Podiots - Podiots: Episode 130 – Gravy Bay

Episode Date: September 23, 2023

Peter’s telling us the best jokes around, Mikey’s camping out on an island, and Ben’s revealing all about The Butterfield Experience. Join next episode's Pod Squad: http://podiots.com And check our website and store: http://vidiotsofficial.com -------------------  Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS!   Support Ben and Peter: https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump   YouTube: https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Okay, flights on air Canada. Oh, wow. Majorca, that's new. Oh, nice. But Vienna is a classic Mozart, palaces and schnitzel. Mm-mm, now you're cooking. If you're hungry, deli brings the heat.

Heat. Cartagena's got sun and the sea to cool off. So does Martinique. Mmm, and that French cuisine? Book it. Yes, chef. Wait, what about Lyon? Choose from our world of destinations, if you can.

Air Canada. Nice travels. Well, boys, what a momentous week or so for the vidiates slash poddiots. You can't keep getting away with this. This is silly. Yeah. Why, Ben? What happened?

Tell us. Well, you may have heard. Those of you on Facebook may not have heard, actually, because we forgot to put a post out on Facebook about it. But we spoke to Brian Butter. Butterfield the other day. We're going to tell you the full details of that a bit later on in the podcast. But then Peter and I had our number called. That sounds like we were going to die. That's not what I mean. We had our number called to go and see Brian Butterfield live in Whitley Bay or Gravy Bay. And we did. That happened last night at the time of recording on Wednesday of this week. Mikey, when's your number going to be called? it's on Wednesday of the week after this week after this goes out so we'll be able to get your thoughts really soon

oh yes oh yes I'm sure my thoughts will probably exactly mirror yours so um probably yeah yes it's a very exciting time to be alive that's for sure I do want to clarify for the couple of people in the comments that was not AI that was legitimately Brian Butterfield did people really think that was Brian we were having a conversation Or someone doing a conversation with Brian Butterfield. Or someone doing a good impression, if not AI, then yeah, I think some people weren't quite sure. He just wasn't on, the reason he wasn't on camera because obviously he didn't, he's on the road, he didn't have his makeup on. He's a, you know, he's a good businessman, but he's a bit, I don't want to say he's vain, but he's professional in a stage sense,

and he likes to have his bit of stage makeup on, and he didn't have his foundation with him. So he said, he didn't want to, oh, don't want to go a club, bro. But it was him. It 100% was him the entire time. Again, we'll talk about that later. And I have a folder on my desktop as the host, sorry, of the Zoom call. The folder's called Zoom. Inside there's a folder that says Vidiot X Butterfield.

And then there's audio record in that. And if I go in there, there's a audio recording for Audio Ben Potter, audio Michael Johnson, audio Peter, and Audio Peter Serafinovich, which I think it must be Brian's manager who, like, set it up for him or something. Yeah, it's like a roadie. So we guarantee that was real And we'll tell you the full story later I can't believe people really doubted that

This is an elaborate hoax isn't it I got a lot of work for 20 minutes of work About someone else's show Who wasn't even there Yeah I tell you what the anxiety before talking to him Was real Even if you think it was a hoax

We were very nervous So yeah Oh man We'll say more about that As we go I did just want to Before we get to the podcast and the things

I wanted to just tell you about something that happened to me last weekend before that isn't good enough on its own to be a thing but I thought hey I'll tell you about it can I find it on my phone yeah so I went to the Great North Run

a couple of weeks ago when it was on my sister ran in it she did a very good job but while we were so we were hanging around at the start line like ready to watch her go and some guy from local radio who as much the most I got was that I think his surname was

Robson I don't know what his first name was my god he was fascinating he was on like a speaker on the microphone I think I don't know if he was broadcasting as well I don't think he was he was just doing the actual sort of commentary at the start line but I wrote down some of the things he was saying every time someone with red hair went past

he'd be like oh a couple more gingers here the gingers are here so he'd be shouting about the ginger yeah um he uh someone went dressed as a lion because loads of people were doing like fun run stuff

and he suddenly went Nagze Venya Chitibu No he can't do that His name's Robson Robson I know

He said He was saying that everyone was Gan the Shields because the race ends at South Shields so that's where they were going

He said that he referred to someone who was running past the start line as Hungi and Chungi which is not a very flattering thing to say It's very rude

Come on And someone We passed with a turban on It was a Sikh person And he's like Oh no No No

No One of our fabulous Sikhs there One of our fabulous Sikhs Like Okay I mean it's a bit Partridge

And that he's drawing Attention Rather than being Inclusive But you know It's well intended Yeah Yeah

People had their names Written on their Numbers And he was going like Oh there's Deiv There's Sandra And then he went There's

Myo Mour I don't No, no, but I love a different name. I do. I love a different name. Is it Alan Robson? It could well have been.

English radio presenter and host of the Northeast Radio talk show, Alan Robson's Night Owls. Maybe. One of the worst things he did, though, was he was like, oh, does this guy here, he's doing a great job, he's even got a limp, he's got a limp? And I was thinking, is he injured this guy? Yeah, should we get help for him? Or is that, man, does he perhaps always have a limp, and he'll just try? drawing attention to it.

And then he goes, oh, wait, no, I'm terribly sorry. He's only got one leg. He's got one leg. He's like, oh, my God. Can you just check what you're saying before you just think before you open your mouth? But the reason I even started listening to what he was saying was that all the way through, every time someone ran past, he was seeing what charity they were running for.

But the way he was celebrating these charities, he was going and sort of mixed in with people's names as well. he was like, oh, there's Deve, there's Matthew, or Alzheimer's there, Alzheimer's, or kids with cancer, fantastic, fantastic. It was really, but just occasionally he would, in between people's names, he'd go, oh, brilliant, brilliant, Parkinson's disease, fantastic. It was, it was fantastic and to listen to as much as it was for him to see Parkinson's running past. So he's like peak local radio then? Yeah, and peak Alan Partridge.

Just everything he said was a faux par. And yet he did it with the most positive voice. And I thought, I should tell Poddietz about this. Yeah, I'm glad you did. To be, oh, to be his producer, or to be on the wall to see the producer just with their heads, their head in their hands. Yeah. Oh, no, he's not got a limp. He's only got one leg.

Sorry, but. Alan, Alan, stop it. Just be quiet. He can't comment on the physical characteristics of people out loud. And you also, as much as you're trying to be nice, please don't say it's one of our fabulous Sikhs. That does not seem like something you should just be saying through a microphone. If it is Alan Robson, he's in his late 60s,

and that's not to excuse it. Obviously, it's clearly really well-meaning, but he just shouldn't, you just shouldn't. Just shush, stop it. Kids with cancer fantastic. Fantastic. Not one of our shit seeks. Yeah.

I never, like, obviously, people, People go to the Great North run to watch and spectate the people, I guess, who they know who are in the run. But beyond like the minute where they pass, there's like, well, great. Now I'm just watching people's like jog past me. So I think actually, like he gave you a reason to stick around for a bit to see what he'd come out with next. He did. Well, we were waiting was that was what we were waiting for my sister to arrive. So that's why we were there.

But yeah, I could have, I could have stayed there all day and listened to him saying, I love a different knee in my door. I love a different name. Bunky chungy gingers. Shut up, Alan. Oh, brilliant. All that, all while that was going on, and Alan was doing his nonsense,

I was queuing very slowly through South Shields to get to the Tyne Tunnel so I could get home. Oh, dear. And I saw the helicopters go and past. I wish I could have heard Alan in that moment. Wish I could. Turns out I was in the wrong queue, the wrong fucking lane.

Oh, really? I was kidding for like 45 minutes. And then I got to the front of the queue and realized, oh, shit, this is the turning to not go through, the time tunnel. Oh, no. Yeah, so that was, at the end of a five-hour drive, that was like, that was just what I wanted.

Oh, my God. Alan. Alan, please. You colossal man. Stop it. Well, boys, shall we crack on? Let's, yeah. Yes.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Poddy. It's the official video. Podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. I just hit my hand off the desk in the attempt to point at the camera where you say, I can't remember what you said. I'm Michael. Hello. I'm here. You're okay? You're doing all right, Mikey. You were a bit frazzled last. time? Yeah, I'm, well, I wasn't frazzled, but now I've got, I've got a pearly hand now. I've worked it off my desk quite hard, but I'm less frazzled.

Oh, titanium, sheer titanium. Jesus. You've broken every bone in your hand. Heavy tables, but yes, I am, I am less sweaty. Actually, no, I've always, I always have a glisten to me, which is really great when I've got a big light in front of me, so enjoy it. Michael Sheen, if you will. Michael, oh, very good. Wow, I was very quick.

Jesus. That was lightning speed. I was ready. Chow. I was ready for that one. Peter, how are you doing? I'm all right. I've also injured myself five minutes before we hopped on the call. I walked into my door handle with my hip. So with such speed and right on the point so that everything was focused on a tiny area that I crumbled to the floor and I lay on the floor for a minute going, like that. But I'm all right. now but I'm going to have a real beauty of a bruise I think when it is it in your waistband so it's going to be pressed on or is it yeah it's right in my waistband um I thought for a minute in the sort of first few seconds afterwards I was like have I just like fractured my hip or something it was really really bad I was going quite fast and uh just right into the metal door that like immediately makes you feel really queasy and unwell yeah yeah it like knocked the wind out of me

in a way. Oh, God. The day of the poddiots. What's your injury, Ben? What are you done? What are you doing? What you want, Miss Chief, you got up to? Actually, I'm on the mend from a mystery injury. Maybe this is just what it's like to be in your 30s, but I woke up earlier this week.

And I felt like there's like a sharp pain in the ball of my right foot, the heel of my right foot. Oh. And I'm assuming maybe I managed to pull a muscle while sleeping. I don't know how, but it was uncomfortable to walk. walk and it's still a little twingey but it's getting better so you know i'm all right i'm being brave cycling thing no because i hadn't when i injured myself i think it was monday night and i hadn't cycled since thursday so there was no there was absolutely no reason for that um no idea but you know big brave boy you know we're all big big brave boys and we we muscle on well how can people help

pay for our medical bills even though we do live in a nation with um with healthcare not for much longer, fuck the Tories. Yes, if you want to help us out because Peter's going to need a new hip, Mikey's going to need a damp cloth. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I'm going to need... And a kiss on the hand would be nice. And a little kiss on the hand. And I'm going to need a big shoe, just a really big shoe. You can go to poddiots.com. That will redirect you to streamlabs. And if you donate three pounds or more there, you get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next show and you join Pod Squad. And we'll love you forever. We're really, really appreciate. appreciated it. It helps us do this flipping thing for you. And, you know, you don't have to,

obviously, there's no pressure, but it is an opportunity to submit a silly name or get your friend's name right out, something like that. Give back a little. You don't have to, but, you know, we love it when you do. Mikey, do you want to kick us off? I'd be delighted to. We begin with Viny Jones, the office grape. We're going straight. I need to give context to this, actually. So I assume this is someone who I saw Auntie Donner with. Oh, how was Auntie Donna? How was Auntie Donna? Auntie Donna was, yeah, very, very silly.

Oh my God. I was like in hysterics. Like, I hurt from laughing. Very good. Like to enjoy them. So much more improv than I expected. And it was just a magical experience. Yeah, really, really good.

This is a silly bit of context. But we had a wine and cheese night in the office a couple of weeks back. and we had an assortment of grapes on the table and I decided to befriend the smallest grape in the bunch like tiny tiny little grape so I decided to call him Viny Jones after Vinny Jones and so I put him in my pocket in my t-shirt pocket and I carry him about with him everywhere I go now and he's quite dry and shriveled somehow he might yeah he's become a raisin yeah he go yeah he's survived the wash quite well, so I'm going to see how long that keeps from in there. Yeah, I forgot about him and I put on the t-shirt. I was like, wait, Viny, Fini's still in there. Oh, my man.

My man. Thank you, Barney Jones, the office grip. We continue with Finn Tristham, raindrop joy, Fred found what? Lord would punch Mikey to Vic. Whoa. That was after me requesting being punched, so yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, good. Come cash me outside. Oh, yeah, you want to be punched? Have anything more punched you yet? Not yet, no, I'm trying to find. The table. I punched the table, thank you very much. I'm still on the hunt.

I'm waiting for the right fists to come around. I should just learn to keep my mouth shut. I don't have to say the things that are in my head, but apparently I'm composed to do so. We continue with Donak 07, Stephen Scoredes, dobbados pizzer. Thank you very much. We've also got potiots are here, time to wank.

Oh, God. Petit Bobetty, Petit Poistin, Ben Potato, My Collieflower, Peter Poir, two months juice cleanse, no poo, and anti-saxes. Anti-Saxes is very good. It is good, yeah. Finally, we have mandatory saxonations. I assume this is a riff on seeing the Hatman, after taking, what was it, what was the name of the thing, NightQuil?

Benadryl, okay, take Benadryl. Also, we did the, oh, sorry, yeah, I thought you meant the one you just said. It's because Mikey did the inventor of the sacks, but yeah, the one you're about to read. Take Benadryl to see Hatman, take PCP to see DBP. That's good, that's musical. Mr. Macca, the very, very, very generous Anna Silverstone, or Silverstone, who said, Hi guys, I'm the sister of Katty Karen who donated to you two episodes ago.

I just wanted to say thank you for your shout-out and the way your content has helped me through my recovery and helped me laugh through all this. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. I hope you're feeling better. Yeah, thank you very much. I hope you get in this. You're doing all right. And we've also got the equally very generous stiff bristles

who said, I know you boys love camel case but and in all caps with dashes between them. Did you know that this is called screaming kebab case? P.S. I love you. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Thank you very much. It's good to play a name to a font, a text, I don't know. Anyway, thank you, stiff bristles.

Thank you Pod Squad. That is your pod squad for this week. We'll shout them out again at the end of the show. Pottiats.com, three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. Do you guys have a favorite there? Oh, I laughed a lot at two months, juice, cleanse, no-who. Yeah, that was good. There's many good ones.

one are good yeah Peter Poir that's yeah that's it's very key I'm going to go for

Dobbeno's Pizzor yeah brand for this week's APP to see DBP is also very clever yeah that's another top notch one

I like it a lot of good good ones this week yeah good job team keep it up yeah good work everybody

keep donating every single time thank you I am podcast question boy this time so I went out

and found some things from you wonderful people and assigned them to Mikey and Peter and myself. Michael Johnson, would you like to start us off with your listener submitted thing? I would be absolutely delighted to. This is, this was submitted by Darius Owen Canning on Twitter at Darius Canning. This is a story from the Southern Daily Echo.

And the headline reads, Hampshire Wheeler bin found one, 1,200 miles away in Ukraine. Wow. This bin's more better travelled than me, my God. This is by Emily Liddle. Let's see what Emily has to say about a bin. A Hampshire wheelie bin has been found 1,200 miles away from home in Ukraine.

I like the idea of bins having homes. Yes. It's the next Pixar movie, isn't it? This bin trying to get home from Ukraine. Oh, please. That would be great. Oh, sorry, Emily, you're off to a bad start here. There's already an egregious typo.

Found close to the Polish border. Border spelled B-O-A-R-D-R. Come on. Come on. If you're going to write an article about a bin, at least do it properly. Found close to the Polish border, the bin from Test Valley Borough Council. Test Valley? Is that a real place?

What the fuck is England? T's Valle? No, Test. Test Valley. Oh, that's a, apparently that's a place. Surely. Yeah. Yeah.

It's got to be a place. So is there a river test? I think you've got that. Hmm. Okay. In brackets, it has TVBC in case you were curious. It was discovered by journalist Philip Krother. Philip, who works for the Associated Press news agency, took to Twitter to ask TVBC.

Oh, they've abbreviated it, so I don't have to say test valley borough council all the time. There is a river test. It flows through the Test Valley in Hampshire. Very good. That was the first one that God did when he was making the rivers. There's final, final, final valley. Philip, who works for the AP, took to Twitter to ask TVBC how the bin had ended up in the war-torn country. He said, hey, at Test Valley, BC, how did one of your wheelie bins make it all the way to Ukraine and when his pickup?

It's quite funny. The council, which covered Romsey, I assume Romsey's another borough. Yeah, Romsey's another place, replied, Hi, Philip, um, hmm, I've checked the notebook, but we don't seem to have a stock answer for this query. Can I ask where in Ukraine this is? I'd just like to make sure this collection address is added to our fortnightly rounds

and not reported is missed. Oh, that's fairly a bit of banzy. Very good. Councillor Nick Adams King said, it's good to see our bins are well-travelled and to hear that it's still in use for the border guard station between Ukraine and Poland.

Residents have been able to buy our bins for a number of years now. Get your TVBC store.com. Go get your bins now. It's always interesting to see where they end up, even if collection does prove to be a bit of a challenge. I'm afraid I can't promise we will be able to deliver a new blue bin

and food caddy to accompany it when we roll the new recycling system out. We love a little bit of bin banter, don't we? We do, bin to. And that's the article. So there's no answer. We don't know how it got there. We never will.

There's a bin in Ukraine. And I'm going to go to the comments because there's six there, and I bet there's some real corkaz in here. From Elwood, we have and the blight of entirely unnecessary and avoidable plastic pollution continues. Oh, good. That's great.

It's not really pollution if it's being used as a bin. Yeah, Jesus Christ, come on. Okay, that's a problematic comment. Thanks for that Sutton Craig. What did he say? Oh, wait, no, maybe it's not. I'm going to read it. It came across as problematic.

Maybe it's not. Okay. Some of those young attractive blondes that British married men know so much about seem capable of this sort of crime. What does that even mean? What? What does that mean? Has he commented on the wrong article? What?

What? What? What's he talking about? Is he suggesting that someone has stolen a bin from Hampshire and taken it to Ukraine? Some sort of blondes. And that even attractive young blondes could do it or something. The men know. What are you talking about?

His full name is Sutton Craig David Airport. Okay. Normal man. It's an unusual surname, but there are a few of them out there. There's two left. I'm going to go through them because he's actually quite fun. GSR says more chance of the bin getting emptied in Ukraine than back here. Oh, very good.

I like it. More binter. Very nice. And we finish on. What a pathetic story. Oh, I thought it was quite interesting. How rude. Get off, get over yourself.

Just the visual of a wheelie bin that's come from the UK and is currently in an active war zone is. Yeah. The auto fill on the address, like, completed the UK to Ukraine. I guess that's where the kerfuffle happened and they got sent all the way. Yeah, maybe. The United Cranedom. Perhaps it was, you know, when people were like voluntarily enlisting to go and fight in Ukraine, maybe the bin was like, you know what?

You might need some help with their refuse. I'm going to go. There it is. Yeah. I'm doing my part. Excellent. Thank you, Darius, Owen Canning, for that wonderful tale of a bin. A worldly bin.

Peter, would you like to do your thing? I would. Thank you. My thing I've been meaning to do for a couple of weeks now because it's almost getting a bit dated and no longer relevant. I do it every year. It is time, everyone, for the top 10 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe. it's that time again

delivered with the delivery that you expect from me each and every year so I've gone to iNews.co.com. because I was as well as looking for the 10 best I was looking for the 10 worst as well which sometimes seems to get published but not always

and I couldn't find a 10 worst this year but I've got the 10 best as voted by Dave the TV channel but also in this it has the previous winners which we will have covered in previous years but I've forgotten all of these jokes so you might want to hear some of the previous winners as well so anyway we'll do the top 10

from worst to best and believe me the number one is not good it never is well yeah most of the top 10 aren't good normally but Amy was asking me she sometimes says what are you doing on Pollyets today for your thing and I told her I'm doing the top 10 jokes and she said oh I saw the article for that a couple of weeks ago

she said have you seen what was number one I was like no not yet and she said it doesn't even make sense and she's right it doesn't so here we go number 10 my grandma describes herself as being in her twilight years which i love because they're great films okay i mean it makes sense yeah yeah it i mean that shouldn't be the credit of a joke if it makes sense that's not what jokes is part of what a joke is should make sense it doesn't land but you know it makes sense yeah i didn't even crack like a half smirk from that that's yeah cool Cool, good start, yep.

That's from Daniel Fox. The next one is from William Stone. Okay. Number nine. Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch. Right, again? Yeah, again. Makes sense.

What? Wait, I don't get it. Nationwide, the bank brand. Because when they opened their first one, they would have just had a single bank. Oh, oh, okay. I can picture sort of a really dry delivery on that as the audience slowly gets, works it out and there's a long pause and there's a ripple of laughter. But it's not like a, that's fucking hilarious that.

No. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. That's a decent one. Yeah, it's good. I like it. It's the best so far. It is. And it's better than the number one joke. I'll tell you that. Bennett Aaron is his joke. I assume his number eight. I entered the How Not to Surrender Competition and I won hands down.

Okay. That came out of a Christmas cracker, but pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. By the way, we're being so flagrantly critical of this. None of us could do this, to be clear. However, as enjoyers of humour, I think we can still judge the jokes based on how funny. We can. Yeah. As a man who laughs at quite literally anything, I'm using that as a benchmark. Like, if I laugh at it. the Johnsonometer, that's the question. It's getting a resounding zero decibels on the loud scale. How loud can Mikey laugh? Yeah. Number seven comes from Roger Swift. My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals.

He's costophobic. What? Is that meant to be claustrophobic? Yeah, that's the joke. He got locked in a Costa, so now he goes to Starbucks. Okay. Did the joke lead in say that he was locked in a Costa? He was locked in a coffee place overnight.

Just a coffee place, okay. Yeah. No, I don't like that one. Number six is from Frank Lavender, which is not a real name. How do celiac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag. I like that. Yeah, that's good.

That's a good one. That's fun. That's fun wordplay. It's especially funny because my German aunt is celiac. So next time I see her, I can do that. And she'll say, no, Peter, it's Guten Tug. Yeah. Germans famously quite good with their sense of humour,

so I'm sure I'll go down very well. Number five comes from Masai Graham, who says, I thought I'd start off with a joke about the Titanic, just to break the eyes. Okay. Yeah, it's a bit done that one. I've heard that someone started a speech once at our school, which was, before I get started with my seminar,

or whatever it was, my speech, can I just ask you, is anyone know how much a polar bear ways? And there's just silence, anyway, enough to break the ice. Enough to break the ice, yeah. And no one left. No one laughed. Okay. If anything, the room grew colder.

Oh, no. The next one is number four. from Sikisa, I'm saying that right, when women gossip, we get called bitchy, but when men do it, it's called a podcast. Oh. Oh, oh. All right.

It's not just because we're doing a podcast, but that feels a bit mean. Yeah, I mean, like, are all podcasts bitchy? I don't think podcasts are strictly... I mean, we are literally judging people's work in this particular. We are now. We're being really bitchy, but, uh, Normally, I don't think we are necessarily.

Yeah, yeah, perfect timing. I'll give them credit. That landed in the perfect spot. That was entirely their intention as well. Fair enough. Hashtag not all men, am I right? Hashtag not all podcasts. That's usually how that's used, yeah.

Yeah. Number three comes from Amos Gill, who says, last year I had a great joke about inflation, but it's hardly worth it now. It got an exhale. Yeah? Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like, yeah, inflation's bad. The economy is bad, but the economy's always bad. That joke isn't necessarily relevant right now. It's always relevant. It's always being relevant. The next one's not a joke so much as it's not like something that's been written.

This is almost an observation, if it's true. It's quite good, but it doesn't read like a joke. But number two comes from Liz Gutterbock, who says, the most British thing I've ever heard was a lady who said, Well, I'm sorry, but I don't apologize. See, like, I can picture that in a well-written bit of, like, observational comedy, but it's not, it shouldn't be amongst these other jokes, really. It's not like a one-liner. And you've saved the best till last, right?

The best till last, number one, comes from Lorna Rose Treen. She won the Dave's funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe, 2023 award with this joke that definitely makes sense. I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah. That's... Why is it a zookeeper? Why didn't she say I started dating a leopard or a lion or something? Because then at least... A big cat.

Yeah. If it turned out he was a cheetah, it's like, oh, I got confused because I thought it was a leopard, but it's a cheetah. I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheater. I mean, I suppose it's not bestiality this way. but it does imply bestiality with the word... Well, it's unintentional bestiality rather than voluntary, yeah, I guess, but... I don't know. Again, that one feels like something you'd read on a penguin bar.

Yeah. That's literally just a reworded Christmas Cracker Jewel. Yeah, except it would be about, like, being in a running race or something. Turned out, he was a cheater or something. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow. Spectacular, as always.

A room full of people rolling about, like, laughing and the representative from Dave going, I think we've got it, writing it down. We want that and we also want six seasons of roughly 1997 to 2003 Top Gear. That's what

we're running with now on day. A few, just a handful of ones from previous years, 2022 was I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta. Okay. Yeah. It's all right. Yeah.

right. Olaf falafel. I keep randomly shouting out broccoli and cauliflower. I think I might have florets. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, sure.

And I'll pick one from some years ago because actually those two I will have obviously covered in previous podcasts, but here's one that we won't have done. Hedgehogs, why can't they just share the hedge? Good. Yeah.

That doesn't hurt anyone. That's nice. Yeah. And a timbrex. Vine one. I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again. Yeah. Again, makes sense. Makes sense. Oh, and here's, actually, I will do that. I sort of quite like this one. This might be, I think, the funniest joke in the article. It's still, it's a groaner, but Nick Helm in 2011 won with

I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Yeah. No? Not for you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay. This is a, this must be such a hard thing for you to bring along, Peter, because it's just like you're, this is your thing and your response is, yeah.

I mean, it's tradition. It's like you're the one who's bombing on stage. Yeah. Yeah. It's not even your material. I do feel that's, you know, I feel like at least I'm naming and shaming these people. So, no, it's, uh, it happens every year. People come to expect it.

The number of people who've tweeted me over the past two or three weeks saying, oh, don't forget to do the best jokes of the fringe this year. So people want to hear it. They want to hear the dead air on our bitchy podcast. It's not a bitchy podcast. It's just a podcast. It's just a podcast. It's called when men.

That's right. It's not bitchy. Yeah. So there we go. That's another 10 cracking jokes for another year. Fantastic. I'll see you again next September. more like Christmas crappers.

Whoa. I'm all right. I'm all right. You could win with that joke next year. Probably could. Yeah. Yeah, okay, let's go. All right, get me on, get me in the fucking fringe. Yeah, wonderful. I do enjoy it. I think is one of my favorite regular, reoccurring things. It's not how out of touch I am, really.

And what should be funny rather than, you know, like a fucked up meme of, like a strange looking squirrel and then a strange font, like stretched sideways slightly that just has a word that's misspelled and apparently that's what I find funny. Yeah, I'm with you. Brilliant. Thank you, Peter. You're very welcome. It's time now for my listener-submitted thing.

This comes courtesy of Christian Sturt and Jarrett Button. Thank you very much to both of you on Twitter. We turn to the Metro. Wrestlers brawl on packed Japanese bullet train as wild fight spills down middle aisle. This is written by Alice. McGeorge. Two hard-hitting professional wrestlers

swapped the ring for the rail on a super-fast Japanese bullet train. Veterans Minoro Suzuki and Sanjiro Takagi fought for around half an hour in a wild match in a very tight space as part of an unusual event organized by DDT Pro Wrestling. According to JR Central,

all 75 seats sold out within 30 minutes of the bout, which was held on the 180 miles per hour Nizomi Shinkansen bullet train between Tokyo and Nagoya on Monday. The duo locked each other in chokeholds and flipped each other down the aisle, which, when we're censoring each other at Triple Jump, means fucked. And fucked each other down the aisle as delighted onlookers filmed the action and cheered on the stars. The promotion, which is known for its innovative and often over-the-top bouts, has previously held matches in unusual locations, including a bookshop and a campsite.

This time, DDT hired out the entire carriage for the clash, which saw Suzuki emerge victorious. Do you want to see someone being piled driven in the middle of a train? Definitely. Yes, please. You can put this on the dump as well. Get a load of these boys. Oh my God.

That's stunning. That's great. That is, like I had a picture of it, but yes, that is absolutely incredible. I'm all for this. It's so good. That's a guy on the left sitting in the chair is loving it. It's just having the best time of his life. Here's another one where someone's about to eat an elbow.

Oh, look that. Bam. Amazing. They're both sort of smiling, it looks like, the wrestlers. They're really enjoying themselves as well. There were plenty of cameos from other big names in Japanese wrestling, including the legendary Kenta Kabashi, regarded by many as one of the greatest of all time. It was a very different kind of role for him here, though,

as he popped up as a train conductor, hilariously interrupting the match to check some tickets. Naturally, the wrestlers weren't allowed to actually cause any damage to the interior, but they made the most of the environment, and some fans even stayed on the train for a more peaceful return journey. This actually looks like a badass match, wrote one fan on X, formerly Twitter,

just Twitter, as clip to the match started to catch people's eyes. Well, another quipped, imagine just trying to get to work, and this is going on, lol. Man, the penalty for not having a ticket is a bit harsh, joked a third fan. Very good. And someone summed it up perfectly, as they wrote,

This is why I love wrestling. Suzuki, who has also appeared for the likes of All Elite Wrestling, has a reputation for both the physical and silly sides of wrestling and another fan said that's one of 893 reasons why Suzuki is the best

so there we are I've never seen any DDT pro wrestling but I've heard of their exploits I'm not sure if it's them or a different promotion I'm sure I'm going to get a million wrestling nerds

that are going to come at me now on Twitter politely hopefully but one of them has a blow-up doll on their roster and this doll has

one champion chips. Oh, I've seen footage of that. If you can see footage of this, it's got a name. I can remember what it is. If you can find footage of this doll in a wrestling match, it really just highlights what incredible athletes these wrestlers are, because they're basically just flipping around and making it look like the doll is doing wrestling moves on them. And it's absolutely incredible. Very impressive. So, yeah, there we are. There it is. There's the doll. It's such a good doll as well. Can we find out the name? Oh, it's so blanky-looking.

Yoshihiko, by the looks of it. Yeah, Yoshi-Hiko. It's such a small image as well. Yoshi-Hikai is an inflatable sex style that wrestles for the Japanese wrestling promotion dramatic dream team, otherwise known as DDT. Other wrestlers treat Yoshihiko as if it was an actual human wrestler and sell the moves, mostly high-flying maneuvers,

executed by Yoshihiko. For some moves such as outside dives, Yoshihiko is helped by one or more assistants, who throw him from the ring place his feet on the ropes and so on. Yoshi Hiko's opponents act as if these assistants are not present during the match. In that photo, is he being held up by a stick

behind him, someone holding a pole? I don't know. Oh no. The original Yoshihiko was killed during a match by an Antonio Honda knee drop which caused his head to burst over. Oh, God. I've pulled up

Yoshihiko's like wrestling database with all these stats and statistics apparently they were born on December 25th 2004 Oh Christmas present Yeah

They've been in 62 matches And have lost Ev No I'm looking through It's mostly defeat But there was one draw Wow

I want Oh my God So this article I'm looking at says that Yoshi Hiko was born on Christmas Day 2004 and then made his wrestling debut the following February two months later. But his, this, I've got to read you this, because this is the section titled Professional Wrestling Career

on pro-wrestling.fandom.com. The second Yoshi Hiro was another love doll. This one modified to resemble the great muter. The second Yoshihiko also met an untimely demise when a giant swing delivered by Kenny Omega sent Yoshihiko flying from the ring, splitting his head open and revealing the cotton stuffing within. During that very same match, the third Yoshihiko made his debut.

This Yoshihiko wore clothes similar to The Undertaker during his American Badass gimmick and entered to the same entrance music that the Undertaker had used. Then there's a sentence that just says, this version of Yoshihiko was later shot to death by Antonio Honda. I want to see that clip. I want to see the clip where the doll is shot to death. Was the implication, I mean, my wrestling knowledge, is not great but it was the implication that he was he was the second one was killed and then he

immediately came back to life because wasn't the undertaker sort of semi undead or something at one point or got out of a coffin i don't really know but i'm not i'm not sure it's just yeah maybe not but amazing wow but there we are wow what a what a colorful wrestling hey what fun and listeners should try and find some footage of uh of a yoshi he match because it is very clever. I mean, I'm not at all interesting, but watching someone on their own, effectively, in a ring get beaten up is, I mean, it's clever. You have to be, you have to be good at what you do. Make it look entertaining. You certainly do. Michael Johnson, would you like to do your thing? I would be delighted to. I have a tale of really committing to the

bit. This is the story of a Japanese soldier who continued fighting world. War II, a full 29 years after the Japanese surrendered, because he didn't know the war was over. That's real commitment to the bit. Oh, my God. So, hero by name, but not really by nature. Hero Onoda joined the Japanese army when he was 20 years old. And he was chosen, very luckily, to be trained as an Imperial Army intelligence officer. So not just your normal pawn in the army.

this was like he was getting in deep and doing some covert espionage shit that's that's that's army that's army oh god's hell I'm coughing that's arm that's army um he was chosen to be trained in this specialized military intelligence training he was specifically taught methods of gathering intelligence and how to conduct guerrilla warfare he was being groomed to go in behind emily and emily emily did you go to school with her out Emily lines I'm going to stick to it

and be left with a small pocket of soldiers to make life miserable for Japan's enemies and gather intelligence in the process which actually I mean I'm saying

that sounds fun in the context of war making someone's life miserable is not a good thing so it's not like he was putting tax on people's chairs and making a hurt a bit

being a rotten rotten boy so On December 26th, 1944, an order was sent to Lubang Island in the Philippines. His orders from his commanding officers were simple. You are absolutely forbidden to die by your own hand. It may take three years. It may take five.

But whatever happens, we'll come back for you. Put a pin in that. Until then, so long as you have one soldier, you are to continue to lead him. You may have to live on coconuts, if that's the case, live on coconuts. Under no circumstances are you to give up your life voluntarily? So that's quite an imposing set of demands, but he took on the job and boy, he really, really, really did his job well. So yeah, he got to the island, linked up with a couple of soldiers that were already there. And shortly there, after the island was almost entirely overrun by enemy troops.

and when other officers that were given Oh, I've done a jumble of words here That doesn't make sense So when the island, I'm going to try and fill in the blanks here Use my brain When the island was overrun by enemy troops Yeah You can do it

Oh, that's it, yeah Yeah, so basically some troops Already there kind of didn't want to go along with the plan The plan was to like while they were there destroy the harbour and the airfield among other things but they were like nah i'm not doing this like there's too many people here so that they fled and so already numbers were dwindling in this fleet the soldiers split into small the remaining soldiers split into small groups but most of these small groups were quickly killed off oh sorry oh bless them a noders group luckily were not they

continued to use guerrilla warfare tactics to harass the enemy troops as best they could while strictly rationing supplies as well as doing raids on local farms when they could manage it. In October, 1945, they came across a leaflet from the local islanders to them saying, The war ended August 15th, come down from the mountains. The group discussed this leaflet extensively, but eventually decided it was allied propaganda, because they felt that there was no way Japan could have lost so quickly since the time they were deployed.

This is how long into it? Yeah, this is one year into it. Oh, boy, of 29 years. Oh, there's a lot of coconuts. There's a lot of nuts. Eventually, near the end of the same year, local islanders fed up with being shot at and raided. So, yeah, for context,

so they were here to harass the troops on the island. The enemy troops fled. And so now this little small troop of soldiers were just shooting at civilians who lived on the island. 29 years of war crimes. Yes. Yes. And then the local islanders somehow managed to rustle together a Boeing B-17 and

dropped leaflets all over the jungle. So good going there, making an effort. Please stop shooting us. Please read our leaflets. These leaflets had the order to surrender printed on them from General Yamashis. And in the end, but in the end, after again much deliberation, the wording on the leaflets pertaining to the method with which they would be sent back to Japan seemed fishy to them, largely because the wording made it seem as if Japan had lost something they couldn't fathom. So when this didn't look work, more leaflets were dropped with newspapers from Japan, photographs and letters from the actual soldiers' families were included in the package. So they went to full mile

Like please God get these guys out of here Delegates from Japan Were sent to go through the jungle Speaking over loudspeakers Begging the soldiers to give themselves up But still they believed it was all just an elaborate hoax And then yeah They'd put it on for 10 more years after that

Two of the soldiers were killed in that time Which left two remaining And so for 17 years These two men live in the jungle, continuing to gather intelligence and attacking the quote-unquote enemy troops when they could risk it. After all, remember, their orders were to stay put and do as they had done until their commanding officer came and got them. And they promised, and they promised, you don't go back on a promise. And towards the end of the stint, 27 years in, the other remaining soldier

was sadly killed during a fight with a Filipino patrol. I say sadly, I don't know. This is ambiguous. I don't think these are bad people. Don't think they're good people. It's just a weird, weird. Confused paranoid people, I think, as much as anything else. But yeah.

Yeah. And at this point, the Japanese had just kind of thought they had all already died and they didn't think they would survive 27 years so long in the jungle. Yeah, I mean, fair enough. Yeah. And then obviously with this soldier being killed, they like the body was returned and they were like oh they're still there we wonder if on order's still there we should send out a search party um so a search party was sent out

but after 27 years of practice hiding in the jungle they couldn't find him the new year's out there somewhere until finally in 1974 a college student decided to travel the world. Among his list of things to do on his journey was to find a panda, cute, the abominable snowman, and Onoda. Right. The big three, he called. Just as rare as each other. Yeah. He traveled to the island and trekked through the jungle, searching for signs of Anoda. Shockingly, where literally thousands of others through the last 29 years had failed, this person succeeded.

And so immediately they got in touch with the general in Japan who initially gave out these orders, who is now working at a bookstore, and they told him, hey, you need to tell this man to, you need to give this man permission to go. He's not giving up, please travel there. And so his general traveled to the island,

talked to an order, and told him to surrender his weapons and give up. And yeah, as you might expect, after living in the jungle, doing what he thought was his duty, helping Japan, and now only realizing he wasted 29 years of his life and worse, killing and injuring innocent civilians, this became, this was a crushing blow to an odor, and his words were, we really lost the war? How could they have been so sloppy? Suddenly, everything went black. A storm raged inside me. I felt like a fool for having been so tense and cautious on the way here. Worse than that, what had I been doing for all these years? Oh boy, yeah, much to think about. Had circumstances been different and the war really had waged on so long, soldiers and people from both sides of the fight would have respected him for his courage and dedication, maybe.

In that respect, he was more of a hero. However, the world wasn't the way he thought. And in the end, in retrospect, he was more of a fool than anything else. quite scathing words from the article there I think Anode is still alive as well actually He's still out there I think he did pay a visit to the island After he returned to Japan

But obviously they weren't really happy about that Because he'd spent nearly 30 years shooting at them So yeah You tried to make peace but they weren't too happy about it That's interesting I've heard a very abridged version of that That was literally just In 1944

A soldier was sent to the the jungles in the Philippines and he refused to give up when he was told the war was over and they had to dig out the general who sent him out there to begin with and that was the only way he would believe it but I didn't know about like they'd been sending like letters from his family in there and like you know trekking into the jungle to find him and he's not the only person when I was because I misheard his name when you started this this thing Mikey and so I just Googled very generally World War II Japanese soldier

stayed on island and there's a story about another man who did a similar thing. What? Oh my God. Well there are sort of urban legends that I think are based partially in fact as well about submarines from World War II and like

U-boats and stuff that were like underwater for very long periods of time and not for 27 years but they were underwater and kind of on active patrol for much longer than after the war ended and then eventually they sort of realized oh okay we can give up now yeah rough but yeah so um if if you're ever in this situation and someone promises that don't give up until i come back maybe after five years i think that's a free

pass to go home especially when you're getting letters and photos from your family but um yeah that's that's quite a harrowing tale my god So thank you for you. Thank you, Mikey. Yes, thank you very much. Peter, would you like to do your listener-submitted thing? I would. I think this was sent. We may have had more than one write-up for this, but the one that I have got is from Oscar X-ray at Oscar X-ray,

spelled with various letters and numbers on Twitter. This is according to the Daily Record.com.com. at UK, Scott left stunned after Lewis Capaldi's face appears in bag of chips. Oh, I'm excited to hear how they drag this out over a thousand words. Let's go. That's it. That's where we chose this writer. A Scott has been left stunned after finding Lewis Capaldi's face in his bag of chips is the first line of the article, which is almost verbatim what the headline was. Andrew Thompson, 34, couldn't believe his eyes when he unwrapped his food

to find the someone you loved singer staring back at him. The estate agent headed along to the hippie-chippy on Broomland Street in Paisley. Hiffy-chippy, sorry, there's one in Bristol and it absolutely slaps. Oh, really? Yeah, it's very good. Triple-cooked chips, man. Wow. Oh, yeah.

He went to the hippie-chippy on Brumlin Street. pays Lee for his lunch on Wednesday afternoon before he made the discovery. The Greece, there's a photo then of the, I've got to send it. If you've not seen this already, I saw this on Twitter when it happened. Hang on.

Here you go, Mikey. It's pretty good. What? Yeah, actually. Wait, what? What? That's uncanny. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?

Oh, that's actually quite unsettling, yeah. The caption to that image is the grease had formed in such a way to create an image of Capaldi. After getting back to his office, he opened up his chips and sent a picture of his mail to his partner. It wasn't until he looked at the picture on his phone

that he noticed the patches of grease on his chippy paper had formed in a way that bears a striking resemblance to the West Lothian star. I've said that right. Laudian, I don't know. Andrew from Paisley told the record, I got back to the office,

opened up my steaming chips and added red sauce then I took a photograph of my lunch for my misses and that's when I noticed it I couldn't believe it it was Louis Capaldi's face the first thing I did was take a bunch of photographs then I showed a few mates around the office

and they were in hysterics they've then also enclosed an image of Lewis Capaldi just so we all know what he looks like there it is same guy wait no those that like those two are like Wait, no, those are the same photo, but one's just greased.

No, this has to be photoshopped. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. I wonder if it's photoshopped, but apparently there's physical evidence. He kept the paper. Yeah, he did. Pictures of Andrew's bag of chips show an image in the wrapper, which appears to be an uncanny likeness of Capaldi's face

with eyes, nose and mouth perfectly positioned. Oh, there's then a very tastefully done photo where it's just paper. face, very well composed. Andrew, who is a huge fan of the singer, now hopes to get the rapper framed and sent out to the star. So it must exist. He added, I just thought it was great. I'm a huge fan of Capaldi.

He's a funny chap, and I would love him to see this. I know he's having a hard time lately, and he's taking a break. But if he ever does see this, I hope it will cheer him up. I'm hoping the image stays on the paper, so I can frame it and try to send it to him. If you're reading this, Lewis, drop us a message and I'll send you your face in a bag of chit. Well, there we go.

That's that story. I'm a bit annoyed actually because I opened this article earlier. Oh, here it is. Oh, good. Okay, hang on. I opened this earlier and there was a terrible, like, spam advert. You know where they pretend it's another article, but it's really just a sponsored thing.

This, this is funnier than the entire article. Look at this. Three toxic foods for dogs, the one meat you should never feed your dog. But the photo they have chosen is horrendous. It's quite a sultry, um, all of a dog, especially with the caption. Yeah, the one meat you should never feed your dog. Is it a dog's ass by any chance? Yes.

Oh, wow. I've sent it in, uh, In videos. That is, God bless modern journalism. So good. Love the internet. Love it. So check the thread for a chip, paper, Capaldi, and for a creepy photo of a dog looking.

I'm reluctant to say sexy, but suggestive. Suggestive, yes, yes. That's it. That's the phrase. Well, thank you very much, Peter. Thank you. That was sent by a couple of people. That was Tom Monk and Austin.

Oscar X-ray on Twitter who sent that one in so thank you right well it's time for my thing and it's the Butterfield special as promised so firstly we want to say a huge thank you to Tom Campbell

of Coultholic and BBC Radio Newcastle fame who absolutely went above and beyond to hook us up with this chat with Brian because he chatted to Brian on BBC Radio Newcastle to promote the Whitley Bay show and

they then asked if they could come back on again and promote it again and Tom said well can't really do that but chat with these guys and these guys could you know give you some some more promotion and through that I was emailing Brian's manager back and forth and we eventually agreed upon the date and we're all very nervous about what we're going to talk I'm sorry so that's how it started they wanted to go on the BBC and then they got shifted to us. To be fair, they'd already been on. Yeah. Yeah. So we're the next best thing is what I'm hearing. Yeah. There you go. Stick that on the poster. The next best thing. So yes, lots of emailing back and forth. We knew we'd only have about 15 minutes with him. It was just going

to be audio. We sent over some questions for approval. If you've listened to it, you'll know that it kind of ends prematurely and a bit strangely. We didn't get to go through all of our questions. but partly it was because Brian sort of went off in directions we were not expecting. So we were just, it would be rude to cut him off. But yes, the time came. We're in the Zoom call. We added him in. Is this the point where we stopped pretending that Brian is a real person and just...

Sure. I think we can. So Peter Serafinovich was in the chat and his name was listed as Peter Serafinovich. And then he hopped him, but he wasn't making any sound. So I said, hi Peter, and then Mikey said, you might be on mute. At which point, Brian Butterfield unmutes, and that's where the interview starts. We don't talk to Peter Serafinovich at all. It's just Brian Butterfield for 18 minutes.

Yeah. Like, I can't believe we were talking to Peter Serafinovich, but not talking to Peter Serafinovich. Like, before the call, we had a little anxious, like, huddle. Like, everyone's scared, yep, yep, yep. And like, well, we'll do like a couple of minutes of chat beforehand, then we'll get into it. and kind of get a lay of, you know, how we're going to navigate this. Nope. So, like, I think you probably see on our faces, we're all kind of taking it back.

Like, that was just genuine, like, oh, okay, it was starting. Good. Okay, let's go. Well, because he ends up having to sort of start the interview because we're almost, like, lost for words. And he says, so, have you stayed in a butterfield hotel before? Like, I felt like such a bad interview out. I was like, oh, God, he's having to make conversation here.

But, yeah, because when Tom from, uh, Radio Newcastle spoke to him. He spoke to Peter Serafinovitz, both in the interview. First, you were speaking to Peter, and then Brian arrived in the background, and they swapped over. But also before and after,

he just chatted to Peter a bit, like out of character, I believe, you know, when they weren't on air. But in our case, no, basically, apart from Ben saying, hi, Peter, you have heard the entirety of our conversation with Peter slash Brian.

That was it. And, you know, the chat went great, obviously. He gave us some great lines. He was, he seemed quite noticeably distracted throughout, to the point that it led up to where he sort of excused himself. Now, we've all discussed after the fact, maybe we went on too long or maybe we did something wrong. I think we know that that's probably not the case.

but he did suddenly excuse himself and it was like okay we didn't get through our questions uh hope we haven't annoyed peter so you didn't get to your question ben yours was a good question as well ben i mean they're all good questions but yours was yours was it would have given a lot to play with yeah i was going to ask him about the buttatendo uh sports well sports console we uh we do know that he's been traveling that day i imagine to the next venue of the show um because we'd arrange for it to be at a certain time and then we heard from his manager, when we say his manager, we're not talking about Peter Serafayevich, we're talking about someone else who also works with Peter.

And yeah, they said, oh, can we push it back a bit? And then they pushed it again by another sort of five, ten minutes and said, sorry, we've had like, you know, the travel's been really difficult today. So I imagine they probably only just arrived at like either the hotel or maybe even the venue where he was doing the show that evening. And so he may have literally had to go to go and sort of start getting ready for his show. or someone was calling him because he had just arrived and he was aware that they delayed this interview by like an hour and a half and yeah obviously we're immensely grateful

and it was an honor to talk to him extremely surreal shame we couldn't finish up the interview the way we wanted we did send over the questions in advance but he still seemed a little bewildered by them so I think one of you suggested that maybe he didn't even had the chance to look at them yet because they I just sounds like the touring has been a bit hellish for them because they've been all over the place. Have you been this week? And also wearing a fat suit all the time, sweaty, sweaty, sweaty. Absolutely.

I just, I feel like there's a deep sense of dread in me that we caused Peter Serafinovich mild inconvenience by him being part of his call. To Brian Butterfield slash Peter. I don't want that. But, you know, we, Peter and I were going to go and see him in Whitley Bay or Gravee Bay, as he said. grab it right and personal automatic personal automatic

I didn't appreciate that in the moment but like on my cycle to work this morning I was muttering that to myself over and over again I thought that's what he said as well but I was like that's why I said clarification what does that mean what does that mean

yeah obviously a huge honour to talk to him and we have now ticked off Dick and Dom and Brian Butterfield so we're running out of people now we need to ticked off as and pissed them off. Yeah, we're actively concerned that we've annoyed them now. So that's another one.

And then, God, what else have we got? Then we went to the show, I suppose. That was the next thing. So myself, Peter, James and Kieran from Triple Jump, we all went down to see the show. The Venn diagram of fans of Brian Butterfield and people who view Triple Jump slash idiots, there's quite a lot of overlap, it turns out.

So if you said hello to us, it was lovely to meet you. Thank you for being so nice. We met about four different people. There was someone sitting behind us who we didn't notice until we got up for the interval, had a VS1 hoodie on. No way. Yeah. And then when we came to sit back down, I said, nice hoodie.

And then we chatted for a few minutes. So hello to you if you're listening. And all his friends apparently listen as well to the podcast, but only just recently. And he discovered Brian Butterfield through us. Oh, wow. There we go. Amazing. Hey, look, we're selling tickets.

We're selling tickets. We are. The promotion worked. The venue was full. It looked pretty sold out to us. So that was, you know, we did that. All thanks to us. It was just us.

But without going into spoilers, the show was fantastic and like really good. It's presented as a business seminar. There's lots of pre-recorded clips. It's great fun. There's a few moments of audience participation. And we were a bit worried after our experience with Dick and Dom that it might, it might attract a lot of those fans, you know, the ones who try and make it about themselves and start, you know, oh, it's my turn to like do a bit with Brian when Brian just wants to get on with

the show and everyone to just do their roles. Fortunately, there was only one of those and they were a little bit unbearable, but apart from that, everything went swimmingly. We did put our hands up to go on stage at one point and he wanted several people on stage, which is why Peter said, you know what, fuck it, I'll do it. And I said, well, it'll be something for potty so I put my hands up as well. That's why I did it. And he looked straight at us, but maybe we're in a blind spot of the theatre, but he just picked people from sort of the central area,

and we had our hands up for ages. And he kept saying, anyone, anyone else? And we didn't get paid. He was really scratching around. He was like desperate to find people. And apparently the same happened with Tom as well. Tom said he had his hand up. I think that when you've got the lights on you on the stage,

like if you're off in the sort of the periphery of the audience, because we were off to the side. So I think you just couldn't see us. Yeah, absolutely. so yes the show was magnificent you will you will enjoy it Mikey when you see it next week and we look forward to discussing it with you and seeing how you got on was he was he was he was he was he was he selling bomb bomb bomb yes so the the merch stand was surprisingly good I bought myself a butter t-shirt which is shockingly close to the Nintendo logo so much so

that I don't think anyone should tell Nintendo because Brian might be in trouble they were also selling bags of bonbon bon bonbons there were tote bags with sort of like a checklist of all the treats you can get for treat day there were Butterfield Hotel monogrammed slippers and there was was the only other thing the diploma Peter yeah I'll grab it it's just here actually show it to the camera

oh it's beautiful it's so beautiful look at it yeah the boys can't see it but this is what it looks like if it will focus. So the merch seller will sign it for you and you're basically paying for this diploma, which is actually quite nice quality paper and print. And then part of this is that Brian will then sign it in person with you. So it's effectively a ticket for the meet and greet

is to buy one of these things. Yeah. So we did the meet and greet, didn't we then? We did, yes. So there was just this big queue that formed after the show. And Tom had said to us beforehand that he, had a verbal agreement with Peter Serafinovich that he should come say hi after the show and he had his contact details as well so Tom sent him a message and said hi Peter you know I'm here

would be great to say hi but obviously Brian Butterfield was being like funneled directly out to do all these photos and meet and greet things for people who bought the diploma and Tom had also said to us look when I go and see him just come with me and I'd brought my copy of Dark So too with me because Peter Serafinovich does a voice in that game and is a fan of Dark Souls. So when we were in the, when we were looking at the queue, like, oh my God, is this, is this the queue? Tom was in it and Tom is the most confident man in the world. And so if anyone was going to meet Brian Butterfield without purchasing a diploma, because no one was checking if anyone had a diploma in that queue, it was going to be Tom. And Tom was like, no, I'll be fine. You know,

I've already spoken to him, and I think that, you know, his manager is the one taking the photo. So, like, it'll be all right. It'll be all right. You should do. Do you want to hop in with us? And I was like, absolutely not, because that would be pushing in front of people. And that's really rude. I'm not going to do that.

And he said, well, you know, go join the queue. Go join the queue. It'll be fine. And I was thinking, I don't know that I need to do that. Like, I feel a bit apprehensive about taking the piss. And also, what if he doesn't remember? And I don't have a diploma. And also, I did talk to him for like 20 minutes the other day.

That's pretty cool. I don't need this as well. And did we piss him off? Did we piss him off? Yeah. Oh, it's you boys. Yes, he breaks character and swears it. So in the end, I decided to just very selfishly weaponise Tom's confidence.

Confidence. And just gave him my thing and said, listen, I'm not sure about doing this. If you take this Sharpie and this sleeve of my video game, would you get him to sign it? He was like, do you want him to sign it as Peter O'Brien? I was like, honestly, I don't mind. it's it's the same thing it'll all be good it's like okay okay and then we're standing off to the side

me James and Kieran while Peter joins the queue and he's like all the way snaking around this corner in this massive queue and then Tom was in the queue with someone else a lot further up near the front at this point and he comes over to me and says that's uh that is his manager

taking the photos so it's going to be absolutely fine you join the queue and I was like oh man I don't know he's like no no no it's going to be okay listen if I go and do it and I come back, you'll know it's fine, so you need to do it. And I was like, sure, okay, but I was just sort of paying lip service. I was just, you know, I wasn't rude, I still wasn't sure about doing it. So then Tom comes back and it's signed, he's got the signed Dark Souls 2 copy.

And it says, he's signed it as Peter Serafinovich. And then in quotes underneath, he's put, ah, which I assume is a death sound in Dark Souls 2. I don't really know. And he said, oh, I told Brian, you're coming and I was like oh fuck he's like yeah yeah I said that the videots were here and he said oh the who and he said yeah yeah you know he's going to be disappointed if you don't come and I was like oh so then Tom went off and I turned to James and Curran said do you want to meet him I said yeah go on then so at this point no one else was joining the queue so we went to

the very back and I didn't feel like I was taking the piss as much none of us had a diploma but you know we were at the back and apparently he remembered who we were at which point Peter left his point in the queue and came back and joined us. We all cued up. And then when we got to the front, we met him. It was clearly very hot. We were the very last people in the whole foyer at that point. Yes, everyone else had gone home.

We were the last people. And it was obviously super warm. He must have been exhausted. His face prosthetics were peeling off his face. Oh, man. And I said, hi, Brian. I'm Ben. We spoke on Sunday.

And he went, oh, podiots. And I said, yeah, yeah, that's it. And he goes, of course. Gravy Bay. Of course. And he just, he calls back to Gravy Bay from our chat. Oh my God. He doesn't hate us.

He doesn't hate us. And that quote, of course. Gravy Bay has just been, Peter and I have just been saying it to each other all day. Because just the inflection. There's so much relief attached to it. And the way he says it, it's like, it's just become a shorthand for like, basically saying yes or of course just. Gravy Bay. No.

Gravy Bay. So he stayed in character the entire time again. We still didn't get to talk to Peter, but he took a photo with all of us. And then we went, so we got a photo, we got to chat with him. He signed my copy of Dark Souls, and we interviewed him. We spoke to him twice in the course of a couple of days. Spoke to Brian twice, and Peter Serafinovich, zero times. Yeah.

Oh, my God. I'm just looking at the full. and yes, his forehead is dripping in sweat. But you two look positively beaming. We're having the best eyes. The relief in those eyes. It's incredible. Yeah.

I'm so excited. Groverburn. Yeah, bless him, though. Imagine doing a whole show on stage sweating and then having to meet people continuing to sweat and put on the character. We thought we might be able to get him to break character, but like we were discussing it in the queue. we could the first thing we were going to say and the first thing we did say was don't worry we're the last ones you know hi thank you so much for talking to us we spoke to the other day but no it was just brian he's he's a true professional it was brian all the way through yeah yeah and uh but the his his manager as well um recognized us or you i uh i sort of asked him by name i said oh are you know said said the guy's name who we've been dealing with and he said uh oh are you the idiots are you the idiots so

So, you know, clearly it's not gone down terribly that we kept. Oh, but how do you say it? Oh, are you the idiots? Oh, Vidi-Boe. Of course. Gravy-Bow? Gravy-Bow? So, yeah, that was our Butterfield Adventure.

Very exciting. And I hope you get to have a chat with him, Mikey, as well. If you're getting a diploma, then that's fine. But, yeah, if you say you were with, you were with Vidiots and you chatted to him last week about the Whitley, Bay show. Let us know if he says Grover Bay? You know what?

I'm going to put my phone, like, get the voice memo recording on it and try and record the interaction. Oh, that's a good idea. That's a good idea. We should have done that. We should want to do a little video. Well, we were going to like maybe have solo photos with him and stuff, but we didn't want to outstay our welcome. So we all just jumped in for a joint one and you know. You bought one diploma. You get one photo.

Yeah, that's it. That's it. And honestly, it was amazing. It was, it was everything. I'd hoped for and I was saying this to Peter as well, it's super surreal because we've been doing Brian Butterfield impressions for like seven-ish years, six, seven years. And that's based on a handful of two-minute sketches. And we've been subjected to an 18-minute conversation with Brian Butterfield, then like a two-hour stage show of Brian Butterfield. And so I'm kind of worried that we're just going to be doing Brian Butterfield impressions, like, just

solidly for three months straight. We already pissed off Ashton today, and she's only been in one day. It's only been one day, and she was like, I'm fucking sick of you guys doing this bloody Brian Butterfield impression. It's not even quotes from him all the time. Like, sometimes it's just, if you're

saying a silly thing while you're streaming or whatever, you just seem to do it in his voice. And like, just now, when I described someone telling the ice break joke, a speech at my school I accidentally used the word seminar so he's clearly got into our brains honestly it's like

it's a bit like AI learning in that we have so much more Brian study material now from which to pull inflections and mannerisms and his voice Groverbyby Groverby

so there we are everybody go and see Brian Butterfield if he's coming to a town near you because he's fucking is personal automatic? Personal automatic? He's fantastic. Well, there we are, everybody.

That was Poddietz. Thank you so much for being here. We really appreciate you. Mikey, I believe there's some sort of shop. You're gosh darn right. If you head over to vidyatsofficial.com and click on the lovely little shop button. Look how tantalizing it is.

We sadly do not sell diplomas and bon, bon, bon, bon, but we do sell a lovely array of T-shirts. mug, hat, hoodie, and stickers. Go have a look. Cheat yourself. That's vidyat'sofficial.com slash shop. Absolutely. Why not go to our YouTube, our Twitter, our Facebook,

all.com forward slash vidiates official. We also have a... I forgot to... I forgot to say it. Vidiates... We'll splice it together in the edit. We've also got a Discord. Vidiot's official.com forward slash...

Discord. Thank you to Tommy and Fleckers who mod is there. Go check that out. I haven't checked in recently. I don't know if the potatoes made it onto news yet. I assume it hasn't. Oh, yeah. I don't think any of us tried. Oh, yeah. So, oh, whoopsie. Well, we'll try our very best, but it looks, there hasn't been a potato post in a while. I was eating it. So maybe, maybe, yeah. It can be friends with Viney Jones. Yes. There you go. It can. Yeah. Last update potato was 11 days ago, so I'm going to assume the worst. Twitch.tv.tv.

It's official. We stream there, extremely rarely. We will let you know when we're next doing a live stream. We should get one booked in, but we say that every time, and we don't. So, you know, maybe at some point. Who knows? Pottyets.com is where you can go to donate and support the show. Three pounds or

more gets you a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode. You join Pod Squad. You support us in the process. can we have the pumpy platoon please we begin with Viny Jones the office grape

Finn Tristam raindrop joy Fred found what Lord would punch Mikey Tevich Tevick Donak or 7

Stephen Scores and Dobbinose Pisa We've also got Podiatsa here Time to wank Hetty Bobetti Petit Poastin Ben Potato

Mike Collif Peter Poir, two months juice cleanse, no poo, and anti-saxes. And finally we have mandatory saxinations. Take Benadryl to see Hatman, take PCP to see DBP, Mr Macca, the very generous Anna Silveston and the equally very generous stiff bristles. Thank you so much to all of you for supporting us this week on PodSquod. Pottietz.com. Three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show.

We'd really appreciate it. Peter, can you tell me what's out on Vidiots this week, please? I can. This week on Vidiots five years ago, we have got You Want a Blow Job Prop Hunt Part 2 with that films. Post from tat number 30, this is a heart attack. Heroes in Training Marvel Spider-Man Part 1. Worst Games Ever, 50 Cent bulletproof, one of our best performing worst games ever. Oh, people loved that, didn't they? They loved that being.

108,000 views, that one. Boundless stream highlights. Hashtag ad Yes It's five years Everyone loved that one Celebrated its five year anniversary this year

It did Yeah Get Out of the Way Overcooked 2 The Dunster vlog Arcades Fish and Chips and Castles

Memories Heroes in Training Marvel Spider Man Part 2 Pottie hits episode 15 Get to the Flump Post some tat

number 31 Poop Good subtitle there Marvel Spider Man in real life the live action finale

Worst games ever Hulk Hogan's main event Peter gets hit by a car Oh, that's a big one Yeah And I think finally Yes Neal's Masterpice

Art Attack PC That's another classic I love Neil's Masterpice One of my favorite videos So many of these I haven't watched Since we made them We need to get another stream booked in so that we can do

some live reacting We do I know Is it? I mean Not within in any specific time frame. November's really busy for me.

Maybe we'll do one before Christmas. How is that, Sam? Yeah. Maybe we'll do one before Christmas. We'll get some new merchies up there. We'll find something from the video it stays that we can auction off because that's usually what we do. Yeah.

We'll come up. We've got to pay for our presents. Take something off my shelf, maybe. Yeah. It won't be something that you guys have sent to us, but we'll find something. I've still got the piece of cake. We could set or we could auction that. Yeah.

Oh, not the little wooden cake, yeah. We've got nothing left. Just memories, Mikey. Memories. That's true. Michael Johnson, where are you on the internet? At Parrot Boy on Twitter and also on Instagram. Those are the best places to keep up with my doings and goings and comings.

Not the comings. Not the comings. Not the comings. And Peter, where are we? We are at Team Triple Jump together making video game related content. especially worst games ever, that's still going. And we do some silly cooking, video game cooking and lots of things. You can also find Ben on Twitter at Confused underscore Dude and me at That Peter Austin on Twitter

and also on Instagram and threads as well. Yes, absolutely. Why not leave a five-star review on your platform of choice? It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. And we'd really appreciate it. It costs you no money to do that. And it'll help us out, probably. I don't know.

Maybe. Does it matter? I don't know. It makes us feel good. Go do it. Thank you. Do we have a final question before we fuck off? If you could automate some kind of clothes washing detergent, what would it be?

Oh, I see. We've got Purcell automatic. What else should we have? Let us know. Right, thank you so much for listening slash watching, guys. We'll see you in a couple of weeks' time. Bye. Bye.

Bye-bye.