Podiots - Podiots Episode 167: Podiots Presents: Podiots - LIVE!

Episode Date: August 15, 2026

In this episode of Podiots, Mikey's searching for answers, Peter's got some questions, and Ben's got his best Onions, and so much more! It's Podiots Presents: Podiots, filmed live in front of an audience in Newcastle! To coincide with the release of this video, we're also opening up our merch shop! We've got tonnes of new things, but get in quick because we have limited quantities available! https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Pod Idiots presents Pod Idiots viewing audience, or words to that effect. My name is Simon Miller, Stara Beverly Hills Cop, and it's my pleasure to introduce and welcome you to the show today. So I see you guys have chosen to come to the morning show. I mean those chuffing idiots that decide to go to the afternoon. Show don't know what they're missing. Because basically, I love going to shows in the morning.

Sometimes I have stuff to do in the afternoon, so it doesn't work out time-wise. Regardless, I, Simon Miller, the bored idiot, do implore you to get involved heavily in today's show. You should cheer, you should laugh, you should boo, please don't definitely boo. And of course, you should buy at least one item from the merchandise stand and also make sure you get your question card in. And if you have forgotten to return your very special pen that was given to you, don't worry about it, although you may be arrested. This show has also been a long time coming. I mean, you can't possibly do it on day one.

As we all know, the best process and the breast protocol is to release less and less episodes as the years do go on, to the point you realize you just want to end the whole thing, conclude it. So why not finish it off with a bang with a live show? I mean it's as tale as old as time itself. But all that said, please do sit back, relax and of course enjoy Pod Idiots, presents Pod Idiots. It's time to get serious about this. Ancient Idiots.

I guess this is... Tour science is in the auditorium. Hey everybody. How the hell are we all doing? Whoa. There's so bloody many of you. Oh, Jesus. You're much louder than the previous show.

Who's been drinking? Right, that's it. Thanks for coming, everyone. We're done. Welcome to Poddius presents Podius. Thank you so much for travelling. I'm assuming sometimes quite far to be here to witness three idiots,

talk about farts for two hours. Hopefully we'll make it worth your time, but it means an awful lot to us for you to come out this evening. So thank you very much, everybody. We hope you're excited. I've got to try and get comfortable. now. I've slid in the wrong way.

You ready for me to make an absolute noise with my chair? Yep. Oh, it's a good chair. And here we go. Okay, there we go, right. Ben, we've got a professional sound engineer at the back of the room. He's not going to be pleased with things like that. Okay, I'll be quiet.

Right. What we'd like to know is where people have come from today. So, has anyone come from Newcastle? No. No. That's crazy. That's crazy. Wow.

Not a single person. There were loads of jordes earlier. So many people from the North East in the previous show. Anyone from the London area? The London area. London area. We can't really see you. We're just nodding along.

How about across the channel? Anyone from Europe today? Yay! Let's go. Amazing. Anyone from the United States of America. Yes. Amazing.

But the big question is, can anyone outdo or match the person at the previous show who came from Australia? Oh, we got on, we got on. Where did you come from? Australia. Oh, yes. We don't need more details. Come on. Well done.

Thank you. Well, we're all here. Yes. There's also someone very special behind the curtain whose job it is to help us kick off podcast. Oh, that's right. Oh, yes. Kevin? Kevin? Kevin, if you wouldn't mind rolling me. Kevin? Can you give you a little? Yeah.

Hello everybody and welcome to Poddy. It's the official Vidiot. Podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us where everybody brings a thing along to talk our. About. Fantastic. I'm Ben. I'm Peter.

And I'm Michael. Hello. Amazing. Well, we've got quite the show in store for you. This is normally the bit where we'd talk about what we've been up to recently. And the answer is live show. It's all been live show for weeks now. Obviously, we did a matinee show.

And that was rubbish. This is going to be way in there. So you're at the right one. Yeah. So you pick the right one. So we think what we're actually going to do is jump straight into the Pod Squad. Yes. Now, we are going to have to beg your indulgence here because it's fucking massive.

Yeah, come on, that's... It's a thick wadge of papers. Some incredibly generous and supported people. Many of you may be in the audience. If you hear your name, feel free to do one woo. That's it. But, yeah, obviously, we've only been able to continue doing potty. as long as we have because of the generosity of the pod squad.

You guys being here is unbelievable. And I think we all know how important the pod squad is. So we are going to give them their time in the sun. As long as you think it is, it's longer than that. Yes. Please bear with us. There is a show at the end of this. Michael Johnson would you like to kick us off with the Pumpy Platoon?

I'd be honored. We begin with no blobby, no party. RIP V-Oytes. God bless. Kise Kis, genuinely loved memory cards. Anthony and Becker. Mod Squad on tour, but very sad. Honey, linear.

The generous Rye Bread Boy, who says, from name redundant through until now, you boys have been a shining beacon through ups and downs. I can't express how much your content over the years has meant, flown across the bloody world, and so glad to be able to support you three one last time. Also, the generous Iron Hand Jay and Dr. Steff, who say,

Ye! Let's go! Hello, boys, or girls, I've been here since the beginning, and my wife has just started listening

to your content since moving from Chicago. Thank you all for the big laughs over the years. Ben, one last. Would you like to ride the bone train,

Morton? Would you like to ride the bone train Morton? And could you also, just for all times sake, give us a, no.

Oh, no! Yes. Thank you. Thank you. We continue with Benson Boy, the generous he is the Cuzz.

Couldn't make the show Thank you boys And Brian, Bobby and Dave For being on repeat For so many years of my life Don't cry because it's over Cry because it happened Told my friends

Hope not too late Too late Rude Yeah Whoops The generous Mr Blobby Babylonie Who says There are so many amazing pod squad names

I wasn't sure if this one Had already been done Been lurking from the beginning But decided it was time to thank you boys for all the laughs over the years. Good luck with all your future endeavours. Kis, keys, keys. The generous Anominoos, he says,

thank you ladies, or gentlemen. The generous, a div, finally joins Pod Squad. They say, my one and only Pod Squad donation. Just want to say a huge thank you for eight years. Through transition, house moves, COVID, and all of life's other ups and downs, you fabulous boys have been there for me

and words can't express how much it all means. All the low. I think the message trimmed out a little bit there All the low All of the low The generous Jens Herman Unfortunately my Asperger's and anxiety Prevented me from being here

But I still hope that you and everyone else Had an incredible time Shout out to Benson Wee Carrot Dark Hawk Coolie Wooly and Nate You're all amazing And Potter

Learn how to play Pokemon Get us together No No I won't The Generous The Farwall Who says

Goodid not to have made it There live in the end But cheers boys for many years of silliness we wish you well in your future endeavors Stu Baldwin 22 we had to cut this name here because it's a little bit too risky but we'll give they donated twice so we'll give you the follow-up message and see if you can piece together the pieces the second message was he fucking did so you can put literally any man's name there and it probably works so we thought made a bit

blue it was obscene it was just got rid of that bit Serene is a birch bitch Shout hello or bye if he're alive Nope Not a soul The generous Stephen Scores Says hello boys Happy live potty at show day

Wish you guys a wonderful show Wish I could be there Thanks for the many laughs over the years on the podcast You guys are truly amazing And all lovely boys Big love to you guys Caroline We are live

Grayson creation is sad That's page one. That's not all. Dan Locky, the generous Big Titty Jesus 42, says, Hey, boys, I know I'm cutting it close with this, but I had to be a part of the last podcast. I just need to say you brought me and many others so much joy. Thank you.

I'm going to go have a lay down and a cry now. This is a good one. Wolfgang Amadees Nuts, Moeshart. Thank you for that. Anonymous, Niels Poo Cannon. Really good. Joanie 666, stucalicious. Hey.

Day. Dead Eye Minis. Porga Red. Evil Waffles. Declan and Nicole, 10 years. Barbara Pisses Cook. Thank you. It was, sadly, very generous.

Thank you so much for all the entertainment over the years. We'll miss you. We'll miss you too. Barbara Pissus Cuck. Absolutely. The Jackalbite, Hemily. Joe Mama, who is very generous and says, Cheers, guys.

it has been a great run. Thank you so much for everything you've done. The transition from mid-2010's YouTube has been massive, but you have been great at every step. Apologies for previous weird pod squad names from Joey. You are forgiven. Ben Ellis hasn't seen poddiots. Woo! He has now. Harrison's birthday is today. Happy birthday. Bartec Cabitzer. Badly printed Miley Cyrus top. Will oil beef hooked. S.D. Witt. I messed that up. Whoops. Pottie Allison, the human aunts, DJ Chizzles. The generous, yeah, let's go. The generous Martin and Shell, who say

a massive thank you for all the laughs. You boys helped us both through some difficult times over the years and some great times too. From Martin and Shell, not married yet. But we'll be next month. Next month. You know what? Get out. Get married. Get married. trying to turn this into some sort of den of sin. And at the end there it says PS bring back memory cards. No. And lastly on my list is 13 Inc.

He's generous and says, thank you for all the years of content boys. I'm heartbroken to see Pottie, it's come to an end. But I am so grateful that you guys kept going for this long. Hashtag V-Oids for life. And quick, everyone, if you all start begging and pleading, they might change their minds.

Nope. Yep. Well done, Mikey. The Pumpy Patoon, everyone. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. And the list continues with the tiny troop. We've got Tommy the Wang Kenshin. I fucking love you, boys.

It was very generous. I fucking love you, boys. This podcast means more to me than I'd like to admit. It gave me community. It helped cement my humor from uni into adulthood. And it's been my constant companion. It's an honor to have been here for the ride, love, Trigily Searide Tea.

Tug me Todger for the last poddiots. Anonymous Brian Blessed Thong Blobby Blags Bargin Boobbs Dr Goblin Woo Big Woo

Woo Woo Gable Tell your friend's ship his magic Ludsy Mr. Bloby Sloopy Noobie Noe

Noe Hey Nice one Katie Kins Solo The very generous One vowel From Shira Woo

Woo Every everything vidiates has been a true delight Good luck with the shows Thank you for so many laughs Kiskees Joel Walker 2

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar Luminal Spoon Bob Way Bobly Nario Mr Black L Bacon 97 Plus she loves Jenny Kin

Martin in Black Anonymous Dave Raventon Tim Tam Jim Jam who was very generous and says Kia Ora from the little old

New Zealand Could let Could let the last Podiot's episode go buy without some weak currency contribution from Middle Earth. I'll keep it short, just like Tiny Pete. And simply say, I love you guys. Thanks for the laws and the raffles over the years, keys, keys.

We've also got... Aaron Laura, who is very generous. I've been an... Woo! I've been an avid fan since 2018 and was sad when the channel changed. However, the pod continuing helped me through some bad times and good times alike. This donation is a drop in the bucket of all the last. laughs you've given me over the years,

keys, keys, thanks for the very generous, you know it's all about Dacom Hello boys or girls or others in attendance, hope you're all having a blast. I'm in Australia where it's fucking cold right now, so I'm living vicariously through everyone at the shows. One last thank you to idiots for all the insanity, keys, keys to

everyone. Turn the page. Nearly there, nearly there, everyone. Well done, everyone. Well done, everyone. Thank you. Lorbadovich. Woo! I'm sorry bollocks. Deep cut Very good

DBP sells Avon It's very good Yep It's true Matt Marr Matt Matt Marg Margaret Harry Williams

who was very generous So here we go The final hurrah As you read this I'm in the audience Right love you there Unless you're reading this in the morning show

In which case I'm talking shit It's going to be a sad one But I'm so excited for this show Thank you for all the great times hashtag Ty-YF, tell your friends. Jack Bradshaw. Shut up Poddiet's you're dead. Ouch!

It's rude, isn't it? Not yet, we got another two hours before we die. Yeah, another hour and a half and then we're dead. Unfortunately, was the most generous in the entire Pod squad. Extra 50s worth for each of you for the joy you brought me since name redundant. Sad to see you go.

but will continue to follow your future ventures, which I wish you the best of luck in. Lots of love and big kiss-keys. Tom Rajagopalan. You know what? I said it right in the first show. Yeah, you really smashed it the first time. This is the better show, though.

Yes. Beth Kalan McQueen was very generous. From the Kalman McQueen's. Thank you very much for everything. From Mikey nearly being sick with laughter at Little Britain, to Peter getting hit by a car, to Ben's sausage slinging, to now being in the room right here with you.

you to bury and then it actually just says Vyots rather than Vioids. If you've dropped another vote. You want to go serious about this. Hang on. If you want to get serious about this. We will forgive you. Bye-bye Billy. Thank you very much. We also got struck by Lightning Beth who was very

generous. Thanks for all the laughs and memories, boys. We will miss your tomfoolery and nonsense for us. It will forever be Bean's time. There was also Harrison Kalman McQueen. It would be really awkward if you weren't here. Lloyd W. Zambili, who was very generous. From Vod Squad to Pod Squad, the journey is complete.

Love you, boys. Thanks for all the laughs, cries and scares. I'll never look at a seagull or a gorilla the same way again. And I thank you. I can't wait to see what you do, what you all do in the future. Much love. Caroline Pottietz has changed. Kata Karen, very generous. Thanks for everything, boys.

It's been a blast. Because of you, I've made friends. I wouldn't have otherwise have. never met and smiled more than I would have otherwise. Thank you. There was a generous anonymous who says, you lads are legends, you brought so much joy and birds and fart jokes to all of us, the enlightened 0.0.0.07% of humans who did tell our friends. And then in parentheses it says maths. Maths. Yeah. This is not a goodbye. Instead, it is, as they say on the fart planet, Puevoire, we'll shite again.

Caroline, I've saved you a seat Jules' face who was very generous Thank you boys for all the laps over the years From almost crushing my car laughing at living with Neil Buchanan To Chocolate Grandma to Dog Rap Tolliot's Presenting to DBP's toilet seat Thank you very much for being a good noise To drive away the bad days

Captain Silver Linings was very generous Big Kiskees from Washington the state not the DC V-Oates and by extension Pioits has helped me through what my therapist has described, a lot trademarked. You lads have been a parasycial part of my life for a third of my life and I miss you already.

Kise-hug, Kis-Hug, Duncan. We also have Yog-Con Rules Boss. Yay! Somewhere, very generous. Somewhere in the crowd this evening, hopefully still around. We'll miss this, but glad it happened. Thank you very much. And the final two

donations were both from, Donak-07. Yay! Now it's time for the fast crew. Is Freddie Weber here tonight? There is. You're not welcome here, please leave. Good.

Okay. Mataday is Trute Day. The very generous, written it too small, Peter, can't read it. Do you want me to read it? El Gizi, boys, thank you for all the laughs. Podiat's has been essential listening

for my brother and me. He even went on a Podiat's pilgrimage. and we will keep re-listening after the big change. May our faces always be meat, and our babalunis always be bobbed. Luke James 89, the exceedingly generous Prince Beefcakes, who says,

I'm devastated to have barely missed donating the last few episodes. Absolutely beefed it on my end. Here wishing you'll bond voyage and a final big Kiskees-Keece. Love you boys and all the warrens clan. It's been a ride. Your sincerely, Beth, with a question of all,

Heather Quinn. The very generous, Daniel, who said, despite Beas, being a big strong boy, I found myself crying at the end of episode 166. Thanks for the years of entertainment. Thanks also for giving Pottie, it's a proper ending, rather than just petering out like so many other podcasts and YouTube channels. Wow. Thank you, Daniel.

Who hurt you, Danny? To be fair, I think we did. Yeah. White Wolf Biker was very generous and said, hello, lad, been a fan since the start of and followed the three of you since and plan to continue in the future too. Wanted to give a little back to celebrate as you three are legendary. Don't cry because it's over. Cry because it happened.

Jet Force, Juno was very generous. Hi, lads. Just want to take this lucky last chance to say thanks for all the wonderful memories. For the last five years, your videos and podcasts have gotten me through some of the lowest points of my life, but none as low as seeing videos changing forever. Sorry. Jet Force, Juno then, very kindly donated again. David and Joanne might have dew.

Yes. Ted McBred, the very generous Podiott's shaped hole in my life. Are we at the point now where I can read this in full, do you think? Go for it. Everyone's had a couple of drinks. It's a bit foul, this one. Podiots has brought levity to my life for years now, and for that, I say a sincere thank you. Its final change leaves a deep hole in me, a 21-inch hole, to be precise.

I guess the only thing left to establish is which of you brought the 6, 7 and 8 inches. smallest, small one. Carrie and Ryan, who were very generous and said, forgot to donate before, but much love to you all. Thanks for all the laughs and all your hard work to entertain us. Come at the pog. Vidiot's changed us all. Mark Graham was generous and said, thank you for all the fun over the years.

Come at the pog again. DBP's BGCD. They were at the matinee. They confirmed they didn't know how to use it and they just donated twice. to live. Axles. We did offer to refund. They said it was okay.

Axles Alive 95. And finally, the final member of Pod Squad, best till last, very generous, Gary Forskin and the pullbacks. Woo. Wow. What a collection. Who said, you guys were the soundtrack to my commutes during the last four years in the UK.

And since I moved home to Australia in 2022, Pottieitz has felt. like keeping a little piece of it with me. Don't be sad that it's over. Be sad that it happened. Keys, keys, lads. And that's the Pod Squad. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much, everybody.

Thank you, everybody. In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility,

and optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. But you lot are so bloody wonderful. That's not just financial support that you offer.

We get some nice things sent to you every once in a while. We're going to show a few nice bits of art we've had in the run up to the show. I'm going to remember to play the music this time as well. The worst part is, I have the right music and sent Mikey the wrong one. So you get this. It's not pretty good. Which is still good. Yeah.

It's jaunty. I think it's from the intro to a rules boss. We use it for rules plus, I think a little. But it was a nice flutty piece. But they are, if you remember. Yes. Anyway, never mind. Regardless.

Well, we begin with Jenny slash plushy labs. It's lovely handmade Billy Ray of Horace. What a bloody stunner. In his natural habitat. So toughy. And Harry Willie Whambs or Duxie. Oh, one, send us not one but two arts. Thank you.

Look at them, aren't they magnificent? Hang on, it says poo-y it. Hey, whoa! Hang on a second. What are you trying to pull? Get it off, it's foul. Hey. Dead I minis slash Simon, who made these wonderful figures many years back and now has

created a scene of them all outside of Snappies. I think that's, is that you on the right there, Ben, doing a big explosive shit after a Snappies. Hey, hey, there's at least one man with blonde hair and a beard, and I think that's Probably. Oh, that's right, of course. How could I forget? Yeah. And lastly, we have this one from David Lever, which we'll find a way to post us up online or something, because it's dense.

There's a lot going on in this one. There's a lot of details in that. And that's the art. That's it. That's it. Yay. That's all the culture you're going to get today. Because it's time for the first thing of the evening.

And it comes courtesy of one Michael Johnson. You're darn right. Hello, everybody. I have the honor and the horror of being the first thing for tonight's evening show. I thought I'd really bring out the big guns. You know, it's a big occasion, so I don't want to

come in half-assed with something. I'm going to get really, really fucking big with this one. Yeah. Get ready. Yes. Small. Monkey? John. D. Yeah. There he is. There he is.

He never gets old. It's still funny. Still funny. Sorry you traveled all the way from Australia for this, but... You sort of knew what you signed up for, right? Get ready for 15 minutes of monkey talk. So is everyone in here familiar?

Can I get some whoops? Okay, okay, very good. For anyone he doesn't know, it's quite simple. There's not much to him. He's small. He's monkey, and he's wearing John Deer overalls. You're all up to speed now. Thank you very much.

So sometimes things just kind of... stick in your brain and this is like a tiny monkey earworm or an air monkey if you will. John Deerworm? John Deerboh. Oh, well, do it. Bloody hell. That's fucking go. So he's been,

he's completely thrown me. Sorry. That was too good. He didn't do that earlier. No. About hours to think of that. So yes, he's been stuck in my brain for many, many years.

Going back to 2018, some of you may remember in my, birthday posseum tat. I got a lovely ASDA Kig with a scan of a phone with small monkey John Deere on it. Is that right? Is that what you want? Is that it? Are you sure?

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Perfect. Better than we could have ever imagined, yeah. Spot on. So thank you very much for the birthday tree, boys. And another little bit of backstory. This is a fun thing I found out

doing the research for this. We all know and love him as small monkey John Deere. But in Brazil, he goes by a different name. He goes by, that's not the right slide. There we go. WhatsApp Jr. I quite like, I think I might start calling him that myself.

Implies the existence of a WhatsApp scene. It does. Is there big monkey John, dude? But the question I have tonight is, where did this? I got a laser pointer. Where did this bloody photo? come from because I don't know it's like it's it's it's kind of an enchanting image it asks you know it poses a lot of questions but this monkey is keeping all the answers

very very close to his chest I don't want the answer close up please stay away um so just sorry can we can we change the slide no can we can we leave that slide on for the rest of the show yeah yeah enjoy it so despite this monkey playing muse for, it's going away now, you'll be glad to hear. An ocean of memes. Wow. It turns out, there's very little known about the man in the overalls himself.

As a quick aside, one thing I discovered on my journey was this thing called Milk Ape. This was a weird Twitter thing years ago, and it's a big spanning law. Small Monkey John Deer features as a character within that law. The Wikipedia

page has 86 pages of it. Bloody hell. quite a lot of the pages are dense. I want to know about Ratt Baby. Yeah, can we do a deep dive on Rat Baby? There's some good names in there. Bridge Pig. That's a good one. Yeah, we got, like, there is quite a lot of law, but sadly, still does not hold the answers

of where that came from. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Let's see. So, yes, back to the question at hand. Where did this monkey come from? The internet, as we all know, is an incredible fountain of knowledge. Like, you can just learn anything on there. And it's all true as well.

It's all true. It is all true. Oh, yeah, absolutely 100% true. Yeah. If you've got a question, there's a good chance some other random sad person on the internet answered that question for you in incredible detail many years ago.

I was hoping this would be one of those times, but the first port of call was the know-your-me-page for Small Monkey John Deere, and it's a per start. Oh, yeah. Uh-oh. The exact origin of the small monkey wearing John Deer overalls is currently unknown.

So I guess that I have to be the random sad person on the internet with too much time on their hands and get digging for the truth. The hero you mean. Yes, the absolute hero. Thank you. So while we don't have much to go on, what we do have on the Know Your Mem page is a link to the first time Small Monkey John Deer ever featured on the internet. Wow.

Or at least the first recorded instance of him appearing on the internet. It's a 10 second YouTube video and it's titled, you guessed it, Small Monkey John Deer. No way. So maybe there's some clues in there. Should we give it a watch and see what we can garner on? Yeah, let's do it. Need you go on? I do actually kind of love it.

I've watched that about 50 times. It's fucking great. Mystery sold. That's where he came from. Thank God. No, sadly, the video didn't really answer any questions. If anything, it just gave me more questions. The description has nothing in it.

This is a 13-year-old video as well, so it's getting quite on. on the YouTube channel, dead end. I tried messaging them, they didn't respond. Other people in the comments were also asking, where did you get this picture? He was ignoring them as well. So that's sadly a dead end. Right, back to him.

Yeah, we're back there, don't worry, we're safe now. I refuse, I refuse to believe that there's nothing more we can learn. This mystery has plagued me for years, eight years, or one-hole vidiates, if you want to get to. Do you want to get serious about it? Seriously. Thank you.

Thank you. So I've tried a lot in digging for this. I've reversed image searched the living hell out of this picture. I've gone through so many websites. And still, there's no answers. I can't find anything more until. One faithful day in January, I tried a different tactic. My girlfriend is in the audience,

and she will attest to the day where I spent 12 hours hunched over a laptop. feverishly going through many, many web pages. I think I've got it. I can find him today. I can do it. Mikey, come to bed. No, I'm looking at pictures of monkeys. Mikey, Mikey, please.

It's very serious. So the slightly different tactic was, why don't I find some similar pictures of monkeys that have a similar aura? And if I churn those into the Google image machine, maybe it'll kind of give me some leads and strings to pull on. I can see that sensible, yeah. Because, you know, like John Monkey, John Monkey?

John Monkey, small dear. There's going to be a monkey out there that can connect me back. Those monkeys are very similar, aren't they? One of the best. Eventually, surely, I'll find something that can lead me back to the origins. So, I craft the perfect Google search term. Did you click, I'm feeling lucky? Oh, hell yes.

And so I pointed that in the machine. I filtered the results before 2012 as well because that's when the YouTube video was uploaded so that's a good starting point and I looked through literally hundreds of monkey pictures this is one of my favorite images I came across in that search and I was like, where the hell did this come from?

I mean, it's a good monkey, but where did that come from? If you click through onto the source of the image, it's a news website and the headline for the article this is from reads, woman goes to court with monkey in bra. There's not too much to garner from it. I think she had, like, baby monkeys are so small that you have to regularly feed them.

Whoa. Whoa, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Not with that milk, please. Let's just, let's finish that sentence. Apparently, no one in the court realized she had a monkey until about an hour in and she whipped it out to give the monkey some milk.

So you can go to court with a monkey in your board. Amazing. But there was one picture. I gave me a little tingle deep inside. Oh, a monkey tingle. Oh, my God, they're getting smaller. We're getting there. So this isn't our monkey, obviously, but it is, I don't know, the aura is there.

I'm feeling a strong connection to this image. And if we place it next, fuck's sake. The detective work. Have you ever seen them in the same room? So, not our monkey. It's a different monkey, but it's, I don't know, it's taken with an old camera. Quality is kind of a bit nath. It's a small monkey.

I don't know. There's connections to be made there. So I go on to the source for the picture on the left there, and I find a treasure trove of untold proportions. This is... Oh, my God. Look at that website. Goodness me. Welcome to mom's at mom.com.

Your one-stop shop for all baby monkey needs, maybe. That is vintage internet. It's good. I can confirm this website is still updated on a regular basis. It's looked like this. I feel like I've had my identity stolen just looking at it. Now, this is a website, yes. Here's some selections of monkeys.

But one of my favorite... Why's one coming out of an egg? Sorry. That's where monkeys come from, right? That's not how that... I don't think... Is that how that works? Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. enough about monkeys maybe they do come out of the egg there that's where monkey that's a fact proof yeah so it's on the internet i need to rethink some things one of my favorite bits about this website is um when you go on the home page it auto plays a song so you've got some background music while looking at pictures of monkeys so i thought i bring that along while we skim through some monkey highlights so get ready oh this is a good one this is right there on the home page r i p and peace yeah that's in peace You go, that's the tiny little happy monkey.

Hiding in a tree. It's wearing clothes. We're getting closer. Is there a margar monkey there? No. This even smaller monkey. Wow. This is quite baffling, to be honest.

Christmas, 1991. What are you? I think my favourite of the lot is... You can count the pixels in this image. It's somewhere in there. I'm going to stop the music. Thank you. That's a photo of a blanket that just happens to have a bit of monkey.

Maybe. So that, I think that's my highlight of the website. Actually, no. Sorry. I tell a lie. This is the most badass monkey I've ever seen. That's a really cool monkey. This image is obviously the header image for the necessities and travel page.

on the website. All your monkey necessities. Pram. Yeah. Another favorite on the necessities and travel page is a little biker jacket that you can buy for your monkey. We're getting warmer, Mikey.

We are. We are. We are. Monkeys are wearing clothes. They're going to little jackets. It's getting good. And then on the website, on the menu, there is a photo gallery.

Oh. Maybe. Available baby. Sorry, no, carry on. Sorry. Sorry. The amount of stuff... Hello. You're only...

I'm just bringing... I'm in the market. I cannot... There is so much stuff I had to cut out of this for many reasons. There is so many avenues to this. You're getting the highlights here. So, let's have a look at some of the pictures on the photo gallery. There's a wealth of ones there.

But we've got monkeys in clothes. Okay, good start. Monkeys with weird borders around them. Oh, my God. Oh, my world. That looks kind of similar. And then... the smoking gun.

Oh. Oh. Pause. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yo. Yo.

A green border. Yeah. Magic. So after, I genuinely think that, well, I've been offhand searching for years,

but I think over the course of two months, when I found this, my heart stopped. Oh, my God. You're getting further closer. Yes. But sadly,

that was the closest we got. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. our monkey is sadly in another castle there he is but we do at least have some leads potentially to pull from from this website um things are starting to get desperate at this point first i spent hours trawling through the internet archive of marmaset mom.com literally 14 years worth of archives um and there's

at least 20 per year i downloaded every single one went through every image double checked i saw the same monkeys about 50 times and i can have Hand on heart promise. Sadly, that monkey has never graced that website, or at least it wasn't archives. Wow. Okay, okay. But, you know, I couldn't shake the feeling

that I was within reach of the monkey. If only there's a way to contact the owner of the website to ask them a question. Really? Oh, that's handy. At the bottom of every web page is this little message. We accept PayPal credit cards. Email me with any questions.

Click on the marmasette to email me. And I'm never going to say no to. clicking on our mammasette to email them. Of course, yeah. Of course. So, I prepare an email. Subject, monkey image. Hey, apologies for the unsolicited message,

but I was wondering if you are the person who took this photo. I'm so sorry to this person. 12.57 a.m. I didn't even know that was here. Come to bed, Michael, please. He's like, oh, I'll... There's the smoking gun. Hide my email address.

Hide their email address. Whoops. Literally, so like, I'm not kidding. We got back in the house midday that day. Right on the computer. And I was on the computer at morning, midnight. Jesus, we'reps. I'm so sorry.

And obviously, I sealed the deal with a, if none of this makes any sense to you, I'm sorry for bothering you. I sent several emails over many months. All of them were ignored. I wonder why. Well, the website does look pretty old. Maybe the email's not checked as often.

So I did some extra digging and I managed to find the website owner's Facebook account. At what point does this become a crime? I think now doing it on stage This is fine when it just exists at 1am on the couch Yeah It's a good thing we're not filming it So you'll be alright

It's fine, yeah, no one will ever see this It's fine I'll present with our comment One photo from the woman's Facebook account That's not it That would be amazing if it was I wish it was that one There we go

So I very quickly get off I send her a Facebook message with the exact same contents as the emails. And once again, can you believe it? She ignores me. How rude. So I've got more time to do more digging here. So I follow more leads because why not?

Because it's going to be there. It's definitely here. I managed to find a monkey breeder that this woman wants used to supply available baby monkeys. Available babies. And when I googled his name, I found two news articles about this man. He was arrested.

he wasn't arrested, he was ticketed for walking his lizard out in his lizards. Right, yeah, okay, buddy, sure. And I think in the article it says the lizard was wearing a pink top, which is quite cute. And I did Google the breed of lizard afterwards, and I shit you not, the lizard's that big. Wow. So please get this man off the streets. But sadly, I think even he was a dead end. Helpful, this is not related to our monkey.

So let's get back to him. the point. Okay. Oh no. Oh, there's another one is what, God, I did so much, so much research. I even got to the point where I found someone on Facebook who makes clothes for monkeys. I was like, maybe they're familiar with the small monkey John Deere costume. They were very helpful actually. I was expecting just to want and well, to be ignored like everything else. Yeah. But it's just, I know, sorry. I didn't make that. Appreciate the quick response. Thank you. That looks factory made. Yeah. Oh, interesting. I thought. they were, but didn't expect John Deere to make such tiny overalls. Thank you. I'll keep hunting.

For human babies, they would. They would. Yeah, they're going to just double down. For human babies. This is machine-made. For human babies, they would. They would. Machine-making for human babies. Yeah. For human babies, they would. Yeah. But at this point, I think, because I've definitely overstepped some boundaries and barriers, it's time. Oh, not the gray scale. I'm so sad monkey, John Deere. I'm so sorry. It's time to put a pause on the investigation. because I think I ran out of Leeds at this point. Unless. The website happened to have a public phone number listed that you could call.

Mikey. No one would be stupid enough to put their phone number on a website, right? No, surely not. No, surely not. Sadly, the call did not go through, and at that point, I thought it's time to stop. please for the love of God. So, unwilling to admit defeat, I came to a compromise, the best compromise I could think of.

What if I find the outfit that that monkey was wearing in that picture? Oh, I thought that would be a picture. The one time there's not a picture of small monkey John Deere there. So I scoured for hours and hours on eBay. I looked through so many toddler clothes, baby clothes, like all ages, all sizes, and I couldn't find the exact one. And I think it was about a month ago. I was like at the very end of the eBay listings.

And I find a teddy bear that's wearing John Deer overalls. There's some examples of the listings. Spoilers. So we've got similar ones, but not quite it. All too big. And then it's the exact top. For teddy bears, they would. For teddy bears, they would.

Not for humans. And sadly, I did order this a month ago. It's been since July 2nd. It's been stuck in a consolidation center in Illinois. They know. They know what they got. We're not letting this one sleep. We can't let us out of the country.

So despite the fact that I paid $50 in shipping for a bloody small pair of overalls, I sadly do not have them to show you today. But I do have, I have, the monkey that would have been wearing those very overalls. Could I please get a big cheer for Naked Monkey, John Deere? You did amazingly, Mikey. You really tried.

Fantastic. It's a bit annoying because I've still not got to the bottom of this, so I can't really stop. You've got to keep going. It took months to write this because every time I started writing, I'm like, oh, maybe if I just try this, I'll just do that instead. Maybe I'll finally find it. I think it's time to hang up the hat. So hopefully at some point in the next couple of weeks, I'll be able to marry the monkey and the clothes, and I'll have that to keep for myself, quite frankly. I want that.

Good. That's getting put right on the wall. And that is my thing. Mikey's thing, everyone. Well, go, Mikey. Get your tickets now for the top. Dog Stars. It's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear.

Go! Out there, it's kill or be killed. Jacob Allorty. There are people out there. They need our help. Josh Brolin. Shoot first. And inquire afterwards.

Margaret Quali. Okay, toughie. And Guy Pearce. Arm up. The Dog Stars, directed by Ridley Scott. In theaters, August 28th. Get tickets now. Fantastic work.

Excellent. It's time to move on. It is. Actually, though, just before we do, guys, I do need to bring something to your attention, you too, and everyone else as well. What's on? What's the problem? What is it? What's going on, Peter?

What's happening? Customer notice, this store is now closed. Thank you for your custom. Debenhams. Oh. We weren't going to go to debilums today. Wait, hang on. What's that?

What? Is that? Oh, no. What? A pigeon! No, it hasn't. It's happened again. Oh, God.

Breaking news, pigeon trapped inside former Debenham's store in Middlesbrough. It has happened again. Oh, good God. When will they learn? They will never learn. Debenhams is for humans. It is, yeah, for a human baby. For human baby, yeah.

Not bird babies. This has happening out. Of course, we could not do a show without checking in on. Even when Podius is gone, there will always be bird trapped in shop. They will. I can guarantee it. So here we are. This is according to the Northern Echo.

It's tagged under some pretty important categories. Nature, Middlesbrough, also Debenams. They clearly do enough stories about Debenhams that it has its own tag on their site. But before we get there, the source of that photo, actually, was not from the news story. It was from a Facebook post on Teesside Pigeon Group. Oh, hell yeah. And they had more photos, too. Would you like to see an even sadder picture?

Oh, God. Would I cut to the wide? Oh, no. Get him out. And now here's a close-up. No. Free him. So it seems that the people on Facebook were the first ones to spot this T-side Pigeon group.

They said, hello, I have noticed a bird trapped inside the shop window in the former Debenham store in Middlesport Town Center, one Newport Road, TS10, 1-L-E. Fortunately, though, groups like this, you can trust them to spring into action. Yes. superheroes, namely Laura Birdy Panda Hewitt, who, knowing that there was a local bird in need, said, I have paid for the property deeds, which is slightly misleading. I thought she'd sunk £800,000 pounds on a Debenhams to release the pigeon. What she's done is like a lookup to find out who owns the store, get the keys, keys, keys. And, but the story seemingly comes to a quick, conclusion here. I have the bird.

Yes. Yes. Now it's just trapped somewhere else. And if there was any doubt, though, about her credentials as a bird caregiver, do not worry. It appears that sometimes the pigeons look after their own because apparently this is what Laura looks like. Wow. Incredible dexterity to use a phone. However, this is not where the story ends. Eagle-eyed or pigeon-eyed amongst you will have noticed that the posts we've just seen were posted on February, in February

2026, whereas the news story, April 2026. How strange. And that is because another Facebook post on Darlington Bird Rescue, also in April 2026, we are aware of the bird trapped again in the old Debenham's building. This also was first sort of broken. as a story on Facebook

again this is Middlesbrough alert the Facebook group and they posted initially something saying anyone know who can get this pigeon out of Debenams please

poor little fat lad seems stuck he's having a moment of crisis there's no need for that he just wants some good deals on homeware so

There was also a post on Teesside Asian community on Facebook, which says, I have noticed pigeon activity in the former Debenham store's worst horror film ever. Anyway, here's a photo attached to that Northern Echo article we saw at the beginning. There he is. That's nice, isn't he? Looking proud. And amusingly, the Echo also did another post on social media

with the slightly dramatic wording of calls for release of pigeon. like it's fucking Nelson Mandela. Free him! And would you like to see the worst photograph of a pigeon ever taken by a human being in history? Two photos in the article, that one and this one.

Spot the pigeon, where is it? Brilliant. I've seen better photos of Yeties. That is informative. Yeah. Now, ultimately there was a prompt ending to this story too. This note from VizTech

they don't hold the keys for the shop but they do look after the alarm system and therefore had contact information for the owner they said that they'd been informed the pigeon would soon be released however the pigeon did have to wait a few days to get out as evidenced by this actual photo posted on Facebook this is the same pigeon

fucking livid the side eye 29th of April but I'm happy to say both birds back to back they were released But I think we have found the final boss of trapped birds This deference Surely that's never going to happen again

Thank you very much everyone That is the story Thank you so much Peter You're welcome but you're not done yet That wasn't even my thing We just thought you needed to know Keeping you updated Yeah

So instead I'd like you all to stay as calm as you can For The Polly-Eat The Colini 2 presents Poddiots present Podiatts Presents the Poddiots present Podietts Pop quiz

Now this is of course in true poddy it's style It's for Mikey and Ben to play along and answer some questions But we would like you all if you would like to play along at home in this room So there'll be some rules coming up here But we're going to do it in teams The larger the teams the better because the fewer the teams the easier it's going to be But we'll get to that Anyone paying attention to that?

I don't think anyone's looks at the pine glass I'm trying to ignore it. It's disgusting. Fucking did. So if you wish to play along, no pressure to play along if you don't want to quiz along with us. But if you would like to, we will be playing in teams wherever possible. If you came as a couple, at least play in a couple. If you came in a threesome, lucky you play in your threesome.

Group of friends, play along. If you came on your own, you're welcome to quiz on your own if you like. But if you want to be really brave and speak to the person next to you and maybe buddy up with them. your knowledge. Pool your knowledge. It will be an advantage. Don't go, don't look yet, but there will be pen of paper under your seats. But the last rule is we don't have time for hilarious team names.

I just want someone's name from the team on the top just to identify your sheet. This isn't a comedy show. It's not a comedy show. It's just all be serious, please. So, if you wish to play along, work out amongst yourselves your nearest people who you're going to be in a team with and grab one sheet and one pen from under the seat for your team. That's all you need. You've got about a minute.

Get yourselves ready. Three, two, one. There we go. Okay, I hope you're all in a team. I hope your team has one card and one pen and someone's name at the top. There will be five questions on general podage. That's poddy, it's general knowledge. Five questions on what I call the multimedia round.

And that's it. We don't have time for a big quiz here. It's a 10 question total. So you will have space on your little card for 10 questions, I assure you. Are we all ready? Is everyone, no one's got a problem? We're ready to go? Yeah.

There's even a shit prize. Ooh. So General Podage, five questions. Time to go with this. Firstly, Mikey, actually, I need to take these notes. Oh, my God. So, which of these British celebrities has? not appeared as a ghost

in a potty at thumbnail on YouTube. Do you ever get the feeling that we were a bit too niche? Nah. Spot on. Wait till you see the names, Mikey. A, Bruce Forsy. Wow. B. Barry Chuckle or C. John Fisgogunliff.

A. B. or C. Who was not a ghost in a potty at's thumb now? All right. Okay. Okay. Don't look at my answers. Don't look at my answers. Question two. Noel Edmonds spent two years attempting to sue which of the UK's big four bank groups.

This is the driest question in the quiz. A, a bit of bank humor for you. A, Barclays, B, H.SBC. C, Lloyd's, or D, Nat West? Stab in the dark, isn't it? I think that one. A, B, C, or D? Question three.

Right. Context. The intro of Podiat's episode 46 Grandma's Nacho hat features the one and only mention of an obscure VCU character called Marlene.

Yeah. Significant only for a major piece of Vidyat's Law that was ascribed to her by Michael Johnson. Yeah, sure. Yeah. What was it? A. That she had killed Kevin

since the pre-eastern. episode of Poddiots. B, that she created the original recipe for the official worst games ever meal, handed down to us, or C, that she was truly the person in charge of the Yogscast fridge and at Dave on Twitter was merely relaying our drinks orders to her. So is it, she killed Kevin, she created the worst games ever meal, or she was the real one pulling the strings for the Yogscast drinks? I definitely know the answer to this.

Marlene. No one knows who Marlene is. I definitely do. Yes. Question four. Four of five for General Podage. In episode one four five, Ben showed us several revolting dishes linked to past U.S. presidents. The episode title comes from a recipe once enjoyed by Richard Nixon and his family known as Tricky Dicks What.

It's two words. Tricy Dicks. Blank blank. Ooh. Spelling doesn't... No, you're right. Spelling does not matter. Spelling does not matter here.

And question five. In Poddiot's episode 28, Michael Johnson doxed... It's quite Michael heavy this... Yes. Michael doxed his old RE teacher, but, after a subsequent play-on words by Ben Potter,

what delicious-sounding version of that teacher's name did Ben come up with? Was it? Reverend John Fudge Reverend Nigel Pudding Reverend Ian Waffle or Reverend Colin Fondent

Or E, Reverend Richard Muffin Oh my God F, Reverend Dennis Trickel G, Reverend Glenn Toffee Or H. Reverend Simon Crumbull. Very good. You had a lot of fun. Oh God! I, Reverend Isambard Sainsbury's Taste the Difference, Coffee and Walnut, Cape.

I've got a good feeling about that one. It's definitely that one. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, or I. You just wanted to show off how far you knew you were A-B-C's, didn't you? That is the end of General Podage. Five more questions on multimedia now. That is a representation of Multimedes. All their media.

All that medias. Yeah. Question one. What repeated word is missing from this edited version of Dave Benson Phillips? In fact, I've got more context here. On the 25th of April 2020, Dave Benson Phillips decided to un-leave himself out of it by directly adding Vidiates official on Twitter. The tweet contained a video of him playing a song on his guitar and was captioned,

something to do at the weekend. But the question is, what one repeated word is missing from this edited version? Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. You've made this so much worse. We really should have left him out of it. Everybody.

Brilliant. Amazing. Does anyone need that again? All right, one more. Everybody. Everybody Everybody Dave, stop, please

Everybody Absolute Everybody Dave Dave Big one It goes on so long Question

I think seven Oh sorry Dave Not no no Not sorry question seven what is it what is it

zoomed in image of something poddiet's related what is it write down what you think it is Mikey do you want to I don't think even have a closer look's gonna help I'm having a good old guess

that that one you're not looking at my answers what is it what is it though what is it what is it question eight let's have a little

listen just to this at first good not noise. This sound comes from Ben's cassette tape. Rosie and Jim, it's on the desk today. It's on the desk. It's down there. Rosie and Jim and the tickle monster.

But what object is Humpty Dumpty reacting to sitting on? One more time? Thank you. Yeah. What object is Humpty Dumpty sitting on before making that noise? Okay, question nine. What is it? What on earth is that?

What is it? It's poddy, it's related. What is it? What is it? Easy. I'm going to win this prize, you know. Yeah, you got this down. Yeah.

He's satisfied. It's going to be embarrassing when I go home with the prize. Yeah. Okay, and question 10, your final question. Which of these? In December 2019, in December 2019, Michael Johnson's stress test did a pair of shreddies,

fart-proof underpants. But which of these is a bona fide Michael Johnson fart? Go on. Is it fart A? Is it fart B? Or is it fart C? Oh.

Oh, that's a biggie. And bonus question. Did the Clooney two realize what they were signing up for? I don't think so. I'm very pleased you saved this question for the evening show. Yeah. My parents were here for the first one.

Yes, they were. Yeah. Aren't we proud? Do you want to hear them all again? Yeah. Fart A. Fart B. Oh, Fart C.

I feel like if you play those in the right sequence, you could make a song. You could make a song. Yeah. Axel. Everybody had their dinner before coming out, right? Yeah. We're not putting anyone off, though. Okay.

That's your final question. So it's time for the answers. Please swap your sheets with another team. If someone else, if another team hasn't swapped, let them swap again with you. It doesn't matter if you swap twice. As long as you end up with a separate card. Everybody swap.

Okay, have we all swapped? Has anyone not swapped their card? Okay, good, good, good. Answers, here we go. So which of these British... celebrities has not appeared as a ghost in a pottyed thumbnail on YouTube. Ben, what did you put?

Or do you want to give me Mikey's answer? Mikey put B, Barry Chuckle. And Ben, you put A, Bruce Forsyth. Well, unfortunately, you're both wrong. Oh, God, how embarrassing. I know. I swear he was in one. Well, he is famously dead, but he's not...

But we did... Bruce Forsyth was the one where it said, Ghost of Bruce Forsyth, haunting theatres, saying nice to see you to see you nice. That was it, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Number two. Noel Edmund spent two years attempting to sue.

What did Mikey put? He put D. Nat West. And Ben also put the same. The answer is, Leloyds. Oh. Who'd have known that? Not me. Question three. What law was ascribed to Marlene?

I'm very curious to learn what I said. You said A, she killed Kevin between episodes 45 and 46. And Ben put down B, she created the original recipe for the official worst games ever meal. Mikey, you've remembered correctly. Yes. Kevin, canonically dead. Since episode 46.

Who started the show? He's the ghost. Nice to see you. To see you nice. Shut up, Kevin, you're dead. Yeah. Here's where spelling doesn't count. The answer to question.

for as long as people have vaguely put well what have we got we got tricky dick's big mess you've got tricky dick's watery gate that's good I like that I'll give you a bonus point no you don't get to do that

but the correct answer spelling aside is hamboose revolting hamboose question five Ben, what did Mikey put for me? Michael knows the name of it.

Mikey, what did Ben put? Ben put C. Reverend Ian Waffle. I hope everyone got Reverend Ian Waffle. His surname was Woff. Woff, yeah, Mr. Woff. Mr. Woff.

He fought once in someone's class and 20 years later it's still getting talked about. It's bad. A legend. Let's find out. Now the missing word in Dave Benson's song, I'm sure you two will have got this right, so I won't ask you what you put.

The answer is, of course... Everybody salsa, everybody salsa, everybody salsa, everybody salsa, everybody salsa, everybody salsa, everybody salsa, everybody salsa, everybody salsa, everybody salsa, everybody salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa, you're fucking mad, aren't you? You proper up your tits, aren't? Yeah. Question, I think seven now are we on? What is it?

Any guesses on the table? I've got moth. Ben, we got David Lynch in mud. Oh, now I'm going to be open to multiple key words here. The full correct answer is, Sycamore Gap on someone's driveway mud, soil, what I will accept though

so please listen carefully If anyone just put Sycamore Gap Even if there's nothing else That's a point If they didn't specify Sycamore Gap But said it's some kind of mark or stain That looks like a tree That's enough

Even if they didn't say driveway or soil or water And I will also Just because it's a wild card Accept any reference even if there's nothing else in there to David Lynch. That's the only bit of that story. All I could remember was the man

who looked like David Lynch. If anyone just wrote David, this is David Lynch. You get the point. Is it not David Lynch, though? Well done, Ben. That's David Lynch. Okay.

Okay, question eight, I think. What was this noise? Here we go. there it is let's find out let's just get the answer oh I feel like I really view confident

I don't want to reveal it if you know for sure Mikey Mikey guessed that Humpty Dumpty sat on a toblaron I'm feeling good about I'm not entirely sure

I mean you would say if you said Ben you put Spider Oh spider Okay neither are correct Let's see if anyone got it In a somewhat adult turn

for a road Rosie and Jim's story. Rosie suggests Humpty Dumpty sit on a banana. Oh, God. Fair enough. That's on a banana.

What? Someone in the fucking BBC offices have fun with this. Oh. That wasn't even me. That was the recording. There we go. Banana is the only correct answer there.

Question nine. What is it? Ben, what did Mikey put? The first human. Oh, you're close, but it's not right. It's not enough. Is Michael Jugson the right answer? It's not the correct answer.

Damn it. First, I'll reveal the answer visually. There we go. Now, you did not have to put stenon kosaurus. That is not the answer. I mean, if you put that, you win the quiz. I will accept anything like dino-human, human dinosaur,

dynosapian, anthropomorphic dinosaur. It must simply combine dinosaur and human in some way. If they just put dinosaur, it's not enough. What if you put top-trump, yes, top-trump's, I will also accept top-champs, yeah. Well done, good, yes.

Yes, good, top work, top answer, top. I'm glad you're paying attention. Someone really wants the prize. Top-trump's dinosaur is, And the final question, which of these are genuine Michael Johnson fart? Let's hear them all again. One, two.

That's a powerful one. Jesus. Ben, what did Mikey put? Michael Johnson identified A as his far. Okay, and vice versa. And Ben also identified A as the fart. The correct answer was, Fart A. Yes.

Hey! I may not remember much of idiots, but by God do I know my farts. So please add up the scores and hand them back to the person they belong to. I'll give you a few seconds. Very good effort, Ben. Very good effort. Oh, we did the same. We did all right. We did all right.

Yes, yes. Okay. Has anyone not got their card back? No. Okay, good. Ben. Yes. Excuse me.

Excuse me Quiet on the balcony, please One of our crew is a teacher by train Is I have to bring her in Yes, so Ben what did you get? How many did you score? I scored a very impressive

Four out of ten. Well done. Well done. Thank you very much. Mikey, what did you score? I also scored a modest four out of ten. Thank you, thank you. Fantastic.

So, did anyone get ten? No, I didn't expect it. Did anyone get? Nine. Eight. Oh. I have a tiebreaker question. So is it two teams?

One there. One down here. No one else got, what have we just said? Eight. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

So I want you to write down a numerical guess for this question and whoever is closest. Now, believe me, it's going to be, don't worry if you're completely not even in the right ballpark because it's a ridiculous thing to it.

But as of 10pm last night when I wrote this tie-breaking question, how many total views had the Vidyat's YouTube channel clocked in its lifetime? If you get one view less than what it says on here, I'll be so upset.

No price for you. So I'll give you a moment. Have a little guess. I have a think. Memory cards alone probably broke 10 million. Yeah, it's in the nine figures. Yeah. Both got an answer.

One second, they're still writing. If you want to get serious about this. Yes. You got it. Pens down. People around them make sure they're not correcting their answer. So, can I have this answer here out loud, please? 3,500,000.

Okay. And up there? Well, someone's at least in the right order of magnitude, but it's a lot more than you guessed. Oh, look at us. Memory cards. The answer is 9,100. Wow, done.

The prize. Ooh. What you got in your bag, Peter? It's in a bag. Now, this is a big deal. It had to be a big prize. And I can say, with Glee, that at 20 quid a gram and 100 grams per pack,

you are the now proud owners of a 2,000. £1,000 prize. A hundred grams. Come up, collect your prize. You're going to get your prize. They're even vegan and gluten-free, so... I'm going to move back around to my chair.

Peter, thank you so much for your thing. Great job. Absolutely wonderful, Peter. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. It feels good. It feels good. Oh, God. Everyone hear that? What's happened?

What's that noise? Hello? Is there been some sort of mistake? What? Oh, bloby. Oh. I'm assuming blobby's here to cause chaos, but maybe is a little short-sighted. And so is being guided.

He has some sort of carer. To cause, to maybe cause a bit of chaos. Oh, come and in a very... Oh, okay. Blobby's on their own now. So chaotic. This is very PG chaos. Wow.

Bloby, wow. Aren't you supposed to be, yeah. Aren't you supposed to be smashing things up? Blobby. Yeah, be careful their blobsder. Oh, whoa. Oh, oh, oh. Christ, how much? You're good.

You're good, Ploby. Oh, go. It's right. He's dancing at us. No, no. No. No, no. Blobby.

Lobby, leave. Blobby. Yeah. There's a lot of expensive equipment, Blobby. If you could kindly exit stage at, please don't force. Your carrie is there now.

Uh. There we go. Blobby. Mr. Blobby, everyone. Mr. Blobby. Wow, that was just as chaotic and fast-paced as I expected. Kind of weirdly nauseating.

I got gently jabbed at. I've never had that before. I got flapped. I got like blobby fluff all over me. Oh, no. I think now would be a fantastic time maybe for us to take a little breather and catch our breaths

We'll be back in 15 minutes for the second half of Poddiots presents Poddiet. We will. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you. We will be back shortly. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Across Canada in a Volvo. Destination, Vancouver, turn left to leave. Travel west through. Approaching. Continue toward. You've arrived. Adventure and Comfort with Volvo Whether you prefer gas

Plugin hybrid or fully electric There's a Volvo for everyone Learn more at VolvoCars.Ca We're back Now we get to all scrape our chairs in together Scrave That's a good one Yeah

Did everyone Has everyone had a wee Did you have a try? Did you have a try Everyone? Have you done your grunts Is that? Oh! Sorry. Judging by that response, yes.

They have. Terrible. Welcome to the second part of Podiatts presents Poddits. Thank you for coming back. We appreciate it. There was a chance that some of you may have thought, well, that was awful. We got to go. I came here from Australia.

I'm going home. When's the next flight? Get me out of here? Well, I believe, Peter, we're going straight into some questions that you guys have submitted in the lovely question box. We've both. I say both. Both. We've all three of it.

I can't see him. Hi. It's an object permanence thing. I couldn't see him. So he wasn't real. Yeah, he is there. All three of us have brought two questions. Thank you very much for submitting them.

Yeah. Who would like to start? I would like you. You're all looking at me. So I'll start. I'm here. Yes. Hi.

He's real. We have a question from Dane or Daino, Dane maybe. What's the weirdest part of vidiates slash poddietz you've had to explain to a friend or family member. It's true because it's all inherently quite tricky to explain. I think actually I had my worst bit of videts explaining just early in the week. I saw my girlfriend's parents and they're like,

oh, how are you getting ready for the show? What are you going to do? And I had to feverishly try and explain small monkey John Deere. It's quite simple really. I just, yeah, I died at that moment. It's like, oh, God. I think in a way, the hardest thing is explaining just the concept broadly. It's not even like specific stuff.

I mean, obviously, there's some really specific stuff that's impossible to explain to anyone. But, I mean, for one thing, our grandparents, they don't even understand the medium of YouTube or internet. You have to say, it's like the television, but on the internet. Yes. But then even when you get past that hurdle, like my parents, they understand what you, is. But I was recently at my parents' house and they had someone there who they'd not seen in a little while and they were talking talking about me like I wasn't in the room, but that's fine. That's what parents do, right? And their friends said, oh yeah, and how are the kids? How's

everyone getting on? And my mum said, without doxing anyone. She was like, oh yeah, sister, she's still doing her medic job. Brother still teaching, yeah. Peter. Oh, gosh. And I like to think that it was like, how do I explain this? But it sounded a bit like, just for shame. It is difficult to know where to start. Yeah, it is. I was recently at a family member's 70th birthday party, and he was doing the rounds, he was going around the tables.

He was like, oh, what are you up to? What are you doing these days? It was being very polite, and he meant very well. Normally, I just tell people I'm a video editor because that is just the simplest thing. Yeah. If they ask a follow-up question, oh, were you editing videos about?

I sort of go, video games. They're like, oh. Or they go, oh. And it's normally the former. But I think the last time I spoke to this guy, I was at university doing radio production. I was in the middle of a project where I was like interviewing charity workers in dangerous situations overseas. And it's like, this, what a bright future. What a good player.

This boy has. And I could tell, I could see the light leaving. his eyes as I tried to talk him through streaming. Right. So there's this thing called Benxtee. Every Wednesday, grimace fights a bear. And he's like, I don't care. It's my birthday. You can go now. It's impossible to explain. But clearly, it's found an audience.

And that's the most important thing. Thank you. We have a question here that says, Mikey cat rap when The second I can figure out one word that rhymes with cat I'll have it tied up

in a hat Matt Matt Shat That means Next week you'll have The Ratt of the Century It's happening next week

Very good Can't wait Can't wait This is a controversial one But it's not necessarily Asked in With a negative slant I think it's just

inviting a conversation Right Let's settle this in Newcastle is Greg's mid. Oh. There was at least one yes, but I think the reaction from most people in the room speaks volumes. Yeah. How dare you?

Greg's is outstanding. Oh, yes. It is excellent. And that's all I have to say. Right. Yeah. I mean, the Gregs in the center of Newcastle is open like late in the night on weekend. It has a bouncer.

It has a bouncer outside. I did see that bouncer chase someone once at 2 a.m. I don't know why. What could they possibly have stolen? How? How? I don't know. But I did see him chase someone.

Oh, that's good. Since I moved down south, I was worried I'd miss out on my greggs, but I just happened to move in somewhere around the corner from a Greg's outlet. Outland. Wow. It's magic. Four sausage rolls for two quid. Let's go.

Nice. Amazing. That's dangerous that. Yeah, it is. Mikey, have you got another question? I do. Hi, boys. If I was to theoretically create a vidiates slash poddiet's time capsule to be opened in 10 years time, what six objects to each would you include? Any video MP3 pile will fit on its own individual USB. Quick fire answers allowed. Could we put Billy in there?

Could we put Billy in there? No, he's got a job to do. He will never retire. Well, it's going to be unpleasant for whoever opens it, an extra 50s worth of garlic show. That will be very interesting to see in 10 years. Yeah. I'd be interested to see what happens to the stress sausage after 10 years sealed in a container. I imagine it would be identical. Probably. Yeah.

Can it perish? I don't know. Similar vein to that. I feel like, you know, people save a slice of wedding cake in their freezes from their wedding. Like the small monkey John Deere face slice and just put it in there because I feel like those Astor cakes aren't real. It's going to be an experiment. Will it decompose? Probably not.

No. It would last. Can we do screen-worn shreddies? Do you still have them? Screen-worn shreddies? I do still have the shreddies. Every morning when I'm choosing a pair of underpants. Not today.

I'm feeling confident today. Is it possible the people from the forums would try and find the time capture? Maybe I should just sell them on the forum. The forums. Yeah. What else? Perhaps a live sea-goth. Oh my god

Bird stuck in time capsule Jesus Yeah That's I think we did five I did two I know I didn't I haven't done one more I'm desperately trying to think of something

Go on We'll take all the time Mikey's cat wrap LP Yes Yeah do like a phantom drop Whoever opens that time capsule Get the cat wrap There he go

Brilliant fantastic that's it What a shit time capsule It's rubbish in it It's basically Basically a sort of toxic waste, isn't it? Awful. Well, speaking sort of of

toxic waste, we've got a question here about natural disasters. Oh! I dodged a wildfire in Spain to get here. Woo! Blimey. Seriously hot stuff.

What's the biggest natural disaster that you would risk for poddietz? Signed by David. David, thank you for the question. Thanks for getting here. Glad you're safe. First, well, we should probably say, you shouldn't risk any natural disasters.

If you should stay safe. If you want to get serious about this. If you want to get serious about this. If you want to get serious about this. Everyone stay safe. Don't risk natural disasters. No. Having said that, probably a typhoon.

There is no natural disaster that would keep me away. See, that's possibly the right answer. You know, remember in SimCity 2000 where you could get aliens coming in to destroy your town. I'd still, I would, in the rule.

of the Ogg's cast officers I'd still be there, God damn it. I mean, some would say that Poddiette is a natural disaster. Yes. It can survive itself. There's certainly some biohazards involved, I think. Absolutely.

The final question comes from Wonder Mike who says, what does it feel like to be celebrities to this niche group of weirdos? Surreal. Very flattering. Really, very nice.

kind of sweaty as well. Yeah. No, it's amazing. Yeah. To have a gathering like this of so many like-minded people in the same place is, is, I can't put it into words. It's really lovely. It feels like the, the fulfilling end to the, to a story we didn't even know we were

started in eight years ago. And to even be like more humble about it and take the celebrity aspect out of it in air quotes. Even like just, for example, yesterday on Discord, I think the boys went out for dinner. The mods. The mods went out for dinner and posted a photo. And when that came through, I saw that. And I was like, how nice is that that that's just like three guys who would never have met each other, if not for vidiots, polyets, and obviously other things in the VCU.

And to know that a community exists, whether or not you like us or care about us. It's just nice to see people who are like-minded and are having a lovely time and making friends and making friends. stuff and that's really nice. Yeah. It's so rare to find like, you know, I'm sure people in the room of tried making content on the internet, we've been doing it for bloody ever. It's hard to find a following,

but then to find a following of people who not only stick around for like seven years after the YouTube channel ends, but also face natural disasters to come see us. Come from Australia. It is just an absolute delight and privilege, and we've been so lucky to be able to do this for so long. And it is, of course, all thanks to it. Yes, thank you, all of you.

Give yourselves a round of applause. Thank you so much. So I think that was our whistle-stop tour of the, just a handful of questions. Thank you, everybody who submitted questions. Really appreciated. Now, however, it's time for something a little bit special. Oh.

A while ago, you may remember that he asked us to leave him out of it. And so, we've got something rather exciting to share with you. we have. Please, ladies and gentlemen, it's Dave Benson Phillips. Nice one. Cheers, Dave. Thank you for coming, Dave.

Now, we did actually ask Dave Benson Phillips how much his appearance fee would be and he didn't reply. He's very much left himself out of it now. He has intensely. Could have been a nice payday. Could have got some juggling balls to teach a class of 12.

I was going to say, if anyone wants his Nando's black card, it's just in the... It's going spare. No, we do, I mean, that was obviously a really special surprise. We pulled out all the stops for that one. That is custom printed. Weirdly, they don't sell it.

If there's anybody here who watches my streams where I had to very quickly answer a phone call a couple of weeks ago. And I said, I'm really sorry, this is actually very important. This is very important. It was the Dave Benson Phillips Cardboard Cutout Shop calling to double check that is this right?

Is this right? Are you sure? Yes, it is right, actually. Now, that's not the only surprise we have for you. No, it's not. Podiat, sorry, rather, vidiates scholars may have noticed, and we'll talk about this more in a minute. Yeah.

In the first ever video, when we arrive on the sofa, we're wearing our jackets for some reason. And that's because there was initially planned a different first video on the channel and for reasons we will explain in a minute we never released it and we've brought it along we have

this has never been seen before it was on a dusty hard drive deep in my cupboards I remembered it about a few weeks ago so this would be a good thing to wheel out so I think this probably won't leave the room so this is a very exclusive little viewing and if you really do know your

videoes and affiliated companies and brands, you may even recognize another familiar face in this video. Ooh. Should we give it a while? Yeah, let's queue up. Let's do it. Oh my God. What? Uh, Ben, look at this.

Is Billy okay? No, no, seriously, Ben, look. What are you going on about? Oh, what? What? You still have that game? What? I told you to bin it.

I mean, yeah, I would. I was going to. We usually do, so I was going to do it. So what was it? Look around you. Horrible, horrible, evil desolate wasteland. Horrible, horrible evil game. I know it looks horrible, but I'm sure, like,

I'm sure if we just go around the corner, there'll be a weather spoons, there's always a weather spoons, and we can just go in and inquire... Uh-huh. Then should we go and try and out what we are, is throwing blame or... Hey, Dix! Excuse me? Yeah, could you lower your fucking tone please? This one's quite impressionable.

Sorry, Billy. Sorry, geez. Apologies, gentlemen and walrus. For his I, who brought you here. Oh, that's nice. I'm parched. That's nice. What's that? He says he's brought his beer. He's brought his beer.

He's brought his beer. Oh, thanks, man. I said no such thing. What? What? Hello? What? I said... We can't hear you.

What? God, I bet he's bold. Look at that hat. Yeah. God, what a fucking egg boy. Like a billion boy. Like a real billion boy. Like an eight ball.

Without an eight ball. Yeah. Just a round. Yeah. Well, I mean, can you just come closer? Well, why don't you come to us? Let's just meet in the middle. Where was I?

Oh yes. You're probably wondering why I brought you both here. You see, I'm from the future. This is your. future and as you can tell the world has ended without the regular vetting of terrible video games a title was unearthed the worst game ever that was so bad so utterly terrible that the consequences were devastating mother of God the resulting tragedy saw panic in the streets currencies collapse nations crumble Fredos go up by a

Holy shit. Nuclear war erupts. And here we are. Oh, nice, okay, so why'd you bring us here, you sadist? So, what the fuck is this? The game that ended the world. Oh God, what? I don't want, is it even safe to hold? God, I just... Jeez!

Oh, oh God no, but the case will keep you safe for now. Just keep it close. because inside is the worst game ever. Hope that one day you are worthy enough of opening up that case and finding out what the worst game ever is and warning the world about it. I hope that this little glimpse into the future has helped you solidify your efforts because you've done good work with worst games ever and I need that to continue. Uh, okay. I know it's all spooky and whatnot, but here's the deal. You continue on doing your duties and I'll ensure a lot of you'll ensure a lot of you.

and I'll ensure a long and healthy life for little Billy Ray Walrus there. Right, and what if we don't? Then he dies. Billy? Speak to me. Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy!

Oh my gosh, are you alright? You monster! Right, I think I've made my point, so uh... Bye-bye now. Off you fuck. Wait, hang on, what you do? No, no. We don't even know what game's actually in here? What is it?

What's your name? Who are you? Who are you? You did it. You did it, Jeremiah, the bandito El Futurissimo. You saved the world. Bullocks have sent them back to the wrong place. Yeah, there'll be fine.

We have it. So, some licensed music at the end there. That was the only reason why I didn't know. It's not true. No, that's not true. That was pretty much ready to go, but there was a major reason, wasn't there? Jules Gill, for those who didn't, who don't know him,

he was a colleague of ours and friend at What Culture. but at the time we had an interesting relationship going on with what culture having just left them to go elsewhere. And although Jules was very kind and gracious to say he would love to play this silly character, after it had all been made, we realised the Watt Culture Management might not be that happy that he is sort of involved in and therefore sort of endorsing a new venture that we have left to go and begin. So that was kind of the reason it was for Jules really that we decided. And with his blessing to maybe not release it. I think we took a three-hour lunch break that day to go film that.

Did we still working there? I thought Jules just came out to shoot it. I thought we'd left by that point. No, I think it wasn't at the office. Oh, it was something we went out and filmed. Oh, never mind. But yeah, I'm very glad it got to see. I get it's time to shine here.

It's a good and it's really good. So as you can tell by the context there, seemingly, Jules was going to be the portal goblin. If that video had gone out, then that's what the story was. would have been but uh Jeremiah Jeremiah sorry and then much and then down the line much later on we clearly decided that the last minute can we get Dave and then of course we did get a video from Dave didn't we yeah and it was an all

timer it was oh yes yeah he was sent a script wasn't he a specific instructions what was in his language like pantomime oh yeah yeah sorry staged her I said what did language did we wrote it in English. That would explain a lot, actually. No, we used a reference point that we knew he will nail this. Yes. Like pantomime villain laugh.

Yeah. And what did we get? Well, we wrote Maha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, and of course we got... Ah, ha. He also shot on a wall with a stack of DVDs in the shot. That wasn't in the script, was it? That wasn't in the script, no.

Worse of all, though, he burned into the video. We did not ask for this. It's the only copy of the video we had. When he starts speaking on screen, it says Idris Elber underneath. So he's just gone into business for himself and just come up with a joke that he thinks he's, but utterly useless to us. So we had to cut around that. Cropp it. Crop it off.

And then he told us to leave him out of it. And I think that really is why we haven't. Because if he hadn't said that, we're like, all right, game on, Dave. Yeah. And now he's here. He's really here. Excellent. So there's a little exclusive video for you.

that was due to start off video. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. I believe, Ben. Yeah. It's your time to give us your thing. It's time for my thing.

May I have the clickery do-du. Oh, yes, you may. Thank you very much. Are we on? That's it. That's it. It's up there. Excellent.

Have any of you heard of satirical news website, The Onion? Oh! I think a few, yeah. It's time for... I've closed the... Whoa!

It's loading. It's loading. It's to... Fuck sick. Hang on. This is not, not the onion. It's amazing that this button managed to just do that. Completely.

What have you got this map to? Far too much power. Just do whatever this button, do that. There we go. Now, I was a little worried. You guys had multimedia aspects to yours, but I think you'll find that my potentially rather dry thing is made up for by.

that. Wow. There we go. My favorite bit is where it says PNG tree all over that. Yes, it does. Yeah, those are premium onions and I wasn't willing to pay for them.

Right. That's fine. So I have brought along five news stories. Some of them may be from satirical fake website. The Onion. No, the website is real.

The news on it is fake. And some may be from the Reddit, the subreddit, not the onion. I may have fiddled with the Headlines a little. We're going to go through them story by story so you can get acquainted

and then one by one we will guess if it is real or if it is anew. Okay. So first headline. Let me get my notes ready. Here we go. The robot uprising has begun and children are their first targets.

Oh good. Right. Are you farting too much? No. Let's have a talk about how much you're farting. I'd rather not. Cost cutting efforts. record number of mimes out of work.

Oh no. Cost cutting. We're spending too much on mimes. Is there ever a time in history and mimes have been over-employed? It's quite a niche in this week. Enemy lesbian nuns quit convent and marry each other.

Oh, hell yeah. Lovely. And finally, Homicidal dogs? How home computing can offer protection. What? So there we go, those are our headlines. Got some head scratches.

Okay. Right. Are we ready? Yeah. First headline again, the robot uprising has begun and children are their first targets. Do you think this is real? Or do you think it's onion? Onion.

Real, I think. Yeah? I think that's real. I've seen videos. I say it's time to unleash the robots. Get the children done. Okay. Reel'em squeelers!

The real headline is, Humanoid Robot in Clownwig, Roundhouse Kicks Child in China. If you're having it, party! I have seen this video. To offset its aging workforce, China has been heavily investing in automation of robotics to produce humanoid robots. Although these robots have made significant technological strides in the last few years, they are far from perfect, as was recently demonstrated in a viral social media video.

Shall we look at it? Yeah. Yeah. There it is. Oh my God. Yeah, winding up. It's coming for you. Bam.

Yeah. Oh, God. I feel a bit bad now. Shouldn't have cheered that. A Unitri G1 humanoid robot wearing a blue clown wig. Executed a perfect roundhouse kick on the stomach of a young child in the audience

who was left writhing in pain on the ground. According to the Chinese newspaper, Shanghai Daily, the incident occurred in Xinjiang, a northwest region of China. We're still watching it, I appreciate. Fortunately, the child was not seriously injured, but the mother complained about the slow reaction of the staff members.

If you actually look at the other people in the audience, they do not react to this kid at all. No one does that happen. No one cares. They don't care. Who's a dick anyway. Wow. Are you farting too much?

Let's have a talk about how much you're farting. Is it real? Wait. Is it onion? Onion. I'm saying onion for this one. This happened, it real? No! What a ludicrous thing to say.

Health advice, right? You're going to learn a lot here. We're all going to learn a lot. The real headline is, how many fans a day is normal? Scientists just calculated what's normal. I think you'll find 74 is the normal amount. You are going to be appalled by this.

Oh, no. Most people pass gas between two and seven times a day. Oh, shit. And that range now has the weight of one of the largest real-word studies on flatulence ever conducted behind it. A study published in J-A-M-A network open led by researchers at Australia's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization tracked flatulence habits of 6,416 adults across the country. Participants logged 360,192 episodes of passing gas in real time using a smartphone application called chart your fart. Built specifically for the study. The mean was five episodes per day.

The median sat lower at 3.8. Nearly 80% of participants recorded between two and seven daily episodes arranged the researchers now propose as a benchmark for what constitutes normal in healthy adults. How do you feel about that? Well, I've always known I wasn't normal,

but I'm exceedingly not normal. My God. I mean, in your defense, you did eat pretty much just broccoli for 40. Even on an off day, I'm still pumping out at least double digits. When you first went vegan, didn't you just eat stuffing for a while? Yeah, that was the bad times.

That was really bad. Cost cutting efforts see record number of mimes out of work. It's not funny. It's sad. Yeah, it's really sad. Is that real? Real. Is it onion?

Onion. Ooh. It is and the onion. The real headline is National Opera lays off 200 phantons. aiming to cut costs after a poor fiscal quarter, Washington National Opera General, General Director Timothy O'Leary announced plans Monday to lay off 200 phantoms, effective immediately. In these difficult times, we can no longer afford to keep all the ghastly, mysterious men who haunt our catacombs on this organisation's payroll, said O'Leary,

who expressed regret that the personnel reduction was happening at a time when job openings for egomaniacal opera goals were at a historic low. As much as we appreciate the contributions of these disfigured geniuses, the strain placed upon our balance sheet by rising insurance premiums for phantoms who scramble around on catwalks, as well as the cost of their masks, and the candelabras needed to decorate vast and ornate subterranean layers has left us with no other choice. Look at him.

He's cleared his desk. He's got his noose there. That's a sad sight, that one. Yeah. Next headline. Enemy lesbian nuns quit convent to marry each other. Is it real? Yeah.

Is it the onion? No. No. Okay. Swear down, bro. This one is real. Yes, come on. Excellent.

The headline is exactly the same. This is beautiful. Francilia Costa and Louisa Silvio first met in a convent in Brazil back in 2019. Costa had been raised by deeply religious grandparents and was encouraged to join the convent while Silverio joined as a teenager while searching for purpose. The pair initially didn't.

like each other, with Silverio admitting that she thought Costa was an unbearable and stuck-up little nun. Little nun. Costa shared that she also didn't like Silberio, but for no particular reason. Proximity made the heart grow fonder in this case, and the pair gradually became close friends. However, they each struggled with their mental health while living in the convent. Together, Costa and Silverio made the decision to leave the convent in 2020 for their mental health. Adjusting to their new lives, neither could afford to live a load.

and so continue to live together outside of the cloister. Then one night in 2023, Costa and Silverio watched Love in the Villa, a rom-com that follows a pair of enemies who fall in love while sharing a villa, and Costa realized her true feelings for her friend. She admitted her feelings to Silverio, who kissed her in return.

The couple are now married and posed with an image of Our Lady A Parasida, the patron saint of Brazil, at their wedding in 2025. Let's hear it for the nuns. Love it. Beautiful story. And from that...

You beautiful, wonderful little nun. You little nun. Beautiful story straight into homicidal dogs. How home computing can offer protection. Is it real? Yes. Yeah. No.

Not sure. Is it onion? Yeah. Bring me to mummy for it is real. No. The real. headline is gaming PC saves owner from bullet fired by neighbor's dog. Sorry, what?

Could you say that again, please? In a story that could have come straight from the Simpsons, a gaming PC owner says their rig saved them from being shot after their neighbor's dog, yes, dog, accidentally discharged a firearm. The bullet traveled through a wall heading toward the person, but it changed trajectory after hitting a ram stick, which these days is like. more expensive than bulletproof shielding. Redditor Angel Babies writes on R-slash PC Master Race

that they woke up in the middle of the night to a bang and glass hitting them in the face. Incredibly, it turned out that the firearm had been discharged by a dog. Do you think that's true? It's like they looked out the window and the neighbor's just like, the dog did it. Could be that.

Could well be that. Finn. Finn. That's it. Lovely. Thank you very much, Ben. Thank you. Stunning. Well, that was the final thing. And so now we're going to do the tried and tested potty its outro.

Michael Johnson, I believe there's some sort of shop. Oh, God damn right. It's over there. It's over there. Please do go check it out. The online shop. We'll be back at some point, but it's still being used to launder money for criminals across the internet. We don't know how to fix it. I'm not talking.

It's really a problem. We can't fix it. We don't know what to do. Of course, most people in this room are probably already following all of our socials. Don't want to dangle a carrot here at all, of course. You know, this is the final poddiot. In two years time, it is the 10-year anniversary of Vidiates. There's a chance we might do something, not sure, not promising anything,

but stay tuned to those socials, stay following just in case. And we will communicate that if that happens. Yeah. So there we are. We'd also like to say a big thank you to Tommy and Fleckers, who've been modding us on the Discord server all these years. So thank you very much for them for all their hard work. And now, get ready for the weirdest Billy Joel song you've ever heard.

We're not going to read the actual donation messages, but it's time for Pod Squad round two. It is. As fast and respectful as we can be. For the final time, your plumpy platoon is, no blobby, no party. RIPV. Bless, Kiskees,

genuinely loved memory cards, Anthony and Becker, Mod Squad on tour, but very sad, Honey Linear, Rhybred Boy, Ironhand Jay and Dr. Steph,

Benson Boy, Hells the Cus, told my friends, hope not too late, Mr. Blobby Babylonie, An ominous, a div, finally joins Pod Squad,

Jen's Herman, the Farwall, Stu Baldwin 22, you fucking did, Serene is a birch bitch, shout hello, or bye, if here live.

There we go, we got one. Yeah, it's good. Stephen Scores Caroline, we are live Grace and Creation is sad Dan Lockie, Big Titty Jesus

42 Wolfgang Amadeus Amadeez Nuts Mo Shard Wobling a bit Anonymous Niels Poo Cannon Joanie 666 Stucalicious

Dead Eye Minis Porga Red evil Waffles Declan and Nicole 10 years Barbara pisses Cook The Jackobite

Hemily Joe Mama Ben Ellis hasn't seen Podiots Hey How he has I hope you liked it. Harrison's birthday is today. Bartek Kibitza. Badly printed Miley Cyrus top. Will oil be fooked? Daniel ST Witt, I messed that up. Whoops. Pod Allison the human aunts. DJ Chisels, Martin and Shell and XIII, Inc. I accidentally gave my pod squad to Mr. Blobby. There you go. Did you? Well, that's what you get, quite frankly. Thank you very much. Tommy the Wank Engine took me Todger for the last poddiots.

Anonymous, Brian Blessed Stong, Blobby Blags bargain boobs, Dr. Goblin, Gabler, Tell Your Friendship is Magic, Ludsey, Mr. Bloby, Sloby-Nobie Sloby Blobby Sloby Slovakin'Obey-Colew. Mr. Gailie Knobs, Tell Your Wallynob, Tim Tam, Jim Jum, Aaron Lorae, You Know It's All About Da Coolew, Lord Brottovich, Jusui-BLukes, DBP sells Avon, Plusylaude, Plusy Lack, Mama, Mama, Mama, Margaret, Harry, Willie Wams, Jack Bradshaw, shut up Pottieots, you're dead. Beth Calman McQueen, struck by Lightning Beth, Harrison Caldon McQueen, Lloyd W is on Billy, Caroline Pottyis has changed, Catercaron, Anonymous, Caroline I've Save You a Seat, Jewel's Face, Captain Silver Linings, Yog Con Rules Boss, and Donak 07 twice. And finally, so small. Is Freddie Weber here tonight? You're not welcome here, please leave. Matt Ney's Treat Day El Gizzi Luke James 89

Prince Beefcakes Heather Quinn Daniel White Wolf Biker Jet Force Juno Jet Force Juno again David and Joanne might have do Ted McBred Pottiot's shaped hole in my life

Carrie and Ryan Kermit the Pog Viddiots changed us all Mark Graham Kermit the Pog DBP's BG's CD DBP's BG CD Axels are live

and Gary Forskin and the pullbacks Yes It is so hot on this stage I A humongous thank you to everyone who contributed to Pod Squad. Thank you so, so much.

It means the world. They sure literally would not have happened without them. We've spent a lot of that money putting this together. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, thank you so much. Yes, thank you. Peter, I don't suppose you have to hand what came out on Vidiates eight years ago this month.

I do. I did not give that to Mr. Blobby. It was a good month, July. Few Damns episode one. Fuck it, we're doing a Minecraft series. Worst Games Ever Smarties Meltdown, Dave. Yes. Post some tat, the video where Mikey got a stab vest,

and we stabbed Mikey, and then realized you're supposed to put something inside the vest. Yes. So I just got stabbed wearing a vest. Yeah. You're fine. It's all right. It's fine.

Also, the prove-it fallout three-part video, which people is a classic, you know. And the waist ground we shot on was the same one we did the jewels video. With jewels, yeah. And also, there was Worst Games ever, Twinis as well, the Twinis game.

That was a good one. Melo! Mellow! Excellent. Michael Johnson, where are you on the internet? At Paraboy on Instagram and Blue Sky. And I forgot the name of my YouTube channel in the first show,

but now I've remembered it. Trying my best on YouTube, go check it out. Now that this is all over, I'll be uploading, hopefully a bit more regularly. Oh, so we'll check it out. And Peter, where are we?

You can find us together at Worst Games Ever. YouTube. forward slash at Worst Games Ever, where Worst Games ever still exists. And we're having a lovely time with Billy, playing terrible video games, some of which were probably sent in, maybe even in the Vidiates years. We've held on to a few.

Some of you, maybe. Over the years. Yeah. Okay, I've got to read this bit now. Why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice? It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. Does it?

Yeah, maybe not. But if you did, thank you, sincerely. Right. Okay. What am I doing now? That was our outro. You're doing that. I'm doing that, but yeah, I see it. Okay, it is time to say a big thank you to everybody that is here. I'm going to start by thanking our amazing helpers, everyone working on the merch desk. Of course, Mr. Blueby, here's a bit of insight for you. That's not Mr. Blobby. The rental place labeled it Mr. Blueby because it is legally different. So you didn't actually see Blobby tonight. That was Blueby.

So big thank you to Blueby. Blueby's handler. We've got Dan on the camera there. We've got Freddie coming up on stage and chaperoning people around. It's a real team effort and we couldn't have done it without them. So a massive thank you to all of our help staff tonight. We also obviously have to thank the Clooney too for having us, for putting up with this and for handling questions like, right, we want Mr. Blobby to come up on stage halfway through.

Is that okay? And saying, yes, it is. It's fine. and specifically thank you very much to Thomas, our sound engineer. Thank you, Thomas. And everyone at the Clooney to has helped us organise this, people on the door and everything. Thank you very much indeed.

And the last big thank you to everyone in the room and maybe watching it, oh, thank you so much. Without you being here, we wouldn't be here. So, like, for all of your continued support watching a YouTube channel that technically ended seven years ago. And yet here you all are, travelling across the world through national disasters. That's your Stoke-on-Trent.

Whoa. Stoke getting astray there. So thank you so much of being here. This literally would not be possible without all of your continued support over the years. Thank you to all of you. Thank you, everyone. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you very, very much for coming. Thank you. Thank you. Now, we're going to go and take a quick breather, but the merch stand will still be open. and if you want to meet us, we'd love to meet you. There's gonna be some of our helpers around

to help form an orderly queue. We'll take some photos in front of the desk, that sort of stuff. So we'll be back very shortly. And another massive thank you. We hope you enjoyed the show. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you all so much.

What an absolute joy. So I think to play us out, we're gonna hear an all-time classic from Peter Austin, one of our favorite bobs. Everyone, please raise your salutes for Pottiet style. Oh, look at you all. This is going to make this much less weird for us There's a show

Keeps on calling me Podiotes Is where I'll always be Every episode I make a new friend Discuss the thing, shout out the squad And I'm gone again Oh yeah

Maybe tomorrow New pods will find their feet Until tomorrow Until tomorrow, keep poddy it's on repeat. From drinks with Dave, Drink, sea-gulls in the news. No need to cry, because here's what you can do.

Yes, if you want to reminisce, For a while, Diff face a map or either tuck That's hodian style, Maybe tomorrow. New pods will take our seat. Until tomorrow, Keep poddy, it's on repeat.

So listeners march from Stoke to Gravy Bay Then stop for cake Cakes At Hazda on your way And if you want to reminisce For a while Spent 50 pence on garlic sauce That's Hodgian style

Head to the zoo So many memories There's a voice saying Will you marry me And when you want to reminisce for a while Down the roll Jump in your car run down your friend that's hoddiet style maybe tomorrow they'll manage to compete

until tomorrow keep body it's on repeat if you want to get serious about this maybe tomorrow you'll want to hit delete until tomorrow keep audience on repeat the london area do you take a quick stop there and hurry the players meet facery oh i've been all over every stop I've been all over every stop I Old friends come into view except the BP. Okay, we're going now. Babelieu.

Keep some car. Ben's hotel bed. Is we're a lot? There's the old grimace blobby care, each one a friend. Noel, Milo, Cheggis, Fiscock, Peter, Michael, Len, maybe tomorrow

new pods will come along. Until tomorrow, I'll just keep pod-y it's on. It's on. And if you want to reminisce, borrow a cordial farts, that's Huddian style. Maybe tomorrow, new pods will come along. Until tomorrow, I'll just keep audience on.