Podiots - Podiots: Episode 32 - Homes Under The Hanmer

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

Mikey introduces his new best friend Lorraine, Peter's insulting your mother, and Ben's knees-deep in weird fake real news. Donate to get a shout out! - https://streamlabs.com/vidiotsofficial New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Discover the new fragrance, mutine Now available in Canada Super Super, super like It's a real super thing there son Mikey Hi How are you? I just watched your Scotch Bonnet video

Oh yeah How are you doing? You know what? Surprisingly great I feel invigorated I feel for the life I feel like I'm 14 years old again Did your poops hurt? That's the weird thing, because I didn't, like, in the moment,

I just thought, oh, this will be a fun, like, half-hour experience. Yeah. I didn't, like, think about any of the ramifications that would come after the evening of the chili. So everything was fine for about 20 minutes. And then I got a bit of a wobbly tummy, and it was just like, oh, this isn't nice. This is a bit painful. And at that point, I started reading the replies to the tweet in the video,

thinking, oh, God, this is going to be a bum-pice of, epic proportions. Oh no. Turns out it's totally fine. Oh, good. Like, all natural. Yeah, totally fine poops, just a bit of a tummy ache, but other than that, I'm healthy and alive.

Pretty, pretty lucky then, because our actual employer, Adam Pachiti, got, um, stomach ulcers, right? Yep. Yeah, I was thinking about that. I was like, oh, fuck, have I fucked this up? But I don't know, I don't know what he ate to get that. That is insane. Well, they ate a lot. I think it was quantity as much as, you know, the actual quality of the sauce.

I think it was just so much of it, you know. Yeah. God, that was... I just remember, like, seeing him, he didn't look well. And, like, you're saying that he just spent the day lying on the bathroom floor. Clammy poo boy. I've never described a boss like that before. Sorry, Adam.

Immediately regret that. I am excited, though, to announce a follow-up video on the video. It's channel. It's going to be called Ben Eats a Twix. Oh my God. It's going to be really, really exciting. So look out for that. Just bites into a Twix and just goes, oh, I've got hiccups now.

I'm usually quite a burpee boy anyway. I should go one extra mile and do Ben eats a bounty. The most disgusting of foods. But I really like bounty. Oh, fuck off. I thought you're going to say Ben eats two Twix's the next step up. He eats the entire pack, not just one stick, twixt. rapper and everything.

Paper and everything. I think Kevin was with one of you two last. He's right here. Oh, good. Oh, okay. He's actually lying in my bed. It's a bit weird. He's sort of got his eyes open.

He's just staring at the ceiling. He's lying perfectly just sort of squared and flushed and, you know, with his arms by his sides and his legs together, just looking up. Oh, my God. Is he depressed? Is he okay? I don't know if he's like, does he hibernate in the summer? or something like that.

Maybe just in between potty at sessions, he just goes to a neutral state. I've got his, I've got his user manual here. Okay. Kevin, do not resuscitate. Okay, basically it says that I've got a line that I've got to read here.

I need you guys to play along. And Peter, once I'm done, can you let me know if he responds in any way? And I think if he does, that'll be the beginning of the episode because presumably the music will just start. Right. Okay, are you ready?

Yeah. Mikey, can you handle this? Ben, can you handle this? Peter, can you handle this? Kevin, can you handle this? Oh, his... I don't think... His ears are rotating.

His mouth's opening. It's coming. He's alive! He comes! Hello everybody and welcome to Podiot's the official Vidiots podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the laws of the three urs, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben.

I'm Peter. I'm Michael. We did it. Yay. Congratulations. It's really warm. It is. It is pretty warm.

It's so warm. It seemed fine this morning and just walking home, it was like, fuck, this is just a bit too warm, really. Yeah. It got very clammy in the office today, I thought. Very stuffy. Not clammy, just stuffy. Oh, I missed a idiot's fridge, I must admit. The fridge room.

Just burning that electricity. Always on the lowest aircon setting. Constantly at a cool 18 degrees. It was needed, like it got sweaty after I pour some tat. It really did. And we had to turn it off. for recording as well, because it was loud. Like, just midway through anything, it would go like,

eh, yeah, it was. How is the heat in Bristol? It's, I mean, it's, it's, it's refreshing. I'll, I'll say that, because it's nice to have a bit of consistent weather where I'm not worried about it raining every day. I'm wearing some jazzy new shirts, I'm feeling fresh. It's, it is warm, though. It's, like, I think it got like 29, 30-ish degrees.

Jesus. Whoa, that's more than it. there than here. Yeah. Well, it's a dry heat, which I'm a fan of. A wet, humid heat is the worst kind of heat. We've got a lot of hill walking, haven't we, Peter, on the way into the office. It's not a fair bit. Deal combination. I mean, you've got even more than I have. You have to climb a hill whichever direction. You descend a hill and climb a hill on your way into work, and then opposite on the way back. Yeah. It's win-win. You could sell Ben and Peter's walk to work as like a fitness workout kind of thing.

Oh, absolutely. That's why I've got a nine-pack. Oh, nice. There's six on your chest and then two on the bottom of your feet. It's actually, there's one just below my chin. That's why I never look up in videos. It's actually seven down one side and three down the other. It's really weird looking.

If you stand on my left, you're safe. But don't stand on my right. That's my powerful side. Seven and three adds up to ten as well, so I don't know why it's a nine-pack, but, you know. It's just what we call it. It's like Baker's dozen. It is, yeah. Before we get started with some questions, I'd quickly like to thank the very, very kind people who have donated to us since the last show.

As we said, if you want to support us financially, you can do. You get a nice little shout out at the beginning and at the end of the show. That's streamlabs.com forward slash viduets official. Is that right, Michael? It is 100% correct. Fantastic. In which case, since last episode, the following people have been wonderful. That's Carl Richardson, Rachel Stanhope.

Espurius, Tom and Ben Davies. Thank you very much. Oh, thank you all of those people. What a lovely bunch. You're so kind. And if you want to shout out, you just go to that link. It'll be in the description and we'll put it other places as well. And to make a donation of any size, it really goes a long way.

You know, because we do it for the love. And any financial support that we get is gratefully received. Absolutely. Sadly, love doesn't pay the bills. Unless you're a sex worker, then it does. but is there much love in sex work i think it's more just that's the point really it's it's the sex without the love oh true actually yeah i don't know if we get enough donate donations we'll create a monument to you all like little name placards on it yeah made with love we'll

we'll do that oh no we'll build a vidyitz wall with like engraved bricks yeah let's build a vidyat's house everybody who donates gets a brick please consider donating one brick to our house. Please don't post bricks. Post some bricks, the new show. PSB. Imagine the shipping on that. God, well, the shipping that some people paid last year.

You guys are crazy generous. Yeah, it's insane. Well, that's what I mean. You know, that was for fairly lightweight toys and sweets and things. But if people were selling actual bricks, I mean, God, it would be terrible. Just put a first class stamp on a brick. It'll get there. I'm sure.

There is a company where you can, like, order potatoes with words written on them like they'll just sharpie something on it and they literally just attach a stamp to the potato and it makes it there really I think so I've seen pictures of it I hope that's real I think I'm going to Google mail a

potato it's like I think it's called mail a spud no text of potato let's have a look yeah literally they just stick a couple of stamps on a potato with a address and a message and bam I'm sure I heard once that someone oh maybe this was just in a work of fiction I might have been in a

or something that I read, but it was something about someone writing an address on the back of a first-class stamp and just putting the stamp in the post box, and I think it got there. I don't know if it's true or not. I'm trying to remember where it is from, but I hope that's real. I think it would work that way. Like, technically, you know, that's... Yeah, you paid for postage. Yeah. That's fantastic. Excuse me, Royal Mill. It's been two weeks since I posted my letter. There's no sign of it yet. Oh, yeah, what could you describe a letter for us? It's just a stamp. Just a single stamp. It's just a really important letters, sentimental value.

It's just the one letter, the letter B. Just the one letter actually. Our first question, boys, all girls, all girls. Comes from Carrie. At Carrie the worst underscore on Twitter. If a sore trap was designed specifically for you, what would it be?

Oh my God. What would it do? Now, keep in mind, lads, I don't know if you've seen sore, but some, I don't think all of them necessarily, but some of the traps are sort of, kind of, there's an element of irony to them. There's a kind of poetic justice. So, you know, someone who is maybe a bit of a voyeur,

you know, they somehow die by cameras in some way, you know, if you see what I mean, that kind of thing. So you need to pick a bad trait about yourself that deserves punishment and then come up with some sort of... Well, that sounds a bit kinky, really. Yeah. Deserve punishment. This isn't, like, strictly sore-like,

but I think Paul from the office yesterday described his laser eye surgery procedure and that genuinely for me sounds like just a bit of torture because the point where they actually insert whatever the hell it is into your eye

and they start moving it around and adjusting things and you cannot if you move your eye in a sudden movement it will just fuck up like that blade will just do whatever and I think I could not sit still

for three seconds let alone you definitely could Especially like when there's something in my eye And I'm being told strictly, do not move Even if it's of debtor into my own health I'm gonna move Yeah, I think I would struggle with that I think that actually happened in one of the saw movies

A guy had this thing on his head Where it was gonna like rip his jaw completely open Like a reverse bear trap Or something like or a bomb around his neck or something And the key to the padlock That was keeping it on his neck Had been surgically implanted behind his eyeball While he was unconscious

And he had to dig his eye out to get the key. No, thank you. Yeah. No, thank you. Maybe I'd have, actually, I know what mine would be. I'd be locked in a room for 24 hours. And if it would have a detector in the corner room, where if it detected any kind of like burp smell or fart smell,

self-destruction immediately. Oh, God. Yeah. So, Mikey's is literally a very safe routine surgery because he wouldn't be able to sit still. Torturous. Amazing. Peter, what you got?

Mine, I mean, the other thing with Saw is that you're supposed to be able to get out of it at some kind of sacrifice to yourself. Like, you have to blow your own arm off or whatever. I can't think of how this would relate to that in kind of giving me a chance to escape. But in terms of something that probably a trait that I deserve to be punished for

is I'm not very punctual. so what I should have is like a clock that is sideways on right next to my eye so that the hour hand in 11 hours time is slowly going to move a knife just into my face and just stab me really slowly I guess just like a scalpel attached to a clock the hour hand and how would you win what's the winning condition for that I don't know that's what I'm saying. I don't know how I would escape that. I just think that...

You know, for a serial killer, Jigsaw's a smart man. Well, given that, it's hard to think up these torture devices. Yeah. I don't know what the wing condition would be. Maybe, uh... No, I don't know.

No idea. I'd watch his TED talk, Jukesel. Yeah? Be fascinating. Yeah, that guy's mind. Fascinating. I just think. Hero.

Ben, maybe. Mine would be, um, sort of an Acme-style trap. where there's a bucket of fried chicken and maybe a crate that's propped up by a stick. And you just have to resist. Well, I go in after it, obviously, because why wouldn't you? It's free. It's floor chicken. It's free. It's there. Take it. It's a nice, delicious, a trap floor chicken.

So I go get the chicken, and then the thing swings down on me, trapping me. I then can't leave until I stop eating the chicken and walk away and there's so much chicken there that if I eat all of it then I'm so big that I can't get out yeah so I just have to resist and walk away and use my non-chicken strength to get out I think there's an ASOP's fable about that where like a farmer hides his lunch inside a hollow tree while he's like at work or something and the cunning fox

sees the food inside the tree so the fox goes in and he eats all the food but then he can't get out because he's too fat oh no and then jigsaw comes and kills the fox yeah i'm i'm the fox yeah oh it's a very sad one who's got a thing i've got a thing oh oh oh oh do you want to play rocket scissors over the internet yeah should we just say the what ben's going to have to count in and we'll just say yeah so ben goes three two one go and on go we both see a thing yeah yeah okay you ready ready three two one scissors oh mikey go for it right ahead mike well played i can't remember last time i went first so let's just give a little bit of context to this as i'm sure you're all aware we've been busy behind the scenes working at yogcon

And part and parcel of interacting with online communities is the people, the weird and wonderful people you meet along the way, the fans. Yeah. In this case, the mothers of fans. I'm just going to run through this, and it's an experience. It was a cold day in March. Everything was running normally.

Yorcon planning was well underway, and we were starting to reveal information to the general public. Everything was going well, until a certain tweet rolled in. I'm going to try and obfuscate some of the details here because I, I, I'll just, I'll just read it out and let everyone make their own minds up on things. Okay. Hello, at, oh, sorry.

Hello, the at YogCon, my son, spelled S-U-N, wants to come, but he says you won't let him bring his camera that he paid for. Why? Question mark, exclamation mark, question mark, exclamation mark. And a follow-up tweet, it's a Nikon camera. N-I-S-K-O-N. And York Con replied, you know, aimicably, it's just, we only have restrictions on cameras, on large cameras, and with detachable lenses. Any compact camera will be fine.

This is basically just so people can pay for professional photos and stuff like that, which is, it's fine, it's fine. Yeah. Yeah. And then she replies, why the restriction, though? I don't understand. And someone else jumps in trying to, you know, defend what's going on. You can't expect to change the rules for just one person. you let one person then you have to let everyone

and safety concerns and crowded places must be addressed if people want to pull put on these events again and then I think I think there's a hit a nerve with our friendly internet mother do you want to give her a name of some kind yeah fuck it I'll read out her Twitter name Lorraine from the London area

that's her full name so I may have accidentally docks there the London area it's a pretty small place you might be a finder from the general London area just the London area from the London area Yeah, that's why does that make sense She's remarried several times

She goes on to say My son isn't a gangster, Ryan He has no ill will He just wants to see his favourite YouTube videos And meet them He loves watching it all night long I just want him to be happy Ryan Don't test me Ryan

Oh my God Does that say he wants to see His favourite videos and meet them Yeah, you just get like it's on the USB sticks It's what Yorgon is No one actually there It's just a collection of videos It's just a laptop that you queue up for.

Yeah. In real life. Peter, don't test her, Peter. No, I won't. She's not a gang star. My son isn't a gangster, Ryan. Poor Ryan comes back in. When did I ever imply that?

Your son can do all those things and that has nothing to do with this camera. If people film events and things, then it's detracting revenue from the people putting on the events in the first place. I don't appreciate the threats either. So again, you're pretty level-headed, just trying to chill out things.

Ryan's coming out best in this situation. Lorraine pops back in. He wants to have memories, Ryan, you simple boy. He wants to take... You simple boy. He's a very mummy put down, isn't it? He wants to take pictures with his favourite video people. You're the one starting on me, Ryan.

I'm just defending my 16-year-old son. Ryan comes on. She's great. I'm already in love with this. She is like a constant source of entertainment. And Ryan follows on. He will have a chance to meet the creators with designate meet and greet, meet and greet's picked when buying the ticket. Again, fair enough.

Ryan sounds like he knows what's going on. This is just some Joe public, right? This isn't anyone from Yog's cast, is it? No, this is just someone who's actually, you know, read and is understanding. Yeah, yeah. And then Lorraine comes back again. He will be bringing his bloody camera, or he won't be bloody going, Ryan. I suppose he's not going, then.

Yeah. This goes on a bit, but then Lauren, again, Ryan comes back, and then the reasonable response is trying to calm her down. and then Lorraine comes back he will be bringing his phone obviously but he wants to bring his camera that I paid for and I want him to have good pictures

with his video friends so he can remember it for a long time in good quality he has a badge sorry carry on he has a bad G phone Vodafone smart it sounds to me like he

his camera is small enough that like there's no issue here he can just bring it yeah I'm sure like he's not going to get turned away but she's just really riled up about this. Yeah.

But it's crazy, isn't it? I feel so sorry for her son spout S-U-N. It's just... Because he's... He can't have turned out right. Yeah. He's...

He's a poor boy. Just want to have a fun time. Meet his favorite videos. But no. Lorraine's got to meet my videos, Mum, and have memories in HD. Yeah, I want my HD memories, please. On my HD memories, Mom.

So this got me interested because I love interesting people like this. And I kind of want to know more about Lorraine. Who is she? So a Twitter bio at the time So I think it's changed now But I've copied like From the original Slack conversation

That happened at the time A Twitter bio read Hello I am Lorraine from the London area Collect Pershios Or 2 to 56 Reg only Perjos She collects Perjos Yep

Just how do you What Toy ones Like as in literal physical Huge Persio cars How wealthy is this woman How much How much space does she need to let the Perjos

Run run free. Yeah. It's, but it's just the specificity of it or two to 56 Regi only.

It's like very strange. You imagine her out on the streets like approaching people like oh, it's a lovely 56 purg we got there. How much you want for it?

Outstanding. And also from this we learned she has a cat called pug. Okay. And turns out pug in the Persia community

is what they, it's what they call Persia's Pugs. Ah. Okay. And everything went quiet for a few months. We all just kind of

forgot about and just went on with our daily lives and assumed, oh, that's fine, that's over. And then on the 2nd of July, she returned. So recently we opened up volunteer positions for Yodontas to help, you know, keep the event going and give people an opportunity to, you know, go to the event and also do some work, which is quite nice. That's nice.

And she says, my son, spelled S-U-N. Just throughout all this, assume when I say the word son, it's S-U-N. Okay. In fact, every word is spelled incorrectly. Pretty much, yeah. instead of all O's are replaced with you. Yeah. Yorg's cast.

My son has volunteered for YogCon without my permission. Question mark, question mark, question mark. At YogCon at Yog's cast. Yogon replies, hi, Lorraine, we have not confirmed any volunteers for Yoccon yet. All volunteers must be at least 18 years old. If you have any concerns, please let me know his name via DM or email here. And I'll remove him from the list. And then she goes on to say.

My son is 19. I don't want him volunteering. What? He's aged. How old was he before? Yep. So this all kind of starts unfolding. My 16-year-old son in March

in the space of about three months has aged three years. Maybe she has two sons. Is there some sort of reverse leap year thing? Maybe he was blipped in the Great Avengers thing. What the fuck's that called? Blipped. That's the word. When Thanos blipped his fingers.

Just blip. No, no, she might have two sons It might be like Tattoine Oh, true Oh, good point I never thought about the multiple The multi-sun universe

Yeah, the binary solar system And some of the kind soul chimes in If he's 19 years old Does he really need your permission though? Let's be honest here Which is a fair remark I mean, legally she can't really stop him But it's your mother

You can't have to do what they say Yeah, right And so obviously she retorts Sorry, are you his mother didn't think so. I don't want him doing it and I'm his mum and I will make those decisions. And a totally new person enters the battle. He's above the legal age. He has a life. Let him live it. And Lorraine jumps in again. Excuse me. Why are you saying what my son's legal age is? She doesn't know it. Who do you think you are? Why do you think you can do that?

Why are you saying what my son's legal ages? How dare you? It's defined on a sun-by-son basis here. There's not like a blanket age. It's up to the mother. So with Lorraine back in the picture, I had another dig for good tweets, and it mostly consisted of her getting angry at D-list

Daytime TV celebrities. There's a few corkers in there. She lists a phone number. Stop fucking calling me! I'm British! Not Scottish! I don't want your shitty power. I've got my own.

At Scottish Power. What? Lorraine. That's not how it works. Doll, woman. Number one, Scottish people are British, right? For now, anyway. And also, Scottish power, Lorraine,

they provide to lots of other people, not just Scots. Yeah, it's welcome to 2019, Lorraine. Yeah. Share power. She finishes that tweet with. Keep calling and I will sue you. All right, Lorraine.

Imagine that in a court. All right. I want five perjones. It's a 58 reg. Get it away. I don't want it if it's not crap. If the judge ruled against her, she would probably say, excuse me, how dare you decide the legal ruling?

It's up to me. It's the mother's choice. You simple boy. This is quite a nice one. This is out of character for Lorraine. But my son has done his hashtag GCSE. Oh Just the one

Is it still spelled S-U-N? No, actually that's a correctly spelled son Well done, right Maybe it was an English G-C-S-E And she finally, he came home and said, Mom, I think you've been spelling Sun wrong Oh, that makes so much sense

She's like, no, get back in your cage Where I control you Stop volunteering for things without my opinion Oh, do you know when that was? What date was that? That would have been about three days ago So, is he 16? Oh, is he 19 doing his GCSEs?

Oh, yeah. The timeline's all over the place here. Did he reset a GCSE? I never know. I think she's got a phone number somewhere, but I'm terrified to ring her. We'll get to that, though. It comes later on. We should get her on the podcast.

Oh, I'll be fucking amazing. She sounds fascinating. Please, Lorraine, if you're out there listening to this, I don't know why, but give us a call. She got some scathing political satire going on. Oh yeah, how good Hashtag Trump Oh

Good, just that That's that tweet That's the entire tweet Brilliant Fantastic Fantastic But you'll be glad to know She supports people of all

Sexes Genders You know Sexualities She tweeted Yes Happy Pride Month Rainbow Flaggamoji

Last month My Cat is a transgender And I support him Lots of times Oh Lorraine There's so much wrong with that I support him Lots of times

My cat Was there a verb there? Or was it just My Cat as a transgender? Last month, my cat is a transgender. Oh, it is a transgender. Tense is all wrong. That doesn't make sense. I have a feeling that the rain is not real. Yes.

She cannot be a real person. I've got one more tweet here and then it all kind of starts unfolding. Okay. I think this is maybe my favourite tweet ever, and it'll never get better than this. Two words. Holmes under the hammer. Heart eye emoji, heart eye emoji

But hammer Spelled H-A-N-M-E-R Hanmer Oh, Holmes under the Hanmer Oh Lorraine Two words Homes under the Hanmer Lorraine

So the new edition From her first appearance many months ago Was that she now has a link To a website and a Twitter bio That our nephew can't he put together A nephew Yeah, the nephew Because the son wasn't good enough

He was being locked in his cage Yeah So Lorraine Not happy with eBay Or Gumture or anything like that Or the Facebook marketplace Has her own private

Online Marketplace Has she? Right And on it she stocks Perjos Perjos Damn right She's got two on there right now

Both in awful condition One Failed its MOT So you have to find a way To roll it off the drive Because you can't legally drive it Okay good On there is a smash tablet

an Amazon Fire 7 inch for 15 pounds. Oh, that's not bad. I mean, it's got a smash screen, but... Yeah, for 15 quid, that's fine. I think the ultimate item for sale is her son's hamster. Oh, God. Are you sure it's not hamster? Handster.

I'm just zooming on the page here. So the title reads, My son's pedigree Syrian hamster. Brackard's... Yeah. Twelve days old. Oh, God. Oh, no.

Well, that can't be right. Is that gone in 12 days? Aren't they all tiny little hairless, like little lumps when they're born? I'm assuming it's, you know, it's 12 days since he bought it, and she just assumes they're born on the deer if you buy them. He's 12 days old, because that's how long I've seen him. Therefore, that is his age. I mean, it's an ancient hamster as well.

It's like 13, and she's, nope, it's 12 days old. How days you decide the legal age for my hamster? Time to ship it off. You simple boy. So she says in the description, I'm selling it. I don't want it in the house anymore. My son did not get my permission, and I don't want it. Must go today. Today.

She is, uh, she's, she doesn't seem like a great parent, even though we've sort of decided that she's not real. Yeah. Yeah. So like, this is kind of where things fall apart. So we started digging even further into this, doing reverse image searches and stuff like that. And we realized the pictures, none of them are actually her pictures. They're all just taken from other places online. What? What are. crazy amount of effort to go to because she's not even doing anything like she's not even like a pro-Trump

pro-Brexit bot that's been employed by the Russians she just tweets about perjos in letting her pretend son into yogcon yeah I think my favorite thing of all this is that this account has been going for about a year now and it's been putting her along doing tweets on occasion to mass 20 followers

and still to the state still's going it's I want to believe this is just someone bored role playing an angry middle-aged mother. That's such a weird thing. How many tweets have they got? Let's have a quick look. Actually, if you want to look at a website, it's Lorraine.organs.

Okay, so Lorraine, is it just Lorraine.organs? That's it, no.com, no, nothing, just Lorraine.organs. Lorraine. Right, the fact that they've set up a website where they could, oh my God, it's got a phone number. Yeah. The fact that they've set up this website with a phone number, there's the hamster. Oh my God, there's the hamster. The fact they've set up this website

where, I suppose, legally, according to the dot bargains website, if someone buys this, they legally have to send it to them, right? I forgot to mention the... I kind of want to call their bluff. Do you want to buy a perjure or a hamster? No, this is the thing. It's $2.99. There we go.

I forgot to mention the price of it. The hamster's $2.99. I totally overlooked that, yeah. It's three pounds. How do you spell the rain? I can't get onto this. I'll send you a link, Peter Hang on, here you go

I'll spell out for people at home L-O-R-R-A-I-N-E dot bars That's how I was spelling it Let's have a look at these crap cars Oh, I put braggins Braggins Lorraine Braggins Oh wow, it's all in capitals

Here is my Perjo 206 SW HDR car This car one runs very well The condition is in a very used state With dents to passenger side as per photos, the car has been serviced every year, and I have spent a lot of money on it in the last few years. The engine runs like a dream, spelled DRWM. I have had the cam belt changed at 90,000 miles, a new back axle, spout AXL, a new wiper motor, and linkage,

and a new battery in winter. This will make a cheap car for someone for work. Please email any questions. Do we email Lorraine? Oh, fuck. Actually, yeah, should we start an ongoing investigation and just see what happens? We could do. There's no email. The product description for the Amazon Fire Tablet is just, my old Amazon Fire Tablet, you can use it for YouTube, Twitter and Facebook. That's what tablets are for, really, aren't they? Those four things.

The three apps. Yeah. Oh, the other car, it says one rear door locked opens sometimes. so yeah there is a contact form on this website so i might chuck him a cheeky email after this please do please do please report back as well i don't want to call that number but i'm happy to throw away two pounds 99 pence on a hamster to see what happens hey we've got a bit of viduits money you know in the bank from the kind donators this is what this is what it's for you know what fuck it i'm going i'm checking out now

are you buying the hamster yeah fuck it Oh, I have to put in my personal details. I do not want to do that. Damn it. Could you put in the Yogscast office? Post some tat. Because she's been angrily tweeting Terps and Lewis and Simon trying to get things resolved.

So I might just put in one of their names. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty harmless, right? If not, we can just email. We'll see how it goes. Anyway, we'll leave that with you, Mikey. That was wonderful. Thank you for introducing us to Lorraine.

The wild ride of Lorraine. That was fantastic. I wanted to get off for Lorraine's. wild ride. Find out more soon. Before we move on to Peter's Thing, we've got a question here

from Becker Lidston or Lidstone at Becker Lidstone on Twitter. If you had to spend the rest of your lives communicating through animal noises, which animal

would you choose? Parrot, so I can speak. I was thinking that, but that's cheating, Peter. It is cheating. That's just one, sort of one phrase over and over again,

though, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I think if you're going to be a parrot, you just end up screaming forever, like a cockatoo. or something, it's, I'm sure it makes sense to them, but Jesus Christ.

It's you. That's why you're a parrot boy. Oh, shit, yeah. Oh, what do I want to be? I mean, dolphins sound pretty badass. Echo location and clicks and all that. Yeah, they're also, yeah, actually I was going to say, but they're also rapists, but then you wouldn't be a dolphin, would you? You'd just communicate like one. Oh, that's true.

Are there any animals that we can sort of understand at this point? I know there was a man inside Coco, the gorilla. Yeah, but that was sign language. didn't speak that was sign language wow yeah um how about dogs do a pretty good job of communicating with each other yeah you're sort of growling and grumbling and barking excitedly i think that would work yeah they seem to get sort of most of it i don't know what do you guys think i've got um i've got this um here we go okay remember this video it was actually we used it as a sound once for the ball mixer

I would communicate as the lynxes that have an argument with each other I guess Ben if you can just pipe it into the video the podcast I'll put that in now this is so big and cool

who runs into this oh my god but you want to be a lynx specifically near De Norwick. Yeah, I guess those ones. They breed them special out there. To be fair, like that is fucking amazing that video. Because animals can be quite emotive, like cats and dogs and stuff.

You can tell different emotions and different pictures and stuff. They don't give me enough credit. No. That video, just the slow sort of weird head butts that they do to each other. Just like gently touching heads together as they make weird, growly human noises. That's very bizarre. Oh, it's hypnotising. Very bizarre.

Another quick question before Peter. This is from Brightside at Brightside underscore, B-R-Y-T-E-Side. What brag-slash-stunt did you think was cool when you were younger and now cringe at looking back? Oh, God. Bragg slash stunt. I have one that I can kick us off with. Okay. I used to ride a micro-scooter for quite a while.

Whoa. like for way too long like until I was quite big and I used to write it around the village yeah I did yeah used to deliver the papers on it just because it was super handy

and super like you know you could scoot around it was great it's perfect and one of my tricks that I thought was a trick that at the time I thought this is I'm a fucking cool dude yeah I look cool

people people looking old Mrs Smith is looking out the window she thinks that's a cool dude right there If I were 90 years younger And how old is this woman 90 years younger? Yeah, no, she was old What I used to do as one of my scooter tricks was I would scoot And then I would take both of my feet

I would jump off the, you know, sort of the body of it where you put your feet And then quickly touch both feet on the floor And then quickly jump back on again and keep going Like I thought it was a big sort of really cool trick Where I was like, oh yeah, look, I'm not even on the scooter and now I'm back on it again. How cool is that? But actually what I was doing was I was going not very fast

and then I practically came to a complete stop and then I got back on the scooter carefully and kept going. And it was really, I mean, yeah, it wasn't great. See, like, I'm unfazed by this because the other day I was walking to work as you do and I saw a fully grown man, I think probably is no younger than 25, doing a wheelie down the street on his on his micro scooter

on a micro scooter yeah so it was like it was like the scooter bars went up to like his below his waist so he had to really bend down to use it and control the thing and I was just like holy shit imagine having that confidence Jesus that's amazing that is amazing I did I hear it I think actually as a kid I

I think I was a bit of an edge lord and that I was raised on like 4chan humor and stuff nice so like I was just a little shit essentially and thankfully I grew out of that but I used to think it made me really cool to be like argumentative and all atheists and shit but yeah I'm not interred anymore everyone goes through that phase to an extent yeah oh yeah I mean one of my sort of moments where I was a bit of an asshole as a as a kid was uh on the school bus when I was at secondary school uh when we were we were on the on the drive home one time and we used to always drive past this hair salon it was

called Linda's hair stylists. And on the sort of signage out the front, they had their phone number. And as we were driving past, I think other people had already been doing prank calls on the drive home, just to various numbers. I think they were typing in just random numbers

and like seeing if anyone would answer, you know, if you get a number that actually works. As we went past that hairstylists, it was my turn to do a phone call. So I typed in the number that was on the outside and I rang up. and under instruction from those who had challenged me to my prank call, I had to ask if I could have a perm on my balls.

No, that's not cringy at all, though. That's really cool. Right. So I rang off and she went, Linda's hair thyleth. And I said, hi, yeah. I wondered, like, can I, could you do a perm? And that is a weird question to ask. Even, you know, obviously it was because I was doing a prank call.

But imagine if you're just a barber's and someone rings up and says, can you do a perm. It's like, well, yes, I can. So she went, do a, yeah, yeah, we can do a perm. And I went, yeah, on my balls. And then she just went, yeah, well, I think you probably don't have enough hair on there. And I was like, oh, God, brutal, Linda. She got you, Linda killed Peter Austin.

She did. She really did me there. How old were you at the time? I think it was, I'd only been at the school for like a year or so, so it's probably about 12 or 13. Okay, so full, full bush then. So you would have been fine. Linda didn't know what she was talking about. She could have seen it from the school bus window if she's looked out of the shop.

There goes that hedge bus again. Yeah. Peter occupies the entire top floor of the bus. Yeah. I don't think you've got enough hair. It's like, what, Linda, look out the window. I'm passing right now. Fun fact, Peter is actually the reason that open top buses were invented. Yeah. because he just needed that extra room. We used to have a closed top bus

and it was like a health hazard in there really. It was unpleasant. It kept getting caught on trees. Peter just kept getting tangled in overhead foliage. Yeah, I was always getting told off of being late. We lost him again. God. And luckily there's there are pills for that now, aren't they?

And you take those and you're fine. No, I don't take pills. I have a perm on my balls now. Oh, it's just a really tight, compact perm. Yeah. Took you 20 years to find someone to like actually follow through. Take me seriously. And now he's marrying her.

It's beautiful. Wonderful. Well, thank you for that question. Peter, from one of your things to another, what have you brought? It's kind of, it's funny, actually. It's kind of to do with being cool, but also not cool at all and slightly cringy. Can we put that as the description for us? Yeah.

Vidiots. Definitely. Slightly cool, but not cool at all, cringy. I want to take a historical look at some of the things that people do nowadays that they've done all along throughout history for a lot longer than you think. Things that they think are cool, but they're not cool now, and they never have been. So why have we ever decided this is a thing? This actually originally came from the fact that I found a weird capeteer article called

Maternal insult. Sorry. God. So it's basically the Wikipedia article for Yo Mama. Oh, okay. It exists. Wow, maternal insult. That's amazing.

So there's a very dry and, you know, thorough description of it in the opening paragraph. And then there's a section of historical examples that go back surprisingly far. So, first I'll tell you how Wikipedia in its Wikipedia tone of voice describes maternal insults. A maternal insult also referred to as a, quote, Yo mama quote joke, is a reference to a person's mother through the use of phrases such as your mother or other regional variants,

frequently used to insult the target by way of their mother. Used as an insult, your mother preys on widespread sentiments of filial piety, making the insult particularly and globally offensive. I don't even know what filial piety means. I'm going to Google it. Can you spell filial for me?

Oh, it's a virtue of respect for one's parents, elders and ancestors. Oh. So it's the idea that we respect our mothers. Therefore, if someone insults that person who we respect, then that is offensive. This is the most Wikipedia thing I've ever heard. It's amazing. It is. Your mother can be combined with most types of insults,

although suggestions of promiscuity are particularly common. Insults based on obesity, height, hairiness, laziness. incest, age, race, poverty, poor hygiene, unattractiveness, homosexuality or stupidity may also be used. Thanks Wikipedia. Wow. That's the entire spectrum of jokes there. It is. Compared to other types of insults, your mother insults are especially likely to incite violence, apparently. Oh, okay. And there's a citation for that. Let me see the name of the article.

Jeffrey Stewart, 2006, the mother of all insults, the guardian. Okay, fine. We're nearly done, and then I'll give you the historical examples. Slang variants such as yo mama, your mama, your ma, your mum, your mom, your mom, your mom, or your mom. That was great. Did you just have a stroke? Are sometimes used, depending on the local dialect. Insults involving your mother are commonly used when playing the dozens.

I don't know what that is either. God. That doesn't. I think it's just some sort of verbal... It's like an insult, you know, what'd you call it? Like a roasting battle thing. Oh, yeah.

So, historical examples... Here we go. I don't know where this is going to reverse order. No, I don't know. William Shakespeare used such a device in Act 1, Scene 1, of the Timon of Athens or Tyman. Amy?

Have you heard of the Timon of Athens or the Tyman of Athens? No, okay. We don't know how it's pronounced. Anyway, it's pronounced. It's spelled like Simon, but with a tea. Oh, okay. So this character implies that someone else's mother is a bitch. Okay.

So the painter says, you are a dog. And Appomatus replies, Thy mothers of my generation. What's she if I be a dog? Oh, that was great. I love that wording. Tushé. It's so good.

He just danced around the point for the sake of an extra barb. Yeah, absolutely. And then there's two cases. Oh, no, so there's two cases from this same play, actually. So also, in Act 4, Scene 2, and this is Titus Andronicus,

Aaron taunts his lover's sons Demetrius says Villan what hast thou done Aaron says Thou which thou canst not undo Kyron says Thou hast undone our mother And Aaron says

Villan I have done thy mother Whoa Oh shit God it's It's beautiful This is by far Shakespeare's greatest work It is but best of all Got if he

Got if he Ha ha The Bible has an example of this We're going to the Bible now There is a your mum joke in the Bible Excellent Name it

King Joram is greeted by the rebel Jihu or Yehu with a hostile expression concerning Joram's mother When Joram saw Jahu He said Is it peace Jihu And he answered

What peace So long as the harlot trees of your mother Jezebel and her witchcrafts are so many. Whoa. I'm using that. Damn Bible scribes. Jesus.

Absolutely brutal. Now, how can the good book be so ill? Some guy was pulling around and heard that. I was like, oh, fuck, I'm writing that down. That's cool. That was amazing. This is just the Bible writer

who sort of hides in bushes during all of these events. He hides a Peter's Bush, actually. Yeah, well. Lots of things do. Under cover of Peter's Bush, we observe the Bible. Jabal jousting.

And the last thing I wanted to just throw in because it kind of reminded me that this is a thing. I think actually now that I'm about to read it, I feel like I might have talked about this in a video or something before. But anyway, I'll just gloss over it. I'll do a minute or so. Basically, in Pompeii, where the volcano erupted

and everything was covered in lava, as well as perfectly preserving people and a dog that was chained up and stuff like that. And the man who was masturbating. A man who was masturbating, yeah. Apparently so. There's loads of graffiti that's been perfectly preserved in, just on walls and stuff.

And people literally write exactly the same kind of things as like stereotypical graffiti nowadays. Like, you know, so and so was here. Such and such is gay. So let me look for an example. There's things like... There are dicks all over Hadrian's wall. well. Oh, they're really? Yeah, I saw a news story like today about it. Oh, that's cool. On the house of Orpheus, someone wrote, I have buggered men.

Fine. Poor Orpheus. Yeah, Jesus. What are you going to do? You're just going to take that wall out and put it back in? How do you sort that graffiti? Yeah, I don't know. There's a big brag here from Anonymous. He said, I screwed a lot of girls here. Oh, nice. Wow, nice, that's a cool guy. Someone else where I put, Solemnese, you screw well. Oh, geez. That's quite, you know.

Does it like send a carrier pigeon to X Forticus Street for a good time? Yeah. So there's a bit of wisdom, though. A small problem gets larger if you ignore it. Oh, that's true. That's true. So Tumblr existed then as well.

That's good to know. Samius to Cornelius Go hang yourself I like how he specified who he was and who was talking to This is for you Yeah, from me To you, from me

Hang yourself We haven't really evolved As a species have for you We're still the same at our call I think we're peaked I think we're here Yeah, that's the top Oh my God

Someone's literally like Sort of almost texted their friend here On an awkward blind date They've put the man I am having dinner with is a barbarian. Wow. My God. Okay, well, we've got to end on this.

This is not just another talk about buggery and penises, but it's also kind of some words of wisdom. Ready for this? Yeah. The one who buggers a fire burns his penis. Oh, that's excellent. Never thought about it like that. Yeah.

That's really smart. I'm going to stop buggering. fire now. Yeah, I explain so much. Yeah. Keep burning my Wilson. There you go. So we've not changed, you know.

We've been doing your mum jokes and, uh, you know, Ben is gay, basically, uh, for, yeah, for so many years. For all of the times. Wow, what an educational journey. Yeah, thank you, Peter. Thank you. Next question here. This is from Gaz, first of his name.

I'm sorry to tell you, Gary, but you're not. At Bamshute Club on Twitter. I am currently in the hospital. waiting for my daughter to be born. What should I call her? I mean, if it's not Gaz, then your name's a lie, because you should just call your daughter at Gaz. Well, no. I was going to say let there, some people reply in the comments and the most voted answer, you'll have to name your child that. Oh, man. But I do want to try and submit some of my own answers first.

Potato Smiley. I think the child will have been born by then. Oh shit. Potato Smiley? Yeah. Yeah, peace smiles, peace miles. Peace miles. Peace, missile. Oh. What about David Benson? Oh, that's good, yeah.

What about Neil? Yeah. Do you just list off all the in-jokes that we have, all the... Yeah, just the pantheon. What about Miley? Dom. Oh, Miley. Jeff, maybe.

Billy. Paul. Goblin. Well, I guess it's just coming out of the portal. This is Goblin Jenkins. Oh, I'm a nice little goblin. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl. What's your favourite unisex name?

Daughter, daughter. Oh, daughter. Oh, yeah, no, we do, actually. My daughter is being born. Sorry, I forgot that. Immediately. I forgot. Potato smileys are inherently genderless.

So, I think... No, I could go for potato smileys. That's good. Yeah. There you go. Oh, that's it then, guys. Potterosmeles. Congratulations and welcome potterosmeles to the world.

It's official. We've spoken. Yeah. And that's what your child is called. Brilliant. You fool. Why did you ask us, you idiot? You idiot.

Potterosmeles. Oh, it's very... Oh, dear. That's like you'd find that scribed on Hadrian's wall. Yeah. Someone telling them the gay. Your mother has potter tostmalies. I've got a thing.

Yeah, you've got a thing. Thing me now. Got a thing. Thing you swang into tomorrow. So there's this website called The Onion. Oh, yeah. There is. I'm familiar.

Yeah, it posts satirical news stories that seem almost, I mean, they could be real, but they're slightly too ridiculous to be real. And there's a Reddit, subreddit, called Not the Onion, where people post real news stories in there that look, that are so ridiculous looking that they might as well have come from satirical news website, The Onion. Right. I've got four stories here for you. Some of them might be from The Onion.

Some of them might be real. I'm going to run through them, and you two are going to decide which ones are real, and which ones are from The Onion. I'm good at this game. It's the interrogation here. You're pretty good at this game. I'm going to read all four of the headlines first, and then we'll go through them, and you guys can decide one way or the other. Good. You ready?

Yeah. Flight crew restrains God aboard Delta flight returns to Puerto Rico. Amazing. Okay. Next one. Wolf of Wall Street producer Reza Aziz arrested on money laundering charges. Oh.

Interesting. Number three. Drug dealer calls police for burglary but forgets that he has 3.5 kilograms of cocaine. You can imagine as he puts the phone down, like, ah, fuck, fuck, fuck shit, not said that. And finally, Alabama fugitive who fed meth-to-pet attack squirrel named D's nuts charged with wildlife offence. I'm going to say now, I think potentially all of these are real. Yeah, none of them, like, tickled my gut instinct.

Could we have a quick run-through once more? Yeah. Okay. Flight crew restrains God aboard Delta Flight returns to Puerto Rico. I want to say real. That's someone with, like, delusion or, yeah. I think that somebody thinks they're God, so I'm saying real. I think someone might just name the child God. Oh, well, maybe so, yeah.

They might do. That one's real. Yeah. That's a real boy. How could you fuck up God like that? Well, I mean, I'll tell you. Delta Airlines flight attendants restrained a passenger on a flight from Puerto Rico to New York after he shouted, I am God, and claimed he would save the world, forcing the plane to return to the airport in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Oh, sorry, in San Juan, comma. Puerto Rican police and the airline said on Wednesday, That's a weirdly worded sentence, that one. God, but that's amazing. Delta credited passengers with helping subdue the man who became unruly on board. Typical god. They then took the man into custody. The suspect was aggressive and shouted, I am God.

San Juan is going to disappear tomorrow. I came to save the world, and I am going to end terrorism. And he also tried to enter the main cabin, the statement said. I'm going to end terrorism, he says, banging on the door of the cockpit. this is the final terrorism it ends here i trust him he is so brave that only god would do that right it makes so little sense that only god would do that yeah do you remember the story about the really fat guy on a plane who forced the stewardesses into wiping his bum for him oh god i think i have heard about that i'm my pleasure it was disgusting awful he's on the no-fly list i'm i hope

apparently was a serial offender it's happened a few times well there we go bar and from flying. It's right, please. Simple, he's got to take boats everywhere now. If he's incapable of wiping his own butt, then, you know, he just needs to fly with someone, you know, a significant other or a carer who will do that. Like, well, how does he cope at home?

He doesn't have stewardesses in the bathroom waiting. Because he's a pervert. Yeah, well, I know, yeah. Pervert, man. He is. Article 2 was Wolf of Wall Street producer, Risa Aziz, arrested on money laundering charges. True.

Yeah, everyone in Hollywood is a criminal. A crinimal. Two words, criminal. Reza Aziz, producer of the Wolf of Wall Street, was arrested Thursday in Malaysia in connection with the looting of a massive investment fund set up by his stepfather and former Prime Minister of Malaysia, Najib Razak.

Nice. It's real. Yeah. That's a real one. So he was the co-founder of Red Granite Pictures, which produced the Martin Scorsese directed Wolf in 2013. So he's a producer kind of on a technicality, it feels. He just happens to have co-founded Debra.

Right. He's got money. The studio, yeah. But that's unfortunate, isn't it? Whoops. That you would do that. Next up, drug dealer calls police for burglary, but forgets that he has 3.5 kilograms of cocaine. God, that's a lot as well.

Please be true. It's not quite silly enough for the onion, I think. It could be onion, but I think it's true. It is true. Oh, nice. So this one is, I think it's a South African publication. And as such, the way that this is written is all slightly strange. And it uses a lot of slang and stuff that I don't really understand.

So I can't recount any information for you. It's like BBC Pigeon. Yeah. Kind of, yeah. So basically you get the idea from the headline. That's all you get. Okay. And finally, Alabama fugitive who fed meth to pet attack squirrel,

named D's Nuts, charged with wildlife offence. Absolutely, please. This is the most onion-like, but yeah, I still think this is true as well. An Alabama man accused of feeding methamphetamine to what authorities call an attack squirrel is being charged with a state wildlife offence. Court records show 35-year-old Mickey Joel Pork is now charged with a legal possession of wildlife. Pork hasn't pork? it's P-A-U-L-K

I think Polk Paul okay Paul It's difficult With a K I'm going to do A P-P-L-A-K

Pull with a K Pull with a K Has denied having a pet squirrel Which is illegal under state law But he has denied Oh he's sorry He hasn't denied having a pet squirrel But he has denied police allegations

That he fed meth to the squirrel To make it aggressive Officers Enters encountered the animal During a raid at an apartment Paul with a K later told the Associated Press he had the squirrel since it was a baby

and would never give it drugs I thought you were going to say would never give it up but no he would never give it drugs never give it drugs I didn't raise you like this D's nuts you're my son S-U-N

Limestone County Sheriff's officers arrested Paul with a K last week following a chase in which he allegedly rammed an investigator's vehicle he faces illegal gun possession and other charges and then at the bottom I don't know why it just says

D's nuts and then colon Alabama fugitive arrested after car chase Right I don't really know what that's about That's from USA Today Via the Associated Press Well there we go It was a clean sweep this week

I remember it's not so much a competition It's about learning about some strange stuff in the world I look that game It was a good kerfetamine attack squirrel Yeah And then later there'll be authorities confiscate the squirrel And sold it on Lorraine dot bargains for

For two nights Squirrel, three days old for sale, must go today. One day old, fully grown squirrel. Yeah. That's how long I've had it. It's a day old. Final question. This comes from Sam slash Reg at Reg Media underscore Zero-Z who says,

bollocks, I keep missing the window on these. Is that it? That British guy at rightly wrongly on Twitter asks, only two of you may, only two of you may, maybe. visit the moon. Which two get to go. I don't want to go. Oh. Well, that's settled then. All right, Mikey, we're off. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. I was about to, I was going to talk up and down the benefits that each of us bring to the table. No, I'm scared. I don't want to go to the moon, please. You don't want to go to the moon? No. I feel like it's safer to go

to the moon than it is to go to Mars, but it's still obviously very risky. I don't even like going abroad. I will let me stay home. Better dorm is enough for me, all right? Stay home. Everyone knows the moon's made of cheese. Just, I'm fine, thanks. Also, the wrong trousers, not the wrong trousers, that horrible, scary dishwasher things up there for Hollis and Gromit. Yeah. What's he called?

Cooker. Cooker. That's his official name. That does make sense. That's terrifying. I wouldn't want to run into that. That would be my number one concern. Yeah.

Well, Mikey looks like we're going to the moon. Sick, right. What do you want to do up there? I want to go skiing. I want to do a backflip. Oh, actually, yeah. you do all the flips. Oh, fuck, yeah.

I can finally do a backflip. Don't jump too hard, though. Just push myself off. Because you will just go forever. Well, if we do that, we'll do it on the side of the planet facing towards Earth. So then if I do do that, I'll land nice and safe. Yeah, you'll land nice and safely on the ground. Perfectly logical.

It's like when North Korea did a manned mission to the sun, but they went at nighttime so that he wouldn't burn. That happened. Yeah, they did. they did that. Yeah, absolutely. It was totally safe and it did happen. Well, there we go. Thank you so much for listening to Poddietz this week.

We really appreciate it. If you want to support us financially, you can do so at store.orgscast.com where you can find some merchandise. I believe there is a discount code as well. Oh, you were correct. Oh, that was very high-pitched. Oh, you are correct. And that discount code is Vidyots.

Use that at checkout for 10% of everything. Every single item on the Oggscast store. Somebody did ask us that if they use that code on our merchandise, do we lose out on money? Because they're not paying as much. That's a good point. I think, I mean, logically, I think we still get the same commission, but we also get an extra bit because our discount code was used.

Yeah. I think. I never actually thought about like that. That would be a weird counterproductive loophole, wouldn't it? Yeah, I don't think they would have added a code and told us all to promote our codes if it was going to make us less money. I don't think that's how it works. Yeah, there's a potty shirt up there if you'd like to buy that.

I'm sure we'll get some new merch up there at some point as well, which we'll talk about on here. A big thank you to those of you who've donated since the last show, Carl Richardson, Rachel Stanhope, East Burius, Tom and Ben Davies. You can do that over at streamlabs.com forward slash vidi, it's official. any amount is gratefully received. We really appreciate it and we'll give you a shout out on the show.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Twitter, Facebook.com forward slash Vidiates Official. If you want to find us there, we upload things intermittently to YouTube and we also stream sometimes at twitch.tv.tv.

It's official. I'm going to be streaming this weekend. The weekend this podcast is released with my friend Ben. Nice. And decided what we're going to play but there'll be two bends twice the bends it's been so confusing

it I mean we look different so hopefully that'll make it easier for you but if you want to come we'll probably play something stupid so do come along pay attention to the social media and we'll post about it when we know what we're going to play probably be on Saturday there we go what else we got here

yogs cast that's where Mikey's based he's doing all kinds of exciting stuff for yogcon is there anything you want to plug regarding yogcon Mikey. It's chugging along nicely. We're shooting some videos for it. It's going to be a wonderful experience. But sadly, you've all missed your chance to buy a ticket anyway.

So enjoy the live stream. Enjoy the live stream. Lorraine's son will be there with his camera. Although he may not be volunteering at this point. It's hard to know. Yeah. Congress close. He's either 16 or 19.

He either has a massive camera or he doesn't have a hamster anymore. He's got one GCSE. He's got one GCS. GCCC, that he may have sat very late. He might also be a gaseous ball. You never know. Because he's a son. You just have to go and find out.

Well, in that case, I guess it would be nice if he did come to York Col. It would be nice if he had some son. You think? Oh, I thought you meant it would be nice. You could get on with him very well if he's a gaseous ball. Oh, very good, very good. Yeah. Nice.

I think it'd be pretty dangerous to get close, not just because he's, you know, full of gas, but because he's actually, you know, very, very warm. Oh, yeah. Source of ignition. Well, we'll horse your con at night. It'll be fine.

Also, hang on. Another, I know we've decided that she's not real. But how can he be attending and he's got a ticket with a camera? But then he's also volunteered? How the fuck did we miss that one? That doesn't make any sense at all. I'm going to assume it's two sons at this point. It's all real.

It's just very convoluted. It's all real. There's just two sons. They just move really fast. You just can't see them. They just look like one person. Finally, YouTube.com forward slash team triplejump or triplejju.mp, that's triplejjur.mop.

If you want to find Peter and I on a daily basis, we do worst games ever. We do streams. We do lists. We're returning some popular shows from last year soon. So please come in and check those out if you don't mind. And finally, finally, leave us an iTunes review or LRA reviews slash writing on your platform of choice.

something to do with algorithms. Guys, do we have a secret question? Oh, I don't. Should we just name that guy's daughter? Yeah, everyone named that guy's daughter.

Right. Beautiful. Sounds good. Sorry, I was just taking a drink. I was expecting more discussion. No, no, no, no. What did you expect after the moon? Moon question. Yeah, I don't want to go.

Lisa just really pulled the rug out. You can tell someone wants to go to bed, can't you? Bloody hell. I don't want to go to bed? I just don't want to go to the moon. Sure, it sounds like you want to go to bed. Sounds like Peter wants to go to bed. Yeah.

I'm just dream of being on Earth. We're not going to send you to the moon, Peter. Don't worry, don't worry. It's fine. Can you give Kevin a poke? It's time. Yeah, I will. Kevin.

Kevin? Kevin. Oh. Yep. Oh, I hear it. It's happening. Okay. Thank you so much, everybody, for listening.

We'll be back in a couple. a couple of weeks time. Until then, keep it cool, you radical... Radical dudes? Yeah, raddudes. Keep it cool, yeah. Do it all at night time. Yeah, when no one can see. Okay, bye, bye, everyone. Bye! Bye!

Thank you.