Podiots - Podiots: Episode 128 - Strictly Come Horse Dancing

Episode Date: August 19, 2023

Peter's talking phantom phrases, Ben's bought some old stones and Mikey is getting philosophical. Join next episode's Pod Squad: http://podiots.com And check our website and store: http://vidiotsofficial.com -------------------   Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS!   Support Ben and Peter: https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump   YouTube: https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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And ask your family eye care professional, for SLOR Stellis Lenses at your child's next visit. Hey, boys. Hello. It's a big week in the stage world by the sounds of things. Not only am I the owner of a Brian Butterfield ticket. It sounds like you two are now too. Yes, we are.

Excellent news. He's coming north, northeast. Ryan Butterfield is going up the tune. It's very exciting. You said that you spotted this a couple of days ago, Peter. I did. And then I thought, I must share this with my dear friends. But I think it was really late at night.

He did a tweet saying there was still a few seats left in Whitley Bay. I was like, what? Whitley Bay. And I was like, this is very important news. But it was really late at night. And I was like, right, in the morning, I'll tell everyone about that. And then I don't know how I forgot. because I mean it's one of the greatest bits of news I've ever read on Twitter

but the next day it's completely slipped my mind and then it's like just gone from my head and then today fortunately they've been doing more of a push and he's been on Radio Newcastle with our colleague Tom Tom Campbell who works at the offices with me and Ben and yeah a bunch of us are now going to go and see him in Whitley Bay thank goodness that he's that he spoke to Tom about it otherwise Yeah. Tom had a word. As Poddiet's viewers and listeners are my witness, it's never too late in the day to message me about Brian Butterfield.

Well, yeah, I know. You can always do it. Come rain or shine. Yeah, yeah, I probably should have done. Yeah. Light up the butter beacon, you know, I'll come running. I don't care. But I hadn't heard about it until today, the time of recording, when Tom put his interview with Brian Butterfield into our work chat at which point I saw it and was like

well hang on a fucking minute I imagine I had the same reaction you did Peter Whitley Bay I thought he was only coming to Leeds and then he was going to Scotland I'm not going to fucking leads to see Brian Butterfield that's too on a Wednesday you know I'm not doing that but no he's going to be like 20 minutes up the road perfect

fucking perfect so I'm so excited. And now, I don't want to promise anything, Peter Austin. Yeah. But I spoke to Tom about it. Right. And Peter Sarah, sorry, Brian Butterfield. Yes, Brian Butterfield.

Brian Butterfield, the man, the brisness entrepreneur. Yeah. Said to Tom Campbell that if you're coming to the show, come and say hi. Right. Tom is going to the show. And I sent Tom a message. I'll read it to you now. because I want this documented and now I don't want to get our hopes up I don't want to get my hopes up and I feel like by saying this I'm getting my hopes up as well getting the listeners hopes up well I don't know that the listeners are going to get anything out of this but certainly we hopefully will I said Tom is there honestly a remote chance I could meet Brian for a photo I just don't want to get my hopes up and Tom said I genuinely think so Brian's words to me were if you're coming

coming to the show, come and say hi, so I plan to take him up on it. Right. Okay. I mean, I've seen people, I don't know if you have to get like a special premium ticket like we did a bit Dick and Don, but I've seen people posting photos on Twitter. Have you? With Brian. And you stand next to him and he gives you a certificate in business, like a little diploma. Oh my God. Have your photo with him. But I suspect that's some sort of premium ticket or something. I couldn't see that as a ticket option. So that's either sold out or I don't know if he remembers Tom from the BBC and then there are four of us stood behind Tom say oh can we also say hello too please it may not work but I'm just saying

there's a small chance that we could meet Brian very exciting and that that is very exciting so I'll slowly I mean this it's a good business to be in this sort of Vidiots Pollyets Triple Jump world where we're slowly ticking off all of our all of our slightly weird offbeat comedy heroes bit by bit. It's like because yeah we talk about these people in jest almost because they're completely out of date characters

and like not culture relevant and then suddenly they've like boomerang back around become relevant touring and again and now we're in their face. Yeah. Yeah. I just need to ask Brian to call the poddiet's listeners idiots and see what he says.

Morons. Morons, yeah. Oh no. No, no, no. Not doing that. He'll say in his best dick. No, no, no, no. Not doing that. It's an exciting time. It's an exciting time.

Very. Very, very, very exciting. And I remembered that next week. I think last Christmas I treated myself to a ticket to see Shrek the musical. And I looked on my phone calendar, completely forgot that I booked those tickets. And there it was in the calendar. I was like, oh, oh, okay. Nice. Surprise Shrek.

I do love a bit of the arts. Yes. Yeah, you're a wealthy patron of the arts. You're going to talk to us about Strike the Musical after you've seen it. Of course, of course. I have watched it already on YouTube, so it'll be nice to see it in the flesh

and see a little man run around on his knees pretending to be Lord Farquod. Yeah. I'll see if I can blag... A spicy knob will be in it. See if I can blag a picture with any of the cast at the end. I'll say it's my birthday. Yeah, you should.

Tell them you know Tom Campbell. Yes. The doors that opens. Well, gentlemen, shall we begin the podcast? I think we should. I think we should. Hello everybody and welcome to POD. It's the official.

Idiots podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us where everybody brings a thing a long to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. All right, boy.

Hello. How are you feeling, Peter? I don't feel very good. In fact, having pressed record and just sat down in this slowly warming room, I'm starting to feel worse. But I'll be fine, I'm sure. Oh, no. Yeah, just a bit off today.

I don't know why. Very, very sweaty and feverish last night. but better today. Not the vid as yet. No, not the vid. Confirmed, well, certainly not today it is. And I've got symptoms. So I think that having symptoms and then testing,

if it was the vid, it would have said it was. But, I mean, I've known people who have been ill for like three days and testing negative and then on day four, suddenly they're positive. But we'll see. But yeah, at the moment, not the vid. I'm not a COVID-IAT today. Another time.

How are you doing, Mikey? Yeah, how are you doing, Mikey? I'm doing good. I'm not ill. I am in full health, I think. Unless there's something rotting inside of me, but so far, so good. It's sunny outside. I've had a cycle.

It's all lovely in Bristol town. It's not sunny here. No, it's not. Is it not? It's sorted out. It's kind of humid, though. Yeah. We were, because Peter was poorly today,

we had to sub him out in a video, and we shot that today. the woods and it was fucking boiling in those woods it was so humid really sweaty and when you're dressed up and you're running around like an idiot you know doing a proper grown-up job yeah um yeah it's unpleasant yeah an unpleasant situation but yeah horrible up here i was gonna ask how you are then but uh you know clammy i guess or have been kind of clammy did that shoot then got on my bike bike i replaced my bike I'm cycling again now.

Yeah, no word from the police since last week. Why would there be? You know, why would they send me an update? It's not like, it's not like they've got more important things to do than hunt down my bike, you know? So, yeah, and then I cycle back, did a live stream and now I'm still sat here. And I tell you what, I've never wanted to shower more, but needs must. The comedy, it awaits us in the funny minds. it does

you've had a long day down the funny mines but yeah there's more mining to come then there's still more funny to be had I think what we're saying Mikey is it's all on you today yeah you're going to carry this man we can't be expected to perform I don't think

yeah we're just going to be along for the ride going uh huh no yeah what outrageous but I tell you what there is one bit where we can all be involved and that's by going to pottyets dot com and if you donate three pounds or more you become a podcast producer.

You support this show and you get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast, just like, We do not want your cummints. Lovely. That's a hard one to say back to back. Come, mints.

I'm going to stop saying come mints. We do not want your comments. We do not want you. Oh, oh, I get it. Wow. Wow, I'm on the ball today. Come on, let's go. Start as we mean to go on.

Come on, Michael. We continue with the gym. Generous, Gens Hermann, who said, Some time ago you were confused because people thought Peter was your boss at what culture? I know the reason. In the video, 10 optional super bosses narrated by Jules. He explained the difference between a regular boss, Peter, and a super boss, Joe Hendry. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I mean, Jules did used to sort of jokingly as a front-facing thing, say, that I was his boss, but only because I'd been with the gaming channel for like a year and a half before he was there. So I guess he used to sort of say boss. And then Joe Hendry was an actual CEO and boss of culture and would

body slam anyone who disobeyed. He's a lovely man, he would never. He would never. Thank you. Thank you very much, Jens. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, very generous. Thank you. Mum, my cocks stuck in the bidet. Jimmy Grimble football film.

Grimble. What a niche reference. I know what that is. That is really weird. Okay, sorry. What's a Jimmy Grimble? You're going to have to tell us what Jimmy Grimble is now. Jimmy Grimble is a like northern, northwest, set in Manchester. It's this film about a up and coming, it's a coming of age film about a boy who goes to school in like Oldham and it was filmed at the high school that I would have gone into if we'd stayed living there.

but it's got someone famous in it flipping what's his name he was in the full Monty oh Robert Carlisle yeah yeah Robert Carlisle was in it yeah and yeah he just sort of goes from like school football to winning the sort of regional school cup or maybe national school cup I think he plays at at the end he plays at Old Trafford like that's where the final matches

between the best schools in the country Jimmy Grimble Jimmy Grimble is his name, and it was filmed at essentially my high school. It was all part of the same group. I've never heard of a more northwestern English name in my entire life. Hey, oh, Jimmy Grimble. Sounds a bit like, see he's got a dicky tummy. Well, I've got a case of the Jimmy Grimbles at the book.

Yeah, they've got the Jimmy Grimples. This next one, I like a lot. It's very good. Oh, yeah. I'm trying to figure out how I pronounce it. I'm going to go with my gut. Tony Hawke's Prostator Prostator if you will

Prostator Prostator I like it Very good Donak 07 Fred Eweber Steven Scores

Lord Brottovich Hashtag free Hank From Bear Prison He did nothing We've also got Caroline took Ben's bike Oh for fuck sake Caroline

Pollyett's anniversary? No, it can't be because we do the what happened this week in Poddietz, in Vidiots, and that was ages ago, episode one. Oh, no, no, no. I think it's a connected donation. Oh, sorry, jumped the gun there. So we had Caroline took Ben's bike, then, happy anniversary, Dave Matthews Band Incident. Yes.

Are you aware of this? No. This was, oh, it would make such a good thing. This was, obviously, on this day or this week or this month, several years ago. ago, the Dave Matthews, Matthews van pulled up on the side of a bridge and emptied their poo tank. Oh yeah, we did the thing on that, didn't we? We did. Yeah, I'm sure we did.

That's it then. Right. Yeah, on to, basically onto, what was it, a boat passing underneath? Yeah. And loads of people got covered in poo. That's the incident. Oh, no. There we go.

We've also got cat, Catter Karen, or Cat, Karen, who was very generous and said, My sister Anna is having surgery next week on the 16th. And after, she'll be on bed rest for six weeks. So she will surely be binging poddits. Could you please send her some wishes for a speedy recovery? Thanks, guys. Well, thank you, Anna. Or sorry, best wishes to Anna and thank you to Karen.

Yes, thank you, Karen. Good luck, Anna. I'm sure you will be fighting fit in no time. Play lots of video games. We'd best not be too funny because Anna probably shouldn't be laughing too much if you're recovering from surgery. That's true. She could be getting,

it could be a funny bone-related surgery. Having some ribs put back in that were split. Exactly. Her gut, we don't want to bust the gut. Bust a gut, no. I don't want to do that. We've got Wayne Woparuni. Ima Gundai was a real name too.

Did I not say that? That was one of the Jedi, the fake Star Wars names, but that one was real. I may have accidentally said it was false, but he was a Jedi who was made for an episode. he's like you know like a red shirt in Star Trek where they add these little extras on the ship

who are designed literally just to die you know in the episode they needed a Jedi to die at the start of an episode so they made a Jedi called I'm a gone die and then he died someone needs to stop George I know he stole it that was George though at the time that was George yeah I bet it was that's peak George isn't it

and there's only so many names you can come up with so he's definitely scraping the bottom. We'll do better. Just do better. Just do better than that. Vidiot's degrees when? Oh, that's a good idea. We should sell those.

Stolen Biker Grove. Oh, very good. Coming back, Biker Grove. Is it? It is, yeah. Oh, my God. With Anten Deck, their executive producers. What?

Got Boppenheimer. Very good. And chippy wopperuni as well. And finally we've got It's Bartex Fave Boomer Show Young Sheldon D's Nuts Sorry we don't impress you Pete Bucks for Ben's Burgled Bike

Thank you very much Caroline took Ben's bike again Apparently Bear in an otter suit on a bike Bear in a man's suit Mr Macca Luke Skywanker Luke Skywanker

Dave Benson Thick Hips and Otter arrested for bike theft and there you go that is your Pod Squad this week thank you so much Poddsquod Pottietz.com 3 pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast and help us out support things you enjoy

we love you thank you do you guys have a favourite Luke Skywanker yeah that got a real surprise from me I didn't see that one coming I did not see that one coming either but I'm going to go with Tony Hawke's prostateer oh yeah yeah yeah

I like that one a lot I do like that. If we ever bring up a personal tragedy on the podcast, we can know that in the next episode, you'll be getting beaten to a pulp with puns and jokes. Yeah, it will be ridiculed. And that will feel great. So thank you.

Thank you, everyone. Mikey, you are in charge of sourcing, I was going to say customer. Listener things. Customers, yes. Listener things. So would you like to kick things off and tell us who's going first?

Well, since you've asked me, Ben, why don't you give us a go? What's your thing? week. You want my listener thing? Yeah. Okay. My listener thing is from, where is it? I'm going to find it now. Oh, got you off God. Uh, cat kissing face llama at X pink glasses on Twitter. I think this is the second show in a row that they've been featured on here. Yeah. So this is a news story from NDTV, which I've never heard of before. U.S. man addicted to tuna fish, where's its juice as Cologne, eats 15 cans a week.

Oh my God. What a headline. Really just went places immediately, didn't it? Where's its juice as Cologne? Okay. In his on-camera segment, Tyler humorously portrays himself as a big fish in a small can. What is that mean? I don't know.

I don't know. It's humorous, though. right. It's funny. It's funny. We're all laughing at it. A US man has admitted to having such an intense addiction to the act of smelling, consuming and even sipping from cans of tuna that it has led him to consume a staggering 15 cans on a weekly basis. I'm going to say right off the back, if he's consuming that many cans, he's not going with the sustainably fished ones. He's going for the cheap stuff that has like dolphin in it and stuff. That's no good. When you were little and you had like a favorite food you would eat all the time did your grandma or your uncle say you'll

turn into a custard cream or whatever they used to say that because he will turn into a tuna fish if he eats that much he can fucking smell him as well i referred to as tuna tyler and hailing from lawrence kansas he made an appearance on an episode of the television program my strange addiction still addicted question mark broadcast on the tlc network in the united States. During his appearance, he discussed his obsession with canned fish. According to a report by the New York Post, Mr. Tyler has taken his obsession to the extent of even using its juice as a form of cologne. I love smelling tuna every day, all the time, all night, any day, every day, states the fish enthusiast. He's always liked fish. When he was little, and most

kids during Easter want chocolate in their baskets and things like that. He didn't eat the chocolate, so he put tuna in cans of sardines because he loved. like that, said Mr. Tyler's mother, Ursula, from the Little Mermaid, presumably. Yeah. That was their immediate go-to. Oh, he doesn't like the chocolate. What else does he like? Well, he sometimes has kippers and tuna. Should we maybe have him speak to a child psychologist about this? Maybe a little bit. No. No. No. Ursula. Come on. Your son is not right. He stinks. Before I continue the story. yes or no, does this man fuck tuna?

Yes, a shadow a doubt, yes. That's got to be the correct answer. Yeah, yeah. I didn't think it would turn into, you know, where he was smelling it and keeping it and being addicted to it now, his mother added. In a video excerpt from the TV show shared on YouTube, Tyler is seen seated at a coffee shop.

He retrieves a small can of tuna and a can opener from his pocket. Casting furtive glances around, Mr. Tyler cautiously pops open the can and deeply inhales the aroma. Oh, God. As he indulges in this peculiar scent ritual, a woman carrying a steaming cup of coffee approaches him. Instead of sipping her beverage, Mr. Tyler once again takes in the scent of tuna, drawing the attention of the curious coffee shop crew around him.

They call me Tuna Tyler, and I'm addicted to smelling tuna. When people see me smelling Tuna out in public, you know, they might think it's a little different for sure. it might look weird to other people but to me i think it's perfectly fine he said right that's the end of the article wow um i don't know why it said there hang on i'm a bit confused by this line instead of sipping her beverage like her beverage yeah like tyler was going to stand up and just slurp out of this woman's cup well i guess it means that she works there and has brought him his coffee but then it's not her beverage is it no i don't

I don't, yeah, it's weird. I also thought, was it not, I don't know if it was ever proven or just speculated that a lot of the people on that show were, that it was like, it was fake, basically. Oh, was it? Is that right? Well, I don't know. But the fact they're doing a follow-up

and it's called Still Addicted because there was that guy who was in love with his car. Yeah. And unfortunately, the car, I think he had a crash and he had to get rid of it. That's very sad. Because I did see a clip from that recently. and then there was also someone who had like a whole family of like pool inflatables

but they didn't always just have them in the pool they had them like in their bedroom and you know they would just sort of cuddle this big killer whale and yeah it was you know I mean a lot of these people basically are suffering from a mental illness I would argue yeah it's what it sounds like isn't it yeah unfortunately but yeah man the tuna one Not heard of that guy until now. No. Tuna Tyler. Do you think he gave himself that name or that was given to him by others?

Oh, man. No, he definitely chose that one because if he stinks as much as he obviously does, that's not the nickname he's being given. I mean, even if he wasn't wearing the juices cologne, he probably would still just smell of tuna for eating that much of it all the time. But the fact he, like, rubs it on himself is, uh, it's, Interesting. Fucking weird, man.

Yeah, fucking weird is what it is. Strange dude. Thank you, fair listener, for submitting that news. We should say we put out a call for weird news, strange happenings in your local area, things that we could feature in these segments now. So keep an eye out on social media, Twitter, that is, when we ask for it. And you could be featured on this show. Oh, my God.

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A nice tan, sorry, nope. But a box fan, happily yes. A day of sunshine, no. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Thank you very much, Ben. Absolutely delightful. I can smell it from here. Yes. Peter, would you like to kick us off with your thing? I would. Thank you, Mikey. I have taken to Wikipedia today, and I've got a sort of a collection of articles, really.

We're looking at basically made-up words today. I know all words are essentially made up, but these are real made-up words. So we start with the text from the article on ghost words, which begins. A ghost word is a word published in a dictionary or similar authoritative reference work even though it had not previously had any meaning or being used intentionally.

Ghost word generally originates from readers interpreting a typographical or linguistic error as a word that they're just not familiar with and then publishing that word elsewhere under the misconception that it's an established part of the language. Once authoritatively published, a ghost word occasionally may be copied widely and enter legitimate use. It may eventually be discovered and removed from dictionaries.

The term was coined by Professor Walter William Skeet. S-K-E-A-T, which sounds like its own made-up word, to be honest. And he talked about it in his annual address as president of the Philological Society in 1886. That's a made-up word. Is that we're doing it already? Is that one of the fake ones? I think so. So this was what he said in his speech.

Of all the work which the society has at various times undertaken, none has ever had so much interest for us collectively as the new English dictionary. Dr. Murray, as you remember, wrote on one occasion, the most able article in order to justify himself in omitting from the dictionary, the word abacot, A-B-A-C-O-T, defined by Webster as, quote, the cap of the state formerly used by English kings wrought into the figure of two crowns. It was rightfully and wisely rejected by our editor

on the ground that there is no such word, the alleged form being due to a complete mistake due to the blunders of printers and scribes or to the perfervid imaginations of ignorant or blundering editors. Wow. Yeah, I know, he's angry. Scazing. I don't know what those words mean, but that sounded pretty scathing to me.

probably made up some of those i think is an abacot just what um Swedish pop groups put the babies in oh it is very good he's fucking done it it's not made up it's real what wait what no no i'm joking that's what it could be there

you found the real definition if you go deep into the hills of sweden then yeah you'll find find the abacot deep in the cave fuck's sake um if uh he continued in his speech

I propose therefore to bring under your notice a few more words of the abacot type, words that will come under our editor's notice in the course of time in which I have little doubt that he will reject, as is convenient as it's convenient to have a short name for words of this character, I shall take leave

to call them ghost words. I can adduce at least two that are somewhat startling, as they are if you're president of the philological society anyway. The first is Kaim, K-I-M-E. The original word of this appeared in the

Edinburgh Review for 1808 in the quote, the Hindus have some very savage customs. Some swing on hooks and some run Kimes through their hands. The

quote then from William Walthuskeet ends temporarily and the article just cuts back in and says it turned out that Kimes was a misprint for knives, but the word gained currency for some time. So, I mean,

it's also just problematic in 180, well, not in 1808, but it's problematic now to be saying things like the Hindus have some very savage customs, but... Yes. Yeah, even the preposition, the Hindus is a bit... Yeah, he's not even spelt it right. They've put H-I-N-D-O-O-S, Hindus. I see, there's another one. Yeah, just making stuff up, left, right and centre.

God's sake. But Skeet continued with the second example. A similar instance occurs in the misprint of a passage of one of Walter Scott's novels. But here there is further amusing circumstance that the etymology of the false word was settled to the satisfaction of some of the readers. In the majority of editions of the monastery by Sir Walter Scott, we read, dost thou so soon morse thoughts of slaughter? Morse spell as in Morse code, but with a lower case M, dost thou so soon morse thoughts of slaughter? He says, this word is nothing but a misprint of nurse. So nursing,

nursing thoughts of something but he says in notes and queries which is a like a scholarly journal two independent correspondence accounted for the word morse etymologically one said that it means to prime as in when one primes a musket from old French amos

which is the powder you used on the touch hole and someone else said that it means to bite from Latin mordia so that's all that's kind of the origin of what ghost words are and that's a kind of quite tedious, archaic, long drawn-out speech from Walter William Skeet. But there are some more interesting, more modern examples now that we can go to. So this is one you might have heard of. I think this is the one the most famous. The word

dood, D-O-R-D, it has its own Wikipedia article. Daud is a dictionary error in lexicography. It was accidentally created as a ghost word by the staff of G&C Merriam Company, which is now part of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary Company, in the New International Dictionary Second Edition in 1934. The dictionary defined the term doored as a synonym for density used in physics and chemistry in the following way. They put doored, noun, physics and chemistry, abbreviation for density. Philip Babcock Gove, who was an editor at Merriam-Webster,

who became editor-in-chief of Webster's third new... Babcock. Babcock, yes. He became editor-in-chief of Webster's third new international dictionary, wrote a letter to the journal American Speech 15 years after the error was caught, in which he explained how the word doored was introduced to the dictionary in error and then corrected.

He said that on the 31st of July 1931, Austin M. Patterson, who was the dictionary's chemistry editor, sent in a slip reading uppercase D or lowercase D, comma, density. This was intended to add density to the existing list of words that the letter D can abbreviate to. Because, you know, if you look in a dictionary, they have individual letters in there sometimes. Like, if you look in the dictionary, there's an entry for the letter N, and it might have like newtons in it or something

or M, you look up M and it says meters. So he'd written a piece of paper and put D D or D density. Doored. They mistakenly thought that it was just the word doored. And then it entered

the dictionary and became part of speech. Doored. How hard is the job of editing a dictionary that you miss a blunder like that? I mean, how many words are there in the dictionary? Like 300 or something? God. Well, yeah, I mean, come on.

At least 300. It sounds like it's a lot of very intelligent people not wanting to ask questions that might potentially make them look foolish to other intelligent people. So they're just making assumptions, right? Yeah, yeah. On the 28th of February 1939,

an editor noticed that Doord lacked an etymology and investigated it, discovering that it was an error. An order was sent to the printer marked plate change, imperative, urgent, and the non-word Dord was excised. Density was then added as an additional meaning for the abbreviation D and the definition of the adjacent entry, which was Dore, so that came under Dord in the dictionary. They just expanded the definition of that to make it a bit longer to take up the space that they'd

removed from Dord. Otherwise, every single page after that would have like rippled out of sync and they didn't want to have to change all of the printing plates. But then we've got a last few sort of selection of examples here, Dodd, as I say, being the main one. But in mathematics, Boole's rule, which is B-O-O-O-L-E, that was named after George Ball, and it's a method of numerical integration. It's sometimes known as Bode's rule due to a typographical error

that propagated from Abramowitz and Stagin, which is a mathematical reference work. So they just joined an O and an L together. And a lot of people talk about Bode's rule now to this day, apparently. In the book, here's one for you, Mikey. In the book, Beyond Language, Adventures in Word and Thought, Dmitri Borgman shows how Feming, which is F-E-A-M-Y-N-G,

a purported collective noun for ferret, which appeared in several dictionaries is actually the result of a centuries-long chain of typographical errors or misread handwriting errors. So you might know, Mikey, I didn't know this, that a collective noun for ferrets

is a busyness. You can say, there's a busyness of ferrets. Wait, is it pronounced busyness? I've always just said business. A busyness sounds way better, though, actually. Is it a Y? I mean, there's a Y in it. What?

In this bit here, in this original thing. But maybe it's now a business. business of ferrets. It might have just been corrupted over time in a different way, but certainly originally it was a business of ferrets with a Y in it. That was then written wrongly in some book as a beziness, B-E-S-Y-N-E-S. Then that became a feziness, and then that became a fezzy, F-E-S-N-Y-N-G, fes-ning, and then that became feeming. I don't know, because people are just misreading handwritten notes and stuff over time.

time and someone writes the wrong thing in a dictionary and it passes on to the next reference book and everyone just trusts these books unquestioningly. So a busyness became a feaming of ferrets. A feeming of ferrets. Some of these errors continue, they just became the actual words that we still use to this day. Apparently the Hebrides, as in the islands in Scotland, or off Scotland, come from the Latin Heb-U-D-E-B-U-D-E-S, but the U just accidentally turned into an R and an I because of a scribal error. So now we call them the Hebrides,

because someone made a mistake. Then, interestingly, the new Oxford American Dictionary includes an entry for the word esquivalents, which they literally just put in there to trap people who were copying their work. It was like a copyright protection word. It's purely made up. The definition they put was the willful avoidance of one's official responsibilities.

And the fake entry apparently ensnared dictionary.com, which included an entry for Esquivalience for some time, which has since been removed. And also Google Dictionary included the word because they have like a licensing agreement with Oxford dictionaries and it just, I guess, automatically copied across. And then lastly, we've got someone. who apparently in July 2008, a 17-year-old student called Dylan Breves, or Breaves, edited the Wikipedia article on the Cotee, which is like a mammal, a little animal thing, and he said that Cotys are also known as Brazilian Ardvarks. They are not. It was a private joke. There is no such thing as a Brazilian Ardvark, but this was left unchanged for six years and proliferated in various reference books. just because he said

that that's what it was called. So there you go. Some made-up words that were passed around as real. Oh, cute. Amazing. Hopefully one day we can get a word in the dictionary. Let's get, like, would Bobbis be in dictionary?

Is it Bobpice in there? Dictionary.com, if it's already in there, then I guess we've got to be in there, surely. Buy one pick-up in store. Buy online. No results for Boppas. Wow. Oh, come, boys.

It's time to. vandalise some Wikipedia articles and make Boppas real. Yeah. How do we get Boppas in? Can we submit a word? You've got an idea for a word. You just send it in a great idea for a word.

This would be a great word. Maybe we can edit the Wikipedia entry for the Cotee and just say, also known as the Brazilian Boppis. And eventually, someone will pick it up. The Brazilian Boppis. I like it.

Absolutely spectacular. Thank you very much, Peter. I feel very learned now. Yeah, it was pretty dense, wasn't it? Pretty doored that collection of... Oh, look at this. I am going to read my article this week. I did kind of steal the best one for myself.

I'm sorry, but I'll see you. It's another seagull. No, sadly, no. I did have a hunt around for some seagull news, but as to Bedminster is it's gone quiet. so I'm keeping my ear close to the ground. It's because everyone's dead. The seagulls killed them all.

Fier's battle. That lasted hours and hours. There was no more animal catches to finally tame the seagull. So he won. And now he feasts on the children at Enterazda. I have an article and it was submitted by Groovy Pasti at Groovy Pasti on Twitter. And the headline reads, and I'm so sorry, Dad hasn't stopped farting since eating ham rule at Christmas market five years ago.

Hang on. What? Hang on. There's a lot wrong with that. Wow. So he's identified exactly what caused it. It was five years ago, and he's not stopped farting since. Oh, dear. I mean, I don't think any of us have technically stopped farting since eating at Christmas. Since we were born. Yeah, at what point, like, does. Does the frequency of farts become constant?

And when is it just a wind tunnel? Is it just one constant sound? Or did he maybe, maybe he'd never farted before Christmas five years ago. And then he ate that ham roll. And now he just farts a couple of times a day. And he's like, that fucking ham roll. I've not stopped since. Oh, dear.

Tell us more. The subtitle reads, Tyrone Pratt is, Prads, Trades, Taron Prades, I'm going to say, claims he has suffered life-changing problems since eating a festive ham hop-bap at the Frankfurt Christmas Market in Birmingham 2017. The company denies blame. Yeah, because the one who smelt it doubted, right? That's true.

A dad who claims he has had embarrassing chronic flatulence since eating a ham roll at a Christmas market five years ago is soon. for over 200,000 pounds. Oh my God. Who took his case? I feel like the problem, there might be a case in that because if he is farting non-stop, then like that food has potentially caused life-altering changes.

Like that man can't go to church anymore without embarrassing himself. No, he can't. Not church. He was a regular churchgoer until then. You have to take, you have to take the stairs everywhere because lifts are just dangerous now. You don't want to be stuck in there like that.

Yeah. He's the guy from all the jokes. He is. He might be able to get some sort of brand deal with Shreddies, though. He could become the face or the ass of Shreddies. That's it. That's how we do it. All right, Shreddies.

Have you still got that contact, Ben? It's how they hit them up. We've got one for them. I do. Yeah. I mean, it's been four years since I last spoke to them, but probably, yeah. They'll remember you. Well, they'll remember us.

They'll remember Mikey. They'll remember Mikey. Yeah, absolutely. Just keep this guy away from Tuna Tyler because it's combined The combination of smells Yeah The article continues

The 46 year old says he's suffered with Severe tummy problems No Tommy problems He's got my doing your stomach Tully Tum-Tum He's a more bifidous Act Irregularis

He does get his yak hold down him He's been He's suffered with severe tummy problems Within a day after eating the sandwich and was bed bound for five weeks afterwards and ill for months into the ringer

Mr Prads says he has been left permanently afflicted by embarrassing flatulence as well as other issues including a belly that makes churning noise a belly that makes churning noises so loud they keep him awake at night

they keep him awake at night this isn't funny this man's had gone through something traumatic but oh my god It's just the use of tummy in his bellies. He's got a rumbly, belly belly. It sounds like an episode of The Simpsons. Yeah, it does. It's also like, it's not the sensation of his belly, like, turning over.

You know, it's not the discomfort. It's just making a racket. It's so loud. Oh, bless him. He claims he contracted Salmonella from the BAP and says market operator, Frankfurt Christmas Market Limited, how festive, should pay more than 200,000, in compensation. However, the company denies blame and claims there was no salmonella bacteria at

the hamhawk stall. Believe us, we promise. There's no salmonella here. It wasn't at the hamhock store. It was, you know, all over the market, but we know it wasn't at that store. Fish market, yeah. According to documents filed, so this is, this is M legit like he did try and see them. According to documents filed at the High Court in London, Mr. Prads of Chippenham, Wiltshire, went to the market with his wife and children on December 9th, 2017. Within 24 hours, he was ill, suffering with stomach cramps, fever, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Stitted his lawyer, Robert Parkin. Oh, one letter of porkin.

You're an idiot, Robert. One letter of porkin. No win, no fee basis. He thought this would be a fun one. Makes a change from the usual, I guess. The claimant began to return to life as normal during 2019, but continue to feel lethargic and to suffer from bouts of diarrhea and similar complaint. he says. The symptoms are primarily fatigue and altered bowel function associated with churning

within his abdomen and with flatulinch. The claimant continues to suffer from excessive flatchelinch, which causes him a great deal of embarrassment. The claimant's stomach continues to make frequent churning noises to the extent that his sleep can become disrupted. I like the idea that if this goes to court, while they're all trying to like go through this story and work out, you know, who's culpable. They'll just be constant churning coming from one corner of the courtroom from this man. I mean, if there isn't, then case closed. Exactly, yeah.

Mr. Parkin claimed the ham hawk had been contaminated with the bacteria and that other visitors to the market fell ill after eating at the stall too. I guess he was the very unlucky one. He got concentrated salmonella. A total of 16 people in three groups complained of similar symptoms after eating at the stall. Following an investigation by the public health England, and two cases of salmonelosis. I didn't realize there was a word for it,

but hey, salmonellosis were confirmed as originating at the stall between the 9th and 11th of December that year. Ooh, so they lied. They said there was no salmonella, but the proof says otherwise. The bacteria was found on a knife used to cut cooked meat

and an unsatisfactory level of enterobacteria. Oh my God, wow, that is just a collection of vowels. Can one of you tell me how I pronounce this, please? Oh, God, I've got too many discords that all have vidiates in them. There we go. Enterobacteria cia. Entirio bacteria say, say. Bacteria say.

Bacteria say. I don't know. What a word. The complicated black bacteria. This caused the stall to be closed and deep cleaned and the remaining of the food disposed of. Mr. Praid, assuming the company. alleging it was negligent in supplying a contaminated BAP having failed to have sufficient hygiene measures in place. It is plain that a food stuff which is contaminated in the matter that BAP was was not one which was suitable for human consumption, he says.

The company is defending Mr. Prade's allegations disputing that he was infected by salmonella bacteria and also questioning the size of his claim. Oh, well, are they 200 grand? Five years. I think that's fair. I don't know how much money a BAP. Bap van has though so he might be buying with the wrong tree I mean it sounds like there was Salmonella at the stall and you know

he might even be able to prove that he was one of the people who caught it I mean it's five years ago I don't know how you prove definitively that I also got it from that stall but then you need to make the leap of like I'm not saying it's not like you can upset your gut biome can't you

by like being really ill you can like lose certain bacteria like the good bacteria from your tummy and then that can just leave you off balance kind of for a long period of time so people have to have sometimes people have to have poo transplants don't they? Have you heard of this?

Oh yeah so can kind of get different bacteria in your gut? Yeah I saw a South Park episode about it All right, okay it's a real thing it's like a medical thing of people donate their own shit which has you know like a good microbiome and then that stuff is like input it's like laid into people's like small intestine or something

to try and like help their gut biome I don't really want to think about how they put it up there yeah I think they just go ass to ass and that's pretty much where the article stalls it says at the end here it's due to it went to the court last week and they're planning a future trial of the claim so I guess I'll keep my eyes peeled to see if our boy gets justice but yeah should have got should have gone to what was the BAPS van called

with the dogging Oh God Bertha's Baps or something Yeah I can't remember now Yeah I don't even know where I'd find it Said Bertha's Baps You should have gone to Bertha's

Wouldn't happen if Bertha's I'm gonna Google Dogging Burger Van and see if I get it Oh here we go I found it All right I've just started I started typing I typed

I typed dogging space baps and he said oh this is something you looked at before um men from manchester are holding dogging parties in the bushes behind a roadside cafe called big baps oh he's just big baps oh yeah oh dear business is being blighted by in quotes men from manchester it's such a good article it's so good all-timer Fuck, okay. Thank you, Mikey. Yes, thank you.

Submitter. Great, fantastic. Thank you. Thank you. This episode is brought to you by Mewmue-Mew. Introducing Mutein, the new feminine fragrance by the iconic fashion house. Mutine captures the youthful, unconventional essence of the Mew-Mew-Girl, brought to life by a gourmand, intimate and enveloping scent of wild strawberry and brown sugar accords.

Mutein is not a statement, but a knowing glance. A sweet rebellion, lighthearted and laced with wit, a gesture made for oneself. Discover the new fragrance, mutine, now available in Canada. Ben, how are you feeling about doing your thing right now? I've got a thing right here. All this thing right in your trunk. How are you going to handle all that thing, all that thing inside your trunk?

History.com is the home of today's thing. This was written by Christopher. Thank you. Sorry, that was really bad. Fuck me. Christopher Klein, he has one hit and he can't, he just won't stop. Go on guys, laugh, laugh, oh. Christopher Klein, this was originally published in September of 2015, so you're right, and it is historical, but was updated on the 23rd of May this year. Don't know how. I've had to look through. Don't really see how that could have been updated. Maybe it was just republished.

Anyway, here we go. The Man Who Bought Stonehenge. Okay. You want to learn about this? Well, you're fucking gunner. So here we go. Like most of the bargain hunters who packed the palace theater in Salisbury, England on the afternoon of September the 21st, 1915. And I, please don't laugh.

Cecil Chub was looking for a deal. Come on. Sorry, no, I just breathed. I wasn't laughed. I was just breathing. Legend says the wealthy 39-year-old lawyer had been dispatched by his wife to purchase a set of dining chairs. But that all changed when auctioneer,

Howard Frank announced lot number 15, Stonehenge, with about 30 acres, two rods, 37 perches of adjoining downland. It may be hard to imagine the world's first prehistoric monument, now a UNESCO world. Is it UNESCO? Is that how you pronounce it? Yeah. The world's first prehistoric monument. How do they know that? That's what it says here. I guess it means that still, maybe they've dated all known prehistoric monuments and it's the oldest surviving one. But that's... It's the oldest environment, or it might be the oldest UNESCO.

Oh, yeah, it's probably that, yeah. It seems quite a claim to say, this is the first monument ever. This is the oldest thing. Yeah. Now a UNESCO World Heritage Site for sale to the highest bidder, but that's what happened when the extensive estate of Sir Edmund Antrobus went under the gavel just months after his death a century ago. What may be even harder to imagine is that Frank found no eager buyers

when he opened the bidding at £5,000. Go on if you have a look at what £5,000 is worth, today. In what? 1915 is when it was originally. What'd you call it inflation? What'd you call it inflation? I'll read the next bit while you... While you look that up.

Surely someone will offer me £5,000, the auctioneer intoned after being greeted with silence. As he peered out at the crowd, Frank was relieved to finally see a hand raised in the air. The bidding reached £6,000 before hitting another lull. Gentlemen, it is impossible to value Stonehenge. you Stonehenge, Frank said. Surely, £6,000 is poor bidding. But if no one bids me any more, I shall set it at this price. Will no one give me any more than £6,000 for Stonehenge? What a year did you say? 1915. Okay. Do you want to know how much 5,000 was? I would.

The equivalent of 422,969. Nice pounds. And 32 pounds. So basically 423K. Wow, that's not a lot for Stonehenge. No. I don't have that kind of money, but yeah, that is cheap. I'd scrape together. I'd do a collection at that point to try and get it for that cheap. I don't think people had nearly as much grotesque money as people do today, do they? Yeah. Or some people do.

You know, so maybe that's it. Maybe that's also partially. Very wealthy people had hundreds of thousands to spare. But these days, someone would swoop in. It would be some Saudi prints or something, would buy it for a billion. and not even sweat it, you know. Back then, you had to put your whole Frank Antrobussy into it. How long were you sitting on that one?

A while. I was trying to, I was waiting for a moment where I could bring it in, but I was like, we're going to get away from Frank if I leave it too long. Yeah, we're not going to talk about Frank much more. Someone will no one give me any more than £6,000 for Stonehenge. Someone did, hyphen, chub, full stop. When the auctioneer finally lowered his gavel, Stonehenge had been sold for $6,000.

600 pounds, slightly more than $1 million in today's money. Sorry, Peter, I should have just read on. That's not true. 558,000 according to Bank of England.com code at UK. This guy's a clown. Doesn't know a thing. Chubb, who was born only three miles from Stonehenge, told a local newspaper that he had no intention of purchasing the Neolithic relic when he entered the theatre, but did so on a total whim. While I was in the room, I thought a Salisbury man ought to buy it. And that is how it was done, he said. Stonehenge was certainly a fixer-upper by the time Chubb took the deed. The monument, which had been privately owned since King Henry VIII, confiscated it from a nearby

Benedictine Abbey around 1540, had been drawing curious visitors since Roman times. 19th century souvenir hunters armed with chisels regularly took chips off the old blocks were hay and etched their names in the ancient stones. In 1900, an outer sarsen upright stone and an enormous lintel crashed to the ground. while wooden planks propped up other stones. The following year, Antrobus, whose family had purchased Stonehenge in the early 1800s, fenced off the monument and began to charge a one-shilling admission to pay for a guard and a restoration of the neglected ruin.

Just a year after Druids placed a curse, there's so much here that I really wish we knew more about. Just a year after druids placed a curse on the monument's owner for banning their annual solstice celebrations, Antrobus lost his only son and only heir to the baronet sea on the Western Front in October 1914 during one of the opening battles of World War I. Four months later, Antrobus himself passed away at the age of 67 and his widow placed his 6,420-acre Amesbury Abbey Estate, which included Stonehenge, up for auction. Some preservationists believe Stonehenge should be turned over to the British government for safekeeping, but it remained in private hands with Chubb's purchase.

Reportedly, the lawyer's wife, Mary, was not thrilled with this monumental buy, perhaps because she still pined for that dining room set, which made it an easier decision when Chubb gifted Stonehenge to the British people in October 1918. Stonehenge is perhaps the best known and most interesting of our national monuments and has always appealed strongly to the British imagination, Chub wrote in his letter announcing the donation. To me, who was born close to it and during my boyhood, and hang on, Close to it, and during my boyhood and youth visited it all hours of the day and night,

under every conceivable condition of weather, in driving tempests of hail, rain and snow, fierce thunderstorms, glorious moonlight and beautiful sunshine, it always had an inexpressible charm. I became the owner of it with a deep sense of pleasure, and had contemplated that it might remain a cherished possession of my family for long years to come. It has, however, been pressed upon me that the nation would like to have it for its own and would prize it most highly. The British government launched an extensive renovation of Stonehenge in 1990 that included straightening stones and resetting them in concrete.

Nearly a century later, the restoration work has continued with the removal of nearby roads and outdated visitor facilities in order to return the nearby landscape to its ancient appearance. In return for his gift, Chubb received the title First Baronet of Stonehenge, but locals dubbed Sir Cecil, but locals dubbed Sir Cecil Viscount Stonehenge, which is a very cool name. They dubbed the Chub. We chubb the Chubb who died at the age of 58, which is very young, in 1934, stipulated in his donation that those who lived near Stonehenge should receive free admission to the monument.

To this day, around 30,000 of the 1.3 million people who visit annually can do so without paying the admission fee thanks to the impulse buy of Stonehenge's last private Chubb. Yeah, I think I knew that, that locals get in for free. I'm sure I've heard that somewhere. It's like Radio One's big weekend, isn't it? Yeah. So there you go. Very interesting.

A story about the last owner of Stonehenge. It was shame to admit all I could focus on the entire story was the fact he's called Chubb, that isn't? Yeah, me too. Such a shame, such a generous Chubb. gave a lot to us all. I'm, I really want to know more about this curse that was Yeah, the druid, you can't just sort of drop that in. The druid curse, like, what?

You know, the curse. Yeah, the druid, after the druid curse, you know, killed off the sun and then also the man. It was sold to Chubb. Yeah. Brilliant. What a journey. But that's my thing.

Fascinating. Thank you very much. Thank you, Ben. You're welcome. Peter, would you like to read out your. Thang this week. Your viewer submitted Thang, yes. Yeah, my viewer submitted one. This was submitted by Conner Bennett at C. Bennett underscore 12 is according to the Bristol Post. And the headline is quite the headline. It's really

took me by surprise. Strictly's Les Dennis accused of being a purebred racehorse in bizarre Wikipedia edits. Now that's not a metaphor. He's actually being accused of being a purebred race horse. Okay. He's looking a little horse. The Family Fortune Star completes the strictly 2023 lineup, but some of the reaction to his next TV

stint has been anything but normal. This is written by Maisie Lily White, senior audience writer. Oh. Yeah. Indeed. The top writer on on this. So context for those

who don't know, because I don't think this necessarily tells you who Les Dennis is. It just tells you why he's relevant at the moment. Les Dennis was a TV presenter of sort of game shows and things, particularly Family Fortunes, which I think is called Family Feud in America, right? Yeah. But he's done, you know, other things before and since.

But yeah, he's then become one of these kind of, not quite a Dave Benson Phillips character, because I think he does actually still get work, but he was lampoon. Oh, burn. Brut. That's not quite what I meant, but I mean, he still gets like some.

mainstream work is my point rather than you know doing his own kind of private functions and stuff but um he was lampooned he was in on the joke but he was like lampooned by rickie jabase in a few different sitcoms as this kind of like washed up guy who you know doesn't get any work or anything but it's kind of a joke and really he does but anyway so um strictly come dancing contestant les dennis has been the subject of a bizarre internet conspiracy this week, with social media users, claiming the comedian is in fact a purebred racehorse. This morning, August 11th, the BBC officially announced that Les was the 15th and final celebrity to be joining the Strictly 2023 lineup with the star saying he can't wait to get stuck in.

The announcement of each celebrity contestant has sparked a reaction on social media, but some other comments made following Les's announcement have been a bit different to those his peers received. Many strictly fans have been excited to hear that Les will be competing in the next series, while others have been confused as to why the BBC has signed an, quote, alleged horse. Wikipedia appears to have locked the Formula Family Fortune's hosts page for editing after users began changing it to say he was actually an equine. In a series of now amended entries posted on Twitter by journalist Oz Katerjee, several editors have made reference to the comedias quote, extraordinary racing ability for a horse measuring at 17 hands

and how he is most known for being a secret horse in the opening paragraph of his Wikipedia entry. One entry reads, Les Dennis Heseltine, born 12th of October, 1953, is a purebred racehorse pretending to be an English television presenter, actor and comedian. According to the history of the 69-year-old Wikipedia page. A Wikipedia user by the name of Joyus protected the page following persistent vandalism at 1123pm on August the 9th. But this certainly didn't stop the hilarious screenshots from going viral on Twitter and plenty of social media users galloping, not trotting, to make horse-related jokes at Les's expense following his strictly announcement. Then a screenshot of Les Dennis Hasseltine is a pure bread race horse.

pretending to be an English television presenter. Do you reckon I mention this on strictly? I hope so. Oh yeah, got to lean into it. Then it has some of the sort of comments in the article as well. Dressage on primetime TV, you love to see it, one fan tweeted. Another joked, when first asked, Les said nay to appearing. A third, quipped, I didn't know a horse could dance.

Well, we did. Clearly, this person's not been looking at Bin Laden's hard drive. Where have you been? Yeah, come on. Following the news, Les has gushed over his upcoming appearance on Strictly with the TV legend set to celebrate a big birthday during the year's series. I'm thrilled to be doing this iconic, wonderful show as I approached my 70th birthday, Les said.

In my career, I've always gone for challenges outside my comfort zone, and this is the ultimate one. Can't wait. Oh. there's another in fact it might be the same screenshot but I've just noticed the second sentence in it oh yeah this is a different screenshot actually

Les Dennis Hesteltine is an English television presenter actor comedian and race horse he presented family fortunes from 1987 until 2002 Dennis is well known for his extraordinary racing ability for a horse measuring at 17 hands yeah we had that earlier in the article for God's sake

God's sake. So that's a horse in a man suit. It is. It's sort of the inversion. But yeah, that is the that's the end of the article pretty much. There's just a filler at the end. There's no explanation of where this started,

why it started at all. It's just, oh, people aren't doing this. Yeah, whatever. Great. I love that. Is that just one person started it and then everyone else, like, I guess, yeah, I guess if there's a new person on Strictly every year, then if you just make some cheeky

edits to a dealer's Celebrity's Wikipedia page it might go and notice for a while so when people the show starts like oh what's Les Dennis been up to click on the Wikipedia page bam

you got your horse he's a horse oh I didn't know that oh love did you hear this Les Dennis is actually a horse it's great well thanks for sending that in Connor Bennett

I enjoyed that that's good I don't know about you guys but we've not had any pictorial stuff to add to the thread so far or we've got some tuner and a picture of the dictionary

oh you guys have been adding stuff anyway yeah we got some stuff in there I'll put a screenshot of layers in there as well. Yeah, just for the whole time sick. Or a racehorse. Interchangeable. Now, move on to my thing.

So I thought I'd take us back to the Greeks in the height of philosophy and whatnot and kind of dig around and see what was going on in them days. What was going on in them days? I was a picture of the Greeks as being, you know, the kind of the peak of civilization, and these lofty thinkers with all these big ideas and I want to like thinking about the world and how things work and how we interact with it. So today I'm going to hone in on one particular philosopher,

Diogenes. Deogynes of Sunup, hello. I'm sorry, I don't know enough about great philosophers. Can I see that written down? I just want to make sure it is deogenes. I think it is, yeah. Okay. Deogynes is nuts.

That seems right. A.B. studied classics and is constantly, I've heard all these. Like, a lot of them, like, it's spelled dio genes. It is. And then who else is there? There's Antigone, which is spelled Antigone. So, you know, there's a lot of traps to fall into with these people. But yeah, I think it's Diozines.

It's not dodgynees because that's me. Yeah. Diozines? No, I'm going to stick with Diorginis. Sorry, Mikey. Carry on. Diogenes of Synope was an ancient Greek philosopher and self-proclaimed citizen of the world who at different points allegedly lived in a wine barrel, urinated on guests at a banquet and made a regular practice of insulting famous figures and lecturing shoppers in the marketplace in old Athens. Plato, oh, he's a naughty boy, he's a Ravskalian.

Plato reportedly called him, a Socrates gone mad, while 21st century historians have compared his life to one long Monty Python sketch. But though some believed him to be crazy, Diogenes was also one of the most respected and beloved philosophers of the 4th century and one of the founders of the ancient Greek school of philosophy known as cynicism. Oh, okay. So I think I've actually skirted around a lot of the philosophy that he, perpetuated instead as going for the weird shit he did but um i i guess yeah i what is cynicism

oh god i can't believe i'm doing an article about a cynicist and i don't know what cynicism really means it in in terms of greek philosophy i want to worry about it i'm just intrigued by the fact that you like pissed on people yeah yeah we're gonna learn about the piss parties yeah synepist i guess hey did you know uh did you know that um pissing on people is hereditary it runs in your diogenes No, diogenes. God damn it. Fuck. Damn it.

Oh, let down, let down. Good try. Come on. Let me say it again. It runs in your dio jeans. Brilliant. Thanks. Outstanding.

Really good. So the story all begins when he moved from his home in Synope to Athens. He arrived in Athens with a single slave named Mainz. However, this slave took advantage of the arrival to escape his master. And Diogenes, oh my God, I don't know how to pronounce this word. I'm going to call him Dio from now on. Is that fine? Right, sure. Yeah, Mr. D. D. Dio didn't report this, as he is supposed to have said,

eh, if Mains can live without Dio, Dio can certainly live without Mains. Right. Off he runs. He's fine. He's having a merry old time. Dio's meager living was legendary. He had asked someone to find a cottage for him when he came to the city. but when the search dragged on and on he just found an old wooden tub down by the river and lived in there instead

I think you wheeled it into the market and just kind of resided in the town centre sitting in a big tub which sounds quite fun he begged for a living and he owned very few possessions but one day after seeing a small peasant boy drink from a puddle using his hands to cup the water dio chucked away his ball

and because he thought well if this kid can do stoof with his hands. I don't need the ball. The ball is unnecessary. So I think that's part of cynicism is just kind of stripping back to the necessities, maybe. I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out. If you were around, you'd ask him, I'm sure. Oh, dear. What's that, what's that all about? It says here Diogenes believed human beings live artificially and hypocritically and would do well to study the dog. Oh, okay. All right. Oh, good timing. We're just about to get into his doggy business. Oh, right. due to his interesting way of living

he was often closely associated with the dog one time while he was eating food in the market which was a serious social for po po po po po po pooh oh my god I can't do anything word that isn't English fopo oh for a no no it was a social no

what are you trying to say what is happening four po po po po po po po po po pooh no don't tell him don't tell him that's what dogs have What are you trying to say foie gras? No,

Foscaught Fopar. Fos par. Is it Fop? Oh my God. Wow. X's, man. Wow, I really can't read. Fokes pass.

Fokes pass. I thought it was foix poix. Foyks. Serious foix poix at the time. Onlookers gathered around him as he ate his meal and shouted dog at him. Oh, no. Wow. To which Dio replied,

it is you who are the dogs. For you all gather. and stare at me while I'm eating my breakfast. Fair point. That's pretty good. All right, Deo, you want to something there. Deo also took after the dog in one other respect, his complete lack of embarrassment

over performing his bodily functions in public. At a party, he was mocked by the Athenian elite, calling him a dog and throwing bones at him. So that's a bit mean, however, leave Deo alone. So he simply stood up, walked over, lifted his leg, and proceeded to you. urinate on them. And on another occasion, in order to end a conversation with someone who would not leave him alone, he just defecated on the street in front of them. Okay. Oh. It's a pretty good

technique. I mean, yeah, they'll scale them off. It's dog stuff, isn't it? I'm surprised, like, I thought when you were, when you sort of introduced this, it was going to be, you know, the kind of the little known side of Diogenes. And like, you know, he's, he's this, you know, everyone thinks he's a big fancy Greek philosopher, but like what, what most people don't know is this is how he lived. But apparently this is, just like well known like apparently senile squaler syndrome when old people go into like self neglect and hoarding and just living in squalor is also called diogeny syndrome no way oh yeah oh my god wow so yeah like he was legit just a little goblin man i guess it's just yeah well

in the in the academic well in in the whole world seemingly we it's just passed us by that we didn't know this about him there's still more to come don't worry yeah uh himself made no secret that he dealt with his own sexual impulses through masturbation. That's fine. You're allowed to do that, Dio. What you're not allowed to do is do it in public. Nauty deal, naughty. Spray him of water.

But when he was chastised for doing so in public, he replied that he wished it was so easy to cure hunger by rubbing his belly. Oh. Yeah, then we all. Oh, dear. The cynics were concerned with living the philosophical philosophical ideal rather than just going off book knowledge. Hence, Dio had no patience for Plato and is endless theorizing. Dio regularly came to Plato's

Academy to heckle and disrupt the lectures. In one famous anecdote, Plato attempted to characterize humanity using the definition of his teacher Socrates. Humans were, in his word, featherless bipeds. And on hearing the news, Dio brought a plucked chicken to the academy, announcing he had found Plato's human. Oh, very good. And Dio had won the argument, and the academics were forced to revise their definition of a human, albeit only to a flat, nailed, featherless biped. Right.

Still, that's not great, guys. Come on, come on, Plato. You can do better than that. Is that what it took for them? I, surely, again, like, they're speaking metaphorically, but then when he turns up and says, look, I've got a plucked chicken here, and it's not a human, they all go, oh, crap, you're right. Oh, my God. I've been thinking all this time. Jesus. Another anecdote passed down through history is that Dio was taken prisoner by pirates on a trip to the island of Egina.

Eugenia, I'm going to say Eugenia. Dio and the other prisoners weren't given enough food, even though the pirates intended to sell them on as slaves. Dio pointed out that if you're going to sell sheep, wouldn't you fatten them up to get the highest price? And seeing the logic, the pirates began actually feeding the... prisoners more food I like how all the

stories about him are just and then everyone agreed he was a fucking sick guy and and then he

went on his next adventure yeah rather as be told shut up get back in you

yeah yeah can we can we kill this prisoner because he's loud

and being obnoxious like no you know what you make a great point handsome handsome

handsome Greek man yeah have some chips he's got some sort of superpower where he can

just like shit in the street and then as soon as everyone goes hey what are you doing he just says no and they go yeah you know what

you're right no you're brilliant you are you're so clever the heady early days of philosophy wake you do pretty much anything and it would be it would go down in history oh good when he was at the auction

ready to be sold he was asked where he was from and he replied I am a citizen of the world and when asked what he was skilled at he replied governing men oh yeah this guy Guys, this guy deserved to be punched a lot more. Then he pointed at a man in the front row and just said,

Sell me to him. He looks like he needs a good master. Oh dear, what a card. And they all went, yes, Diogenes, you're right. We will do what you say. Well, I love you, Diogenes. Apparently, yes, the well-dressed man, I can't pronounce that name. Zenadiz, Zenadiz, I'm going to say,

Zenodiz appreciated his sense of humor, and he bought Deo. who went with him to his home in Corinth. Dio became an instructor for this person's sons who loved their teaching. So, oh my God, imagine letting this man around your children to teach them. Oh, my God.

And remember, boys, when we have a hunger in our penis, we rub it away in the street. Oh, man. So while he was a slave for another man, Dio refused offers of ransom for his release by friends. He was quite happy staying put where he was.

Some versions of the story have Dio living out the rest of his life in that house and being quite happily just being a little slave man. I think he was probably after a while giving a loose leash and was all too. Being a little slave man. I don't know what I just came out.

I'm sorry. What a fucking sentence? I mean, this was a man who lived in a barrel for a while. probably surrounded by his own leavings. So he probably, yeah, was reasonably happy wherever he was sent to. Ooh, little slave man.

You got you so a little slave man? That's nice. What does he do? He just masts everywhere. He just masturbates and shit. It's awful. Tells my children to shit in the street. One of the greatest minds of our time.

Oh, God. And so while he was in Corinth, being a little slave boy, so I've got to stop seeing that. It feels wrong. It was in this time that he met with the legendary leader, Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great was actually out in search of the Great philosopher. He was hunting him down.

What? Yeah, he was like he wanted to like see the man, see the person in the flesh and get a real taste for him. God. And so Alex Alexander the Great found Dio just sitting around, lazing in the sun. And Alexander introduced himself, I am Alexander, the Great. King and Diobe replies, I am Diogenies, the dog. No, fuck off.

It's written down, it has to be true. This man has just mind-tricked the entire world. Like, Alexander the Great was looking for Diogenies because he wanted to meet him and speak to him about his philosophy. Like, how weird is that? And so even after, you know, saying to Alexander the Great, hello, I am dog, Alexander then offered to grant the philosopher anything he wished, anything at all.

Do you want to guess what he wished for? A new barrel. Yeah, dog biscuits or something. Yeah, some dentistics. He wished that Alexander would move aside because he was blocking the sunlight. Oh, my God. This man, it just sounds like this man is on the spectrum

to such a degree that he was, Failed by the science of his time. And everyone watched this man struggle and go, you are so clever. You're incredible. At least he can't be wrong. At least people liked him. So he's quite happy just got in about it.

Yeah, I mean, that's nice. But hearing his story, it's like, this man needed like a lot of help probably. Yeah. It does sound like, though, that he was the originator of the yes, hello, this is dog, me. So that's something. Yeah.

It's great. achievement. And to end on a final Alexander-related bit. Yeah, after being told, move aside, you're blocking my sunlight. Alexander was just so delighted at getting the chance to meet Dio and his lack of pretension that as he walked away, he remarked to his attendance. If I had not been Alexander, I would have liked to have been Dio. No, no, no, no. Are these all from the memoirs of Diozzi? Yeah, Diozzi wrote this article. Yeah, was this written by him? And then they all, the whole bus clapped

and they said I was awesome and nobody punched or kicked me. It was great. You probably, I do wonder, I should have looked at the sources for this, but I feel like at this point, like, I did cross-reference a lot of these. I did actually look through different stories

because it was like, what, what? But apparently, yeah, there is enough corroboration between these to say that, well, there's no hard proof that happened. It was a good chance it did. At the very least, I bet he was doing his plops and peas on the streets. Yeah. It's poor man.

A lot of weird stuff seemed to happen to all the Greek philosophers. I'm sure one of them, I know as a Plato or Socrates or I don't know. I don't, well, this may be someone else, but I think was banished to an island towards the end of their life. And then they died because an eagle dropped a tortoise on their head. That might not be the same person who was actually vanished to an island, but that's how they were killed. Because the eagles used to eat the tortoise,

they would drop it on the rocks to break the shell open. And it was flying along, and it dropped this tortoise, and the tortoise landed on his head and killed him. Do you think his bald head was a rock? Yeah, I think so. Dangerous times would be a bald man. And that is the story of Diogenes. I did have a digrant to see what else he did.

I'm sure if I read some scholarly, articles and stuff I'd find like a lot of a lot more stuff of substance but I'm only here for the dirty dirty stuff he did I didn't know about this man that was a journey thank you Michael certainly was very well thank you very much before the comments correct me

it was actually Asclius who was a playwright apparently not a philosopher but yeah very nice Mikey hello is there some sort of shop

oh I think I think there might be. If you go over to your web browser of choice and type in the magical letters vidyatsofficial.com and click on the lovely tempting little shop button, you will be greeted by a plethora of wonderful vidyates-themed goodies including sticker sheets, t-shirts, mug, hoodie and hat. Have a look.

We've still got the blobby designed on there. We've still got all the old favorites. Go on, treat yourself. It's soon winter will be, I mean, it's winter will be coming soon. so get your cell a hoodie and a little hat so you can keep nice and warm and some stickers just just just for fun those are just for you um go on go on cheat yourself that's uh vidyotsofficial dot com and click on shop youtube twitter facebook all dot com forward slash vidyat's official the discord is vidyat official dot com forward slash discord thank you to tommy and fleckers who modus

over there go chat with like-minded listeners and viewers go on actually i do highly recommend going on the Discord now because recently someone in the in the discord their family found a potato that kind of is the same shape as Mr. Blobby and so they've they've stuck googly eyes on him and now they're updating us with the wet like they just keep taking the potato out and taking pictures of him in places um so there's a good little good little adventure brewing in the discords that's happening in our discord that's our community why does this not hit the tabloids yeah yeah this seems like exactly right about whoever's responsible for this please reach out to all local news websites because i bet i bet one of those shitty websites would love to have that yeah metro

yeah metro would love it yeah they would love it especially if you're taking photos of it out and about yeah and name drop us in the article as well yeah you do it uh wonderful yeah go check out the check out the discord Twitch.TV forward slash Vidyats official no live streams planned currently but you know

we will do one at some point before the end of the year I'm sure it's an extremely busy time for all of us at the moment but hopefully we can get something in the book soon and we expect to see you all there whenever that is

I don't know when poddiots.com if you go there donate three pounds or more you'll get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast and join Pod Squad

you'll help us out you get immortalised on presumably your favourite podcast because there's no other podcasts on the internet so that has to be true there's a bit of great philosophy for you right is that yeah what it what a whoa he's so intelligent my god it's changed changed the world forever what can I say I'm just going to take a shit right here

and you can't argue with me Mikey can you kick us off once again please we do not want your comments come mince it's more funny if you pronounce it Come, mints, the generous Jen's Her Man, mum, my cocks stuck in the bidet, Jimmy Grimble football film. So I didn't realize it was, I got distracted by learning about Jimmy Grimble.

I didn't realize the name was just Jimmy Grimble football film. That's very to the point. We like it. Tony Hawke's Prostata, Donak 07, Freddie Weber, Stephen Scores, Lord Brotovich, hashtag free Hank the Tank. from bear prison he did nothing I've just tapped into Discord to read my

group out and I've seen that photo you've posted of the mist of Lobby it's very good and very creepy it is the list continues Caroline took Ben's bike happy anniversary Dave Matthews band incident

the very generous Cat Karen or Cater Karen Wayne Woparuni I'm a gun die was real name 2, Vidyatt's Degrees When, Stolen Biker Grove, Bopenheimer and Chippy Whoparoonie. Fantastic. And finally we have it's Bartex Fave Boomer Show, Young Sheldon D's Nuts. Sorry we don't impress you, Pete. Bucks for Ben's Burgl Bike. Caroline took Ben's bike, bear in an otter suit on a bike, bear in a man suit, Mr Macca,

Luke Skywanker, Dave Benson thick hips, that's with three C's that thick, and Otter arrested for bike theft. And then we have it. That's your pod squad. Once again, thank you so much to the pod squad this week. Pottyets.com, three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast. Peter Austin, what's out on Vidyates five years ago this week? Just adding that blobby to the thread.

There we go. Theta blobby. Out on Vidiates five years ago, we begin with Who Lives in a Pineapple? Which is Vanilla Minecraft episode 11. Pottie, it's episode 12. Milo's Purge. Oh, Bella.

Post some tat number 25. We've been woolified. Time for your joy pills. We happy few time capsule unboxing. Worst games ever. Crazy Frog Racer. For duck's sake, Vanilla Minecraft Episode 12. Sliding on blood.

Fairy tale fights. Smash that F button, Worms Revolution. Happy birthday, Owen, which is an unlisted video with... Happy birthday, Owen. 44 views. Goodness me. And two comments. How's that happened?

Wow. Benging with Babish, five tasty recipes for your switch cartridges. Fantastic. And finally, because this goes out... I know, I'm thinking if that's today's date. Postum tab number 26, the Ultimate Tat. Vidiot's live Twitch stream, We Happy Few slash GTA. Becoming Beautiful, which was Barbie makeover magic, part one, as I prove it.

Yes. And worst games ever, B-movie game. Indiana Bones, Vanilla Minecraft episode 13. Here we go. Three-headed Oscar winner, U-Star 2. That takes us up to release date of this podcast. Here you go. Fantastic.

Part of me, I had an idea the other day, and it's not something that I'm ever going to do. or any of us are ever going to have the time to do. I was thinking, how cool would it be if we downloaded every episode we ever did? And then per week that that stuff came out, we like wrote a script and presented it as if it were just like a really long episode of a TV show. Like, welcome to Vidiot's live.

It's Saturday at 9 a.m., it's proper children's TV. how about we hop into a post some tat and then you know it would be run that however many and we could cut the actual shows as they went out right down so it's just the best bits and then they wouldn't take up as much time and i think that'd be really lovely but it would also take fucking ages would so i just wanted to share that idea i think i think it would have been nice in another time if we could do that so speaking of things that we wouldn't have time to do you just reminded me. I've got to share this. My old manager at my old job

was in the news recently because I'll read the headline here. Parking Mad. U.K. man completes mission to park in every spot at local supermarket. What? Okay. And who's the UK man? Gareth, my manager,

he, I'd understand very quickly, I think it was over a couple of years. Yeah, six years it took him. He had a spreadsheet and everything. He plotted out his local Sainsbury supermarket, and he said to himself, I'm going to park in every single spot in this supermarket, no matter how long it takes. I feel like I know this, actually.

I'm sure I've seen something about the spreadsheet of the car park that just rung a little bell in my head there. Did we talk about this years ago, maybe? Did you know about this for a long time? Oh, this is last year he did it. But he's completed it now, but I don't know, it's something, maybe I might be thinking of something else, but I feel like a spreadsheet. No, because it's 20...

Yeah, this is 2021, so maybe we did actually talk about this and then later on, he became my fucking manager. God. Yeah, there's... I mean, it tracks the best this line of work. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, the real weird ones. Do you think he'd want to edit that thing that I just described?

I think so, yeah. I think he started a new challenge. I'm not going to spoil it, but I think he could take another bit of work on as well. He likes his long challenge. Yeah, endurance feet. Yeah. It wasn't as the bedman. Insta by any chance, was it?

No, sadly. Sadly, not. I wish, but he's a London boy. He could make the trip if he's really committed. Come on, Gareth. The next one to do. Mikey, where are you on the internet? At Parrot Boy on Twitter and Instagram.

There's them the best places to see me. Go to check him out. Lovely. And Peter, where are we? You can find me at That Peter Austin on Twitter and Instagram and a thread. and you can find Ben on just Twitter. You're not on Instagram, are you? I'm not, no.

At Confused underscore dude. And you can find both of us at Team Triple Jump on Twitter and Facebook, but more importantly, on YouTube and Twitch, where we're doing video game related stuff all the time and worst games ever particularly is one to go and look for. Nice. Lovely stuff. Why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice?

It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms, and it doesn't cost any money. we really appreciate it so why not go and do that right now you we'll check we'll fucking check before the next episode so maybe you maybe you should just go do it now just to be safe you know it's like one of those things you used to get back in the day and i recently discovered are still used today those manipulation tactics which is like the video or share to x many friends or you'll be cursed they're still doing that your crush will kiss you yeah you want your crush to kiss you leave us a five-star review

platform of choice or you're cursed so there we are and your son will die in the great war yeah cursed by druids uh lovely stuff i think we're all done here do we have a final question before we beg it off what should what should so it's william in the discord who's looking after the mr blobby potato you got any suggestions on where you can take take mr blabato that doesn't sound very good mr potto no this it's all bad at my school we had a little beanie frog called phileas frog as in around the world in 80 days and if you were going on holiday you would take Phileas Frog with you

and he went to like you know about 15 different countries it was a good idea actually It's very cute That's good Right well then we're done Thank you for listening slash watching

We'll see you in a couple of weeks time Keep an eye out on social media For the call for things And the chance to give On the Pod Squad as well And you look after yourselves Goodbye everybody Bye

Goodbye.