Podiots - Podiots: Episode 17 - Great Stuff

Episode Date: October 16, 2018

Mikey asks some difficult questions, Ben brings real fake news, and Peter talks favourite videogame soundtracks. Thanks to Uninformed Prick (@GodThatsAwful on Twitter) for continuing his work as Barbara Pis' bard! Buy yourself some Vidiots merch: https://yogsca.st/VidiotsMerch Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Discover the new fragrance, mutine Now available in Canada Whoa, the sweetest thing Oh that's the song Baby's got blue skies up ahead Oh you're right We're on folding chairs And I was really worried

Peter Austin would just disappear onto the floor For a second there It's a bit, yeah this is the most jank set up ever It feels like we begin every episode now Talking about how jank to set up is I guess check out Hat Films There's orc video to see how janky it is. If that's out by now, because they just came in with a camera while we were setting up.

Oh, we also tweeted a video of our microphones messing up. So there's a little... There's evidence everywhere. The first time we've done it in our actual room, though. We usually go to a recording room and... Yeah, it's nice, actually. It feels more homely. Homely? Yeah, we've got our Hannah Montana poster on the wall.

Oh, I can't see any of it. All I can see is green screen and you guys. We've got a stack of CEC over there. Oh, God. A CX stack of shame there. Yeah. my word fantastic yeah I'm really good

yeah yeah just great just great good stuff great stuff really good stuff guys just the best some good stuff

really should we should we start some really good stuff maybe in a minute oh Ben's got something to say it's just some really good

stop it just some really good stuff just the best stuff great stuff what's hello what do you think pizza stuff is just so good

I just wish I just wish I could remember the safe word I don't like this this is some great some great Oklahoma some really good

Oklahoma. Just great. Lady Liberty. Just some great stuff. Feeling great. No. Potassium. Just some great.

Oh. Oh, thank God. Okay. That was weird. What happened there? I don't know. Very confused. Okay, well, let's start then.

Hello, everybody and welcome to episode. Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode 17 of Pottie. Sorry. Is that, do we do this? that? Do we all say that? No, I just thought you... No, Michael just jumped in. Oh, okay. Hello, everybody and welcome to episode 17 of Paudiots. Oh, I didn't do. I thought you're doing it again.

I didn't have me. Hello, and welcome to episode 17 of Poddiots. It's the official podcast of the Vidiates YouTube channel and Twitch Broadcasting Empire. Still, no... broadly speaking. Still no unofficial podcast out there. No, someone did say they might do it, but it's a lot of effort. It is. Why would you do that? Why would you? We'll also sue you. We'll sue the shitter. Yeah, do it so we can get it. get some money. We'll absolutely fuck you up.

Thank you very much for joining us. It's a conversational podcast. It's a podcast where we take questions from you guys and also obey the rules and the laws of the three errs, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. I'm Michael.

Oh, you were so reluctant, both of you, I could tell. And I could hear the cogs turning in your head, and you still said your own names, which is great stuff. I was just leaving a delay like Peter did. So I was just keeping it in rhythm. One, two, three. I'm Michael. There we go.

And that's how it went down. Fantastic. Well, I'm just trying to think if there's anything we really need to talk about to begin with. I don't believe that there is. Oh. I don't believe that there's too much we need to discuss. Is it because you've done all the admin ever in the previous episodes? I think so.

There's lots of things to plug at the end. But for right now, I think we're good. Oh, we can get straight to the juicy S-Club-related conversation. Yeah, that's what everybody craves, right? Yeah, steps. Who would like a question? Me. Oh, I would.

This one comes from Tom Carey at AFC 17, Kerry. Oh, fuck. Have any of you or come close to being arrested? I think from context we can sort of understand what he's trying to say. Have any of you or come close? It actually says, have any of you or came close? Right. To being arrested.

Anybody been arrested? Michael, have you trespassed doing filming? I've trespassed, yeah, many times, but that's not really. really a real crime, is it? Well, no. It's a fun crime. I think they have to ask you to leave. Like, you can't,

they can't call the police if they've not already, like, gone and spoken to you and asked you to leave. Well, they can call the police if you want. I'm committing other crimes. Yeah. Once I went to, like, an abandoned area back home to just, I was testing out a new camera

and I took along some bottles of spray paint. I was just, oh, I was doing some stuff on the walls. Then these kids came over and I just handed them a can of spray paint. Oh, wow, you bought them off. I was like, it's even worse. I didn't buy them off. I just thought it'd be fun to give the kids some spray paint

Oh, that was me. When you say kids, I thought you were saying that you were quite young at the time. Oh, no. And they were sort of a similar age. These were children. Yeah, these were like 12 year olds. Oh, okay, cool. And then they just started huffing it and then you got them addicted to...

Yeah, it's great. And now they come to me all the time. To paint fumes. Yeah, it's like a gateway. He gives a free sample. And then when they're addicted to their spray cane, they all come to him for their spray can. I'm quite upset. I've never been close to being arrested, really.

I've like... No. We're good boys, though. that's the thing. Yeah. We're pretty good boys. You've done some unruly things on nights out, though, from what I understand. Yeah, I'm quite like a loud, rumbunctious person when I'm very drunk, but that's like...

It's so different to you normally. Oh my God, it's so different. But Newcastle's just kind of like, that's the norm there, isn't it? Yeah. I'm sort of friendly drunk. I'm just a little bit, wee, let's do something weird. I have conversely come close to making a citizen's arrest. Of course you have, Peter.

I mean, not me. I was present We were driving Well I mean By that I mean I was watching By that I mean It was in a car going past Well we were in the car going past

Okay So when I was I was probably like Seven or eight Me and my older brother Stop criminals Yeah And my younger sister

Unhand the eggs From the village Wait until you hear where this goes You think it's going to be so innocent We were driving along With my grandma behind the wheel. Sounds even more innocent, doesn't it, at the moment?

And as we're going along, we see these two old ladies walking along the pavement in our direction and heading towards them is a man in a jacket and then there's this car ahead of us going along the road at like a really weird snail's pace. I'm like, okay. And suddenly this guy grabs one of the old ladies' handbags

and he goes, go! And jumps into this car. and they speed off and my grandma's response to that with three children in the car is I'm going to chase this man amazing we chased him for like five minutes

I'm actually the best day ever like it was like well it's going crazy and me and my brother and my sister were like okay everyone need to remember the number plate this was before like you had a camera on your phone so it was like everyone remember this number plate

and we'll phone the police anyway we're chasing this guy and he clearly wasn't from the area because he ended up driving up like a dead end like a cul-de-sac. Oh, my God. What was your grandma's plan? Well, exactly.

So, at this point, he gets onto a dead end, and she knew that, like, oh, this is a dead end. She was like, mm, okay. And at that point, she sort of, like, backed out and thought, okay, well, he's either going to, like, reverse his car and smash us up. Or maybe he's even got a knife, possibly. Maybe, or a shooter. So we kind of let them go, but then we drove back to where the old ladies were,

and they were on the phone to the police, and we had the number plate. And then gave it to him. You reported them. You could say which direction they went in. Yeah. Superstar grandma. Here we go. Diddly did.

Amazing. I've committed crimes in my time. It's never been caught because that's what being a good criminal is. Yeah, exactly. All the people who got caught, you're just shit criminals. Shit law break. We've all taken a bit of pick and mix that we shouldn't have done. That's why Woolworth went under.

Yeah. All the stolen... I don't cheaty. He loves Woolworths. He misses. Oh, he does, yeah. I've never taken Pick and Mix just, like, walked up and put some in my pocket or eating some. I have, there was this little corner shop in the village where we used to go to school.

A local business as well, people. Yeah, oh yeah, and it did get closed down like two years after we were doing this. Oh, because you did it. Yeah, and they had this little small pick and mix area with paper bags. And all you would do is, like, fill your bag up and then go over and say, there's one pound 20s worth in there. Oh, my. So they had an honour system.

It was an honest system. I mean, to be fair, that's their own stupid fault. It is. But going way below the standard bar for pick and mix. Yeah. Consumption. So we would just constantly take way more than we had in our bags, which is obviously what you would do as a child.

And then it got boarded up like two years later. Yeah. Because you did that. Yeah, you did that. That's on your conscience. Fuck. I balanced it out. I stole some sweets, but I maybe got a guy put behind bars.

Yeah, I also planted some sweet trees. Yeah. That's how it was. Around trees. Hey, very good. We did it. We did it, guys. I was once eight years old.

It may be hard to believe, but it did happen. Oh, my God. And my cousin and I, my cousin is a year older than me, we went to the village playing field. And there was a chain and lock on the gate. But it had been removed and was just on the floor next to it. And I don't know why, but we thought it would just be the funniest thing in the world just to fling it into the head.

right now I'm not sure how my mum found out oh my god but she was not happy and we had to go around to the house of the man who looks after the playing field and tell him what we're doing oh that's awful and it was the worst thing and it was the scariest thing yeah all I remember is afterwards feeling like having this feeling like I'd had this weight lifted from my chest and my shoulders and my back and then we just sat there and played the PS1 Army Men 3D game. Nice. Oh, that was a good one, yeah.

Which was great. Apart from that, I haven't really had any close runnings, running, cool runnings with the police. Apart from when I went to university in Leicester and I had my hood up and I was walking home from a friend's house late at night and a police car pulled over and yelled out the window at me and he asked me what color my hoodie was. And I said green and he said, oh, it's all right then. And then drove off. So clearly they were looking for someone.

my God, a hooded figure. With a certain colored hoodie. And I was like, okay, well, that's why you don't wear hoods if you're innocent. God. I have a similar story to yours about the playing field, which is that when me and my brother and sister were visiting my grandma in Scotland, there was this new kid who'd moved into the area just down the road. And she'd sort of said, oh, why don't you go and play with him and like, you know, go to his house. He doesn't know anyone. So we did.

And he had these Pokemon toys. Oh, nice. A tiny little Pikachu and stuff that can go inside a ball, I guess. Okay. And we were just playing with them. And then when we got back to the house, suddenly my brother goes into his pocket and he's taken three toys from this boy's house. Three?

He's a thief. Yeah, and he gives one to me and one to my sister. And we're like, what? It's like Robin Hood? We don't want this, like, hot property. Honor amongst thieves. And again, I don't know how my dad found out, but we then had to go back to this boy's house and be like,

we're really sorry, but like, we stole your toys. Fuck. Which was... That just does not put you on the right foot, does it? No. I don't know how accurate remembering this, but I remember the act, but not the name. But I was at a friend's house one time. I think it was a birthday party.

I had like a huge box of Playmobile. That was like really envious off. Nice. A really good Playmobile. Yeah. So I took the smallest, this most insignificant bit of Playmobile, which is like a scroll, but like a little plastic one. So I kind of said, oh, half that.

Yeah. It was at the birthday party of something, Levenowski. I think was his last name. It's the most fucking nerd name ever. Eleven Dowski. And I kept that for years. I think it's still in my Playmobile box in the attic. But I think the worst telling off I've ever had.

I don't think even got told off. It's just me and a friend stole a cigarette and we smoked it behind the back of our shed. My parents shed. Did you really smoke it though? Did you just sort of get it in your mouth and then exhale it? Don't really remember. But it was probably like very childlike.

Nauty. Dainton? No. Don't do that. Don't do that. Delittering the deer. one of the kids were with knocked on my house

and like my dad answered the door I was like I want to let you know Michael I smoked a cigarette early today Wow and I was upstairs like What an arsehold

screaming like No Inconsolable men Fuck I was like What the fuck are you doing James You fucking prick Fuck you James

You asshole James McPrick Yeah And then like my dad went to cross, because it was like me and my friend Jono, he went to cross over to like his house and to confer, like, confer store to see what actually happened because I said, oh, he forced

me to do it. Which is bullshit. Oh no. So then you were the bad guy. Yeah. It's just that was like, I was just remember like the heart sinking feeling of him, the door knocking, seeing his, he's going, he's going to taddle. Why would he do that? It was just like Goody two shoes prick. So did he, did he not smoke it? He just knew that you smoked.

Yeah, yeah. I thought, well, let's get some fucking care of that. What a bad boy. What an awful boy Well, there we go That's that question So yes, we've all been in actual prison Yes, we've been We've been death sentenced

Where do you think we're recording this from right now? Benjamin Eerie I think it's some stupid fucking Halloween name Oh, I see Oh, it's tis the season Asked if you had to assassinate One fictional kids television character Who would it be?

I'm just going to kick it off right away And say Jimmy Neutron I've never seen Jimmy Neutron I don't like his face I don't like what he's about. Pretty weird looking. I think he should be killed because he looks different. Jimmy Neutron is a fucking A-Star show,

and I will not stand for this character assassination. I wouldn't stop you killing Jimmy Neutron. Thank you. Quasson? Any thoughts? It's such a specific question. Sorry, what was it exactly? If you could kill one...

If you had to assassinate one fictional kids television character, who would it be? And we don't watch current day television for children. Yeah, so we can't really pick... differences from that 1970. The Russian spies who get, well,

I don't know who it is, he gets killed, but like people get killed by injection and stuff and like they have a slow painful kind of chemical death. Is that what's happened to Bella? There's someone caught poisoned her.

She's got like, yeah, she's got fucking radiation poisoning. I think Milo actually did it. You think Milo did it? Off of the Tweenies. Milo off of the Tweenies has assassinated Bella.

Well, I think what he did was, he injected her like on Purge night when he was allowed. And then the next. day now that the purge is over he pretends to have nothing to do with it and he's going oh no Bella oh she's going to die raises a very interesting question Peter Austin in that long deaths that are instigated on purge night what's the legality of them that's good point later on well the act the act is is done on on

so Milo essentially signed Bella's death certificate yeah on purge night for in the tweenies house yeah yeah while floppy was what and what was the Doodles. Doodles. Doodles. Sorry, floppy is from Biff and Chip. Yeah. What the fuck's Biff and Chip?

What do you mean what the fuck's Biff and Chip? How can you not know what Biff and Chip is? On an adventure. Having fun with the magic key. Doesn't ring any bells at all. Star of book and screen. Biff and Chip. Biff and Chip, your wand.

Anyway, yeah, so he signed the death certificate of Bella off of the Tweenies that night and then just watched it play out, like some sort of grim phantom specter of death and just pretended to be sympathetic. It's a bit spooky. I would drop some sort of large explosive on the entirety of the night garden. That's fair. I'm unfamiliar, but I think it's a bit scary, isn't it? Well, the thing is that it's after our time.

It's an abomination in the eyes of God. And therefore, it kind of looks like they're these sort of Teletubbies pretenders. They're all called, I know one of them is called Iggle Piggle. And, you know, you can get. guess the rest. They're all called like ninky nunk and... One's like genuinely called like ninky nunk, isn't it? It's so weird. It sounds like weird slurs, don't know? Racial slurs. Twinkily dinkly and shooped a whoop and stuff.

And they all look weird and I'm pretty sure like the same thing happens every episode. Like the telitubbies. Oh yeah. But who the fuck do you think you are stepping into Lala's shoes? See, I'm not even a big fan of the telitubbies and I used to watch that a lot. I'm thinking maybe there's a dude. dual operation that can happen here. You know the end of Breaking Bad

where he hooks up that machine gun on a rig so it spins round and fires it everyone out of the boot of the car? What if we strap that to Nunu and just sent that into the Tally Tubby's Mole Hill House? But what about all the rabbits? Oh, the rabbits would be fine.

They would be replaced almost instantly. What about the baby son? You can't shoot a baby. Oh, I don't think the bullet will go that far. It's just collateral damage, isn't it? Okay. What about that dancing teddy bear that used to do the tap dancing. Do you remember?

No, I don't. Maybe he wasn't there that day. Maybe he got an anonymous letter saying, don't come to Tubbyland today. Don't come to school tomorrow. All the other kids with the jump. Yeah, at the end of every episode, I think it might have been after a few series.

They introduced a thing where there would be like an animated, like two minute thing. Do you guys not remember this? It was a fucking creepy puppet guy who would walk around a house. It would be this house and the lights would come on in the window and you'd see this silhouette of a guy walking around his house and he'd be going,

Oh, that rings bells. Oh, okay, yeah, maybe I'd do. And then eventually he'd go to one of the windows and he'd never know which one. It would change every time. And he'd open the window and he'd sing a fucking weird song. He'd just go,

Nia! No, do, no, no. Oh, Jesus. That sounds really fucked up. It was really fucked up. We can strap a machine gun to new. Yeah, maybe we can make sure he's in that day. Yeah.

Well, the question, was it children's show or cartoon? A children's show. Oh, sick. Blue Peter. You'd kill Blue Peter. Which one? All of them. You'd kill the titular Blue Peter.

Well, you can't kill Connie Huck because she's currently over in the third world. She is constantly, the Blue Peter appeal. Keep Connie Huck abroad somehow. God. No, I think I just really hated Blue Peter. It was too goody-to-shoots in my liking as a kid. Just like, oh, look at this. It was everything lovely.

Fuck off. I remember being very excited when WWE were in town and they would always send a couple of wrestlers to Blue Peter. really weird. And they'd like throw Matt Baker around. The hurricane giving Matt Baker a hip toss. National treasure to be Matt Baker. Bit having the shit being out of him by the Undertaker. Yeah.

Fucking beautiful. God. I don't know why I've got such anger against Bleakina. They had a garden and everything. Yeah. I'd never got a bandalized once. Did it? In like I think the late 80s. They just came in one day. Was it by Michael testing out his new camera? Yeah, possibly. Spray painting all over the fucking wall. They did like a piece

on it the next day. They were like, now we unfortunately have some very sad news. Our garden was attacked last night by vandals. It's terrible behavior and just like did a whole thing. And here's how they did it in case you want to do it. Yeah. This one we did earlier. Yeah.

Here's a different garden. We smashed up earlier. It's the fucking one show's garden. Wow. Well, there we go. That was amazing. Yeah. We have three a things, don't we?

Three of things. Who brought a thing along today? Me. Me. Michael did. Did you? I did as well. Who would like to go first?

Not me this time. Oh, I guess I'll go first. Yeah? I've just got some would you rather questions. Oh boy. Hit us with it. Oh, yeah. Hit us with your best shot.

The start kind of... Would you rather Matt Baker or Connie Hook? Big Baker, please. Hit me with that rhythm stick. Okay. It starts kind of normalish and then gets a bit weirder towards the end. There's four questions here. Are we answering quickly or are we giving a lot of thought to this?

You can put a lot of thought into it, but yeah. Should we give a team answer? Do we have to come to a... I don't know. Do you want to try and persuade each other into things? I mean, it would stimulate discussion. Oh, I guess. Okay. Would you rather? How much dedicated wather for her? Would you rather read minds or see into the future? Oh, both. Both sound like. Ben's currently trying to attach her.

Can I tell you why? It's a bit disgusting, really. Okay, so he's got an air freshener. We have an air freshener in this room. I'm trying to attach it to my pop show. Like a car one. Because my. microphone pop shield smells like somebody has sneezed on it. Oh no. It just has that like sneeze smell. That one is literally fresh out the box. It smells weird. I'm putting that on it. It might be someone sneezed on it in the factory. It smells nice. It smells better now. I'm better.

Anyway, would you rather read minds or predict the, like, know the future? Those sound like curses to me. Now my question is, yeah, reading minds would be awful. If you know the future, are we assuming that like you can act on that and change it? It's not like, you know in films where they they can see the future and then they try and do stuff and then that actually makes it happen or whatever. They know that their dad is going to die in like 20, 25 and so they stop him leaving the house

and then the house burns down. Yeah. That's that kind of shit. Let's assume time is just lots of parallel universes where everything happens. It shows you your universe, your line of time. But then once you alter something, you switch over into another one. So it shows you the future for your current path. It's basically not a dick move version

of seeing the future. No. You can use it the way you would want to use it. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I think reading minds as long as it's optional and you don't hear that shit all the time. Oh, but then, because yeah, you're going to get curious, you're going to listen to something at the wrong time. So, for example, you wouldn't necessarily like want to read your partner's mind all the time because you would trust them and you want to invade their privacy. But then if, you know, you might be having a conversation with them and they might, you know, maybe they're like sort of staring into space and you go, oh, sorry, is this boring? Do you not want to talk about this? And they go, oh, no, sorry, sorry, I was listening. I just, you know,

Yeah, they would almost be fearful of you, wouldn't they? Or they would have to keep it to yourself. Or I was going to say, like, if they, even if they didn't know, you could read minds, but then they go, oh, sorry, no, I'm listening, I'm listening. You would then be like, are they actually interested? Should I check? Should I listen into their mind. Should be interested in you. The most interesting mind on the planet, you can read into people's minds.

Yeah, well. I mean, all of this sounds like a bad deal all around. I'd rather not know the future. Well, you've got to choose one. Okay, I'd read minds, I guess I'd read minds. Maybe I would like to know the future though Again if it was optional I could just read the bits I don't know when people are going to die

No I don't want to know that Yeah I guess it's optional you could just look oh where's not what's a lot of numbers I think yeah The future may be a better safer option I don't want to be tempted by some sort of life fuckinging It would be like having a quick save option You know just with stuff that's like a bit of a risk But you're like I kind of need to take this risk

Then you could just have a little look ahead and be like Will I die if I try and jump over this cliff or when Ever. Will I am? Will I am? Yes, you will. All right. Would you rather, number two? Would you rather be able to converse with non-human animals or have a lifelong fluency in every human language? Or definitely the second one. Oh, just be able to speak to every human ever. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, absolutely, no doubt. It would be amazing to speak to animals. It's a more practical scale. I don't think animals have that much going on in their heads, really. I don't know. It would be cool to see, though. I mean, yeah, but it would be so simplistic. Yeah. Even if you could communicate, food, sex, it would mainly be,

a lot of animals communicate mainly on like fucking scent and like just body, just basic instincts. Yeah, exactly, instinct and body language and stuff. Don't, don't even know who's in it. And me neither. Yeah. Yeah, I think speaking to every human

would be infinitely more useful than speaking to animals. That's a skill you can advertise on a job. Like, hey, I speak to everyone. Yeah, I mean, if you want to, to be a zookeeper, I suppose, but even so, what are you going to talk to, like, an elephant about? Yeah, and no one else can hear them with you, so you have to just converse with the animals. You would look mental, wouldn't you? Like, everyone would think you were mental. Whereas, full Doctor Doolittle, I guess, on it, couldn't you? Yeah, I mean, that's the one thing I find

difficult, I'm not difficult, but like, the, the less good bit about going on a holiday is when you go to anywhere that doesn't speak, like, either French or German or maybe Spanish, if you learnt that school, then you're, it's just a pain in the ass, isn't it? Like, Asia's hell to navigate. Lovely place, but my God, if you don't know the language, you're fuck. It's like they could have made more of an effort. Yeah, come on, guys. We speak our language. Yeah, you know, the language. For only the colony continued, to be good of, everything would have been English and we've been great. Yeah. Beans and chips in every restaurant. Bring it now. Shame what happened after the World Wars, isn't it? Yeah, real shame. It's such a shame.

Yeah, that these people wanted their stuff back. Yeah, they wanted their freedom and their own, their own land. We were just Michael Johnsoning and Peter Austin's brothering our way around the world taking what we wanted and then our mum made us give it all bag. Go round to India right now

and tell them what you've done. India, we're really sorry but we're keeping the big diamond. You can have the rest. Our most important lady wears it on her hat. I think I'm going to go animal because that's an impossibility. Of course you would go out.

Yeah, you're a parrot boy. Hang on, you can already talk to your animals. Fuck, I've already got that skill. But I think no, because Humans, someone else can translate it, but animals, there's no one. True. True. You would be the only one. That is a literal, literal impossibility. Yeah.

Okay, the second to last one. Yes. Would you rather lose your dick or your leg? Oh my God. A leg. Probably my leg. Yeah. And it's not just, it's not just a sexual thing.

It's just the dick is quite important. Yeah. And prosthetics are pretty all right now. I mean, both of them are horrible scenarios, but definitely dick. Even if you didn't get a prosthetic leg. Definitely keep Dick. Keeping Dick. Keeping it's a new film.

Even if Richard didn't get a prosthetic leg and had one leg, if you lost a leg early enough in life, by the time, like, within five or ten years, you'd probably like... You'd have grown another. Yeah. You'd probably be pretty good at like either using like a crutch as though you've got two legs

or like using two arms and a leg. You know, you see these people with no legs at all. and they're like clambering around with just two arms. They've got like a house that's obviously been like built for them. Human beings are amazing. Yeah, we can adapt. Whereas there's not a lot you can do to kind of replace or, you know, emulate. Emulate, exactly, your penis.

That would have wronged or without, well, with perspective. And I'm certain that there are people out there who are in such a position. Oh, sure. Yeah. And again, have adapted and overcame the situation. But if you're asking me right now, if I'd rather have my penis or both of my legs, I would rather have my dig. Yeah. Always by your side.

Okay. Lastly, teeth for pubs or pubs for teeth. Oh, my God. Because if you had enough pubs in your mouth, it'd be kind of like a whale's mouth. Oh, yeah. A baleen plate. Fine bristles. Of course, you know what it is.

just a fine brush I think that's what it's called yeah like a door like a letter box yeah with the bristles that would be rubbish because you wouldn't be able

to enjoy any food but then you look down and you see just the teeth but you could presumably like how would you have them removed right well I think that's cheating because I seem to grow back

and like because they kind of they both church of the properties would it feel like having your teeth removed oh imagine that it's got like lean over

you got a local anaesthetic and just oh All of us here have had surgeries that are probably similar in pain levels to that. So who's to say that it wouldn't be worth it? Just getting those dick teeth removed. God. Just picture it in your mind.

It'd be like a little plate of armour. You'd be immune to nuts shots. Yeah. Maybe it would be worse because you would be getting mashed by a row of teeth. You'd be being bitten. Yeah, you'd be being bitten by your own bollocks on your bollocks. I don't want to think about it, but I'm going to say, I still want to enjoy eating

I want my actual teeth in my mouth I think partner would still love you with your dicky pubs not dicky pubs teethy pubs I think a partner has to put up with less if you have a normal mouth but a bad I think you mean fewer

yes I do your partner would have to put it with fewer if you had a normal mouth but a toothy genitals because there are other things you can do the bedroom that don't involve your genitals but like talk talk or kiss or or or do the oral sexes but if you guess downstairs would still be oral sex because you've got the teeth there no but i mean

for them i'm a giver michael not just a taker oh look at that but if you just had a mouth full of wet pubes all the time that's just an inconvenience for every day life no one would want to look at you let alone like talk to you or kiss you oh forgot to trim them to oh i've got a pub stuck in my mouth I've got, oh, I've got a pubs. Oh, hang on there. Maybe you could get dentures. I don't know. Oh, that would work.

But don't you stick those in with like denture glue? Then you'd get it all caught up in your pubs. God. Who cares? They're not attached to like muscles, are they that are moving all over the place? They're just, I don't know. I feel very weird now. With this like furry sock I've got on my microphone,

I kind of know what it's like to have pubs in my mouth. You're just munching on that sock. Every so often one of these hairs just like flies loose and definitely goes in my gob. Lovely. I hope you're enjoying the lack of... It's still kind of poppy. It's still kind of there, isn't it? Wonderful.

Michael, was that all of them? That was all of them. Thank you very much for your thing. Yeah, that's all right. I feel thoroughly disgusted now. Good. Well, as long as we've set the tone. Yeah.

Let's move on to the next question from Afraid Spookings at open underscore porch underscore door. Spookings. What's the most awkward situation you've ever been in? And I must have had one in my head when I chose this question, but I can't remember now because I think all of my awkward moments are locked away in a little box in my mind

than I don't want to think about it. Yeah, I don't really want to go through my head and try and find one because I too will just haunt me. Yeah, I can't think of it right now. I can tell one of my girlfriends most awkward moments which I'm sure she'd love for me to tell.

Are you sure? Yeah, it's not a bad one. It is just like supremely awkward but she was at like a house party once like a very rich friend and they had like a custom-made ice sculpture built which costs like a lot like with like four figures.

like thousands of pounds. Yeah. She knocked it over the next day and it just smashed everywhere. Oh shit. And she just looked like, sorry. Did she try and put it back together?

I just don't think about that. I mean, at least it was after the party. The freezer will just have like a solid side on one where it rests on the drawer. It's kind of got the marks from the grill from the freezer. Yeah. And she just felt like she wanted to die in that moment. I've definitely had awkward moments though.

Like every day it's just an awkward experience to me. I've just remembered one, actually. Oh, go for it. I can think of in my head right now several really painfully awkward moments that I just don't want to talk about. But one of them that isn't so bad was when I went on my first, I think it was my first gaming industry like event thing that I'd ever been able to attend as press. And it was in Paris. And I went to the toilet. At this place.

This convention place. And I went into the ladies' toilets without realizing. Oh, no. Did a toilet. Came out, washed my hands. And as I walked out, two women walked past me as I was leaving. But it was like a really fancy, in my defense, it was a really fancy place. Yeah.

And the toilets, instead of having doors on, they had like weird arches. Oh. where you could sort of see into like the hand washing station of a portion of the tour. So I don't think I really paid any mind and I just went in. And that was, that was pretty bad. Did they say anything or look at you? They looked at me. Yeah, big time looked at me.

I've also remembered the actual one that there was the reason I put this in here. Which again is another games industry event. I had interviewed Troy Baker, prolific voice actor man for video games. played Joel in The Last of Us and god so many different games he's in he's in bloody loads of them Booker De Witt and Bioshock Infant

all that kind of stuff I'd interviewed him on my on my podcast like a couple of years before this event and then I went to this event that he was at it was an event for infamous second son which was coming out on PS4 at the time I went to the bathroom at this event

and he was another toilet it's another it's always involves a toilet I went in there and I desperately needed a number two so I went in there to do a poop and I sat down

on the toilet and he came in and you recognised the voice of sound Drake entering the box exactly I recognised this man and he was just there

while I was just sort of mid bowel movement and I just stopped and just kind of waited for him to go that's the worst thing to do because once you hold it in it bubbles up

and it's going to explode then he left the bathroom and the lights went out because it was on a sensor and a timer so I was just sat there pooing in the dark after my voice acting idol

had just left the room so I've done that before in the office when people enter the bathroom like I'll hold it in and then they're just like I think you did that with me once I went in to take a pee and I think I knew that you'd

gone to take a poop at some point but I wasn't sure if you'd still be in there and I saw that one of the cubicles was shut and it was quiet for a while and then there was that exact sound effect and then you chuckling to yourself. I did that yesterday I did a funny sound and there's someone in the cubicle

next me and I chuckled to myself. I've got we've already actually told these stories but mine and one about you Ben which is also video games conference and toilet related

what is it about the games industry and pooing when we were on the train oh yeah of course oh and you accidentally went into the toilet and there was a young there was a young well there was a child in there with her mother yes um who was using the toilet and no one stopped you nope all the people outside the train toilet who must have known that someone had gone in and not locked it they didn't stop you nope and uh mine which i'm sure i told when we told your story was that I was in a shop once

and I went into the toilets and there was a lady helping her very old mother get off the toilet and into a wheelchair but fortunately she was at least panted clothed.

Panted. Right. Yes. That was really awkward because then I, that was the only free toilet so I had to walk back out and then stand outside and they had to just walk past me. You monster. I've remembered mine. Yeah.

It's known to many as just the soup incident. Oh, okay. I wasn't in that day. Oh, you missed out. But I saw the aftermath. It was the anniversary of the soup incident,

time of recording. Several people have asked for the story to be told on potty it. So I guess it works quite nicely. So yeah, I think one year ago, about a week ago now, well, one year and one week now

for this podcast's air date, but I was walking into the kitchen at what culture with a pot of soup in one hand and an empty belly in the other waiting. Jaunty, skipping your step. Skipping along. I'm ready to eat my soup.

And as I was walking in, I saw Adam Nicholas, just nice, quiet, sitting at the table on his phone, just having a nice relax, you know, as you do, as lunchtime. Nicolmast, as usual. Oh, he's a well-dressed lad. Yeah. Yeah, that plays into the story. It does, yeah.

As I approached him, I was like, oh, Nicholas, and I lifted up my soup pot, and I leaned back, and I pretended to throw it. Like, I did a slow. You mimed. I mimed I was going to throw at him as you know a funny joke That is funny

You thought I was going to throw the soup at you But in the upper arc I accidentally squeezed the pot And the lid flew off And I carried on the motion And essentially flung 600 milleties of soup Carrot and coriander

Directly orange Hey Adam Nicholas What Splat What the fuck is wrong with you You asshole Why would you even think I just remember

Like because it was like at the point of the motion where I couldn't really stop, it was going through, and I felt it just get lighter. Slow motion, was it? Genuinely, it felt like slow motion. The soup just rained from the sky, and the sound of...

I don't know. So he got fucking drenched in soup, and the carpet surrounding him was stained yellow. Still stained. You then went and got a mop and mopped the carpet. Well, it's not even that. There's another bit in between where the whole office came... Everyone came around.

Because I, we both stood there. like five seconds like fuck I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I think I went back into the main area to get like something

to clean it up and people like oh what are you getting that for just just throw an air soup all over Adam and at this point the whole office comes stands in a line

and watches as I fruitlessly attempt to mop up the soup yeah there's yeah like everyone tweeted about it that day so yeah

did you think you might get fired for dirtying the carpet people have been fired for less I said that Yeah, that's true. I didn't think I'd get fired. I was just like, fuck sick.

Really wanted that soup. Yeah. Did you lick it off the floor? Did you lick it off Adam? Yeah. That was my next best. I should have done. I shouldn't.

A handsome man. Yeah. I've fucked it that day. Yeah. And now, like, I've genuinely changed me as a human. Whenever I'm shaking soup, I have, like, fingers on top of the carton

to make sure nothing comes out. I don't pretend to throw soup at anyone anymore. No, no more pretending to throw. He doesn't throw anything anymore. No, not all. He's never raised his arms above his head since. It's just too scary. And yeah, that's...

Probably one. Yeah, that was just bad. That was just bad. It was the baddest. Get the cream. Well, thank you very much for that question. The cream of tomatoes. Yes.

Get the clean cream. I've got a thing. Oh. Have you guys heard of a website called The Onion? Yes. Oh. The Onion is a satirical website that posts pretend news stories. I like this Ben game.

And there's also a Reddit. Reddit being the front page of the internet, where people can go to specific subredits and talk about their desired topics. And there's a subreddit dedicated to Not the Onion, which is real news stories that sound as if they should be satirical and be featured on the satirical news website, The Onion. Put the bloody real. I've got four. I've got four headlines here. I'm going to read them to you one at a time. I need you to tell me which ones are real news stories and which one is from the Unions.

Onion. Hit me. Okay. My phone's locked itself. Oh. Here we go. Number one. Man who removed buss... Hang on. Let me try that again. Man who removed bus stop bench to check its dimensions for flat renovation gets detention. UN reports... What? Hang on. Can we just... Man who removed bus stop bench to check its dimensions for flat renovation gets detention.

I feel like that's real. Where did he remove it? What? That's so weird. That must be real. No one would even make that up. Because that's not very onion-y. That just sounds like someone being a bit weird and wanting to buy a bench. Yeah, so he took a real bus stop bench from a bus stop and put it in his house just to check that it would fit. And then did what? What? Was he going to buy one that was the same but wanted to check? So we stole a real one? Who knows? We'll have to find out, won't we? We will.

Well, I'm saying real on that one. Me too. UN reports says humanity has 12 years to avert climate-related catastrophe. Absolutely real. Why does that sound made up? That sounds real. UN reports that humanity has 12 years to a climate-related catastrophe. Mm-hmm. Okay.

If you can hear my stomach, I'm really sorry, it's just bubbling and gurgling away. Is that the climate-related catastrophe? Well, it will be soon. CO2 emissions reach critical mass when Ben farts. It's just hunger, I promise you. These Virginia towns can jail, find, children over 12 who trick or treat. Oh, fine.

Oh, I see. Jail or fine children. Not fine children will be jail. Yeah. Who's to judge? Yeah. I want to say that's real because people like parents do genuinely like, oh, I don't like these all these teenagers, trick or treat and it's not for them. It's not right.

But jail them? I don't know. Finally, Cleveland-bound flight delayed due to emotional support squirrel. fuck these all sound real now no actually there are definitely problems like you do get delays and or people getting kicked off flights

or other passengers getting mad because there are emotional support animals on there and the animals themselves get curiouser and curiouser as time goes on you know it started with dogs and then maybe you get the old bird or cat and now you can just get emotional support

like octopuses and stuff I think Fuck. Do you want me to read them all through again? Yeah. We'll do them one at a time. You ready? Yeah. Man who removed bus stop bench to check its dimensions for flat renovation gets detention.

That's real. Yeah. Real. That is real. Yeah. Oh. These Virginia towns can jail fine children over 12 who... These Virginia towns can jail or fine children over 12 who trick or treat.

I want to say real because I feel like that's too grounded in the way that it's worded. I think it's... I think if it was the onion, it would be Virginia towns to jail children over, but this is just like, it's almost like an, like a listical site or something like these, did you know that these towns? So I think that's real. Okay. UN reports, he didn't say whether it was real. Says humanity has to, I realize that as I go through it, it's going to become obvious which one might be. Oh, I see. If I continue to tell them, tell you which ones are true or not. Right. UN report says humanity has 12 years to avert climate-related catastrophe. Absolutely real. I think that's, definitely real unless there's some sort of

amusing onion photo where it's like a fat man doing a fart Cleveland bound flight delayed due to emotional support squirrel I think squirrel I'm going to say that might be the onion because that's the thing is one of them's the onion that's the one it's not that ridiculous but it is the most ridiculous one in the list

it's just that it's got that weird twinge that the onion gives things where it's just like it's based in reality but just a little bit of yeah it's not going to sit there. Okay well UN report says Humanity has 12 years to avert climate-related catastrophe. That's from the Onion. What?

Yeah, I saw that headline and thought, are they posting actual news? But I clicked on it, and it's full of expert opinions, which are all jokes. So that's a bit of a curveball there. Oh, that's a tricky one. That was a bit of a bastard cheeky one. I won't do that to you again. Don't worry. I was just struggling to find anything on the onion that doesn't sound like it's from the onion.

Does that mean support squirrel's real? Yep. Man who removed bus stop bench to check its dimensions for flat renovation. gets detention, true. Wow. These Virginia towns can jail fine-looking children over 12 who trick a treat. That's true. Cleveland-bound flight delayed due to emotional support squirrel.

That's true. Are there any of those that you want to learn more about? I'm going to Google the emotional support squirrel because I need to see it. I don't want to know what the fuck that man was doing. Yeah. Okay. I will, this is news from Singapore. Oh.

The man was waiting for a bus. He managed to, he started fiddling with the bench and managed to unscrew all eight screws by hand, he then dismantled it, put it in a bag and took a taxi home. Someone told the police, who then raided his flat. No. For the bench, he then pointed it out and said that he just liked the look of it and wants to take measurements so that he could have his own one. Oh, that might have been his excuse rather than... Oh, right. And then I'm just trying to look at what the detention actually was here. Yeah, people weren't happy about the squirrel being on board, so they said, get her off, get her off. It delayed the flight by two hours, that apparently.

committing mischief and thereby causing loss or damage amounting to $500 or above could have resulted in jail for up to two years with the bench thing but I think he just got some short detention right lines but it was valued at $1,500 that fashitty bus stop bench

there's no photo of the bench it's something because it's some bespoke piece of like special just council fucking stuff anyway there we go I think there's a video of the emotional support squirrel I think it's just a Snapchat of them waiting and queuing They made us deplane

Because a woman brought on a fucking squirrel Now the police just went on to remove her Wow Oh my god You don't go to plane without declaring your support animal first Just yeah Just sort of smuggle it in How did she even get it on?

You can't just take any animal you want On board and go Oh no, it's my emotional support model I have experience of getting dogs on planes It's a fucking hassle It's weird because we My parents own like a little flat in Spain and they take our dog on holiday quite often,

like a couple of times a year for like several months at a time. And weirdly, you're fine to fly the dog out from the UK to Europe, but to get from Europe to the UK, we have to fly within Europe to Amsterdam and then get the ferry across into the UK because you can't fly the animal from Europe to the UK, even though he flew it out. That's weird.

You can't bring it back in. Even though it's got a full on fucking UK, Europe passport, the shitheads. Yeah. Fuck sake. Europe. Sort it out. I want to fly my dog everywhere. Yeah, I'm glad we're leaving. Yeah, that'll make it way easier to get around.

Now my parents won't own a house in Spain anymore. Yay. Going back quick... That's my phone making noise, is it? Going back quickly to the... My emotional support blue bottle. It's flying around. Fuck's sake.

I'm not being facetious at people who require emotional support animals. I'm being facetious that now people have squirrels rather than dogs... Dravagant animals. Yeah. What's wrong with a hamster? Yeah, exactly. That does exist, right? I think an emotional support peacock.

I think I've seen that. Oh, actually, it does. Yeah. I was joking, but it does. According to City's ordinance, if any person over the age of 12 years shall engage in the activity commonly known as trick or treat. Trick or treat. Trick or treat. Trick or treat.

Trick or treat. Trick or treat. Trick or treat. Trick or treat. Or any other activity of similar character or nature under any name whatsoever, he or she shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be punished by a fine of not less than $25 nor more than $100 or by confinement in jail for not more than six months. What? So if you'd trick or treat.

As a 13 year old, you could spend up to half a year in jail. For getting some sweeties. That's fucking stupid, isn't it? I can understand it with what they have in the UK and maybe in other countries called mischief night, which is the worst fucking shit ever. I don't know who came up with it. It's either the day before or the day after Halloween, or the night, I should say, where there's no sweetie gathering involved, all you do is go round, like, throwing toilet paper

and eggs and, like, breaking windows, smashing up phone boxes. Is mischiefs for? Is mischief night? It's a real thing. It used to happen near me. Oh, really? Because it was one of the things that I heard about, but I never actually saw the Criminal Record night.

Yeah, it's just like which kids are the dickhead kids night. because they weren't out yesterday just getting like Tutsi Pops. They were out the following night, kicking in like Mrs. Bromsgroves. Who's Mrs. Bromsgrove? Who's that? I made her up. You made her up. You sure she sounds like a real person?

She's probably the woman I walked in on having a wee. Oh, lovely. Yeah. My goodness. Well, there we go. That was my thing. A quick question before we move on to Peter's thing. This is from John Deakin at John O'Deacon 20.

We have witnessed two. YouTube boxing events this year. If given the chance, would any of the videos take part in a future YouTube boxing event? If so, what YouTuber would you like to fight? I think we just call out the fucking heavy hitters. I think we go after PewDie Pie. Yeah. We go after

Casey Nystatt. We go after anyone with over 10 million subs. Louis Brinley. We got our fucking names out there. That's what we do. I don't mind getting knocked out by someone. That's free publicity friend. Oh, the amount of money you'd make off it. I'd get battered to shit by PewDie Pye for some clues. I'd fucking take a dive

against PewDie Pye for views and money. Depends how much money I would get. If I got like the Logan Paul kind of money, they got millions of dollars for that single fight. Do you think the videos they're going to get Logan Paul money for a boxing match? Sadly, might not happen. Because that's the other thing. You could just like say fuck it to your dignity and fall in like the second round.

You wouldn't even have to stand there for 10 rounds just getting absolutely pummeled and having your nose broken. You could just like take some punches and then in round two just fall on the floor. Coincidentally, Peter. Yeah. everybody who's taken part in a YouTube boxing event so far has said fuck it to their dignity

they have and they said fuck it to their dignity a long time before that yeah yeah well I mean in terms of like winning the match at least they try and win the match when they do it well did they well no they didn't they did they did it at all they tried to go on for

you know they try to make it look like a legitimate sporting whereas I would just I would throw it I mean at least WWE is called sports entertainment yeah you know who would I like to fight it got me something like the nerd

looking guy ever. Hey, resource here. I know Michael, Michael could fuck people up. He's a strong boy. He would know the physics of like exactly where to hit you. He'd poke you in like your shoulder blade and you'd collapse and fold in on yourself. He'd squish you like that cartridge at the end of the Vsource video. God, he would. And like green paint would come out of you.

Hey, resource. Michael here. Michael here. Oh, man, I don't know. Well, to answer that. I'd have to look at physics and the beginning of the universe. I'd maybe have a boxing match with one of the, those, like, 10-year-old girls that inexplicably has, like, 15 million subscribers because they just do a vlog every day with their dad, who knows how to produce videos.

God. Yeah. I'd better a child. I'd fight a child. I'd fight a Spider-Man and Elsa. Yeah? Two and one. That's a weird channel that, isn't it?

Assume there's more than one now. I'd fight them all. Elses. Yeah, the else's. Else's. Elses. Yeah, I'd fight them all at once. Come out of me, you fuckers.

You fuckers. Peter, yeah? Take us to that capi. I'm not I refuse I'm not a performing I'm not the man inside of Cocoa the gorilla who died

performing man inside the suit of a monkey that's fair but I had taken my weird capetia pill earlier today so I am going to go and need to take the antidote very quickly oh well see I don't like to do it every week just a rare treat almost every week

yeah almost every I don't want to over weird capetia everyone this week all I wanted to do was ask you guys, simple, simple little question. Oh. I'm doing the Michael Johnson format here. Fuck. Okay.

The lazy man's approach. I want to, I'm slightly worried, actually. We've already done this. I've sat through this whole podcast thinking, I know what I'm going to ask for my thing. Yeah, it's scary when you bring a question, isn't it? Because it's like, fuck. Have we done video game music, soundtracks? Oh, God.

No. I want to know if you have a favorite, either a specific composer or just like the favorite soundtrack of a game, if you don't know who the composer is. Monty on the run for the Commodore 64. The title theme for that game is fucking amazing. Oh, really? Dundundund dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunn. Have you played it?

I have, yeah. I own it on cassette as well. Wow. Yeah. Nice. I went to a gig. Nurg. It was playing.

No, North East Retro gaming. Okay. He and Michael went together. Oh, that's right. It was playing. I won the Commodore 64's there. I was like, oh, I recognize this song. Oh, it's from a game.

Oh, I went home. I bid the game for like a tenor. Oh. You talk about yours, well, I quickly, actually, see how quickly I can do this. But it's, it is a masterpiece, because the Commodore 64 is so, like, just limited in what it's actually capable of doing. To get something sounding so good, on the road in C-64, it's a fucking beauty of a track.

Oh, that's me listening. It's jumped ahead because I listened to it the other day. Oh. Oh, my God. I don't think it takes long to kick in. By Rob Hubbard, not the guy who did Scientology. Yes. Slightly different guy.

I'll play like five seconds of like the actual me. See the guy directed solo? Very good. Nice. Oh. That's pretty goddamn cool. That was pretty good. That was pretty good.

I have a few. I mean, Journey's soundtrack is unbelievable. That's Austin Wintery. I have no actual real answer for this. I just went for a song or like rather than me. That's great. That's fair. You did good, man.

That's good. Flower as well from that game company as well. That was Vincent Diamante, I believe. That was excellent. The soundtrack for Mass Effect 2 was incredible. I really love, I think, more than any other GTA theme song, the theme song for GTA 4, which is one of the lesser-loved GTA games.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Dund-ton-ton-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-tun-tun-tun-tun-tun-tun-tent-tun-litt-litt. I think that's fucking great. And then if we're going for, I mean, there's fucking loads. Like, The Last of Us has an incredible soundtrack. But if I was going to go for one that's like a, like a, just a compilation of loads of different songs, Tony Hawk's Pro Skated too. Oh, fuck yeah. Fucking awesome soundtrack.

Yeah, that defined many people's music taste, didn't it? Absolutely. It's wicked. Yeah. Peter. Well, in terms of actual composers, I think Jeremy Sewell, if that's how it's pronounced. Oh, yes, he's fantastic. Like one of the most talented video game composer.

Isn't he meant to be a really weird guy, Jeremy Saul? Is he? Isn't he like, there's some, I swear there's some scandal pending. Oh, okay. his music is amazing. It is. He's done so many games that you know and love.

He's obviously, he's done like all of the, or maybe not all, but certainly the Morrow Wind onwards Elder Scrolls games. I think he does Elder Scrolls Online as well. He's done Dungeon Siege.

That was pretty good. He did the Harry Potter games. Oh, cute. Which all have really good soundtracks. Guild Wars as well. That's like the only MMO I've ever played. I never touched World Warcraft. I bought that and I couldn't install it

on my computer. Oh no. But that had a really nice soundtrack. It's very orchestral. and he also did Boulder's Gate Dark Alliance which is like one of my favorite Yes two games all the time

Nice I also like there's this double act called Andy Blythe and Martin I know if it's pronounced Juistra or Jaustra It's J-O-U-S-T-R-A Yeah

Geostra and he has done He did the Toy Story 2 game on PS1 Oh wow As well as A Bug's Life On PS1 Oh you're a big fan

Yeah okay And Haven Call of the King On PS2 And, like, they use these, like, very natural sounding instruments. They use a lot of, like, kind of woody sounds. And, I don't know, it's all quite kind of, I don't know. I'm trying to think of a word that's probably not offensive anymore. I think it's okay to say ethnic music, isn't it?

Is that okay? It's a bit grandma, but it's fine. I think that is actually an actual technical term in the music industry, is to talk about ethnic, essentially non-Western instruments, you know, from like South America and like Africa and stuff. Yeah, I can picture it, yeah. Yeah.

They're pretty talented guys too. Jeremy Searle can't find any dirt on him. There's certainly a composer who I've heard is like, it's a shame that he's a something or other. But it's none of these guys, so we're safe. Metal Gear Sol 1 are such a good situation. Oh, it just absolutely adore everything about that soundtrack.

Yeah, that's a good one. Metal Gear 3, fucking brilliant. I think that's my God. I don't know, two and three were good, but like just Metal Gisub 1 had like that weird kind of like where they couldn't quite have MP3s for soundtracks so it's all kind of still synthi base and it's all reproducing in game

another one. Speaking exactly like that because they did exactly the same thing for Final Fantasy 7. Yeah. Nobuo Uemezzo, I think his name is Uamatsu or something. He's done the soundtrack for a number of Final Fantasy game. Seven soundtrack is amazing just like Metal Gear Solid 1 they couldn't

use an actual score. But it still sounds like really punchy. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. It's basically just like Like, they manipulate the sounds in engine. It's just, like, the stuff they managed to do is fucking insane. Yeah. Pokemon games as well, the early ones. Nice.

They had amazing soundtracks, too. All that music. Yeah. I wouldn't even say, like, he's up there with the video game composers, but Stuart Copeland did a great job on Spiro 1-203. I mean, that's, I think that's pretty much all he's done for video games, but still, you know. And what bands are the drum again? Oh, the police.

He was the drummer. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Fuck. He's done a track for the new game as well. he's done the menu track that's fun I bet you got paid loads for that

absolutely absolute bomb well incredible thank you Peter what a wonderful thing we don't often talk about games in depth on here which a lot of people don't seem to realise because every week we ask for questions we do get a lot of questions and I'm going to politely tell people

maybe not to ask them about what would be our dream game that we could make with an unlimited budget or like all that kind of stuff it's not really bless you I'm allergic to the question shit questions It's not really a gaming podcast.

We all like our video games, but it's not really a video game podcast. Equally, it's not really a wrestling podcast. You can stop asking what we think about wrestling things as well. Because I don't have any thoughts on it. I mean either. Yeah, I do, but this is not the time. Thank you, though. We love your questions.

Thanks. We just have time for one more of those wonderful questions. Oh, boy. This comes from Bjorn Q at Bjorn Q. If you could swap bodies with anyone in the world for 24 hours, who would you choose? Michael may want to stay clear of those naughty. murderers as they might boppist someone while in his body. Oh, shit.

Of course. The body form has many uses. Body form for you. Mark Zuckerberg, I'd just hit the fucking delete button on everything. Everything. Imagine the chaos you would cause. Like, yeah, just imagine ending Facebook. Or maybe I'd do like a big data breach and just say, here's everything, here's everything we've

been doing. So you would do, you would actually try to affect some kind of change with your body swap. What were you saying? You would just... No, I'd be really fucking selfish. Like, I have been with every question I've ever been asked because I'm a human being. Who would you be then? I would want to swap bodies with someone who is incredibly affluent and just sit there and have the best fucking day.

Baving KFC. Yeah, I mean, yes, inevitably that is where it would go. Maybe at the end, if not the whole day. But I would just go be somewhere and be someone who could have anything they wanted. Maybe that person, when they're in your body, they wouldn't necessarily. so you know it's only going to last 24 hours. They might think, oh, this is me now. So they might start putting steps in place to suddenly earn loads of money.

As long as they write it all down. And then you'd get back to your body. And then similarly, Michael, imagine if you swapped with Zuckerberg and you were just nuking like everything on the internet, he would be able to see the news stories coming through in your body. He'd just be Michael Johnson. He'd just be like, what the fuck is this guy doing to my body? They'd be stuck in Bristol. I'm Mark Zuckerberg.

I'm Mark Zuckerberg. Michael, you're all right. It's like that freaky Friday video from Little Dickie where he swaps body. with Chris Brown. Yeah. Actually, and also I think I've thought another thing I'd do as Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah. Heroin.

Yeah? Never going to get the chance to do that again, really. That's true, I suppose. Because, like, I was thinking, well, if I swap bodies with a heroin addict, there's a chance that when he swapped in my body, he'll get my body addicted to heroin. So I think Mark Zuckerberg, I don't think he has got a heroin habit that we know of. Well, now we're going to give him one. Yeah.

So it's all right for you to give Mark Zuckerberg a heroin habit. He's not even human. But not for someone to do it in your body. That's not allowed. I don't stand for that. It's a shame that the sort of arbitrary rules of this pretend scenario are that it kind of works like a VPN in that whoever you swap with is just going in your body because they would have enough time to work out where they are, where you live, who you are. Oh my God.

All that kind of stuff. And when swore back, it's like, I know who did this. Oh, shit. You'd probably try and track, track them down. So you wouldn't want to do too much. immediate thought was then oh but what if i like if they were going to start me on the road to financial success i wouldn't start them on the road to financial ruin but what i would do is probably make out a big check to me and then but this is the opportunity to make friends with a really

powerful person who you bonded over a very unique experience oh true and so if you didn't fuck them over if you took the opportunity to swap with someone you jesh it towards me there as if deleting their entire business and doing heroin isn't fucking him over Maybe a robot, but that means he doesn't have emotions and he would come for you afterwards. Yeah, like terminate, fuck. I would want to make friends with the powerful boys and girls. Yeah. God.

I don't know who I'd swap with. Maybe just Michael Johnson, just to see what it's like in his head. Oh, God, yeah. Oh. So if you transported bodies, would you be in my head or your own head? Well, yeah, probably be in my own head. I don't know. So you just have this farty body to take care of it and that's it.

You don't get any of the joys. No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't swap with Mikey. I would, uh, oh, I don't know. I mean, now that you've said, Ben, that you could just swap into the body of an incredibly affluent person. Like, why would you not do that? Like, yeah, I think you're probably right. You don't have a bad time, too you.

Or you could swap into the body of someone who, like, knows, or is very close to someone who knows, like, secrets that you want to know. Like, I could maybe swap into the body of Kathleen Kennedy and find out what's going to happen in Star Wars 9. Or something like that. Or, you know, something like that. You know, that's kind of exciting. And they would have these secrets that I could take with me.

And boobs. Or play. and boobs and then I could like maybe place a bet like I could go to like you know oh yeah

inside a trading I could go to Ladbrooks and say hey I'll bet you that Star Wars episode nine ends with Chewbacher shooting himself in the head out of grief

they were like no it's not going to happen a million a one and then I'd win all the money you'd do it and without upsetting anyone Kathleen Kennedy would think I'd just I know she'd know wouldn't she

because she'd been in my body yes oh shit yeah to see that the thinking about it makes it much less you know it's tricky fun it's a tricky one that we don't think about things well there we are thank you very much for your questions thank you very much for your things gentlemen we've just got some ad mint to get through if you want to buy our new merch which hopefully is coming very soon we're still waiting on the samples yeah it's hopefully come soon it's as close to being live as it can be we just need to make a video about it and we're currently just waiting on the samples to come in yeah so at the time of recorded. It's the case of clicking a button on the shop to make it public right now.

So it's close. It's close. It's really close. So if it is live, you'll have seen it. We're recording in advance. Can I get paid in advance? Sure. Store.orgscast.com. Just search for vidiates on there. You'll find us where we're in the drop down, etc. Make sure you go to our YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all forward slash vidiates official. Come on, fellas. Vidiots official. We do way more Twitch than we used to. Yeah. So make sure you come over to Twitch.tv also forward slash vidiots official. A huge thank you. our patrons. We don't thank you enough. We mainly only thank you on here because we'd like to

treat our Patreon as sort of a tip jar. We don't like to publicise it too much. If you want to support us, you can throw us a couple of dollars that way. It's totally up to you. No content will ever be gated behind it, so you don't worry about now. And that's at patreon.com forward slash idiots official. All done, boys. At this is rules boss for constant advice on rules. Never any advice. He's ready and standing by. Also, bombs maybe. He might give you some bomb advice if you asked politely. He did all right at that, didn't he? Yeah. Okay. At Billy Ray Botrus for daily automated sad tweets from our Billy. Bit.L.W.F.S.Vidates Discord. If you want to join our group of fun and friendly and slightly strange people,

who like to chat all day, every day, every damn day. And tell your friends vidiots at gmail.com if you want to submit an ident to go at the start of one of our videos. Do it. Stop sending them over Facebook. Please, please stop. We love you. Film them. And landscape. Landscape. Be nice. Landscape and email. Before you send it, watch the clip. Make sure it's not cut out halfway through.

Make sure that you can actually hear yourself. So your friends. They genuinely, we do get quite a lot like that. We do. Just watch it and make sure, you know, would you think is this an acceptable quality? Did you see the one at the start of, what was the most recent worst games ever that went out?

I'm trying to remember what the game was. Oh, the one with Bin Laden. Yeah. Did you see the one at the start of that? It was the most adorable child. Yeah. She just goes, tie your friends videos

like that nice she's very sweet and then we beat the shit of bin Laden yeah well I thought it was fitting yeah I put that one at the start of very appropriate

America's 10 most wanted my birthday intro for the Portsum Tat was fucking amazing I've been wanting to use that one for ages just like the slow clock wipe

of small monkey John Deer just like just so people aren't concerned that Michael edited his own birthday video I did that you don't we make Michael work on his birthday

on his own birthday stuff all of that Michael bought his own cake as well. Michael bought his own cake. All the tat, he bought his own presents. Yeah,

the tat wasn't sent by anyone. He just packaged it up. He got to like two days before we shot that. I was like, oh, this is a bit worrying. There's nothing here. So I just bought a lot of shit.

It also wasn't even his birthday. We just pretended. Yeah. His birthday was like six years ago. He's been dead the whole time. My birthday was a month ago, but you guys forgot. Oh,

fuck. That's embarrassing. It would have gotten you of a non-vegan cake then, I imagine as well. We really, really did. Yeah, we did actually do that. We did fuck that right up.

That's a real one. We didn't even think for a second that that would have been an issue. Like, oh shit, he can't have eggs or butter or anything. Oh, milk. Damn it. Finally, what's coming out this week on the channel? We've got post some tap. We've got Prove It starting.

We've got another Prove It. Worst games ever, Sunday, Fun Day and loads of streams. So make sure you, again, check our social medias for more information on that. Also, leave us a review on iTunes or your platform of choice. It really helps things. We're on like the front. page of the comedy section for podcasts on Spotify. I don't know if that's random or what, but we're on there.

It's lovely. Thank you very much for supporting us and getting us there. Guys, do we have a question? Yes. I want the audience to tell us their favourite video game soundtracks. Oh. Because I want to actually listen to some. There you go.

Even better if you, or maybe don't post a load of YouTube links in the comments. That would be kind of lame. You could just say the song names or whatever. Yeah, we can. At that Peter Austin. No. There we go. Non-stop.

DM Peter Austin. And if he doesn't reply, just keep tweeting him. Come around my house, knock on the door, and say, hey. Here's my favourite one. Let's listen to it together. I haven't showered. Yeah. Give us the name of the track in the comments, and we can find it on the YouTube. Name of the track and name of the game, of course. Name of the game.

Brilliant. Thank you very much, everybody. We'll be back in a couple of weeks' time for more poddiats. Until then, stay tuned to the video's various things for more of us. Yeah, boy. We'll see you next time. Thanks for listening, everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye. Having taken down a muchy one,

it's time to get some real shit done. Slowly working their way down to the hellhole blighty town. A duo clearing their path quickly cutting away. Feel the pisserated rat. From a club if you're, choose to stay.

Barbara's got her axe as well. She could use it that if he swells. Spark has learned to do a backflip. Maybe that'll help this trip. A duo clear in their path, quickly cut it away. Feel the pisserated rat. from a club if you choose to stay

Now there's someone new A sack on her head She looks like Barbara too Her blade will kill you dead A trio clear in their path Quickly cut it away and rap proma club if you choose to stay