Podiots - Podiots: Episode 36 - Psycho Seagull

Episode Date: September 3, 2019

Peter brings some BREAKING NEWS, Mikey's getting into the nitty gritty of kids TV, and Ben makes us fight to the death. Donate to get a shoutout! - https://streamlabs.com/vidiotsofficial New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Learn more at dynamic.ca.c slash active. We're all sitting comfortably. I'm just coughing at my lungs right now, Jesus, I'm very comfortable. You don't sound very comfortable, Mikey. Oh, I don't worry. I'm sinking into a deep state of comfort right now, so give me a minute. You went a little bit West Country.

You've been down there too long. Oh, dear. Oh, no, I don't, I, that's the accent I don't want to adopt. Bye, by Paul. Paul just poked his head through the window. Oh, Paul. Oh, can he be the new Dave? Oh, he could be, yeah, Canadian.

I spoke to Dave earlier. Oh, shit. Secret Dave news. Dave's going to be back in Bristol for the jingle jack. Oh, my God. So we need to try and coincide those dates for sure. Absolutely. Make that happen.

I check in with Dave every so often just to make sure he's still alive because, you know, he's like a lemming. In what way? Like a drink carrying lemming. Well, he would just walk off a cliff if you don't tell him not to. That was actually, that's an urban myth that has been exacerbated by, I think, Walt Disney. Actually, I think Frankenstein was the doctor.

Did you notice how When I said Walt Disney The one bit of that That I was unsure about I suddenly came out of the Of the nasal voice I think you'll find that that's an urban myth That has been passed into popular culture

By I think Walt Disney Can't act through that No Lie to the people in that voice Absolutely not The Bank of Wikipedia nerds behind you All frantically tapping away Yeah you can only use that voice

If you know for sure You've got to know what you're talking about. Before we get started, speaking about being comfortable, can we just go round and just say what kind of chair we're sitting on? Because I'm on an office chair. I'm assuming you guys are the same. Yeah.

I'm not. Whoa. Oh. Interesting. Wow. It's upholstered. It's sort of, it's got a big stain on it from the last person who lived here. I don't know what, I'm hoping it's just a cup of tea.

but it might be a big old bum piss I'd never trust to hand me down office, well any kind of chair like that especially if there's a visible stain on it I didn't when I moved in and then I thought I'm not buying another fucking chair I'll sit on the poo chair if I have to

so here I am What about you Mikey? What's yours like? I'm just sat on the bog standard Yogscast office chair It's quite nice, it's got articulation As I'm a big fidgeter so I like being able to pivot and bounce around. That's why four-legged chairs don't do it for me when I'm computing around the

internet. No, I do wish I had an office share, but yeah, I'm just too cheap, I suppose. Cheap boy. What are you sitting on, Ben? My office chair's very cheap. Well, it's a very old one. I've had it for about 10 years now. It came to university with me, and it's just this very cheap faux leather seat. It's one of those ones that reclines when you don't want it to, and it makes you scared and it's got the little handle on the side where you push it in and it's not meant it's meant to lock it in place so it doesn't recline and then you sort of lean back on it and it goes clunk and you and you defecate all over the chair oh was it you and then when you move out you'd leave it to peter osten oh god wow mystery solved peter i hope you gefled my poo-stool you bese

Peter, I hope something I couldn't hear because... Did it just literally say poo stool? Sorry, can I have that one more time? Yeah, one more time, sorry, I think we all know what the best bit of that sentence is, let's have that again. Peter, I hope

you feel my poohstool. You best very gross. I don't know. It's just, Peter, I hope something. You were very tall. Hope, hope, was that? Yeah, there's two hopes. No wonder that's wrong sometimes.

She gets it wrong sometimes. Yeah. I love how... I love how soft the poo is on that. It's a poo. Mine poo store. Mine poo store. So Peter's got my poo stool.

Because this one won't recline properly. Oh. Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Thank you. Thank you, Jim. It's time for a bit of Kev. He's at mine. Yeah.

Oh shit. We know where he is this time. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. He's been here a while actually. Oh. I don't know.

Sorry to keep him. I think it's a bit like, you know when a homing pigeon just rests overnight sometimes. They do that. If they're doing a really long journey, you sometimes see homing pigeons just on street corners just huddled in in doorways. Have you seen that? No, I haven't. That sounds adorable. I've seen that twice.

Oh, my God. Yeah. How do you know their homing pigeons? Because they have rings on them. Is that it? They're married. Yeah. Yeah, they're going home to their spouse. Anyway, Kevin's just been huddled in my flat for a while.

I don't know if he's sheltering from something or I don't know what's going on. Is he doing that pigeon thing where he's got no neck and he's just sort of all ruffled up? Yeah, exactly. He's just sort of shrunk down. His beak is down in his chest and he's all just sort of, yeah, he's... Oh, wait, his beak's coming up. Oh, Jesus Christ. He's got a beak now.

His beak is opening. hear something oh hello everybody and welcome to potty it's the official videos podcast came out from different angles that's really good yeah they were fairly gentle they sounded like distant bombs or something yeah well that's that's how i would describe them that's the first place my brain went it's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three Us, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben.

I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. We did it. Yes. And we didn't talk about it. Yep, we definitely didn't talk about it. No. Which is great.

Well, I tell you what we'll talk about, Peter Austin. In your little tiny calendar, you got a big old red X marked down for the 21st of September, haven't you? As have I in my regular-sized calendar. you know it. That day it rings bells. That's weird. Some kind of, some kind of fart boys coming home.

You've got a new fart boy? You know that song, Fart Boys Coming Home. They sung it a lot last year during the World Cup for some reason. Mikey's coming back to Newcastle. Oh my God! For one night only.

Maybe a half day afterwards. Maybe a bit longer than 24 hours. You can literally add a thing. And that's what we'll be doing. A 24-hour live stream of us enjoying cheat day. A muckbang, I believe it's called. So muck-bong, apparently, is the pronunciation. Is it?

I think I'll find that the pronunciation is muck-bong. Oh, she's confident with that one. Crikey. Well, Crikey-Mike is going to be back in Newcastle. We're going to be recording not only two podiots and our, well, Peter and my his boss, Adam Pachiti, has very kindly granted us access to the studios and recording equipment so there will be a camera aspect

too so you can actually watch us record podiates I mean you can watch us do poddits you won't watch us record that would be well we'll have a camera set behind the other camera so we can watch the recording podiates special extra camera like big brother but unnecessary

actually you know just big brother yeah just big brother so we'll do a couple of pottyets I believe we're going to do some stuff for triple jump as well. And I think we're aiming to do some kind of live stream on vidiates, maybe on the Saturday, the 21st of September. So make a note of it now, and we will confirm closer to the time.

Are you only letting you know? Stay in one night, Mikey in Newcastle. I'm here Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday night. I've got a long old stretch. So if anyone wants to come stalk me, you know when I'm there. That's fine. I was going to say, if you're only there for 24 hours, We're just, you're coming up to work for triple jump for free.

We're just milking him for 24 hours. And you're not even seeing your family. It's not work. I enjoy doing it. Oh, stop it. I've got to see Paco. Let's bother about my parents. Oh, of course.

Got to see the pack. Yeah. He doesn't understand. When I leave, he doesn't understand I'm not abandoning him. My mom knows. We WhatsApp, but Paco, I don't have a messaging service for him to make sure he doesn't miss me. And there's seagulls on the loose as well. You've got to watch out if you're a little.

Oh, my God. Oh, God, yeah. A chihuahua boy. We'll buy my little T-Rex costume to make it look more fierce and intimidating to Seagulls. So, so frightening. So that's the rough date for when that's going to be happening. Obviously, the stuff we record will be going out at various points after the fact. But I believe it is that night, the Saturday night, that we are currently aiming for in terms of live stream.

So do pay attention to our social media and we'll let you know specific times. Or if the day changes, a bit closer to the time. It's very exciting. Keep your eyes. I'm going to be together again. Oh, it'd be nice, won't it? Yeah. Be beautiful.

I'll try and be as barpy and farty and barpy. What the hell's a barby? Barby and farty. Oh, my accent. I'm definitely losing the gaudiness, so I think a visit up north will top it up again. We'll just baptize you in the Tyne. Oh, and brown ale afterwards. Yeah, brunail.

It'll be fine. Bruneale. You'll be absolutely fine. Before we get started, streamlabs.com forward slash Idiot's official if you'd like to donate to the show and get a shout out. Any amount helps immensely and is gratefully, gratefully appreciated. It helped Michael get a pigeon on his arm. Thank you, everybody. It's life-changing. It really is. It's an amazing tattoo. You should go see his Instagram, which is at Pariboy. Yeah. Are you sure it's not just the tattoo of Kevin?

Oh, no. When we get fan art of Kevin, I'll get that tattooed on me. I'm not doing that. I refuse to have his weird mangled body on me. Just being in his presence is hard enough. And I can only say that because I know he can't hear me right now. Peter can't say it because he'll kill him. Just kill him. The following people have been generous enough to donate.

I believe we christened them the Pod Squad last time. This week's Pod Squad, Grant Wardenberg, Bobby Shagaloonie Hey Fantastic Lord Brottovich Drew from Minnesota Jonesy and the

Maconis or the Machonis I'm not sure there's 1C I don't know how to pronounce it I'm assuming that's what it is So thank you very much to you Fantastic wonderful people We will shout you out again at the end of the show

Once again that is streamlabs.com forward slash vidiots official If you would like a shout out and to support the show It means a lot Plethora That means a lot. Oh, there we go. Dictionary of the Day.

Thank you, Ben. Thank you, everybody for donating. You're all heroes. Heroes. Mikey Johnson. Yeah, would you like a Twitter question, boys? Your question boy this week? I am indeed, so I've wrangled together

the finest questions I could find. Question wrangler. That'd be a good job title. That's like, maybe like on QI. They've got a question wrangler. Yeah. This one comes from Mark M. at Coos

34788 Coos I saw saving private Ryan at the cinema and sat next to me was a guy in a full cowboy outfit laughing at every horrific death Have you guys ever had

any strange cinema-going experiences? Jesus I mean not as weird as that I love the mental picture of that just like there's full-on Texan next you does yehorn away all the horror unfolding on screen I mean there's a lot of

that would be a lot of laughter in the first sort of 20 minutes I'd be out of breath yeah it's hilarious that opening scene glowing five star review never stopped laughing amazing

um oh weird cinema going experiences I don't if we've had any weird ones I've had one I might have you I think I might have told this story so I'll make it quick but I was sitting in the cinema once and some ruffians some urchins

sitting a couple of hours behind me were throwing little bits of popcorn just around the room at people and about two rows in front of me was a big scary man dad and his like little girl who was about nine and they they were throwing a little bit of popcorn at him and he was just ignoring it at first and then eventually they threw a piece at him and he turned around and I thought he would think it was me so I was really scared and he went pack it in whoever it is Well, that would shat you, well, rattled you to your core. Well, I've certainly just piqued my waveform, I just noticed, so sorry about that.

But anyway, they stopped, needless to say. Oh, spooky. That's enough to stop anyone. That's about my only cinema-related anecdote. I don't think I've had any weird, weird fellow viewers. I think all of mine are just, people being utter dickheads in the cinema. I don't understand. Yeah, same.

It's just like. Like, why would you pay it like upwards of 10 pounds to sit in a room and just distract everyone around you and be an asshole? I don't get it. Yeah. Youths. It's always youths. Why are they getting the money from? I didn't have money to go to the cinema when I was that age.

It's ridiculous. We have done this before because I'm sure Ben told us his, I think he's got more than one story about annoying people. One time you, you were actually the one to tell them to pack it in, weren't you, Ben? Yeah, Mikey was there. Oh, yeah. I went to go see Logan Lucky, and as a result, I hate the film Logan Lucky. I felt, I was scared when you got up there, because I knew you were like, you were talking about getting up. I was like, oh, these guys better stop, and then you just, you did it, you did it for everyone.

I was really mad. It ruined the whole film for me. Yeah. Because afterwards I was thinking, oh, I want to go punch a child now. What is this? I've never felt this before. Why don't we want to hurt a child? It was just a group of teenage girls who were just... sprinting around at the back of the cinema making a load of noise. It was really weird. It was super annoying.

I went to go see Avengers as well, I think Infinity War and as it looked like a character was nearing their end, someone, just a little boy next to me. He wasn't a little boy. He was like 13. Just went, oh,

and I'll say blank to avoid spoilers, even though it's been a couple of years. Oh, the blank man's died. And I just had to turn to him. and just said, mate, can you shut up? And he sort of looked at me and then just looked back at the film

and then was completely silent for the rest of it. But it was like super awkward. I hate having to do that because then I feel awkward afterwards. The nasty man telling kids to shut up in the cinema. I am, but someone needs to fucking tell them

to pack it in. I actually have come across someone a bit like the laughing cowboy man who likes Saving Private Ryan Death. But it wasn't cinema. It was theatre. Oh, interesting. So me and my family

you went to see these plays in Manchester where they do I think six short like 10 to 15 minute plays all in one sitting That's an awful lot of theatre Well it is but they're all short like I say They're like 10 minutes long

And you never Still too much Yeah you never know what you're going to get Is that that was kind of part of the problem Is that you can watch a comedy So there was like a funny one about These two people getting ready for a date And they were like they've met through online dating

And they were lying about I'm a supermodel or whatever just coming up with all this rubbish so that was a comedy and then after that there was this one where these people from Yorkshire, Manchester area had gone on a coach

trip to the seaside these like middle age people and this man was talking to this woman who was like not really getting involved with the rest of the group and she said like oh I used to come with my daughter here oh yeah and it was set

like a couple of decades after the Moore's murders, you know, where like five children were killed. And the man's talking to this woman and he goes, oh yeah, he used to come here, did you? She goes, yeah, we used to go out on that beach with my children. Oh, they don't understand her, my daughter. No one understands her. And they blame me for what she did.

Oh, my My Myra. And then everyone, well, not everyone, a handful of people just laughed. Oh, my God. Context for those of you who don't know, Myra Hindley, as I say, murdered five children with a man and buried them on the Moors in the north of England. And it was meant to be this big twist, this revealed, that it was Myra Hindley's mom, remembering when she used to come here

with her murder daughter, murder a daughter. And there was this sort of ripple of laughter. Wow, that's amazing. My My Myira. That's so far. Remember when those children die? Great. Oh, classic.

Yeah. Meaguer, my man, I mochter the moor-mort-spiel. So good. Leap de is, when my daughter the morda began had. You're very gross. Yes. There was something.

Mochter was in there, which is like wanting to do something. And then tocht her as well as daughter. It'll be something about, you know, I don't know. I came to the beach with my daughter. You're very tall. Holy crap, my man. I love the more murder play. So good. Love J.T. when my daughter did the murders. You were very tall. Damn it. We're so close to that time.

It's almost perfect. There's always a rogue character. Because there's no autocorrect on this Google Translate. Please try and proofread these because I'm struggling through, feeling like, oh, I should know that, but I don't. It's just Ben mistyping. Oh. In the cinema, I once had a couple, like, for about 40 minutes, fall asleep during a film. But not just fall asleep, but it starts snoring loudly. So, watching midsummer, which is a bit of a horrory spookums film.

Oh, yeah, that's recent. Yeah, and I just look over, and they're just there like, and like, to be fair, it's the least disruptive cinema disruption I've ever had. I'm used to people writing out full emails, ringtones going off, but still, just the cheek of it to fall asleep in this cinema outrageous and then they walk up 40 minutes later

and asked I don't get it what's happened yeah of course they did who would like to do a thing well I've got a thing I've done a show and tell I brought something with me can you hear this

yeah is that the sound of a dying media bit of folia folia artistry yes It is the sound of a dying media. I've got here a copy of August the 24th, 2019, The Daily Star. Boo! Yeah, that's all boo first. Let's get that out of the way.

I don't normally buy the star, but it was at the recommendation of about a dozen people on Twitter. You can stop now, everybody. Do you know what Dave Benson Phillips is wrestling this weekend? No. So people were trying to draw our attention. to the front cover of The Daily Star I've brought it because it's very relevant to idiots. Are you ready?

Yeah, for you. Michelle Telly Sex Surprise, page seven. Woo! Tell me about Michelle! Yes! Yes! Oh, she did a sex on the telly! No, she didn't. Was Cheggers there? Probably. Saying it was the low light of his career. No, I jest. That is the

bit where they try and sell you on the sex, but the main headline, they're at it again psycho seagull mugs TV legend then dumps on his car when he fights back no

and there is a photo of said TV legend it is none other than Dave Benson Phillips oh my god the portal goblin yeah the portal goblin beloved portal goblin

so Jerry we tried to leave you out of it Dave but you just keep getting involved Oh, you can't say note of opportunities like this. Just stop, Dave. Just stop. Interestingly, it's the front page headline, but the actual story is on page 11.

There's no, there's nothing about the story, really, other than that on the front page. And a photo of Dave with a tiny, tiny saxophone in his hand. Is that the, is that like the headshot that he sent them, do you think? Yeah. Or they've got one on file, I suppose. I'm just going to, yeah, that was the last known. photo. Let me just Google Dave Benson Phillips. I want to find out how far down the image

results is the tiny saxophone. Oh, I can see him holding a bit of a saxophone. Okay, is he wearing a blue shirt? Yes. Imagine if he was wearing a different shirt. There are multiple photos of him holding a tiny saxophone. That is a tiny sax. That one is image three, but it does pertain to this story. So I don't know. Well, there you go. I don't know what they would have found when they did a google uh children's telly star dave benson phillips has revealed a thieving psycho seagull threw up and showered his car with poo in a deliberate act of revenge wow is what it says i'll now turn to page 11 so this is this is a personal vendetta with the seagull and dave it sounds that way i've read the full story and uh yeah there is there is a apparently a event an act of revenge

here. What did Dave do? Yeah, what did Dave do? Cheat on his wife? Can we all please agree that we're going to avoid the obvious getting your own back jokes? Yeah. Because I'm sure there are plenty in the article. I don't know if they're only in the article, but there are certainly a lot on Twitter.

But, uh, gull attacked, then crapped on my car is the, the headline inside the paper. They've put an asterisk in the word crapped because it's a real bad word. Oh yeah This is all just headlines Now underneath that it says Kids Star loses fight with Beast Beast It kidnaps dogs to be fair

Yeah but to be fair Our Seagulls are close to Beast ranking now True Right now we get to the actual pros There's not much of it to be honest Children's TV star Dave Benson Phillips Has told how a psycho seagull threw up and pooped on his car in revenge

after he tried to scare it off during a live show. The CBBC presenter, it doesn't say ex-C-BBC presenter. Does he still do? What does he? I mean, I know he begs for stuff online, but is he on TV at all anymore?

I don't think so. I don't know, right? There's got to be something that he's up to. I think Jerry Lawton is just misinformed. I don't think he's a current presenter. He's got an hourly slot on like Freeview Channel 6, 7, 2. You'll find out what he's doing right now. Oh.

In this, the CBBC presenter, first clashed with the bird when it tried to steal when it tried to steal his sandwich before an outdoor gig. Oh my God. He probably did a show for that sandwich. Not just taken away from him.

Yeah. Dave managed to frighten the gull away. But it returned to swoop menacingly over the crowd during his show at a man-made town centre kids beach. We have one of those in Newcastle. Oh, we do.

So apparently he knows it's the same seagull. I don't know how he knows this, but it's sweeping menacingly. As he was packing his gear away at the end, the seagull flew in and projectile vomited over his motor at the sandpit in Worthing, West Sussex. The vile beast then did a poo on the car's roof. Dave, 54, who hosted Children's Game Show Get Your Own Back, tweeted, when performing my music set at the Worthing Sandpit

a pesky seagull tried to steal my sandwich My car's been hit! Oh no! My Volvo has been hit! I scared it away but it remained at sandpit annoying everyone. When packing my stuff away the same seagull vomited and shat on my car he put. Fucking hell. Are seagulls capable of revenge? Question mark.

How does he know it was that... Okay, a lot of questions. Yeah, yeah. A lot of questions, a lot of concerns raised here. How does he know it's the same seagull to begin with? Maybe have like a distinct marking. Like an anchor tattoo on its chest or something. It's a good question.

I don't know. I had a dog's foot. Every time it just had dogs feet. Yeah. So one fan replied, they are the only creatures who have truly mastered it. Revenge. Right, right.

Dave was unavailable for comment last night, can you believe? He had something on. God, the Seagard took him out. Yeah. But a pal, a pal, not even his agent or a spokesman. Big love to Dave Benson Phillips. But a pal said the attack had left him livid, adding, The Gull made a right mess.

Oh poor Dave He never gets a break He finally gets a bit of stage time He's got his sandwiches already to go And then a seagull just comes And literally shits all over it And vomits on his car At the bottom of this article

There's a related story It's just a one sort of a one line thing Bird Defence class Children in British Holiday Resorts Are Getting Lessons In How to Avoid Being Mugged by Psycho Seagulls People's are told about the dangers

Of Eating in Front of the Gulls and warn never to feed them. Officials in Scarborough and Whitby, North Yorkshire, say they want to help kids understand why birds may attack. It's almost like a serious emergency now that are having to train children and self-defense mechanisms against seagulls. Yeah.

Well, what else are children doing, really? They should be the first line of defence. He's given us so much entertainment over the years. He's moulded so many young minds. They should be the first to die for him. They should. Yeah, where would you be without Dave Benson Phillips? Well, I suppose, strictly speaking,

they, he didn't provide entertainment for current children. So actually we're the ones who should be dying for him. Because he entertained us when we were children. Who's willing to sacrifice themselves in the name of Dave? I've already, I mean, together we've already paid like the equivalent of a meal for Dave. So I feel like we've done our bit. Yeah. Yeah.

We didn't leave him out of it in the end. But, I mean, he keeps doing shit like this. So, who's fault is it really? What are we meant to do? I'm just slowly sort of scrolling through Google images. Oh, God, that last one's horrible. Copping and pasting photos of Dave Benton Phillips into our chat. Ben has been posting every Google image result of Dave Benton Phillips while we've been reading that story.

And it's been amusingly distracting. I've tried not to giggle. There's all sorts of weird shit here. Which one's your favorite? There's the one with the fidget spinner, that's really weird That's a good one There's a very squashed one I think that's my favourite

My favourite is the Don't Fuck with Dave Benson Phillips tank top That's apparently available for sale Yes But the last one just has him lifting his shirt and showing the Dave belly Phillips Oh nothing to everyone

Dave's belly phillips Dave's belly comma Phillips it's now canon that Dave Benson's stomach is called Phillips I just I just tried to reverse image search the last image of Dave pulling his top up and Google suggested search was Senior Citizen Oh no Dave Dave's only in his mid-50s Oh God, poor man bless him

What else can the Seagull take from him His dignity's gone his sandwich was all he had left. Is he wearing a thong? Sorry. No, I think that's just a fold, I think. In which? No, there's like a fabric that goes up of over his hip.

No, that's a fold. That's a fold. Are you sure? Yeah, he's not wearing a thong. Oh, it is stop. You need to put it. Should I just tweet that right now so people can just go and find it later off? You can do, yeah.

That's just, but I think it's a fold. It's because Phillips is, a large, is a large belly. Right, that's what it's called. Otherwise, it'd be a flathead, wouldn't it? Yeah. I really want to know what that... I'm just going to tweet that real quick.

That tiny squashed image says, but there's no larger version of it. There are no large pictures of Dave Benson and Billet. They're all about 300 pictures. They're all just tiny. They're like 240 by 180. They're all tiny pictures. Dave, we tried to leave you out of it.

We really, we did, but then you made headline news. You've just got to stop doing this. shit, Dave. Stop getting hand, foot and mouth. Stop. Stop contracting hilarious diseases, Dave.

He's getting fomited on, getting pooed on, getting sandwiches stall and it's really, oh, poor man. We promise we'll try and leave you out of it in future, but God. Just stop. You must have known

that this was a bad one for your PR, right? Please hold larger instruments in photos that are proportional to your body. Stop wearing thongs Okay, I've tweeted that photo now If you saw this

Last week and thought What the fuck is that There's your context Are you with no context It's just the photo Let's see We've got to reply Nobody needed or wanted this

Oh Jesus Someone submitted a podiot's question and I was like, what things do you wish you could unsee? And I guess without even asking the question, I've got an answer. Oh, it's so low res. It's been stretched up. It's really horrible. You click the magnifying glass and it's smaller when you get a full screen of it. I'm just going to keep an eye on that.

We'll revisit that at the end of the show and see what the reaction's been to it. Yeah, we'll see how Dave's Phillips is doing. Peter, that was fantastic. And thank you to everybody as well who let us know. Yeah, you can stop telling us now. Yes, we know that happened. We know that Billy Ray Cyrus has a lot to think about, and yes, we have left what culture?

Yes, we have. Oh, hang on, hang on. Important. Oh, no, what is it now? There's another photo of him with a small instrument. I wouldn't inflate him one. It's a little guitar. A little ukulele or something.

Oh, it's an actual ukulele. Wow. A little ukule. Oh, it's also very small. It is a really tiny image again. Tubist. They're small. Yeah.

Dubist Air Klein. Dubist. Oh, there we go. Fucking hell. Dubist. That. Fantastic. See, I just, it's so hard not to go down Dave halls because there's always some gold at the bottom of that, that, that, that.

If Dave stopped posting photos of his holes, then it would be fine, wouldn't it? Thank you very much, Peter. Thank you. Thank you, Dave. Oh, yes. It's not even number one, Dave. It's not even our favorite Dave. Yeah.

Would you all like another question? I think so, yeah. This problem's from Beyond Q at Beyond Q on Twitter. You all have the opportunity to create your own signature pot noodle. So we're going to need a flavour, any extra bits, and also the name of it. Okay. So let me just quickly Google pot noodles. Let's see what they're working with.

Are they pun-based? Sadly, it's not like drag names. Actually, maybe they are pun-based. I don't know if... I think they probably do an occasional promotional one, but I don't think... It's just like chicken and mushroom, beef and tomato. Bombay Bad Boy.

Right? Oh, there's a sausage cassero flavor. Oh, God, no, thank you. I think there's like a hot and spicy one. That was interesting. That was in that episode of Inside Number 9. There's like a black label one that's like... Oh, I'm looking at it.

It's Bombay Bad Boy. Oh, okay. That's the guy. The naughty pot noodle. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. Mine would be called sex time.

It would be... It would be lime green. Because there's already a few green ones. Just to confuse everyone. Yeah. And it would have... It would be... The flavor would be some sort of earthy mushroom.

Okay. Not a regular mushroom. Just some sort of, like, really... earthy mushroom. So I want it to taste like mud, if possible. Like a sort of death-stranding piss mushroom, maybe. Precisely, Peter, precisely. Yeah. Some kind of piss mushroom.

Precisely. In fact, that is it. It's piss mushroom flavor, but it's just called, what did I call it, sex time? Sex time. Sex time. The lime green sex time is going to taste like piss mushroom. And the extra sprinkles on top is going to be grass. Oh, that's nice.

Because if you're going to eat like a cow, you might as well go all in, right? Yeah, fuck it. There's a market for that. I'm sure someone would buy it. Yeah. Mine would be green as well. Oh, of course. And in the green pot noodle, I would put some cannabis.

Whoa. Also some sort of ceramic chippings. And it would just be called a pot, pot, pot, pot, pot noodle. Excellent. Jesus Christ. I may have just said that four times, but I meant to say it three times. Pot pot pot pot. Pot pot, pot noodle.

Well, maybe just. Just the weed is extra potent, so it's hyphenated. Port and, yeah, pot. Potent. Yeah, pot noot. Oh, that works. Oh, there you go, yeah. Pot, pot, pot, pot noodle. Can you keep saying that, please? Pop, pop, pop, pot noodle. Oh, beautiful. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. When it gets legalized, you can make that a real thing,

and you'll make millions from your pot, pot, pot, pot noodle. People will be able to have it medicinal. And if you buy enough of them, you could slowly put together your own pot, out of all the ceramics. He could. And you could use the actual pot noodle pots to make a bong for your pot. Yes, you could.

Yes, you could. It's so multi-functional. Who could have thought? Or maybe you could use the original pots as some kind of urn. For when all your friends who are trying to build their own pots, their bloodline is too weak

and they choke and die. And you want to commemorate them in their favorite hobby, which was consuming, of course, the pot, pot, pot, pot, pot noodle. Yeah. and then they can just be scattered at some sort of pot noodle factory. Oh, no.

That's what they wanted. They could be scattered into Michael's pot noodle flavor. Oh. Dead body ashes flavor. How did you know, Peter? Oh, my gosh. What color is it, Michael? Come on.

Brown. Oh, so close. What was this? Was it something I missed there? Green. Green. I got it. Yes.

Oh, Jesus. I want to try and do a dessert-based pot noodle. Oh, I was thinking that. That was going to be my other suggestion. Good. I'm just going to go for like straight up pot noodle noodles. Like no change to that recipe. But in a little pouch you get some chocolate syrup

that you get to douse over it and some sprinkles. So are the noodles just still like flavored with chicken stock or something? I don't know. I guess the noodles are flavored. Yeah. But like, do they still like? Do they still, like, are they made of egg? What are they made of?

I don't know. I'll tell you what you should do. Oh, here's an idea. What about a special limiter's edition for seagulls called Not Poodles? No, but they wouldn't eat it if it was not poodles. Well, there's a big winking seagull face on the... Oh, I see. It's not poodles.

It's not a poodle. But it is jo-a-o-a- It is actual dog, though, so go at it, seagulls. Rest and peace, gizmo. Also green. Yeah, they're all green I want to try I'm going to buy some pot noodles now And just dunk some chocolate sauce on them

And see what happens Can you please record it please I might yeah Fuck it That's oh god I'm not excited for this But yeah That'll be the next There's a flavour packet right

You don't have to put the flavour sash Michael eats chock noodles Chalk yeah Yeah I guess that's That's the next YouTube up The next shit post on the channel Yeah I bought a bigger Twix by the way I'm going to eat that or something

I'm going to eat that or something I keep getting to upload my VOD sitting on my desktop and I'm just not done it I'll do it after we've recorded It's going to be a slew of content coming up So much

This is why you're subscribed guys Streamlabs is not ending It's just changing Fast forward one year Michael uploads a video of a fucking chocolate syrup pot noodle What happened? This is it

This is it Oh dear Should we have a quick check-in with the reaction to the Dave photo? Please, let's. Oh, no. We can never unsee this now. Oh, dear. Hi, I got my account back.

Just in case I get hacked again. Here's the only nude I've ever taken. Can't threaten me with it now. Get a life. Is that from Dave Benson Phillips? At Hueo Long Heavy, Gigabyte. Yeah, it's his special secret account. How long before Dave has some kind of either sex scandal

or his nudes get leaked? I mean, the nudes are definitely out there. Oh, don't, no. I hope there's no sex scandal because he made a joke about that in his mockumentary. That's going to be really dark in the Netflix or Louis Theroux documentary after the fact. Oh, no.

Oh, God, I want a Louis Theroux and Dave Benson Phillips episode now. That'd be amazing. Get to the core of the man. I'm Louis. It's just a very straight man talking to a lunatic for an hour. It's poetry, the best television you ever see. I'd watch it. Got another question, Mikey.

I can hit you up with one. Let me have a look. Okay, here's one here then. This one's from Karen Manson at Manson Boy on Twitter. Superheroes are real, but the only ones granted powers are children's TV presenters from the late 90s to the mid-2000s. Name and give powers to these new defenders of humanity.

Can we veto Dave Benson? He's had enough. We need to leave him out. We were told explicitly leave me out of it. To leave him out of it. Yeah. Fair enough. He gets three mentions per show,

otherwise his head gets bigger. His senses start tingling and he starts tweeting us again. If we give him too much publicity in one of our shows, he has to give us a Nando's card. That's true. That's true. we have to record a message for him. We'll do it just as badly

in an awful, slightly green wall with DVDs stacked on either side. That's the only way. The only way we know. We learn from you, Dave. Oh, the DVDs. It's such a good little detail. Never DVD.

Never DVD. Oh, Christ. Okay. Who have we got? I want to send Neil Buchanan, obviously. Okay. What powers? How would he defend human?

He does he just like whenever there's like some kind of danger in coming to a city, he just erects a giant salt wall. He just fires salt at them. His big art attacks come to life. Yeah. Oh, that'd be amazing. Holy shit, yeah.

Yeah, he just makes stuff and it suddenly comes to life when he says, try it yourself. It just pops into existence and defends the world. A bit controversial, but perhaps one of his powers could be that head is no longer alive. Oh.

What? He just rids the world of head. That's his nemesis, maybe. Oh, yeah. The backstories that they used to work together and be friends, but then Head decided no. I think maybe in the current Art Attack law, maybe Head is actually like, head used to have a body, but after Neil Buchanan, you know, and captured him and took away all his rights and forced him to work for the Art Attack show, that's when he became Head. and I want to know like what happened before that what led to head losing his body

hello where's my body okay pitch for a show it's it's god of war the new one instead of Kratos it's Neil Buchanan yeah oh there we go and he just carries around head on his waist who provides exposition and comments on things

oh I thought he was going to be the boy no well he could be sort of stacked on a segue maybe or some remote control car I don't know I haven't thought about it beyond that I just Bad versions of Neil's art

Just Oh ho here's what I did Oh but don't forget To stick it down And then he lifts the paper up And it all falls off the page Oh hey Oh what you like

How about Rosie and Jim Oh And Fisgog But Fisg is aware That Rosie and Jim are sentient This time That bullshit's done That's his power

That's his power He knows that that's happening Rosie and Jim can interface directly with the rag doll and it transforms into a giant mech like that of Pacific Rim. Holy shit, yes. But it just wades in canals instead of the sea.

And the head is just a giant version of duck's head. Oh my God, yeah. And it just stompes around going, wham! The best thing it does for humanity is just rescuing children's footballs from the water just tosses it back and gently. You don't want to be going in that,

canal water sun, it's stagnant. Oh dear. There was a canal near where I lived when I was growing up in Yorkshire, and there was a little canal museum or like a visitor's centre. And actually, I don't know if I've mentioned this, in there, they had this Rosie and Jim videotape that was just running in a cycle, or just it wasn't even a videotape, it was like one scene that may have been taken from an episode, where they were just singing this song, and they would go, let's stay safe near water, let's take one step back,

And then it would do that weird, horrible thing that they used to sometimes do in, like, Sutty, or I guess occasionally in Rosie and Jim, or they would do it in Tots TV as well, where they would do a shot of the ground, not showing the top, like the waist up of the characters, and they would just have legs awkwardly walking along, like felt ragged old legs. I don't like it. It was horrible, because you can clearly just tell that there's like a puppeteer with his arms shoved down into these legs just out of frame. Shuffling along, oh my God It would show their legs Just taking a step back From the edge of the canal It was just really creepy

Oh, that is a bit spooky Yeah Would you like a canal A canal, hang on, I'll get this right Canalan anecdote from my childhood Yeah Canallinectote Canalan

Ectote Yes, he can Can Alan ectote I think so He can I was at a canal When I was a boy I can't remember where,

but it was one of those ones where the canal water runs very low and there's like a brick edge and it's like sort of 20 feet down to the canal. A lock. I think it was maybe a lock of some kind, yeah, where the water was down at the time. And my mum was really mad

because I was getting really close to it. And we were going to have to go to Burger King. And she said, if you don't get away from that edge, we're not going to go to Burger King. And I went closer to you. Oh my God, Ben. And we didn't go to Burger King

and I was sad and I don't know I don't know why what I expected the outcome to be but I think it was just sort of an early tentative step into the sort of bad boy persona lifestyle that I live and breathe every day

now. Ben, let's stay safe near water let's take one step back not forward you gave up your Burger King rights just to take that one step close. Have you been read your Burger King rights?

You have the right to a whopper and disappointing chips. Yeah, one whopper. And if you wish for us to provide a medium fries, we can do so. One will be, if you cannot provide medium fries for yourself, one will be provided for you. Yeah, absolutely. If KFC has run out of chicken, a Burger King will be provided for you. No! That's a great anecdote for actual free lawyers. Public defenders. They do great work. Thank you for your service. What was the question?

presenters How about Tox TV but each one of them is some sort of Power Ranger Fucking brilliant Yes Matt Baker What powers would he have He can turn into his dog

There he's like an animal He's like an animorph Oh no Now I'm an animorph Okay Good for you Fuck He's a good boy

I think that's enough Superhero Childhood TV presenters We've got too many Connie Hook can instantly teleport to Ethiopia if she needs to. Just look at impoverished children. But that's the only place she can go to at the drop of her. And she can only look at them.

She can't help them. Oh, God. I have no mouth, but I must scream. Just there. Help. I want to help. God. Poor Connie. Is that bad for Connie? I guess after a while that...

I think it's a bad look. Maybe she also just sort of has to float Jesus-like above them all. in some sort of bubble and she can't, they all watch on as a super hero. As Connie arrives and then goes again. Yeah, that's it off she goes. There's not doing anything as usual.

Connie. Oh, come on. There's a time for a thing. Oh, maybe it runs think there. It is. What have you got, Mikey? Oh, well, as you may have heard in recent Twitter news,

I think this went beyond Twitter, but it's where I saw most of it. But the CBBC Twitter account put out a ranking of their iconic childhood shows and it was met with massive uproar as people were disgusted with the rankings that were given. I was, I tweeted my version, angrily. This is all wrong.

But I think the biggest contender for people was there. Chuckle Vision was in mid-tier. Actually, I'll explain the image. It's one of those tier images, starts with legend tier, top tier, mid-tier. And at the bottom is, hmm, tier. because I guess you can't say a shit on a children's Twitter account. Yeah.

And yeah, Chuggled Vision got put on mid-tier, which is an absolute travesty. How could they do that to per Barry and Paul? Yeah. The late Barry and the not late Paul. It's disrespectful to the memory of Barry. Yeah, it really is disgusting. So I thought I'd pick a few of my favourite ones from there, and we'd have a classic CBBC show battle fight thing

in my usual format where we make. eight things fight. Okay, excellent. Okay, so I'm ready. I've whittled it down to a list of eight. I'll read them all out to you first before we enter battle mode. We got chuckle vision. We got Tracy Beaker. We got Raven. We got smart. Get your own back. Blue Peter, horrible histories, and lastly Basil Brush. Oh, okay. Okay. Fight one, ding, ding. Chuckel Vision versus Tracy Beaker.

Oh, God. Oh, I mean, I watched a lot of Tracy Beaker because they just... I absolutely adored it as a kid. They repeated it a lot, but it never really got boring. Yeah. You know, we all like Bouncer and... Duke. Duke, yeah.

Nathan. Oh, all your favorites. Don't forget, don't forget, um... What was, uh, dingle. Diggle. Diggle. Don't forget, diggle. Everyone's favourite character, Diggle. I can't remember any of them.

What about, um, you know, Mike, the care worker who I think was only in the first series and then eventually came back kind of after our time as the head care worker. Me and Amy were onts out for a birthday, a birthday meal at Turtle Bay in Newcastle with a load of our friends. there was a big table of us like 12 people and we noticed that Mike from Tracy Beaker had walked in he'd sat down at a table not only was it Mike but it was all the kids

who played the dumping ground kids at the time on the show so we were sort of watching him and then what happened was someone had brought a cake for us so that was nice and a cake came out because mine and Amy's birthdays are like five days apart so it was a shared party

so we blew out the candles and everyone was singing the song and Mike clocked us he came over to me and Amy came up to us and said would you like a photo with me oh Mike and I have a photo

I do have a photo I'll see if it's on my phone I'll find it for you how could you say no I mean not only because Mike is a legend but how could you say no to that that's difficult imagine if you didn't know him at all

that'd be amazing maybe he noticed that you'd been looking over a lot maybe actually he may have done to be fair. I'd like to think he wasn't just presuming, but we were the right age. I think he knew that we would probably know who he was. I think it's on my Facebook. I'll try and find it.

God, that's amazing. That's beautiful. We might have to... I mean, Chucklevision's great, but... It's just a really tough one to start on. Chucklevision's iconic, but Tracy Beaker's just, it's a lot of fun. I'm going to throw my lot in with Tracy Beaker, I've got to you. Chuckle Vision's so legendary.

It's an institution, but I just, I watch that much more Tracy Beaker. I can't not. I can't not. Oh, wow. We can always make sure that Chuccovision does better later on. Yeah. Well, I mean, I mean, he's eliminated, but... It's going to be knocked out. That's it, yeah. Oh, shit. We'll say that... Oh, so sorry, Barry.

He's just had a bad run, though. Like, he probably would have made it... You know, he could have been versus Tracy Beaker in the final, but... Oh, yeah, but it's just... This is the way it's... There's a shame in... Bowing out to a legend. God. Oh, God. Who's alive now?

Is it Barry? Paul? Paul's alive. What was that noise? Did you guys hear that? Yeah. What was that noise? It sounded like a firework.

Yeah. Was that on my end? Chaos in the streets. It wasn't in my end. I think it was your end. Oh. That's weird. I don't know what that was.

It just sounded like an explosion. I'm sure everything's fine. It's fine, yeah. It's Jeff left. Not Jeff. It's Kevin left, Peter. Yeah, he's not here. Maybe it was him.

It's just broken down. To be fair. To be fair. These tournament things aren't really to find a full. order, it's just to find the winner, you know. Yeah, yeah, that's all it is. It doesn't mean that Chuckelvision is the worst, it's just not. No, we can justify

it all we want. We just spat on Barry Chuckles' great when you know it. Just to... Okay, that was another one. Just to make it clear, I would have voted for Chucklevision there. You're all bastards. Your conscience is clear. I'm very much on the fence, but... Oh my God, there's the picture. Peter, you look so happy.

I do. I'm sort of smirking. Oh, there he is. That's him with Mike. Oh, that's adorable. That cake looks great. Yeah, it was good. Mike had a beret on. Oh, very stylish.

That's very Mike. Yeah. Okay, Tracy Beaker makes it into the next round. Next up, we've got Raven versus Smart. Oh, God, that's another tricky one. Oh, Raven for me all the way. I didn't even like Raven that much, but Smart was always just, oh, it's not Art Attack. Yeah, it was very much discount.

Smart attack. Smart attack, art attack? Yeah, I really like... I did like smart and I liked Mark Spate but Art Attack, yeah, there's no comparison so I'm happy to say Raven because I fucking loved Ravens so much

I really wanted to go on it I could beat the way of the warrior Oh, I would love to try that It looked so easy, didn't it? Yeah, just push on through What's Raven up to these days? Is there still Raven happening? Maybe he's just doing his own private tournaments

in his back garden. He does appearances, he does like, he goes to you know, students unions and things and festivals. There's now a female Raven, I think, who has taken over the main role. And I think they did a sort of handover maybe for like one series. I think Raven was, he wasn't the main presenter, but he would occasionally just, you know, they would come across him. And then I think they maybe left it in the capable hands of the new Lady Raven. Lady Raven.

Well, James McKenzie is currently in a TV show called Molly and Mac. Oh. Oh. It's a Scottish children's television series. Oh, look at that. Apparently, I can't really give you any more information than that. Oh, he's a widow of father. Oh, I'm so sorry, James. Oh, dear. All these tragic tales, we've got Barry's dead.

Yeah. Raven's a widower father. Mark Spate committed suicide. Yeah. I do like that the two we've eliminated so far, both have dead cast members. So that's the running theme so far. Okay, let's see how many more of the dead we can disrespect. Yeah.

next up is get your own back against blue peter oh well there's a lot of dead people that worked on blue peter yeah we're not going to count that get your own back is better than blue peter i always i think you're right hated blue peter i just it was just so boring because it's like a kids magazine show like you never know what you're going to get i thought like occasionally they would do something fun and everyone has their their own blue peter presenters group you know in their head their favorites but um you know you know even at its peak, I think, you know, you never knew it.

I would wait, and then they would, you know, until the intro started, and they would go, coming up today, Connie goes to Ethiopia by teleportation. And then you'd be like, I'm not interested, but it might be like, Simon Thomas swims in one of those weird, scary pools that's like 500 feet deep, and his lungs nearly burst. Yeah. Sounds great. His wife died of leukemia, I think.

Oh, Christ. Oh, no. Peter, I didn't need to know. I'm not laughing at the fact that that happened, but just that we seem to have just to found all of these people. There's tragedy follows us. Yeah. It just does.

I remember tuning into Blue Peter one day and being so over the moon excited that for some, for some reason, WWE wrestler, the hurricane was just hip-tossing. Oh my gosh. Yes. Crash Matt.

Oh, that'd be amazing. So what is this? Jesus. Amazing. Yeah. But that was kind of it for me. I used to like watching. Blue Peter. But get your own back was always a good laugh.

Yeah. Don't mention the host. Nope. We don't mention the haste. The host. The haste host. Yeah. Blue Peter at most, I wanted the badge, but that's about as far as my involvement. I always wanted a badge. Yeah, I never really... I mean... If we did post some tats still, someone would send us Blue Peter badges. And we would wear

pride. We're back for one episode. Please send in all your Blue Peter badges. We're doing a Blue Peter Badger Bill. Send them to the old address and Mikey will bring them to Newcastle and we'll wear every single one that get Get sent. Getting through airport security, that'd be amazing. 50. Why do you have 50 badges in your carry-on luggage?

Just a very active youth. I did a lot for the Blue Peter founder. I can get into every museum. In fact, they give me money when I come near them. You've got a special infinity gauntlet for the various colors. I wonder if Blue Peter badges still get you into museums for free. Well, they must do. Maybe it's like changed over. Yeah.

What's the value of a Blue Peter? Badge. Blue Peter Badge Attractions. Let's have a look. Oh, it's a lot of really... I mean, it's the kind... Honestly, this... The list of places you can use it just reads like a leaflet of places Peter Austin went. With my Blue Peter Badge. Read them to me and I'll say whether I've been. 1066 Battle of Hastings, Abbey and Battlefield. Haven't been, but would go.

Oh, no. 1620's house and garden It's just nondescript Just one of them, yeah, okay Abbey House Museum No Africa live What?

That's where Connie Hook is Anglesi Sea Zoo I like zoos Anne Hathaway's Cottage Wow Arndall Wetland Centre I have been to a wetland centre Of course you have though

Avon Valley Railway Oh no I haven't No. No, you haven't done that. What about Battersea Park Children's Zoo? No, but only because it's Battersea. I would go to a children's zoo. Well, here's one you've definitely been to, because you live there.

The Beck and Scott Model Village. Very good. Yeah, I was born there in the little hospital. The tiny hospital, yeah. So as niche as they are, there is about 200 places you can go with a blue Peter badge, so... I wonder what they... How do they verify? you've got a legit one because they must be pretty easy to fake.

Yeah, I thought that. That's an easy way to get into a museum for free if you're a bad boy. Oh, got me counterfeit Blue Peter badge. Some kids want fake ID's. I've got a fake Blue Peter badge. Yeah. Or you can go to Diggerland. That's not too far away from Newcastle. Oh, Diggerland.

They're so good. They let children drive Diggers. It's amazing. They do. I remember the advert. Drive around in a JCB. So get your own back, plows on the head. Blue Peter, even with your 200 attractions, you're left in the cold.

Yeah, okay. Okay, the last battle of the first round. Horrible Histories versus Basil Brush. Horrible Histories, I've heard, is very good. It's like, it won a comedy award. It was the first children's show to win, like, an adult comedy award, if you like. Yeah. I was hoping you'd watch some of it because it was a bit after my time.

But again, I've heard really good things about it. No, it was after my time too I have seen it It was also after my time But I have younger siblings So I did catch the occasional episode And it was fantastic I wish we had something like that

It was genuinely really funny And educational Had lots of music in it and stuff And I always thought Because Basil Brush was a reboot right Oh yeah It was like the OG Basil Brush Which looked weird as hell

I didn't really rate Basil Brush As a show No you see I like Basil Brush As a character I prefer it when he did like guest appearances on the chase and the weakest link. Yeah. Because I think he's like an interesting enough character

and the puppeteer can clearly improv reasonably well. Yeah. But the show I thought was actually pretty shit and that's what I put in my version of the tiered list. Yeah. I said like I did the tier and then I did a second tweet underneath saying here's some justifications for some things that might, you know, cause contention.

And one of them was that Balser Brush wasn't up there because people liked that. but I don't know why they remember it so fondly. I think for me it was just really easy after school watching. It was the most bullshit unintelligent stuff, but it was just like, I'm going to sit down and watch a puppet fox. Be all weird for half an hour and everything's all right.

And slightly sexist. Oh, of course, of course. Yeah. Well, he's not of our time, though, don't worry. It doesn't mean it. No. He could be Utre necks, Basil Brush. Oh, my God.

I always got big, what's his name? I always got big Sir Bruce Forsyth vibes from Basil Rush. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I get that. Catchphrases, you know, music hall comedy. Old. Looks like he's been kept in a cupboard.

Yeah. I think genuinely they just found him one day in a box. I'm like, oh, we should probably do something with this. Is this Bruce Forsyth or? Whichever one. He's dead. He's still in storage Bruce Forsyth. Yeah.

It's been frozen. Waiting for its time to return. Yeah, exactly. Oh, dear. Are we going to put horrible histories out in front there then? Oh, yeah, definitely. Good. Right, semi-finals.

Tracy Beaker versus Raven. Oh. I'm a Tracy Beaker guy. Yeah, I'm leaning that way too. I never, I don't know, I just never really got much enjoyment out of Raven. There's always like that jealousy of me sat there thinking, I want to do this in real life. Don't watch other kids do this.

I really like Raven, but I would say, no, I'll say Tracy Beaker. I've watched it that much that if it hadn't existed, I don't know what my childhood would have been filled with. It's more Raven, I guess. You'd have been part Scottish by end of that. But they're both great, but Tracy Beaker is my vote. That's fair, that's fair. Okay.

Get your own back versus horrible history. It's got to be get your own back, right? I do agree with that. It's kind of unfair, because none of us have really seen horrible histories, but I'll give a, I'll give a courtesy vote to horrible histories because it's outstanding. It is good. Get your own back. Just maybe not as iconic. Maybe that's what we're going for, iconic.

Right, this is it, the finale. Tracy Beaker versus Get Your Own Back. Oh. I think probably Tracy Beaker. I don't think, I think Get Your Own Back was great. It was iconic. You know, there was a certain host there who, you know, is keeping us,

single-handedly keeping us going on content. Pretty much. But, you know. He's not good enough to come in first place. Yeah. Tracy Beaker was great, you know. Yeah. I wouldn't, who would I have met on my birthday,

if not for Tracy Beaker? Bam, there you go. A guy in a, in a, in a, whatever. in a beret. It would have still come over and say, Would you like a picture with me? Yeah? Yeah, we're saying Tracy Beaker's the king of kings?

Tracy Beaker, Tracy Beaker. I'm just going to quickly get the results up because I pulled a lot of information from a Radio Times article and they had their own voting system for the best and worst shows. Okay. So I'm going to read the top three,

counting down from three. Number three is Dick and Dom into Bungalow. Oh, yeah. I omitted this from my own version of this because I didn't want it to be like an easy winner. It was O-Bee. It was O-Bee. Yeah.

Second place they had, the story of Tracy Beaker. Oh. Okay. Numero uno. Chuckle vision. Which you heartlessly cast to the wayside at the beginning. No, but if it had fallen differently, I think it could have made it to the, at least the semis, if not the final.

It's just the play of the cards. It couldn't be helped. I'm sorry, Chuckles. It just lost to the winner straight away. in the first heat. On their votes, they had a list of 100 shows to choose from. So I thought I'd go down to the opposite end of the spectrum. See what the worst rated ones were.

Oh, yeah. One of them, which, as far as I can tell, has zero votes, as in no one at all voted for these. The second lowest rating is 0.01%. So there's definitely a good few people voting in this. The show with 0% is Cheggers plays pop. Oh, Cheggers. Cheggers plays, what was he playing this time?

Just pop music. Pop music, Cheggers. I googled this. Turns out this is a show that ran for about 10 years in the 70s and 80s. Yeah, it's kind of what he's famous for, I think. Cheggis plays pop. I was going to say, what is Cheggis actually famous for? Well, there we go.

What did he do? Getting naked in the jungle runs out. Yeah. But I feel like not everyone can do that without getting arrested. You've got to have to have done something before. I just got thrust into fame by hosting Cheggers' plays pop just after that he was a household man

Can we can German robot lady please say Ich bin Cheggers please? Yeah, can you give me a minute or just send her a message

Right Do continue Hello, Ich bin Cheggers I think there's a few others down there with the zero percenters but literally

nothing I recognize Ah, yeah Pinky and Perky what the hell's that? There were pigs I don't, that's all I know Yeah

that's Down there as well was Junior Bakeoff and Junior Master Chef and that much love for them But sadly, yeah, your boy Chega's got absolutely nothing at all from that. Poor boy. Prest and Feast Cheggers.

I do like how vast this list is, because I started scrolling not knowing how many entries there was and just 50 takes a while to scroll down. It's really all-inclusive. Have you got a link to the list? I would read that. Yeah, I'll chuck it over to you. Thank you. If you just, for people at home who also want to see, go on the Radio Times website

and just search, what is the actual greatest BBC children's series of all? time. In the preview image of that URL is Demonhead Master, which I saw on Twitter. I didn't really read anything into this, so I don't know if it's actually, citation needed is the phrase I'm looking for, but Demonhead Master is being remade, apparently. I never watched it sadly, but I'm all the four more children shows getting remade. Make it gritty and real. Make him kill the kids.

Oh, guys, I've heard from the German robot lady. Oh yeah? Here we go. She's just sent me this. I'm going to play it for you now. Hello, I'm Cheggers, and here is my popular show Cheggars pop. Wow, you best gross, my young. Hello, everyone.

I am Cheggers, and here is my popular show, Cheggers. I think you just said Cheggers Pop rather than Cheggers plays pop. And then it was... I didn't know what it was called. Wow. You're big, my child, my son, my child. Hello, I'm Cheggars And here is my popular show Cheggars pop

Wow, you best gross, my younger Child, I think that is Hello, I'm Cheggers and here is my popular show Cheggers pop, wow, you're tall my dude My dude My dude Rest in peace Cheggars His spirit lives on

I think Rip Cheggers, Rip Cheggers Oh bless him Thank you very much everybody for indulging me And that and now we know for sure Oh my god, in that Radio Times article they've embedded a tweet from Paul Chuckel who quote tweeted the CBBC tier list where they put Chuckle Vision mid tier

and they put, did we get it right? He's put, no actually, you didn't in my opinion at CBBC, get it right. Oh, wow. 2019 is a weird time. Chuckle Vision, 294 episodes over 21 years. Hashtag Paul. Holy shit.

Poor Paul. Paul, he doesn't need to see that. That's just heart-breaking. No, he doesn't. He doesn't. Bless him. Would you gentlemen like a question? Yeah.

Let me hit one up. If you had three wishes from a genie, what would you wish for? Oh, no. I think in the easy one's money, because then with that, that's a good blanket to do whatever the hell you want. But I'm trying to think of two fun ones. What would be like just something that could only attain with wishes? I want to play in a World Cup football match. Yeah?

I think that would be amazing. Just me versus maybe like one other good player and we just do a one-on-one for the world to see the World Cup finals maybe. Yeah. That's one of my wishes. I'd like to be in a somewhat significant but not lead role in a Star Wars main saga movie. Oh, yeah. That'd be so fun, yeah.

I don't think I'd want to be right in the foreman. front because you know you get abused on social media for the rest of your life but you know just some sort of merchant or something yeah okay that's a really good shout actually just a background extra yeah i don't know i wonder how hard it is to be a background extra because i knew people who were in star wars like the new ones as extras oh yeah yeah there are websites you can sign up no no yeah so you can't be briefly oh really yeah it's good money to be fair yeah it's long days though Yeah, but you get to be in the Star Wars. You do.

You do. What else would I like? I want Paul Chuckle to be happy. That's all I want. Please. Don't let him be sad. Oh, chuckle. I would like,

I'd like this picture of Dave Bandsen Phillips and not be in front of me all the time, because it is everywhere right now. I'm looking at Twitter and it's just on every, it's just, on every single column I have set up here. So you wish to undo that tweet you just did 40 minutes ago? I wish it was the same photo, but his shirt was just down.

Oh, probably quite nice. You know? Hiding the thong slash roll. Yeah, the thong roll. Not that we're shaming his body shape, obviously. No, no. Everybody has, everybody's got stuff going on. Your Phillips is beautiful.

Yeah. Your Phillips is beautiful, but I just can't tell if it's a thong or a fold. You want to be sure with that kind of thing, don't you? I'm currently just painting in his belly and paint, so I'll get this to you as soon as I can. That's my third wish. I wish I got a definitive answer on whether that's a thong or a fold. Sorry, on what sorry?

You cut out a little bit there for me. Whether it's a thong or a fold. That's my wish. Do you fancy tweeting him and finding out? No. I don't want him to know that we think about him. Dave, which is it? Do you wear women's underwear or are you a fat man?

Oh, no. Thank you for making that, Michael. That's fine. I'm going to tweet that as a reply to the original tweet. Oh, this is a mess for whoever's just on Twitter right now, innocently. They're having a good time. It'll come together. It's lots more free entertainment.

Hey, surely this is worth a couple of quid. Come on. Streamlabs.com forward slash video. It's official. Go on. What are you going to spend it on food for your? family get out of here spend it on edited pictures of Dave benson phillips so he's got top on bam yes so that's the dream that's three wishes between us there oh no yes i'm in star wars

mikey's playing the world cup final and ben doesn't have to look at Dave's belly anymore no Mikey made it come true Mikey made my dreams come true i'm actually the genie so peter you'll be getting his very special letter through soon for your oh you're in Star Wars You get to be a planet It's just a dwarf planet It's just a dwarf planet Oh no

Nice Fantastic Oh dear Ben I've got a thing Yeah would you like to present your thing to the table Fingers Yes so this is another one that's been brought to us by Twitter

Brought to our attention by Twitter It's specifically Adam underscore Warlock At Adam War 45495109 Sick Name My Dude who has been running a vidiates hunger games that sort of randomly generated and you input your own names and then it sort of randomly generates day to day

what happens in this hunger games and I thought this is a fantastic idea and he's been tweeting us you can go and check out his profile and see all of the, I think it's probably finished by the time this has gone out but I thought I'd do it as well And we could run through it on the podcast

because it would be different to the one that he's done. Okay. So there are, I don't know if you're familiar with the Hunger Games, but at the very least, I'm sure you're familiar with the concept where there are at least in this game that we're doing right now, which is called the Vidiates Games. There are 12 districts, and each district offers two tributes. So there are 24 people in this Hunger Games,

last person standing wins. And it's because it's about, like, food or something, right? When they win, they win food. They've had to go to Burger King or something, yeah. I don't know. It's weird. So I've seen the first film. I haven't seen any of the other ones.

I don't really know what's going on. But I could just about follow along with this. I'm sure you will be able to, too. Would you like to know who the participants are from each district? Oh, yes, please. From District 1. And I'm assuming this sort of means that they will kind of maybe, work together in some occasions because they're from the same district from district one you have

peter austin and rules boss oh what a combo oh my god how am i supposed to work with him from district two is ben potter and richard michinco oh you've got you've got a good one there oh you gave just a bit gave myself i gave myself the good boy yeah now i took screenshots of all of these by the way all of these different days i just simulated it all in one go and i i know who wins, but I did my best to avoid looking at the details. So this is an adventure for me too. And we're going to do half of it this show, because it's quite long. And we'll pick up again next time. Oh, exciting. Nice. So I'll finish running through these people. District three is Michael Johnson and Kevin. Yes. Oh, that's not good. You'll hear us coming from a mile away.

You will, yeah. You'll have to keep him quiet. But the loudest boys. But he's probably Too loud as people Kevin's just sat there But Kevin's probably got all kinds of attachments Like Swiss Army knife Swiss Army Kev Play and stuff

Yeah District 4 we've got Dave on Twitter And Jeff Oh nice Oh okay yeah District 5 Billy Ray Waurus and Miley Warris Oh that's cute

Fair enough District 6 Milo and Bobby Babylonie Podcast Legends Oh god yes District 7 Fellow podcast legends Meatface and Uncle Fatti

No, Uncle Fatti will eat meat face Oh god I don't even think of that This is terrible District 8 is Barbara Piss and Mr. Blobby Nice District 9, TV legends Cheggers and Dave Benson Phillips

Oh fantastic District 10 is Dick and Dom Oh very good Excellent District 11 and I've To credit where it's due again to Adam here I don't think that's his real name Because Adam Warlock is a superhero

A lot of these names were lifted from his original things. It was a huge... I can't remember half of these people half the time. District 11 is Stephen Seagull and Stoke-on-Trent. Yes. The entire town. The iconic town on the River Trent. Historic town.

Historic town. And finally, District 12 is beloved politicians, Theresa May and Bumpus Johnson. Oh, no. Delightful from District 12. I know who I want to lose. So I would like to wage a friendly I would like to wage a friendly waiver, no, friendly wager

What am I trying to say, Peter, help me here? Can you smell toast? Are you all right? Yeah, I can. A friendly wager then for this first part because the second part should be who do you think is going to win? This part, who do you pick as dying in this first half? Dave Benson Phillips. I hope the cards play out that way.

I'm going to go Milo actually As you ask that question I glanced down at my desk and just saw him looking back at me with his tiny saxophone on the cover of Daily Star I was like, you're dying with his shirt

shirt covering him up now because of Michael's Photoshop. Okay, here we go. You ready? I'm ready. The Blood Bath As the tributes stand on their podiums the horn sounds.

Teresa May runs away from the cornucose Rules boss runs away from the cornucopia, as does Bobby Babluni, Dom. Richard Michinko finds a canteen full of water. Dick, Jeff, Milo all run away. Uncle Fatty finds a canteen of water. Michael Johnson runs away. Miley Warris snatches a pair of says? Is that a thing?

S-A-I-S. Is that some kind of weapon? I don't know what that is. Let's have a look. What's a seiz? I have no idea. I like how Dick Machenko has found. useful provisions and so has Uncle Fatti. Like Ninja Swords. Oh, good. Well, Miley's got those.

What I'd like the most about this is that it's kind of like a horoscope in that it's very easy to sort of attribute the behaviour of these characters to them, even though it's completely random. You find meaning in it. It's fun. Stoke on Trent, Bumpus Johnson, Billy Ray Warris, Dave on Twitter, Ben Potter, all runaway. Stephen Seagull takes a handful of throwing knives. Nice.

Peter Austin runs away. Barbara Piss finds a bag full of explosives. Wow. Meat Face finds a backpack full of camping equipment. Dave Benton Phillips runs away. Mr. Blobby and Cheggers find a backpack full of camping equipment and Kevin runs away. Wow.

Day one. Dom searches for firewood. Milo tends to Bobby Babylonie's wounds. Miley Walrus diverts Meatface's attention and runs away. Michael Johnson and Richard Michinko split up to search for resources. A new team up there. Wow, I'm doing all right. Stoke-on-Trent runs away from Ben Potter.

Dave on Twitter discovers a river. Billy Ray Rouris and Dick from Dick and Dom threaten a double suicide. Wow. It fails and they die. Do they? Apparently, that's what it says. Wow, that's a dramatic opening. Billy Ray and Richard McCourt.

Oh. That's a sad. They've died. Rules boss dies of dysentry. Of course. No, my team mate. Mr. Blobby and Jeff Hunt for other tributes. Dave Benson Phillips picks flowers.

Oh, he's having a nice time. Cheggers stabs Uncle Fatty with a tree branch. No, that's just... He's just recovered. He's a fellow jungle resident. What are you doing? It's pretty horrible. Peter Austin thinks about home.

That's true. Constantly. I'm just waiting for the Dave Benson Phillips car gets shathing by a Seagull. He's picking flowers. He's living his best life. Theresa May kills Kevin with a hatchet. Nice. Stephen Seagull dies from an infection. Rip.

Barbara Piss receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. And Bumpiss Johnson collects fruit from a tree. Fallen Tributes 1. Six cannon shots can be heard in the distance. Today we've lost Billy Ray Warris. Dick, Rules Boss, Uncle Fatty, Kevin, and Stephen Seagull. Jesus, they're dropping like flies. They are.

Rest and peace, Fatty. Here is the current active players. Just sending them to you now. You can see the deceased there. Oh my God. They've got in the running. God, quite a lot of died. Yeah, we lost a lot.

We lost a lot of good men and women. All women? Vidyat's games night one. Richard Mijinko receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. Mr. Blobby climbs a tree to rest. Dom climbs a tree to rest. That'd be amazing to see. Cheggers starts a fire.

Jeff receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Meatface destroys Michael Johnson's supplies while he is asleep. That motherfucker. Barbara Piss and Peter Austin run into each other and decide to truce for the night. Hell yeah, Babs. Stoke-on-Trent tends to her wounds. That's right. Stoke-on-Trent is a woman.

Good. Yes. Miley Warris and Bumpis Johnson talk about the tribute. Still alive. I'm just gossiping on it. Theresa May. Theresa May poisons Bobby Babylonie's drink.

Wow. She drinks it and dies. Oh, Bobby. Theresa Mayer, how could you? Milo Fends Ben Potter, Dave on Twitter and Dave Benson Phillips away from his fire. We now move on to day two.

Milo's got purge experience. I think he's going to be. Yeah. Milos is a strong contender, I think. Barbara Piss severely injures Stoke-on-Trent and leaves her to die. Oh, my God. Peter Austin discovers a cave.

Oh. This might be my favourite one so far. Just because of the sheer amount of people involved, Cheggers, Michael Johnson, Jeff, Bumpus Johnson, and Dave Benson Phillips trackdown and kill Mr. Blobby. Oh my God. Jesus. Like a hit squad.

Why Blobby? What did he do? Was he still in his tree? He climbed the wrong tree, I think. Oh, I guess, yeah. Dave on Twitter searches for a water source. Milo stabs Theresa May while her back is turned. Yay, come on.

I don't think she's dead yet, though. Oh, shit. Ben Potter explores the area. Meatface receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Richard Michinko receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor. Who are these sponsors? Miley Walrus steals from Dom while he isn't looking. Wow

Here are the fallen tributes for today Bobby Babylonie Stoke-on-Trent Mr. Blobby Theresa May! Yes! Excellent She's gone Vidius Games Night 2

Dom screams for help Barbara Piss fends Dave Benson Phillips Milo and Michael Johnson away from her fire Oh God Cheggers passes out from exhaustion Not Cheggers Jeff receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

God. Richard Michinko tends to bumpiss Johnson's wounds. Miley Walrus receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor. Who is this? Unknown sponsor. I don't know. They're doing a lot though, aren't they? They are. They're keeping everyone afloat.

Peter Austin starts a fire. Dave on Twitter, Meatface and Ben Potter discuss the games and what might happen in the morning. Day three, Michael Johnson strangles, Bumpus Johnson with a rope. Ah, no better way to start the deer. It can only be one Johnson. Give me your prime minister's jacket.

I love my prime minister. Barbara Piss goes hunting. Miley Waurus attacks Milo, but he manages to escape. Richard Michinko travels to higher ground. Dave Benson Phillips stalks Ben Potter. Jeff and Meatface fight Peter Austin and Cheggers. Peter Austin and Cheggers survived. Oh, thank God.

Dave on Twitter thinks about home, and Dom explores the area. Three cannon shots can be heard. Today we lost Bumpus Johnson, Jeff, and Meatface. Oh, what a loss. Those who remain standing at the end of this a thing are Peter Austin with two kills. Yes.

Ben Potter and Richard Michinko. Michael Jack. Michael Jackson. He's the unknown sponsor. Oh, no. He's shoving medical supplies in everyone's face. Michael Johnson with two kills. Nice. Dave on Twitter.

Miley Waurus. Milo with one kill. Disappointment. Barbara Piss with one kill. The only district with both members are alive. Cheggers with four kills. Whoa. Dave Benson Phillips with one kill.

And the last person alive from District 10 is Dom. Oh. He's dickless. So Dave Benson Phillips still alive. It's been the DBP episode today, hasn't it? It really has. I'm so sorry, Dave, if you're listening. Why have you kept listening this far? Can we just call this one, just leave me out of?

Yeah, we have to. Yeah. Sort of have to, don't we? Oh, God. Well, that's my a thing. Next week, we see what happens next. It'll be a bit more rapid fire because obviously there's fewer participants now. Just more murder and carnage.

We're down to one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, ten, eleven. people we've lost half the field oh my god what what tragedy so tweet us let us know who you think is going to win the vidiates games we're all still in it currently nice well done us we'll see what happens that's my thing nice excellent thank you for that i can't wait welcome uh i hope i know because i'm on the one on twitter i'm doing quite well as well like i've i don't think i've died in that one yet i want to see if i can make it make it through two whole hunger games You're the last host standing. Yeah.

I'm ruthless, that's why. No one can stop me. Would you all like a tweeter question? Yes. This is a nice easy one from Sarah at Bags for Dice. Is the answer, Dave Benson Phillips? Oh, shit. All right, I'll do another one.

No. The question is, what's your go-to drunk food? Oh. It's a nice question. That doesn't involve. love of TV hosts. I've, I discovered, um, in my uni days, uh, well, there was this, there was a 24 hour McDonald's on the way home from town. And I, it is very dangerous. Yeah. But I found, and this could have been like pure coincidence or placebo, I don't think

there's any science behind this whatsoever, but if I specifically had, um, McDonald's on the way home from a night out drinking, I would feel kind of okay in the, morning and you could just say oh well maybe just eating helps but actually no if i went to like salt and pepper or you know to you know chicken chicken burger king or whatever chicken burger king chicken burger king it didn't seem to have the same effect there was something about getting a nice chicken nugget meal um maybe it's because i used to get a fizzy drink with it that could be it actually something about the sugary drink that all about hydrating All about having starchy, carbohydrate foods to soak up that sugar, my dudes.

Yeah. I don't know how true this is, but I heard that alcohol kind of crystallizes in you. So in the morning, when you take a drink, it kind of uncrystilifies and goes back in your bloodstream. Oh. I'm saying that out loud makes it sound really untrue, but I heard it from someone who did P-C-E-A level. So I trust them. I don't know I'm curious about

if you're very hung over and you have a rush of liquid like a bit of liquid does it re-invigorate the alcohol into your bloodstream quite fun to find out that's one to watch I don't know

I don't have that before I don't drink much anymore no when there's usually a small contingent at work the guy and have a drink a couple of nights a week at least and I usually go along but I run home from work

so I have a non-alcoholic beverage and so I'm rarely in a position where I am drunk and on the hunt for food but God, cheesy chips are good aren't me? They just don't do them down in Bristol like they do up north No, no they don't

Yeah cheesy chips is like an absolutely godsend I think How does the, is there like, I know there's vegan cheese But have you tried vegan cheesy chips Is that a thing that people do even? Does it melt like that? Yeah, it's just like normal cheese essentially. But yeah, there's a nice little chip place in Broadmead called the Hippie Chippy.

They're very nice vegan cheese and you get what's ever saucy one. It's very nice. That's cool. Yeah, just got to cover it up a bit, let the cheese melt. But that's the same for every cheese on chips. Fucking cheese on chips, I think it was me and Ben. I can't remember why we're heading that direction. But I went into the...

We'd come back from Azda. Oh, that's it. I went into Chill Grill and I ordered a cheese on chips. and my god it was it was cheese on chips it was just oh yeah warm salty chips with very hard grated cheese on it grated cheese and i just ate it it was sad but i ate it because i've paid one pound fifty for this i thought you're on the way to my flat weren't you or was it on the way back from there oh no we went to a different place uh when mikey was went to that because there was a kebab shop just around the corner from you wasn't there i think he went in there to get

some food. Yeah, I remember that specifically because every time we walk past Chill Grill, we always remarked on how nasty it looked. And you were like, I'm going to go in there. And the people in there, it was like a stereotype sitcom of the kind of people you would find in such an establishment. Like a bloke struggling to breathe next to us. Yeah, it was really horrible.

And then he got his hard grated cheese chips. Oh, no. Yeah, never again. I mean, it was literally months every day, I walked past that whenever I went to Astda, I was like, I'm going to try that one day and it disappointed just as much as I expected. It was the name of the cafe

in CBBC's Kaching. It was called the Chillout Grill. Oh. So there we go. I managed to bring that back to CBBC again. That's fun. I think one of my favorite drunk food is mashed potatoes.

Really? Yeah. That's an unusual one. Because obviously you don't really get it on a night out like in town but sometimes like when I get home

I've had like a dinner left for me by my parents very lovingly so and there's been incidents before where I haven't bothered to heat it up

and I just started eating the mashed potato with my fingers cold mashed potato yeah and it was still delicious not a high point but a delicious point

nonetheless wow Michael I'm going to say it that's a weird one is it I just it's just so much it's just so mushy it's easy

It's tasty. I think mashed potatoes is my favorite form of potato. Do you ever watch Bodger and Badger? Oh, the wet mashed potato fans. Oh, that was like porridge more than mash. Yeah. It's pretty horrifying. I didn't like it.

Yeah, I don't know. Chips, don't do it for me. If I can find like a takeaway with mashed potato, bam, I'll be in on that. I wouldn't trust that mash, though. I need to come back to the north to get mash on a takeaway thing. And gravy and mushy peas. But that'll be the 21st of September, Mike. What? The 21st of September, when we're also...

The 21st of September. We're also maybe doing a video stream, probably, yes. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm recording some stuff. So please be excited for that. I'll walk in the room with my bowl of mashed potato. Oh, God.

Great. Can't wait. And we'll give you guys plenty of warning, obviously. Yeah, we'll keep you updated. When we have a specific time. Yeah. But we've given you an extra long show. show today. Oh my God, we have. Really long. We had a lot. Extended show.

A lot of the same thing to talk about. Yeah, we hope you've enjoyed it. Thank you so much for listening. Once again, I'd like to give a shout out to this week's Pod Squad. We've got Grant, Wardenberg, Bobby Shagaloonie, Lord Brottovich, Drew from Minnesota, Jonesy, and the Maconis or the Michonis or the me, Conis. Dick Myconis. Dick Myconus. There we go. Thank you, Peter. And if you'd like a shout out, that's streamlabs.com forward slash video. It's official. The money gets split three ways between the three of us.

It gets put mostly back into the show, but sometimes towards pigeon tattoos and Spider-Man PS-4s, which is... Oh, yeah. Just happens sometimes. You never know where it's going to go. Sometimes weddings, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely.

Thanks to your donations, Peter's been able to afford a start-a-dish for everyone attending the wedding. It's probably true. He's bought napkins. That might be accurate. The trick is to not tell them you're getting married. Just say you're having a party. Oh, you get a wedding charge.

And your girlfriend's going to be in a big white dress, just coincidentally. Yeah. The moment they know it's a wedding, they smell your cash. You know, florists. Bastards. Caterers. No, we're not telling people that it's not a wedding. That's a bit, I feel like.

People account for their business per year based on the fact that they're going to have some weddings. You have to bite the bullet. It's going to be a small wedding, isn't it? Oh, true, yeah. How much could they really, you know, they could throw you a bone, couldn't they? Well, literally. That'll do us.

We just all little sort of, we'll all gnaw on it in the corner of the Austin. Little rabid borrowers. Borrowers. Yeah. When people get close. Yeah. Well, if you'd like to support us in other ways,

store.orgscast.com to buy some merchandise, and I believe there's a discount code. Oh my God. is it's vidyots. Use code vidyits for 10% of everything, everything on the Oggscast store. So you can use it to buy a new booth shirt. You got whatever else is on there nowadays, God knows. But most importantly, you buy our stuff and use the code on our stuff. That's nice. Buy our stuff too.

That'd be great one. I'll buy both. Yeah, just buy it all. Yeah, go on. What are you doing with that money? Idiot. If it's just sitting there, what do you need it for? Come on. Come a little bit closer to our wallet, son. Put it in.

YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash Vidiates official. And also Twitch.tv.TV forward slash Vidiates official. I'm sure we'll be streaming again at some point soon. But 21st of September is when we will all be together. Make sure you come along and give us a watch. We'd really appreciate that. If you want to see what Mikey's up to on a daily basis, you can do it.

The Yogs cast. Various things. You working on anything in particular? What are you working on, mate? Oh, I've got all sorts on. But I've recently, Face Punch, the makers of Gary's Mod and Rust, I did some merch photography for them. So they've just launched their new merch shop. So go check out my lovely images on there.

I guess we've got to be careful each week asking you what you're up to, because there's probably some NDA stuff that, like, you might accidentally. Oh, well, I'm just working on Half-Life 5, you know. Yeah, you know. I always have a slight pause. Can I talk about this? So I went for the safe option there, the released online store. Play it safe. If you'd like to see Peter and I, you can do YouTube.com forward slash team triple jump,

or alternatively to find all the links to all of the things that we do as part of triple jump. It's triplej.u.com. How do you pronounce that properly, Peter? Triple jir. Dot mup. Nice. And what do we do over there? Oh, well, we do lists that we actually enjoy doing because they're the ones that we come up with. But we also do some familiar shows that the vidiates among you might recognize. You're all vidiates, so hopefully you recognize them. got Rules Boss, which is basically a piece of cake featuring Rules Boss. We do Prove It,

where we do live action challenges of video game skills that we have learned. We also do cut content where we have guests on to tell us about their video game pet peeves. We've had Bufon. We're going to have some more people on, probably from the Yorkscast Network, hopefully, but time will tell. And we're going to have Mikey on when he comes. Well, it's up to him whether he comes or not. I know I will. I guess we'll find out soon. Finally, leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice.

It all helps something to do with algorithms. Worst games ever. We have Worst games ever too. Worst games ever is the main one. You know the flagship show that we've been doing for years. We have that. We've got that one too. Before I ask you guys for a question at the end,

I'm just going to go back to the post we've done on Twitter. I say we. It was my fault. I'm sorry. You know that da Bungalow Clips, Twitter account? He follows me now. I feel like you've mentioned it. Yeah, he follows me too.

I was just pointing out because he, because DeBungalow Clips has liked that picture of Dave Benson Phillips. Well, because I was just like, oh, that's interesting. We talked about, I talked about Dubungalow clips in a previous vidiates, uh, Poddiot episode and someone tweeted about it or debungalow clips somehow found out about it. And then, you know, I think I just said, oh, yeah, you're doing great work or something on Twitter. And then he followed us. And I think he follows videos, too.

Oh, must do. So hello de Bungalow clips. If you're now a regular potty, it's listener. I hope you are. I feel like we're right up your alley, my dude or dudess. It'd be good to hear from you. Okay, let's see. Might be a lady.

Could be a lady. I'm sorry for assuming your agenda. Some replies here. Sean Legg says, that's a lot of Nando's. Just leave me out of it, he said. Good to see you're doing that for him. And that's pretty much. Just a lot of dismay, really.

Just a lot of sadness. I'm just waiting for that one person to tag Dave and unleash hell on us. Yeah. That's not going to happen, is it? Christ. There we go. Someone assuming it was your fault, Michael.

I didn't do nothing. I didn't do nothing. It seems like whenever anything weird goes out, people are like, oh, it's Michael. Yeah, most of the time it's Ben. It's always Michael. Yeah, it's usually me. Sorry, everyone.

Sorry about that. I hope you're all recovering. Okay, right. Mystery question, what we got? I want to know what other people's. Not that we would encourage drinking, but if you have been drinking, what's your drunk food? Yeah, what'd you fancy? Garlic and chips.

I don't think of that. Come a little bit closer or grosser. Extra 50s worth of garlic. Yeah. You'll fucking smell it. I fucking did. Did you fuck, you lying bastard? I fucking did.

You go and ask. You're comfortable there, like? Yeah. Right, we should really go. Kevin, I think he's probably... He just exploded in the car park earlier a few times, so I think we should just... And there it is, it's happening, great.

Just brainwaves going on. Thanks so much for watching everybody. We'll be back really soon. 21st of September. Write it down. Remember it. Keep it free. We'll see you in a couple of weeks' time.

Goodbye. Bye, then. Bye, everybody. See you later. Yeah. Bye. Fuck off. Calling all book lovers, the Toronto International Festival of Authors brings you a world of stories all in one place.

Discover five days of readings, talks, workshops, and more, with over 100 authors from around the world, including Rachel Maddow, Ketouru Isaku, and Kieran Desai. The Toronto International Festival of Authors, October 29th to November 2nd. Details and tickets at Festival of Authors.ca.