Podiots - Podiots: Episode 119 - The "Bungalow Live" Special

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

The boys have been to see a certain CBBC duo live on stage and have got plenty to tell you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Maybe It's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had childhood stories or memories around either watching these commercials on TV or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us.

Maybe it's Maple Lane Maybe it's Maple Lane All right boys You've been up to much recently No Nothing exciting or kind of life-changing No No

Just a sort of a culmination of anyone's dreams Potentially Did that happen? No Not at all No one met any truly formative celebrities To their character and humour To this day

That they knew in childhood No No, it didn't happen to anyone. No. Been to any new cities you've never visited before, any of either of you? No? No.

Oh, now you mention it. Oh, we, I was in Nottingham at the weekend. Nothing, I don't think anything exciting happened. I think I was in Nottingham at the weekend, I was in Nottingham over the weekend, yeah. That's weird. We're all together in the same city.

Nothing particularly exciting. I went to see, I went to like the theatre for, you know, just see a show while I was there. Oh, God. So did I? I went to the theatre That's funny Wait, no Were we all at the same theatre

And we didn't even realise Did you, do you buy any chance Go to see a Richard and Dominic Richard and Dominic? Who? Better known as Dick and Dom Um Yes

I think I got an email about that I think I did go and see that Oh magic That's weird That you don't really remember Because I think I was on stage For that night That was you?

What? That guy that looked like you called Michael Johnson. Yeah, the dude with a slight Jordie accent and nervous demeanour. That was me on stage. No. The guy nearly choked to death. Was that, that was you? Well, without revealing too much, yes, I nearly died on stage in front of a small audience, well, medium audience.

It's all coming back to me now. I had a magical weekend. Yes. We couldn't go and see Dick and Dom in Newcastle. That would be too convenient. We couldn't go and see Dick and Dom in. in Stoke-on-Trent we didn't know that show existed so we went to Nottingham and this is definitely going to be the Dick and Dom episode of Poddius. Yes it is. Yeah there's no way of escaping it.

Yes we all had a lovely lovely time and I was I was grabbed and taken behind the scenes and shoved on stage and made to prance and dance for everyone's pleasure. Yes indeed. It was a very interesting evening and before we get to the show I would like to thank the few people who came up and introduced themselves to Peter and I who were not done to man on stage absolutely unfortunately they weren't able to see Mikey because he had been dragged backstage as he says but we did meet a few lovely people one of whom James I believe is his name what was a flippin drink at the bar oh look at you missed out Mikey damn I was getting

pardon the fears you would live in the good life so thank you to everyone, not just James, but it was lovely to see you all. And, uh, yeah, lots of nice people saying nice things. Yeah. Isn't it nice? Well, it's time I think we get into the show and talk about our grand flipping day out. Indeed. Let's. Hello everybody and welcome to Poddy. It's the official video. Idiot. Podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben.

I'm Peter. And I'm a bungalowhead, Mikey. Sorry, I'm never, I can never show up about this. Genuinely, this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. So this is my whole personality now. I hope you get used to it. The star of stage and or screen, Michael Johnson is gracing us with his presence. What an honour.

What an honour. Unreal. Yeah, it's difficult to not just launch straight into it and talk about the crazy time we had seeing Michael be a bungalow head. And our own personal experiences that Peter and I had at the show too. Plenty of rich, fulfilling anecdotes. So sustaining and full of. nutrients and what do they call it? Creamed mess mess.

Yes, that's it. But before we get to the creamed mess mess, we need to talk about Pod Squad. Hey, do you like what we do? Do you want to send us to more Dick and Dom shows? Well, you can by going to Poddiots.com. If you donate three pounds or more, you will get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show and you will join Pod Squad. Would you like that? Would you like to do that?

Well, we're going to shout out the people who are the Pod Squad, in the Pod Squad, of the Pod Squad, this week. Wow. We begin with the World Famous Donac 07. I added the World Famous there. I don't know why you get called out. Well, well done, Donak 07. You've made it. Dick and Donac.

There you go. Perfect. Very good. Very good. Lord Brotovich. I am bastard blobby. Steven Scodes. Cooking, Mama.

Cooking is in the naughty. naughty act i guess fin tristam my key keys delivery service peter austin powers gold member ben potter and the goblet of fire goblito fire as i almost read out there alexa the plain fixer and two ton tony we've also got prince beef cakes happy birthday stephen uh vidi oats Abix Uh-oh Bot-Bop Boppis Laurie Wales

Ye Bob 8 000-185 Which spells boobs Nice Three but with a sparrow Viddy Oats

What's that then You've never eaten Kermit the Pog soup And Mikey's Farts Can Kill Castro Lovely And finally we have your boy, Milo, Castro Life Insurance Policy, Wait, this isn't Triforce, Master Bartek Kumitsa, disgusting Bartek, Mr Macca, Kermit the Pog, Ian Jasper now 58 years young, happy birthday, Noel Edmund's Turkey Neck, Flobie Williams, Kunti Boss from Watt Culture, and Ed Milipede. Lovely, the whole gang.

Do you guys have a favourite out of those? Lobby Williams for me. Lobby Williams has to win it. Noel Edmund's turkey neck took me by surprise, if nothing else. So, yeah, sure, I'll go with that one. I like cucking mama. Yeah, that's good.

That's a fun one. Also, Mikey's Delivery Service is great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's very clever. Good star for you. Well done, everyone. Once again, pottyats.com. Three pounds or more to get a shout at the beginning

and the end of the show and support us. We love you. Thank you so much for your amazing support. Peter, you are question master this week. I am, and I've brought some kind of, as this is the Dick and Dom special episode, I brought the most Dick and Dom adjacent questions I could find. That doesn't necessarily mean they're particularly Dick and Dom related, but sure. So we start with, let's start with a tiny demon at It's Lisa Arts with underscores on Twitter,

says, if you had your own game show, what tasks were? would you have the contestants do or compete for? A big inflatable assault course never goes wrong. A classic? Yeah. Maybe there could be some sort of danger element, perhaps audience participation. Maybe the audience have BB guns or airsoft rifles.

Oh my God. And can shoot the participants as they make their way through the course. And the one who comes in first has their heating. paid for for the winter and one comes in last has their heating turned off a landscape of britain as it stands today what an honor what a lovely lovely viewing experience that is and you could call it get your home back oh he's got the full package baby let's send that the idv and ship it love that oh i i quite like i would like to do some kind of reframing of really crap guinness world records and just making every program an attempt to break as many Guinness World Records as

possible. Okay, yeah. I'm sure if you go down in the Guinness caves, in the mines, there's some very, very obtuse and weird ones out there just because someone bothered to pay the several thousand pounds to get a world record. So I reckon we go and smash some of those and make them even weirder. I wonder if that even, perhaps not in the UK, but if that even might actually exist as a game show.

It's a really good concept, Mikey. It should exist. It's too good, Michael. Stop talking. Shit. No one steal this, please. I need this for my retirement. I would like to see a sort of a one shot,

like a one-off episode of a game show. It's like a single episode of it. And everyone is told that there's only one person who is lying in a room of like 10 and they've but they all think that they're the liar and they've all been given this like ridiculous story that they have to tell about themselves talk about how they're like rocket scientist or I broke the world record for eating the most planes or something like that and so they're actually all telling ridiculous lies and they have to work out who they think they're having to work out who one liar is but they're being

faced with these nine other people who are telling insane stories and i'd just quite like to see the sort of pained expressions on people's faces as they're like i have no flipping idea who is the the bluffer here because that guy's saying he ate a car this guy says his his mom once had sex with prince charles king charles you know like all of that and trying to rationalize the possibility of outlandish claims possibly being true. Yeah. Send someone mad.

It sounds like some kind of mental torture really and maybe, you know, it probably breaks the Geneva Convention but I'd like to see what happens and then what do they win? I don't know. I mean, the whole show's a fix anyway

so maybe they also get told you don't win anything and we just see, again, what the psychological ramifications of that are. Good. It's his research. Yeah, it's brutal, isn't it? It's pretty devastating.

I could be really sad I could see that playing after loose women on ITV in the daytime possibly Yeah A little wake-up call in the middle of the day Mm-hmm Some light mental scarring

Good Great, does the body good Yeah What's it cool, Peter? Do you guys have a name for your shows? Oh I don't know Do you have one for yours?

Yeah, I named mine already Oh yeah, okay Mikey, what's yours called? I honestly have a new idea. The Winnis World Records, because we're winning a lot of world records, isn't that good? Yes.

That's about as much as you're going to get out of me. Mine would be called Spot the Bullshitter. That sounds like a Dave TV show to me. Spot the big fucking liar. Goater. I'm excited to see this new line of a TV storm the channels. What a delight it's going to be.

It's going to be wonderful. We're definitely not going to be like sent in front of, what's it called, offcom. Offcom. It's going to be an offcom. We'll have our own little competition going to see who can get the most complaint phone calls through from it. Yeah, but that's just another idea for a show, though, isn't it? That's true.

A game show. each contestant has to do the most outrageous thing to see who can generate the most off-com complaints. It'll be difficult to work out which of them are genuine or not because people may end up just, it may end up just being, it is essentially a form of voting anyway, so people might just call up and complain about their favourite act. You could be DOS off-com.

You could like, you know, there could be so many complaints, real and fake ones that they would have to just close down off-com. for the night because it would be too bad and that would allow other channels to like play their most controversial shows briefly oh my god like dropping an emp on an important center like infrastructure center in a city so that you can then go do a heist yeah but they just show an episode of family guy where they say the C word whoa yeah man I like this we got um you got weird there with the EMTs this is like video it's presented a small-scale domestic terrorist attack on British airwaves.

I think we could do it, personally. We've already taken over Google Maps and with the use of our stickers at Vidiatsofficial.com, where you can go and buy some. We've taken over most major cities as well. We're unstoppable at this point. Yeah, that's cool. Well, thank you guys for some excellent shows.

I don't know if they'd rival a certain show that we may or may not have been to see in Nottingham on the weekend and perhaps it's time already to get into that. I don't know which one of you wants to go first. Perhaps Mikey can tell us all about what happened backstage.

Oh man. Yeah. Before you do, Michael, I just want to ask some general questions or set the... Paint the picture almost for what this show actually is because I'm not as big of a Dick and Dom fan as you two are and I didn't grow up uh I don't know you I mean you can correct me if I'm wrong

but I didn't grow up idolizing them I don't know if you guys did but certainly you you really flippin love their show and I enjoyed it when I saw it but it was never like a a huge aspect of my childhood uh to the extent that that it was for you guys so I kind of want to know how magical the experience was for you to just generally go into it was like I think we all watched some kind of children's game or quiz shows on telly, and there was always that element of God, I wish I could be part of that. That looks like a lot of fun.

Dick and Dom was like the ultimate naughty child's weekend away to be on telly and act like a pratt. And in this comical little world, these two funny little men have conjured up. It was this bong. It was just kids, well, I don't know, because Dick and Dom have clearly got a very childish sense of humor. They're in tune of what the kids want, And that's farts, lots of mess, and screaming and shouting.

And they delivered on all fronts, baby. Yeah, Dick and Dom was kind of a variety show, best way of putting it. So in each episode, there'd be bungalow heads, the contestants joined together to go through the ringer and play a variety of games and challenges to see who's crowned the bungalow head and wins the most points. There's a whole cast of characters, some of which I assume a lot of our viewers are already familiar with. including the neighbour's cat who sang the famous Stoke-on-Trent's song. Yeah, it's just all very silly, farty, noisy, just lots of people screaming together in a dirty room.

And so the farting and the screaming definitely carried on through to me in adult life, at least. Yeah, I certainly, I, in all honesty, at the time, I went through at least one phase, if not more than one, of being a bit too good for that show and thinking like, oh, it's so childish, you know, it's like, it's so mature and stupid and, you know, people,

anyone who watches that show is a lameo. And I think that was what the prevailing, certainly the outward opinion was at school. But then there were definitely times where I actually really enjoyed it and I would like tune in and I would find it funny and maybe I wouldn't have told other people, people at the time, but I certainly enjoyed it at certain times. And then as time has gone on and

I've gone back and watched it in hindsight, I appreciate it even more actually for what it was because it wasn't just toilet humor or lavatorial as the word, that was the word that was used when it ended up in the House of Commons complained about by an MP, Peter Luff, I believe his name was. He took it to the House of Commons, called it lavatorial humor. And they were like parodying it in the next episode and stuff and that's the kind of thing though is that there were some more kind of intelligent or subtle jokes in there and there was innuendo as well in the game names that kind of passed me by

until almost pretty much up until the live show where they were talking about there was a game called like what a sweaty flap and they were just saying yep we this was the name of the game and sure and there's one I remembered this one already but it was It was a game called Pumpy Rumpy, where you pump up your ass. They had like these inflatable pants, so you end it with a massive ass. And not only is that a clever name, but Rumpy Pumpy is actually like slang for sex. So, you know, there's all like quite a lot of layers to the humour there.

It's not just men shouting bogeys in a library, but there's that too. Yeah, it's a fair play to them. The creative team were all adults. I think they had their own fun with it and put in their own jokes and kind of pushed it as far as they could until it broke and they got thrown off TV

and weren't allowed back. Yeah. Was there a point where they were just thrown off because they won a BAFTA? We know that. I think they won more than one BAFTA. I think they may have won two BAFTA or certainly Dick and Dom have won two BAFTA

it might have been for another show. But yeah, the show won at least one BAFTA. No, they actually, they cut their losses, well not cut their losses. They decided to end on a high. They intentionally said we want to end the show now, because otherwise, if we keep it going for another few seasons, it will grow stale. But they're actually on record saying that they

chose to walk away while it was as successful as it was. Yeah, it's just bad boys. Hence why there's such a massive amount of people clamouring to see them again live as they're two years down the line. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I mean, I have always been aware of the comparisons between what We did the very flattering comparisons. We didn't win a BAFTA. We just went to BAFTA once. But like the very flattering comparisons between what we did at Vidiots and what Dick and Don was like. But I never really, until I sat there and watched the 20th anniversary show, did I realize, wow, yeah, there's a lot of similarities.

Just in terms of the presentation and the stupidity of it all. Yeah. And again, I'm not comparing us to Dick and. on, even in the slightest. But it was just sort of crazy to me how, I don't know if for you guys it was more of a conscious decision, but certainly it wasn't a conscious decision for me. I saw a lot of parallels between the silliness that we got up to. Yeah, yeah.

I don't think there was ever any intentional homages, but it's definitely there. It's in its blood, damn it. Yeah. Yeah, shall we roll on to how the day went? Yeah, we should clarify as well. Certainly from my point of view, I don't know if you guys ended up having a drink afterwards, but I had to head off before Mikey had been able to have his shower

and emerge from backstage, like the celebrity that he was. But I haven't caught up with Mikey since he was on the show. So I know almost as little as you guys other than what I actually saw, but I don't know what your experience was backstage. So I'm intrigued to know, Mikey. What happened? Well, I'll have you know, overall it was a wonderful experience with a few fun points that I'll get to.

Yeah, so the gist was that with this live tour, I think it was with VIP ticket holders, you were given the chance to sign up to be part of the show and be a bungalowhead for the entire runtime of the show. So that email came through a couple of weeks ago. It was like, right, guys, get your submissions in, and we're looking for bungalow heads. I definitely sat on it for three days.

I was a wreck. I was like, God, I should do this, but I don't want to. I don't want to be on stage until ultimately, I bit the bullet, and I just pressed some bit on that application form, and it looked where it ended up going. So originally, I was a reserve bungalow head, so I was there, just in case someone else dropped out on the day and needed someone to step in and be mucked on stage. And then two days before the show, I got an email saying, congratulations, you're a confirmed bungalow head. Please be at the theater for this time, and we'll show you the ropes. And, oh boy, was that a weird night?

Panic, panic set in and then accept it. Sorry, Mikey, you did, you did like, you prepared though, didn't you? You brought shorts. Oh, yeah, I knew what I was doing. Well, they said in their email, like, just a heads up, it is going to get messy. Shower and a change of clothes. Well, shower will be provided, but we recommend you bring a change of clothes. And by God, am I glad I did?

It was a mess at the end. There was genuine concern in the pub beforehand that if he wore his jeans, he might expose his dick and balls to the entire crowd. Yeah, I opted for tactical shorts instead of jeans because my jeans have a tendency to reveal a little bit of bum crack and let's not do that on a stage full of families. Well, mostly 20-some things, but a few younger people amongst there.

So let's not start that. Not good. But yeah, we all met together in Nottingham. We sat down for a little drink beforehand and then when the time... Well, actually, no, I forgot the key element here, which is I managed to forget all of our tickets. Oh, yes. Truly spectacular.

It was the one thing I had to remember, and I messed it up. So we had to sheepishly go and enter the building as soon as possible to be like, excuse me, I forgot all of our tickets. Can you still let us in, please? Thankfully, there was no drama, and we all got in fine. But at that point, we parted ways. I was destined to go behind the scenes,

and you guys went to queue up to meet Dick and Dom and take your seats in the auditorium. but um yeah we went went down these creepy back alleys around the the inner workings of theatres and stuff and big buildings like this are scary because it's just concrete stairs and long windy corridors with no real sense of direction so we got guided around by the lovely tour manager who showed me and the other bungalow heads to our little changing rooms where we could get changed and get to know each other and as we were walking to the the uh the changing room i heard the familiar sound

the familiar voices of Dick and Dom around a corner it was weird I was at the back of the pack and so the other people went around in front of me like oh hey how are you doing how are you doing and I just I couldn't see them so I just shouted from around the corner hello

and I poked my head around and saw them dive into their changing room to get ready for the show so that was my first glimpse of D and D and yeah we had a nice little chat all the people got to know each other and just kind of recounted tales of watching Dick and Dom. It was very nice and got to know a few of the people. One of the people I was on

stage with was a professional bingo caller, which is the best job I could ever imagine. I was very jealous of that. And yeah, we all got chatting. And then 15 minutes before show, we got a knock on the door telling us, all right, come, come stand next to stage. It's time. And my God, it was terrifying, walking up this corridor and just hearing the echoed shouts of bogies. Oh, God. Yeah, we'll try sitting in it. Ben and I were feeling so grumpy about that specific thing. I don't mean we were not happy to be there in general,

but, like, we were sitting in this crowd, and we were surrounded by people yelling at the top of their voices. And I wouldn't mind, except the whole point of that game is that it's meant to, you're meant to do it somewhere where you feel embarrassed, because the challenge is to get louder and louder and, you know, see who bottles it at the foot, like, before the other. But it's just people yelling.

at the top of their voices and oh we were i was getting really annoyed it was a fantastic time and i really enjoyed it but i had celebrated st patrick's day with a triple jump editor kieran the night before and a few other people and i was extremely hung over oh that's not what you want to really tired and to be sat in that room full of possibly the most obnoxious adults on the entire planet yeah about whom their uh dick and dom is one of their major personality traits just sort of singing along to every single song that was playing before the show even started it was like this is bad i need to get out of here and lie down in the dark oh my god god well while you were sat in your chairs hitting your life i was there getting ready and getting stage instructions

from the lovely stage manager. And we talked with Ian Kirkby, who's the man who, God, he's his D.I. Harry Bat. He plays that role. But he's also just kind of like a variety actor. He does a lot of different roles. Yeah, they had a couple of people like that.

The guy who was puppeteer for the neighbor's cat, Dave Chapman, did all sorts of just random characters. Like Melvin O'Dome did as well. He was now a radio DJ. Yeah, they had a whole, they had basically an ensemble cast who were ready to stay. step in and play anyone for any sort of reason.

Yeah, it was wonderful. Ian Kirkby was a machine. He was doing like five different jobs or roles at any time. So he was helping herdos, get to know us, get some facts ready for like when we run on stage and just generally being quite a nice man. So big shout out to him. He made us all feel a lot more

comfortable. But what was unnerving was in the in the cellars beneath the stage, running into him, making small talk. And then him realizing, oh, you're, you're you're a Jordie, your northern sounding. He just turned to me and said, I'll have some fun with you, like his Harry bat voice.

Oh, that shooketh me, shooketh me. Oh, God. Gutted we didn't get to see that exchange. He was very nice and obliged me with a photo, though, so thumbs up for him. And then, yeah, it was time. We got counted in, and Dick and Dom ran on stage, did their thing.

We watched from the sidelines, and then one by one, we were all called on stage, and we got to do the classic running, place with a video playing behind us while Ian Kirkby reads out some wonderful facts about ourselves. The only one I remember about myself is that my favorite thing was to do big, loud, stinky trumps. Did you feed them that or did they actually just come up with that themselves? I did feed them that. I felt like I had to pander to the audience, you know, but it is also true. Know your crowd, baby. That's what it's all about. Oh, yeah. Oh, but before we got on stage,

actually we did we did have a chance to do a meeting greet with dick and dom before the show got underway um at which point much like our visit to the theme park um i once once again pushed to the front of a queue of like a hundred people to get my photos with the celebrities oh it was embarrassing i think it was worthy the the stage manager literally was like oh bunglo heads coming through they come to the front of the stage right make way everybody Yeah, damn right. It felt like a very embarrassed little king that day. Then, yeah, we got carted in.

Everyone said the hellos and asked some questions and got their photos. At that point, I just wanted to keep it simple. I didn't want to trip over my words. So I just said, hey, pleasure to meet you. Looking forward to being on show and thank you. Smiled, got a photo and bugged off. Kept it nice and simple. I noticed that they retweeted, we tweeted from vidiates saying there's going to be a very special bungalow ahead

today and a photo of you and they retweeted it from the dick and dom account which was nice hey look at that thanks for thanks for noticing us sempae um but then yeah we were we were world on the stage took our seat on the on the bungalow sofa and it wasn't i don't think god it felt like whiplash i had no idea what was going on at any point i was just kind of thrust into this and just to go along with it was the best plan um and it wasn't long before we were presented with like a plate of 10 jam sandwiches each and i can't remember what anyone's saying But within a few seconds, I was there with a timer, slapping jam on toast all over my body to see how many I could get on at one time. That was the first game.

And, yeah, it's in true Dick and Dom style. It got very, very messy and very sticky, very quickly, which is great fun. And I sadly didn't win that game. Another bungalow head got a stonking number. But, yeah, that first game really set the tone for the rest of the night in terms of how sticky and how gross I could feel. and it was not nice I don't know how these kids like spent hours upon hours all dirty

because it was very gross yeah that was the first game how was the beginning from your perspective because again I didn't see much of the actual show and at best I heard muffled sound bites from the sound lines but yeah I don't know what the rest of the show was like yeah I mean I'm trying to remember which bits

you weren't on stage for but certainly the intro I thought was quite good um they came out and kind of reminisced about some of the stuff they used to do and that it was at that point actually it became quite apparent that it was yet like it was obviously still going to have all the kind of immature toilet humor because of course it it was going to have that like there's no avoiding that but they kind of did a few wink nudge jokes even in the intro about i can't even remember now exactly but yeah they kind of like hey we're all we're all adults here, apart from some of the actual children who've been brought along who weren't even alive

when this show was on, sitting in the audience. But yeah, they kind of set the tone, so that was good. There was a bit where an audience member was brought up to dance. I don't know if you could see that from where you were. That was quite funny, actually, because the audience participation was nightmare-inducing for me, because the idea of having to do anything at all was quite, you. upsetting because it was basically public humiliation that was that's what it was so they called this lady up on stage they picked her out of the crowd called her up on stage they had this they have

a big hand with a index finger that's pointing on a stick they pointed at her they got everyone in the crowd to point at her and then she had to dance to a song and we'd all learned the dance just just moments earlier it was very simple you just sort of had to move your arms up and down in time with the music and in time with the beat. But then the version of the song that they played for her kept sounding like it would end, but then it kept going. Like it kept coming to a close

and then they added an extra beat and then it kept going. So she was there. And slightly changing the tune and the rhythm. So she wasn't getting it quite right. The entire audience was pointing at her and laughing while she had to dance for everyone. And it was funny.

But my God, I would not trade anything not to be on that stage. That does sound like a bad dream, doesn't it? Yeah. Forced to dance for the delight of other people. Well, I'm sure you'll get to it, Mikey, but I felt very sorry for the bungalow head who had to come out at the start of the second half.

Yes, Tom. I'll save that for when you get there. Tom was his name, yeah. I think so, yeah. Deer in a headlights, Tom. Tom was good. Tom was fun. Yeah. But yeah, we wrapped up jammy toast game,

and the show continued. I think, I think, I think, get the exact order, but next on my list, I've got two-word tango, which is a quite... Very controversial. It's an absolutely wild performance. Yeah, it's quite a simple game, bit of music. In the gaps in the music, you have to say a word related to a category that was established at the beginning of the thing. So it'd be like, oh, breeds of cat. Do do, do-do, do-do. Name of cat. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. And do that over and over again with Ian Kirkby. I got up there, I absolutely smashed it, I won, I got 250 points, which they then forgot to put on the board.

So I was robbed. Yeah, I did have a... I texted you. I noticed Pete was like, I don't think he's giving him his points. No. He hasn't. So then Peter texted you and you said you'd be having words, and then you came back out and you still didn't get your points. I asked the stage manager, I was like, hey, I don't want to cause a fuss, but it looks like I'm missing some points, and he told me to get over it.

Oh wow In a playful way In a playful way I think he's just scared To talk to Dick and Dom about it Because they were just a whirlwind of like They're in their late 40s But they were running around like they were 20

And they had no They kept falling over each Like in a fun way But they kept falling over each other It was really chaotic Like I don't think anyone would want to It's like sticking your hand in a blender Yes

A whirlwind of energy. Was there, so they jokingly said, well, I assumed it was a joke that the winner would win their ticket money back. And then they were like, or maybe some of it, you know, minus deductions. But that, that was a joke, right? Or did they tell you backstage that you would actually win just some money back? I'm sad to report that was a complete joke.

There was no prize involved in any, any aspect, just the glory of being made a pratt of on stage. Yeah, so I guess the points really didn't matter at all. No, it just makes it feel a bit better. At least I didn't miss out. There's only my pride on the line. But then we got into Rumpy Pumpy, an old classic Dick and Dom game in which we were asked behind stage,

right, who wants to be a rumper? Who wants to be a pumper? I volunteered to be a Rumpur, which in this context involved putting on some trousers, the stage man, putting a big balloon down my pants quite forcefully, and handing a pump. to another contestant and I was marched out on stage and we were made

to inflate each other's bottoms as big as we could in a time limit he did a terrible job putting that balloon down your trousers it went down your leg yeah I ended up having a very tall bum rather than a thick bum which is the point of the game if it had gone around much further it would have looked extremely problematic

you were incredibly well endowed but fortunately not this was another controversial one wasn't it Like they, they disagreed vehemently about the measuring method. Yeah. Yeah, one of them measured me, and then instantly a small fight ensued on stage. We're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't measure it like that. That's ridiculous.

And I was just stood there with this thick bum, unsure of what to do. While I had a measuring tape mashed up against my behind, it was a lovely experience. Sadly, lost that one as well, but my teammate tried the best. All I had to do was dance and twerk on stage while they did all off hard physical labor. And then I believe it was the break. I must be the break. Yeah. There was like, you know, bits of padding in between.

They were like running VTs and stuff. So it wasn't just two games and then a break. But yeah, I think in terms of what you were involved in, that probably was about half time. Yeah. And then, yeah, rolled on second half. We had the third game, which is, um, Iconically called, what a sweaty flap.

Yeah. Well, I was going to say the second half started with poor Tom, who was in last place. He had to march out. The stage was completely black, except for a spotlight, right in the middle. He had to march out in the pitch black, step into this spotlight by himself. He's got this entire theatre looking right at him. And then he had to do the pants dance,

which involved putting a pair of pants on his head and dancing. And then eventually everyone else came out and joined him. God, what a 30 seconds of loneliness he had on stage. He was throughout the entire night, the most uncumptuant. comfortable man on the planet. Good for him for signing up, but he just seemed so uncomfortable with everything going around. From the girl who came joint first, who was, who definitely had a, like, a musical theatre performing arts degree. Mikey confirmed that.

That's true. Yeah, she was a stage manager for a leading UK theme park. So she's got experience. She's born for the stage. Yeah. Peter and I turned to each other and said she's definitely done drama at school. Like, you could just tap, like, she's going, oh, come on, like,

pulling all these crazy faces, really emoting. Like, yeah, she's got training, for sure. Yeah, for sure. She's comfortable on a stage. Yeah. Unlike poor, poor Tom. Poor Tom. Poor Tom.

We respect him, though. We respect him. We do. Then, I believe it was musical splatchews, which was the game that quite literally almost killed me. Yeah. God. So this was terrifying.

So musical splatchews, it's musical statues, but if you move, you get a big pie in your face rather than being sent off in usual manner. I was lucky enough to stumble at the very first hurdle, and at the first stop, I just fell backwards and lost my balance. And so I was carted off to the front of the stage by Dick and Dom, and they asked me, what was the one thing we didn't tell you to do? And move after the music stops. What did you do? I moved after the music stops. And just without even knowing what was going on, I was pelted. with a face full of white foam.

And in the discombobulation, I think Dom dragged me off to the side of the stage and sat me back down. But in the whole process, I'd forgotten the cardinal rule of being splattered by white liquids, which is you keep your damn mouth shut. And yeah, I was caught off guard. I had my mouth open. And in turn, a lung full of white foam went inside of me. And just as I breathed in, so I inhaled a hefty dose of just mystery. chemical form. As it turns out, it's not like nice cream, like milk or anything. It's, it's just

aftershave. I don't think I would have liked that either, to be fair. A nice dairy treat. None of, well, at least, dairy's natural at least, chemicals, not so much. So as I'm pushed over to the side of the stage, I'm struggling to breathe on stage in front of all these people. Literally, like, the best I could muster up was a struggle, uh, whirr. I was watching you. Like, you know, the next round was about to start of musical splachews. and everyone's like, well, most people I imagine we're watching the dances, but I have my eye on you being my friend on stage.

And I could see that you were like quietly choking on the sofa. I was like, oh boy, he's just inhaled some pie there. I did not want to cause a fuss and make a scene, so I just quietly coughed into a towel at the side of the stage until I was feeling remotely better. It took me a good few minutes to be able to breathe properly again.

It was horrifying. But all good fun. I didn't sign a waiver, so I guess whatever happens happens. That's fine. afterwards at the pub Mikey twice said I'm going to go and try and do a sick and you weren't

no luck just a couple of wretches and then you got some food down you and I made you promise to text me in the morning that you'd been able to get your bus mainly just so I knew that you were still alive really I hated you saying that because as I was sat in the hotel room like I was feeling really awful

like it genuinely did a number on me I felt so sick my whole body ached a little bit. I was like, oh my God, what if I actually die tonight? What if this is the last thing I ever do? Well, the good news is that we have video footage of Mikey being pied. We'll put the audio in. If you guys want to queue it up, we can all watch it together. I'll put this video on the Twitter thread, but we've got a couple of other videos as well that we'll probably hold on to and put out there in due course. But if you've seen this out of context you now know, this is Mikey nearly being murdered by Dick on Dick and Dom live.

You guys ready? Which one am I looking at? The top one? Top one. Oh yeah. Yeah, I see. Yeah. Three, two, one. I'm so scared. Oh, there's a lot of force. You can see you are, there's loads hanging out of your mouth. Everyone's clapping away.

They're all having a great time. like nearly dying literally dying literally I stumble across that stage unable to see or know or feel what I'm doing just get posited next to a beanbag

and like right cool I guess I'll struggle through this for five minutes your fucking death rattlers there's a man dying in the corner of the stage beautiful God

absolutely beautiful so yeah thankfully after that I did make a recovery I still it took me about I would say I'm only just feeling better from it.

I was coughing and spluttering for days afterwards. But what a wonderful night overall, eh? What a wonderful night overall. I think the... Oh no, I think, yeah, I've gone through it all. I guess now is just the grand finale. So there's a few other games I wasn't involved in. I think it was the two highest points-point scorers

got to do the interrogation game. Oh, no, they'd won? Wait, how did the interrogation game work? I think the lowest scorer. I think Tom got interrogated. Oh, bless Tom. Did he try his best? He was pretty witty, to be fair, actually, yeah.

Whoa. Going off what Dom said, it sounded like maybe no one had passed the interrogation game for the whole tour so far or hardly anyone, because he was like, well, for context for those listening, it's a simple case of you get given a word, and the more times you say that word, the more points you get, but you're being interrogated by D.I. Harry Bat, and if he guesses the word after 60 seconds or 90 seconds or whatever then you lose all your points you don't get anything so you haven't to like subtly sneak it in

as much as you can without him knowing and Dom said now here's a word of advice don't let this word be the second third or fourth word that comes out of your mouth when the when the clock starts so clearly people were just giving the game away but he managed it yeah he even cracked everyone on stage at one point How did you get here this evening?

Or how did you get to this point? What was it? He did just ask him, how did you get here this evening? Like, as in sat there in the interrogation. Drove or something. I drove. Fantastic. Top tier comedy.

Love it. And then in true, well, there was the final game between the two leaders at this point. So, yeah, the last game was, oh, God. Well, it was two of the main bungalow head, sat in a chair. with a list of words being barked at them, a list of naughty, funny words. The challenge was to not laugh or else you'll get gunged. But the other angle of the game was,

see who can remember the most of these words in sequence. So it would start with microphone being pointed in the face. Repeat these words after me. Nipple. Bung-go-ha-ha-ha-haired would say nipple. Nipple trousers. Fungi. You keep built fungi,

the funniest word I could think of there. And then, yeah, we kept building up. Throughout the entire thing, they were getting slapped with muck, muck, just absolutely mess everywhere. They kept going. One person did exceptionally well and got to like 10 words. It was a stunning performance, but there was a bit of disrupt in the audience as a few very naughty. I will say I'm sincerely upset and disappointed at the level of chicanery in that audience. But as I was getting to the final stretch, like 10, 10 words in, the 10th word was shaft.

And the people would, like, the person got to that point. and audience members just started shouting out the words to help them along, which goes against the rules of the game. They were asked not to. Don was very upset. Very upset. Told them repeatedly, but it didn't stop them. So there was a slightly contentious end there

where both people on stage were crowned winners just because of the amount of fuckery that went on. Yeah. I did enjoy that game. I liked the set because it wasn't just because they were getting absolutely smashed with creamy muck-muck, any time they smiled or laughed. But there was, not only the words were obviously ridiculous, but occasionally it would be punctuated with just absurd sound effects as well.

So they'd be, they would start doing it and then there'd just be a fart noise. Or Dom would say, I want you to repeat after me, after this sound effect, and then it would just be a gunshot? I don't know. That one really got. They've been using the soundscape. It was the same person who used to do all the sounds apparently in the old show. They brought him back. I saw her on Twitter afterwards.

And they've been using the same soundscape. So it's mostly like farts and, you know, people going, oh, and silly things like that. And then Dom says, do not laugh at this sound. And it was the really violent gunshot sound. Someone being executed. It's really good. Yeah, I like that. I enjoyed it a lot.

Very good. And then, yeah, we moved on to the grand finale, which if you've ever watched Dick and Dom, you know, is just creamy muck, muck, everywhere so dick and dom started hurtling this yellowy viscous liquid around and then a cart of cream pies was wheeled out onto the stage and we're all allowed to just go a bit nuts although we were specifically told do not please throw this towards the audience and do not please throw this towards the big LED screen anywhere else is fair game but please don't give us more cleanup than we have to do right yeah I did wonder if you've been told not to do the audience as soon as they shouted go, go, go, and it was the

classic moment at the end of Dick and Dom. Two of the people next to us sort of briefly stood up and leant forwards and then realised, oh. And then sat down again. I think they really wanted to be pied. These two, Peter, were two of the people I would categorise as making Dick and Don their whole personalities that were slightly insufferable the entire

evening. And then we saw them leave later on, didn't we? We did. And they had Creamy muck-muck on their face so clearly they had gotten up after the show had ended reached up onto the stage wiped some creamy muck-muck on their faces and then decided to walk outside wearing it

to sort of say, look at me I'm the biggest bungalow head I got creamy muck-mucked I suspect they probably even took a selfie and posted it on Twitter and put like just got out of the dick and dom show boy was it chaotic or whatever look at what happened to us

even though they were bone dry at the end of the show and had to scrape it off the stage and put it on their faces. I mean, I hope they had a nice time, but as someone who was sat near them and observed them all night, it was a bit much. It was, yeah.

Yeah, it was. I just remembered we took a picture straight after the show of us all covered in mucks. I'm going to quickly send that through. Oh, nice. You boys can have a look. I made the film. Yeah, so it was, yeah, absolutely disgusting.

I couldn't hear. anything. I could barely breathe. I was a mess. I'd been through the wars, but it was a lot of fun. Shall I stick this on the link dump? Yeah, why not? I think you can see. Okay. Look at that. What a great photo. What a memory. Yeah. Yeah. Very cute. Have you kept your little sticker? Your badge? I'm really upset at myself. So in the very first game with the jam sandwiches, the first place I accidentally put a jam sandwich was right on the sticker. Oh no. So it was instantly ruined. I mean, like jam on paper is a nightmare. It just sticky and it got right up in

It was like, oh, well, I've kind of ruined that. Yeah, I'd probably get a moldy as well, actually. Yeah, I think you'd have a couple of days before being unkeepable. But then, even then at the end of the night, I just totally forgot about my little sticker and left it in the dressing room and left without it. I mean, I haven't thought about the fact that, you know, there's no way it was going to get out of that show without some kind of food on it. So, to be fair, it's probably unsalvageable for everyone.

Totally. And, yeah, we all got carted off backstage left to share one shower between us and get as clean as possible. We had a few parting words with Dick and Don before they left and had a little chat with them. They were very, very nice people, very friendly and very engaging. It was a very lovely time meeting them. That's my story of my wonderful day out.

I did have a sick tummy for the rest of the evening, though. I smashed through a Weatherspoon's burger and chips, which helped a little bit, but didn't really help. And then I tried to have a beer afterwards, but I couldn't finish it because there was just something unholy happening inside of it. oh dear well thank you for recounting it mike and thank you for making that experience way more memorable for peter and i yeah i'm very glad i put my name forward for it it was a learning moment brilliant absolutely yeah bank more on course when you switch to a scotia bank banking package

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Well, I've got another question here, which comes from, oh, I've just closed it, hang on, it comes from Survivor UK revived on Twitter, who says, I've played a board game version of Pac-Man, a board-game version of Risk, Lord of the Rings, is a thing, and I'm pretty sure there's Harry Potter Monopoly. what movie, TV show, book, or computer game would you turn into a board game? How would it play? And what are the rules?

I did say it was very tenuously Dick and Dom linked and by that it's a game. So, what board game would you like to see based on some kind of IP? My first one I went for was deal or no deal, but there's already quite a lot of board game alternatives for that. It's already been done. That'd be a very fun one to do.

in the comfort of your home you just need 30 people at hand to man the rest of the boxes for the full experience yeah um hmm i think that jungle run would make a make for a fun sort of mouse trap style board game with props and little pieces and you know nice physicsy bits that move and clunk and can you know because you have to escape at the end right otherwise you get it's been a long time since I've watched jungle run but I feel like that that would probably make for a good cross-up there probably was one wasn't there but I think in a mousetrap style where there's actual stuff going on on the board I think that could work pretty well I would like a really expensively made um wallace and grommet board game where the whole board

sort of pop up or has like little like objects that you place down on top of it so it's got height to it and you make the whole of west wallaby street or you know the whole area that they live in and it's got like the wool shop where gwendoline wendeline lives uh it's got maybe like the mansion house from curse of the wear rabbit they've got their house with the allotment that has a rocket ship under it maybe there's a separate board like a smaller board with the moonscape and I don't know exactly what it is that you do but I maybe I just want an actual toy set is what I'm describing yeah you can have it so that you go around collecting cards to build contraptions for wallace or something. Yeah you probably build contraptions I imagine and

then sell them or something patent them and become a world famous inventor. Yeah that's what i'd like to see i want that very much please how about uh west wallaby street right bear with me bear with me are you with me are you with me monopoly oh are there enough locations well how many houses are there on there it's just the terrace street that wallace lives on yeah that's the monopoly west wallaby street perfect love it great What do you think, Mikey? What would you say? I genuinely. I like physical games where it's more of like a challenge of tasks. So I like the taskmaster board game. It's a lot of fun. He's got a lot of replay

value out of it as well. I'm genuinely coming up empty. Maybe I'll orchestrate my own personalized bungalow head experience now that I've got experience and I can lease that out for like staff parties or getting to know your team days where I get to wreak havoc and throw cream of people. To get my revenge. Now you know how it feels. You're a famous actor now, Michael. I'm a Thespiterian.

Is that what they called? Thespian. Thespitarian, yes. Thespatarian. Close enough. I'm a man of talent. Well, what remains of the two things? I believe, Ben, yours is also anecdotal sort of from our side of the day.

Yeah. Plus a bit of multimedia. Should I perhaps create a sandwich by doing mine, which is not strictly related to the day itself? If I could do mine now and then you could do yours at the end. You go for it, Peter. Sure. Guys, it's been a little while since we've done a, hey, is this thing real or not real game? And I've brought one along now.

It's Dick and Dom themed. All I've got for you are 15 Dick and Dom game names. And it's very simple. You have to work out which ones are real and which ones aren't. I'm going to read them all to you now. And they might all be real, they might all be fake, or there might be a mixture. So here's the full list. Skittish bulldog.

Fairly hairy fizzgogs. Barky Cluckinson's Alfresco Pie Challenge. You'll never do that with a carcass on your hands. Shovel your sods. Hands off granddad's oddments. Ferriti trousers Yes, I have trifle trousers Oh, that's two trouser ones in a row

Where hey Pop my saggy bags Heads, shoulders, knees and Staffordshire Oat Cakes Hey nonny new, my lord Grasping Rinklies Push Plop Protein The All Electric

Granny Snog quiz And can you quench a quiz? Weenie. What the fuck. What a list of words that was. Indeed. So we're just going to go. Do you think skittish bulldog is real or fake?

God, none of these. These all sound so bonkers, but that's kind of the point, isn't it? I'm going to say it's real. I'm going to go not real for skittish bulldog. Not real. More than Mikey. Nice. Keep track of your own scores, if you're not.

like um the next one fairly hairy fizzgogs can spell any of these if you want them spelled but that's pretty obvious fairly hairy it sounds dick and dom so i'm going to say yes that's that's a really i'm going to say no it is real oh wow surprising reference to fizzgog there yeah uh barkey cluckinson's alfresco pie challenge I'm going to say that's real Yeah, pies are a common theme Yeah, I'm going to go with a real as well Too complex to be made up, that is real

Nice You'll never do that with a carcass on your hands This one's just perplexing more than anything I don't know what that means I'm going to say no to that one I'm going to say no as well This one is real Oh, what does it mean?

I vaguely remember this one I think they had to put chicken carcasses. I don't know if they were real raw ones, which is disgusting, or possibly real cooked ones, or maybe fake ones, but they had to put a chicken carcass on each hand. And then I think they had different, like week to week it, they had to do a different thing. But the jingle literally just went,

You'll never do that with a carcass on your hands. And then they just had to do a thing. So that's interesting. Quality children's entertainment. Yeah. Shovel your sods. That's Y-E-R, if that helps. Shovel your sods.

Real. I'm saying real as well. It's fake. Oh, bugger. Next. Hands off Grandad's oddments. Grandad's oddments is a very good, very good little thing. But I'm going to say fake.

I think it's real. It's fake. Oh, I'm bad of this. Yeah, Mikey, he's got it. He's a bungalow head, of course. Of course. Ferriti trousers. If this helps, it's spelled F-E-R-R-I-T-Y.

Ooh. Which is either their spelling or my way of throwing you off. Yeah, that's what's getting me right now. I'm going to go ahead and say, that's real, baby. Yeah, I said that's real as well. That is real. Yes. The fact that I specified the very strange spelling was probably a bit of a clue there.

It could have been a good red herring. Next one, trouser related. Yes, I have trifle trousers. Real. False. Real. Yes. I think they probably used to just pour trifle down a big pair of trousers or something.

I don't really know. Yeah, they're not very complex games, are they? They usually do what they say on the tin. Yeah. Pop my saggy bag. It sounds so gross that it must be dick and dom so I'm saying true I'm going to say it's false it's real apparently it sounds too lewd to have actually been on TV but that is real next one is heads shoulders knees and

Staffordshire Ode cakes I'm saying fake yeah I think that's fake this was a one-off real game Oh, no way. So they used to play the jam one that you played Mikey which is called head, shoulders, knees and toast. Oh, there we go. And you put sticky toast to you

and then they started to mix it up on one of the series where I think they did like heads, shoulders, knees and crumpets one week and then they did head, shoulders, knees and Staffordshire oat cakes just for fun. And then they got sick of people

piling the toast up or the oat cakes or whatever, piling them up just on top of their feet. or on top of their head. So then they did a, one week they did heads, shoulders, knees, and toy helicopters. And it would just be plastic toy helicopters that don't stack very well. Next is, hey nonny new, my lord. I'm going to say that's real.

Yeah, I'm going to say real. It sounds like dick and dumb vocabulary. It's fake. Oh! Grasping rasping. wrinklies. That feels real. That feels real. Something to do with the old people.

Yeah, that is real. I don't know what it was. Probably just escape the old people who are trying to grasp you. I don't know. Yeah. Push-plop protein. Oh, God. That's not real. That can't be real.

You'd think not, but apparently it is. I don't know what it was. I should have looked these up, really, at what the games actually were. They were just listed on the like Dick and Dom CBBC wiki page and it didn't explain what the games were but that was apparently real.

Next one, there's only two left. The all electric granny snog quiz. No, I mean, yes. Yeah, that sounds real. I'm going to say real as well. Sounds inappropriate as hell, but it is real. Oh no!

What that was about. Oh, God. Yeah, all electric galley snog. No, that's, yeah, that's gross. This is why they got, they bowed early. They only pushed to the limits of what was possible. They carried on much longer. And finally, can you quench a queenie? No, I can't.

That's a fake one. Well, I'm saying you can and that's a real one. Well, then, Ben, it's a fake one. So there you go. I hope you enjoyed that little foray into real and fake Dick and Dom. Were you keeping your score, Ben? No. Oh, you keep in yours.

The points don't matter again. Oh, sorry, Michael. You win with 250 points. Yeah, get over it. Yeah, get over it. Well, I got eight there. I think you may have won, Mikey. It felt pretty close, though.

I was duped a lot. Yeah, maybe. Thank you very much, Peter. You're welcome. Time for one more thing before we hear from Ben. So we've got a question here from Jarrod at Like a Glove 90 who says,

Starwipe, you're living your remaining days in the universe slash town of a children's TV show. Which is it? Well, I think we know for today's episode.

And why is it awful or great? And they say, Ares Inlet, which is the rounder twist town, would be the worst because chaos. The best is Ponte Pandy because exceptional emergency services.

That's fine and Sam. Kiskees. Now I want to point out that round the twist town, I thought was called Port Naranda. So I'm going to have to look that up now. I don't know what Aries Inlet is. I have no idea. That's the guy who played Han Solo, isn't it?

Solo movie? Yeah, the young version. That'll be a joke six people get. Yeah. But I know at least half of you will get it here. It's seemingly just a real place in Australia. I don't know. I don't know.

Maybe that's just where they filmed the show. But do you think it would be good or bad living in the real Dick and Dom street, living in an adjacent bungalow? Awful. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, yeah, I would not want them as neighbours. I feel like the house prices would be low. And as long as you're out every Saturday, you're probably fine. True.

Well, Sunday as well. These do two days sometimes. Damn. Okay. So maybe you have. have to go away some weekends but you'd be saving a lot of money by living on the world's loudest street yeah there'd always be a ready supply of custard yes yeah there's a stray cat that just invite yourself into your homes yeah pretty scabby looking cat as well although if you're the

neighbour it might be your cat yeah it could be true in which case you never see it because it goes on day trips to stoke on train well maybe that's why the cat has always been places because His owner, the neighbour, is taking it to Stoke-on-Trent every weekend while the noisy boys next door throw custard to the windows. Got to get away. Yeah. It's kind of nice. Yeah, I think it would be fun for a fleeting visit,

but I don't think I could live next to Dick and Dom. Just too loud. I like my peace and quiet, damn it. Yeah. Is there a children's TV place that you would like to live, perhaps? Honestly, quite fancy the teletubby little bit of green. Bean. I think it's a bit dystopian though. It's just like what else is there? You'd have to eat tubby custard and toast all day. Yeah, what's wrong with that? You live in a nice

lush English bit of countryside with a nice hillhouse where a robot does all your vacuuming and dispensers tubby. Yeah, and you get all these banging looking bits of tubby toast. It's all provided free of charge. I don't think any of the tell you tubbies work. It's some kind of puff. You say dystopia, I say utopia. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. You just bounce your ball all day or ride your scooter. Yeah. Carry your handbag. Do mad tricks.

Yeah. I'd be well up for that. I'd probably pick some almost nauseatingly nice kind of pastoral countryside. I guess akin to what you're saying, Mikey, about Tallytubbies, but you know, I'd go with like the animated

like watercolour hand-drawn version of Peter rabbit they did in like the 90s or you know um percy the park keeper yeah that kind of good choice okey doke or something just live in a nice forest where no again nobody works they might occasionally there might be an episode where they're doing the spring cleaning or something like that but then they don't have any actual hard work to do they just sort of go playing pooh sticks or like taking their toy boat on on the pond whatever yeah that's the dream or jungle run seemed fun.

Forever. Make a jungle. Come on. Make a jungle. Was that bad? I don't think I could do jungle run forever living now. No, no, you're right. Very stressful. Yeah, exhausting.

And there were two aggressive guerrillas, I think, weren't there that threw stuff at you. Oh, yeah, there were. Yeah, you'd have to live with them, maybe. That'd be bad. I would, I've given it a lot of thought, and I would go and live in the land of Pokemon, on the animated series because how could I not? I could live out all of my fantasies there.

Oh. Go be a Pokemon master. What age is that you leave to go catch Pokemon? It's like 12 or 13? I think. What? There's children out on the loose. Wow.

I think it'd be sick, man. A way little cool cap and everything. Yeah, it'd be pretty sick actually. Fuck you parents. I'm off to attack wild animals. Catch them in my balls. Well, Ben, I think it's time you told, you know, there's two sides to every story, as they say. And would you perhaps share with the audience and with Michael Johnson, just exactly what happened with us?

Absolutely. I probably won't go as in depth about the show itself, but certainly the lead-up to the show is the majority of my thing, mainly because Peter and I queued up for the meet and greet together and had an interesting interaction with Richard and Dominic. but yeah everything that that Mikey experienced on stage we just got to sit there and enjoy it and that was amazing and quite an unbelievable experience really but we paid a little bit more for our tickets because we wanted to meet Dick and Dom so we paid for the VIP meet and greet ticket so Mikey was not able to queue up with us because he had to go and be a celebrity on stage. So Peter and I came in with the other VIPs and joined a big snaking queue to go and meet the boys. Now beforehand, I think even on an episode of Pottie, it's a previous episode of Pottietz, I had said, well, I don't mind going and asking them to record something

for Pottiers. Like, I don't, I don't care. I'll ask them. And I was very much of that mindset on the day. Peter, you brought along a coloring book to be signed? Yeah, an official Dick and Dom doodle book. I wanted to get them to sign an inside page that I could then cut out and frame. Like it was a really good page that was like perfect for signage. That's not how it happened as people get to, Ben. Yes. But then we joined the queue and we saw how quickly they were trying to move it

and everyone was getting maybe, well, less than a minute with them, essentially. Yeah, 30 seconds, maybe. Maybe. Take a photo. Nice to meet you. Thank you for coming. Goodbye. And as we were queuing up, I said to Peter, I don't think I can do this, not because I don't want to,

but because I'm going to have to, like, concisely explain what Pottietz is, and then they're going to have to think about having to record a video, which feels like a huge thing to ask them, because I've never been to a meet and greet before, but for some reason, in my mind, I pictured more of a kind of free-flowing, maybe sort of more of the experience Mikey had backstage, where people were just sort of milling around and Dick and Don were there, and you could have a chat with them and maybe there were other people there that you could chat to and that was not it that was not the setup so i said to peter i don't think i can do it because we're not going to have enough time and they're trying to get people through and as we were getting closer i started to feel

quite nervous which i didn't think i would because you know it's just two men they're just normal men and yes I saw them on the television growing up but look I'm bigger than they are they're really small actually so why should I be They're very short Why should I be scared of them? Yeah

And then as we rounded the corner and we could actually see them we saw that someone was getting them to record a video message for a friend of theirs that was not able to make the show so I thought I'm not going to verbalise it

because I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to commit to it, but I'm leaning more towards, hey, you know what, fuck it. Maybe I will just do it. So then we reach the front of the queue. They gesture for us to come through. And Peter and I sort of look at each other. And I go, oh, you can go first. And they say, oh, you know, are you not together?

Are you coming in? How about we'll take, and, you know, their mouths are moving at a million miles an hour because they're on, whatever it is they're on. How about you come in first. You take a solo photo. And then you come in, you take a solo photo. And then we can take a photo together. I was like, that's great, that's great, that's great. So then Peter goes in, he gets his,

he gets his photo, and then you get your book signed and how did that go? Well, I was feeling the same as you. I was like, there's a lot to get through here. I would really like us to be able to get a video message. They're suggesting we do solo photos each and a joint photo, even though they're trying to rush through everyone. So in a way, they've already given there as a concession there, all the way up to, as we're queuing up, there's like signage that says please have your phone ready please have your phone on camera mode you know like it's a really urgent process so i pull the thing out and dick they're about to like move move me over and ben come in and take his photo and then dick goes oh hang on hang on

something's coming out the back something's coming out the back and uh he was like oh great look at this not many people have one of these not seen one of these in ages and he immediately grabs it off me and signs the front cover and hands it to dom which is fine but you know i really there's a page in the middle where it says like, what are Dick and Dom saying? And there's a photo of each of them with big speech bubbles coming out their mouths. And I thought they could just sign one of those each and I could stick it in a frame. But anyway, so they sign it and then Dick's like, what's your name? And I'm like, Peter. And he's like, great. And he writes Peter on the top and Dom goes, no, no, no, don't do that. He wants to sell it on eBay. I was like,

no, no, no. And it was obviously a joke. But I, again, Ben, I was in a similar state to you where I was just a little bit nervous and I just sort of really didn't take it as a joke I wasn't offended but I didn't take it as a joke I was like oh no no no I don't I want to keep it I just gave them a sincere reply like no no I don't I don't actually want to sell that on eBay and then anyway I was like right I'll step to the side and they're like right Peter over there Ben you come in and then you continue Ben yes another thing on the buildup was that we weren't even sure if they would be able to sign that for you because you hadn't brought a pen but then we saw that there was a pen in their hand and we're like okay so maybe you

can get that signed um so yes then i come in i get my photo taken and then i i say to the i like fuck it let's do it let's just try uh and at this point i'd already texted mikey saying mikey i can't do it they're moving people too fast you might have more time with them can you see can you try your hand at it um and you said you'll see what you could do uh so then i said would you guys be able to do me a favor and i take out the phone they both go yeah yeah sure yeah whatever what is it what is it um you know half in their sort of persona and then the half like there's about a hundred people behind you please hurry up yeah and i said and i fucking hate the wording of this and peter knows how much this this stayed on my mind because i just i kept bringing

it up for like the following hour leading up to the start of the show you definitely feel worse about it than anyone else in the universe including me or dick and i just tortured myself over it so i said and it's going to sound innocuous but i'll explain why i felt silly afterwards i said so would you mind recording a video message for this podcast called Podiat's and would you mind calling their, uh, calling their listeners a bunch of morons? And they immediately, would you mind calling the poddiots a bunch of morons? I think was the wording. Yeah. And then they immediately went, no, no, no, no, no, no, can't do that. Can't do that. Uh, and at this point, uh, I think they then counteroff like, oh, what if we, you know, what if we just said hello to the poddietz? And then I immediately

thought, oh, fucking, why didn't I say that? that? Why didn't I just say? Because I felt like I'd almost been told off by Dick and Dom, which I hadn't, but I felt really sheepish because it was a very spur of the moment like, oh, you know what, actually, yeah, I'll ask them. But then I asked them to call the Podiat's listeners morons, which all the love and respect in the world to the Podiat's listeners, you are. Like, we're all are. We're all right. I're listening to this. You moron. But if I'd have just said, can you say hello to the Podiat's? That would have of like, that would have been, they would have said yes, probably, instead of like just

say, no, no, no, no, I felt like I'd done something wrong and I felt I panicked. I didn't know what to do. So anyway, they then countered with, what if we just said hello, Dick had taken my phone and Dom turned to me and sort of almost, he almost broke his Dom character to just sort of say, so what is this podcast, almost as if to say like, he led with the moron thing, like What is this? Like, are you getting us to record something, you know, bad? And fortunately, Dom had, Dom just started recording a video. Dicked, yeah.

Oh, sorry, Dick did, yeah. Well, Dom is almost finding out he's trying to sort of interrogate you. Dick is like over your shoulder starting the recording. He's, it definitely felt to me like he was trying to talk them out of having to do it. And I was literally just, the words were about to leave my lips saying, we actually had Dave Chapman on to record something because I felt like that would have reassured them a little bit. But the long and short of it is we have the video.

It doesn't really make a lot of sense. Peter will put in the audio in a second, but if you guys want to queue it up, we can play it for everyone's enjoyment. Are you ready? Yes. Ready. Three, two, one.

Hello, potty. Dom is discussing poddiots with what you're known? Ben. Ben here. So, hello, Ben. Get in the shot.

So enjoy poddietz. You pottyts? Just say the word. Pottyets. No, bongies. And that's it. Now, at the start of that,

you can hear the end of Dom saying, about, I think he's asking what the podcast is about. And then I say, we actually, at which point I'm interrupted by Dick, who saves me from that really awful encounter because I, oh man, I'm just so grateful that Dick started recording because it went, to me, it felt like it went about as poorly as it could

have possibly gone because Tom didn't want to do it. And I'd started by putting them on edge by saying, you know, can you call this group of people you've never heard of a rude word? And I should have just said hello and I thought about it for the next hour over and over again. I'm like, oh my God, why did I say that? But I don't come on so strong. Oh, it's okay, Ben. You did very well. But we got it.

We've now got Dave, we've got the neighbour's cat, and we got Dick and Dom to say the word poddiots. And I think Dave Chapman also, in his message, just said poddiots over and over again. Yeah, he did. Which is what this guy, these guys did. So clearly it's a nice word to say. Yes. Yes. Absolutely beautiful.

It's a video we'll cherish forever. It joins the pantheon. of slightly awkward celebrity videos along with Dave Benson Phillips. Yeah. We've just got Ed Miller band to go now and Neil Buchanan and then we've done it.

Oh yeah, imagine. We've completely fine retired. We'll have to go to a, what's his band called again? I always forget. Neil Buchanan. Screaming Muppets or something? Brilliant. Let's say it's that.

I have to go to one of those gigs and then meet him at the stage door and say, sorry, can you just call the poddy it's a bunch of morons please? No, no, no, no, no. I can't do that. How about if I just say hello instead? No, actually, I want you to call them morons, please.

Yeah. That's kind of a deal breaker for me. But there we are. That's my thing and thus concludes, unless you guys want to mention anything else, are Nottingham Dick and Dom Indabungalow 20th anniversary adventure. Yeah.

Yeah, that's covered all my bases. Yeah, nothing more to add, really. Other than I think after that or during that, when we were not sure we were going to get the video. I was very, very optimistically, naively thinking, Mikey might have some sway at the end of the show. You know, he might be able to like get us like, if not backstage, then like onto the stage.

Like they might say, oh, once all the crowd have gone, if you guys want to like step out on stage and get like a photo of the of the muck with us, then I thought possibly if we're just waiting in the wings, they might be able to, you know, we could get all three of us there, have a photo with Dick and, Dom as a group and then just say, just to explain this podcast thing, you know, and we would have

had that moment to have that conversation. I mean, alas, it was far more chaotic and rushed as an event. I know I was overthinking it, but at the start of the show, Dom definitely made direct eye contact with me several times because we were in the third row, so we were really close. I was probably one of the few people he could actually see in the audience, but he did look at me a few times and it was still on my mind like, this guy, this guy's. looking right at me. And he keeps looking at me. And I think he's going to ask for my phone after the show to ask me to delete the message. But there we are. It's done.

Yeah. Sadly, at the end, I didn't get the chance to really talk. They had a few passing words, but they left the stage pretty quickly, left the building. And I trailed behind them quite sheepishly saying, is this the way out? Oh, did you really? Yeah. And then like, yeah, yeah, this way. And then they ran off into a van and fled the scene fair enough well it was a magical show and if you

I don't know how much longer they're touring for but if you get the chance you should go see it if you're interested yeah all sure

yes yes well Michael I believe there is some kind of shop you're darn if you head over to viddiatsofficial dot com

and click on the enticing little shop button on our homepage you'll be greeted with a wonderful bounty of goodies we've got some

lovely t-shirts A very nice cap. Sheets of stickers, mug, and more, maybe. We've got something exciting coming up soon, but it's still in production. So we'll have more information about that when we have the items in our hands, I imagine. So keep your eyes peeled for that. Yes, 100%. In the meantime, if you're just itching for your fix, go to Vidiottsofficial.com and click on shop.

Thank you. Yes. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash Vidiates official. Also Twitch.tv.TV forward slash vidiates official. I am planning a stream soon. I'm just going to plant my flag in the ground right now. Saturday the 8th of April.

There's going to be probably a stream, a charity stream. My friend Ben is coming to stay and we're going to play some games and have some drinks and raise some money for charities. So, you know, if you've got to get it booked off work or cancel, like, going to a wedding or something, then there's the date. Because these, I mean, I don't know if we'll do another, well, another potty that's released before then. It may well do on the week of, actually, but still, the 8th of April, I think, is looking like the next stream that I do on Twitch.com slash Vidiot's official. So come on by, hopefully. We have a Discord.

Nice. Vidiot's official.com forward slash Discord. If you want to go there, thank you to Tommy and Fleckers who mod us. Thank you so much. Be generous. Thank you. Poddiots.com. If you would like to donate to the show,

three pounds or more gets you a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. You get to join Pod Squad. And once again, here's your Pod Squad for this week. Donak 07, Lord Brotovich. I am bastard blobby, Stephen Skodes, cooking mama, Finn Tristam, my Kiki's delivery. service, Peter Austin Powers, gold member, Ben Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Alexa, the playing fixer, and two torn tony. Also, Prince Beefcakes, Happy Birthday, Stephen, Vidi Oats, Abix,

uh-oh, bot-bop-bop-pice, Laurie Wales, Ye Bob, 80,085, 3 but with a sparrow, Vidi Oats, what's that then? You've never eaten Kermit the Pog soup and Mikey's farts can kill Castro. And finally we have your boy, Milo, Castro life insurance policy, wait, this isn't Triforce, Master Bartek Kumitsa,

Mr Maca, Kermit the Pog, Ian Jasper, now 58 years young, Noel Edmund's Turkey Neck, Blobby Williams, Kunti Boss from World Culture, and Ed Milipid. Thank you. to the pod squad for this week once again, poddiots.com,

three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning. And the end of the show, Peter Austin, what's on Vidiots this week? Five years ago? Five years ago. The podcast is five, by the way. Poddietz is now five years old. Oh, wait, really? That's true, yeah.

Yay, look at us. Happy birthday. So we have got Prove it. No, hang on. Yes, Prove It, Pokemon Yellow version, Part 1. Worst games ever, Little Britain, the video. game classic sky rim zoo chapter two drafts fortune oh by the way i booted up my sky rim recently because i was doing a stream on triple jump and uh i still have the safe files on the

cloud for skyrim zoo none of it would work i'm sure if i tried to load it up it would just crash the game because i don't have all the mods and stuff but uh yeah oh incredible i tried to auto install walrus companion as a mod as well so um we've also got person tat number four methhead Memory cards for March the 12th, including WWI Crush Hour, condemned, and, condemned two, and Jedi Starfighter. Prove It, Pokemon Yellow Version Part 2. Becoming the Tomb Raider, the fantastic live action experience we went to. Oh, boy.

Left for Dead 2, steering wheel challenge, piece of cake. Prove it, Pokemon, Yellow Version, live action challenge with Pammuz Egg, which was a very stinky shoot. Sky Rib Zoo, Chapter 3, Funeral for a... friend, memory cards for March the 19th, including Konami, the Wind Waker, and Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire, trolling each other in Play Links, Frantics. Polly is episode two, doing Adama, post some tat number five, Billy Ray Dolores. We've got quite a lot to get through here because we were prolific, didn't we?

We were prolific and we missed a week. Skyrim Zoo, Chapter 4, horsing around. Worst games ever, London Racer. Memory cards for March 26th, Starcraft, Bioshock Infinite, Parasite Eve. Five irrefutable ways micro-transactions will get your parents back together. And one more, post some tat number six. What have you done? Very nice. Well done.

What an excellent channel. I hope they survived. I expect big things. Where are you on the internet? at Parrot Boy on Twitter is the best place to keep up with all my bullshit as of right now you'll mostly just see some Dick and Dom stuff on there

so go have a look and Peter where are we We are at that Peter Austin and at Confused underscore dude on Twitter individually and also together at Team Triple Jump on Twitter and Facebook but more importantly on YouTube and Twitch where we're doing videos and live

streams, we're playing video games, we're doing worst games ever, we're cooking, and all sorts of silly things like that. It's like Dick and Dom, but you can't say cunt. No, no, you can't. It's very sad. I was thinking, the cunt is implied. Perfect world. What if, like, we could have an actual set, you know, like the bungalow for video, you know, like a little, like a little desk we sit at to do the, to do poddits, but then you just pan over. and there's the sofa and you know we could get someone delivers all the post some tap parcels oh man oh imagine we could have done a weekly sort of gaming adjacent variety show that went on for three hours on a Saturday and streamed the whole thing with cartoons in between yeah just put

episodes of cartoons we don't own um they've gone great uh never mind yeah never minds uh another Why not leave us a five-star review slash rating on your platform of choice? It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. That doesn't cost you a penny and it really helps us out as well. Spread the word about poddiots far and wide. And just go to vidyots official.com. It's a beautiful website. We spent a lot of money on it and it looks lovely and you should go and look at it because there's stuff on there and a shop. So please support us however you can. And thank you to all of you who have supported us so far. We love you. Thank you.

Thanks. Is there a final question? Oh, goodness me. It's tricky because we've mostly been doing dick and domy stuff. What children's world would you live in, children's TV world, maybe? Yeah, if you could have like a Dick and Dom live experience like I did, which program would you do? Or would be a dream.

great fantastic well we're going to go now look after yourselves everybody and we will see you next time bye bye bye

ta-tah