Podiots - Podiots: Episode 38 - The B-Side

Episode Date: October 1, 2019

THE VIDIOTS ARE IN THE SAME ROOM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2019! Peter got himself a support clown, Mikey's got some Geordie facts, and Ben plays the final portion of the Rosie And Jim tape. Donate to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/vidiotsofficial New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Product availability may vary by Regency App for details. Oh, he's kind of a bit rowdy in there. We did put some biscuits in there, for it. Kevin, keep it down. He's not right, we're waiting, you know, the show's not ready yet. Yeah, everyone's still getting the stuff together. And Kevin's here bopping away. He doesn't think he's coming out, he doesn't think he's coming out to the box, does he?

Oh, definitely. Why did we ship him up? If not to release. him. I mean, I don't really want to see him. Kevin, stop it. I don't think it's right for anyone to see him, especially on a video podcast, as this is. No one's to see that. Sorry, a video podcast. A video podcast. That you can watch on YouTube.com forward slash video. It's official. If you're listening to the audio, you're a chump. Yeah. You could go see us in person. You see the Kevin, the Kevin box, Kev box. So what is the plan? What are we actually

doing here with the, with the Kev box? Well, I guess when we're ready to start the the podcast will just open it and tell him to open his mouth and then um close it immediately are we ready to yeah i guess so do you want to give it a player if only was a more efficient way to get audio i know it's just i can't believe we we whoa oh jesus god it's overpowering smells and the sounds are you okay peter you've got no ear protection kevin kevin do the music he's already doing the music oh can you not hear oh he's deafened peter Oh no, Peter. Oh, no.

What are you saying? I said he's deaf and Peter. He's deafened you. He's deafened you. Oh, my God. This is the worst. Let's just roll the... Let's roll the...

Let's roll the... Let's just... Oh, my God. I hope he's okay. God. everybody, and welcome to Podits, the official, Bidiotz, podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home

and obey the laws of the three us where everybody brings A Thing Along to Talk About. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. We did it. We did it. It's nice to be able to just do it in sync without...

It's so much easier. Without the delay. Synchronicity. A thing, thinking... It's... A long. Kind of like a quiet. Why aren't we when we do that?

I think when in person, at least, over discourse is not quite as quick. It's absolutely beautiful. Michael Johnson is in the house. That videots are all in the same room. As we said at the opening of the show, if you go to YouTube, you can watch a video version of this where we're all sat here and talking to each other face to face. With things on the desk. The things on the desk.

Ben's set it up all lovely and nice. Yeah, I brought them all in from all my knick-knack paddywax, give a dog a bone. Speaking of giving dogs bones, Michael. Hello. Peter and I have got you a special present. Oh, no, I didn't, okay, this generally wasn't, I wasn't told anything about this. For coming all the way up. Oh, here you go.

Oh, it's lovely. It's a lovely. Take it out with your eyes closed and then, and then describe it to the audience. It's a special, it's a special, uh, special present. What is this? It's, okay, well, without taking it out, it feels like a pot of jam. It's extra, extra 50 other garlic. Oh, there you go.

Oh yeah, we can swear, can't we? Yeah, we fucking count. Hey, motherfuckers, we're, we're, we're fucking count. Hey, motherfuckers, we're, we're, we're, fucking back. It's what $150 for the garlic and chips? Yeah. I got an extra 50 garlic.

Did you fuck? I fought indeed. Did you fuck your lion? Yeah, I'm sorry. There you go, Michael. Oh, that's amazing. There's a little bit of Michael Jogson on the front there with his big dilated drug eyes. Yes, and that's what I aspire to be.

That's amazing. Thank you very much, boys. It was Ben's idea and money, but I exist. Peter's in the room as well. Peter's also... He's next to the garlic. Yeah. Thank you very much, boys. I'll cherish that. It's okay. You're not allowed to eat it.

Oh, it's gone. Okay, well, that's fine. If you'd like to treat us with a little bit more respect than Michael Johnson did, you can go to streamlabs.com forward slash video. It's official and join the Pod Squad. This is an elite team of operatives led by Richard Demodickmachinko, who obviously is a prolific donor to us. Yeah, they exist now as Soldiers of Fortune.

If you can find them. Yeah. And if you can get their PayPal information, then maybe you can join Pod Squad. Check the bodies. If you'd like that asshole still got a wallet, if you would like to donate to the show any amount, it goes a long way and it really helps us just sort of keep things ticking over. The people who've donated since the last show, because we're recording two of these back to back, what I've done is I've split them in half. So we've got half of the people from the last show for this pod squad and half the people from the last show for the next pod squad.

So even though there's going to be two weeks until the next episode after this one, any donations for that will not be read on that one. They'll all be read on the following podcast. I hope that makes sense. Oh, boy. I hope that makes sense. So, Pod Squad this week, we've got the real Michael B. The Far Wall. Shagga Returns.

Yes. David Lever. Shagger is prolific. He's frequent. I think it's his extended family, isn't it? The Shaggers. The Shaggers. David Lever, Luke, Princess Carla Love, Emily Lemons,

Mr. Mrs. McConey, Machoni, Machinco. Machinco. Machinco. And top Shacki. Shagga Bumpiss. Oh. Oh, no. That's his brother, I guess.

Got a lot of shagas in today. Yeah. Got a lot of... And royalty. We've got a princess in there, too. Oh, yeah, sorry, there was a princess. Sorry, hang on, I really skirted over that one. Princess Carla Love.

Princess Carla Love. The Princess and the Shagga. The way we do this show is that we've all got a thing. We've also got some questions as well. I have a little anecdote that I'd be meaning to tell on the podcast I completely forgot about. This isn't my thing, but I thought I just talked to you guys about it. Okay. So when I was walking back from a post work pub visit a few weeks ago, it was late at night.

It was about 11 p.m. And I was walking down the road. And obviously, I'm intimidating and scary, so people don't, they don't mess with me because they know that I will, I don't know, like, say rude words to them and stuff, which is hurtful, flower. Oh, flower. A man came up to me, he had a waterproof jacket on. He didn't look homeless. Okay, and this is relevant. He didn't look homeless.

Because he had a phone. Yeah. Because he had fun. Yeah. And he was running away from zombies. Yeah. It was fine. And he had this waterproof jacket on.

And he'd got it done up to about the middle of his stomach. But his arms weren't in the sleeves. Right. So he was there with his arms pinned to his sides by his jacket that somehow he'd reached up underneath and zipped up to about here. And he came up and he said, can you zip me up, please? And I was thinking, how could you zip me up? Could I not? Zip me up?

Not can you release you let me out? I've been maybe a bully got him. I'm actively being bullied. Yeah, but no, he wanted to be, he wanted an extra 50 worth of zip. He didn't want to ever get out of that course. Garlic and zips. Yeah, it was there like this. And he was like, can you zip me up please?

And this strong Jordie accent. I was like, sure, man. It's your life, I guess. And so, and it was really tight because obviously a jacket that's form fitting is not meant to have arms, shoulders as well all sort of stuffed in so I managed to get it done all the way up and I was like I'm doing my best man and then he said can you tie up the sleeves as well please so he wanted the sleeves like an actual straight jacket look here's my here's my reminder how you forgotten to tell this the man I tied into a straight jacket is my reminder it's been on

my phone for like three weeks did he in his half done up jumper he wasn't like topless underneath was he no no he was wearing a shirt right it wasn't It wasn't even that cold. So I thought immediately, well, maybe he's homeless and he's just really cold. Yeah. And he said, I've just got a long walk home. I was like, right. So then I tied, I went to tie the sleeve and said, can you time behind my back please? I was like, I'm sure. This guy sounds like a bit of a pervert. So I was joking with him at this point. I was sort of laughing around with him. And like, yeah, okay, man. And I tied him up. But they wouldn't really do up very well, because they weren't very long. Yeah. So I tied them up. I said, I've done my best, man. He was like, well, if they come undone, I'll find you. And I was like, ha. Oh my God. Please don't. And yeah, that was a thing that happened to me a few weeks ago.

So you just, like, patted him on the back and off you went. I just let him go on his merry way. I didn't really know what else to do. How weird. I will backpedal on the word pervert because that's a bit kinkshamey. He wasn't harming anyone, so he's not a pervert. He's a sinner deviant. But, yeah, what I mean is he was a man potentially who put his jacket on and went out into the street to find someone who would tie him up.

I think that's kind of what this is. You don't need someone to tie it up behind your back if you've got a long walk. It's not going to make you any warmer. I thought. Have I been assaulted? Possibly. Is that what's going to happen when he gets home?

Like, what if he doesn't see anyone for the rest of the night? He'll just get home all tied up. That's just part of his sick game. That's what he wants. Well, yeah, maybe it is. I think he probably had a vibrating butt plug up his ass that you didn't know about. Peter Austin, why are you ruining this for me? I'm making it better.

I thought this was a nice fun. story about a strange man who wanted to be. I thought all this and maybe he's just like a street performer and part of his gig is, you know, getting out of a jacket. At 11 o'clock at night. He's someone to put him into it and then he wandered off and found a group of people to impress with his skill. Right. But no, he's like an escapologist. He's like Harry Houdini. He was either an escapologist or a pervert with a butt plug. No one really knows. Probably both. Yeah, that makes sense. I think, I think both. Absolutely. Anyway, that was that. Wow. Thanks for ruining it, Peter. That's okay. First question comes from Kells at Kelly Marshall 98 on.

Twitter, if you had to be a character associated with a food brand and live entirely in that universe forever, what would you be, for example, Ronald McDonald, the Cocoa Pops monkey, and Rory the Frosty's Tiger, etc., which is the first time I've actually heard his name. Rory? Rory? It's Tony. What did he say Rory? It said Rory. It said Rory. It's Tony. It's an auto-correct. Possibly. Well, I prefer Rory. Tony's less successful brother. He didn't do the swimming certificates he did the bowls and then of course there's the third brother tori the tiger yeah we don't like it's just austerity yeah he cut tiger benefits quite quite viciously frostarity

shut up peter where would you live what a universe what hellish food universe would you live i did always like the cocoa pop's jungle but i like it's like the animation style and stuff but then obviously i don't like you know all of all of the watering holes that they turn into chocolate pools Of course, you don't like chocolate. So that sounds hellish for you. Every time I would go for a drink, they'd just be pouring like milk and cocoa pops into all of the estuaries.

I'd be like, please, cocoa, I'm so thirsty. Pea, have some more chocolate milk. Please, no, I've been dehydrated. My pee is brown. So I probably couldn't do that, I don't think. I don't think I could live there permanently. On a similar being to that, oh my God.

Choco Chimps is an old brand cocoa pops thing. That's horrible. I don't know what the point of me doing this is. But on the cover is the most realistic rendition of a monkey. It's really weird. And it's made of a 90% actual chimp. Oh, what is it? So that's the universe I don't want to live in.

Now, the idea of existing in a McDonald's universe is quite appealing. But they do have a character who his whole thing is crime. He's a villain. His whole thing is taking food away. I don't know if I want to live in an idyllic food world where there's crime. You're neglecting a very, very important thing. What's that? They're McNuggies.

I mean. They're McNugger. The McNuglet, right? Ronald Coon. Ronald Coon's McNugies. Of course, I forgot. Well, that's pretty big part. You're going to McDonald's land.

I want to be in the Burger King dynasty. Okay. I want to be like some kind of... The Burger Prince. There we go. Yeah, and maybe I'll start my own chain of foods. Oh, the Burger Prince is like the kids menu at Burger King then. Oh, okay.

I'll pioneer that. That's what I'll do. Do you think... What's his name? Uncle Ben's Rice? Is he in the Spider-Man universe and he just dies every day and it's his hell. I don't know if I've said this on a video before.

I know a guy whose name is Ben Rice. Yes, you have said this, I remember. And a year or so ago, or two years ago, his sister had a child and he became Uncle Ben Rice. No. Fantastic. His parents must have known. One day, one day,

he will have a nephew. Good, good Lord. The prophecy will be fulfilled. Yeah. Let's have another quick question before we go to our first thing. This is from David L. at Dalek platypus on Twitter. You can remain human, but take the skills of an animal as a superpower. What animal do you choose?

For example, dolphin gives you fast swimming, underwater breathing, ultrasound communication, echolocation, etc. Well, dolphins can't actually breathe underwater. I think you'll find. They can hold their breath for quite a long time. Say that, David. You idiot. Yeah, why you said a stupid...

How dare you, David? How dare you? Yeah. Wow, okay. What are the most talented animal? Camelians. That'd be great to cheat like shift shape colour. Yeah, that'd be good. It's not as simple as that, but I think just... I'd be bad for videos, actually. I've just blend into the wall. Yeah. Where's Michael? Oh, we can hear him. He's the world's worst camouflage. What's a skilled animal, yeah. I think a crow maybe? Some kind of intelligent flying animal.

Yeah, exactly. We're really good at thievery. I don't want to live in the McDonald's universe because of the thief, but I want to be a thief. If I can be that, what if I can go to the McDonald's universe? and be a better burglar. Fantastic at eating roadkill as well, Crows. Yeah. Well, renowned for doing that as well, so I can do that too, I think. I'd want to be an ape, I think, just to have that raw power. The chocco chimp. The choco chimp.

No, not the choco chimp. I'd develop really long limbs, and I'd just walk around on all fours and climb around everywhere. I think that'd be super helpful. Yeah. I just wouldn't have to obey the laws of roads and paths anymore. I can just climb over buildings. Do what I want. Send you spider man, but monkey man.

Chimps are. really good reaction times have you seen those lab tests that they do you know like Coco the gorilla who is a man inside the suit they give them like this LED screen or like a touch screen sorry and like these lights come up and they basically just to tap it as fast as they can they do it like way better than a human can there's footage of them and they just go yeah what could they play running in the 90s do you think yeah probably and they do those those keyboards where the lights come down and tell you which button to press and lights

up yeah like they would be really good at that kind of thing Let's get a monkey and put it all that game. Yeah, well, you're going to be one. Oh, there we go. It's fine. When you're saying reaction time, I was thinking maybe there sat a monkey down in front of a computer and showed at one of those screamer videos where it's like the car's driving along the road and the zombie pops up and how quickly does the monkey scream? Really fast.

We know that now. I've seen people play it to dogs and stuff and dogs have no reaction at all. Like, they're just not scared of that. But I'd be interested to see if it affected a monkey given there they're a lot closer to humans. It's a horrible experiment. But it's got to be done I am very curious now Peter wants to be a nasty zoologist

That's what Peter would become The animal inside all of us The man inside the animal inside us The monster, yeah That's what I want to be No I don't I hate animal testing I think you're going to say hate animals

I hate animals I hate animals I hate them that much I don't even want to work with them Man what would I do Yeah I think I'd like to be able to fly as well To be honest, yeah.

Yeah, I missed out there. I've chose to climb things where I can just flown over them. You're good at them. Maybe I'd be a bat, just for a separate answer to Ben's, really, which is a good answer, you know, a crow. So you'd be a nocturnal fly boy. Well, yeah, it just means that I'd be able to fly,

but also I'd be able to echo locate. Bats are also not blind. No, they're not. Most bats, or maybe all bats, aren't blind, that that's a myth. They just, they go out at night, and so they don't need to use their eyes very much. So they learn to sense with their ears

a lot better than their eyes, but they can see. So would you be anything like Batman? Or would you just... I think it'd mostly be like Batman. Oh, would you be Bat, Space Man. Not Bat Space Man, Bat. Space Man.

Man. Or actually, maybe just being Spider-Man would be cool. Yeah, is that allowed? Yeah, can we just be one of the actual animal superheroes? I haven't got Rules Boss's number up here. Otherwise, we'll have to check. But Peter can just be... I'll be a crow.

Peter can be Spider-Man. And Mikey can be a ape. Yeah. At ape. A ape. thing time who would like to go first I've got one right here

writing his pocket by Peter's dad he sent it to the family WhatsApp and said hey Pete here's a good one for your podcast oh that's nice it is it's a good little story thank you Mr Austin New Zealand man brings clown to redundancy meeting

oh of course did you hear about this story yeah so this is real this happened and at time of recording it happened five days ago. This is according to the BBC News app. When a copywriter Josh Thompson received an ominous email from his bosses asking to discuss his role at the company, he knew who was facing redundancy. The Human Resources Department at FCB New Zealand encouraged him to bring a support person to help cushion the blow. Wait, really? Is that a thing that...

An option that is legally required in New Zealand. That's progressive as hell. It's an option that's legal. You don't have to do it, but they have to offer it to you. Wow. Well, yeah, so that makes it very obvious that bring your support person to this meeting is not a good sign. Yeah, true. Wow. Oh, dear. But rather than bring a family member, a friend, or even a pet, the part-time stand-up comedian, apparently, decided to splash out 200 New Zealand dollars, that's 100 pounds, on a clown called Joe. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Babylon. Hi, Evelyn. You've been made redundant. Oh, no. I was working, I was working

because I had a job back then, and I got a, that's a weird way to start. Say that again? This is his quote. I was working because I had a job back then, and I got an email, and the email said, is a comedian not alright there, let's put that out there. What he means was...

Well, he might not be a very good comedian either. I was at work in the days before I was made redundant, and I got an email that said, Hi, Josh, we'd like to meet with you to discuss some matters in regards to your role, he told BBC from Australia where he's been making the most of not having a job in Australia

Basically I sensed that this was going to be a redundancy So I thought I might as well try to make the best out of this situation He added They've now just inserted Another article that you can go to Just in case mid article you want to change to Is it all over for non-creepy clowns Well apparently not

Because they're getting work from Joe Josh, sorry. Joe accompanied Josh for the redundancy meeting where the clown made balloon animals, although he had to be told to stop a few times as it was difficult to hear above the screeching of plastic. Josh, you've been...

Josh, Josh, Josh, Joe, shut up. We can't hear above the screeching of plastic. So, he was... Asked to stop a few times, as it was difficult to hear but for screeching of plastic. Boy, oh boy, are they noisy, Josh said, balloon animals. Right. When Josh was finally delivered the hammer blow that he was to lose his job,

the clown reacted accordingly. He nodded his head along when I received the bad news as if he was also receiving the bad news, Josh said. Professionalism at its finest, really. And then he asked to be tied into a jacket. Yeah. Josh said he'd highly recommend hiring a clown as support for any suspected redundancy meeting

If you've got family, friends, stepmums, stepdad's, stepkids Bring them by all means, he said But if there's any clown available, especially Joe I definitely recommend it Joe Joe Jew the clown, that's not a very good clown name No, it's usually it's like a word adjective or something It's just Joe Oh there you go

That's the sad, happy sad tale Oh that's what I'm going to do when I moved to New Zealand and get fired from all of the jobs I have out there. Yeah. See, because I didn't know that in New Zealand, it was a required, well, it was an option to have someone go with you. So I thought, when I first heard, like, started reading, I was like, wait, did he just, like, bring a clown to this meeting

and just assuming it was a redundant meeting. And say, I'm not having this meeting with you if you don't let Joe in. And I imagine if it was just like, oh, yeah, we'd like to give you a pay rise. And a clown just sat there, like, make a dollar sign in balloons. in the article I read as well the clown motioned tears as he was getting handed his notice

like that that's a really good idea that's why I expected when it said he reacted accordingly I thought like he maybe did a sad clown like you know he might have had one of those where they've got tubes

that go up behind their ears and they squirt water out God but the windscrim wipers as well aren't yeah but no just said that he nodded and or shook his head or whatever

The sad clown. Like he was also receiving the sad. So much empathy. It's my empathy clown. Well, like the related article says, it's almost all over for non-creepy clowns, apparently. They're on their way out. Who would you bring to your redundancy meeting,

if not a clown? Meatface. Just put it on a plate and let it defrost throughout the meeting. That's a power move, that. What do you say to that? Yeah. I would bring rules, rules boss oh yeah because nothing would ever get done yeah exactly it would be it would just be embroiled

in red tape forever nothing would ever get done yeah so I'd just keep coming to work that's a good idea I'd bring a personalized video message from Dave Benson Phillips oh excellent that'd be really lovely I'm sure he'd love to do that yeah what I mean by menandoes or something after Dave Benson Phillips did my redundancy video speaking of which we need to we need to tweet Dave Benson because we're recording oh okay yeah we're going to find a picture fine one. Peter, I don't know you can't see. Yeah, of course. I look him up often. Which one are we feeling today? There's him on a banana phone.

I feel like you should just like go way down the page. Should I just scroll for a year? Yeah, find some old sort of deep, deep web Dave Demp. In his, um, velvety throne. Oh, it's a shutter stop one as well. Nice. It's got shutter stock. There's a shutter stock Dave Benson photo. Yeah. Should we just post that one? I don't want to settle on it, but I have a little scroll up. Oh, a little bit further up. We've gone a bit, we've gone too far. We've actually run out of Dave Benson for this. Chris Moyles there.

Don't fuck with Dave Benson Phillips on the shirt. Nice. I've seen that before. There's him being patted by Pudsey. I like that one, I think. Look at these little face. Should we post that one? How do you feel about that one?

How do you feel about that one? Oh, wow. He looks like he's meeting his hero. He's like so pleased. Let's post that one. It's very low quality as well, which I think is really low. Should I put it in Photoshop and blow it up? So it's really blurry.

Yeah. See the individual pixels. Okay, this is important. Sorry, everyone. 5,000 by 5,000 pixels. Yeah, okay, I'll do that and I'll show you the results. In the meantime, will you talk to me about Area 51, please? Sure.

The raid happened and no one was shot. What a disappointment. Yeah. Everyone was very good boys. I didn't realize this until, like, yesterday, when we started reading up on it, that there was a festival arranged at the same time, so it wasn't just people, like gathering together outside the gates.

It was a full-on festival going on with events and food. Alien stock, I think they're calling you. Well, that might not be the official name, but that's what the media outlets are calling it. There was, of course, the one guy who was caught in there. I mean, that guy won the event, I think. Like, if anyone did something at Area 51, there was the guy who ran past the news reporter,

Naruto style, yeah. That was the real winner. Yeah. And then subsequently, we were all winners. That's awful. It doesn't look like Dave Benson. No, it doesn't really. Once it's blown up that big.

It looks like Dave Benson's grandma. Dave Benson, Grandma. Oh, God. Okay, let's save that. They've been some phyllis. That's much better. That's a way better one. But, yeah, it happened.

And there was some footage of, like, a group of people standing at one of the barriers that says, like, stop, you know, you'll be shot if you enter. And there were, like, three military men there. All women. Stand in guard. And I think at that point, you know, as much as these webes and such really wanted to storm Area 51, when they arrived at the gate and saw three men in military uniform. probably armed, they thought, we will actually get shot, won't we, if we go through that barrier? That was the point of the original thing.

They can't stop us all. No. So there's got to be some sacrifices there. Run faster than their bullets. Yeah. That's what they said. All the other kids with... There was a very scary man with a dog that I saw.

Yeah. Yeah. But there was a very special guest at Alien Stock, wasn't there? Oh, my God. I've almost forgot. Yeah. Who was it, Mikey? Dick Machenko himself was speaking at Alien Fest. whatever the hell it's called.

I think it was like Storm, Area 51, storm the gates. Base camp or something. Yeah. The actual Dick Mucinco, Machenko, Machenko, Marsenko. However it's said. Shakira, Shakira. Yeah, was actually there. Would you believe?

When worlds collide. That's magic. Also, yesterday, on the very same day, apparently, according to Twitter, Dick and Dom went and did a uni event at... They did. The city, historic town, sorry, on the river.

They went to Stoke-on-Trent. For a university event. Stoke-on-Trent. They must have played that song. Oh, my God, they would have played that song. I hope they did, because they're DJing that's what they do a lot of. And you see videos posted of, like, their sets, but you can't go to Stoke without playing Stoke-on-Trent.

No, you can't. Or a remixed version. Oh, my God. Stoke-on-Trent. Stoke-on-Trent. Stoke-Stoke-Stoke-Stoke. God, I wonder if one exists. If it doesn't, it should.

Time to be made. Yeah, time to do it. Let's have another question now. This is from Harrison Kalnan at Daffoo Fighter 666. Daffoo Fighter. Daffoo Fighter 666. Would you ever consider doing a live event with fans?

For example, a live recording of potty in a venue with fans or a something reminiscent of a Saturday morning kids show combining your cookery show, your gaming and a trivia quiz. Loser getting guns! Oh my God, that's a great idea. I'd love to do a Saturday morning

show. Well, I guess we've got an announcement to make. Glitch has been cancelled. What is it? Glitch? Glitch? It's cancelled. Yeah, well, in our very formative time of videos, we did almost have a live show with half films, I think, for a Newcastle-based gaming event. God. Which was an absolute disaster. Just getting pushed and pushed and pushed. I think it was being set up by students, wasn't it? Like, we were joking about it at first. Like, this must be being run by students. And then it really just felt like it probably was. We've had to delay the event for a dream sponsor and it never happened.

Yeah, it just got cancelled. But then we just came to Newcastle anyway because the flights were booked. Yeah. We came here. How was that? We came to this real. Yeah, we should probably say thank you

to Colthorolic for, and particularly Adam, for allowing us to use the facilities today. Yeah, that's very kind of. We all came in to use the toilet, that is, and then we just set up in here. Yeah. He doesn't need to know,

doesn't need to know, does he? A live thing would be so good. I guess the most likely thing, I mean, given that like we wouldn't be able to finance our own independent vidiates event right now. But I guess the most likely thing would be potentially at a future YogCon maybe if they had a slot

and if we were famous enough to warrant having... I think we could make it work. If you would like to see us at a future YogCon, let the Yogs cast know. Let them know. Set up a bot that'll tweet them every five minutes. Because it sounds... Yes, do that.

I love that. They love it. Just send them loads of posts with our names on it. They really enjoyed that as well. because it sounds like there was a big vidyots there was a lot of Vidyat's representation at Yodkot yeah I bumped into so many fans

like we have a rules boss cosplay most importantly that was amazing Matt nice one and yeah it was I think I bumped into it must have been about 20 25 people at least who all like knew and like Seth said thanks for us existing I didn't expect there to be that many only not because I don't think Vidyat's fans exist but like Area 51

Yeah, but just because obviously there was a cap on, well, there was a capacity to the room. It was 800 people. And I thought statistically, you know, the Yorkcast Network is a big old thing and we're only a small portion of it. And if there are only 800 people, we're going to be, you know, an equally small portion of that 800, which it will be one or two people, you know. So I thought, oh, it's maybe not going to be like much, much there. But that's, I was pleasantly surprised to hear that, you know, people were there to see us. There was a volunteer with a video shirt on, and the volunteer said, hey, big fan. Yeah, it was really nice.

And I think one of the moment, it was like, oh, God, there might actually be some videos fans here. I think it was, as the gates were opening, we had a screen on stage. I was on the main stage doing camera. And I just saw the rules boss enter in the crowd. It was like, oh, my God, it's happening. Hello. Hello. We work with a couple of videos fans as well, don't we?

We do. James and Andrew both work in the office on a day-to-day basis who watched our stuff last year. I think as long as there's a demand and we have some way of doing it because we don't live anywhere near each other then absolutely we would love to but I think as you said YogCon is probably

it's a perfect opportunity to do that because we wouldn't have to pay the set it on because we wouldn't have to pay to set it on so if that's something people are interested in then let Yog's cast know I think doing a Saturday morning show format is a great idea I never even considered that I just thought like oh well we probably do

live worst games wouldn't we but like yeah we could do cooking Live cooking would be really good, actually. Would it? Yes. It would be really bad good. Right. Good bad.

We'd make the best, worst food. Yeah. We'd wrecked ruins. Ruins. We wrecked ruins flat, didn't we? Ruins. Peter. Oh, I see.

Yeah. We petered ruins flat. We petered all over ruins flat. Yeah. We did some cooking for triple jump. Got a sticky floor. It's a real mess. It went everywhere.

Yeah. And I got home really late last night and I just went to bed because I was like, I can't face doing that. And then I had to leave like, you know, first thing, well, not first thing, but, you know, it's still there, basically. I've got to go back to just a pile of sticky. Yay. Delicious sticky. What a treat.

Mikey. Hello. Have you got a thing? I, I said, I've got a thing, and you know what? Since I'm back in the northeast, I thought I'd bring some fun facts about the northeast. Oh, so let me just pull up my thing. Come a little closer than me thing. Pop me a proper closer.

Inusual, happy, Mikey style, some of these are a bit gross, but. What would it be without a bit of gross and say? Hooray! First one is, Newcastle was visited by the plague on many occasions, but the worst outbreak of all was one of the most destructive plagues ever in existence. Really? So we were one of the worst hit areas in the world. Wow, okay.

It happened in 1636, and it seems to have started down by the river in May, probably brought along by a six sailor. Those old bastards. Oh, coming over here, giving us their diseases. Killing off the population. It spread throughout the town, and it raged on, from May until about winter, and in that time it killed 47% of the population.

Oh, my God. Almost half the population were killed by a sailor, essentially, which is insane. It was almost like a 50-50 chance that you would even live. Yeah, which is it. That's not good odds, really, is it? Got an extra 50 worth a chance. Yeah. Got an extra 50 worth of death.

God. And it turns out in Newcastle, they also had some pretty good ways of dealing with drunkards. Oh, yeah. Okay. they had a humiliation technique that was designed to invite public content and was one of the punishments handed out to those who disturbed the peace such as habitual drunkards and regular brawlers the new castle cloak it was called okay it was essentially a wooden barrel with holes in it that they'd pop over people to try not who you bumped into the other day oh my god the new castle

cloaker he might have been very drunk yeah i have no idea yeah they just popped a wooden barrel on people and got them to just go off on the merries with that. God. It was worn by fenders with the shoulders taking the weight and often accompanied by an iron apparatus called the Branks. Do you know what Branks is? No, it's a place in New York. The Brank.

I'm not sure exactly this is correct, but essentially it's like an iron helmet thing that you wear. Oh, with an iron tongue. And basically stops you from talking. I didn't know that's what it was called, but I've seen one. The Branks, and that was there just to shut them up. God. Just wandering around.

town send it in the barrel with the Bronx. Jesus, that's pretty brutal. I've also just realized that sort of by old wives tales and like medicinal herbal medicine that they used to do hundreds of years ago, garlic is like anti, certainly antifungal.

I think it might be anti-viral as well. Oh, no. So maybe that's why the Juxons have been using it since the plague. That's why the Juxans are somehow, yeah, just bouncing back from all of the drugs. He always gets an extra 50s worth of garlic. Imagine if the Juxon family, was wiped out in the plague.

What a sad world. Oh, no. A little fun one. The Tarnside cinema, of which the t-shirt I'm wearing. That was, um, opened in 1937 as kind of like just a news, show real cinema. Open by Ridley Scott's great-uncle Dixon Scott. Oh, wow. Interesting.

A really, you know, historic filmy background. I didn't know Ridley, I thought, for the longest time I thought Ridley Scott was America. No, he's, um, South Shields boy. Yeah, he was local. I thought you're going to say, I didn't know, Ridley Scott had a granddad. He would just sort of came into the world. He was just existed. cinema like a mascot like alien just landed he's an avatar isn't he yeah he's made in a lab

oh the northeast is also home to the i think britain's first serial killer female serial killer oh yeah mary ann cotton i think she's quite famous i tv did a series about a couple years ago she's called mary something yeah and she's thought to have murdered around 21 people over her years including three of her husbands and 11 children oh she's a poisoner wasn't she yeah So basically she'd take out insurance policies on our families. Like she'd move to a new village, find a guy, have some kids, take out insurance policy, then just kill them, taking the money and move from place to place.

Wow. That's psychopathic. It's a bit messed up, isn't it? Yeah. I didn't know she was from around here, I don't think. Yeah, she's in deep, deep Sunderland, like Washington area kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, she was found guilty by a jury in less than 90 minutes and was hanged.

Wow. It's quite nice, isn't it? Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah. It's really nice. Here's a fun one. Yeah? Captain Gladstone Adams, a Newcastle fan, was the inventor of the windscreen wiper.

Oh. So he was traveling down to Wembley, I believe, in like 1908. And he kept getting annoyed that he had to keep stopping his car to wash off the snow from his windmower. Right. And so when he got home, he got to work and invented the windscreen wiper, which was then released a couple of years later. So people used to drive long distances in all weather's without windscreen wipers. they're just literally probably fewer cars

right there's probably just one road I mean when you think about it like obviously they wouldn't have had an electronic device on the front of their car

back in the early 1900s but yeah like you would have thought there'd be some kind of manual thing that might have swept this you know like a stop and give it a mechanical lever weird

speaking of cars not being common then in the thing I copied it says it was such a novelty to see a car in those days that it was put into a car shore room window while he was visiting the match because so many people wanted to see it.

Wow. So he was an attraction in himself. Wow. And he went on to, you know, save us all. Save us from the nightmare of watery snowy goodness. Oh, I hate it. Jesus. I think this is, um, oh, no, my favorite one's next. I skipped over one.

Okay. The famous doomsday book, as I'm sure you're aware, was like, I think it was just basically a catalogue of the people and places of England. When they were going around and doing that book, they left out the northeast because they thought it was, it was classed as a wasteland. Wow. Oh, goodness.

So the North East isn't in the Doomsday book? Nope, they made their own one. It just doesn't exist. Yeah. So they made the room book about 100 years later where they put in all the information they wanted to put in. That's a great fact. Yeah, because it was a waste.

It was classified as a wasteland because William the Conqueror didn't take control the area. So it's not even worth it. Hadrian's always up here, right? Yeah, damn right. And they thought, no, I'm not good. No, just can't be bothered. No, mine.

This is, okay, this is my favorite fact. When Sunderland signed Swedish footballer, Stefan Schwartz in 1999, they included a bizarre space clause in his contract. Swartz was known to have an interest in space travel, and it reported that one of his advisors had secured tickets for the first passenger space flight due to take off in 2002. Worried about the safety and performance, the club to ban Schwartz from traveling into space. In his contract, it said, you are forbidden from traveling into space. Which is insane.

That would make you not want to play football for someone who didn't want to go to space. It was warned that doing so result in the immediate termination of his contract and Swartz ended up retiring in 2002 before any potential space flights became reality sadly. He never got to live his dream. Well now he can fly as Elon Muskie

and just do what he wants. Oh Musky boy. Yeah, Olmaski. I think he's like wherever he wants. What a terrible way to squash someone's dreams. There's a man coming over from Sweden and you say, no, you can't go to space. Sometimes there's things in your employment contracts

where it's like, you're not allowed to do that And, you know, although you've signed a legally binding document, you might just sort of have a sneaky little, you know, I'm trying to think of an example. Like, I'm a drink in the office or something. Yeah, something like that. Like, no one's in the office and you go, oh, I'm technically not allowed to, but I'll have a little sneaky.

Imagine sneakily going to space. Just don't tell anyone I'm on. Shh. Oh, I shouldn't have worn my Sunland shirt to space. Hang on, guys, it's Mike Ashley. Hang on. Yeah. Yeah.

Sh, guys, be quiet. Guys, can you turn off the thrusters? This is on control. Yeah. You know, I'm just up. I'm just at Debenhams. I'm just at Debenhams. Do you anything from Greggs?

Yeah, I'm just going to Gregg's. I'm watching Apollo 13. Warning, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's just someone just vaulted over the Gregg's counter. It's okay. God.

Those are some great facts. Thank you for those facts, Michael. That's all right. That's what I do. That is what you do. That's my thing. What I do. Jessica Smith.

At. Jessica Smith. No. St. What is that? Star. Star, right. Star, okay, so it's S-T-A-R-I.

Staria. Starry. Astoria? It might be Staria Elizabeth. There's an I, it isn't just an I and an A in there after Star. Jessica, let us know. Staria Elizabeth. Staria Elizabeth on Twitter.

Okay. Thank you, Jessica. St. Aria, Elizabeth. No, it's not that. Yes. I'm going to go on a load of job interviews soon, So here's my least favorite job interview question. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Personal note, thanks for all the last. My job is getting outsourced in Pottietz is a constant that has kept me grounded much love. Oh, bless you. Working for you is the best. No, it's not. I see myself in this role having successfully gone through this interview. Yeah. No, shut up. A very diligent hard worker.

Probably another job. I'm here to get paid, right? Yeah. If you pay me, I'll show up. Don't expect anything else from me. Where do you see yourself in five years? Because if you want to answer it in a job interview scenario, they want to see how you progress from the job you're being offered to where you want to go in the company.

God. God. I'm going to be God in five years. I see myself as God. Wow, I like his ambition. Arguably, I think the worst, or not so many the worst question, but the worst stupid answers that people give by trying to be clever is when you're asked, What's your biggest weakness to go?

Oh, you know, sometimes it's work too hard. You know, I can't switch off. I just love work. I stay at the office all the time. Oh, I'm a real perfectionist, you know. I can't move on until it's done perfectly. No, don't do. You're also a liar.

They know what you're doing by giving an answer like. Just be honest and say, I'll be honest, like, you know, I'm not that punctual. You know, sometimes I come in like five minutes late or... Yeah, because I're looking for honesty, though. Exactly, yeah. I move from village to village and I just kill all my... kill all my children.

Yeah, I do. It's a weakness of mine. Does anyone ever keep down a job for more than five years now? Does that, has that happened? Has anyone been employed for more than five years? In the world? Not continuously. That's just such a unheard of nowadays.

I worked for the service station for probably five years in total, but it was never full time. Yeah. And it was on and off. So I don't know. Yeah, I think longest I've had a job was Watt Culture in that was 92 years. The guys who are current, some of the guys at Watt Culture currently have been there for more than five years, I would say.

Yeah. Sorry, a name redundant. Yeah. So are we answering that question ourselves now? Yeah, and let's answer it sincerely. Five years, Matt, well, I'll be married by then. I hope you're married. Yeah, I hope you're married.

I don't think I want any children by then. Thank you. Yeah. I want to enjoy, like, because saving for a wedding is a nightmare. And before, before the, the saving for the wedding, there was only me working out of me and my fiancée, because she's been studying.

So basically, we've never, since we've been together, we've never had lows and loads of expendable income because it's either just been one of us earning or now that she's earning as well, we're both just putting it away for a wedding. So the way I see myself in five years is being married, not having children, and being able to just do fun things

with our combined income. Yay! That's what I'll be doing. That sounds nice. I'll be using contraception. Yay. That's what I'll be doing. I hope you won't because that's a sin in the eyes of the Jesus.

Married or not, you're a sinner. It's a sinner. Don't go near that stuff. Michael. I want my ferrets to reach triple digits in numbers. You want at least 100 ferrets. Well, I watched something on TV of a guy somewhere in England. He was eaten by his ferrets.

They decided this kibble's not enough for us. We're going to eat you, John. He ran a ferret rescue, and he had about 120. Ferryts and it was just literally like he lived in kind of a crap house I'm not going to be around the bush He spent his life dedicated to ferrets and so he had this land that was just all enclosures that he built for them and it was insane Was he happy? Yeah, he seemed it I think yeah You liked his ferrets so that's that's the path I want to go down I want to become the weird ferret man that no one who likes talking to Okay, I can train them to do fun things

Would you have shops for me? Because then I won't eat plastic bags if I give one item to each ferret Yeah, they can just all follow me behind and bring up my beans. Do you think you could bring them a butan? Do you think you would have to live in the country to do that though, like in order to have enough land? And also, you know, most landlords wouldn't let you have 100 ferrets in your house. Maybe I'd build my own tower block in a city centre.

I mean, that can't cost too much money. No, no, it's all right? Why don't you green screen the ferrets in? Into the world. Just into everywhere you go. Whoa. Wow, look, you imagine. Yeah, just take the six that you've got and then just copy and paste.

That's a tip into Photoshop, yeah, duplicate, bam, 12. What if you look at one and then you close your eyes, pick it up, move it to a different place, and open your eyes up, there's another ferret. Wow, that's another ferret. Right there. Just have a little... Turn it around, whoa.

Oh, it's a different ferret. A little paint brush with some like black non-toxic paint on and shut your eyes, put a dot on it and open your eyes. Oh, that's the one that's got one dot there, and then... Oh, and there's the two-spot one. I haven't seen the one in a while and just wipe it off. Oh, there you are. New ferret.

Immediately. Every time. It would be amazing. It's just a game changer. Ben? If we're talking professionally, I'd quite like triple jump to do well. Oh, yeah. That would be nice.

That would be really nice. Not that it's not doing well. I mean, like, I wanted to be a big success. I wanted to be something, you know, we're building something that was sadly cut short for us with idiots, but like I really think that we can do it with triple jump. And I really want pottyets to go from strength to strength as well. I think we've got a good thing here and I really enjoy it. And I know you guys do too and everybody listening or watching enjoys it.

And we want to make it as success. as well as possible. So that would be my aim. And then maybe owning a house would be nice. Owning my property instead of renting it. Because letting agents can fuck off. Fuck off. They're so bad.

I hate them. There's nothing I hate more than letting agents. Scurvy, not as bad as letting agents. If you're a letting agent, you best either stop listening or watching or go leave your job. They are useless. I've never had a deal. anything. They've got my job and they just don't do it. Like they're supposed to, you know,

look after your flat if there's a problem with it. And they usually paid by a landlord to do it. Yeah. They do the bare minimum. I don't know what they're being paid for. Other than when you move in and they obviously have to do some paperwork and physically give you the keys and stuff. After that, it's nothing. After that, yeah, like, you know, you contact them. And this is all letting agents that I've ever experienced. Yeah, me too. And say, hey, you know, there's a problem with the door or with the whatever. And they go, okay, yeah, we'll be right on that. that weeks later nothing i've i've had stuff that i moved in at the start of the year that i reported that's just never been fixed and so i've just documented all of it and i know that they're

going to try and find a way to charge me for it when i move out when i extended my lease i had to pay a fee really because i was going to give them more money so they wouldn't have to find a tenant now thankfully i think those fees are now illegal yeah but i bet that by the time i extend it again they will have found a way to charge the money yeah exactly it's such bullshit. It's, it's, they're, they're crooks. Yeah, they hate them. They do. When you move out of a place, they just look for things that they can charge, like take from your deposit. Yeah. And then that, the reason that that money exists for them to take at the end of the year is so that they can spend it on fixing the flat. But you know that they don't. Because every time you go into a new

flat, there's always something wrong. Yeah. Do you mind if like, there's a mark on that wall? And you're like, well, no, not really. But then when you move out, they go, there's a mark on that wall. There's a mark on the wall. We're going to take money so we can paint that wall. And you know that when the next tenant moves in, they won't have painted the wall with the money that you've given them. And they'll go, do you mind there's a mark on that wall? And they'll try and we're like, no, I guess not. I suppose not. Every flat I've moved into has had the previous tenants something or other just there. It's like, how? How is that not been thrown out by someone? Because they charge you to remove stuff as well. I don't get it. I don't understand. There was a chest of drawers of mine.

We had some chocolates left in the cupboards. That was quite nice. The oven was despicably it's filthy just covering a layer of crime I think to add value to our letting agents service they don't let us directly contact the landlord so they're a middleman so if we need anything we have to contact them

who then contact them they're just a bullshit middleman it's like if I want to get something fixed I can arrange to get a plumber sorted and I'll send you on the invoice that'd be so much easier because we've had a broken sink for two weeks bullshit

if you're in Newcastle living spaces is the worst letting agent I have ever experienced in my entire life and I was forced to go back with them when I moved back here and they're fucking awful. I thought maybe that improved and they were still, they gave me the wrong fucking keys. They gave me the wrong parking

space number and door entry I fucking hate, I hate the fact that they have a monopoly on the area that I lived in previously and wants to move back to. There's no one else there that's renting properties and I had to go with them again and I'm fucking furious. I can't remember the name of the one that I lived in last

because the one I'm with at the moment is the least bad that I've had so I'm not even going to name and shame but the one I lived before was they were just terrible so bad. So in five years we want we will not be dead. Not be yeah letting agents and yeah professionally my answer would

be yeah videotts and triple jump hopefully we'll go from strength to strength fingers crossed. I might still ferrets professionally you'll be a professional ferret man yeah yeah I've got a thing oh is it the thing oh my god

has brought a thing along I think a few you might know what this is it's been highly anticipated so this is the cursed one that slightly melted can I see it in real life I did bring it last time I showed it to you guys did you see I can't remember if we'd had a photo of it or just I would like to thank Andrew Bone

would you like to ride the bone train Morty at Link 220 for coming to the rescue so many so many tweets and messages since the since we talked about this initially of people saying Is this it? Is this it? Is this it? And it's not. Because it's called Rosie and Jim and the Tickle Monster. Not Rosie and Jim, a collection of stories. So, no, it's not that. Thank you. Stop. But Andrew Bone, would you like to ride the Bone Train Morty, has provided a ripped audio version of part two.

Here's a synopsis. Released in 1993, Rosie and Jim and the Tickle Monster is an audio cassette tape that features an original story starring podcast. popular British children's characters, Rosie and Jim, two haunted ragdolls who live aboard a narrow boat called the ragdoll and who go on adventures. Sorry, no, what? Sorry, hello? What? What did you just say?

I said two regular rag dolls who live aboard a narrow boat called the ragdoll and go on adventures. Rest in peace, Fisgog. Rest in peace, rip Fisgob. We covered the first side of the tape on episode 22 last year, if you want to bone up. Would you like to ride the bone train, Morty? Wherein various nursery rhyme favorites

had their iconic items mysteriously stolen by the eponymous, Tickle Monster, accompanied by a spooky whistling noise. However, rather appropriately, after years of being stored in direct sunlight, the tape warped and had become misshapen, resulting in an unplayable B-side of this cursed tape. The rest of the story was lost until now. And this is, the B-side is the important side, because the whole reason we ever got talking about this in the first place

is Ben mentioned it on either a previous podcast or a video that we did at Vidiot. and you said that there's a spooky... It's just creepy. There's some spooky goings on. It's just a really creepy story. I used to listen to it in the bath, which was like weirdly appropriate because I was splashing around in the bath

and then they're going up and down on the rag doll. Just with the lights off, just a dark bath. Yeah, just to get in the atmosphere, be Rosie and Jim. I used to be the rag doll in the bath. You ever go in the water? You can be a rag doll. You should try it next time you can.

You can be the rag doll. Oh, the ragdoll. Yeah, Fisgol comes in the rides. As in the boat. I thought you meant, like the, because they're rag dolls as well, they themselves. If you jump downstairs, you can be a ragdoll. Yeah. It does the same thing.

Okay, so this is kind of complicated because last time I was able to plug my phone directly into the recorder. This time, I've got my laptop. I've got the clips. I'm going to play them loud. And hopefully they come through okay, but I'll listen in the editing if I need to put the clips in after the fact that I just paste them over the time. But I'm, I am, uh, I'm, um, I'm, I'm really. reading and then playing the clips immediately afterwards. So hopefully I don't play the wrong clip.

Hopefully it doesn't go wrong. But I'm going to do my best because we're doing a video version so I can't cut out awkward silences. Are we ready? Yes. Here we go. We immediately hear from the tickle monster

as rosy spots a pervert in the bush. There it is. Look, what's wrong with that bush over there? It's all shaking. and shivering, and it's all just moving. What? It wants me to tie my arms behind my back. Can you zip me up, man?

You zip us up, son. Oh. Ignoring all child endangerment laws, the pair approached the bush in attempt to identify the pervert. Hello! Who's in that bush? Nobody.

We can see you, nobody. You can't. I'm... I'm in the bush. And we can see your shivering. Well, well, I'm cold. We can see that. And we can see your nice hat.

It's a nightcap hatch. So he's cold, seemingly wearing only a nightcap cap. Is it we, Willie Winky? Do you have any guesses who he is? Is it Wimmy? Small Dick Wilkins. Well, I've actually got another one written here. It's Wee-Wilton Wilkinson, of course.

What the fuck? It's him. Let's listen in. We can see your hats. Listen in as Rosie and Jim mock the freezing naked man with a song. Wee Willie Winky runs through the town. Upstairs and downstairs in his night gown. That's about you that rhyme, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. It was. I used to be Wee Willie Winky. but I'm not anymore. Big Willy-winky. That's why whenever that tickly noise happens,

something always seems to go wrong. And this time, something awful has gone wrong. Hang on. Have they taken his nightgown? It's my nightgown. He is naked. The tickle-man.

Monster has stripped Weewee Wilson Wilkinson of his actual clothes. Hang on, so these two children have gone up to a bush and there is a naked man in there. Yes. Yeah. Shivering. Oh, no. Rosie, the master of subtlety, presses for clarification. You're what?

My nightgown. He's lost his nightgown gist. Rosie. Rosie. Sorry. Yes, I've lost my nightgown. That's ominous There's that noise again

But just how cold is wee-wee Wilson Wilkinson Let's find out I'm wee-willy-winky with nothing to wear I'm wee-willy-winky But I'm completely there Don't worry, we'll help you find your nightgown You stay in this nice warm bush And don't worry because

because Rosie and Jim will find your nightgown for you. Oh dear, I do hope so. I do miss my lovely old nightgown. Oh, sure he does. We Willie Winkie, they only read the first two lines of the poem there. It gets creepier because the second two lines are, rapping at the window, shouting through the lock. Are the children all in bed?

It's almost 8 o'clock. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? Why does he want to know if the kids are in bed? Why is he looking through people's windows naked? He's got a lot to answer for, for sure. But for now, the game is a full. It's time to find that nightgown. But on their travels, Rosie and Jim encounter a strange snoring man.

Oh no. In the interest of time, I've edited this clip down, so you can hear the sheer amount of times they reuse the same clip. See if you can tell which one it is. Oh, oh my head. Oh. Listen, Jim. What's that?

Oh, oh my head. Oh, God. He just bumped his head, Rosie. Oh, oh my head. Oh, me head. I know who it is. Let's sing his song. Oh, yes.

It's raining. It's pouring. The old man is snoring. He bumped his head against the bed and couldn't get up in the morning. Hello. Oh, me head. That voice actor, they got the money's worth there, didn't it? It's just Rosie and Jim doing all the voices.

Yeah, it's just those things because sometimes Jim doesn't speak for a while. I've cut out a lot of the pregnant pauses but there are some very pregnant pauses in this where clearly Jim is going and then just go yes I'm a different character now and sometimes Jim just won't speak for a while and he'll just be talking to Rosie

so Jim discovers that the O'Me Head man is wearing the nightgown oh I'm still trying to wrap my head around the physics of what Jim suggests as a solution in this next clip let me know what you think Oh, oh, me head. Oh, no, he'll never get up if he keeps bumping his head like that.

I know, mercy. Let's put this nice, comfy, bouncy pillow. There, under his head. And we won't bump it anymore. Yeah. Oh, oh, me head. So that's what I don't understand, because is he, like, perfectly straight? And then he's, when he wakes up, his head goes,

down and he bumps his head. Surely it's a... Is he not already sleeping on a pillow? Therefore, there is one on the back of his head already. Now, I realised the implications of putting a pillow over his head would be smothering him. But... You could put one on the bed.

What's he bumping his head on? The wooden bit of the bed. I assumed he was waking up and hitting his head on something above. Yeah, me too. So that's where you would put the pillow. But they put a pillow under his head. So he's just sleeping on, like, the floor, I guess. And like, we're just sleeping under the bed.

We're just learning a lot about this man for some reason. it does work and the man wakes up presumably for the first time of years which is actually really scary to think about. They then strip him of the nightgown somehow, return it to Weewee Wilson Wilkinson and head

on their merry way. Does that mean the guy in the bed's now naked? Sure. Yeah. So now they've got another naked man. They've made, we're still at a negative loss of people being

closed. God, that was a hard sense. I didn't even know where my brain was going with that one. Okay, next clip. Quick, Rosie, get that nightgown. Yeah, I've got it. Come on, Jim. We're Willie Winky. Coo-wee!

Look what we've got. Yeah, look what we've found. Found. Just stripped it from a man. Jim, what's that baby doing up in that tree? I don't know, Rosie. That baby is a sleep. sleep in a cradle, Rosie.

And now they're going to steal the baby's clothes and give it to the man who's bumping his head. Where it's possible, but there's a baby in a tree, in a crib. Yeah. Can you see where this is going? Rocker-bye baby. In the tree top. Okay, here we go.

Wait. Oh, no, Rosie, it's that noise again. That's the baby, Rosie. Oh, hang on, man on. Oh, shit. I caught the baby, Jim. I'm glad they came along. I caught the cradle.

Yes. You didn't even wake up that baby. That's right. The tickle monster attempted infanticide, and the stakes have never been higher. Hang on. Jim caught the cradle, so it made the tree disappear. I mean, there were branch noises, is what I don't understand. I'm very confused.

I assumed at the cradle had vanished. But then, yeah, she caught the cradle. But there were still noises of tree branches, so I don't understand. Well, maybe that... No, the tree disappeared. That's the only logical way to look at that. Well, the tickle monster tried to kill a baby, but thankfully the baby's fine and still asleep. So, after seeing a nursery rhyme,

the pair reflect on their busy and successful day. We did it, Chip? Yes, we did it, Rosie. Miss Nufflet's got her spider back. And her cousin, way, don't forget. Don't forget that one. She's got his wall back. We will only when he got his night gown so he can run through.

What a sex pest. Oh, Jim, we've worked very hard. Yes. Everything's all right, Posey. Oh, that's quite nice. Is it fuck? Oh no. Oh no.

Oh, I don't think everything's all right, Jim. I hope nothing else has gone wrong. Maybe Duck knows what that noise is. Yes. Let's ask duck. Does duck, yeah. Duck? Duck.

Duck? Duck. Duck. Where are you? Duck. Jimmy must be hiding. He's not. The inanimate duck that's constantly nailed to the ragdolls.

Oh, I don't think everything's all right, Jim. I hope nothing else is gone rogue. Maybe Duck knows what that noise is. Yes, let's ask Duck. Yeah, Duck. Duck? Duck, where are you? Duck!

Jimmy must be hiding. Yeah, I think so. I did. Let's try that again. Duck, where are you? Duck! Rosie, you don't think... Yes, Jim, I do.

I think... I think something's happened. To our duck. Oh, we can't be Rosie and Jim without our duck. Can they not? I don't know that they can. They then sing a song about how sad they are that they've lost duck. I'm not going to play it because it's really sad.

Oh no. But then... Wow. Rosie, listen. Yeah, listen, Jim. You see that? Dark, dark tidal there. Yeah.

Yes, Jim. Well, I think duck is down that dark, dark tunnel, Rosie. What choice do they have? You've got to go. You've got to go and rescue duck. They simply must. Into the dark tunnel they go. No.

Rosie, it's very dark in this dark, dark tunnel. Taddle. I know. It's so dark, I can't even see you, Jim. Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wharf! Fortunately, we could just follow that noise.

Dark! They're on the right track then, even if it is scary and dark. Rosie and Jim attempt to hype themselves up with a song, but all the excitement proves a bit too much for poor Jim. Oh. You all ready for this? That's the wrong one.

Sorry, that's the wrong one. That's the wrong one. That's the wrong one. I'm really sorry. Jim. I'm really sorry. No, that's the wrong one. They should scream and shout. We'll get duck out.

But brave rag dolls don't cry. Well, some rag dolls might cry. It's all right, Jim. A bit scared, Rosie. It's okay. Come on. It's okay. It's okay.

Come on. Come on, dear. It's going to be her all along. She's the tickle monster. I mean, she's all right. Come on. One of them's voicing the tickle monster. But they also appear to be getting closer to the source of the whistling sound.

So naturally, Rosie just insults it. It makes lots and lots of things go wrong. I wish it would go wrong. Yeah. Oh. God, you know. Watch that thing over there. Don't worry, Jim.

It's just a monster. Oh, yeah. It's just a monster. Oh, it's just a monster. Super casual, then. Super Caj. After demanding safe passage to duck, the tickle monster has other ideas.

Are you ready to hear it speak? Oh, my God. No. Are you ready to hear the tickle monster speak? Here we go. I think it's going to... Oh, it's cozy. I think it's going to...

Pickle you. Oh, no. I can't stop tickling. Get off. Oh no, we'll never find out. Oh, my God. Oh, she's just cut off. And then they both die.

We'll never find out. The end. That's it. That's it. That's my thing. Just joking. No. They actually become like the baby Jesus

and appear to run on water because it sounds like they're in a tunnel with water in it. Yeah. And then there's some sound effects that don't really back that up in this clip here. Quick nose you right away! I don't really understand.

I think they're in like a cobbly like canal tunnel. Like there's tunnels under canals and stuff. Yeah, where I grew up. I thought they were on the ragdoll. I thought they were on the ragdoll going through the tunnel. I'm not sure. Oh, that's true. None of this is really made clear

if they're on the boat or not. But if duck's there, duck doesn't have legs, does it? It's affixed to the boat. So I don't really know. There's just all sorts of holes in this story, guys. I mean, Fisgog drove the boat, though. I don't think they're able to drive the ragdoll. I think they might be on foot personally, yeah.

My picture it was like a big, like, cement tunnel that just kind of going deeper and deeper into, like it. I prefer to subscribe to the theory that they're Jesus children. Okay, yeah. So they're growing on water. Yeah, we can go for that. I'd ask that you respect that in this difficult time. But the tickle monster isn't too far behind. And while I am not one to kink shame, none of us are.

I am. I did think it a little odd that Rosie had two so-called ticklers in her bag all ready to go. I'm coming! Hey, monster, do you know what these ticklers are for? Um, no. You really don't know what these ticklers are for? Um, no, you, you can't tickle me here. That's not fair.

The tickler becomes the tickle-ee. They tickled the tickle monster with-fire with fire. With Rosie's ticklers. Got him. And I'd now like to submit evidence to the trial of Rosie and Jim that supports my client's accusations regarding cruel and unusual punishment. They are violating the Eighth Amendment

to the United States Constitution and should be thrown in jail forever. Tick-ch-ch-chick-ch-tick-ch-tick-tick-tick-lick- When something keeps tickling that you don't know what? Ooh, who keeps on giggling. Ha ha ha! Then you've probably been got by the rosy tickler. And the two.

Dikadikas, diga, diga, diga. Oh, stop, please. It's a bit of a cacophony, isn't it? It's really horrible. After enduring hours of torture, the tickle monster eventually breaks. So they literally tortured the tickle monster until they got what they want. Tell us where duck is.

We won't stop tickling you until you tell us where our duck is. Great, please stop. Oh, I'll tell you. He's in a dark, dark box. What's in the box? Rosie, I can hear duck. In the dark, dark tunnel was a dark, dark box.

And in the dark, dark, dark box. And in the dark, dark, dark, The box was a... Woozah! Weir! Duck! It's duck. Having rescued Duck,

the music plays on and our heroes live to fight another day. The actual end. Oh my God, it took how many months? Well, episode 22. Oh God, it was like

maybe September last year. Holy October last year. This was nearly a year. It was nearly a year. Well, that was very disturbing. I'm just glad that the one thing that didn't happen was that, I mean, you had a false memory, right, that Jim disappeared at one point. I thought one of the ragdolls was abducted in the tunnel. And Rosie just walked along by herself.

That was, for some reason, in my brain. Thankfully, it was just the stupid duck. Just by herself singing, Rosie and, Rosie and, Rosie and, rolling along on the floor. Because I'm not in a boat. There we are Wow That's the conclusion I hope it was worth the weight

Absolutely it was I know it's been a long old time We've got one last question Before we wrap up here This comes to us From Rui the Red Panda At Rui Red Panda What would your fosonas be

Ooooooooo? Oh no I'd be a crow Oh crow Okay fair enough I don't I like the obvious answer for me is ferret but I feel like that would just be described. I couldn't look at my ferrets the same again.

Exactly. I couldn't look at you. Like, I don't want to pick my face. Like, I like me foxes, but I definitely don't want. I love my foxes. We all love our foxes. All of our foxes. But I would not want to dress in a big furry,

yeah, furry fox suit. It would just ruin foxes for me forever. Does anyone ever had a pug fauna? I might just do that just so I can be, I want to have the first fosona of an animal. Yeah. No, I got to be. How about, I was going to say worms is almost certainly being a worm one, isn't it?

And that's not really furry, is it? That's kind of the point. Bees, bumble bees are furry. Yeah, bees are furry. Yeah, that's, first I want it as a bee, and I will pollinate everyone. I think I'd just go all in. Like, if I was going to have to be a fessona, I'd want to be a really sexy one. So I can't like...

Really sexy one. Have you seen the clip of the one in the bath that's been going around? No. Just wearing the full fur suit and it's filmed first person. It's just their legs going out and the, extending into the bath, and then sort of wobbling their feet back and forth, and all the furs. Like waving around. It's just waving around.

Yeah. It takes so long to dry. dry. Oh, it's pretty, pretty gross. Oh, God. I'd be something, yeah, something really sexy, like, uh, oh, a peacock. Oh, Pete's cock. A Pete's cock. If you want a bit of Pete's cock. Yes. Come to fur cold ways. 20, sure. An offshoots of YodCon.

We'll be doing that. Mikey, if you dress as a bee, yeah, if you accidentally bump into someone who's behind you, will you die? Yeah. I have the stinger and like, as the stinger gets pushed in, it injects a serotonin, this. Serotonin. Oh, not serotonin.

I'm having a great time. It'll inject something into me and I will eventually die. I just think that's my authentic. You're flying outside the hive. You're talking to humans. Stealing.

Well, thank you so much everybody for listening and watching this episode of Poddites. We're just about to record another one immediately afterwards, which will be out in a couple of weeks. Speaking of Pod Squad,

as we did at the start of the show, the people who submitted the money before, the donations, Before this episode, half of it's going to be in the next episode. And then anyone who does it between this episode and the next episode, it will be in the episode after that, and then it'll be regular. I hope that that makes sense.

So thank you very much to our pod squad for this week, including The Real Michael B, the Farwell, Shagger Returns, David Lever, Luke, Princess Carla Love, Emily Lemons, Mr. Mrs. Maconi, and Top Shagga Bump-Piss for your very kind donation. Emily Lemons is a good name. Emond's. Also, The Real Michael B. That's him. Oh, that be good.

That's my phone name. Michael Bonson. If you would like to be in the pod squad, you can do so, streamlabs.com forward slash vidiates official. Will you get a shout out? And we'll really appreciate it. We'll love you long time very much.

Thank you very much. Store.orgscast.com is another place you can support it if you'd like to buy some machandise. I'm wearing, I'm the only person wearing. Yeah, we're all fair because... I've got my hoodie out there, but I'm not wearing it. Don't believe him. It's not true.

If it's not here, it doesn't exist. As we all know from the ferret. I think there's a discount code, Michael. Damn right. You're called Vidiots at checkout for 10% of everything on the Oggscaste or anything. That could be the Niche-Luminati shirt, but me really just use it to buy everything on us. Winning in your shirt, we keep talking about your shirts. Yeah, I'm playing about with a design idea at the minute.

And when that comes out, you can use code Vidiots for 10% off. I'll just do it right now. Yeah, yeah, please. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash Vidiates official. dot TV forward slash Idiots official In literally an hour and 45 minutes We've got to get another podcast done

We're going to be going live on Twitch So it will be in the future when this episode comes out But if you'd like to watch our Vod back We're all three of us together And I bet we had a great time Oh, what time was had Thank you for coming and watching As we all did together as a group

YouTube.com forward slash team triple jump These very offices is where Peter and I are based on a weekly basis we do all sorts of stuff, don't we, Peter? We do. We do some old familiar idiot shows. Like, we basically do a piece of cake, but it's now just called Rules Boss. We do worst games ever, of course.

We now do prove it as well. Yeah, it's all kinds of fun things. And we do a video game podcast there, which is... Oh, that's a point. I ask for questions for this show. Stop asking video game questions. If you would like the next best thing I realize, it's not got all three of us in,

but it is actually a video game podcast. The Triple Jump podcast is a video game podcast. please go and support that. This one isn't. It was just talking nonsense for a hour. It's a Rosian Jim kind of podcast. It's a Rosie and Jim. Fancast.

Yeah. Mike, I. What are you working on, mate? I think, well, as of right now, I'm going to TwitchCon next week, but that will have passed by a time as podcast goes out, I believe. So if anyone happens to see me out in San Diego, say hi, but I doubt it. I'm there for work. And that's what I'm doing right now.

And you can follow me on Twitter at Paraboy for the usual stream of shit posts. Wonderful. Finally, please leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of church. It helps something to do

with algorithms. Alan Gore's rhythms. Also, if you happen to see that there are any podcast award nominations open, just nominate us. Why not? We deserve some more trophies.

Yeah, let us know if you've nominated us for something because then we can tell everyone else to... We'll do some signal boosting. Guys, what's a secret question for the audience at home? What's the scary

nursery rhyme, because that sounded like such a horrible dystopian world. They're walking along and there's just a baby in a tree. I never really thought about Rockabai baby. What's the... Do we have an origins of that? I think what you should do, homework for everyone at home, go read some nursery rhymes and put like spooky music on the background and do it in like a really haunting voice. I think that'll change the how it feels. Yeah, even some of the happy ones, you know? Let's see what Rockabody. Oh, that's a nice illustration. Wow, originate in 1765. Wow. One theory suggests the rhyme narrates a mother gently

rocking her baby to sleep as if the baby were riding the treetops during a breeze. Then when the mother lowers the baby to her crib, the song says, down will come baby. Another identifies the rhyme as the first English poem written on American soil, suggesting it dates from the... Boring. Oh.

Why would you say when the bow breaks? Surely you would just say, like, when the baby is asleep, it will slow... Yes, another theory is that the song is based around a 17th century ritual that took place after a newborn baby had died. That's what you were after, Peter? Right. There we go.

That's the answer we wanted. Yeah, it goes into more detail. but it is upsetting, so we won't talk about that anymore. Something about scary nursery rhymes. Go on, just something about it. Go on, which one scared you? Do it. Information.

Thank you so much for watching and listening, everybody. Kevin's in his box, but fortunately, I can hear the music. He just knows it's time. I can just open it from... Yeah, go fetch Kevin. It's very muted at the moment. Take him up. Oh, there we go.

There's the sound. There's the sound. Thank you so much, everybody. We will be back. in a couple of weeks time and take care until then. Bye!