Podiots - Podiots: Episode 24 - Merry Chrysler

Episode Date: December 11, 2018

Peter brings a very merry Quizmas, Ben's talking odd celebrations from around the world, and Mikey discusses his own festive traditions. Buy yourself some Vidiots merch: https://yogsca.st/VidiotsMerch Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures and see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, lease a 2026 XC90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99%

during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions apply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. This episode is brought to you by Mewewewew introducing Mutein, the new feminine fragrance by the iconic fashion house. Mutein captures the youthful, unconventional essence of the Mewewew Girl,

brought to life by a gourmand, intimate and enveloping scent of wild strawberry and brown sugar accords. Mutein is not a statement, but a knowing glance, a sweet rebellion. light-hearted and laced with wit, a gesture made for oneself, discover the new fragrance, mutine, now available in Canada.

I'd rather have a bowl of cocoa pops. Beautiful. Pops there. Oh, Cocoa pops. Cocoa pops. Go, go. Cocoa pops. Oh, God, guys.

It's the last podcast we're going to be recording in the OXCast offices. That's beautiful I moved I've been moved enough now It's weird though Is that we're actually in different rooms Yeah Very weird

This is the first podcast released That will involve us Not actually being in the same room Looking at each other's beautiful faces No It's not the first podcast recorded That was done in different rooms No

But the first one we did It fuktupe Sorry to spoil the illusion We could have carried on And no one would have none that No one would have non that None, but he would have known that. I certainly alluded to the fact that we've done this before and it wouldn't be released.

But yeah, sadly, Peter and Ben's, their microphone sounded fine. I sounded like a garbled robot. Like two garbled robots. You had this weird echo on. A reverb on. It was fucking annoying. It was so strange. And such a shame as well, because it was a fine episode.

It was a good content. It was the best podcast we've ever done. It probably was. Lost to the anales of history. Yeah. No one will ever listen. Maybe we'll retell the earth. things later, another time.

Including the questions as well. Oh, Ben did like the onion thing, the onion game again, and there were some really good ones that totally foxters. What a shame. Oh, well. Merry Christmas, everyone. Happy Chrysler. Sorry to podcast cook you all.

It's Chrisman. Podcuck. Podcook, yeah. That's my new podcast service, Podcook. What services does Podcuck offer? Like, you get five minutes into a podcast, just takes it away from you. Oh, okay. It says you like that, don't you?

Yeah, you bitch. You come home from. work and your wife is listening to a much bigger, better podcast than you. Oh, dear. Straight again. Yeah. Into like just laying in it, just laying it right on there. The literal sense, yeah.

Punmanship and actual definition of cuckoldry. Yeah. Thank you, Peter. There's something, I don't do it with anything else, but whenever someone says cuck, I say, yeah, yeah, someone's going to have sex with our wives. I don't know why. It's worth saying, isn't it? Yeah.

I think it's secretly something that. you might want. Yeah, it's a thing. I don't think it's a secret at this point, isn't it? No, it can't be right. I watch cook porn, but only if everyone involved is actually dressed as a cuckoo as well at the same time. God, that's another layer.

Yeah. What a kink that you got there. A cook kink. Stop. Stop talking about cooks. Too many cucks. Too many cooks. Takes a lot to make a stew, especially when someone's fucking your wife.

No, you can stop. That's enough. Stop, stop. That's the end. Yeah, I think it finishes with a boo cake, right? Yeah, a big old cake of books. Just massive buck. Oh, ho, hello, everybody, and welcome to party.

It's the official video, it's podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the laws of the three us. Where everybody brings A Thing Along to Talk About I'm Ben I'm Michael Michael

You guys need to work that shit out You need to work it out It was hard enough when we were in the same room And we could make eye contact Now it's really difficult That was a really hard one Peter, you go first Who are you?

Spoiled it now Shit! I'm Peter, hello Hello And I am your friendly neighbourhood Michael Johnson Hello Michael Johnson Hello I like the

the variety of voices we had at the beginning there, like a legit Santa Claus, like a whiny, nerdy voice, and then just regular old Ben. Oh, regular old, regular old, boring, vanilla Ben. Ben. We gutted the room today.

Oh, it was a bit sad, yeah. Yeah. We took all of the art off the walls and all of the things off the shelves. Sadness. Divied up into new homes. Yeah, everything will be looked after. Dive dovy.

Divy. Was that an old BBC see children's TV show Divi-Doovie? No, I just said it, I don't know. It sounds like it could be. It's a segment on a Saturday morning, a live TV show. Merry Christmas, guys. Yay. Well, I mean, not yet.

It's still fairly early December. Well, that's the thing. This one was going to be the Christmas episode, but it's coming out a week earlier now. Never mind. We lost an episode, which really sucks. We're sorry about that. But after this episode, we will be taking a brief hiatus, hiatus over Christmas and new year, and we'll be back very soon with more poddiots for you. But for now, just

listen to this a few times. Yeah, just, yeah. Or just start poddiet's again. Yeah. Yeah, do that. There's a lot of them out there now. You could listen to a few. Yeah.

Everybody listens to a few for a month while we're away. There we go, beautiful. Very good. Would you like a question? Yes, please. It's from Luke Smith at Luke 5 Myth on Twitter. What's your favorite Christmas song? That's how he talks.

That's how Luke talks. What's your name? My name is a Christmas song. I think I have a controversial opinion here because I know this is a song a lot people detest. Yeah. Is it Paul McCartney's simply having a wonderful Christmas time? Oh my God, Michael.

I think that's a lovely one. No, yesterday I was making a Spotify playlist of Christmas songs. And basically I went on someone else's playlist that had loads of followers. And I took almost all of the songs off it. But when I got to that one, I was like, no. I don't know. I think it's just got this. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.

See, I don't mind the lyrics, but I don't like. the keyboard synth. That's what I like about. Because I love how just weird it is. It's like, it's such a weird, it's very much Paul McCartney in his experimental solo years, like temporary secretary,

all these fucking weird songs. It does sound a bit like the synth keyboard, at least, does sound like a low-budget BBC sci-fi series attempt at some sort of laser battle in space. Yeah, it does a bit. Boop, boop, boop, boop. I quite enjoy it

I don't know why I think my parents used to play it a lot I don't I don't know if it's by on purpose it was just the song I noticed the most but it's really a nostalgic song for me it just reminds me of you like dark winter nights like decorations everywhere here is two seconds of that song

oh that was lovely God great knocked it out of the park once again oh great really enjoyed that whole two seconds I love that year nine smashing the music department keyboard sounds in the background. DJ.

Peter. Yeah. What's your favorite Christmas? I'm partial. There's a couple, but I like Lonely This Christmas by Mudd, not by Elvis Presley, which some people think it is,

just because he sings like that. Oh, right. Little Bue. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Because you sing like that, it must be Elvis, right? I mean, yeah, I'd never really thought about that.

I would assume that. Mudd. Because I'm a mug. I also like the darkness. Don't let the bell end. Don't let the bell end. Don't let the bell end. That's a good song.

And I'm going to say it, a bit mainstream. Sorry, everyone, but I fucking like fairytale in New York. Oh, it's a lovely song. You cheap, lousy, honey-linear. Yeah. I started to say the word because I just thought you'd forgotten it. I was like, oh, wait. No, no, he purposefully took a break there.

I've realised what word I was about to say then. Oh, dear. Well, that's a lovely selection of songs. Here's two seconds from a honey-linear Christmas time in New York. Oh, that was. I'm already feeling festive. How does that suck? Do, do, do, do, do, do do da da da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ha-da-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

What's your favourite, Ben? That one, just that. That one, just that bit. I like to listen to the bit where he sounds like he's going into cardiac arrest. You mean the whole song, yeah. You know, all of it. I like, one of my favorites is, the darkness don't let the bell end.

Yeah. I really liked that one. I think that's probably one of the... For some reason, Leona Lewis has, I think, undeservedly creeped her way into the Christmas playlist in the last few years.

Right. I think she's the only song from recent years, at least in the UK, that's regularly played that wasn't released this year. I'm trying to think, what is, like,

the newest, like, big Christmas song? Because they're all tend to be from, like, at least 10 years ago, all the good ones. Well, yeah, but that's the thing. That's why I, like, don't let the bell end, because I think that's the last good one.

Yeah. It is. That's the good one. Yeah, really is. Five months. I don't even know what that is. That's how unsuccessful it was. I do hear it on the radio sometimes, but shit.

We're walking in the air count as a Christmas song. Yeah, of course it does. Oh, that's a great song. That is a good song. I can't do the little boy voice. When the music comes in. Oh, I watch a snowman now, actually. He dies at the end.

Shit. He melts. He gets a double murder, suicide. side. It's really dark at the end of the snowman. God, someone is really trippy, isn't it? I'm just like thinking now, I remember watching as a kid and like Channel 4. It's just the animation, isn't it? It's beautiful. Yeah, it's like it's been

coloured in by Crayola crayons that are sort of going a bit. Crayola crayons. For some reason, I think it was the snowman party that kind of creep me out a bit, because it's like, oh, these are really weirdly sentient beings. Yeah. They're organised. Wise group of elders who die

for like 12 months of the year and then they're only there on Christmas Day. Weird. Here's two seconds of the darkness is letting their bell end. Oh, rock on, my deuce. That guitar, I mean, I'm hoping you use a guitar bit now, but we'll see. Oh, well, I was just going to use literally the first two seconds, one of which may have been silence. Yeah, who's to say, right?

That was a fantastic question, Luke 5th, thank you. It was, thank you. Next question. This is from Jack Bradshaw at Jack J.D. Bradshaw. Oh, Jack. What's up, Jack? What has been your favourite gaming world? late Christmas gift of all time.

Oh, i.e. console or game? That's how Jack talks. Ooh. I got, when I got my original Xbox for Christmas, that was like my first proper step into console gaming, I think. Nice. Because I had a PC for years, but like before that, I think I had a SNES. A SNES!

A SNAS! A SNAS! And I got Midtown Madness 3. Halo Kombat Evolved. Yes. Something else, maybe those are the two that stuck out, and I got what in the steering wheels, so I could play Midtown Madness. this properly.

Nice. And I just spent that morning immersed in the streets of San Francisco and bashing grunts. Grunts. That was nice. That was the console that served me for many years before. I inevitably got a PS2 to play a San Andreas because that released on Xbox really late on, didn't it? Yeah.

Well, that was a nice one. That's good. What about you, people? I have a very vivid memory. You know when Do you know when like A certain song Reminds you of like

Something completely unrelated to the song Because it's what you were listening to at the time Yeah Or like I've got that Except when I eat wine gums All right I very Fucking out where you going with this one

Yeah well come on I remember the Christmas When I was given a PS2 And Tech and Tag tournament And a giant box of wine gums And I sat Playing Tech and Tag tournament Eating loads of wine gums

Oh, that's cute. And it was an amazing time. And then a couple of years later, another Christmas PS2 memory I have is that my uncle got me a steel book version of Resident Evil 4. Oh, very nice. The first, like, steel cakes I ever had. Nice. And a few weeks later in the January, my man was in hospital for a bit and my grandma came around to sort of look after the house. Yeah.

And I remember at one point, she was doing some ironing over my shoulder while I was playing the intro of Rezi 4. And at the beginning, spoilers, the two policemen who Leon arrives into the village with get like driven over the edge of this cliff and he realizes he's alone. And he at the end of the cutscene, he goes, shit, like that. And he did that and I just remember her over my shoulder going, ugh. Disappointing. Yeah. Nice. But yeah, those are my two Christmas PlayStation memories. Oh, lovely. Wine gums and shit. It's like Netflix and chill, but way better. Hey, baby, you want a wine gun... You want to wind some guns and shit?

Yes. I'd love to. I have a similar memory that you're actually... Your memory of wine... Wyngronf. That's how you say it once you've had a mouthful of... Oh, yeah. Winegromph?

Red and black ones. The best. Yeah? Okay. Well, I'll leave you to your wine guns. Okay. Nobody touched them. No peters.

I had a similar memory, but it was eating galaxy chocolate and playing This is football on PS1. This is football. Yeah. I couldn't win. I was really bad. And it didn't have any licenses. But I remember eating the chocolate.

So I guess that games, like football games in all licenses just have, like, London. Yeah. Bob Ball. Merseyside Red. Nice. Okay. There's also like Manchester Devils and stuff like that. Right.

It's just, it's not great. It's really sad. That's pretty funny, though. But Pro Evo, though, they let you. modify kits with quite an in-depth kit creator and also change all the names of everything and you can upload them to their in-game server so people can basically just download all of the correct kits and names but they cannot sell it that way which is quite funny my i think my best one was probably getting my game boy color and Pokemon blue uh for christmas oh cute that was the best

i remember getting to veridian forest and not realizing because i couldn't see a door at the end of it it It was the only area I think I'd been to that didn't have a door to leave the area. Right. You just had to, it was just sort of like a blank tile with maybe a couple of small, sprighty arrows on it. Yeah. That's how you left the forest. And I was like, well, that's the end of the game then. Oh, I'm like, this is, this is, I'm stuck here forever.

That, and when I got my PS1, which father Christmas appeared to buy from maybe eBay or some similar early marketplace. And it was full of games that I wasn't a lot. allowed to play, like Resident Evil and Grand Theft Auto and a couple of others as well, that my parents had to go, oh, I think Father Christmas might have made a mistake. Oh, wow. Just take those out. Oh, no. I've got one last memory.

I think it must have been a tough year in the Johnson household because I got a stack of a parroted Sims games. Nice. That's awesome. Parate copies with like the serial cord printed inside the box. Cute. That's amazing. Guys, we've all brought a thing along. Right?

Kind of. Would somebody like to do a thing? Go on. Yeah, okay. Go on. Yeah. I'll start you off. Go on then.

While we're in the Christmas spirit, yeah. Of which I'll be consuming much on the 25th of December. And watching your weird, weird TV show. Oh, I'll be watching that before Christmas. But this year, I think on Christmas Day, or maybe Christmas Eve,

they're doing the BBC Netflix Watership Down animation. Oh, shit, nice. A brand new version with a... Oh, the brand new version. With a blockbuster cast, yeah. Is it scary like the old one? Oh, I'm sure it will be. I mean, the book was pretty grimly.

The old animation was horrible. Yeah, it was. Like the bloody sort of, you know, like teeth hanging out, scars on the eyes. Yeah. Awful. All that kind of stuff. Brutiful. Pretty, pretty intense.

So I'll be watching that. A lovely Christmas. Merry Christmas, one and all. But for now, to get you prepped for Christmas and to allow you to wow everyone with your Christmas knowledge. Wow. Wow. I'm going to give you a Christmas quiz. Oh, well.

Christmas. Merry Christmas, everybody. Gary Christman. Okay. Michael and Ben, it's up to you. You can either play competitively or try and just use your combined knowledge. We should work together in the spirit of Christmas. Okay. Question one. After leaving Bethlehem. Oh, I don't know the Bible.

Oh, I don't know the Bible. You even forgot the baby Jesus' name. Oh, Jesus. Is it Jesus? I don't know. After leaving Bethlehem, post the birth of the Bible. Deezis. To which country did Joseph and Mary and Deezus travel? Oh, fucking hell.

Bethlehem isn't a country? Yeah. No, it's not. Israel? No. I think Bethlehem is in modern Israel, isn't it? I don't know. Did they go to Egypt? Egypt sounds about right. It's too far. That's a long old journey, especially for a baby.

They went to Egypt. Oh! Look at that. Absolutely correct. Look at that shit. Well done. Thank you. We did great. Question two.

Chrisman is celebrated on the 25th of December. Who is the patron saint remembered on the 26th of December Boxing Day? Saint Box. Yes. Mr. Boxing. Oh, God. God, I genuinely could not even begin to guess on that. I always forget this, but it's something, you know that some people just have that fact that they always know.

And they always, my dad always takes great pleasure in telling everyone what this one is. I didn't even realize it was like a saint celebrated on that. Yeah? Is it a famous saint? Is it one we will have heard of? Not particularly, no. I mean, it's a name you will have heard before, but you might not even know that it's a saint. So it's not not, it's obviously not St. Nicholas.

It's not St. Peter or Paul. Mark, John or Luke, no. St. Ringo? Yeah. That's St. John. Yeah. St. St. George.

St. St. George. Singean. Do you want the answer? Yeah, put us out of our misery. I got no idea. St. St.

Oh, Stephen. Oh, the Feast of St. Stephen. Yeah, Stephen Boxing. That was his name. Was it really? No. Oh, come on. My name is Stephen Boxing Day.

Everyone is familiar with the mistletoe tradition. Sorry, I just Google St. Stephen. He's got a radical haircut. Has he? Like, it's a proper monk cut, but somehow better than a normal monk cut? Monk cut. St. Stephen. Oh, that is a...

Oh, that's a good one. That is a good bit of hair. Oh, wow. I recommend Googling that. Oh, he's got the top of his head cut. Yeah, he's not doing all right, is he? Maybe that's how he died, how he was martyred. Head cut.

Everyone is familiar with the mistletoe tradition, but what is the color, without Googling, what is the color of the berries of the plant? I knew this. Is it white? Michael? Oh, yeah, because you'd think red, wouldn't you? But, yeah, I'm going to go white as well. They are white. Hey, it's Holly that's red.

Oh, shit, nice. Well, done. God, I'm not helping here at all. Well, yeah. It's okay. We can do this together, Michael. Thank you. How many points?

Does a snowflake traditionally have? Jesus, that's a lot, right? I want to say like 20? No, as in... Points? Well, yeah, you're thinking of like the branches, the sort of dendrites coming off. But like, in terms of like...

Oh, just as in like... Rotational symmetry. Like, how many times could you turn it and it would fit in itself? Oh, God. Basically, how many main arms does it have coming away from the center? I think it's like it's pretty symmetrical, isn't it?

So I want to like six or eight or something? I'm going to say 12. Oh. Oh. Oh, I don't know. Ben, you've been right on everything so far. No, Michael, don't do it. Go towards Michael.

Oh, okay. Eight. Go towards the light. I'm going to go eight. Yeah, we'll go eight. I'm afraid it was six. Shit. Ah, you said it.

Really, only six. Yeah, apparently, traditionally, yeah, six sides. That's interesting. Fun. Yeah, I'm sure it is. This is fun. I'm learning. I love learning at Christmas.

God, imagine, like, all the Christmas, like, family events we're going to be going to, we're going to unleash some knowledge bombs on the guys. Did you know it's St. Stephen's and then you get kicked out? It's not important. Yeah, exactly. You'll be standing under the mistletoe. Somebody will be waiting for a kiss from a video

and you'll be going, Did you know that the berries are white? Yeah, without looking at, what colour are the berries? Okay. Two of the original reindeer, it actually says reindeer here, which is a bit stupid. Unfortunate.

Are named after weather phenomenon. Name the reindeer. Blitzin. And? Comet? No, comet? Is Comet a weather phenomenon? Is Comet even a fucking reindeer?

Well, the next question, spoilers, is name all the reindeer. Oh, come on. Dasher, dancer, Dick, Dick Boy, yeah. Big Knobber. Big Nobber. Johnson and Johnson, the twin, reindeer. Freddy.

Dominic the don't. Kruger, Jason, Large Tim, Corbin, the unforgettable Trevor, and the magical Billium. Any of those?

Yeah, that's exactly what I have on the list. It says it right here. It says, Prancid, Dancer, Donner, Blitzin, comic cupid, Dasher, and Vixen, like you said. Yeah, yeah, that's what I said. Exactly what we said. Incidentally, Rudolph is not included, because he is not one of the original reindeer.

Oh, I guess, no. Coca-Cola invented him. They didn't actually. Well, it was a department store, I think, invented him. Wait, holy shit, really? Yeah, allegedly. But the two that are named after weather phenomenon, Blitzin is one. Yeah.

And Donna is the other one. Donner? Donner Cabin, yeah. Raining babes. Donner and Blitzin is Thunder and Lightning in German. Oh, wow. Which is why it's called Blitzkrieg, the Blitz. Oh, my God.

It was like there was lightning being. drop, you know, like, if you look down from the sky, I guess. It must have been scary when you were there alive at the time. Yeah. Because you're so old. And German. Yeah, it was pretty bad. Yeah.

You were up there looking down. Doing a Blitzkrieg, bob. I thought it was just Donner because you're going to have to... Donner hat. Because after you've eaten your... After you've eaten your donna, there's going to be quite a downpour in the morning. Yeah, it's going to be a real Blitzkrieg all up in the toilet. Okay, a few questions left.

12 in total Traditions of Christmas around the world will tell you that Santa Claus is known by many names what is the French name for Santa Claus

Papa Noel Absolutely Yeah It actually says Per Noelle here But I'm sure Papa is also acceptable That's yeah

We'll take that Father Noel Father Christmas Mr Edmonds Yeah that's fun What is the name of Ebenezer Scrooge's partner From the play

A Christmas Carol Prebeni Jooge What was that again Krebbeni Bstooge Krebony Jastuge. His business partner, I should say. Something, Jacob Morley? Very close.

Jacob Marley? Yes, Jacob Marley and me. Marley, yeah. Yeah, Jacob Morley. This is tough. Thanks, Michael. All right, I'm helping out as much as I can. You've got, I can feel the figurative hand on my shoulder.

You're right over here with me. Heavily breathing. Four questions left. Yeah. When does the Russian Orthodox Church celebrate Christmas? Fucking out. Who the fuck put this in here? Could you at least tell us?

if it's before or after? After. Is it the 27th? No. I want to say it's the 3rd of January. Oh, you're closer, Michael. Later than that. What?

7th? Yes. 7th of January. Exactly that. Fucking lunatics. That's a new year. I guess it's to do with... Because like 12th night is the 6th, isn't it?

Like the 12 days of Christmas end on the 6th, I think, of January. So the 7th, for some reason, they celebrate Christmas on like the 13th day of Christmas. Maybe they're just greedy and they want to celebrate normal. Christmas and then that Christmas too. Oh, that's exactly what they're doing. Russians well known for their greed, I think. Greed and just joy at the holidays. Yeah.

Which country can be credited with the creation of the Christmas beverage, eggnog? This may surprise you. Is it America? Because, like, Americans do love it, but I don't, for some reason, I don't want to say they invented it, because... Yeah, I've literally never really seen it over here at all.

I feel like eggnog is older than America. As a concept. Yeah. So, no. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, don't say it on its own, eggnog. What kind of country would invent eggnog? Well, that's, yeah, you might actually find yourself with the correct answer if you ask yourself. What, who invented, no, I want to say Germany, but, no, no, it's a strange word, isn't it?

Yeah, no, no. If we're talking about history, think, yeah, think of, you know, the, yeah, what the famous nogg, what you're talking about? What am I meant to think of here? It was England. What? Really? Where does Nogs come from in England? Well, just because, you know, we're imperialist, slave-slavers and terrible people who, anyone who's different to us, they come out with words like that.

Oh, fair, fair. I don't think that's why they call it egg-knot, though. I was going to say, just slam on Britain there for a second. I don't know that we really continued the strong tradition of the Nog, did we? No, sadly. Nobody really did. It's more mild wine than nog, isn't it? Yeah, mud one's good, though.

Nog is a bit too rich. Yeah. What do you think, Peter? Do you like Nog? I don't want to involve myself in any more contract. You're not a Nog fan? No. Oh, Jesus.

Number one Nog fan. Absolutely not. Welcome to the Nogs cast. Oh, my God. That does sound like a slur. Yeah, okay. Merry Christmas. It kind of is.

But, okay. Which country, moving swiftly on. Gifts the Christmas tree that is placed in Trafalgar Square in London. Is it Holland? Yeah. Yeah. No. Who is it?

Okay, who gifts it? Would we France? No. That's my guess. Someone in Europe. I can't remember who. Is it a Scandinavian country? I'll give you a clue.

Go on. There was a word written on a parcel the other day that we got sent that was a bit like the word Nog. Oh, gee. Oh, oh. Hmm. So it was a Scandinavian country then. It was. Norway.

It said Norg on a, yeah, I remember though. Oh, yeah. That's it, Mikey. There we go. Bam. Norway, apparently. Nailed it. Nice to Norway.

Gives a Christmas tree to England every year. It's a little present. Finally. Yes. And this, you can tell that this is just a list that I pulled off the internet and was clearly not written for a British audience. Which was the last US state in the, the United States, it says, which was the last U.S. state in the United States that declared

Christmas a legal holiday. A legal holiday. I want to say Arkansas. No. Okay, well, we got 50-odd answers left. Forty-nine to go. How many states are the 50 or 51? 50. Okay, there we go. Hawaii. No. Texas. No. New England. New Mexico. No. New Mexico's not even a fucking state. That's in Albuquerque, isn't it? I don't know. I don't know, Peter. There's a lot to guess.

There are. It's Oklahoma. Oh, I was going to say that next. Yeah? Yeah. Well, there you go. I hope you've all learned something. Oh, Peter, thanks.

Wait, so what did Oklahomans do for... Oklahomaans? Yeah, I don't know. Oklahoma humans. Oklahoma's. No, you can't say that. Orca lineas. I guess they just...

I guess there's employees like, well, it's not an... National holiday, but it's Christmas and we're not arsewers. It's Christman. Marry, Happy Chrysler. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I didn't look that up. I should have actually, there's probably some... When did Oklahoma make Christmas?

What's the wording? Legal holiday. Legal holiday. Hmm. The joy of having a computer in front of you. Oh, 1907. Oh, okay. It was, yeah. It took him a while. Because back then Christmas was a much more simple time. It was like, oh, sweet. We've got meat. We've got a meat. Yum, yum.

We've killed a really large pigeon. Woo! Tuck in. Gamey. Peter, thank you. You welcome. Would you like a question? Oh, go on.

Yes. This is from Haddy Emnor at Haddy Emnor on Twitter. If you had to give Neil Buchanan a present for Christmas, what would it make? That's how Haddy speaks there. A custom animation made in the ArtTack software of me giving him a big all kiss. I didn't know where you were going with that. Yeah. Me giving him a blowjob.

A blowjob. And you'll be clow job. No, that's not. No, that's not. No. Let's just not. Let's not. How about several large containers of salt?

Yeah, so he could pour it out on a big black piece of paper and... Yeah, some bin bags as well. He must be short of salt all the time. Yeah, stretch them out. Yeah. And, uh, yeah. I think he'd do pretty fucking well. I'd be pretty proud.

I think I'd make him something from an art attack from like 1991 or whatever and just speak, I think he'd be touched if like a 27 year old man turned up. Oh, maybe I'd paint myself entirely grey and hide myself in a pillar, just my head walking out. No, you want to be head. Hello, it's me. I want to give me. Shut up, shut up.

I think he's had enough head. Oh, God. Yeah, I think I'd just get him a big thing of salt. Yeah. Wouldn't that be fun? Yeah, he'd appreciate that. Get some coloured salt as well. I'd get him a diamond engagement ring, I think.

Would you? Yeah. Because we decided we'd marry him, right? We did. People asked me on my stream how he proposed to me. I said that I was standing on, he took me up to the balcony of the Empire State Building. Yeah. And he pointed, he was like, look down there and I looked down. And down on the floor, there was a big art attack. Yeah. Of him looking up at me and it said, marry me, Peter. Will you take my heart attack? That's beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful, yeah. So nice. Yeah. I think that's what we get him. Some more, basically some more things that he could go back to

real job. Please, Neil. We miss you. Come back to Art Attack. We need you. I've got a thing for you guys. Oh shit. A thing.

Bring a thing. Are you ready? Yeah. So this comes from a list originally published on memondo.com. Mamondo. Momondo. Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't want to leave the...

Condo. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. So Christmas is celebrated in different ways around the year. Around the year? Around the year. Around the year that we call... Sometimes. Around this big year, we call Earth.

On the seven. of January. Some Russians pretend that their day is more important than ours. I have one, two, three, four, five, six different holiday traditions that are a bit strange from around the world. Oh, hell yeah. Would you like to hear them? I would love to. So first up, we've got the giant lantern festival in the Philippines. The giant lantern festival is held each year on the Saturday before Christmas Eve in the city of San Fernando, the Christmas capital of the Philippines. The festival attracts spectating from the Christmas capital. What's the Christmas capital of the UK? Stoke-Contren. I was going to say, Corby. Corby.

Okay. I think they deserve something. Yeah. Right. The festival attracts spectators from all over the country and across the globe. Wow. Competition is fierce as everyone pitches in trying to build the most elaborate lantern. And I think there are several different villages that get involved and it's very exciting.

Oh, cute. The problem with those lanterns is that, are they floating ones? Did you see a picture or anything? I didn't. I assumed they're the floating ones. I was going to ask, what happens to them when, like, what happens to them when they go? They start forest fires and stuff. Oh, shit.

It's really bad. In certain countries, you're not allowed to have them. It's, like, massively illegal in, like, I think, certain parts of Australia and America. Oh, of course, yeah, because a big old fire risk. They land on forests, and then hundreds of people die as a result. Yeah. So not just Christmas capital, but landfire. Yeah.

Probably not so risky in the winter, but maybe, I don't know. Even so. Yeah. Got to be careful. Yeah. We've then got the, I'm not sure how to pronounce the A with the two dots over the top. It's like an A, really. So gavel, as in the sound A.

Gavel goat. Gavel, yeah. The gavel goat in Sweden. Since 1966, a 13 metre tall Yule goat has been built in the centre of Gavel's Castle Square for the Advent. But this Swedish Christmas tradition has unwittingly led to another tradition of sorts, people trying to burn it down. Oh no, this is a good one. Since 1966, the goat has been successfully burned. downed 29 times.

The most recent destruction was in 2016. Yeah, it's kind of like a battle they have going on of like, oh, how long can we keep it alive? It was really good, Tom Scott did a really good YouTube video about the goat. I recommend watching that. That's interesting. Arson is a Christmas tradition. Yes.

It's a little bit like, it's like when you're on, say, a stream or like a Reddit thread and you're like, let's see if we can count to 50. And then you know that some asshole is going to say like, Huh, a million, and ruin the chain. But you just persevere and you're like, can we do it? Let's see. Come on, let's all bound together. Let's make this goat. We know it's going to be burnt down before Christmas.

Let's build this, Bernie goat. Do we bother putting much decoration on it this year? I don't know. We just hope that it doesn't get destroyed again. Kentucky fried Christmas dinner, Japan. Oh, wow. Christmas has never been a big deal in Japan, aside from a few small secular traditions such as gift-giving and light displays.

Christmas remains largely a novelty in the country. Sorry, did you say a few light, specular traditions? Secular. Secular, sorry. A few light spectacular traditions. I think gift-giving in displays are quite, like, in the modern world, that's pretty much what Christmas is, isn't it? That's true, actually.

I forgot about religion. Sorry, it continues. Christmas remains largely a novelty in the country. However, a new quirky tradition has emerged in recent years, a Christmas Day feast of the Colonel's very own Kentucky Fried Chicken. and there's a special Christmas menu and everything. And you get like big birds and all sorts. Wow.

Do you get like cranberry sauce instead of beans? I don't. I honestly, I don't know, but that would be amazing. I haven't looked up the Christmas menu, but that's true. That exists. That sounds delicious. The colonel does look a little bit like Santa, just without the beard. Yeah, it just needs a hat on.

It's a marketing masterstroke. They've done very well for themselves. Yeah, because I'm here on Christmas Day. Chocolate Grandma, Bali. While not traditional celebrators of Christmas, the people of barley like to do their own thing, Namely, chiseling the likeness of their grandma into a chocolate block. Nobody really knows how it all started, but the trend grew popular in the mid-80s,

and now the firstborn of each household is charged with carving their grandparent into a dark cocoa block to be later enjoyed by the woman herself. If there isn't a grandma around, it is said to be bad luck not to do it, so people have been known to recreate family pets instead. Weird. I mean, that's not weird as in, er. That's weird, ur, foreign. Yeah, but I just mean how unusual, how different to our culture.

I really want to know where that started. It was probably just someone like last minute was like, oh shit, grandma's coming over for Christmas. I need to get something. I got chocolate. I think what happened was on Christmas Day, everyone sat down after Christmas dinner, like, okay, let's have the lovely dessert that mother has prepared. We're having a nice chocolate fondue. It's been melted. Where's grandma?

Oh, no, she's full. Grandma, no. They pulled her out, and there it was. It's just like a local version of Grandma got run over by a reindeer, but Grandma fell into the chocolate fountain. It's like in Goldfinger when that woman dies because she gets covered in gold and her skin can't breathe. I'd love a chocolate finger right now.

I'm sorry? Why, you can have grandmas. Give Grandma a chocolate finger if you like. No. Moving on, the Yule Lads, Iceland. These guys are rad. Yeah, these sound great. In the 13 days leading up to Christmas,

13 tricksy, troll-like characters come out to play in Iceland. Oh, I saw these on hashtag folklore Thursday on Twitter the other day. Jesus. I didn't know that was a thing. The Yule lads visit children across the country

over the 13 nights leading up to Christmas. Children place their best shoes by the window and a different Yule lad visits leaving gifts for nice girls and boys and rotting potatoes for the naughty ones. Would you like to know what they're called? Yeah, they all like, they lick all you. shit, don't they? They've got different

names. Yeah. We've got sheep coat clod, gully gawk, stubby, spoon liquor, pot scraper, bowl liquor, door slammer, what? Skiar gobbler. He's the things that they do in your house. Yeah, but... Sosage swiper, nice. Window peeper, doorway sniffer, meat hook and candle stealer.

They're very on the nose names, aren't they? You know what they're going to get up to. Apart from, I'm not sure what the one that's actually a word that I'm not familiar with. Scare gobbler is... One of them is like them, is the mum of all the lads, I think.

I don't know if she's one of the 13 or if she's the 14th one. But I was... Yeah, I saw it the other day. It's interesting. There were like illustrations of them. Like licking spoons, like salad fingers. Is Yule lad, uni lads, a Christmas branding? I think so, yeah, you'll lad. But they just steal everyone else's content and upload it

and then just give them credit in a comment. Merry Christmas. It's fine. you credit. It's not how it works. You fuck you. Content stealing bastards. Broom theft, Norway. Perhaps one of the most unorthodox Christmas Eve

traditions can be found in Norway where people hide their brooms. It is a tradition that dates back centuries to when people believe that witches and evil spirits came out on Christmas Eve looking for brums to ride on. Oh. So people still hide their brums to this day. Oh. This is a fun one.

On the subject of weird folklore things and witches on brooms. I saw a photo the other day of a really old house somewhere in England. I think it was in England. Actually, it might have been in America. I think it was America. America. Where one of the windows on the side of the house was quite small and it was at like a weird angle, like it was a normal square window, but it was about 45 degrees. And they're done like that so that the witches can't fly in through the window. Wow. I love like superstition that like that kind of bleeds into everyday life. Like China's got a lot of it where, like, they often build big holes in the center of skyscrapers for dragons to fly through.

Holy shit. Yeah, like, if you search some, like, Chinese archaic skyscrapers, some really cool buildings. Wow. That's amazing. They, like, they've got unlucky numbers and stuff. It's like, they don't build rooms, that number of floors and that. Yeah, my dad worked in the hotel business for a while, and we were talking the other day about how, like, certain, like, planes don't have, like, rows, certain row numbers. If, like, depending on what country the airline is from, they might not have, like, row number eight.

or row number, you know, 13. Same in hotels. They don't have room 13 quite often. They don't have. And some skyscrapers don't have floor 13 either. So I go like 12, 14 and it's just no 13th. Because even though we've invented the means to fly, we're still scared little skeptical human beings.

We are. It's like we were talking about on the spooky episode where we said that although we know a lot of this stuff isn't true, we still wouldn't want to do it. Yeah, like we wouldn't fuck with a Wii. I mean, Michael would fuck with a Luigi board. Oh, I'd fuck a Ouija board, yeah. I think in generally in the West, I think we do have row 13, room 13, floor 13.

But like, in, you know, in other countries, they have their own numbers that are unlucky and they don't, sometimes they don't have those. Fun. Guys, I have a confession. Yes. One of those was fake. Oh my God, you scoundrel. Whoa. which one was it?

Can you refresh? Yeah. Reckrap. Giant Lantern Festival. I mean, that sounds true. It's not crazy enough for you to have made that up, I don't think. Gavell Goat. That's true.

Is it? Have you heard that? I know for a fact that's true, yeah. KFC Christmas dinner. That is true. Is it? I think I've heard this online. Okay, let's go to the end.

That's a maybe, but yeah. It's the kind of thing that Ben would invent because he wants it to be true. But yes, okay. Chocolate grammar. I think that could be the one. That's the one I want to be true Me too The Yule Lads

I know that the Yule Lads are real Broom theft Brum theft sounds real Again it's a bit too vanilla Can we not answer this question Can we keep chocolate grandma life Yeah I went chocolate grandma to

No one knows where the tradition came from But for some reason And it's bad looks As sometimes they do household pets If Grandma is dead I don't know Would Ben have added that in

As an extra detail Do you want them all to be true? Yeah. Can we just, can we live in that world? Merry Christmas, they're all real. But which one was fake? Maybe you let us know, he is to say. She'll move on to a question.

Yeah, go on. This is from our good friend Jodie at Hound of Zero on Twitter. Joe. Jee. Because we've been up trying to pronounce her name. Because, yeah, we can't pronounce it. Jojo. We're awful, yeah.

Joe. Joe. Joe Biddy Jojo. Jay Gail. Jaymeister. You'll lad. Funkmaster J. Worst Christmas present ever

Well, that was mine Did you just do a burp? I did, yeah Oh no, Michael did Yeah, sorry, I thought Peter did No, but it was a gift from Michael to me this Christmas Oh boy, that was an awful gift Yeah

I've talked before about how I received that traditional candy shop bag With a selection of nuts and bolts in it And then no accompanying gifts Oh yeah From my aunt and uncle That was bewildering and was never explained How old were you again?

I must have been 10, 11, 12, sort of that. Weird. You might even, you could sort of, it would still be a bit of a weird present. But if you were like 20 and you'd just moved into your first house, they might think, oh, well, that'll come and useful, you know. You never know when you're going to need a bolt. You know, it's a housewarming present. You know, something like that.

But to give it to like a 12-year-old, just a bag of nuts. It's bizarre. These nuts. God, you. You sure they weren't chocolate. I mean I wasn't about to chow down on what was clearly metal I mean so yes I'm pretty sure they do they do novelty metal candy now

like chocolate they were rattling right oh yeah it sounded it's a surprise it's a mystery box is a chocolate is it metal bite to find out bite real hard I don't want it sounds like it'll hurt my face oh my teeth hurt from just even thinking about that god yeah Mikey what's the worst present you've ever had I actually I'm thinking so hard yeah I'm genuinely can't think of like a bag of it That's why I've deflected onto you because I'm desperately trying to think of who can I insult.

Yeah, like, nothing's ever been bad. You know, like, it's always been like standard stuff in like socks underwear. But like, that's not a bad present. That's very useful. Especially nowadays. I mean, when you're a kid, you're probably a bit like, oh, thanks. An avocado. It's an avocado.

It's a banana. Legitimately, I think I've always been, like, there's never been a bewildering present that's made me go, what the fuck is this? I don't know if that's just because I'm very easily pleased, which, I mean, I am. but I mean there's one gift it's not it wasn't a bad gift at all but it's it was weird enough and I know that the people will not listen or ever find out so um I uh so obviously I have two sets of grandparents like everyone does um but my cousin's grandparents so my cousin obviously bless you Michael bless you my cousin shares one pair of grandparents with me and then they have their own pair of grandparents because that's how cousins work wow we and for some

reason, her grandparents gave me and my siblings some gifts, which was very kind of them, even though we were a bit more distantly related. And they, I think they thought that I was quite arty as a kid. I used to probably like drawing, I guess. I don't really remember liking drawing, but I think I did. But they got me this thing where it was like, you take it out of the packet, and it's this big A4 sheet that's really stiff, and it's black, it's completely black, and what it actually is is it's got this sort of glaze on it and he's supposed to scratch away about like a scratch card

with like a compass and then underneath is like a really shiny metal layer it's like tinfall scratchy kind of thing yeah so you it's it's just like drawing on a piece of paper but instead you're scratching away this like black coating to reveal shiny stuff underneath so you're drawing with shiny metal effectively

and I was like oh okay thanks and I never took it out the packet and it's like what am I going to draw with that So, you know, it wasn't a bad present. Oh, so it wasn't even like... Just worse than most. All the ones I've seen are those, like it's a guided thing. Like, it has a stencil, essentially, that you kind of scratch around to make a picture.

It may have had a stencil, but I didn't even open it to find out. It just seemed like a bit of a weird... Just an unusual medium, one might say, I think. You get a lot of those, though, don't you? I still find at Christmas, like little trinkets and just kits and sets. You would never buy yourself. I would never buy this and I'll probably never use it. I appreciate it as a stocking filler and it's great.

My uncle, quite often. It's just going to sit in a drawer for the whole year. Yeah, definitely. My uncle gets, he really likes them, which is fortunate. But like, if it was given to me, I'd be like, oh, wow, thanks. An avocado? Yeah, an avocado. I'm never going to use that where he gets a lot of 3D jigsaws.

So you put them together, but you're actually sort of building like a lighthouse or like a castle, but the actual pieces that you put together are shaped like jigsaw pieces, but just bent around the curves and stuff. but he really likes him so that's fine that's a great thing but yeah if i got that i'd be like oh thank you they never cardo thank you i'm not i'm probably never going to do that i will never cardo play yeah nice michael hello you got you got a worst gift well um no i legitimately can't think of one sadly he's a lucky boy he's had a fantastic time don't worry michael this year i'm going to shit in a box and send yeah we'll we'll fix that right for you thank you please

make it the worst christmas ever do you have a thing i've got like a few i've got like a few just random questions because I kind of blew my load on like a lot of research for my previous thing. Yeah, the podcast that just disappeared into the ether. That sucks, doesn't it? So I'm kind of curious about your guys as Christmas days. How do they operate? Oh, that's a very good question. Because like there's some people, which this bewilders me, people, some people open presents after they've eaten? Mad. Yeah, like, I know that's a thing and that does happen, but like, how could you wait that long? Like, imagine being a kid and being tortured with potatoes and all this lovely food when there's presents. Yeah, because kids always wake up, I mean, I don't,

I don't know about you guys, but I used to wake up at about half past five in the morning. Oh, yeah. Oh, big time, yeah. I usually either never of sleep, I'll be up, like, at the cracker dawn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We used to have to wait until, like, 8 or 9 a.m.

before we were allowed to go downstairs. My parents would be lying in, being like, look, it's going to be a long day for the grown-ups. Yeah. I used to, my parents used to always put out a stocking for me on the landing. I think I was, like, basically, something that keep me occupied for an hour, so they could get an extra hour's sleep. It's like, I'd go out, oh, my stock and say, and it's be on my bed, you know, snacking away a Terry's chocolate orange looking all my

sort of things and I'm enjoying that and also in every stocking every year I got an orange yeah I used to get those yeah that's a Christmas

thing I never did but yeah I know a lot of people do I've told a few people that and they've been like what that is like a traditional thing

yeah happy Chrysler thing yeah probably from back in the days when that was probably all you would be given for Christmas shit yeah

in like 1800 God actually yeah I've been saving all year son here's your Satsuma yay drop it on the Oh, no.

We've got a slightly weird, well, not necessarily weird, but a very different way of doing things in my household. We have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. What? That's fucking mental. So in the sort of like six, seven o'clock on Christmas Eve, all of the extended family, or as many as we can gather in one place, comes to my parents' house.

They all chip in, and my aunt has a house not too far from where my parents live so we like cook the turkey there and everything else is prepared here so it's like a proper group effort and then everyone comes together for Christmas dinner we have Christmas dinner and we are merry until the late hours

and then they all go home and celebrate Christmas in their own household and the next day I guess that's nice yeah do stockings Father Christmas might have come and then we have He might have come He might have come

It's a bit disappointed could get lost I mean we played a worst worst game that's going out on Christmas Day where Santa does get lost. He does. It's good to happen. And yeah, we open for the Christmas presents and we have some breakfast,

which is usually bagels and cream cheese and salmon, which is amazing. Oh, yeah, we have salmon on Christmas. And then leftover Christmas dinner for lunch, and we just open presents all day and it's like far less stressful because no one's having to cook Christmas dinner. That's a good idea because you get to celebrate the day

as a family, like a close family, but you still get to have the big knees up, knees up Mrs. Brown. it's probably more likely people are going to be free on Christmas Eve like people are going to be up for like oh shit yeah dinner I'll be up for that so you get to see kind of people you want to see as well yeah there's lot of Christmas Day commitments I think it was just it's not necessary it's become a tradition but it was out of necessity I think to start with right yeah it's just sort of become a just I think a very good way of doing it yeah I was shocked at first but you know what it makes sense after thinking about it does yeah everyone goes home celebrates Christmas in their own house and it gets out of each other's way it's nice we'd always go out for a Christmas Day walk along the coast. Ah, yeah.

Yeah, we tend to do a walk if we've got time for it. It's usually quite nice. Like, very rarely snows now, but, like, used to be, like, a really nice chance to kind of see the coastline in winter, which is nice. And in the last few years, we've been able to take the dog out with the Christmas jumper, which is obviously been a big fan of everyone who walks past. Oh, yeah.

Look at this little dog in a jumper. Isn't that ridiculous. Does anyone, like, ever go to church on Christmas Day? Yeah, well, that's how, how, what I was going to say for my, for my day is that until I was about 16, me and, well, until we were all 16, my siblings were kind of committed to, I think if we'd said, I absolutely don't want to go to church, we wouldn't have been forced to go, but it was like, look, when you're 16, then, you know, it's up to you, you make your decision, but we would go along to church, and generally,

we would have to wait until after church to open our presents. We did Father Christmas before church. Yeah. at least a couple of things. I think sometimes we would do that. Actually, maybe I'm making that. I don't know. It's been a long time. Anyway, that's not how I do it anymore.

So in any case, my answer to the question for how we celebrate now is that we get up, my dad still goes to church. And then when he gets back, that is when we do presents. But often he will instead, he'll go to like midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Okay. So he'll do that. And then we don't have to wait for him to go to church on a Christmas morning. And then we will either go to my grandpa.

parents place or they'll come to my place and there's normally about like 13 of us and we cook a big turkey we eat at like 2 o'clock we don't watch the queen's speech no i don't think i've ever watched the cream no i don't think i have and uh we don't tend to actually watch a lot of telly sometimes like late in the evening if there's some like usually we'll only put it on if it's if it's like a comedy or something but um yeah we we usually play like silly parlor games oh my god The 50P game. Let me tell you about that. Oh, what?

So this is something that my family actually do all literally play together. Okay. You have teams and everyone has a go where you have a little pot on the floor, tiny little bowl. And what you have to do is you get a 50p and you're racing against someone against the other team, on the other team. And you both, with your trousers on, with your trousers on, you pinch a 50 pence piece. between your bottom. Oh, my God. And you then have to shuffle from one end to the room to the other.

Let's play a stinky penny. Yeah, and drop the stinky penny into the... Why a 50p? Because you need a big old coin. Yeah, I know, but that's one of the better coins. Well, it could be... Maybe we should do the tuppence game. You should do a tuppence, I think.

The two poops game. The poopats. And because you're racing, it's like watching a pair of penguins, like, because you're waddling, but super quick. And we've got really good. good at it. And the other one is, um, is, what a fucking brag. Yeah, well, the other one is, is also kind of borderline a little bit weird where, um, you get a carrot, right? Oh, don't put it up your ass. No, you don't, it's called bum carrots. Yeah, you shove it up your ass and then, uh,

at the end of the day, you take it out again. Oh, and then you serve it. Yeah. Um, no, you, you take a carrot, you tie it on a string, and then you tie the string around your waist, so you've got a carrot dangling between your legs. You got a carrot. And then you have to squat over a tea light and put the tea light out with the carob by squating Who fucking invented it? Are you sure you're not? When you say family are you in a fraternity?

I mean, yeah, it's all just like it's like that film society where at the end they all just turn into one big blob and it's just like a big, it's a big sort of blob orgy thing. What a strange game. The more you described the carrot game I thought this is surely a joke. This is a joke.

It's not a joke. No, it's real. I'm saying, guys, I've been honest with you. One of my traditions is a thing. Which one was it? And this year, my parents have said, we found some more parlour games. I hope you're looking forward to those. God. I think one of them, actually, that's been described to me,

you get a lady's stocking, and in the end of it, I think there's like a tennis ball or your Christmas orange or something. And then you put that in the very toe of the stocking, and then you put the stocking over your head. So you've got this giant dangling, like, head trunk. Yeah.

And then you have to swing it, And I can't remember what you have to do when you're swinging. Oh, Peter, this is stupid. You have to, like, knock something off. These aren't real. This is amazing. You need to combine all these games, I think. Yeah.

It's one super game. You tie a highly flammable material around your head, swing it around and try to... Dip it into a T-Ly line. Just a quick question. You do have the curtains closed when you're doing this stuff, right? Oh, we live in, like, the remote countryside. I think that's why we do it.

It's always weird out there in the deep country, isn't it? You just do whatever you want. If you did it outside, people might legitimately think there's some sort of pagan festival going on. Absolutely. Yeah. My mum said she described the 50p game to someone recently. And she was like, oh yeah, so you get this 50p, you put it between your butt and you drop it into a thing.

So is it a shared 50p between like all members of family or multiple members? I think there's a 50p along to put in their cheeks. Yeah, no, I think there's several 50Ps. But she was describing this to an old man she knows. And she was like, yeah, and then you like drop it into this pot. And he just sort of paused and he looked at only. went, no, no, I don't think we'll be playing that on our Christmas Day. And she said, why not?

It's a lot of fun. He said, well, I mean, I've got my grandchildren there and people from all generations. I don't, we're not going to be walking around with our bums out. And she's like, no. Yeah, have your trousers on. You do have your trousers on. But to be fair, I don't think it makes that much of a difference. Well, we've got this great family tradition.

It's called the Christmas Day Fuckfest. You should really try it. Everyone gets their knobs out. Oh, no, I don't think we'll be doing that all. Well, why not? You know, because we're related and it's just, it's obscene. stupid isn't it really we're not from Yorkshire what are you talking about

I'm just thinking of saggy granddad bum wrapping around let's not he wouldn't have to clench he could just walk normally Martin Adams at random underscore wolfie on Twitter asks for our worst Christmas memories probably one of those games right yeah I've got a new worst Christmas memory fucking hell God yeah I didn't even have lived that experience yet

but it's already my worst Christmas memory oh it's a lot of fun you don't knock it till you've put a 50p up your asshole. Look, maybe later, I remember having, you remember when they did mini hula hoops? Yeah. And they used to sell, you know, they sell novelty tubs and like a yard of.

Yeah, yeah. Jaffa cakes and stuff, like huge, big, ridiculous novelty versions of things. Tobler owns that there's actually an entire Las Vegas casino inside it. Yeah, exactly. You could ski on it. Yeah. stuff um i had a tub of of of mini hula hoops that was about maybe twice the size of a paint can

okay just a big tupperware like plastic yeah tub full of mini hula hoops i really like i went in isn't it and uh of course yeah and i think i was unwell anyway right but that certainly didn't help and i was actually sick on christmas day and had to be in bed for a lot of christmas day Oh, no. And it's put me off hula hoops ever since, even though I know, logically, it wasn't hula hoops that made me sick. And I remember coming down late at night. And my mum and dad were showing my grandparents Shrek for the first time. Do you like sit them down like that?

You've got to watch this. I bet you thought you were like delirious. Like, oh, I'm still ill. Grandma's watching Shrek. Grandma's watching Shrek. This is so weird. Yes, there was that. And also I worked a.

I worked a night shift on Christmas day once I was at work at a petrol station until 7 a.m. Oh, petrol station as well. That's sad. It was awful because no fucking people came through it. No, of course not. I was just there all night trying to stay awake

and then I had to sleep during Christmas. Oh, it's awful. So that was on Christmas Eve then? That was on one hour of Christmas Eve and then seven hours of Christmas Day. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, that's rough. Oh, man. Yeah, shit.

Anyway, what about? you guys let's bring the mood down my uh mine isn't actually when the carrot game went wrong yeah it's still up there someone slipped yeah that's how my first grandpa dies oh no um no uh i did not this so this didn't really affect me but the fact but the knowledge that it happened to someone uh is it's a bad memory so um i used to live in york and i've got some family down here in Bristol and they they don't we don't always get together with them for Christmas but on this occasion they had come up to to have Christmas Day with us and it's a three and a half four hour journey especially probably around Christmas time really busy and slow I was just to

get out of Bristol yeah well yeah exactly so they'd come up and then uh my cousin is a fairly he's quite a bit younger than me and he'd already gone to bed and I was still up at about 10pm and suddenly my aunt and uncle realized holy shit we've forgotten Dan's

Father Christmas presents we've left them in Bristol so my uncle got into the car and he did a return trip

no way on Christmas night like Christmas Eve oh my God that what's that like four hours five hours each way yeah I mean

because I bet I mean I can't remember how young my cousin was at the time but he may have even been saying to them like in the lead up like, oh, but if we're there, if we're like in New York for Christmas,

then they'll have said, don't worry, he'll, you know, he's magic. He's magic. He's gone to Bristol. So imagine if they've been reassuring him all throughout Advent and then the presents weren't there. So he did a fucking like six to eight hour round trip and got the presents back. And then, oh yeah, very, very, very good effort. And then in the morning, like, he didn't emerge.

We all opened our presents. And, yeah, everyone was like, yeah, he had to fucking drive back to Bristol. That's nice. get the presents back. So that's a pretty rough memory. It's a special day. You got to, right? Yeah.

You got to. Yeah. Mikey? I think I've talked about this before, but it was the Christmas I was going to get my computer and went down Christmas Day. And my parents like, oh, I'm sorry, son. Santa couldn't fit it in his sleigh. Oh, no.

I think just the order got delayed or something for several weeks. So it was like mid-January before I got my computer. And I was really looking forward to that. You know, entering the world of information technology. What are we? Oh, Michael. What happened? How did they tell you, like when it arrived, did they say, oh, Senator sent it on or something? Like, I know it's a bit late, but he's like forwarded it to us in January or...

I think I came from school one day and the computer was all set up in my room. And I was just like so amazing that it was a computer there. I was like, oh, fuck, yeah, yeah, whatever, yeah, thanks, Anna. Yeah. I think there's another one I've talked about before, but it's the morning of me getting like a little camera to make films with. Oh, yeah. And like, putting the batteries in and not turning on. Oh, God, yeah.

And me just having, like, the deepest sense of fear and dread. Like, oh, God, I've been, like, I've been waiting for this for months. Oh, my God. And then my brother looked at it and swapped the batteries around, put them in the right way. And they'd hand it back to me. I was like, thanks, God. Oh, dear. And then I proceeded to use that thing for fucking years.

I got my, got some good use out of that thing. Without that gift, you might not be here right now telling us the story. That was probably, like, the big turning point. And the PC as well. Yeah, God. All my glorious paint scribbles on that PC. I'll really help build me as an artist. Incredible.

Well, there we go. What a lovely Christmas podcast. We hope you've enjoyed it. Sorry, it's not a week later, but unfortunately technical issues have really just boned us. Fuck them. They've really carrot-gamed us here, haven't they? They have, yeah.

We're hoping to have one out next week as well there, right? A Christmasy one. Possibly. Maybe we should say subject to change. Stay tuned. We'll actually have to do that remotely, which will be our first one remotely. So we'll see what we can do.

There may be an audio downgrade slightly because we're not quite prepared yet But we'll do what we can We'll see what we can do Store.jogscast.com If you want to buy some shirts Or a hoodie or a mug, there's a mug on there? Yeah, there's a mug, wow.

We did not ask for a mug. No. And a mug has appeared, so I don't fucking know what's going on. Meanwhile, the plain logo shirt has gone, which we also didn't ask for. Again, don't know why. VS1 shirt's still there.

Didn't ask for that to come back. Just grab whatever you can. If you see something there that you're going to want, you don't know when it's going to be around, how long it's going to be around for. Getting there quick. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash Vidiotts official.

Twitch.tvy forward slash idiots official. We will be streaming a little bit across Christmas and New Year. So stay tuned for more information on that. At this is rules boss. If you want any advice on rules, send him a tweet. I'll let you know. Well, he'll try anyway. at Billy Ray Botris, sad tweets from the sad, sad, walrus man himself,

and bit.ly, forward slash vidiates discord if you would like to chat with fellow vidiates. Finally, leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice. We really, really appreciate it. It means a lot. And something about algorithms. Secret question this week. Put your answers down below in the comments. Hashtag secret question or answer or something.

Tell us about your Christmas traditions. I mean, you can tell us about the ones in your country in general, like chocolate grandma, which is definitely true. Yeah, definitely true. But I think I'd be more interested to hear about your 50P games, to be honest. Yeah, like what weird stuff do you do with the family? What vegetables have you put in your ureth? Yeah, let us know which vegetables have been inside your not mouth. Yeah.

That would be very interesting to know. And also, if you could let us know which one of those Christmas traditions was the fake one. Yeah, don't let us know. I don't want to know. Okay. I'm going to deliberately never Google Chocolate Grandma for the rest of my life. No, do not do that. Not without a safe search switched on.

Yeah. Anyway, thank you very much for listening, everybody. Merry Christmas and a very happy new year. If we don't speak to you again on Poddy, it's until then. Have a lovely time. Be nice to each other. Have a fun cackle. And whatever you do, make sure you carrots are before you roast and take lunch.

Perfect. Bye-bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.