Podiots - Podiots: Episode 2 - Doing A Dahmer

Episode Date: March 20, 2018

Here we go again! Ben talks BAFTA, Peter had a scarecut (see: haircut and scare), and Michael rates serial killers. We're proudly sponsored by Turtle Beach! Get the Turtle Beach Headsets we wear:��http://bit.ly/vidiotsbeach YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vidiotsofficial Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Maybe it's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had childhood stories or memories. Yeah, we're around either watching these commercials on TV

or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us. Maybe it's Vabelaine. Maybe it's Vableane. Yeah, just there. Thank you, Dave. Oh, cheers, Dave. Thanks, Dave, you're a star.

Dave there, giving us our podcast beverages. See like Dave. Bye, Dave. Bye, Dave. Oh, he's shy. He's not saying anything. Oh, Dave. Bye at Dave on Twitter.

There he goes. There goes our hero. Watch him as he goes. He goes. Watch him as he goes. He's a good boy that day, isn't he? Who does that song? Food Fighters.

Is it Food Fighters? Nickelback. Some 41. Green Day. The Beatles. The Sopranos. I saw Foo Fathers Live at Leeds Festival and I was not fuss about it. Everyone hails them as like, this is the best live band you'll ever see.

And I was thoroughly like, okay. The best. The best live band. I like the Foo Fighters. Do you? I used to love them like the Monkey Wrench era. I was disappointed at about age nine

when I discovered they weren't called the food fighters. Yeah, that was a difficult blow to deal with, wasn't it? They're a bit dad rock. Yeah, nothing wrong with dad rock. I like the dad rock. It's very easy to listen to. It's nothing too provocative.

They're all just singing about... Provorative. Perforfeiteroles. They're just singing about proffiteroles and a shoe pastry-based desserts. Nothing too... frightening out there. They should be called the food fighters, really. They should. I think, talking about custard pies all the time. If you, if you want to rebrand and be relevant,

Dave, David Grohl, let us know. David Gruel. Nice. Grail. David. Hello everyone and welcome to episode two of Poddietz. Wow. It's the official podcast of the Vidyat's YouTube. Two whole episodes.

Who thought we'd make it this far? What an achievement. Wow, we. Unbelievable. It was like at the beginning of every podcast. Like, wow, we've done 15 episodes, guys. This is amazing. It's incredible.

It's immediately feeling very warm in here. Yeah, it is very toasty. Are we able to control any of the air conditioning? Because usually in these rooms, it's really cold. You get Dave to do it, maybe. Dave's gone now. We only get one, it's like a genie. We get one wish a day.

And then that's it. We've got a drinks, so that's enough to keep. It's nothing like a genie. I know the genie of the lump, you get one wish a day. Well, you clearly have never met a salaried genie. No, I'm not. Who's on retainer, but you only get one a day. A privatised genie.

Exactly. Yeah, like booper genies. Now, I'm always on the national genies, NGS. Private health genius. Yeah. Delicious. Before we go any further, guys, just need to let everyone know that we're wearing our very comfortable and delightful turtle beach headset.

They're good. So comfortable, I could almost fall asleep. Mikey I don't know if that's a do we Oh I just got walking up by just how comfortable these headphones are The snoring is not indicative of the

Bordom that Turtle Beach Oh no they never does ever Insights as a brand In your seriousness They have like special padding for if you wear glasses and stuff Like we sound a bit insincere They're actually they're good headsets They're wonderful headsets

You can actually have a look at their entire range of headsets by going to bit. 0.ly forward slash vidiate speech. Vidiate speech. That's the one. They actually sponsor this podcast. Hey, thanks guys. They don't, but we've sort of decided that they have.

They sponsor videos in general. They sponsor us and we just want to shout about it. So make sure you go and just just go to that link really. Just do everything you can. Thanks. Also, very quick thank you to our incredible Patrions. We don't talk about Patreon much because it's, we're modest boys.

Yeah. And it's sort of, as we've said before, it acts as a tip jar. So if you like what we're doing, you can throw a couple of dollary-dos in there. And that's absolutely fine. It just helps us to buy stupid things every now and then. But that's up to like $200 now. It's crazy. Yeah, people are very generous.

You're all wonderful. Stop. Don't stop, but stop. You're going to get billed soon. And then we'll see who the real facts are month one. That's the thing with Patreon, isn't it? People put like $5 on month one. A couple of people have done 10.

10 as well. Jesus. That's fine if you want to do a once-off donation. That's like 10 times the amount of those fucking cheap skates doing it. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Are you aware of the origin of that phrase? A gift horse in the mouth? Was it sort of a colleague of Dave's,

sort of a genie magic horse that provided delicious gifts? No, the gift horse. Yeah, the gift horse. No, it's the idea that if someone gives you a free horse, i.e. if someone goes on your Patreon and just gives you money for free, I wish people could give us horses instead of money Oh my, imagine that Ride a stallion into work, it'd be great

Well, what would you do? It'd be like post some tat all over again Once you get... One horse Once you get like six boxes in a day You start to think, okay I shouldn't have asked for horses This might be a bit unsustainable

I'd have like an army of horses It'd be great Oh my God, sorry Pete That's okay Send us horses Your gift horse Yeah, so the phrase obviously means Don't start picking apart

Something that was given to you for free Right? Don't complain Well, if someone gave you a horse in the olden days, you know, that period, sort of between 1,200 and 1,800. Yeah. If you looked it in the mouth, that was something that you do when you're, like, giving a horse a health check

on whether you want to buy this horse or not. So if someone gave it to you for free, and they're like, well, let me have a look at its teeth first before I take that sort of disrespectful. You still want to be given an ill horse. A little horse is a big burden. I think it's only responsible to inspect the health of the horse. Yeah.

What a ridiculous thing. You would have disrespected. So many people in that large, large time scale, Peter listed there. We all know that MJ would not fit in well in any kind of pre-Victorian era. What do you mean? Yeah, I mean, the town crier. Michael, you've seen the list of reasons people were locked up in mental institutions. Yeah.

Just for being like pregnant. Yeah. Oh, it was a bit too enthusiastic today. Let's lock him up. She reads. She reads books. One her away. Michael's pulling that.

face again a lot of people have been asking gentlemen where's where's potty it's episode two what's going on i feel like we did say that it is a fortnightly podcast but for those of you still listening that don't know it's once every two weeks yeah that's why it's it's been two weeks since the last one and the next one it'll be two weeks from today whoa sorry to get that's amazing wow we also we are trying to get on spotify i'm just getting all this boring admin stuff because I just made a note and I don't want to, I want people to pay attention for fuck's sake. Some premium content coming up, believe us.

Actual premium content that we paid money for and everything. Spotify is a possibility for the podcast, but we can only get on there after five episodes. This is technically the third episode because we have that other file. Oh, God. So very soon we'll be submitting to Spotify, but we are available now on iTunes and Podbean if you want to do that. Nice.

Also, should we have a quick chat about posting? some tat and the sort of unsustainable ridiculous format. It's not unsustainable. Keep sending. You know what? Double which you're sending things. I love it. We should address that in post some tat, right? Or maybe in addition. We can say it now. We can do like a deep dive

here, whereas on, in video, we'll spend the entire hour talking about the sheer amount of tat. It's not complaining. No. We're very fortunate and we knew what we were doing and we love you so much for sending us so much wonderful stuff. But it is arriving very fast. We

had to shoot two episodes almost back to back. We've got 100 games now, right? We do. Yeah, we're all over 100 games. Jesus. It's mental. And it just keeps going more insane. So if there's some kind of format change soon

where we aren't able to open everybody's stuff guaranteed every episode, don't be too surprised. I feel like we might, we probably still hopefully open everything, but we might have to sort of skim over some of the letters or just sort of oh look it's some sweets thank you and like that's it we'll have to condense because otherwise these videos are going to be 45 minutes long

and it's going to be like every couple of days at this rate it's insane because the other day we recorded a post some tat and when we came out of the room we went back to our desk and there was already a pile of new post waiting for us it was mental

so we're no less grateful but we might just have to change the format slightly absolutely thank you all thank you very much for listening to this PSA It's public service? Poddy at service announcement. There we go.

There we go. Let's start with a question. Oh, shall we? Yeah. Space things. This is from, oh, at Mr. Nathan Mister. From? Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, it's Mr. Nathan Mister. Oh, says one recipe slash food item you have seen that is so ridiculous, large, fatty, whatever, that it wouldn't be a good idea to eat it, but in the back of your mind, you want to try it one day regardless. Your screw-it meal.

So sort of like your death row meal. Okay. What would it be? Yeah, thank you. Thank you. You dick. I had French toast at the weekend, and that was quite a ridiculous amount of toast. When you say French toast, do you mean fried bread, or is it different?

Like egg, milk, cinnamon, dip the bread in it, fry it. That's nice. But I went out and I bought like a nice farmhouse loaf so I could cut it nice and thick. So I made like the slices about an inch thick. Maybe, I don't know, is that about an inch? I'm holding up right now. That's like a three-quarter inch. Okay.

Well, I say an inch. Simplicity sake. Yeah, well, you always do that. You always overblow your measurements. Oh, Peter. M.J. It's bigger than average, all right? So I made huge bits of French toast.

Yeah. I made two of them. And then I put loads of syrup on. I was like, oh, this is a lot of food. Too much. It's ambitious. What have I done? I ate it all.

And I felt very sick for the rest of the rest of the. Sunday. Do you have one, Ben? Oh, yeah. Like, no doubt. What? Like, like, ridiculous. Like, not talking... Well, speaking of Michael's thing. Yeah. I was thought the idea of fried bread was, like, such an incredible game-changing thing, and I'd never really had it before.

Yeah. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I assumed, well, I've got oil and I've got bread. Yeah. Oh, no, Ben. Oh, no. This was while I was at university. I put so much oil into this plant And then I just cooked like Seven or eight slices of bread in it

And I took out No, no, no, no It was like, it did it right It was crisped Oh God And it was like drenched in oil And so I took them out So the main flavour you're getting there is oil

Oh yeah, just oil It's just oil You may as well just dunk the bread in the oil Yeah, yeah I agree because that is the closest to I should have thrown up Why did you make a Like, why do you make seven, eight slices?

Just eyes bigger than your stomach, you know? That's, I mean, there's a difference between being a bit hungry and making seven, eight slices of oily toast. It was gluttony. It was gluttony. I took it upstairs and I was doing the thing where you're like, you're constantly swallowing. Oh, yeah, like a film in your mouth.

You're trying to stop, like, keep the gag reflex. I feel a bit sick just even thinking about it. I bet you were so clammy and like... I was, I felt really on. Basically, I just drank. I consumed about maybe two or three hundred, milliliters of oil. So you push yourself very close to a heart attack that day.

Do you think all the water in your body sank to the bottom? Maybe. If I jumped around, every little globules of oil, going all over the place. It's possible, yeah, absolutely. But in terms of an actual meal, it's got a 100% be, I don't know if it'll ever happen.

And given the price, probably not. But there's a place nearby. Oh, yeah. Called Snappie's tomato pizza. Oh, Jesus. They do square pizzas, which in and of itself is enough of a novelty

for me to be a big fan. You get more pizza. Exactly. It fills the entire box. It's magic. Brought to my attention by Michael Johnson. Yes, boys. And they're great.

This podcast isn't sponsored by them, but they're wonderful. And I'm a big fan. Yeah, Snappies, if you want to sponsor us, please do. They have a meal deal that's 40 pounds, and you get something like a, I can't remember exactly what it is

but you get like a 25 inch square pizza it's like called monster pizza he comes with like seven garlic breads several ice creams and just the I would never be able to make a dent in that but just the idea of it is very

sort of sexy to me I was going to say daunting not sexy but yeah I mean this is Mr. Oily Bread over here I just do shots of olive oil that said and I'm going to call it again Michael Johnson ate silica gel once Oh did

We just get over it please I was a kid I don't think we've properly said it on a video No but you mention it every fucking day Don't you Yeah but I just want to I want to get it out there on the channel Yes I ate a little packet of silica gel

When I was a kid I think it's just because it's Pekle Johnson Isn't it? Yeah I was a little kid I was excited I just got some new DC shoes Because I was going to skateboarding

So I went took my shoebox outside show my friends, like, oh, look at these nice new shoes. Oh, what is? A little packet of silica gel. Do not eat. What did it say on the packet? Do not eat. So what did you do? I thought, oh, I'm going to eat it. I'll give that try. That looks delicious.

And what did it do to you? So I ripped it open. I put like maybe half the packet at my mouth and kind of it slid down my throat. And then eventually just stopped sliding and got stuck to my throat. And surprisingly, it made my throat feel very dry. Yeah, because that's what it's meant to do. It's like a dehumidifying little packet of... gets rid of it, doesn't it? Granules. You know what I always say? YOLO. Yeah? Yeah, not for very long. No. Yeah. You only live for one hour. Yeah, exactly. So it's a

miracle that Michael didn't asphyxiate himself as a child. Yeah. And it's amazing I didn't have some kind of cardiac issue almost immediately in my late teens. What are you, what are you bringing to the table here, Peter? I don't know. I can't really think of like anything that's so sort of horribly gluttonous. In terms of like something that's kind of greasy. And kind of gross. I used to have 9 a.m. lectures, like two or three times a week at uni. Yeah. And after my lecture, I'd come back at like 10 or 11.

And I'd go in the kitchen. I'd put some toast on. I'd then melt cheese onto the toast in the oven. And while that is melting, and I would do thick slices. It would be like almost as thick as the bread. Like bread and then cheese. So that bad pizza we made I mean the amazing pizza made

where it was just great big hunks of cheese that don't melt properly. Right, so you wanted sweaty cheese. It was almost sweaty cheese but I did leave it in long enough to melt so it was properly melted. Okay. And while it's melting,

I would grill some bacon. I would then put the bacon again, greasy, oily onto thick ass cheese onto white bread and I would eat it and I would enjoy it. And then one time,

while I was eating it. We actually had a cleaner for our kitchen, for halls. Was she the one who found you? Yeah, she did. I was just sitting down eating this, and the cleaner came in. And she was a nice lady. She said hi. And she didn't address the fact that I was eating this thing.

But at that point, I stopped. So you knew what you were doing was wrong. Oh, yeah. Do you have a name for it? Diabetes, I think. Okay. Heart disease. I've admittedly grown a lot more bold with my culinary disgustings.

He's gone up to 12 slices. Since I are, mate, the oily bread, that's like a, that's a ritual for me now. I've become a lot more bold since I have lived alone. Right. You've tried real food. Well, no, no, I mean as in like, it's worse. Oh, oh no. Because before I had that, there's a shame element, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. You don't want to do it because you're afraid of judgment. Like, I didn't want to go into the kitchen when, my housemates were around anyway. And just because I had to... Well, no, just because I had to deal with it. Oh, right, yeah. Yeah, agreed.

Not that I had anything against them. It's just, you know, people are very tiring. People are people. And so, yeah, I'd, like, when I knew everyone else was out, I was like, oh, God, God, I'm going to do, like, a cheese toasty, but I'm going to put a little bit of, like, Frankfurter in there. Oh, that'll be well good. That'll be delightful.

But now, it's like, what can I put in? Chocolate spread. I don't know. Fucking dog. I was just about to say the cat, yeah. I wish I had chocolate spread for my French toast. I realized, like, he asked for, like, a dream gluttonous meal, and I've said two slices of French toast.

And silica gel. Yeah, but because, like, I'm not in that hungry mindset right now, so I can't fantasize about food. Yeah, I can't really think about. I've just drank kind of lilt, so I'm satisfied. I'm like, what would satisfy me right now is when I sit down, and I've already got that. I really like giant burgers with, like, two parties.

Three brothers is a good. Loads of cheese, loads of bacon. You should have had the burger I had there You couldn't even see the burger patty Because of the bacon I wasn't feeling up to it I don't remember why Or maybe I just didn't want to spend like 12 quid

Or whatever it was obscenly expensive But you know You've got to treat yourself right I could probably just eat like two blocks Of Pallumi if I tried Oh yeah I think anyone could Right the squeaky cheese The squeaky cheese

Sorry I'll stop talking about food now Continue who would like to go first Who wants to bring their special special treat to the table. I think you should go first this time. Yeah? Or is yours? No, mine is, I think, quite tame in comparison to your guys' stuff.

Okay. It's about when Peter and I went to BAFTA. Oh, yeah. Last week. Which sounds made up. It does sound made up, but it's very real. It's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very real. I promise you.

It is kind of ridiculous. Hopefully people are familiar with BAFTA, but if you're not, it's a very prestigious institution in the UK, the British Academy film television awards? Awards, yeah, or art or something like that. We don't even know what the acronym is and we went. And they're very posh. They all dress up in suits. Yeah, to the point where we wanted to, we wondered whether we had to wear a suit. Yeah, that was, I'd have my suit with me here. I have an itinerary of like, of how it went. But even, we were there for the game portion. It's sort of like

the UK's answer to the Oscars, if you will. but a little bit, but very British. Very, very British. And they even recognise games. So they have an entire games division and even that is like proper upmarket stuff. Like I remember Notch was receiving some award

and he was upset that he was told he had to wear a suit. Really? Oh, fuck Notch. He can shut on a guy who would... What a dicket. He had to wear his shit hat. Notch, you and your shit hat. Just fuck off already, please.

fucking you and your shit hats you can afford a suit and you can afford not to wear a hat notch to wear a hat so last Wednesday our good friend Dave at Dave Dave on Twitter at Dave on Twitter asked us

if we'd be up for being a last minute replacement on the BAFTA Game Awards nomination stream to which we were like sorry it sounded a bit like you said the BAFTA Game Awards nomination stream then exactly so we under about it for a bit. We also shot

a worse games, I think, in that time as well. Yeah, yeah. And then afterwards we got more detail because we didn't know because it was the day before. We didn't know what the dress code was. We didn't know, we were honestly not sure if we'd have played any of the games because as much as we enjoy video games, we don't

play everything. We can't play everything. It's impossible. We're not journalists. We're just idiots. We're just idiots on the internet. We are just total fucking buffoons. So then eventually, we decided to do it Michael wanted to not

Oh I tapped out in about five seconds of hearing about it I was like fuck that I can't do that But they only wanted one person That's the thing That was our one demand was that If we were going to do it We have to do it as a duo

To maintain the Anton Dex style Well that was probably the argument We would have given But I think partly it was because Between us we thought We had more chance of knowing Enough of the games But if one of us went in

It would not be a good hit rate I don't think That's very true Is it acceptable? No, it's not going to be okay to make jokes about Anten Deck, is it? Oh, God. Oh, poor. I was going to say, which one's going to go into rehab? Probably me once I'd do some more fucking oil shots. Yeah, go ahead. Please, Ben, stop for your family.

So, just like that, we've somehow ended up as part of a panel of, and I quote, experts. Experts. On this BAFTA. He did look very smart. He looked respectable. The texts, we were sending each other the night before. It was like, I'm going to be wearing these shoes.

Okay. Well, I've got some brown jeans. shoes. Right. Well, I'm going to be wearing this shirt and like a smart pair of black jeans. Because Peter and I don't have a suit. No. Well, I've got one, but it's at my parents' house. Oh, I have one, but it's way too big for me because it was like from several years ago. Yeah. And I have... Have you shrunk? You're just getting

tiny and tinier. I used to be 16 stone. Damn son. Yeah. Damn son. I used to be a big old boy. You used to have 16 slices of fried oil bread. I did. No, that was that time. Oh, was it? Yeah, it was. It all makes sense. No way. The gluttony is not gone. But the, the desire is very much is very real you work out pretty well you do you do a good job point like I try anyway that's not the point um that's why I have a big suit I have one shirt yeah in my entire

wardrobe that fits me and that was the one shirt that I that I had to wear I have one pair of nice shoes and then we were texting each other like two girls before the the year 11 leavers ball going like we sent it to our girlfriends as well yeah it's finally like you boy, you stinky boys understand what it's like to go literally anywhere with the group of girls. I'm wearing this dress and I don't know if I'm wear these trousers with these shoes. What do you think? And like literally

we were laying out our clothes on the bed and like sending pictures to each other. Or at least I wanted to be fair to you. Like I didn't want to show up suddenly with smart shoes if you were going to wear trainers because I didn't want to be a dickhead. Like I just wanted to make sure that we're on the, you know. Yeah, me too. Not that I thought I could out style you in any capacity with my

one shirt. Well, you didn't have a choice. Your shirt was nice. I really liked it. I'm just looking at a picture of you do now. Yeah. No, you both did well. It's a nice shirt. Very well done. There are photos on our Facebook page if you want to go and see it.

FI. Fee. So then we had to wake up at 4.30 the next day. The car, did it pick you up at like 10 to 5? Yeah. Came early. Got to mine for 5. Yeah, it came early for me as well.

And then we got there at about 8. Because, and here's the thing that pisses me off about trains. Buckle up It's that they're so fucking expensive That it's cheaper to get a private car From Bristol to the centre of London Than it is to get two Peak Time rail tickets

How fucked up is that Yeah, it's terrifying So we get there at 8 We go into the very fancy BAFTA building And they've got the BAFTA mask Statuettes on the wall With one eye Yeah with the sort of winky face

Is that like the normal design Or is that like where they hide the cameras inside that disappeared eye. It's not some kind of like Terminator Cyborg situation or it might be. I don't know what the origin of that is. So there were loads of those. We went up the stairs. There was a weirdly severe

receptionist. Yeah, he was very strange. He was like very like I am in an esteemed position. He's not just some intern. Please sign in. Yeah, please sign in. So we had to sign in and we were sort of joking back and was like, oh, what's the date? And he was just like completely black.

thanked us. As soon as he gave us a pen. It was worse on the way out, which I'm sure you'll get to. Yeah, we'll get, yeah, that guy was like, he was a dick. Yeah. So then we went up a couple of floors, wandered through this cafe and met our contact. Ryan, who's very lovely, must say, and I'll repeat it again at the end. Everyone we encountered was delightful. Apart from the receptionist, apart from the receptionist.

And it was a lovely time. So we wandered through the cafe, met Ryan, who took us up to our little study room, where we met the host of the panel, Julia Hardy, who's from Radio One. Tomor Hussein, who's the UK editor at GameSpot, and Alicia Judge from IGN. We were told to turn off our phones as we're amongst the first people to know the nominees, not even the nominated,

I don't know why I said, the nominees. Not even the nominees are aware that they're nominees yet. We're, apart from the BAFTA selection committee, the only people aware. And it became apparent that, because the day before, we'd sent an email going, look, we're kind of up for doing this, but we'd kind of like to know some of the games in advance

just so we know that we've played, them and stuff. They were like, no, no way, like, we can't send them to you. And when we got there the next day, I could totally see, like, they were super, like, they really didn't want anyone to know about it. Like, even five minutes before, you know, it was going to go out, they were like, oh yeah, make sure. In fact, they told us to make sure that our paper on the desk didn't have the nominees visible. Yeah. Literally about 60 seconds before the VT was going to roll. Like, it was going to go, hello, welcome to this stream. 60 seconds later, the nominees were going be announced on a VT and they were like, do not have your paper showing it a minute

in advance. It's a bit intimidating, isn't it? Yeah. So then, we were then told we could turn on our phones because Peter and I didn't know many of the people, many of the nominees and had to sort of research a lot of them, especially for the mobile category, because we weren't going through every single category. It wasn't just us, to be fair. I think all of us collectively were like, particularly the mobile games. I think even games journalists don't play a great deal of them. But they certainly were aware of them and we were not at all. So yeah, we went through that.

And even then they said, they were saying, well, you know, no one's ever leaked this stuff. So it would be really, like, it would be really bad if there was a leak and this is the first time, we're like, shit, what are we doing here? Not that we were going to leak anything, of course. Not that we would ever dream of doing that. So we went into our little room where we were going to do the stream. from. Oh yeah, they're set. And we sat down and they've got the big old BAFTA statuette in the

corner and then a projector screen behind us and we've got to sit around this table and our water was placed symmetrically in front of us. There's a crew of like five people there, like two sound guys, a lady working the auto queue, like loads of camera ops. Yeah, camera ops like a, I think a, it's being live produced from outside. Yeah, there were more people like directing from the outside speaking through an earpiece. I don't think I've ever seen an airpiece. I don't think I've ever seen an airpiece in real life. I don't understand how people work with those.

I couldn't like talk and have someone talk at the same time. Well, she was, Julia Hardy was truly a profession. She was very good at hosting. If we were asked to host something,

that would be an automatic no. We wouldn't be able to do that. We could barely be panelists. Please check our channel and our content before you ask us to host anything. That would be our reply. Do you know who we are?

Yeah. Why us? Yeah. Why us? And we had a couple of run-throughs and that all went fine. and then it came to doing the thing for real. Yeah.

And suddenly, I don't know about you, but I was very nervous. Well, we, I think it's very apparent, particularly in the first sort of two minutes, that we behaved as though we'd been through 25 years of life without having arms. Our hands. We didn't know what to do with our hands. This was the first day in our life

that we'd been gifted hands from the gods. And we were like, oh, what do you do with these? I'm going to sit up right. have my hands clasped together. We've never done anything like this, though, before, especially with such a comprehensive crew. It was such a prestigious thing. At least we were talking to Tumour and Alicia beforehand.

Oh, yeah, they were lovely. They said, like, you know, we've not done stuff exactly like this, but we've done live streams from E3 and things like that way. You're sat on a set and stuff, and your three, two, one, and your life and that sort of thing. Yeah. Never done anything like that. Nah.

So this was really quite nerve-wracking. It's weird because we've, obviously, we've done a lot of stuff in front of camera and I even like it wasn't just the arms thing I didn't even necessarily know where to look yeah I didn't know like it's so strange because you know the number of times I've sat on that sofa in front of our video's camera or you know the previous job I shouldn't have an issue at least like looking either down the camera or at the person I'm talking to but even like I was just full manual mode way of everything you're doing you're manually breathing okay it was like one of the first times I'd I've been on camera it felt like that it was like oh my god what how do I do this

You take a drink and you're like, I don't want to drink too loud, so you end up taking a tiny amount, but then you don't want to swallow too loud, so you sort of inhale it a bit, and you're like, I can't cough. I can't cough. What if I need a wait? What if I need a wait? I'm hungry. You put your hand up and you ask.

My stomach's growling. Will that be picked up on the microphone? I've never heard of half of these games. What's an Xbox? So just to highlight how ridiculous it was that we were even there, this is the intro, as everyone's being introduced. And just sort of, you can kind of tell how we're sort of the odd ones out in this situation. It's IGN host and editor, Alicia Judge, UK editor at Gamespot, Tamor Hussain.

And what I must stress are the self-titled vidiots. Oh no. Agreed to that now on camera. We didn't call you that. Ben Potter and Peter Austin from the Yogscast. So welcome to your, thank you so much for a couple of your notes. From the Yogscast. From the Yogs.

This is the thing. It's like when we went to, what was that thing called in Paris? What's next? Yeah. The focus. Yeah. De focus. Whenever we go to these events now,

we're generally listed on the guest list as the Yogs cast. And I think like the event organized us beforehand, if they've not been in direct contact with us and got our names, all they think is like, oh, the Yogs cast are coming to our event. And the fucking idiots turn up. These fucking morons, Sean. Yeah, I think it's just, hey, we got a Vidiots plug in there, though. Yeah, that's the thing.

We plugged our shit, even though it sounded ridiculous. But we got more of an introduction, I think, more airtime than anyone else because of how stupid our name is and how frankly ridiculous it is. It's not the kind of name you can just gloss over, is it? Oh, and these are the idiots. That's need to smack, like what? Sorry, can you explain a little bit? Yeah, so stupid.

Then, miraculously, we managed to get through the whole thing without too many issues. I did panic a little at the start, and I don't know if you noticed this, Peter. And I said that one of my favourite games that year was Cuphead. and I've never played... Oh yeah, I thought you were just bullshitting. Oh, I was. Well, yeah. I was bullshitting, but I was desperately trying to think of another game

to go with my point, and I was like, well, cuphead's won, but I haven't fucking played it. No, I love Cuphead, yep. I said, I think... I particularly like the Cup. Oh, God, yeah. I think a great deal of the games I talked about in that I'd not actually played. I've still not played Horizon, because at the time,

I was playing, like, two other things, I think, and I just didn't do it. And then since then, just not done it. And I'd like to, and I will do. but I mentioned Horizon and Hellblade, oh my god I raved about Hellblade I was like oh yeah I love those live action bits in the cutscenes I've never even seen a let's play of Hellblade I've seen the trailer and I read a bit about it beforehand

but you did have some really strong opinions of another game that you haven't played which one and a certain sect of people Wolfenstein too oh yeah everything else that was particular setup Oh yeah kicking Hitler and shooting Nazis is a lot of fun really You were trying to skirt around her but if you ask me directly, that's what I'm going to say.

All right, I don't know how Bafter feels about that book. Do you see it? Well, we're actually implying Bafters and Nazi sympathises. What the fuck? How can anyone be against me saying... I don't know how Bafthor feels about Nazis. I think it's more the idea of... She's not sure why you went so specifically about kicking Hitler.

That was one of selling points. That was my one panic moment, is that we'd all been talking about Wulfenstein for a while, and then she'd asked literally, the three other guests about it, including you, and for the entire stream up to that point, she'd not necessarily asked all four of us for an opinion on the same game.

So once she asked you about it, I was like, oh good, she's not going to ask me. And then as soon as you were done, she turned to me and went, yeah, what about you? Any thoughts about Wolfenstein? You know the BJ? You know the BJ Blascovich.

Featured on our sexiest gaming guys. You could have said, he's a big boy, isn't he? Yeah, but he would have got you. That was a proper panic mode, though. But looking back in hindsight, you could have got your laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a, he's a, you know, I would. Yeah, with BJ, right?

He puts the BJ in BJ, right? He does, yeah, it is. No, I mean, I stand by that. I don't regret saying it, but I think it's funny actually because when we first started talking about Wolfenstein, she opened with something like, so yeah, Wolfenstein. Obviously, you know, there are a few things that we might not want to talk about or something like that. She said something along the lines of,

let's not talk about Hitler or Nazis. Right. I thought she just meant spoilers. She may have meant spoilers, but my closing point on the Wolfenstein thing was the thing that she'd opened with saying, let's not talk about that one. So that went down really well.

And I think then Paul from fourth floor sent us an email and said, I also like kicking Nazis, just as the subject line, which is great. So that went down really well. And that was pretty much it. The stream was finished. And we just about BSed our way through a prestigious BAFTA live stream. And again, we got a nice little bit of extra air time in the outro

because of just how interesting our name is. So thank you so much to my guest, Alicia Judge, Tumor Hussein. And the vidiates, their words, Ben and Peter. Their words. Their words. As though, like, anyone would accuse her of... You can't remember his videos? We're actually just journalists from IGN.

as well, but she goes, oh, and the idiots. Ben Potter and Peter Austin. Nobody slipped yet, and called us idiots. Not yet. So that's nice. We said our goodbyes and re-encounted a somehow even moody a receptionist who pointed at the clock when asked what time it was

and produced a pen for us to sign out like it was some kind of magic wand. Yeah. Like it just pulled out of his pocket and just went, and then put it on the table for us. Like sort of held it in our face as though it was like, I always carry a pen, why don't you? Yeah, it was the time one that's three.

We were like, what's the time now? What's the time? And he just turned, pointed at the clock and didn't say a word. And then he didn't even look at the clock as well. He just pointed up at the clock and then went back to, I don't know, being a dick, whatever it was that he was doing, typing in his dick notes on dick simulator, which is not something very different, I think.

He was doing that thing where if he'd been wearing glasses, he would have been looking over the top of them. Yeah, on his nose. Yeah, yeah. He sort of had his head down and was looking upwards but was facing forwards. if you see what I mean. His eyeballs were sort of in a rolled position like that. Pre-roll.

The whole stream is actually viewable on BAFTA's YouTube channel. I think it's their latest video, so you can go and watch you there if you want to see the whole thing. Everyone was incredibly professional and it was such an honor to be invited along. Except us. Except us. Even if it's completely insane that they asked us at all.

Thank you, BAFTA. And there we go. That's the thing that I brought to talk about today. The time we got baffled. The time we got bath dolled. Should we have another question? Yeah. Can I go to the bathroom please? My tummy's rumbling. Is that your question? Yeah. I do need to go to the bathroom. We'll put a pause on this. We'll be right back. Is it silica gel again? Yeah, it's coming out the other end. It's not good. On the subject of the BAFTAs and stress, I want to tell you, I know you wanted to move

onto a question, but it's kind of, it's kind of relevant right now. Go on. The day before the BAFTAs, I went to get a haircut. Yes. Because I thought, I need one anyway. And also, I'm going to be on a BAFTA's life stream tomorrow. I should probably finally get this haircut. Yeah. So I did a quick Google before the end of work to see where was going to be open. And I realized the only place that was going to be open after like half past five was this one that was conveniently on my walk home, right? But they didn't seem to have a website or anything. So I couldn't really find out what was going on. I could just see the opening times on Google. So I was like,

right. I'll go and assume it's fine. So I was walking past and I sort of, I opened the door and as I was stepping into the door, I sort of looked around and thought, this isn't, I shouldn't necessarily be in here. Okay. And I noticed also that I'd opened the door that had the closed sign on. Oh, good. And so I thought, oh, this is a get out. So I sort of looked at them and I went, oh, sorry, are you closed? And he sort of looked at me this guy. And he, he, he, he, hesitated and went, no, no, it's okay. Yeah, what, there's time. I was like, shit, now he's made allowances for me.

So being British, I stepped in, and sat down on the sofa. It was very swanky inside. There were two barbers in there who were kind of young and sexy men. Sure. With, uh, all other sexy men. Yeah, with, with really nice hair and like super like cropped beards and stuff. Right. And I could tell that they, I could tell that they weren't from Britain, right?

I could tell that they were a foreign And it became quickly apparent It was a Turkish barbers Now Turkish barbers are very nice The Turkish, they know how to barb Oh yeah, they're really good. But as I sat and watched what was going on around me I was like, I'm so out of my depth

and my cultural comfort zone here Because they were shaving a man With fucking dental floss or something or like cheese wire They just had string Like he had his arms At like full wing span With string

And he, I think he was like Plucking this guy's beard Yeah Yeah Seen that before And I was like What is going on Then the guy who sat next to him

In the other chair Was being shaved with like a cutthroat razor And I was like Okay I would That would be interesting Having someone with a blade at your throat So eventually it was my go Went and sat in the chair

And he He did my hat for me. That's very nice. Yeah, he did a great job as well, Peter. Very much, yeah. Then he got his cutthroat razor out and was like just doing some really sharp, sharp edges on me. And I was going, okay, this is interesting.

Then he said, he sort of looked at my face for a while. And he was like, hmm, I can do the face for free. And I was like, what? And I just sort of went, okay. And as he was doing it, I sort of looked up at the prices. and they do like facial hair and like brows and stuff for like a fiver or something. So I guess he was just doing it.

I don't really have either of either. But you want you to come back in the future when you do have those. Well, exactly, and then pay for them, I guess. So then he goes over to his little sink thing and he gets out the dental floss again. And I'm like, where's this going? And he starts plucking my brows with dental floss. Nice.

How did that feel? It felt all right. It didn't hurt, but I didn't expect it. And suddenly this string just comes towards my eye. And I'm like, what is this? Fucking out. So I'm like, okay, just act like you do this all the time. Oh, yeah.

I always go to the dentist and have my brows done. Yeah. So I'm sitting there. He's doing that. And I'm like, God, he really knows what he's doing. At which point, he puts the string on the table. I'm sort of in a bit of a day. he's just kind of looking around the room or looking in the mirror.

And I don't really notice in time to react that he grabs a lighter, lights his lighter, shoves it in my ear. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Let's break that down. Wait, wait, what exactly did he shove in your ear? A lit lighter. Right. So he grabs a lighter. Yeah.

And I'm sort of like... He ignites it. Yeah. And then shoves it in your ear. Puts the flame inside my ear. Right. is that to get rid of the little hairs well so it all happened so fast

it was officer it was like this officer I didn't see it coming for one thing yeah he would never that's the last thing you'd expect to happen and well it was weird it kind of in a way it happened so fast but it was also one of those slow motion moments

where I had a long time in the split second that it was in there to think okay, this is probably normal. He's probably doing some kind of special Turkish barber thing where they light your ear hair on fire. But maybe he's some kind of maniac fetishist and I was the last one in the shop at this point and is he just setting fire to my ear?

Maybe it was like some sort of Shrek scam where he's trying to melt your earwax and then get it out and make a little candle and then that's his entire side business. Yeah. So I'm just looking at a YouTube video now of Turkish Barber's traditional hair removal technique. So yeah, it is an established technique, apparently.

Yeah. Wow. He just struck a lighter. It was in there for only like half a second, and it just got a bit warm. Really? Like, it didn't feel, I feel like I could do it to myself. Well, yeah.

I wouldn't do it to yourself. I wouldn't do it to myself. But I feel like I could and not be too worried about doing it. You could? And that I, yes. I mean, you're supposed to not put. cotton buds in your ears. Yeah, but a lit flame is fine.

Yeah. So then you walk around to the other ear and did that. You were ready that time. Yeah, well, sort of. You clenched your earhole shut. Yeah, I was just trying to play it really cool. Like, you know, oh yeah. Hey, it's just me, the guy that wandered in two minutes before, two minutes after closing time.

I just felt like such a white guilt milk toast cracker boy. Piece of shit. Yeah. You come in. Closing time. I really tried to be cool. So much culture. Yeah.

You don't know what to do with it, apart from steal it and make it your own. Yeah, I don't want to, by the way, I don't want to come across as xenophobic. Like, I don't want to be in a room with Turkish men. I just meant that I'm so white and uncool and, like, basic. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. That, like, I had no right to be anywhere where there are talented, like, cool men who really know what they're doing. And, you know, I should just be in, like, some horrible...

Gregs. You know, Gregs do haircuts now. Just them nicely. Absolutely. So they did an amazing job And I didn't even know I had hair in my ears to light on fire But apparently, there you go

But not anymore It's all gone It's that little soft downy kind of You can't even see it But oh boy, you can smell lit hair Yeah And then when I had a shower later on in the evening Like two hours later

I could smell it again Oh interesting So that's nice That's my story What a story Thank you for bringing it along Pete To lit my ear on fire Would you go back to the Turkish barbers?

Absolutely I'm going to go back there Have you got a name for them? I think they were called Star Barbers Star Barbers. Yeah, they should have just called themselves Star Barbers, shouldn't they? That's lovely.

Near where I'm from, there was a cabababra Abra Cabra. Oh, that's good, there's a few of those. Yeah, it's good. It's a quality name. There are a few hair salons called Curl Up and Die. Nice. Oh, yeah, I've seen one in Bristol, yeah. That was the one in Bristol. Yeah.

We should come up with an original pun no one's ever done and make a shop out of that. Yeah. What kind of shop? I don't know. What do we like? Silica gel. Fried bread.

Silica hell. Cheese, thick cheese. If you did like fried bread with sort of fruit compot on it, like various different toppings you could get, you could call it Bread and Buried. Oh. That's pretty good. That's quite good, yeah.

But also, you're a funeral director. Oh, yeah. But you're just no. known for your fried bread. Oh, you don't even do the fried bread. You just do your funeral director, but you also do like little fruit snacks, just dead and buried.

Right. People come in, they walk past the coffins. Yeah. And they say, straight to the table of fruit snacks. Can have some, some strobs, please.

Got to go for those strobs and those blobs. Blobs is what they're called Bobby Baba Blobooby. There we go. It took us 50 minutes, but we got it. We referenced it. What a lovely story. Thank you, Peter.

You're welcome. We're going to quickly go through a couple of questions. and then it's Michael's turn. Oh boy. This question comes from Antonia, full stop. Right. At they all died, oops. Hey, I know that name.

Antonio sent us some stuff. I think so. In probably an episode of Postum Tap that's not gone out yet. Maybe it's not gone out yet. We've received it though, Antonio. Thank you. Thank you. How did Michael get back from France?

Oh. I demand a detailed story including but not limited to explosions, gunfights, and sexy women. It has to be the truth, of course. It was a long, long old story, but I'll start from the beginning. So I woke up in an alleyway next to a dumpster. I think it was about 4pm in the day, and I realised at this point, Ben and Peter had left the country, yeah.

And I was distraught. I had nothing to my name. I had just literally close on my back, and I had to figure out a way back to England. Don't speak a word of French. No, it was awful. And as you know, no one in France speaks English. Not a single person.

Or Jodie, for that man. I'm like, I'm going around. Why are you, man? What's the crack? What's happening? And everyone's like, what the fuck? Who's this man? Yeah.

So anyway, yeah. So I'll walk towards the local port. I think, oh, I might be able to jump on a ferry. I thought you were to say the local pawn shops. I mean, I might have had a detour on the way, but that's not a point in the story. I bought a replacement Peter. Yeah. No, I meant I meant porn shop, as in.

Oh. Yeah. Oh, you innocent. I bought a replacement Peter. Yeah. So I went to the ferry and I thought, oh, I'll slip on a bit of cargo, you know, on his big crates, get in one of those. But sadly, they were all locked. They keep security tight on lockdown there.

What the fuck? So I was again I was against myself I was like I don't know what to do Then I found a lovely lovely man He had the most chiseled face He was beautiful Where you're going with that's

And this man had a bicycle Oh yeah It was a really nice bicycle It's one of that useful for getting across Yeah did he ride it really fast out of the sea This is the difference though There wasn't any bicycle It was a one with a motor in it

So you could pedal, charge up this motor and then for like five minutes have a nice just cruise along and so for three days I peddled I cruised I peddled I cruised across France

up through the Euro tunnel on the train tracks I went on my bike just like that I pulled them into London Wait Where did you get on the Euro star Because it sounds like you went a lot further away

from the stop in Paris Yeah it also sounds like I didn't my phone had died So I didn't have a map So there were some holes in this story You said that you were in Paris Then you went to the port to sneak aboard a ship across the English Channel, at which point you realised you couldn't get on one.

So you went all the way back to Paris to get a bike from a man. No, no, the man was at the port. Right. So why did you just say you cycled from Paris? I'm not sure where the port is. Can you tell this story? Paris is very much inland. The next question comes from...

Anyway, he made it home, the end. Esquil Bjornstad at E-S-S-K-I-L-N-E-F-E-E-S-K-L-E-E-F. 4 on Twitter. E-S-S-K-E-K-E-K-S-K-K-E-S-K-K-E-S-K-K-E-S-K-E-S-K-E-K-S-E-K-E-S-E-K-E-S-E-K-E-S-E-E-S-E-E-E-S-E-E-E-S-E-E-E-E-S-E-E-E-E-E-L-E-E-E-E-T, I think. Beyond Good and Evil, definitely. Beyond Good and Evil, too, I should say. Unless they change, I don't know, they might change it to, like, Beyond Good and Evil 0 or something, because it's meant to be a prequel. It seems a bit weird calling it two when it's a prequel. Minus 1.

Minus 1, yeah. Or Beyond an evil Genesis or something. Oh, so excited. So excited about that. I'm curious about Smash because I never played, never properly played a smash game anyway. I never really got into it. I really want this to become the time where I give it a go and I get into it and it'd be nice. So I'm really curious.

Just basically to get a release date for that. That's all they need to know. I love the concept of the smash games. I've never played PlayStation All-Stars, but again, that kind of thing. I don't know if they maybe pulled it off really badly but I love the idea of like a huge a bit like kind of Avengers I guess the kind of big shared universe where everyone comes together to play yeah it comes to play together it's such a nice idea some weird characters in that I've never owned a Nintendo console um I used to play at my

friend's house yeah I played n64 a lot with my best friend but I never owned one and we played smash there but I've never like properly attached myself to the characters so I don't quite get as much out of Smash as I know that I would if I was attached to the characters, because when all that like crossover stuff happens, I think it's great. I'm looking forward to hearing

I don't know if it's still too early, and I don't want them to rush anything and just show a shit that's not finished, but I'd like to see some more Last of Us stuff. And equally, I'd be very interested to hear if there are any tentative plans regarding that Nintendo Switch Pokemon title yet. Oh, yeah.

If they do a fully blown Switch RPG, then I am well and truly in it. Because they were going to do one for Nintendo 64, but it got scrapped. And that's the only other time they've tried to make a Game Freak style actual Pokemon RPG for home consoles rather than just handheld. There'd be fools not to. That would sell so well.

If we weren't very kindly sent a Switch by Nintendo, I would buy one for that. Oh, yeah. Like 100%. And it would be as simple as that. Also, you're thinking there might be a bit of a blood-borne sort of spiritual successor. Oh, yeah, of course. Oh, look at you, Peter, looking out for me.

Yeah. Shadows died twice, shown off quite recently. That's incredibly exciting because it's from-from software. It's from-from. Who are amazing. And we don't know if it's PlayStation exclusive or not, but suddenly loads of stuff started showing up, like loads of content from Bloodbourne

that was completely locked down on the disc, sort of early concepts and unused assets and enemies and bosses and stuff like that suddenly started exploding online which was weird because the timing of it is a bit suspect almost like it was sort of planned and I don't know if it's a spiritual successor to Bloodbourne or what but more from software stuff is more than welcome

also Spyro please yes if and when and Crash has apparently a quote five year plan so the what people are thinking there's going to be more crash games. They've already said they're going to remaster an actual old crash game, which is probably going to be CTR. But I think also they might be intending to just make some new games now that they've built the engine.

Yeah, it's relatively easy now. Yeah. Michael. Hi. What have you brought today? It's time to get spooky. Oh, spooky spooky. Let's play a game of how many people did they murder?

Oh my God. So I've only got two murderers here Because I was going to do five And I thought that's a lot of murder And also Mambo already has the rights To all things pertaining to the number five Yeah A little bit of monica

In my life A little bit of Monica In my life A little bit of Monica In my life A little bit of Monica In my life A little bit of Monica in the sun

A little bit of Monica in my life my life. A little bit of monica in Milan. A little bit of Monica. You, your man. Oh, that peeps. Sorry. Yeah, it really did. Sorry, boys. Michael. Let's get spooky. So, I brought along two murderers. I wanted to really... They're with us right now. Put away the knife. I said you some later. God. Sorry about that. The swimming polite. Dave. We said just... God, at Dave. Just keep him out. At Dave. At Jack the Ripper. underscore 1. Jack underscore the Riffer. I really wanted to include H.H. Holmes in this list

because he's one of my favourite murderers, famous for building his murder castle. And also the Master Chief as well. But yeah, also the Master Chief. But the problem with him, Michael, for this game, is that he killed between like 8 and 200 people. Yeah, actually, yeah, pretty much spot on there. Wow, that's weird that you know.

Yeah, I'm going to ask you second, because I know Ben doesn't know much about murderers and serial killers. No, weirdly, I don't do much extracurricular learning on the killers of the world. Sadly, there's no definite number on H.H. Holmes. He just killed a lot of people. So it doesn't quite work for the game. But we're going to start with one of my all-time favorite murderers.

Edward Theodore Gein. Also known as the butcher of playing field. I'm familiar with the name Ed Gein. Ed Gein. Oh, well, I've got a whole synopsis here from. Well, you're about to learn. Born in 1906, he lived in a little town in Wisconsin. He was raised by, he had a very... He was raised by Wolfe.

Oh, it would have been better for him if he was waived by Wolves. Oh. He had a very sheltered upbringing. He was raised by his extremely religious and controlling mother, Augusta Wilhelm. Seymour! The house is on fire! Was that shaggy-doo then? That was supposed to be Seymour's mother.

I'm thoroughly bad impression. Now, Augusta Wilhelm, sounds like you can kind of picture that woman in your head. She's very strong, formidable, yeah. Hurst lips like a bottom. She carries a crop, a riding crop. Oh, yeah. Not some corn on the car. It's a bit sexy, isn't it?

Yeah. Augusta just got a lot more interesting. Now, Augusta would regularly peach, preach to little old ed about the innate immortality. See, this is good reading, immorality of the world, the evil of drinking, and her belief that all women were naturally prostitutes. Wow. She reserved time every afternoon to research.

Sorry, what basis in religion does that have? Yeah, she was very... Where did that come from? I think it was her own projections of... It's that weird interpretation, isn't it? Where people read something and they just assume... Like Eve was made for Adam from his rib, just basically for him to fool around within the garden, right?

Not that that's what women really are, but that's what some psycho Augusta could potentially interpret from the fact that God made a woman for the man. Religion is problematic, isn't it? Yeah. It can be nice, but, yeah, sometimes people take it a bit too far. Some good cake sales. Now, Augusta, she reserved time every afternoon to read her several children from the Bible,

usually selecting graphic verses from the Old Testament concerning death, murder and divine retribution. So this is what Ed's kind of childhood was filled with. How to raise your child? Yeah, just do this. By Augusta fuckface. What's the name? Wilheim. Wilheim.

Wilheim. Now, over the years, all of Ed's family died off until it was just Ed and his mother, alone in their rural farm. At one point, Augusta had a paralysing stroke and Ed committed himself to looking after her. Sometime in 1945, Guyne later recounted, he and his mother visited a man named Smith

who'd lived nearby to purchase straw. According to Gein, Augusta witnessed Smith beating a dog. A woman inside the Smith home came outside and yelled him to stop. Smith beat the dog. to death. Augusta was very upset by the scene. But what bothered her was not the brutality of a dog.

It was the presence of a woman. What? She was not upset about the fact that a dog was being beat to death. It was the fact a woman came running out. He was like, oh. Tried to stop the man from killing the dog. Wow. That's not good.

Augusta told Ed that the woman was not married to Smith, so I had no business being there. Smith's Harlot, she called her. Oh, she shouldn't have even been there. But she said all women are prostitutes. Why is she against prostitution, if she's telling her son. By the way, all women are prostitutes.

She's a bit of a funny one, God. She had a second stroke soon after and died shortly afterwards. So it could be seen, kind of the interpretation there is that she was killed by just the presence of an unmarried woman. She was that ridiculous and devout.

So seeing the sight of a man with a woman to which he was not married to, was enough to practically kill Augusta. She died December 29th, 1945 at the age of 67. Ed was devastated by her death. He was, she was basically his entire world. So when she died, that sent him down into a spiral of just,

oh, not good things, as you're about to find out. In the words of author, Harold Schechter, he had lost his only friend and one true love, and he was absolutely alone in the world. So with all this, what would you think the result is of this kind of upbringing and toxic relationship with your mother? He's going to open one of those fruits. sweet. That's cum...

Bingo! You know, death parlour kind of environments. What were we calling it? A murder hotel. No. What? Sweetie Todd. The pun we did earlier. Sweetie Todd.

Oh, dead and buried. Dead and buried. Yeah. Dead and buried. Bread and buried. Bread and buried. Bread and buried. God. What a wasted time. Right, well, I'll tell you for one... I'll tell you one thing, Michael. I don't know much about this murderer. Yeah. I know my murders, but I don't know this. I know more about British murder, really.

Oh, okay, well, good. I've got two American murderers, so maybe they'll be good for you. Oh, okay. So the reason he was famous was the things he did with the bodies. Right. When he was questioned by police, he revealed he made as many as 40 nocturnal visits to local graveyards and dug up bodies and returned them to his house.

Interestingly, while digging up the graves, he claimed he was in a days-like state. It was almost as if mentally he'd kind of switched off and he went to an autopilot, went to these graveyards, yards, dug up bodies, and would take him home to do, well, I'll tell you what he did with him. Well, there's one of two things. He either ate them or fucked them, or both. Did he dress them up? Actually, oh, you're getting close with dressing up? Okay. Did he pose them? He, like, taxidermied them or something. He spoke to them like they were his mother. He, like, had tea with them.

He played Nintendo 64 with them. Yeah, no, he propped them all up. He had, like, an house. Because obviously no one else in the house, he made, like, nice little characters out of all these different people, put them in situations, dressing them up in funny hats. It was nice. A star player in like a really wonky fibre side game. The only player. So, with all these bodies, soon after his mother's death, Gein began to create a woman suit out of skin using these bodies. I was close with clothes.

Yeah. A woman suit. So the idea was he could become his mother and literally crawl inside of her. This rings a bow. Yeah. I think he made a whole suit out of people's skin and he would dance in the moonlight in it. It is, yeah, I think it's heavy. influence on that and uh texas chainsaw mask is another influence so on a police search of his house

police found a whole human basket of bones and fragments a waste basket made of human skin human skin covering several chair seats skulls on his bedposts female skulls some with the top sawn off a bulls made from human skulls wow a corset made from female torso skin from shoulders to waist leggings made from human leg skin masks made from the skin of female heads and then tie a head in a burlap sack a heart

in a plastic bag in front of his stove kind of maybe he was eating it I'm not sure right a belt made from human female nipples wow

four noses and a lamp and a lamp age in a pear tree and a lamp shade made from the skin of a human face so you're getting

quite heavy why the face why don't I use like some yeah be a bit weird wouldn't it I don't want my lamp shade looking at me.

Maybe. You're not Ed Geen. Moisterize me. So you don't want a lamp post with a face, but you want a belt made of human nipples. Yeah, well,

yeah. Okay, well, I'm uncomfortable. What are we doing, Michael? We're going to guess how many people he's murdered. Okay. The inspiration, he was the inspiration

for a lot of modern horror, including Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Silence of the Lambs. And for me, I think he is kind of the turning point for when horror just

got fucked up. It's like it was really kind of switch people on to the real cruelty in the world and how messed up you can be, which is why I like him so much, because he's a real devil. He was arrested on the morning, November 16th, 1957, but how many people did he actually kill?

How many people did he kill? Let's find out. 40 visits, over 40 visits to the graveyard, but he did actually do some murdering as well. He did do murdering as well, yes. I'm going to say, let's go for 17 people. Okay, that's your guess. Peter, what are your thoughts?

Yes, you have to... think about how easy is to get away with killing X amount of people like people get missing and get reported

it's not that easy yeah I'm gonna say like 12 you ready for the shocking truth he only actually killed two people the rest of them were just bodies he dug up

he killed two people okay so that's all right he's not too bad he only killed two people yeah he's all right I mean he didn't get his third strike

yeah you got to get your nipple belt somewhere okay next yeah Jeffrey Dahmer. That name should invoke terror. I know the

name. I know the name. Also known as the Milwaukee Cannibal, he operated between the years of 1978 and 1991. So we had a 13 year stretch there. That's worrying. From a young age, Darma had an interest in animals. He collected various large insects, which he kept in jars. Later,

this escalated to collecting animal carcasses on the roadside. He just remembered these animals and stored various limbs in jars. He explained he was curious about how each animal fitted together. So, already, as a little child. Most kids just get a jigsaw, but, you know, that's alright. You have to get a put together a dog.

Everyone's pulled the legs off of daddy long legs, but that's like level one. Yeah, that's why you leave it. Basic educational, that's a bit fun, but yeah, not, not parkas. Hey, Billy said, look, look what Billy said you can do with this daddy long legs. Like, that's, that's it. It's not like, hey, do you want to see something cool? I don't think pulling the legs off a daddy long legs is even educational, is it. You don't go like...

It's fucked up, but like kids do it. It's a leg. Oh, yeah, kids do it. Kids are weird. Yeah. When Dharma reached puberty, he discovered he was homosexual and began to fantasize sexually about dominance and having control over a completely subservient partner. Eventually, these thoughts became intertwined with dissection.

Just always a fun combination. They go hand in hand. Oh, yes. Hand in hand that's no longer attached. Yeah. He became known as a class clown in his high school years. The pranks he pulled would become known as doing a Dharma. Do the Bartman everyone

Everyone loved them These pranks included bleating Which I assume is just going Meh Is it you? Oh my God I'm Dharma Michael Dahmer

Simulating epileptic seizures Are knocking What? Classic The doing the Dharma He's doing a classic Guys Guys Everyone look

He's doing the Dharma Oh You don't need an EpiPenny's just doing a Dharma It's fine He'd also knock over items at school In local stores What a clown. Whoa.

He'd knock things off. Oh. What a... Is he a cat? While he's bleating. Meh. That's not a well man already. That's a strange boy.

Yeah. He was 18 years old when he's claimed his first victim. Just three weeks after his graduation. He picked him... He deserves a reward. Yeah, he used to be stuck in at school. He's been making everyone laugh. You've got to have a little bit of chill out time.

He picked up a hitchhiker named Mark Hicks and lured them into his house under the pretext of them drinking together. After several hours... Hicks wanted to leave. Because he was bleating like a mania. Which we knock up the thing. You're making me uncomfortable. He keeps having a fit.

Please, Dama, stop. After several hours, Hicks wanted to leave. And in response, Dama bludgeoned him with a 10-pound dumbbell and proceeded to strangle Hicks to death. Wow. After this, it was nine years until his next victim. So he had quite a lot of cooling off time. Mm-hmm.

In that time, he got a job working at a local chocolate factory. Hey, Jeffrey and the chocolate factory. Come with me. And you'll see a world of desecration. Oh, nice. In 1986, he got the idea of stealing a freshly interred corpse. He attempted to dig the coffin from the ground, but found the soil too difficult to dig

and ultimately gave up on that plan. Oh, I bet he just left it as well. Yeah, it's all in this messed up state. Not like Eddie Gein, he managed to go through with that stuff. Yeah, Ed Gein was a professional. Yeah. However, in the summer of 1991, was when Dharma spiraled into insanity and chaos.

He had the idea of turning his victim, into zombies. His ultimate dream was a slave that he had total control over. Oh God. Unhappy with having to deal with corpses, he wanted something living. His methods of doing this included drilling holes into the skulls of his victims and pouring hydrochloric acid or boiling water into the brain. Oh, I've heard this. In the hopes it would just completely, you know, turn off the brain and make a lifeful zombie fun to have fun with. Wow.

One of the people that he injected hydrochloric acid into actually managed to escape the apartment. Dama returned. So obviously, Dama injected the... this drilled a hole, oh, I say it obviously, like, it's logical, but he drilled a hole into this person's head, poured in the hydrochloric acid, and went out to get, you know, some shopping or something, and left a person in the...

Some crispy creams or something, yeah. Exactly, yeah, that's American. He saw the hole and was like, oh, I could do some donuts right now. That reminds me of donuts. Dama returned to him, and on the corner of his street, he saw his victim, naked, frantically talking in Laotian.

He went over to investigate, and shortly after the Paris... Police arrived, and Dama simply stated he was an intoxicated lover and stated that this was simply a domestic incident and he had nothing to worry about. So what did the police do? They find this person naked, running around

screaming on the street. They hand them back to Dama. No. Yeah. Takes it back up to the apartment. Fuck. And promptly kills him. So the police were literally within inches of saving a man's life but they just thought, oh, it's just some lovers' tiff. They'll be fine, let's just put him back in the apartment.

What about the giant hole in his head? Well, maybe it was, if he was only injecting it, it might have been a tiny little pinhole. Oh, maybe. It's the highest thing. The police went up to Dahmer's apartment, returned the victim to Dahmer and promptly left. Yeah, then you killed the victim.

Cool. So later, again, more killings happening in this time. More victims managed to escape from the apartment and managed to find some police officers. They were taken to Dharma's apartment where police found polaroids. But this time, the police actually went inside and investigated they were doing the job when you find someone, you know,

in a mess up state on the street. They found several polaroids of various bodies within that very apartment. So looking at these polaroids of decapitate tors and stuff, oh, this looks like the sofa. Oh, oh, this is in this building. Oh, that's good. Weird.

Jesus. So when the police were looking at these air polaroids, Dahmer realized, oh, this isn't good. And at this point, he tried to flee the room. The police overpowered him, and he was promptly arrested. One of the officers opened Dharma's fridge and found a freshly severed head. As Darma lay pinned on the floor, he turned to one of the officers and muttered the words,

for what I did, I should be dead. So, this kind of nice little rip-roaring guide through Dharma's career. Yeah. How many people... Is he still alive? That's a good question. I think he's dead.

I think, yeah, he's beaten up and killed in prison shortly after getting there. Cool. So with all that information, how many people did he kill? Wow. Probably, probably a fair few, I think. It's quite a sizable number. I'm going to say...

Lucky 13. I'm going to say he killed 20 people. Wow. Ben's closest. Is he? He killed 17 people. Oh, dear. How about that?

How fun was that? Thank you, Michael, for bringing that. I'm glad you did that last because that's going to turn off quite a few people. Don't worry. I've got a question here that might pull us out of this spooky slump. Spooky. You ready? Fox's Gaming

At Fox's Gaming asks, what's your favourite serial? Serial killer or... No! Oh, well, I don't know cereal. I want you all serial.

What's your favourite cereal? Could be like a children's breakfast cereal or something you used to eat. Fruit loops. Only ever had it once when I wasn't hold it and it was... They don't sell it over here. No, they don't sadly.

Is it actually fruity or is it just sugar? Sugar. Like, it just literally tastes sugar. If it had like weird different... If it was like starburst-flavored cereal, Yeah, it'd be much, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would be horrible. Oh, it was so nice.

It was when I was on a holiday, I didn't eat it with milk either. I aired it with yogurt. Wow. Just sugar and yoghurt. Oh, yeah, that was a good morning. He's still with us. He's still with us. Did you sprinkle sugar on it as well?

And then I proceed to fry seven slices of bread and have it with them made a sandwich. Absolutely. Fuck yeah, dude. Delicious. Without you, Pete. I'm not much of a cereal man, to be honest. Was there a cereal you remember seeing the cartoons? The cartoons, you know what I mean? The adverts and stuff as a child and thought, yeah.

that looks fucking awesome i mean i don't like um i don't like chocolate but the cocoa pops adverts were the best i think rather have a ball of yeah well you don't have to finish it that's fine cocoa pops pops yes it had like an actual narrative in each episode like croc was jumping on top of my house and i got my fucking shotgun and kicked him out chocolate chocolate shotgun yeah i got my chocolate shotgun it's a legally not a threatening life weapon Blast of chocolate goodness. He was trying to steal that's probably the secret recipe or something. And his big hippo henchman tied me up.

But with the power of Coco Pop's in my hand, I've got free. And now he's in our band. He's in our band. We'd rather have a ball of Cocoa Pops. Perfect. I remember that one. Yeah, came on just after SMTV Live. I used to, I think we had it won.

the the Pikachu breakfast cereal slash Pokemon breakfast cereal which I think were essentially just lucky charms

which again we don't have over here with just like Pikachu marshmallows in it and like little sort of

Cheerios in there as well and that was that fucking good but day to day I don't eat breakfast but

fucking what they called sugar puffs oh yeah my mum used to love she still probably does love sugar puffs but I could

never get by them that would kind of freak me out It's a weird texture. If you eat a lot of them, then I mean a lot. No, if you just have a bowl and then you go for a piss, your wee smells of sugar puffs. Yes, yep. Yeah, I'm well acquainted that.

That's true. I have a big memory of the advert for sugar puffs as well. Yeah, the scary suit man. Well, yeah, the honey monster. But there was also a bit where they did a close-up of one of the individual grains, and it had like a zip on everything. Yeah. Sugar puffs, little puffs of wheat in little honey jackets.

Yes, that's the one. Yeah, a little sexy honey boy. Little honey jacket. Yeah, delicious. Hmm. Weird. Thank you for that question. Finally.

Good question. This is from Binks. At Binks Hobby. Me's her. Binks. Jaja Binks. Which console do you think you could throw the furthest?

Hmm. Game Boy Color? Game Boy Color, you think? You can really get some... It's the smallest. It's got some weight, but it's also not heavy enough really... Without battery, then.

Oh, I think I'll go that. I think a switch really far. Because that's got a lot of length on it. That I think I could pretty well. But again, the weight, do you think that would drag it down before it could get any good, rotation. But you need some good weight on it to carry it.

If it's too light, it might just blow in. Like the hammer throw. If you tied a string around it, I bet I could get a PS2 pretty far. Oh, yeah. Probably like swing it around, you know, like lean against it and do a spin. Yeah, it does depend on your technique. Well, let's go normal throw, one-handed throw. I think it's just got to be the smallest, right? I think an Uy. An Uyre would go pretty far.

It's a bit not aerodine. It's gotchy. It's, it's palm-based. But again, that's not, I don't think it's quite, well, I don't think it's quite heavy enough to, to, to, get the distance i think it would just sort of get hit in the air and just the wind would carry it exactly and it would fall down no you guys got weight you can throw it with one hand like a tennis ball yeah i think you get it pretty far do you know what i could get pretty far go on a bopper extreme i could you say that specifically it's got those hooks it's got that's the extra the one with the extra arms like a bopper is just a straight line isn't it but bopper extreme has like oh it's like

it's like it's like half a swast sticker oh yeah sure just take it to the back to nazis i mean i'd love to I'd love to throw a bopper extreme in Hitler's face, is what I'm saying. And I could do it from a long distance away. Right. I'm going to take his dad up. Oh, yeah. Kicking Hitler and shooting Nazis. Just listen to it.

Someone laughs awkwardly there. Who is it? I think I also have to take his dad up. Oh, yeah. I'm kicking Hitler and shooting Nazis. I think it might be Tammoth. Yeah, it's not you. It's not me.

Kicking Nazi should not be a contentious issue. I'm not sure how bad to feel about that. I think you're just bringing up Hitler by name It's not like well But you know If I'd said like If she'd said oh What did you think of fable

And I said oh I like the bit where you like Beat up the woman She you know That's reasonable to say What's how bad to feel about that Yeah that's no I think I get what you're saying

I don't think that she's upset That I'm saying That I'm saying down with Nazism Is bad I think it's more that the fact That you're bringing up specifically Nazis and Hitler Well there

we go. Those are our questions. What an exciting, exciting day. What a weird. Those are our things. Also, a roller coaster. I feel like the first one had a lot more kind of, I know there were very different things we brought to the table, but it felt, felt more unified. But today, we've talked about the BAFTAs. Yeah. Lighting your ears on fire and also serial killers. Yeah. It's a weird thing. It is. It has been a weird day. We hope you guys have enjoyed Podiet's episode two. Thank you so much for listening. Again, you can check us out on iTunes, leave us a review. That would be lovely. We're also on Podbean. We're working on

getting on Spotify. The full thing is available on YouTube as well. Do you know what it is on Spotify? What's that? A song by Neil Cicerega about Jeff the Mungoose. Shit, you're right. I am a freak. Should we roll a little bit of it.

Oh, now. Do you reckon that would be bad? Because I'd be our little outro or song. We could do a little tiny bit. Tiny bitter. Tiny beta. Yeah. Okay, well, here's a tiny bit of that. have hands and I have feet I'll never die

I am a freak hello I'm here I'm living in the wall I know I might be small but I I am a pretty good enough yeah incident

like in the previous episode we talked about Neil Cicerega and then completely separately I talked about Jeff the Mungus and as soon as we were done recording Worlds Collide. We realised, oh my God, hang on. Neil Sissariga has done a song about Jeff the Mongus.

A song which I've been listening to for a couple of years now and I never put two and two together there. It's crazy. That's sad. It's a great song as well. It's very catchy. That's just done. I'm going to go and listen to the one he does about burning ear hair now. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's true. And Jeffrey Dahmer as well. So thank you everybody for listening.

Make sure you subscribe to the podcast. Visit our our YouTube channel, our Facebook page, our Twitter, our fucking Patreon, all.com forward slash vidiates official. Every single one. Look at that. Unity will find us. Next episode of this is in two weeks. It's in two weeks.

Two weeks. That's two weeks. If you're wondering what else is coming out this week, we've got to post some tap. We've got a Skyrim Zoo. What? We've got a worst games ever. Whoa. Next week to, peak to Austin, is on holiday.

So we are going to record that episode of Poddietz on Friday. I know it's not going out next week, but it will be going out the week after and there's bank holidays and then I'm off on the Tuesdays. We're recording it way in advance. So if you see us asking for questions again on Friday, that's why. But yeah, thanks everyone for your support. You're all lovely.

And thank you to Turtle Beach for sponsoring this podcast. Oh, yeah. Thanks, Turtle Beach. I love listening to Michael talking about like... It just sounds a lot better. Nipple belt has never sounded better. I wasn't such a fan of like current day nipple belt, but I did like early nipple belt.

Oh yeah. You know, like, and they say that, you know, remember the spider. Remember Spider-Man theme that they did? Yeah, nipple belt. Yeah, it's sort of fashionable to hate nipple belt, but I'm... Look at this graph. He got with Avril Levine, didn't he, the guy from nipple belt? Did he?

Yeah, the lead singer of nipple belt. Wasn't there, like, the lead singer from Sun 41 going out at Avril Levine for a couple of years as well? Well, that was the other Avril Levine. You know, the other one, the cloak? Oh, before they, yeah, because she died pretty early on and they had to change it. Oh, she's still alive. Oh. She just lives underground.

Right, okay. In a bank. In a grave. Don't tell Gein. Don't tell Gein. Bye, everyone. Bye. He's doing a dama.

Oh, me, she's doing a dog. Calling all book lovers. The Toronto International Festival of Authors brings you a world of stories all in one place. Discover five days of readings, talks, workshops and more, with over 100 authors from around the world, including Rachel Maddow, Ketouru Isaku, and Kieran Desai. The Toronto International Festival of Authors,

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