what's happened here today

Amanda dog pooed in my mouth have a look at the photo it's the photo look what's that you've got marmite all over your face what's going on paramedics prescribed her painkillers for her stomach cramps and instructed her to drink lots of water to flush out any potential infection after the visit her symptoms became progressively worse and 48 hours later Amanda's cramps had spread all over her body so this took like a real turn

Amanda's mum then rang 999 who dispatched another ambulance and this time she was transported to Bristol Royal Infirmary and immediately hooked up to a drip their doctors diagnosed Amanda with a gastrointestral infection that had been passed through Bell's feces into her mouth days earlier just as a pallet cleanser I am going to drop a picture of the woman and the dog sands pincies so that's it that's nice isn't it cute dog i would never put my face anywhere near any dog's ass at any point don't understand do not understand the logistics of how this happened

yeah i also struggle to believe that this was an accident i'm going to read some choice comments and i think you're in agreement with some of the people here ben but yeah um that's kind of the gist she she got over it. She's doing better. She, uh, in, in, in the article at court, I quote, uh, she'd been drinking two lucuzades a day since her hospital visit. Now she's on the mend and feeling a lot better. Great. Lucazate's a whole fight. Any parasite. Let's burn right through it. Um, so yeah, that's, that's a bit of poo news. I've, as always, the best part of these articles is having a little look through the comments and just saying how

unhinged the local populace can be. Um, I think, uh, oh my God, I can't even read this person's name. Born or ad-heborned or someone from the north-eastern name is important. Just sums it up quite nicely with I really didn't need to know this. Good. One from Jim Cat. Clit on the article though.

So, uh... Yeah, true. Yeah. Got your attention. Jim Cat says, I think bends. Well, no way. He says, accident, my eye. More like a spiteful little hound. She saw the chance and took it. Good for you, little.

dog the woman got what she deserved for putting a jumper on a dog anyway so is he saying that what the revenge of the dog did it on purpose giving her a parasite because she wanted to eat the what is that no no just because just because she put a jumper on the dog the dog was like fuck you last bit but the first bit made it sound like she had different intentions well i think Their word accident is that the dog accidentally, like, shit in her mouth. And that person is saying, the dog didn't do it by accident. Oh, I see.

The dog did it on purpose. Right, right. That's it. That's it. Fruit and Nut says, my staffy Gabby, puked on my face once. God rest her soul. Cute, little. Thanks.

Nice. And I. God rest her soul. God rest her soul. She puked on my face once. God rest of his soul. What a card classic, Gary. This last little section here is just from a random blog online,

some random man on the internet, put his voice out there, kind of regurgitate the whole article and had a little, like, his own opinion bit at the end. He said, I forgive, I've forgiven, this is a quote from the original article, I've forgiven Bell for a little accident, and I still love her with all my heart, Gomor stated, but I will definitely be more mindful of what position we sleep in in the future.

and this writer went on to say the craziest part of this story might be that gummo didn't get rid of the dog in fact she's still sleeping with her dog just not in their normal dog butt pointed at her mouth position dogs get diarrhea sometimes it sucks you clean it up and the dog gets to stay in the house diarrhea alone isn't reason enough to send your dog packing

however when you end up in the hospital because the dog pooped in your mouth that's a completely different story that dog can't be trusted and needs to find a new home wow goodness I mean fair enough quite the stance get out dog

you shit my mouth one last time that's it you're out it was okay the first time but second time no that's that's that is a wonderful story about poo and dogs thank you for listening thank you very much Michael

I really enjoyed that you see why I didn't jump in first here. Yeah. Let the meat of the podcast go through first. Yes. If you would be warned, don't Google that unless you want to see something a little bit gross.

Yeah. It's definitely not as bad as I thought it could be, but it's still. It's just a little bit sickly, isn't it? Yeah. Would you like one final question to end on? Yes, please. This one comes from Jared at Likeer Glove 90 on Twitter. And they say, I know Ben's gone through the Matrix phase before,

and Mikey's been a 4chan atheist, and he's both. Have you had a Matrix phase, Ben? What the fuck does that mean? Did you enjoy The Matrix for a period of time? I've seen The Matrix one once in, like, 2010, and none of the others. I don't give a shit about the Matrix. I just want to rebut my one here. Mikey's been a 4chan atheist.

Excuse me. What? What? I'm not even sure exactly what 4chan atheist means. Is it just an atheist on 4chan? And Peter fucking hates castle. Yeah, God.

Get out of here. That's just, that's the opener to the preface to the question. Okay. Is there any lifestyle or clothing choice you wish you gave a try throughout your youth or young adulthood? Punky Pete, posh potter, Jacobian Johnson,

Kiskees. Okay, it might be because, I think I said that like I liked the idea of wearing a leather duster at one time and then maybe the conversation moved to the Matrix but I've really couldn't give less for shit about the Matrix

Did you ever want to wear a fedora Mikey? Have you ever said that on the podcast? No I mean I think I've said on the podcast when I was very like well far too young to be going on four channels to do that but I didn't adopt you know a fashion or a lifestyle to accompany that Jesus

how dare you So what was the question? Is there any fashion we've ever fancied getting in a role? Any lifestyle or clothing choice you wish you'd given a try during your youth when you maybe had a bit more freedom and flexibility to do it? I, I mean, let's just go into this assuming no one's going to bully you for it because that is naturally the limiting factor here is, oh God, what will the others think of me? I was kind of upset that I went throughout my 10 years I kind of kept I dressed pretty

plainly it wasn't too exciting or anything I wish I really joined in and like the the neon colored clothes like red skinny jeans and converse kind of soft emo look a bit more maybe dyed my hair black a bit I think I would have been pretty baller was my dye my hair black Did you want to hang outside HMV with the other kids? Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those like annoying mall kids that shrieks and laughs and screams a lot. You still do that. You know the goth still hang outside the HMV in Bambri to this day?

No way. That's where I went to secondary school. And there's like a long, like proud tradition of goth and emo and scene and alternative kids who always hung out outside the 8th. HMV and they were there when I visited like earlier this year. Wow, just been passed down from one generation lives on. And the McDonald's has

gone as well that was nearby so I don't even, they've got less and less to be excited about. Any sustenance for the goth. Somehow the HMV still there, they? We used to have the Sunderland bus station there's a phenomenon of the hugging emoes. They're like, they're all just

like a gaggle of like six or seven of them would just like stand around and kind of occasionally hug each other and you'd see them pretty much Every time you went there, there was always a rotation of little, little goth, emo children. Weird. Yeah. I mean, good for them. Hugging is better than, you know, hurting.

True, true. That's true. Shouldn't be judging. We're a judge-free podcast here. Yeah, we sure are. I wanted green hair at one point. I don't know if I spoke about this on the podcast. I may have done ages ago.

But, yeah, I wanted green hair at one point. And I was due to go. with the scouts that summer and I wanted to die it green for the summer and I asked my scout leader and he said no and that was it so no green hair for me I don't know if I can think of a kind of a clothing or style thing that I particularly wanted to get involved in but I I did always quite in a way I think for a certain period of my upbringing I envied my friends who lived like more in the city and used to after school they would then be able to just like go and hang out together in in town or whatever or you know at the hmv or wherever it is you know whether they were skating or whether they were goths or it doesn't that that's not it's the you know their their style didn't didn't interest me as such but just being able to have a bunch of friends on tap and um just like get together on a on a school

night or over the weekend, whereas I lived in a village, as did you, Ben, I know. And that suited me most of the time. Like, I've never been like a particularly sociable person. And a lot of the time, I was quite happy to just stay at home and play games or there were a couple of kids I did know in the village, but, you know, you can't go and do anything that interesting when you're in a sleepy little rural place. But yeah, there were probably certain times in my life. Maybe like after I'd watched, like, films set in cities where kids are hanging out, you know, I might sort of go through a bit of a phase where I'd be like, oh, yeah, you know, that looks, that looks good, being able to just go and get together very easily, whereas for me was like,

going into town was a treat. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So just in terms of lifestyle, whether it's the skaters or the goths or whoever it is, just any one of them hanging out together. Yeah, just having friends is basically what I sound like I'm saying. I want to be hugged by a goth. Yeah, having various, you know, just being able to like hang out at shops or fast food places or whatever, which I couldn't really do in the village, just me and my mates

at each other's houses at best. Likewise, I grew up in a village. It wasn't exactly small, but it was still, you know, kind of villagey. Right. And like, as I say, on the rare trips out of town, I remember really distinctly this one memory. I think I must have been about 12 and my dad took me into Burger King to get some food and I was too nervous to order and so he went up to do it for me and like I had this crushing realisation. I was like oh one day I'm going to have to do that myself. Maybe I'll just live or order food in my life.

I just don't want to do it that badly. Maybe if I had one for me was going in and asking for your haircut for the first time. Oh yeah. I still I still put off haircuts for months because I still hate it. It's a fraud experience. It's what I want to talk about. I mean you don't have to talk about anything if you don't want I know but I feel like I should be filling that science with something and yeah I don't know I still just go cross-eyed slowly and then they won't talk to you yeah to close my eyes very slowly and

fall asleep in the chair I remember going to a museum once that had a you know where they've got like model streets it's like a big street but it's indoors I don't mean like a little tiny one I mean like a full-sized one it's like a one that they've built and quite often they're historical ones so you're going there and there might be like a medieval street

or a Victorian street or something but this one I don't know I think it was maybe some kind of transport and travel museum and anyway they had in one part of it just a modern street and it was nighttime in this street so they had all the street lights on and the sky was just black so it looked more convincing than

you know when they've got a fake blue sky dome and you can just see it's got dust on it and stuff and it's like and I remember walking down on my own in that little part of the museum and I was probably only like 10 maybe and I suddenly got the sense of like oh my god this is what it's like to be like in a city at night on your own and I thought it was really cool

I just remember walking down this like fake street in the dark under these like street lamps and I was like whoa this will be cool when I can do this one day I can't wait to do this. Yeah. It's a really vivid memory I've got, just this fake street. Do you think at some point in the future there'll be a museum where there's a recreation of a street and there's an HMV

and there's loads of really dodgy looking waxworks and they've got black wigs and hoodies on? At Woolworths. Yeah, just crushed monster cans all around. And there'll be all these, we'll be, you know, our generation will be all these old people with their grandchildren going, oh yes, that's what I used to do. Yeah, maybe one day.

Yeah, I hope so. I hope they'll live to see it. You get, you know, 60s, 70s streets now in these museums and your parents and your grandparents are like, oh, yes, the chippy or whatever, so it could happen. Yeah, good. It'll happen to you. Yeah.

Well, fantastic. I think we've done a great job there with those questions. Thank you, Mikey, for bringing the questions. Thanks, Mikey. Welcome. Thank you, everyone, for asking and submitting your questions. Don't stop doing that when we request them. The day's preceding a podcast recording.

Thank you guys for your things as well. And thank you, everybody, for listening. We appreciate you very, very much. Michael's going to tell you all about a store that doesn't exist. That's right. Not at store.orgast anymore. Actually, let's see what store.orgicast.com forshash videos. What does it actually bring up?

Oh, we're secretly on the back end. Oh, it's just, it's our logos there. But there's just nothing there. It's an empty barren wasteland. That's sad. What if everyone goes to that URL and they see a spike of traffic on the back out? You know what? Maybe we should put a phone case on there.

Mystery phone case that we never asked. Just a phone case. Yeah. Just in the US, though, for some reason. So, yeah, everyone go over the store. We'll work on it then, right? Yeah. Yeah.

In the meantime, you can go more on the empty store at store. at youroxcast.com slash collections slash vidiots and go cry it but we will be back soon don't you worry we're not going to leave you there was one tweet from someone the other day who said they broke one one of their poddiots mugs and went to buy a new one

and we'll find there's nothing there oh beans beans indeed we'll try and get it all back though the ones that you know and love as well as some new ones so beans time I'm sure we'll bring back I was going to say we only just fucking released that shit

yeah yeah we'll we'll circle back. Will it be sorted by the time we do the next episode? Unlikely, because we'll probably forget. But we'd consider it in hand. Yes. Yeah. We are available on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash vidiots official. Bit.L.Y. Ooh, L-Wi. Forward slash vidiots official discord. That's Camel case. Vidiot's official. Discord. Go say hello to fellow discord users there. Twitch.tv.

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videos we have got the worst games ever Mass Effect Andromeda oh dear Vidiates live Twitch stream Dark Souls remastered number two the best to ever Straunaut

that's Catastronauts Oh hang on We've already done it No we've not No that's right The extended director's cut Of Peter gets hit by a car I was going to say

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With my small monkey John Deer Cake I'll never forget you Yes And actually that's it That takes us up to the release of this episode Nice Wonderful stuff

Mikey, where are you on the internet? At Paraboy on Twitter is the best place to keep up to date with all my comings and doings. Go there's some nice images and stuff and I stream sometimes on Twitch. Same, same name. Excellent. And Peter, where are we?

We are at That Peter Austin and at Confused underscore dude on Twitter. I'm also on Instagram, but we are both at Team Triple Jump on YouTube and Twitch. That's where we put our content. and also Twitter and Facebook as well if you want our social media. But yeah, go over there

if you want to see things like Rolesboss and cooking and worst games ever. It's still all happening at Triple Jump. They most certainly are. Why not leave a five-star review on your platform of choice? It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. Big thank you, everybody, for listening,

and we hope you're all doing well. Do we have a final question to see us off until Spooky It's? I always forget this is coming It's like oh no brain do something Well that's why we almost always now resort To just one of the topics we've covered in the podcast It didn't always it wasn't always that way

It sometimes it would be What's your favourite animal or whatever But that's the question Goths in your town hangar Yeah Yes Yeah tell us about the who hangs out where in your town What business did they haunt, literally?

Great. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll catch you next time. Oh, I'm going to cough. Bye-bye. Bye. Thank you.