Podiots - Podiots: Episode 159 - Sweaty And Naked

Episode Date: May 31, 2025

Mikey's helping a fan choose a tattoo, Ben's getting naked, and Peter is also getting naked (and slimey) MERCH: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Follow us on Bluesky: @vidiotsofficial.bsky.social— Bluesky Join next episode's Pod Squad: http://podiots.com And check our website and store: http://vidiotsofficial.com ------------------- Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS! YouTube: https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vidiots.official TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@vidiots.official Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Bluesky: @vidiotsofficial.bsky.social — Bluesky Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/ Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax Well It's been quite the month Hasn't it since we last recorded Yeah Yeah, it has been a little bit Yeah Not for Michael Johnson

Sitting pretty Living, it moisturised Yeah, this guy over here Yeah What's been going on with you too? Employed Tower Oh, oh, oh that Oh no

Oh boys, I'm sorry, my condolences So in the unlikely event that any poddiots listeners don't know about the triple jump news, which is the channel Ben and I have been working at for six, seven years, we sadly have been made redundant over there. Various reasons we've gone into elsewhere. But you know what? It's okay. We're feeling optimistic about the future.

We've got ideas, not just ideas. We're actually making stuff already, aren't we, Ben? Yes, that's quite right. Right. So we have been, I mean, at the time of the release of this, there may actually be, I think there will be two episodes out on the brand new dedicated worst games ever channel on YouTube. We're continuing that show, supported entirely by Patreon because the algorithm and YouTube ad revenue is terrible. So if you're interested in getting episodes an entire week early and supporting the show and the work that we do, please consider going and checking it out. Just search worst games ever on YouTube. or at worst games, Inc. as in INC, on basically every social media platform going and there'll be all sorts of details there. But yeah, it's been a tumultuous month or so. We have, I'm thrilled to say, sort of landed on our feet courtesy of our incredible audience and all of the amazing support that they have given. And we're really, yeah, as Peter said, we're really

optimistic for the future. So thank you, not only for all the kind words that you've sent, but also your support too because it really has cushioned this fucking crazy situation we find ourselves in. Yeah. For sure. Yeah, I can't believe it. It's been 10 years of Worst Games Ever

and it lives on like a cockroach and a nuclear apocalypse. Yeah. But a very pretty cockroach, not your normal one. Yeah, of course, yeah, very handsome cockroach. It's almost like, it's a bit like Worst Games Ever is the disease that is being slowly spread from one venture to the next. And once it's killed them off, it finds a new host. It's like a parasite.

It has its own home. Maybe that was its goal the whole time. Yeah. Was to just set up shop on its own. It's left the larval phase, and now it's emerged into a beautiful worst games butterfly. Exactly. But regardless, it's out there and it's doing well so far. So thank you very much, all of you for your support.

We're also doing some solo things as well. Peter, you're making non-video game videos. Yeah, I've had a lot of comparisons to weird capetia or just Podiat's in general in my comment section. So you can find me at YouTube.com forward slash at That Peter Austin where I've done videos already on how the Pringle's mascot got his weird name and a time when the Pope thought that geese grew on trees and so on. So if you want to hear about weird stuff like that, the latter of which I have apparently covered on Podiat's already. So someone has told me, then you can go and find that. out more over there. And Ben, you're also doing your own solo thing, aren't you? But that is gaming related. It is. I am streaming a few days a week over on Twitch.tv.tv slash confused underscore

dude. Come tune in and watch some video games. There's also Vod's channel where you can catch up after the fact. And if you have an Amazon Prime account, then you get a free Twitch sub and maybe you could throw that my way. That would be really amazing and I appreciate it a lot. But yeah, What a fucking year to pick to end poddiots, huh? Yeah. Just two months later, this happens. But yeah, it's been challenging. I feel like at this point, as we talk to each other at the end of May,

we've sort of had time to come to terms with it and make peace with the situation. And as I said a minute ago, it's definitely been, we are buoyed or buoyed by the wonderful support of the vast majority. of you who we share in that collective audience. So thank you to all of you, sincerely, for that. Yeah, for sure. Amazing. Well, best of luck for the future, boys. Thank you.

And now for the present, the gift of Podiettes. What did you get me? I got you, Kevin! Oh. Kevin? Oh, Kevin's carrying a note. Can you see what that says, Peter, possibly about this episode and how it might sound? Oh, yeah, what does that?

I can't read this. Apparently there's been an issue with Michael's microphone and some of this has been messed with a little bit in post. I know what that means, but I guess we'll go with it, right? Yeah. Sounds good to me. Thanks, Kevin. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Pottie.

It's the official. official. Vidiot. A podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs, where everybody brings a thing. A lot to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter.

And I'm Michael. Good day, gentlemen. How have you been? How are you? And what have you been up to? Michael Johnson. I had it. embarrassing day at work the other week

in front of an important client. I say embarrassing. It went well, but... Was it Sonic? Was it Sonic the hedgehog? I feel like that would... Yeah, we had the big glue man in the office and yeah, I accidentally had my eye to hit hedgehog's t-shirt on. It was a disaster.

Oh, no. Lost the big contract. It's terrible. But we've got pigeons nesting on the roof of the office at the minute and I've become kind of like the guardian, the paint and say it to the pigeon in the office

and I looked out there's like in the kitchen there's a small window where you can look out of them see how they're doing and I noticed just next to the pigeons there was a hall in the roof

where there used to be like a great cover and the grey cover had just fallen off and now there's just a void into nothingness and all I had in my head was visions of baby pigeons falling down that hole

and they're returning and so I made mental nope I'm gonna I'm gonna pop out on the roof one day and I'm gonna I'm gonna cover that up but I'm not going to do it today because today is the day that there's a big client in the office and I don't want to embarrass myself in front of that client. So I waited until the next day thinking that the client would be gone and the meetings would be done.

The meetings were not done and I happened to time me crawling out of the small window onto the roof with just when the client walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Oh, gosh. I was on the roof, just fixed it, turned around And there we go There's like two high level people from this company And me standing there looking quite embarrassed on the roof And one of the staff members

Just turned to the client and said Oh, this is Mikey He edited that trailer for you the other month Was it? Oh yeah, that was me, nice working with you He was like, oh yeah, I live the trailer What are you doing on the roof? And I fantically explained

There's baby pigeons There's a hole I got to stop the pigeons from falling into it And then it was time for me to come out. And so I just said to them, please leave the room before I try and crawl out this window and I embarrass myself even more. And they laughed and left.

So I think I made an impression. Yeah, they'll remember you. Yes, definitely. They've come back for more work, though. So I'm putting that all down to me. Call me salesman, Mike. What did you do to fix the roof? I just put, the metal thing had fallen off.

I just grabbed it and put it back on. It was disgusting and covered in goop and feathers. but worth it for the babies. Save the babies, man. I didn't save the babies. Yes, my babies. Thank you. How are you both doing?

Yeah, all right. I've actually just been away. I've been in Ireland for a week. And the weather was unbelievably nice, especially for Ireland, which is, you know, it can be a bit wet and wild over there. I've been a few times.

But it was lovely to the point where if I hadn't continually applied sun cream, I would have burnt to a crisp. So it was really nice. I did something on my trip that maybe I might have brought along as my thing for this episode of the podcast. So I can't tell you too much about what I've been up to. But, yeah, I had a good time. Did you get a complimentary can of Rio undertuck upon arrival?

Oh, I phonely. I should have told him I was going. Although, isn't he in Canada now, Dave? I think he's back at Ireland now. I'm not sure he's a gloatropper, yeah. Oh, goodness me. I should have looked him up. He should have just known you were coming anyway.

Yeah, you should have been waiting with some drinks. I did see, actually, on the first night, so we, for the whole week we stayed in like a, just a house, like a rental Airbnb thing. But on the first night, when we arrived, we stayed in the airport hotel because it was going to be a drive to get over to where we were, and we arrived in the evening. So we stayed in the hotel. And in the morning, when I went to enjoy the continental breakfast, the tray that had all the bacon in it was just labeled rashrous, which is for. You want a couple of rashers, lads? So I did think of Dave. Bless him.

How about you, Ben? How about you, Ben, yeah. Yeah, I'm doing well, thank you. I went to Japan recently. Oh, of course. That may also form the basis of a thing that we talk about today. Oh, and hey, how was your birthday at time of release? It was my birthday this week.

I had at time of release. a good slash bad time. Excellent. Thank you. Happy birthday, Ben. Happy birthday, Ben. Thank you very much. Thank you.

I am, we're well, Peter and I, we're both officially old, old, old, old. Old, old. Old. Old. Old. Old than last year, which was already quite old. So, yeah, it's crazy that we've been doing worst games ever for nearly 10 years because I still remember conversations we had at the time where we were like, we're only 20. and like, look at all the stuff we've accomplished.

Yeah. We were ten years later, we were redundant. Yeah, we've been made redundant. We've been redundant. It's, yeah, it's crazy. But yeah, it's been a bit mad recently. And I am at the time of release, looking forward to meeting Michael Johnson for lunch.

What time does this release? But not that time of recording. You're not looking forward to it right now. No. we normally release it like I'll pencil in the release of this episode to be exactly when we're having lunch oh amazing okay cool

well I look forward to meeting you for lunch in Bristol Mikey because I'm coming down south at the weekend so lovely I bring a big birthday cake for you oh you don't need to do that and now if you don't because you've said you will I'll be very sad and I'll run

I've got to find the nearest ASDA that still has a cake on the machine oh my god the ASDA cakes so yeah it's I think things are good. I mean, it's all a bit chaotic at the moment, but everyone's support has been incredible, as we said in the cold open. So optimistic for the future. And a big thank you to everyone. Also a big thank you to people who went to poddiots.com. Donated three pounds or more and decided to join Pod Squad. Thank you for this month's episode. Michael Johnson, I believe you have the first group in front of you there. I do indeed. We begin with. Ah, your dome gash is beautiful.

Oh, awful. Rain drop joy. Donak 07. Stephen Scudas. The generous King Cool. Cool with a cake. Very cool.

Very cool. And they said, I was so sad that Pollyett is ending that I bought some minwax oil for high-quality hardwood for my heartache. I regret it, and I'm warning others not to make the same mistake.

I guess you can say I'm the last member of the teak-a-c-crew. T-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K. It's something-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K. T-KKK-K-K-K-K-K-B-K-BK-K-BK-K-BK-K-BK-K-BK. The street of T-K? Very much. Cool. Thanks king-cour for that. We look forward to your clarifying donation on next week's episode. That's not all.

We have Harry Wimmywams and the also generous Joel loves Jess. They say, please give a shout out to my fiancé. Jess, lots of love from Australia. Hope you nearly married. I probably have Australia is in a relationship with Jess. Oh, lots of love from Australia. Best wishes, Australia. Australia.

Well, we hope you're married and that's sickening and also shout out to fiancé, Jess. Shout out to Jess. Thank you, Joel. Lovely. We've also got UV-induced knob spiders. Nah, Fred, Carant, watch, and door Lord even Sadrnautovic Oh, he's even Saddam out of him.

Oh, no, man. Triple Jump is changing. That's also a donation there. Caroline, do we own a cat? And also, in the wake of TJ changing, hyphen, sad. Oh, thank you. finally in a total tonal shift we have mess on me mobs for mayday I did see that one before we started and I think it's my favourite

that's a very good one become OBGYNs periodiots oh periodiots periodiots geez that's hard to say dome gash d's nuts nice Urax von Paradis nuts J.D. Vance Inda underpants Keith

Skugwins dead Kermit the Pog chocolate eggers and Prince Beefcakes It's a great hall this week It's very good What is, did we say Dome gash last month?

Yeah, it was the bird Yeah, the old man That attacked the old man Oh yeah, the Dome gash, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, really bad. Thank you so much Podsquad.

Poddietz.com, three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of Poddietz. We have six more to go. And your support over the, well, since we made the announcement, has been greatly appreciated. But do seal yourself into a, what's the term, lock yourself in for immortality. That's none of the words we're leading up to that. We're correct. Become immortalize yourself. Yes, thank you.

That's it. By going to pottyats.com and donating three pounds or more. Which is your guys' favourites? Mess on me mobs for May Day. It's very good. I'm quite a big fan of Become OBGYNs for periodic. That's a protest. I'm also going to go for mess on my mobs for Mayday.

Well, everyone did well this episode. Yes, well done everyone. Really very good work across the board. Now, however, it is time to commence the things and I believe that Michael Johnson is still in charge of things. Oh, you're damn right. And I've learned from last episode. I have the order, all perfectly planned right in front of me. And we begin with you, Ben, and your listener submitted thing, please. Okay, dokey. This is a listener submitted thing from our Discord from Benson's J98. and the article is from people.com.

It is written by Meredith Wilshear and the title is Toddler has surprising fear of John Wilk's booth being under her bed, open parentheses, exclusive, close parentheses. Oh my God, what a headline. It's exclusive, that's my favorite bit. Oh, my God, I can't believe we've got the scoop on this.

We've got the scoop on this kid. We've got the huge scoop on this child's fear. very specific bogey man. What were you afraid of as a kid? For Lainey Lytton, it's John Wilkes Booth. Cassie Litton and her family were in Washington, D.C. for Thanksgiving when they decided to visit the Ford's Theatre Museum as part of their trip. The Tennessee native talks to people exclusively about how the seemingly harmless experience

had a lasting impact on her family. While walking around the museum, Lytton told her three-year-old daughter Lainie that they were at a historical site and needed to be responsible. Kassie then gave Lainey a brief overview of what happened at Ford's Theatre, noting that someone named John Wilkes Booth had hurt then-president, Abraham Lincoln. She's really held on to that, Cassie tells us. Although the mother of two trying to explain that it happened a long time ago, Lainey believed the threat was still present.

There's a statue downstairs in the museum, part of the theatre, she said. Is that him over there? I responded, no, that's not him. This happened a long time ago. Cassie tells us. She was already on edge, so when we went for the presentation and they were talking about Abraham Lincoln and how it all went down that day,

she just really held on to that. She was very fixated on Abraham Lincoln the whole rest of the trip, she adds. Oh, God, looking over her shoulder at all times. Just in case John Wilkes' booth shows up. When they went to the Lincoln Memorial a few days later, Lainey recognized the statue as the man that got shotted, Cassie recalls.

From that day forward, Lainey had a new fear. While Cassie says that mentions of Booth are not an everyday occurrence, she says it does tend to find its way into just our day-to-day conversations. We were at church one Sunday and the preacher was talking about how Jesus loves us. She looked at me and she said, Mommy, I love Jesus. I said, that's awesome. I'm glad you do, Cassie recalls. She said, Jesus loves us.

I said, that's right. She said, you know who we don't love? I said who? She said John Wilkes Booth. It's true. We don't love him. Yeah, it's not good. He's a bad man.

Yeah. It's not something that we tried to bring up to her, but she's aware that John Wilkes Booth was not a great guy. This article is like surprisingly long. There's still so much more to this tale. They've really pitched it perfectly, though. The tone is great. Yeah, it is good.

Cassie occasionally has to reassure Lainey that Booth is not in her room or under her bed at night. She was afraid to lie in her bed one night. I said, it's okay, you're safe, you're in your room. Nobody can bother you in your own house. She said, yeah, but what if John Wilkes' booth is under my bed? I mean, Lincoln thought no one could bother him

at the Ford's Theatre, right? And then John Wilkes' booth came in. Oh, God. God. It's destroying me this. Like, what if he's hiding? She concluded. Cassie told Lainey that Booth is not on this planet anymore

and that he existed a long time ago. However, to Lainey, a long time ago means yesterday. While that made her feel better, it didn't quell her obsession with Booth, who died in 1865. She said, what if he comes and tries to take my stuffed animals away? Cassie, and that's sort of the conclusion,

then there's a summary bit here. Cassie is enjoying sharing Lainey with the world on TikTok. The video that first mentioned Lainey's fear of booth went viral amassing 14.2 million views. The Ford's Theatre employees saw the video and gifted the family t-shirts and meant merchandise from the museum. And then it continues because it's trying to link you to another article. But would you like to see Lainey wearing an Abraham Lincoln shirt. Yeah, I would. A little bit of John Booth shirts.

No, she wouldn't wear that. That's a mortal enemy. So this is, that's Lainey there, it's just sending now. And she has writs. She's eating some snacks, some ritz crackers. She is so pleased with those rits. Which are American tucks, the easiest way to describe them. So, yeah, that is my list of mid-ed thing.

It's very good. It's great. The shirt says, vote for Abe always honest. Yeah, that's him. There's a need to know bit. here. It's a pretty haunting picture on the shirt, actually. I think that would be my sleep paralysis demon.

Is that specific picture of A. It's a bit scary, isn't he? Yeah. There's a three-point need-to-know bit at the top of this people article that just says,

a family from Tennessee visited Ford's Theatre Museum while in Washington, D.C. Cassie Litton tells people her three-year-old daughter developed in a rational fear of John Wilkes Booth. And then the toddler is often scared that the assassin who died in 1865 is hiding under her bed. And there's three, three bullet points, which are very... In summary, yeah. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures. And see for yourself

how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, Lisa 2026 X-E-90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Condition supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. All right, that was wonderful. Thank you very much, Ben. You're very welcome, Michael Johnson. Oh, all right. I'm quite nervous for this one. It's time to do my thing. I'm excited. So I've done my fair share of fights.

In the past, I love a good bust-up. We've done food fights, animal fights. Oh, I thought you meant, like, you know, throwing bricks at people and stuff, but no, carry on. Tournaments, sure. Keep that off the podcast, please. That's my alter ego. It's a secret. I don't know.

And today in the world of fights, the member, well, though this is, I don't know, making food fight important, making animals fight pretty cool. What's even cool than that? Maybe choosing a design to forever. ever be etched onto a human being's body. Oh, that's pretty cool. That does sound cool. Yeah, this is a fight with real world implications for today.

We are indeed choosing a new tattoo for long time listener, big time. I'm just going to call them out as the biggest fan. The biggest disagreement in that. There it is. Strong claim. People have got tattoos in the past. You're like runners up, but to have us choose the tattoo is just, it's a, it's a, It's insanity, to be honest, but I'm very grateful to have you here.

It's very brave. I'm very excited to see what you choose. The list is plentiful. So, you know, for such a momentous occasion, I couldn't just do a little handful of tattoo ideas. I thought, right, let's exhaust every possible opportunity or idea. And so I have 28 potential tattoo ideas for us to choose from. Yeah. So in classic tournament style, it's just going to be.

fight after fight after fight, two tattoos will enter the ring, one will left bloodied and defeated, and then they will carry on to the next round, to the next round and then to the final round where the winner will be crowned. So yes, one champion will reign above the rest. I do want to make some ground rules here? Sorry. Oh, sorry, I was going to say, should we click this link, Mikey, that you sent to us? Yes.

Are we allowed to look at this now? Oh, yes. So, yes, I have made a bracket. Okay. I'm relied on... Goodness me. I'm like, there really are a lot. I mean, 28, as a number, sounds a lot, but seeing it, that is a lot.

Some of these matchups are really hard, Mikey. I know. I try to make them as fair as possible, but, you know, like, there's always going to be, we're going to have to kill our children, basically. There's some, we're going to have to break some hearts. So, yeah, I think we've already flagged a couple of favorites we have in here, as I shared the list beforehand to make sure I got everything. And this is going to get intense.

I do want to set some grand rules. and I'm talking basically directly to Louie here rather than you too. Louis, this is not legally binding, all right? Whatever is decided here, you do not have to do, all right? No, you do. You do? No, don't listen to your naughty uncles, all right? Listen to me. I'd say it was, yes, it's legally binding, but we're not going to pursue you after the fact.

We'll just be a little bit upset. I will. You live your own life. All right, they'll be upset. He's got a gun too, I saw it. I think if maybe if you don't like the winner there's a bounty of options here to choose from we would all lovingly love a home on your skin

so yes choose wisely but what a sentence Oh god Love a home on your skin A home on your skin Oh dear So yeah just have fun And we are excited to see what you go for

Hopefully it's the one we choose whichever one that's going to be and lastly there is so there's a kind of a amount of numbers of tattoos here doesn't quite work in the traditional format where it's just first round and then they all fight in the second round

first round is all new tattoos and the second round a few new fighters will enter the ring and into the fray to them be whittled out and whittled down so all right I think boys should we have a look at what the first one is

sure breathe in deep breaths our first fighters today are the VS1 logo a classic in in video YouTube videos and beyond

it's been on merch it's been on quite a lot of videos it's quite an iconic little design it's the PS1 logo but with a V instead of a P pretty cool but you know what's cooler than that

what Mikey what is what a stack of Hannah Montana the movie the games Oh God Oh God

I mean Sips likes it Right Sips was a big fan Confirmed tweeted about it After we left Imagine Not only describing that

To a tattoo artist But also what that would possibly look like And what kind of detail Could possibly be Had Such a small tattoo Yeah

All right Boys It's sounding get down to business Which ones Which one do you prefer Vs1 logo is too cool, I think, right? Yeah, Vs1 logo would be a legitimately good tattoo. What is?

No, I'm very much on team's stack of Hannah Montana games. If you're getting a commemorative poddiet's vidy its tattoo, it has to be a little bit naf, a little bit shit, I think. Well, there's plenty more to come, and there are some absolute naf ones in there, so I admit it's playing your chances. Okay. Hamatana Games Really? Okay

My vote goes by the Vs 1 logo but congratulations Are you getting nervous yet? Stack Panamontana Games goes through to the next round Amazing Next up we have Mistabomi or

garlic and chips Some of these are kind of open to interpretation But I feel like the garlic and chips is You know it's a It's a it's a it's a Pomericane thing full of chips in white sauce.

That's not going to look suss at all. Michael Juggson's face across your entire back like Stevo. Yes. 100%. I think Mr. Blobby is a cooler tattoo. It is like a funnier tattoo. And I think other people would know who he is. It wouldn't be as difficult to explain.

Yes. He can just say, oh, it's Mr. Bloby. I like Mr. Bloby. You don't have to go down there. Right. Well, there's this video from like 2008. of an old man. Yeah, so they think that's a good choice.

I feel like I'm leaning towards Mr. Blobby, too. All those reasons you just gave are the reasons I'm picking garlic and chips. Right, okay. Oh, I don't. What you say, I'm going to go, Mr. Blobby. I'm going to go, Mr. Blobby. I'll save you having the adjugs in, in what, a four inch. I guess be the reasoned one here.

Am I the mediator? I think so. Maybe. Well, I think I know what Ben's going to choose for this next one, then. Are you sure? Because the other option's really good. Yeah, I really like the second option here. But the first option is,

Ronald Coon, would you like some of my McNuggies? Are you craving some of my money? So, thank you. It is, yes, that big booty purple boy, craving McNugis. Or Gizmo, being stole by a seagull. that's the little chihuahua tiny yes um i mean it would be an elaborate tattoo wouldn't it i guess you could get a cartoony version done but um i do think i genuinely think just as

taking out the context of what's actually happening i think the mcnuggies grimace is a better just like little icon to go on your body but yeah it does have a lot of baggage uh quite literally attached i'm leaning towards McNuggy's Grimmis, I have to say, but... Yeah, I might just go with McNuggy's Grimmis. I'm saying McNuggy's Grimmis as well. Okay. Ah, the Gizma one's a good one, but it can't resist that plump, right?

Next up, okay, we're going to slightly into more normal territory here. First one is our three illustrated characters from the Pottiot's thumbnails and everything else. So there's little kind of Terrence and Philip looking things that are using a lot of branding. and the worst games ever case This is a tough one I think these are both good I mean the characters would be more of a

I guess it depends maybe it depends on what your favourite part of vidyots has been if you're more of a pottyets kind of person then the characters make sense that's like podcast related whereas the case is you know very much just a worst games

thing I'm personally leading towards the worst games ever case, I think Yeah, I'm thinking that too Do not open, yeah Okay, yeah, I could go for that Oh, nice Okay, all right, it's stacking up Next up we have

Just Billy Ray Warris, classic, lovely And that's going up against Another blobby But this time it is the design that I created for the special art print we did a while ago a blobby being devoured by Noel I have it somewhere in this room but I really should have it up in this room shouldn't I

mine's framed at the top of my stairs oh lovely signed by the artist no less would how big would like how small could you get the blobby being eaten artwork like in a piece of quality like I feel like

it would have to be big in order to really show all the detail. So we're kind of asking them to get a very large tattoo there. That's true. I feel like it's at least like hand size pretty much, isn't it? Yeah. Or just a little Billy. I think it towards Billy, because you could even just get Billy's head, Billy's face.

I think Billy's probably the more logistically good option here. And Vivi's Grumis is. I mean, yes, logistically possible. But morally dubious. Ethically wrong. Yeah. All right. Next.

I think this is my favorite of the bunch. A love heart with Caroline written over it. Or Peter in bubble wrap from the time Peter got hit with a car. Oh my God. Me in bubble wrap tattooed on someone. With a little bubble wrap helmet. Yeah. Everything.

As soon as I saw Love Heart with Caroline over it, I love that because not only is it a reference to Pottietz, but it's also, it looks like you've got a tattoo that you regret because you're no longer with Caroline. And that's the whole story. It's like you become the divorcee. You know, you've become the man who has been submitting stuff to Pottietz all this time. I think that is one of the ones where like it is easier to just create a fake story with it for it

than go with the actual truths of like it was doing. nations that got out and my mum's called Caroline or something. Yeah. Yeah, it's got to be the Caroline with a love heart over it. Okay, agreed. Nice. I think we're about halfway through the first round.

Woo-woo, looking good. Next up is simply just the words Poddietz presents. I guess you could have fun with this by placing it somewhere on your body and use it as a title for that part of your body. Adjusted down. It could be anyway. It could be above,

could be size. could be anywhere. Or another Billy, but this time, it's the classic Ben and Peter holding Billy photo that we took, like, just before the beginning of a video where you're both holding him in the middle with your funny costumes on. Oh, God. Amazing costumes. I'm personally drawn to Pottie, it's presents, I think.

Me too. That's another good one. Yeah, fair. Agreed. At the top of your back with a colon. and it's like it's presenting most of your body, everything below. Or on your forehead, maybe. There you go, thank you. I'm reading this one, and now I think I realize this is a tattoo someone may already have out in the wild.

Two people, I think. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So a rules boss hat and telephone or a tombstone with memory cards on it. both good but rules boss hat very iconic you know yeah um to the point that people have had it tattooed already so i love the idea of uh because we've been debating doing merch for like six years on this but a tattoo with a gravestone that just says rip memory cards on it i think would

be also very hard to explain yeah it would yeah oh man well my vote goes to rules, boss. So are you voting Tombstone? I'm going to go Teamstone as well. I think I quite like that. It's just a little thing. Rip memory cards. Rip memory cards. Everyone's favorite.

It's probably a lot of people who've never even watched an episode back. You're listening to this belly and a podcast. I've watched an episode of that to begin with. That's the reason it's ripped. That's why we killed it. Next up, a little potato smiley. Or a psycho. a psycho seagull, however you want to interpret that.

I feel like a psycho seagull would be, would potentially just end up as just a tattoo of a seagull, which doesn't necessarily maintain or embody the same menace. You get, what, sorry? A little Dave Benson underneath the seagull. Yeah, if you want a seagull with a Dave Benson, that's a different tattoo. That's true, that's true. We're talking about a different thing now.

but a potato smiley is iconic vidiots and I think that would be a very nice tattoo to get yeah yeah and it's not going to win in the next round but and it falls into the the category of you know blobby or you know the kind of thing where people know what that is already you don't have to explain potty it's just yeah

I got potato smile tattooed on me for some reason just a lovely beige treat yeah I'm going potato smile Agreed Tate a smile is through This is one Well there was Yeah go on read the words

Read the words that you've written down Uncle Fatty Everyone's favourite Tubby Monkey Yeah I was debating Playing Small Monkey John Deer on here But I think he's more than me thing

Than a video saying I love small monkey John Deer And It's Uncle Fatti versus uncle fatty versus a tin of beans that says it is beans time on it brilliant uncle fatty wins over a tin of beans in the real world certainly

because he will consume them but I do love the idea of someone having a tin of beans on them with with the caption it is beans time that's what makes the difference yeah I like the it is beans time bean can yeah I'm a big fan of that I could already see that kind of take it nicely in my head

yeah another Billy variance here this time it's just his little broken guitar oh no that is like a memorial tattoo isn't it yeah I think that's quite an artistic one but if you want art

you think that you might like the next option which is the snappy's tomato pizza logo the little tomato man cruel one if you're ever in Bristol though and you have that on you you are getting a free snappies my friend yeah you probably guarantee you are not getting a free one

because Peter and I took a loving photo holding hands out the front of it for that. Oh, yeah. Vidiot's reunion thing. Put it on their Google Maps. Nothing. No reaction from that. They don't give a shit. They're just a franchise.

They don't care at all. No. That's true. Which is why I think you should get a Snappie's logo tattooed on your body. I do think it's objectively better than a broken guitar anyway. So, yeah, I'd vote for Snappy's logo. Amazing. I am so pleased how this is going.

next up okay it's two slightly normal slightly normal ones to end on a little game boy just with the Vidyat's logo on the screen I think it could be quite cute and it's quite an unrediculous option and the TV from the worst games ever intro with Vidyad's 2018 to 2025 written in it or whatever you want in it but I think yeah that's a good thing to play in it yeah I think so

it's got to be that one the CRT yeah oh yes okay cool All right, that's round one done. We're whittling them down. Now, for round two. And one of our new entrants for round two is a Bobby Baballoony balloon animal of your choice. And that's going up against a stack of Hannah Montana games. Stack of Hannah Montana games.

Oh, God. I mean, a balloon animal on its own is not very video. It's really. You have to explain. I'm trying to, you know, I try to tour the line between Overt and you're subtle and they could stand on the room. Get a tattoo of Bobby. Babylonie's face that's the real one. Get a tattoo of

the text that says hi Evelyn it's Bobby Babylonie. It's Bobby Babylonie. If you're having a party. Hey, yeah. Yeah, I'll go Hannah Montana games. Yeah, I think that's the way of those two.

Sorry, moving on. Sorry. I just getting close to the end, that one. There's that person who got a load of Marley Sarah's tattoos all over them, wasn't there? Like a couple of years ago. And I just get visions of that person. Let me see, if I can quickly find this image.

A fan? Or maybe I shouldn't be Googling. Ah, there we go. Oh, God, then worse than I remember. This is what you can look like, Louis. Oh, my God. Oh, that's bad. Yeah, okay.

It'll be better than that. Carl McCoy does his name if you want to Google his tattoos. Don't know. I'll put them in the thread, shall I? Is it safe? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, stick it in there. Next up we got Mr. Blobby against the Titan, McNuggy's Grimmis.

I mean, my vote goes to McNuggy's Grimmis, personally. I'd like to see them actually fight those two, and that would be really good. It'd be chaos. Yeah, I think McNuggy's Grimmis. So currently, the two that have got through to round three, Or a stack of Hanamontana games and McNuggy's grimace. Yes. Well, oh God, okay.

I like, I look, well, it's a bit of stat too. Of course it's going to be a bit silly. Yeah. Next up, another new entrant. Just the word, V-Oates. Yes. Yeah, no notes. In the exact, in the exact style that it was written in the video.

And that's going up against the worst games ever case. It's got to be V-O-Its. Yeah. as unfortunately for Freddie. Make it look like your tattoo artist made the same mistake as Mikey. Perfect. Beyoitz, congratulations. Next up, okay, Billy Ray Warris and a love heart with Caroline over it.

Again, it's simple, this one, isn't it? Yeah, I don't want to betray my son, but I'm going to have to. It's a love heart with Caroline, I know. Oh, man. There's a trend here. That one seems to be sailing through no matter what. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Next up, I think, yeah, this is another, a new entrance.

A good, a good fighter who I think will fight a good fight. Yeah. Meat face. And he's going up against Pottiet's Presents. That's a tough fight, but, I mean, meatface, I think we all have to admit that it was one of the first things that sprung to mind when someone said, what tattoo should I get? It's always been in the back of my mind, does I tell you on? Yeah, the sticker that we had on the store. and, yeah, the stylized meatface.

Yeah. I think he's a little icon of the channel. It just, that was that image cracked me up forever to the point where I'd used it and basically all promotional stuff we did after. Yeah. If I was snuck him in somewhere. Yeah. It has to be Meatface, which is a shame

because I think Pottieitz Presents would possibly win in other brackets if it was... Oh, it's a tough one. Yeah, Meeface is worthy of the next round. A tombstone with memory cards on it, versus a potato smiley If we vote for potato smiley it goes up against meat face

in the next round That's true The ultimate face off I mean I think that's Personally I think that's a better tattoo than the tombstone anyway But I didn't vote for the tombstone In the previous round

So Let's stick the potato smiley through I'm on board Yeah battle of the faces Let's go Another new entrance Entrant entrant, Peter's tiny red car, which was, where, what was that from?

What was that featured in? Is that a triple-dum video? Yeah, the tiny pink car. Yeah. Yeah, that's a triple-jump one. Yeah, that's a triple jump thing. We need to work out what we're going to do with that, Peter. Where's that going to live?

Oh, God. Oh, no. Still at the office. Yeah, it is. Oh, God, he gets to take it home. Does anyone want to buy it? Can we sell it on the reunion stream, maybe? It is a drive it all the way to the person who wins it.

Yeah, we had to go and pick that up from a quite old lady. She was, was she selling it or giving away for free? It was on, I think it was on gumtree. I think I paid a fiver for it. And we turned up and we were like, I don't know if we specify. We don't think we said, it's for my niece. Oh, yeah, I lied to it. No, I did.

I lied to her. I said it was for my niece. Yeah, I said, I don't have a niece. So that's a lie. yeah we thought she's not going to want to give it to us if we say we're about to take it cover it in gold spray paint and throw it around yeah throw it at each other took the roof off you know we we really uh scrap heap challenged it blinked it up yeah boy looks great now so that's very much a triple jump thing then yeah yes so i think that that's that's my bad

i think that's an instant knock out for that one then yeah beans i like the beans time one anyway, I would have voted for that. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Last up for round two, the Snappies tomato pizza logo versus the TV from Worst Games ever with Vidy's 2018 to 25 in it. I still really like the Snappies logo because it's just not fair, is it? It's just not a fair thing to vote through. I'm leading towards Vidyat's TV personally, just as a memorial tattoo. too. I think Snappy's logo is funny, but I'm voting for TV. I'm saying Snappies. Oh, God. Okay.

It is a good logo. It's a great logo. It's a banging logo. And I also think whatever happens in the next round, Tinna Beans, that says it is due to win. So that's just a, that's just for fun. All right, round three, we are one round away from the semi-final. Yeah. Okay.

Deep breaths. A stack of Hannah Montana games versus the McNuggy's Grimmis. I really want a stack of Hannah Montana games. Oh, do you? I was going to say McNughey's Grimmis. Because I just don't know how it's going to be realized. I can't. Like, giving that brief to a tattoo artist is going to be so hard.

Yeah, do you get them to do it, like, photorealistic and do, like, sort of horrible shading on it? Or do you just say, do a cartoon-y, like, clip art style thing? Well, Louie, whatever result gets picked here, please trust your tattoo artist in their vision for it. They won't do you wrong, okay? Just, yeah, have faith and how they want to do it. They've got more responsibility than we do when it comes to putting things on people's bodies forever. I'm fully in camp McNuggies. Okay.

Yeah, me too. All right. Imagine how many to take that. We've already taken it to Asda, to the cake shot. That was advised this run. Is this right? You sure? Oh, God.

Can you get your tattoo artist to do a photocopy of your phone face down and the key machine? Put the scan lines on it and everything. All right. Next up, it's V-Oates versus the love heart with Caroline on it.

Oh, man. Oh, they're both so good. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's the toughie. Oh, man. It's Caroline for me. I think it's Caroline, just because there's so much context and story and potential for funny moments when explaining it to people.

Excellent. I like Vioids. It's a good little simple, minimal one, but the mental image of Caroline is just absolutely storming ahead there. Next up is it's the face off. Meat face versus the peteo smiley. Oh, I don't, I don't, because... Like, meat face is iconic, but visually to look at, there's not much to it. And you wouldn't know it was meat if it was a tattoo.

No, you wouldn't. Yeah, if you squint, they both kind of look like one another. But I feel it's more vidiots than a potato smiley. It's certainly more poddiots, and I think even just more vidiots generally, personally. I'm leaning towards meat face. If you get the meat face, can you also get the little girl holding it up behind it? Oh, God. Yeah, I'm team Meatface here.

Yeah, I'm MeatFacing too. All right, all right. It's a tin of beans that says it is Beans Time versus the Snapys Tomato Pizza logo. Bean's time. Tinned of beans for me. The Beans time, yeah. God's will be beans. You know, we could have had in place of Peter's tiny car, which wasn't triple jump, which wasn't idiots.

We could have had the Feld Hoyer's Meatfaceery logo. Oh, yeah. Imagine getting that branded on you That'd be pretty badass Like right along the forearm, hell yeah I think it's Louis I think Louis might be the one who went to the factory Oh wow

Oh my god So that Louis or his brother But I think it might be Louis As I say You can do whatever you want But we hope we'll highly encourage you To get the one that we choose out of This is the semi-final

Fuck Mucknuggies Grimmis Versus Versus the Loveheart I think the love heart Yeah I think the love heart as well That feels right Yeah

Oh man this final is going to be brutal Yeah Meatface versus the tin of beans I mean this is pretty brutal That's true I'm team beans I'm team beans as well I think Yeah I do

Yeah I think on balance I'm also team beans I think it's a more It'll be a more interesting tattoo to look at Me face would be absolutely hilarious, but... But it just really looks like a bad smiley face, doesn't it? Yeah, there's no way to do that well, because it isn't good. All right, that we have our finalists. Oh, Jesus, this is going to be really difficult.

Yeah, I'm not happy with this. Yeah. Lovehart with Caroline, or tin of beans, that says, it is beans time. Now, Pete behind the curtain here, Mikey sent us this, the initial list. of all these before we started recording and just said there's anything else that I should add to this and when I skim read the whole list

as soon as I saw Loveheart with Caroline on I said please Mikey if you're like having to lose any from this to make space for others do not let Love Heart with Caroline go like that has to stay in the tournament so I think I've got some bias

towards it but is that because it is just the best tattoo I don't know I really like the tin of beans The tin of beans The beans is good That is patently Vidiates

Lovehart with Caroline over it Patently Poddiots Yeah So this is really a Podiots versus Vidiots finale And they both have so many upsides That we've talked about already The fact that Caroline

The Caroline one will look like a Spurned ex-lover and that's going to have to be explained away. The tin of beans is just a funny tattoo. The fact it says it is beans time just looks like a shippost. I feel like that could actually be enjoyed by a casual onlooker without any context. That's the thing. Yeah, if you saw someone with a tin of beans that says,

it is beans time, that would be funny. Whereas Caroline, you would just think, oh, they've never mentioned Caroline before. But the other thing I like about Caroline is not just that it looks like it's a tattoo of a spurned lover, but if it is the tattoo of a spurned lover, you are cosplaying as the mystery man and who has been donating.

You become the man. Caroline's ex-husband. Yeah. Yeah. So do we, I suppose it comes down to do, are we going to be kind? Hmm. Or are we going to be cruel and funny?

Are we going to be kind and funny or cruel and really funny? Because I think Caroline is the funnier of the two. But it is also less fair to Louis. Because to me, Caroline, is kind of the winner, but just for the sheer fact of having that branded on somebody's body forever, it's going to make day-to-day life just that little bit more awkward and comfortable. Especially if...

I was going to say, especially if he's not yet in a relationship. If he's seeking a heterosexual partner, well, it doesn't really matter what gender they are, But, you know, if he's dating women, and then they're like, oh, what's that? Who's Caroline? Can you get that removed, please? But whereas beans, big fan of beans. Everyone likes beans, right? But if he is in a relationship, it's just as hard.

Because he's got this. Oh, God, yeah, it's even worse. He's going to sell his partner on it first. Would it be okay if? Yeah. God. Oh, God. I, as hard as this is.

is I am leaning towards Bean's time. It does feel like, you know, anyone listening to this who feels compelled to go with the winner legally binding almost against their will, I feel like if we make them get Caroline, then that is, as you say, Ben, it's actually quite cruel long term.

So, yeah, I think Bean's time, but, you know, maybe leave it up to, you know, again, if you're on multiple, people, not just Mr. Weber wanting a tattoo from this. Perhaps if you want to sort of put your kind of pledge your allegiance to poddiots, you could go for the Caroline if you like. But, yeah, I think Bean's Time. Yeah, I think for today's game, tin of Beans that says it is Bean's Time is the winner.

Congratulations, Louie. Yes. I hope you're happy. You did this to yourself. You did. I hope it's one that you like as well. Oh, man. Yeah, that's a good, I mean, there's a good roster there, I think.

Not the best man one, but the fairest man one. In the playoffs, we would have McNuggy's Grimmis versus Meatface. Even that's a good one. That's a good one. They're on a level. Yeah. Oh, man. Wow.

Amazing. Well, we will watch and wait with bait with baited breath. To see how this goes. I'll send him to me an email and let him know that we've decided and that he'll find out on the latest poddiots and we'll keep you all posted on what he decides to do. Yeah. Amazing.

Thank you very very much, boys. And we've done real good work here today. We have. Thank you, Mike. Moving on. Do I get your listener submitted thing, please? Of course you can. I'm just, we've created.

a branching path of replies in the in the thread and I'm desperately trying to solve it are we are we posting the full uh the full bracket in completion or are we able to no no I was just I went back to just some previous images from the from the thread where we we created a choose your own adventure story so oh I see but but yeah we can maybe maybe we maybe we don't maybe we don't post the bracket just to be yeah spoilers yeah um cool so I have a listener submitted thing here. It was sent to us by James

at Corrosion Audio on Twitter. We have actually opted for a slightly different write-up just because the original one was actually quite short. So we're actually now going to the Daily Mail instead of... It's really good for it's kind of article still. It is. Yeah, they write the best

kind of trash. Oh, including the headline. I might leave the first two words to the end, because it's a pun. So the story is, husbands attempt to surprise his wife goes hilariously wrong when hotel covers their bed in

crisps, in all caps, after a romantic gesture mix-up. But they started with the words Bedi-Salted. Oh, come on. Terrible. This is written by Francine Wolfish, and the story goes.

There's not Francine. sheepish that I was worth the interruption I'm sorry there's nothing quite like the feel of

crisp hotel sheets while enjoying time away from home but one hapless husband had that taken to a

whole new level when his entire bed was covered in the crunchy snack after a romantic

gesture went spectacularly wrong Johnny Norman 35 took his wife Rachel 36 out for

her birthday in Blackpool Lancash and secretly asked hotel hotel staff to put 30 assorted bags of

crisps on the bed while they were out to surprise his crisp loving wife but the staff misunderstood opened the bags sprinkled the crisps on the sheets like salty confetti

I'm going to send you the photo it's very good and awful there we go Oh, why did they... How could they possibly have thought that's what they wanted? I don't know. What did they think they were going to do when they got back?

Roll around on it. That's horrendous. So, stunned, Rachel thought they were victims of a strange break-in when she opened the door and saw the scene, but still decided to eat some of them. Oh, of course. After a... Yeah.

After a mortified Johnny explained what must have happened, the pair could not stop laughing. Rachel loves crisps and would eat four bags a day That's not a quote from Johnny That is the article, just saying Rachel loves crisps And would eat four bags a day Spending up to 15 pounds a week on the snack

Until cutting down to one every two days recently In a bid to be healthier Rachel, an NHS worker from Akrington, Lancashire said, I was hysterical His face was a picture Since that day he's never tried any more romantic antics, but it's one of our favourite memories. Johnny, a warehouse operative, bought the crisps for Rachel's 30th birthday on December... She's 36. What's going on here?

Said in the opening, she's 36. Has he kept these for six years? Johnny, a warehouse operative, bought the crisps for Rachel's 30th birthday on December 15th, 2018. He said, looking back... Oh, have they just told this story six years on, I think? Yeah. Oh, maybe so. I think that's what's happened. He said, looking back, it is really funny, like we had some sort of prawn cocktail crisp fetish. Hotel staff changed the sheets

and gave the couple a voucher for another night's stay. Oh, God. God. Well, there you go. That's the end of the... What are these photos? Also, there's comments down below. Someone, for some reason, has just said

that bed was already slept in, how could you possibly tell? It's covered in crisps. Yeah, so. I cried out loud. What a weird thing. How could you possibly think? Oh yeah, I've got 30 bags of crisps.

Can you put them on the bed, please? Oh, to be fair, one time I told a hotel that I really liked, like, I really, I really liked going for a wee, yeah, and then they pissed in my bed, so. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't realize that's actually what you were going to say. I was trying to think of a way where I could say that I don't like piss, that I like having a piss. I like taking a piss. I'm like, oh, this man must want piss in his bed.

Betty salted. That's right. Good, good, good, good line. Yeah, thank you very much to, hang on, who was it? James at Corrosion Audio for submitting that. Sorry, Mikey, I cut you off there. I just imagine being that staff member. I feel like maybe after five bags of crisp, be realigned.

They made us to stay and do carry on. She's like, did that feel right? Yeah. Did that feel like the right thing to do? Where are they going to sleep tonight? What am I doing? And if this is a fetish thing, am I comfortable continuing? Yeah.

Why can they not crisp their bed themselves? I don't want to be involved in this. Oh, God. Christ. So I went to Japan at the end of April into the start of May. I had an amazing time, did all sorts of stuff, managed to squeeze a lot in over the sort of nine days that I was there. One of the things I did, though, was go to a Japanese hot spring or an onsen. So for the second episode in a row, I'd like to talk about being

naked and sweaty. Ben, can I just say, my thing is also very, very similar. I'm also going to do an anecdote about being a bit embarrassed. But, hey, it's a little. But, hey, it's a lot. It's a bumper session today. Yeah. Yeah, bum's out bumper session. Let's do it. Yeah. So we did our due diligence in advance. We emailed ahead, checked that we were allowed in with tattoos

because that is a big thing in Japanese culture, because of you have tattoos. Especially if you've got, it is beans time. If you've got a beans time tattoo, you clearly work for the Yakuza. So that's why you're not allowed in these places. They said it was fine. So you're like, great. This was also in Hokkaido, which is. is the far north of Japan. So nowhere near Tokyo, not like a reasonably touristy area in the

sense that we were there, but nowhere near as touristy. They are not used to seeing, as used to seeing Westerners, white people as if you were in a more metropolitan area potentially. So I went there with my girlfriend and a family member who lives in Japan. And because they're both female, they're able to go in together and I had to go in on my own because it's separated by gender and already I was a bit nervous because I was like I'm going to have to get my my wonkins and my my bolecks out and I'm already going to feel like a bit of a pariah because I'm probably going to be the only white person in here and people are going to be looking at me because I am tall blonde white and have tattoos and that is going to I'm already uncomfortable with the idea of having my

Nico Bellix out in public and all these other things are just going to put me under a microscope basically for anyone else who's in there. And separated by gender means that I'm going to be going in by myself. It's an interesting turn of phrase talking about having your bellics out. It's going to put me under a microscope. They're going to need to get the microscope out to see my bellics is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. So we arrive and by the time we arrive, it's the evening, it's dark, it's quite cold, actually, because it is cold in northern Japan, usually quite snowy most of the year. There are mountains nearby as well, which have snow on them. It's very picturesque, although it is dark, so we can't see an awful lot. We park up and head inside. You have to leave your shoes

at the door, which is customary in a lot of places in Japan. And there were some lockers that you could put coins in to leave your shoes in, but there is sort of like free, just leave your shoes here, space available as well. And while we were trying to work out the lockers, a Japanese couple arrived who were sort of middle age and they were middle aged sorry and they were just sort of waiting for us to finish up um we gave up on the shoe locker though because it needed you needed to put physical currency in to do it and we didn't have a lot of physical currency um and we'd as we would later find out it's a good thing we didn't waste physical currency on that because you you could only pay by cash and weirdly japan a very cash dependent society not an awful lot of

sort of using cards and contactless stuff which I was a bit surprised by but anyway we decided to leave that and just use the free stuff and then they sort of just like they didn't even mutter to themselves they just openly chatted to each other in Japanese and my family member who does speak Japanese responded to them and they sounded a bit sheepish

and embarrassed and sort of laughed it off and then I was told afterwards that basically what they said was yeah because the lockers are too much effort or something like that like really sarcastically because they're not going to understand what we're saying. So I was like, already I feel really welcome here and already feeling a bit nervous, so this is fine. So then we had to go up to this machine to buy tickets because for whatever reason,

this building is also a restaurant. And so a lot of people are there to go to the restaurant and not necessarily the onsen. Not necessarily get naked. Exactly. Not everyone's there to get their bellics out. So we then had to run back to the car to get more cash out because it only takes cash from I'm like, this sucks because it's a machine that you buy a ticket from, but it doesn't take any card, which is annoying. So then we eventually, we pay, we go in, we have to walk through several corridors and staircases to get to the actual hot spring part of the building.

And then I have to say goodbye to the people I'm there with. I have to slide a curtain aside and then slide a sliding door aside and then I'm in the boys changing rooms and I'm by myself. And I'm a bit nervous. And there are signs in there, but they're not in English. And so I have to take my phone out in a changing room to sort of take photos with Google Translate and try and work out what's going on. And they sort of detail the basic etiquette of what you've got to do when you get in there. But the only thing I can see on the other side of this changing room is another sliding door. And I don't know what's on the other side of it, as in, is there another staging area before you get to the hot spring?

Or do I get naked now? I'm not sure. Oh, God. so I'm sort of paralysed by by fear and choice at this point I don't really like do I just say because I already knew as I said very nervous but this is going to be a hell of an experience in it and hopefully a story afterwards I'll just I'll just throw on my you have I have a tiny modesty towel that doesn't even go around my waist you basically just have to pin it above your

on your mons so it dangles over to sort of cover you on your mons yeah um and um My girlfriend and family member are in the women's changing rooms, literally on the other side of the wall. And we're connected to the same, like, Wi-Fi dongle. So we've got data out in Japan. And they have specifically, my family member who's been to these kind of places before, is waiting for me to say, I'm going in before they go in just in case I have any questions. So I'm sending messages like, do I get naked now? What do I do?

I don't know. And eventually I give up. And I'm like, all right, I'm just going to do it. So I take a deep breath. and I slide open the door. I've got my little courtesy towel just dangling over my magentanils and thankfully it is the onsen

directly the other side. And it is beautiful in that it's sort of like a big wooden house that I'm in. It's very steamy in there. There's a couple of constructed wooden baths with like bamboo flutes that are bringing the water in.

The floor is all natural sort of like eroded, curvy but very smooth stone that's been like whittled down over centuries and there's a there's also what I can only describe as a rock pool which is the only natural inside formation that you can sit in and it wasn't too busy there's a wall of mirrors and like shower handsets and complimentary shampoo and conditioner and stuff like that and I read up on the do's and don'ts beforehand so you're meant to take a little stool wash it off sit down on it naked and give yourself a little little like rough wash before you do anything. So I did that. No one was really looking at me,

which was nice. Washed off the stall again, put it back, plonked myself down in one of the wooden baths because that's where I felt safe because there was no one else in it. And then I just sort of avoided and you put your courtesy towel on your head while you're in there. So I had my towel on my head. And that was just on my wasn't, but it's clean. It's all clean. It's fine. And then I just sort of bided my time, tried not to make eye contact with anyone for as long as possible. And I knew that there was an outside bit. And I also knew that it was raining. And I kind of wanted to feel like a big frog and sit outside in the rain, in the hot spring. And after a little while, I noticed that people were coming in and out of a door. And I was like, that must be where

you go. But also, I am sort of paralyzed by fear right now. And I'm not really sure if I can do it. But I plucked up the courage and I went over and I went outside. And it was. was beautiful, sort of this lovely natural pool illuminated by very soft lighting in the distance they've like illuminated all the trees up the mountain and you can see some like Buddha statues and things. It was really, really lovely. And I sat there with my towel on my head in the, in the rain, in this lovely hot spring, feeling very accomplished, but also extremely self-conscious because on my way in there was a man who I saw on my left just watch me the whole way down the stairs while I got into the hot spring

and sit down and at the corner of my eye I could see he was still just intently staring at me like I was a like I was a marvel something something to be observed you in the back of the head you're not staring at you and your john and you're staring at you and you'd be tall white in white blonde yeah that's it yeah that's probably I mean he wasn't staring at my johnson because I had my towel over me so he couldn't even if he wanted to he couldn't in the middle of this hot spring there was a big boulder sort of a natural rock thing and you could walk around it and there was another set of stairs out the opposite side to where I came in and then seemingly another sort of wooden outdoor

bath that there were people in and no less no fewer sorry than two people walked down the same stairs that I had walked down saw that I was there looked at me for a moment then made great pains to walk around the other side of the boulder so as not to have to walk past me to then get out the other side. And that was such a surreal experience to be sort of singled out for not fitting in because of my race. And it's something obviously that we take very much for granted in the West. Yeah, sure. But it was very odd in a way that sort of flies in the face of what I think a lot of people

would assume the average Japanese person might be like in terms of the politeness of the society that genuinely I experienced across the entire rest of my trip but in that specific environment I felt very out of place and honestly a little unwelcome at times

it was really weird so after that I was like I think I've had enough now I've cooked myself for a while I went back inside plonk myself back I was actually going to shower and then leave but there were lots of rowdy boys and I felt a bit intimidated, so I got back in my wooden tub and I waited until it calmed down

and then I showered myself off, got changed, went out to wait and in that waiting area, I experienced it again where as I was walking past a guy who was waiting for someone else, he fully craned his entire neck and body around to watch me walk past. And then after a few moments, pivoted 180 degrees to like just look at me. to just take a good old look at me and then turn back around. And I was like, that's so, it was so weird. It was such a weird experience. But then I met up with the others and that was the end of my hot spring experience.

But very weird. If I was to do it again, it would be nice to have company, I think, rather than do it by myself. But yeah, getting hot and sweaty in Japan. Getting hot and sweaty in Newcastle. Same thing, basically. Definitely not relaxed. but when I was outside I tried to

appreciate the situation that I was in in terms of the yeah it was really cool it was a cool experience and I think probably if you go to something like that in a more touristy area perhaps you won't get as many looks but certainly going in by myself was

was a personal challenge for sure and I would like to do it in an environment where I feel a little less self-conscious but yeah really cool would recommend end. We're asking if you got any pictures there, but I guess that's not allowed.

Not allowed. No, not allowed. Not allowed. My story is in some ways very similar and in some ways kind of completely the opposite, but I'll have to tell you why in a moment. Amazing. After you, Mikey, though. All right, yes, I have a, where I hold your horses.

I've got a little viewer submitted thing to get to before we hear more about naked bodies. Sure. Very much, Ben. You're welcome. You're in a little naked body sandwich. which Mike's you right now. Yeah, how does it feel? Oh, boy.

Well, we're about to get religious, so what better time to be in the naked sandwich. For the J-Man. Getting naked for Jesus. This was submitted by Bartek Kibitzer at Bartol B.B. on Twitter. This is a Metro article. And I'm going to read the headline to you.

I'm going to send some pictures in the chat. It's Marvel. repainted 200 year old Virgin Mary shrine looks more like Marge Simpson oh boy oh no they can't keep getting away with this who's repainted another holy symbol eventually is going to get the point where there's more badly repainted religious symbols than actual original ones archaeologists will find them and be like why did they what was with this god that they had it's weird like yellow yeah So I'm just going to pop in the first picture.

Doop, doop, get ready, because it says it looks like Marge Simpson, but undeniably, that is a new Simpsons character entering the fray. I think the image hasn't worked. Maybe you scroll up. There we go. Oh, my God. Oh, good grief. So that looks, for people who can't see it, that looks like how 13-year-old me used to paint Warhammer. This is a very good description.

Just like massive splotches of white over the eyes with a little pinprick of black in the middle for a pupil. It is because it's got the Mary classic blue clothes as well. It does kind of evoke Marge, even though she doesn't have blue hair. It's certainly Marge's colour palette. She's got quite luscious lips as well, hasn't she? Yeah, very kissable. Lots of lipstick on there, sort of slapdash, smeared across. And then also a yellow Jesus as well, you know, just terrific.

How could we forget yellow? Jesus. Yeah, I mean, he was born of her body, so he would also be yellow. It stands to reason, right? Yeah, it's true. Jesus was a Simpson. I appreciate them going the extra mile to add in the blood coming from the chest. Yeah, the bloody dripping neck.

Oh, God, yeah, that is. The blood on the chest was a bit much for me. Yeah, and out of the nail holes as well. They've added a little drip to each one. Yeah. They're an artist, what can you say? It looks quite peaceful, though, doesn't he? She's just having a little snooze up there.

Yeah. She, perhaps, probably, it's mostly the eyes. She looks horrified. She's terrified of what is happening above her and what has happened to her. Yeah, indeed. Yeah. Looks like a warning for, like, what happens to you if you look at the sun directly too long. Yeah, it does sort of evoked up.

It's like that Donald Trump photo, isn't it, in some ways? She just needs to be pointing and squinting a bit. All right, let's see what this artist have to say for themselves. Or maybe nothing, maybe the artist is still being found. Was it Banksy? Oh, it looks like a Banksy. It could be a Banksy. Class of Banksy.

Villages are searching for an amateur artist who, quote-unquote, renovated a more than 200-year-old shrine in Poland. Oh, wow. Jesus and the Virgin Mary are depicted in the 1820 shrine, which is a registered monument in Stude Zionka, a small village in southern Poland. Or someone makes it worse that. It was registered somewhere. Like, it's in a registry now.

We know where that is. And we know what it is meant to look like, sadly. Not that. It's a man in a dusty office is typing up, updating the description. Yellow. I think he's really excited. This is the most work he's been able to do For ages of the Monument, the Jesus Monument Registry Office.

Hang on a minute. Our branding is yellow. Is this a Poddietz presents the Jesus Shrine? Where is it again? Poland. Studda-Zonka. Can you spell that for me? Oh, Poditz presents the Studazonka shrine.

Well, let's, you know what, the monuments already have been defaced. Let's say I go the extra mile and defaced the Google Maps for it as well. Studzi-Zi-O-W-E-O-W-L, let me just put it in Discord. Paste it in Discord. There you go. Let's have a look at that. Yeah, that's the one I'm looking at. Okay, I'm going to try and track it down on Google Maps.

Okay, sure. I'll track it down. I'll give you some more breadcrumbs to use as a trail. Pictures of the shrine went viral when former monument conservator, Monica Bodganowska shared it on Facebook. The Virgin Mary looks particularly shocked with her new paint job, her eyes darting to the side while clasping her hands. Oh, there we go, yeah.

Her skin appears more like. like that of Marge Simpson than the Madonna. They've got two in this town, you know. What? Oh, my great. Clicked on a different one and it's got trees next to it. There's the, there it is. And it's updated.

It's got the, it's got the Simpson. The Simpson one is the default one on Google Maps now. Oh, no. When did you type in to find it? Oh, God. It's so good. You just scroll down and there's her fucking face. Let me just send you a photo of just this page.

It's so, so good. Hang on, here we go. It's really good. Oh, my God. Oh, that's a way better photo than in the article. It is, isn't it? Oh, she's got like Wallace hands. They're massive.

She does. Proper chunky. That fence didn't do much work in protecting it. No, it's a security fence. They stepped right over that, didn't they? Yeah. Oh, God. Is it on a street view yet?

It's not on a street view yet. It's living. on May 2023 is I'll tell you what though you zoom in she still looks pretty horrified this is apparently another display of good intentions a renovated roadside chapel from the town of Studezionka it is enough to imagine that it was good sculptural work unfortunately very tarnished with thick layers of paint the hands aren't good sculptural work that's not been done by the painter the massive hands Someone's come in and remodeled her hands as well, look.

Yeah, I don't think the statue is particularly great to begin with. This is just the extra paint layers really do amplify the wonk. Yeah. The wonk. I'm having a crisis of confidence. Call it Catholic guilt, even though I'm not Catholic. I don't feel like we should claim a religious destination per people. Maybe not, yeah. Especially because it's hot at the moment.

It's too hot. We should. That's true. If anything, we should come back at the end of the year and maybe claim it. then. People might think we did the paint job if we vandalize it too much. Should I call it Google Vinty presents? Yeah, that's fine. That's innocuous. The cross stands in the middle of nowhere. There are no trees which greatly changes the context of the chapel. So yeah, this thing stands alone in a field. It's the only thing you can

see for miles and miles around. Good God. the author of the photos alerted the conversation services conservation not the conversation services I'm talking about it they're protecting it alerted them about the matter and let's hope that in the near future it will be possible to subject this valuable object to professional conservation because it deserves it

I don't know how to like subject the object to nice conservation subject feels quite aggressive there An inspection into the damage caused to the shrine is currently underway by local authorities who said, we are not dealing here with a case of vandalism. We are dealing with a case

quite common in similar, smaller communities of a shrine being restored in an absolutely unacceptable way. Oh no. It's absolutely raging. Unacceptable. Unfortunately, this has led to the devastation of the monument and, oh, I'm going to put in another picture,

This is very nicely, or maybe very helpfully, the artist included their signature and a date on the base of the statues. J.C. Jesus, did it. It's a self-portrait. J-C-2. J-C-2, he's back. You guys have been painting me wrong all this time. I'm yellow.

Oh, dear. And one last picture. A good, really striking angle here, a low angle. facing up, which really amplifies the beauty of Mary's big clompin hands. Jesus Christ. That is art in and of itself that flesh. Yeah, really good.

The lighting's giving Jesus a hell of a bosom as well, I'll say. Yeah, he's busting. It's a bit, yeah. He's busting. Good for Jesus. Goodness for me. It could have been worse. In 2012, a woman in her 80s attempted

to restore a fresco of Jesus Christ. I don't have that one. that's a classic that one I think that's the one that brought this kind of thing to everyone's attention maybe now there's Jesus hunters out there who go hunting or purposefully painting these things to get some attention

and in 1997 Mr Bean once famously attempted to British tourist Mr Bean once attempted to restore a work of art as well that scene was always so unsettling to me as a kid It's something like it's grey and drab and it's so frantic.

And the organ music, they put like this harsh organ music when he sees the bubbling pain and he's sort of panicking. I just, it gives me anxiety in this pain of my stomach. Like, what would I do?

I felt like I was in trouble. Yeah. Oh, it is really, really haunting. I don't know what it is. Oh, God. The last line here from the article describing the fresco of Jesus Christ in Spain saying it looked like,

a hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic so there you go there's a bit yeah so yeah we'll keep our eyes peeled for further updates so we can find this heinous criminal whose devastating monuments across Poland naughty naughty also keep doing it's quite good all right lovely thank you very much boys thank you Mikey yeah

oh you're very welcome I'm always happy to share the arts with you too Peter, I believe it's time for your tale of naked. Back to nudity. I mean, actually, my part, my story isn't necessarily so much about nudity, but it is about just sort of being an awkward white, British video game content creator boy being in an uncomfortable situation. But I tell you, like, I mean, you alluded to, hang on, I'm getting ahead of myself here, but you alluded earlier, Mikey, to men with their tackle out, and there is a bit of that. So there is, I can promise, a bit of nudity.

Well, that's what we're all here for, really, isn't it? Yes, indeed. A little bit of bum. Exactly. And under bollock, perhaps. Oh, well, just a touch. Bloody hell. Yeah, well, not a touch.

Do not touch. That's the rules. So I've just come back from a trip to Ireland, which was very nice. I had a lovely time. And while we were out there, So my, my, my wife has just celebrated a significant birthday. And for her birthday, she was given the gift of a spa day for two, not just for her, but for someone else.

And I, being married to her, got to be the other person. What a perk. Lucky. Yeah, I know, right? Yeah. And I, so I've been, I have been to spas before, but essentially just, it's like a nice swimming baths with a steam room and a sauna and so on and yeah they have rooms where you can get really expensive nice things but i've never done those before i've only ever enjoyed a you know a steam room

and a sauna and what have you so uh that's what i am familiar with but part of this package that we had was um treatments so going into this i was not i was a bit uncomfortable i was a bit or I was a bit nervous. I was like, it's a strange scenario. You know, I'm going to be in a room potentially with very little or maybe, depending on what they ask, I might have to have nothing on, maybe a towel or I don't know. Wasn't sure what to expect. But I'll tell you about my adventures.

So we got there and the first thing we did was we wanted to use the pool and the steam room and so on and then get the treatments afterwards. So we weren't and had a little swim around and stuff. It was really quiet. It was really nice. They had this like salt water pool as well, which was interesting. Did you drink any? Didn't drink any on purpose, but like your entire body gets kind of salty.

And so when you like lick your lips when you get out, you're kind of like, oh, I'm all salty. I really didn't know. I didn't think you were going to say any other body part, but part of me thought he's going to say like when you lick your arm when you get out. And I'm going to say, why did you lick your arm? arm. But lick your licked is such an obvious

sound to that for some reason I didn't think or he's like when you lick your cock when you get out you do big

willy lick after the salt part yeah so it was pretty salty but so then I had to

like get dried off and stuff and get ready to go and get these treatments done and in there there was an old man about 60

who did the classic old man in changing rooms thing where a soon as he could, he took his swimming trunks off and then as late as he could

he sort of covered up and got dressed and stuff. Now I'm no prude but when a man is literally just one, he like took his pants off and then he's like using the sink and he's like looking at his hair in the mirror just with his knob out he was at one point like

flossing his ass cheeks with a towel. Brilliant classic move. It's just every old man has to do that. There's a certain point in life where he just develop the audacity to be able to floss your crack in public spaces. Are you going to do that? Do you think, Mikey, are you going to do that? We all will, Ben.

There's no, it's non-negotiable. It's inevitable. You hit 60 and it's like, I'm going to go floss my ass in front of some other men. That's what I'm going to do. Wherever I can do it. Yeah, just leg up on the bench as well. Oh, like full on power stands. Yeah, I think it's like a power move at that point, isn't it?

Yeah. Calcan his balls? Oh, I didn't see any talc, actually. I'm sure we probably did, yeah. Right, right. So that kind of immediately put, just put me in the whole mindset of like, oh, nudity is weird, isn't it? Even though it's not. And, like, I'm quite, in some ways, I'm a fairly modern man and not very prudish and I'm quite metrosexual, but also like, oh, I've just seen, I've just seen old hairy bollocks, you know, and now I've got to go into a room and stuff's going to happen.

I don't know what's going to go on here. And I was all feeling all weird about it. So then, you know, we went out to the spa area, the treatment area. And we're sitting there filling in this health form and stuff that you have to do. And then this lady comes around the corner and goes, Amy. And Amy turns and says, yeah. She says, hi, I'm here to do your treatment and stuff. And I'm thinking, hello, I'm here too.

Excuse me. I'm sitting right here. The star's right here. Indeed. And then another lady comes around the corner and says, Peter. And I said, oh, yeah, yeah. And it's from that point on, we are essentially treated like as two completely separate clients, which I was really hoping that at least some of it or if not all of it would be done as like you can get like couples treatments where you're both lying there on adjacent massage tables or whatever and you can even like you can have a chat if you want to or you can just relax but no it that set the tone from that point on I was just going to be alone in a room with a lady who was going to be just doing weird stuff that I'm you know that I it was that I didn't it was the fear of the unknown I think is what I was there feeling.

Um, so she, she led me to this darkened room. And the first thing we were doing is they have the, they have a series of special baths, which is a bit of a strange thing, but they have, would you like a special bath? Would you like, you know, they have like a, I think they have a saltwater one and they have like, more liquid. Essential oils one get in. Yeah. They probably have a dead hole one as well.

Yes. The dental bath, of course. So she leads me to this room and walk and, and we walk into this like very dark and room. There's something very weird about someone you've never met before leading you to a room and essentially saying, right, I've run you a bath and you're just there in the room and there's a bath ready. And she said to me, would you... It's something quite nice about that. You don't hear that the only age of like eight. Yeah, exactly. It was a, it was a, what's the word, like a regressing experience in some ways.

And she said to me, would you like to... So I was still in my like semi-dried off swimming trunks and she said, would you like some disposable shorts? And I sort of shrugged and said, yeah, is that, do you think I should? And she said, yeah, like, that's normally better. So I was like, okay, fine. I said, I'll leave you to it. And I took these trunks out of the packet they were in. And when I say they were one size fits all, I mean that all of the people on earth could

have fit inside these trunks at the same time. Is it like that shirt that we got fit in the movies? Yes, exactly. But sort of crepey, like fabricy shorts. They had enough elastication on the waist that they stay up at the hips. But they were massive. So got in and had my bath, which was nice. And it had all these bubbles and lights and stuff.

It was like a Japanese toilet, actually. Ben, did you encounter any exciting Japanese toilets on your trip? I did. Yeah, it was pretty, it was a bit of a game changer, yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It was that kind of bad at the time, but it sounds lovely. Did you get any rubber ducks? No rubber ducks, sadly. But, you know, it was a very nice time. And then she comes back in after a little while and then takes me down to this room.

And again, at this point, I was hoping, oh, maybe now I'm going to meet up with Amy and we're going to have the rest of it. But no, I'm taken into this room onto this bed thing. and what I knew we were there for was a polish which I wasn't quite sure whether she was just going to cover me in Mr Sheen or something and then also an algae rap which sounds like something you'd get from like Pretta Monge or something.

Yeah, it's got a fancy lunch in it. Yeah, but so she started with the polish which was very nice but it was essentially like just an exfoliation thing so she like scrubbed my body to death and it actually it felt really nice it was very

I don't know it was just like having a a really nice scratch yeah yeah exactly it was like was you two handing it it's like yeah and she went right up

my big pants and right down my big pants as well from the top like she went everywhere which you know just doing her job but again me sitting there thinking like, oh, I don't know what's going to happen in this room. It's all very unnerving. Did you get any heads up before this?

Or was it just like she's doing a job and she's in the routine? Well, that's just what I was going to say, actually. So for the most part, I mean, she told me what each thing was going to be before it started. But as she sort of moved around various body parts, she was just doing it. Like, you know, suddenly her hands would be there and there and there and there. But then when I turned onto my back, so I'd started lying on my front and she was doing my back. and then I turned over and she'd like done my legs and stuff

from with me lying on my back and then she suddenly said Peter is it okay if I exfoliate your tummy and I was like don't say tummy say well I don't know what the better word would be but so I said oh yeah that's fine that's fine and then she like went over to the corner

to get some more of the stuff on her hands and I suddenly thought why did she why did she have to ask me that because I'd said yes I'd assume she was asking me because I guess like if you're pregnant or if maybe you have some kind of like, you know, issue with your organs, like your abdominal organs or whatever you might not want someone rubbing all over your tummy. But I thought, is that the reason or is it like, I mean this in a within the confines of professional service, like, is it is it something that people who regularly go to spas use as a kind of a polite way of saying the way that we do this treatment is we go. down your tummy and we might go very, very, very far down your tummy to the base of your shaft

kind of thing. I was thinking like, what have I just consented to? Like, was she, you know, was she not really asking about my tummy? Was she asking about sort of my mons? You know? Right. Yeah. Get right in on the mons. Yeah. Anyway, I think she was just asking about abdominal organs or something. Although she did go down the waistband a bit. It wasn't, it wasn't too, too dangerous. But then came the algae wrap and it was very nice it was like this really hot imagine like one of those giant tubs of like face cream you can get or something like is that kind of texture but imagine that heated up in the microwave to very very warm temperatures and then rubbed all over your body like it felt really nice but was very strange and it smet it did smell sort of not fishy but well like

seaweed, essentially, what it smelled like. So that was all a bit of a strange, like, collection of sensations. But it being an algae rub, it was completely green. And I was lying there at one point thinking just about the kind of the absurdity of what was going on and thinking, I'm going to have to tell this story on Pottietz. And just for most of this, I'd had my eyes shut. And just for a brief moment, I opened my eyes. after she'd been going for quite a while now, like, putting this algae all there for me.

And I looked down at my massive shorts that were purple, incidentally, and I'm completely green. And I'm like, I look like the Hulk has gone back to being weak, weak thin man, but he's still green. But something's gone really wrong. Yeah, yeah. And his shorts have expanded, but now the size they were when he was the monster. And, yeah, it was very strange. I'm just like looking like the Hulk. It was so weird.

And then that wasn't even the wrap in itself. It's not just that they put the stuff on you. You're lying on this bed that you're on a layer of cling film essentially, like plastic, which I thought was there just to protect the bed. But there was so much excess of it drooping down the sides of the bed. And she lifts it up and wraps it over you. And she saran wraps you. You get shrink wrapped.

And then underneath that on the bed, you're essentially just sitting in a giant gym bag. You don't realize it at the time, but she brings the sides up and zips you up inside it in this cocoon. And then she said, I'm going to switch this on now. And I'm thinking, what do you mean, switch it on? What are you going to do? Like a baked potato. Yeah. And that's what it was.

It was like a heated bag thing. And so you let you let this like algae get all hot on you and it's all wrapped. up against your skin so it can't really go anywhere and I guess it's sort of meant to make you sweat and let your paws open up and stuff and it was all very strange but uh you know it it's it was nice it was really good so she went off and left me like that I felt like an actual piece of sushi because I'm just all wrapped up and I smell like fish um and uh eventually she comes and she she unzips me and uh I've been trying to just like keep keep my mind like you know like stop being awkward stop being weird and I was like just just just

think about something normal. Don't think about how weird this situation is. Just think about and I looked down at my green skin again as she was unwrapping me and that was just for some reason thinking about Shrek. Well, I know why or not for some reason. It's because I was green. So I'm lying there. This lady's like unwrapping plastic off me as I'm covered in like warm cream and I'm like, somebody, you know, having a great time. And then there's a sort of slightly indignified ending where I kind of thought that she was going to like get a big flannel and just kind of wipe all the stuff off first. But no, she kind of says, okay, so there's a shower over there in the corner for you. And here's some towels. And she sort of laid some towels on the

floor as well for me to walk on to get to the shower. And as you're walking, you're leaving this like green slime everywhere. And I had the shower and washed it all off. And when I looked back into the room after I got out of the shower, there's just all these like soiled green towels all over the floor which obviously is part of the process she's not going to come in and be like what the hell have you been doing in here but uh it kind of looked like someone had cleaned up after like a baby having diarrhea or something like it was just it was really weird um anyway all of which is to say i actually had a lovely time it was very relaxing i was thinking about telling this story on potty it's for most of the time but it was it was very nice it was just really

strange and I guess a bit like your story Ben like you I imagine you to some extent or other enjoyed the actual lying in the the tub thing if not for the fact that everything else around you was strange and uncomfortable yeah sure yeah so I had a really nice time and I didn't have to get naked I just got to see a pair of saggy old man bollocks just just for free so lucky yeah I believe you got that as well. Did you keep the big shorts? I didn't actually, but I'm sure if I'd asked, I probably could have done. Can I keep the big shots?

Excuse me. They're all green. Yeah, they were. They were all slimy and weird. It was so strange. Absolutely, sir. I'll get you a bag for those. No need, I will wear them out.

Oh, God. Anyway, it was all very good. And all the people I dealt with were really good as well like you know they did everything that they could and should have done to just be normal and and make an awkward man feel at ease and yeah I I did okay I think but just a strange environment you know like you at the tanning salon as well Ben yes what are we doing in these places how is this happening yeah yeah it's your turn Mikey you need to go and go to a nail bar or something go and get a facial or something yeah I got maybe I'll look

up some spars in the area and see what I can do. I can't just do like normal spa. Can't do an algae wrap sadly. Or maybe I can do it as part of it. I'll find something. It's time I had a little bit of treatment. My skin needs a nice green glow. Yeah. A healthy green glow. I think they gave me the purple pants on purpose. They were like, yes. He's in for the Hulk treatment. Oh God. God. Amazing. Thank you very much, Peter. You're welcome. Good. I mean, Yeah, you can go back now and you know what you're getting in for and you'll be relaxed the entire way through

and you won't have to have in your mind this is potty, it's content. Yeah. Just be... I told that story now. You can just enjoy being green. Yeah, I would definitely do it again. It was really nice.

Like the hot green face cream all over you feels amazingly relaxing. Like it's more than I expected it to. I was like, oh, this is really good. I could do with hot cream more in my life, I think. Go get it, man. Yeah, maybe I will. It's going to be wrapped up in Klingfilm.

That's just microwaving guacamole and trying to do it at home. Yeah. It's not the same. It's not the same. Amy, it's not the same. The pants are they fit. It's not the same. Oh, no.

Amazing. Well, thank you very much, Peter. You're welcome. Thank you, Mikey, for your things as well. And I believe this takes us to the end of the episode. Did you know, Michael Johnson, that there is seemingly some sort of shop, question mark? You're darn Tootin, if you head over to Vidyidsofficial.com and click on the lovely enticing, spectacular, beautiful shop button. You will be greeted by a bounty, a veritable bounty of Vidiates and Podiots-related memorabilia and tat.

We've got huddies. We've got shirts. We got caps. We got mug. We got stickers. Oh, boy. what a deal what that means

but boy what a deal your one-stop shop for all of your weird little designs on t-shirts go check it out treat yourself

you worth it video's official dot com wow what an advert amazing yeah what a deal Instagram and TikTok we are at

viddiots dot official and on YouTube Twitter Facebook and blue sky we are forward slash Vidyatts official Discord vidiotsofficial dot com forward slash discord thank you tommy and fleckers for modding us over there we appreciate you both

very much twitch dot tv forward slash viduets official is where we will stream at the end of the year for the reunion stream however right now you can go to pottyts.com and if you donate three pounds or more you'll get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of the podcast you support what we're doing you will immortalize yourself in an episode or a friend or a pet or something as we continue our final run up to the end of the year. Thank you so much again to this month's pod squad, which is, of course, Michael Johnson, take it away. Immortalised Forever is,

Your Domegash is beautiful. Lovely, still doesn't feel right, thank you. Rangrop Joy, Donak 07, Stephen Skodes, the generous King Cool, Harry Wooey-Wam's, and the equally, well, the also generous, generous. Jewel loves Jess. Oh.

Ugh. Uh, we also had UV-induced knob spoiders. Narfwed can't watch Andor. Lord Even Saddanovich. Triple Jump is changing. Caroline, do we own a cat? And in the wake of, TJ changing, hyphen sad. Sad.

And finally, we have Mess on Me Mobs for May Day. Become OBGYNs, period. Dodiates, Domegash D's nuts, Euraxvom Paradis nuts, J.D. Vance Inda underpants, Keith Skugwins dead, Kermit the Pog, chocolate eggers, and Prince Beefcase. Thank you so much, Poddsquoise.com, three pounds or more together. Shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode. Thank you so much, everybody. What is the highlight, Peter Austin, of what came out on Vidyates seven years ago this month? Anything big? Sure, there were plenty more

Post some tats and various bits and bobs But there's some of the big ones Oh, and Skyrim Zoo continued through the month But we had worst games ever, Beverly Hills Cop We're coming back to Newcastle, Glitch, 2018 What is it? Which, what is it? Imagine a world where glitch happened

I guess live on a stage That was staged with hat films Uh, wow Fittingly, having mentioned potato smileys today Worst cooking ever, the official WGE meal went out on the 11th of May. So that's another classic. We did the Spiro Prove It. We had Worst Games Ever Shelt's Shock 2 Blood Trails.

There was also the Han Solo Dance Challenge, as well as the I'm Hans Solo Raw Green Screen upload. And then that pretty much takes us to the end of the month in terms of highlights. But, you know, lots of other things as well, Sunday fun days and all your usual stuff. So go have a look at all of that. Excellent. Michael Johnson, where are you on the internet, please? At Parrot Boy on Instagram and Blue Sky is where you can find me. I rarely post, but maybe I will.

I probably won't, but follow me there just in case I ever decide to. Thank you. Amazing. And Peter, where are we now, please? We are now, as said, making more worst games ever on our own channel. dot com forward slash at worst games ever and you can find us at worst games ink i nc on most of the social media places ben is streaming on twitch at twitch dot tv forward slash confused underscore dude playing lots of different video games several times a week and you can find me on

youtube doing weird capetia-esque stuff and sort of mikey johnson strange historical characters at YouTube.com at forward slash at that Peter Austin and in both cases the at symbols are required that's how YouTube works now apparently Yes Incredible well there's just enough time To not only leave us a five-star review

On your platform of choice It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythm But also to ask a final question What do you guys think it should be? The tat The tat Gotta be What tat are you getting out of the line off?

As in tattoo not Not tat It's not posting sat. No. Yeah. What's your tattoo of choice from the list? What would you get? I guess we've already asked that, though, haven't we?

Maybe the question should be, will you be getting the winning tattoo on your skin? Just a series of responses that say, absolutely not. No, no, won't, shan't, et cetera. Amazing. Thank you so much for listening slash watching. Everybody will be back next month. We appreciate you all.

Take care of yourselves. And we'll see you then. Goodbye. Bye. Bye-bye.