Podiots - Podiots: Episode 137 – Houston, We Have A Porridge

Episode Date: January 13, 2024

Peter’s recounting some of Yorkshire’s strangest tales, Mikey’s brought porridge, and Ben’s making friends with Switzerland. Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://podiots.com/ Visit our shop FOR BRAND NEW MERCH! - https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop ------------------- Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Support Ben and Peter: https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump YouTube: https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/ Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Happy New Year! Yahoo! Welcome back, everybody. New Year, same poddiots. How you doing, guys? I'm great. Yeah?

Yeah. Great. We're all winding back up. We forgot to find a blobby before we recorded. It shows how rusty we are. Yeah. We didn't even remember what time the episode goes out. Is it, does it go at 1pm or 3pm?

Not sure. Who knows? It's fucking one of years. I actually had a proposition for you guys. Feel free to veto. I'm just bringing it as a topic of conversation. I'm not necessarily suggesting we do it. Obviously, we were obsessed with Dave Benson Phillips.

Yeah, see, I thought about this the other day. I know what you're going to say. Okay. We left him out of it. We pivoted to Blobby. Last year was the year of Blobby. Do we, to keep things fresh, because we're so state. Do we pivot again to another beloved sort of 1990s obscure UK television children's champion for 2024?

We could do, but it would have to be some... I mean, surprisingly, Dave was deep enough of a well that we didn't seem to quite run out of Dave Benson Phillips's. Mr. Blobby is a bottomless well of photos. There will never be not a new blobby, because in the Fortnite... it takes us to do an episode there's probably been a new photo of him for some reason doing something so it would have to be someone who has been heavily photographed maybe noel edmonds is is that's too blobby adjacent though it is isn't that's the problem we're going to start afresh we've got to go far away from the blobby family we could do boo cakes we could go for nil boo cakes yeah there

might be enough of him standing next to big giant novelty pencils and stuff are you guys open to the idea, or would you rather stay in the safe shores of blobdom? I think I'm getting a bit. Well, I'm not tired, but I think we're starting to exhaust the pool and like... Getting a bit bloved off. Yeah, it's just like, it's good. But we're starting to eke into the, like, the horror side of blobby. We're like, all the ones we find now are just a little bit off-putting, a little bit scary

in some ways. And while I would love to really explore that cavern, maybe we should go over something a little bit more wholesome. I'm not opposed to Neil. And also, like, you get classic, you know, TV Neal and Modern Neal who's like in, yeah, Hardcore Rock. Modern Neal is like, he's kind of sexy. Have you seen him recently?

Yeah, he is. Yeah. Hang on, let me send you a sexy Neal. We could, we've got some like real, oh, it's the smolder on, on like, middle-aged Neil is, it's something, isn't it? Yeah. Some real, some real, some real Dilf energy there, right? I don't know if he has children, but, uh, sure.

Um, the thing is, scrolling through. photos of Neal, other than the Smolder, the ones where he's in his art attack jumper are all very similar. It would look like we're doing the same Neal every week. Oh man, it's a good

point. Remember when I discovered that there were different Niels for different international markets? Maybe we could do a different Neil every fortnight. I quite like that. Yeah, let's see all the parallel universe Niels. Are there enough Niels? So from next episode on

we're doing this is the year of art attack this is an art attack on poddiards we can and we can do any interesting

neels we can find where he is holding a huge paint brush like I've just seen more he's standing in front of a plane on a

yes I saw that one too on a runway for some reason so there's enough if it's just a general art attack photo maybe we could do one or two

of the head Spanish Neil last year was a big year for us in terms of meeting our heroes right? Yeah.

He's still yet to meet. Maybe this will manifest some quality kneel action. Blobby, we didn't manage that. But as we've discovered, it is actually just a man inside, a gorilla suit inside the Mr. Blobby suit because the illusion was shattered

when they were all up on eBay. That sort of ruined it for me. I thought Mr. Blobby was a real person who paid taxes and turns out he's not. What is that? What have you sent there? That is in the... the Google image search results for Neil Buchanan.

I think it might be him. Which one's Neil? Child Neil Buchanan with a chimpanzee on his knee, a black and white photo. He's got a big plaster on his knee as well, where he's cut himself. The chimps has cut him. Presumns do.

Yeah, indeed. I find monkeys deeply unsettling. That is a scary looking monkey. Oh, it is from neilbucannon.com.com. Oh, he's got a website. It's from his biography page. So I think that really is. child Neil with a chimp.

Wow. Bucannon. Marseille. I wonder if his band, if they tour, do they do meet and greet? Marseille were, that's not a good start, is it? No. Marseille were a British heavy metal band

from Liverpool, formed in 1976 by Neil Bouquakes. Whoa. I didn't realize it was like that early on, wow. And they won the UK Battle of the first band to win the UK Battle of the Band's competition at Wembley Arena in 1977.

Wow. I was Justin for big things. Well, let's check his Wikipedia and see if he is still, even though Marseille are seemingly no longer a thing, is he still active as a... What's he doing? Yeah, what's he up to these days? I did, for the, what episode, what milestone,

it would have been 100, wasn't it, when we were at the Yogscast offices at the beginning of 2022, April time. I did send his website an email, I feel like, and I didn't hear anything back. I didn't have a great deal. of luck with that. I'd never heard back from what's his name?

God, David, David Miliband. I didn't hear back from David Miliband either, which is weird. Yeah. I was referred Ed anywhere. It's fine. Ed, I meant Ed. No, it was Ed, because that's whose photo we had. Yeah, I think it was Ed. Sorry, David was the competent one. My mistake. That's my bad.

Well, it says, years active, 1976 to present, just generally Neil Buchanan active. But it does say that Marseille, broke up, but then it also says the band reformed in 2009. So I don't know if what which of those two bits of information is the most recent. The reform, did they reform and then break up again? And that's why it's saying was or, you know, I don't know. But for the American economist and legal scholar, see Neil H. Buchanan. Oh, right.

It's often a confusion that I have. Yeah, it is. Let's see if they're on Spotify. I think they might be. Yeah, it could be. See if they've done a recent song. Are they on Spotify? That doesn't look like them.

That looks like a very different band. Oh, no. The most recent thing on Neal's Wikipedia article is, in September 2020, due to rumors spreading online, Buchanan released a statement denying suggestions that he was the English-based street artist, Banksy. That's exactly what Banksy would say. I love that.

Well, there's about 10 artists on Spotify. called Marseille. It'll be one of them, but it's not the one I clicked on, so I've given up on that for now. So we're going to try and manifest talking to Neil Bouquakes this year. Yeah. Yeah, I think we should go for that. Are you guys up for putting that out there? Yeah. This is the energy I want to put into the world this year? Just for further confirmation that things might not be going well. Marseillesonline.com. at UK, which was, I think, their homepage, official website is no longer active, but can be accessed via the internet archive.

Oh, shit. Okay. Let's go to goaddy.com. Let's see if we can buy that. Yeah. That'll get attention. What's it called again? What was it?

Marseilleonline.com. UK. On line. Oh, no. GoDaddy's website is bad. Hang on. Let me try and type that again. Mar say online.

All right. Search domains. Here we go. Let's have a look. Right. Domain is taken. So he's holding on to it. Oh, okay.

Right. So it's not available, unfortunately. We could have online hyphencom.com. If you guys want that, that's only one and a half grand. So maybe we could circle back to that. It doesn't look like it's a goer, unfortunately. Never mind. I was going to get it to redirect to potty.

It's... Anyway, happy new year, everybody listening. We're here. We're back with more poddiots. We haven't even got to the intro yet. Mikey, I believe, did you have something that you wanted to share with us? I did.

The lovely Jeff the Mungoose on our Discord service shared a lovely little quiz he made with us. A quiz they made. I'm not sure what they did. are or who they are. If it's Jeff the mongoose. Yeah. I think it's Molly.

Ah, sorry. Call yourself, Jeff, it's, it's, it's, you're, I thought you're a tiny, a tiny mongoose with little hands on the keyboard. Could be. Jeff the mongoose was, I think, a boy, maybe. Don't know, ethereal being, right? There we go. Yeah, but they...

Living in the walls. Living in the walls. Yeah, there's been like a little bit of a Pollyett's rewatch-a-thon going on in the Discord and there people have been, well, mostly, mostly Jeff, but, um, people have been piping in with some favourite old quotes and they've done us a wonderful treat here and they've compiled some amazing quotes from episode one to 61

and made it into a game and let's see who can guess who said what quote I'm going to... Right. Okay. Okay. I'm going to start strong.

I'd love to throw a Boppet Extreme in Hitler's face. Oh, a Boppet Extreme. I don't think that was me. I can say that much. I feel like that wasn't me either. I assume that that's a Mikey. You're both wrong.

It is indeed Peter, which you should have known your infatuation with smashing Nazis. Well, true, but I always forget that the leveled up Bopit is called a Bopit Extreme, so I thought I wouldn't know that it's called Extreme. I would think it's Bopit Pro or something.

So we must have been talking about it already prompted. Boppies. Very good. Maybe that's the next bit of merch you do. Twist it. It's extreme. Poppits. Poppits.

Flick it. How about? Lady cows are shit. They can't fight and they're bad at maths. Oh. What is the context of that? I know. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that maybe that was me.

Yeah, I was about to say you as well. Seems a bit. Ben Potter-ish. Yeah, you're absolutely right. That is a Ben Potter classic. Get in. Yes, it is. Mussolini was right.

Oh, okay. Could that be a Michael Johnson? Out of context. That's not great. Who's the secret fascist? It's me! Yay! Well done.

Congratulations. Okay. There's 23 of them in here I'm going to choose one more and I let the readers at home go and play for themselves afterwards. All right.

Yeah. I'm so fucking sick of this podcast. Oh, that could be any of us. Oh, it really could. I don't think it's Mikey. I don't think Mikey would ever say that. No, that's true. It's just too positive.

If they're right. I think it, it could either well it could be the one of us I mean it could be all three of us but I think it's well

how about I suggest it's you and you suggest it's me and I'll say it's Ben Peter you are correct it is indeed Ben six years six years of this podcast now this is like the longest job

I've ever had that it is and what a pleasure it is well that was a fantastic game did you say that it's on our If people want to go there. Yes, it is indeed. If you go to our Vidyat's Discord,

what's the easy way of getting to our Vidyat's Discord ban? I'm just double-checking now, but I think it's Vidyatsofficial.com forward slash Discord. I think that's how you get there. I will confirm in a second. Do you want to know what was seemingly the final gig that Marseille did?

Yes. According to the actual Marseille Wikipedia page, they were active in various years, but the final period of activity was 2017 to 2019 and the very last thing it says in the article is on August 22nd, 2019, Marseille made his first gig in seven years, but I think it means they. It is the right band.

At Stoke-on-Trent, UK. Whoa, it's poetic. Neil Buchanan wasn't present, seemingly, and I think that was like one little gig that they did and then they seemingly haven't, it wasn't like a comeback gig. It was just a one-off 2019. gig without Neil

Hey maybe we could like rather like we could meet Neil Becannon but we could also help reform the band and get them to turn again. Guys we could be in the band oh my god we could yeah you're right Peter in Stoke-on-Trent we could

make this happen Mm-hmm we could Which member of Marseille are you tag yourselves hang on I had the Wikipedia page open this second year let me just find it quickly Hang on any second now I'm gonna do it Here we go. Marseille the band. Right.

Tag yourself. Are you Steve Dinwiddie? Are you Keith Knowles? Are you Neil Buchakes? Are you Andy Charters? There's a lot of members. Paul Dale, Sav Pearce, Mark... Raylton, Mark Hay, Nigel Roberts,

Lee Andrews, Gareth Webb, Ace Finchum, Rob Brooks or Darren Daz Green. Tag yourself. I'm a total Andy Chart. is you know that is so you I think everyone should aspire to be Ace Finchum to be honest

well I'm touring musician between 2011 and 2012 Phil Ireland on backing vocals and bass I like how Darren Daz Green doesn't have the Dazz in quote marks is though that's his actual full name

Darren Dazz Darren Daz Green yeah brilliant well we should probably stop messing about shouldn't we, Peter? It's been a long old intro, hasn't it? Peter. Why just me?

I don't know, because you're about to talk, so I'll let you go. All right, okay. We should stop messing about. Yeah, it's been a long old intro. Should we run the titles, somebody? Yes, Peter. Okay. Yes, Peter?

Yeah, Peter, yes. Shall we run that music. All right, good job, Peter. Hello everybody and welcome to Poddy. It's the official vidiates podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben.

I'm Peter. And I am Michael. Great news, guys. I managed to do that while making unflinching eye contact with the camera. I remembered it after six years. I remember the intro without having to look at my phone and read it. That's pretty good, isn't it? Amazing.

That's pretty... Sorry, Mikey. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, I'm here to interrupt the devastating news. I just want to say that. Go ahead. Now you're going to remember that intro forever and ever, and it'll never leave your brain. I mean, maybe.

Next time. Next time I'm going to get wrong, probably. It's a good reminder, though, that we do have a video component to the podcast. If you go to our YouTube channel, YouTube.com, forward slash video. It's official. You can watch our faces. As we do, poddits, there's a video version available now. It's not just an image.

We upgraded. It's moving images. I have some devastating news. Oh, no, what? If you go to Google Maps and search Gravy Bay, there are no results. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no, not Gravy Bay.

It's gone away. It's gravy gone away, unfortunately. New name for Whitley Bay. Yes. So we'd like to connect. condemn the cowards over at Google for cancelling with, uh, gravy bay. Gravy Bay, Kuala Lumpur is a suggestion. Is there a real gravy bay somewhere? Wait, what? Is there? Oh my God.

Gravy Bay, Dan Samara Heights. Oh, it seems to be some sort of brand name. Oh, it's a restaurant. Gravy Bay. Whoa. Wow. Well, that's where we need to go. In Kuala Lumpur. Okay. Yeah, in Malaysia. Yeah. Oh, gravy bay.com. Oh, it's gravy baby. Oh, that's why. It's because it's auto-corrected.

I've been misreading it. Oh, no. Gravy Baby is the name for flipping space. Sorry, I got really excited there that there was a real gravy bay for a minute. Gravy Baby, I'd rather a gravy bay. Well, we can open our own competitor now. The gravy bay. I would go to a restaurant called gravy bay.

I would. Like, little taps of gravy on every table, endless gravy. Like, yeah, little gravy trains, like, like, come. through like the little sushi restaurants yeah just a little tubbisto what do you want it's all gravy we've got loads of them

now the only thing that you get if you search for gravy bay other than poly its related things is there was a song called surfing on gravy bay by the tasty wangs in 2019 oh the tasty wang

it's on band camp surfing on gravy bay oh yes from their album Better Living Through Proper Nutrition Fair enough It's a catchy one For sure

Good news though I do have some good news about Google Maps One of the names that I submitted That I'm now searching for And it does not show up When you search Snappy Tomato Pizza Bristol Because it's called Snappy Tomato Pizza Bristol

But Google emailed me Over the festive period To say congratulations And thank you so much for your sort of beneficial assistance with how Google Maps operates because you renamed Snappy Tomato Pizza, which is incorrect to Pottiet's Meat Facery, Feldhoeffer's Presents or whatever the hell it is, Snappy Tomato Pizza.

That name apparently has now been viewed over 700,000 times. Wow. 700,000 times. That's what it says. Crikey. And if you go on there and scroll through the photos, there is a photo of you and I holding hands out the front of it. and a photo of Dave Benson Phillips in a borgland.

Wow. Fantastic. Yeah, it's good. This is, it's easy advertising, isn't it? 700,000 views for what? Just changing a typebox on Google? I don't know. But it doesn't show up.

So I'm really confused about like where this name, who this name is showing up for. Maybe they're doing this to just kind of put us off the send thing. Oh, it's fine. Like it's still called the potty, it's whatever. But in reality, they're like changing it and only looks like that for us to try and to beat us down, but they'll never beat us down. They can take our gravy bay, but they'll never take our freedom.

Well, I was going to say, sorry to give you whiplash by bouncing around, but I do just want to give you the lyrics here. I'm the mayor of Gravy Bay, so guess what? You've got to listen to what I say. We're going surfing on Gravy Bay, surfing on Gravy Bay. Why walk around like a mope all day when you can come out to the place with the big brown waves and go surfing on gravy bay and then a bit later on it says gotta keep the gravy viscous i want to pour it all over your biscuits as they're american could we pay them an amount

of money to use that as our new intro song gravy pay we could do yeah have you listen to it have you just are you just reading lyrics here i've just reading the lyrics it's sold out it says whatever that means oh you can buy it physically on an LP Because we buy loads of them and then sign them and then sell them for way more on our shop. I'm pressing play. I'm going to have a listen to it. Have a listen.

While you have a gravy play, I'll say that speaking of shop, we actually have some new merchandise available. It's new in terms of the fact that it's only been available for about a month now. But if you go to Vidiottsofficial.com, we have a couple of items available, don't we, Mikey? You're darn too.

And if you head over to Vidiottofficial.com and click that lovely little shop button, you will be greeted with our. bounty of goodies. Oh, Peter. This fucking slaps. This is great. I love it.

Yeah. Really good. All right. We'll try to get in touch to them and see if they'll let us use it. I mean, I doubt they'll find out if you use it anyway. But now that we've said all this on the podcast, people will go tatling. So we've got to do our due diligence. All right.

Well, let's see if we get a new intro song soon. But why? Do you reckon I could get in touch with the people who own Wapping? Wharf in Bristol and see if I could rename it to something way funnier. To what? What do you want to rename it to? Don't let me say it. Don't make me say it.

What's it called? Wapping wharf. Wapping wharf. How's that spelled? W-A-P-P-I-N-G. All right, okay. I think that's whopping, isn't it? Like in London.

Not necessarily. Well, no, it could be whapping. It could be way funnier, Peter. What could, what? Am I going with a rhyme here? Or are you just thinking of like, come on, guys, don't make me, come on. Well, I can think of very, there's no one that sticks out.

It could be fapping wharf, could be wanking wharf. You said, well, wanking waff's not very clever, is it? No, not really. Is it fapping? Is that what you were thinking of? Yeah, it's not funny now that you said it. Well, it's just, I've never, it's not really in our lexicon, that word. No, but it's such an easy change.

It turns out there is a geographical district and I can't claim it as a business and rename it. Paulyitz presents fapping war in Bristol. How good would that be though? That would be great. Imagine if it did like you just change anything on Google Maps you could just change the entire name of a nation

to Pollyitz presents the United Kingdom. Imagine being the two businesses, that being root and moco coffee and bakery that suddenly found themselves within fapping wharf. Fapping Wharf, yeah. That's a change of street signs and everything. It'd be a disaster thing. We'd have to go down, wouldn't we?

I mean, we haven't yet visited Snappy's Tomato Pizza and put our new sign up yet. We've had that ready for ages. Can we rename it to Fappi's Tomato Pizza? Podiat's presents. I'm not doing that on my Gmail account. Someone else can do that. Yeah.

God, well, we've faptor. around enough here. That doesn't make sense. It's time to do some selfless, selfless, selfish promotion. If you go to pottyets.com and donate three pounds or more. You get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast. You join Pod Squad and you help us save up to pay the gravy Bay people to let us use their song as an intro theme. Mikey has the first lot of the first Pod Squad of 2024 in front of him right now. The winner of the first Pod Squad member of the Goose 2. Tramble, everybody. Carry the worst.

Congratulations. And we continue with Doddak 07, Lord Brotovic. Caroline, we need detergent. I like that. I like that. They go back together then, I see. Sounds like they've got back together, yeah. It's Caroline on our way home from work or something.

She always listens. I know she listens to the podcast. That's where I put my shopping lists. Chode photographer, Freddie W. Stephen Scores and happy nude bear. Oh, it's nice. Thank you. We've also got a donkey dyed for this.

Shit Stay Nakamura. Extra 50s worth of cum. Kermit the Pog. Mr. Macker. Vinegar Tom. And the very generous ski sky. Who said, my boyfriend, Drew and I love your podcast. And get so excited whenever a new episode comes

out. It's also almost his birthday. Could you say happy birthday to him? Thanks, boys, smiley face. Happy birthday, Drew. Happy birthday, hopefully it's not been your birthday. I think that donation came towards the end of December. So happy birthday. Happy birthday. To you. Thank you. And finally, we have Jens Herman, who is very generous and said, Merry Christmas, my dudes. And a happy new year. Never stop the naughtiness my fellow idiots enjoyers. Keep using words like, Wank, and flip in your donation names the boys secretly want that oh we're gonna get a lot of fap ones aren't we a lot of fap yeah happy new year it's finally a fap away for a week here uh we hope you are married and oh no right one of my new year's resolutions which is not a very grown up one was to not

say the first two words of this name oh well because it's like a go-to joke that I over-rely on and I'm trying to scale back. If you want, one of us can say it for you or you can just say it and it's not like you're making the joke. You're just reading someone's submission. You know, it's not like you're breaking your...

Or you just... You don't want the words to even leave your lips. It's semantics, you know? Someone nearly got me on stream the other day because I said that was my resolution and someone said, have you been... Have you been to... Oh, God, what was it?

It was... Have you been to scream con or something like that? No, it was something else. SawCon. SawCon. Have you been to SawCon? I was like, no, I haven't. I haven't been to SawCon.

And then they said, and then they said, Loll, SawCon, D-N, Loll, Godham. And I was like, oh, my God, I walked straight into that one, didn't I? So I'm trying not to do it. I'm trying not to do D-N stuff, for January at least. then I'll really unleash in February. But someone's actually really gone for it again. Ben's final pod squad member of the fast crew is D's nuts roasting on an open fire. So thank you for that.

Thank you so much. And thank you, Mikey, for correcting me. Scream. Scream. Scream. So is that like to do with the horror film? What is that? What is that?

What is Sorkon? Jesus. Anyway, thank you so much to our pod squad, our first pod squad of 2024. Poddiots.com. Three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show, support the things you enjoy and we really appreciate it. It helps us to keep doing this six years in. What a milestone. Now, I am in charge of listener submitted things this week and you guys have obviously brought your own things as well. We're going to start with the listener submitted thing. I'd like to hear from Michael Johnson first. Sorry, I zoned out right as you said that He's not paying attention

I was getting my document ready was it If you were submitted on my own thing Yes please Mikey Absolutely If you submitted please Look how quickly I roll into this Because of my preparation This one

So prepared We have a wonderful article From a tetchy wheel At tetchy wheel on Twitter That's not another case I mean we're pronouncing a name right This isn't another trigly sign I don't think so. I've always said SETI-Wea-O for that name.

Okay, good. Okay, and let me just open up the lovely article. This is from the Sussexexpress.com.org. And the headline reads, Cursed Sussex painting continues to bring its new owner's bad luck. Oh, no. Oh, no. Or haunted paintings, not fun. No.

A mysterious painting first sold by a Sussex charity shop and rumoured to be cursed, is continuing to blight the London attraction that bored it. The framed painting of unknown origin depicts a young girl dressed in red with a penetrating gaze. Is there a picture of the... Yeah, there we go. We've got some pictures over here. Yeah, I'm going to whack us in the chat for you both to have a look at

and really absorb and think about. I'll stick it in the thread. There's a little bit. Yeah, it looks... She's back, says the notes. Oh, God. It was twice bought from a charity shop in Hastings, East Sussex, last year, and then returned, with those who bought it saying the eyes seemed to follow them around the room

and that they could not live with it in their homes. Wow. Doesn't that, that's normally a thing with paintings, though. They always kind of, well, usually look like, they're kind of following you around the room if they look in the right direction. Imagine going back to a charity shop. I can't live with this in my house. house. I can't. Have it cursed. Local woman, Zoe Elliott,

Zoe Elliott Brown, purchased it for 25 pound, 25 pounds. That's a real. Isn't it from a charity shop? That is a lot from a charity shop. Yeah. It's not even like the frames that nice as well. God. And claim that strange events started to happen almost immediately, including being pursued by a shadowy black figure. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. That is a bit spooky actually. She put the Erie painting up for auction and it was bought by top London attraction, the London Bridge

Experience for 1,600 pound. Jesus, okay, so that was worth a 25 quid then, I'd say. Yeah. Wait, whoa. Wow, yeah. Wait, okay, wait, I'm trying to make sense of this. Did it do.

I was just back. And sold twice, return twice. So I'm trying to figure out the lineage of who had this and how this swapped hands. Someone gave her back the charity shop. Okay, then yeah, Zoyai every bought it. Both returned it and then the charity shop thought, hey,

why are that? People might want to buy it. Because I guess there is a market for this kind of thing. Like, if people want to earn something that is. How did the auction come about? How did you look at this pin and think, I'm going to auction this? Maybe the rumors of it's wanting the spread. Well, yeah, I mean, in the photo, on the photo on the right,

there's a post-it note in the corner that says, possibly cursed, question. That's exactly it. I think that's probably what. attracted her. She probably knew what she had, right? Yeah, yeah. Wow. Sixty-nine quid, let's go. And a percentage of the sale being donated to charity,

which, uh, a charity which offers free and confidential welfare benefits of vice, information representation to people in East Sussex. Lovely. Now, the attraction in Tully Street, near Borough Market, says the painting has blighted it, bringing a chain of unfortunate events. Managing director James Clislingberry said, we've had a couple of floods on the site between November and December. We came in one morning and the basement was flooded. We've had small leaks in the past, but nothing on this scale.

We're lucky that the building is quite robust. So the damage wasn't too bad, but it was a little bit unexpected. Maybe a little bit of a tenuous link there, but I'll give him it. He's paid a lot of money for this painting, so he wants to get his money. He's the hype up the curse, I think, to make it bring in the customers. exactly on the day James brought

the portrait to the London Bridge experience their Wi-Fi went down oh this oh god

it's real guys it's good it's good I like this I like this and then they suffered an electrical fault

all right now we're into The good stuff. Staff then reported sightings of shadowy figures following them, with one member of staff even saying that they kept hearing footsteps behind them. But when they turned around, nothing was there. Oh my God. Two weeks after purchasing the portrait, James went on holiday with his family and he said, I ended up hurting me shoulder badly and we've had problems on the ferry and with the hotel. It was a bit of a flighted holiday to be on. No. God, what a curse. Bloody painting.

Free me from this wretched hellhole I find myself in. In November, the attraction hired a medium to do a reading of the painting in November. She told them, the portrait has links to a hotel in Eastbourne, East Sussex, and that the subject was likely dead when it was painted. What? A? A? You mean, it's a painting of a corpse, or what?

I guess. I mean... How on earth could she possibly... possibly know that she looks like she's not blinking is she looks a bit dead is the idea yeah i think she's just you know she's touched it and the ghost has said yeah i was already dead when that was when i was painted it's a bit weird actually prop me up in a chair and dress me up anyway enjoy using your 4g ha ha ha oh my god uh da da da we had all sorts of funny noises during the reading even the medium was quite puzzled our social media chap said he was watching

TV when he got home that day and it suddenly fell off the wall and smashed in front of him. Oh my God. It was firmly bolted to the wall. Bullshit. Yeah, come on. This is an easy insurance claim. TV damaged by haunting.

And it had been up for quite some time and it literally flew off the wall. It's bizarre. All sorts of odd things have happened. But despite everything, James has no plans to part with the curse painting anytime soon and it still hangs in the reception area of the attraction, which has plague pits in the basement.

Oh, lovely. That seems like a great idea. I mean, how do you even know which of the many, many curses and ghosts are affecting you? You bring in the portrait. It could be one of the plague victims who's making TVs literally fly off the wall, and I quote. Oh, God.

Wow. And the article finishes with, I've gotten used to it now, intent to brush it off. We plan to keep it and hope it can find a happy home here. That's quite nice. They've adopted a problem painting and they're going to see it through to the end. They're not going to give up on it. Until the painting passes away.

Yeah. That's lovely. The already dead woman painting passes away even further. Yeah. This got me thinking about purchasing haunted paintings and where you would even get those. So I went on eBay. Right, of course.

Yeah. I've searched haunted painting. His one. Let me know what you make of that. Oh, that's horrid. The title of this one is quite haunted. original 20th century unattributed oil, question mark? Right.

Haunting. Haunting, not haunted. This is the closest thing to get. Oh no, that's just... I don't know. Okay, right. The description says, in used condition... Quite haunting original 20th century unattributed oil, it's the title again.

In used condition with blemish present throughout. Not terrible condition, though, police see all photos. I think they mean that it's a haunting thing to look at. Yeah. I've got another one for you. This one is called vintage creepy. painting toddler child with original photo haunted house, which is a great title of a painting. And I think you're really going to enjoy this painting. It's just sending to you now.

Oh no. Oh no. The child was dead when it was painted. Seasons greetings, it says. The item description from the seller says, don't know much about it. I mean either. Don't know much about it. That's all we got. That's a, that is the more haunting one of them. the two, I have to say, his big eyes. Oh my God. I'll stick them in the thread. We've got another haunting one. This one is haunting antique primitive oil on board portrait of priest or minister. Again, it's quite disappointing in terms of the description. It just says, I like to collect old things. And please note, FedEx may not get this to you in one piece.

FedEx may not be in one piece when they get it to you. It's true. All their TVs have fallen off the walls. There's not much more about it on there. And I've got one final one. Beautifully haunting signed child portrait. Hang on, I'm trying to save the image instead of copy it. Let him, how about get your peepers around this, this spooky woman. The description for this one is this unusual watercolor is signed to base of picture. Frame is original with some damage as photographed, possibly Victorian, it says. But there aren't actually any haunted things on there. I know probably a few of our listeners may listen to my brother, my brother and me, the podcast,

and they do a section about haunted dolls, where they go on and they find haunted dolls and read the descriptions of those posts. So there's apparently an abundance of haunted dolls on eBay, but not haunted art. Surprising. There might be more on American eBay, possibly, because I think there is a bigger market for...

Did you know that in America, if your house is allegedly haunted, it can knock off something like 20% of the value of your house? Like, if word gets out that you have a haunted house, it can literally affect the financial value of your property because it is more kind of, it's taken more seriously as a general rule in the States than it is in, for example, the UK.

Wow. Would I chance it? I don't know. Like, I'm very firm in that ghosties aren't real, but I don't know. I don't want to, like, bar, commit to a haunted house and then one day wake up in the middle night

and there's just cups of tea floating about the place and getting smashed up. I've got a 30-year mortgage on this thing now. Because then if you want to move out, you have to just pretend that everything's fine. Normally people are just pretending that the boiler isn't knackered. And they're like, oh, yeah, you know, it's great living here. You should buy this place.

We always have plenty of hot water. But, you know, someone's walking around your house and as they're looking into your eyes, asking you about the bins, just over their shoulder in the background, there's like chairs flying around and stuff. You have to just, you know, keep a straight face. just get that thing sold.

The room's a bit draughty. It does lift the chairs occasionally. Yeah. Well, wonderful. There's a little light spooking for the start of the year. Peter Austin, would you like to do your thing? I'd love to. Forgive me, those who spotted me fiddling around when we were talking just there.

I was just turning to relevant pages for my thing, because I'm reading from two books today. Whoa, nerd. Yeah, nerd. am I right? I need to turn to the right page on this one as well, so I'm still not prepared, but there we go. So somebody very kindly sent in this book, I will read the title in a minute for people who are listening, on the TAT appeal, the Triple Jump TAT appeal, unfortunately, I didn't write down their name at the time, and then the TAT appeal is like hours long, and so I don't know

where I would even find the bit where we opened this. So if this was you, make yourself known. thank you to somebody for sending in Yorkshire's strangest tales extraordinary but true stories written by Leonora Rustomova What a name So there's all sorts of stuff in here

Most of it is like Just kind of historical But a little bit of it is kind of semi-supernatural stories And there is something in here I was already aware of this as a As an object and a concept, but I've never brought it.

I don't think we've ever talked about it on Pollyett, so I thought, hey, yeah, that's a good idea. So, let me tell you about a hand of glory. Does that mean anything to either of you? You know what a hand of glory is? No, I don't think so foggy. Well, here we go. Sitting in a museum atop a salt-blown hill in Whitby, North Yorkshire,

is the only known hand of glory remaining in Britain, An essential part of a superstitious burglars kit until the early 19th century, a hand of glory is a mummified human hand, severed at the wrist, and said to have magical powers. Oh, God. So this could be, I mean, we're basically doing a spookier so far, aren't we? We've done the haunted paintings. Now we're on to severed hands. You know, enjoy this one in October as well, I guess.

You can have a re-listen to this episode. Folktales and legends, as usual, give differing accounts of the power of these hands. Common conceptions are that the hand could open locked doors and that if the bearer ignited it while reciting an enchantment, the hand could send all inhabitants of a dwelling into a deep unwakable sleep, useful for underhand deeds such as plundering and looting. I will now send you guys the photo of the hand of glory that you can see in the Whipby Museum. So there were previously a few of these, were there?

Yes, these were things that were sort of made by superstitious people. Crispy hand, yeah. Now, the reason I've got two books here is that I have a second book on my own personal bookshelf. I need to not lose my page. That has said enchantment in it written down. So that is not included in the Yorkshire Strange Yorkshire Tales thing. but this book says that the enchantment goes Let those who rest more deeply sleep

Let those awake their vigils keep O hand of glory shed thy light Direct us to our spoil tonight So that's what you would say Let me, oh Jesus, I've got no room Okay, let me continue So opinions on how to ignite a hand of glory vary. Some tales report

that a candle made from the flesh of the original owner, that is the person whose hand was chopped off, as well as wax and sesame should be placed in the clenched hand and lit, while others suggest that the actual fingers themselves are lit. But

burglars beware, if one of the fingers refuses to light or goes out then one of the inhabitants is not asleep. Hmm. Another common belief was that a lit candle in the hand would shine, only for the holder, allowing them to see in pitch darkness, while others could not even see the candle.

This gave rise to claims that invisibility was one of its powers. It was also thought that you could only put out the flames on the hand with blood or blue milk, which is skimmed milk, excuse me? Skimmed milk, apparently. I guess back in the day, skimmed milk was blue. Maybe they just mean blue top from the supermarket. Descriptions can be found on how a hand of glory. is made. Firstly, it must be severed at the wrist purportedly from a felon fresh from the gallows.

So you would wait until someone had been hanged for a crime, I think for murder or burglary, and then you would take their hand under cover of darkness. Interestingly, there are also stories about quite often around this time people would take splinters from gallows where people were being hanged, and they would use that to cure, I think, toothache. I can't remember if you would, like, put it in your mouth or wear it on your neck or something, but they thought little slivers of wood from a hangman's gallows would be good for your teeth. Wow.

Yeah, lovely, right? It really were just throwing stuff at the wall and hoping something starts. Something's got to work, right? Yeah. It's a lot more exciting towns back then. It's like, oh, I have a suck on a slog. That'll sort you out. Yeah.

So the hand that you've then chopped down from a hanged convict must then be wrapped and squeezed dry of all blood and fluids before being placed in a jar of salt. After two weeks, it must then be taken out, dusted off and cooked until completely dried. Please don't try this at home, says the book. Which is annoying because I've got loads of hands in my chest freezer. You were talking at work earlier about how much you've been wanting to do this. The most common hand of glory tale is set on a barren moor in North Yorkshire. Accounts vary and are often vague with no particular locale, but two specific and quite detailed versions have survived.

One from 1797 relates to the Spittle Inn on Stainmore, lovely, and the other one from 1824 to the oak tree inn in in Leaming, that they followed the same basic plot. On a dark and stormy night, it is always a dark and stormy night, isn't it? comments the author. on a desolate Yorkshire moor, there is a knock on the door of an inn. Freezing and wet, a beggar enters and pleads to be allowed to stay the night. The innkeeper has no spare beds, but allows the beggar to sleep in front of the fire in the bar.

The owner, staff and guests shortly retire to their beds, and all but the cook, a young glass, stays awake in the back room. Sorry, yeah, she stays awake and they've all gone to bed. Able to view the beggar through a small pane of glass between the two rooms, the cook witnesses the beggar pull out a brown, withered human hand from his pocket. He takes a match, and while in canting, lights the fingers of the hand one by one. Each one flames as if it were a candle. Filled with horror, the girl rushes up the back steps and

tries to awaken her master and the other men of the house, but to no avail. They sleep a charmed sleep. Finding her efforts in vain, she goes back downstairs and watches through the window. All the fingers of the severed hand are lit, but not the thumb, which I guess is why she's still able to stay awake. The beggar moves around the property, through locked and unlocked doors alike, putting things into his sack. When he moves into yet another room, the girl dashes to the hand and attempts to put out the flaming fingers. She throws a jug of beer over them, only for the flames to burn brighter. She tries water, but with no look, and in desperation, she throws some milk on the flames, and they are extinguished. The spell is broken. The innkeeper hears the girls screeching

and descends in time to detain the thief, who was later tried and hanged for his crimes. Good. And then, I suspect the post-credit sequence is someone comes along and chops his hand off, right? Yeah. The story continues again. Yeah. And then, so it just finishes with the potential origin for the whole idea of a hand of glory. Legends of hands of glory have existed all across Europe for a span of 400 years. Some believe its name actually derives from the Mandrake, a plant of the genus Mandragora, which is very similar to the French Man de Glory, hand of glory. The root of said plant causes delirium and hallucinations, and in high doses it can even send the user into a coma, i.e. put people to sleep. In moderation, the chemicals

present in the Mandrake root produce brainwave activity similar to that, in REM sleep and have for a long time been used as an anesthetic. The Mandrake plant is also used, also said to be luminescent. Both properties lend themselves to the alleged capabilities of a Hand of Glory, as does the appearance of the roots, which sometimes resemble shriveled human figures. Some legends state that when a Mandrake is pulled from the earth, it lets out a scream deadly to all who hear it. And it then says that Harry Potter fans will be familiar with the Mandrake and the Hand of Glory, in the Chamber of Secrets, they do a lot of Mandrake stuff, and it's like screaming as they pull it out. But also in that book, there is a hand of glory

on display in Borgin and Berks, a shop of dark-natured magical curiosities, which is later reappears in the Half-Blood Prince when Draco Malfoy uses it to escape the room of requirement after a application of Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder. He slips away using light, he can see while the others are in complete darkness. So there you go. There is a popular reference to Hand of Glory, even today in Harry Potter.

But you can go to Whitby to look at the one known Hand of Glory that was, I think it was found in like a wall cavity or something. Did it say in the book where it was found? But I can't remember. But there you go. That is a spooky tale

of a real artefact, something that people used to create. Of course, it didn't do anything, I'm sure, but people had belief in this sort of thing and would actually go out of their way to pickle a hand and light it on fire in the hopes that they would be able to steal stuff from your house. Blimey. Well, thank you very much for that. Two spooky things back to back. Very spooky, yeah. So spooky. Thank you, Peter. Well, we're not going to make it three

because it's time for my viewer slash listener submitted thing which comes from Cherry at Cherie underscore Cheroo on Twitter. Thank you very much, Cherry for this. This is an article from ITV.com written by

no one. The headline reads Wix customer parks tank outside Basingstoke's store after shoddy kitchen fitted in home. Oh, Wix. Wix. There we are.

I'll send you a photo of the tank outside the store. It's real. A Wix customer has parked a tank outside one of its stores demanding a refund as he says he had a shoddy kitchen installed in his home. Paul Gibbons from the Hampshire Village of Kingsclair paid £25,000 for his home to be fitted out with a new kitchen in February. Last year, I assume. He says it has been played with issues from mould under his sink to badly fitting units with a poor finish. and one heavy draw nearly collapsed on his dog. Oh, God.

He said it left him in a dark place as he could not afford to spend thousands more to fix the problems, which could lead to him losing his home. Mr Gibbons has now parked a huge tank in the car park of the Basingstoke store in protest and says he won't move it until the kitchen is removed and he gets his money back. Paul Gibbons said,

Grumbling wasn't enough. It got to a stage where I nearly lost my house in November. I just had enough. I thought, what can I do to make people sit up and listen and to protect people from being in the same situation. It feels as if whatever you do isn't enough, but this is legal and it's going to be enough, hopefully. The Abbott self-propelled gun is decommissioned

and was borrowed from a friend who lends it to people who want to protest against big companies. What the hell? It's the tank of shame. When big companies don't do what they're supposed to do, you can come and park it outside their lot, Mr Gibbons added. the big people can always push down the little people because we can't afford it.

Mr Gibbons said Wicks sent fitters around to rectify the problems but they would not pay to fix everything to his satisfaction and now he feels like he is in limbo. He took out a loan to get the work done so he could rent it out but okay so he's a landlord. My sympathy decreases slightly. But now cannot pay back the loan and is at risk of losing his house. He said there's a huge chance I could lose it in April

because I can't get it remortgaged because it hasn't got a functioning kitchen. A wick spokesperson said, we are aware of the situation at the Basingstoke store and would like to apologise for any inconvenience that has been caused to shoppers visiting the store. Our customer relations team is in contact with the customer to discuss their installation and we are also arranging a full and independent inspection to be completed by the furniture and home improvement ombudsman to help us understand what is required to resolve the issues associated with the installation, it says. And that's the end of the article, the tank of shame outside the baby stoke's...

Well, the article makes no mention of the fact that a sign has been stuck to the tank, which has Wix written down vertically. Is it called an acrostics, I think? Where you use the first letter of a word vertically, like you do it in primary school, like poems and stuff. And the backronym of Wix is warning, incompetent, complacent kitchen equipment supplier. And then there's an angry emoji, which is very good. I like that. Really good.

If anything, it would make me want to go to Wix to see the tank. Yeah. Well, I can see why this is done. You know, it's clever. Like, it's legal. Well, they say it's legal to just park a tank in the car park. That's what he said. It's always going to make at least the local news, if not national.

Yeah. So. Who the hell has a mate who has a tank that they just loan out to people looking to protest? That is, I mean, that's... Specifically for protests. Yeah. That's kind of cool. I like the idea.

idea the tank of shame. It's good. Shame is a landlord, but, um, I mean, the landlords have tanks now. They're unstoppable. So this is it, boys. I have Googled the tank of shame and I can't find anything. I can't find. I want to know, I want, I also want a friend who will loan me tags. Uh, I're a tank for a day. Like, you, like, the lot of them are road legal. Like, you can drive them around. Whoa, tank limo. Tank limo. What? You can turn up to your prom in the tank. Wait, hold on.

Let me find a tank limo. This is an absolute beast of a limo. Oh my God. I mean, it's not a limo. It's a tank. It's just a long tank. My God. Can I see the long?

Is it actually long? Well, it's, yeah. I mean, to be honest, I don't know what the regular length of a tank is. And the image is going to take a little while to send, or is it? Is it a tank with five base? Okay. That's kind of long. Yeah, that's pretty long.

Get a good like 15 people long. That's a long time. I don't think it's been adapted there. I don't think it, I think that is just probably how the tank comes. That's just the length of that boy. Yeah, for sure. Wow.

Wow. Okay, well, turns out tanks are quite easy to get a hold off. Who knew? That's a UN tank. It's all painted white. Do you remember when Hat Films went on those tanks for some kind of brand deal shoot? And they were all told that they had to shave their facial hair or, or at least, you know, a moustache was the maximum they could have.

I seem to remember them being really uncomfortable with that that they were forced to shave their facial hair for it. I didn't know that they were forced to shave. I don't remember that. Why is that? Is it fire risk? It was a sort of a period appropriate facial hair allowance for the armed forces, I think. Oh, I see.

Oh, wow. Wow. So it was moustache or nothing. I seem to remember. Someone was. Yeah, that sounds about right. But, yeah. Well, there we are.

That's my. listener submitted thing, go and see the tank outside Wix in Basingstoke and send us photos. We'd love to see that. The Pollyx presents the tank outside of Wix. The tank outside Wix in Basingstoke. Michael Johnson, do you have a thing? I absolutely do have a thing. Would you both like to hear my thing?

I'd love to. Yeah. Just over half a century. I saw it off a bit sexually. Just over half a century. again. Let me try that again. Just over half a century ago, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins were travelling towards Earth's satellite in the history-making Apollo 11 mission. They had launched from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida on July 16th, 1969, with Armstrong,

nice, with Armstrong uttering his immortal words, this is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Yeah, a big step. Big step, small step. So it's kind of cool. I don't know. I think maybe something cooler happened on that day, maybe down on Earth around then. I mean, I bet Buzz Aldrin said something like,

hey, listen to this. And then he, like, ripped a wicked fart on the other. I don't wonder who did the first fart in space, probably the first in space. And he's recycled their suit. It's just going round and round. I'm trapped. Beautiful.

yeah while while they were up there doing the space nonsense um they received a crew briefing on day three of their trip in which they got daily updates of what was going on down on earth and uh kind of you know gave stuff that was related to the interest of the people on board so they had a little connection to home um and uh on day three the briefing ended with uh the result of a porridge eating competition held in corby oh they were like houston everything's you know got the samples we're doing this doing that but please for the love of god let me know i've been wondering who won i've got good money on this competition michael is this like the start of a movie where it's it's zoomed all the way out and it's like there's this big thing that's happening but we're not paying attention

to that today and then it just goes and zooms in and corby yeah we're in corby boys fantastic transition. Thank you. Well, I lifted all that from a lovely article in the Northamptonshire Telegraph. Oh, okay. This is an article from a couple of years ago, and the headline reads, Out of this World Corby Porridge Championship to be recreated 50 years on. So, yeah, they say that, I don't know how they swung this. There's not much on the internet about this of a porridge eating competition. But they say at the end, they did this to raise the profile of the town's

Harland Gathering. Right. How the hell do you get in contact with NASA and say, oh, you could, lads, could you read out our porridge eating competition on your spaceship? So that's what, so they, they got, they got the information relayed to the spacemen

in order to raise awareness. That was the whole, wow, okay. Someone at Earth calling in and, and, yeah, let them know what was going on on Earth that day, and this was part of it. And, yeah, they somehow, I should, like, wrangle the way into it, which no one talks about. They just kind of say, oh, yeah, they did it to help promote their village fate, essentially.

But we continue. So reports say that Irishman John Coyle took the title after eating a whopping 23 bowls of instant oatmeal in just 10 minutes. Oh, my God, that's a lot. It is a lot. That's more than two bowls a minute. Oh my God. Wow, that is impressive.

Like porridge, just like a regular dose of it, it's pretty filling. Like, I can't even look at porridge for like a week after I eat it. But, good God, 23 one day. Go on Juncoil. And pretending we're in 20, 2019 here. And tomorrow, hungry diners will take on the breakfast battle once more at the Hungry Hossy Cafe in Dale Street. I'm going to send you What's a hossie?

Well, I think it's supposed to be like horsey The hungry hossie I'm going to send you a picture of the outside And the sign of this wonderful establishment It is It's a delight It's a delight Oh, that is a hungry hossy

Why is there a photo of beard meets food there? Oh, well, I mean, we'll get into why he was there as well This is famous huge Oh, is he just demolished the record because he's a professional eater. Well, not quite that record. There's another hungry hossies known for something. There's as many tangents to this thing.

Okay, just so much going on. I've decided to name this episode the rubbish title of Houston We Have a Porridge. Okay. Love it. Oh, God. What about? Go on. Horstyn, we have a problem.

Horstyn. Or hoston. whichever you like hungry houston we have a problem any any sort of uh combination but i do like we have a prorage that's good i like i my votes for houston we have a porridge it's not very good is it i thought that's why it's so good is it houston we have a podch plum no that is it's just got to be houston we have a porridge surely yeah i'm trying to think of other porridge words all i'm absolutely shit we'll think on it yeah we'll get there uh cafe owner Shillane Crabtree said, I am really excited for it.

I knew nothing about it being read out in space, but it's a fantastic piece of history. If you're going to host the porridge-eating competition, do your research. Yeah. Are we sure that this actually happened, or did they just invent this? Because, with all due respect, look at that cafe. Well, literally the next bit I'm about to read out is the official transcription of the NASA communications log. so this is this definitely happened unless someone's paid off NASA big time and got them to like scrub all the documents and put it in there after the fact okay I want to believe this

is real uh so it's like this section of the transcripts basically like a huge block of text basically of the the person on earth reading out news updates and little messages and all this stuff um and then it ends and in corby english i've got to do my best like 1960s american accent go on oh why did i do this to myself I didn't have to do this. You really need your bed here, haven't you? Yeah, I'm going to lie in it. I'm going to get real cozy in it.

And in Corby, England... No, I can't now. No, I can't. Four words, all I can muster. That's awful. Come on, you got... Come on. And in Corby, England, an Irish man, John Coyle,

has won the world's porrish eating championship by consuming 23 balls of instant oatmeal in a 10-minute time limit from a field of 35 other competitors over. And then one of the astronaut replies, I'd like to enter Aldrin into the oatmeal eating contest next time. Home. Is he, uh, this is the home people?

Is he pretty good at that? He's good. He's doing his share up here. You all just finished your meal not long, didn't you? I'm still eating. Okay. Is that? And then he interrupts.

He's on his 19th bowl. They're having japes up there in space. They're having a great time. Got to pass the time somehow. So, yeah, this, this did happen. I'm going to believe the transcript. I want to believe it's true. And so the contest, which was hosted in 2019,

is going to be hosted, well, was hosted by BBC Radio Northampton, starts at 8.30 a.m. With pipers piping the contestants in at about 8.15 a.m. in the morning. Wow. That's very early for pipes. That is very early for pipes. Very early for porridge. Or maybe the best time for porridge.

Don't know. Speaking of time, I'm looking at the hungry hossy photo again. I like that on their opening hours, it just says PM Monday to Thursday. They've like painted over what number PM it used to be. Because it says 6am to 1pm, Friday to Saturday, but the next to Monday to Thursday it just has the letters PM. They haven't decided yet. Still figuring that out.

So imagine you heard this like the week before the competition. This this porridge eating competition, which was once in space and had, you know, 35 contestants battling the way through it. And in the 50 year anniversary, four contestants have already signed up. Oh. With space for two more.

So, yeah, mid-days before the big revival, only managed to get four people to sign up to eat porridge, which I think is quite sad. Come on, guys. And you also need... It's quite impressive that they managed to get 30-odd, people to do it on the day. Oh, I suppose it wasn't necessarily on the day of the moon landing. Was it specifically the day of the moon landing? It was, it would be three days after they

took off. Right. So I think it's four days to get there. So yeah, fair enough. For a porridge contest. Yeah, but if it had been on the day, people are like, stay home, watch the moon landing, like major televised event or go eat 20 balls porridge. Go eat porridge, man. John says he's going to try and eat more than 20. I don't believe him. They're only open until PM. I'll get down quick and they were also looking for two adjudicators for the competition as well so the hungry hossy really smashed out of the park

organising this thing they will try and smash their way through as many bowls of porridge as they can in ten minutes which Shillane said will be made with whole milk to make the consistency thick and creamy I saw like at this point like it was a bit more about the competition later on

but I wanted to go down the hungry hossy and see what was hanging there because that's quite an interesting place. The cafe, which was 2019's Northamptonshire Telegraph Cafe of the Year. Whoa. Wow. It's famous for its The Big One Breakfast,

a 7,500 calorie challenge which only a handful of people have finished. Wow. Let me send a picture of a contestant with their big ball of breakfast this is astronomical

I'll let that go through Astronautical I see what you did there Astronomical Ah, hey! That's going to send slowly Oh no, there we go It's

bow That's a lot of bread toast There's so much toast It's like a loaf of bread They haven't even got Hash browns, they've got potato grids in there

hash browns aren't you know those fish fingers well I have I think they're the hash browns aren't they at the back oh are they I have all the ingredients

in front of me and I'm going to list all of them and see at what point you start to feel sick do the butterfield voice please Michael oh don't maybe

hey if you want it in Butterfield I think we have to hand it over to the master do the 1960s American Butterfield yeah go on go on Michael I may need a new Nope. That's impossible. It can't be done.

I mean, no, what does, no, it just, it's getting worse. You can hear the conflict. It's amazing. It's two people fighting over the voice. It just doesn't compute in your head, does it? No. Ben, would you like to do the honest? I'd actually like to hear Peter do it. Oh.

Just in normal, Brian. Do, do whichever twist on Brian you'd like. Do Brian if he was that guy about to eat his breakfast there. Okay, that guy looks. very excited. The huge breakfast plate consists of three bacon rashes, three sausages, three eggs, three square

sausage slices, three potato scones, or scones, three pieces of fried bread, three portions of mushrooms, three hash browns, three potato waffles, three black pudding slices, three portions of beans, three portions of tomatoes, three four

ounce beef patties, three pieces of bread and butter, and three pieces of buttered toast. Butterfield toast. Fantastic. Hot water. It's so interesting the sort of the Pavlovian response that kicks in

when you start doing a butterfield voice. I feel my throat clench as if I'm doing the butterfield voice as well. It's really weird. Wow. I can't fight it. I'm there with you. Every step of the way.

Beautiful. That's a lot of food. Yeah. And you're right. That is a lot of bread. bread, that is 12 slices of bread, which alone is quite a lot of food. It's an idiot. A lot of lunch, isn't it?

Yeah. I'm not surprised to see beard meats food there. I watch him while I'm eating lunch and the stuff that he does is disgusting. Yeah, I do. I watch his videos while I'm having my lunch, because I have, like, quite sad small lunch in comparison, obviously. So I like to watch what he's up to, you know, eating like 12 pizzas in one city. I'm like, yeah, vicarious luncheon.

This is nice. Exactly. Yeah, I could do that. I could die. So it costs £30 to attempt, which I'd be honest, it's kind of a good deal. That's like a week's worth of food in one plate, so all right. If you manage to complete the challenge in under an hour, you receive your money back and your picture is placed on the wall next to the other winners.

Instead, as with those who failed. And during the challenge's 18-year history, seven people have managed to clean the place. plate of the big one. Like, I mean, that's one person every two years, which is incredible. But oh my God, how physically do you even fit that inside yourself? I mean, that's the real new story here, is that people can eat that much bread. Anyway, back to our porridge story. That was just a little aside.

There's not really much more to say. This is the last of the article trying to promote the article, the event, which was happening a couple of days' time. Shalane said, the porridge challenge is so tough. she thinks even those who had defeated the big one could only manage between 12 and 15 balls but she had some advice for those taking part she said you've got to go at it fast

10 minutes is no time at all thanks thanks chelaine shelley and elaine put together couldn't decide on just one name so they thought they put teasing and then fun little tidbit at the end of the article which is that legend has it that the corby crater on mars named after the town in 1979 took its name

from the porridge tale Wow Yeah So there's a little bit of Corby On the moon And so this is On Mars There we go

Not the moon Yeah I know space So I read through this I was really curious To hear the results Of the porridge eating contest Who won

And there's just literally Nothing on the internet About this Not on any of the Highland Gathering Social Media Not on any other news sites. They just decided not to tell us who won it after hyping it up this much.

Maybe Buzz Aldrin came out of retirement. He did, yeah. He's on his 19th bowl. But while I didn't find out who was the victor, I did manage to find an eight-second clip from the porridge-eating competition. And I like to, it is just the most beautiful piece of imagery that will ever be put to film. I'm going to send it. We can all watch it together

just to really get the full experience. Now, what I need to know, Mikey, is, is this video real or did Stanley Kubrick fake it? Oh my God. I just played a tiny bit and it's so loud. Oh, God. Yeah, me too.

Oh, dear. Yeah, so get ready. So three, two, one. Go. Wow, look at them go. They are chowing down. Oh, God. There's only like four people doing it.

They couldn't get two more people. You said Piper's plural will be there. There's a single man playing the bagpipes. Yeah, there's someone playing the bagpipes. There's an old lady with blue hair mixing porridge. And then there's two judges it looks like. It's just like, yeah, this is like for the people at home we can't maybe can't watch a video. This is just a pan across a little small.

Look, it's the back end of the hossy cafe. It's pissed me down. It's pouring with rain. There's a metal fence, there's four men, kind of slowly getting through porridge. Yeah, frantic old lady pours in, more porridge, and then just in the rain, out of the cover, a lone bagpiper stands and plays the wretched tune. And a single spectator, an old lady with an umbrella. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't even notice them! That's it. Oh, the mighty have fallen. We're going to need to go and cover this, aren't we? so yeah that's that's that this was once talked about in space and now look at it but i don't know i quite like it i think it's good i think it's lovely the guy at the start uh appears to be holding a microphone yeah he's going a headset yeah i think he might be broadcasting his challenge

i mean you might as well if you go there to cover it and there's they've only got three competitors why not just sign up yeah oh my god so yeah There wasn't really much of a point of that story. I just, I found the article something about the porridge in space 50 years ago and da-da-da-da-da. And I found that they were recreating it. I just thought it was quite funny. The culmination of starting it, wow, it was in space. This must be huge.

And then the one shred of evidence that this happened. Here it is. Five second clip. Heroes. I hope they never stop. Yeah. Some say the blue-haired old lady is still pouring porridge to this day. She sort of has to shake it out of the jug.

It's quite thick, isn't it? Shouldn't have used that whole milk. That's what you get. No. Jesus. Well, thank you so much, Mikey, for sharing that space tale with us. Thank you, Mikey. Thank you, Mikey.

And Peter, it's time for your listener-slash-view-submitted thing. It is. This was sent to us by River Fox, but River Spelt with Three, on Twitter, Lucy, Fox emoji. and it is according to Al.com forward slash news man stuck in urn at Mountain Brook Party

loses pants breaks expensive bars and Alabama internet This is written by What? Yeah I don't know This is written by It doesn't say

I did see this video clip today actually And it's quite something but here we go the party go as expletive laden screams after getting stuck in a decorative urn during New Year's Eve in Mountain Brook is the latest viral video out of Alabama

It is a man stuck in an urn He's surrounded by loads and loads of people All sort of trying to help And they're sort of giving bits of suggestions and stuff And he goes like He says something like I've done everything I can. God damn it.

He's really cross. Is there a video component you could... There is, yes. I've just found it actually. There is a tweet. Hang on a moment. We'll include the audio in the podcast so you guys can listen. The caption is, oh my God, this is the whitest shit I've ever seen. And it is pretty white.

You'd be a pretty good judge of that, Peter, given that you were at the top of white people read it. at one time. Yeah, white people read it. I did once make it on there. But yeah, the guy gets very cross because everyone's sort of trying to help but also just, I think, pissing him off

because nothing's working. Also, it's a New Year's party, so everyone's going to be drunk and there's this guy, oh, you just can't get out, man. I'd just try you wiggling. Yeah, I'd be sick of five minutes stuck in the urn.

You guys ready to watch it? Yes. Okay, you ready for a countdown? Yeah. Three, two, one, play. God, he looks genuinely distraught. How did he get in there? How did he get in there?

I don't know. I think he just got in and squatted and now he can't stand up again. I love that this person is dedicated to filming it. They're like ducking underneath people. Yeah. Oh man, he's having a bad one. You got it, Connor, you got it. You got it.

they're saying like take your sweater off it's like I only took my belt off it did nothing his knees are hitting yeah oh god wow bless him oh dear so call the fire department

to break this motherfucker Padgett screams I don't know why he needs the fire department to break a vase but all right as onlookers offer words of encouragement in a video posted by Twitter user Christy Yamaguchi Chimane that is a asked 13 million views and

counting. It might be Yamaguchi Main. It could be Yamaguchi Main. Yeah. I don't know. Gen Z. I'm fucked, Padgett says, as one party goer hacks away at the end with a chisel. There is a separate video of them breaking it with a hammer.

But that's not in the article I don't think, but I saw it today. Others offered him tips that Padgett said were futile. I'm doing everything I fucking can. God damn it. He screams. I already took my belt off and that didn't do shit.

This video has everything in the Twitter thread by Christy. An angry white boy named Connor. Southern accent. Concerned white women that aren't helping. White wine. Some stupid shit only a drunk white guy would do. Playing old school hip hop. An ugly vase.

A woman wearing a fur and navy blazer with jeans. Which is all true. It's all there. Efforts by al.com to reach Padgett for comment were unsuccessful. The ex-account, once called Twitter, it says, of casual Thursday, said they were at the Mountain Brook Party gave a play-by-play of Padgett's ordeal. I think they were sort of live tweeting at the time. There's a cracking sound and the crowd cheers.

He is free. The urn has been chatted and our hero emerges unscathed. Our long national nightmare is over, the account tweeted. People are now discussing the cost of the shattered urn. I'm hearing prices ranging from $500 to as high as $3,000 U.S. American dollars. Earned guy is up and moving around, but now without pants, which were apparently lost or damaged in the incident. Everyone seems fine with this.

He wants a cigarette. He wanted a double maker's on the rocks. I gave it to him, and now he's drinking a... alone and having a cigarette still pantsless in the corner of the yard looks like a friend is trying to usher him onto an uber happy new year everyone stay safe out there remember decorative urns always look bigger from the outside um yeahamaguchi main or yamaguchi mahony has secured an interview with paget to talk about his 15 viral uh his just says 15 viral fame on her podcast but i think it's 15 minutes of viral fame on her podcast, Jorts Center.

Brilliant. Says, we are in contact with the legend himself, and he'll be joining us for an emergency taping of at George Center podcast, at Jorke's Center. It sort of continues to sort of saying, yeah, he, his sicky situation went viral at blah, blah, blah, but that's it. Man got stuck in pot, pot was smashed, and people were crowding him. and we're all drunk. Brilliant.

Fun times. God, that's a great one. What happened to his jeans? Yeah, I don't know. Are they not still in the urn? Yeah, surely they were at least in the urn. They're still trapped, but they did take them off. Even if he took them off to try and get them out,

once I got out of the urn, I would then, I think I would probably want to put them on again. But no, he stood in the corner, drinking, smoking a cigarette on his own, apparently. Oh, bless him. Yeah. What a night. Yeah. Brilliant.

Well, thank you, Peter. Thank you to the listener who sent that in. Thank you, listener. It's time for my thing. It is. I hope you're ready for international relations news now. It's not so much news as it is a recounting of the beautiful friendship of Liechtenstein and Switzerland, which I was recently made aware of because the two are such fast friends

that they often accidentally invade one another and just wave it off like it's no big deal. Oh, okay. So I'm going to get to that, but first I'm going to give you a brief history, a brief Wikipedia history, of the relations of Liechtenstein and Switzerland, which I think it's a beautiful love story between two wonderful nations. So I wanted to share it today. It's also quite dry. Here we go. After the dissolution of Austria, Hungary, in 1918, the Liechtenstein government could no longer rely on Austria to fulfill their monetary and diplomatic needs. At the request of Liechtenstein's government in 1919, Switzerland safeguards Lichtenstein's interests and citizens.

abroad. The two countries form a common economic and monetary area. Lichtenstein has used the Swiss francs since 1920, and the two countries have formed a customs union since 1994 and have open borders. When Lichtenstein applied to join the League of Nations in 1920, Switzerland was the only country to vote in favour of their ascension at the League of Nations Assembly on the 17th of December 1920, as opposed to 28 against. Oh, God. During World War II, Both countries were neutral, which is a big fat loss, right there. That's a big L, quite frankly. It achieved the...

Hey, I'm not taking a stance on the genocide that's happening across Europe right now, said Switzerland and Lichtenstein. We're the good guys. My best friend Switzerland looks after all of the Nazis gold. Yes. It achieved the de facto inclusion of Lichtenstein in the Swiss national supply, though there were figures both inside and outside of Lichtenstein, who used the country in order to recruit.

Lichtensteiner into the Woffen SS and gain public symphony, sorry, bloody hell, sympathy for the Nazi cause which infuriated Switzerland. Switzerland apparently did take a stand then. Right. Both are now, moving swiftly on from that, both are now also parties to the Schengen Agreement. Is that right? Did I say that right? Shengen Agreement? Yeah, Schengen.

Schengen. Because we talked about that. Britain talked a lot about that around Brexit, because I think we were. hoping to be in it or base our relationship, I don't know, something about Brexit economics. It was in the news a lot, the Schengen Agreement. It was also a load of bollocks in the end, as far as Brexit was concerned. The countries also have a common patent system. Switzerland is empowered to enter into treaties on Lichtenstein's behalf if Lichtenstein is not represented

at the treaty negotiations. This power has most often been exercised with treaties involving customs duties or procedures. Swiss consular protection is extended to citizens of Liechtenstein. Switzerland represents Liechtenstein abroad unless they choose otherwise. Before Lichtenstein became a member in its own right of the European Free Trade Association in 1999, Switzerland represented its interests in that organisation. The two also share a common language, German, and are both outside the European Union. Lichtenstein, however, has joined the European Economic Area, has already discussed.

Like Switzerland, Lichtenstein maintains a policy of non-examine. neutrality. However, while Switzerland follows a policy of armed neutrality, Lichtenstein does not have an army of its own. Ambassadors to one country are usually accredited to the other. The only resident ambassador in Lichtenstein is a knight of the sovereign military order of Malta. Don't know why, but it is. So there you go. They're basically best friends forever. Best friends, yeah. Fast friends. And they were roommates, some might say. Oh my God, they were roommates. But the most exciting thing I want to talk about, and there isn't a huge list, but I just thought it was fun to go over, is the section of the Wikipedia article entitled Incidents Involving the Swiss Military, because of course, Lichtenstein does not have a military.

Switzerland has a relatively active military due to ongoing conscription. Several incidents have occurred during routine training. On the 14th of October, 1968, five artillery shells fired by the Swiss Army accidentally hit Lichtenstein's only. ski resort, Malvern. God. The only recorded damages were to a few chairs belonging to an outdoor restaurant. Oh, thank God. It's always fine. Imagine if they'd accidentally just killed some skiers. You know what? They probably would have said, hey,

no big deal, man. It's okay. Yeah. Well, what are they supposed to do? How come what are you going to do about it? They can't fight back. It's just just, anyone could march in one day and say, hey, we especially Switzerland, because, you know,

if we did it, then Switzerland might defend them. But if Switzerland did it, no one's going to defend Liechtenstein, only Switzerland. Only Switzerland. Switzerland really could bully Liechtenstein if they wanted. They could say, unfortunately, your train's been delayed, so your ambassador can't come to this international talk. So we'll go and negotiate for you, shall we? I'm getting weirdly kind of like slightly evil, big brother-vards. It's a bit controlling, maybe this relationship.

Yeah, it's a coercive control. Yeah, don't worry. We'll go do all the borr and stuff. We'll do it for you. It's okay. Hey, we show an economic area. It's fine. We've got free borders.

It's all right? Yeah, you know what? You don't need any of your... You remember all those friends that you knew before I came along? You don't need any of those. You don't need those, but I'm going to go see my friends,

if that's all right. Yeah. On the 26th of August, 1976, just before midnight, 75 members of the Swiss Army and a number of pack horses mistakenly took a wrong turn and ended up 500 meters,

and then in brackets it says, Yards into Liechtenstein had Iridug in Balsers. I've mispronounced that. The Lichtensts Stein has reportedly offered drinks to the Swiss soldiers. Right. On the 5th of December...

They got their knives ready, the Swiss Army boys. They got out of the corkscrews, they were ready to go. On the 5th of December, 1985, anti-aircraft missiles fired by the Swiss army landed in Lichtenstein amid a winter storm, causing a forest fire in a protected area. Fortunately, Lichtenstein has no aircraft, so it was all right. Compensation was paid. I'm assuming they just planted more trees, who knows. On the 13th of October 1992, following written orders,

Swiss army recruits unknowingly crossed the border and went to Treasonberg, that's probably not how you pronounce it, but it is appropriate, to set up an observation post. Swiss commanders had overlooked the fact that Treasonberg was not on Swiss territory. Switzerland apologized to Liechtenstein for the instant. And finally, the most recent one, on the 3rd of March 2007, A company of 171 Swiss soldiers mistakenly entered Liechtenstein again, as they were disoriented and took a wrong turn due to bad weather conditions. The troops returned to Swiss territory after they had travelled more than two kilometres into the country.

The Liechtenstein authorities did not discover the incursion and were informed by the Swiss after the incident. The incident was disregarded by both sides. A Liechtenstein spokesperson said, it's not like they invaded with attack helicopters you know what's it just waved it off wow all right and that's it

that's what I've got for you I can also read the last bit if you'd like about taxation and tax treaties but I don't think it would be that interesting so there's a lovely don't spoil us all at one Ben save it for next episode I'll do a follow up next time

but there's a lovely little recap of the as it turns out actually rather controlling relationship of Switzerland and Liechtenstein and their various military incursions You can do better break up with them You need a new man Switzerland's not the one

Stand up for yourself It's interesting how How like international borders Are like very significant In some ways And also completely meaningless In other ways Like they marched soldiers

Into Liechtenstein And everyone knows that like There was no intent whatsoever And like That in and of itself Was completely inconsequential They were just marched around a bit and then they marched home again

meaningless really on the national state on the global stage but actually just sort of semantically moving soldiers across a border into someone else's country is in and of itself like a significant enough thing that they felt the need to acknowledge it

and apologize for it. It's just kind of strange how human like well how national borders work and And that that in itself is kind of a significant thing, even though it wasn't, if you see what I mean. How much it matters and how much it doesn't? Yeah, yeah.

I've just looked at Lichtenstein on a map, and it's absolutely bloody tiny. It is. I put a photo in the chat there. You can see it. I think Lichtenstein is the green bit. It's like basically a small village, and there's so much of Switzerland. Why did they keep going so close to the border? Like this doesn't

There's something to miss here Like this is they're not The Switzerland's not telling the whole truth They're neutral They're neutral Mikey They don't take a stance But they would actually quite like Liechtenstein to just be Switzerland

Yeah Yeah oopsies accidentally invaded you again Sorry next time there'll be more people If we have any Lichtenstein or Swiss listeners Please get in touch and let us know what you make of the relationship Because I'm sure Liechtenstein has a really rich culture and history of its own

But it's been so entangled seemingly From just an ignorant outside perspective of someone who's just read a Wikipedia article, it seems it's been so entangled over the past 100 years that their culture and, you know, socioeconomic situation may not actually be that much different at all. It's very strange. Switzerland as a nation as well as tiny Liechtenstein,

but like Switzerland, they are, did you know this, that they are the papal guards, like in the Vatican, because the Vatican is like its own nation they have Swiss guards for some reason I don't know if it's because Switzerland is a neutral state and they've specifically picked Switzerland to be the guards of the Pope

but there's a picture of a Swiss guard for you in their proper uniform that's what they wear apparently to guard the Pope it looks like a medieval Ronald McDonald doesn't it yes but it's just weird because you would think Like, if they had to commission guards from anywhere,

they would just pick Italy because it's just convenient, the Vatican being in Italy. But, no, they got the Swiss to come and do it. They should do... And I'm sure there's a very intricate history as to why it's the Swiss. They should do some sort of, like, game show where they make all the cardinals compete in unarmed combat and the toughest ones have to serve as protectors of the Pope.

Yeah. I'd watch it. Yeah, boy. Well, there's my thing. And thus concludes the first episode of 2024. Thank you so much for listening and watching. Thank you for submitting your things. Thank you guys for your things as well. We will be back in a couple of weeks time. As we already talked about at the start of the show, but we're going to talk about it again now. Don't go anywhere just yet. We've got some important things to tell you. But Mikey, I believe there's some kind of shop. You're darn too And if you head over to Vidyatsofficial.com And click that lovely enticing

Little Shop button You will be greeted With a veritable bounty Of Vidyets themed goodies To put on your body In your house Let's go

We've got our latest t-shirts The Ayes gravy-by t-shirt As well as Ah yes Gravy by Corder O'Cap And our new DeFace Google T-shirt As well as all of your

all familiar favourite So go to Vidyatsofficial.com, check it out and give yourself a little New Year's treat. New Year, new clothes. You've earned it. You've earned it. Give us some money. Thank you. I don't have any yet. I'm going to buy some at some point. Yeah, I don't have any of our new merch. I should probably get one too. I don't have any of our new merch. I deserve it too. I should treat myself. Let's all treat ourselves. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash videotervial. I forgot we did that.

Sorry, can we do that one more? I was totally... I forgot we did that. All right. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook.com, all forward slash... Vidiotrificial. That was brilliant.

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it's a long way off but I'm looking at maybe doing because you know adult life is busy I may be going to do a stream in March so I'll see you guys then I'll let you know when it happens closer to the time pottyats.com is where you can go to donate to the podcast you love the most in the world which is this one if you give three pounds or more you get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of poddiots you join pod squad and we love you forever basically that's that's that's that's the contract, that's how that works. Mikey, can you kick us off once again, please? We begin with Carrie the worst, Donak 07, Lord Brotovic, Caroline, we need detergent, chilled photographer, Freddie W, Stephen Scordes and happy nude bear. We didn't do our favourites, did we? Oh, we didn't. We'll have to do them at the end.

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Poddiots.com for a shout out on the next episode of Poddietz. What is your guy's favourite name, please? I liked Caroline. we need detergent. Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. That's a winner then. That's the winner right there.

Oh, a clean sweep. Peter, what's out on video? Get ready for this. Six years ago this week. Oh, goodness me. We do actually have one video that had come out this early in the year because officially we didn't start

putting stuff out until the 5th of February, but we did do an announcement video on the 12th of January, which was yesterday at time of release of this episode and that was simply we are the idiots and it contained a load of just fake videos that like

because we've not made any videos yet we couldn't really do a proper channel trailer so we just filmed a bunch of rubbish stuff well I don't mean rubbish but I mean random crap yeah I mean that's what we did for the following eight months as well but still yeah yeah but

rubbish as in nonsense fake news and put it together into a trailer so there you go video, we are the idiots. Yep. Disappointed everyone because that's the video that went out when the Yorkscast essentially teased the return of Shadow of Israfel, or at least that's what everybody thought. It went out of 501, which looked like S-O-I. Why did they choose 501? Why not five? I don't know. We were, yeah, that was unfortunate, wasn't it? Mikey, where are you on the internet? At Parrot Boy on Twitter and Instagram. Those are both the best.

best places to keep up with what it is I'm doing these days. Fantastic. And Peter, where are we? We are at Confused underscore Dude and That Peter Austin, both on Twitter, and also together we are at Team Triple Jump. On Twitter, yes, but more importantly, on YouTube and on Twitch, where we are playing video games, talking about video games, cooking silly food and stuff. Video game stuff.

Video game stuff, absolutely. Why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice. It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms and we'd really appreciate it. Why not go check out the other shows on the Pickax Network as well? There's some brilliant stuff on there. Thank you very much. I feel like we probably should have shouted out our Pickax contact Sam, who's always there when we need a hand with sorting out the podcast and providing sort of liaison between us and the network. And he really helped us last year.

And of course the Pickax Network itself For having us on the network It's been a pleasure Thank you Do you guys have a final question Before we thirk off Uh There we

Um How many balls of porridge Do you think you could eat in 10 minutes? Good question Brilliant There we go There we go Fantastic

Thank you so much for listening Slash watching everybody We'll see you in a couple a couple of weeks time. Until then, look after yourselves. Bye. Bye.