Podiots - Podiots: Episode 135 - Aldi, Sweet Aldi

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

Ben's rocking out with his croc out, Peter's put a feather in his cap and Mikey's burned a million quid Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://podiots.com/ Visit our shop! - https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop ------------------- Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Support Ben and Peter: https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump YouTube: https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/ Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax Well, didn't we have a lovely time, everybody? Oh, it was nice. Yeah, probably. Maybe. Yeah. We're recording this in advance. Thank you, everyone, for coming to Vidyat's Reunion 5,

which we did last night at the time of release. And it was for a great cause. I'm sure we probably raised some money for a charity, right? normally do that. Yeah, probably. We auctioned off the piece of cake, off of the show piece of cake, all sorts of exciting stuff, as well as who would like to announce what's just come to the shop. Mikey?

Oh, Peter, Austin, I think the honour's all yours. Oh, well. Okay, then. Sorry, I'd tell me that. Actually, I would quite like the honours to be mine. Can I? Yeah, all right. Fine.

I thought Mikey's not said much yet, so he could. I just wanted it. It's your design, Peter. so you can wax lyrical about it, but Ben, if you want to... Oh, yes, it is my design, Gravy Bay. Is it really my design, or is it Brian Butterfield's design, is the question. You can now get, ladies and gentlemen, a Gravy Bay. Oh, yes, Gravy Bay.

T-shirt on our store. It's sort of a... I don't know, it's just a little logo. The official Gravy Bay Tourist Board logo, maybe. Is that what we're calling it? I don't know. I think so I think it's time

for another spree of Google Maps anarchy and everything in Whitley Bay become Gravy Gap Bhaer please renaming it to Gravy Bay That'd be so good

Yeah go do that Go deface some Google for us I don't think anyone's like had any repercussions for like the hundreds of places that have been done so just yeah crime's legal now do it I did hear

something was in the news like a few weeks ago about vandalism or something. Google Maps Fathers where basically someone had done exactly what we've done. I think it was a slightly more political statement. Like they'd change something for sort of

you know to make a kind of political thing. But yeah, it didn't seem to catch up with us. So yeah. Ours is harmless. Yeah. Obviously stay away from important landmarks, obviously. Use discretion.

But yes, I'm sorry, I mean ah yes. Grovey Bay. Go to to Vidyatsofficial.com right now, click on the shop button and get yourself a gravy-based shirt. There's a very low likelihood that this will reach you in time for Christmas. Just being completely honest, in case you wanted to buy one for Christmas, we're not in charge of how fast things are printed and shipped out, but certainly it will get to you ASAP.

No guarantees. And if you did want to get one as a Christmas present for someone, maybe just put the sort of shipping slip in an envelope for them and say, hey, it'll be here in January for you. Surprise. Or in a giant Amazon box with a rock in it to make it feel expensive, you know. That'll be good as well. We'd also like to thank you for all of the wonderful Spotify wrapped tweets

that we've been sent over the past week or so. Everyone's Spotify raps started dropping, and we were in the top percentile of podcasts. listened to for a number of you so thank you very much it's very appreciated and nice to see it is thank you very much indeed thank you thank you yeah and there's one more thing oh go on mikey go on oh god um oh yes that thing yeah um so this is not the last episode before the end of the year we have one more episode to sneak in before we take our christmas break and that will be our annual christmas extravaganza so just a

warning for all of you out there. Keep your eyes peeled for any fun Christmas news and send it on our way when that tweet comes a knocking. We'd love, I'm sure Christmas time is filled with the crappest of local news. Maybe there's been another Grinch come at someone's house and knocked everything over and ruined the child's evening. Oh yeah. Maybe someone tried to light the tree and all the bulbs exploded. Yeah, could have happened. I did see that someone is It might have been an old story that was reposted because it was just on like out of context Britain or something on Twitter, but

someone at some point rearranged a nativity set on like a village green to make it look like Mary was giving Joseph head or something. It was like a post in fact it wasn't a news story it was a screenshot from like a Facebook community saying there are children, many

children up this crossroads and this is despicable which I mean you know it is you're rearranging someone's religious iconography. I don't condone that, but it's weird news, if nothing else. So there'll be all sorts of things like that happening. That's what we're looking for. And equally importantly, Pod Squad, that is your last chance. The episode should be going, all things ahead, all things going to plan, should be going out on the 23rd of December. So if you do want to get a Christmas shout out, that will be your last

chance to do so. Some of you have done it this week, very sensible. Yeah. But next podcast will be your final chance to get a Pod Squad in. We'll tell you more about that when we start the actual show. Speaking of which, do you guys, shall we? Should we start the actual show? Should we start the actual show, Michael? Yeah, I think we shall. Hello everybody and welcome to Poddy. It's the official vidiates podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we, sorry, the cat's just jumped off me, where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urns

where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. Oh, hi guys. Hello. Hello.

How was your holiday, Peter Austin? It's very nice, thank you. I went to our wedding where Amy was a bridesmaid and then immediately after that we went away for a couple of days and saw lots of animals and things when we were on these very, very deserted country roads. So, yeah, we saw a barn owl and some hairs and, you know, rabbits and stuff.

So it was nice. I had a really good time, doing very little. Lovely. Sounds nice. Did you or did you not go to Shrek's Swamp, the Airbnb? Because I know you were going to sort of a secluded location. Oh, alas. Imagine if I've been there.

Yeah, I could have been, did you think, did you genuinely? think I might be keeping that from you and it was going to be a big surprise? Or did you not? I'm just, I'm going to use it as a as a really good segue once you've finished saying no. Okay. No, Ben. I did not. Why do you ask? Oh, damn it. Oh. Oh, no, it's fine. Because Peter, I suddenly remembered, oh yeah, that Shrek's Airbnb thing. I wonder if they've relisted that now for anyone's book. They haven't. However, someone has now left a review that did get to go. And the person is called Amy. Oh, okay.

So I thought, maybe there's a chance that your lovely wife managed to get you Shrek's swamp. I seemed quite evasive this morning. When I got to the office, she said, did you have a nice cabin? I was like, a nice cabin. And I was thinking, it sounds like he said cabin, but I don't know what that means. And then it's because I told you before I went that it was, I don't know if I used the word cabin, but I said it's basically a, you know, a shack in a field.

A nice shack with all the mod cons. Yeah, cabin threw me off and I was thinking about ships, cabins and I was really confused. How was your cruise? Yeah, from your point of view, it might have been like I was going, well, we're recording polliates tonight,

so I'll tell you then. Yeah, secret. It's a secret. You don't need to know. Do you want to hear Amy's review? I'd love to, yeah. It's a five-star review from October. We had an absolutely fantastic time at the swamp,

capital, S. Couldn't have asked for a better experience. We were so well looked after and blown away by the attention. attention to detail and how well it matched Shrek Swamp in the lowercase S, swamp in the movies. Thank you so much. And I can only assume those of you who have used Airbnb know that it's a two-way street, right? That the host leaves a review for the person who was there as well. So I sincerely hope that considering this, this is hosted by Donkey,

this person is now has this badge of honour on their profile where Donkey has left them feedback. And it's official as well. It's like it says at the bottom, doesn't it like, it's whoever it is, DreamWorks or are they owned by Paramount ultimately or something like that? It says like... Identity verified, verified, verified. Yeah, wow, it is so nice to meet you. I'm Donkey and I'm making magic with Airbnb. Yes, he is.

Wait, so does the Airbnb bookable yet? No, it's not, unfortunately. It was, it says add dates for prices, booking period is closed, sorry, this one-off stay is no longer available. What? Are you interested in becoming a host like donkey? Explore hosting on Airbnb. Like donkey.

Donkey. Oh, God. So no swamp for Peter, unfortunately. No, sorry. Have you guys had a good week, non-holiday week? Yeah. No swamps in my life either, sadly. No.

We're all swampless. How about you, Ben? Did you go any swamps? No swamps. I had my friend. James, not Jenkins, um, up,

there's James Jenkins is a friend, just to be clear, uh, up visiting and, uh, he helped me out massively by, uh, doing some decorating for us because he does that by trade.

And he helped me put up some shelves and there's just loads more, uh, nerd shit up all over the place now that was previously in a cupboard. Like it's just spilled up onto the stair decoration now, which is very exciting. Wow. And your Mr. Blobby print,

Mikey. Oh. Uh, is at the top of the stairs. and the walls are actually painted pink now. And we were joking about how we should put some yellow splodges along the walls, like some sort of blobby corridor, a blobidore, if you will. Yeah.

But that's it. That's the major update from my life. It's bloody cold. And I'm feeling less festive than I thought I would at this point. Yeah. Let's figure out how grim this season is. But ho, ho, ho. Chocolate incoming, at least.

Eat ourselves into oblivion and warm. ourselves on. That's right. We're now into Advent by the time this goes out. I've got an Advent calendar that my mum bought me. Oh, my mum bought me one as well. Have you got white chocolate one? I've got white chocolate dairy free. No, sorry, even better. I think it's lactose-free, but dairy, which is even better. Nice. Yeah, I don't know where she got that. My mom didn't buy me an Advent calendar. Oh, my. I was hearing you both get one actually made me a little bit sad. I can buy my own damn Advent

You can, man You don't need an Advent calendar to find you Or your relationship with your mother My mum would probably buy one for you Mikey If you tell her If you let her know Kick up enough stink Yeah

Miss and Mrs Austin My mother didn't buy me an Advent calendar I'm very sad And then you can tell your mum That someone else's mum bought you an Advent calendar And next year you'll get like three from her Because she'll feel guilty Yeah

pit the mums against each other. This is what Christmas is all about. It is. We'll have a mum off. It sounds a bit weird. I don't know why. Oh, God. Yeah, let's not think about that.

No. If you'd like to help crowd fund Michael Johnson and Advent calendar, you can go to pottyets.com. There, if you donate three pounds or more, you join Pod Squad. You get a shout-out in the next episode of Podietz, and you support what you love, and we really, really appreciate it.

As we continue to do this absurd. show and a lot of you seem to be enjoying it and that's nice. So if you go there, join the Pod Squad, you get a shout out just like Michael Johnson. Your wifu, but with a Pee, who is very generous and they say, hey boys, or girls, just wanted to say thank you for all the Podiot's episodes and for keeping this going. I love the podcast so much. I just want to like Ra and Nut Inside Them, you know. You know what I mean, guys, guys.

Okay, well, see you soon. Wow, that's a strong start. That's a really strong start. I don't think we can, I don't think it comes, I don't think it gets any stronger than that. We'll find out. Thank you, your wife, we're with a pee-pee. We continue with Brian Butterfield's Pizzar.

Michael, put that down now. Rocks the Fox. Bebebe, oh, be-be-be-be-eep, e-be-peep, e-be. Thank you. I am a car. There we go. Thank you. Brilliant. I still love you, Keoline. Oh, no. Oh, Cowline.

Oh, he's been drinking a bit and now he's slurring his words. Caroline, please, please. Please come back and Jack Mehoff. Thank you all. We've also got Chris My Ass, Kirby Blurby Herbie Derby, Return of the Ballback. Kirby, Kirby. That's what I said. I thought he said,

Herbie Blurby, Herbie Derby. Did I miss hear that? It might have been Discord. I think I said Kirby. Might be Discord. I meant to, anyway. Kirby Blurby, Herbie Derby. Return of the Ballbag, who was very generous

and said, it's your favourite Jay Weber, Louis. Or Lewis, I think it's Louis. If you could provide my brother his Christmas present by saying, Merry Christmas, Freddie Weber, you're a cunt. There's an extra donation in it for you. Loved you all since you were spermlets. keys, keys, and then there's a follow-up donation from Cheers for that, and the message attached is

from Louis Weber, so I assume that's all one. Thank you. We've also got Alexa remembered to donate, who is also very generous and says, hey boys, sorry I've missed the past few pod squads, so here's a bit of a bigger one to make up for it, and sorry to everyone with a speaker that activates but blame Bezos, I had the name first, much love, Kiskees. thank you very much and we've also got Rangrop Joy and Don Aco 7

Do we all need to read the message from from Louis for his brother, brother Freddie? Maybe all of us, yeah, okay. You ready? Merry Christmas, you're a cunt.

You're a cunt. In perfect sync. That was it. That's going to sound so good. That's what he wanted. Just like that. Do I fix that so they're all in time or just leave it.

No, no, no, no, no. It was perfect the way it was. Yeah. And we finished with Happy Blobs Giving, Stephen Skodes, Caroline, I Buried the Cat, Lard Breadtovich, ordered water,

but got Poo Jol? Poo Jol? Poo Yol? What's that? I don't know. Was Puyol the name of the fart man I did in the last episode?

Oh. Could have been. Yeah? Ordered water but got poo y'all. I don't know. I'm not sure. At Davon X. Crunch D's nuts, corn flakes.

Do your fellas like ladies? Ladies nuts, I got them. And Mr. Macker. That's your Pod Squad for this week. Podiotts.com. Three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. And join Pod Squad. Thank you so much, everyone.

Thank you. Do you guys have a favour? I was tickled more than I expected by at Dave on X. Yeah, I did like that. But I can't say the same. Oh, hmm, I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. It's that one.

Yeah, that's good. That's good. It's a slight change on an all favorite. Yeah. I can't resist a D's nuts. So I'm going to go, there were a couple of D's nuts and a handful of D's nuts. And then I'm going to go for Crunch D's Nuts Corn Flakes. That's my favorite one.

I can rarely resist a Caroline as well. I do like I buried the cat. Yeah, cowline was good as well. Cowline. That's a bull vines incursion, isn't it? A cow line? Yes, there's been a bovine incursion. Right, Michael Johnson.

So I'm just going to give up. Can we stop using like nut and cum and all this in our donations? It seems as the years go on, you're all getting very naughty. No one's telling them off. They're just pushing the boundaries now and seeing what they can get away. with. We do actively refund people sometimes. Occasionally someone will just post something really offensive and we

have to refund the donation. We love you all very more than we can say, but come on, it's the season. At least for the next one. Be nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're still in charge, Jesus. You're still in charge of things

from listeners, so please take it away. when you say take it away does that mean I read my my thing or you're in charge you're in control Mike you choose I just I'm not built to be management and this is like whenever you're doing frightfully well Michael we're so proud of you well Peter I would like to use my management skills and delegate the next section of the podcast to you

that was a bad decision and I will be reporting you to HR you should have done a lot better than that it's okay you're a thin ice Johnson interesting choice Johnson. Your thing or listen to submission, manager? Listen to submission,

please. Okay, thought so, right. So this comes from River Fox and was submitted via Discord. So thank you for that. We do have a Discord. We'll talk about it later on,

but it's easy to find. This is according to the Daily Express, you know, the racist newspaper. Boo! Diana's dead. Stop talking about her. So this is written by

Charlie Bradley, two first names. who says, ex-pat fakes heart attack more than 20 times to avoid paying restaurant bills. What is the charge? Restaurant owners were left furious as the man was only sent to prison

for, quote, minor crimes and will walk free in 42 days. We'll see if he walks. He might keel over. They might. A man faked a heart attack, at least... Oh, this starts well. Right, I'll read this word for word.

This is the grammar they're. have gone with. A man faked a heart attack, at least 20 Spanish restaurants, to avoid paying the bill in a brazen scheme. They'll express everybody. Yeah. Originally from Lithuania, the man has now been

jailed, having not paid two fines following his outrageous stunts. A picture has been... Mad stunts, sorry. The word stunts is forever tainted for me. Have you had for tea? All of it? Not cared for it?

A picture has been sent out of the man showing him slumped in a chair as restaurants warned of his antics He feigned heart attacks in this way At every restaurant he went to The majority of which were in Costa Blanca Here is the photo of the man Slumped in the chair

I don't know if this is him In the process of pretending to have a heart attack Oh Jesus Why is it so close to his face? I don't know that's that image is from the sun apparently oh and all the rags into there yeah um it then continues uh he feigned heart attacks in this yeah everywhere mostly in costa blanca um one restaurant to know told of how the man ordered several glasses of whiskey before pretending to have a health

episode the man the manager of el buen corner uh no sorry el buen comer c o m er said it was very theatrical, he pretended to faint and slumped himself down on the floor. We have sent this photo around you all the restaurants to try and stop him from striking again. A worker at Saleh and Pepe added, we've all received

a warning with his photo telling us to be careful and do not serve him anything. The man has been jailed for 42 days for refusing to pay his fines. Because each incident only cost the businesses a small amount of money at the time, the offence is only considered a minor crime. Restaurant owners, however, are

now planning to file a joint complaint which could land the man up to two years in jail. A lawyer from firm Navarra Sancho said he has taken advantage of the legal system with such small fines unpaid it's difficult to achieve a longer sentence in prison. This comes after a restaurant town

and was left £7,000 out of pocket when a married couple left Italy without paying for a banquet. Sheesh. You've got to take payment in advance on a banquet, sure. On a banquet, yeah. Yes, we'll have two banquets, please. Okay, I'll bring the bill at the end.

Here it comes. A KFC, it's only like 10 quid, a banquet. Yeah, and it comes in a bucket. Yeah, free bucket. You just strap it to your face like a horse. Like a horse bag, feedback, yeah. Moreno Prioreetti and Andre Svenia married in Frosinone, southeast of Rome,

but they left the country without paying for the huge meal that fed their 80 guests. Oh, what? Unbelievable. So, yeah, that was just a bit of padding at the end where they told a completely different story over a paragraph. What was the name of the town

where this guy was doing this? Principally in Costa Blanca. Costa Blanca. I'm going to Google it. I bet it looks lovely. Oh, it do look lovely. It do be lovely. Yeah.

That's nice. It looks a bit like gravy bird. In fact, oh, my God. Oh, no, maybe it's different. Maybe it's a different identical geographical location, but the thumbnail for the Gravy Bay episode, I took a coastline with a bay that looks very similar to Costa Blanca. Well, I've just looked up the Spanish for gravy, and it translates as salsa. Oh, whoa.

Well, that's not correct. Costa Salsa, I guess, is gravy bay. Costa Bisto. Oh, see, Costa Salsa. I commend the person who like saw through the heart attack dudes charade because like imagine getting that wrong and the dude actually having a heart attack and a whole restaurant of people just saw you taking pictures of this dude going, you're a scammer, I know you're faking it.

It's something with Crying Wolf. There's literally a story about this. Yeah. You know, he's not going to get the help of the needs. Exactly. If he eats too many of those free meals, he's going to raise his cholesterol and one day it might actually happen. you'll be in big trouble.

Yeah. Well, thank you very much. River Fox was that, who sent that in. Thank you very much of your submission. Wonderful. Thank you. Ben, would you like to carry the show on with your main thing? I would absolutely love to.

This main thing is a news story, actually. Not unlike a listener submitted thing. I don't know if this was submitted as a listener submitted thing, and maybe we didn't choose it, but I saw it. And I just think it's very us. It's from October the 10th, so it's quite recent. And this is from LiveScience.com. They mated like mad.

Low-flying helicopter sparks massive crocodile orgy in Australia. Oh my God. Wow, okay. A Chinook helicopter flying above a crocodile farm in Queensland, appears to have set off a huge sexy frenzy. With the crocs mistaking the noise and vibrations as a signal, it was time to make babies. Ah.

This is written by Jacqueline Kwan. A large-scale saltwater crocodile mating frenzy was recently triggered by an unlikely suspect in Australia, a low-flying Chinook helicopter. Researchers from the Karana Crocodile Farm in Queensland, which is home to over 3,000 crocodiles, said their scaly residents became aroused after the flyby and mated like mad.

John Leaver, owner of the farm, told ABC that the Chinook pilots use his phone, farm as a marker point to change course mid-flight, with one pilot recently coming especially low so the people on board could snap a few photos of the crocs. Snap a few photos. Oh, very good. All of the big males got up and roared and bellowed up at the sky, and then after the helicopters left, they mated like mad, Leaver said.

There's something about the sonic waves that really gets them stirred up. So what is it about low-flying helicopters that gets crocs in the mood? Herpetologist, which I'm going to need one of you to Google, Mark O'Shea from the University of Wolverhampton in the UK, told live science there are a few reasons why a helicopter might spark a crocodile sex frenzy. A herpetologist is a zoologist who studies reptiles and amphibians such as frogs and salamanders.

Oh, there we are. Thank you, Peter. Sorry, I'm going to look up the etymology of herpes now, if you carry on. Oh, yeah, that's it, yeah. It's important. It's an important thing. to know. One reason may be tied to helicopters simulating many of the warning signs of an incoming thunderstorm. Heavy rains are known to have an aphrodisiac effect on many species of crocodilians,

and saltwater crocodiles appear to time mating so new hatchlings do not drown in floodwater after heavy rains and storms, O'Shea said. They mate during thunderstorms, so offspring are more likely to hatch in more moderate conditions. Usually mating is a seasonal thing because crocodiles want to coincide with the best time to lay their eggs in a burrow or nest. Warm and wet weather usually triggers mating behaviours in October is just about the right time for crocodile romance in northern Australia, where Leaver's crocodile farm is located. But the low-flying helicopters rotors may produce the same signals that tell crocodiles a storm is close.

Crocodiles have multi-sensory organs called integumentary sensory organs, ISOs, which is also how you play video games, what are old. They are used to detect changes such as movements in the water, atmospheric pressure, and sounds at extremely low frequencies. I imagine that the down draft from a large, heavy helicopter would create a change in pressure that the ISOs on crocodile's skin can detect, O'Shea said. Dropping barometric pressure from a down draft may resemble the change in pressure from a storm. Another potential explanation, O'Shea says, is that the Chinooks could be producing infrasound,

sounds so low in frequency that they are undetectable to the human ear. Such vibrations, sorry, can also be picked up by... ISOs. The sounds that the helicopter's giving you out that people can't hear just have sex, have sex, have sex, have sex, have sex. It's just Barry White. Yeah, I was going to say it's a low frequency Barry White, who's already pretty low frequency. Chinooks may artificially recreate the sound of the start of a thunderstorm, he said.

Such vibrations play an important function in crocodilian communication. The sound of Chinook's powerful rotors may resemble the sound of competing crocodileian males, such as the low bellowing sounds of males looking for a mate, or the sound of the sound of males slapping the water with their jaws, another territorial and courting behaviour. So is a Chinook helicopter all it takes to get crocodiles in the mood? O'Shea says he is not so sure. Crocodiles may need to already be picking up subtle clues, like, subtle cues, sorry, like changes in temperature that signal their traditional mating season is about to start

in order to be swayed by the large aircraft. Right. So we can't just start breeding crocodiles really, really easily with a Chinook now. It has to be the perfect storm, as it were, of various stimuli, and then you fly a Chinook really low, and then they will all have a crazy fuck session. Right. Well, herpes, the etymology, is from the Greek,

originally from the Greek herpon, which means to creep, which gave the word shingles, which is what herpes comes from, or is related to. And similarly, it relates to a snake or a reptile as a creeping animal. So they both ultimately go back to creeping. It's a creeping animal or a creeping skin disease.

And it means gravy in Spanish. It does, yeah. Well, there we are. That's my thing. That's amazing. I did do some quick math. Well, I haven't done the math yet, but I've got the two numbers that I need to put together. So, like, I mean, I think having 3,000 crocodiles in one place,

are usually at sanctuaries, like, they monitor breeding and stuff, but if all of them have just done a sex at the same time. Yeah. So that's 3,000. Let's assume it's a 50-50 split of male to female crocs. And it looks like on average, crocodiles lay about 30, no, let's say 40 eggs per laying. So there's a potential there of 60,000.

yeah it's got the increase isn't it yeah i mean yeah so i mean soon yeah australia is just going to become crocodile island when that place starts spilling out and then helicopters come in to rain in the galaxy crocodiles and they're doing it again god damn we should try and fly chinook over some pandas see if that gets them in the middle of nothing is going to work with those guys well now apparently pan there are too many pandas there are too many pandas they're longer in danger they've been like going at it like mad there's loads of them in chinese zoos we're all right pandas are fine we need to deal with like rhinos and stuff now yeah people could stop shooting rhinos that would be lovely yeah well thank you very much ben you're welcome

let's rule into my viewer submitted thing uh this one comes from nicole at nicky g 373 on twitter and I'm glad to say this is the return, kind of of an all-familiar character. Asda Bedminster shopper spots Crow queuing for the bakery. Oh my God. Cueing for the bakery. Wait, there's so much to unpack here.

I love how this story is still going. And it's not just Accro is in Anastra somewhere. It's Asda Bedminster. The bird one. Oh, God. Asda Bird Minster, yeah. Brilliant. Yeah.

Yeah. Again, like this is like, I'll be honest, like I rarely ever go to Asda, but the reoccurring stories of birds being in the shop do really get me tempted to go down just in case. Because it sounds like there's a pretty good chance that when you go to Astor, you'll find a bird there. I'm going to send a picture of the little crow queuing for the bakery. Oh, so polite. Not really queuing as, as about to steal some. Red. Yeah. Oh, dear. Good boy.

The subtitle reads, I've seen some sights in ASDA over the years, but never seen some bird attacking the bakery. Wow. Article begins. A shopper in a Bristol-Azda store has told of their surprise when they were joined at the in-store bakery

by a cheeky crew. The South Bristol shopper, who declined to be named, said she spotted the bird a few seconds earlier flying around in the corner of the store before it landed at the bakery to pick up a few crumbs. Oh my God, as to Bedminster.

Like, if people who like, well, they don't live in Bristol, it is like, it's a hellhole in every way and it just seems to be getting better and better with time.

So, yeah, I say welcome in the bird overlords. Let's get some more of them in. The bald bird had somehow got into the Bedminster parade store on Wednesday morning and was checking out the bargains

when a Bristol Live reader spotted it at the back of the store by the bakery section. She said, I've seen some sites in ASD over the years, but I've never seen some bird attacking the bakery. I thought, what on earth is a bird doing in the shop? Do you think it's waiting for a cake to be printed? Oh, I think it's a rude one. I've got my receipt.

I'm okay, please. The shopper, who was in the store around 10 a.m. on Wednesday this week, November 22nd, managed to get a quick picture of the bird as it was choosing which bit of bread to steal before we offered. I was shocked but it was funny You don't expect to see a bird in a shop She said It was flying around at first That's when I noticed it

She added Great thanks It was only by the bakery For a few seconds Before it flew off to stand on the aisles It picks something up from the bakery Dropped it and then went flying around the store Great

So is it I assume because it's far more intelligent than a seagull It was able to make its way out of the store It's not stuck in there Oh that's true actually I hope there's some kind of, is there a resolution to this, or is the crow still in the shop to this day?

The crow has now been given a management position. It stocks the bread. We like the way you think, Crow. Sorry, if my internet cut out, are you guys here? Oh. Oh. At the last we heard from Mikey was, sorry, is my in. As he gets Thanos snapped out of existence.

hopefully he's not talking right now. Has gone out, Mikey. Hello. Hello, Michael. There we go. Sorry. That's, uh, yeah, I think I heard he's been given a management position. So, um, yes, carry on from there.

That's annoying. I just dipped out. I was like, hello? Hello? We got a great one on our end. Yeah. What did you get? It was just, sorry.

Is my ins, Mr. Stark. I don't feel so good. Yeah, we're leaving it in, though. It's all going in the edit, I think. It's all going in the edit. Hello, we're back. It was only by the bakery for a few seconds.

Oh, nope, nope, I've read that bit. It's not the first time this year that birds have got into Bedminster Asda, as were familiar back in June. Siegel got inside the store for more than the fortnight, and then a month later, a second, Seagull, or possibly the first one again, got inside the Azda store,

but that one was released sooner. It's also not the first time, Crow has caused a bit of a stir at the Bedminster Azda store. God, they are recurring characters, aren't they? Back in January 2020, Bristol Live told the story of a of a crow locals called

Toby. He based himself each day in the nearby Rope Walk pub, hung out in the store car park, and the trolley area and generally got up to mischief. Oh, that kind of rings a bell, Toby the Crow. I think he was mentioning one of the last Siegel arc. Oh, right, yeah.

And then in the related articles, there's story of Toby the crow, the king of Bedminster. And the last bit here. Toby's antics included undoing the shoelaces of people waiting at the bust. Oh, this is Toby. This is the famous one. I want to know what the crow in the shop got on to. Yeah, what's his crow? What's our crow doing?

Is the crow still there? Come on, guys. You can't leave us hang like this. I'm going to just do a quick search for Bedminster, Crow, and see if there's a follow-up article. Nope, it's all Toby. damn it that crow is really steel in the limelight well our crummy little crow is our favourite today

thank you very much Nicole for sending that in wonderful shall we continue with Peter yes okay I'd love to continue with Peter so we're sticking with an

Avian theme right now I have got a story here I'll just read you the headline Man comes to accept the fact that a random pigeon is living on his head Quote quote in this up heading I've learned to live with it Take it off

Take it off Well this is actually an older story than you might think This goes back all the way to October 1969 Nice Nice and it was recorded at the time by the BBC and shortly I can send you a clip of a video clip of the pigeon

living on the man's head and an interview of the man that he does with the BBC while a pigeon walks around and round in circles on his head but for now I will read you the article in October 1969 this is according to the dodo by the way written by Stephen Messenger In October 1969, something rather odd happened to Glyn Wood, a tax inspector from Stetchford, England.

As Wood strolled down the street one day, a random pigeon flew in and landed on his head. It stayed there as he walked home, the Birmingham Post reporter stated at the time. Nothing he could do would shift it. Amazingly, the bird remained with Wood for a week, mostly staying atop his head. and though he likely could have ridded himself of the clingy bird by some less than gentle means, Wood took a more humane approach to the feathered hanger on. He let him stay. In a recently resurfaced interview with the BBC, Wood describes the odd situation with remarkable grace and understanding. I will now send you the link to the clip

because pretty much the rest of the article is just quoting the thing. So if we all perhaps watch it at the same time, then Mikey, perhaps you can insert the audio in the background. So if we all hit pause, beginning. I've already first frame in. I'm very excited for this video. Oh, this already looks good. It is good. Right. Should we do a three, two, one? Yes. Okay, on play. Three, two, one, play.

Does it seem a fairly friendly sort of bird? Oh, it's very friendly. Very friendly to me, that is. Oh, it's very friendly. It doesn't like my wife. Do you think it must do? Because on Friday evening, out of about 50 or 60 people, it picked me out. But how did you try to push it out and get rid of it? Well, I did it.

In the first instance, I did, yes, about four or five times, and it just flew around and came back on my head again. Where did it go with you? It goes everywhere. Everywhere that I go, the pigeon goes. Off the road, in the shops, greengrocers. What happens when you want to go to work in the morning? Well, each night I put it in the garage and lock the doors.

Why? The following morning, when I'm well clear of the house, my wife opens the garage doors and it flies off. And what happens when you come home at night? Oh, when I come home at night, it's waiting for me. Isn't it a problem when you want a meal? It was at first, but I've learned to live with it, and when I'm hungry, I eat. Don't you find it rather messy keeping a pigeon up top?

Goodness me. Yes, I've gone through three suits and about half a dozen shirts to know. Do you think there's any answer to the problem? I don't see one. If it was all in my mind, I could see a psychiatrist, and that would be the end of the matter. but this is real. I love the... It's really interesting.

The accent he's affecting as well. Like, the sort of the proper... Oh, yes, the proper BBC way of... And you can hear his actual accent slip through, but it's so weird to hear how everyone was expected to talk on the BBC at that time. Yeah, I mean, I'm not being funny, but he says, if it wasn't real,

I could see a psychiatrist and get it sorted out, but this is real. I think maybe you could still see a psychiatrist, perhaps. There is so much that could be done about this, so much. So much. Especially in 1969 when people were probably not averse to just shooting pigeons and putting them in a pie.

So, you know, I'm not saying, oh, I really wish he'd killed the pigeon. But if it really, really, really would not leave him alone and was sitting on his windowsill, pecking at the glass, waiting to get back on his head all hours of the day, then, you know, there are still things that could be done about it. rather than have it walk round and round and round in circles on your head and you're going through 12 shirts and three suits yeah it's quite costly like yeah he's adopted a very expensive pet there and for the viewers at home our listeners at home like it is it is just a pigeon on a man's head

but as he said throughout the entire thing just rotating slowly around his head and it is marvelous it's a real sight to behold i'm not even sure it looks very happy I'm curious about the bit where he said like out of 50 or 60 people it found him did he like get everyone in the church hall

to be like right does this pigeon really know me or like am I his favourite or is just go to anyone how's he sure it's the same pigeon

if it flies off yeah I mean it's unlikely that a new pigeon every day is coming back I don't know I get the impression that this man likes it

yeah I think he's enjoying himself he got to go on the telly with it he's of course he's loving it yeah yeah Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time.

When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tastes like Miller Time. Learn more at millerlight.ca. Must be legal drinking age. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures. And see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, lease a 2026 XE90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Yeah. Well, that's it. I mean, that's kind of a story. I'll see, there is a little bit more in the article, actually. So we'll go back to that. But some of it is, they are just quoting that video that we just saw. But it says, though Woods time with the pigeon living on his head may have seemed indefinite, the situation eventually came to a happy conclusion. So actually, yeah, this is worth reading. After seeing news coverage about the incident, a local family came forward. They recognized the pigeon as their beloved pet Charlie, whom they

raised since he was young. I saw a little boy who had a baby pigeon. Irene Mayotler, Charlie's owner, recalled to the Birmingham Post reporter. He gave him to me to look after. Charlie was now back where he belonged. And there is a screenshot, or not a screenshot, a photograph here of some news write-up that was done at the time. Let me just send this to you guys, which shows a photo of the pigeon sitting on the man's

while he eats something with a spoon. So Charlie ended up back on the right head, according to the Birmingham Post reporter. Charlie, who was known to sit upon Myotla's head, had reportedly gotten lost while on a walk prior to his encounter with wood. Scared and alone, Charlie sought protection from a stranger, a risky endeavour that paid off in spades. Even 50 years later, it's clear he picked the perfect head.

I didn't realize there was that much of a conclusion to the article actually I thought it was just going to quote the video yeah there we go I'm overjoyed to find that this is someone else's pet and they trained it to sit on their head at all times I guess there's got to be a learned behavior wow and it just latched onto a different man because it got lost I was like well I need to find some head to sit on

a head's a head man yeah how come there's no stories of the original owner like surely that Like that was a local legend, like the pigeon man of Birmingham. Yeah. Walked around at all times with a spinning pigeon. And it lands on this bloke and then suddenly, whoa, we're on the news. Yeah. Oh, I'm very jealous, actually.

I want that. Well, I thought you might be, Mikey. I did think of you when I saw a man with a pigeon on his head. I thought, that's a Michael Johnson way of life. Like, I could do, I think, like, half an hour a day of the pigeon on my head. Yeah. And then I probably get a bit sick of it. It's just the pooping.

And I don't have enough money for all those suits. So, yeah. Well, delightful, though. Oh, there you go. A little story for you there. Thank you. Lovely story. You're welcome.

Ben, would you like to read your viewer submitted thing? I would love to. This is a local news story to us, Peter. This is from South Shields. And it comes to us via the northern echo.com. It's written by Tom Burgess. Benji, the South Shields cat that loves old. Aldi and uses human toilets.

That's the headline. Me too, Benji. Benji from South Shields has extended the morning bathroom queue of the Doran household ever since the eight-year-old cat left his litter tray behind. Along with his unusual toilet habits, he has begun to regularly visit the local Aldi where he is often reported missing by concerned shoppers. Rachel Doran, his owner, has been receiving up to 30 calls a day from shoppers and has to explain that he prefers Aldi to his home.

The 32 year old This is the person, not the cat Has taken to putting up posters in the supermarket car park That say, not missing The poster say, I am not lost, I come to Aldi every day Please do not feed me, I have allergies Would you like to see the poster? Yes, I'd love to

Here is, there's Benji He's on his way, there's Benji Benji the Aldi cat, it says Benji the Aldi cat I am not lost Miss Doran said He's an absolute one-off He's always been a bit different

But lately he's been driving us mad His toilet habits came as a complete shock to us It started when he began watching my eldest son During his potty training After seeing Harry use the potty Benji decided he should be using it as well And would do his business in it Which was strange enough

But when Harry graduated to the toilet Benji copied that as well Now there are times where we're waiting outside The bathroom for the cat to finish on the toilet so that one of us can use it. It's a crazy situation and I've never heard of a cat doing this before but I don't think he's like any other cat.

I have seen videos of cats using the toilet but only because I think they've been trained to do so. I don't know if I've heard of one just actually hogging the bathroom. Just using it. Thank you to Kylo on the Discord as well for submitting this story by the way before I continue.

Benji's love for Aldi began in the summer when customers regularly took him to the nearby vet when they assumed he was missing. Ms. Doran added, Aldi is just the other side of our garden wall, so it's not far for him to go, and I think he's discovered that if he hangs around by the trolleys, people will feed him.

I've had people say they gave him some ham or chicken or even went back into the shop to buy him some treats. He knows that if he goes to Aldi every day, he's going to get all kinds of goodies, so it's no wonder he's so keen to be there. What does it say down here? Sorry, there's loads of linked articles. He likes to be at home when it's raining,

but if it's a fine day, He'll spend the day at Aldi lying under the trolleys until someone feeds him. I've now put a message on his tag saying, if I'm at Aldi, I'm fine. But people still occasionally take him to the vet because they think he's lost. He's a very loved cat, and we wouldn't have him any other way, but at times his behaviour can be a bit challenging. Oh my God.

The comments are really good. They're from like proper local news website. website commenters. Right. So we've got Neistem who said another slow news day, eh? Breaking news just in

Moggy takes dump somewhere other than a neighbor's garden. Four people upvoted that. Jeff the chef said Tom watching pet shitting videos and getting paid for it. What a joke,

journalism spelled the SpongeBob Meanway, has become. FYI, Tom. Trained pets have been doing this longer than you've been born, smiley face. Oh my God.

Oh, my God. Garlic bread, I'm not going to read it, but it's basically, calls out the owner by name and says that your cat might be squashed by a car and you will blame everyone, but yourself. The RSPCA should be called in and have a word, your lughole, consider yourself. What? Have a word in your lug hole. Consider yourself named and shamed. Can you, but the RSPC can't stop a cat going to Aldi Car Park. What is wrong with these people?

Yeah. Do you want to see the cat doing a shit on the toilet? Oh, yeah, I suppose. No, the answer is yes. And it's the embedded video at the top of this article. So I'm going to send it so you guys can have a look. You just know that there's an Aldi store assistant that is hanging around a human house and shitting in a litter tray somewhere just to balance the universe.

Name and shamed. Name and shamed. Have a word in your lughole, Peter Austin. Yeah. Yeah, well. We've temporarily lost Mikey, by the way. I think his internet's gone again. But you can have a look at that video while we're going,

and hopefully Mikey can sync back in with us. Yeah, when I click on it, it just takes me to the article, seemingly. Yes, yeah, the video's right at the top. It should be anyway. It's not loaded yet. I think it's just taking it sweet time. Oh, hello. Hello, Mikey.

Hello, I'm back in the room, mind. It's being real fun tonight. It's playing up, isn't it? I just linked the video of Benji taking a poo in the toilet. I'm watching Benji taking a poo. Oh, my God. I did wonder what they're referring. to with the video.

I can't wait to have you both already watched it. I'm watching you right now. Yeah, I've seen a bit of it. He's just squatting on the edge of a toilet. That's really all you can see. I'm sitting through a 20 second ad

in order to watch it. It's better be worth it. It's so worth it. I could send you a screenshot if you'd like to see it. I did see the first frame of it sitting on the toilet. Oh, no, I've got a bloody advert. Oh my God.

I'm just like, yeah, because like if the cat pisses and craps all over the toilet, it's not that you can tell them off, like, who's done a shot in the toilet style? How do you stop a cat from using an adult toilet? How do you stop a cat from using Aldi? That's a real question. Oh, yeah, you can't. Name down shape. Give it a little plus card, I guess.

Well, that's my listener submitted thing there. Okay. I mean, I'm watching it. It's having a great time, but, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, there's a cat pooing in a toilet. They didn't lie. It's just sitting on the toilet.

Just sort of squatting over the edge. Sitting on the toilet, yeah. I've always kind of wanted a pet that, well, I guess cats, the most likely candidate, but a pet of some variety that became a local legend for like cruising around shops. But I imagine it is a bit of a nuisance when, you know, like every week, Benji's off to the vets again because someone's keeps stealing him from Aldi. I mean, he did him discount bread from the bakery section. As we're on the subject of car parks and taking a shit,

I might just shout out a thing that was submitted late by Mike Beauvais, if I'm saying that right, on Twitter. And the reason I will shout this out is because it's basically a two-line story. Ohio attorney suspended for shitting in a Pringles can and tossing it into the parking lot of a crime victim advocacy center, advocacy centre his defence for doing so was basically

actually I shit into Pringle's cans and toss them into parking lots all the time I didn't specifically target the crime victim advocacy car park I've pulled the Pringles prank at least ten times this year that was his defence

I do it all the time I didn't target the crime victims what are you talking about I always shit in Pringle cans well he called it a prankle Is it a prank or is it just like needs must so he shits in a Pringle can or is this like... The writer called at a prank. I don't know. It sounds like ass old to me.

Yes, indeed. But that's the story. There's not more to it than that. So I probably wouldn't have made a full thing anyway. Amazing. Thank you both very much. Maybe Benji the cat can learn to poo in a Pringle's can. Yeah, that would be unstoppable.

Yeah, there we go. All right, and now it's time for my thing. And I have a tale of one of, I'm going to say one of the most outrageous stunts ever pulled in the music industry. It's probably been weirder ones, but this is like a, oh, oh, really, oh, kind of one. So gather around. I've got to give a bit of backstory, you've got to build up to the main event. So listen and sit and relish in the story of the KLF. for ravers of a certain age

the electronic band known as the KLF aka the justified ancients of Mumu aka the Jams aka the Timeloads aka K Foundation aka 2K and aka K2 Plant Hire Oh that's the last one K2 Plant Hire

that's the good stuff they provided many of the dance floor fillers of the early 90s and the KLF comprised of two people well mainly two people had a rotating cast but it was two visionaries and that was Bill Drummond

and Jimmy Courtney and they loved causing chaos which is the focus of today's thing so yeah they formed a band I think like around late 80s they released a few singles they had good success

well moderate success nothing really blew the lids off the charts but then in 1988 drumming and Corti released a novelty pop single titled Doctorin in the Tardis, sorry, Doctor in the Tardis. You're a Doctor Who boy, are you familiar with this, Peter?

I'm not familiar with this, no. I mean, I'm familiar with the Doctor and the Tardis, but no, I don't think I've heard of this. It's a fine song. I think it's just a Mashab of the Doctor Who theme song and a Gary Glitter song. Oh, no. And then some lyrics, yeah.

Right. Oh, dear. And yeah, they released that under the name, the Time Lords. The song was the result of a deliberate effort to write a number one hit single and according to the British music press the result was rancid, pure unadulterated agony and excruciating a record so noxious that a top 10 place can be its only destiny and they were right, Doctor and the TARDIS sold over one million copies

and did indeed hit number one on the UK charts and so suddenly the KLF were quite flush with cash all of a sudden. And so they used this money for a little while just to continue releasing music and they did for the years following. And then, yeah, they went from that to being the biggest selling singles actor in the world for 1991. So they started from the bottom and now they're well and truly here. And as they kind of hit this peak of public influence and infamy,

not infamous yet, they were just musicians. They hit the peak of the career and in 1992 the KLF and Grindcore group Extreme Noise Terror performed a live version of one of their songs at the Brit Awards Drummond and Corti had planned

to throw buckets of blood over the audience or to disembowl a dead sheep on stage. Oh my God. What? Yeah. It takes a turn very quickly. I think there's a few other little bits before this but this is like the first notable like, okay these guys are cookie. It's like that god of war.

PR event that never actually happened where they like killed a goat or you know yeah I think they sacrificed a goat or something and there were like naked waitresses and none of it's true none of it's true it sounds true though I think an event happened

and there was like one very very tame thing something that was like not at all exciting and then it all came all this like fake stuff came out about like oh yeah they killed a goat and they like served up like weird

sacrilegious food or something like and none of it was true oh well I thought it was true forever I don't think so I'll double check that but I'm pretty sure it's like I blindly believe the story at first I'm going to blindly believe you be wanting it

so yes they also wanted to disembow an animal for entertainment I guess but they were prevented from doing so due to a zition from BBC lawyers and the fact that extreme noise terror were vegetarians It's not going to bear enough. Nice of them to respect that.

Associates reason that the plan was to generate such revulsion towards the band that they would be ostracized from the music industry and a comeback would be totally impossible. So yeah, they wanted to end their music career in great fashion. I think simply they just did it because they were getting a bit bored and sick of the music industry and how insidious it was. And they thought, screw this, let's murder a sheep. God.

so yeah when they were told they couldn't do the dead sheep drummond instead considered chopping his own hand off on stage with an axe that also didn't happen so instead the the Brit Awards performance we got this isn't the crazy bit either this is just the warm-up the performance was instead concluded with a limping kilted cigar-chomping drummond firing blanks from an automatic weapon over the heads of the crowd So using an actual machine gun, but firing blanks at a crowd of people. Oh, my God, okay.

As the band left the stage, the KLF's promoter and narrator over the P.S system, proclaimed over the PIR system that the KLF have now left the music business. And so that was their way of leaving the industry. And later in the evening, because it turns out they did already get a sheep and kill it. So later in the evening, the band dumped the dead sheep with the message, I died for you. Bon Appetit, tied around its waist at the entrance to one of the post-ceremony parties. Oh, goodness me. Wow.

Cute. Yeah, so they're making a message. So, yeah, over the course of the career, I think they did come back and do like bits of music here and there, but that was kind of like the end of that being their thing. And across their career, they estimated they made about six million pounds from their music. It's a pretty good going. So we paid nearly half of that in tax and spent the rest on production costs. When we stopped, the production costs stopped too.

So over the next few months, we amassed a surplus of cash still coming in from record sales. This amounted to about £1.8 million. And after tax, we were left with about $1 million. This was the money that later became the K Foundation Fund for the Advancement of Creation. Creation spelled with a K. So yeah, they had all this money lying around. and rather than, I don't know, buying a house and living comfortably for the rest of their lives, they figured, you know what, maybe we should do something fun with this money.

So initially they were toying with the idea of creating a fund for struggling artists managed by the Kay Foundation. But Drummond said, we realised that struggling artists are meant to struggle. That's the whole point. So instead, the duo decided to create art with the money. They contemplated a few ideas After hitting a number of dead ends With art installations and galleries No one was really interested in housing a million pounds

Jimmy said Why don't we just burn it No What Or don't Or just give it to charity or something maybe Or we could burn it And that's

That's what they did Right Yeah The Care Foundation's ultimate resolution for their one million pound problem was rather less showbiz but dramatic nonetheless. The foundation having decided

that making a public spectacle of the event would lessen its impact, they did it all covert without telling anyone. On 20s, well, it did tells people, but yeah, not, not, didn't make it like, oh, look at us, we're burning money, woo-hoo! On the 22nd of August, Reed, Drummond, Corty, and Gimpo.

Gimpo. Gimpo, you know Gimpo, right? Of course I know, Gimpo. My favourite member of the band, Gimpo. You never get Gimpo. You could forget, dear Gimpo. He got charged in the last episode of Pollyett's Gimpo for hiding. Oh, Gimpo, no, Gimpo.

So, yes, the gang and Gimpo touchdown on the island of Jura. Jura, Jura, is a pronounced, it's Scottish, Jura, Jura, they touched down early morning on the 23rd of August, 1994, in an above. abandoned boathouse, they incinerated the money. The burning was witnessed by Reid, who subsequently wrote an article about the act, and it was filmed on a video camera by collaborator Gimpo. There he is. There he is.

He's got a job. It's not just a pretty face. As the burning began, Reid said he felt guilt and shock. These feelings he reported quickly turned to boredom. Boredom. Bordham. He didn't even enjoy it. Yeah, I was just like, I guess at first, like, I guess we're doing this now.

Oh, my God. The money took well over an hour to burn as Drummond and Corti fed 50 pound notes into the fire. According to Drummond, only about 900,000 pounds of the money was actually burnt, with the remainder flying straight up the chimney. Two days later, they destroyed all film and photographic evidence of the burning. but 10 months later, Gimpo revealed to them that he had secretly kept a copy. Gimpo!

Gimpo! Come on. Yeah, it is actually footage of this online and, like, as far as, like, everything I've read and, like, all accounts of it, they did legitimately burn a million pounds. It's not a hoax. They just did this.

So, yeah. And then after they burnt the money, they hosted a three-day event called, why did KLF burn a million quills? and they went around and like they gave people the chance to ask questions and da-da-da-da but they didn't have any answers for why they did it not one they just kind of like the people were there were quite angry and upset at them just like why do you do this and they've got nothing of note to say oh yeah i can see there there is just footage online of it

of them burning and uh god at this at this event um they instead asked the audience why they think they did it and ask for them to come up with the meaning behind it yeah but then i think things got a bit sour and so they eventually resolved just to not speak about it and imposed a 23 year moratorium on the matter um yeah and so in 23 years time they just well it's for 23 years they didn't talk about it didn't divulge any information didn't really do anything about it and then in august 2017 on the 23rd anniversary of the burning the klf hosted another event called again why did the klf burn a million quid and it was the same as before.

People came expecting answers, but once again, they just made the audience vote on what reason they liked the best and then went with that one. Oh. My God. Okay. So this was a three-day event they hosted,

filled with processions, pires and performances, and when it reached its finale, black and white posters began to appear all around Liverpool in the characteristic KLF font. It seemed that Drummond and Corte decided to have the last word and the last laugh on the reasons behind the money-burning episode after all. The poster's read, why, this is all in all caps, why?

Because we are fucking stupid and ran out of ideas, now we need the money back. Brilliant. Love it. Yeah. And that's fucking spelled, F-U-U-U-K-I-N-G. Foo-K-I-N-G. That's the story of how to lose a million quid in an hour. How would you do?

Why, what would, I don't... They were quite, they were, like, they were very, I don't know what the word, wankers. Oh, okay, they're very wanky thing to do. It was like, well, yeah, like, I, I like it. Obviously, I would never burn a million crown pound. I could never do it, but I respect them for doing it. I think they were just quite, and, like, I don't know. It's like, there was their way of sending a message.

Like, they're quite, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know either. I can't come up the reason. They can't come up the reason. They just bloody did it. I think, yeah, this is a general distaste for the, music industry when they wrote the doctor who song they also released a book um called like how to how to write a number one um and like sold like basically like their formula and kind of how they approached

it and like little things you can do to write a number one i think apparently that book did in fact help like um generate a lot of number ones for quite a few bands so they know what they're talking about just don't listen to them financial advice is all that's yeah that's that's a brief overview the KLF at least the most interesting bits the interesting little band but yeah it's kind of hard to get past them burning a million schmackaroos yeah crinking

bonkers I do have clarification on the god of war thing which I claimed did not happen at all what did happen is there was a goat they served a goat that was just they got from a butcher shop but it wasn't slaughtered at the event they did not like

people who were invited to the party were not invited to eat warm off or from its stomach, as reported in the tabloids, and yeah, basically people who didn't even attend the event had done all these write-ups about how horrible it was, but I think the most of that happened is a goat was served up on the table. Sounds delicious. Yeah. Wonderful.

Well, I believe that's everybody's things. Plurals. Thank you very much, guys, for your things. And thank you listeners slash viewers for your things as well. There is some sort of shop, and it's very exciting because there's a new thing there, Michael Johnson. You're darn Tootin. If you head to your web browser of choice and type in that bar, Vidiotsofficial.com and navigate over to that lovely little shop button. You will be presented with a veritable bouncy of Vidiots goodies, including T-shirts, including the new Gravy Bowie.

Oh, yes. Treat yourself. It's Christmas. Oh, we've also got, oh, I thought my brain would come up with something else. It's spooky Christmas. Ooh, ooh, ooh. We got that. And also all your all familiar favourites, beans time, potty, it's legends, that VES1 logo, all on hats, hoodies, stickers and more.

So go check it out. That's vidiatesofficial.com and click on shop. Absolutely. We have a YouTube, a Twitter, a Facebook, all.com forward slash vidiots. Of Discord, where we picked a couple of today's listener submitted things from, is Vidiottsofficial.com forward slash Discord. Go join. Say hi to the listeners.

Hang out. Thank you to Tommy and Fleckers, who moderators there, by the way. Really appreciate you guys. And Twitch.tv. 4.S. Vidyats official, that's where we streamed the Vidyat's Reunion 5 and where we very occasionally do streams as well, so why not give it a follow. So you can be notified as and when we go live.

Poddiots.com is where you need to go. Donate three pounds. You'll get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast, and you'll join Pod Squad, and we'll really appreciate it. A reminder that this is your last call for Christmas shoutouts because next episode will be the final one of the year. Mikey, can you take us through yours again, please? The generous, your wifu, but with a pee-pee,

Brian Butterfield's Pizzer, Michael, put that down now, rocks the fox, Bebe, be, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I still love you, Kaeline. Please come back and Jack Mehoff. We've also got Chris My Ass. Kirby Blurby, Herbie Derby, the very generous return of the ball bag,

the very generous Alexa remembered to donate. Cheers for that, which was from an early one. Rangrop Joy and Donak 07. And finally we have Happy Blobs Giving, Stephen Skodes Caroline I Buried the Cat Lard Breedtovich ordered water

But Got Puyol At Dave on X Crunch Diz nuts Corn flakes Do your fellas like ladies Ladies nuts I got them And Mr Macca

Thank you very much Pod Squad for this week Poddiots.com 3 pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show Peter what's out on Vidyats this week

5 years ago Well, I'll tell you We have got RDR2 Horse Cliff Diving Challenge The one that made my mum sad Oh yeah Podiat's episode 22

Quackadakadak Vidy it's live Twitch stream Spirri-Reignited trilogy number one It's the meme See Pokemon Let's Go Evie Worst games ever

Biker Mice from Mars 4-8-76 Power Armour edition unboxing Vidiates live Twitch stream Mikey's drawing things Podiat's episode 23 The Terragraph Merry Christmas Johnny

unlisted video with 10 news Merry Christmas Johnny Merry Christmas Johnny Videoitz live Twitch stream Spire Reignited Trilogy number two Worst games ever Zena Warrior Princess And I think that takes us

Yes that's it That is it for now Wonderful Mikey Whereabouts are you on the internet If people want to find you At Parrot Boy on Twitter and Instagram

that is the best place to keep up with what it is I'm doing these days. Lovely stuff. And Peter, where are we? You can find myself at That Peter Austin on Twitter and Instagram. And you can find Ben at Confused underscore Dude on Twitter. But you can find us both at Team Triple Jump on Twitter, but more importantly, on YouTube and Twitch, all at Team Triple Jump,

where we are doing live streams and playing video games and doing challenges with Rules Boss and Billy Ray Walrus is there. and we cook food and play worst games ever and all kinds of things. We do indeed. Why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice? It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms and we'd really fucking appreciate it like an awful lot because you can do that for free.

It doesn't cost no money and it would be a great way to give back this holiday season. Guys, do we have a final question before we go? What advent calendar do you have? Oh, did your mum buy it for you? Look after yourselves, everybody. We'll see you in a couple of weeks' time for the final pottyots of 2023. Goodbye. Bye.

Goodbye. Thank you. Thank you.