Podiots - Podiots: Episode 139 – Stay Statham

Episode Date: February 17, 2024

Ben is getting flipped, Mikey's got something in his pants, and Peter asks "Cheese or petrol?" Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://podiots.com/ Visit our shop FOR BRAND NEW MERCH! - https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop ------------------- Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Support Ben and Peter: https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump YouTube: https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/ Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets, product availability may vary by Regency app for details. This episode is brought to you by MewmueMew. Introducing Mutein, the new feminine fragrance by the iconic fashion house. Mutein captures the youthful, unconventional essence of the Miu Mewu girl.

Brought to life by a gourmand, intimate and enveloping scent of wild strawberry and brown sugar accords. Mutein is not a statement, but a knowing glance, a sweet rebellion. lighthearted and laced with wit a gesture made for oneself discover the new fragrance mutine now available in Canada have you guys seen the meg yes have you what did you think uh it's a while ago but i i enjoyed it in a very very silly way i enjoyed it in the same way that when you and i went to see rampage we came out and i think you sort of shrugged your shoulder shoulders and i said oh you know it was all right but in a stupid way yeah Well, I watched the Meg 2.

Oh, did you see? I've not seen the Meg 2, and I'd quite like to see it. Have you seen the Meg 1, Ben, or have you just jump straight into the sequel? No, I've seen both Megs. I had a Meg, a Meg, a Meggedon. What? I had a sort of back-to-back Meg party, and I watched both Megs. A connoisseur of the MCU. Exactly, precisely.

I am a big sort of unironic supporter of Jason Statham anyway, because I just think there's something special about him. he's a special man and he needs to be protected and i like the shape of his head because it's sort of like a skull like a cool skull yeah because his skin's so taut along it and he's got the he's got that sort of five o'clock scalp shadow like it's so he's a cool man and he he's got a great voice and then he made two films about a big shark and um the second one definitely veers into almost like Chinese propaganda because it's all in like China

and there's so many Chinese actors in it and it feels a bit the Meg did well in the Chinese market so let's put a lot more Chinese stuff in I was going to say was it like I was confused like it wasn't made by a Chinese company presumably I was like why would they do that but yeah

if the first one did well over there then that would explain why an American studio would Chinese it up as it were yeah it's possible it's i think they also thanked lots of um chinese entities in the credits because they shot on location and stuff right i don't know what the ins and answer that is but most excitingly for me is that he's got a new film that's just come out right and it's called the beekeeper which i was really hoping was like him continuing exactly him continuing the trend

of jason statham who's like he's out of the game he's retired don't bother him he's just he's just wants to be left alone, but then he gets pulled in for one last mission, except it's animal adjacent. And I thought animal adjacent. And I thought that maybe we'd get more like Jason Statham movies with just more animals in it. Turns out, though, it's not about killer bees, which I was very disappointed about. He is a beekeeper in it, though. And according to reviews, there's like loads of bee puns in it. Oh, really? And I'm really excited to watch it. It's like, it's on my watch list now. It's Jerry Seinfeld in it. You hope so. You like jazz. I really hope so. But yeah, I think he's a beekeeper who's just also really sick at guns, which is peak Jason,

really, isn't it? That's a nice bit about being an action star and growing old is that you get to have like more refined acting rules, which usually you're getting pulled out of retirement from a nice job. It's, yeah, it's what an honor. I've watched the Equalizer recently, which is in a similar thing of big dumb action films and yeah like never seen one before good fun though it's it's the right amount of stupid it's like it's dumb enough but it's sophisticated enough to keep you chewing on it for more sophisticated i like that um in the film piranha or maybe one of the piranha sequels if there are any i don't really know i'm not a connoisseur of the PCU unfortunately but one of the piranha films um they got the guy in who played the shark expert in jaws and

Although I'm sure they don't have the rights to that character, it's basically implied that that's him and he's retired and he's now like on a lake fishing. And I think in the opening scene of the film, he gets pulled into this lake and eaten by piranhas. Oh, he can't catch a break, can he? No, he can't. But also I quite like the fact that because that actor happens to be in a shark film

in the 1970s or whatever it was, he then, in the 2010s or whenever that was, landed this other role purely because they were like oh it'd be funny if it's him wouldn't it anyone could have had that opening role of being the guy who gets eaten by the piranhas but they were like let's get the shark person from that shark film

surely that means that it's in the the JCU as well yeah I think perhaps I think it is implied to be him by as far as they're allowed to take that and say that it's him yeah that's how he dies he survives the giant shark retires, goes fishing

and then gets eaten by piranhas it's a tough way to go I like to think that similar to the Kevin Bacon number or the what's it called is it the bacon number yeah

oh what is it the bacon factor or something are you not familiar with this what is going on these are just words yes this feels like it will be right up your alley

there's like a database of people's sort of how far removed they are six degrees of Kevin Bacon is what is yeah of how far removed they are from having worked with Kevin Bacon. And so every single actor has like a bacon number.

And if it's one, they've worked with Kevin Bacon. And then how far removed they are in terms of having worked with other people who worked with Kevin Bacon, that's their bacon number. I reckon we're probably not as far off as we could be. Because we've rubbed hands with YouTubers and stuff. So there must be some connection there. We've probably got a pretty good bacon number. I would have thought so.

I think we probably do have a pretty good degree of separation to quite a lot of people, who we've worked with, albeit briefly. Peter Serafinovich is, you know, George Lucas right there. Exactly, yeah. Darth Moore. We've worked with Peter Serafinovich. No, we've worked with George Lucas is what you're implying. We've been closely enough.

And that opens up, Ewan McGregor, Liam Neeson, Jar Jajabinks, you know, all of these people who we're wondering. degree of separation from. Absolutely. But I like to think that in a similar vein, there's like a, there's a Statham number as well. Right. Because, and in addition,

because he always plays the same character in every movie, which is not a criticism, he's just found his niche and he's great at it. Just keep making silly action movies until the end of time, my friend. I would hope that the Jason Statham

we see in the Meg is the same Jason Statham, who's in Fast and Furious movies, who's in The Beekeeper, the Equalizer, the Equalizer. He's just like, it's always the same Jason Statham. He's just that good at being a cool man that he's got like different identities, you know? Yeah. That's my hope anyway. I don't know if that's true. Also, you should watch Spy if you haven't.

I think that's my favorite movie of his. I told you my big Jason Stathom. Wow. he plays basically a parody of himself he's he's a spy who thinks he's really cool but he's actually a complete idiot and uh it's a melissa mccarthy movie and it's good it's funny i like it a lot he's the best bit in it but it's good it's a good movie i've just found out that he's not in the equalizer i thought that's why you brought it up my show it was it's in the same vein of big gunmen coming back for a job sadly no yeah yeah anyway this podcast is sponsored by jason

Statham, I think, today. By delicious, a delicious racher of Kevin Bacon. Yes. Yum. Yum. Lovely. Well, that's the sponsor done. Should we do the podcast?

Yeah, might as well, I suppose. Kevin? Not Kevin Bacon. Kevin. Let's have the music, please. Actually, Kevin. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Poddy. official videos podcast it's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home

and obey the law of the three us where everybody brings a thing along to talk about i'm ben i'm peter and i'm michael hey guys hello hello you good very good i kind of like a little call and response we do at the beginning with bring a thing along to talk about it feels like i'm back in assembly in primary school. Yeah. Everyone sing along. Mrs. Chapman. Mrs.

Who? Chapman. Docks in your teacher now. Good luck to find. As you know, that's totally made up. I desperately try to remember. It's good luck finding it. Someone will.

Yeah. Oh, don't be Googling. I don't want my teachers to be pulled into this stuff. We've already pulled in enough dealer celebrities. Leave the teachers alone. Oh, and Reverend Ian Waffle or whatever his name was. I fully doxed him. Like, yeah.

Like, first name, last name. I don't think he's got much of an online presence, thankfully. So the churchman is safe. Jesus. Well, we'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have followed us on our TikTok and Instagram, which is viddiots.official. As spoken about on the last episode, we're going to be posting Clipiates there, clips from podiots and legacy videos from Vidiates,

as well as some images behind-the-scenes images from that fateful year of 2018. The goal, of course, is to bring in new blood. By all means, though, go and check us out on there and share what we post and introduce us to new people. That'll be really helpful, in fact. Tell your friends. And, of course, it's run by Kevin, who is now returned from the dead. We don't know why. He's not allowed to talk about it, I don't think.

But go say hi to him on those platforms. He's there. Operators are standing by. Stop it. Sorry. It's been a while since we've had a bop. Anything's been boppist. So I've had to get it in there.

Well, now that we've got an extra mouth to feed in the reanimated corpse of Kevin, people can support us as well, can't they, Ben? They certainly can. If you go to poddiats.com, donate three pounds or more. You'll get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next podcast. You'll join Pod Squad. You'll support what we do here, and it would really bloody appreciate you. Mikey, can you kick us off before we get into the things?

We begin with Raindrop Joy. Caroline, where is the Lurpack? Umper Lumpur D. nuts nice yummy cummy in my tummy the very generous cool beans

and they say hi boys recently listened to the awful Arthur fanfic episode again and thought it would be funny to write

one about you boys and all the characters from the VCU thoughts want a hilariously bad one a super smutty one prefer I didn't anything goes

I mean the smutty would be the most funny but also I don't know that I want to be that disturbed you know what I mean yeah I feel didn't Booth write some fanfic about us oh god I feel like she did yeah I think she may have done

I'm not sure citation needed but or did she read some that she'd found I don't know I might be making that entirely but if you're going to write a fanfic just make it like a nice day out in the park and maybe one of our hands accidentally brush against the other ones that's as far as we'll take it

Oh, bloody hell. We continue with Mr Macca and Isle of You. Also, sorry I wasn't ready, there is Frogley, Stephen Scodes, Gleddy Bleber's Dick Nick Pick, Quaker name pickled beetroot, Roy's Boys Soy Surprise, Everybody Poops, Neil Buchanan in D,

and Adolf Ham Friend And finally we have Anal Eruptions the Quaker Wolfgang Amadiz Nut Mo Shart That is a stretch Wow Blat attack Caroline Send Lift

I'm stuck in Hull Prince Beefcakes And Yog con D's nuts Some really good ones in there That's your pod squad for this this week. Poddiots.com, three pounds or more

to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode. Thank you so much to our Pod Squad this week, which was your guy's favourite? Yog on D's nuts. What is it to Yog on something?

I dare ask, but that's my favourite. It doesn't bear thinking about. I liked umpalumpa D's nuts, but also I was then really taken by surprise by Neil Buchanan in D. It's a cultured one there as well. you know it's not just it's not just a pun i will go with wolfgang amadiz nut mochart yes that's

just a lot of effort and it was in camel case as well so we could see where it was separated into its constituent pronunciation bits which i approve of very much who's in charge of bringing along listener submitted things this week it's me it's you i've done it i've sent them out to you and uh i can't remember who went first last time but i'm going to say ben potter go first this time with your actually no i think it may have been me actually so remember you asking if you want if it was user submitted or your own so mikey you give us your listener submitted thing i'd be honored uh this one was sent in by wallace spelled differently to wallace and grommet sadly at wallie bob 96 and this is an article from the guardian and the

Headline reads, Missing Monkey Trapped by Yorkshire Pudding in Scotland. Oh, wow. So many turns. We've got, yeah, a real string of creatures being trapped by delicious English people foods recently, and I'm a big fan of it. Well, we have because someone else sent this story as well, and they put in their tweet in the reply,

they put, there's been an update to Peter's missing monkey story. And it wasn't a monkey, it was raccoon. less time so if you squint they kind of look the same yeah there's a lot of missing animals out there right now apparently stay stay stay safe out there kid stay stay stay stay them stay stay them yeah there we go not I mean I'm sorry I'm a geyser I'm a geyser I'm speaking of geeseers this geyser the monkey is called honshoe the macaque h-o n-s-h-h-h-u kind of like the noise you make when you're sleeping honshu honshu shun I think we're that's one of the Japanese islands, isn't it?

Honshu. Sounds familiar. I'm not first in Japan. It is. Well done, Peter. Wow. Gold star for you. Honshu, the macaque, is on the run

from Highland Wildlife Park and was brought down by a love of batter and a tranquilizer dart. I was going to say, brought down sounds like a violent way to describe it distracted by food. He went out by Uncle Fat,

he just comatose unable to move after stuffing himself with blood out. Pray for Mojo. I'm going to send you a cheeky picture of the monkey here. Just, well, it's quite the image. It's a lady holding a phone with a picture of a monkey on it. There you go. Is he no?

Is he a monkey? This is Stephanie Bunyan, who reported the monkey to Hydeland Wildlife Park after seeing it in her garden. Wow, look at you. Two pebbly droppings deposited on her power. are all that Stephanie Bunyan has to remind her of Thursday morning celebrity guest. What an opening line. Two pebbly droppings are all she has to remind us.

Pebbly droppings sounds like somewhere that a quaint English novel would be set. It's where a children's TV program is set, isn't it? 64 pebbly dropping. I'm trying to think. Who's the celebrity most likely to leave behind pebbly droppings? Someone's small. Peverely droppings. Warwick Davis.

There you go, perfect. Nailed it. Honshu, the missing macaque was finally captured in Bunyan's Garden after five days and four nights on the run. And after drone search technology was rendered useless by blustery weather, in the end, it was the Yorkshire pudding that got him. Yes. We will be in there.

Thanks to be proud. God bless the north. Bunyan likes to drink her morning coffee looking out to her peaceful terrace garden, which is decorated with tinkling wind chimes and boasts an array of bird feeders. There were peanuts in the feeders, but on Wednesday night, she put out some leftover Yorkshire pudding. In the morning, it was gone. And just after 10 a.m., there he was at the top of the steps looking in the

wouldn't do. I'd be overjoyed if I saw a monkey in my garden. Terrified, but absolutely overjoyed. You have all the... Also, big question. How is it possible to have leftover Yorkshire pudding? Yeah. How's that happens? Why have you not eating it all immediately? That's what it's for, eating. Yeah, they're journalist Mr. Trick here. I think the monkeys are the main attraction. This is the first ever unfinished Yorkshire pudding. My God. Goodness me. The desire to cap... Oh, this is... The desire to... capture her visitor on camera was powerful. But she knew she had to get hold of Highland Wildlife Park straight away.

Within 10 minutes of a call to its dedicated monkey hotline, call now. No, this has happened before. Oh, my God. Wow, I want to know about the monkey hotline. Is it just like call up and ask questions about monkey? Because surely not enough monkeys disappear from this place to warrant a monkey hotline. Maybe it's staffed. I assume they set it up when the monkey went missing.

There might even be a raccoon hotline in Sunderland. I think you call up and you pick which monkey you want to talk to. Yeah, maybe. Talk to Sandy tonight. Sandy's not a good name for a monkey. Anyway, within 10 minutes of them calling the monkey hotline, the search drone operators had arrived. And minutes later, the parkkeepers.

That's a rapid response. Try getting that kind of response from anything else. Yeah. By then, the macaque was hopping back and forth off the low roof of a sunroom and playing in the gutters. It took some time for the Rangers to line up their desired tranquilizer dart shot. When one attempt failed, the macaque bit it and threw it away. Oh, he's a feisty one. But the next shot was true, and the doped monkey was whisked away for examinations by the park's vet.

Honshu was captured in the house. amlet of inch, less than two kilometers from where he was first spotted exploring the back gardens of Kin Craig. The village nearest the park. During that time the lone monkey covered a considerable amount of ground, roaming four miles to the north of the park

and gradually heading back in a homebound direction. He figured, yeah, he's had a taste of Yorkshire puddings, now he's ready to go back home. That's all he wanted. With the monkey often hiding in high vegetation and roaming through thickly wooded areas, thermal drone technology was essential

to the search. One was lent to the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland by the Carnigore Mountain Rescue Team. Good Lord, there's a lot of infrastructure in the north. Yeah. A lot of escaped monkeys. Oh, and they used this as a training exercise, I guess. So that's good to get you money's worth out of a lost monkey. And another search was coordinated by Ben Harrah, local monkey expert.

It doesn't say that. What does it say? He runs a consultancy that specializes in monitoring and tracking wildlife populations. Okay, interesting. In that mixed woodland, the thermal drone can see through that. In that mixed woodland, the thermal drone can see through that no problem, and we're able to track him several times. When the call came in from the resident, we deployed the drone to track him from there,

and then the RZSS keepers came in, and the operation worked perfectly. perfectly just yeah god this should have employed drones for the seagull stuck in asda would have been over a lot of this team where's the seagull hotline yeah we want uh use a tranquilizer dart on that as well wouldn't be the first person to be doped up in that asda would it hey there we watched with the drone from afar and he was hiding in the infant infrastructure of a house sticking his head out eating some nuts and running back yesterday was a write-off because of the weather but I'm glad we've seen it through to the end. Carl Nagel was one of the first residents to enjoy a visit from the monkey,

getting awakened by his daughter on Sunday morning with the unexpected alert, Dad, there's a monkey in the street. That's, yeah, should have, kid, you're lying to me. Monkey on the car. Fuck off. He found the monkey investigating his back garden bird feeders, one of which remains bent out of shape from the monkey's efforts to extract some nuts. Come on, naughty, public damage, stop it.

By the time ranges from high line, the Highland Wildlife Park arrived with a couple of nets. The monkey had disappeared over Nagel's fence and the hunt ensued. Here, Nagel's involvement with the monkey ceased and his involvement with the ensuing media circus began. Five days later, I've spoken to just about every media outlet there is. Whoa, you can't be there fronting camera if you're going to parade, I only do one day of hunting.

You've got to earn your place in the camera, my friend. I've been thinking why the world needed a story about an escaped monkey in Highlands, Nagel added. I've watched a lot more news bulletins in the last week, and most of the news is really bleak viewing. It's not divisive, said his partner, Tina. Everyone can rally around a missing monkey. Too true. Not divisive. I want to see the House of Commons debate where Labour are saying, we must capture this monkey alive, and the Tories are just saying, kill it. Kill it. Kill the monkey. Boys in the Yorkshire. Poison the Yorkshire. last bit here local traders have not missed the opportunity to capitalize on this simian hoopla

a local gardening supplies company has upgraded its advertising to include a macaque pushing a lawnmower excuse me i want to see this flash in a pan story that happened for five days in 2024 and will be old news within a month it's forever changed the advertising landscape there and a local hot tub services had a mock-up of a monkey enjoying the warm bubbles and quote living his best life Nigel said a friend who works at the park

had called him on Thursday morning to let him know that the escape monkey had finally been found three minutes later the New York Times rang Wow what a story Yeah that's good

I'm all about like we've had a lot of naughty rebellious animals We have the whales capsizing boats Asdo Seagull stealing crisp monkeys eating Yorkshire pudding things. The walrus that tossed himself off. blocking people's driveways that kneel to see all that one. Yeah. All right. Well, we'll see who's next in the Noah's Ark of naughty scamps.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you very much. Wallace for sending that one in. Thank you, Wallace. Thank you, Wallace. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures. And see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, Lisa 2026 XE90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer

or go to explorevolvo.com. Ben, would you like to give us your Ben submitted thing? I would love to, as you guys know, on, oh actually, it's just gone because I wasn't sure when we were releasing this podcast when I chose it. But this week, it's been Pancake Day. Oh, yeah!

Right. And didn't we all have a lovely pancake day this week? Yes. I hit seven. When we had pancake day. I thought I would bring along some interesting Shrove Tuesday, Tuesday, Shrove Thursday,

Shrove Thursday, things that happen in the UK traditionally. Now, one of them I'm fairly sure has been covered by Mikey before but I brought a couple of other ones as well Mikey do you remember the

Atherstone ball game No Which is a You might recognise it as I go on But I think we have spoken about it It's a medieval football game That's what it says hyperlinked Played annually on Shrove Tuesday

In the English town of Atherston Warwickshire You remember now? I do now yeah what a game What a brutal brutal brutal sport Great fun There were a couple of these in different villages apparently in the UK.

I was reading recently about at least two different such events in a book. Well, just a quick recap of this. It's a game that honours a match that was played between Leicestershire and Warwickshire in 1199 when teams used a bag of gold as a ball. So there are some rules. The game itself has a few rules, two being that play is restricted to Longstreet and participants are not allowed to kill anyone. That's the most important thing.

The winner is declared at 5pm, the title going to the person who has possession of the ball when the whistle sounds. There's a few photos that I'm going to send to you that are from the 823rd annual game. And not to pass judgment on people I don't know, but these fellas are some of the roughest looking blokes I've ever seen in my entire life.

They've definitely travelled to get that. Oh my God. When the rules of the game, One of the only rules of the game is not to kill another person. Then, yeah, you need rough tugged Jason Statham looking blokes to be part of that. Oh, my God. Someone's got a massive black eye there. Yeah, that's a second image.

In the background of this image, all the shops are boarded up. It's like, why, I get it's tradition, but this is, this is bonkers. I forgot that this is what the game was. I was thinking more of those games where it's called like uppers and downers. and two ends of the village kick a ball like wherever the ball ends up at the end of the day that one wins

it's just about getting it's the other end of the village but no this is this is just an excuse to have a fight really it is I think people just get drunk and beat the crap out of each other but I've got a couple of other ones

this is an article from the BBC and it's entitled Olney the town where a pancake race is a global event this is actually an article from last year the market town of Olney in Buckinghamshire, claims to hold the oldest annual pancake race in the world dating back to 1445. Open to the Ladies of Olney only, the race has endured a friendly rivalry with a small city

in Kansas, USA. So what makes this pancake race so special? Well, I'm glad you asked. The people of Olney take their annual Shrove Tuesday pancake race very seriously indeed, dubbed the oldest recorded in the world. I've already said this. I already said this. And the runs back to 1444. and the War of the Roses and has taken place every year since it was revived in 1948. Okay, so it actually hasn't been running every year at a time. I was missing like 500 years there. Yeah, there's a few years that are probably missed.

Even in the throes of coronavirus lockdown, a solitary pan bearer dressed up and ran the 415-yard course in 2021 so the tradition wouldn't be broken. Oh, that's nice. Because a lot of these things that have been going for like 100 years like did actually stop for a couple of years over COVID, which is a shame, like these unbroken things. But that's nice that one person did it anyway. I agree. But it has to be done right. There are rules. It's women only. And you have to have lived or worked in Olney for at least

three months, says Ruth Martin of the Olney Pancake Race Committee. And you are not allowed to kill anyone. No killing. I'll send you a photo of this and it's the it's the loveliest looking people imaginable running this race. You have to wear a skirt and you are provided with an apron and headscarf and a pancake pan, but you need to bring your own pancake. You toss it at the start and you have to be able to toss it at the end. Taking out context, that's very rude. The course's 450 yards are almost 380 metres, so it's not a quick dash.

You need to pace yourself or you run out of steam, Miss Martin adds. And we've got various photos here. With the sounding of the church shriving bell, runners start from the pedestrian crossing by Olney Market and make their way to the church door of St. Peter and St. Paul's, a route that involves the closure of the main A509 through the town.

And you can't enter the race if you've already won it three times. Like the 2022 winner, Katie Goddove. Goddum, she's a legend. A pancake tossing, yeah. A legend in Olney. It then tells us what Shrove Tuesday is. And apparently Olney is also the town where Reverend John Newton

wrote the hymn Amazing Grace. That's where that came from. Amazing race. Amazing race, yeah. So let's talk about the sort of the rivalry between the Kansas town. More than 70 years ago, newspaper reports of the only pancake race

also piqued the interest of officials in the city of Liberal, Kansas, who presented the Buckinghamshire town with a challenge. Liberal is the home of Dorothy's House, a museum replica of the Kansas home featured in the 1939 movie, The Wizard of Oz. Since 19... That's just a by-the-bye.

Since 1950, the two places have competed in their own transatlantic pancake race, recording their times and holding an international video call to present prizes. Liberal runners have so far won 39 races, with Olney playing catch-up with 31. Oh, dear. The 22 winner from Liberal was Whitney Hay in a time of 67 seconds. Olney's winner Katie Goddove managed 70 seconds. Slow? Too slow.

we link up on the evening of the pancake race and compare times it's fiercely contested every year Miss Martin adds an ambassador for Liberal is coming over for the race this year so we have a good reason to try and beat them this time would you like to see a photo of them running the race yes please let me find one this is an old one you can tell because it's in black and white

shows that they've been doing it for ages I'd also like to see an image of these lovely, nicest-looking people that you described earlier. They just look the polar opposite of the medieval football game. The dude at the front who's like, I guess, started the race with the bell

is like desperately sprinting and get them out of the way of these pancakes. My God. They've got to toss those pancakes. Oh, don't they look lovely? They look so much lovelier, don't they, than those ruffians. Not a black eye in sight.

No. It's not just a race, Miss Martin says. There's something so quintessentially only about it. Everyone will just pause in the middle of the day, literally stopping the traffic. We have a super community here. Everyone just comes together for that moment. Doesn't that sound nice? Yeah.

What a lovely way to celebrate Pancake Day. Let's talk about witches instead, huh? Yeah. How about some witch traditions? Witch. This is from Bedfordshire Live by, I can't pronounce that name. Anyone want to have a go at this? There we go.

Sure. How do you say that? Iona Tofexi Yeah I'd say that Alright Let's go with that then

The strange pancake day tradition Where children gather on a Bedfordshire Hill and listen for witches Oh I don't know about this Every shrove Tuesday An unusual custom takes place At a medieval mound

In the village of Toddington in Bedfordshire As the church clock strikes midday Schoolchildren lie down on the grass of Conger Hill put their ears to the ground and stay silent for a moment. They are listening to see if they can hear the witch

frying her pancakes and some of them do. Oh my God. The old custom of witch listening which is capitalised was revived in recent years by the local community and the uptake was enthusiastic.

This is the little story of the tradition. And then it says find out virtual things to do with the widget below. I've got to enter my full postcode and I'll find out information near me. I'm not going to do that this time.

Next time, though. The witch hit. Sorry. The mound called Conger Hill is said to hold a strange captive. The small man-made hill is what remains of a 12th century Mott and Bailey, a type of Norman castle. The Lord of the Castle, Sir Paul Inus Paguer, Paul Pever, it says in bracket, wanted pancakes, and so decided to keep for himself the best-known maker of Shrove Tuesday pancakes in the area, a witch. Sure.

Since then, the pancake witch of Toddington fries her yearly batch deep inside her dungeon prison. The legend is shrouded in the mists of time, but it is believed that the custom of witch listening dates back at least 150 years. On Trove Tuesday, the pancake bell was rung in St. George's Church

to remind the women to make their pancakes. A, and then it says, A, and then it says, a crocodile of children. What? Yeah, my physics teacher used to say this. We once got taken on a school trip, and he said, own you in a crocodile fashion

into the museum, which just means in a line, I think. A sort of snaking slalaming line, right? Okay. A crocodile of children would then leave the local primary school and head toward nearby Conga Hill.

They really should be in a conga line, shouldn't they? Once there, they would put their ears to the ground and listen to the sizzling sound of the witch frying her pancakes inside the mound. The custom demand at some point in the 70s but in 2011 the Toddington Old Boys Association

decided to revive the custom after a former pupil from the 50s said that the witch was still there the tradition has been going strong ever since. Every Shrove Tuesday a surreal scene takes place with year four pupils lying around with their heads buried in the grass keeping

silent for a brief moment and then giggling and chatting would you like to see them? This is before they're giggling and chatting. Kids with their heads on the ground. It just looks like everyone's having a nap on a hill Oh yeah Oh god Got their wellies on

There's a subsection here that says So is So it's there a witch or not Didn't notice that before So it's there a witch or not For the sceptics among us That might suspect That there might not be a witch in the mound

That is That is what we know Maybe it's meant to say Here is what we know Some children This article some children report that they can hear the sizzle of the pancakes as they fry in the pan and the witch's evil cackle others however claim that it's just the ground the m1 hurtling by nearby

does not help either right and my god an unlikely explanation is that the sound people could hear stop it is that the sound people pupils could hear in the past was merely the vibration on the ground caused by the bell ringing supernatural stories around old earthworks are not uncommon and there are many mounds under which a witch or even the devil is thought to live it then says can i attend this year unfortunately the witch will be frying her pancakes up by herself with the national lockdown still in place oh yeah hopefully it's now open again this is from a couple of years ago so there we are there's just a few interesting weird very old traditions uh english traditions uh around pancake day and shrove tuesday

That's interesting. There's a common, a very common, like, folk tale motif that appears all over the country in, like, you know, 10, 15, 20 different places where a local tale is like, oh, there's a secret tunnel between this local landmark and this local landmark. Usually it's like the castle and the church or something like that. And once a man was sent through the tunnel playing his pipes and people were interested in like, what route the tunnel took so they followed it above ground listening to the sound of the pipes and like halfway across his pipes stopped and he never came out ever again oh no and if you still listen to this day you can hear his pipes or whatever you know that and it happens in loads of places sometimes his dog comes out with no fur on which is very troubling that's a rat

Yeah. Well, that's lovely, Ben. Thank you for those nice stories. You're welcome. I just wanted to celebrate how much we enjoyed pancake day this week when it happened. We did. So full of pancakes. Yum, yum. We chose to enjoy our pancake day either by brutally beating each other up in the streets or putting our head on a hill. Yes. Yes. Lovely. Well, I'm going to give you my little. listener submitted thing now. It was sent by Greg Miller at Greg Mill 2-290 on Twitter.

And I think someone might have submitted this for the previous podcast as well, because it's sort of an ongoing story. But that tweet has now gone where we were asking for those questions. So sorry that I can't give you your name, but thank you, Greg. So this is according to huffpost.com. Pigeon suspected of being Chinese spy cleared by Indian police. Thank goodness. He escaped the allegations, thank God. The best part about this is that somewhere in the metadata of the article, I guess,

I think there was originally a typo when they published this, and it's still like in the web page somewhere because the embedded article on the actual Twitter post says that the headline is pigeon suspected of being Chinese cleared by Indian police. It could just be a pigeon from China. Yeah. So the suspected Chinese spy pigeon was detained for eight months detention before being released into the wild on Tuesday.

This is written by, it doesn't say, obviously. So maybe I'll see it later, but I can't see it right now. Indian police cleared a suspected Chinese spy pigeon after eight months detention and released it into the wild on Tuesday, new news agency Press Trust of India reported. The pigeon's ordeal began in May when it was captured near a port in Mumbai, with two rings tied to its legs, carrying words that looked Chinese. Police suspected it was involved in espionage and took it in,

later sending it to Mumbai's Baiz Sakabai Dinshore Petit Hospital for animals. Eventually, it turned out the pigeon was an open-water racing bird from Taiwan that had escaped and made its way to India. With police permission, the bird was transferred to the Bombay Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, whose doctors set it free on Tuesday. Mumbai police could not be reached for comment, but it's not the first time a bird has come under police suspicion in India. In 2020, police in Indian-controlled Kashmir released a pigeon belonging to a Pakistani fisherman

after a probe found that the bird, which had flown across the heavily militarized border between the nuclear arms, nuclear armed nations, was not a spy. So they did a probe, decided it wasn't a spy, it was released. And in 2016, another pigeon was taken into custody after it was found with a note that threatened Indian Prime Minister Narenda Modi. So I guess sometimes, you know, those first two examples, it's like, okay, why you still catching pigeons. I guess because every so often

there is genuinely some sort of threat. They've got their best men on it and it's dick dastedly. Yeah, exactly. Is it a threat? I mean, like a little paper note attached to the legs. What's the pigeon going to do?

Is you know, bite? I suppose you could attach some sort of surveillance equipment to a pigeon potentially. But then you would have to hope that it actually lands somewhere useful. Like it's not smart enough to know oh i have to go find the embassy or you know the local uh spy hq um so tucked under his wing

the entire way's a little passport thought of his target and he's desperately hunting around and sound center trying to find him and his own fake ID that says he was you know born and raised in that country not a spy no uh there you go a short story there but uh it's all in the headline really isn't it um it's good i can't believe it took them eight months to release him. Like, I don't know what they were expecting after the first week. Like, is the pigeon going to crack and spill secrets? He's going to run out of battery soon.

I mean, what is, come on. That must have been someone's job to feed and look after that pigeon. What waste of resources. Yeah, yeah, I know. Nicer jobs to have at that place wherever the pigeon was detained, I feel like. It's been looking after a pigeon and whatever else goes on there. I'd give them some seeds. Well, there we go.

So Mikey, it's your turn again now. TD Bank knows that running a small business is a journey, from startup to growing and managing your business. That's why they have a dedicated small business advice hub on their website to provide tips and insights on business banking to entrepreneurs. No matter the stage of business you're in, visit TD.com slash small business advice to find out more or to match with a TD small business banking account.

Yes, and for this, I would like to enlist some help from one of you. If any of you happens to know anyone who could do a strong, good Yorkshire accent. Well, I know one. I know one. Yeah. Peter Austin, God. It's Ben Potter. Oh, okay. No problem. I will help. Thank you very much.

This is, I wanted to find out the history of ferret-legging. what you find out all in a more context you know and as part of the process I found this delightful interview with the strong Yorkshireman who I think is currently the world record holder for the longest time of ferret legging so what the heck's ferret legging let's find out

what is it what is it ferret legging it's coming is it it's coming you best be leave it. A journalist travelled all the way from America to Barnsley, Yorkshire, to interview Mr Reg Mellar, the king of ferret legging. He paces across his tiny miners cottage as he explained the rules of the sport that he has come to dominate rather late in life. Aye lad, said the 72-year-old champion. No jockstrapes allowed, no underpants, nothing whatever. It's

no good with tight trousers, mind you. Little bastards of being able to move around inside there from ankle to ankle. Beautiful. That is like he's in the room with us. Indeed. With a ferret down to trousers. Oh, my bit. So that's what it is then.

Yes. It's just, it's an endurance sport where you see how long you can last with ferrets down your pants. Right. Amazing. Does the ferret enjoy it? Yes. Does the man enjoy it? I don't think anyone's enjoying this, to be honest.

I don't know why they do it. The contest involves the tying of a comparator's trousers at the ankles and the subsequent insertion into those trousers of a couple of peculiarly vicious fur-coated footlong carnivores called ferrets. The brave contestant's belt is then pulled tight and he proceeds to stand there in front of the judges as long as he can. Oh God, I want to see this in person. There's some good videos of it on YouTube.

It's exactly as it sounds. it's just a man stood there occasionally going out and little bits of motion in his pants it's no jocks no no jock strap allowed no cup presumably so it could literally just bite his penis go for the wilkins well doory we get into that oh god all right the current record now stands at an awesome five hours and 26 minutes god the title is held by Dickless Joe. I don't know what you were expecting for, like I was spent like half an hour at most maybe,

but five hours, 26. That's just, what a waste of a day. Yes. This was a mark that was reached last year. I think this art, oh, I should point out, yeah,

this article's a New York post article by Donald Katz. This is written in 2014, so that was like 11 years ago now that he changed the record. Did I do it? Oh, do it? I've lost my place. They're writing about monkeys now, the New York Post, or New York Times, wasn't it, I think, got in touch, didn't you say? Yeah, yeah, it goes from ferret to monkey and never know what's covered next.

From a dark and obscure past, the sport has made an astonishing comeback in the past 15 years. The world record once stood at a mere 40 seconds of keeping them down, as they say in ferret-legging circles. A few years later, the dreaded one minute mark was finally surpassed. The current record now stands at the awesome 5 hours and 26 minute, reached last year by the godly tattooed 72-year-old little Yorkshireman with the waxed military mustache who now stood two feet away from me in the middle of the room, apparently undoing his trousers. Oh, good.

Okay. The ferrets must have a full mouth of teeth. No filing of the teeth, no clipping, no dope for you or the ferrets. What? No dope. You must be sober and the ferrets must be hungry Though any ferret will eat your eyes out Even if he isn't hungry

So then lad Any more questions before I put a few down Put a few down for you Before he puts a few ferrets Is he going to put some in the journalist's trousers Thankfully no He chooses to put Oh in his own taxi

This is a dangerous endeavour He don't want to just risk journalists lives With ferret encounters The journalist replies, yes, Reg. Aye, what then? Well, I think people in America will want to know, since you don't wear any protection, and I've heard a ferret can bite your thumb off,

do they ever, you know? You really want to know what they get up to down there, eh? Well, take a look. Reg Meller then let his trousers fall around his ankles. Oh, yeah, tickets to the gun show. Reg Meller, a man who has been more intimate with ferrets than many men have been with their wives calls ferrets

Cannibals, things that only live to kill that'll eat your eyes out to get at your brain At their worst and Untrustworthy At their very best I feel like Reg is I feel like Reg is painting a bad picture of ferrets here Mine aren't like this probably because I don't put them down my trousers

Yeah, I think they're probably and pisses them off a bit. A little bit. Well, maybe not, actually, as his next bit goes on to say. Because a cold and wet ferret exterminates with a little less enthusiasm than a dry one. Redd used to keep his ferrets in his pants for hours when he hunted in the rain. And it always rained where he hunted. So maybe this is like, there's a hint of doing a favor to the ferrets here.

It's a portable storage solution. Get yourself from ferret legs now. Because back in the day, like originally, ferrets were bred to, you stick them down like rabbit holes and stuff and they chase stuff out of the burrows so that you can hunt. So I guess when he was out working his ferrets, they would go in his trousers and it just became a sport from there. Amazing. The world record was 60 seconds. 60 seconds. I can stick a ferret up my ass longer than that.

Oh, for God's sake. I'm glad to say there's no written evidence. of Reg Mellar ever doing that. I think he's just talking. Oh, God. And so, at age 69, Reg Meller found his game. As he stood in front of me now,

naked from the waist down, Reg looked every bitter champion. So, look close. He said again. His legs appeared crosshatched with scars, but I refuse to look close, saying something about not being paid enough for that. Come on.

Reg, I said. Do they bite your you know? Do they? He thundered with irritation as he pulled up his pants. Why, I had them hanging off me. Reg stopped short because a woman who was with me, a London television reporter, had entered the

cottage. I suddenly... I did the wrong inflection in that case. Why, I had them hanging off my... Reg stopped short because of... There he go, perfect. Nailed it. High five. Redge stopped short because a woman who was with me, a London television reporter had entered the cottage. I suddenly feared that I would never know from what

the raging ferret's dangle. Then he said to her, Are you cheeky, love? My friend looked confused. Say yes, I hissed. Yes. Why? Reg roared again. I've had them hanging off my tool for hours and hours and hours. Two at a time, one on each side. I've been swelled up as big as that. Reg pointed to a five-pound coffee can of instant coffee. Oh, God. Redge. Redge, stop it.

Come out of there, you bastards. Reg yelled as he flailed around the inside of the hut, looking for some ferrets that had just arrived a few hours earlier. He emerged with two dirty white animals. They both had fearsome, unblinking eyes, as hard. hard and as red as rubies. Oh, man. Reg finally got me to take one the ferrets while he tied his pants at the ankle

and prepared to put him down. A young man named Malcolm with a pink haircut came into the yard on a mokobite. You're putting them down again, Reg? Malcolm asked. Oh, I have Reges up to his own tricks again. Reg took the ferret from my hand and stuck the beast's head deep in. into his mouth.

Oh, yuck, Reg, said Malcolm. This is quite a nice little passing encounter during this whole thing. Now, we're finally at the ferret-legging. Woo-hoo. Woo. Reg pulled the now quite embittered-looking ferret out of his mouth and stuffed it and another ferret into his pants. He cinched his belt tight, clenched his fists at his sides,

and gazed up to the grey Yorkshire sky, in what I guessed could only be a gesture of prayer. Reg Mellar gives all the money he makes from ferret-legging to the local children's home. As with all great champions, he has also tried to bring more visibility to the sport that has made him famous. I wonder how famous he actually is. It took quite a bit searching to find his name, but now you lot all know about him was spreading the good word of Reg Meller. That's true.

One Mellar innovation is the introduction of white trousers at major competitions because it shows the blood better. God. Oh, dear me. Reg, reg, reg, reg, reg. Mellar is a proud man. Last year he retired. Is he?

Oh, you see, he's been wronged and he doesn't like being wronged. Last year he retired from professional ferret-legging in disgust after attempting to break a magic six-hour record. The four-minute mile of ferret-legging. After five hours of having them down, Mela found that almost all of the 2000 500 spectators had gone home. And then during his World Record attempt,

workmen came and began to dismantle the stage around him, despite his protestations that he was on his way to a new world record. Jesus Christ. Oh, dear. One of the ferrets and Reg's pants finally poked its nose into daylight before any major damage was done. And Reg pulled out the other ferret. He said he had been coaxed out of retirement early

and he intends to break six, maybe even eight hours within the year. And one last line, Peter, if you could. You've just got to be able to have your tool bitten and not care. Sadd the King. Put that on his gravestone. There is a fantastic, like, old school BBC News interview with him and it's just exactly what you see. And it's this sleepy little village.

And he just goes into his back. on he's got a hutch filled with ferrets and he's like a proper old looking man and just start shoving them down his trousers on camera and yeah there's a few points where they they bite his bits and he responds quite fearfully and it's just i just feels cruel to the ferret yeah yeah i think there was another interview where it's like do the ferrets enjoy it and they just went nope they wouldn't bite if they did a couple of minutes is fine but six hours that's that's bloody hell guys good god

yeah if anyone's feeling particularly bald and they want to break a world record maybe find a different one because that that's a lot that's too much you're not going to want to do that I love that like he was presumably was on stage because he was aiming to break the six hour mark but they

still had not booked a long enough of a slot for the like the workmen were coming to dismantle the stage before the six hour mark like that's just bad organization isn't it like they should have had them had a set time he'll if he's broken the record he'll have done it by seven o'clock so don't take it apart until then but i think maybe they were just taking pity on him and was like oh this is

quite sad it's four hours in now and no one's still hit to watch it that's just if he can just say he did it and call it a day get back all the ferrets red yeah thank you very much that is the well not really a history of ferret lagging but just a glimmer into a weird world thank you very weird thank you mike uh ben it's time for your Uh, next thing. Yes, this thing was submitted on Twitter by Heather McNair at My Room Friend. And the article is from The Daily Star, Boo! Written by Kim Carr.

And the headline reads, Chuckle Brothers Legend horrified as home haunted by toilet flushing ghost. Excellent. This is precisely up our, up our niche. It is. A lot of famous bones. Probably our niche. Toilet.

Kids tele legend Paul Chuckle found it no laughing matter to learn his home was being haunted by a murderer who was spontaneously flushing his toilet. A murderer? It's gone up as... Excuse me.

The stakes are higher than they were a minute ago. Yeah. The team from Celebrity Help My House is Haunted visited Paul's three-bed 17th century barn conversion in Nottinghamshire

which he shares with his wife Sue. Paul says, my wife and I heard sounds like a child giggling through the wall and one night I saw a child at the end of the bed a few days after that I went to the downstairs loo and saw a little handmark on the wall it had been flushing itself upon investigating

upon investigating should be a comma the paranormal experts contacted the spirit of a child named Daniel thought to have been murdered by 1870s burglar child a child's pace sorry, the ghost of Pace himself and the spectral this article is appallingly written.

Hang on, I'll read it as it's written. Upon investigating the paranormal experts contacted the spirit of a child named Daniel thought to have been murdered by 1870s burglar Charles Pace, the ghost of Pace himself and the spectral of his lover, Sue Rana who turned him into police. Full stop, then the letter

to M. Paul says Pace probably came because Asu moved back in the building. Because a Sue? Because a Sue moved back in the building and she's with some other fella. It was amazing to find out full stop, no space. The house is 380 years old. They were barn conversions so there's a lot of history. So he thinks because Charles Pace had a lover Sue and

was it which chocolate is this? Paul, Paul chuckle's wife is called Sue. The ghost is confused. Right. Because As Sue has moved in. Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't make any bloody sense, does it, Paul? Keep scrolling.

Charlie was a bit of a multi-murder, multi-murder, not murderer. And since she was dobing him in, he killed Sue, and the little boy who caught them at it in the loft, which is where our bedroom is now. At the end of the episode, a camera light, with full battery switched itself off as the team played back the Alice box a gadget used to record the voice of spirits

Hang on I've got to click a button to continue reading Jesus, it's loaded a different bloody page now Hang on, I've got like 12 billion adverts for Tesco popping up, bear with me Bless modern journalism, mate This is just a write-up of a TV show episode This is a recounting of a TV show episode

Here we go. It translates ghost voices into words. Does it, though? Yeah. Does it actually do that? It translates ghost voices into words to say the other half of the Chuckle Brothers' famous Chucklevision catchphrase to me to you. Wait, what?

So the ghost says to you? This sentence is a particularly challenging one. I'll read it again. It translates ghost voices into words to. who say the other half of the Chuckle Brothers' famous Chucklevision catchphrase to me to you after Paul called it out to his late sibling. What? Oh, so now they're checking for the ghost of Barry, seemingly.

There's about three ghosts here already. The star has also revealed the spirit of his late comedy screen partner, Brother Barry, who died in 2018, jumps into him when he now performs solo. Right, so what are we even talking about at this point? And surely you should have introduced the notion that Barry's ghost is floating around before you said

Paul shouted the words to me to you I thought he'd gone into this old barn So he's trying to talk to the ghost from many, many years ago probably before the Chucker Brothers show by saying the Chuckle Brothers fucking catchphrase to them

this is incredible Paul says I don't think gears I think that's the point but it's written as they're looking for this 18th century murderer and he says to me to you. Oh God. It does elaborate a little bit now. Paul says, when I said to me, the spirit box said to you, so he probably was there. Somebody said many

years ago, they thought the spirit of our dad, who was a comedian, jumped into Barry's body as soon as he walked on stage because of the way he changed. I feel when I go on stage now, Barry jumps into my body and we're together working as one. It's a great comfort. It's five years now, and people still come up to me and say, sorry about your brother. He was most people's favourite in Chuckle Vision. We were the best of mates as well as brothers. Oh, God.

The Chuckle family are becoming like a great big Russian doll, aren't they? Their dad is in Barry. Barry is in Paul. What next? Spooky goings-ons have followed Paul and Sue around the years. He says, when her mother passed away, she went around to clean for her dad in the summer. The house was freezing, and there was a freezing,

and there was a strong smell of cigarette smoke. Her mum used to smoke, but her dad didn't. She cleaned what was her mum's bedroom and closed the door. Her dad used to leave it open. What? As she turned around, the clock in the hallway flew off the wall, missed her and hit the floor. Was as if her mum was saying,

open my door, I want to see what's going on. That's the end of the article. Right. So she could throw a clock off a wall, but not open the door for herself. Is that what we're supposed to believe? I don't, this article, I mean, I know it's the Daily Star and that, but this article is horrendously written. It makes me think I could be moonlighting as a Daily Star writer

and just shit out anything I want in about six minutes, submit it, and they'll pay me for it. There are fucking letters missing. And there's no space between punctuation. They use the wrong words as well. This bit, sorry to go back to it, but where is it? this bit here, the ghost of pace himself and the spectral of his lover. That's not right.

Neither is. I think you mean the specter. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think really multi-murderer is really the phrase, is it? It's not murderer. It wasn't even multi-murderer, Peter. It was multi-murder.

Charlie was a bit of a multi-murder. I love that phrasing as well. He was a bit of a multi-murder. Yeah. What does that mean? Anyway, I hope they work out what's gone on in his barn. Yeah, me too. I hope this kid leaving handprints on the wall and flushing the toilet will, you know,

if Paul walks in and sees another handprint and says, oh dear, it might go, oh dear, oh dear. Yes, it might. It knows all the chuckle vision phrases. Wow, what a fucking journey that was. Thank you for getting through that. That was pretty aggressive. Maybe It's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the check.

Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories. Yeah, we're around either watching these commercials on TV or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us. Maybe it's Maybe it's Mabelaine. Yeah, well, I've got a little bit of a game for us to play to finish off today's podcast. You can all play along at home.

This is something that was doing the rounds in early January, actually, and I added it to my list of things to bring along. But then I've just had other things to bring in the meantime, so it's a bit of an old one. But this was tweeted by Joe Grady at Dr. Joe Grady. on Twitter General Secretary of the University and College Union at UCU apparently

It seems that Joe is into quizzes pub quizzes I don't know whether Joe hosts them or competes in them but Joe has posted a picture and it's got 21,000 likes and the caption is Is it a cheese or is it a motorway service station?

Amazing concept for a quiz round. And I have her 10 questions here. Cheese or motorway services. And we're going to play at home. I'll read all 10 for you now. And then you can decide afterwards. So, Broxton, Trowell, Tunworth, Stitchelton, Old Inns, Boland, Chevington, Pont Abraham, Gordano and Derby. So those are the 10 cheeses or motorway service stations. So Ben and Mikey, Broxton. Do you think we're talking about Broxton services or Broxton cheese?

I'm trying to imagine like all these as potential cheeses. I imagine Broxton's like a hard, a very hard cheese that you grate almost. but I'm going to take a swing Mikey and say that that is a cheese I don't know I'm going to go for cheese as well it just it just feels cheesy to me apologies to the listeners of Broxton well it is unfortunately a service station on the M90

God what brand is it is it a Moto oh yeah oh I don't know do you look them up as we go I'll tell you let's see what ratings they've got Broxton Services. They've got a harvester, seemingly. It's part of the motor fuel group. I don't know if that's the brand.

It's like a little independent one. Yeah, maybe. Oh, wow, there's a website called Motorway Services Online, apparently. Excellent. Yeah. Yeah, it's a McDonald's at a harvester, and that's it. It's a two out of five. Right.

Okay, well, never mind. Maybe they sell cheese. This is number two. T-R-O-W-E-L-L. Is it T-R-O-W-E-L-L? Or could you have a nice lump of trowel? Trial, trowel feels, it feels service station to me, I think. That is a service station.

I think I've been there. It is. It's on the M-1. Trial Services is a a motto there you go oh yeah yeah we like motors

love a motto em and s it usually burger king so number three are you stopping at Tonworth services or are you

spreading a nice bit of Tonworth on a cracker I think I'm stopping at Tunworth services I think I'm going to dine on some ton with cheese Mikey you're dining

on soft cheese originating from the Duke of Wellington's estate Tun with cheese Yum yum Damn it Number four Stitchilton

S-T-I-C-H-E-L-T-O-N I mean that does just sound like a cheese Doesn't it? Is it a misdirect? It's just too cheesy sounding to be a cheese I'm going to say services Yeah I'm going to go services too

It's an English blue cheese Oh damn it! Guys you knew it was and you've overthought it. Fuck. We're now on to number five. Old Inns. So it's two words and ins as in pubs.

Old Inns. Is it services or cheese? My heart's saying services. Because old ins that stands the reason maybe back in the day. It used to be some pubs theirs, like a little stopping ground between cities. Maybe.

But they also made cheese there. I'm guessing cheese. I'm going to guess cheese this time. Uh, this one is a service station on the M80. Yeah. Fuck. Um, can't see what brand it is, but they've got a shell petrol station. So, wonderful.

Uh, number six, Boland. Is it cheese or is it Boland services? Oh, man, this is hard. It is, isn't it? Um. Hmm. cheese. I'm going services

because I just picture a family in a car. Oh, let's stop it, Boland. Get refreshed. It is some Lancashire cheese. Well done then. Number seven, Chevington. C-H-E-V-I-N-G-T-O-N. Mm-hmm.

Delicious. Mm-hmm. Lovely slice of... No, I don't think that's cheesy, though. I don't think Chevington's a cheese. Yeah, and Achieve-L-L-E-V-E-L-E. has a services. Chevely. Sounds like Chevely.

So I'm going to go with... It might be pronounced Chevington. If that helps, I don't know if that makes a difference. I'm going to go with service station again, please. Yes, services. New services, Mikey. It is a semi-soft and mold-ripened cheese. Mould-ripened services.

Semi-soft. It's tricky to this, isn't it? There's three left. Number eight is Pont-A-Bretain. Like Point Abraham, but Pond. Abraham sounds like a good family cheese name. Like a long line of cheesemakers, the Abrahams. I bet it's delicious as well.

I'm just looking at these cheeses as we go and they do all look. Very good. But I'm good to say this one's a cheese. Yeah, I'm going to go cheese as well, please. It's an M4 service station. Oh, God. Come on. I think they've literally picked the cheeses.

service stations and the service station-y cheeses for this quiz. I bet someone makes cheese there. Probably, yeah. Oh, you're going to call this cheese or petrol this game. Oh, no. Cheese or petrol. Come on. Well done, Mikey.

Number nine, Gordano. Is it cheese or petrol? Oh, that sounds so cheesy. Yeah. You've been burnt before, though. Do we trust it as cheese and go for? it or do we second guess it? I'll go cheese. I'll go cheese.

I'm going to go cheese as well. Yeah, it has to be. It does sound very cheesy, but it's an M5 service station. Oh, it's all on the M bloody five. What's going on with their cheesy names? I know. Gordano is, I don't know what brand. Oh, a welcome break. That's nice. They're all right. Yeah. It's no Moto, but, you know. What's Pont Abraham? I'm sure everyone. really needs to know what brand.

Oh, it's a road chef. Maybe someone's driving on the M5 right now and they want to know. Yeah, exactly. In fact, statistics, that's not fucking services. It's a lay by you. It's road chef Pont Abraham, apparently, and it looks like a service station.

It's got a building anyway. It's got a Wikipedia page as well. Whoa. It has come under regular criticism for high fuel costs. There's an entire section called The Murders. And bad. cheese. Um, number 10, the last one, Derby. Is it Darby services or Darby cheese? Surely

both, right? Oh, yeah, I know there's a Derby services, but I don't know if there's a Derby cheese. I'm going to go with what I know and say that's just a service station by I'll say cheese. Do you go, do you want to go big? Could say it's both. Is it that kind of game? I'm playing both sides, so I always win. I'll just go cheese. I'm going to go cheese on this one. What did you say, Mikey, sorry? I was going to say, do you want to say it's both cheese and a service station? No, I mean, what did you, what was your guess? I said, or are you saying both? I'm, you know, fuck it. I'm saying both. I'm going to say it's both. That's not fucking fair. Well, it's not, but on the paper, on the sheet, it just says cheese, but I

agree with you and I thought, there must be a Derby services and, I mean, there is, seemingly. It's a cheese. I win. No need to look it up. But it's a cheap. cheese. It's a mellow cows milk cheese from Derbyshire. But apparently there's a Derby welcome break on the A50, although maybe it's technically not called Derby services. It might be called something else. Shardlow, by the looks of it. So maybe that's why they're, that's the distinction. But there we go. There were apparently 10 points available there. I don't know if it's just two for being right, or if you guess that it's a motorway service station, then you get a bonus point for guessing the motorway but we weren't keeping score so that's all fine um hope you enjoyed

that there's some funny replies in the uh in in the replies of that tweet of people saying uh someone did prog rock bands or foreign language idioms uh including playing chess with the pope and meanwhile back in communist russia um so that's good uh and yeah various people posting their own kind of similar similar formats real ail or real ailment laughing death exploding skull oh man that's difficult yeah it is i don't know the answers to those but fright or sprite that's another one indeed yeah um there you go that's that's the end of the game excellent thank you very much peter you welcome well thus concludes all of the things we have for you this week thank you so much for listening slash watching don't go anywhere just yet

because we've got a few things to talk about before we go. We'd appreciate it if you stayed until the end of the class. Thank you. It's rude to leave early. Mikey, I believe there's some sort of shop. You're darn, Tooten. If you head over to vidiatesofficial.com and click on that lovely enticing little shop button.

You will be greeted with a bounty of goodies, including hoodie hats, t-shirts, and some stickers. It's lovely stuff. Go check it out. Go check yourself this Valentine's Day. Or Pancake Day. Or Pancake Day. Well, your clothes got bloody

after putting some ferrets down your trousers or doing the bloody big football race through your town, yeah? A better place to stock up. Vidytofficial.com and click on show. Great idea. We are on Instagram and TikTok at vidyats dot official.

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Once again, I think I gave this warning like three months ago. I believe currently there is a plan for me to stream on the 9th of March. So not too long to go, just under a month. I'll talk about it again a bit close to the time. But that Twitch account will be used again soon, hopefully. Pottyets.com. If you go there, donate three pounds or more. you get a shout out at the beginning

and the end of the next podcast you join Pod Squad and you support the things that you enjoy and we really really appreciate it here again is your Pod Squad for this week Rain drop joy Caroline where is the Lurpack

umpah Lumpa D's nuts Yummy Comey in my tummy the generous cool beansed Mr Macca and Isle of You We've also got Frogley Stephen Scodes Gleddy Bleber's Dickick Pick Quaker name Pickled beetroot

Roy's boys soy surprise Everybody Poops Neil Buchanan D and Adolf Ham Friend And finally we have Anal Eruptions The Quaker Wolfgang Amadiz Nut

Moschart Blart attack Caroline send lift I'm stuck in Hull Prince Beefcakes and YogCon D's nuts Thank you so much Pod Squad of this week pottyats.com, three pounds or more to get a shout at the beginning and the end of the next

episode. Peter Austin. Yes. What came out on Vidiots six years ago this week? Slip in everything. Loads of stuff. We started with worst games ever, prison break, the conspiracy. There was then a video after that called Welcome to Vidiots. Don't really know why they came out in that order, but never mind. In the spotlight, Crossing Souls, has been copyright matched and is ineligible for monetisation. Why? I guess the developer or publisher has put their footage on the bot, on the thing.

Arseholes. Vidiates welcome and Q&A extravaganza, post some tat number one, prove it cooking mama part one, the Paris vlog at Le What's Next DeFocus, 2018. Memory Cards, episode one, which was for February the 12th,

including state of emergency, aliens, cloning marines and the Game Boy Advance SP. Prove It, Cooking Mama Part 2, in the spotlight for vampire and greedfall and call of Cthulhu, all of which we saw in Paris. Postum tab number two, we've got stickers. The Nintendo Labo video that we did as well. God, we did a lot early on, didn't we? And Prove It Cooking Mama number three.

Oh, and then also up to and including today in the spotlight for a Plague Tale Innocence. six years ago we started videos this is the perfect time to commence an annual rewatch of the full year of videos you can either binge it all in one go or you can watch it as the videos came out

we'll keep you up to date but obviously you know it's this podcast fortnightly so you're not going to get updates very often I just go on the channel see when it came out go on treat yourself binge it all in one night every single video video all of it yeah go on dare you

Mikey, where are you on the internet, please? At Parrot Boy on Twitter and Instagram. That is the best place to keep up with me these days. And Peter, where are we? We are at That Peter Austin and at Confused underscore Dude on Twitter. But you can find us doing work together at Team Triple Jump on YouTube and Twitch, where we play video games and talk about video games and play bad video games and all sorts of other things as well.

certainly why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice it helps something to do with al gore's rhythms and we'd really really appreciate it thank you so much those of you who have done that already what is the final question before we go home uh how long do you think you could keep a ferret down your trousers 80 hours i could i theoretically i could test all right go on then do it start it all right i'm talking my trousers into my socks come here come here ferret it's time to go doing my truzes. He's gone. He's gone to do it.

Bye, bye, guys. Bye. Bye. I hope you're wearing white trousers to show the blood. Oh, no, of course. It's the only way to do it. All right. See you, Mikey.

Good luck with your challenge. Thank you. I assume he's gone. Peter, thank you for doing Pottietz with me today. It's been lovely. It has. And we will see all of you again in a couple of weeks' time. Look after yourselves.

Bye. Bye. Thank you.