Podiots - Podiots: Episode 133 – Big Spud

Episode Date: November 11, 2023

Mikey has something to celebrate, Ben is carrying some very loose change, and Peter is praying for Mojo. Join next episode's Pod Squad: http://podiots.com And check our website and store: http://vidiotsofficial.com ------------------- Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Support Ben and Peter: https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump YouTube: https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax Guys I know we're a couple of weeks-ish removed from Halloween now But how did you get on with your respective plans? Did you get Trick and Door Treaters? We prepared for Trick and Door Treaters. We even would have answered the door if they'd actually knocked. It wasn't just a plate on the doorstep. But no one came.

Oh man And there are sort of family homes around us I think we were just a bit late Because we I had a slightly late I think I had a late finish that day anyway But either way we then stopped and did our big shop On the way home

So we didn't get home until about half six, seven o'clock So I think we just missed it Oh What sweets did you buy? What was your supply? When we turned about Aldi Because that was one of the things we got In the big shop was the sweets

On the day It had been absolutely decimated. And Ashton from Triple Jump said the same thing had happened with her partner Ben. He stopped to get sweets on the day. And no actual multi-bags of sweets were left for him either. He had to buy like a load of Twixis from the chocolate bar aisle instead. Ooh, getting big, doing big Halloween. So we were able to find one big tub of sweet shop favorites. A dick tubs. A dick tubs. I think it was called sweet shop favorites and it just has like drumsticks and palmer violets and refreshes and stuff but they're all for me now so no big loss did you guys get anything see anyone

did you get any burn well i was streaming um did you get any knock rampant knocks at the doors no honestly no because my my partner had a plan it's her birthday by the way when this episode releases so happy birthday um but she she she had had a plan and by God it worked because neither of us could. I mean, this was the first time that I've lived in a house for Halloween in a good long time because I've been a flat boy for years and years and years. And so I was thinking, well, I'm streaming so at least I don't have to deal with it, but also people knocking on my door and I have to give them things for free. This is, what is this communist country? Yeah, there's a flipping cost of living crisis on.

Why should I have to feed these kids? So she came up with a brilliant idea, which is is that she had bought some similar sweet favourites to the ones you're mentioning, Peter, with drumstick lollies and the like. For, as part of a birthday gift for me, back in May, these, the remaining sweets have been languishing in a drawer since then. And we also got an abundance of fortune cookies from a local Chinese place.

Now, this may have been a comment on the amount of Chinese food that was ordered, but I shit you not, they put like 30 fortune cookies in the bag. Imagine if you'd open them all and all the fortunes had been completely contradictory. That would have ruined the magic that you definitely believed in up to that point. It would have completely destroyed the illusion of getting a Chinese takeaway. I would have been devastated. But we had a draw full of those, basically.

So what she did was she put a little sign in the window that said, and this is partly true, that said that our wonderful kitten, Pippa, has recently undergone surgery and we have to keep her inside. Now, the truth is, we have to keep her inside all the time anyway, so it doesn't really make any difference at all. And so we can't open the door. However, please help yourself to something from the bowl. And she put out the remaining crappy six-month-old sweets and the free, stale fortune cookies. Oh, my God.

And a few of them were gone, not many. It didn't seem like many people were doing it round our way. But by far the most popular choice were the fortune cookies We managed to offload some of our stale fortune cookies It was a win-win We didn't have to buy anything We just got rid of old shit

It was amazing They probably all had loads of refreshes already Yeah It's an interesting thing You get to open it and read the fortune And yeah They have a pallet cleanser as well And in the process

You've poisoned the entire neighbourhood of children So good going on you We clear out our cupboard It's brilliant I'm going to put pasta out next year See what happens Listen, Mikey. You had some crazy dressing up in your office, didn't you?

Oh, yeah. You did some dressed enough? Yeah, I got, well, yeah, I fully leaned into my furry side, and I wore a sexy Garfield outfit with a neck choker on. And in our office competition, I think I won least scary costume. Oh, brilliant. I think it's pretty scary. Yeah, it was weird.

Like, I did get into it, like the whole night I was walking around meowing and kind of pretending to lick the back of my paw. Oh, okay, yeah, that's too much, man. Yeah, it's quite fun. Can't be doing that. At work still, all of my costume is just on my desk still because I don't want to put it away. I don't want to touch it.

So it's just there as a reminder looking up at me. Why don't you want to touch it? What's wrong with it? I don't know, it feels tainted. It's weird. It feels dirty, yeah. The gloves are nice, though. I might wear the gloves around the office.

They're very soft. I did a little drink of a syringe of alcohol, and it's squirted all in my mouth and all of my costumes. So now I've got bloody red cap, pause. Oh my God. Yeah. Did you have anyone knock at the door, though?

No, sadly, not a single person knocked at our door as well. So all around a pretty quiet, a pretty quiet Halloween for us all. But lesson learned, fortune cookies. That's how you get the kids. That's it, man. You got to hold on to these. I already offload my prawn crackers onto Peter off the every time. I cycle in with them and do that.

His is a sack of porn crackers. With prawn crackers. Yeah. And you know what? He's only said no once, and I respect that a lot. Yeah. It's like a tithe where people used to leave, like, big sheaves of wheat in the monastery, the local monastery to keep the monks happy and just brings in prawn crackers occasionally.

Just to keep me on side, I think that's how it works. It's much like that bit from Time Splitter's Future Perfect. I bring it in and I throw it on his desk and I just sort of scream in his face, Princess, got some lovely food for you. And Peter sort of makes a sort of guttural horrifying sort of what's he called

the guy who did the guy who's actually turns out is really problematic in hindsight but he did the horror the cosmic horror

what's he called what's his name the guy katulu what's he called oh fucking lovecraft yeah thank you that god

just don't ask him what his dog was called don't ask him that oh yeah see that's that's part of the problem but pizza makes sort of like a gutter or lovecraftian noise

and then I know we're going to have good week. It's going to be a good week of content this week. That's right. He's had his cron crackers. I like to think that when you give Peter his pawn crackers, he doesn't eat them because he's so sick of them at that point, this point. So he just fills his sink with water and drops them in there and watches them dissolve before him.

They might do that next time. To the local raccoon enclosure and sees how they deal with loss. Yeah. To use someone else's anecdote, given that I don't have any, because no one arrived at our house, Ashton from work said that she heard a boy go to their door he got a Twix from their box

of actual chocolate bars and as he turned around and ran back down the pathway shouted to his mum Twix! He was really pleased with it that's the jackpot though isn't it? Yeah I mean I suppose it is

yeah you've made a fortune cookie do you ever get given crisps when you treat a tricket as a kid? We got worse than that. There was a little row of houses in our village where mostly old people lived. And on the same night, we stopped at one house and just to live up to the stereotype,

an old man brought a plate of Wothers' Originals. Yeah, they're not that bad, but it was very much an old man suite. And then another couple of doors down, a woman brought her fruit bowl to the door, this very old lady and it wasn't even good fruit the apples were all sort of wrinkly and squishy so we sort of took one apple very politely and then i think we just like chucked it into the woods or something a little bit later on oh doris you got to try harder than that yeah

man not what not what it used to be a trick-or-treating used to used to be thankful to get your apple and now they can't even give away bloody sweets yeah can't get rid of them and anyway we should stop talking about Halloween because it's all about burning someone who try to kill a monarch a lot. Yes. Still remembered fondly to the day. Let's set off fireworks and scare the shit at a cat. Here we go.

Yes. Hello everybody and welcome to Poddy. It's the official videos. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael.

Hello. Hey, guys. How you doing? Yeah, doing great, thanks. How are you? Doing a big thumbs up right now that you've realized you can't see. But hopefully the enthusiasm of the thumbs comes through my voice. I can feel it.

I can feel the thumbs up. Very exciting. Don't suppose you've heard anything more about Shrek's swamp, have you, Mikey? No, I have been periodically checking the Airbnb listing. And they better open it up soon because it's getting into the wintry season. It's not a nice town to be getting swampy with it. No, absolutely not. Shrek, I'm just going to give it a quick search again and see if there's any news, but I wouldn't get your hopes up.

Speaking of Shrek and sort of meamy, sort of adjacent characters to the podcast, did you know that, Another Mr. Blobby costume is available for sale at the moment. I did not. Oh, how much? Well, I'll send you the listing not just because you want to see how much it is, but because there is a horrifying photo. I mean, to go back to Halloween, this is the real horror coming right now. But it was submitted as a thing by The Impressionist at The Impressionist on Twitter.

I thought, let's not go over old ground and talk about blobby sales. but here is the listing and can I direct you towards, hang on, there we go, can I direct you towards the photos available and the third last photo is taken from the inside of Mr. Blobby's head. Oh no. Are those blood stains? I don't know what they are. There's some mystery stains.

It's just like, it kind of, it's like the point of view of someone who wakes up in a nightmare or something and they realize that they are inside the suit and have been all along or something. It kind of looks like a nightmare duck from the inside. Yeah, it just looks like some sort of duck. So what I'm learning from this, having just done a quick Google, is that Mr. Blobby's eyes are very much on the side of his head,

or at least the vision holes. Yeah. Or on the side of Mr. Blobby's head, which does mean, I think, that he is prey. He's prey, yeah, which is probably reassuring. larger field of vision to search for predators. Yeah. I don't know who the natural predators are of Mr. Blobby in the wild, but he is prey.

Noel Edmonds, I think. Wow, this is a well-loved Mr. Blobby suit. It's so wrinkly and crinkly. It's made for a Danish spin-off of the popular British light entertainment show, Noel's House Party. The costume was made by the BBC's costume supplier to be used on Gravenpar hitter-godset, but the show was cancelled after six episodes, and the costume ultimately not used.

Oh, well, their loss. It looks like it's been... Yeah, it really does. There is some fantastic isolated shots of Blobby in this. It's had some considerable use. My favourite picture of isolated Blobby is just his torso and head with arms and legs ripped off. It's so weird, isn't it? Oh, it does look like some kind of cram scene, like, from like the leg pictures onwards where it's just the separated legs.

It's like evidence. Yeah, it's like it was hit by a tree. and this is what they're able to find. The first second and third photos look like Mr. Blobby on his first day of school and I can't... Like his mum's told him to go stand outside the front of the house of his uniform. He's got his arms

by his side and he's smiling. Oh, look how smart you are. He's so smart. Look how smart he is. He's got his big bowtie. Yeah. It's lovely. Do you think someone must be wearing that for the photo? Yeah. I mean, I'd put a mannequin in it

I think just so... Yeah. it would always be on display I'm believable I scroll down the page and you can you can buy a nutty professor mask Yeah, I'm looking at that as well It doesn't look anything like him

No What the hell is that? Hang on Why is the starting bid £1,200 pounds? Is it real? I guess so Oh yeah this is all real stuff

This is like a film memorabilia like a prop uh a prop auction place um so that's the one that eddie but it doesn't look like the screenshot they've attached at all what's with the teeth and the is that from a certain scene where oh yeah there's another still there it says when he's reverting from from fat um uh from fat the nutty professor to you know sexy eddie murphy as we all know you know everyone wants to look like Eddie Murphy and so that's that was the desire of that I think that was the message of the film maybe yeah yeah why not why not we all love a nutty professor that's what I got out of it yeah he too I haven't seen the nutty professor in ages it's really

upsetting actually I don't mind looking at that one well if anyone if anyone does want a mr blobby costume its estimate is between two and four grand that'll go for which is a a sharp decline in the blobby costume market after the initial heady highs of tens of thousands, just a mere year ago. It is. We should save up, to be honest. I think it's time to buy a bit of blobrabelia, memory of blobbia, perhaps. And if you want to do that, there's only one way you can do it.

And that's going to pottyets.com, which will redirect you to our Streamlabs donation link. If you give three pounds or more there, not only will you help us save up for some blobberabia. That's not good. But you'll also support us and get a shout out at the beginning and to the end of the podcast. and join Pod Squad. Mike, he's going to kick us off. We begin with finally caught up with the pod.

They give us a generous donation, thank you very much. And they say, finally caught back up after a lengthy accidental hiatus, glad to be listening weekly, living in the walls again, and hanging out in the Discord.

Gravy bye. Videoats official.com forward slash Discord. If you want to go hang out, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. We continue with raindrop joy,

airplane aisle, slip and slide. That's good. Oh wait, that means poop, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. And cow doys don't cry, Fred. Thank you. We have also got Stephen Skodes. I sent Mikey Birdseeds nuts,

Lord Brotovich, Guy Farts Knight, and our Lord Boppis Christ. And finally, we have Ben Potter, No relation. Mr. Macca, extra 50 peas garlic, my balls. And Brian Boppiesfield. Thank you so much, Podsquad for this week. Poddietz.com.

Three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. Do you guys have a favourite out of those? Oh, I mean, airplane aisle, slip and slide is horrible, but also quite amusing. It's a good image. Thanks to those who managed to squeeze into that pod squad, because we're recording, I think, less than seven days after our performance. previous recording so we're having to do an early one this this time thank you pod squad we love you thank you you are question boy that's right um I've got questions they've been submitted by

the listeners slash viewers at home um and we've all got one to read who would like to go first um any any desperate takers anyone really want to get in there sure sure Sure. Right. Go for it. I'll do it. Yeah. I will. Go on. Go on. Watch me. Watch me do it. This is from Oppressive Squid at Oppressive Squid on Twitter. Thank you so much. Headline reads. Hang on. This is from ABC Australia News.

Tasmania's Big Potato topples in high wind, but family of Premier vows icon to return after makeover. I'm really sorry. Could you read that once more? That was quite a lot of words in a short space attack, isn't there? There's a really good photo that I will send you. And I want you to look at it while I read this because it will really help you visualize the headline. Oh my God. Tasmania's Big potato, big potato being capitalized here in this headline,

topples in high wind, but family of Premier also capitalized, vows icon to return after makeover. Good. You with me? Yes. I'm glad this has happened. Well, maybe I'm not. You're glad this.

It's sad news. It's a disaster. I'm glad this has hit the news because like a glove, one of our community members, did send some time ago a Wikipedia article called Australia's Big Things. Because this is a thing that Australia have where they have lots of different big things in towns. And it just didn't, if I'd brought it along as a thing, it would have just been me listing all the big things they have. So now we've got something else to go with it. You can give us the meat and potatoes, Ben. And then maybe at the end I can list a few more big things

if they're not mentioned in the article. I'd love to. America does that a lot as satirized in The Simpsons, which is mainly how I know about it. Here we go. This is by Meg Powell. I'm scrolling. Lots of stuff there.

A giant of Tasmanian pop culture has tumbled from its lofty position above a highway. Kenny, the Kennebec potato. a fibreglass and cement sculpture has been greeting vehicles on the bass highway from the top of a pole in the rural community of, oh my God,

sassafras for 40 years. Wow. But after a tragic string of events, which I would really love to know the tragic string of events are. Not specified. Lost his wife, lost his job. After a battle with gambling addiction,

the supersized bud has fallen down. A truck, oh no, a truck backed into the pole about two or three weeks ago and weakened it retired farmer and Kenny's maker Rick Rockcliffe explained the strong wind over the weekend finished the job off

but it was always solidly built so it's very superficial damage oh my god I don't know if you are getting this from the same article Peter but there's a hyperlinked article here that says Australia's worst big thing oh okay I've got just the Wikipedia list article that has all of their big things

and they're off flipping load of them but I don't know what the worst one is. I'll send you that just to do some light reading while I'm finishing this story. Because the photo looks, it looks rubbish, I must say. Oh my gosh. Oh, what? Mr. Rockcliffe said it was good timing, as the family had been intending to take the sculpture down to fix it up.

We've taken it back home to restore it, he said. The big spud might be the country's second largest potato. What? Why? What's not even number one? Jesus. But it's possibly the favorite after the giant potato at Robertson in New South Wales was voted the worst big thing

spoiler okay there we go that's the thing the biggest the worst big thing is an even bigger potato that it's not in any way anthropomorphised it's just a giant it's just a massive spud thing that's laying on its side okay there's there's Kenny on his pole

he's pretty bad actually kind of haunting it looks like Humpty Dumpty it does like Humpty Dumpty Humpty Dumpty if he was like a boiled chicken not boiled chicken rotissory chicken good god that thing is horrifying it Genuine looks like a nursery tale. What is that?

What is badge? I don't know. What's his point? I don't know. He does look like... He's like a sentient donna cabb, isn't he? This story is surprisingly lengthy, given that we know everything about it from the headline. Kenny's A Model Veggie, reads the subtitle of the next part.

A farmer from the heart of Tasmanian's vegetable... Tasmania, sorry, is vegetable region. Mr. Rockcliffe said Kenny had started. as an advertising gimmick in the early 1980s. How long has he been up there? Oh my gosh. The family had a small business

at the time selling potatoes from the side of the road off the back of a covered wagon like the Wild West, it says in quotes. We decided then that we'd build a proper little set up there and the big spud was part of the advertising campaign,

he said. It's an exact replica of a Kennebec potato with arms and legs. And a hat. eyes. Mr. Rockcliffe said he had chosen a good one from his farm, cut it into sections and then built a scale model in his workshop out of wire mesh, cement and fiberglass with the help of a couple of mates. It confirmed longstanding rumours that Tasmanian Premier, Jeremy Rockcliffe, Mr Rockliff's son, had a hand in the early stages of making the spud. Okay, so Premier they're

talking about political. Right. Yeah, we don't really say that, but I think in Australia and America, the Premier is like, yeah, it's just the local political leader, I think, in a kind of a local scale, yeah. Potato icon. Premier Jeremy Rockcliffe. It's done pretty well considering the weather conditions it's experienced over that long period of time, Mr. Rockliff added. Jeremy Rockliff acknowledged the family mishap in a Facebook post.

Those winds must have been stronger than we thought at Sassafras over the weekend, he said. Extreme winds and trucks are not the only. Charles Kenny has faced since his creation, though. When he was brand new, he was very sparkly, Mr. Rockcliffe Recalled with a chuckle, but he's withstood the weather for the last 40 years and, oh my God, and shotgun blasts and bullet holes and all sorts of things. What? He did not confirm who had shot Kenny.

Oh my God. Rival towns or something, maybe. I was not expecting that. They'd be doing dry fries in the car. Yeah. Oh, dry fries. Oh, Mikey. This article keeps going, and it sort of veers into satire because they've included memes.

I'm going to send you one of the memes now. Let me know what you think of that. That's it good. Oh, good grief. God. Yeah. Yeah, what's, sorry, it's one of the world's greatest disasters. Yeah, that's a, that's a, for context without describing it in graphic.

That's a 9-11 meme about Kenny the potato falling in this ABC News article that they're embedded. Miraculously, this article continues. It's not the end of the road for Kenny, who is currently being given a makeover. However, Mr. Rockliff flagged potential difficulties in returning him to his position. The biggest problem today will be bureaucracy, he said. When we put it up, we just put it up. But these days, you've got to go through planning processes and all sorts of things. We might need some public support for that.

A council spokesperson said approval would not be required for an existing structure unless significant changes were made. Tasmania's social media pages have been awash with memes making light of Kenny's predicament. Bad meme. There's also him bursting through the Berlin Wall. Oh God. There's a series of him as Stonehenge. And that is the, thankfully, that's the end of the article and there are no comments underneath. Oh.

Can I interest you in some photos of other big things? Yes. From different towns. I can't believe Kenny was shot. This is the big prawn from Bellina, which is an eyesore. That's a good prawn. I quite like it. That's good.

Yeah. We've got a big sheep from Carunda. That is a thick sheep. It's an absolute unit, isn't it? Then there is the Big B from Kingscote. I can't wait to see this. Look at this. It's a big image.

as well. It's taken a while to work low. Still looking at the big sheep at the moment. Wow. Wow. No. That guy is not well. But my favourite. In Humpty Doe, which appears to be an actual place. Australia is just the greatest country, isn't it?

The big crocodile. It's got boxing gloves. Look at its eyes. You can barely see him, but it's sort of rolling them back in its head. My God. Absolutely amazing. The bee's my favourite, because it just, it looks utterly horrifying. That's supposed to be welcoming in children to the island beehive, where they can come for honey tastings and snacks and ice cream.

Yeah. No, thank you. It looks like to, what's it called? To Bug's Life, what the ants are to the movie Ants? Yeah. Where in Bug's Life, or Air Bug's Life, they were kind of cutesy and nice and Pixarized, and then in ants with a Z they were kind of harsh and angular and scary looking.

Yeah, what was up with that? It looks so chiseled and horrible, like legitimately disgusted me. What's that chin? He's got a goatee as well, I don't get it. Yeah, it's far too angular. It is a lot like the ants, ants, actually. Yeah, ants, ants. He's got, he's got human hands as well.

Springy hands are on springs. Desperately trying to add all of these images to the thread now. or at least the bee and the crocodile anyway. Valiant work. Well, there we are. That's my user-submitted thing. Speaking of big things, I talked about Gary the gorilla many, many months ago now

when he was stolen outside of a garden centre in Scotland. Sadly, there's still no sign of Gary. Oh, no. At this point, they've genuinely made off with an eight-foot gorilla, and he's just living in someone's garden now. Maybe they've shipped him overseas, and he's out, he's being trafficked

through our world countries now. But yeah, I think he's a real gorilla. He doesn't like his bananas, does he? Oh, what's wrong with him? Yeah, he's gone. And, yeah, I don't think the garden centre of putting up much of a fight anymore. They're not even, like, carrying on the jokes

and the condolences and the rest in pieces. They've moved on. It was a real rollercoaster that story, wasn't it? Because do you remember, like, a couple of days later, someone posted a photo of a very, very similar-looking gorilla statue just being towed on the motorway? Yeah, yeah. Is this him?

And then there was, like, a fifth. confirmation that that is not Gary. That's not Gary. Hashtag not my Gary. Not my Gary. For those who want to know more about big things, if you've seen some of the ones in the thread, there are honestly dozens and dozens of them.

If you search Australia's big things on Wikipedia, you will not believe how many there are. Most of them are just a bit boring. They're like just a giant wine bottle or a fish or something. That's fantastic. I would drive to that. Mm-hmm. Get a photo with that, send it to my grandma.

She'd be like, what's that? But I'd love it. I'd have a great time. Yeah, sounds good. Well, Mikey, would you perhaps like to... Wait, I'm sorry, I just googled big things. Yeah. All right, so the big potato that was pictured in your first link bend,

that was named the worst big thing. There's another alternative version of this big potato with a face. Oh, that's so much worse. Oh, my God. Why did they do that? I don't even know how to describe that. It's like a Mr. Pateo Head, but big and clay... It is. That's what it is.

That's what they're going for. Mr. Potato Head. That's absolutely horrifying. Good God. Greetings from Robertson, the home of the big potato. These guys have got to agree on who is the home of the big potato. Well, interestingly, the one, what's, I've already forgotten his name. What's the one that you've just been talking about?

Kenny. Kenny. It was listed as the big spud on Wikipedia, not the big potato. So maybe that's the difference. Big spud. Damn. Wow, that's great. Mikey, would you like to do your self-bought thing?

I would be enamored to do so. Have you boys ever farted in front of your partners? Yes. Were you ever, was the first time you did that ever celebrated? Maybe ironically to sort of test the waters, so to speak. I'm aware that it can be treated as a milestone for some people. Like, whoa, we've crossed the barrier here. This is great news.

Well, for this particular Australian couple, we're staying in the Australia theme. This was apparently an event worthy of celebration. And then that celebration was worthy of your favorite online rags to then make a story about. So I'm going to read the headline here. Whoopee. Girlfriend finally farts in front of her boyfriend after being together for three years, in all caps. This is an onion article. I'm calling it. Sadly, this is real life, baby. And he buys her a cake to celebrate.

Get ready for some... He doesn't like her cake, then he's missed a trick. Get ready for some truly bottom draw journalism. Oh, boy. Very good. It is beans time. It is being cypher. Ryan McGirline, 24, bought girlfriend Kaylee Warren, 21, a cake after she farted.

This is the three bullet points at the beginning of the article. This is giving you the headline fact before we get into the nitty-gritty. A gold-coast couple made pact that when Mrs. Warren farted, they would celebrate. And one night, Mrs. Warren let it rip in front of her boyfriend and was gifted a cake. Great. three years to me seems like quite a long time to not fart in front of a partner that is quite a very long time yeah um yeah actually yeah i think i think i don't know if maybe she's been hiding them but i mean maybe we'll find out in the article

woo yeah uh a girlfriend was left red-faced after her partner surprised her with a decorated cake wait for it to smelly brate her first fart in front of him i read that i was i was really on the fence about bringing this article in and then I saw the word smelly braid and I was like yeah you know what that's it's it's done got it at smelly braid her first fart for front of him after three years Ryan purchased the cheesecake to say congratulations to his girlfriend Kylie after she let rip with an embarrassing fart while in bed next to him last week good God that's a dangerous place to do it the first fart mm hmm the sheets the compounds and increase the smell a hell of a way to be introduced.

The Gold Coast couple made a pact a month into their three-year relationship that if Mrs. Warren ever farted in front of Mr. McCurline, he would buy her a sweet treat. But Miss Warren never expected the hand-iced $40 cake her boyfriend delivered her after she accidentally trumped in the night. Oh, so it was a sleep fart as well. Oh, so she has been trying to hide it, I think, by the sound. Wow.

Everyone finally slips out in the dead of night when she, can't control it. Wow. This has got to be sort of humiliating for it to go viral. Well, this is the thing. She's clearly very, very, very, like, or shy about it, given that even her partner of three years, you know, she didn't want them knowing that she farts or she didn't want them to hear it.

But now the entire world is talking about her one bed fart. It's very strange. And, like, to make sure you really know who's done the farting, the article has five pictures of the couple throughout. Oh, no, she's posed script, though, you know, she knows what's happening here. Oh, yeah, she's getting a five minutes of fame. Oh, and send the photographer around for a bit. Get some photos with them, you know the drill.

Oh, man. And I'm going to send over the picture of the cake now, and I'll read what the icing says. Took you three years. Congratulations for finally farting the icing red on the celebratory cake. That asda in Bristol has printed more embarrassing things for us, I think, than that. And come out and said, Is this right? Is this what you wanted?

Yeah, that's it. Baby Monkey John Deer, yes. The Scanned in photo of my actual phone in the scan device. I think it's a rude one. Oh, God. Mr. McEarly and shared the hilarious story online, which saw the post going viral on Facebook, of course. There's always, there's always say these posts go viral on Facebook,

but we never have the proof. They never put any Facebook posts in here. I bet it got like, oh wait, no, racking up thousands of likes and shares. Wow, isn't the internet great? But Kaylee is more polite when it comes to that sort of, wait, sorry. Oh, I skipped a line there, and there's going to be a very important detail I've missed. With me, it was like, wait, what? What does that mean?

With me, oh, right, for the him to fart in the relationship, he said, with me, it was like three hours or maybe a matter of days. Three hours. That's a bit soon, mate. I couldn't wait to fart in front of it Oh, you bet this is funny, don't you, darling? But Kaylee is more polite when it comes to that sort of thing So maybe a month or two into our relationship When I hadn't, so maybe a month or two into our relationship

When I hadn't heard one yet, I said it to assure It was an all right thing to do It was to break the ice Three years of extreme reluctance and denial later She finally slipped up Oof, that's a, she finally got her Oh, dear. I spent $40 on the cake

and Kaylee started laughing when she saw it. She thought it was incredible. It's something everything can relate to as a couple. It's something everything can relate to as a couple. Everything. Everything. A $40 cake is £21. That's not that impressive, I don't think.

But I'm glad she's happy. You think you should have spent more to humiliate his partner? I mean, if you're going to go sending it to the Daily Mail, then yeah, why not? If you're going to have your face plastered. And the message to the tabloids. I mean. Come on.

God, there's a lot more article to go. So I'm going to try and skim through it because I think it is the same old story regurgitating the same information. Yes. In his viral post, Mr. McEarly and said, when he heard his girlfriend fart at 2 a.m., he was filled with pure surprise and joy.

As it was so loud, it woke her up before she attempted to blame the pet dog. We don't need to hear about how Mr. McEarlane's lead singer of a band, that's fine. He's more known for his fart escapades now. You don't need to hear how they met either. I'm sorry, guys, but I'm just here for the farts. The couple who lived together ate the cake, which read, yep, we know what it read, took you three years. Congratulations for finally farting with friends on Tuesday last week, so they made an occasion of it, which I think is quite sweet.

Do you want to eat some Who cut the cheesecake? Indeed, yeah That was my thought When I bought it The cake When I bought the cake The guy in the shop

Was surprisingly chilled about it And said he'd had Wader requests I bet he had Italian monkey John did Yeah I think the Sparovor Was really when we nearly got banned

From that That was the bad one That was the first one we took in there Oh man Oh start bold Started strong yeah people were bragging about how quickly they fart in front of people it's good to get your mind off the situation we're in i guess

if a fart cake does that then i've done my job well you know we've all technically been in a relationship with each other for like six years and i think mike's the only one who's farted in front of any of us so yeah i think that's really yeah what the hell guys come on get it together you fought in front of the entire audience on microphone the world and were featured in fart porn forums Yeah, I think I've maybe gone too far into the far end of the end of things, but I think six years now, you guys owe me one at least, so your cheesecake's beyond the way the second it

happens. All right. I do like cheesecake. Peter can't have cheesecake, though. Can you have the biscuity base of a cheesecake and just scrape off the cheese for you? Well, I could potentially... Well, that's crap. Just give him a packet of digestives at that point.

If I ate the, if I ate the whole cheesecake, I could then produce far more farts, so, you know, Everyone would be a winner there. And then you'd have to get me more cake. And it would, I would be dead within hours. It really is a showing experience, isn't it? Because after all, it's not me thing. It's our thing. That's true.

That's where the article rounds up. I'm going to read one comment from the comments, because there's always a treat. This one comes from The Wife 2019. And they say, took me two years. I was pregnant. And horrendous morning sickness just pushed one out, not stop. since. Nice one. Cheers. Good for you. Live your truth. Live your truth. Good God. And that is my thing. Good Lord. Isn't that? I'm on cheesecake now actually. God. I'm a bit disappointed that none of the

listeners submitted that. To be honest, that's peak audience. That story. It's good. Farting and kicking. Thank you. Thank you. Boys. Thank you very much. So I have got my story now submitted by the audience. This was sent by Glenn Donnelly at Funky Cobra with a zero. So cool. Love that guy. This is going to Sky News written by

doesn't say, maybe at the bottom, do we care? Rupert Murdoch. I can't even, yeah, written by Rupert. I can't even cite the writer of this because they don't do it on Sky News apparently. But anyway, beer belly wrestling and

mud jewel to feature in the first Florida Man games. Oh, brilliant. The games will offer... How many people are going to die? Well, we'll see, yeah. The games will offer an opportunity to live like a Florida man for a day and was inspired

by headlines detailing the outlandish behavior of individuals in the state. We have covered Florida Man in a fairly early episode of this podcast. Basically, it's almost a game where if you type in Florida Man and like your date of birth or your first name or almost anything. You can come up with a unique story about something that a Florida man has done. Normally, something he's been arrested for. And so everyone finds their own Florida man story and compares it. Right, so here we go.

An evading arrest obstacle course where real police officers chase participants is the headline event at a bizarre competition in Florida that will poke fun at its own citizens. The Florida man phenomenon has been an internet mainstay for a a decade, largely thanks to a Twitter account that posts real headlines detailing the outlandish behaviour of individuals in the state. Florida Man, desperate for rides to Hooters, calls 9-1-1. Florida Man arrested for trying to get an alligator drunk, and Florida Man tries to steal rack of ribs by stashing it in his pants, are just a few favourites. Wow.

So busy are the Outlandish Florida Men that there's even a Florida Man birthday challenge. I've already talked about this, where you Google the trend, and you're... and your birthday to find out what a wacky Floridian was up to on your special day. Disclaimer, in italics, your search results may not be as tame as the ones we have included above. A few Floridians have embraced the stereotypes that come with these strange headlines by creating the Florida Man Games. Described as the most insane athletic showdown on earth by its organizers, the games scheduled for 24th of February 2024 are...

Come on. Is this, when was this written? Oh no, it was the 26th of October. I thought this might be an old story, but no, we're fine. The game scheduled for the 24th of February, 2024, will involve the evading arrest obstacle course in which contestants jump over fences and through yards while being chased by real police officers.

What? Are the police officers taking part, or are they just committing crimes beforehand? Just before, yeah, everyone stands at the start line. punches someone else and then runs. Hang on, where was I? There will also be the Category 5 cash grab, where participants try to grasp as much money in a wind-blowing booth.

I guess it's like the end of the crystal maze. And also the weaponised pool noodle mud jewel and beer belly wrestling. There's then just an eyestock photo of Amman doing a bouncy castle obstacle question. course, but given that the events haven't taken place yet, it's nothing to do with the actual... No, he's wearing protective gear. That definitely wouldn't happen in the real thing. What was the beer belly thing, sorry? Just be a belly wrestling. That's just what it's called. Be a belly,

so just fat guys. Yeah, I guess so. Cool. Sounds sick. I'm in. We thought, how can we really play on these Florida Man headlines that we hear so much about? The events creator Pete Melfi told the Orlando Sentinel. Wow, the Orlando Sentinel. Plenty hell, this is a real story. Someone gave me the idea to make it into an athletic competition, he said. It's going to be a wild day of mud games and Florida-style obstacle courses.

It's going to really be an opportunity to live that Florida man life for a day. Two former stars of the hit 1990s television show, American gladiators have agreed to serve as referees during the insane all-day-long events. Jet. The event is open to all residents of Florida with teams entering together and competing for what organizers have referred to as the Gator Head Trophy.

They have specifically stated that being athletic is not required at all to enter. General admission tickets to the event are $45, that's 37 pounds. Oh, that's a lot. And then the article just ends there. Damn.

Wow. I would be tempted to go and witness that, to be fair. Yeah, it does sound pretty chaotic, and I'm sure the beer will be flowing. Oh, yes. We should do a follow-up. When is it happening? Not until February, 2024.

Oh, man. Okay, yeah, so many people are going to die at this event. Yeah, they probably are. You need to follow up. There's also, on the read more at the bottom of the article, I think just because it probably does it, it's an automated thing based on key words. There's some Florida man stories.

hyperlinked. So Florida Man resurfaces after a record 100 days living underwater and... Wow! That's how wrinkly do you want to be? Yeah, I need some context for that. Surely he wasn't holding his breath. No, I don't think so. I think he probably had

tubes and stuff to send food down. I wonder how pruny he was. He will have been so wrinkly. And Florida man... That's Andrew Ryan. Show some respect. Yeah. Florida Man arrested after cashier tricks him into taking a seat during robbery.

Wow. That's great. Oh my God. Incredible. Sit here, pretend to be a mannequin. No one will spot you. Yes. It works.

Yeah. Oh, it says you can listen to this article. Audio created using AI assistance. Is it a robot reading it? I'm not a fan of AI voiceover, I must say. It's not good. It's not good. No, they're mostly not good.

They're mostly not good. It's not terrible, but it's definitely a robot, just at the very top. Newspapers, hire Ben Potter to read your articles. It'll be better than this. Oh, yeah, that's just Microsoft, Sam. That's a crap one. But I've heard a lot of people use it on, like, Facebook Reels and Instagram, whatever the fucks, and TikToks and stuff. And, like, it sounds kind of convincing until you hear a few of them.

You're like, oh, you've got exactly the same guy. Oh, okay, it's a robot, man, you've got to do that. And that's sad. It's the death of creativity and the skill. and arts and we shouldn't encourage it I've seen it on them like YouTube list videos and fact videos and stuff and you don't necessarily realize straight away

and then there's just like weird inflections or words that if this person was human they would be able to read that properly and the other reason anyone would get that wrong is because they're a robot and you're like no glottal stops they string together words weirdly or they go he in the middle of like words where there's meant to be two different syllables

and they can't quite get the hang I hate it Don't do it. There's a, I've noticed like a weird recent trend and completely AI run YouTube channels where it's like an AI voiceover with an AI script with an AI video presenter edited by AI where it's just what's hot on the internet right now, funnel that into a machine and spit out a video. And my favorite recent encounter is with a podcast, which was an AI presenter reading our AI presented, AI made one liner jokes and that was the entire podcast, just as robots saying robot jokes.

and the advert I heard it a couple of times and I was like that doesn't sound right what's up with that and I searched it and I was like yep he's not a real man

it's all bullshit in isolation like as a thing on its own that's interesting and obviously Peter and I have talked about this a lot as far as video games go as well in our day jobs

and you know it's super impressive like how far the technology has come but there simply has to be a better application for this technology beyond costing people work you know yeah it's the sheds oh boy yeah well there you go um ben it's your turn again

to tell us what you have discovered this week or what has happened or something depends what you what you brought along yes i'm going to talk to you about sex coins would you like to learn about sex coins yes my favorite yes get your peepers on these sex coins oh my god these are roman sex coins i'm going to now i don't uh speak Latin, but Peter, you live with someone who is well-versed with Latin. Yeah, a classics graduate. A classics graduate. How would you pronounce that word? Oh, spintri-a? I think that might be a plural of spin-tri-a, possibly. Let's go for spin-tri-a, because that word's going to come up a lot. This is an article from ancient origins.net by Riley Winters, that

I've sort of truncated a little bit. Spin triae, the Roman sex coins that showed what was on the menu. Oh, wow. Fun. Potentially, maybe. We don't know. Let's find out. There is a curiosity that belongs to ancient Roman history which historians are yet to solve.

There exists a collection of Roman brass coins or tokens that depict sexual acts on one side and a numeral on the other. They were not part of the normal money economy, sorry, and they were used for just a short time in the first century. These so-called Roman sex coins may have been used to obtain entry to brothels, pay prostitutes, or even function much like a modern-day menu where customers who did not speak Latin could hand over the token depicting the act they desired. But the truth is, no one really knows. It's like when you go to a theme park that's like, it's like a Victorian town or something and you have to buy some shillings on the door. It is. But if you, you know, you want a

particular sexy time. Potentially. Again, we don't know. Today, there is a strong negative stigma surrounding the occupation of prostitution. Just to clarify, we're all sex positive and sex work is real work. In ancient Rome, while everyone certainly had their own views of the practice,

it was far more socially acceptable. In fact, brothels were somewhat of a staple in vacation cities like Pompeii and Herculaneum. And then it says in brackets, which is helpful for archaeologists, as both of these sites remain frozen in time. What? They all died.

They all died. They all got a flipping volcano, didn't they? I don't actually know what happened at Hulkomania. Holcomania. Brother. These staples eventually grew to encourage their own form of coinage called, was it, Spintriere? Spintriere. Spin triet or spin triae, yeah.

Spintriet. In the medieval period, though the name is misleading in ancient records, The prevalence of prostitution in Roman culture is highlighted through the wide circulation of these coins and the plethora of imagery in the aforementioned vacation sites in southern Italy. Roman bottle tokens... Before we get too far away from it, I just want to go back to... Which is helpful because these places are frozen in time. They didn't clarify that they meant...

I mean, yeah, it's because of volcanoes, but like, it just sort of implies that the doctor has been there with his TARDIS and, like, locked them away or something. Roman brothel tokens were rather obvious to the everyday money handler The token had various sexual acts depicted on both the front and rear of the coins Usually the participants on the coin In the act of intercourse

Some depicted fallaces instead Full-formed and often with wings attached Likely indicating the virility of the man Using the coin While male prostitutes and female participants Were not uncommon It was far more common As far as literature can tell

that wealthy males sought the company of a meritrix or legal female prostitute. However, if you want to pronounce it meatrix and imagine like meerkatat in dominatrix gear, you can do that. Excellent. Well, I mean, on that image that you've sent, it's like the full kind of a big array of multiple coins, the one on the bottom right appears to just be two dogs having sex. Could you just bring your dog a lot for a bit of a surface as well, maybe? Maybe. Who's to say? We just don't know, Peter.

No, we don't. Could have been a dog brothel. Dogging. Maybe, I don't know. I do like the wings, though. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Dogging bay.

Dogging bay. Yeah, the penis with wings. I like the idea that you could turn up and say, yes, I'll have one of these, please. Yes, whatever this is, I want it. Make my penis sore. Thank you. It is also notable that the tokens predominantly depicted male-female relations rather than relations of the same sex, likely indicating that homosexuality, at least outward

homosexuality, had become far less acceptable by the time of the Romans than it was for their predecessors in ancient Greece. One of the most prominent theories about the creation and purpose of the coins was to advertise the prices of sexual acts. Further, in passing a coin between two people, i.e. the buyer and the seller, one could maintain a level of privacy. This would have been particularly important to those of high status who did not want their late-night dalliances known. It is believed by some scholars that, sorry, Mikey. As I say, imagine going to the shop to buy your tin of beans and you open your purse and accidentally fall out all your sex coins.

It's like topping up the lecky, isn't it? Maybe you go there and you buy big twicks for the trick-or-treaties, and I want four dick-wing coins. Yeah, you have to go to the kiosk for that. You can't get that at self-checkout. Yeah, it's a special Tesco booth job, that. It is believed by some scholars that the sex act depicted on each coin corresponds to the price listed on the opposite face, which is also being considered clever

as it is a system that would also have helped dissolve language barriers. If this theory is true, then one must consider that the coins themselves were not forms of payment, rather they were more akin to calling cards or order slips. As one would say, I would like a number four at McDonald's and pay food at the window, and ancient Roman would pass the token, with dicks with wings on maybe, and then subsequently pay for their service before or after it occurred. Imagine the chaos that could ensue if a time traveller who frequents McDonald's went back to Roman times and asked for a number four. Number four could be dangerous.

You could get the dog one. Yeah. A more recent find of a Roman brothel token in London called the Putney token for the bridge it was found near was examined in 2012. As it is known, the Romans had forts, camps, etc. in ancient Britain, the theory that these coins were used to get around language barriers is furthered. Britain's romanization was slow. Thus, so was the spread of the Roman language. However, an image of sexual intercourse is universally understood. It is possible that these tokens were at some point used as a form of payment. Despite

circulating only in brothels and between buyers and sellers, there is an indication that it would have been in the participant's best interest if the coins were worth something. According to Jeffrey Fishburn from the Social Sciences Department of the University of NSW, you in his article, is that a spintria in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me? Very good. It would be extraordinary if this were the case, because then we have evidence of a distinct sub-economy within the larger Roman economy, one with its own distinctive market for sex, and spintriere as a particular type of coin destined for special uses.

No other market, so far as I am aware, was so privileged. However, at the end of the day, there is still no certainty around how these Roman sex tokens were used. They could have been nothing more than game pieces, tokens for seals at the theatre, or seats, sorry, at the theatre, or even coins used at the communal baths. At the very least, they show that the Romans were not conservative when it came to their sexual appetites. I like the image that you've sent of just the singular coin, which appears to show sort of two people on a... table or a bed involved in perhaps something a little bit BDSM but it looks like under the table there's a very small person just kind of sitting there while two people go at it on the table above them there's a little little peeping tom sitting down there I don't know what to

make of that hmm very weird while you're talking I did search on eBay sexy room and coins to see how much they're going for but sadly I came up short I couldn't find any Oh, no one's selling their sexy tokens. Oh, I'll keep my words. Oh, we're actually no one for four pound. Look at that. I get it. That's a bargain.

If they send it to you. You can take it into your local McDonald's, maybe. By being sold by Grizzly Gus 18. Oh, Grizzly Gus. No. If you buy it off Grizzly Gus and he sends it to you, does that mean you also have to provide the sexual service, given that he's giving you a coin with that image on it?

You know what? Grizzly Gus for the coin. I'm willing to do whatever you. want. Yeah, there's no verification that this is actually real. I doubt it is. I doubt it is. But I'm going to buy it.

Yeah. Nice. Nice. There you go. Well, you can have that sat around your house for it. Oh, my God. Don't go on his profile. It gets so much worse.

He's got anime girl sexy coins. Oh, no. Oh, no. He's got an old English coin with just the word suck my cock. emblast and didn't do it What is this specialism? No, what is this eBay account you've got?

He has got 100% positive feedback there. Oh my God, I didn't expect... When you said he's got sexy anime girls, I did not expect this kind of sexy anime girl image. I can't believe Grizzly Gus would run a store like that. Oh, Grizzly Gus, come on.

Have you seen this one? You must have done. Hang on. Sorry? Have you seen this? Oh, my word. That's very excellent. explicit. That's anime.

I can't post that. That's bad, that one. It seems most of the ones on eBay are reproductions, obviously, of casts of actual coins. Yeah. I'm not as a lured anymore, I've got to say.

There's a George the 5th, King George the 5th penny that says clit fun on it. Oh, and on the other side it says bomb fun. So take your pick. That's nice.

Very strange. One of this person's feedback says he's selling all fake items and coin space space apostrophe s do not buy he's scammer for sure oh oh no he's scammer for sure i can't buy one of these coins no damn it but if you do ever want any fake sexy coins then grizzly goose 20 uh grizzly guess 18 is your man i don't want grizzly gus to know where i live yeah that's true he's going to send you weird um monthly news newsletters through the door and letting you know what's going on the sexy coin world

It definitely is, yeah. Oh, dear. Wonderful, wonderful, Ben. Well, one day you'll find your true Roman coin, but let's not trust Gus. No. Well, that was fantastic. Thank you, Ben. You're welcome.

Is it your turn now, Mikey? I believe it is. It is. For a listener submitted thing. This one's from Groovy Pasti at Groovy Pasti on Twitter. And this is the return of an all. character for one of my things. The headline

reads, man found guilty of being a gimp. We have an update. The Somerset gimp has been caught officially. Just on Halloween, Friday 27th of October, the height of mischief is found

guilty of being a gimp, which is a hell of a crime to be accused of. Guilty of being a Gimp. There's a weird bylaw there that they managed to have them on there. A man who brought terror to a village in Somerset has been filthy, has been found filthy, guilty by magistrates today. Joshua Hunt, 32, dressed up as a gimp and prowled through the streets of bleeding, cause in panic. He denied two counts of causing intentional harassment, alarm or distress, but was found guilty this afternoon.

Lucy Lodge, one of his victims said he was writhing and crawling as if in a military fashion which is quite the sight I could see the person was wearing very tight dark clothing and had a mask on their face the mask was dark and very tight

and two white crosses were where the eyeballs should be oh God that is actually oh oh yeah it is Spook Central this is not a nice thing to see there's a picture of the mask oh goodness me He was dressed all in black with a shiny black face mask on, and they were face down in a military fashion and writhing and crawling on their belly.

Oh dear. When Hunt was arrested, minutes after the second incident, he told police, I am not a gimp, I do not own a gimp suit, I am not in a gimp suit. But was he not? If it was minutes after the incident, this is why, so I skim read the article, I wasn't sure whether to bring this back, given that we've already covered it. But I saw that one quote and I thought, what does that mean? He was arrested minutes after being caught like creeping on someone in a gimp suit. And he's saying, I am not wearing a gimp suit. Well, he explains as to what he was doing was not gimping and it gets weird.

So you're in for a treat. I'm not right the rest of it. There's a few more quotes about him wearing shiny black stuff. Nice. Someone saw him and said. I was scared by what he was doing because it was dark and they were dressed like that

following reports of the second incident, police went to, is it bleed? Bladen, Bladen, it's Bladen. Went to Bladen and spotted a white burlingo van in a field which was reversing and decided to stop it. PC Declan Coppick spoke to the defendant who was wearing

grey trousers and a black hooded top and arrested him with Hunt telling him he was not a gimp. I noticed his skin was extremely wet and damp, suggesting he had been lying on the side of the road, the officer said. Hunt told him, I am not dangerous. I am a normal person. I have got a few problems. Oh dear, bless him. Oh, bless him. A search found Hunt was not wearing a t-shirt or any

underwear inside his van, and there was a collection of wet black clothing, women's tights, face masks and gloves. There was also a neon white paint used for drawing on the mask, the court heard. He explained he would go out at night, change into black, clothing and go mudding mudding. Oh, I can guess from context what that might be. Oh man.

Yeah, so he's not a gimp. He's a mudder. Right. Okay. He should then to the Florida games. He would have a good time there. Oh, yeah, we're going to roll around. Yeah, buy some tickets out. It'll do them good. It'll do them good. He said, which a lot of people wouldn't understand. It's something

I'd do to get covered in mud, which is another reason I was there. close to the estuary where there is mud. How many times can we say the word mud? Let's find out. The clothes I wear and face masks are for mudding only, hence why I had them in the vehicle. Time to time, yeah.

Sometimes I just feel so crap about myself. It's a release because I feel like shit, so I cover myself in shit. Oh boy, this boy is going through it. Bless him. Happy mudding, I guess. Well, not anymore. Oh, oh, muddy, muddy, muddy.

It never ended my head that what I was doing as frightening people he said I apologize to those people I agree what I was doing is frightening but hand on heart I never intended to cause them harassment alarm or distress he was just getting muddy with it

I'm not a gimp I'm not a gimp he's a muddy boy if it's the same guy that we heard about before he's been doing some pretty alarming stuff yeah he's been wandering around in a gimp suit and there are photos of him in his gimp suit yes he has actually been harassing people and chasing after them

so maybe maybe if you're going to mud to do it in your back garden yeah you can make mud there There might even be a few understanding farmers out there who would quite happily let you pay them to go on their private property in the night, in their mud, and then everyone's happy. They get a tenor, you get your mud, and you're away from the road. You could even start your own local mudding association,

run out the village hall every fortnight and get a little mud pit in there and all the boys can get together, have a great time. Big Baps Road Cafe, whatever it was called. Birth is Big Baps or something? Oh, dear. Oh, no. Well, he's not sure what his sentence is, but he won't be mudden any time soon.

Bless him. Oh, dear. And that puts it. He gets the help that he needs. Yeah, we wish him the best in that regard. For sure. Gimpy boy, not gimp, not gimp, mudder, mudder. Well, thank you, Mikey, and thank you, Sender. for that. Thank you. Groovy pasty.

Groovy pasty. I've got a story here that I have discovered. I saw it being talked about on Twitter not long ago and I found a write-up here according to All That's Interesting.com

This baboon worked on a railway for nine years without ever messing up. Wow! Here is a photo of the baboon working on the railway and not messing up. I hope he has a little uniform.

Oh, look at him. He doesn't have a little uniform, but there is a uniformed man watching him pull a lever. Fantastic. Jack the baboon worked on the railway system in South Africa for nine years without ever making a single mistake. Then there's that image that I've just sent to you. If you could add it to the thread, that would be good. And it's captioned, Jack, operating the railway switches. He's doing a very good job of.

It's a good jack. He is. That's a good jack right there. When James Jumper Wide... James Jumper Wide... Jumper is his nickname, it's in quotes. When James White, also known as Jumper, worked for the Cape Town Port Authority Railway Service, he developed a habit of leaping from one railway car to the other, even when the trains were moving.

One day in 1877, he misjudged his jump by a little too much and fell under the moving train. Jumper survived that the train had severed both of his legs at the knee devastated but not disheartened Jumper made himself two new legs out of wooden pegs and took a job at the Eutonage station he even constructed a wooden trolley to help him get around but despite the additions he was still having trouble

Enter Jack Jumper met Jack at the local market leading an ox wagon leading an oxwagon so he had a profession This is his second job Yeah He was impressed with his intelligence

And decided he would hire him To be his new work assistant Eventually What did he pay him Jack? I don't know Fruit maybe Eventually Jack learned how to push Jumper to work in his wagon

And switched the train signals And he even would hand the conductors Their keys He quickly became an invaluable asset to Jumper's work. The only problem, Jack was of a boon, which we have already learned. Thank you for that big reveal there. Jumper taught Jack how to use the train signals by holding up one or two fingers and pulling the corresponding levers. Jack also picked up things through watching jumper, such as delivering conductor keys. As a train pulled into the station, it would set off

four blasts from its whistle, signaling the conductor's need for a key. As soon as he heard the Whistles, jumper would then grab the keys and slowly hobble over to the conductor. Jack picked up on this and after just a few days, would complete the task on his own. Aw, he likes having a job. It's the very conscientious and kind of useful member of society version of John Deer, isn't it? Or Uncle Fatty. Yeah, Uncle Fatty. Uncle Fatto is just a leech on society.

Real drain. Eventually, he could operate the railway signals on his own. while under supervision from Jumper. He even became something of a local celebrity and people would come from around Cape Town to watch the baboon operate the tracks. However, the idea of a baboon running the train tracks was worrisome

to a few people and one concerned citizen alerted the train authorities. Excuse me. I think you'll find there's a very capable baboon running the train tracks over there. Boone. Boring. Rubbish. Apparently, while many people at the management office

knew Jumper had hired an assistant, The fact that it was a monkey had somehow slipped through the cracks. Jack's a nice lad. Have you met him? A bit hairy. A bit hairy. Likes peanuts. There's a very low quality image here of him doing some more work. Oh, look at him. Oh, look at him. It's scary.

A railroad manager was immediately dispatched to the station to fire Jack and Jumper. But when he arrived, Jumper pleaded for their jobs, offering for the manager to test Jack the Baboon's skills, thinking there was no way the Baboon was as competent as Jumper claimed, the manager acquiesced it. He instructed an engineer to sound a train's whistle and watched, shocked, as Jack made the correct signal changes. Apparently, Jack never looked away from the train, ensuring his work was correct. Wow. The railroad manager was impressed and eventually let Jumper have his job back. He even made Jack the baboon an official employee paying him 20 cents a day and half a bottle of beer each week for his work for the next nine years.

My God. Even more surprising, Jack the baboon never made a mistake. We now have a bit of a sad ending after nine years on the job. He's not dead, is he? He's still alive. He's fine. He's on a happy farm somewhere. He's 106 years old.

He's 106 years old and he's fine. But a different baboon called Jack that is unrelated to this one contracted tuberculosis and passed away. Oh, I didn't care about that, Jack. That's okay. And that unrelated Jack Baboon's skull remains at the Albany Museum in Grahamstown, South Africa. But who cares? Because the train is still alive.

Yes. The one who is good at trains is still with us. I just did quick maths for how many bottles of beer this monkey had during his stint of this job. And nine years, half a bottle of beer every week for nine years is 233. dirty hall bottles of beer. Wow. Monkey was living good. Oh, I don't know why they've used that rubbish image in the article

because here's the same photo, but in very good quality. Look at that. Oh, look at that. That's great. So what do you reckon he spent his money on? I don't know. I don't know. Did it not just go straight to his mate?

Old pegleg? Probably, yeah. Old er peg leg. Oh, yeah, I didn't even know. I was so distracted by the monkey in that image. You can see his peg legs. Holy shit. He did a good job there.

He built him well. Yeah, yeah, he does. Braces go all the way up to the thighs. Nice. What a pro. God, that must have been awful. Yeah. Being run over by a train.

Jesus. I mean, if you will jump between, I'm not victim blaming him. But if you will jump between. It's all right. He's dead. What's he going to do? Yeah.

What's he going to do? Come on. He might haunt me. Anyway, his monkey's still alive. So the monkey might come and get him. He is. Yeah. And we're going to talk to the monkey next week on the podcast.

It's very exciting. Yeah. Apparently, when I was looking for a write-up on this, There is a Wikipedia article about it, but it's way too short for me to have read. But it did say on there that I don't know if you're aware of the monkey news segment of Ricky Jervase's old podcast with Carl Pilkington. Oh, yeah, I think so. Where week on week, Carl Perkinson would bring a story along about something a chimp had done or a monkey. And it was normally absolute bollocks.

You know, there's one that, like, worked for the fire department or one that, you know, he told the story about the one that went to space, but it was all full of fact. actual inaccuracies. And he told this story and Ricky Javis and Stephen Merchant laughed him out of the room as usual. And it turns out it's actually true. He told pretty much an accurate representation of this story. And this one... Suck it, Richard and Stephen. Really was true. Incredible. Well, thank you, Peter, for bringing that along. You very well. Oh, joy. Thank you. And thus concludes the things for this podcast. Now, before we go into the pre the end amble i should say the post amble is that is that term i don't even know um make sure you go watch the video version of this podcast we always forget to say that there is a video

an actual video version of this podcast for the longest time we were just uploading a static image with the audio under on our youtube channel but you can actually see our faces there's actual face cam for this podcast now and you can go watch it on our youtube channel youtube.com forward slash video it's official uh so consider going over there not only listen but watching it too. I appreciate that. Mikey, there's maybe some sort of shop.

I think you're correct. If you head over to Vidytsofficial.com and click on that lovely little enticing shop button, you will be greeted by an array of goodies including stickers, t-shirts, hoodie and cap.

Oh, the seizing of giving is coming ahead probably in like two months' time, so get your shop. and list ready early so santi claus can bring you your poddyets legends mug and vs one corduroy cap that's what's on my list what about yours oh yeah oh yeah on my list is an unreleased piece of merch which is uh which is due to hopefully come out at some point this month also another reminder i still think we're on for the hang i'm looking through my calendar we're on for the eighth of december i believe yeah currently yeah eighth of december for a vidiots reunion stream on

we should probably go serious about this soon and start putting out some promotional materials for that. But that is currently the date still. Nothing has changed as yet since the last episode, which was very recent at the time of recording. So the 8th of December is currently our Vidyat's Reunion stream. And when we do that, it'll be Twitch.tv.TV.4 slash Vidiots official. That's where we're going to go. Maybe we'll announce some new merch there on the night that you can purchase in time for Crimbles, as well as some other funny shenanigans.

So pay attention. We will tell you soon what's going on when. We know. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook.com, forward slash videos official. That's where you can find us. Our Discord is, of course, vidyatsofficial.com forward slash discord. Thank you to Tommy and Fleckers who are modding us over there. Go hang out with like-minded vidiates viewers and poddy its listeners.

We'd really appreciate that. And as I said, Twitch.tv. forward slash vidiots official as well. We'll be live streaming as and when we do that. 8th of December is the current date for the final. Twitch reunion streamed. The three of us all streaming together basically before the end of this year.

So add it to your calendars. Poddiots.com. If you go there, donate three pounds or more. You get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast. You join Pod Squad. You help us keep the lights on here.

Keep us doing what we're doing. Pay for our hosting costs and also our savings account to buy a genuine blobby costume. So we'll get there in the next 40 to 50 years as long as we keep doing this podcast. Mikey, do you want to kick us off again?

We begin with the generous, finally caught up with the pod, raindrop joy, airplane aisle slip and slide, and cow doys don't cry. Fred? We have also got, sorry, I was just messaging my wife saying, Can you put my tea in the oven, please? Hang on, wait.

Stephen Skodes. I sent Mikey Bird, Seeds, Nuts, Lord Brotovic, Guy Farts Knight, and Our Lord Bopis Christ. I don't know why I'm doing that. That's Force of Habit, because I've already had my tea. She'll be very confused by that message. Yeah, well, I thought you, yeah, we talked before we recorded. Well, I have, I do it every, every episode, I quietly send a message saying, I'll be done soon. We're wrapping up now. Yeah, but she has just replied with question marks.

Well, you should reply to her. while we do the next second dinner. Come on. Yeah, always time for T2. Yeah. It's equal to T. Thank you also to Ben Potter, Mr. Maca, extra 50 peas, garlic ma bowls, and Brian Boppysfield.

And that is your pod squad for this week. If you want to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next podcast, go to poddiots.com, three pounds or more. Really appreciate all of you. Thank you so much pod quad for this week. Well, actually, Peter, have you sent your message now? I have, yeah.

What's out on Vidiates five years ago this week? I'll tell you. We'll have for your dinner five years ago this week. I'm curious now. Yeah, well, we'll find out. Probably snappies. Snatty tomato pizza. Well, we made Nuka Cola.

Ooh. So maybe we had a nice... Yeah, that was basically food rather than drink, wasn't it? Because it was just undiluted syrup. Making Nuccaola, Spooky It's episode 18. A Luigi Boy. Post some tat number 37, Vidiot's Wrestling Federation. It's On Easy, Black Ops 4 Zombies.

Worst games ever, spooky special, Billy the Wizard Rocket Broomstick Racing. I didn't realize that was a Halloween episode. And then the scariest video of them all, on the 3rd of November, 2018, Vidiot's changed. Oh. Vidiot is changing. Vidiot is changing. Announcement. There it is.

an occasion that we celebrate and remember to this day with the annual triple jump is not changing video every video either side of that has a 98 or 99% like ratio that one has 82% so oh people didn't like the announcement that we were losing our jobs sorry guys yeah sorry about that we'll continue with bucket's national basketball association of 2000 playgrounds too. I really took the piss. At that point, I don't know if you could tell

that I checked out because stop trying with the titles there. No, that one, we really didn't do it because the title of the game was so long.

It's like, fuck it, let's just put the full title as the title of the video. UK Playgrounds too. It's already a stupid title. Yeah. In the spotlight,

Marvel's Spider-Man The Heist, Pottiot's episode 19, car crash DM. Post some tat number 38, penultimate tat, new Vidyat's merch, some would say too little too late. Whoops. Worst games ever, 007 Racer. Vidiot's live Twitch stream, Dark Souls remastered number five.

And finally, for today, Vidyat's announcement Q&A, where we had to do some damage control because people didn't understand what we had just announced. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah, we tried to put a positive spin on it But it was not I mean we've spoken to death about it But that was not It wasn't an easy time for any of us for sure

Really fun But hey, we're still here We're still kicking We're doing great in our In our sequel jobs Yeah I wonder a better term And honestly we're

We're thrilled to be part of the Pickax Network Go check out the amazing other podcast On the Pickax Network And videos did change It changed into eventually just pretty much only podcast and you know what I think it's going really well I think the podcast has never been in a better position

than it is right now and it's nice to see so thanks for support you and figures are staying strong you guys are still as passionate as ever and we'll keep doing it as long as you guys want us to so no pressure

because sometimes it's easy to lose track of it isn't it? It's nice some positive reinforcement goes a long way sorry Mikey what did you say I was just my brain's falling out of my ears I was just echoing the same sentiments yes

yes thank you all for your amazing support we're still going five years after the fact or it will be five years after the fact in a couple months of fucking out Jesus where Mikey yes sorry to cut you off where are you on the internet at Parrot Boy on Twitter and Instagram

are the best places to keep up with what I'm doing. Because I finally have something fun I can share. I'm in the bloody credits for Alan Wake too, motherfucker. Whoa, that's so cool. Yeah, I helped do some video work on the behind the scenes making of the game. We weren't expecting to be included in the actual credits of the actual bloody game, but I'm in there as Mikey Johnson. Nice.

So cool. Congratulations. Yeah. Congratulations, man. That's really cool. Look at me, Dad. They don't know what games are, but look at me. My words ring. My name is in the credits. Be proud of me. And then show him the farting video. Yeah, then that, yeah. You want to keep things level. You know, you can't bring them up too much. And Peter, where are we on the internet? We are at that Peter Austin and at Confused underscore dude on Twitter, respectively. But you can also find us together on triple jump over on YouTube and Twitch and also Facebook and Twitter. as well, where we're doing live streams and video game-related video content, such as worst games ever, and rules, boss challenges, and cooking as well, occasionally.

It's locked behind a paywall, but for good reason. Absolutely. And I believe will it, oh, it's next week, isn't it? Talking about something cool that you're going to be doing, Peter, you're going to be part of a children-in-need-live stream. Yes, yeah. I mean, you know, all being well, that's certainly the plan, is on, I think, the 10th, oh, is it on the, I think it's Friday the 10th, at 7pm, BBC 3 are doing a show about sort of video games and fundraising for children in need at the same time. And at the same time, various creators will be doing live streams to raise money for children in need, which is nice.

and it was very nice of them to reach out and ask us to sort of be an official children in need adjacent stream. So yeah, that's great. Very cool. Hopefully as many of you as possible we're able to come along to that. If you weren't able to see it live,

YouTube.com forward slash team triple jump vods or triple jump vods. I can't remember. It's one of the two. I think triple jure.com up forward slash vods will take you there anyway. You can see it after the fact. It may not be live yet, actually. That may be going up on Monday.

No, it should be, shouldn't it? Thursday? Friday? I don't know when you're streaming. I can't remember when it is. We're streaming on the Friday. Yeah, so it will have happened by the time this episode goes out, actually. So you want to go to the Twitch channel to see the bod there,

but it will go up on the YouTube channel after the fact. Brilliant. Lots of exciting stuff happening, basically. We're all killing the game. Do they say that? Do they still saying that? I think so. Sure.

Is that a bit chuggy of me? I don't know. Why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice? It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms and would. really appreciate it. It takes no time and costs you no money. So maybe go and do that if you haven't already. Do you guys have a final question before we bugger off? Did you get any trick or treaters? Yeah. Did you trick or treat? I don't know. I shouldn't do a Halloween question again. No. No, hang on. Let's not do that. Anything else? Any other

offers? If you had a baboon work with you, what would you trust them to do in your play? place of work. Yeah. Okay. I like that. I don't trust baboons full stop, though, so I wouldn't allow it. I don't. I'd be really bad.

Yeah, the answer is none. Nothing. Like, he was a good boy because he was plied with half a bottle of booze every week, but I saw a grill in a workplace. I think the sounds of printers jamming would very quickly lead him to start ripping people's faces off. But by all means, you have a gorilla in your workplace. Let us know what you want them to do.

Yes. Go for it. Do what you want. heart desires. Well, thank you so much for watching slash listening, everybody. We really appreciate it. We will see you in a couple of weeks' time. Until then, though, look after yourselves. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye-bye. Thank you.