Podiots - Podiots: Episode 120 - Hot Cross Bunp

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Mikey co-hosts with the worst Simpson of them all, Ben has yet more onions, and Peter is getting hysterical Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Once again, we're mining the Blobby minds for the tweet image. And my God, it really is a never-ending bounty of goodness, isn't it? It's way easier than getting a Dave Benson Phillips. Sorry, David. But Mr. Blobby seems like he might have been a bit more popular. A more photographed individual than Dave is Mr. Blobby. what have you just put in there michael oh my god yeah so turns out i don't know if you noticed that but that's i didn't know mr blobby had a mrs blobby for starters yeah with a big pearl necklace an actual pearl necklace yes in the background is an actual

real-life helicopter painted pink and yellow oh it is just like the blobby's i didn't realize it looks white but it is painted it's like the fleeing like in the midst of some kind of political tensions like get to the blobter we've got to make a leaglobter i'm just wondering if it's got an actual name um i've just googled blobby helicopter there's a video that says mr blobby gets a helicopter right um there and then there's a series of articles treat turns to terror from herald scotland 13th of july 1997 and then there's the first line is, and I shit you not, I think these may be completely separate, and I'm not

clicking on it, but the first line says a nine-year-old boy died yesterday after a helicopter giving flights to dot, dot, dot, and then it says, Mr. Edmunds who, along with children's favourites, Mr. Blobby. I have no idea what the connective tissue is in that story. Yeah, it could be completely separate

articles on the same page, or it could have been the blobbycopter. It could have been the blobter, yeah. Oh, God, it gets better. I'm sorry, but the search term, Mr. Blobby helicopter is incredible. I'm just sent one in now. That looks like it's from Apocalypse now.

It's Noel Edmonds being shoved to the floor by Mr. Bloby, who's about to engage in combat while other helicopters are in flight in the background. It's the last flight out of Norwich. You've got to get on the chumper. Before they sterilise the city. I mean, I feel kind of, what's the word? Like, mine's an anti-climate. I found this blobby that I just.

It's just a picture of him. Hang on, let me paste it in. There we go. But there's just something about his eyes, just the way that they point almost diagonally outwards. That's so beautiful. Like ant stalks, antennae or something. And he's holding...

Nothing going on in that head, is there? Something, no. He looks a bit cherubic, cherubic. Yeah. Very innocent. It does look weirdly clean, though, like it was generated by an AI. It does, yeah.

How odd? If you put the helicopter photos in a certain order, it could tell a story about an attack and an escape. Yeah. It could. I'll try and make that happen now in the tweet thread. If you want to go see these images. Oh, please.

Everyone, please go to the thread. You have to look at these images. They are incredible. In the order they're presented. Well, while you're putting together that masterpiece, should we rule the intro? Sorry. Sorry, I would love to roll the intro market,

but I cannot not share this image right now. What in the name of Christ is this cryptid sighting? Ah, he's so round. It doesn't a bit have any dots, or it's just that low quality? That's a low-poly, Mr. Blobby. Like, he's outside of the immediate game world, and so he's not getting dedicated resources. It's the blobby that you're able to find.

photograph whilst hunting for the Sasquatch, I think. That's the best image of the whole camera reel that you bring home. Oh, my God. For those at home, it is just a blobby and a field, but it's a very far away blobby and it's very cropped in. Really blurry and cropped. Oh, goodness. Right.

Sorry, Mikey. What did you say before? Should we roll the intro? Yeah, we should probably do that. All right. Hello everybody and welcome to Pottietz, the official. Fiddiots. Podcast.

Poddits, poddits, poddits, as our celebrity friends like to say, pottyets. Yeah. Podiots. Podietz. Hello, Pottietz. Pottietz. It's a conversational Pottietz where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs, where everybody brings... A-thing along to talk.

about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. Michael Johnson, we have a birthday boy in our midst at the time of release. Who are you going to be? Hello. All right, Peter. Did you have a nice day yesterday in the future? Yeah, I did. Someone gave me a winning lottery ticket and I'm actually leaving Poddiots. This is my last episode. I'm retiring. Oh, God. Could you at least do a big pod squad before you go. Yeah, all right, yeah, that's fine. He's going to run off with all the pod squad in a briefcase and a blobbycopter and a plea to Panama.

To the hella blob tire. Yeah, those are my birthday plans anyway. We'll see if they come to fruition. But, uh, yeah, winning lottery ticket. That's what I'd like, please. Okay, well, I'm manifesting it for you. I hope it happens. So your birthday wish is to not have to do pottyets anymore, that's right?

Yeah, specifically. I'll carry on everything else that I do, just not potiots. He's so tired. I just can't do it anymore But you're going somewhere Well actually no You probably don't want to say where you're going But you've got nice holiday plans haven't you

I have got nice holiday plans I'm going away somewhere in the UK To somewhere nice Doing nice things So yeah I'll be I'll have had a nice time already I'm sure

Yeah good And Michael Johnson It's famously not your birthday But how are you doing I'm doing good Famelessly not my birthday the people cry out in the streets. Thank God it's not his birthday.

What day is it today? Well, it's not Michael Johnson's birthday. I can tell you that much. I'm doing fantastic. Four-day bumper bank holiday weekend, boys. Americans get nothing. We're living at large over here with our crumbling economic crises

and everything else going to crap. But we've got four days in the sun, boys. So it's all going to be okay. The sun, that's a bit optimistic. The sun, yeah. Do Americans not get any time? off at Easter? I don't...

I don't... No. I feel like... God, here we go British person talking out their ass but I feel like Americans get like

such minimal holiday days. Yeah, I guess they don't really get public holidays, do they? Fourth of July, is that count? I've got a list. I've got a new year's day, right?

Good. We've got Martin Luther King Jr. day in January. President's Day, February. Memorial Day, the end of May. Independence Day, Boo!

Boo! In July. and Labor Day in September There's probably a few more as well But those are the ones that are coming up Nothing for Easter it seems Ah, heathens They don't care that Jesus died

We all go to church Yeah Every single day To celebrate Jesuits And all he did for us My personal church is the chocolate egg aisle In Tesco And I plan to decimate that thing in his honour

Have you Have you discovered any good vegan eggs, Mikey? The thing is about eggs is like chocolate eggs of any variety kind of taste good. That's the start of your stand-up routine. The thing about eggs? What's the deal?

Just talk about eggs, please. It's like Christmas chocolate. It's like, well, unless you're getting a cabri one, it's all a bit crap, but you enjoy it because it's in a fun eggy shape. Yeah. It is, I like to headbut them. That's the thing.

Like, anyone could just go to the supermarket and buy themselves a massive bar of chocolate all year round, but it is way more satisfying to have a hollow piece of chocolate that you can smash and then yes do you both have favorite ways of demolishing ben do you actually use your head i could see that i want that yeah every single time i like to keep my chocolate in the fridge anyway so it presents a genuine challenge sometimes depending on because you know sometimes in the easter egg forging process there's like an occasional thick bit yeah a really chunky bit

if that is in the wrong part it can really bolster the structural integrity of the egg which makes headbutting it quite a challenge um but but But yes, I do, in the foil, like to headbutt it. Sometimes I, there was one time where I was in bed, really decadent, about to have an Easter egg, headbutted it, and it exploded dust out of the foil and all over the pillow. So I was just covered in chocolate dust. Wasn't it Easter eggs that when you worked at the service station,

you went around and just punched a few eggs so that they would be labeled as wastage and you would get to take them home for free? That's true. Well, I couldn't take them home for free. I used to do this with Percy Pigs where I would, When hanging them on the shelves, I wouldn't punch the Percy Pigs. But they had a really weak, you know the sort of the hollowed out bit at the top of the packaging where it hangs on the hook. Yeah.

The structural integrity of those was often not very good. So sometimes I'd push a little too hard and rip the bag. And sometimes I would just rip the bag. And they would sit by the sink out the back. And I did the same thing for Easter eggs where, yes, occasionally I would punch them in the morning and shatter them a bit. Oh, no, some wastage. So it goes and sits by the sink and waits to be written off and then disposed of. But every single time I walked past, I would take increasingly larger amounts of whatever food item it was until there wasn't much left.

What's the statute of limitations again? Are you going to get yourself put in prison here, Ben? The statute of limitations is pay me more than minimum wage. Yeah. Then the Percy Pigs won't get hit. Exactly. I think M&S were fine. Yeah.

Yeah, they're still going, so you can't admit that much of a dent. Yeah, absolutely. Peter, do you have a way that you eat your eggs? I like to punch an egg. I don't headbutt, but yeah, I'll give them a punch. And there are some pretty good free-from eggs. White chocolate, I find, is quite good. You know, even if you have, like, dairy-free.

And often when you go for it, if you just want a dairy-free something, you end up having to get the everything-free chocolate because they don't do individual stuff, so it's like gluten-free and something else free. But they're actually just fine. It tastes like pretty decent white chocolate, relatively speaking, but yeah. Good. Just punch some chocolate.

Happy Easter weekend just gone, everybody. We hope you got some eggs or just had a nice time sat in your pants, which we can all hope to do. Let's egg away. Let's eggway into pottyets.com. If you go there and donate three pounds or more, you'll get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. you'll support us and you will of course join pod squad we like the rude names there is a limit sometimes we have to refund them you know who you are this week sit in the naughty corner for a bit precisely mikey do you want to kick us off oh i'd absolutely

love too we begin with little bitty kitty committee uh kiddie consular who was supremely generous and they say oh they say hey boys i don't mean to be a downer but when my father passed away on New Year's, poddiots and triple jump really helped me get through it. Even though I can't make live streams, I love watching the Vods. You all are amazing. No, Katie Kinsey, you are. Thank you. So sorry for your loss.

Yeah, thank you for your kind words. And it's good to have been able to offer us what little solace we could, given that you're such a regular donor, if nothing else, as well as a long-time viewer and listener. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's good, Katie. All the best.

We continue with big titty Jesus 42, raindrop joy. We have a birthday message for Connor, Mr. Milk, your partner sent in a little happy birthday to you from Lisa. Ooh, kis-kis, hope you have a wonderful birthday. Happy birthday, Mr. Milk. Happy birthday. The generous, listen to more, what is that word? Moat music? Moat music?

What is, how do you pronounce that? Oh, with a line through it. Is it moot, moot, mute, mute, mute. Listen to M, O with a line through it, tem music. To music. Listen to music. This one comes from Bradley, long-term fan, first-time donator. Make sure you support the idiots.

Listen to my band's music. Love you, bye. Cheers. We'll try and Google it. Thank you. Yeah, I hope we pronounced it right. Cheers, thank you. We continue with Lord Brotovich and Donak 07.

We've also got Blobby's throbbing ovipositor. Oh, creamy muck-muck, X, Walshuk, X, I think. Just Alexa this week. Pete and Mike in de Bungalo. Da Bengolo. Beengolo. Pete and Mike in Da Bengolo. All right, yeah, that's all three of us.

I thought it was me and Mike from Tracy Beaker, who the photo that I posted. Not your friend Michael Johnson. No, just me and Mike in the bungalow. So neither of you two were involved. But sure, all right. Ainsley Harriet is there. We've got Savory Caroline Dun Dun Dun and Mr. Masturbator.

Finally, we have Dick Your Dom. Hang on, Dick your Dom in da Bungalo. Ben's relatable anxiety. Jack, I had a few people talk to me after that, actually, including our editor, Kieran from Triple Jump, saying I felt exactly the same way when I went and met a member of the Southampton Saints football team, where he felt kind of embarrassed by his choice of words and then sort of... Thought about it for...

Yeah, obsessed over it for a little while afterwards. But it's all fine. Anyway, Jacko Mac 43, Yuck Fu, Weddie Feber, 420. John Tickle made me go, hmm. Who's John Tickle again? He's Brainiac, the science program. Things that make you go, hmm. Oh, yeah.

John Tickle. I forgot about that. John Tickle. I don't think he was even a scientist, was he was just a dude. Holden Hiscock. Very good. Anita Dick. Very nice.

And Blobeck Blobitts. Thank you very much, Podds Squad. poddiots.com, three pounds or more, to support us and get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of Podgets. Do you guys have a favourite? I think I was taken by surprise by John Tickle made me go. Me too. I like that one. Yeah, I'm always a fan of seeing John Tickle pop up. My favourite Mr. Man.

Peter, are you the question man? I am the question man today, and I've got a question here that was submitted by Alexa Simpson at A.A. Simpsen, with no-O, on Twitter. Remember, everyone, you can submit questions every fortnight on the Vidiot's official Twitter account. With the weather starting to improve, although it'll no doubt be raining when the podcast goes out, what are you boys looking forward to this summer? I thought that was a nice question. That's a lovely question.

Yeah. Have you guys got summer plans? Are you going anywhere? Are you staying? Are you doing anything exciting? Yeah, I've got some plans I've got big, just you wait You won't believe the plans that I've got

Blow your fucking mind I'm gonna go on holiday For my birthday next month It's not, it's technically not summer I don't think But I'm going to France I'm very excited Ola la la.

Going to stay in the La Cautrishide And there's going to be a swimming pool And I'm going to sit there And hopefully the weather is going to be nicer than it is here and I am extremely excited for that because it feels like for the past few weeks the my main small talk point with everyone has been god a year ago it was lovely like this time last year I was able to sit outside in the sun and read a book this year has been fucking miserable right am I right am I right uh I'm just ready water cooler talk yeah I'm just ready

for a little bit of warmth yeah I'm very excited for it to be night time and not be dark Look at it. It's light outside and it's half seven. Yeah, I've been enjoying that. That's great. Being employed boys means we get to spend all of our day times inside. Yeah, boy.

Now we finally get to enjoy a little bit of sunshine from our desks. I don't think I've got any big plans this summer. I would like to go away somewhere, but we'll see what happens with that. I think I'm just going to... I think my goal this summer is to spend as little time in the house as possible. I'm hoping to get to, like, at most four hours a day. Quick cat nap,

and bam straight back out. We, I think I'm going somewhere. I don't know quite where. We'd like to go abroad, either to Germany, maybe. I've never been to Berlin and neither is Amy. Or we might go around Italy and do like, go to Venice and Rome and a few places like that.

Thing is Rome in the middle of summer is not actually the place to be, so that might be an autumn place to go. But Ashton Matthews, our co-presenter, a triple jump recently went to Venice and had a great time and said surprisingly the water looked not too stinky and wasn't stinky in the air which i mean before she went ben and i really set her up for it's going to be smelly um and she was pleasantly surprised enjoy the poo swap city we said you'll have a crap time we don't like you really is what we do yeah i said to her uh I'm fortunate enough to have been twice, actually,

but one of the times I went, I saw on two different occasions, dead pigeons floating in the water, which was nice. A bit of flavour for the broth. Mmm, yum, yum. Venice soup. Delicious.

So, yeah, I'll probably go abroad somewhere, perhaps. But I don't know. I don't have specific plans. I'm not really sure why I brought this question, because I certainly don't have anything nailed down in the calendar. Last thing I wrote in the calendar that was anything to do with summer was just when we might have our next D&D session, Ben. That's the only plan I've made, I think. We're D&D boys now, Michael.

Yeah. Oh, God, I've heard. I've heard. Look at you. That's good. We've played one whole session. Well, it'll turn into like a five-year commitment where every week you're doing it because that's how D&D works, right? It's just like it's a small chunk of your life for a long time.

And then one day your character dies and it's very sad. Yeah. Well, this is the thing. I didn't expect us to be necessarily doing a second session. Like, I'm pleasantly surprised, but I thought the first session was just like kind of a practice for us to get to grips with the whole idea because ultimately we would like to do a D&D video on Triple Jump as a bit of a milestone celebration.

So I thought we were going to have this little practice thing, get a taste for it, and then say, yes, we will do that video. And then that would be it. But like, just out of nowhere, there was a message saying, right, session two is on this day. So I'm looking forward to it. That's my summer plan. One session of D&D. One D&D session. We don't normally, we don't get to hang out together outside of work as like a team, a triple jump, hugely often.

So with certain team members working remotely, et cetera. So we'll probably end up playing D&D about as regularly as we can get together, which is two or three times a year. Maybe we'll do a live stream on videots together over the summer. That might be nice. Do another big live stream. I'm trying to think what else I might be moving this summer that's something that could have

that's pretty exciting got some got some things in the works I'm telling you man my plans you don't even know white boy summer coming up white boy summer it's going to be pink boy summer if we do it right am I right boys?

Oh indeed I've got to make a garden at my house in the summer actually so that's something else I'm doing Wow, fuck. Just like Animal Crossing, you dig up a little bit, put some water around, bam, you've got yourself the garden. Yeah, I think that's how it works. So whether I'm going to be like unrolling turf or pouring gravel or building shed, I don't quite know.

But yeah. Can you get some of that magic? When you say shed, I immediately thought of that Mr. Blobby episode where he paints a shed and he's got this amazing paint. where as he paints it it's pink and has yellow bits already on it and I've always wondered how they did that and how such a paint could exist because it showed you the inside of the can

and it was pink with a big yellow like circle in the middle of it and I have just realised that they probably painted it green right and they just superimposed it out they just keyed it out for the for the but it looked so realistic it was on a VHS tape to be fair it probably didn't look that realistic

I just want that paint to be real Well, I'll let you know when I'm painting my shed. I'll go to Bink you, buy a tin of the pink and yellow, and I'll let you know how it comes out. Please do. Green. It's green. Who would like to do a thing?

I could do my thing. He says like an old-timey villain. I could do my thing. Yeah, I'm happy to do mine. I come with a tale of trash TV at its very, very best or worst. You be the judge. It's been years since O.J. Simpson. Oh, boy.

Good. Okay. Five words in? Oh, no, it's already happening. I'm going to guess at its worst. That's my guess. Yeah, I think you're right. It's been years since O.J. Simpson riveted the attention of nearly 150 million Americans to their TV screens as they witnessed the acquittal of the murders of his ex-wife, Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman. After the trial of the century inadvertently made him the biggest TV star of

all time. I wasn't around much for the actual trial. I think I was busy pooping my pants and doing baby stuff. But it's cool. It's cool. It's cool. But it's undeniable. Yes, this trial did leave a bit of a cultural wave. I think to this day, O.J. Simpson's still a name. that instills fear because the man murdered people. But by now the dust is settled for the most part, though memories of the trial still linger and the main mention of the former NFL star's name still kicks up a tornado of passions,

but it's time to bring him back to the TV screen. Let's whip pass back to 2006. Truly the height of culture. Yes, 2006 is when the greatest, most offensive, most mystifying, and must watch reality TV show the past decade came to fruition. A hidden camera prank show starring O.J. Simpson called Juiced. Oh, right. Oh, no.

So this is punked at the Aston Coucher show. It's your typical prank show affair. It's the same format for every prank show. No matter how you frame it, this time it's just got a murder at the helm. Great. That means fair That is true It's the USP

And yeah This came out at a time When 78% of Americans Believed he probably or definitely Was guilty of the crimes Okay This is the most notorious a man in America Going undercover at a fast food restaurant

And pretending to mess up people's orders Cheekly chirping You've been juiced Back at them Fun, great So juiced was a a one-time special airing pay-per-view that was then repurposed for a special edition DVD after the fact. The website hosting it still exists to this day. You can visit it at

OJ Simpson.com, but I think, yeah, as of right now, the website's changed from when this article was written. Now it's just a very ominous picture of OJ. Simpson with red text coming soon and blazoned on it rather than some nice information about the DVD. So that's a special. spooky surprise. But if we were to look at the website back in those days, you'd see emblazoned in big text, a key tagline was,

no one is safe because the juice is loose. That is a bad idea. Yeah, this is, yeah, this is, it's just untasteful to say the least implying that, you know, the murderer is loose again and now he's doing funny, wacky TV stuff. Great.

So this was produced by the same patron of the arts who shepherded bum fights and backyard wrestling. Are you familiar with either of those? I remember, I never watched bum fights, but I remember it being parodied in various cartoons, like American cartoons and stuff. I've heard of bum fights. I don't even do it.

Is it really, did they just get a couple of homeless people to fight each other? Is that actually what it is? Pretty much, it is exploitation cinema at its very worst is exactly what it says in the tin. It's, yeah, it's not good. So the man behind all this clearly has. some weird intentions. So obviously bumfights and all that would be usually a crowning achievement in someone's career, but no, he thought he'd go on better and get O.J. Simpson on it.

Again, the premise is pretty simple. It's your typical hidden camera show. Simpson would infiltrate some establishment, sometimes in disguise, sometimes not, needling customers to their breaking point before shouting you've been juiced in their faces. As Harmon Leon, who played Simpson's sidekick on the show, show, he relates the typical chronology of an episode. A prank is pulled. OJ. Simpson pops out and goes, you've been juiced. At which point, the person pranked goes, hey, aren't you that guy who murdered those people? Your wife and the other guy, right? And yeah, I don't really know what

they were expecting when they're getting into us. Yeah. But Leon, who was the co-star, gained some notoriety when he wrote a column for Vice a couple of years ago about the experience of making the show and you would be surprised to hear that even behind the scenes it was a total shit show on the first day of production Leon was sternly warned by his producer

you know Harmon we can't really mention the murders so yeah obviously maybe not a good idea to bring that up he recounts how abysmal OJ Simpson was at improv a key talent for the start

of a hidden camera TV show. It's hysterical. About it's hysterical, his reliction of how most of the innocent victims reacted to Simpson is horrifying. So he, Leon went into this thinking, oh, like, this is going to be bad because people are going to be scared, you know, like, there's going to be outrage people, people freaking out when they come face to face with murderer OJ Simpson. It turns out it was actually the most mind-numbing part of the whole two-week production

was that people were actually quite excited and thrilled. to find out they'd been juiced by O.J. Oh, really? Great. Thanks. Lovely. Another key line is that OJ was completely shit-faced, presumably for the entire production. Good. God. Well done.

Good. But really, the glory is in watching this beautiful, shameful disaster, this pinnacle of trash TV, this treasure that is juiced. And in true, I guess, early mid-2000s fashion, it opens with a rap video. Oh, hell yeah. You depict O.J. Simpson, dressed like a pimp, surrounded by topless dancers who gyrate all over him. He spits lyrics, don't you know there's no stop in the juice when I'm on the floor like a lying on the loose, better shoot me with a tranquilizer dart.

So I'm fully leaning into the character here. And here comes a fart, right? Yeah, that'd be my rendition, yeah. In the first sketch of the show, Simpson pretends to work at a drive-thru window of a fast-fass. food joint and all hijinks ensue. He takes a sip from a drink before giving it to a customer to make sure there's enough ice and it.

Oh, what a card. He asks an overweight woman if she's sure she wants fries. Get it? Because she's fat. Oh, good. And there's one bit where he bullies an employee and says oh so charmingly, I

think he's an arsler. You've been juiced. That's, um, the, The bad R word, the one that begins with R, not ends with an arsler. An arsler. I thought you called him an arsler. Yes, me too. You're arsler, sir.

No, he's just using good old, good old fashion, terrible, terrible language. And through it all, he tells people who have been juiced that he's the guy from movies like naked gun or from the football field. Yes, OJ, that's exactly what they know you from now. But it's all a warm up for what is these shows. most excellent and most shocking bit. Simpson goes to a used car lot in Las Vegas and attempts to sell a used white Bronco, the car that was used in his famous escape and chase.

So he goes to this dealership with a white Bronco. There's a bullet hole in it. He autographs the Bronco right above the bullet hole, and he pitches trying to sell the car to prospective customers with things like, I can guarantee this car has escapability, he says, and if you ever get in trouble and have to get away, this car can definitely do the job. Why are they leaning into it?

Because it's the man who made bum fights, he's got no morals. Well, yeah, I came into this thinking that, like, they've picked OJ for whatever reason. They just thought he would be good at the job. Not like, oh, let's specifically pick that guy who did the murder and do jokes about the murder. Like, I thought it would be more incidental than that, but no. like that's why he was chosen yeah literally it's like oh people might get shocked by this that's a selling point

let's do it dear me but that's I mean you can find it online I do recommend giving it a watch it's a wholly uncomfortable experience but it's at very least a relic of a by God era that sort of MTV there's no limits

kind of shock value television yeah it's great it's really good it's really really valuable to society to have of murderer making jokes and laughing at people on TV. Thanks. Thanks, bumfights man. Yeah, cheers bumfights man. Thank you.

Cheers. That's juiced. Absolutely horrifying. But horrifying's me specialty, right? Thank you, Michael. Yeah, it's pretty horrifying. You've been juiced. And the screenshots are not good.

And there's a classic. I'm going to put it in the chat now. You guys are going to laugh your asses off when you see this. This is really good. this is a really good one. Oh. Fucking got you, didn't I?

Can you describe that, Ben? There's a biohazard symbol at the top and then it says, keep calm, you've been juiced. And the annoyingly non-committal two exclamation marks. I hate that. Either do one or do three.

Two just looks really weird. Oh, man. I did not miss the days of keep calm and carry on being bloody everywhere. Keep calm and drink gin Oh dear Brilliant Thank you Michael

Thank you Michael You're welcome I've got a question here from Caleb At Ccrowch on Twitter The first part of Caleb's tweet Is a perfectly reasonable question If anything, almost I mean it's not too vanilla

But the reason I brought along this question Is what Caleb follows up with which is frankly, Caleb, absolutely insane. So Caleb asks, do any of you guys have a sleep mix you fall asleep to? That's the question. Caleb follows that with, I currently play Weller Man, Diggy, Diggy Hole and Big Iron on a loop. Oh, my God. That can't be true, Caleb.

You've just put that to get this exact rise out of me. Do you mean Big Iron is in, he's got a big iron on his? hip. Yeah. The guy I know he's hip. This is a man who paces his room every night and scrapes numbers into the wall and scalls in his own poo. And Weller Man, of course, is the the sea shanty song, I believe. And Diggy, Diggy Hole, we're aware of through York's cast.

Those three songs just looping over and over again. They're definitely just going to send you right off into the land of naught, for sure. It's not torture. Yeah. For sure. It's self-inflicted. It's fine. Insanity. To the point that I doubt that it's even true, but it could be. Oh, man.

We need to give this person some new suggestions to try and save them from his hellhole. They've created for themselves. I'm not much of a music man when I'm trying to sleep, though I find music very distracting. But on the contrary, talking seems to be totally fine. I can fall asleep to talking, but not music. I don't specifically listen to anything for myself but Amy does listen to true crime podcasts so I do nod off to the sound of

you know her body was bound with three pieces yeah which is you know it's lovely that does sound nice delightful oh god is that better or worse than what the other guy's listening to well yeah I mean apparently it's like it's almost a there's a certain

corner of TikTok that that's actually just a kind of a joke that like I've seen joky video clips where it's like Pav your your boyfriend is trying to sleep or whatever and it's the exactly the same story which is that the girl is listening to murder podcasts and the guy is just trying to get off to sleep it's like a common thing seemingly the world over so oh dear he's poor true crime husband That's right. That's it. You, Ben. I don't listen to anything to sort of send me off to sleep.

I used to, for the longest time, actually. And we're talking maybe close to a decade ago now. Just as a comfort thing, I would have a playlist of Family Guy and American Dad episode saved to my PS3, which was in my room. And I used to just stick that on and fall asleep watching it on very, very low volume. and that would be my nightly ritual. Now, though, when I'm ready to go to bed, I just turn everything off and then try to go to sleep. But if I can't go to sleep,

maybe I'll go on my phone for a bit or stick some YouTube on or something like that, but I very rarely fall asleep watching or listening to anything. I think I've also fallen asleep to more episodes of Family Guy than I can count. I think everyone had that phase where Family Guy was their lives. and yeah

I think there's a video somewhere like on the olden days of my YouTube is probably unlisted and deleted now but it was a video of my clock going over to midnight and making it Christmas Day in the background you can just hear family guy on the TV

Fantastic Of course you were up at midnight on Christmas Eve watching the clock tick I've always I used to get very excited for Christmas I used always wake up and

watch the clock take and get all excited but Mikey you won't come if you're not asleep well I've proved that wrong didn't I yeah I um this doesn't normally happen actually so this isn't like the reason I don't listen to stuff but I uh listened to a podcast as I fell asleep a couple of months ago which is something I very rarely do but um after it ended it was like cycling

through like related podcasts and like you know it was like just playing this rabbit hole as I slept and I then had a nightmare that night about I was on like this Native American reserve and there was some sort of like Wendigo kind of monster thing and like it was like I could kind of hear narration about the ghosts of these Native American people who had been like really brutally killed and it was like described in like really horrible detail in my dream but then when I woke up

and I had this nightmare I was like oh my God what was I listening to you last night I cycled through and like nothing relating to Native American murder or anything had been on there

so I must have just been picking up the occasional word in my ear and then like filling in the blanks and somehow I came up with this like I had this like deep fear in me I was like scared that the monster was going to come and like

do something really horrible to me but that's not what had cycled around at all it was just kind of yeah some sort of I don't know I don't know how that happened but I did blame the podcast whatever it was you just need to watch more family guy Peter before bed yeah yeah I do have you ever tried like white noise and stuff people I give it's like people's go-to thing just static but to me it just feels like I'm a nightmare robot CIA agent this is my wake-up noise like I'm being programmed I'll wake up tomorrow another man. I've never been able to stick with it. It's also just not relaxing. It's horrible. Well, okay, in which case, yes, I do have something I listen to when I go

to bed and that's a fan. I always have a fan on. That's nice static noise and I'm, I can go to sleep without it, no problem at all, but there's just something comforting about there being some base level noise and a nice little breeze on all through the winter as well. Not very energy, you know, conscious, but it's, I found it very comforting. Have your comforts in life You're allowed it That's right Yeah

There's some ideas So stop listening to Wellerman diggy diggy hole And what was it Big Iron The love of God How did you get to those songs Please

I want to reply to the thread When you hear this I want to know what What happened to Those three specific Unrelated songs on a loop All night It's insane

Caleb, best of luck to you. Best of luck. Ben, would you like to go next or third? I could go next. Please do. Get ready, everybody, because it's time for another round of Is it the onion or is it not the onion? Oh.

I have a selection of five headlines. Some of them might be real. Some of them might be from satirical news website, The Onion. It's up to you two to decide which is which. Are you ready? Yes. I'm going to go through each of them first and then I'll go through them again

and you can tell me if you think they're real or onion. Here we go, up first. Allergists recommend allergy sufferers retreat underground to form pollen-free cave-dwelling society. Next up, YouTuber shot at Virginia Mall Food Court while filming prank

says he'll keep pranking after recovery. Oh, God. Brilliant. Monopoly game ends in samurai sword fight with man said to be fighting for his life. Oh, God. Chinese colleges are giving students a week off to fall in love

as the country struggles to keep its birth rate up. And finally, beloved children's mascot says, no way to Brexit. Oh, no. I take it that's not a contemporary story. That one is not a contemporary story. No. Whether it's true or not, whether it's onion or news.

It is. I've reached into the vault for that one for the sake of some diversity. Are you guys ready to guess which is real and which isn't as I go through? Yes. Okay, first up, allergists recommend allergy sufferers retreat underground to form pollen-free cave dwelling society. I mean, it would work hypothetically while everyone's under there, but surely, like, after a couple of generations of people,

they're only going to like breed in the genes that make them allergy sufferance of they ever want to emerge they're going to be even weaker yeah this if you'd said that like if the story was an experimental society you know this was being tested as an idea i might go for it but like it just being recommended advice seems seems uh strange i'm going to say the onion i'm going to go onion too it is the onion noise calling the measure the The only way to prevent serious symptoms, the American Academy of Allergy Asthma and Immunology issued a report Thursday recommending that allergy sufferers retreat underground to form a pollen-free cave-dwelling society.

It says freedom from pain, freedom from pollen, freedom from itching and sneezing and coughing lies closer than you think, for it is right beneath our feet. That's not real. Next up, YouTuber shot at Virginia Mall food court while filming prank, says he'll keep pranking after recovery. This sounds all. too real to me. I thought YouTube had moved on from the whole pranking thing, but maybe not.

It seems like a relic from a bygone era to the point where even after being shot, these people can't stop. It's a real problem. Someone get these people some help. Ah, I'm going to say, oh, it's that second line that makes it hard that he plans to strike again. I'm going to go onion. Peter? I'm saying real.

Real. Okay. It's real. A 21-year-old YouTuber was shot at a mall in Virginia by a man he reportedly tried to prank for a video. Tanner Cook, who runs a smaller but-growing YouTube channel called Classified Goons, feel free to look that up if you guys want. Was shot in his abdomen at the mall's food court on Sunday morning, according to NBC News. I was playing a prank in a simple practical joke, and this guy can't take it very well. Cook reportedly said after undergoing surgery for his wounds. Oh, God.

Cheese. Does it say what the prank was? going to try and find out for you. All he did was pull a gun on the guy. He shot me. He can't take a joke. It's a prank, bro. Come on.

It's just a prank, bro. Let's see. They've got 40,000 subs on classified goons. Not worth taking a bullet for. No. We should know. We got 40,000 subs and then took a bullet. Yeah, we did.

And look at us now. Yeah. Okay, it doesn't actually say what he did. But the YouTube prankster channel has video showing the classified goons attempting to take rackets from tennis players pretending to vomit on Uber drivers and asking strangers to play naked twister. This sounds awful.

I'm kind of glad he was shot. I'm happy he's alive, but a bullet might teach him a lesson, maybe. Well, apparently not. It's going to be worse now. I'm invincible. Bulletproof. Next up, Monopoly game ends in samurai sword fight

with man said to be fighting for his life. I mean, I hate Monopoly enough to think that this could be real. If I had a samurai sword in my house, this would definitely have been a true story because it would have happened already. It's only a mercy that I'm not equipped. I'm going to say real. I think real as well. I can so see someone in like a fit of rage,

reaching for the decorative samurai sword in the living room and just raising hell. Yeah, real. It is real. According to reports, a game of Monopoly turned into a samurai sword fight in Brussels. The incident reportedly occurred in the forest neighbourhood of the Belgian capital at approximately 5am on Sunday.

This article is from the 6th of April this year. Who's playing Monopoly at 5am on a Sunday? People who won a samurai sword fight. Two people who owns... That implies that there were two people with swords if it was a samurai sword fight. The Venn diagram of people playing monopoly at 5am in Brussels and people who have samurai swords.

It's just a circle. It's a perfect circle. Residents became irritated by four individuals playing the board game on the pavement outside their home, and an argument ensued when a man emerged from his house apparently brandishing a stick. The argument escalated when the resident son appeared with a Japanese samurai sword in its holster.

Oh my God. Is that the right words? I don't know. Maybe, who knows? It's real, though. Oh, wow. Next up, Chinese colleges are giving students... Wait, sorry, can we go back again?

Go on. What's up? They were playing Monopoly outside on the pavement at 5am. 5am, and they were told to stop repeatedly. During the insuring altercation, the katana sword, they've really busted out the caesaurus here, haven't they? Became visible when one of the Monopoly players removed the sheath, according to La Libre, or La Libre, probably. The player tried to grab the katana and removed the holster.

The sun tried to get it back. said the police. It is believed that both the Sun and one of the Monopoly players were wounded by the blade. Two men were taken to hospital and both were apprehended. Amazing.

Yeah, so there we are. I hope someone's got to get out of jail free card. We! After the confrontation, the street where the group had played the game was left stained with large patches of blood and scattered with Monopoly cards. Oh, no.

Bloody hell. Next up, penultimate one here, Chinese colleges are giving students, students are weak off to fall in love as the country struggles to keep its birth rate up. It sounds like it could be real. I mean, it probably is. I thought, I didn't realize their birth rate was low.

I know, like, I think Japan is very poor. They were an aging population, haven't they? Yeah, but I thought China, the whole point was you're only allowed one child, and if you want more, you have to, like, pay. I think that's now been reversed. I think that's now being reversed. Wow, it sounds like they've really, like, swung the other way then, if this is true. I'm just going to guess onion.

I need you guys to have as few kids as possible. No, wait, that's too few. No, stop. You must have more children. Go on a fuck holiday. Oh, my God, I can't imagine the merchandising and promotion around this week. They'll be amazing. Discount, no, not discount condoms.

I guess you want the opposite that. You want more kids. Yeah, yeah, no condoms. Condoms are illegal. Yeah, imagine on like day six if you've not yet fallen in love And you're just scratching around desperately trying to find someone Oh, cringe, imagine not doing your sex homework Imagine coming into school the next week and not being pregnant

Oh, how embarrassing What do you think, Pete, Michael, sorry? I'm going to go real Okay, I said onion It is real, it's real, it's real, wow Nine colleges, and let me clarify, nine vocational colleges, so these are perhaps a little more liberal than other colleges in China. Nine colleges in China say they're giving students a week off to go fall in love in April. They've been asked to keep travel diaries, film videos of their trips, and write growth reports.

The new theme for these students' spring break comes as China faces plummeting birth and marriage rates. Wow, plummeting birth and marriage rates. after you literally had to like have a license for a second child not so long ago. Yeah. I've really overdone it there. I know it's been translated but I think this is quite poetic actually how this reads. Walk out of campus, get in touch with nature and with your heart, feel the beauty of spring, the school said in its statement. Aw.

How lovely is that? Sounds nice. That's nice. Yeah. Spring break. You ready for your final story? Yes, please. Yeah. beloved children's mascot says no way to Brexit.

Who's a vocal political member of the TV kids' Panty on? Dick and Dom are a bit vocal, not to bring them up again. Well, they were on stage, but on Twitter, they sometimes say stuff about, you know, politics. Di Harry Batt recently quoted. I think in the Newcastle show, of all places, shouting get the tour. sorry Peter it's get the tories out but you said singular presenter so it's not dick and don no or is it well it could be yeah but is it real that's the question

could just be the one of them have I told you this story before about Amy and her dad have this running joke where they were once watching are you smarter than a 10 year old do you remember that show vaguely oh yes in America it's like are you smarter than a sixth grader or something and it was normally hosted by Dick and Dom in the UK but on one occasion Dom was ill and so he wasn't there so Richard McCourt hosted it on his own

and then at the end when the credits rolled it just said presented by Dick they didn't put his full name presented by Dick so anyway sorry I'm going to say real I'm going to say onion, I feel like this is like

Feynman Sam's repeating, he's striking like the French Feynman are. Yeah, good lad. No, it's, I mean, it is real, but no, it's not Feynman Sam. The real headline is, Mr. Blobby says no to the draft Brexit deal. Oh, God, Blobby's everywhere. Mr. Blobby says, Provee to the Brexit deal.

Would you like to hear the article? because I'm just scanning it and it's a bit of a roller coaster to be honest. We need some context here. I'm not sure it'll help but go for it. This is from ITV's website and it very unhelpfully says

that this article was published on Thursday the 22nd of November but provides no date, no year, so I don't know but if it was regarding the deal rather than Brexit itself, it could have been from the past three years, maybe.

Who knows? After invading the loose women control room, Mr Blobby shared a view or two on Brexit. Brexit is a hot talking point at the moment. As Theresa May insists the Brexit draft agreement is right for the whole of the UK and is within our grasp, the nation is wondering what will happen next?

It can be tough to sort the facts from fiction. So who better to get the Brexit lowdown from, the Mr. Blobby, full stop. Are we right? Question mark? It seems that Mr. Blobby isn't one to shy away from a political problem. So when Jane asked him, do you think that if there's a no deal and we slash the 12,651 EU protectionist tariffs, will that result in a loss or a gain to the UK treasury? His reply was colourful to say the least. Jane was quick to interpret Bobby's response.

She interjected, he says no. However, Mr Blobby seemed stumped when asked if Theresa May will still be Prime Minister at Christmas. That Blobby prediction remains to be seen. I should have got this because I've seen the image of Mr. Blobby on the loose women's set. and even the banner underneath says Mr. Blobby on Brexit or something like Mr. Bobby's thoughts on Brexit. I've seen this picture before.

Should have got it right. Oh, I think I did get it right, actually. But yeah, I should have known exactly who it was. Oh, my God. I'm just watching, there's a clip here, and he walks onto the set and immediately trips over the stage and falls over. Yeah, of course he does.

And then he stands up. He's helped to his feet. He's trying to, yeah, so basically he says Blobby, blobby, blobby, blobby, blobby, and Jane, who I assume is one of the hosts of loose women, then very helpfully interprets what he's saying and just says, yes, he agrees with all of my viewpoints, which is really helpful.

I'll get the screenshot of Mr. Blobby on Brexit, because we can definitely use that for next episodes, a dump that we put on the thread on Twitter. So something over to you now. This is why Brexit is a good thing, right? Yeah, of course. Oh, there he is. Because, you know, Britain, Britain about British, Britain for Britain.

You okay? If the flipping Europeans, flipping EU, they have us talking about tinting or some shit. But no, we get to have good British national treasure, Mr Blobby on telly. And if we were still in the EU, this wouldn't be happening. So thank fuck for Brexit. Am I right? You are right. Mr. Blobby says yes.

you're correct but that's my thing good Lord thank you thank you very much Ben so it's time for the final question before I do my thing and this was sent by Rosie

who says Easter's coming up what are your thoughts on the phenomenon of alternate hot crust buns and if you had to create one what flavour would you choose now helpfully

Rosie at Rosie E. Priv on Twitter has even enclosed some example images which I will now send to you guys in the chat. Here's the first one. These are blueberry and lemon hot cross buns. It gets weirder. This one not so weird, but perhaps a bit overindulgent.

M&S extremely chocolatey hot cross buns. But then here's one that threw me off. I don't even know if this is sweet or savoury. Waitrose, West Country, mature chadder and stout hot cross buns. Oh, that's just silly. Slow down, Waitros. Now, for context, for all those of you who don't know what hot cross buns are, they're basically, they look a bit like bread rolls,

but the Super Smash Bros logo. Yeah. And we have them at Easter, and they have the cross on them because Jesus Dun died on one of those at Easter time. He was pinned up on a big bun. I've actually got the Wikipedia article here. For what? The crucifixion. For Jesus, what Jesus was pinned up on.

And it says, it just says bun. That's it. A really big bun. No, it says, a hot cross bun is a spiced bun, usually made with fruit, marked with a cross on the top, which has been traditionally eaten on Good Friday in the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Canada, India, Pakistan, Malta, United States, and the Commonwealth Caribbean. They are available all year round in some places, including the UK. Just a bit more backstory. Sorry. Apparently, the history is a bit up in the air, but the Greeks in the 6th century AD may have marked cakes with a cross. And then one theory is that the contemporary Hot Cross bun originates from St. Albans in England, where in 1361, brother Thomas Hot Cross, that's what I'm calling him. A 14th century monk at St. Albans Abbey developed a similar recipe called an Alban bun and distributed the bun to the poor on Good Friday. So, there you go.

I bought some hot cross buns earlier today Did you? I haven't had a hot cross bun in ages Yeah, I quite like them It's not something you ever buy but it was there I was like oh you know what Tis the season let me have a hot cross bun why not Well it's funny I had my first hot cross bun in years Only last week on the weekend

So between the three of us We've run the entire spectrum of how recently And how often we have hot cross buns Do you toast them? Well, I had this one toasted, yeah. Yeah, you've got to, otherwise it's just a slightly sad bit of bread. Oh, see, I don't mind it. I think hot cross buns last for it.

Isn't there one that's in a museum that's like 150 years old or something? Yeah, I think that's right. I wouldn't recommend eating it, but I do feel like with most bread products, hot cross buns can be eaten, not raw, but you know what I mean? And then if they start to go a bit stale, you can toast them, and then they're still good. Infinite bread, never-ending bread. Yeah, over 200 years old is the oldest Hot Crossburn. Is it? Have you got a photo there? Can you find it?

Yeah, it looks... Is it blue? It looks like a stone. Oh, it does. Look at that. Oh, it's got a bit of paper next to it written in the most magical flipping Dumbledore handwriting. Yeah, 1807. Is that what that says on there? Yeah. March 27th, 1807.

Is it left Friday at the top or Feet Friday? I'm not sure. Good Friday, probably. Something called... Sorry, there's just more story and it raises more questions. Dot Munson from Wormingford near Colchester said her husband, Andrew, was given the bun about 30 years ago. Just kept it in a cupboard. Yeah, it's a big hard lump, normal hot cross bun size, Mrs Munson said.

why my husband was given it we'll never know is it Manchester yeah I can't read the first bit something street oh is it street or fruit I can't really tell

it's magical handwriting and quite blurry every Easter we get it out and we once had a competition on social evening to guess how old it was wow it's got the date

in the fucking packaging oh that's so good that is how you pass the time in you know 18, well, many years after. This is in the 90s, Jesus. They have not tried to verify the age of the hot cross bun and said they have given up trying to find out further details

as Mr Baker was no longer alive. Okay. His bun has outlived him. That's a fitting name. Yeah, Mr. Baker, yeah. Mr. Baker. He's from a long line of bakers. Oh, I just seen the West Country mature cheddar and stout hot cross bun that's in there

that's a bit too high concept for me I think it has to be sweet that's the thing I don't understand do you think that still has the sweet spices that come with it like they're kind of people have cheese and grapes so I suppose maybe it was with raisins I don't know there's something kind of strange on the actual image

they've like cut it open and put what is because that's too yellow to be butter surely you see on the actual oh yeah image on the image on the packaging maybe it looks like lemon curd or something Yeah, something really, it's from Waitrose, so it'll have some fancy-ass spread in it

and no one's got in their cupboard regularly. Yeah. Or it might be mustard. So what would the Vidyat's alternative hot cross bun be? Oh, I forgot that. I forgot where we were. That was the question, yeah. Shit, yeah.

Well, the first question was, what are our thoughts on the phenomenon? I think, you know, the two of these that you've sent, Rosie, are fairly tame. At least they're sweet. The cheese and stout one is very odd. Yeah. I'm not sure about that. It's a bit much for me.

Keep it simple. Little twists, maybe like a bit of apple in one or something. Why not? Yeah. Cheese. No. What would the Vidyat's one be, though, is the question. Hmm.

Do you think we could put fruit loops inside it? Maybe. I was going to ask if we could have four different hot cross buns in the same packet. You could have each quarter of the hot cross bun. Like along the cross could be a different thing. Oh, that would be so good. Could we put a pagan sort of satanic worship symbol instead of a cross on one of them? But only, it's like a Wonka golden ticket.

You have to buy loads of packets of Vidiot's Hot Cross buns if you want to stand a chance of getting the special satanic one. It's an easy way to make it satanic. You just turn it upside down. becomes St. Peter's Cross, right? Yeah, that's true. So it's maybe in the middle of the cross, I think. It's not a very accurate cross, but... You've got to be careful how you eat your hot cross pond.

Imagine serving up your hot cross bun upside down to, like, the local vicar or something. That could be disastrous. Yeah, that'd be pretty humiliating when you go to church as regularly as you do. Yeah, absolutely. So what are we putting in it? I think we're going sweep, right? I really like the idea of apple, maybe some sort of apple-spiced hot cross bun. Could be pretty tasty.

Mm. Mm. Yeah. Nice. Well, we need to have, like, stay true to form, have, like, a couple of good ones and one absolute stinker in there. It just ruins the whole pack. I can't, I want to, I want to see a hot cross bun that's made up of all of the winners

from, like, food fights I've done on Poddiettes. I can't remember a single winner, like, ham sandwich and a digestive biscuit, baby. Yeah. And some barbecue crisps. That would be a delicious little package. The Vidiot's Victory Bon. I think the cross is actually kind of underutilized with hot cross buns. I feel like maybe you could still incorporate the cross decoration,

but substitute it for something that actually has some flavour. Okay. Yeah? Like a jellied eel. Oh, awful. Some strawberry laces. I was just thinking strawberry laces. Really? You're going to bite into it and have this sort of

this soft bun with with an elasticy I don't even know how to describe it. You're going to bite it and there's going to be a hard bit or you're going to pull away and the whole thing's going to come off in one go. Sorry, you just suggested jelly eels. Well, at least you get chomper's right through that. You know what I'm saying? You've got to think about structural integrity over here.

I've never had jelly deals. I don't know how leathery they are. I mean either. I bet they're disgusting. I don't want them near my bun, actually. No. A flump. Oh, yeah. It kind of looks like it anyway, so yeah, perfect. Hot cross flump. Hot cross bump. Perfect.

That's it. Done it. The hot cross hit us up. Vidiat's hot cross bump. Is that bun, like B-U-N-P? Yeah, B-U-M-P. B-U-N-N-N for November P. B-B-B-U-N-N-N- for November P. B-B-B-B-B-B-B. Bump, Bump.

Hot cross buntp. It's really fun to say. It is. Bump. I mean, it's not even a portmanteau of flump because it's just the letter P added to the end. We just wanted to call it bump. Yeah.

And then in the morning, you would probably do a hot cross bumpiss. Oh, absolutely. Very cool package. It would be really cross and really hot. I've had an allergic reaction to my bun. now I have a hot and cross bum fantastic God's sake

thanks for that question cheers yeah thank you so much Peter have you got a thing yeah I've got a thing here I wanted to tell you the story about spoiler alert for what's coming up here

the meowing nuns yes the curious case of the meowing nuns, which was a mass hysteria case. And while I was looking for a good write-up of it, I just found an article on the lineup.com with a series of mass hysteria cases, all in little bite-sized chunks.

So we're going to learn about eight mass hysteria things. I'll do the nuns one at the end, so we'll go from eight, which is the opposite end of the list. And it starts with one that's a bit more well-known. It's the Salem Witch Trials, of course. Nice. One of the most well-known examples of mass hysteria in American history,

the Salem witch trials resulted in around 20 deaths and its enduring legacy. Salem was already rife with rumors of witchcraft when, in 1692, Betty Paris and Abigail Williams began displaying strange tendencies, including screaming and flailing around uncontrollably. Doctors declared the girls were bewitched. 1692. Brilliant. Along with Anne Putnam, the young girls began identifying, women in town as witches.

Their accusations started with societal outcasts, but also targeted supposed pillars of society as more and more accusations were made. By the time the trials ended a year later, over 200 people had been accused of practicing witchcraft.

19 people had hanged. One man had been pressed to death by stones. Oh! Yeah. And seven had died in jail awaiting execution. I've seen the pressed to death thing. There's a a scene from a movie version that was made about Salem. Do you remember Little Hope as well, the Dark Pictures game?

I think there's a man crushed in that. Oh, yeah, yeah, I think there was. He was a guy called Corey, I believe, was his surname, and they lay a big plank across you. They lie you on the floor, put a plank on you, or like bigger than a plank, like it covers your whole body, only your head is sticking out. And then they just slowly add more and more stones.

And they were telling him, they were like, please just admit that you're a witch, because I think like if he did that, he could sort of die with a bit more honor. Maybe he could like repent his sins and possibly get to heaven or something. But because he obviously wasn't a witch, he just flat out refused.

And they were adding more and more stones. And he died. He just said, no, I'm not going to say it. Are you a witch now? Are you a witch now? Add another stone. Are you sure? Yeah.

Got a big one here. for you. Oh, God. So there you go. That's the same in witch trials, which I'm sure you already knew about. But number seven, counting down here, the twitching outbreak. A high school in Louisiana experienced a strange moment of mass hysteria in 1939 when one of their students inexplicably began to feel an uncontrollable twitch in her right leg. After attending the school's annual homecoming dance, her leg began to twitch along with the music. This continued in school the next day and soon,

spread to several of her female classmates. Concerned parents began to pull their children out of school. As fear spread, so did the twitching phenomenon, until it suddenly and ultimately ended within a week. Sociologists explained that there was no real condition and that this was merely a case of mass hysteria. It's very strange that these things can happen. Here's an interesting one I'd not heard of.

The Halifax Slasher Panic. No. 6. So Halifax, England. that's not so far from where my parents are. It's one of the next couple of towns over. The Halifax Slasher panic began on November the 16th, 1938, in Halifax, England, when two women entered the local police station with head wounds. They told the police, a man had attacked them with a razor blade,

but upon investigating the police could find no evidence at the crime scene, word of the attack quickly spread. Over the following days, more people came forward, all with cuts and knife wounds, vigilante groups began to roam the streets attacking men who appeared suspicious. With the local police stumped by the lack of evidence and with no suspects, detectives from Scotland Yard were called in to help. But just as the detectives began their investigation, the case took an unexpected turn. During questioning, many of the victims began confessing they had actually injured themselves

after hearing about the so-called Halifax slasher, when nine of the 12 victims confessed to doing the wounds, themselves, the police closed the investigation. Five were subsequently charged with public mischief offences and four were sent to prison for their part in the slasher panic. They just wanted to be involved, I guess, in this, what they thought was going to be a big story. You are guilty of public mischief.

Mischief. Mild peril. Number five, we've got the New York Tourette's epidemic. Tourette's syndrome is characterized as a vocal and or physical tick that is uncontrollable. It's a rare neuropsychiatric disorder, which made it all the more strange when a New York school experienced what seemed to be an outbreak of Tourette syndrome in 2011. After several school children began to display Tourette-like symptoms, parents became concerned that there was some sort of toxin that was causing this outbreak. Many of those parents

still believe this. The researchers, including Erin Brockovich, whose credentials were not given, just their name. Research, including Erin Brockovich, concluded there was nothing unusual about the environment. Dr. Laslo Mehta came to the conclusion that this outbreak was the result of conversion disorder, another name for mass hysteria. This basically means that though these students were experiencing real symptoms, they had not suddenly come down with Tourette's syndrome. Aaron Brocovich is, I recognize the name. She's very famous. I'm just looking at Wikipedia now. She's an American paralegal whistleblower consumer advocate and environmental activist

who is instrumental in building a case against Pacific Gas and Electric Company involving groundwater contamination in Hinkley, California with the help of Attorney Ed Masri in 1993. Their successful lawsuit was the subject of an Oscar-winning film Erin Brockovich that came out of year 2000, starring Julia Roberts.

I've never seen it, but I recognise the name. I think you mean specific gas and electric company. Specific, yes. I do. I do. Well, evidently, Erin's reputation precedes her, and I'm the ignorant one. So I should have known who she was. Well, I just think it's more interesting that she was involved in a case of mass hysteria. Yeah, well, researched it.

Oh, okay. Well, yeah. So we've got a few left. Number four, the monocua. I actually said that out loud. Monopoly is how it's pronounced. The monopoly, yes. This might be, without context, this might be Native American, a Native American word, so I'm probably butchering this. But anyway, in 2002, the people of Uttar Pradesh, oh no, it's in India, I don't know why I thought it was America.

In 2002, the people of Uttar Pradesh in India reported seeing an alien spacecraft that would burn the flesh on people's faces. It was given the name Munoqua, which loosely translates to face scratcher. There were seven deaths associated with the alien. The local police deputy did nothing to calm matters when he made a statement claiming that these afflictions were brought on by some sort of anti-national genetically engineered insect. Oh, God. Stay calm, everyone.

It's not a UFO. It's a genetically engineered insect. Good. And it's anti-national. Villagers stormed police headquarters and demanded protection inciting a riot and leaving one person dead. People even committed suicide to save themselves from these foreign attackers.

In the end, the national government had to step in and send agents to investigate the case. They attributed the whole outbreak to mass hysteria and declared all burn marks and injuries were entirely self-inflicted. Oh, how odd. God, these people are? Yeah.

People are weird. Yeah, they are. Number three is the Tanganyak Tanganiya No what is that Tangan yika Tanganyika laughers You've probably heard of infectious laughter

But nothing like this In 1962 Three young girls from a boarding school in Tanzania began to laugh uncontrollably They would laugh for hours at a time Without being able to stop The laughter spread to other children And became so widespread that the school was forced to shut down

This, however, did not end the epidemic. Some of the girls spread their laughing sickness when they went home. By May, there were 217 reported cases of the laughing flu in the area. Most of the afflicted were school-age children, and when June came and went and the laughter had continued to spread, suddenly it all stopped as soon as it began. In five months, the laughing flu caused 14 schools to close with around 1,000 cases of laughing fits recorded.

You know those kids were all just, getting in on it to get out of school. As soon as the first school closed, the rest of them were like, it's time for us to get sick with this laughter. Go on everyone, start laughing. Yeah. Number two is another somewhat famous one you may have heard of. The Deadly Dancing Mania.

In July of 1518, as disease and famine swept through the streets of Strasbourg, France, a strange thing happened. A woman named Trafea began to dance. After a week of non-stop dancing, others had joined. By August, over 400 people lined the city streets silently dancing. Oh, my God. So creepy. Doctors were mystified, but came to the conclusion the incessant dancing was caused by a fever

and recommended the sufferers continue until the fever burned itself out. She's been going for a year. I know. They were advised to carry on dancing. The city's governor constructed a stage and brought in a band and professional dancers to dance alongside. Might as well monetize it, right? And professional dancers did dance alongside the inflicted.

Soon, people began to pass out from heat exhaustion and some even died. The dancing mania only ended when people were forcibly removed from the streets and taken to shrines to pray to St. John the Baptist or St. Vitus to cure them of the dancing curse. Stranger still, this incident was not the first of its kind. In 13th century, Akken, Germany,

the dancing plague also called called St. John's Dance caused thousands of people to start dancing with uncontrolled emotion. Italy, Holland and Switzerland also experienced these strange bouts of dancing plagues with the last known occurrence taking place in the 17th century. Wow. Do you reckon it was a parasite of some kind? Oh, perhaps, yeah. Yeah, maybe they had like bum worms and they're trying to...

I don't know that they were trying to dance out their bum worms, but like, you know, parasites can cause ticks and things like that and maybe that's causing them to again like with the with this with the stanky leg disease from earlier you know yeah it could just yeah maybe it was some kind of um a strange kind of spasming or something that just looked like dancing or yeah maybe and that finally brings us to number one which is entitled the trouble with nuns because i believe this might actually be a compilation of things that nuns have done not just the Meowing, but we'll get to that. According to the book Epidemics of the Middle Ages by JFC Hecker, seemingly there's enough to fill a book, a baffling case of mass hysteria gripped a secluded convent in France. It all began when one nun began to meow like a cat, an animal that's closely associated with the devil in Catholicism. That's what put on our hot crossbonds, cats.

Soon, others in her company began to meow as well. Together they would sometimes meow for hours at a time. To contain the situation, soldiers were brought in and tasked with whipping and beating the nuns until they promised to stop. Oh my God. Do you promise to be well? Meow.

It's like when you're naughty as a child and your parents threatened to call a police on you if you don't start acting right and then the soldiers come and start whipping. A similar case occurred. in Germany during the 15th century where nuns began to bite one another. When the news traveled,

other nunneries in the area started experiencing the same problem. Soon, the biting epidemic had spread as far as Holland and Rome with no clear explanation as to why this was happening. According to reports from the time, the biting eventually ceased due to the nun's exhaustion.

It were too tired to bite any more. Lastly, I mean, I'm laughing. If this had happened more recently, it would feel inappropriate to laugh because it's like serious medical episodes, but, you know, because it was hundreds of years ago,

for some reason, my brain says, it's fine. It's funny now. Laugh at this, you know, these mental health episodes. But no, I mean, this is actually terrible that this happened. But very strange, all the same. And lastly, the bizarre behavior of both cases is generally credited to the period's intense belief in the supernatural,

as well as the fact that many of the women had been forced into convents by their families to live a lifestyle that demanded celibacy, poverty, and hard manual labour. It's little wonder nuns found themselves particularly susceptible to episodes of hysteria. Oh dear. It must have been quite a fun day in nunnery though when you turn over and Doris is there just meowing in the corner.

You think, yeah, why not? I'll join in as well. Yeah, exactly. You must be bored, stiff, like, sick to death of all the rubbish you have to do that you've been forced into by your families. You're not, it's not even like you've chosen to become a nun. And so you probably think, hey, if I get to be sent to the infirmary for a bit, if I just meow or bite someone, then I'm in.

So there you go. There's various cases of mass hysteria through history. Fantastic. Thank you very much, Peter. You're welcome. Thank you. I'm exhausted now. Yeah, me too.

Well, that concludes, fortunately, this episode of Podius. But before you go anywhere, don't you get? Don't we see you? Stop in. Stop. Don't mark this episode as listened to on your iPhone and then delete it. We see, we know what you're doing. You stop right there while we do some plugs. Mikey, is there some kind of shop?

You're absolutely bloody right. There's a shop. If you go on your web browser of choice and you type in vidiatesofficial.com, you'll be greeted with our wonderful website. But better than our website is our wonderful shop, which is also part of our website. Websites losing all of its meaning as a word help. On our shop. We have lovely t-shirts, a variety of stickers, mug, hoodie and hat, everything you could ever need.

And it feels like we've been saying this for a while now. But we do have something new in the works. It should hopefully be with you and in your faces soon. It's not edible, but you can eat it if you want to. Yeah, we don't advise that. But we can't stop you. But if you just can't wait, you can go to vidyattsofficial.com and click on shop and have a look at our goodies.

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So thank you very much. Mikey. We resume. We get back to the world of Pod Squadia. We begin with Little Bitty Kitty Committee The very generous Katie Kinsolo Thank you very much and hope you're doing better

Big Titty Jesus 42 Rain Drop Joy Connor Mr Milk The Birthday Boy Listen to more motor music Lord Brotovitch And Donak 07 Thank you all

Also blobby's throbbing ovipositor Creamy muck X Walschuk X Xer this week, Pete and Mike in Da Ben Gallow, Ainsley-Hariot, Savory Caroline Dun-Dun-Dun, and Mr. Masturbator. And finally we have Dick Your Dom in Da Bumgolo, Ben's relatable anxiety, Jack O'Mack 43, Yuck-Foo-Weddy-Fever, 420, John Tickle made me go, hmm, Holden Hiscock, Anita Dick, and Blobeck, Blobitzer. Thank you, everyone. That's your pod squad for this week. Once again, pottyats.com three pounds or more

to get a shout out at the beginning at the end of the show. We love you. Thank you. What's out on videos this week five years ago, Peter? This week, this fortnight, we have got Wallace and Grommet's

impossible train game, piece of cake. That's good one. Prove It, The Sims 3, part one. Skyrim Zoo, chapter 5. Necromancing Queen. Memory cards for April 2nd, which is Hannah Montana. something, Lego Star Wars and Mortal Kombat 2.

We've got Poddiet's episode 3, but with a pigeon. Talking on Takeshi's Castle in Nippon... Sorry, taking on Takeshys Castle in Nippon Marathons' Lobster Mode. Postum Tat number 7, the Montana Motherlode. Worst Games Ever game selection for the 5th of April 2018. I think that was around the time we started doing selection videos, actually. We've got Prove It, The Sims 3. Part 2. Worst games ever, Nauty Bear.

In the spotlight, a way out. Skyrim Zoo, Chapter 6, The King of Carrot Flowers. Memory cards for April the 9th, which is Spider-Man, Mario Kart Wee, and Postal 2. Luomo di Milano, the man from Milan, Part 1, Betrayal. That was the Milanoir brand deal we did. Post from tat number 8. Happy Birthday Tiny Peter. Oh, thanks.

Thanks, videos. Happy birthday. And where am I going up to? One more. We've got Prove It the Sims 3 Live Action Challenge part one. Nice. What a bounty.

What a Fortnite. Go check those out. Watch or relive the Vidyat's year. Real time. From Fortnite to Fortnite. Mikey, are you on the internet somewhere? Sometimes. When I do poke my head on the internet,

you can find me at Parrot Boy. on Twitter go look at it I'm not sure what's on there but it's the best place to keep up with whatever it is I'm doing yeah it is and Peter where are we? We are together

at Team Triple Jump on YouTube and Twitch and social media Twitter and Facebook as well but individually as well you can find us on Twitter at Confused underscore dude and at that Peter Austin where we do all sorts of silly things

Why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms And it does help And it doesn't cost you anything Just give a little back for free And we'd really appreciate it just take five minutes With yeah, that'd be great But you know what, just do it now

Thank you, we'll wait No, we won't Do we have a final question before we eat fuck off Maybe hot cross bun recipes or Yeah, what's your ideal hot cross bun? Maybe. Yeah, how's that sound? Great.

Well, thanks for listening, everybody. You look after yourselves until next time, and I hope you had a great Easter weekend. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Thank you. Thank you.