Podiots - Podiots: Episode 148 – Love The Milky B’s

Episode Date: June 22, 2024

Mikey’s forcing sweets to fight one another, Peter’s raising chimps, and Ben’s got your hot and fresh Instagram questions. Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://podiots.com/ And check our website and store: http://vidiotsofficial.com -------------------   Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS!   YouTube: https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vidiots.official TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@vidiots.official Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax All right, you can stop sending us the blobby clip. We've seen it. Yeah, yeah. We've seen the blobby clip. He's back. It's all very exciting. He's well and truly back.

What do you make of it, Michael? Well, I'm confused, because I thought Noel Edmonds was the man inside the suit, and yet Norr and Blobby are stood side by side. My whole world has turned upside down. What's going on? It's nice to see him rear his face again on TV. It feels like the nation needs a. an amorphous blob to crumble in Noxstaff over a TV studio.

Yeah, Noel looks like, oh sorry, sorry, go, I'm like. I was saying it's good to have him back. Yeah, it is. It is good to have him back. Noel kind of, I've got, I have to imagine that Noel knew that was going to happen. Yeah. But also, he actually looks like a bit sort of pissed off. Like he's come there to talk about whatever it is.

He's suing that company again. I don't know why he was on. but he's come there to talk and do an interview and then they jump him with Mr. Blobby at the end and he just looks he sort of grits his teeth and smiles and goes you're out of feeling this might happen he's desperately trying to put it behind him yeah yeah they can't though like that's

you can't get no albums on the tally without getting Mr. Blobby on otherwise no one will watch so sadly this when did Mr. Blobby start like 40 years ago like imagine your entire life being followed by not only a joke, but a physical manifestation of a joke. It's weird that he's that old, but he's still, I'm talking about blobby now, not not Edmunds, but still seems to be relevant enough that I think still probably an amount of young people would at least know his name.

I guess he sticks out so much. It's not just like some celebrity whose face you might recognize, but did you hear that Justin Timberlake got done for drink driving. Yeah, yes. Well, I saw a thing yesterday, or today actually, that said, a source on the inside said that the policeman who arrested him was so young that he didn't know who he was. And apparently, Justin said under his breath, something like, oh, this is really going to ruin

it. And the policeman said, what? And he said, the world tour I'm doing right now. Oh, no. And, you know, if Justin Timberlake isn't being recognised by someone who's old enough to be a policeman and pull him over, but Mr. Blobby is perhaps still a recognisable character in the UK? I think it helps he's visually distinct. If you put like 100 people in a room and ask me to pick out Justin Timberlake, I might struggle.

But Mr. Blobby, oh, yeah. Yeah, I think you'll see him. Yeah. Also, we've seen what old blobby suits look like. they're actively decaying. So this means that someone out there is making new Blobby suits relatively regularly. Well, he was also, I think it might have been on the same day. He was on BBC News as well.

So I think someone with that suit was in Media City or whatever or down in London. And they like did a bit of a, they did the rounds, I think, as Mr. Blobby for a day. I think he had like a press. It was like a press junket for Mr. Blobby. Because he definitely did at least two appearances. week on separate channels. What have you sent us there, Mike? Oh my lord.

I was curious if there's any blobby suits going around on eBay again. Oh no. That is horrible. It's a very expensive custom-made suit and you can tell it's got... You can tell that was knitted by Nana's quite clearly. That's horrible. It's the last thing Nana knitted before she completely lost the ability to do so. That is a bear inside of a blobby costume.

It looks like an Udi with gloves and trousers is what it looks like. is what it looks like. That's awful. That'll go on the thread and it's on the video version now. It looks like it's got teeth. A thousand pounds. It just looks at the price. Yeah, thousand pounds. 899 though with a coupon or 47 pounds a month for 24 months with PayPal credit. Oh, I scroll down and it's all sexy fairy costumes. Is this what else they do? Oh, no. Hang on, is he standing on a roof. I think he is. It's standing on a flat roof, I think. He's going to go through that classic blobby. He's going to go right through that.

He is, yeah. It'll just be a little. legs sticking out and Noel Edmonds will be in the lounge trying to watch the telly going oh for God's sake, Blobby. I thought Noel managed to play it off pretty well though when he was being quite aggressively accosted by Mr. Vlovy and he was like I'm not going to give you a radio station I told you it would be boring just sort of having a Han Solo Chewbacca-esque conversation with Blobby on the fly. Yeah. And then Ed Balls just got absolutely murdered by Noel Edmonds. I know. What was that about?

For no reason at all. For context, for those who haven't seen the clip, Mr. Blobby, who I'm not going to explain the context of that, you should know, and if you don't, do your idiot's homework. But he runs into an interview that Noel Edmonds is doing with Ed Balls and someone else on daytime TV. And in amongst all the commotion, Noel Edmonds, out of nowhere, says to everyone, says to the room,

oh, the one good thing about this, though, is that Mr. Blobby makes Ed look slim. And Ed's like, hang on a minute, what? Ed just goes, uh, he doesn't even, I thought he sort of like vocalises a reaction and then just slumps back like, what the hell? Yeah. It was quite the encounter. It really was, yeah. Quite the encounter.

I love that. Ed Balls was put in his place in a situation of Mr. Blobby, Ed Balls being the man who was mostly known for just tweeting his own name. Yes, ex-politician. Ed Balls, that was the tweet. It's really good. Yeah. Really good

Oh speaking of Twitter actually An old favourites made a comeback Well maybe not a favourite Oh yeah Lorraine from the London area I think she I think they were banned On Twitter for quite a long time

Yeah Now they're back And it's the same drivel as always It's not It's amazing that this joke has gone on so long Please Lorraine get some help Is she still buying Voxhole courses or whatever it was

No it's got a lot less fun since the days of trying to sell hamsters and car boot sales and stuff Lorraine go back to what made you happy the good old days I didn't like her tweet either because you sent us a link or a screenshot Mikey and it had that sort of the devil

emoji he's back but it's like that has a sexual connotation that devil thing well she's been offline for so long that she's forgotten what all the emojis mean I think I think whoever's running the troll accounts knows what that means.

Yeah, they know exactly what they're doing. They know what they're doing. Yeah. God damn it. Well, shall we get Kevin to press play on the music? He's been slacking on that Instagram recently. I understand he's taking a little holiday and hasn't been around. What is this?

2019. We've got Kevin. We've got Lorraine. We've got Mr. Bloby. Everyone's coming back. I know for a fact that he's around and ready to do the music tonight, though. So if we, if we say his name, he may appear. Okay.

Kevin. Kevin? Kevin. Hello everybody and welcome to party. It's the official video. Podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us where everybody brings. OTHING. along to talk about. I'm Ben

I'm Peter and I'm Michael Good afternoon gentlemen Hello how are we doing on this fine evening? Hey it is actually a fine evening weather report it's been shit for two weeks and tonight I don't know about where you are Mikey but it's suddenly the sun came out and it was actually warm if the

sunlight was on your face yeah it's glorious now to come the sun once again with my blinds. I don't need to see the sun for now because we're doing computer business. Yeah. It messes with my green screen. I put Pippa on her lead and let her around in the back garden earlier.

She had a little frolic. Not for long, no. Don't want her to get, you know, too used to freedom or nice things. And then I'll just lock back up in the house now. Which is good. We do have some exciting developments for later in the year. Yes. In terms of a certain

mr johnson making his way to the north oh yeah we're doing a i'm doing a tour of the uk there's one stop newcastle and then that's it so yeah we're going to be doing some fun video it's content most likely podduting maybe others who knows we haven't planned ahead much but we've got dates so it's happening how are you uh how are you coming up are you going on the train or gonna get me pedal bike i'm going to do my stunts all the way up the two a wheelie all the way here So you could make it a two-stop tour and go via Stoke-on-Trent if you really wanted to. Oh, that would be good, wouldn't it? It is a vibrant place.

I forget, like, as an adult, I can just go places if I want to, and Stokont County is one of the places I can just go to. Yeah. Well, maybe we'll make a tour out of it. We'll see all the sites. We'll do it for a vidiates trail. I have that thought, like, I could go one day to Stoke-on-Trent just for the memes and post about it. And I've never done it.

I've talked about it for, like, four. years now saying I should go one day it'd be really funny and then no I haven't and it's not even that far from where my parents live so it would be pretty easy to do but can I just say as someone who did go to Stoke-on-Trent for a laugh yeah you don't you don't need to do no you're not going to have a great time no it's a funny idea though but in practice you are in Stoke-on-Trent yeah yeah it's one of those things where you're like two hours into the journey you're getting there like oh this this is my weekend and Stoke yeah But yes, Mikey is booked in later in the year to come up north.

We're hoping that it coincides roughly with episode 150. It may, much like episode 100, arrive slightly after we need it to, which means that we may skip to episode 151 and then come back to it like we did before, but we'll explain that close to the time. Either way, it'll be nice to record in the same room. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, very good. See our fleshy faces once again.

Oh, fleshy, lovely. poddiots.com. That's where you need to go. If you want to support what we're doing here at Poddietz, and by extension, very occasionally on Vidiates, if you go there, donate three pounds or more. You'll get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of the podcast

and join Pod Squad. This week, we have a lovely selection of people and Mikey's going to kick us off with the first batch now. The River 7 is the longest river in Great Britain. Britain, yeah. Brittany. Cat Dealey, wearing heelies. Bibble on my rumpy dumple.

What is going on, help. John Cravens, John Cravens, Poohs Brown, Donak, 07, the River Severan. Summer dees nuts. Summer dees nuts. Summer dees nuts, however you want to have. Frogly. Gary Gorilla Blossoms Band music video, or MV. I think a band made a music, a song about Gary the Gorilla.

I haven't actually listened to it yet, so I can't give a review or any insight. Oh, okay. Yeah, next time. Go and hook up Blossoms and listen to a lovely guerrilla theme song. We continue with Lord Mystery Buffet Mitovich and Stephen Scores. Lovely. We've also got Caroline, can you check my mole? I think we've actually had that one before.

We're running out of Caroline's. He's still asking. He desperately needs to change. Has it changed? Fred Frogs Choco Nob. Caroline, it's Barry. I'm re-watching Vidiots. My last three pounds, I'm hungry now.

Tanker Wanker. Friendship is magic. Ben's cat in bio. Why nobody swing with Ben? Crispy Peking Cuck. Monietz presents Connie Huck and Sue Veneer. Very nice. Finally, we have Duchess of Limbs.

Kerr, Matt Bussie the Pog. I believe in Joe Hendry's nuts. Congratulations to a friend of ours, Joe Hendry, by the way, for debuting in WWE the other day. Incredible. Very exciting to see. Mr. Macca, Small Monkey John Denmark. What? What? The very generous Anonymous who said, I've finally done it. I submitted four names last week and got a favourite choice from each one of you.

Wow. Ben Pottery Shopping Centre and DBP's nuts. What a lifetime achievement. Much love, Kiskees from Will. Thank you. I like how it's an anonymous donation and then it says from Will at the end. Incredible. Thank you, Will. Thank you, Will. Well done. Well done. You're commemorative plate is in the post. Sorry, Mikey. I was just to say, your commemorative plate is in the post. It is.

We do those. We also have croupier, Lord Burr's croupier. Gay, m'er, ant. That's spelled gay. And then the, what is it? An oil. The biblical, yeah, I don't know. It's like, yeah.

And then ant, as in the animal. And finally, we have Pet Shop Man. And that is your pod. squad for this week. Thank you so much everybody for being so unbelievably generous. Pottyats.com, three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of the

podcast. Help us to keep doing what we're doing here. Thank you so much. Do you guys have a favourite? I have just realised why Duchess of Limbs is funny so that's now, I like that one. Oh, explain for the rest of the class class. That is from the weird archaic

insults that I did two episodes ago where if you're a bit clumsy, you're a Duke of Limbs. Oh, I think it was Duke of Limbs or a count of limbs or something. Yeah. I like Small Monkey John Denmark, a very tenuous one, but it's nice to see Mr. John Deer making his face known again. Yeah, that's good. I like Bibble on my Rumpy Dumpel, because it's very,

fun to say. It is, yeah. So you're going for Duchess of Limbs, Peter? Yeah, okay, yeah, I'll go for that. You don't have to. No, I know, but that's the one it's the one I was thinking of when you asked me, because I was reading it and thinking, oh, yeah, so. Excellent stuff. Well, there we are. Thank you very much, Pod Squad. It's now time for things to happen. I'm the thinking this time around,

and I decree that Peter Austin will go first with his listener-submitted thing. Okay. I've got a listener-submitted thing here that was sent in by Cuzz at He Is the Cuzz on Twitter. It is according to metruor.com.org.com. And they say, Jen Mills, by the way, is the person he wrote this article. And they say, woman reads her asparagus. to tell us how England will do in the Euros. Right. Excellent.

In the 2010s, if people wanted to predict the outcome of a national football match, they turned to octopuses. Remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, what was he called? I want to say it's Gary again. I can't remember, yeah. It might have been Gary the Octopus, possibly. Famous tentacled prophets. Oh, here we go. He's going to tell you. Famous tentacled prophets included Paul and Rabio or Rabiot. who gave their findings by choosing the winning country's flag.

They even had a good track record, at least until Rabio was reportedly boiled alive and sold for food at a fish market. No, no. I didn't know that. It's hyperlinked as well. Psychic Octopus who correctly predicted the World Cup results sold for food before tournament ends.

Oh no. Anyway, it continues. But now it's 2024. And it's all about asparagus. And then it interestingly notes, both octopus and asparagus end in us. So perhaps that's what bestows the mystical powers. Oh, the usy.

Could be the ussiness of it, yeah. Fortune teller Jemima Packington, 67, uses the green spears to reveal the future. And the good news is, England will win the Euro 2024 tournament. Absolutely. Yeah. Bringing an end to 58 years of hurt, Gareth Southgate's men will go all the way in Germany

and lift the trophy for victory, full stop, according to the asparagus, full stop. Don't scoff too soon, because they've been right on the big things before. I'll tell you, Jemima earned her celebrity status as the world's only asparamancer after correctly indicating the result of the Brexit referendum, i.e. a 50-50 choice, as well as predicting the Queen's death and Harry and Meghan leaving the royal family. How does asparagus predict this?

Excuse me, what? Well, I'll tell you how she... I'll tell you the method shortly. It does come later on the article. It's just going to be a yes or no, isn't it? Well... You can't say, what's going to happen with the royal family? Well, the asparagus clearly says...

You can, actually. Complicate it. Can you? Yeah, and I'll... tell you how. But she even claims to have seen Nigel Farage becoming head of reform and campaigning in the general election after the Spears revealed

a former leader would return to active politics. Bit vague, bit broad. To get the answers, Jemima of Bath Somerset, Michael Johnson, tosses the asparagus into the air and interprets how they land on the ground. Similar to telling tea leaves or casting stones to see how they land,

Asperomancy is not a common form of fortune-telling, though it could be another sustainable and seasonal use of the popular local vegetable. Jemima said, They keep pointing to three words in particular. It's coming home. Oh, God. England fans, oh yeah, and here's the obligatory typo in this article, by the way.

England fans, every right to be positive and optimistic, if the spears are anything to go by. So there you go. I can also see Harry Kane being very strong, she says. He is going to be worth watching and is going to come into his own this tournament. Did she say that? Did the Spears say that? Well, come on.

She's just a vessel for the Spears. Yeah, yeah, of course. England are going to do very well, and I think we will see us winning it. Watch this space. As for Scotland, no comment. Mystic Veg Jemima says her predictions tend to have a success. access rate of between 75 to 90%, and she is never usually far off. She also said that events in the Middle East would reach breaking point, and that a public figure would be outed

as having profited from illegal actions, a possible nod to Donald Trump, who became the first US president to be convicted of a felony. Jamima began fortune-telling as a child after learning the craft from her aunt who used to read tea leaves. Seeing the patterns for me is instantaneous, Possibly, that is, possibly that is because I've had years of practice, she said. Occasionally, I get one slightly off where I haven't quite read it correctly, but I'm never far off. And the biggest question, but Peter, what kind of asparagus does she use? But Peter, what kind of asparagus does she use? I'm so glad you asked, Ben.

Jemima uses fresh Worcestershire asparagus grown in the Vale of Evesham, the UK's main supplier of the vegetable. Good. The extra, extra clairvoyant that one. Yeah. That's the end. That's the end of the article. There are some trending articles linked at the bottom. The top two of them are slight variations on the same story. New Nostradamus predicts exact date World War III will start. I clicked on that earlier when I was reading this article,

and he predicted it would have started yesterday at time of recording. So I don't think that's... He needs to change to asparagus, I think. You know, whatever he's using isn't working. It's not right. Yeah. Maybe he's got that bad asparagus from another place. Yeah, maybe.

Could be that. He needs to use the Worcestershire kind. Worcester. Yes. Worcestershire. Exactly. So that's it. Asparagus says we're going to win.

It's coming home. Place your bats. Fantastic. Put all the money on red and white, everyone. Yeah. Because the asparagus says it's going to. be true. I briefly Googled Asperamancy because

I wondered how do you read Asparagus? Do you want to see an example of what she's reading? Maybe we can see what you both infer from Asparagus. Oh, we've got a photo of a cast. Yeah. Okay. See what this says to you. Oh, God. Are we supposed to be finding a word or an image?

I the asparagus you just let the asparagus flow through you okay I don't think there's any guides oh I'm what sorry there is actually some insight and I found to go along with this image so there is a right and wrong answer here I see an X and an F I'm going to say that that tells us that X factor is returning to our screens oh oh I like it oh yeah look at that

Okay, maybe you can read asparagus. Obviously, you read what you want into it. Yeah, I've disregarded about nine stalks of asparagus in doing that. Not all the asparagus is important. The Asperomancers observed the letters K, H, and A interlinked in the patterns, which she claims may suggest a party or celebration of some kind. I've got no idea how KH in A make party. They also can't see those letters, I don't think.

But you know what? She's been right 75 to 90% of the time. So maybe you're being a bit too harsh on her. Maybe. Possibly we could be being too harsh on her or we're being the correct amount of harsh. Yeah. The appropriate amount of doubtful. Hey, when X Factor gets a surprise return next year, you guys are going to be laughing on the other side of your faces.

Oh, bloody well will. And I tell you what, if I go to the supermarket and I drop asparagus all over the floor, then that will teach me as well, won't it? Yeah, it will. People will be running around reading it going, oh, what could it be? X Factor, no. Well, thank you very much, Peter. No problem.

Thank you to... It's coming home. It is, it's coming home. Thank you to Cuzz, was it on... Yes, Cuzz on Twitter for sending that to us. Thank you. Thank you, Cuzz. Michael Johnson, what's your thing, please?

Hello, gentlemen. I bring a return of an old feature that we haven't had in quite a while, I think maybe over a year. Oh. I hope you've brought your boxing gloves because it's time for a punch-up. Come on. It's a fight. Ding, ding, ding. This time, I did search through the archives here about three times to make sure,

and I am relatively confident I haven't done this particular category before. But if we have, shout, and I guess we'll just forget this ever happened. Okay. There's a good chance both of us will have forgotten anyway. Probably, yes. I mean, it all felt new to me as I was writing it out, so I'm going to assume it'll be new for you. So this punch-up is of the mix-up variety, sweets. Oh, yeah, I don't think we have done sweets, actually.

We've done a few varieties of food, but I had a real big craving the other night for a classic old school corner shop 50p like pick and mix bag pre-made going after school hand the 50p over get a big lovely bag of gummies or whatever uh delights were in store that day i've always got a 50p on me oh just in case yeah oh yeah oh yeah i just think you don't use that for the sweets pizza maybe not maybe not um so i i had a i had a thing i had a troll through pictures and archives of the kind of sweets you would get in a 50p mix and I've ranked well I've put 18 of them no 16 of them here to be battle to the death to find the sweet that you'd be most excited to find in your little mystery bag of sweeties before we begin were you both sweetie boys or mix up men

are you fans I'm quite a sweetie boy um yeah because I don't really like chocolate Like dark or brown milk chocolate. I like my white chocolate. But yeah. So normally I would resort to sweeties. I am very much the inverse. I much prefer chocolate. I don't like sweeties as an adult.

I probably enjoyed them as a child because they were just sugar. But certainly as I have matured, I do not enjoy sweets. And I know chocolate is very much the same. But all I think of when I have a sweet is that was just a sweet. is that was just a cube of sugar. I just don't really have them anymore. That is the difference. And if I did, I know that if I did have sweets,

you know, on the odd occasion that I've been to someone's house and there's been Harrybos or whatever, I do really enjoy them still. But there's a psychological aspect where I'm like, this is good for me. I shouldn't be eating at age 32. So I do still like them though. But yeah, I don't have them day to day.

Yeah. So luckily we won't be rotting any teeth today because while there is 60 in here, you'll only have to choose and eat one sweet. So it's just a little treat at the end of the day. All right. We begin with the first pairing. I'm going to explain some of these sweets because I realize not everyone's familiar with all of the all these sweets. Maybe some of them are UK specific. Maybe not. There's a few I've missed out. The one big omission that I didn't want to put in was do you remember the kind of like gummy pints, like beer pint sweets? Oh, not really Yeah, I'm not sure About that Maybe I've seen one But We used to Like these occasionally pop up

In mixups I had when I was a kid And it was gross Like It tasted like stale boot Rather than beer I don't know what beer It's supposed to taste like In a sweet

But yeah I'm looking at them now They don't look very nice Yeah They're very sad Not good Kind of interesting texture But flavour wise

Not good Anyway For the real contenders Our first battle Is between There you go, beer. Oh, God, they do just look... Oh, I've never seen those before.

They look horrible. Kind of got a glossy coating on them. They look savory. Yeah. Right. Well, the first punch-up is between the humble, the mighty, the classic, the fried egg, the Harry Bill variety, not an chickeny egg. And a pencil, those kind of straw things with, like, fondant or something in the middle with an outer casing of jelly. you know what is your preference of the two you two weigh in but if there's a tie a tie i will

weigh in to give my verdict on things i mean i i like a fried egg if they're in if they're in the bag but actually you've started with one of my favorite sweets of all time which is the pencil i really like those or cables they're sometimes called if you get a really long ones i really like them and that might be the kind of thing where if i was at like a food market and we went past to Sweetie stall. If they had a big tray of those, I might treat myself to one of those. It's about the only sweet I would still buy for myself today as a little rare treat. So for me, it's a clear winner. But I guess, Ben, you're the, I guess, the non-sweeter, the critic. So you get to be, you get to be cruel on the sweets and be really brutal. Do you agree

with that? I feel sort of indifferent about both. I wouldn't be mad at either of them being a part of my pick-and-mix selection. And I would eat them both and enjoy them both. But certainly if I had both of them in front of me, I'd probably go for the fried egg. But I'm willing to concede the pencil. Yeah, I think I would concede pencil as well because they kind of feel like more of a treat. Fried egg's normal pencils are like, ah, this is a little bit different. It's a premium one. Yeah, I think that that's fair.

That is a difference between them. Fried eggs are a classic, but they are, you know. It's like beans. Get them everywhere. Yeah, a staple, really. Yeah. Congratulations. you move on. Next up I've

bumped two sweets together into one here because they're kind of the same and I don't like either of them so I thought I just bump them together. The foam banana slash foam shrimp yeah in against the giant cola bottle specific not just a regular little one

the giant one the giant cola bottle because I feel like there's there's a difference between the giant and the small ones the small ones just junkier aren't they yeah kind of like bigger flatter longer, better. Yeah, I love that daft punk song. That's my favorite.

I personally feel that the foam bananas and foam shrimps are by a sizable distance, one of the weaker pick and mix sweets. And I really like cola bottles of any variety. Again, I probably wouldn't necessarily pick out a giant one because that feels like a lot of work. But I do like regular cola bottles. So I'm putting my weight behind cola bottle here. I agree that I'd prefer. a smaller one, but yeah, I think the foam ones are, they're like a really interesting

oddity. Like everyone, when you talk about pick a mix, everyone goes, oh, what about the weird foam shrimp and the bananas? You know, they're like a talking point, but they're actually just really rubbish. They're just a bit weird and interesting, but actually kind of horrible. So I'd go to call the bottle. Yeah, I'd agree cold a bottle. The foam ones are just kind of like, whenever you eat them, it's not because it'll be nice. It's like either to get it eaten or just for the experience and like 30 seconds later you're reminded

why you don't like them. Well done. Cool a bottle. Two, and I use are some old school ones that, eh, aren't big hitters,

at least to my books. Love hearts, there's little chalky, horrible things, and Dolly mixture. So, God, Dolly mixture is a variety of sweets.

God, how do you describe Dolly mixture? What is a liquor is based? Fondentee as well, aren't they? Yeah, some of them are quite hard. They're not very soft. Yeah.

Yeah, there's like a two stripy one. Like ones, it's like white on the bottom and then a colour on the top. They're like tiny little cubes or there's like cylinder ones. Yeah. It's a proper old one. I used to really like them as a kid. I would actually sort of choose them. But I think as time went on, they sort of changed the recipe and probably removed all of the artificial stuff.

and now I would not choose a Dolly mixture. What was the first one again? Love hearts. Oh, love hearts, yeah. See, I don't, you described them as, did you just say horrible chalky things? I don't mind a love heart. They've got nice affirmations on them.

Yeah. I don't like them. I don't like the crumble to dust. Me me. Stunner. Stunner. Stunner. Yeah, I never got on with them.

But I'm not going to, I'm not going to influence the decision here. I mean, I'd pick them over dolly mixtures anyway. I would too. I wouldn't personally consider them part of pick a mix, though. I wouldn't have them in my picker mix. It's too. I want soft things in my picker mix and I don't want hard work, you know? That's true.

That's true. That's true. It depends. Sometimes soft things can be the hardest work of all, but I'm going to, yeah. Well said. Well said. Don't know what it means, but that's beautiful. Like the asparagus, you can read what you want from that.

Love hearts are through Okay Now you said you You don't like hard work What do you think of And I quote the name here Chocolate Jazzies Oh God

I'm gonna have to Google those aren't they I think I know what they are actually They're like Coloured dotty ones Yeah like little rounds of chocolate With kind of like multicolid sprinkles On them yeah Yeah

You can get a kilogram of them from Asda Oh right I had that to the basket it's chocolate jazis versus milk bottles the little chewy milky milky sweet oh well see milk bottles are my favourite and I know that that's a controversial one because people don't like those and I know that chocolate jazis are basically just slightly crunchy chocolate but I fucking love milk bottles there's something about the flavour of milk bottles which don't taste like milk that I really like I like those I um I would want my jazis or

my chocolate button equivalent just without sprinkles on to be honest I'd quite happily just have the white chocolate buttons so I'm not like a big jazzy guy but actually I hate milk bottles I specifically have to take them out of a pack of super mix or star mix whichever one it is if I if I had ever on the rare occasion I've got some harry bow I just won't eat them but given that I'm not keen on either of these I'm happy to just give milk bottles a pass, if that's what you like, Ben. Oh, thank you. Maybe you're really against milk bottles, too.

Oh, no. I'm a firm, firm lover of the milk bottle. Fair enough. Always one of my favorites. Just, yeah, it's that flavor you can't quite describe. It's quite creamy, kind of fruity, but what is it? It's not milk. No, it's not.

Just a couple of milky boys. Love it. Yeah. Fair enough. No, I don't believe in chocolate in mixups, put it that way. I think, yeah, leave it out, leave it out, especially with your multicoled sprinkles on it. Boo.

Yeah. Too much one. Too much work. right well halfway through the first brackets then we're going to whizz through the true battles cooler bottle small versus a bubble gumball

I don't think I've ever chosen a bubble gum ball in a pick and mix I think I've ever picked it specifically I don't want to have a sweet that never ends because you know the flavour's going to be gone almost immediately Yeah, it's a sweet that never begins, really.

It's crap. I know, it's, and I like cola bottles too, behind milk bottles. I just like the bottles. Just give me the bottles. I like cola bottles. Yeah. So, absolutely cola bottles for me. Color bottles are great, yeah.

Yeah. Like, if I ever got a mix-up and there's a bubble gun ball in it, it's just, it's just a it's just something you chew on, like blue tack, basically. Yeah, you have to throw it away. It's rubbish. You'd want to save it till the end as well, because otherwise, if you start chewing bubblegum while you're also eating other sweets, then it's like, I've got to like chew this at the same time and then, yeah, kind of, yeah, it's like a chore.

When I was a kid, I discovered a genius way where I didn't have to get rid of my chewing gum. And that was chew chewing gum and then have a harrybow and it sticks to the harryboe and you can just swallow it. You can just swallow it. It's a genius. Oh my God. You never have to get rid of the gum. You can just eat as much chewing gum as you want and then have Harrybo as well. And then you swallow it.

And then stop being able to poo. Just swallow it. it down. Fart a big bubble. Yeah. And otherwise you wouldn't swallow a gum. It was just when it was eaten with another sweet. That made it digestible. Yeah. I remember specifically one car journey where I discovered this and I don't think I ever did it again because I was aware that it was not okay. But I was like, huh. As a treat. It's just gone down. Great. Let's keep it up. And as we all know, it then took 12 years to digest. Yeah. It was

slowly digested over 12 years. Yes. Yes. I used to be a religious bubble gum. swallower as a kid, like, I reckon it's hundreds of bits of chewing gum I've swallowed over my childhood. I think I did all right. Who knows what's clogged up inside me? Do they stack, or is it only one per 12 years? So you could still be working your way through them as we speak right now. That's true. One day I'm due a big load there. Yeah, I've got recycling for future needs. Oh, God. Oh, God. Anyway, onto something more discuss. than pooing out sweets. Yeah.

Flying saucers. Oh, yeah. I truly, I'm weird in it. The saddest of all sweets. Two bits of paper with some awful sad sugar encased in the middle of it, kind of shaped into a flying saucer. Flaveless, edible paper with sherbet in it.

Whose idea was that? As a boy who was raised Catholic, the textures of UFOs reminded me of communion wafers. which I'm sure Jesus would be very cross to hear that there's an equivalent out there that has sherbet in it tastier didn't like him feels like flying sauces were invented during the war

during rationing and just kind of stuck around after that it's a weird way how are they still about who wants them you begrudgingly have them at the school disco because they're just there and they come in the you know they'll sell a bag of mixed sweets for however many pens but it's always the worst bit and they're so big compared to the other sweets too

they take up a lot of the bag it's just there for bulking disgusting I used to the one pleasure I got out of flying saucers was you know how when you worked at the service station Ben you used to punch Easter eggs so that there would be wastage and then you could eat them in the back room

well I not even for wastage reasons I would sometimes if there was a pack of them in the in a supermarket I would just sort of squeeze them and burst them like bubble wrap and then sort of go and find my mum and carry on shopping. Ah, you're a little vandal.

Yeah. Someone opened their packet one day and just had all these flat sauces. Wow, you were angry against those sources. Jeez. What was the other one, sorry? And the rainbow belt, the kind of fizzy rainbow multicolour one.

Kind of sour a bit? Very sour, I think. Oh, that one, yeah. It's one of those ones encased in kind of sugary crystals. better than a UFO, although that doesn't take much beating, but still not a personal favourite of mine. No, it's a bit much, but so far it's the first fizzy, sour thing represented, which I do like generally as a genre.

So yeah, I would pick that over a UFO. Yeah, fair. I think in my older years I've become less tolerable, tolerance of sour, extreme sourness. less just too much. You strike me as a boy who used to eat toxic wastes a lot when you were younger. Oh, 100%. By the bucket, yeah. Of course he did.

Many a school trip, coach trips were spent, shoving your mouth. Yeah. Not being able to taste for a week afterwards. Childhood. Christ. One of my personal favorites, the fizzy bubble gum bottle, I was like these kind of like the pink and blue bottles. Oh, the blue and pink ones, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I was like, I really like that flavor. And that's against. Different to a chocolate jazzy, but still chocolate and fun, the chocolate mouse. A classic white chocolate, or I guess you get dark chocolate as well. But yeah, chocolate mice. Actually, one of the few times I wasn't upset to get chocolate in my picking mix because it was quite a sizable chunk. It was like a bit, like a proper chunk of chocolate.

Those are, although I do like my pencils, those probably are my number one pick and mix sweet personally. I do love a white chocolate mouse and people will, I'll still get given them sometimes by family if they go somewhere like on holiday to the seaside for a weekend or something they might come back with a bag of chocolate mice

because I do really like them. I like how I started this by saying I don't really eat sweets anymore and I've just talked about how like, oh if I see a pencil I will buy it in the market. But yeah, I do really like them. Yeah, 100% behind you on that. White mice are delicious.

really good and while the you know that i said earlier that i just like all the bottles this one's a bit too extravagant for me not really a huge fan of the sweeties that have actual sugar on top of them as well a bit gritty they're almost a bit those pink and blue ones like almost make your mouth foam a bit like yes combines with your saliva it gets kind of frothy in a weird way yeah throwbacks i forgot about that sensation entirely but yeah you're right interesting And sadly, the mice reigns supreme this time. And our last pairing is the giant strawberry versus the humble bon bon, bon, bon, bon. I hate the giant strawberries.

I don't know why, because they are just gummy, but I think it's just a lot of gummy all at once. And, oh, they make me feel unwell. Bon, bon, bon, am I correct in thinking that as you break that down in your mouth, it gets a bit chewy? Yeah, starts powdery and gets chewy. I like those. Like you, I'm not a big fan of the big strawberries. I think mainly my sweety proclivities tend to veer away from the fruity-flavored ones,

if that makes sense. You know, colour is sort of mixed fruit-flavored, whatever the hell it's supposed to be. Star anus, if you remember. Yes, star anews, exactly. But ones that are pretending to be other fruits, not such a big fan. And so, yeah, while I never really had

bon, bon, bon bonbons all that much, I definitely prefer them. Yeah, fair. Yeah, the thinking man's sweet, the bonbon. You have to hold your mouth through our thing and ponder on the flavors. Yeah, I used to love a giant strawberry, but I think I'd definitely err on the side

of bonbons now as well. When I was about 13, talking of a lot of gummy, someone bawled me one of those, like, novelty giant gummy bears. Oh, God. I took, like, one bite of that, and I felt, so unwell. It's really strange because I presume it actually is just made with the same recipe

and it is just the same stuff. But if you have a lot of it in one mouthful, even though you might quite happily eat a whole bag of gummy bears over, you know, a half hour or an hour as a kid, if you have it all in one go, before you even swallow it, you feel unwell. So, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, that's just a lot in the mouth. Yeah. Keep him small. All right. I think. I think, yeah, quarter semi-finals. Yep, we're on to the quarters, so let's see. Some of my favourites have been knocked out, which is a bit sad. There's a big proponent of the fizzy bubble gun bottle and giant strawberry and whatnot,

but this is a group list. Everyone has different. That's the joys of picking mixed, boys. You pick and you mix to your heart. You do. Yeah, that's true. We have pencils. What did you call them?

Sorry, Peter. I feel like pencils was just what I thought they were called. They are definitely called pencils sometimes, but also cables. cables versus the giant cola bottle I feel like that's I feel like that's an easy one for me at least I'm a pencil boy I'm a cola boy

oh okay well I do appreciate the giant cola bottle but I like yeah the pencil is just nice especially when you go to like a fairground or something maybe you get like a really long meter long one it's like an event it's uh yeah i think pencils are kind of more fun more colors more flavors more versatile i'd hesitate more

if it was up against the mini cola bottle the regular size one but large i'm i'm all right i'll take a pencil all right or maybe it'll come up against the yeah it might come up later i'll tell you a giant sweetie that's not on here that i used to really get excited about whenever i'd find it and i was having pick a mix it's the giant snake yes a giant gummy snake and it was like this is incredible look at how long it is. Amazing. I used to eat them all through uni. Like I think one of my friends live next to a corner shop.

I had them like pretty much every day I'd go in and pay a 20p for a giant snake. It's true. It's so good. Something I really like that's not a pick and mix suite, but it is a traditional sweet shop suite is a pear drop. Oh. Which I, those aren't particularly popular. People aren't so into those generally, but I really like pear drops. Yeah.

Old people's sweets when your teeth don't work anymore. Yeah, they are. They are an old person sweet. Next up is love hearts versus milk bottles. Not even a competition. Milk bottles for me. Well, I would choose love hearts, but I appreciate I might be in the minority there. You're a pair of milk toast white guilt boys.

That's us. Yeah. I feel so strongly against love hearts that I'm quite happy in just going, yes, milk bottles for this one. Go for it, Mikey. That's fine. co-a-bottle bracket small versus the rainbow belt colobolts

I think yeah the bottle small I was hoping we'd have cola bottle big and cola bottle small facing off in the finale the chocolate mouse versus the bonbon

white mice mouse for me yeah fair all right we've got I think a fairly good mixture here in the semis pencils

versus milk bottles what of weird oh, crakey shit, actually that is a hard one I'll take the pencil but only because I personally don't like the milk bottles but I appreciate that other people do

so I'm backing the milky bees in this one I think for this one it's milky bees just because it's such a unique flavour that you don't get anywhere else like...

Yeah, it is, yeah it's very unique that's true I don't I don't think I've already tired of the milk bottle like it's the kind of sweet that with that with like it could sustain over a long time because there's not too much it's not too chemically too fruity it's a subtle gentle sweet flavor that carries you through so yeah doesn't make your saliva taste weird afterwards and you need something savory to reset your palate there you go yeah milk savory Next up we have Kola Bottle Small versus Chocolate Mouse Oh, that's a tough one Oh god

That's a tough one The mouse is always going to be my favourite but I Coler bottles are royalty So I'll say mouse but Shrug Cola bottles are royalty But I think I'm going to go mouse as well

It's been a long time since I've had a white mouse a white mice I think is what I grew up calling them Yeah white mice Yeah I think I'd agree the same Like cola bottles are nice But there's a I don't know The chocolate mice are a treat

Yeah So many cola bottles are out But big cola bottles are still in No wait No the giant cola bottles got knocked out By pencils a few rounds ago sadly Oh right Oh did it? Okay

Yeah true true So our final battle is between The milk bottle And the chocolate mouse This is brutal This is really hard. Creamy, creamy goodness. Oh, no.

Kind of my favorite and least favorite, sweet. We almost need to know which one Mikey's picking, because that's going to, that's what's going to decide it. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Hmm. Chocolate mice lovely, but I think the milk bottle is the humble sweet because as well, I mean,

it's a working class suite. Exactly. It's a blue collar sweet. Yeah. White mice are a bit. more Tory, I think. Harkin's back to the days where the horse and horse cart would come and deliver your milk to the streets.

Yeah. That's going to make people so furious. People will be so cross. Before we started this fight, I thought, well, I know for a fact if milk bottles comes up, it's going out in the first round because no one likes milk bottles. And you two are both like, oh, I love my milk bottles me. Love the milk, milky bees. You want to know what's most fucked up about them?

Looking at photos of them now that I'm going to put one on the three. red. They do often come with like flour on them, don't they? Like a powder. Yes. It's really weird. Why are they so nice? Or not. I've noticed that before. I've not had many milk bottles in my time, only the Harrybo ones. That is a controversial winner. I think, but like, I feel's right. I mean, I think, yeah, again, you found the two biggest fans possible of this thing. It's true. We're the only people in the world and Peter just got overruled. It's not democracy, is it? Surely the most working man's suite of all is the horrible beer glass. No one likes it.

Mikey refused to even enter into the tournament. Oh dear. Well, yeah, I can't believe it. That is a surprise. That is a shock. Like, yeah, fried egg, ow, cold bottle, ow, all done by the underdogs, I think. I think, yeah, it goes to show that being interesting, being unique, being different, being a treat. That's what's most important.

everywhere. Get out of here, Harry Bo. It's, I wait, no, milk bottles are Harry Bull. But the other thing with milk bottles is you got a strawberry milk variety as well, which is pretty good. I can't say, I should try that. Maybe I'd like it more. That was a good thing. Yeah, yeah. I see the gift that keeps on giving the milk bottle. Crowns, champion of the mix-up.

Poddietz, we, at Poddietz, we all love milk bottles. Peter, get your thumbs up. You agree. We all love milk bottles. Yeah. fantastic thank you boys that was a longie actually

but I think that was that was good discussion we all brought something there despite maybe not all being sweetie men anymore we've grown we have experience it's the way of the way of the tournament game

we all we'll have to bring our thoughts and sometimes we don't always agree but in the end something we're usually wrong anyway yeah wonderful well thank you very much Mikey that was great

I have got my listener submitted thing here. It comes from Connor Bennett at C Bennett underscore 12 on Twitter. This is an article from, God, they've got a difficult to read logo, at WLRFM.com. Okay. Some kind of radio station. Garda in West Waterford investigating unexplained sexual noise at funerals. Funerals, plural. Yes. Oh, my God. This was written by Damien Tiernan. Garda investigating complaints of unwanted noise in the village of Kilgobnett near Dungarvan. The complaints come after a number of people attending funerals at the local church said they were upset at the noise, some of which has sexual content.

The church at Kilgobnott is at the heart of the community and has adjoining old and new cemeteries. In recent times, churchgoers have spoken to WLR and contacted the Garder about what they say is noise in the area when mass is on sometimes, or funerals or other services at the church. There was no commas there. They have complained to Garda that the noise appears to be coming from a location not in the church. Some of the noise, they say, contains sexual slurs played on what is believed to be some sort of repeating audio speaker system. They say, they say has caused much upset to many parishioners, especially the elderly and families recently bereaved. Gardner have confirmed to WLR that they are investigating reports of offensive audio material

being played on a continuous basis at certain times in the vicinity of Kilgobnett, Dungarvan, County Waterford in recent weeks. They say investigations are ongoing at this time. So what it sounds like is someone is playing porn noises on a speaker directed at the church during mass. During mass and funerals, plural, from a hidden location. That's bizarre. That is. Really odd, isn't it? I mean, maybe to like a 13-year-old, that would be funny, but my God, maybe it's the priest.

He's just got a little clicker. Whenever things get boring, he livens it up with a little sound bite to wake everyone. It's not the worst thing a priest has done. Oh, true. Yeah. What a strange thing to do. I just like how mysterious it is. No one knows where it's coming from.

It is mysterious. I can not understand. Like, I still don't think it would be appropriate. But if you, for some reason, were just really anti-religion, for instance, and maybe you thought, I'm going to disrupt weekly services on Sundays at like 9 a.m. or whatever it is, that's when I'm going to do it. But to like also do it during actual funerals. Like that's not, that's not some sort of like protest.

That's just being a dick. So like what could be the reason other than someone maybe getting some kind of very sadistic enjoyment out of it? I don't know. I haven't a clue. I'm just hoping that the noises aren't live. Yeah. They're just playing them.

There's a lot of possibilities here that have to be considered. it. Well, keep our eyes there close, keep our eyes on this case as it develops and see if they find. Surely the speaker can't be impossible to find. I know. Like,

unless they've got some special government really highly directional speaker. Just phonically directing sex sounds directly. Yeah, it's such a weird thing to do. Maybe it's not happening at regular enough intervals. Maybe it's not like every Sunday or every funeral. So it's sort of happening at,

a certain day and you know the vicar's in the middle of doing his his service and all the people there are there for church or for a funeral so there's not really anyone there to go and find it you know if the police were there at every service then maybe they could sort of try and track it down but do you think he like starts every sermon with a warning if you hear anything weird just ignore it it's it's the birds in the ceiling it's just a building settling That's not what it sounds like That's not what that means Oh God

Very odd Well as Mikey said We'll let you know if we hear any more on this topic Yeah or do let us know Please submit it as a thing If you see more to this story in future Absolutely But for now it's time to move on

To Peter's thing So it is yes I want to Do some monkey talk today. As we all know, there was, of course, a man inside a gorilla suit at one time who learned sign language. His name was Coco and he died. He met Robin Williams and he died. He did. The two were related. Yeah. So I saw a thing yesterday and thought, that's for Podiat's. But I've got a supplementary thing to start with. So we've got a couple of stories here.

about some famous chimpanzees. We'll start with G-A, if I'm saying that right, G-U-A. G-U-A was a chimpanzee, this is Weird Capitia, by the way. We're on Wikipedia here. A chimpanzee raised as though she were a human child by scientists, Luella and Winthrop Kellogg, no relation to the Kellogg serial fortune. Yeah. Alongside their infant son, Donald.

Donald Kellogg, what a name. Gouer was the first. chimpanzee to be used in a cross-rearing study in the US. Goua was born on November 15th, 1930 in Havana, Cuba. She was given, along with her mother, Patty and her father, Jack, to the Old Orange Park, Florida site of the Yerkes Regional Primate Research Center by Pierre Abro on the 13th of May, 1931, after the death of his mother, Madame Rosalia Abro.

Wow. the mother of the man, not the mother of the chimp. Oh, okay. I also thought that. Why does the chimp's mother have a last name? That's really weird. Madame Chim. Gouer was brought into the Kellogg home at the age of seven and a half months and reared with

their son Donald, who was 10 months old at the time. For nine months, the Kellogg's raised the two as brother and sister and tested, sorry, and comprehensively recorded the development of the chimpanzee and human child. And the reason they were doing this is because they were interested in studying primate development and kind of human development as well you can kind of compare the two

and just see what happens. Let's just do this and see what happens. It's really fucked up to do that, Donald. I'm not going to lie. Well, wait until you hear where this story goes. When she was around one year old, Goua often tested ahead of Donald in such tasks as responding to simple commands

or using a cup and spoon. So Donald was worse than it. at age one, but that's fine. God. Slight differences in their placement included people recognition. Goua recognized people from their clothes and their smell, while Donald recognized

them by their faces. But the parting difference came with language. Donald was about 16 months, but Goua was a little over a year old when they both had language testing. Gua could not speak, but Donald could form words.

On March 28th, 1932, nine months into the experiment, the Kellogg's officially ended it, and Gouwer was returned to the primate centre with Robert Yerkes in Florida, where she was the subject of further studies by Yerkes's wife, Ada. The Kellogg's returned to Indiana. Now, there's been a lot of suspicion as to why the experiment was ended. It apparently ended quite abruptly, and the Kellogg's who were normally quite forthcoming, with all aspects of this part of their life

and the experiment as a whole didn't give a reason as to why they'd ended it. But the sort of rumours amongst the psychological community is that rather than Goua starting to imitate human speech, which is one of the things they were hoping to happen, Donald actually started behaving like a chimp and he was copying her

and like mimicking her sounds and so they very quickly decided okay we're getting rid of this chimpanzee immediately otherwise our boy might grow up to behave like Tarzan! Tarzan, yeah Tarzan boy yeah Look what they depraved this earth of

The one boy could have been the real like Tarzan And poor Gour as well raised with love and care Now you've got to go live outside in the sanctuary again now You love cold and wet, go on Treated like a chimp, yeah Well she loves cold and wet to the point that she died of pneumonia in 1933 People who die of pneumonia love it.

They do, less than a year after she left the Kellogg's family and just after turning three years old, which I think for chimps is not a good age to die. So that's the heartwarming story of Goua, the Chimp. But we're now going to move on more towards the subject of communication la Cocoa the Gorilla with the story of NIM, that's N-E-A-M, but sometimes spelled N-I-M as a nickname,

Nim Chimpsky. It's like N-M-Chimpsky. Very good. NIMCim-Cim-Chi was a chimpanzee and the subject of an extended study of animal language acquisition at Columbia University. Within the context of a scientific study, Chimpsky was named as a pun on linguist Nome Chomsky,

who posits that humans are wired to develop language. As part of a study intended to... to challenge Chomsky's thesis that only humans have language, beginning at two weeks old, NIM was raised by a family in a home environment by human surrogate parents. The surrogate parents had already had a human child of their own. At age two, Nym was removed from his surrogate parents and taken to Columbia University due to perceived behavioral difficulties. The project was similar to an earlier study in which another chimpanzee, Washoe, was raised

like a human child. reviewing the results. Well, spoilers, this is all in the opening paragraph. So that's the context. That's the backstory. So since 98.7% of the DNA in humans and chimps is identical. Some scientists, but not Noam Chomsky, it says in parentheses, believed a chimpanzee raised in a human family and using American sign language would shed light on the way language is acquired and used by humans. And the theory behind this is that some people think that chimps have the capacity to develop complex language, but the reason that they can't talk to us in other studies that

have been done, like GUE, is that they don't have the actual anatomical ability to produce human speech. So if you instead teach them sign language, they will, in theory, be able to, um, produce complex language is the idea um so the study went on and uh over time uh nim chimski seemed to develop the ability to speak with sign language just like the human man who is inside the cocoa the gorilla uh costume um and uh Wikipedia lists some quotations from nim chimski now i'm going to ask you to pay close attention here because there is A bit of a running theme you might be able to spot here.

So picture it. You've got a chimpanzee, and perhaps for the first time, or one of the first times, you're able to communicate with it directly. And these are some of the things that it said after gaining the ability to speak to human beings. Apple, me, eat. These are three sign quotations, done with three words, signs. Apple me eat

Banana nym eat Banana me eat Drink me nim Eat nim eat Eat nim eat eat me Eat me nim Eat me eat Give me eat

Grape eat nim Me nim eat More eat nym To be fair If I could only communicate That would probably be a similar line That I'd go on It's like Ben food

Food Ben Food for Ben Ben eat eat and there is a slight diversion into tickle me nym but then there's also tickle me eat even even whilst playing tickle games there is also the thought of food while they're doing that there are some four sign quotations though which is where it gets far more interesting banana nym banana nym does whatever a banana nym can yes banana me eat banana Drink nym, drink nim, drink, drink, eat, drink, eat.

Eat, nim, grape eat nim, grape eat me, nim, grape eat me, eat, drink more, me eat, me eat. I think the problem was, he only taught the monkey like three words. Yeah, it seems like that. And presumably, when it did stuff correctly, they probably fed it a banana or some grapes or something. However, the real. the reason I identified this even as a story worth talking about is because this next fact

was what I saw on Twitter the other day and this is the longest recorded quotation by any chimpanzee using American Sign Language it is a 16 word long sentence by NIM and NIM said on one occasion give orange me give eat orange

me eat orange give me eat orange give me you that that's the extent of chimpanzee communication um so those were the results really is the uh and the interpretation of the hungry yeah it was a hungry chimp and the interpretation of some of these results by other scientists um like peer review was basically this chimp it doesn't even necessarily know what it's saying per se. It just understands that if it does certain signs, it will get a reward, which is not the... And some people say, well, that's what speaking is. If I speak, I know that it's going to have a certain effect on you, and that it's a cause and affecting. But that's not really the same as understanding meaning. Although there is somewhere in this article, I did see, actually, or maybe this was the other one, Washo, that we talked

about earlier, a previous chimp. Yes, it was. Apparently, Upon seeing a bird, upon seeing a swan, Washoe signed water and bird, which the psychologist running the experiment said was like getting an SOS from outer space. I think it's the idea that they're kind of creating, when they don't have a word for a certain thing, if they're able to put two signs together,

that maybe implies that there's some level of understanding. But anyway, we come to the end of Project NIM now. spoiler warning it's it's not a great ending oh no yeah so nym was eventually transferred back to the institute for primate studies in oklahoma where he struggled to adapt after being treated like a human child for the first decade of his life and a chimp from that point on

he also never previously met another chimpanzee and he had to get used to them oh god he must been bullied relentlessly oh nim one banana And Nim won't orange. He's just going, me eat banana. Yeah. So, Nim developed friendships with several of the workers at the Institute of Primate Studies and learned a few more signs, including a sign named Stone Smoke Time Now, which indicated that Nim wanted to smoke marijuana.

Oh. Stone smoke time now. It is. It is Stone Smoke Time now. Well done, Nim. That's rad. the institute later sold NIM to the laboratory for experimental medicine and surgery in primates and I'll skip over exactly what NIM was used for while NIM was there

but there were some medical experiments conducted on NIM but eventually NIM's quality of life improved after being purchased by the Black Beauty Ranch operated by the fund for animals which sounds like Like it might be a, you know, like a kind of a shelter for certain animals. Nym lived primarily in isolation inside a pen. But although he began to show hostility that included throwing TVs and killing a dog. Oh my God. When did he get access to a TV?

I don't know. Multiple TVs as well. He began to show hostility that included throwing TVs and killing a dog. God. NIM's behavior and overall well-being improved. though, when other chimpanzees, several from the laboratory that he'd been at previously, joined Nim inside his pen after about a decade at the Black Beauty Ranch. Nim continued to show signs of the sign language he'd learned decades ago

whenever a former trainer at the Institute for Primate Studies went to visit him. And Nim died in 2000 at the age of 26, so better than Goa, certainly. So, um... Bless him. There you go, a 16 word sentence. Give orange me, give, eat orange, me, eat orange, give me, eat orange, give me you. It's a really good sentence. It is a good sentence.

I mean, it's very, yeah, you very much understand what it is he wants. Yeah, you really, really wants the orange. Please. Oh, God. That's it. That's the story of Nim Chimski. Wonderful. I mean, it's just a good name as well.

Nim. Yeah, it is. Well, thank you very much for that, Peter. You're very well. welcome. Mikey, I would like your listener submitted thing, please. This one has been submitted by Evan

at Mr. Harder on Twitter and can you believe it it's another bird inside of an establishment of some sort. Oh, no, God. What now? This time on Bird News we have a story

from Wales Online by Sophie Watson and Howard Lloyd. This is a two people wrote this article. Yep. Video shows Seagull causing carnage inside takeaway after flying in and running a mock. This is a first, I think. Yes. Would you like to see the video first or hear the story first and then see the carnage?

You decide, Mikey. It's up to you. I'm going to say we'll read and then we'll show the video. Good God, it's all playing and there's some drama in it. Good Lord. I love, I really love how we are now. the number one stop for all of your bird in establishment stories. I think summer birds are just doing it so they can be talked about on the podcast. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. It's like having an ASBO. It's like, oh, I got to talk about and pot it

it the day. Oh, my God. Well, the first line of the story spoils, well, it gives you the results of the video, so I'll just read it because it's quite funny to read and text and then see it in person. A reveller has been hailed a hero for grabbing a dog. It's dog-sized seagull by its tail. It's not dog-sized, by the way. It's not. It's not. I will show you the video after reading this sentence

because maybe this is a site that needs to be seen. If it is dog-sized, I know a chimp who could kill it, if that helps. Grabbing a dog-sized seagull by its tail and throwing it out of a chicken shop as it caused chaos. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's a seagull in a chicken shop takeaway. Let's go. I've just sent the article through to you. We'll watch it together.

It's a 40-second clip. Oh, God. It's flying round and round in circles, skidding. Sorry, we're watching it together. Are we saying three to one? No, I think we can just watch it on our own because it's a seagull. Yeah, it's a seagull going absolutely bonkers in a takeaway.

There's food all over the floor, but probably that's not from the seagull. That's just from the drunk people. And then, yeah, quite majestically, throws it out the window, gets out, and flies away. What a, what a saint. Oh, God. It's insane.

Well, let's learn about... I've not been listening with sound, but I can see people laughing. They're loving it. I think this is... Yeah, this is going to be a lot of drunk hollering. Yeah. Well, let's find out about the hero of this story.

Yes. Jacob Watson and his friends were at a takeaway in Swansea, Wales, at 3am on Sunday, June 9th, when the large bird flew inside to hunt for an early morning snack. hilarious footage filmed by his friend shows Jacob chasing the seagull around the chicken shop as other customers screamed and ran out

the contracts manager can be seen casually grabbing the bird by its tail opening the kebab shop door and lobbing him outside My favourite bit is that no one opens the door for him No No he's on his own there With a seagull in one hand

And the staff are doing very little I think at one point you briefly see someone Way in the back room But they're not or they're just blurred out I know they are there actually but they're just so heavily blurred they can't really see them but yeah

his friends continue to film the event other lads in the group can be seen crying with laughter at Jacob's Keog Behaviour the viral TikTok video has been viewed more than one million times with users hailing him a hero

and some even calling on the chicken shop to give him free chips for life God they should he'd be like a seagull he'd be like the seagull coming outside

waiting for free chips all the time yeah all my chips At about 3am, we all fancied some chicken And then the seagull flew in and started causing carnage Everyone ran out and I just started chasing it around the chicken shop I think the seagull wanted some chicken wings and chips I just thought I'd chase it around

Because it'd be funny Well, there you go, not for the safety of the business But just for something funny It'd still be funny I didn't really think about it The poor woman with the burger in the kebab shop was so scared and ran out. Riveting coverage of the scene here.

People in the comments mentioned that I should get free foods, but I was already stuck with chicken and chips at this point, so I didn't even go back in. I just lobbed the seagull out, and then I was chatting to the couple in there, and the poor woman with her burger, they said, well done, and that was it. God, words.

Yeah, he should have got something free, I think. Yeah, like, yeah, even just like a can of Dr. Pepper to take home with him. I'm sorry to read ahead, but have you seen that further down the article, there's a close-up, a stock image of a man smiling, and the caption underneath it is a man smiling at the camera. I think, to be fair, I think some of those descriptions are for people with visual impairments. Right, I thought it was a caption to the image, as in, you know. There's some other good captions in that article as well for similar reasons.

yeah the image I'm seeing it's just is the pictures chopped off at his nose you don't actually see you see the man smiling but not um well that's why I thought it might be a stock image because I thought it perhaps been auto genera like the the caption had been just generated based on they've ripped it from a stock image website but no maybe it is maybe it's the the guy from the video but he's just been cropped badly I don't know but yeah that will be it's like alt text isn't it the uh the caption you're right yeah there's a little bit more about him but they basically just reiterate the same thing where he

grabbed all the Seagull and threw it out the shop. The article closes on the line the chicken shop has been contacted for comment but sadly no comments yet. Good. The Seagull has been contacted for comments. It's gone to a different chicken shop.

We'll catch up with it soon I'm sure. Yeah. We'll do something. Another kebab shop incident. There you go. Watch yourselves out there when you're getting your chicken and chips. Dangerous. Thank you very much, Mikey. Thank you.

Thank you. And thank you, Evan, for submitting that. It's now time for my thing. And it is the fortnightly Instagram quickfire Q&A session. Once every two weeks, we take it in turns to ask, I think, eight quickfire questions that we have sourced from Instagram. You can follow us on Instagram at viduets. Dot official to get involved with that. I've got them in front of me now.

Are you guys ready? Yes. Am Catoes asks how many owls before it's an unnerving number of owls? I've seen this question before on the internet and I have thought long and hard about this. I think if you see four owls, that's unnerving. That's exactly the number I came to. Like, one's fine, two's a couple, three's just hanging out before. What are they up to? That's not good. That's too many to justify.

Three is like, oh, wow, I feel so lucky. I fancy seeing three owls in one night, you know, in one place. But four is like, no, no, no, no. It's like they know something. Yeah. See, I've only ever seen one owl in isolation, I think, in the wild. I'd be kind of free-touching out if I just saw two hanging out. They're like, oh, yeah.

How's this possible? I didn't think these guys hung out ever. I've not seen two together, but I've seen two together, but I've seen. two different owls in one night before Right. Are you sure it wasn't the same owl? No, because one was a barn owl and one was not. It was something else. Yeah.

Fair enough. Next question. Herney 777 asks Shagmary Kill, sentient vehicle edition, Budgie the helicopter, Brum the car or Thomas the tank engine. I mean, I feel like

at least Budgie is canonically a child. is it yeah yeah he's like yeah he's like hey I'm budgie wow I think he even wears a little cap doesn't he maybe not I can't even remember

you say we have to kill the child yeah possibly that might be the kindest thing to do yeah just a bit of a bit of helicopter murder he's called budgie the little helicopter and wears a cap oh Jesus okay never mind he wears a helicopter cap like kids wear you know

yeah propeller hat how do you feel about Brum and Thomas. Brum is, whatever the opposite of anthropomorphic is. He's objectified enough that he, you could argue he's any age. So if I had to shag Brum, I could do it, you know? Think of England.

Yeah, is Thomas of legal age to marry? I think it's being overthought. I agree that Budgie is a weird one having now seen a photo of Budgie I think that reflects poorly on Herney 777 But Brum and Thomas I feel like have been around for decades Right

I'm adding that picture of Budgie to the threads Just so people know I think Thomas has a face for marriage Yeah He looks marriageable Yeah it looks reliable So yeah I'd say I'd shag the hell out of Brum And settle down with Thomas

yeah yeah i'll go with that ross ptc asks instead of chocolate what other sweet teets do you think would batter well i.e battered mars bar oh have you ever had a battered mars bar either of you no yeah once it's kind of disgusting um i think if i ate more i'd learn to like them but it was such a it's such a weird feeling like yeah this is deep fried chocolate this is weird it's greasy it's weird but I think I left it not wanting more but as time's gone on I want it more and more I think it nestles into you so it's good but wrong what else would be good for it

Malteseers maybe I'll be an interesting one I'm just wondering what would survive the process because a lot of the stuff you know we've only ever had room temperature I don't really understand how how the chocolate survives it I mean I know it does it just I guess you just really quickly like dip it and then bring it

maybe a few times, and at that point it doesn't get too hot. It does become quite melty, but I think the batter kind of contains it. Cold it in, yeah, true, true. Melty exterior. I don't want to do milky bees, because I think they would just melt inside, and that would be unpleasant. Maybe Oreos, do you reckon you could deep fry an Oreo? Probably.

I could see that. Yeah, maybe, maybe some kind of biscuit, yeah. Do you know what, I think it would be quite nice battered, like, Viennese whirl Or something Oh yeah Or a Campino No

A Campino Yeah That would melt That might be all right But Mm-hmm I say chuck a banana in there See what happens

That'd be quite fun actually Yeah I bet that exists already That must have been done But yeah Battered banana Yeah that would be nice I think

Battered apple as well Would also be good That's basically just stewed fruit Isn't it? Yeah I guess so Yeah Not really in the spirit

the question, but anyway, G. Mather 27 asks, what emotion would you voice in an inside-out three? I'm, I get told that sometimes I say stuff and it sounds sarcastic when it's not. So maybe, maybe I'd be sorry. Well, that's not really an emotion, is it? But I mean, my answer is just going to be fart. So, um, would be what? Sorry, farts. Fart. The emotion of fart. Yeah. Yeah. I'd go with glutton. Okay. NIM give orange. Orange NIM. Yeah. Music by Peacekeeper asks, what machine slash appliance would be most ideal and or least likely to rebel if it gained sentience? Um, hmm. What machine has it, has it good? Is there a machine that actually gets a pretty good life? I mean, no.

No, because they're all doing stuff that we don't want to do by hand. I think the coffee machine, because without us, the coffee machine wouldn't be able to survive. It's grown a dependency to all the caffeine. We've punted through it over the years. And when Independence Day comes, it tries to leave, but it's riddled with withdrawal symptoms. It has to come crawling back. So I think it would unwillingly give in just so he keep getting, getting it's caffeine fix.

I get good vibes off the dishwasher. I don't know why. It just seems like a member of the family. It feels like it would enjoy its work. Yeah, I think so. It depends on how you treat your dishwasher. Because whenever I've had dishwashers, I'm always friendly to the dishwasher.

I always clean off the plates a little bit beforehand, so the dishwasher's not doing too much work. But I think if you're the kind of person who just chucks everything in there with dried food and stuff on it, then I think your dishwasher would come for blood. And if your dishwasher did come for blood, it would be one of the worst machines to come after you

because it could throw knives at you. God, yeah. That would be really bad. While the kettle could spit boiling water at you if it wanted to, I think the kettles are pretty nice one. We don't ask much of kettles. You know, just get hot when we turn you on. That's it.

That's it. I could feel like, again, similar to mistreating a dishwasher by putting stuff caked in muck in there. people this is certainly the case in our office peter but people who fill the kettle up way beyond where they need it to and boil a whole full kettle and then just have a mug of tea or whatever I feel like the kettle would be pretty annoyed about that because that's unnecessary work for the kettle and also a waste of energy

yeah but the alternative you know I'm thinking of appliances that will be bad to gain sentience I think the toaster would be a bad one you wouldn't be safe in anybody of water ever that will be terrifying so yeah any others I think

I think kettle coffee machine dishwasher they're all friends yeah everything else evil and stay away Matt Millwood

would like to know your most unpopular opinion oh god most unpopular opinion Oh, that's a hard one, isn't it? I bet we've all got things, but trying to think of these things on the spot sometimes is tricky. My stance has softened over the years, but I still maintain that I think Halloween is stupid.

Yeah, that's a fairly unpopular opinion. I think Halloween is a silly thing for adults to get excited about, really. Kids, I sort of get it because you get sweets, but I don't need an excuse to hang out with my friends and get drunk. I feel like Halloween's a bit. Again, unpopular opinion, a bit childish to get excited about every year. Sorry.

Yeah. Sorry. Wow. Wow. Hmm. I've got one. I don't get Keanu Reeves. I don't think I don't dislike him.

I don't think he's a bad person. But I don't really understand why people have, that he's got almost this like cult who think he's like the best thing ever yeah I don't I don't really get it seems like a really nice guy but there are lots of nice guys

I think that's the thing is like why is he like better than lots of other seemingly quite nice celebrities he's on a pedestal for certain people like far above people who I would consider probably very actually similar to him so yeah

I feel I'm struggling to think of one. I feel like all my opinions are just very popular. He's such a normie, Mikey. Boo. I definitely have some feelings about things, but I don't think any of that unpopular, sadly. I think, yeah, yeah, maybe it's something I'll come to me.

But sadly, I've got nothing for right now, Ben. That's okay. It's all right. Thank you. Kay Hudson 64 asks, how often do you have a bath or a bath? Is it a treat for you, or is it regular? Or is it regularly, hang on, is it a treat for you, or is it regularly, or do you not have one?

I, uh, it is a treat to me, but it's a regular treat. I have a bath like every few days. I will always, I'll have at least like probably two baths a week, and if not more than that. Oh my God. I think it's been years since my last bath. I'm a staunch anti-bath man. I just don't get it. They're just weird and you just sit and you sit and sweat and be warm for like half an hour

then get out. It's just boring, man. I can't do it anymore. This guy had death old baths when he was a kid. Yeah. You can tell. Bad associate. Don't put me in the bath.

Take me to the hospital. I have now reached a point where there was a time where I could just have a bath and just sit for like half an hour and just enjoy the peace and quiet. But now I do take my phone into the bath or possibly read a book, but usually my phone. So I have devolved, I think, into the, the 21st century baths of having your phone with you. But I enjoy it. You do what you want, Peter. It's definitely an entertainment experience for me.

I had a bath just before we recorded. And we have one of those trays that goes across the bath. That has a thing that folds up so you can lean stuff on it, which is perfect for an iPad. However, before that, I would usually find something like a washing basket to put a laptop on or something and I'd stick a TV show on. Take an adult beverage into the bath. Real self-care level stuff. I didn't do that this evening. But I tend to have at least one bath a week.

Normally showers because it feels like I've got something to do every pissing evening and I don't have time. but I do try to make a point of having a bath and it being a treat so that's it for me Suss Susser underscore Samwise asks and this is the final question In your next life you will be reincarnated as a bird What bird do you choose to be

Not bird of prey I will be the seagull inside of the chicken shop Please Yeah actually I think like pigeon surely just because you get eat chips and pizza off the floor on the ground all the time. Like that sounds like a pretty good life to me. So yeah, give me the humble pigeon. I'd like to be a Robin because I feel like no one hates Robbins.

They have a lovely reputation. And it's associated with a pretty magical time of year. And everyone was like a Robin. And they don't want to get a photo of you, you know? Be nice. I had a nice encounter with a Robin at the weekend. Oh, yeah, saw that. Yeah.

Sat eating my lunch and a little Robin came and flew. He hung around me. for like 10 minutes and like flying around picking crumbs off a floor and then he flew like within inches of me and then he stole a bloody crumb from my plate and flew off there's an absolute thief so yeah they may look cute and unassuming but that's just a decoy to get in and steal your delicious crumbs they can be very brave robins apparently robins um follow people around when they're gardening if they're digging in their garden because you turn up the worms so you'll get robins that we'll just like hang around you very close for, you know, minutes or hours at a time even

if you're, if it's waiting for you to dig up some worms for it. Yeah. Oh, cute. There you go. Worm for Ben. Well, there we are. That is my thing. Courtesy of our wonderful followers on Instagram at vidiots dot official, if you want to get involved there.

Thank you very much, guys, for all of your things today. No problem. I believe Michael Johnson there's some kind of shop, question mark. You're darn Tudin. If you head over to Vidyidsofficial.com and click on that lovely enticing

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doing stuff. Good. Poddiots.com is where you need to go and donate three pounds or more to join Pod Squad and get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of Podiot. Support what we're doing here. Thank you so much to this week's Pod Squad. Mikey, can you kick us off, please? The River Seven is the longest river in Great Britain. in Cat Deely wearing helies Bibble on my Rumpy Dumple John Cravens

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I'll tell you, Skyrim Zoo, Chapter 14. Jesus Christ, it's dragon-born. Sunday, Fundy, you're in the movies, part two. Memory cards for June the 11th. Merch has arrived. That's our first set of merch. Poddiet's episode 8, The Whizzinator. Post some tat number 17, you'll need Jesus.

Worst games ever game selection for the 14th of June. Prove it, Pass Bar 2, The Starving Artist, Part 1. Worst Games ever Pimp My Ride. Skyrim Zoo Chapter 15, the Responsible War for Sky. Irim. Series finale. Wow. A lot of series. Sunday for Jurassic World Evolution. Memory cards June the 18th.

Whoops, just drop my phone there. Prove it, pass part two. The Starving Artist Part 2. Postum tat number 18. I've had to go to Burger King. I've had to go to Burger King. To Burger King. Making celebrities in Fallout 3 challenge

where we made Mr. Bean. And finally, on the day this podcast releases, Prove It, Paspartout, the Starving Artist, Live Action Challenge, where we did some painting on Ben's balcony. Oh, yes. Beautiful. Michael Johnson, where are you on the internet? Ant Powerboy on Twitter and Instagram. Those are the best places to keep up with me these days.

Your comings and doings? My comings and doings. You better believe it. And Peter, I would say, where are we? But we're actually taking a month off triple jump, aren't we? That's right, at the moment. We're enjoying a one month sabbatical, but in our place over at triplejump.com, not dot com, at triplejur.mup or at team triple jump, you can find Dick Michinko and Brian Bumpiss,

the military man and newsreader, respectively, who have stepped in since we made some bad predictions at Summer Game Fest. But you can find us individually, once they've relinquished our social media accounts, at Confused underscore Dude and at that Peter Austin But at the moment you'll find Brian and Dick over there in those places as well Certainly well

Why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms And my gosh, wouldn't we just appreciate it so much? Thank you everybody for listening There's just enough time to ask a question For the audience to answer in the comments Before we go away

Do you guys have any idea what that should be? what would they have picked out of the contenders for the sweets tournament or 16 well thank you again everyone we will see you next time bye bye bye Thank you.