Podiots - Podiots: Episode 127 - Bovine Vril

Episode Date: August 5, 2023

Mikey is chewing foam, Ben's at a con, and Peter is identifying flying objects. Join next episode's Pod Squad: http://podiots.com And check our website and store: http://vidiotsofficial.com -------------------   Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS!   Support Ben and Peter: https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump   YouTube: https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Okay, flights on air Canada. Oh, wow. Majorca, that's new. Oh, nice. But Vienna is a classic Mozart, palaces and schnitzel. Mm-mm, now you're cooking. If you're hungry, deli brings the heat.

Heat. Cartagena's got sun and the sea to cool off. So does Martinique. Mmm, and that French cuisine? Book it. Yes, chef. Wait, what about Lyon? Choose from our world of destinations, if you can.

Air Canada. Nice travels. Bank more oncores when you switch to a Scotia Bank banking package. Learn more at scotia bank.com slash banking packages. Conditions apply. Scotia Bank, you're richer than you think. Guys, breaking news. Further developments.

This was actually sent in as a thing, but I think we need to just get it done now. Conor Ryan at Conorion underscore on Twitter tells us, according to Bristol Live, another seagull has been stuck in Bedminster Asda for three days. And it could be the same one. The subheading says, no one is absolutely certain whether this is a new bird

or the one who spent 16 days inside the store last month. Oh, man. Just coming home. Just going home. Yeah, I'll send you the picture of what looks like, Like, it could very easily be a fake seagull, to be honest, if we didn't know any better. But there it is, just hanging out in the rafters. That looks like a toy.

Yeah, it does. Oh, there it is, little deed. But, yeah, apparently it's just, it's back. And the article is obviously, you know, it's like 300 words long, but it basically just says the seagull is back, and we don't know if the same one, and that's it. And then it just rehashes the old story. story, but there we go. Are you going to try and visit it, Michael?

Oh, I was going to. Then I just read the last line of the article there. An ASDA spokesperson confirmed on Sunday, July 30th, 2023 that the second bird has been safely removed. Oh, wow. They missed it. Oh, wow. Yeah, I mean, it didn't sadly get the 16-day holiday the other one got.

No. But by the sounds of it, we won't have to wait too long for another one to enter the premises. Yeah. Fast becoming the most. recurring character on pottyets now it's a decent turnaround that bird declared fit and health again was released

in Victoria Park it says fit and health good good stuff that's what's going on in yeah yeah exactly that's what's going on in as the Bedminster what's going on in your lives

you well boys you happy doing all right nothing to complain about well Well, and Potter, um, yeah, there was a bit of a mishap today. And, uh, I'm, I'm coping. I'm coping with it.

Okay. Um, as you both know and some listeners will know, I'm a bicycle man now. I ride bicycles. And I've recently moved house. And if you're watching the video version, you'll see that I've moved into Dick and Dom's bungling, which is very exciting. Uh, and as such, I need a new way to get to work. Because previously I would walk. When I moved here, I had every intention of cycling.

And I did for three days. Yeah. Today was the third time I cycled in. And I locked up the bicycle. And then I said goodbye to Peter after a busy day of making content. And we sort of said, see you in a bit for more content. And then I walked outside. The bicycle was not there.

Someone has stolen my bicycle. And the worst part is it's not even my bicycle. It's my partner's sister's bicycle that I was borrowing and so I've had their bike stolen and I've had to apologise to them and reported to the police and then I had to Uber home

and now I don't know what I'm going to do because the fucking metro is shut this week at the place where I currently reside because of course it is because they're doing essential maintenance or some shit and so I will have to walk an hour and a half

to work to work? Are you going to walk to work? Can't you just walk to a different metro station? I could but like walking would be more direct and so that's what I'm going to do. Wow like that whole walk you're just going to be festering and angry like I wish I had my bike, I wish I'm my bike. What if the weather is

like it's been for the past three weeks? You're just going to be sad and angry and wet. I mean I already got rained on the Well, yeah, I guess the bike as well. Yeah. In fact, I was getting rained on faster because I was cycling into the rain. So I will, it'll be fine.

I've looked it up and apparently it's not going to rain tomorrow morning, which of course means that it will. But I have had a bicycle stolen today and I will now take any questions that you might have. Do you have CCTV there? Because this is like, let's put out an appeal. Let's get these bastards and let's get your bike back. Hashtag get Ben's bike back.

Yeah. I believe there should be CCTV around there. At the very least, you will probably see someone wheeling it away. Yes. Because it was locked up. So someone, I think, must have just gone up and clipped it off and then walked off with it. There were three other bikes there. When I left.

Yes. Yeah. Oh, so yours was picked out of the lineup. I want that one. The other ones were a bit dusty and shit. Yeah, I want that one. The other ones were a bit dusty and shit. So maybe they weren't interested.

but maybe someone had just been scouting out my bike for the past few days and was like, yeah, I'll have that. If it comes back again, I'll take that because I know it's going to be here all day. And yeah, what's the fucking point in having a bike rack if people are just going to nick bikes from it? Just an advert. This is where the bikes will be. Yeah.

It might as well be a fucking, I don't know what. Just help yourself. It's just a buffet, a bicycle buffet. Delicious. Like an animal crossing. Every day you go to Tom Nook. shop to see what new goodies are there. The thief rocks up like, ooh, what new bikes are in today? I'll have a bit of that one. This one, very nice. A women's bike. I think I will.

So I just, I walked back in and I just sat down at my desk for 20 minutes, not really knowing what to do. So I couldn't, I just didn't, after the day that we have had, which has been so busy, I did not have it in me to call the police. And also, it's technically not my bike. So I, I, I, wouldn't have even been able to describe it because I don't know what brand it is I've never paid close enough attention to it in the short time I've been riding it to sort of get to know it visually

I have now been sent photos of it but I report thankfully I was able to report it online I have zero faith the police will do fucking anything to help nope that thing's gone I'm gonna see maybe I can report it on the home insurance maybe I can do that I don't know yeah give it a go

fuck them let's see if I can get a bike out of it but yeah that's how I'm doing if you give it a couple of months do the cult hololic guys still do the magnet fishing streams maybe they can bring that back fish out of the time yeah oh god even if it's not your bike I'm sure there's a bike down there

that you could claim as your own yeah there'll be a free bike in there a rusty bike's better than no bike well I would like to what would be really good segue now is, hey, well, if you want to support Ben buying a new bike, you can do so by going to Podiat's stream labs. But we've got to do the intro first. So that's not going to happen. We do. Hold that thought. I'll throw it to you, Peter, for an amazing segue in like five minutes.

Thanks. Please do. Should we run the music? Yes. Let's do it. Hello everybody and welcome to Pottie. It's the official. Vidiates. Podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some, where we, oh, hang on, I've got it written down, where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us, where everybody brings a thing, a lot to talk about.

I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. I was so close. I was so close. I was so close. I nearly did it. I just, I was on the right track.

as well. I thought I was, I thought I'd fucked it up, but I was actually doing it correctly. Again, if you're not aware, we have a video version of this podcast now on YouTube where you can see our faces as we do it. And as such, I'm having to make eye contact with the camera while introducing it for the first time ever. And usually I read from notes on my phone. So I am, I have a crisis of confidence every time we do an episode now that I'm going to fuck it up. But it's okay. We're all right. All right. You nailed it. Pretty much. Doing great. It's been great, sweetie.

Thank you. Michael, you've been, like, to another country or something. Absolutely bonkers. Did you know there's places outside of England and they're actually quite nice? Like, whoa, it's nuts. I'm not sure about that, but okay. I went to visit the noble land of San Diego, California the other week to attend Comic-Con, which is quite fun, out there with work, shooting some interviews for the new Spider-Man

and a Star Wars game. I'm sorry, I really should know more about the games than that, but there's so many Star Wars games in development. Yeah, there are to be fair. One of the Star Worms. But yeah, it was nice, but on that trip, I realized I am not a convention man in any way, even being in like, I guess what is the Holy Grail,

like the mecca of stinky nerds converging in a big hall. Yeah. It's actually happy to report the smell wasn't bad. I did not notice any way. at any point so well done uh deodorants made its way over and they are using it and boy are they using it well interesting i using it so well oh my god they're doing great i uh while i was there one of my all-time favorite internet gangs mega 64 were there uh so i made the effort of going to see them at the booth got a picture with them chat them chat to them for a bit and they were like

oh we're doing a panel tomorrow night come along to it you know make the most of your time here so i was like yeah why not uh i went to the the panel and 20 minutes in, a fire alarm was pulled and the entire convention was evacuated. Oh, wow. That was like a proper once-in-a-lifetime thing. Like, it's their 20th anniversary. And just before the fire alarm went off, they were like, oh, every time we do a panel, we like to show off, you know, a little something, like something that's never been made public

before, like little stuff that just never seen the light day. And like, just as they were getting ready to play that video, just briep, rip. Please evacuate the building. So I'll never know what that secret clip was. Mega 64 are the best. I'm a big fan of their stuff. Admittedly, I don't watch like week to week, but I watched a lot of their videos a while ago.

Their game parody ones are excellent. Yes, very good boys. Foundational to me as an internet man, so very nice to meet them. Anyway, how are you both doing? All right, I guess, yeah. I've been away for a few days just with the family. That was nice and nice.

and not too wet. We're in the south of the country where it seemingly was not as moist as it is in the north, northeast. Mind you, Bristol, I remember Bristol being pretty wet, but we were further over sort of around Essex. Yeah, Bristol's still a rainy boy, so don't even. Had a good time.

How are you banned apart from the events of today this evening? Yeah, otherwise all right. trying to remember what happened the weekend just gone, went to our colleague Ashton Matthews house to celebrate her birthday. That was exciting. And that was good fun. And this weekend I am going to Wales, which I'm really looking forward to. Very nice. I fucking need it now. So that'll be lovely. I'm going to drink too much. And maybe like one of those. lanterns that starts forest fires in memory of the bicycle that's gone

Yeah, yeah It's what the bicycle would have wanted Yeah, I think so Push it directly towards maybe a neighbouring property Yeah Or something like that Yeah, a lot of barns around, a lot of hay See if I can, I'm sure I can do some damage that way

Someone will run out to the hay going It's not even my barn, it's my sisters Oh god My partner's sisters Yeah, yeah And you know what, that'll make me feel a little bit better So they deserve it If only there was an amazing segue right now, Peter.

Yeah, well, if you want to support that person getting their barn rebuilt when they sue us, because Ben burnt it down, you can do so by going to streamlabs.com. Poddiots.com. Well, you can do that too. You can't go to streamlabs.com for us slash pottyts donations, but yeah, pottyts.com is the better way to do it. Oh, yeah. So efficient.

You can, like, go on that website three times more than you could before, just the amount of time you're saving, not typing in your sleigh. You're right. Think how much more time you'll have to type in the huge. number that you're going to donate to us. That's true. Yeah, poddiots.com will send, we'll take you there slightly quicker and therefore leave you more time to donate more money. Um, and, uh, for as little as three dollars, I don't have the notes in front of me, but is it dollars? Pounds. Three pounds or more. Uh, you get a shout out at the

beginning and the end of the show. Just like, and for more, you get a personal message read as well. Yes, you do. Just like, get your hands off my Johnson. get your hands off my potter an antita bath antita bath yes I'm saying that right Antita yeah Antita I don't know if that's intentional

I like it more Antita bath Donak 07 Ziggy Stardust and the Knob spiders from Mars Steven Scores Lord Brotovitch Freddie Weberbebebebebebebebe

And the generous Otokano, who says, Got Husband to listen to your shout out. Jesus, I was having kittens when you forgot to do Pod Squad. A couple of days... Yeah, sorry, we try the best. Sorry about that. A couple of days early as he was having a rough time. It made him smile beams and even a little teary.

Thank you for making his day, keys, keys. Oh, glad it went down a treat. We've never forgotten Pod Squad before that day. It just changed slightly on that. occasion. Again, I blame it on the video component. Everything's up in the air. You don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if we're dealing in pounds or dollars. I don't know what our URL is. Who knows? It's definitely pounds. If you do dollars, make sure you do the pound equivalent. That's how it works. The list continues with Hap Ben housewarming.

George Bab Clooney. Okay. Pottiats FM coming in your ear. Brian Briann Blobbyfield Bobby Caballoonie Mrs Gibbon who says He was very generous and says We do not want your comments, Peter Austin That was actually the name of that teacher And I guess I said that at the time

Either that or someone has massively docks to me Mike the Gioed Johnson Lukewarm Pete Austin Ben there's no one named Potter And Shieldfield Liberation Army. And finally we have

on a takeaway mission Bobby Caballoonie. That's another one there. T.P.'s Delight at Mikey Puking. Donak 07. Mr. Macker. Bobby underscore blobby. Press any key to continue.

The artst formerly known as Brin's Peafcakes. Hetty-bow Betty. That's Bartex Fave Pokemon ride on D's nuts It was a good finish

even though it was in reverse I like it He'll be a Pokemon right That's like Gen 10 or something Yeah sure Thank you so much to the Pod Squad for this week Remember three pounds or more Get to a shout out at the beginning

And the end of the podcast And allows you to join Pod Squad Do you guys have a favourite Ride on These Nuts Yeah it is Isn't it? It's got to be that. And hey, all those clever people doing Bobby Caballoonie.

That was literally the name of the episode. So the fact that two or three people did it, sorry, I'm not that impressed. That's what it's called. You don't impress me much. No, I don't. We didn't say it, though, at the time. I don't know why none of us came up with Bobby Caballoonie.

I was disappointed, to be honest. We've let ourselves down. Yeah. Well. Speaking of letting people. down. Yeah, let's get on with the content. So, who would like to go first?

Ben Potter, I don't think you went first last time, so you can go first this time. Okay, am I going first with my listener submitted thing? I think that's what we've been doing, isn't it? It's been three weeks. Yeah. Yeah. It feels right. You do that.

Okay, I've got a listener submitted thing here, and the way this works is that we will put out a request on Twitter. We're not going to stop calling it Twitter for you to submit something that's happened in your local area and made a local news site in the past couple of weeks. You know, the weird, the wonderful, the strange. That's what we want. That's what we want you to send us.

And this one was sent in by fucking lords of you. It was. And it was by Fast Touch at Bjorn Q. Adam Salter at Leather underscore Duck. And what's that cat kissing emoji? Lama emoji at X pink glasses. and Thomas Bundgard at Turtle with Ties. So thank you to all of you for sending this in.

This is a new story from ITV.com and the categories are World China Animals and Bears. Good categories. Very relevant. A Chinese zoo denies sun bear is human in a bear suit. It's Cocoa the gorilla. Oh my God. It's Cocoa the gorilla.

He's got a new job. He's got a new shooter dog. elsewhere. And this photo is compelling evidence that this is a man in a sun bear costume. Yeah. I will send you, do you want me to read it first? No, yeah, you send a photo. I also found a photo on a different news outlet that is astounding.

But yeah, you send that one. I'll put it, I'm ready to send it. I'm going to read a bit more first and then I'll send it to you guys. Videos of a bear standing upright left some people wondering if the bear might actually be an actor in a bear suit. A zoo in China has had to deny suggestions one of its bears might actually be a person in a bear suit after photos of the animals standing like a human circulated online. The sun bears from Malaysia are smaller than other bears and look different, but are the real thing. The Hangzhou Zoo, brilliant, said, or Hangzhou Zoo said on social media on Monday.

Some people think, I stand like a person, said the post, written from the bear's point of view. Wait, that's not helping the case, isn't it? Or maybe just the man inside the bear costume. it seems you don't understand me very well. Internet users questioned whether the zoo's bears were real, the zoo's bears were real after photo circulated showing one standing upright on slender hind legs. Because of the way they stand,

some people online question whether they are humans in disguise, the newspaper hangs out daily remarked. Sun bears, humans in disguise. Sun bears are the size of large dogs, standing at most 1.3 meters, it says, on their hind legs compared with 2.8 metres for grizzlies and other species, according to the zoo. The Chinese zoos have been accused of trying to pass off dogs

died to look like wolves or African cats and donkeys painted to look like zebras, it says. Do you want to see this bear? Yeah. I mean, I saw it when I sent it to you, but it's excellent. It's obviously a man in a wansie. Look at, look at where it's all rumpling up around his bottom. Yeah, a wansy that doesn't fit.

Oh, it's kind of nasty, actually. Yeah. Oh, they look a lot cuter when they're sitting down, kind of. Sun bears are fantastic, but that one in particular is a person. Oh, I just sent that to Peter. I'm really sorry. That's okay. But Mike, he seems to have found it. Oh, that's a good good one.

Look at that, Michael. What do you think? Right. I'm going to describe it for the people at home. This is a man inside of a bear costume. Yeah. Well, look at this picture that I found on a table. different article, where it's fucking waving like an actual person.

That's just, that's just Derek. That's just a man called Derek. It is Derek. He's been told, no, please don't wave like a human being. They're on to us. You're not supposed to do that. Yeah. For the sake.

As soon as keep doing more and more human-like things. Look, this one's gone shopping. For the views at home, I mean, like, God, it just looks like a very wrinkly loose wansy from the back like if you chop off the head then it just looks like

someone in a wansy and like and then put like I don't know like a decapitated bare head over it and started waving at crowds and started

as having a bit of fun with it it's like the proportions are so human yeah it's like the wrinkly skin is what makes it

because it does just look like a piece of clothing that's rucked up a bit at the back yeah it doesn't fit at all oh dear I believe it's a man in a suit.

Me too. Yeah. That's the second one now. We know there are two. Well, there were two. Now there's just one. Do we have the name of this bear? I don't know if we do, actually.

That would be good to know. Why's the bear not been named? Well, Derek, isn't it? Well, yeah, we could, no, Derek is the man inside the bear costume. The man inside Coco, the bear. Where's this post? They say that a post, they quote from a post, but they don't link to it. it.

Yeah. Which isn't very helpful. The zoo-zoo-zoo. What was it called? Han-Zo-Zu. Hang-Zo-Zu. Right. I'm looking around and there doesn't seem to be anyone putting a name to the bear.

Yeah. Which, I mean, again, I think that's more evidence in it being a human because usually like zoos are pretty keen to name all their animals. But if it's just like a last minute job like, ah, fuck, we said we'd have a bear by now. Get in the suit and get out there. Let's not bring any attention to it by naming you. Again, the conspiracy grows. In a statement written from the perspective of a sun bear named Angela, officials from Hangzhou Zoo said people didn't understand the species.

According to CNN.com, yeah. Okay, so the bear's called Angela. Apparently, that seems very suspicious. I don't know if I believe that. No. I'm also not sure about the fact that as you said that oh he shares an

he wait so the male is it a male bear called Angela it says in a different article he shares an enclosure with a female sunbear called babu who comes from the Czech Republic yeah Angela is a is a male bear oh good for them

okay they're having a lovely time just two humans that's on me as well for just having you know, preconceptions about the gender and the name of a bear based on that. A man. A man. Sorry, of a man inside a bear suit. There goes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's what it is. Well, there we are. That was my listener submitted news. Thanks, listeners. Absolutely horrifying. I do I recommend Googling this if you're at home. Yeah, it's just a bit uncary good.

A lot of animal-related news submitted by the listeners. There was another story that I didn't bring along in the end, because I don't know how comical it really is, but the two male brother manatees, one of them has just died because they've been buggering, buggering each other to death. Oh my God.

It had like a 14-inch anal injury that killed it. Jesus. Oh, my God. And like four people sent this story. They were like, hey, this will be good for your comedy podcast. How are you meant to react to that? I don't know. That's not good news. No, it's not.

The aquarium knew this was going on and they were like, look, we're going to cause them more stress if we separate them, to be honest. So we're just going to let them carry on. And then it ended with my anus is bleeding. And that's it. It's dead now. Jesus Christ.

I guess of all the ways to go, that's not one of the worst. I don't actually. It does sound pretty bad. I guess for a creature of that type, it's probably one of the nicer ways to go at least. Maybe so. Rest and peace, little buddy. Thanks, everyone.

for all your bear and manatee news. That made up about 50% of the submissions this week. So, Mikey, it's your turn to do your own thing now. Well, I am going to continue on the animal theme. Oh, cool. And I have another nautical nuisance. I think we've had quite a few now, actually. Has it always been warruses?

I feel like we've done at least two stories of animals being shits in the ocean. Yeah, orcas and warruses. Yeah. Yeah, we've done walkers. And now we have a third critter to enter the realm of the nautical knobheads. That's the gang name, there we go. The nautical norbats. It's the fourth pod squad team.

If you were to take a swim in the clear blue waters surrounding Santa Cruz, California in recent days, you may have encountered an unlikely predator. Small and dark, whiskered and fluffy, she has developed a knack for three. theft and a taste for surfboards for bicycles she's going to come for you so this is and this

is their name 841 and they are sea otter oh little little little sea otter lovely very cute I'll send some pictures in a second once we get more into the nitty gritty of the story don't want to

spoil it for you it's a sight to be Oh, come on. This week, the US Fish and Wildlife Service announced it had launched a multi-agency search for Otter 841. Actually, I was going to say I'm unhappy with them. I guess it makes sense. If you've got a lot of animals to look after, just name them numbers. It's a lot easier to kind of keep track them that way. Angela.

Angela. There we go. Order 841, colloquially known as Angela. But I quite like the idea of like an agency. like multiple agencies come together in the hunt for Otta 841 makes it sound like a science experiment gone wrong yeah

um do da da da da oh I've lost my sentence midway through it it had launched a multi-agency search for Otta 841 in an attempt to capture and re-home her after observing her concerning and unusual behavior it says

teams from the US and state wildlife agencies have been sent out to sea armed with a bait surfboard but so far she has evaded apprehension. A bait surfboard, wow. What does that look? Do we have a photo of that?

Is it made from surfboard or is it made from food? I think it might be. I'm just going to send a picture. This is sadly not of the bait surfboard, but I think it is maybe just a surfboard like smeared in peanut butter or something. Oh, wow. But look at a little guy. Very new at the surfboard.

Oh, bless him. He's trying his best. She's trying her best. So yeah, for weeks this summer, Audit 841 has been approaching surfers at sea, stealing and even damaging their equipment, leaving large bite marks on brightly painted surfboards. They say large bite marks.

It's quite a small animal in comparison to the surfboard. Comparatively large. Local surfers have never seen anything like it. A local photographer told the BBC, who's been following the journey for quite a while now, once saw her, and this is my favorite quote Ride a decent wave

on a stolen surfboard Oh come on We need video of that Not a good wave Not a good wave But like a decent one You know for an otter On a stolen human

Oh my god is this another human Could this be another human It could be yeah Are there any animals left do you think It's in the world Humans They've all been replaced by Assorted sizes of men in

suits. Oh dear. Yeah, I like, God, I wish there was photos of it on a board, but instead we just get little nibbles. It's very strange, he said. Sea otters have never gone near surfers before. The complete tale of this otter begins a little over five years ago

with a different otter, Otter 723. Living in the wild in the central coast of California, 723 was fed by humans and soon became habituated to people. And they're snacks. And after... Snacks. Snacks. Discord was like, what the fuck is that?

I'm going to turn that down. That sounds like a noise. It sounds like noise. After she began approaching kayaks and paddle boards in the search of food, 723 was recaptured and sent to live at the Marine Wildlife Veterinary Care and Research Center nearby. That's a shame. They're getting comfortable. It's like, all right, back in detention for you.

Poor thing. Yeah, go on. Off you fuck. But there, sign. scientists soon realized she was pregnant with a female pup. That pup was Otter 841. It runs in the family. So she was raised at the Monterey Bay Aquarium

where researchers took precautions to stop her mother's love of humans from being passed on. I'd like to see what that involves. It's just showing pictures of humans and like, this is bad. Scary. Swapping it gently, you know, mild animal abuse.

Just giving you. giving it a little bit of a scare. Otter 841's caretaker. Oh, wait, no, this is how they do it. Otter 841's caretakers would wear black ponchos and welding masks, nicknamed the Darth Vader outfit whenever they fed her. Oh, my God. What the hell is this psychological torture on a otter pup?

So this otter has a dark past, then? This is a villain origin story right here. Yeah, no wonder it's attacking surfports. Oh my God, it does paint a whole picture Like the number names Like just imagine like you rock up for work At the Otter prison All right David

You're shifting the Darth Vader outfit 821 needs feeding Ah right, here we go Yeah It's like something from a DreamWorks movie It's like chicken run or something So yeah They fed this little baby otter

In the most terrifying way And eventually was released back out to sea they swam around for a while eight and just floated around California's

central coast without incident alongside a small population of other otters smart and wily otters are top predators of

invertebrates foraging and eating a quarter of their own body weight and food every day so yeah there's absolutely

oh wait no I've got there is a picture of them on a surfboard here sorry I completely lost a trail of my thought

brilliant that's it that's the one For those at home, it is an otter on a surfboard. It is exactly what it sounds like. Hang on, have we got to the part yet where we work out how they're stealing these surfers? Are they, like, attacking humans and taking it, or are they just dragging it into the ocean, or how is this working? I think there's some information later on, so I'm not going to, I'm not going to divulge if you get to the end and we don't.

Let's take an educated guess, why not? But yeah, so the photographer who's been keeping an eye on 841 said she's a very healthy girl and she's very big as well. You called one time watching her hang out in the water eating crab after crab after crab. So 841's eating good. But then reports emerged of her hanging out with surfers visits that soon escalated. Last week, the photographer captured these photos showing them peacefully. bobbing along atop a stolen surfboard

but shit to be caught this is weird because like what what is the otter doing to scare the humans away so much to the point where like that's your board mate

don't don't please leave me alone how is it getting the board I saw a clip of what I think must have been something to do with this story like last week or something I didn't realize there was like some sort of ongoing problem

I thought it was literally just a one off occasion of an otter on a surfboard or like around a surfboard and the caption on the video said something like it's illegal to handle otters in any way as a human so I think there's just not a lot they can do like if the otter gets on and maybe is even

I don't know if it's story might tell us more but maybe it's even like attacking the humans like trying to bite them I think they have to just do nothing and then abandon their board watch it slowly get dragged off into the distance I have a very fat otter So yeah, I captured the photo of her on a surfboard But yeah, she started to become increasingly aggressive

With videos showing her accosting swimmers Wrestling surfboards out of their hands And hopping on boards herself before dragging them away So yes, this is a quite a vicious otter And yeah, I think I imagine an otter bite is not a fun one So keep your hands clear And the otter developed a particular preference For foam surfboards frequently used by beginners

and seemingly better for an otter to sink her teeth into. I think this otter used to go to the swimming baths in my local town because those foam things always had bite marks out of them. Yeah, well, they're kind of, they are irresistible to bite though, aren't they? Yeah, delicious foam. Who among us can say they have not bitten the foam board? Everyone's bit in the foam. What did you call them?

The floaties, I guess. No. Floties? No. We called them woggles. Woggles? Are you talking about the stringy ones? the yeah like the long

little bit of pool noodles I believe okay I don't if we call them that back then maybe Woggles actually but now I think they're called I hear them called pool noodles it's probably in Americanism but the square ones we were just called

floats I think floaties little floats I know sadly this otter I mean maybe that's an idea start shipping out little floaties to put in the ocean to distract them and pollute the ocean that way that'd be nice just to keep the keep the surfers safe um does as soon as she uh so yeah like so one day said he watched her like

chill in the water being a normal otter like feeding eating normal lot of things not foam surfboards um and then once she finished eating she just went over to the surfers bit every single surfboard and then picked the rainbow one and stole it okay brilliant so like yeah it's calculated yeah in in design there yeah yeah so it's calculated which i don't know if that makes it better or worse that the otter is now choosing a favourite board to then go home with, but at least they're putting some thought into it. Yeah. So the aquarium

is still unsure why she, like her mother, seems immune to the fear of humans, which plagues many other otters. She may have had an early positive interaction with humans. Maybe they've really liked the Darth Vader outfit. That is a trustworthy person. Yeah.

But at the minute, otter 841 is at large and is out there. I guess they once they're out there it's pretty hard to track them down and get them back in so if you have any plans to go to santa cruz soon uh watch out for eight four one because they're coming for you especially if you've got a foamy rainbow board i go and they'll have a treat and have a day with you which is that's it'll take you for all your worth yeah that's very cute they're just a little guy just have a little fun on the on the ocean let them have

the surfboards. Look at that. That's fantastic. Oh, look at that in a picture. It's not like otters can buy surfboards if they want, so they kind of have to resort to stealing them. So I say otter power. Go for it.

Otter power. Right. So we got orcas sinking the billionaires. We've got otters. Lying on stuff. Yeah, lying on boats and breaking. Yeah, attacking the millionaires. And then otters are going after people who like surfing.

So all the bases are covered. Yeah. All the water. all the water sports. Yeah, they're reclaiming the oceans, these animals. Stay tuned for who's next. Thank you very much, boys. And we've even got, it's not even just water animals, actually.

It's just general coastal animals, because we've got the seagulls in the supermarkets now. And the greggis. That's true. We've taken over all of them. Thank you, Michael. You're very welcome. So it's now time for me to do my listener submitted thing. This is from Calcifer at calcifer underscore dragon.

It's according to ladbibble.com written by Jess Battison, who says, Mum discovers biggest weather spoon chip, so large she thought it was fake. Oh, my God. It's a man in a chip costume. It could be. Is it arrest? I'll send you the picture straight away because, you know, you already know everything there is to know pretty much. It is a very silly write-up.

Wow. That is a big chip. Just big as a fork. It's massive. Yeah, it is. That's amazing. Yeah. Wow.

How bad those onion rings look. In fact, the chips look pretty bad as well. Oh, that is a stonger of a chip. Yeah, that's like the size of your forearm. If you've got pork-sized forearms, please do. I want to know who this person is. I want to know presumably just how busy they are day to day. Yeah.

And, you know, they've got a lot going. on, obviously. I want to hear all about it. Probably going to do some filler where they describe the history of the chip. Yeah, what is a chip? Humanity. The universe started with the big bang.

And the chips were born. Shortly after we had chips. Here we go. One mum couldn't believe her luck when she was served an absolute whopper of a chip in a weather spoon pub. Sophie Turnock was actually disappointed

when she was served up her meal at a spoon in Stoke-on-Trent. Oh, outstanding. Historic town, yeah. The 24-year-old's cheese and bacon burger meal came with a, quote, poultry 15 chips. But one of them, she believes, is, quote, the biggest weather spoon chip in the world.

In the world. God. Could be. She claims the monster fry was almost the size of her fork, a mega seven inches in length. I like how it says she claims as though there's not photographic evidence right there. The mum of two didn't notice the gargantuan treat

hidden under her other food until son, thin, six, pinched a chip from her plate. Sophie even claims it was that big the family broke it open to see if it was fake. They just couldn't... They just didn't believe a chip could be so huge.

Oh my God. What a stupid story A stupid writer An exciting day Yeah A bit chippery There's then that photo That I already sent you guys

And the caption is She didn't think the chip was real It was so big No It can't be real Was it? The article continues Finn come look at this

Break it open Break it open See if it's a lot of Get the press on the phone The article continues She says this large piece of potato made up for the low chip count as it was the size of three chips in one. Whoa! Sophie says we were like, whoa!

Look at the size of that chip. I was so gobsmacked by it. I was like, what potato has this come from? Honestly, the potato has got to have been the size of the chip. So how have they got a potato this big? It doesn't get any better than this. This is. Can we get a Pulitzer Prize for this article, please?

This is unbelievable journalism. Right. In a quotable whip, the mum added, I've never seen a potato that big. It's a quotable whip. Yeah. She said, I reckon it's an 18 centimetre, that's 7 inch chip.

And I'm not exaggerating. You wouldn't believe it if I'd. didn't take a picture of it next to the fork. And another thing that confused Sophie was other people's response, as she admitted to being baffled by the fact that the weather... Hang on. She admitted to being baffled

by the fact that the Weatherspoon workers didn't keep the chip to talk about and just put it on a plate. Okay. She presumably thought, wow, they're going to want to like, not serve this to someone. Someone's put this on my plate and just let it go out.

Why has someone just done that? Oh my God. I'm also picturing her getting up after like acknowledging how big the chip is and going around all the tables around and wagging. But he's in this? Look, look how big it is. Proud of her find.

She said, I actually think it's the biggest weather spoon chip in the world. Is it? And her son. Yeah, it could be. Are they posing with the chip? They're not actually. No.

They might be posing at weather spoons, but here they are. There, having a good time. That looks like a couple of spoons. No. It's just... It might be their house, actually. The mum gave Finn the honour of eating up the fork-sized surprise once she'd snapped a few picks to share on social media, of course.

Of course, yeah. He enjoyed it. He said it tasted like a normal chip. Just massive. Yeah, if it was a chip, it will taste like a chip, it will taste like a chip, but massive. It tastes massive. It tastes massive. How did you bring out the flavour of massive in this chip?

Chip is massive. Although it was well enjoyed and made her day, that's also a quote, the diner claims she probably should have contacted someone about the chip because it could have set records. A regular weather spoon diner The family are now on the lookout For more mega chips in future meals Another quote It was just the most random thing to happen

It made our day We didn't stop talking about it Sophie shared a photo of the large fry On Facebook on the 16th of June Racking up more than 200 likes, comments and shares Soffy's post reads 15 chip count here but definitely made up for it with this massive chip.

Viewers were equally amazed by the size, saying, would love to see the spud that came from. A second said, Crikey, that's a big one. A third commented, Woparoonie. Woparuni!

These people aren't real. Men in suits. Hi, Evelyn. It's Wobby Woparuni. Weavy Woparuni. And that's where the article ends. Brilliant. A third commented, Woperooney.

I would, I think we need a follow-up article. We need to turn this into a drama, really. Is David Tennant free? Could be, yeah. Who do you want to cast us the chip? Oh, a huge person. Maybe Richard Osmond or someone. Richard Osmond would be a good chip.

He would be a good chip. Very good, sure. Maybe Shaq. Do you reckon Shaq would be interested in bringing it? Possibly. Chip. Yeah, that's a good idea. Shack as Woparuni.

I improved the chip in using digital imagery. It expands beyond the bounds of the image. This chip cannot be tamed. That's very good. The transparency, I'm a big fan of that. I've made it a lot bigger than it was. So, unfortunately, it appears that chips can be bigger because I've got a photo that proves it.

It's the size of at least two forks, I think, anyway. Fantastic image. While you were talking through that, I did start Googling Biggest Weatherspoon chip to see if there's any other contenders. And I do think it is, like, it's definitely in the running battle looks of things. The other big chips are Frankenstein chips that have been cobbled together from multiple chips, which is cheating. That's not, there's no joy in that.

But this isn't the weirdest weather. chip enjoyer, it seems, because there's apparently one man who is trying to collect a chip from every weather spoons in the UK. Oh my God, he's keeping them in a little card binder like Pokemon. It's like a Pokemon folder. So for the views at home, this is, it's like a trading card binder with a chip in each pouch and with a lovely little handwritten label with the name of the weather spoons and where it is.

That is ridiculous. See, if the Apart from just trying to get the visual out of my head of this man sitting down being served his food and then plonking his chip binder onto the table. Yeah, the internet didn't exist. There's the plate in the background. I assume that was at home.

Oh, he's in public. He's in public. If the internet didn't exist, this man will be hauled off to some sort of hospital. Yeah. Because that is so not normal behaviour. And also, those binders, I have one, for my Pokemon cards.

And I know that you're meant to fit little bits of cardboard in there, not chips. He gets two or three pages into that bad boy. There's not going to be enough room. It's not going to close. He'll have collected Weatherspoons mash at that point. He'll. That's no fun. That's not what you started out doing, was it?

What a find, Michael. That's incredible. That's brilliant. That could have been a story all in and of itself. I do highly recommend Googling just Weatherspoons chips at some point. There's someone who brought like a little scale. to Weatherspoons with them to measure the weight of the chip. Someone made a little stonehenge out of chips.

Oops, that's auto-filter Weatherspoons chipping them, which is a stonehenge out of chips. Oh, yeah, measuring tape. It's bonkers. There seems to be a whole culture around Weatherspoon's chips. And I mean, I'm here for it. I respect it. They are good chips. In that article where she posted it on Facebook and said, chip count 15, that is apparently

a thing that a lot of people, well, there's a little community of people who post their Weatherspoons play on social media and then they put a chip count and it's like a thing that you do. So, yeah. Oh my God. Did you say this is a small sect of people who do this? I think so, yeah. Looking at a Facebook group called WeatherSpoons Paltry Chip count and it has a quarter of a million

members. Wow. That's some serious counting. Oh, yeah. I feel like Weatherspoon chips are the next cultural phenomenon by the looks of things. They've got a lot more than for them. Kids love them. We'll take a pack of Weatherspoons chips, please. Yeah. Nice. Fantastic. Fantastic. Well, is it time for my thing? It is. Yes. Please give us your thing. I will. Here comes my thing. Today, oh, I've just opened the window. It's very bright. And now my face is, it looks like a ghost.

During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures. And see for your yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, Lisa 2026 XE90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99% during the Volvo fall experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. I would like to tell you all about the very first convention for nerds and weirdos. So it's sort of apropos that we were talking about Comic-Con at the start of the podcast because we're going to talk about this now.

First, I saw a little post about the first World Science Fiction Convention, which was held in 1939 in New York. And that was really interesting because there was a, it was called WorldCon, there was a guest of honor there. And there was a section title Controversy where it turns out that a number of of politicised Futurians as they were called were not invited

and this is and I'm saying this verbatim now this is an event known to fanish historians that's historians about fan conventions as the Great Exclusion Act which is obviously

extremely serious but there is this fantastic photo of Ackerman not Nathan Ackerman Fine Art Studio And Myrtle R. Douglas, who went by a pseudonym Merojo, which is sort of like a Discord username of the time, in wearing their futurist, hang on, it's futurist costumes, all one word. So here you have, potentially, an example of some of the first cosplay or dress-up for a nerd convention. Wow.

In 1939, those two are wearing homemade future costumes, which is quite exciting. The height difference is astonishing. Yes, she is tiny, or he's massive. It'd be a good chip, I think, potentially. But in trying to find sort of a more interesting write-up that wasn't so dry and so spotty as is the nature of Wikipedia articles, I found perhaps an example of an even earlier convention,

but it's a bit dubious. So we're going to talk about that today. This is from Mental Floss. This is an article from 2021 by Alex Palmer. the strange story of the Vrill-Yar Bazaar and Fate the world's first sci-fi convention. Wow. It started a really strong name, so yeah, good good going. The Vrill-Yar Bazaar and Fate.

The interior of London's famed Royal Albert Hall has been transformed into another world. Exotic imagery adorned the walls and winged creatures hung from the ceiling. Even the attendees themselves got in on the fun, ditching their regular clothes for peculiar costumes. In addition to the elaborate displays, there was much for them to do and admire. There were booths laden with merchandise sold by women in colourful gowns and eccentric ensemble, women! As well as quirky activities inspired by one of the era's most popular science fiction tales.

It might sound like a modern sci-fi convention, but this curious gathering actually took place more than 130 years ago. Oh, damn. The Vrillaar Bazaar and Fate, a charity fundraiser and fair, was a precursor to elaborate fan events like Comic-Con and WonderCon. It has been dubbed by the BBC and others as the world's first sci-fi convention. But unlike those contemporary cons, which can provide great ideas for sci-fi gifts for friends, it links to an article. This event was dedicated to one eccentric work of imagination.

Edward Bulwer Littons, perhaps, hit novel, Vrill, colon, the Power of the Coming Race. Published in 171. Oh, yeah. Hang on, everybody calm down. It probably wasn't sexy. It might be a bit sexy. The Power of Soggy Biscuit. Published in 1871, Vrill told the story of the discovery of a superhuman race with advanced powers of healing, intellect, telepathy, and even flight that lived below the earth's surface.

The book quickly became part of the cultural lexicon in Victorian England. In fact, the word Vrill coined in the novel for a special fluid that enhances the powers of the superhuman Vrilliar people became synonymous with energy-boosting elixers of all variety. Now, off the top of your head, can you think of anything that has Vrill as a suffix?

I don't think so. It's consumable. Bobrill! You are 100% correct. We will come back to Bovril later in this. That's the only example I can think of. Well done. Bovril was affected by this

sci-fi novel from 1871. Wow. But yeah, we'll come back to that in a second. The book struck Dr Herbert Tibbitts, founder of London's West End Hospital and School of Massage and Electricity It does everything Say that again London's West End Hospital and School of Massage and Electricity Wow

It's musical theatre as well, it's on the West End It's a hospital It's very Victorian science Which offered experimental treatments for paralysis, epilepsy and other nervous diseases as a fitting theme for a fundraising fate. It wasn't Tibbitt's first foray into fundraising. He had organized several successful bazaars throughout the 1880s, and people were eager to see what elaborate theme he'd conjure up next.

Newspapers announced the bazaar in February, in a ceremony on March... Oh, and then there's a semicolon. In a ceremony on March the 5th, 1891, Princess Henry and Princess Beatrice of Batonberg officially opened the bazaar, accepting donations on behalf of the... the West End Hospital. Representatives of various organisations approached the royal couple one at a time,

dropping purses filled with donations before them. Members of the public paid between five shillings and a pound and a shilling for entrance to the bazaar, where in the main hall they were greeted by a dazzling display. The architecture of the underground world in the novel was evocative of ancient Egypt, so a large canvas displaying ancient Egyptian imagery covered a wall, an aerial display of mannequins meant to evoke the Vrillaire people, swung above attendees heads, and a giant column of the Vrillya commanded the centre of the arena. People dressed up to get in the Vrill spirit. Some wore wings, others chose ancient Greek or Egyptian garb, and a packed programme of performers kept audiences entertained. There were magic shows, dramatic readings, a concert

by the ladies guitar, ladies, guitar band, organ, organ recitals and more. Stools around the hall's perimeter offered activities like indoor fishing, palmistry, a demon dog said to read mines, which it doesn't give any more context about, and plenty of peculiar shopping options. And here we go, everyone. Attendees were encouraged to sip small glass bottles of Bovril, a savory drink made from beef extract that had been rebranded following the success of Bulwer Lytton's book,

named as a portmanteau of bovine and Vrille. The back of the event program claimed that, unlike the elixir mentioned in the book, Bovril will not achieve impossibilities, but it will exert a marvellous influence on the system. So Bovril just means cow elixir. Yes, basically, and it was named after the sort of cultural excitement around this book in which Vrille meant some sort of superhuman serum that people took. That is a really good piece of party trivia, if you're with the right audience. My dad will love that.

Really? I'll send you a link to the article, Peter. No, no, I don't want to show in the article. I'm just going to drop it next time we're sitting down, not enjoying Bovril, because we don't bring it. Did you know that, well, just in case you went back story on what the book is. You've got the articleing. Yeah, great, thank you. Then this section's called a fantastical flop. I can only assume they're not talking about Bovril, of course.

Oh, the coming race. Bovril may have been a hit, but the Bazaar itself was not. While the peculiar offerings received heavy press coverage and public interest, word of mouth was not great. I saw nothing very attractive or remarkable, wrote a correspondent for the Preston Herald after the event's first day. The writer, expecting an elegant fate, found the decor and costumes off-putting. Another critic went further, writing in truth, which I think truth is a magazine or something, A more humiliating display of witless and puerile fantasticalities was never designed. Scaving.

That's a review that could still stand for modern conventions. Yeah, fantasticalities is a brilliant word. I bet there was no demon dog giving fortunes at Comic-Con, was there? Yeah. Rubbish. It's gone downhill. Not even any bovril. Absolutely disgusting.

Bavril at Comic-Con, one out of ten. though scheduled for three days the event was extended by two days but not due to overwhelming demand the bonus days were in attempt to recoup some of the losses suffered due to such an over-the-top production just three months after the show wrapped Tibbitts declared bankruptcy

tracing his misfortunes to the bazaar which resulted not in a flund of fuds for Tibbitt's hospital but a loss of £1,600. The bankruptcy proceedings revealed Sorry, I think you just said a flund of fuds there Did I? You may have done, yeah. A flood of funds.

A flood of funds. The bankruptcy proceedings revealed that the purses deposited before Prince Henry and Princess Beatrice at the beginning of the event were merely props with few actually containing money. Oh, wow. So it goes on then to say how some current day journalists and historians have looked back and traced it to current day fan conventions. And some say it is and some say, well, it was more of a fate. sort of something that the first events

that we would consider sci-fi conventions like that one in 1939 would look at and say well let's not do that for example putting on such an elaborate display that they ended up bankrupting themselves

E3 so there was a lot learned potentially but there we are the most interesting thing out of that is that Bovroll's named after a superhero elixir and long may that continue yeah

Yeah. Wow. That was fantastic. Thank you, Ben. You're very welcome. Mikey, it's your turn now. I would love to present my viewer-submitted thing. This one comes at you from Michael Kingston at Tired Welsh Gamer on Twitter. And the headline reads, Woman who married a ghost. Woman?

What? Woman who married a ghost ditches husband after less. than a year. So, yes, this is a woman who entered holy matrimony with a ghost and then just dumped them, which is, I just, how dare you? How dare you?

The story continues, a singer who claimed to have married the ghost of a Victorian soldier says she's getting divorced. Brookhard, I think, 40 of Oxfordshire, said she met the spirit of Eduardo one stormy night in 2021,

when he burst into her room and immediately professed his love for her. They supposedly then became inseparable with the ghost even sending her cryptic messages in the shower. Oh, what does that mean? That's a bit forward, coming in saying, I love you, and then sending messages in the shower. Yeah, that's not nice. Bit fast. Just the squeaking of the glass around the shower and a heart emerges out of the steam. I love you.

But it didn't take long before cracks began to appear in their otherworldly relationship. Bracard previously claimed herself and Eduardo had argued over their wedding date. Oh no. Oh, no. It's just trouble in paradise, guys. She said, I want a summer wedding, but he hates the heat. And I'd secretly love to make him melt. but he disappears often enough as it is.

Sorry, I'm having quite a hard time grappling with this. So disappear in the... Is he saying he's disappearing because he's not real? He's a ghost. Yes, right, right. And she wants him to melt in the heat, but he's a ghost. Would a ghost melt in the heat? I don't know.

No. Maybe, maybe it's like a snowman ghost. You never know, but... This is all definitely just made up. And this is just a woman pretending that she's arguing, but... Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, the Metro is a very, very reliable news stores. Oh, sorry, the Metro. Oh, it's from the Metro. Oh, sorry.

Forgive me. Continue. How could you? She said, yeah, she wants him to melt. For weeks, for weeks, for weeks, we got nowhere with it. So I'm going to design a Ouija board of wedding dates to see which we are both drawn to. Wait, how was she arguing over wedding date so then have to use a Ouija board to, anyway, sorry, let's not get bogged down in it. Yeah, it's all just ghost stuff, it's okay, it's ghost stuff. Things like facts and continuity and, you know, logic, it's not worry about any of that.

And then in the middle of the article, it links to an Instagram video, which is her doing her vows with Eduardo. But obviously, she's just talking to herself because there's no one. there. Oh my God, she did go all out on it. I apologize for how small this picture is going to be. But yeah, you go all did good. She's got a nice little church going, set lots of candles. She's just for the occasion. I just sent that to you, Peter. I'm going to try that again. Not in the official video. It's Discord in our little one. There we go. Yeah, so this is a woman talking to a ghost. Yeah. Oh, wow. And she paid someone to officiate and they said yes. Yeah

Soliton Yeah I'm just looking at Instagram She has 200,000 followers So Oh so she's a scam artist I see Is she hawking any products

It doesn't look like it She just Yeah No she's just She takes Wow her thing is She takes the photo The photo

In the exact same pause Pretty much every time That's kind of cute So I'm going to link it Sadly there's not a lot Of Eduardo content on here Like there's no pictures of him Or anything

There's no pictures Of Eduardo that goes I can't believe it Have they done that? No wonder the marriage fell apart. It's because it disappears all the time. Otherwise, she'd have loads of photos, but he's a bit camera shy. Yeah, yeah.

She said after the wedding, I swear he's turned into a complete groomzilla and his list of demands grows daily. Eduardo's always had a temperamental nature, but the nuptials seemed to be bringing out the worst in him. The singer also claimed the spirit often took issues with her discussing their relationship publicly, though this didn't keep her from a period

on this morning and posting the wedding ceremony on Instagram. Right, okay, yeah. Did you know that there's a music video on her website with her in it? Yeah. She's a musical artist. It's called, I think her act is called Brocard, and this is haunted the official music video. This is, yeah, so she does that. Oh, right, okay.

She's got a shop. She's got, there's a collections tab. and the collection is haunted. There's a phone case. Oh, nice. That says, what is it? It's got some writing. Store.com.

Get yourself a little treat. Got the music videos. Really weird. So Alive but Dead Inside is what the phone case says. And that's 35 pounds. For a phone case. Right. Buy a ghost dress for 500 pounds.

Haunted backpack for 50 pounds. Can I get mine exercise, please? I don't want a haunted backpack. Well, she's got a pin. Oh, no, she's, yeah, she's got a pin that says, give me the digits of a sick, sick exorcist, it says. Right. I mean, she's having fun.

She's having fun. She's having great time. Da-da-da-da-da. Yes, Eduardo didn't like her talking about their relationship. After the marriage was officiated, Ricard also complained they'd fallen out over Eduardo, too drunk during their honeymoon in Wales. Oh, no.

Eduardo, we're going to have a nice time in Wales and look at you, you're drunk again. Oh, dear. His apparent fascination with Marilyn Monroe appears to prove in a further obstacle to marital bliss after Ricard claims to have spotted the spirit of the late Hollywood actress at the chapel. It's quite a star-studded event. You got no idea who else is there standing there. Oh, God. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. She told Will's online, he would routinely disappear and then emerge days later, smelling of Chanel number five. Oh, really. What is that picture, Ben? Where's that? What's that?

That's from her Instagram. That's where I think she's being ex-ist. This is a video. Oh. Oh, the video's very good. How do I share this? Can I share this? How do I do that?

Copy list. Okay, yeah, hang on. I'll send it to you. It's extremely good. Describe it if you can. I've got it muted. Oh, it's part of a music video, I think. It's a clip from her music video. Allow cookies.

Oh, a pram rolls past very quickly. Oh, back and forth. It's just reversed. It's just a pram ping ponging. Yeah. And then she's doing something in with a ring. Wait, wait. Oh, then it shows the wedding.

She made a music video out of the wedding for her own song. God. Oh, my God. A lot of the photos on there recently, I think, are stills from her. Yeah, from her thing. Just. From her wedding. Absolutely glorious Instagram comment here.

Is it me or is this odd? No, it's odd. It's pretty odd. Yeah, it's quite strange this. I want to know what Eduardo looked like. Like, was he a handsome fellow? I mean, he's kind of got to be, surely. I mean, he managed to spend the night, at least one night, with Marilyn Monroe, the ghost of Marilyn Monroe.

So, you know, he's got to be at least a bit attractive, surely. It would be a looker. Well, yeah, sadly, the relationship is now over. Maybe they'll repair things. I'll stay tuned. I'll see what happens. I'm sure there'll be yet another twist and turn in this story. This story, this recollection of factual events.

I found a bad photo. Right. Let me know what you think of this one Oh That's really bad What is that cat at the bottom? Oh man So she's photoshopped her head onto a doll

And it's in like a miniature scene And there's a toy cat on the floor And maybe it's Christmas Yeah it looks like Christmas There's a Santa hat on the chair Oh yeah Yeah It's weird

Really weird Very weird Like someone's activated a PS1 cheek and on full bobblehead mode on it. Yeah. Yeah. Turkey looks banging though. I can't stop scrolling through her Instagram.

It's very good, actually. Yeah, it's kind of, I kind of can't look away, even though all the photos are identical. You know what? You know what, Bracard, you've got a new fan. I'll be a follower. I want to see where you go to next. Yeah, show me, show me all aspects of your very strange life.

I hope you're enjoying it because it looks like you are. I mean, how can you not be? She was on this morning. She was on this morning, yeah. That's it. That's the goal. She's way more mainstream than we'll ever be, and I applaud that. Yeah.

We all just need to find hot, ghosty husbands, and then don't worry, we'll get there as well. That's all it takes. Literally all it takes is to... That's all you need to do. Go on the internet and say something ridiculous, like, I fucked a ghost. And then you get to go and sit on a sofa with... Well, that's how Adam Pachiti got on the television so many times. Yes, yes, yes.

I've drawn my dream woman. Here she is. On lined paper. Yeah. Oh, dear. It's very good. Very good. Well, thank you, Mikey.

Thank you, Mikey. Thank you. It's time for my thing now. And I don't know if you guys know, but over in the States, in the past week or so, there have been hearings in front of Congress. I don't know if hearings the right word. but, you know, talks about alien disclosure.

Oh, yes. A whistleblower, talking about aliens and stuff. And it got me thinking about aliens. I just do an alien thing. But I thought, hey, I'm not just going to do another story about, you know, a supernatural encounter or anything like that. Then I thought, I'll tell you what I'll do.

Let's do a, is it real or is it not real? And I was going to do the races of Star Wars. But I thought... Star Wars. Yeah. I mean, try and make up some races of Star Wars and outdo Niels Nisarica. It's not possible. It's very hard, yeah.

It is very hard. But, so I've gone one step removed. We're very far removed at this point now. Now you've followed me down this road. We're not really talking about Congress aliens anymore. It's just character names from Star Wars and the Star Wars Expanded Universe. It's not species. It's characters.

Okay, okay. I simply want you to guess which of these are real, which of these are fake, if any. Okay, okay. There are 15 of them I can read all 15 to you if you like And then we can go through them Classic rules I have

I like I have so little knowledge of Star Wars Outside of Jar Jar Binks All the names sound made up So this is going to be tough Okay Some of them I'll spell for you as well Peter's a huge fan So I don't know if he's going to throw us any curve

Any softballs you know I think they're going to be hard I may well have done So here we go Biggs dark lighter deck laser which is spelled UR-R-O-R-R-U-R-R-R-A-R-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-P-R

I'm a gun-dai Zvite-Conker-Kil L-O-A-A-A-T-E-L-A-L-A-L-A-S-Lis-Bagano few more petrol Petrol Jack Porkin Yeah that's spelled

Few More P-E-T-R-E-L Few more Petrel Jack Porkins Jack Jack Jack J-E-K

Jack his first name is Jack Jack General Worm Loathsome Then this one Peo-Doc

Drabba, Takat, Sap, directi, Nick, linkate, Kivv, Nick, Nesevef Leck. Also known as Pau. For sure.

My friends call me Pau. Salacious B. Crum. Savage Abhor. So that's just spelled Savage Abhor, like to hate something. Sminks,

which is S-M-E-E-N-K-S. Sphinx, firm scissor punch, and that's it, that's it. Thirm scissor punch. Wow. So you've heard them all. Some might be real, some might be fake, I used to say. So we're going to go through. Biggs Darklighter, real or fake?

Oh my God, I just haven't. Fake. Bigs Darklighter. I'm going to say real. I'm going to, this is the one where we feel it out. So I'm going to say real. Mikey, you're right. What?

And this is a relatively mainstream character. This is from a New Hope. It's a guy who flies in X-Wings with Luke. He's got a big black mustache. He's actually, he was meant to have more of a role in the film, but some of his scenes were cut. But he was like Luke's friend on Tatouin. And then he joined the rebellion.

I didn't realize that was his last name. Yeah. Oh. Damn it. Number two. Deck Laser. Real of fake. That can't be real.

That's not real. deck laser no I'm saying not real either this is not real but it is from it's funny you mention it today Ben by chance

today on Zantiar that's one of the characters yeah deck laser um aurorororor U R U R apostrophe R that's real yeah I'm saying real as well

that is apparently a real name of one of the Tuxken Rikers the Tuscan Raiders from A New Hope Not only is a real character, it's from one of the films. Because some of these are expanded universe, but that's an actual person in a film. Is it pronounced just like, oh, no, it's just, it's called.

It's not even a wookie. It sounds like it might be like Chewbacca's brother or something, but it's not. Zvite Conquer Kill. That's not real. Yeah, I think that's a bit too on the nose. I'm going to say the fake as well. That's apparently real. I didn't know this one.

So those first four I got from another article, or apart from the made-up one, the rest of the real ones, implying that there are some real ones, are from an article on starwars.com, which give us a little blurb as to who each person is. So appearing only once, the esteemed Senator Conquer Kill

enjoyed the privilege of attending an operatic performance of Squid Lake alongside then-Supreme Chancellor Palpatine at the Galaxy's Opera House this is the scene from Revenge of the Sith where we learn about

Darth Plagus the Wise and she's just sitting next to them apparently and they've all got names all these people Oh wow Yeah L-O-A-S-D

E-L-L-O space A-S-T-Y Real Yeah, I'm going to say real as well I could picture that being said in the film at some point

This is a real person from the Force Awakens, apparently. Okay. Known for inserting call-outs to the Beastie Boys into his films, the film's Creature Department suggested the... Oh, this is JJ Abrams, does that. The Creature Department suggested the moniker to director J.J. Abrams, referencing the band's fifth studio album, Hello Nasty. So it's L.O. Asty.

Brilliant. Oh, that's kind of fun. In fact, Ello's flight helmet, because he's a pilot, apparently, has been inscribed with the words Born to Ill further cementing the Beasties connection as a shout out to their debut album

Licensed to Ill Very good Number seven is Elon Slees Bagano Real? No, I mean again Sleesbag feels too on the nose But again, a lot of these

have so far been quite on the nose Like what, Conker Kill So I'm going to say real. I'm going to say not real. This is real. Oh, my God. From Attack of the Clones, this is the man who tries to sell death sticks to Obi-1 Cano. Oh, okay. That's this guy.

His surname is Slees Bagano. Fantastic. Is he in the price of death sticks? Yeah. Number eight, few more petrel. That's good. Oh, my God. This one is real.

Yeah, I'm going to say it real as well, mainly because I want to know what job it is they have. It's made up. I just made it up. I was trying to think of like a pod racer-sounding character, but... Yeah, walked a treat, yep. Number nine, Jack Porkins. That's real, right? There was actually one called Porkens, right?

But was that his first name? Yes. Oh, well, yeah. Yeah, I think it's real. There was a character called Porkins, apparently, his first name. First name is Jack. He dies in a new hope. He gets shot down.

There's apparently a famous line, Cover Meep Orkins. Yeah. Number 10, General Worm Loathsome. Real. Not real. Unlike Loathor Somover, the Kerkoyden General, who captured Christophis for the separatist cause, makes our list, not by virtue of his hideous name, reflecting an equally ghastly physical appearance,

but rather his unconscionable behavior. Yeah, this is a guy from the animated Clone Wars movie. Worm loathsome. Oh, man. Is there, is, I, not for now, but is there just a list of every Star Wars character ever somewhere in one long list? Because I read. So long.

Every Star Wars character ranked from worst to best. That's your next list, right? Go on. In Tide 500th place, here's 7,000. names of background characters. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah.

Man, I guess if you include like the books and stuff, oh, I really want to see this now. That would be insane. Number 11. Pow, Doc, Draba, Takat, Sap, Directi, Nick, Link, A, Tivvv, Knivsev, Lik Keck,

also known as POW. That's not real. I think that's a misdirect. Yeah. it feels like it could be real but I don't know I'm going to say it is real I'm going to have faith

because you've read that consistently quite a few times now so I like to think it's real come on come on what is it what is it it's real

oh balls and it's from Rogue 1 could you paste the name in chat or something so you can have a read of it because it's quite the stonker it's full of apostrophies

there it is disgusting look at the state of that yeah it's like what's that place in wales the yeah it's just glan the go go go go I'm not doing it this is like a little sort of blue guy who uh an atat

or an 80 80 like comes out from the trees on the Battle of Scariff near the end of the film and he shouts atat and they run and that's him that's his that's his power line he actually swears He swears in Star Wars language

He says carabast Which is a Star Wars sort of Expletive He goes carabast Atat And then they run That's him That's pow

Oh pal What do you like Number 12 is Salacious B crum B is just the letter B for like a middle initial I could I can abide by salacious

I can abide by B by cannot believe there'd be anyone with the last name Crum in Star Wars, so that's a no from me. This is a real one. Do you know this to be a real one, Ben? I do. It is. It's

Jabba the Hutt's little pet from Return of the Jedi. Capuchin Hackerfucker. Yeah, he's a Capuchin Hackerfucker. I mean, his actual that's the Neil Cisoriga species name, but the real species name is no better. He's a Kowakian monkey lizard.

A fuck off. George Just stop. Stop. Please. Sure. Jab of the Hutz pet, Kowakian monkey lizard has both distinctive and impressive first and last names. But what makes this shrieking little fiend's handle stand out is he's one of two Star Wars characters to say yub-yub, wicket Warrick. What?

Hang on. What? He's one of two Star Wars characters to boast a middle initial. Right. Okay. The other one being Wicked Warrick, which is the EWalk that Warwick Davis played. Yeah, the e-book. The e-book.

Sure, there have been examples of middle names throughout the canon, but only Jabba's jester displays his middle initial so prominently and proudly, apparently. Number 13, savage or savage abhor? Savage abhor. I'm going to say, rea-fick. I'm going fake as well. This is fake, but only slightly. all I've done there

is actually make an even stupider name sound more realistic but it was made up the real character in the Clone Wars Darth Moll's brother is called Savage Oppress Oh, stop it Just the words savage and oppress

next to each other But if you say savage and oppress Then it sounds a bit like it could be someone's name So George I mean George, stop When you've got to name this many characters

They can't all be winners So we'll let him off We've got two left We've got Smeinks S M-M-E-E-E-N-K-S Sme-S Sme-S-M-E-E-N-K-S-E-S-M-E I think real

That's not real Completely made up Oh, I wanted to see what the Smeeks was I don't know what I was doing with that Just wrote the word Smeans Smeans And number 15, Thirm Scissor Punch. Strong name.

Very strong name. Every fibre of my being is telling me it's fake, but I'm going to say real. It's fake. It's real. I didn't know this one. It's from Solo a Star Wars story. Let's quote directly from the official guide to Solo a Star Wars story, shall we? Let's.

Thirm insists you call him Thurm Sizzer Punch, though it's unknown if this is a nickname he's earned or one he's desperately trying to create for himself. It continues, but then from a different article, I found a far more interesting bit of trivia that Star Wars.com failed to mention. This character is the reason this list exists. This was someone else did a weird list of Star Wars names. A recent commercial for a Denny's promotion for Solo revealed a character who was a giant alien lobster named Thurm Scissor Punch.

Thirm, as in short for Thermidor, as in lobster thermidor. And yeah, they really did this. And his hands are massive claws. That's the scissor bit. And if he punched you, he'd be punching with scissors. You know what? Yeah. You get it.

That makes a lot of sense. And that's it. Now that you spell it out. I brought along one more entry from the Star Wars.com list that wasn't a single entry, so I couldn't really do it as a part of the list. But they do a whole group entry for the musicians. what exactly is it about rock and roll we're taking editorial license

to capture multiple characters in a single entry because it seems that any musician to grace a galactic stage whether they be Doda Baudenawidu or infra blue Zebedee Cogins Cogins! Zabody Cogins

That's great. I like Coggins. Has been blessed with a killer name from the first tune performed in the Moss Isley canteener by Biff bandleader Figrin Dan and his modal nodes, to the most recent, sung by Chantus of the stars, Aurora Ventafoli and her partner

Lulio Primock aboard the first light. The music makers of Star Wars have enjoyed a flashy, vivid handle like Scy Snootles, suds water, Dilly Faye Glon, Max Rebo, and of course that corpulent

Kittonak himself, the majestic Droopy McCool. No, McCool. All of those are real Star Wars musician names. Sice Nootles might be the best Star Wars name of them all, I think. Very good. I Google, I feel very sick. He looks like a giant, like, dust mite or something, but with a clarinet in his hand.

Oh, God. Some trivia about Droopy McCool that I happen to know. Please. He smells of vanilla. Oh, that's lovely. Is it? I don't know. He is just a giant dust mite, though.

But I'd rather a dust mite that smelled a vanilla That's quite pleasant But I guess he didn't say vinegar And that would have been way worse Yeah He smells a vanilla apparently Yeah Oh dear

Wow you do you know that off the cuff That's in the recesses your mind Does your dad enjoy that kind of trivia Yeah Just file that alongside the origin of Bovril Yes Bring that out of a party Oh this Christmas is going to be lit

off the chain well thank you so much for that thing Peter you're welcome and thank you everybody for submitting your listener things as well we will be on the lookout for more soon so keep an eye on Twitter where we will be asking for them

Mikey I believe there's some sort of shop your gosh darn right if you head over to videts official dot com and you click on the lovely enticing little button labeled shop will be greeted with a bounty of goodies ranging from the stickers, the mug, the cap, the t-shirts and the hoodie, and that's it, that's it.

But what a lovely collection of things they are. They've all got fun little designs on them. Go go check him out. Have a little looks if one takes your fancy. Go out, go look, get yourself a cap for your bonnet and a hoodie for your body. I don't know what accent is. What's happening? You okay?

Yeah, it will be okay if you go to. ofidatesofficial.com and buy a lovely thing. Thank you. Absolutely. We've also got a YouTube, a Twitter, a Facebook, they're all.com, forward slash Vidiates official. The Discord is Vidiatesofficial.com

forward slash discord, sorry. Big thank you to Tommy and Fleckers for modding us over there. Go hang out with like-minded poddietz listeners and vidiates viewers and chat the flip with them. We've also got a Twitch channel, which we've not used for a little while. Twitch.tv.TV.4. Viddy. It's official. We'll let you know whenever we're going to go live on there. Poddience.com. Donate three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show and join Pod Squad. You'll be supporting us in the process and we will really, really appreciate it.

Mikey, can you kick us off again, please? Get your hands off, my Johnson. I realize now it's the circling Chinese meal guy, isn't it? I should have done it in his voice. Get your hands off my Johnson and get your hands off my potter. There you go, that's a bit better. Antita Bath, Donak 07, Ziggy Stardust and the Knob spiders from Mars, Stephen Scores, Lord Brotovic, and Freddie Weber, be, be, be, bab, be, bab, be. And one more. No, and one more.

Another fucking name, Michael. The one that almost got forgotten last time as well. Oh, no, it happened again. Otto Carno, thank you for being so generous. Ebebebebebe. And one more. Ebebebebebe. We've also got

Hap Ben housewarming George Bab Cluny Pottiot's FM coming in your ear Brian Blobbyfield Bobby Caballuni Mrs Gibbon who is very generous thank you Mike the Gioed Johnson lukewarm Pete Austin

Ben there's no one named Potter and Shield Field Liberation Army We've also got on a takeaway mission Bobby Cababaloonie. T.P.'s Delight at Mikey Puking. Donak O'7. Mr. Macker. Bobby Blobby. Press any key to continue. The Arst, formerly known as, Brince Peafcakes. Hettie Bobetty. That's Bartex Favv Pokemon. Ride on Dees Nuts. And that is your pod squad again for this week. Poddiots.com. Three pounds or more to get a shout at the beginning and the end of the show. Support the things you enjoy and that you love.

Thank you so much. you very, very much indeed. Peter, is there something that came out on videos five years ago this week? Ben makes a sex worker. Vanilla Minecraft episode 5. Yeah, that was funny because we got demonetized for that

after we didn't want to say, we didn't want to use Ho in the title because we thought that would get some trouble. But we said sex worker and that was way worse apparently. It's limited ads. But yeah, vanilla Minecraft episode 5. Smells like Droopy McCall. Yumme.

WWE 2K18 1-handed challenge featuring cultaholic Post some tank number 22 filling our nappies That's when someone sent nappies Becoming Wasteland Survivors Fallout New Vegas part one

Worst games ever Twini's game time Becoming Building Gods Vanilla Minecraft episode 6 The Thousand Yard Stair WCW backstage assault featuring cultaholic Worship False Idols

Vanilla Minecraft Episode 7 Becoming Wasteland Survivors Fallout New Vegas, Part 2. Pottie, it's episode 11, dog rap, featuring Culturolic. There's then an unlisted video called Happy Anniversary, which was clearly a message. Post some tat number 23, Fishing Burger Boys, Fallout on New Vegas in real life, live action finale. It's a classic video. Draw the fans. Redstone Disaster, Vanilla Minecraft, Episode 8.

Instant jiblets, Quake Champion. Hanging from the Gallo's Vanilla Minecraft Episode 9 Postum tat number 24 Fruitie Loopers G-Mad Car Building Challenge Did I say G-Mad? G-Mad, yeah I like G-Mad

Worst games ever Mary Kate and Ashley Winner's Circle PompeyCraft is here Vanilla Minecraft episode 10 And finally Overcooked 2 breaks up the vidiots Goodness me Lots of the last video on the channel

Yeah, it was Very sad. Three weeks worth of content there because it's been an extra week, hasn't it, since the last episode? It has. It has indeed. But we should be back within two weeks this time, we promise. Mikey, where are you on the internet? At Parrot Boy on...

Oh, let me say that, but actually say the words and not just make noises. At Parrot Boy on Twitter is the best place to keep up with whatever nonsense it is I'm doing. Actually, you know what? I'm going to change my line for once. Jesus Christ. Instagram as well. At Parrot Boy on Instagram. I'm using Instagram a bit more.

because for some reason the idea of putting permanent tweets out there is scary so let's just do stories they're nice they're nice so yeah go see what I'm up to there excellent and Peter where are we on the internet

we are at that Peter Austin and at confused underscore dude on Twitter I'm also on threads and Instagram at that Peter Austin and you can get us together at Team Triple Jump on YouTube and Twitch and also on Twitter and Facebook

but yeah you can check out our live streams and our videos or video game related on Team Triple Jump on YouTube and Twitch. Wonderful. Why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice? It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. It will take you no time at all. And it's free to do so. It's free to consume this content. You have to listen to some silly pod squad names and maybe listen to some adverts potentially, but it doesn't cost you any money. And if you're not in a position to support us financially, why not leave us a five-star review? Because that will help too. And tell your friends. Tell your friends as well.

Do we have a final question before we go away? Is that bear... That's a stupid question. I was going to say, is that bear a man in a suit, but the answer is yes. Yes, that's the correct answer. Just write yes in the comments. Or yes, it is, or I think it is.

I don't want to see anyone with any negatives. I want to know if anyone knows any more fun Star War character names. Star War? That's what it's called, right? The Star War. Sure. What's your funnest? Star War character name that wasn't in the list. Tell us.

What was the name of that character we bought you an action figure off for your birthday, Peter, this year? Hang on. All I can think of is every other pod racer. I can find it, if that would help. Yeah, what's his name? He sounds like Cartman when he speaks in the game. We just bought it based on cheapness and also that it was absurd. Hang on

I've got to log into my This is going to be worth it I promise I'll log into my eBay Here I go Hang on I've nearly got it He's going to get there first Yeah who's going to do it

Who's going to get in there It's not slice noodles No it's not It's not It's not subpoena the podcaster It's not Quadroneros Because that's the other one I've got him

Yeah? It's Teamtoe Pagallies. That's it. Teamtoe. Teamto Pagallies. You can buy him drinks in the PS1 game and he gets drunk. It's great. Brilliant.

Thank you so much for listening slash watching everybody. We will catch you next time. Goodbye. Bye-bye. Thank you.