Podiots - Podiots: Episode 33 - Fran (Meat Face)

Episode Date: July 23, 2019

Peter's got a meat face, Ben's Naruto running into a US Air base, and Mikey's made friends with some famous animals. Donate to get a shout out! - https://streamlabs.com/vidiotsofficial Buy our merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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leased a 2026 X-E-90 plug-in hybrid from $599 biweekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions apply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Oh, so hard to do with a delay in that really difficult. Just close your ears and sing to your heart's content. I always do, Michael. I always do.

Oh, good for you, Ben. Good for you. Thank you. Have many of you guys seen it? Kevin this week. Kevin was around at mine a few days ago, but he's not here anymore. Oh, did you have more for tea? I did, yeah.

Oh, what did you have? Well, what I had to do, because we had just potato smileys, just loads of potato smileys. And in order to get him to eat it, like he wouldn't open his mouth, and so I had to pretend that a podcast was starting, I had to say, you know,

I'd had to stand near him with a plate of potato smileys and just say, right guys are you are you ready shall we go okay let's let's run the intro and then he sort of opened his mouth and did the noise and then I shoved him in every potato smiley yeah that's what that was I was wondering because as we discussed before that frequency can be heard around the world yeah and um I heard that and I was like what the fuck it was Kevin did why is there a podcast beginning somewhere seven times in a row this is this is weird yeah and he didn't choke no he didn't I don't think he, I think he just, he's like a duck.

He just swallows, you know, there's no chewing involved. He didn't need to rub his throat or anything to induce, didn't have to put the potato smiley inside a piece of chicken, like a tablet for a cat. Kevin. So no one's seen him? No. Literally no idea where he is. I thought he was with you, but I guess not.

Oh, God. No, no, he's not. Maybe he'll just know, though, inherently, intrinsically, instinctively. hello yes hello one of those words yeah if we keep talking he'll eventually just do it i'm sure yeah you uh you got any plans to visit the north-east any time soon mike i'm trying to figure out some dates but i'm looking at september so you know oh okay you know that'll be good oh oh jeez there it is there it is that's the noise that's the noise go here Hello everybody and welcome to Podiot's the official Vidiads, Podcast.

And if you can imagine me doing karate chops in between those words, that'd be great because I can't do them in real life. It's a conversational podcast. Hello everybody and welcome to Poddy. It's the official video. Podcast. Well, now everybody knows that I can't do that, and that was just me hitting the microphone. We'll edit out the first bit. It's fine.

We'll go straight into the karate chop version. Cool. All right. It's going to sound amazing. Thanks, guys. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the laws of the three urs, where everybody brings... A-thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter.

I'm Michael. We're getting more consistent than that. I think it's because I'm not trying to be funny anymore. I'm just going along with it and saying my name like a good boy. The best part about it is when we do it right and then we talk for about a minute and a half afterwards about us doing it right. Yeah. quality content how we doing boys

good good yeah I'm covered in ferret scratches but that's not new is it that's just my life now I'm glad you said scratches I thought you're going to say scratchings which is a whole different it's like a horrible pub snack

ferret scratchings I thought you were going to go the poopie route oh no no thankfully I've never been pooped on but now I've said that that's bound to happen that will happen yeah never been pooped on that surprises me actually

I just kind of expected that that's part of being a ferretman. Just kind of being shot on. Birds, birds will shit on you. They don't give a crap. Ferrets tend to be a bit cleaner. Well, cleaner in that respect. The poop everywhere still just not on me, which is all right, I guess. Peter and I have to dodge a daily bombing run.

Oh, my God. From the Kitty wakes. Oh, is it the Tyne Bridge? It is the Tyne Bridge, isn't it? Well, they're everywhere, but yeah, they're on the Time Bridge. Those are our particular foils. Yeah. It just stinks.

They're not allowed to be moved because they nest there once a year. It's the largest, or it's the most inland nesting site. It's like a world record. The site, really specific record, though. The most inland kitty wake nesting site. In Newcastle. Yeah, probably not even in the world. Probably just like, in the north of England or something.

I hate it. thinkiest nesting of Kittie Wicks in the world. It just really smells. They've taken, the council have taken to washing the pavements, but it makes no difference because by the time you're walking home, you're like, is this the day that I am holding my nose and breathing through my mouth because it smells so much and I'm going to get a bird poo in my mouth hole?

Is today the day? Actually, I want to talk a little bit about either breathing through your mouth or breathing through your nose when there's a bad smell. Oh, this is a good point, yeah. Breathing through your mouth is almost worse Yes, through your nose it smells But through your mouth, I feel like you are tasting particles of that smell

Which to me seems worse Yeah, to me I kind of feel like The nose, although you do smell with it, it kind of just has more in there to keep bad things out You know, yes, you will smell it But it's got all kinds of hairs And mucous red blades

To, you know, catch bad things Whereas your mouth just goes straight to your lungs You know, there's nothing in there really to, I think you have some hairs in like your trachea and stuff. Is track here, is that the right one or is that the food hole? I don't know. Whichever one, whichever hole you want it to be. Yeah, I think that was right with that.

Yeah. I like to do a subtle, breathe through the mouth, but purse it to the side. So sort of, just out of the side. You can't breathe very good. Like Popeye. Equally, exactly, just like Popeye. But you shouldn't have to do it for very long, hopefully, because you're getting the hell out of there. Yeah.

Wherever the stink smell is. There's been many occasions in the Yogscast toilets where I've been able to contemplate the mouth breathing or nose breathing. Sometimes I resorted just covering my face with my t-shirt and just putting up with it. Yeah, that's always a good shout. Filter it. Yeah. A lot of nerd boys. A lot of nerd boys in that Yogscast office. It wasn't too bad at the Coltolic office, but the office has expanded significantly. There's a lot of action in that tiny, tiny toilet. There is, and it's getting real bad in there.

like the seat is just all like hanging off and yeah it's not good that's why i just go out the window yeah yeah they had it right in the middle ages that's how you do it just poo off a balcony into a pit a poop pit a little poop pit that's what we should go go back to in my opinion so i'd like to start off guys by saying that you may remember i brought a thing along last year. Oh my God. About a haunted cassette tape. Holy shit.

I forgot about this. Christ. Yeah, me too. I forgot about this. I can confirm, and I forgot to do it last week, so my apologies, but I can confirm that Andrew Bone

at Link 220 on Twitter has the cassette and has ripped the second part and sent it to me. My... My fucking God. See, I knew that... I'd seen that he'd said that you had it,

and that was very exciting. but I didn't want to, you know, count my chickens before they had been sent to Ben and they had been digitally digitized. Yeah. I've got it. I can confirm I've got it. I've listened to it. It's pretty spooky.

Okay. It's not happen. I don't want to get your hopes up. I'm just giving you a heads up. It's not happening this episode because I want to do this properly. I want to do it when Michael is back up in Newcastle and we can do this face to face. I want to be able to, I want that to be my, a thing for when we are, when we can next do a potty, it's in, in the flesh. Yeah, that feels right.

I just wanted to let everyone know that thank you to Mr. Bone. Would you like to ride the Bone train, Morty? We've got it. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. Thank you, Mr. Bone. Thank you, Mr. Bone. We did it, read it. And finally, before we move on to our first question, I would just like to reiterate as we, as we have done the last couple of shows, that if you'd like to support us financially directly, be.

beyond, you know, downloading and listening, which we appreciate very, very much. You can go to streamlabs.com forward slash vidiates official, and you can donate. And if you donate, you get a shout-out, just like these amazing people who have all donated since the last episode, them being Kieran Smith, Tash Darren Hudson Strider, which is a great name and not several people. Callum Marshall, Cameron Skelly, Katie Kins, Samuel de Barber, I Will Lie Awake, James W. Bab, E. Spurius, Carrie the Worst, Jason, M, and Joseph. Thank you so much, all of you.

You're amazing. Thank you, one. Thank you all. I will lie away because like a weird version of will I am, isn't it? Yes, that's what it is. That's exactly what it is. And we'll give you guys a shout-out

at the end of the show as well. And again, if you would like to be featured in that amazing lineup and get a shout-out, streamlabs.com forward slash vidiots official. Boys, all girls. Are you ready for your first question? Oh, hell yeah. I think so.

Orange Joe at I guess I'm demons with zero on Twitter, worst injury you've ever sustained. MJ, anything else aside from The Brick. The Brick incident. The Brickson. But the brick incident comes in useful in so many storytelling sessions. It's the ultimate go-to injury, but I think... Was it a hard brick sit or a soft brickset?

Very good. I think the other than the brick, nothing's ever going to top the brick. I think the only thing that gets worse than the brick is death, which probably should have happened to me. But it was just before moving to Bristol, it was a nice pleasant boxing day night out. We were all out in town centre, drinking heavily

and having a good old time. When I decided it would be a good idea to do a James Bond rule on hard concrete. Oh, yeah. Yeah, rather than rolling, I just fell straight on my arm. And I think basically tore a muscle in my arm, which meant for about a month,

I couldn't really use that arm, which is really fun when you're moving to the other, of the country and got to unpack all of your shit. Your arm was out of action at work for a long time, I remember. That was the first month of idiots, wasn't it? That you just, you were in pain. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't see it, but behind these eyes, it was just constant pain. It's agony.

Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that. Peter, I can't, I couldn't remember, when I was picking out this question, I couldn't remember if you've spoken on the podcast before about that time you fell off the goalposts. Oh, God. Is that your most serious injury, would you say? Oh. Maybe.

I feel like I might have... I'll quickly do the goalposts just in case... Because I don't know if I've done it before. I feel like I might have done actually, but possibly... It doesn't ring any bells, but we'll see. It could have been in a video, or the video's video rather than the podcast. But I went to Germany.

This was a few years ago. I think it was about 21 or something. I went to Germany for my aunts. I think it was like a 75th birthday. So we were there. And I have a younger... He's not actually a cousin. He's not actually a cousin.

like more, slightly more complicatedly related to me than that. But he's effectively a younger cousin who at the time was about seven or eight years old. And he was really bored because everyone else at this party was over the age of about 16. So he was really bored. It was in this sort of hotel slash golf club fitness air, like fitness complex. And so I just said to everyone at the party like, oh, I'll go for a bit of a walk around with him because he's really bored. So we'll go out to like the tennis courts or whatever. And we're walking on and there was a football pitch there as well. And as we walked over to it,

he'd been saying on this walk like how tall I was, which, as we all know, I'm not, but... In German, please? I can't even remember. I think I worked out at the time, but I wouldn't even know how to say that personally. But so we got up to these goalposts, and he asked if I could reach the goalposts.

And I stood under it, and I couldn't quite reach the cross-posts, bar from a standing position. I jumped and tried to catch it and I couldn't. Oh yeah, no, so I could, I jumped up and I grabbed it, but then I wanted to get my legs up. And I don't have the upper body strength to pull myself up and grab my legs onto the crossbar.

So I realized if I run going parallel, you know, inside the goal mouth, as it were, if I run, jump, grab, the momentum of that run jump will allow my legs to then swing up on the pivot of my hands and I'll be able to loop onto the crossbar. It's like some early Renaissance era, science experiments. It is. Hello?

Peter, do best very gross. Oh, there we go. Let me try that again. Oh, yeah, they do just say close, don't they? Peter, do best very gross. Oh, she got a bit slower that time. I forgot that that... Peter, you best very gross.

That was faster. Yeah. I mean, that means big, but also tall, apparently. That was your cousin. kind of saying that to you, Peter, dubist, hair gross, that's how he said it. So, I ran, I jumped, I grabbed the goalposts, and then I woke up on the floor. And I stood up, everything was pretty much a solid yellow color. I could sort of make out bits of luminosity, but kind of was blind.

and I looked down saw my German cousin standing next to me and I couldn't remember where I was or why I was there all I knew was, wait, that's my cousin who lives in the country hundreds and hundreds of miles away I don't know where I am

he's standing there looking at me like something's happened what on earth? So then we walked, he sort of walked me back to the hotel and when I got to the hotel and saw that the party was on I'd, for some reason

one of my questions was how old my aunt was and they told me that she was 75 and I don't think she looked 75 so for a minute I thought that I'd potentially lost years of my life I was like what on earth are you talking about she's only 60

you know so that was that that was slightly lesser bridge than I wanted but anyway I got my memory back like two hours later but it was really really horrible like it was so much scarier than than you think like you know the idea of amnesia just sounds

of it like oh that would be a bit weird wouldn't it but like a bad trip or something No, no, no. It was like terrifying. It's that fear that it's never going to return. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

I'd hate that. So, um... Cousin, help me. I can only see yellow. Yeah. Oh. That's right. She's slow again.

That's probably how I was talking. Yeah. Probably was. Slowering your words. Head injuries are frightening. Yeah. Oh, fuck you. So what obviously happened was I jumped up, swung up to an almost horizontal orientation,

let go or slipped off, and landed on the back of my head where all your vision is processed, which is why I went blind. Yeah, it was scary stuff. The one other thing I was going to say was when I was two years old, it was really snowy in Yorkshire, and I was wearing this sort of like padded one-piece thing. We were visiting some family. my mum parked across the road from their house and while she was trying to get my sister out of the car

I jumped out of the car, ran across the road into the path of a car that was coming and they slammed the brakes on but they just sort of slid they just carried on it. It was on a downhill as well and they just slid into me. Unfortunately I rolled up onto the bonnet rather than under the wheels and if I'd not been wearing my padded one piece I don't really know what would have happened but I was pretty much fine.

Peter gets hit by a car the prequel Yeah I've been hit by several cars You have a precedent Yeah For being hit by cars At the time when we were doing the video I'm not sure

But I've got one more Actual bit of documentary dialogue here From the event Oh yeah You ready to hear it Mm-hmm So that was

Wait hang on What was that? Let me play it for you again in German Hang on I know that I've put a word in here That it does not know So let me Oh

She's slow And my crumpt And plumps Do you want to hear it in English Something about I've broken some I think she said Or I'm ill

I don't know I heard crankin Yeah pretty much Here we go You ready Cousin Pete This sick trick my dude Thud

Thud Sick trick Crank and Crank and trick. This sick trick, my dude. Thud. That happened. That's real.

Thud. Is that what it translated to plumps? Plumps, yeah. Yeah, it did. I don't know why. Michael's gone with plumps there. I kind of acknowledge plumps in the moment. I was like, oh, that's quite funny.

And just, I don't know, hearing the discussion of the word plumps. Plumps and thud. Plumps. They don't say thud in Germany, even though it's an onomatopoeia. They say plumps. I guess maybe they're a bit fatter over there, so that's the sound they make when they fall.

That famous line from the beginning of of Winnie the Pooh when he's coming down the stairs and it's thud, thud, thud, thud. But it's just plumps, plumps, plumps. Zipoe bear. Talking of Winnie the Pooh, when I visited my German family

another time when I was a lot younger. They had this Winnie the Pooh book where you could press buttons on the side and it would play sound effects and there was one for the the Wurzel or the Wuzzle or something. It's some sort of creature

from the 100 Acre Wood. And when he pressed it it would play this music that just went da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. But then I visited again many years later and the battery was going on it.

Oh no. And I pressed the button and it just went fuh, fuh, fah, fah, And I didn't want to ever touch that book again. It was the scariest thing. I'm just typing the Winnie the Pooh line in. Plumps.

Thud, thud, thud. We've still not had your injury, Ben. We've been on me for ages now. It's not giving me plumps this time. Okay. Maybe because it's context sensitive. Oh, this is way better. Okay.

So here's what I've written in English. Here comes Winnie the Pooh thud thud. Thun thud and thud. Are you ready for it in German? Yeah. Please. Here comes Vinny the pool

Schlag, schlack, schlach, schlach. Shlach, slag. Arguably an improvement on plumps. My injury, I dislocated my right Patella, my kneecap. Oh. Oh, no.

I was doing a football as I am prone to do as a sports boy. Yeah. And especially then, the peak of physical fitness. and um when's then oh god

2008 2008 2009 it's a good year for ben potter yeah thick boy back then and I did we have a history of like not great joints in my family anyway I mean some some dank joints but not great like not you know they don't work very well and my knees always clicked

and they weren't great but I was playing football one day and I felt something go pin in my knee And I was just like, that's weird. So I went in golf for a bit. And I was like, okay, I feel better now. And I ran out, swung at the ball. And then my entire kneecap just went all the way around the side of my leg. And it was dislocated for about 20 minutes.

And then my dad came and helped me to my feet. And as they pulled me up, it went back in again. But I basically had to have a leg brace on with that like locked at. certain angles as because the tendon snapped basically the tendon went and the tendon had to reattach and slowly get used to increased movement so i was wearing a leg brace i can't remember for how long for now it must have been like six seven eight months i was wearing this leg brace and i had to sleep on the floor because i had like this this high sleeper bed that had like a desk underneath it and a ladder that went up to it so i mean i i would say it sucks but i didn't

have to do P.E. For seven months. Amazing. It was worth it. It was all worth it. I'm like sweating and I feel physically ill from that. I think dislocating joints is my biggest fear because I'm sure like it's probably not the worst thing ever, but just the popping back in of it.

Like you've got to fix it at some point. You can't just leave it a dangle. I hate it. I hate it. Fortunately, it's never happened since. I've had like my knee feel a bit like go ping again and feel a bit weird and it's swollen up but usually would just like rest it. It sorts itself out.

But fortunately, far more active than I used to be, done a run a hell of a lot of miles since then, and my knees are stronger as a result, thank God. Otherwise, I'd just be falling apart all over the shot. Wouldn't even be able to do nothing. Nothing. Just dislocating. That'd be a good weapon.

While just taking my knee off and just swinging it. Well, yeah, just basically loosening it and just using it as like a nunchuck. Yeah. Oh, man. I'd be fucking terrified if someone came out, I mean, with a dislocated leg for a weapon. I will, I'll get back to you next time.

I'll let you know how I get on. Oh, sweet. With my nunchuck leg. Let's move on to another question before we get into our first thing. This is from Jamshed at Mighty Jamshed. What's Peeper going to eat? First a Scotch bonnet, then a Twix.

I'm expecting something radical like a peanut. Oh, yeah, did you eat a Twix? I did, a zilt, yeah. When did you, what did you? I think I saw that and it wasn't a convenient moment to view it. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Look at this fucking poser over here.

Is it on the channel? Yes, on the channel. It's on the channel. Oh, sweet. Okay. Not that you would know, it's fine. Yeah. I don't know.

Maybe Ben's kneecap. Well, there you know. Well, let me try out that I want to see how effective the thing is first. Is a kneecap cartilage, your bone? It's a little bit of bone that sits in a lot of cartilage, I think. I'm glad you had like an actual answer for that. That was amazing. Yeah. I mean, I think so. I might be wrong, but I know way more about knees than I should do.

I was going to say, you should know. Out of the three of us, I think you should know about kneecaps. Schlag, slag, slag, slag. Yeah. You know, words to live by. Who's got a thing and who would like to go first? I've got a thing. I've got a quick thing, which will sort of balance out the fact that we've been on these first two questions for a long old time. It's just a news article that I saw reported. It was actually a while ago, but I've been meaning to bring it to the to the podcast really just for the way it's been written you know a little bit like

last time we did the podcast I read that Wikipedia article about your mum jokes and it's when people try to write things formally even though they're really silly and this is

a sensational storyline from metro.com. That's not storyline just story that has been written in very much a journalistic way even though it's just silly thing that happened okay mom shocked sorry I've just reread this deadline

and it's really good okay my I hope I can get through this mom shocked as meat face turns up inside 91 p pack of Aldi sausages meat face meat face mom shocked as meat face turns up in 91 p pack of Aldi sausages is meat face a Scooby-Doo villain. Oh God, it could be. Yeah. Aren't we all meat faces, really? True.

Yeah, every face is a meat face. Well, you're not. You're a vegan face. Oh, yeah, I've got carrot face. You've got broccoli face. Oh, no. So, maybe I should send you the image first. So, let me just send this to you.

We'll try and remember to put this in the link done. But if not, just search for Mum shocked as she finds meat face. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We haven't done a link dump for ages just so people can Google it themselves. What the fuck is that? So now that you've seen the photo, this should be just... So someone has done that deliberately at the factory, basically.

Yeah. It looks like a portrait of the daughter at the front. It does actually, yeah. And now that you know that someone has done that at the factory and just had a bit of a silly joke and, you know, let's all just calm down because someone's being... silly. Let's see what you think of the way they've written up this article.

Okay. A mum says she is worried about quality control after finding a sausage meat faced inside a 91 p-pack of Aldi Bangers. Peter, sorry. Yeah. Before you continue, I feel like we could do more to describe the meat face. Because

for those who were unable to... It upsets me that people might have no earthly idea. Because this is This is a pack of sausages, right? It's just meant to be sausages? Yeah. I'm really confused about how, what is it?

So it's a really flat circular patty about the size of someone's face. And then it's got two smaller circles. Sort of fried egg looking. Yeah. Yeah, with even smaller circles on top. And then what looks the most like a sausage curved into a smile. Yeah.

And I don't know how they've done this with just sausages. And there's no nose. I don't think it's necessarily just sausage. I think it's done with sausage meat. I think they've sort of molded it. It's just so white, it's got no color. I mean, those look like cheap sausages, but honestly, I wouldn't be mad at opening up my package.

I'd cook it up for breakfast. I'd be absolutely thrilled. Yeah. They don't put toys in cereal anymore, but if I can get a fucking sausage face, sorry, meat face. The best thing is, look at the packaging that it's coming. So it looks like more of a ready meal. Well, yeah, but it's like a loose package.

like in a box, it's in almost like a jiffy bag. So how did she not feel that there was one enormous slab of sausage meat in there rather than, you know, lots of different sausages? She looks like a Kerry. I think she said, Kerry, it's my time. It's my time to shine. We're going to get on the local news. Just going through the entire supermarket, like blind bags, trying to feel out the sausage faces. There's a second photo that's almost identical, but just slightly different poses from everyone involved. It's time for Kerry's Meatface. Wow.

That's great. Her name is Fran. Let me tell you all about her. That's disappointing. Oh, is that the Midfaces' name? Yeah, yes. Fran Webster, 28, Meatface, said someone clearly got bored on their shift

and decided to form a different shape out of the sausage meat. Aldi has apologised, saying it's working with its sausage supplier to try and piece together what had happened. Franz said, I'd like to give the person who did it a high five. It's amazing, but it does make you worry about eating sausages that were in the packet. I mean, that packaging.

Yeah, that's the least of your worries. It looks like it might say 26 sausages. Holy shit, yeah. Does that look about right, Peter? Oh, it says actually how many sausages are in here. Oh, does it? She had taken the pack out of the freezer, thinking she would find 20 ordinary sausages inside. To make a casserole.

What quality were you expecting? She wanted to make his casserole. She could have just put the face in it and covered it. In a packet of 20, we got only 12 sausages. And then this massive face came out, she said. I mean, at least there were sausages in there. Is that something? Yeah. Fran could feel an unusual lump in the blue and white pack.

She said, I thought, What the hell is that? When I turned it over, I saw it was a face. Luckily, my mate was there as well. I don't know why that's fortunate. Luckily, because it could have got me. Yeah. The face was around an inch thick and rough, an inch thick.

No, it's not. Look at it. And roughly the same size as a CD. Fran added, No, it's not. It's massive. Fran added, I wrapped it back up in tinfoil and put it back in my freezer. Because it might be evidence.

This gets better and better. I forgot how good this was. It's like a beloved dead pet. Oh, let's put it in the freezer. The kids wanted to eat it. But that was a bit concerned about the fact that workers have been able to do that. That's worrying.

I'm really upset. There's no pictures of it like cooked. Oh, she should have cooked it for sure. The 12 sausages went straight in the bin. Luckily, she had a spare pack for the casserole. Yes, yes, Fran. And Fran said the face discovery has not diminished her love for Aldi. The supermarket said it was investigating how the item came to be sold. An Aldi spokeswoman last night said, we apologize to Ms. Webster and have offered a refund on this product. We are currently speaking to our supplier to understand how this could have happened.

If Aldi do not stock a sausage meat face soon, they will have missed a trick. I would give up veganism for that. Yeah. Absolutely. I love the fact that Fran has 40 sausages in a freezer at all times. God, do you never know when you need a casserole, right? You could have potato smiley faces with a sausage smiley face. You could have just an entire plate full of faces for dinner.

Jesus Christ, that was the best. best thing I've ever heard. Oh my God, the caption to the image that I've sent you is just, that's not a sausage. Amazing. Anyway, that's my thing. Meatface. Thank you, Peter.

You're welcome. Thank you very much. Incredible. We now go to The Edge from you two at the underscore Brit underscore geek. If you pitted all the characters from the Vidiot's extended universe against each other in a battle royale style event full stop. Who would come out

the victor? Would it be Dick Machenko? I mean, he's dangerous, isn't he? I think he's all barking, no bite, really. Possibly, yeah. He did found Sealed Team 6. The game that he made, the game about him was

you could tell that he tried to make it so that he sounded way tougher than he actually is. Check the bodies. That asshole still twitching. That's right. you sweet piece of shit. Are we talking about modern day Dick Machinco

or are we talking about in his prime? That's right, 909, you sweet piece of shit Dick Machinco, who are we talking about? That's a good question. I don't know. Probably everyone in their prime, I think.

Maybe Milo. He's got purge experience. That's true. Milo could, but equally rules boss with bureaucratic incompetence. Yeah.

Could really wind up. Jeff. Jeff. I was thinking Jeff, yeah. He's got hands and he's got feet. He's an invisible agent. He's living in the walls.

I think he's super natural, so like I feel like he has an edge. He's not a physical being. He's better than that. Yeah. No, that's true. That's very true. I think you might be right. I think possibly meatface.

New edition. Meatface. Welcome. Welcome to the universe meatface. We all know that DBP couldn't. DBP couldn't do it because he temporarily lost the use of his legs at one point. He's got gout and hand, foot and mouth and all sorts of other things. So we can't do that. How about the city of Stokon-Trent? Oh yeah. There we go. That's powerful.

It is. How are you going to fight that, huh? Stephen Seagull. Stephen Seagull, also powerful. Fucking Seagulls, actually. I was walking along town centre on Saturday. I just bought like a nice toasted sandwich and I was like really enjoying it. Walking. along. I got about halfway through before Siegel fucking swooped, didn't bite out my hands, knocked out my hands with vigorous force, and

then five other Seagulls swept in and finished off the remains that had fallen to the floor. I was so pissed off. I've never seen that happen in real life. I've seen it a lot on, you know, the YouTube clips and stuff, but... Wow. It was like Saturday. It's the busiest day of the week for that area,

and just people all around me start giggling and laughing. Oh, awful. No. I suppose it's not, I suppose it's not the best reaction with hindsight, but if a seagull knocked food out of my hand, I would be irrationally angry to the point where I would probably try and kick it really hard. Would that be a bad move, do you think? I don't know, probably. Would it be warranted? Well, it depends on the value of the food or how much you're enjoying it. I mean, I can

tell you for a fact the value of that seagull is fucking nothing. Oh, you're right. Do we have a winner. Who would win? I mean, Richard's a good shout. Don't forget that Hallie Berry is Catwoman. No, she is. She's an actual superhero. No, that's true. She's really good at basketball. Yeah. That's true.

Good at basketball. God, I mean, I'm tempted, I'm tempted just to go with Demo Dick. Yeah. Yeah. He's the one with the most experienced, I guess. Yeah, he's ready for a fight. We're not mentioning our Warrest children because they're too special. Yeah. They wouldn't stand a chance. They're too, they're too

Precious. Last minute contender, I've just thought of. The electrical powers of Pammuzeg. Oh, okay, okay. Palmeusek, yeah. Palmeusek. Well, one or the other. Probably Pamusek, actually.

Palmuse egg was pretty pathetic. I don't know. When it got damaged, they let off a powerful stink. That's true. A powerful mosek. Yeah. God, so many characters. It's too far.

So much nonsense. Well, I'll move things on then to the next question. No. to a thing. Oh, how's that? I've got a thing. You want to hear about it? Yeah.

Please. Do you fellas want to raid Area 51 with me? See, I nearly brought this. I'm glad I didn't. Yeah. Tell us about it. I'm going to tell you all about it. You may have seen this.

I'm sure you have. It's exploding in meme culture at the moment, but I just thought I'd give a little bit of context and background and then I've got a few questions for you boys about it as well. Oh, good. So this comes from reputable news source, Sky News. And this is their write-up. Half a million people have signed up to storm a U.S. military base that conspiracy theorists say holds alien technology.

The event is called Storm Area 51. They can't stop all of us. And says, we will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry. If we Naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Let's see them aliens. And then Sky News goes on to clarify what a Naruto run is. Oh, thanks, Guy. Of course.

Is the unique running style of Naruto Uzimaki, the star of the Japanese anime series, Naruto, who sprints with his arms stretched behind him. The event, set for the 20th of September, is likely a joke. Facebook user Jackson Barnes wrote, Hello, US government, this is a joke, and I do not intend to actually go ahead with this plan. I just thought it would be funny and get me some thumbsy uppies on the internet.

Oh, that's awful. I'm not responsible if people decide to actually storm Area 51. If you say you're not responsible, you are not responsible. That's how it works. Do you think he might have added that retroactively, like once he realized it was blowing up? He definitely did, because here's a quick update for you. Over 1.5 million people have now signed up for the event. And there's 1.1 million people who are interested in it.

They're not sure. They're not sure if they're open. They're available to do it. Yeah, I'm not sure if I can make it. In a statement to the Washington Post, a spokeswoman said, Area 51 is an open training range for the US Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American Armed Forces.

And then here's the chilling line. The US Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets. Oh my God. I'm pretty sure it's a shoot-to-kill area, basically. It probably is, right? There's signs that say, like, we will just shoot you. I think they even include the word just. We will just shoot you.

We are just going to shoot It'd be like a genocide of meme lords Oh, it would That's the thing That's what I want to talk to you guys about So obviously this is all a big joke And there have been lots of memes coming from it Including plenty of fake snapchats

Of celebrities Saying that they're going to go You know like Mulder and Scully Saying we're in, see you there And so on But some people Will definitely take this seriously They will

And we'll be there on the 20th of September. And I, for one, cannot wait to see what happens. I want to see 300 people Naruto run at a US airbase. That's what I want to see happen, please. It will happen as well, because there's always people who go extreme enough to do whatever the hell they say are they going to do. And it's going to be the best. There'll be a lot of vloggers there as well. Like, yeah, news crews. Yeah, news crews. Yeah, definitely. It's something is going to happen. I think the guy who's founded this. probably the only safe thing that he can do now is to just take down the event.

Yeah. Like just to cover his ass. And if people decide to go anyway, then at least he washed his hands of it. But if this keeps going at the rate it's going, there are going to be people who will go. Even if they don't Naruto run, there being a few, even just a few thousand people standing at the perimeter to area 51 will be enough for police and probably armed forces to get involved, I would have thought. Possibly, yeah. Wonderful use of government resources.

I love it. It's just mad. The worst thing is, because there's been such a, you know, an announcement so far ahead of time, they'll be moving the aliens to Area 52, you know, long in advance. There'll be nothing there. They're going to be gone. So Peter Merlin, which is a great name, an aerospace historian who has written extensively about Area 51, said the facility is strictly a place for testing and evaluating aircraft and associated weapons systems.

He told NBC News, anyone who shows up in September may find themselves more at risk from the unforgiving desert terrain rather than the bullets of those who guard the facility. Despite the warning, the number of people signed up to the event continues to increase. Good. So they could well just die in the desert. Possibly. Because it's too hot. In the area of deserts, it's been like a real drought of good memes this year.

I'm really glad this has come along because fuck me, there's some really funny stuff coming out of it. Yeah. Yeah, they really are. I thought you were going to say the desert,

the desert memes. We haven't had enough desert memes. We got some. So I have three questions for you. Once again, will you boys Naruto run with me into the breach? Of course.

Will you be there on the day, Peter? I will be there on the day. I think I would rather just sort of saunter. Yeah. You're not going to Naruto run You're just going to gallop Yeah, not even that

Just sort of swagger Just swagger in Swagger in That's fine But I'll be there Okay good As long as you're there That's all that matters

You're gonna Nauru tip to There it is To the there it's There it's There we go Very nice I spent a good 30 seconds

Trying to think How to see of that It was worth it It was worth the weight Thank you Second question What do you think We'll find there

Peter Merlin We're going to find Peter Merlin Yeah Our demise Our demise Yeah Just our death Yeah

I really want that it'd be aliens there But as you said If there's anything weird there It's going to be moved off a lockdown I don't know what did they expect They're going to If they bust through that first barrier That's already a heavily guarded area

But it's still a hell of a distance To the actual complex It's not like the San Andrew space area 51 where it's a gate and then you're straight there. It's a fucking big area. And if we keep running at this lock door, will it open? That's the thing. It's not enough to just run from the bullets. You have to be able to get through gates and fences and high security doors and stuff. You know, whatever's in there, whether it's experimental aircraft or, you know, actual aliens who landed in Roswell,

you're not going to be able to get to anything. It's just not going to be accessible. It doesn't matter how fast you run. It's like a petting zoo of aliens out in the orphan. Yeah. That would be a good deterrent though, wouldn't it? If they just put all their secret shit just on the front garden. Oh, yeah. This is what you want, right?

You can look at it from there, but you're not coming any closer. And that's it. That would put almost everyone off. Yeah. Apart from people who are in it for the memes. Final question. Legitimately, come the 20th of September, how many fatalities do you think will come of this?

Oh, God. I think there'll be, they'll probably, If Area 51 think it's as likely to happen as we do And I think people will turn up Maybe not many Then they'll probably be equipped with like non-lethal stuff Because they'll know that like a bunch of idiots They're going to be coming today

So let's just buy You know, let's get a few water cannon or like You know, whatever rubber bullets So I think there won't be any fatalities I'm going to say This is America we're talking about So that's not the safety of Europe where we use non-lethal force. It's going to, I don't know.

As I like to think, there'll be barricades everywhere. Like, there'll be measures in place to stop people getting past. But if someone gets past, I think it just takes one person to die before everyone to run off. Yeah. Dispers. There might be a desert-related fatality or, you know, someone might have an asthma attack on the way. But I don't think anyone's going to get shot dead, I'm saying. You don't think that'd be good, though.

Let's find out. You think they'll just throw a canister of, like, tear gas in, and then they'll just, just disperse and run away. I suspect so, if anything happens at all. These fucking Naruto running nerds. I think at least there'll be, I don't know about fatalities, but I think at least 10 people will be injured.

Yeah. On the 20th of September. That's my guess. I think that's about right. And we'll absolutely check back in on this. It's the sort of zeitgeist of the internet currently. I realize this podcast doesn't go out for nearly another week at the time of recording,

but I'm sure it will still be a top. of conversation then. Hopefully this has been insightful. Yeah, maybe someone will have died already. Maybe they got the date wrong and they went on the 20th of July. Oh, no.

And they just, Naruto ran to their doom. It's a long time to wait. It really is. I'm excited, though. It's like waiting for the next Avengers. Be there with my popcorn. Let's move on to another question. Yeah. This comes from Darren C.

At the Dark So on Twitter. Answer this next question. in your Brian Butterfield voice. This next question is from Calum Story at Colum Story 1 on Twitter. What are the worst food gimmicks you've seen on restaurant menus? I'm talking sausage rolls and burgers, Christmas dinner nachos, chocolate pizza, etc. Sweet pizzo's featuring candy shoelaces and chocolate spread, Nutella, base. But Peter

Yes Are you saying that sweet pizzer is What you think is egregious I'm sorry aggratous Or Or are you just Doing a butterfield And naming things on pizzer

No I do think sweet pizzer Is a silly thing It's not a pizzer It's just a pastry base Featuring It's practically a birthday pie It is literally just Some sort of pie

Featuring various things sweets that look like they belong on a pizzer. However, it is not a pizzer. It is pizzer only in name and should not be. It's a very naughty boy. In St. Nicholas's market stall area,

there was a... Oh, I can't do Brian Burtfield. Can you teach me the ways? It's okay, you can do it. Keep going. Just sort of on your job. Bobobon's. How are you getting the character? Just sort of

just a touch of misproducts of it. Completely close your nose off. Yeah, completely. In St. Nicholas's Market, the... What? Brozen. Nitrogen ice cream.

The genuine thing I once saw. What? Nitrogen ice cream. Nitrogen cooled ice cream. Perfect for birthdays, bar mitzvahs and more. That sounds dangerous to me. Ice cream is cold enough. Meat faces.

Meat faces. Mystery meat face. I don't know if you guys remember, but a few years ago now, I think it was with the launch of one of those Halo video guns, there was a pizzo that Domino's done what featured burgers in the crusts. Like at the end of every slice, there was a little, there was a little crust burger. burger up in the corner have you seen on the internet.com of the black burgers that were released at Halloween at McDonald's and or Burger King that made people do green poohs. Yeah, I did see the green poohs. I did. It's because I tried one by side. I didn't. I was too scared. Delicious. I went straight home and I googled pictures of it on the internet.

good question there thanks double double you I tried so hard there but it's hard to A keep a straight face and B do that accent Jesus that's a very valiant effort tricky one good stuff Mikey

what you got I want to talk about some famous animals for a bit okay all right I'm ready the first one as I think one of my favourite animals to ever exist in the history of everything he's actually a resident fixture of the podcast we talked about him in episode seven of poddietz

but I think it's time we expanded his story Oh is it the headless chicken? It's Uncle Fatty Oh Uncle Fatty So for those who don't remember Uncle Fatty Is it Uncle Fatty is a wild macaque

From Thailand And he weighs three times the average for his species. Oh, wow. To quote the BBC website, the Orbeast monkey was the head of a complex snack hustle. Those are the three best words you'll ever read on the BBC website complex snack hustle. He leads a pack of minions who help keep him supplied with snacks and soft drinks discarded by tourists. But also, he'd redistribute these items to the younger monkeys.

Kind of like Robin Hood. What a good guy. So due to the monkey's size, the locals dubbed him Uncle. Fatty and pictures of him were spread around social media a few years ago. Unfortunately, this alerted local wildlife officials to his whereabouts. Oh no. Oh no, the internet dumped him in. Yeah, well, they decided to go ahead and fat shame him.

They decided it was time Uncle Fatty went on a diet. No. I'm going to Google, I want to remind myself how fat he is. It's just beautiful. Yeah, I will. Oh, my Christ. He's just a tumour with a head on. That's what he looks like.

God, I still call Uncle Fatty a tumour. Look at him, though, hang on. Hang on, all I'm seeing is meat face currently. I know, yeah. I mean, that is what Uncle Fatty is. It's no different, really. I'm ready. Oh, it's loading.

Oh, my God. Oh, look at that ploppy boy. Absolute unit. What a round lad. He looks like Jabba the hut. He's not got any legs. Oh, that's a fat macaque. It is.

So, wildlife officials set out to find and capture Uncle Fatti. But they said it was not easy to catch him. What? Why? Too fast. This is just a good detail here. Oh, stop posting pictures of Uncle Faddy. Look how red his tummy is. It's all distended.

It's really sore. So it was difficult to catch him because he was the leader of his pack. And when I tried to go in, I had to fight off a flock of them with sticks. Oh. Oh, God. It got violent. But with him captured, Uncle Fatti was shipped off to Fat Camp, where he was fed a healthy and more steady diet of fruit.

fruits, vegetables and lean protein. This makes me so sad. What does he look like now? Have we got a before and after? Do we have a montage? Oh, the Uncle Fatty workout montage. And he'll do a workout tape soon. I'll do some Google and Googling for you now.

See if he's an after. Yeah, I want to know if he walked along the razor's edge. I've got some stats here. I think you mean Fats. Oh, Uncle Fatscamp. Fat camp went well. He lost 8% of his body mass and his tummy no longer dragged along the ground.

Oh. However, news broke the other week, and the headline reads, No. Chunky monkey that became an internet star due to its enormous belly. Michael, please. Is feared dead? No. After disappearing from Animal Fat Camp in Thailand.

Oh, no, they broke him out. Fear dead or missing. So, yeah, there's been no sightings of Uncle Fatty for four months. You know what that means to me? What does that mean? Is that he so trim that he fits right in with the other monkeys? Oh my God, he became one of them.

One of the people. After his disappearance, locals asked police to check CCTV footage from areas he was known to roaming, but there was no sign. Officials fear he is dead. Prior to his disappearance, he had lost his appetite,

sparking fears that he isolated himself to prepare for his death. Oh, no. I thought you were going to say prior to his disappearance, posted something on Twitter or something like that. Vacation time. So please, this is a plea.

If you've seen or heard anything about the whereabouts of Uncle Fatty, please get in touch. This is a vital importance. Is there a helpline? Make sure you tweet us. Make sure you tweet us at Vidiot's official. I'll give out my personal phone number

in the description of the video to call me and tell me anything you know. Any pictures of any fat monkeys, all of them. We're offering a reward of 250,000. boys. Yeah. It's worth every year, boy. You can have

a Brian Butterfield version or regular version. Those are the only two that we offer. Yeah. Yeah, boy. You're a boy. You're just boy. So I thought I'd supplement this incredible creature with a few other

incredible creatures from history. First up, we've got Tibbles the Terminator. Love him. What's he about? There have been many cases where humans have systematically caused extinction of various species, but we never really notice the same thing that occurring in animals. Enter the unique case of Tibbles the Terminator. Oh, I know where this is going.

This cat is the reason for the total extermination of the rare species of a flightless bird, known as the Stevens Island Wren. Oh, Tibbles. And to date, it is the only case where a single living animal has wiped out a whole species. It just arrived on a ship, didn't he, I think, and... And there was this flightless, defenceless bird that had no predators on this island. Tibbles couldn't believe his look. It was like being at Zahaz.

It was like being Uncle Fatty, just food everywhere. Yeah. Oh, Tibbles. Next. The monkey that killed a nation's leader during war. After two victorious Balkan wars against the Ottoman Empire, Greece was prevailing and conquering one territory after another against Turkey. Greece was about to invade and reconquer Constantinope

after 500 years of Ottoman occupation but the Greek leader of the military campaign would lose his life because of an attack from a monkey while walking in his royal gardens. Oh my God. A macauch, again, dangerous animals these. A macauch bit the king and caused him a wound that would later become infected and kill him at age 27.

My God. Only a couple of years after his death and a series of political mistakes by the Greek side, the initially victorious campaign Fast became a national disaster for Greece and a monkey became the nation's most hated living animal. Oh no. That's a way to go.

You're this man who leads war and you get killed by a little monkey. Do you know about the curse of Tutankalmoon? Where allegedly, I think it says somewhere on his tomb like, you know, whoever disturbs this, you know, body will suffer great misfortune or whatever. I don't know if like statistically it's like actually any different to what you would expect but lots of people involved in his in the excavation ended up dying like soon after for various

reasons but two of them are animal related one of them Lord Carnarvan who's like the second in command he was like the guy who was there with Alan Carter I think he was called or Howard Carter I can't remember he got bitten by a mosquito on his cheek in the same place where there's a scar on Tutankhamun's body on his cheek and then he cut it, he cut this bite accidentally with a razor blade

when he was shaving and it got infected and he died also one of the first victims of the so-called curse was his budgie which got eaten by a cobra holy shit that's a hell of a way to go

yeah which is like the royal the king of snakes in Egypt so it was kind of weird like, you know, it's just strange. It's probably just a series of coincidences, but it's a weird thing. No, it's the soul of Tutankhamun, wreaking vengeance. It is that. Yeah. It is that. It is. Next up, you got Mr. Magoo. The mongoose with a life sentence. A mongoose. Yeah, we're on a theme of animals today. It's all all tied together. Yeah. Do we know Jeff's last name? Oh my God. Magoo.

Jeff Magoo. That's quite a good name to be fair. It rolls off the tongue. GM. The fungus is a prohibited animal in the United States. The only exception was Mr. Magoo, who had been given to a zoo by a foreign sailor. Mr. McGoo was given to a zoo. Aw, sounds like a Dr. Zeus book. On the 15th November, 1962, he was taken from the Duluth Zoo and sentenced to death, or deportation back to his motherland, India. This caused a huge uproar.

While thousands visited him in just one weekend, many wrote to the authorities with a warning against the critter's possibility to escape. They were scared that he would fill the nation with more of his kind. Well, not on his own, he won't, will he? Yeah, yeah. The unlucky carnival was the only of his species on the country, so you had no mate making that practically impossible. Thankfully, he was eventually given a reprieve,

and he lived his life eating eggs and drinking tea. Oh, that sounds good. Yeah. He enjoyed free reign in the zoo until he died in 1968. A good life. The best life. I want to live my life eating eggs and drinking tea, but can't just do that, can we? I want free reign of the zoo. You have to believe, Peter.

The last one is a bit of a local northern history. Monkey hangers. What? Monkey hammers. Up north in Hartlepool, the colloquial nickname for people from the town is monkey hangers. Oh, I've heard this. I'll let you go, but yeah, God, this is crazy. Yeah, but yeah, why are Hartlepoolian people? known as monkey hangers. Well, during the Napoleonic Wars, a French ship was wrecked in a storm

off the coast of Hartlepool. The only survivor was a monkey, allegedly dressed in a French army uniform to provide amusement for the crew. Upon finding the monkey on the beach, some locals decided to hold an impromptu trial. Since the monkey was unable to answer their questions, they concluded that the monkey must be a French spy. Being found guilty, the animal was sentenced to death and was hanged on the beach. It's horrible. I remember reading that. It's such a horrible story.

There's a little monkey wearing a little outfit. A little sailor monkey. And he washes up on the beach. And these presumably, I'm guessing they were... See, the way I've heard it, I don't know if, like, they just... They knew it was a monkey, but somehow thought it was also a spy monkey.

Or if they were that ignorant. I don't know if Hartley Pool back then was, you know, just a sort of yokel village on the coast. that like they actually thought that Frenchmen might look like that and this was an actual Frenchman, you know? That's what the Wikipedia article said. It said the Hartlopulians had never seen a monkey nor a Frenchman so they didn't really know what was going on, supposedly.

Oh my God. And this poor monkey just got completely, it will have been really battered around as well, I'm sure. Poor thing. You working for the French, are you? You working for the French? Could have been Uncle Fat as well. Oh, she, yeah, the descendant of Uncle Fat.

Yeah. Oh, God. Maybe Uncle Fat will rule up on a beach at some point. Could do. In Hartley Pool. And I go, we know what we're doing with this guy. Filled a bigger gallows. It needs to take his weight.

The weirdest thing is that there's like the statues of monkeys all around Hartlepool, like kind of commemorating it and remembering it. It's just, Jesus Christ. God. A bit morbid, but... Yeah, I mean, there's no... There's no strict ruling on what actually happened, though, right? Because it's all apparently and allegedly.

Yeah. It might just be a local urban legend. legend kind of like you know Robin Hood and stuff that's just grown into something that the town has adopted but I really want it to be true so it is true okay that monkey was hung hanged that monkey was hung meat is hung great stuff oh gosh yeah that's it let your brain catch up oh well there we go there's my famous animals very good michael really good. Thank you very much. We finish up here with a question from Olly Nichols at Cardiff City Boy, who asks, what are some of your favorite vidiates year one memories, either on screen or off screen? Oh. Peter gets hit by a car. It was just being in that car park, like as you spent 10 minutes

wrapping up Peter in Bubble Rat, just we stood back for a second and had the realization of this is our job. Yeah. It was just like, oh God, what have we done? Also just such a magical moment. There was a time pressure as well. Yeah. You know, it was an active garage. Luckily, nobody came in the entire time we were recording. God, imagine.

Someone did just roll in. There were cameras in there. Like, they could have gone so wrong for me. I was living there at the time. I had, what, like a few months left on my lease at that point? I could have just been kicked out, not got my deposit back. If I'd somehow died in an accident, like if you just slipped onto your accelerator and run over my head, you probably would have been done for manslaughter

they would have said to you in court I know I know like he was a consenting victim but you need to be responsible enough to be like no I'm not going to run you over so you could definitely have been convicted for that I could have done Michael probably would have gone to jail too

for just being involved filming it I'd have got off scot-free just dead yeah you would have been fine you had it easy it's uh that's that's up there for me as well that moment but also um i think post some tat generally just oh god such a great thing that's the kind of thing that i will want to kind of tell

my grandchildren about one day like you know people used to send us adult napis and uh bubble wrap bubble wrap which i then wrapped myself up in and got hit by a car you know like a lot of our content actually stemmed kind of from that show yeah from either ideas we had just before or after filming or, you know, things that people actually sent, you know, like people fuelled the, the Miley thing, kept it going,

you know, Dave Benson Phillips as well, those signed pictures that we got of all of our children's television icons, you know, that was all. Yeah. It was lovely. Yeah, I looked back at the final post

some tap video earlier the week, and Jesus Christ, I forgot just how much post there was. Yeah. It was like the wall was filled. It was a really nice send off Thank you everybody Yeah Definitely

I liked when we got to go places Yeah I really enjoyed I think I don't know that it's I still think my favourite Prove It we did Was the fallout one

Yeah me too I was gonna say that But in terms of like The mad adventure we had Of like just making it up As we went along I really enjoyed Going to Dunster

Oh yeah and minehead just hopping in the car that what hit peter and uh and going and staying in dunster and just like running around the village filming stuff all over this you know ancient village and then doing a single shot of us running to the car and driving all the way to the beach and then running all the way to the sea yeah like just a single shot the whole way um that was a lot of fun yeah i enjoyed that i enjoyed sort of being you know like we've said it before like the masters of our own universe to an extent in that we could just do whatever we wanted yeah anything that came to mind and uh that was you know that's something

that we probably won't be able to do again so it was it was amazing while we had the chance yeah it was such a good year oh god just fucking shit up causing a nuisance in the office with the amount of post being delivered and yeah Paris was good too oh Paris was a mess wasn't it Oh God, I still Like just have anxiety thinking about Paris Break dancing on a floor full of journalists Yeah Sleeping through the first appointment of the day

Yeah Getting signed up for appointments That we actively didn't want to go to And we said we weren't interested in And then we were signed up anyway We show up like, where have you been? Like, well, we're here for our appointments No, you've missed some

Well, hang on, no, we did we asked We specifically said what we wanted to see Yeah It was all kind of crazy Then weirdly, we weren't invited back. Yeah, I wonder why. I've still got the video of you lap dancing, Mikey, on Dave. Oh, no.

Because that's where we first really got to know Dave as well, at Dave on Twitter. Well, yeah, because we met Dave and Leo, who also works a fourth floor. Like, we met him there. And Leo was in the office a couple of weeks ago, and he brought up the memory of, you know, that whole night. And I found the videos again and showed everyone. And it's just heart-wrenching to see me give a man a lap. dance. You're a married man.

I know. It's disgusting. I'm sincerely apologize, but just I got swept up in the moment. How much would people just stand out? Just have inches.

You know, you can just say no. But how much would people have to donate for us to upload that video of ULap dancing on Dave? 100 pounds. 100 pounds. There we go. That's the goal.

It's, I must admit, the video's pretty dark, but like you can there's a lot of shame happening. Dave looks very. uncomfortable and yeah interesting here's a story I haven't told though from that night my phone the mute button hasn't worked for a long time oh yeah so I've had to like put one of those on-screen buttons on like enable a setting so I can mute it or unmute it from my phone from just from my phone screen that is

rather than using the physical button on the side yeah Michael Johnson oh no That night, when you were, I think, you may have been lap dancing at the time, you smacked my phone out of my hand without meaning to. Oh, no. It took me a couple of days, but I realized that that's what broke my mute button. And I never told you, because I didn't want to make you feel bad. But while we're talking about it, because it's water under the bridge now, I'm so used to using this button to mute my phone. It's fine. I've got the same phone.

I'm so sorry. No, it's fine. But that is the scale of what happened that night is Michael broke my phone. Yeah. The scars that are left from my rampage. Fucking hell. They run deep. But if people are interested,

streamlabs.com forward slash vidiates official to donate. If we get £100 before the next show, we will. We will upload that video. And you will get a shout out just as Kieran Smith, Tash Darren Hudson Strider, Callum Marshall, Cameron Skelly, Katie Kins, Samuel de Barber, I Will Lie Awake, James W. Bab, E Spurius, Carrie the worst, Jason M.

And Joseph just did. So if you want to join that illustrious list, on the next show and want to get this uh fuck please do get this scene 100 pounds please do please do consider donating and uh and we will consider maybe uploading it and showing it off to you

guys that's the show it is that's it's the end we did another poddietz the uh the end is near let the music play on play on play on play on play on I believe it's how it goes store theogscots.com if you would like to buy some potty it's old

video it's merch I believe there's discount code as well. You are 100% right. Oh my God. That was horrible. I didn't like that. Use called Vidiates at checkout for 10% of everything on the Yogscast store. That's from every creator, every channel, every person you know and love. But please buy, buy our stuff. Please buy our stuff. We should get a new shirt design out soon.

Oh shit, yeah. Maybe just do... We'll do... Meatface. Meatface, yeah. We'll just get that on a shirt. Or maybe we'll start selling actual meat faces. oh yeah we should it seems no rules apply to the factories so why can't we do it exactly

I think that would be a really good shirt actually like some because I've always thought you know I don't always like wearing out shirts that have like a logo on them where people aren't going to understand what the logo is but if it's just a redrawn picture of the meat face

and then above it it says meat and underneath it says face you know you don't have to be a poddy it's viewer to appreciate the meat face No, you don't. That'd be great. It kind of looks like, it's weird. It's a weird comparison, and like three people will understand it, so I apologize to you guys right now.

But that meat face looks an awful lot like one of the very limited selection of PlayStation Network avatars that were available at the launch of the PS3, except it was like yellow, and it looks so similar. I'll see if I can find it, and I'll send it to you guys. But if you guys would like that as a T-shirt, let us know. Or if you've got any other suggestions? Yeah. Yeah, or literally anything else. I kind of want to do a Jeff the Mungoose one. Oh, yeah.

I might start putting together some ideas for that. That's a good idea. Or I only buy 58 plate perjoss. Buy my son's hamster. Yeah, one of those cringy shirts you see on Facebook where it's like, I'm a dad and yeah, I own a gun, but I love my son. We just need to do that. But for Lorraine... In this house, we drink out of the hose pipe.

We go out until the sun goes down and the street lights come on. But sun spelt S-O-N. We'll see what we can do. We'll try and go. Just basically just let us know what you want. Because, you know, at the end of the day, you're the kind and wonderful people, yeah, who are going to support us magnificently as you. you always have, so please let us know

what you would be most interested in. If you'd like to contact us though to let us know about that kind of stuff, you can find us on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com, forward slash vidiates official. And equally, twitch.tv. forward slash vidiates official as well.

I streamed a couple of weekends ago. Thank you very much to everybody who came along and watched. It was a lot of fun. Played some Fallout 76. The Vod is now live on the YouTube as is, I think Mikey's a draw draw the fans

stream as well that's up there now as well edited oh it's supreme content I'm streaming well depends when this

this goes out next Tuesday next Tuesday so I'm streaming sometime in the next week and yeah exciting

it's exciting stuff I've invested in a webcap so I can stream from my computer and see if that is any better in terms of upload quality because I wasn't pleased

with the quality of the Spiro footage so yeah I'm going to plug in my computer with an Ethernet cable and do some PC gaming instead. Nice and you can use OBS as well so you can actually get like overlays and stuff

which you know and you can have your donations read out by Mrs. Robot Lady Robert Lady. In German in German If you want to find Peter and I on a daily basis you can do YouTube.com forward slash team triple jump we do worst games ever um i'm excited to say that the first episode of rules boss which is the new name for it went out on the friday just gone it did nice so if you want to see what's going on maybe maybe come over and have a look hello we've got

all sorts of stuff here and that's very exciting and if you'd like to see what mikey's up to of course go and check out the yogs cast is it still mainly yogcon stuff at the moment mike And it never ends. There's other stuff going on behind the scenes, but the most exciting thing is always YogCon. It's so fucking soon. Jesus Christ, thank you. When is it again?

I ask every time. August 3rd and 4th. Oh my God, it is soon, isn't it? Yeah, and I'm off Monday, Tuesday. So, like, that's two days gone from like prep time. But, oh, well. Oh, no. Are you going to be sort of documenting it all?

Yeah, I'm working camera on the main stage. So if anyone sees me, do say hi. I'll probably be walking around when I've got some downtime. So if you see me around, please do say hi. Nice. Will you please wear a Vidyat's shirt just to represent us in spirit? Yeah, actually I'll make a custom, like, Vidyit's denim jacket. Yes, denim.

Also, you could be the first one to debut the Meat Disc, the Meatface shirt. I'll set up like a merch store just selling Meatface t-shirts. Yeah. If you could, that would be, I'd appreciate that. Yeah, I definitely think of the three of us, the vegan should be the one showing off the meat. wearing the meat face shirt. Well, we could do two variations. We could do a vegetable one as well.

Oh, veg face. Vege face. Finally, leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice. It really helps us out something to do with Al-Alan Gore Rhythms. Al-Gore.

Former Vice President of the United States, Al-Gore's rhythms. Yeah. And the new mixtape dropping soon. Finally, guys, we need to know if there's some kind of mystery question. T-shirt ideas, I guess. Yeah. Merch ideas. Shoot the matters. Not literally. Not like Area 51.

Yeah, please don't. Save that. Wait until September. Be patient like everyone else, please. 1.1 million people are interested in attending. 1.1 million people are interested in getting shot. Yes, apparently so. Apparently so. Well, that's all. Thank you very much for listening, everybody. Did we know where Kevin was? He just started.

doing the music didn't he yeah he knows he just knows that when it's happening so he'll just do it again soon eventually oh okay i hear it oh that was a quick one which means we've got we've got a little bit of i've got a little bit of outro here to talk over um so just keep talking over until yeah just keep discussing such a nice day a little bit okay it's ramping up it's coming Okay, bye, bye, bye, bye!