Podiots - Podiots: Episode 15 - Get The Flump

Episode Date: September 18, 2018

Peter's contracted a canine-related ailment, Ben brings some more real fake news, and Mikey's drinking Tango and massively exceeds his daily tangs - much to the chagrin of Ben and Peter. We're proudly sponsored by Turtle Beach! Get the Turtle Beach Headsets we wear: http://bit.ly/vidiotsbeach Buy yourself some Vidiots merch: https://yogsca.st/VidiotsMerch YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Condition supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Are we going? We are now. Oh, good. Peter? I don't know what fucking thing I'm going to talk about.

I'll just think on... Did you not bring a thing? I didn't have time. God damn it. I put so much thought into my things as well. You have a good thing about your a thing. I have my thing. I have my a thing.

I have what you haven't done. Exactly. We should have a good long hard. think about that. Peter? Yes. You're a thing? I have a thing. Yeah.

You make an example of me to the class now. Look at what Michael hasn't done. No, not necessarily. We'll see if you have a thing when your time comes. I always think of a thing. I always come through with a thing. Okay. If it is a borderline, not even a thing thing.

A shit thing. Oh, I said it. I said it. Oh, fuck. It's getting... Why are we all looking at the door? Why did you look at the door? Derps was there?

Oh, did we press the recording button? Peter, would you like to check? Peter, you need to press the recording button. Before we get in trouble with the headmaster. Oh, no. Go on, Peter. I am a prefect. Shh, no, we don't want anyone to hear.

Okay, he's doing it now. Okay, he's going. It's checking. It doesn't say record. Press the fucking button there. Press record. It says streaming. Press not what we do.

Press just above that and it should change. Is there a podcasting option? You get... Peter? There's only the option for recording or streaming. Well, we're recording, aren't we? I mean, vacant, sorry. Oh, for...

Right, hang on. I'm going, Michael, you look after. Hi, everyone. If anyone hasn't... Get out of the fight! I hate when they fight. It's really... Can we have a nice day, please,

without all this bullshit. Can anyone help me think of... Oh, they're back. Oh, I said, don't do it again! Oh, hi, Michael. Has Mammie been falling into door handles again? Oh, hi, Mike. Oh, hi, Mark.

Wow. It now says recording. Good, so we've done it. It took me precisely one fucking second. To sort it out. I'm sorry. What is wrong with you? You're like an all-married couple.

I don't work here anymore. You do work here. I'm not based here. You don't live here anymore. I forgot everything. The moment I went home. Well, then maybe you shouldn't be living here. Yeah.

You abandon me. You don't live here anymore. Oh, should we start? Art. Art. Art? Art. We don't do art on this one.

Should we start? Start. Art. We're going to start with art. That should be the new intro phrase for Air Force and Tap. We're starting. PSTI, Post-Stromatic Tress Disorder. Oh, goodness me.

Oh, goodness me. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Podiat's episode 15. It's the official podcast. What? At the Vidiot's YouTube channel, as opposed to the... unofficial one, which doesn't exist, don't do it. Don't do it. I'm Ben. Do it. I'm doing it. Someone doing it. Someone make an unofficial video's podcast. It has been an hour long. We'll listen to the entire thing. No, we won't. Michael Mite, but I won't. Michael Myers. Michael Myers.

Mice, nice, nice, nice. Mice. If you're unfamiliar with Pottie, it's, shut up. Peter Nays Spout all his water. How is your water? It's good. It's cold. Is it? Micey, icy. Yeah. What has happened? over that what Michael's just putting every word together ever I'm going to do it I've got the entire dictionary and I'm combining it with another dictionary to create all new dictionary he's slurring his words he's slurring his words had too many tangs yeah welcome this is a conversational podcast thank you where we go by the three is the rule of the three us can we can we talk about my can of tango right now so in my hand go is that your thing yeah actually

no let's let's let's let's let's fucking introduce the rest of the intro first We obey the rules of the three urs, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. Okay, Michael, you've brought a thing. What is it? It's my can of tango. Right. It's a silver can. It's orange tango sugar-free. So they've been good in the office because I don't really try and I try to avoid sugary drinks. Contains a source of phenol and a lily.

Can we address that right now? Taste of cancer. I'm sorry? What? Does sugar-free drinks give you cancer? I mean, there's supposed to be like not better for you, but... Oh, have you got a bubble in your throat there? Yeah.

It sounded like... It's meant to be a lover. Yeah. Well, can we just talk about the colour of that can? Because it's silver, and silver things are meant to be one of the better colours of things. But usually, now, they've been bastardised by Diet Coke. So that when you see a silver can, you're like, that's not going to be as good as a regular can. Well, no, I like, I prefer diet Coke over regular Coke.

Because regular Coke gives me a weird... I'm not a fan of it either. A coating on my teeth. It does. It makes your teeth fluffy, yeah. Yeah, fluffy teeth. It's pretty disgusting. Anyway, I'm just what I'll talk about Tango for a bit.

On the front, it's got a... arrow pointing towards the orange, it says slice of tang, neck tang of the gods. They're really going along the tang, the tang root. It doesn't even work. On the back it says in this can is six of your five tangs a day. That's too many. That is too many. You could die.

You could OD on tangs. God, there's more tang. Okay, so it's pointing to the exterior of the orange and it says tang ventilation. Right. It's got to get the tang out of there. And lastly, the inside, the fleshy bit of the orange is referred to as the tang glands. Are they implying that oranges

are naturally some sort of tang grenades that need to vent their tanginess, otherwise they'll just explode. That's my favorite massive... It's very bubbly, isn't it? My favorite massively multiplayer online game is World of Tang. Tangs.

Oh, World of Tangs, yeah. Good. Is there anything else? Is there anything else you want to say about it? I'm going to check the bottom of the can. While you say that, I'd like to say that we are sponsored by It expires the day before 420. He's still talking over you all the time. Turtle Beach. How long have we been doing this now?

This has been good for five minutes. No, no, not this fucking podcast. This podcast feels like it's been going on for eternity already. Just finish your thing. 15 episodes. And you're still not learned to let him do his fucking intro. Bit.ly forward slash. Go on, Michael, you can do this one.

I'm on my... I'm at my fucking wits, eh. Bad. Vidion's speech. I'm going to send you out. I'm going to send you outside in a minute. What the hell? You did a protest slurper and nearly asphyxiated yourself.

You fucking idiot. What was that? It's like the opposite of a throat buffold. Autoerotic tang asphyxiation. Oh, sorry, what was that? Bit. L.Y.4.0.4. Yeah, I'm just talking about our prestigious sponsor

that lets us do this. If you want to hear that throat choking sound in high quality, get yourself onto our affiliate link and get yourself some... The best thing about the headphones is they've got a volume knob built in, so just rewind and turn it up on your headphones themselves and listen to that. I kind of want to hear that back myself now. I'm excited to hear this. You will in like two weeks when it goes out. Shit. Because we're recording quite early on.

But that's not the point. The point is we're all here. We've got some questions. We're already a thing down. You have my permission to think up another. thing if you want. I'll try. Something will come to me. Something always comes. First question. This is from Luke Smith, at Luke Smith. Favorite takeaway. And what you usually order? At Luke Smith? Has he got at Luke Smith? Oh, no, he's got at Luke 5 myth.

It's very good though. It fooled me. Yeah. It did fool me. I looked too fast. And what do you usually order from X place for your takeaway? Oh. So I don't have a usual takeaway. I will admit I've not explored the takeaway options in Bristol much. I think the place I probably ordered from the most is a place called Uwee Burger. O-E-E-E-E-E-E-O-O-O-O-W-W-E burger. It's in Bedminster. It's lovely. Does vegan burgers. Okay.

So it's lovely. O-W-E-E. You can get garlic butter chips. Oh, that sounds delightful. That does sound good. That does sound good. Garlic and chips. By the end, you feel like a disgusting glob of garlic yourself.

Well, that's the point. And I can fucking smell it. I've got 50p extra garlic. This point is the place I frequented most. Chili Daddy, another favorite of mine in Bristol. That's like, authentic. Chinese hot pot food. With a BDSM clinic.

Just give you like a little spank on your bottom. Yeah, it's great. I don't like that. That makes me uncomfortable. That's my two favorites. I don't want to talk about the obvious. Well, I say obvious. It's obvious to us in the room.

Shneeshnaw Snappies. Shihar Shnappies, tomato pizza. Yeah, that's another one. Yeah. Nearby Queen Square is Snappie's tomato pizza. Yeah. Is that his name? Full name.

Snappies tomato pizza. It's countrywide. Unlike mayonnaise pizza. I know it's country wide. I just didn't know what it was called Tom. Snappy's tomato pizza. That's what it's called, yeah.

They should have called it Snappy's Square Pizza because the big... We talked about it on the podcast before. I was going to say, I'm getting deja vu here. I've been to this place before. Dave Javu, yeah. I've become a big fan of that since moving here. I used to get a Chinese quite regularly.

It was a good Chinese that one. It was a good Chinese other week. It was so fucking good. Black bean and tofu. See, I really go, I go very basic bitch with my Chinese. Because I know what I like. I get the chicken balls. I get...

Chips. Chips with gravy. Is it normal gravy or Chinese gravy? Is Chinese gravy, like, faintly... I just like Chinese sauce. No, it's just... It's just gravy. So, so far you're describing KFC.

Yeah, yeah. So that and then like a chicken fried rice and that would normally do me. But KFC is my absolute phase. So there's nothing remotely Chinese in your Chinese order. I just like the way they do their balls. Oh, there's chickly china, the Chinese chicken, I think. Yeah, you're brain...

And it stopped sticking. Fingers start licking. Yeah. It was good there that place. It was really good. And the chicken balls were enormous. Oh, huge balls. They also did there those chips that come with the red stuff on them.

Oh, pepper chips. Like pepper. It's like, it's not just, it's not like table pepper. It's like, oh, exotic, exciting pepper. Oh, I think it was called Kylan. If you live in Gateshead in the Gateshead area, Newcastle, you might be able to order from K-Y-L-N. It was really good.

To be fair, as much as we've raved about the chicken balls, sometimes they were a bit kind of clammy. Oh, okay. Clammy ball. But sometimes not. I can't remember having clammy ball issues. That's why I use talcum powder. I wouldn't recommend eating that.

I mean, no, you would have had. It's carcinogenic talcum powder. American one is, yeah. God, everyone's going to die. It gets delivered by a furious man. That's true. Who sometimes just tells you to come outside and stays in his car and passes it out the window.

Yeah. This is weird. That's not the worst thing. I've done that. That's quite how I usually get my. I don't like them to go to any extra effort. I come down to them all the time. But you've paid to have it delivered to the door.

Yeah, I've had it to pay to come to me. I'm going to make the final effort. I'm not going to make them come up my flat. No, I don't think they have to come up to your flat, but I think getting out of the car is at least a token effort. You're devaluing your delivery charge by walking to the car. And that's fine. The thing that I, I mean, sorry to be a basic bitch about it,

but when I used to have actual money, I would get Domino's like semi-regularly with my loving partner. Domino's is good. If two people go in together, you can get, you can get to like over 40 quid and then get 50% off and so you're only spending 20 quid, which is almost reasonable. Yeah, sure, so, so reasonable.

And then the diarrhea the next day just makes it all worthwhile. Yeah, well, I mean, if it comes with, it should come with like free diuretics, diuretics, diabetics. Dianetics. Delivered by a diabetic and you get some free wet wipes. Oral rehydration therapy, yeah. Oh my God. That would be good.

Yeah, that's a real issue Domino's has, isn't it? It's like, mm, delicious. And now here comes my intent. See, I rarely eat dominoes. When I have, I've pooped fine. I feel like I need to eat some dominoes now to test this. It might be the meat on it, to be fair. I would say... It might be the greasy meat. Again, with the clammy chicken balls, I think it's inconsistent.

I think sometimes, I think maybe even more often than 50% I've been fine with dominoes. But occasionally, you'll have a dominoes and the next day it's just... Do you want to do a bum piss? Because that's what... Bump piss. A bum piss. Yeah. By umline.

Are you saying your criteria for a good dominoes? is like 50% of the time you don't piss out your ass. Yeah, yeah. And that's a, that's all right. It's a worthy... More than half the time, I don't get ill. It's a roulette wheel.

And it costs me a lot of money. You do have to weigh it up. It costs loads. It's a free colonoscopy. It's pretty nice. That dip is everything. Oh, the dip is unbelievable. God.

So many calories. It's quite distilled. It's mostly sugar, I think. Probably is it so good, though. I have it with other cheaper pizzas. Oh, yeah. That's the best thing to do, actually. It's just order some...

Go into a dog. ask for like a load of dips and then just get like a made-in store as the supermarket pizza. It's good. It elevates everything. Yeah. Everything. Everything. Put your Wilson in it.

Elevated. Delicious. Sorry. What are you putting your Wilson in? Butter. Garlic and Herb dip. Oh, okay. Yeah.

And then you put it straight back in your pants and you leave it for the rest of the day. Let it just become part of it. And then it's like that's a powerful, that's a powerful Wilson right now. That's an aphrodisiac right there. Imagine the smell. It makes you aphrodisi. That's for sure. At the end of the day, taking your.

pants off after it's been coated in domino's buttery goodness garlic and herb dip can you say yeast infection kids um delicious would you like another question yeah go for it this one is also food related but hopefully slightly less disgusting disgusting we'll make it disgusting this is michael kerwin at infinite skittles on twitter what's the best cereal Oh, see, I really like Cornflakes I didn't realize I think

I was heard on a podcast or something the other day Conflicts were originally invented to like Yeah like toned down hysteria And madness and people No, it was to lower people

It was in worst games ever Was it? Yeah Oh It's to stop boys Munking off Sorry, that's a horrible phrase I've never heard that term

In my entire life Yeah What's that? Munking Mastubating Right, thank you Mr. Kellogg, and that's not even a joke, like his, the actual Mr. Kellogg.

Was he friends with Colonel Sanders? Yeah, Colonel Kellogg. That he was a big fan of people not masturbating. Right. Because I think he was like a very, he was like Puritan or something. Oh, some bullshit. Yes, and I don't really understand the logic.

I think he thought that if you had a nutritious, well-fed mind, then you wouldn't feel the need to flagellate yourself. Because I heard it was something about like spice and stuff like, that was bad for the would like entice your brain into bad things so i think as plain as possible would help distract the mind from such weird endeavors which worst games is this because i had this somewhere else it was um was this uh it may have been dick night yeah yeah yeah i think i was listened to the super mega podcast last night while i was going to sleep and it came up i mean it's classic podcast material it is yeah um if we've not already talked about it on on worse games ever i

may have even brought it to weird capetia one day. Part of the initiation of having a podcast. Cut from the same cloth as Jerusalem syndrome, isn't it? Also, I feel like I should say fruit loops as well. I like fruit loops. Fruit loops. Fruit loops and complex? Together.

Yeah. Oh, together at last. I don't really eat cereal, so I would probably just have a bowl full of marshmallows without milk on it and just eat those. That sounds good. Yeah. That is a hearty breakfast.

Or infinite skittles in a bowl. Oh, God. You'd be so sick. Yeah, you would. How many infinite skittles could you eat before getting sick? because I feel like a packet of skittles kind of like my barrier for like, I've had enough now. I could eat most, if not all, of one of those share bags.

Fuck. They're just getting very sickly. Oh yeah, it is just sugar. And then at the end, you're like, oh, my, what did I just do? What's my hard doing? Your mouth becomes syrup. You just have a film. Spit syrup.

What were you doing when you felt the palpitations? I ate three quarters of a bag of skittles. And I didn't stop. And had an existential crisis. Stoppice. I had a lot of serious. when I was growing up, but it was very, very rarely.

Why, why, what's the problem you got with that? It's a bit of a weird thing to say. It was like, I had a lot of cereal when I was growing up. And, you know, I've travelled up and down the case. I used to eat breakfast when I was a boy. I used to fucking love cocoa pops. They were like my supper thing. Before I got to bed, I had a ball of cocoa pops.

Right. We were running in the cocoa jungle race and croc was using steroids. Oh, yeah. That's right. Remember that one? Yeah. Ben, continue.

Thank you. Now he's on that Russian Association of Russian Athletes team instead of Russia. He's not allowed to compete anymore.

Crock. Right. Anyway, continue. Fucking hell. Croc was on Crocad Eel. Jesus Christ. The reason I said that in such a weird way

is because Peter just came from saying that he doesn't eat cereal, which is why I was saying. It doesn't matter. Ridicule me if you must and then just go off on the weirdest

fucking tangent I've ever heard. Dope scandals in the Cocoa Pops jungle race. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I bet if there's any jungle animal animal that would use performance enhancing drugs, it'd be the cheater. Oh, that was worth it, actually. That was worth it. Ben, please. That was a genuine bit of anger from Ben. He's genuinely clenching his fists.

I wish Dave was here. We stopped punching your fists. Punch him in his face. Not me. Yeah, we never had treaty cereal. The treaty of Versailles. Oh my fucking God What are you doing? Oh my God

We only ever had quite boring cereals Oh really? Yeah Oh really? Yes Like brand flakes I like bran flakes I ate wheatabics for a long time

When I moved out I just ate wheatabics every day That was boring But I do love sugar puffs Oh they're my mom's favourite Oh they're not called sugar puffs anymore They're called like honey monsters Honey puffs

Oh is it the pub Is that the problem? No it's the sugar bit is the problem Oh right Sugar Daddy Puffed rice goods No no

It's not the puff bit That's the bad You didn't listen To a word I said It's the sugar bit Okay so sugar mother No Honey puffs

Yes I don't know what they called Now They're not called sugar puffs I'm so fucking sick Of this podcast This is the worst It's ever been

It's really bad I'm trying my hardest I blame the tang Do you remember that Wheatabix Probably not Spinoff Was it just in Yorkshire

Yeah it may have been where the advert was a really, really, really long lorry pulls up to this layby where there's a couple who've just like stopped their car and along the lorry it says not made from wheat

made from oats instead of bix and the guy goes what's that then and the driver goes oh it's a new cereal from wheatabix and then his wife goes they should have called it otobics

I do remember the advert was the reaction about the same as that one yeah it was Everyone just went. Well, I kind of went off on the wrong... The anecdote was going to be... Yes, please explain the anecdote. Well, I ended up having to just describe the whole advert, which wasn't relevant.

But the anecdote, this is... Just wait for this. Fuck sick. I'm just going to check my emails. I go for it. I remember the lorry pulling up with Not Made from Wheat from Outs instead of Bix written on it. And I remember being about like 10 years old and being like... I don't know why I thought this, but I was like, I bet the man is going to say,

What's that then? He did. And I was like, no way. Okay. What's that then? What's that then? I was like, I bet that guy says, what's that then? And he goes, what's that then?

I was like, no way. I'm a psychic. Anyway, that's my anecdote about. What is that the poster that was on your wall as a child? Yeah, it was a still from the Outabix advert. Your dad made it for you when he heard you crying in the living room. Yeah. Because you were so fucking excited about this goddamn Otabix advert.

What's that then? I knew he was gonna say it and he said it. Just knew. I knew it. I don't really know how to continue this podcast. Well, it's an thing now. It's 20 minutes. Yeah, I think that's good enough. Yeah, it's only a third of the way through this.

Right. Well, I'm just going to kick off my thing, all right? Yeah. Then you can just be quiet, I guess. for the rest of it, you can go to sleep. I'll just carry on reading my emails. Yeah, please do. I'm just pretending I have way more emails. You just reminisce about all the adverts.

Reddit forward slash not the onion. I forgot about this. There's a website called The Onion. They do satirical news stories that aren't real, and they're kind of ridiculous. And there's a subreddit called Not the Onion, where it's real news stories that sound like they should be on the onion

because they're so ridiculous. Big news. Exactly. I've got three here, which ones are real, and which ones are from the actual onion. Okay, got three for you. Here are the headlines. Paranormal Investigator fires gun at alleged ghost inside home. True.

I do want to say that's true. That's in America. That feels believable. I'll keep going, and then we'll circle back. Yeah, okay. Men fear social shame of ordering vegetarian dishes, study finds. Oh, 100%. That's got to be true.

That could be real. But it also sounds a bit onion-ish. I feel like, I want to say that's true. Yeah. Coco Pop's drops approved by mum's slogan after complaints from fathers. Oh no. That could be true as well.

Fuck. Oh. But which is real and which is pretened. Maybe they're all real. Paranormal investigator, fires gun, had alleged ghost inside her. That's the most fun one. That's absolutely true. that must have happened

Yeah, I'm going to say true That is a true story Yeah That is a true story So I like how he believed in ghosts But didn't believe That they were bulletproof No

He goes as far as to think There's a dead man in my house But if I fire a gun at him He will die The man apparently is currently on bail Oh, he got arrested for it He did, yeah, for discharging his firearm In other people's homes

Discharging in a home And then Was not available for comment He did not make himself available for comments. I know he's crying on bail, which is strange. You would have thought

that he would have all the reasons in the world for what he did. Almost like it's bullshit. Men fear social shame of ordering vegetarian dishes. This feels too boring to be onion.

Yeah, I think the wording of it is I think if it was the onion or something like it. Yeah, it would. I think the joke is there but it's badly written so it must be true. So it's click hole then.

I guess so, yeah. But, you know, the onion would say like, you know, man grips penis area man as he orders a vegetarian meal

or something stupid like that you know yeah local man squeezes wife's hand way too hard while ordering vegetarian yeah exactly yeah I think I'm going to say true

I think true that is true that's a true one finally then Coco Pop's drops approved by mum's slogan after complaints from fathers so the thing is

there could be there could be no false ones in here. Yeah, I think it might be a trick and I think this is also true because you know, there'll have been like particularly single fathers who have been buying cocoa pops for their kids and

seeing approved by moms on there. They might think, hey, come on, when's International Men's Day? I'm going to go false. Or onion, sorry. Okay. The news comes after campaign group Justice for Fathers staged a protest and a branch of ASDA

in Peterborough over what they described as serial discrimination, but spout like actual cereal, not as in several repeat offenses of discrimination, against dads on packaging. Were they dressed as Batman, like when they climbed Buckingham Palace? Coco Pop's has changed. It's approved by Mum's slogan after fathers complained it was sexist. Kellogg's, which makes Cocoa Pops, said it would swap the word Mums to parents instead in order to be more inclusive of fathers.

But that doesn't include the family budgie. I'm sorry? Or carers. Improved recipe, loved by kids, approved by mums, is where it went. So that's why parents go to Iceland, I assume. I was going to be coming soon. Oh, yeah, that's why parents. That's why people, human beings with money, go to Iceland.

So they, yes, that's why people go to Iceland. Well, I think fathers for justice should change their name to parents for justice. Yeah, that's very true. What if mums want justice too? So there you go. There's the new box. They have actually changed it. There he is. Coco. It says parents for, parents for, oh sorry, parents for justice. No. It says love by kids, parents for justice. It does say love by kids approved by parents. So yes. And then it just goes on to talk about how much sugar they've cut out of the cereal. Love twice kids.

Hated by grownups. Father of three, Matt O'Connor said, My son, Archie is a fan of Cocoa Pops, but we were horrified when we brought a pack. Horrified. Horrified. Absolutely horrified. When we brought a pack recently Only to see it said it was approved by mums Why have fathers like me excluded from brands like this

This is serial discrimination by Kellogg's Who have dumped dads Now we're gonna dump Cocoa Pops It's like an ultimate arm It's like fucking hell man Just don't read the box That's not that deep This father free cereal sends a sexist, dangerous

and fatherphobic message That father phobia Dad's Wasn't that a TV show Fatherophobia He just lived He was just a very scared priest too live. Father phobia.

That's when you're scared of things that are far away, father phobia. Yeah, father pho, farther away phobia. That dads are irrelevant in the lives of their children. Now, to play devil's advocate, yes, of course, that is an absurd and ridiculous thing to get upset about, but at the same time, I kind of get it. Yeah, I mean, I sort of see...

It is a quality, isn't it? You may as well make everything gender neutral. I agree with that. But it is... Horrifying. I'm horrified. That's so stupid. Daddy, daddy, daddy, why have you bought mummy cereal? Yeah, Yorkies only says only for small boys. Why are all the men buying it?

It's very easy to be, you know, maybe slightly, well, not ridicule, but, you know, to go, oh, that's a bit silly when it's like the male being victimised. But it's a lot of these things, you kind of think, like, well, if it's flipped the way around, and it was, or if it always said, approved, like, some, some, stereotypically, like some car grease or something, approved by dads. It's like male suicide rates are the highest because Cocoa Pop's package. Because they were all so horrified. Oh my God.

No. Yeah, but I get it. Yes, it's a ridiculous, silly, stupid thing to get upset. To be horrified. Yeah. But at the same time, you know, whatever. Yeah. Let's just approve by parents.

That's fair. That's a fair thing. Great. Anyway, that was my thing. They were all totally real. Browie. Every single one. Men are scared of buying vegetarian dishes, apparently.

Yeah. Apparently that's something. That's also a UK story, too, that one. I'm horrified. Every time I have to buy. food it's just like a woman michael i'm not eating meat nothing died for this meal a big sissy blouse boy yeah that's me with ribbons in your hair ordering your your mushroom your delicious looking mushroom fuck you you make me horrified i'm gonna go and order a meat feast pizza and then have

sex with a woman which i can't do as a woman no not allowed i can not have sex with a woman absolutely illegal. Defies God. Question? Yes, please. I've closed down my phone but I've opened it up again so I don't know. David L at Dalek platypus asks. Why are trains?

Why are trains? Why are trains? There we go. I wasn't speaking to my microphone. Why are trains? You appear to have dropped a verb in on the way to your desk there. Can it help you at all? Why are trains? Why are trains? Why are trains?

Why are trains? Excuse, hello? Why are trains? Are you choking? I've got one. Why are trains so fucking expensive that you can't go fucking anywhere in this country without spending like a hundred pound? But you couldn't get a return flight to fucking Abu Dhabi.

Yeah, Abu Dhabi. You can get a return flight to a booby. Yeah. For the price of York to Bristol. Yeah. I mean, genuinely, yeah, legitimately. It's pretty fucked up. I want to go across the country lengthwise, not height wise, widthwise even. Yeah.

If I want to go east, it costs me like £100 just to get from one side of the country to the other. Fuck. Bristol. That's 15 pounds of petrol, that. Petrel. Bristol to London on a megabus is about 7 quid. Yeah. It's insane.

And then a train ticket can be like upwards of 60 quid. I hate it. It feels a bit like when you run out of ink on your printer and you're like, do I go and buy, new ink, or should just buy a new printer? Because it comes free with ink, yeah. It's not very green, it's not very environmentally friendly to just throw away a printer every time it runs out of ink, but

it's cheap. It makes it financially viable. Yeah, fuck the world. So that's why, trains. Yeah, let's build some more high speed links so we can go up and down faster. Is it going to be cheaper though? Because no one's going to fucking ride it if it isn't cost effective.

Okay. I hate it. You done? It doesn't make sense. Use public transport. I can't. I can't afford it. I've got to use my car and pollute the environment. Yeah, Ben, get off the roads. We're going to tax your car because it's not electric, but you should be using trains and stuff. There's no trains that go where I want to go. Use trains, Ben. We're the government. We're going to charge you. You can use a train, then five buses. You can get anywhere. I don't want to. I just want to go across the country. Doesn't mean I have to go into London and go on five tube stops in order to come out the other side of it. I just want to go across. I don't understand. No, go on a plane You know what, I fucking will

I can fly to Ireland and back for 30 pounds 30 euros That's the thing, I can When I was based down here My girlfriend is up in Newcastle A return flight to Newcastle Is 70 pounds A one-way train up there

Is like 150 pounds And it takes like five, six hours Yeah It's like I'm going to take the obvious answer here How is it possible to fly a plane for less the cost to put a train up the country It doesn't

I don't understand A train right over your country Oh Jesus Yeah That's why trains That's why trains That was exactly the same for me When I'm going to go and see

my girlfriend on the other side of the country It costs me a fucking fortune And I don't get it It doesn't have to Are they not making enough money Theresa sort it We should nationalise all of it Who is Secretary of Transport right now?

I don't know Some idiot Jeremy Hunt because everything he does turns to shit fuck you Jeremy Hunt surely there must be making the money back on Kit Kat Chunkies though on a train it costs like 180 for a Kikat Chunky The Kit Kat Chunky Gate

I was on the train down today and they came on the Tanoi and they were like Oh we're coming around with a selection of Hot drinks, Cold drinks snacks snacks Snacks Yeah Are you off the trolley dears

Well take the lot Which said we also have some sandwiches Which you can put into a meal deal If you get a snack and a drink She's like for just five pounds Fuck, that's not a deal. Fuck that. It's not a deal.

We're doing a special meal rip-off today. An absolute meal for our price gouge. I think Tesco's kind of ruined meal deals for everyone else, though. They've got it down to a science for three pound. Well, exactly. You can get a drink that costs two pound in there as well. Yeah, get that fucking innocent smoothie. Or you can hop on cross-country rail and get a five-pound meal daylight robbery.

What are paying 80 quid for the train ticket? What am I paying for? pounds to sit on this this fucking girder that's got a bit of fabric over the front of it that's folded me up like a piece of origami and we're sitting because there's another bovine incursion at the next junction that's even if you get to sit sit down most of the time you have to stand next to the stinky toilets and just watch the worlds go past and people go in and out and you think that person's a little less full of shit than they were when they went in and that's something that i now know don't you have a fun story about tree and doors yeah we

went to insomnia and did we talk about this? No, because the podcast that we pre-recorded it, didn't we? Oh, that's right, yeah. We haven't had a chance, but it's way late now. It's almost a month later. I went to go to the toilet on the train and there were people stood all around the toilet, just

sort of stood up because it was a busy carriage. And it was one of those automatic ones where the doors sort of slide open and close and it's got lights next to it, that tell you if it's locked or occupied and it was apparently free. I pressed the open button, it slid open, and there was a small child, with her mother using the toilet.

And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. She was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Just pressing the button. I thought it was locked. She said, I thought it was locked. So then I just stood there on my phone thinking, why the fuck didn't any of you bastards tell me there was a child in there or just a person?

They were all standing around and knew. So then I just sort of, I thought, do I need the toilet anymore? Because I have had the poo scared right back up inside me. I don't want to see them coming out. I don't want to interact with this person anymore, but I decided to just look at my phone and then just keep looking at my phone

until they walked away and then I went straight in there. Nice. Fucking trains. You were lucky to find a train toilet that worked, really. That's true. A lot of trains, the moment they install them, they just shit comes out of them somehow. And then they just remain completely out of order

for the rest of the train's life. A arch piece. A diarrie a diorama, yeah. Oh, yeah. Excellent. Fuck trains. Fuck trains. Fuck him. I mean, I've had a scheduled, not scheduled.

I've had a tweet that saved in my drafts for like two years now, or maybe slightly less, that just says, I hate trains. And it's just been in my drafts for that whole time. You should tweet it the day this podcast goes out. Oh, forget. Everyone will like it and retweet it. Oh my God, he said the tweet. He did the tweet, yeah.

I like trains as a concept. I like trains as a concept. They're beautiful. But just in action, they're awful. It's the money bit. It is. It's the financial last thing. I'm fine with not being able to shit or stand for a bit.

the fact I'm paying so much money to do so. I'm okay with sharing a space with someone who doesn't know what personal space is. Like, I'm okay with that for a little while. I'm all right. I'm okay with not being able to eat the lunch I brought with me out of social awkwardness because an old lady is like reading her book next to me. Yeah. I'm okay

with that. It's having to pay for the privilege. The privilege. The privilege of sitting next to someone who's not socially awkward and gets out their fucking chicken teaker and garlic and shit sats out of her. She's going to fucking desk fan and she's just wafting it around

the carriage. Was it on the train to insomnia? There's some kids playing with beer cans as well. Not knocking them over for the entire train ride. Empty beer cans. It's a transport system for wankers. That's what it is. Hashtag. Transport system for wanker.

Oh God. Wow, that was a very long answer. So, what was the David L? I hope you wire trains. Why are trains? Exactly. It's a mystery to us as well. I hope that cleared that up at least a little bit. How long have we been going for now? 36 minutes.

That's fine. One more question, and then you want to do your thing, Peter? Sure, yeah. Okay, next question. Have you guys, or girls, learned obvious things that the majority of people know that blew your minds when you found out? I didn't know Michael Jackson had a son called Blanket. Did you not?

Until when? Like, it was last month, I think. Oh, wow. I was talking about, oh, Michael Jackson has kids. And everyone was like, yeah, the baby you dangled over a bank with me. I didn't realize that was his kid. I was just a random baby. Someone else's baby.

Yeah. He endangered. Do they moonwalk? I hope it's a blanket moonwalking. Blanky. Blanket. Weird. Yeah, I think, there's probably a lot more of it.

Like, I'm very oblivious to things. I just take everything at face value and don't question it. And it's like years later, I think about it. Oh, that's why it's da-da-da-da-da. That's why it's da-da-da. But I can't think it may have thrope my head. I used to make a couple of mistakes. But it was when I was much younger.

I don't make mistakes anymore. No, no. I'm over that. I've learned from the more. And I have no more mistakes to make. I've completed mistakes, basically is what I'm saying. 100% at the end plan. But nobody told me that you couldn't put metal in the microwave.

Didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Learned that the hard way. Sparks. Yeah, got the purple sparks. Yeah. Put the butter in the in the microwave to try and warm it up. Oh, nice.

So I could actually fucking say, why are butter? Can we do that one next? Why are butter? Where's the metal here? What's happening? It's the container, the little, you know. Oh, like a foil thing. Yeah, yeah.

And it's sort of sort of sparking, and I learned that. I also once wanted some warm milk, and I put it in the kettle. And I boiled the milk in the kit, because I was like, I want hot milk. How do I do that? Well, that's how you boil water. Oh, that would stink. So I put milk in it, and I boiled it, and I did ruin that kettle. I did.

But I was a young child, and I learned. That's okay. Did you get, like, curds in your castle or something? I honestly can't remember any more than that. But I thought that was how you made warm milk. To be fair, it's logical. It was a couple of maybe a month or so ago I accidentally put some soup

with like a metal pot lid on top of it in my microwave to kind of heat it up Oh God And in addition to, I was sat in my room thinking The soup's popping quite a lot Oh no And I sat there for like a minute and a half and I was Oh, there's metal in there

And that was far Nothing bad happened, there's no fires I'd be terrified to go near it at that point I also forgot that the pot Handel kind of thing was plastics That was melting as well I opened it. This is the most obnoxious smell.

Burned my hand, like, panicking, trying to get it out. And that was the saddest soup I ever had. You still ate the soup? Oh, yeah, I still had it. It was fine. I checked it. It looked fine. I'm still here.

Yes, you are. You've eaten worse. Yeah, I have. Exactly. It's my mission in life to eat everything I shouldn't possibly eat. You ate a fake poo today in the... I did, yeah. Some tat that we did.

I didn't eat it. I just put in my mouth. It's different. You tried to. You said you want to see what's inside it. Yeah, yeah. And you would have bitten into it. I've got one, it's really weird and specific and it's going to take a link dump and you two might have to Google it.

You know the roadside hazard sign for, we've recently resurfaced this road and there are going to be little bits of grit flying everywhere. Yeah. Well, the car in that is slightly out of frame and I used to just see it completely differently. and I thought that it was like some sort of really strange tool that the workman had been using and it was like some sort of hammer thing if you just try and picture that

that object as not a car imagine there's all the stuff that's out of frame is not out of frame and we're gonna have to I'm gonna have to pull this up I'm Googling resurface road sign yeah I'm not I'm not finding oh oh I know yeah

I see, yeah, but it's here. But for some reason, Google's taking me halfway down the page. I have another one for you that's just like that. That's the one, yeah. It does kind of look like a hammer. So the stripes of the kind of the bumper of the car, I thought, were like the handle going out like horizontally. Yeah, it's like a pickaxe. And I used to see that.

I think it's because I first saw that sign when I was very, very young. And I just misinterpreted it. And then since then I couldn't unsee it until very, very recently. I was like, fucking hell, that's just a car with some little bits. grit coming out. Do you want me to ruin something for you as well? Yeah. You know the motorway sign in general that's like it's two big roads with like a bridge over

the top of it? That thing. Yeah. You see that? Everybody knows what that is. You know what I thought that was for the longest time as a kid. Or at least I knew it wasn't that, but that's all I could see. Like a man lying down.

No. Lego legs. Let's see. Lego legs. Legs. Oh my God. It does actually it's got the torso on to the top as well. Yeah.

Well, yeah. It was like a torso, like a man. lying down, yeah. Yeah. Is it also, it's in the shape of an A. It's a bit of an A. A roads. Yeah.

Oh, is that? Oh, my God. I don't think it does. No, it's just meant to be the overpass. It's not just a sign for a motorway. It's the sign for like bridge over the motorway. A bridge. We're really good fun talking about road signs.

Talking about road signs. That's the only one I could think of. I don't profess to be a man who's never confused one thing for another or had his mind blow. I'm confused on a near daily basis. I just can't think of anything right now. So, I don't know. Maybe it'll come to me before the end of the podcast. But yeah,

I used to think it was some kind of hammer or something. Okay. How about that? How about that? I hope I can think of some more. Because I genuinely, I learn new things every day. Every day is a learning experience. Every day when you're walking down the street, the street, the street, das.

Peter. Yes. Is it time? It's time for a foray. Into. Into the weird pedia. I'm sorry? Welcome.

To weird pedia. Disease. Diseases. We've done a couple of these. We did Jerusalem and Paris Syndrome. Oh, yeah. We did foreign objects in bodies. The most foreign objects.

Speaking of foreign objects invading bodies, I got an email from a nurse. And not an email, a text. An urs. An email from a nurse. I got an official email from an at-NHS. She said, in terms of things being left inside patients in UK hospitals,

we have someone whose main job is to count everything that goes in and out of the patient. And you have trays with separate compartments for sponges and stuff, and they all have to go back in. So every little thing is accounted for. It should be. It's fairly unlikely for something to drop in, at least a surgical instrument. It's all get a bit of flump or something in there from the surgeon's lunch.

Everybody's crushing those flumps in the NHS. They hand them out every day when you walk in. Here's your flump. Have you got a flump? There's your flump. I need a flump spat. I had a flump. Yes.

Until I cut open this cadaver. Shit. Dr. Austin needs his flump. Get the flump. Oh, there's no flumps in the flump compartment. Oh, no. They flumped it. I guess if it was in a cadaver, that wouldn't be as bad.

Just don't eat it. Well, maybe he died because the flump went in. Oh, yeah. It started as a body. My flump is in the body. I mean cadaver. No, shit. The fuck.

We flumped it. We flumped him. Yeah, I shadowed. I did some work experience with the surgeon. Oh, yeah. There was someone who did just count stuff in and out. Nice. Yeah.

It's weird to think that you even have to do that. But obviously, I'm glad that they do. It's just a lot of flumps otherwise, right? I wonder how many times I left something in there before like, right, Dave, we're putting you on counting duty. It's your job now. We're missing an operating table. Where is it?

Oh, God. Anyway. Yes. We're d'apetia. I hope neither of you are coming down with a severe case of puppy pregnancy syndrome. I'm sorry? I want this. I want it more than anything.

I'm sorry? Now this is what they call a culture, I think culture-bound condition. I think it's called that. It's culture-bound disorder. Which is basically a disorder that only occurs in certain parts of the world or within certain cultures. groups of people. Now, I am not here to ridicule a certain nation for believing that this happens.

You definitely are, though. Yeah, I mean, I hate everyone who's outside of the England. Yes. No, but I mean, it's just interesting that this occurs in the minds of people. It's not about being mean to people, but this happens. Sometimes people deserve to be bullied.

It's the right thing to do. Let's sit and bully people from India. This disorder is based in. Hopi pregnancy syndrome is a psychosomatic illness in humans brought on by mass hysteria. The symptom is thought to be localized to villages in several states of India, including West Bengal, Assam, Bihar.

I shouldn't have started this list, should I? Jarkhand, Arisa, and Chattisgar, I think. You're fucking racist. And has been reported by tens of thousands of individuals. Basically, what happens is people shortly after being bitten by a dog believe that puppies are conceived within their abdomen Wow what

It's not like having kittens but having puppies instead This is said to be especially likely If the dog is sexually excited at the time of the attack Oh, he's got a bit of a red rocket Oh god How do you pay attention to that stuff? Yeah I'd be looking at the teeth Yeah I wouldn't be paying any attention to that

I don't know well if you're aware that aroused dogs or have a higher likelihood of impregnating you with puppies. I think if one comes running at you, you're going to be looking at the dick, thinking, can I get impregnated? So there was one bullshit artist who started it, and then everyone was like, look for the dick, look at the dick. Everybody look at the dick.

Now, it's not just, oh, I've been bitten, I think I've got puppies in me now. Yeah. What happens is victims are said to bark like dogs. Oh shit. And have reported being able to see the puppies inside them when looking at water or hidden growling in. inside their abdomen.

Okay. Oh my god, this is amazing. I don't want this now, but it's amazing. Yeah, well, you don't. It's believed that the victims will eventually die, especially men who will give birth to the puppies through their penis. Ah! Good. That would scare me.

That's how it works. And basically, what you should do, if you get bitten by a dog, especially in India, is go and make sure you are taking some anti-rabees medication. Is that what it is? Is that what it is? Is it rabies? Well, no. Not strictly true. I mean, yeah, rabies is like

affects your mental state, obviously, and maybe there is some correlation. But either way, unfortunately people don't tend to go to get rabies medication if they believe that they have this. Instead, they go to the witch doctor. Oh, good.

Who will offer an oral cure. Which one? An oral cure. No, no, witch doctor. Oh. Witch doctor. Yeah, which. The doctor.

The witch doctor. Oh. Never mind. It. Cool, thanks. No, it's fine. I took enough of your time, please do continue.

Which they... Go ahead. Let's finish. Which doctors offer oral cures, which they claim will dissolve the puppies, allowing them to... Sorry. They claim will what?

A puppy abortion. It's an abortion. It will dissolve the puppies. Yeah. I mean, actually, an abortion doesn't dissolve. No, I don't think it does. No, that's not how that works is. Anyway, which doctors offer a...

oral cures which they claim will dissolve the puppies allowing them to pass through the digestive system and be excreted without the knowledge of the patient. So that's convenient, isn't it? Yeah, that is. You won't know. You won't know when it's worked, but it will. Some witch doctors, fucking God bless them, great guys or girls, tell people

not to seek conventional treatment because then the witch doctor treatment won't work. Wow. Wow. So people get bitten by a dog. Yeah, literally. You get bitten by a dog. You probably or maybe get rabies. And you're being told, don't go to the hospital because my treatment

won't work but if you come to me I'll give you a treatment and actually you won't even know that it's worked it's fine just take the oral cure and you'll piss out a dissolved puppy and you won't know about it yeah so that's a little quick hop skipping a jump into that's very weird the weirdest Wikipedia

that is available on Wikipedia for you to read that's part of a whole list of culture-bound diseases oh incredible Isn't that exciting? Wow, well, thank you, Peter. That was a... Hoppy abortion.

You're welcome. That was a fun, fun time. Yeah, it always is. Got a question for you. Yeah. This last one comes from Ben Dane Smith at Ben Dane Smith on Twitter. I think he's related to Luke Smith. Almost certainly.

If you were offered to be on the first manned flight to and from Mars, would you take it? Two and from, so I'm coming back. Because they are offering people a one-way ticket at the moment. if you want to just go down in history and die on Mars. Which sounds horrendous. I don't want to do that. Not the first one. I wouldn't be the first.

I'm not that into the fame and glory that I would want to do that. There's loads of fucking mental people who would do it. I've got shit to do here. I like it here. There's chicken here. You could establish Snappy's tomato pizza on Mars. Make it the hot spot. But then I could...

But I could use the one that's already here. But you could start a whole new empire. I don't want one. Where would you get the tomato from, Michael? Or is it like the Martian where you... Were you setting up a joke here? No, no. I guess they'd get like monthly shiplints.

Shipments of stuff from Earth. Monthly giblets. I'd pop along to snappy tomato pizzas. So can you load up this box full of all the ingredients I need to make your pizzas? And it's all just frozen. I think it's just a ready frozen pizza ready to go. And that's the first pizza shop in space.

So the Dalai Lama goes into a pizza shop. It's twice a day. How many more times can you do this? Probably every time. No, finish it, go on. And he says, can you make me one with everything? Theoretically possible. You're laughing now at your accent.

It's the effort you put into it. I admire it. The pause as well. No, I wouldn't go even for a pizza brand. I wouldn't even go. Would you? Would you go on the first mission? No, I wouldn't.

Because you have to mind it's the first. It's not like when they've mastered it and it's like a week to get there. But I assume if they're saying, okay, normal people, it's the first trip to Mars. I assume by that point they've done the legwork. Like we've gone to Mars and back a couple of times already. I'd be scared.

Oh yeah, I'd be spooked. I would wait for there to be statistics. Like, you're more likely to die from being eaten by a shark from dying on the way to Mars. Left is a prerequisite to this question, which is you will live, nothing will go wrong and you know that. You somehow know that with your crystal ball

that you're going to get in the rocket, it's just going to go into space, go to Mars, and come back. There's not going to be even the slightest hitch. I'm going to add a hypothetical to this. Yeah. This is the only time in your life you'll ever be offered this chance. It's either now or never. If I knew for certain that I wasn't going to die

or I wasn't even going to get in a slightly scary situation where I nearly died but didn't, maybe I would go. But it would probably take, like, it takes like four years to get there or something. Oh, shit. I don't know. I'm making that up,

It's probably, I don't know how much. It is a long time, though. Yeah. You know what's my level of fear that I'm comfortable with facing? Going on a fucking BAFTA live stream. That's about my cap, okay? That was spooky. Didn't want to do that, but we did it.

Yeah. What if they live streamed the entire journey to Mars? I don't want that much attention on me. On BAFTA, well, on BAFTA, that's all my worst fears combined. I'd be scared I'd mention the Nazis again. That was, oh, God. You just did it again. Yeah, well, it's okay on Vidiots, the Vidiot's official podcast.

But that was the official Bafter. You did. You started talking live stream. You did talk about Nazis a fair amount. Hey, well, that's an anecdote I can tell my grandchildren. And you started showing off all these tattoos. You got 80s all over you. It's just weird. Yeah, when I'm watching the BAFTAs, I'll be like, I once said I like killing Nazis on an official BAFTA live stream. Yeah. An anecdote.

And then your grandkids will say, who said that? Oh, it's tiny granddad. He's crawling down between the sofa cushions. He's gone. Tiny Nazi loving granddad who won't. Stop talking about the Nazis. It's 2050. Stop talking about the war. You didn't even have a part in it.

So no, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I'm conflicted. I don't know. It depends on the time frame. Because I assume I think in my head for some reason I've got like it's a month or two to get to Mars. I've got it down to that, maybe. No, the moon is like four days.

Yeah, the moon's not too far. I think Mars might be, I feel like there's an 80 in it somewhere, but maybe it's just because it's got an 80 day year or something. How long does it take to fly to Mars? You nearly forgot the name of the planet. Is Siri going to do it for once? Okay. Check it out.

Check it out. Oh, one second. One second. That's not real. Is that what she said? Oh no, she's... Equation of motion, our result, is... It's given me...

Oh my God. I hate Siri. It's literally the worst. Mars planet is 0.467 astronomical units. That doesn't... That's not helpful. Kilometers per second, so it's 6.992 times by 10 to the power of 7 kilometers a second. Yeah.

It's literally just... I think it's giving me all the ingredients to work it out myself. Good. With the A-level physics. This is Wolfram Alpha as well. Fucking hell. Okay, Peter, would you go? Probably not.

There's nothing there. There's just some robots that are... Exactly. Did you know that... It's glory. That's what it's for. Do you need the glory that much? Just dead robots that sing happy birthdays at each other.

I wasn't going to do the birthday thing. That one, what's it called, Curiosity? Did you know that he can only go in reverse now? He's doing his best. I mean, to be fair, he's gone like years longer than they thought, so it's great. Does he sing happy birth in reverse now as well? Yeah, he just sings it backwards. Oh, that's spooky.

That would be really haunting. No one of the aliens aren't interested. And one of his arms doesn't work, I think. Oh, bless him. Slowly break him, but there's no one there to fix him. I'm really conflicting. You could be the guy. I could go and fix it.

You could be the guy. I'm conflicted because I want to prance about on Mars and jump around, jump up, jump up, jump and get it down jump jump oh i don't know can you tweet tweet us again with more details please i want to hear more about this hypothetical hypothetical situation yeah ben dain smith let us know thank you we'll hold that answer for next time yeah thank you but no we won't no i think largely no we've got we got stuff here and we don't need the because it is it's glory that's all it would be for it would be literally be for glory that's all i live for you don't need that i don't need that michael johnson went on mars the only man to die on the way to mars i think if people wouldn't

believe it anyway. Like, imagine being Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. And the other one. Yeah. Yeah, Michael Collins is his name. I was Phil Collins dead. Yeah, Michael Collins. Yeah, it's like, it's like the Beatles.

John, Paul, Ringo and Michael Collins. Yeah. George. Yeah. Yeah, people just don't, some people don't think they went. So there would always be people going, well, you know that thing you did where you went all the way to Mars? He didn't really, did you? And then you would punch them in the face.

You would. You would. You would. That was pretty funny. Yeah. Good. Good for Buzz Aldrin. Good for Buzz.

Anyway, thank you very much for those questions. We're now going to wrap up the show. Got various admony things to get through. Yeah. You're right there, Michael, keeping you up. Yeah, a little bit. I got to bed at 5am today. Oh, and whose fault is that?

Is it poddy at listeners' faults? Yeah. I had to get up like an hour and a half after that to come down to Bristol. I was debating just not sleeping. I downloaded it the cookie clicker. I'm sorry? Cookey clicker. Cookey clicker.

Because I know like once I get started on nose, I get really addicted and I can't really sleep. But it didn't work. I just ended up falling asleep. Good. I wanted to stay awake. Why? Because then I sleep well tonight

and hopefully I can just finally, after years and years, fix this god-awful sleeping schedule I've got. That's something you can sort out Sunday night. Yes, I will. Good. Okay. Let's continue.

This week on video, it's Spider-Man Prove-it finale. is out this week. We've got posts some tap. We've got worse games. We've got Peter gets hit by car. And we've got Sunday, Fundy. Sorry, what was that?

Sunday, Fundy. Sunday. Sunday? Sunday. What came before Sunday Sunday? I'll prove it finale for Spider-Man. And Poddiotis is today, obviously. Okay.

So keep an eye out for all those videos coming this week. Sorry. Sorry. No, it's... I think, prove it finale. My video's Beach headphones plugged in properly. Almost certainly. There's no chance of them not being plugged in

because Turtle Beach is an excellent sponsor of this podcast. bit.ly forward slash Vidiot's Beach. It just sounded like something else. No, I didn't. Well, people will have to check the channel and watch all the videos that come out this week, including the one where PCS is by a car.

What? But that comes out after, sorry, Prove It finale is also out of that. Including Prove It finale. No, just Prove It finale is the one. Right. And then there's a worst game. Michael's still you're on it.

Could you at least lean away from the microphone? Do you get my heavy breath in there? We're sponsored by Turtle Beach, as I said. Store.orgscast.com. new t-shirts design we say every fucking time new t-shirts coming soon if not already Jesus fucking Christ

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there's no gated content it just helps us do stuff It is the single best way to support what we do Very much appreciated Twitch.tv.TV forward slash video It's official. We're doing weekly streams now. Fuck. What the fuck?

What the fuck? At this is rules boss for any advice on rules. Tweet him, he's waiting. At Billy Ray Botris for daily sort of sad tweets about him. They are getting progressively sadder. Yeah. Oh, your pop shield just fell on it. He just fell on me.

He thinks he could have been a lot better everything. Yeah. Today he was a lot damper artifact collector. So there's all sorts of variables in there. Bit.ly forward slash vidiot's Discord. I don't think they've stopped being weird, but they're there. You can go and be weird with us. See for yourself.

They'll be weird with them. Tell your friends' videos at gmail.com if you want to email us an intro to go before one of our videos. Shit, I need to check that email. It's been like a week since I've looked at it. Sorry, everyone. I do get to it eventually.

Finally, leave us an iTunes review. Before Ben dies, please, go now, quick. Leave us an iTunes review or review slash rating on your platform of choice. It helps push us up the charts. I have a secret question. Go on, Peter. Let us know in the comments below

with hashtag a secret question whether Michael's yawn made you contagiously yawn Oh my god That's a really good one Yeah Thank you very much for watching We'll be back in a couple of weeks time

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Prove it Prove it finale Prove it Prove it finale is what I said there Slip of the tongue It's going to be good Okay We good

I can't wait Thanks for watching everybody We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye bye.