Podiots - Podiots: Episode 112 - Shrek's Hot Knob

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

Peter's hiding in his lover's attic, Mikey's crashed his train, and Ben's getting to know Shrek better. *line break* VIDIOTS REUNION STREAM IV ON THE 2ND OF DECEMBER! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Guys, I was in Latvia over the weekend. So you were. Oh, yeah. Really exciting, beautiful city. Haven't been to many Eastern European countries, I must say. Oops. But I was, you're okay, Peter? Just getting, like, my boys

blowing up my phones while I'm trying to do a podcast. Shut up. Is it Latvia? Yeah, they're saying, thanks for mentioning us. We don't have to pay you, do we? The tourism boards. They're thrilled. There was a lot of Ukraine stuff there which is very nice to see a strong strong sense of camaraderie lots of Ukrainian flags hung from all sorts of stuff which was which was

lovely I went to Riga in particular which is the capital city went to a couple of museums I only took one photo when I was in the War Museum which was a man in the biggest trousers I've ever seen oh hell yeah I'll send it to you in a minute so you guys can see it but for now I I'd like to talk to you guys about those electronic scooters. Oh, yes. Have you been on one? No.

Oh, I'm an avid scooter boy. I ride them quite often. It's kind of a Bristol thing, I imagine. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's scary knowing that that actually affects your actual driving license. So you've got to be a little bit responsible. What?

Oh, yeah, if you caught drunk riding on a bike, it's the same as drunk driving in a car for all intensive. and purposes so not they ever drink drink ride but if i drive erratically then that reflects badly on me wow but you can use one without a license a driving license can you no got to have the license they got you by the by the database well that's good i mean i don't i didn't realize maybe it's different from city to city i don't i've seen like people who almost certainly don't have a driver's license going around on them although that being said i've never seen like proper young school kids on them So maybe you do have to have a driver's license.

Yeah, maybe you do. Because you'd expect to see loads of kids on them otherwise. You got a provisional, Mikey. I do, I do. I've had the provisional for 10 years now and never bothered to learn. Well, I've used it for the first time in Riga, and I did not have to give ID at all. I just had to give an email address and a UK phone number.

They were like, you know what? That's fine. Are you paying for it? Yes, cool. I went in it for half an hour, six euros. That's pretty good. for just for just meandering about i did fall off it though oh oh ben be you one of those tourists who try to hop on a vehicle and just instantly stacked it well i i have scooted i'm i'm a pro

scooter i would say i grew up scooting right oh my you were you were a boot scooting baby somewhere exactly thank you i was i used to deliver newspapers on my little micro scooter around my village and so I'm used to using a break on the back you know where you stand stand down with your non-dominant foot on the back wheel the little clamp thing and that's that's how you slow down the scooter when you're going too fast when I was going 25 kilometers per hour on an electronic scooter I started to the muscle memory wasn't there like it was it was wrong and I didn't feel very confident or comfortable at speed turning corners I was not good at that. So there was an oncoming bike that was hugging the inside of the footpath

next to a busy road and I had to go on the outside near the cars and it was also on a corner and I did a real wobble like I would have gone into the street and those scooters are they're heavy. They would do damage to a car I think. But fortunately it was I didn't fall off into the street which was my concern. I did however go a bit too far. And then I did the worst thing possible at 20 kilometres per hour. I think I was going at the time. I put my foot down on the floor to try and stop. Why did I do that?

So then I had to let go of the scooter, which then clattered to the floor. And then I did that sort of, you know, that cartoon run you do when you're going too fast and you're trying to slow down? Your arm's sort of windmill and you take the big clumpy steps just to try and stop. So I didn't fall over, but I did like a massive bell end. You caused a scene. I really did. There was a woman walking towards, I felt very embarrassed.

It could have been worse in two ways. Number one, you could have fallen onto the cyclist who you were overtaking. And number two, I thought you were going to say that the muscle memory did kick in and you were going at 25 kilometres per hour and then you put your foot on the back wheel, which would have wrecked your ankle, surely. Yes, it definitely would have done. Fortunately not. I did have to do a little embarrassing jog back to the scooter like,

oh, that was close, wasn't it? Back on I go. And then I then went like 10 kilometres per hour for the rest of the time. I didn't feel very comfortable. But be safe out there. It's a dangerous world. Oh, yeah. I've been on an e-bike before when I was on a European holiday.

Me and my parents were away somewhere, and we were standing at one of these Boris bike dispensers faffing around. with the app for ages. Oh, see, when you said there was a man with giant trousers in the museum, I thought you meant a photo of a human being. Oh, no, sorry, no, it wasn't, I didn't just take a photo of a man in the museum, a man perusing the museum.

Yeah, that's what I thought. A historical photo of M.C. Hammer's great, great, great, great, great grandfather. A historical photo. Some would call a painting, but I prefer historical photo. Old photo, yeah. What is it, painting if not? It is good. It's a very good historical photo painting of a man with big trousers, for sure.

I think so, yeah. I'll never forget the mental, well, not the physical image that manifests in front of me when years ago me and my parents were holding in Egypt and we decided to rent like little mopeds to go up and down the beach. My dad got on it and within the first five seconds, you know, did that classic thing where he just pulled back the accelerator and didn't let go and just held on tighter until he sped off into a bush. And it was, oh, man, so good.

And that's how I embarrassed myself on holiday. Is that your main story from the holiday? Is that all you can think of? I felt like I was seven years old. So if any Latvian listeners did see Ben Potter tumbling over off his scooter, do let us know. Maybe you were there. It might be, maybe it was captured on Google Street View,

and someone can add Pollyets Presents, Ben falls off scooter. Please don't. Please don't do that. Hello everybody and welcome to Pottie. It's the official vidiots podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs where everybody brings... Erfee, a lot to talk about. I'm Ben.

I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. all right boys hello all right geys yeah how's it going good getting cold in it

getting cold now proper a geek cord like got to put me jumper on bloody freezing me knackers off oh that felt weird I haven't said knackers in a while that's not a good word is it

when was the last time you were in the north-east Michael God it was last Christmas I think it's been a sparse year for visiting sadly wow I must make up for lost time next year or maybe I'll cram in

like a year's worth of visits in the last month of the year. I was going to say you're not coming back up this year. I will be, but it'll be for like the days around Christmas, so it'll be a proper white Christmas in the north. It hasn't snowed up north and years, has it? I was going to say, I don't think it's snowed up here for a while, not at Christmas time. Gross.

Unfortunately. Peter, you good? I'm good, yeah, I'm fine. I'll be with my family for Christmas, presumably, and it does sometimes snow there because they live high up. high up Hey up Last year It was like the last year or the year before

It snowed on Christmas Christmas night So not Christmas Eve But like it was about 10pm And it started to snow Which was nice And then it snowed like pretty heavily And we had snow

Like kind of at the end of For most of the end of December I think Which was nice God That sounds so nice I can't remember the last time I had a white Christmas

No Let's start a thunderraiser Let's make this one a white one for them and dreams come true. Can we do that? Is that something we can do? Well, I remember like, people, I've heard people say, when they talk about global warming and, you know, sort of idiots who don't seem to give a shit, say, oh, well, at least we'll have some nice, you know, it won't be so fucking cold in the winter. And I've heard certain people say, actually, no, it makes the summer's hotter, but the winter's colder. And if that's true,

then maybe we'll get whiter Christmases. But I also have heard people say, No, it just raises the average temperature all year round. So just two completely opposing claims there, and I have no idea which is true. But maybe that'll be one silver lining to the slow, steady end of the world. Big old soggy Christmas. Yeah, love a soggy Christmas. That's a good one. But Christmas is next month, and we don't have to worry about that just yet.

We will soon, though. Speaking of soon, how's this for a segue? way. Let's talk to you about streamlabs.com forward to slash poddy at's donations. It wasn't that good? That's pretty well-do. Yeah, it was related to. A pretty good one. A completely similar thing. If you donate three pounds or

more, you get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show and you get to join Pod Squad and that's hugely exciting because we then love you forever. That's the social contract that we have committed to. And Mikey's going to start telling you the names of the people. we are in love with right now.

We are in love with for this episode. Omar Zambon, Tiny Peter Sutcliffe, Katie Kinsolo, Kevin fucking Magnuson, flick my Mr Bean, go and ask. Tommy the Wank Engine says, sell a rip memory cards. Is there something in there? Is that the next one?

No, no. It's the three comment. message. Sorry, let me, let me wipe that from memory. Oh, it's a four comment message. Oh, God, spoilers. Tommy the wank engine says,

sell a rip memory card swimsuit because I will buy it, I fucking will, the potty it's squadiate. I assume that's how we signed off that message. Oh, that could be a separate person. The poddy is squatty.

It could be a severed person, yes, most likely. Hey? I might be coming. Some lovely swimwear. Hasn't been... Oh, this could be potentially a follow-on to the potty at Squottier. I don't know, but it says

Hasn't been feeling very oozy. Wrong hole, Oni-chan. More bang for your fuck. Go-Go-Go gadget inflatable cunt. Squatts McChithe. Bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb. Bartek Kubezza 8.

Caroline's Pizza. Lord Brotovitch and Caroline are you Polichichicch? Polichick. Polichick. What's that? That's the name of the person I tried to go and see and then got beaten up by children on the train. Oh, right, yeah. Remember that? I fucking do. We've also got poo, poo, poo, poo, poo,

Freddie Weber, Stephen Skodes, Donak 07, Amy I'd punch those boys wicks, Janet the Wicks Prince Beefcakes Finn Tristam Shave Benson's Philip The Durham McDonald's VIP

and Mr. Macca Thank you very much That's your pod squad for this week Streamlabs.com That's the address isn't it Forward slash Pottie It's Donations Three pounds or more

Get a shout out at the beginning In the end of the show Who would like a question? Well we need to The question is What was your favourite? Goodness me, yeah You're right

Which one? I like shave Benson's Philip I'm going to go squats McChese I think there's a sound that goes along with that one in my head I'm going for Flick My Mr Bean That's good as well The Durham McDonald's VIP holding out on us With the size of that donation

He drives the fucking Rolls Royce What's he doing? Can't even get a big mat meal for that, how we? Yeah, spent all this money Donation. Thank you. Spent all this money in that McDonald's, that's why. The first question comes from

Malfunctioning Eddie on Twitter Who says So Twitter A Loll Now I think we're all in agreement That Elon Musk is a Very problematic man And also a massive prick

But I'm curious To know what you boys think Of potentially the death Of a social media platform Right It's scary, isn't it? Because this is, Twitter's the main one, isn't it? It's,

would you have to jump to Facebook? I mean, it feels like it's about to die. I mean, I, so I talked about this on my stream the other day on triple jump, which my feelings are that I'm, and this very much comes from a place of privilege, perhaps related to certain aspects of my social identity, or perhaps just by pure chance and I've just been a lucky boy. But I haven't had the negative.

experience with Twitter that a lot of people have. You know, I hear some people saying, oh, the fucking bird app, you know, it's a real cesspit, isn't it? And like, it is. I see where it is a cesspit, but I don't seem to get a whole lot of either shit on my feed or people like deliberately kind of atting me and like targeting me and being fucking weird or gross or offensive. And I've not even, even though I've had my DMs open for a very long time, never,

I didn't really receive that much kind of weird stuff. So I've had a pretty good experience with Twitter. And if it dies, I'll be really disappointed because I like it for breaking news. I like it for finding like-minded people who just post interesting stuff. I like it for, obviously, it's useful for our jobs, a trip or jump-hand idiotes. So for all of those reasons, I'll really miss it. And then on top of that, I'm not even one of those people who can say, yeah, but I mean, it is also like a really horrible place to be, isn't it? For me, I see where it's horrible and the ways in which it's horrible, because it very much is, but I'm fortunate not to really get that.

So I just, on a very personal subjective level, love Twitter, and I'll be really disappointed if it just dies a death. Oh, yeah, it's all about what you carve out of the space, and I think over my God, must be like, 2008 I joined. How many years is that? 40, no, it can't be 14. 2008 or 18 2008 oh wow okay Jesus

wow god that's a long time for me actually yeah 14 gosh well yeah over that time I guess I've carved out a nice little fun area where I get to look at cats and funny memes

and yeah I've had a lovely time on Twitter I don't want it to go I've got nowhere else to spew my mind vomit and my funny little memes I make what are going to do as well

where am I going to post my weird shit I have had a love-hate relationship with Twitter a long time where I've often needed to, without publicising it, just take little breaks from it. And it's so interesting because for the longest time, being verified has been such a status symbol on Twitter and now it's meaningless. And I know that they're changing the policy, but you can, I still see people on Twitter who are not taking the piss and, you know,

pretending to be senators or Elon Musk and so on who have just paid for it just to have a little blue tick and I don't know what would possess anyone to do that why would you want that it's it's kind of just not I suppose in a way it's sort of like why would you cheat in a video game like what is what do you get from that in and in I don't know if I'm putting it into words correctly but I know what you mean yeah suddenly my motivation or my desire to have a very if I tick has gone completely. Tainted. And yeah, and in so doing that tainting,

I suddenly, weirdly feel kind of less of an allure to even be present on the platform anymore. I agree with Peter in that I'd be sad if it was gone. And I do use it to keep up to date with a lot of news, a lot of stuff to do with work and so on. but as I don't have Instagram and I never post on Facebook part of me feels like the collapse of Twitter would be like such a convenient out

for social media without having to make it not an excuse I know people have very valid reasons for walking away from social media because it is a drain on your life essence but if Twitter collapsed in on itself I wouldn't look for a replacement

I think I'd just be like well that's it guess I'm not on social media anymore and I don't know how I'd get on with that but there's a small part of me that kind of hopes it dies yeah yeah I'm kind of feeling that too yeah I don't hope I'm not so far that I hope it dies even in a small part but but I know that if it does there will be a kind of silver lining and that yeah it will probably be no bad thing for me to have one less thing that I check on the regular I will still miss being able to just post my stream consciousness and just thoughts on whatever, you know, whether like some game trailer has come

out or, you know, I've watched an episode of something or just post a stupid thing, like, it's nice to have that. It's nice to have an audience. And again, that very much is coming from a place of privilege or or being, being lucky in the jobs that we've had over the years and have built a following on Twitter. You know, your average Twitter user perhaps just has their circle of friends and maybe a couple of like-minded people they've met. via Twitter and you know they might have a few dozen followers um and we're lucky to be able to post something and know that it's going to be seen by some thousands of people um so of course that's something that i'll miss but you know easy come easy go i guess um yeah so i think i think my game plan

i mean i think disconnecting from social media would be nice but i know secretly i crave numbers going up so i don't think i'd be able to but i think my exit plan is uh an email like a mailing list, a newsletter. Oh, the Mikey Blast. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, I know one guy who does that, who, yeah, and it's not a bad way. It's kind of an old-fashioned way of doing it, but, you know, why not?

Yeah, I quite like it. I subscribe to a few, and it's always like a little present. I get really excited over it. That's so interesting. So if you watch a movie you don't like, you would just send an email. Wow, that new episode of Andor was sick, huh, guys? Yeah, every inane thought I have is now blast to people's inboxes. I would sign, I think I'd sign up for that, actually.

Yeah. It's just like having someone talking at you in your inbox at all times, and you can't get them to stop. No. Oh, man. You make a good point as well, Ben, which is that it gives you, it gives you an out without having to kind of make an excuse or give a reason as to why you're leaving Twitter.

Also, from a personal level, it would give me an out to not then have FOMO. Like if I left Twitter, but Twitter still existed and everyone was using it, I'd be like, oh man, I wonder what's going on on Twitter right now? But if everyone, if there was a mass exodus, then I could leave and not think, oh, it was good for me to leave Twitter, maybe, for my mental health or to free up some time. But I wonder what's going on. Because I would know that there's nothing going on because everyone's left. So, yeah, there are some positive.

to this. Realistically, I don't, I'm not convinced it's going anywhere. No. I don't know what the end result of this is, whether it's a radically different Twitter or if it does just collapse in on itself. Because why would any fucking advertisers want to be on a platform where they can be spoofed and people can pretend to be them and post harmful shit? Like, why would you want that?

And so I don't know. Like, I don't know what's going to happen. I think people preparing to move to other platforms, platforms is equal parts sensible, but maybe a little bit premature, perhaps. Yeah. I know that people have been posting in our work group chat about an alternative that one of the founders of Twitter is working on. I don't know how far along that is, but I just, I have no desire to replace Twitter with anything else. And I, realistically, that stance could change if Twitter did die and I was faced with the,

with no opportunity to fire my thoughts into people's inboxes like Michael Johnson plans on doing. But it's just so, it's kind of unthinkable, isn't it, that it would go like this? Yeah. The weird thing is as well, if I was to set up an inbox service, you know, an email, newsletter or something, my first thought would be, okay, well, who's going to be interested in this? Who would want to know this? Oh, I know. I'll just put a tweet out and let everyone know that I now have this thing. but this is in a scenario where Twitter no longer exists. So I'll suddenly be lost as to how to even put stuff out there to people who might be somewhat interested in some kind of project I'm working on.

I know we've obviously got Poddiots and we've got Triple Jump, me and you, Ben. But I certainly wouldn't want to put something out on Triple Jump. You can't just put an announcement video out about some personal project you're doing. And on Podiat's, it would be a bit weird to take, you know, a few minutes. minutes of airtime to say, right, enough about the podcast. Here's an animation I'm working on, unless it was, you know, a kind of funny, meme, potty at's level thing. So, yeah, it's, it would definitely be a different internet experience for probably all three of us if Twitter went down. Yeah. Well, like all in our, all in our own, uh, constituencies, we'll rent out

like a public hall once a month and we can invite the locals to come and show and tell what they've been up to this month. And I'm sure that would be absolutely fantastic. Yeah, I like that. That's good. Wow. There you go. Some healthy alternatives, I guess. Yes, go and talk to people in real life. Or don't. You know, that's also an option. Let's do a thing, shall we? Who would like to do their thing first? My thing's ready.

Oh, go on then. I encountered a thread on Twitter some time ago and added it to my things to bring two poddiets list on my phone. And I think it was just retweeted by someone Because this is not an account I follow It's verified at the moment Hors of Yore At Hors of Yore on Twitter Which I'll read you their bio

It says Sex History A catalogue of jilts, cracks Nightwalkers, Hors She Friends, Kind Women and others of the linen lifting tribe Wow I like she friends

Yeah me too linen lifting is interesting as well. They have 700,000 followers and I think they are just interested in the history of they call it the oldest profession, don't they? They do. Anyway, the person this concerns,

I don't think is, it's been a while since I've read this, I don't recall them being a quote-unquote whore. I think it's just someone whore adjacent. But anyway, it's an interesting story. So I'm going to read you this thread. In 1922, neighbors heard screams coming from a house in the affluent L.A. area of Lafayette Park.

When the police arrived, they found Fred Osterike dead and his wife, Dolly, locked inside a closet. They were certain Dolly had done it, but they had no idea how. I can now send you a picture of Dolly. There are pictures on almost every photo, on almost every tweet of this thread. There's loads of accompanying black and white images of relevant people, which is interesting. Oh, there she is. Wow.

God, I wasn't expecting like an actual photo. I was like a painting or something. Yeah. Not a painting, Michael. An old photo. An old photo, yeah.

So in 1922, we're talking here. Dolly and Fred were both German immigrants. Fred had done well and owned a successful textiles company in Milwaukee. Dolly and Fred married young at age 17 and 20.

But alas, it was not a happy marriage. At least not for Dolly, who had numerous affairs and was not too subtle about it either. One affair that Fred found out about was with a 17-year-old Otto Sanhuber, one of the repair men he employed at his factory. Dolly was into her 30s when this began.

After confronting Dolly with the evidence, Fred demanded she, she end things with Otto. Dolly agreed, and Otto made himself scarce. Here's a newspaper image of Otto. So much accompanying material. Oh, wow, that's definitely an otto. It's a not to her in a scene. Some five years later, Fred and Dolly's marriage had not improved. They moved from Milwaukee to L.A.

after Fred became certain their house was haunted. Things went missing, and he was sure he could hear strange noises coming from the walls. What Fred didn't know, what no one knew, was that Dolly had persuaded Otto to permanently live in their attic, so they could continue their affair. Wow. Weird, eh? Otto cut off all contact with the outside world

and hid himself away, relying on Dolly for food, water and clothes. So, Otto is the one, is he 17? Yeah, he was at the time. This is five years later, so he's in his early 20s now, I think. Okay, because the photo that you've sent us, that's a man in his 40s.

Oh, yeah, I mean, that's probably a much later photo of Otto. That's not a 17-year-old. No, although this is the 1920s, so maybe he was just so ravaged. That's what he looked like. Quite traumatic. So, yeah, she's got a 22-year-old man boy, man-boy, living in her attic, who she formerly had an affair with. He was a worker at Fred's factory, and Fred doesn't know and thinks the house is haunted. Oh, my God.

Later, reports claimed that she would bring Otto. out of the attic to have sex with him multiple times every day. And then she'd just put him right back up there and shut the hatch. Bring out the gimp. Yeah. When Fred insisted that they move house in 1918, because remember he thinks the house is haunted, Dolly made sure that their new house also had an attic, and she snuck Otto into that one too.

By 1922, Otto had been secretly living in their attics for almost 10 years. What? Her husband is a fool. Yeah. But also Otto is a real strange character to be going along with this. I don't know how, well I think as it goes on it becomes more and more apparent that perhaps he was up for it to begin with but now he's at best got Stockholm syndrome and at worst

just a prisoner. So on August the 22nd 1922, a violent fight broke out between Dolly and Fred. Otto, fearing his lover was in danger, left his hiding place in the attic, grabbed a two-five caliber rifle and shot Fred three times, killing him instantly. Oh dear. Killing him instantly on the third shot? On the third shot, yeah. Dolly and Otto then staged the scene to look like a botched burglary and locked Dolly in the closet with the key on the outside. Otto returned to his hiding place and Dolly screamed until the neighbours called the police.

Why would you stay in the house, Otto? Go, run far away. The police were suspicious of Dolly but couldn't explain how she'd killed Fred if she was locked inside a closet from the outside. Dolly inherited Fred's money and bought herself a new house. Dot, dot, dot, with an attic, it says. So Fred is dead now.

But she's still keeping Otto in the attic. Even though Dolly and Otto were now, it says here in the tweet, even though Dolly and Otto were now free to live openly, they continued to stick to the old arrangement. Otto would later say he was Dolly's sex slave. Oh. Would you like to see a, oh, who is this person?

Oh, hang on. The alt text for all these images is fantastic. They're all a bit like this, but let me send you this picture. So that's Dolly If you click on the alt text on the tweet It says Image description

A black and white photo of Dolly And her lawyer at the trial She looks well fucked off Far too much attitude For someone who hid her lover in the attic For over a decade And bumped off her husband She is wearing a long fur coat

And a hat She's clutching her handbag The man in the background Is smartly dressed And looks equally pissed about something That's what you need in your old text, for sure, yeah. So during all this, Dolly had been having other affairs, and she had no intention of stopping.

In fact, it was her messy love life that really did for her in the end. She gave one lover a watch, which she said had been stolen in the quote-unquote robbery. Another came forward after a bad breakup to say Dolly had asked him to get rid of the rifle after the murder. The police arrested Dolly in 1923, and while in custody, she asked her lawyer and lover, Herman Shapiro to feed her, quote, vagabond half-brother who lived in her attic. I mean, it's not funny, but it is also funny. There's a picture of Dolly in jail here. She's looking quite good. Yeah, looking great.

The alt text says, a black and white photo of Dolly in jail. She stood against the Bard Sal. She's wearing a plain smock dress, no hat, and her hair is. loose. She looks quite bedraggled, which is no surprise really. Fair enough. Otto was very pleased to see another human and promptly told Shapiro all about his relationship with Dolly. Shapiro was not impressed and threw him out straight away. Otto legged it to Canada. When Dolly and Shapiro broke up in 1930, he finally went to the police to spill the beans. Dolly and Otto were arrested and charged with murder. On the 1st of July, Otto was found guilty

of manslaughter, but as the statute of limitations had expired, he had to be released. Oh. Didn't know, there was a statute of limitations on, well, maybe on manslaughter, but presumably there's not one on murder. But anyway, he changed his name to Walter Klein and moved to Canada, where he married, and lived the remainder of his life in obscurity. And here finally is a photo of, I believe, Otto and his new partner, the alt-text says. Yeah, Otto and his new wife before the trial.

They're facing each other and embracing. They are both wearing dark clothing and look suitably sad and remorseful. Otto is slightly shorter than his wife and looks like a right little dweeb. I know that's mean, but it's true. Oh man, he's only 17. Come on, hores of yore. Give this guy a break. He was a sex slave in an attic.

The final thing says, Dolly was also acquitted. she took up with a new lover whom she later married and died a free woman in 1861. I don't know if there's any moral to any of this, except maybe that you should always pay extra for the full loft survey when buying a new house, especially if you plan on hiding your lover in there for the next 10 years.

Oh no. Was it 1861 or 1961? 1922 it was. But she died in 1960s. 1961, okay. Yeah, he also says underneath, thrilled so many people are discovering the alt text feature a mate who uses a screen reader has asked me to say that

fun rich descriptions are amazing but please remember it's there for partially sighted people do use it and always make sure your old text describes the image that's nice would you like to see a final image of dolly before her death in the 60s yes she is she's got a fur something around her neck oh is that the same one from earlier I think it might be the same one in the first photo

Yeah, it is. She was wearing that in the first photo. She's only got one. Is she a poor? Gross. Is she a vagabond? The word she used. A murderer.

Disgusting. And a hunter and a poor. Gross. Throw the right, by the way, Mikey. The old text on the first image says, this is not someone you'd think would have a gimp stuff. dashed in the attic. Hey, there we go.

Gimp in the attic. This is all kind of Jeff adjacent. It's weird that there was two spooky beings living inside the walls around the same time. Yeah. Yeah, and she's pretty much wearing a mongoose around her neck as well. Yeah, she's taken Jeff's spirit and transferred him into this attic gimp of the downfall from Jeff. So there you go. I've never heard that story before.

But that's the story of Dolly Osterike by Hors of Yore on Twitter. Wow. Thank you, Peter. Thank you. The next question comes courtesy of at X Pink Glasses username emoji of a cat

and an... What is that? What the fuck is that? A horse? An emoji of a horse, I think. That's their profile name. It basically just gives us the opportunity to do some admin live on poddits.

So I hope you guys are excited for that. Reunion stream when? Oh God, we were going to do it in November, weren't we? Oh, yeah, we were. Oh, yeah. We were going to try and do two a year, and we're running out of year. So you guys got access to your calendars? No.

I mean, I've got a calendar on my computer that I don't have any events written into, but I'm not a particularly busy man right now. You guys free on Friday the 25th? Uh Maybe, yeah What about Friday the 2nd of December? Yeah, one of those two. Okay, let's do the second.

A little Christmas, a little Advent calendar. You want to do second of December? That sounds nice. Yes, so. Friday the 2nd. You head it here first, everyone. Yeah. Okay, so I'm just going to put that in there.

Vidiates. Dream. Yeah. Let me just type it out. I don't know you guys could sort of just say some things while I'm typing this. Oh yeah, of course.

This is a podcast, isn't it? People listen to this. What about? It's where the stream will be. Twitch.tv slash vidiots official and we'll be doing it in aid of a charity yet to be decided. We will, yeah. We will have to decide on one.

I do have the. somewhere I have the worst games ever briefcase I think it's actually I think I stashed it at the office

when I ran out of when I had to put everything in storage so we could maybe that's we've been wanting to auction that off for a very long time oh wow

yeah maybe we could auction that because we auctioned the toilet seat didn't we for charity and watched the live countdown on it

yeah we did we could do the briefcase are we doing it for us or for charity money would be nice but shit now I've said charity I can't back that

oh no hey we can do we can we can do donate you know what we'll do donations for charity like we usually do

on stream and the briefcase will be for us yeah that's my that's my briefcase damn

I'm getting my money back from that all right I'm not do you guys have any idea

how exciting our Friday the 2nd of December was going to be before we decided to put on a stream for all of you guys. I'm owed remuneration, I feel.

Didn't you hear all those plans that we had that were having to cancel? Mikey, it is literally Mikey's briefcase. I'm not giving that away. Well, and we're, we are, I mean, we're not a charity, but we have a, we have a pot, don't we?

Of, like, money that goes back into the podcast. We don't just, like, take every donation and just divvy it up and then go and buy Domit. crash micro scooters in we have to pay for you know things like web hosting and you know

a pod bean we used to have to pay for until recently and when we go we had to dip into the kitty for something recently didn't I can't even think what it was but Dick and Dom Dick and Dom yeah that was another one

yeah you know important admin things that was it ticket the VIP ticket to a dick and don stage show. Yeah, very worthy use of the money. We did spend money on that. That's our one treat, all right? Let's have that.

I mean, not to put any pressure on you, Mikey, for the reunion stream, but you did make a really fun video for it, like a weird 42. I'm looking at it because I just Google Vidiot's reunion to try and find an image. To put on the thread. Don't worry, I'll bring the magic again. They're always made like at 4 a.m. in the morning when I desperately need to sleep. So I'll just force myself into that position again, and then it'll just flow.

Brilliant. You guys, we need to know what charity you think we should raise money for and also what kind of thing you think we should do on the reunion stream. Last time we tried to play some DVD games. Yeah. We reacted to some old vidiates content. And then obviously we had the auction of Dave Benson Phillips toilet seat. Mikey shaved his head.

I did just have a quick sneak peek at Dave Benson's eBay to see if there's anything else we could sell. it on there's the most amazing shoes I've ever seen which I kind of want myself hey just click on these bad boys you'll see let me have a look at these the most swaggy shoes I've ever seen but no toilet seats unfortunately wow they've got zips in the middle

that's weird Dave those are weird shoes man don't he wear them condition used extremely good condition It's had a lot of famous bums in these shoes. These trainers are nice. Yeah, worn twice. It would be anti-backed to within an inch of their life.

They're size five. So, yeah, we'll, we'll, so confirmed, we will auction off the briefcase. The worst games ever briefcase. That will happen. Yeah. And let us know what you think we should do in terms of content for the stream. We want, we want your input. We can come up.

with some shit probably but you know we want to know what you think which charity should we raise money for and we can we can repeat um you know bits of what we did previously you know we will be watching a a bid a bidding war hopefully at the end so we'll do that again and we can always if people want to see us react to more videos we can react to idiots and if you want to see us doing doing playing games if you want to see mikey shave his head again I think the novelty wears off after the first one, doesn't it? Yeah, they're already bald. It's not so good.

Oh, guys, isn't this crazy? Whoa. Bloody Ellie's only done it again, look. Oh, what a God. Okay, so Friday the 2nd of December, Twitch.combe, 4 slash video, it's official. What charity? What do you want to see?

Get prepared to bid on the briefcase that the Portal Goblin sent us. I don't know if we'll be able to all sign it, just logistically, but it's got original artwork from all of us on it. So that should, you know, that should hopefully stand in for that. I'm going to post Dave's zip-up shoes on the thread as well, because these are weird. Just for good imagine. I've never seen. Why have they got a zip on them?

He's so strange. Does he know how to do laces? Can he do that? They're women's shoes, it says. I think there must be someone else's in the family. Oh, this is too complicated for women aren't there? It says at the bottom. Sorry, that was a joke

Oh dear It says at the bottom Gray blue leather and synthetic upper Nice and fancy pattern Zip fastening system Worn twice These trainers are in excellent condition These trailers are not

Did I say trailers These trainers are nice Nice Yeah He keeps trying to sell these VHS tapes Doesn't he He's always got VHS tapes on there Is he still selling a bridge too far

No, he's not anymore, but he's got the, he's got Life of Brian. Okay. So that's pretty exciting. The Pig Panther and a shot in the dark double feature. Oh, that was it. I really wanted one of his pin badges, but the shipping is literally a lot more than the price of the pin badge itself. This guy's selling, he's selling coffee pods on eBay. Five coffee pods for a five.

Why is he doing this? Good deal. I mean, it's Chester Benson Productions Limited, so maybe he shares the account with Chester Benson. Who's Chester Benson? I don't know. Should ideally be purchased by someone who likes coffee and has the necessary equipment to make it.

Ideally, I mean, nice if you like coffee. When was the last time you paid one pound for good coffee? You sold me, Dave. That sounds great. Reason for sale, not. a coffee drinker. Oh. It's embarrassing, isn't it?

Oh, Dave. Well, maybe we'll do a live eBay review of Dave's auctions on December 2nd. Save the day. Maybe we can encourage people en masse to bid on things. Let's find he clear out his shop. Yeah, once we've sold the briefcase, we could move on to Dave's page and just get people to, you know, make the odd bid. Yeah, buy some, yeah, are any of them actually available to bid? You can make an offer.

Someone make an offer for his coffee pods for £200. Watch him melt. Well, there we are. Second of December confirmed, sort of. We'll see. Probably that'll be it. Mikey, do you have a thing? I do have a thing.

I'd love to share my thing with you. It was a spectacular 19th century publicity stunt with a carefree carnival mood it ended in explosions flying metal and death oh my god this is the story

of the great Texas train crash at crush or why you don't do mad stunts on your steam locomotive oh no son oh no you've probably bugged up so yeah this is a fun little tidbit of history well I'm not I'll get into

without spoiling it but my god What a concept this man had for a public spectacle. Don't do it like these, too. Nobody will ever know what inspired that idea in William G. crush his mind. By all accounts, he was a conservative man and a solid citizen not given too crazy ideas. Perhaps he was inspired by a similar spectacle done several months before near Cleveland, Ohio. Maybe the idea occurred to him just because his company couldn't figure out how to get rid of some obsolete locomotives. Crush worked as...

Don't worry, I will tell you actually what happened. At some point, I think I wrote it in here. Yeah, I did. It's in the next paragraph. I was going to keep reading this and not actually explain what happened. Oh, dear. Crush worked as a passenger agent

for the Missouri, Kansas and Texas Railroad, commonly referred to as the Kiti line. In the 1890s, the Kiti started to replace their 30-ton steam engines with larger, more advanced, 60-ton units. This left almost 50 locomotive for which the railroad had no use. Some were sold to logging camps.

Others found the way to gravel companies. But still, there were plenty left. So what do we do with these leftover trains? Stunts. Mad stunts, right? Crush's proposal was to take two of the obsolete locomotives and put them on a track, facing each other a couple of miles apart.

The crews would then fire the engines up, get the trains moving and jump off the trains would then race toward each other picking up speed until they met in a fiery and spectacular crash fantastic that's like what six-year-olds do with their toy trains in real life this man's yeah this man's actually gone and done it I mean hey I'd so go and see this but I mean as we'll learn maybe maybe wasn't the best idea I mean If you couldn't tell already, maybe crashing two trains into each other, maybe not the safest thing to do, but, hey, whatever, float you boat. The railroad would charge nothing to view the man-made disaster,

but would profit from tickets sold for special excursion trains running to the site. So, yeah, this is, I guess this is in promotion of trains. Come ride this lovely train to watch two trains crash. Hell yes. Do you get to be on one when they crash? no sadly but i mean maybe you paid extra you slipped someone a five or they'd let you jump in there the company accepted his recommendation and put crush in charge of the project three engines were chosen to be to be prepared for the crash with one in reserve each train

was gone over carefully so that there would be no mechanic of failures on crash day yeah you won that no that'd be to want these trains to fail before we crash into each other Before the crash, the engines took a tour to drum up business. We had a good time before the wreck, though, remembered Barnes. You see, in order to advertise the event, we toured all of Northern Texas with one of the trains. Oh, wow. I mean, to be fair, pretty big place, but come on, you can at least do a two-state tour. We went to Waco, Denison, and all those towns along the Katy.

Thousands of people came to see the engines at each stop. bear in mind this is literally this is just a normal train at this point I don't know why anyone's coming to see a normal train pulling to a station just saying one day this will crash into another train just not today

for here's a taste of how big the train is the final resting spot was chosen in McLennon County Texas just 15 miles north of Waco near one of Katie's main lines to the to beat oh that's English

just 15 miles north of Waco, near one of Katie's main lines, to be the crash site. Here, in a natural amphitheatre formed by three hills, four miles of track were laid and a grandstand set up for the honoured guests to come. The Katie expected a large crowd, so two wells were drilled at the site and pipes run to several hundred faucets. A large tent, borrowed from the Ringling Brothers Circus was set up to serve food, and politicians decided to take advantage of the crowd. by giving speeches because my god what a metaphor i give a political speech and have a literal train crash

happened behind you the organizers expected between 20,000 and 25,000 people and built a special railway station at the site for the arriving passengers a sign there proclaimed the station as crush Texas on the day of the event september 15th 1896 people started arriving in droves the special trains, taking people to the event, were so full that some brave souls rode on the roofs of the car. It does sound fun, but no thank you. I mean, geez, wait until you get your thrills at the crash. Not on the journey there, ladies and gentlemen. The crowd swelled to between 30,000 and 40,000 people.

And Crush, for a few hours, became the second largest town in the state, which is, holy hell. Is this literally just wagging people off into the desert, no infrastructure except for a couple of wells and a big tent and get them to watch a train crash? Is this the first fire fest? Yeah, is it there? Yeah. Apparently, this wasn't even the first time people had crashed trains together, as we'll find out in a little bit. Oh, good. Yeah, this is not an original idea, unfortunately.

So while the crowds gathered, the engine crew started checking their trains over. Speed tests were conducted on each to help predict the exact point of collision. Bear in mind they're doing this supposedly while the crowds are gathered. Not doing this days or weeks before. Ah, let's figure out on the day. It'll be fine. We'll be all right in the night. One concern was whether each of the engine's boilers would hold up under the stress of the crash.

Since steam takes up 1,675 times as much volume as water as the water it came from, this expansion creates a tremendous pressure inside the boiler. Do you see where this is going yet? Do you see what happens here? In 1912, a steam locomotive being ready for a run at the Southern Pacific Randhouse in San Antonio had its boiler rupture for unknown reasons. The resulting explosion levelled most of the buildings in the railroad yard and much of the surrounding neighbourhood.

A house and its owner seven blocks away were crushed by the front end of the local. locomotive as it fell from the sky. Jesus. So, yeah, that gives you an idea of, that's one steam engine going pop. Oh, no. It was clear that if one or both of the boilers were to explode during the collision, the event might be too dangerous to stage. Crush had gone to the Katie's engineers and was assured that the boilers on the engines

were designed to resist ruptures, even in the event of a high, speed crash and it would be virtually impossible, virtually impossible for them to explode. I'm telling you it right now, it's, oh, it's going to be great. The trains is going to go crumple and fold on each other and that's it. It's great. It's fine. Reassured, Crush went ahead with the event, though except for reporters and honored guests, spectators were to be kept back a minimum of 100 yards from the track. I guess that's like the length, I mean, very odd reference for UK people but that's the length of an American football field roughly um it doesn't I don't know even that that's still pretty close of anyway we're on to we're on to the the big

moment now the crowd grew and grew all day and some 300 policemen were brought in to keep them all in order at 5 p.m. one hour late the two trains were brought together at the expected point of collision so that photographs could be taken. Then they were slowly backed up the track to their starting locations. When in all readiness, when in all readiness crush, who had been overseeing the event from the back of a white horse, true Texan, what can I say, who had been overseeing the event, sorry, they've been overseeing the event from a back of a white horse, waved his hat and the crews in the locomotives through the throttles to full. We cut the reverse lever back to second notch, stayed with the engine for 60 in exhaust.

That's four turns of the drivers. And jumped, recalled Barnes. Those were good engines. They really got up to speed. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a good engine now. The engines raced towards each other. By the time they closed the distance, which took just two minutes,

they were going at an estimated 45 miles per hour. The smoke was pouring from their funnels in a great black streak, and the popping of the steam could be distinctly heard for the distance of a mile reported the Dallas Morning News. The rumble of two trains faint and far off at first

but growing nearer and more distinct with each fleeting second was like the gathering force of a cyclone. Nearer and nearer they came. Boom. The trains hit very near

to the expected spot. What wasn't expected was that the boilers on both locomotives exploded like twin bombs. Oh, God. Oh, how could that have happened? Wopsie. Virtually impossible, I'm telling you.

There was just a swift instance of silence, and then as if controlled by a single impulse, both boilers exploded simultaneously, and the air was filled with flying missiles of iron and steel, varying in size from a postage stamp to half of a driving wheel. It's an interesting landmark. Surely there's something that's whole. That's also the size of a driving wheel, but...

Half of. Yeah. The flying metal had deadly effect. People ran in horror. Two people were killed. Six other people were seriously injured. One of the official photographers lost an eye. The trains themselves, unsurprisingly, were completely destroyed.

Except for their last cars, because behind each of them, they were carrying six cars. So if you wanted to take a ride, Ben, I recommend getting in that sixth car at the end. You'll be fine. Yeah? Okay. Oh, yeah, there you go. Get some ideas. Got on your mad scooter and do a stunt off the back of it?

It'd be sick. Just look out for those half-driving wheels flying from the sky. And only those ones. That's specific size. Yeah. After the crowd recovered from the blast, it swarmed over the wreckage to find souvenirs. It's brilliant. Here's an eye.

I found an eye, everyone. Yay! Nobody knows why the ball has exploded. I can't believe that to send it. It's because you drove them into each other. Only this tragedy could have been avoided. There's no explanation. I want that.

All we can do is heal. It's the last thing we wanted to happen. Afterward, railroad officials speculated that each train traveling 45 miles per hour and hitting head on was the same effect as if a single train traveling 90 miles per hour had hit a solid wall. Well, experts estimated that at a date. Yeah.

They brought in a physicist from Harvard to work out that. It's got 45 and there's two of them, times about a point two. Oh, yeah. They suggested this was a much greater impact than they had expected, causing the explosion. Physics shows that this is faulty reasoning, however. Oh. The real effect was no more than a single... The real effect was no more than a single train hitting a wall at 45 miles per hour,

perhaps even less. Oh, look for me. it does make sense doesn't it's Newton's law so because they go it's like if you hit two two billiard balls at the same speed

against each other they just stopped don't they so it's kind of like I guess it counteracts you know it's like an opposite force maybe there you go should have you on the team

damn it well I got it wrong to forgive me well you might be more precautious at least so that wouldn't have been a bad thing maybe in any case

the stunt expected to generate goodwill for the railroad backfired. William Crush was fired that very evening, proving that, at least in the 19th century, there is no shit's thing as bag publicity. He was rehired the next day and worked for the company until he retired.

Brilliant. It's like, put him on a little sabbatical, you slap on the wrist. You're all right, let you back, let you off. It was pretty badass, actually. You only killed two people, you know. That's fine. Out of like 40,000 people, that's good numbers. That's fine.

That's pretty good. The railroad quickly paid, claims against it and the memory of the crash at Crush slowly faded. Despite the disastrous results of the crash at Crush, other railroads continued to stage locomotive collisions in the years to come. Oh, God. Just learn your lesson, but, fortunately, no more boiler explosions followed these dangerous stunts. So it's a one-time pop and boy, what a pop. It's quite an American sort of spectacle, isn't it? I mean, I'm sure it probably also happened elsewhere in the world, but you can, I can imagine

Texans turning up to watch trains crash into each other. They'd certainly watch that nowadays, if two bullet trains were sent out of each other. Oh my God. Imagine the, but it's probably be safer because there's no boiler in it. Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't Google images of this before. Turns out there's images of the crash. Wow. It looks kind of like what you'd expect. This is a very tiny JPEG, but you can kind of make out. to trains crashing. Oh. Wow.

And look, there's the piece of metal that hits this photographer in the eye. Oh, I'd say that's at least the size of half a drive wheel, that piece of metal. I describe it as four subway sandwiches stacked together, but we'll have our differences of opinion. Yeah, that's the fun story of the crash at Crush. What a delight. Go take your family. It'll be a really good day. Sounds great.

You might come home with a bit of shrapnel. Great. Thank you, Michael. Thank you, Mikey. Thank you. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures.

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Learn more at dynamic.ca.c slash active. Here's another question. This one's from Callum Montague at Random Hero Zero on Twitter. You can stop any crime from ever being committed again. The catch is you have to commit this crime yourself for this to happen and serve the sentence. Choose wisely. Oh. Oh, wow.

See, in the first half of that question, one immediately came to mind. I've already moaned about this probably twice on Pollyets before. And then I was like, no, I can't waste getting rid of one crime on something so trivial. But then when it was like, but you have to do. do it, I was like, perfect. My trivial crime that I would happily do to stop everyone else doing it is drop some litter or do some flight as well. I would, that is a good thing. I fucking hate it so much. Like, and you know, if you're driving along a country road and there's like a mattress in a lay by or something or a fridge, I would do that the once if I, and pay the thousand pound fine

or whatever it is if it meant that no one would ever do it again easily. Absolutely. Plus Peter Austin, he died for our sins. That's the thing, though. You would never get any credit for this. So what's ethically right to do a murder, to stop all future murders? That's the thing, for the price of one murder, to stop all others.

But you have to do it, you know, like, there are a lot of horrible crimes out there, but, you know, the worse it is, yeah, the bigger the payoff, because you eradicate it, but also you have to partake in it. And you have to be historically the last person to ever do it. And everyone would just think you were the last bad person.

Yeah. Rather than a hero. That's the reason all my mind can go to is, I just think I love doing this. I don't want to banish it, but stealing pine glasses from pubs. No, I can't say that because I've got like half of my cupboard is just stolen pint glasses. No, no, I'm going to keep that. That crime can stay.

That's a good crime. That's one of the crimes. I would scam one elderly person. That's good. How would you scam them? Are you like the most minute scam ever? Well, I'd probably call them or text them. And, you know, I'd send them a message and say, hello, it's your son.

and I need iTunes gift cards or I can't fly home because I am some, you know, classic scam. Classic. Hi, Mom. Son here. New phone. Please send iTunes gift cards, lots of love, son. Yes. From Sun.

I need to buy more iPhone games, please. I'm struggling to come up with a crime here. Ah, I'm just going to go street, graffiti. I'm going to do one big bastard mural and I'm going to clean our cities of this disgraceful, quote-unquote, art. Oh, and we're going to live in a pleasant utopian. Bristol's image is going to just transform completely. I'm going to put Banksy out of business, good riddance.

Prick. The scoundrel. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and maybe, I do one big last mural. Just a big, big. old dick yeah

the biggest dick you've ever seen on a really big building I'd like oh yeah I found like

a dick shape building and I'd fill it in to become the dick and that would be the fight

that would be like that's it he's completed it we can never do it again wow

that'd be amazing between us me and you have cleaned up all cities Mikey I guess the only thing

that remains is people pissing in doorways yeah but that's a right yeah Not a crime.

So, you know, have more public toilets. That's the answer to that. Says quite a lot about all of us, I think, our answers in that none of us are willing to step up and do a genocide. Nobody wants to murder. Yeah, no, none of that. It's quite selfish, really, isn't it? That the sentences that we're choosing are quite lenient.

I think they'll have an impact or shoot. I mean, yeah, it's not the same as you're getting rid of murder, but... You don't want to do a genocide? Why wouldn't you... Why wouldn't you do a genocide? It's just what's... Countless people. You're not going to do one little genocide.

That's a shame, isn't it? Selfish. How many people do you have to kill for it to be a genocide, is the question? Well, it's usually a targeted mass murdering of some group, right? Yeah. So, depends on what group you would want to target. Yeah. I guess so.

Don't know. Podiat's listeners. Yeah. Bye. Yeah. That's it. So if all potty its listeners are on board. Because realistically, if one of us does a genocide, the other two can't carry on

doing potty it's, they're, it's a toxic brand, right? There's going to be a stink hanging over that. Yeah, we have to launch a new podcast. If all the poddiots listeners are on board and are willing to be genocided but pretend that they're not, because otherwise it's not really a genocide. It's a death cult, isn't it? That's different. Yeah.

Yeah, sort of masochism, sex game or something. Exactly, yeah, there could be a sexual aspect. Point is, if the audience listeners are willing to be genocided and pretend that they're not, then, yeah, two birds, right? Yeah, why is it only me that has to take the sacrifice for this one? We're in this together to cure a millennia of generations to come. Yeah, I think that's it, right? We've solved it.

We haven't solved anything, but it's time to move on. I've got a thing here. Great. We all love Shrek, right? You know the big green man? The big Scottish green man, yeah. That's him. We've seen his movies.

I'm fairly sure that Michael Johnson has seen the musical. Absolutely. It's fantastic. Okay, good. I thought you had. For the longest time, though, I didn't know what Shrek was based on. And I know that this isn't rare knowledge, but it is based on a book

and I didn't know this and so I bought it it's a book by William Steak called Shrek with an exclamation mark and it cost me £6.99 and £99 from Amazon. I'm going to read it but I want you guys to get stuck in because it's tonally quite different

from Shrek the movie and the big Scottish man that we know and love I've found a version on the internet a PDF that I can send you guys but I paid money for this book so I'm going to fiddle with pieces of paper to read it and turn pages and everything so otherwise I feel like I've wasted my money

which quite frankly I'm not willing to do the question is though heads or tails oh Mikey you call I'm going to go good old tails oh fuck

that is tails Mikey would you rather play Shrek or assorted other characters I'm going to go assorted other characters I feel like Peter's going to do Shrek more justice all right Peter have you picked out Shrek voice if you think I'm doing Scottish you've got another thing coming

but sure I'll I won't know until I start speaking what it's going to be but yeah okay that's interesting this is Shrek before he was Scottish Or you can do whatever you want here. Sure. So the back of the book says

Shrek wasn't always a movie star. Discover the ugly truth about everyone's favorite ogre. Shrek is an ugly ogre who leaves his swampy childhood home to see the world. He scares everyone and everything he meets. Even the flowers avoid his gaze and he loves every minute of it until he meets a terrifying princess who is his perfect match. So you guys got the PDF there? I have.

When I scroll down to page one, I just couldn't hear you anymore. because my computer was, like, loading the page and disc I didn't like it. So I'm going to quickly scroll down each page and get them all loaded up. There's some big illustrations in this, so you're going to want to load these. I will do the narration. And you can see the picture there of Shrek. He's sort of, he's got the ears. Yeah.

He's got a slightly funky outfit, and he appears to have hair as well, a little bit. They're trademarked those ears. Dreamworks owned the trademark of the Shred. is. I have seen this, I was aware it was a book, and I've seen the front cover before, but I've never seen inside. Okay, well here we are. We're all going to go on an adventure together.

Please don't sue us, copyright holders of this book. His mother was ugly, and his father was ugly, but Shrek was uglier than the two of them put together. By the time he toddled, Shrek could spit flame a full 99 yards and vent smoke from either ear. With just a look,

he cowed the reptiles in the camp. Any snake dumb enough to bite? him instantly got convulsions and died. Did you just say in the camp? What did I say? Oh, is it swamp? Get out of my camp. Oh, no, get out of mine camp.

Oh, dear. Oh, no! Oh, no. On to the next page. One day, Shrek's parents hissed things over and decided it was about time their little darling was out in the world doing his share of damage.

So they kicked him goodbye and Shrek left the black hole in which he had been hatched. His parents, they're human-ish. Sort of, yeah, they look a bit Roald-Darl-esque. Yeah, they do. Looks like a lemon and a grapefruit or something.

Oh, yeah, Spiky Willie. Spiky Willie there, oh yeah, there was a spiky Willie. Not on any of the Shrek, so it's a plant on the floor. Why doesn't the Spikey Willie get a voice? Shrek went slogging along the road, giving off his awful fumes. It delighted him to see the flowers bend aside and the trees lean away to let him go by.

Big stink point Turn the second Turn the page In a shady copse He came across a witch She was busy boiling bats In turpentine and turtle juice And as she stirred

She crooned This is the way I cook my bats Stir my bats Taste my bats Season my bats in the morning Stew and brew and chew My bats Diddle and fiddle my bats

Early in the morning What a lovely stench there he is it's Shrek it's Shrek Shrek cackled The Witt also sorry Diddle my bats

Diddle fiddle And faddle my bats It's not just diddling going on It's in a different context When you get the other ones in it When you fiddle and faddle That means a totally different thing It's a completely different thing

The Witch specialised in horrors But one single look at Shrek Made her woozy When she recovered her senses Shrek said Tell my fortune too, madam, and I'll let you have a few of my rare lice. Splendid!

Crowed the witch. Here's your fortune. Oh, God. Ochkey-potchky-itchie-pitch. Pay attention to this witch. A donkey takes you to a knight. Him you conquer in a fight. When you wed a princess who is even uglier than you.

Ha ha ha! And cockadoodle, the magic words are apples spruedle a princess Shrek cried I'm on my way Peter have you seen Big Mouth on Netflix

I've seen one episode well I'm not even one episode You showed me bits of it once About two years ago Oh wow Okay you sound an awful lot Like a character called The Shame Wizard

And people who've seen the show Will know what that is So keep it up Thank you Shret continues soon he came upon a peasant singing and sithing. You there, varlet, what the hell is that? I don't know.

You there, varlet, said Shrek. Why so blithe? The peasant mumbled this reply. I'm happy sithing in the rye. I never stop to wonder why. I'll hone in sithe until I die, but now I'm busy so say goodbye. Yokel! Shrek snapped.

What have you in that pouch of yours? Oh, it's just some cow fessent. Fessent peasant? What a pleasant present. The last thing the peasants saw before he fainted was Shrek's glare warming up his dinner. Shrek ate and moved on. He's doing it with laser eyes. Yeah, he's got laser eyes in the court. Wow.

So, you know, the rich fiction of Shrek continues to grow. He's a kryptonian, is he? Could be. Wherever Shrek went, every living thing. creature fled. How it tickled him to be so repulsive. You see them all? There's some pigs. Yeah. Rabbits running on two legs for some reason. Yeah, they're a bit weird looking. It's strange. Fat raindrops began sizzling on Shrek's hot noodle. Knob, it says. It's knob. Really? It says nob. I'm Shrek's hot knob.

It says knob! I've got a, I've got an, wow, okay. I've got the UK version because on the, on the back, it does actually say, Discover the Ugly Truth about everyone's favourite ogre, but it's OU, so it's the UK spelling, the British spelling of favourite. Oh my God. What does knob mean in America? Fat raindrops began sizzling on Shrek's hot knob.

I assume that's his nose, but Jesus. What the fuck? Okay. That's fantastic. Brilliant. So are we assuming that he's very aroused now in this next scene? Yeah, he's got a hot knob. It's sizzling hot knob. Did you ever see somebody so disgusting?

Said lightning to thunder. Never. Thunder growled. Let's give him the works. Lightning fired his fiercest bolt straight at Shrek's head. Oh, no. Straight at, straight at Shrek's knob. Straight to Shrek's dick.

Shrek just goveled it, belched some smoke and grinned. Lightning, thunder and rain departed. Wow, cowards, that was it, huh? In high spirits, Shrek stalked on. At the edge of a woods, he found this warning nailed to a tree. I don't know if you want to give the warning a voice. I'll give the warning a voice. Harkin!

Stranger! The danger! If you plan to stay the same, you'd best go back from whence you came. Shrek, of course, swaggered right past. Turn on. Page. Oh, wow.

And sure enough, a little way into the woods, a whopper of a dragon barred his path. Shrek smiled and bowed. The dragon slammed him to the ground, but Shrek just lay there. He was amused. The erasable dragon was preparing to separate Shrek from his noggin.

Does it say noggin in your version? It does. No, it says cock. Cork. But Shrek got him between the eyes with a putrid blue flame. There's a new power. The poor dragon thudded over,

unconscious for the day. It's very strangely written, isn't it? Yeah. Stalked on. An hour later, Shrek himself was unconscious. He had fallen asleep along the way. He dreamed he was in a field of flowers where children frolocked

and birds warbled. Some of the children kept hugging and kissing him. Oh, and there was nothing he could do to make them stop. Oh, no, I don't like this. No, no, no, that do I. He woke up in a daze babbling like a baby. It was only a bad dream. A horrible dream.

Turn the page. Yeah, 699. Shrek wandered on. He was wondering if he'd ever meet his princess when he saw a donkey grazing. Was this donkey the witch? Was this the donkey the witch had foretold? Shrek hurried over and tried the magic words. Oh, apple strudel.

The donkey raised his sleepy eyes and braid. I gaze in the green and I gaze in the green. Wait, sorry, no, let me do that again. I got all up in my own business. I gaze in the green as I get. Oh, God, give me a minute. I'll get there. This is why you need the paper version in front of you.

I would be delivering a better performance then. Sorry. I gaze in the green as I graze in the green Oh god That was it, that was right It's okay You don't have to do a perfect take Mikey It's done, it's done

That's true Get me in the booth right now Seeking out the clover I lays and spend my days in the green A chewing, champing rover You jebbering jackass Shrek screamed Aren't you supposed to take me somewhere

Does yours say jackass Ben? No, it doesn't They just say jackass. That's a shame. Aw. I am to the nutty knight who guards the entrance to the crazy castle where the repulsive princess waits. Then take! Shrek shrieked and he hopped onto the donkey's back.

Another page there. They soon came to a drawbridge where a suit of armour stood. Shrek knocked on the breastplate and demanded, Who dwells inside this armour? also in yonder castle. In here, a fearless knight, in there a well-born fright. Was the answer. It's my princess, said Shrek.

The one I'm to wed. Over my dead body! Roared the fearless knight. Over your dead body. Shrek agreed. Not so brave thou churlish knave. countered the knight Do me the honour and step aside

So Shrek can go to meet his bride Shrek commanded Magician's mercy I feel like my voice has changed every line here It's fine, go with it It's fine, yeah, it's all good Magicians That's even more different

Magicians mercy Plummers lead I smite your stupid scabby head And the knight Smote Nice What does that mean? No, it's not gone well for him.

Shrek popped his eyes, opened his trap, and bellowed a blast of fire. The night red-hot dove into the stagnant moat. With a nasty snort of triumph, Shrek crossed the bridge and marched into the castle, and there, for the first time ever, he found out what fear was. Oh. All around him were hundreds of hideous creatures. He was so appalled he had barely managed to spit a bit of flame.

All those horrid others spat back He started to run They all ran He lashed out at the nearest one But what he struck was glass Shrek was in the hall of mirrors They're all me He yodled

Oh yodled Oh me He faced himself Full of rabid self-esteem Happier than ever to be exactly What he was He strode on in and his fat lips fell open

There before him was the most stunningly ugly princess On the surface of the planet Are we missing a page, Mikey? I think we're missing a page Oh interesting Then repeat after me, Peter Apple struddle Apple strudel

Shrek sighed Cockadoodle do Mikey Cockadoodle do Coo do cooed the princess Oh that's oh no that's not Oh that's the princess voice now I guess Okay this is what Shrek says repeat after me Peter

Your horny warts, your rosy wends I beg your pardon Your horny warts, your rosy wends Your rosy wands Wens Wends, Wend-N-S Okay Your horny warts

Your rosy wens Like slimy bogs and fusty fens Like slimy bogs and fusty fens Thrill me Thrill me Thrill me Thrill me Wedding I've ever been too

And Michael repeat after me Your lumpy nose, your pointy head Your lumpy nose, your lumpy head Pointy head, your pointy head Pointy head, sorry Your red hot knob Your wicked eyes, so livid red Wicked eyes, so livid red

Just kill me Just kill me That's beautiful, that's so nice Have you got the next page? Oh, ghastly you Yes, that's it There we go Oh ghastly you

With lips of blue Your ruddy eyes with Carmine Sties Enchant me I could go on I know you now The reason why I love you so You're ugly

Fantastic Said the princess Your nose is so hairy Oh let us not tarry Your look is so scary I think we should marry That doesn't rhyme At all is it really

No it's A-B-B-B look Hairy and scary Tarry and Mary I think it should just be Your nose is so hairy Oh Let Us Not Terry Yeah, I agree. Just lean into it.

Your look is so scary. I think we should marry. Perfect. Yes. Why not marry? Shrek snapped at her nose. She nipped, sorry, Shrek snapped at her knob. She nipped at his ear.

They clawed their way into each other's arms like fire and smoke. These two belonged together. So they got hitched as soon as possible, and they lived horribly ever after, scaring the socks off all who fell afoul of them. And with no explanation, they're being married by a crocodile. Yes. Why is that happening at the end?

The end. I'm going to add that to the thread, the picture of them. Can you put the non-picture on as well? With a massive copyrighted materials watermark across it. There we go. That is Shrek by William Stieg. That's the first time me reading. it through all the way but yeah i had no idea that it was properly based on a book so there it is shrex a

complete monster and we love him shrex hot knob that's got to be the episode title i don't know what else could be no god that's called so there we are fantastic well that's my thing um it's time to move on to the final question thank you ben big nerd boy at big nerd boy 92 on twitter lads i need to know the plop story Mikey promised way back when Mikey come on we must hear the plop story lol love you now i didn't know what this is peter i don't know if you know what this is as well no not at all but i have no recollection of this mike though apparently does so yeah help us out i mean the funny thing is there's two plop stories and i don't know which one i meant or i guess have to divulge both now oh i'll start with arguably the less harrowing of the two yeah so i think quite a

must be like over a year ago now quite a long time ago um we had a leaky bathroom and so we called in our landlord to take a look of it and try and fix it um so i was working at home that day and he was working away downstairs and suddenly i felt that familiar rumbling in my bowels that's that's the the signal of you need to poo michael quite soon and so i trundle downstairs and i find our toilet in the middle of our living room completely detached from the wall um at this point i begin to sweat because it happens occasionally where sometimes i just need to poo right that second and oh my god nothing's going to stop it so i i mean i can't ask him oi mate could you just re-achatch the toilet so i could do a quick shit

I don't know how plumbing works but could you not just go directly into the pipe left in the wall he probably could have finangled a funnel contraption but

I thought you're going to say could you not just go into the unattached toilet in the middle of the living just go to an IKEA and shit in a show bathroom I went to an IKEA

the other day and all the toilets were bolted down so people couldn't shit in them wow oh God oh dear

so at this point I'm sweating a bit. There's no toilets nearby. I mean, now I think about there's a pub around the corner, and I'm sure if it asked nicely, they would let me poop in there. But you know when, like, you really need a poo and you're sweating and shaking and trembling a bit?

No. What? No. What? Does this not happen? Is this just me? Sweating and shaking. Really?

No. What are you eating, man? I don't. Oh, my God. This happens quite a lot in life. I get, like, poo's come, and it's just like, oh, they're coming now. There's not like a jam.

rise. It's just like it's here. Oh boy, get ready. So in this state of apparently unfamiliar panic to other people, I run back upstairs to my office and I just look around the room and like, I have to go and I have to go now. What can I make into an impromptu toilet? So, oh God, the worst day in my life. Well, second worst, the next one's worse. I, so luckily in my room, we have the ferrets. I'm not pooping on the ferrets. I make that very clear. But we keep news. Stocks of newspaper to line their cage for them to poop on. And I figure, if it's good enough for them, it's probably good enough for me. So I get like a whole newspaper.

I lay it out on the floor, create a nice little area. And I just drop trow, squat and plop right onto that newspaper. Oh, Michael, like a dog. Like a dog all the while. My poor landlord is downstairs working away on our toilet, completely unaware of what atrocity is taking place upstairs. He just hears a thud on the ceiling. Everything all right up there? I don't miss though.

Right, okay, so there's a reason we're doing this question last, and it's because Michael specifically requested that it not be earlier. So presumably people can maybe turn off if they're too disgusting. Yeah, I mean, if you're still here, leave now. I have a follow-up question that may make it worse. Okay. What was the, what was the consistency of the movie? Yeah, that's a good question.

Because there could have been a chance that newspaper would not have contained it, right? Yeah, it wasn't particularly solid. Let's put it that way. It wasn't wet, but it wasn't brick either. Right. Somewhere in the middle. What's between wet and brick, clear, clear. The Bristol store chart is a solid fall.

So, yeah, now I'm presented with a heap of poo in the middle of my room on newspaper, and I've got to get it out the room. Oh. And again, with the ferrets, we keep little plastic bags around to put their pooey newspapers in. So again, I do the same. And me not wanting to keep this foul mess in my room any longer than I have to, I bundle it into a plastic bag, scuttle down the stairs, past the landlord out the front door, and just deposit it straight into the beam. Just a bag of shit. And I just, I carry.

on my day, slightly shaken, and it's fine. What do you be wipewise? Did you have to just pull up and... We had, again, ferrets, ferrets really saved my bacon here. We got kitchen roll in the room, so it was a bit of an abrasive one, but it did the job. Okay. Good God, man. And that's only the second worst shit story that's happened to you. Yeah, this one, if you've not tuned out already, I probably recommend doing that now.

Oh, no. This is the most shameful 10 minutes of my life. and it genuinely was it just horrified me so again I was I was walking home I'd been out to as well no I was walking to asda and while I was in the shop I felt a particular

familiar rumbling it's like ah that's a poo coming you started shaking you started shaking so I didn't want I was in ASDA as we all know those toilets are grim and I'd never want to poo anywhere near them and I figured oh it'll be fine I can hold this till I

get home it's about a half hour walk from Mazda, and on the walk there, the trembles, the sweats, the shakes, slowly start building up and building up. And it's like every step, it just increments a bit, up, up, to the point where I think like the last 10% of my walk home is all like quite mean and uphill. And so my body is just in panic mode. I'm sweating. I'm having difficulty breathing.

I'm like just doing everything in my power not to shit my pants. What? Why are you having difficulty breathing? now. Well, just because he's panicking. It's not bowel-related. Okay. It's just bowel-adjacent.

It's me coming to terms in my head with, wow, I could really poo my pants right now, and I do not want to have a soggy walk home. So I'm going as fast as I reasonably can while not unleasing the beans. So if you had a... It's just beans time. If you had a panic attack, realistically, you could have just...

It could have all just happened at once, right? Well, it didn't. My body held out for a really triumphant. finale. So I get closer and closer and it's literally every step. It feels like an eternity. It feels like my house is never getting closer. I get to my street. I barrel up it as fast as I reasonably can. Key prepped in the door. Unlocked. Barge through. Cool off. Backpack off. Just strip down. I'm running towards the bathroom. Articles of clothing flying everywhere. I turn around, sit on the toilet and begin to unleash hell. And then I realize I forgot to lift the lid up. Oh, God. What? You had

That panicked. I just, like, in my sheer panic, as I was beginning to sit down, I started pooing. And then... Is it like when the tap hits a teaspoon? What? It's like the dove advert where the droplet hits the droplet and becomes like a crown of liquid. No, it's more like someone dumping a load of icing sugar onto it onto a surface and then pressing it with their butt cheeks. I did a proper full-on sit into the poo

and I like pause for a moment like all right cool this is where we're at stand up assess the situation toilet ball is covered I mean toilet lid just covered and I soon realized that oh the poo goes in the toilet but I can't get to the toilet

because the lid is covered in poo Is this when you called your landlord to just throw out the old toilet this happened one week before the old story and yeah so then in literally the most degrading 15 minutes of my life I have to like get a load of toilet paper scoop lift the lid throw it in the toilet

and repeat until that thing is clean enough and I just jump in the shower and wash away my sins the next 20 minutes and I'm just like I'm just being as clean as I possibly can be after committing the dirtiest act of my life and well that didn't go where i thought it would i thought you were going to shit yourself in the street or have to like shit in a bin or something i don't i feel like sitting on my own poo is is a pretty pretty terrible i mean i lived it peter don't tell me what's worse than that i didn't say it was worse i just said it didn't go the way i thought it's

pretty bad um wow that's my two i've got two poo stories how about that how many you got Well, I feel a bit left out now that both of you have stories that involve desperately needing the toilet and not quite making it. Because there was that time, you've told the story on Potties before, Ben, where you were... I think it must have been on Pottietz, right? It was, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not outing you here. No, no, no, no.

I was thinking about this as well. Just for people who aren't familiar, I was desperate for... I was really drunk, desperate for a piss. I was coming back from yours, actually, wasn't I? We were playing board games at yours. Oh, it wasn't mine. Yeah, yeah. And then I rode the metro all the way back and I needed the toilet so bad.

And I was on the way, like marching down from the metro station, similar to Mikey, keys in hand, ready to go. Like, can I pee in this bush? No, I probably can't. Got into the flat, walked into the bathroom, was just pulling my jeans down. And then I just pissed myself, like right in front of the toilet. Yeah, it was not my finest moment. So you guys have kind of covered both toilet situation, other than maybe me vomiting.

and sort of just not making the toilet, that would be the sort of the trifecta, the whole infinity, wouldn't it? That's the main food groups covered right there. Yeah, I think I've told the story before about I felt really sick in primary school, and my mom was going to come and get me. My teacher just took the whole class upstairs to do art

and just left me behind in the room on my own. And I felt worse and worse to the point that was like, I need to go and see the teacher. And I slowly tramped up the stairs, probably white as a sheet, walked in the room and promptly just threw up through my... I put my hands in my mouth and like

through my fingers was doing individual jets of projectile vomit and I just remember hearing her going to the sink, to the sink! Just over and over again. And then I was told the next day because I was very fortunate for one year I went to a primary school

that had a swimming pool, would you believe? and the next day they had swimming that afternoon and the next day when it came into school my friend told me oh yeah when we had swimming everyone was filling their mouths with water and going look I'm Peter

and splitting up at their hands or talk of the town for the rest of the day that's cruel at least my poos were done in private when no one could possibly humiliate me right Yeah, no, you wouldn't show that. Now you've just told thousands of people.

I would, I think, Peter, you've got some catching up to do. Yeah. You've either got to shit or piss yourself at some point in the future and tell us all about it. I'll do my borough best. Good. Thank you. I appreciate that. That's all our questions and all our things.

Thank you so much for listening, everybody. There's not a store, but we're working on it. I know we said that last week, but it has literally. just been a week since, well, yeah, just over a week since we recorded last time. So there's no developments on that yet, but there will be developments soon, very soon. And then we'll be in control of our destiny. We've got a few merch ideas already, haven't we, Michael? Oh, yes.

Do we say any of them, or do we keep them tantalizing secrets? We could probably talk about the one that Peter and I were discussing the other day. in our churn? The podiots present stickers. Yeah. So you can pottyets presentify any local landmark that has its name on it. Go to face a landmark. Hmm?

Yeah. Go to face a landmark. Go do it. Why not? Why not? We might have said today that we would get rid of both graffiti and litter. But go put a sticker on a landmark. Yeah.

Okay. Put it on your local snappy tomato pizza. That'll do. That is a landmark, though, to be fair. Yeah, it is. Don't put it on businesses, to be clear. You're safe to put it where other stickers already are. You know, lamp posts, that kind of stuff.

Benches. Yeah. Also, they don't exist yet. But that's a plan. We're working on it very soon. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com, forward slash vidios official. Bit.ly, forward slash vidiots, Discord, all lowercase. Come and join and say hello.

We've got some new faces there now. Thank you to Tommy and Fleckers for modding us over there. Cheers. Come swing by, come swing by. Twitch.tv. TV forward slash Vidiates official, the 2nd of December. Is that what we agreed? Friday? Friday the 2nd of December.

Vidiates reunion for come along and let us know what you want to see, what charity we should raise money for, get prepared to bid on the worst games ever briefcase, which presumably someone still wants. It's been a while, but, you know, it's a relic. So come. It is. Come have a go if you think you're...

It's priceless. Hard enough. Streamlamps.com forward slash potty at Stonations. Three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning in the end of the show. Thank you so much to everyone who's done it this week. Here is the Pod Squad once again for this week. Omar Zambon. Tiny Peter Sutcliffe.

Katie Kin Solo. Kevin fucking Magnuson. Flick my Mr. Bean. Go and ask. Tommy the Whank Engine says, Sell a rip memory card swimsuit because I will. buy it, I fucking will, and the poddiest squatty it. Hasn't been feeling very oozy.

Wrong whole Onee-chan. More bang for your fuck. Go-Go-Go-Gadgett inflatable cunt. Squatts McChese. Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum. Bartecubica 8. Caroline's Pizza. Lord Brotovich. Caroline, are you? I've forgotten it again. Polich.

Polich. That's the one. Pooh-po-Poo, Freddie Weber. Stephen Skodes. 7. Amy, I'd punch those boys. Wigs. Janet the Wigs. Prince Beefcakes, Fin Tristam, Shave, Benson's Philip, the Durham McDonald's VIP, and Mr. Macca. Thank you so much. Once again, streamlads.com. Pollyett's Donations, three pounds or more to get a shout out of the beginning of the show.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you, Pod Squad. What's out on videos this week four years ago, Peter? I'll tell you. We have got the spiree. It gets a bit... It gets a bit empty, doesn't it, this time of year? It does. I always forget whether I end on... I think you've taken to ending on the release date of the poddiots.

Right. So I must have said Spire Reignited Blindfold Challenge last time, right? Maybe. I don't know. I just don't remember thinking, you know, of that being a recent thing that I've thought about. But anyway, we've got the Little Britain DVD game is broken. Worst games ever Miami Vice. Oh, hang on.

Yeah. Worst games over Miami Vice Video it's live Twitch stream Dark Souls remastered number six Poddy, it's episode 21 Honey Linnius We Split the Saus This was the real sort of end game content

Wasn't it? Where we started doing some special one-offs We've got an unlisted video Which is happy birthday Oisin Which is nice That's still available It's been viewed 18 times

Is that how you pronounce it? I can't remember how you pronounce that Is it Oisin? I don't it's just I'm reading it or something? Yeah, O'Sheen could well be. Yeah. Happy birthday.

Worst games ever, The Legend of Spiro, The Eternal Night. Oh, dear. Oh, that's it. I've already overshot. There's so little. Oh, bloody hell.

You can't do that. Yeah, there's nothing. I should have stopped before happy birthday. The last one should have been We split the sausage, actually. Oh, my God. Really was few and far between at this point. Hey, quality, not quantity.

Right. Yeah, sure was quality. Like, looking for another job quality. Yeah, it's fine. It's what it is. Mikey, where are you on the internet? Oh, I'm wrong. No, I'm sorry, I'm wrong. Oh, yeah. It's, there's more. There is more.

Okay. It's not that bad. So, yeah, we did have, worst games ever, Legend of Spire, the Atenon Online. I only did one week's worth, not two weeks. Vidiot's live Twitch streamed Fallout 76 Disaster, which is the one in the lobby. And we were the most viewed. We were for this brand new game.

Yeah. Vidiot's Live Twitch Dream Dark Soul remastered finale. Next page. RDR2 horse cliff diving challenge. Yeah, your mum liked that one, didn't she? She really liked that one. She loves horses. Pottiest episode 22, quackadac.

I have no idea what that means. Quackadac. No. No. No. Vidyat's Live Twitch stream Spiral Reignited Trilogy number one and finally, it's the meme. See, Pokemon Let's Go, Evie.

Oh yeah, Evie is interested in your mom. In your mom, yeah. Well, there we are. That was the real one there. Yes, it was. Quackadac. I don't know what that is, but it does remind me that the Discord was discussing some sort of quiz based on stuff

that we'd spoken about and I can't remember who it was so apologies but they they said that I have to assume that the boys are pretty familiar with their own content so no absolutely absolutely not no chance in hell I can't remember what we said one calendar week ago nope so that's unlikely but if you want to do that quiz in the discord then you guys go for it but we'd be terrible at it I'm sure yeah Mikey where are you on the internet at parrots on Twitter is the best place to follow me for all my comings and doings. Last week, I shouted out Claudia's podcast, but forgot to actually shout out the name of the podcast because I'm just so good.

Brilliant. So true crime, Coven is the name of the podcast. True Crime Coven, go search it. Don't just go search my Twitter. There you go. I fulfilled my moral duty. Go check out. It's lots of fun.

That was the sitting on a closed toilet seat lid and shitting. on shoutouts for podcasts. Yeah, that's the Michael Johnson way. Peter, where are we on the internet? We are at Team Triple Jump as a two-sum plus Ashton Matthews where you can find rules, boss and worst games ever and familiar things like that. And also you can catch us individually on Twitter

while at last at that Peter Austin and at Confused underscore Dude. that was the shitting on newspaper and throwing it out in the bin version of shouting out our social media very good why not leave us a five star review on your platform of choice it helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms and it does help a lot so please do leave reviews

and tell your friends why the hell not final question for people at home do you have any poo stories Yeah, poo stories. I want to hear your poo stories. Brilliant. Thanks so much for listening, everybody. Look after yourselves. We'll see you in a couple of weeks.

And let me just check the timeline. A couple of weeks. So this episode will be going out on the 22nd of November. So the next episode will be officially after the reunion stream. Ooh. So this, I suppose we'll see you in the reunion stream. Is the next time we'll see you. Oh, God, it's that soon. Jesus.

Yes, two weeks. Well, it is the 22nd November. I was right the first time, you know. It really was, like five videos were. Oh, God. Next week. Oh, no. What will people do?

Oh, no, I see what I did. Yeah, I, so there should have been more than that, but I was one week ahead, I think. I got really, I don't know why I got so confused this time. I just, I panicked and I think I've missed out. Anyway, go and look on the channel if you want to know what. I'm not doing it now. That's it. It's too late.

It's too late. Too late. But also, we'll see you're in the reunion stream, assuming that date is good. for everybody. So 2nd of December, see you there. Look up to yourselves, everybody. Goodbye. Bye-bye.

Bye.