Podiots - Podiots: Episode 47 - Flat Arm

Episode Date: March 10, 2020

Peter's got a scribble-baby, Mikey hears from pen pal Ben Franklin, and Ben has had a bed accident. Donate to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/vidiotsofficial New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Maybe it's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had childhood stories or memories. Yeah, we're around either watching these commercials on TV

or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us. Maybe it's Vablellane. Maybe it's Vapelaine. Because of what... Hello? Hello. Sorry. What was that? Who was that?

I don't know. What way did that come? Someone's jumping on our Discord call. Weird. Some sort of Osman. Osmond? Wizard of Osmond. Oh, I thought it meant Richard Osmond.

Yeah. Richard Osmond. Yeah. Could be him I think I'd see him though He's big, isn't he? Oh, big boy You're a tall man

Is he big? He is big, isn't he? He's very tall Yeah, I think he's very tall Richard Osmond I've only really seen him In Murder and Successville Oh, of course

He's very good in that Oh, I love that show Actually yeah, I started watching it A couple of weeks ago And oh my God, it is thoroughly amazing Yeah It is really, really So fucking good

I wish there was more improv On TV than I mean, I think they actually tried to launch a new improv show a little bit like whose line is it anyway on British TV

like last year or something and it just didn't really go anywhere which was a shame that is a shame I like watching that stuff the play that goes wrong is getting a lot of getting a lot of air time

it seems currently by meaning to watch that that thank you for reminding me I've seen that I saw that it was a birthday present for me and Amy we both got tickets or Christmas present it was really good It's so funny.

I remember you telling me that's how I found out about it and then it seems that they're doing so well they're on the television now. Yeah, good for them, I'm proud. Yeah. It can't just go silent, can it? I mean, I was sort of waiting to hear how tall Richard Osmond was.

Oh, sorry, he's 2.01 meters. Wow. Two meters. Two meters in feet. It's well over six feet. Six and a half feet, yeah. 6.5 feet. Well over 6 feet, 6 and a half feet.

That's well over, though. Yeah, it is, yeah. If you round up, he's seven feet tall. Wow. True. If you round that, he's 10 feet tall. No. Oh, my God, if you round that up, he's infinity tall.

Oh, my God. Bloody hell. Have we got contingency plans to stop him? No, I don't think so. Well, what do we do? Well, you've been planning on, you know, being fast, going fast. Richard Osmond's being tall. I think it's time for a fight.

Is it? Oh, my God. Well, I just thought I would just run away, really, I mean that works too He's got a very long stride Ben It's true It kind of bounces out Yeah

I don't know if I can box with God But can I race God He's like the man out of the Simpsons With the car The tall man Do you find something amusing About my vehicle It's a zony vehicle

I could afford Great Well we did that Should we do a music Let's do a music Let's do it Hello everybody and welcome to Pottie. It's the official...

Oh. Vidiates. Ah. Podcast. Oh. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three... where everybody brings... Othing along to talk about.

I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. what's up boys what's up boys what's up boys talk to me as it hanging it's well good it was a really good three o's that we just did there i think i liked them where it was nine oars technically yeah well i think it probably was yeah it made me feel a bit dirty i know yeah i don't like i've got a weird courting in my throat now i feel like i shouldn't have done that oh oh oh sad ghosts that's what that noise is

I think most ghosts are sad, aren't they? I don't know. Well, how about a teenage ghost that's been told it needs to clean up its room? Oh, mum, so unfair. Brilliant. I think we did it. We bloody did it. That sounds like Harry Enfield as a ghost.

Yeah, it was a bit Kevin, wasn't it? Anyway, welcome to our comedy podcast. We used the term comedy very loosely, of course. Yeah. However, if you would like to support this nonsense, and actually to put it into context, these wonderful people who have financially decided to support Poddietz, which is a fortnightly podcast, I don't know if you need that. We actually use that money to cover the cost of our Podbean subscription.

Podbean is our podcast platform where we upload and schedule and can look at all the stats and stuff, and it lets us deliver our nonsense. dot MP3 right into your ear holes and brains and it costs money surprisingly and that's the kind of thing that we that we're able to put these donations towards but if you donate you're not just a donator you're a member of Pod Squad and that is exciting why is it exciting I'm glad you asked Michael and or Peter it means that you get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast and you know what value you get you a special,

but you don't get, for legal reasons, I need to tell you, you don't get a special badge, but you get an imaginary badge that goes on your chest and it says pod squad boy or girl. Also for legal reasons,

it's worth pointing out that your donation may be refunded if the name that you put on your donation is something along the lines of fucking mocks. Yeah.

You know who you are? Yeah, we had one through that was, it was a bit much for me. It was just a bit much for me. We all love the funny names, but someone. took it too far and that person got a

refund receipt so they know who it was speaking of fun names are you boys ready for some fun names yes give me the name it's my favourite favourite part now

yeah just having to try and pronounce these names are you ready here we go a bag full of drugs big daddy sausage finger Jason Steerson nice Samuel de Barber of Saville who donated a hugely generated a hugely

generous amount of money so much I'm going to read the message that goes along with it Ladd long time away although I try to keep up with the vids falling asleep to main menu makes for interesting dreams recently got accepted to university and thought I'd get this in before UCD takes all my monies lads

you three are grand cheers oh thank you Samuel no your grand no your grand yeah big titty Jesus 42 scrum bumble pompily dopes this one there and another ridiculous donation from sugar chuff who says you guys consistently make my drive to and from work so much

more enjoyable loving all your work triple jump is ace mike dressing up as wallace and farting 74 times is insane all power to you boys i'm glad i'm empowering people with my farts and white face yeah yeah hashtag whiteface i wonder if you're still a uh a top rated result on whatever it was sexy farts dot com sexy farts yeah sexy farts Yeah, I think the gas provider still talks about me to this day. Yeah. I'm his ultimate dream sexy boy. Marlene.

Michael John's son. Hey. During dinner minge. Oh. Faster than Ben. Funny name underscore Lord Bratovic. The walnut winkle. Fantastic Mr. Fuchs.

Kitty hawk. Armin's frozen peas. Big Titty Jesus, 42. Six large strong trestle tables. Oh, nice. Love a good trestle. Also a generous day. donation. Thank you, boys, for being an ever-shining beacon in a dullard's life.

Well, not true. Not true. You're clearly not a dullard. You're remember a Pod Squad now. We jock Poupong McPlop. Peter's tentacle porn. That's Dave on Porn Hub. Big Titty Jesus 42. Again, going crazy. Tiny Peter bathroom Olympian. Michael Wallace gave me PTSD. Ben's grandma. A giant octopus in Peter's room. Michael dommed by a bedbug Owoo This you Owo phobe

I don't know what that is Al Gore's rhythms Known racist Mel Gibbon Simon Miller Light sexy sexy bedbug Frederick Sucker Dick Prince Beef cakes Brian's mystery meat face

One jiff Oh good Fulton the Pussy Killer One Jif sorry Can we just that's a good reference Oh, one jiff, I laughed over that one. Yeah, one jiff. Good.

In there. Nice. Oh, God, here we go. Plip Plap Cadillac Whipwap is one. Call me Alks. Big Titty, supportive, goth, G.F. Oh, nice. Emily Lemons.

Mike Hunt from the Discord. Ami D'A Sange, who's expecting a baby, very exciting. Oh, congratulations, Emmy. Daddy Michael suck my toes. Haywood Jabloomy. Billy Taurus Walrus. Stephen Scodes. Wibbly Wobbly Woo.

Pod squads, gods, nod rod. God. Rebecca the 42nd awesome fox. Chafing ramhole. Oh, wow. Rapidge, greaselage, greasel. Andrew Stinson, Elbaker 97, you can grommet my Wallace, Ben. Doc Dickington, fuck them kids.

Crispy Hoisoned Pizza and Haddy Emnor. Aw. Well, there we go. Jesus. Thank you to everyone. You're so interesting and amazing. Imagine Ben, as a child, when your mother turned to you and said, you need to get a hobby or something to be more interesting. Imagine if you had the pod squad to donate to back then and become the world's most interesting man. The world's most interesting man.

I mean, arguably, I've peaked now because I can read things like Doc Dickington. True, actually, yeah. Wibbly Wobbly Woo. Yeah, you're like the podmaster. I am. I am the podmaster. Thank you very much to all of you, very generous and amazing people. We'll shout you out again. at the end of the show.

Over to you, Tiny Peter. I am Question Master today. I brought some questions from the fans who have submitted them on Twitter. Firstly, I would like to officially apologise to Bjorn Q, who I forgot to name drop in the previous podcast. The final question, I never got round to actually saying who had submitted it. So thank you, Bjorn.

Thank you, Bjorn. For that question. Thanks, Bjorn. Thank you, Bjorn. Question number one for today comes from Gaseous Snake at I Did a Long Pooh. Oh, good, good, good. Good, good. Good, solid name. Gacius Snake asks, what's your favorite thing that you guys did whilst at the Yogs cast?

Oh, God. Now, I think this is a question we've had on triple jump before, on like a stream or something, but I don't know if we've talked about it on the podcast, on Podios. I just think the entire concept of idiots has this weird contained mess with a random fucking piece of law like we joined the Yogscast and we said no we're not just become a let's play channel

we're going to become something very different and very fucked up and I'm proud of us for doing that god damn yeah no definitely the fact that we have a YouTube channel now where we can upload videos of us eating Twixis and its content is something I'm proud of it's content and it's part of the Yogs cast network.

Yeah. It is still officially part of the Ogscast network, yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. God.

I mean, if I was to think literally in terms of things that being at the OXCast allowed us to do, I'd say that

Tomb Raider thing was so much fun. Oh yeah. And the fact that it was shot like an actual TV show as well where we could go home with it,

you know, and then upload it to the channel. That's cool. I like that. It was like an episode of Jungle Run. but all about us. My favourite bit of that was, like, before we went into the room,

we had to do a little piece to camera and talk about, you know, how excited we are to do it. I'm pretty sure everyone else did it in one take, but they gave us three takes to do ours, and they still went for the first take. I don't know what they wanted from us. Yeah. No, it was weird.

I mean, they probably wanted, you know, typical Instagram person. Like, hey, guys, I'm here at the Tomb Raider Experience. Let's have fun. And instead, they got three men grunting and screaming about. They got the idiots, basically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It was early days, but we knew what our style was. We did, yeah. No, I definitely, I mean, yeah, like, I think Michael's answer is as good as any in that, you know, the overall, the fact that we just did, you know, a kind of, I think someone once described as, it's like Dick and Dom and da Bungalow, but they can say cunt.

Yeah. Something like that. The fact that we just did that in general across the entire year was great. But if I had to pick a specific thing, I really liked most if not all of the Prove It Live Action Challenges that we did I really liked the R1 I thought that was quite a good video The cooking

Basically any any live action content that we did there I thought was all really good stuff Because they were always these kind of weirdly scrabbled together things With whatever we could find for cheap or free in the office We just made it work didn't we Everything we did we just made it work Hey remember when we were dressed as nights and we jumped into my car and drove to the beach.

Oh my God, yeah. It got complex to the end, didn't it? It did, yeah. It did. God bless. That was good. I liked that. I did enjoy going to Dunster to film.

Just because it had a castle. That was the only reason. And it was like, what are we learning from this prove it? Yeah, we reverse engineered the prove it around the fact that. We did. We reverse engineered a lot of content. Right. So we've got a castle.

What are we going to do? I don't know. It was just something. Just fucking. What's a medieval game? Medieval games? Right, so we've been sent two giant rolls of bubble wrap.

What are we going to do? Well, I've got a car. Oh, fantastic. Yeah. Yeah, there was a lot of that. Well, very good. Good times. Good times had by all. I'm pooped.

Okay, thanks, Peter. You get a nap. We've got another question right here from... I think it's... It might be AMI. It's AMI, but there is a bearded man in the... Is it Ami Desanj?

It is Ami Desanj. Oh, wow. It's the one who's expecting a bebebe. Ami de Sange is expecting a babi. At Ami de Sange on Twitter says, What's your most unpopular opinion? Oh, dearie me. Man, I don't know.

I like to think of myself as someone who doesn't hold very controversial opinions, apart from sort of petty personal taste things. Like, I don't like the idea of pineapple on pizza. Oh, my God, crazy, right? Yeah. I don't know. But is there any, like, I mean, something that springs to mind for me,

and I don't even know if this, I don't think this isn't even an impopular opinion anymore, but like, you know, in terms of pop culture things that are critically acclaimed and loved by most people, I just don't get friends at all You've got loads of friends, man Yeah, I know I just don't get them though

They don't stay But I think friends is actually I think people looking back on it It's slightly less popular now than it used to be I think there's still a massive fan base for it But I've definitely noticed a bit of a change in the trend On social media Where people have said

Oh yeah friends was Yeah, it wasn't actually that good, was it? But I think still for the most part, people liked it. And I never did. I think that's a sign of a younger population, though, because as far as I know, everyone who likes friends didn't start watching it like three years ago. They watched it as a kid when it was on.

I think a lot of that holdovers from that. No, you're right. That is the case. That's my controversial opinion. You're all young if you don't like friends. I think you're right, though. But yeah, I, you know, I've never really, I never really liked it. But then, I guess there aren't that many American sitcoms,

especially with canned laughter, that I do enjoy. So it's probably not just friends, but that's just probably the most popular one. Peter. Yeah. Scenario for you. Mm-hmm. You go to bed tonight. Yeah.

You wake up on the famous, the world famous, friends sofa. Oh, yeah. And Rachel walks in. and she says oh hi peter are you ready to do 90s things with me today and you're like well i mean i'm engaged i don't know if i can do that and she says no silly ross is ross my my close friend and your close friend too will be here soon and we're going to go to the coffee shop where we live and live in a coffee shop and do this is my understanding of friends i haven't really seen it um Correct me if I'm wrong. We're going to go to the coffee shop and we're all going to hang out.

Joey's going to be there and he's going to talk about the big audition that he did for the sex cream. That's the thing. That was the story, right, Michael? Yeah, that was it. Yeah. Chandler's going to be there. He's so sarcastic. You are not going to like him. Oh, Superintendent Chandler. Superintendent Chandler is going to be there. You've also got, you know, the strange one who seems like a absolute nightmare to be. be around. Phoebe's going to be there. Yeah, and you've also got a little bit of, the smelly cat one. Yeah, we all love smelly cat, don't we? Phoebe, the smelly cat, yeah. Yeah. That was, that was fun.

That was a fun thing. And you were there for it as one of the friends. And of course, there's also a little bit of moniker as well. Of course, in my life. Now, there's the door. And then she looks at you dead in the eyes. Her pupils dilate so much that her eyes just become voids of darkness. Oh, God. And in a much deeper voice, she says, He says, Peter, if you leave through that door, you can return to your reality now. However, if you spend the day with us, you can become a friend's, and at the end of the day, we will return you to your reality. And then she returns to normal. What do you do?

I tell her to not drink so much Central Perk coffee, for starters. That's why her pupils have gone all like that, I think. but then after that I mean it doesn't really matter whether it's friends or not I think I would always be interested in trying a 24-hour experience

of being in anyone else's life or you know maybe not anyone with but what if you get to the coffee shop and they're all pretending it's real but you can see that the coffee shop is just a set and there's loads of people filming you and how do you react

in that case I would definitely walk out the door because this is not some sort of supernatural experience that's happened If it was a supernatural experience and it was like, do you want to see what it's like being in friends for 24 hours? I'd probably do it just because I know that I'm going back to my life at the end of it, you know, it would be an experience. Okay. But, you know, if it was just, hey, Peter, do you want to swap your life and be on the friends? No, not really.

No, I don't. I don't like coffee. Well, that would be it. You wouldn't be able to be one of the friends. No, I'd be an acquaintance. Du-n-la-no-no-no-na-no-na-no-na-na-o. Acquaintances. All of the like side characters from friends have their own spin-off.

Yeah. I think I've seen... Is acquaintances, a family guy joke? I think I've seen that. It could be, I don't know. I also don't watch Family Guy. There's an unpopular opinion. Hey, why don't you go to Family Guy land?

Yeah. I also don't like South Park. It's just the all American comedies, I think. Come on, dude. Anyway, that's all of my unpopular opinions. That's me firmly in the crosshairs of the audience. What about you two? What do you hate?

I hate. What have you sent us, Michael? He's found acquaintances. Oh yeah, it's all the lookalikes. That's the meme there of all the friends who sort of look like. Sorry, Google acquaintances meme. Oh, man, that's a good meme. Chandler does not look like Chandler in that.

All the others are pretty good, but... Yeah, that doesn't. like Chandler, does it? No. It's just a guy in wearing a tie. That's what Chandler is, right? My unpopular opinion is that I think

wiping back to front is the superior. Oh yeah, that's very unpopular. Oh, don't, not this. No, that is a controversial opinion. There we go. That's it. I'm angry now, Ben. We've done this. We've been down this road. Thanks for treading it back up. Now, that's all I can think about

is you wiping. Why didn't want to reopen the can of what? Peter brought the question it's not my fault yeah yeah oh i think i've been so i think i think i the only thing i remember recently is getting into an argument on a ferret facebook group um for having the audacity to say oh you should try and adopt your animals instead of you know going to a pet shop where they're really badly treated and you're only funding that by buying from the pet shops and someone was like you shut out and yeah it's especially with ferrets it's a weird In America, they're all bred on ferret farms and they're all got lots of inbreeding and health issues.

In the UK, we're kind of fine because that industry doesn't exist to the same extent. But yeah, I just, I'm a big old vegan boy and I'm going to piss you off because I'm a lefty. Yeah, I guess statistically, at the moment, being a vegan is, you're not in the majority yet. One day, Peter, one day, yet. One day. When the planet burns, the vegans will be. her eyes I've got a thing

oh no you have not I'm gonna jump straight in with a thing fucking do it go on this is from the Daily Mirror yeah oh one of those mom livid not just this not my mom

it's our mom but it's just the way it's worded it sounds like our mom is livid right mom livid after nursery sends her rude note by writing on toddler in green marker That's the onion

I'm putting that one down Yeah that's the onion is it Wait until you see How much writing And how big the note is on the child Let me send you the picture right now You're expecting a small note Oh my goodness me

On the baby's head So I will read the story Before you read that out loud for the audience A Furious Mum has hit out at a nursery Who left her a message By scrolling it on her toddler's stomach In Green Marker Single mum of two, Heather, discovered the writing when changing her son, Milo's nappy.

Milo, Milo. After a long day at work, leaving her furious. Writing on Facebook, she says the daycare put a daily report in both of her children's lunchboxes to let her know how they have behaved during the day, what times they were changed, and if either of them needed more nappies or wipes bringing in. The American mum This is good writing from the mirror The American mum

She Must Have Missed a Message from the day before So I don't know The American Mum says she must have missed a message From the day before That Myler required more diapers And as she was then faced With a huge message written in Marker On his torso

As written on KidSpot Which I guess is a parent news site It read Mom I'm out of diaper Please read my report. What? Oh my God.

She said, Now keep in mind, I see several teachers at drop off and several at pickup. If I failed to see that he needs diapers, a simple, hey, Heather, your son needs diapers. Maybe you miss the report. Would have done the trick from any of the many teachers that I see there daily. But instead, I change his diaper this afternoon. And then this is in all caps.

And see this, Richard on my son with marker. sue me for not reading the report every single day she puts it sort of goes on but you know how these tabloids spread the story thinly across a page with several adverts there's nothing else to this story

but there you go the daycare centre wrote on a child so what does it say I'm out of diapers mum I'm out of diapers read my report do the parents provide diapers I'm not entirely sure I guess so

I mean that kind of makes sense otherwise they'd be spending a lot of money on diapers but wow I like the idea of messenger babies instead of pigeons yeah that's how you get your message noticed

pigeon find whatever they don't fly away baby who no avoiding that that sharpie on the tummy no I think she shared it on on Snapchat because there is

hang on let me there's a second picture with the You did a little Snapchat caption on it. And it says, after scrubbing several times, and it's not come off. Oh, God. Oh, dear. Why would they write with permanent marker?

I don't know. It's insane. Why have they? I've been desperately trying to think of a pun. I can't. No. I'm throwing in the towel. Yeah, I was thinking, is there something that post-it notes?

Is there something there? Maybe not. No, maybe. Yeah. Want to think on. Yeah. Much to think about. Yeah.

Postnatal notes Oh yeah I like that That's good It's not I don't know I could be better There's definitely

Something It's better than anything Anyone else came up with Mikey Yeah Postnotal Yeah postnotal Yeah

There we go Yeah Oh god Is there a follow up To the story Is there No I There's no

There's no comment From the You know From the nursery Or anything like that As far as I can see That's just how it ends lots of mums on

I guess on the kids kids net website or whatever it was called have said that they're outraged file a report totally not okay or appropriate I am so mad for you you are a human with a lot on your plate it's easy to miss a couple of things etc etc

is this do you reckon the mum did this for attention yeah maybe possibly but then you'd think that the I'm guessing that the mirror probably reached out to the nursery for comment and the fact that they've remained silent. Yeah, no, that's true.

You'd think if the mum had done it, that the nursery might say, hang on, no, we didn't write on your baby. But also, it just seems the most unlikely thing, doesn't it? Yeah. How recent was this story? It was a couple of weeks ago, I think. Hang on. A couple of weeks ago, and there's still no follow-up.

That's great. It was longer than that. It was 28th of January, so a month ago. Wow. yeah mad well no follow-up for now so well one day hopefully sorry to leave you hanging but I just thought we all needed to know about that thank you thank you do we have the name of the nursery um can we docks them no can we just tell everyone to avoid it unless you want a scribble baby no it doesn't actually it doesn't actually say that first picture that I sent you of the unscrubbed

oh no the second one actually the second picture where it's been scrubbed out a little bit the caption on that image is just the note was huge which is fairly dramatic great that is dramatic yeah good wow thank you Peter thank you Peter

you're welcome just a quick one there a little baby thing little baby thing yeah do you want another question sons yeah okay today according to Duncan Wilson

at DM Wilson 73 if that is his real name. Today, at time of recording, is World Book Day. That's true, I can confirm. What was your favourite book as a kid? And do you have one now? Says Duncan Wilson. Good question.

I actually thought about bringing this as my thing if it hadn't been asked. But fortunately, it was. I'm very upset with myself because I've never been a reader. Even though I want to be, I'm physically incapable of reading. the words just make no sense

help me what are these symbols so it was always kind of like a really nice treat to read a book in English class or something where like it'd be like everyone being there reading the same books there's nothing that distract you it's just like hey let's enjoy the story and Lord the Flies really stuck with me since

then because we've read lots of books but for some reason Lord the Flies is this really interesting little like political analogy with children and blah blah and I don't know just kind of children with children with Sharpies on them.

The children have ran out of, I don't know, did they crash on a plane or something? They've ran out of fuel and they've crashed and that's all sharpied on them. Otto got a melon stuck under his brake pedal and the bus crashed. I was always so fucking impressed by that coconut village they built.

Yeah. With the monkey butlers. Oh, amazing. Monkey butlers, yeah. Go, banana. How many flies are in Lord of the Flies? I haven't read it. 32.

Do you want me to name more for you? Yes, please. Derek. Big Titty Jesus, 42. Let me later. Let's go up to the subscriptions. At least six of them are Big Titty Jesus. Yeah.

And one of them wants to suck my tours. I've never read it. I've seen the films with Frodo and Gandalf and so on. They take the one fly back to Mordor. Is that the line, Fly You Falls? Is that why that's it? Yeah. Flies, you fools.

That's it. The Lord of the Flies. Brilliant. I used to read The Edge Chronicles, which were written by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell, who is, he's now,

or I don't know if he still is, but he was Children's Laureate for a time, Chris Riddell. And they were illustrated inside in this really interesting style. Oh my God, I just Googled it. Holy shit, yeah, that is a really nice style. Yeah.

And there were like 15 of them, or maybe not quite that many, they were like at least 12, I think. And they were set in this world where it's like, it's like this cliff that just sort of sticks out into open sky. And they have like sky ships with pirates on them and loads of like cool monsters and stuff. And, oh, really liked them. I think the illustrations helped.

I thought it was, and it was kind of, at the time, seem like quite an edgy series as well because uh people get killed with swords blood comes out uh you know stuff like that people lose like heads and limbs and stuff even though it's kind of a young adult story and plus the fact it takes place on a cliff edge is pretty edgy well yeah it's pretty edgy yeah would you define yourself as an edge lord peter oh definitely and i purely put it down to the edge chronicles that's i learned when you guys were at your frat parties and lover's lanes I was studying the edge

and now you have the audacity to come to me for help Nice If you stare long enough into the edge The edge stares back into you as well That's it That's what happens And they actually released The final book in the series

Only like two years ago And I've bought it And I'm reading it soon Oh exciting Yeah So that's nice It's like something that I've grown up with since I was probably about, I don't know, 12 or something

like that. So, yeah. Lovely. I, apart from the obvious Harry Potter, you know, I don't consider myself a big Harry Potter fan, not in the sense that I don't like it just because I don't, I don't have the same level of obsession as a lot of people do. But I'd certainly enjoyed reading the books growing up. Yeah. And apart from that, Alex Ryder. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a big, Alex Ryder fan, the Boy Spy. I never read those, but my brother liked them. Yeah, they were really good. I think I read the first three a lot.

And then I think it sort of went downhill a little bit after that, because I can't really remember why, but he was a teenager for a long time. Yeah. And it seemed a bit odd. They did a film adaptation of the first one, Stormbreaker. Is it Stormbreaker? Yeah.

I remember watching that in the cinema with my friend of being thoroughly disappointed even as a child. Yeah, it was real shame Stephen Fry was in it which was great as the gadget man In the book He had a spit

His gadget was a Game Boy Oh fucking sick And the cartridges Did different things Oh my God There was a smoke bomb That was a game boy cartridge That he put in

And I think the film replaced it with like a DS Or something contemporary And I was like Oh man Why couldn't it be a Game Boy? Game Boys are the shit man Anthony Horowitz

Was that author I think Yeah boy Yeah it was Point blank was good as well. That was a second one. Point Blanc. Plon. Plon Blanc.

And I think there was something about some face swapping or someone was having surgery and it was a bit of a mystery. I don't know. I really like those books. I thought it were really good. But I don't read so much anymore because I am, I just don't have the time. I am spending any time on it. I've just got, and I know my mum listens to this podcast. They bought me the, what's the, what's the Python who's still alive, who writes a lot of books?

who writes a lot of books Michael Palin Yes, Michael Palin wrote a very interesting book about a boat and I started reading it and I then stopped because it was about a boat

Oh no that was my most recent book attempt Ben if you don't read books you're going to be a boring person for the rest of your life Would a boring person do this? Whoa! Exactly

You are the Edge Chronicles Lord now Thank you Give me your fedora. You don't get to wear it anymore. It's mine. Here it is. Here is my samurai sword. Oh, blimey.

This is getting really serious. I still read a bit. Probably my favourite book that I've read recently is Never Wear by Neil Gaiman. Probably aware of Neil Gaiman. He sometimes writes for TV and... I've heard of his name. Yeah. Have you heard of American Gods on Netflix?

Oh, yes. Yeah, that was one of his. I think. I've not read that, but yeah, he's written a lot of things that either he's written for TV shows, like he's done some Doctor Who, or he's written things that have been adapted into TV shows and movies. But Neverware is about this kind of underground population in London that are like sort of, they're not invisible, but like when people, when they're walking around on the surface, people don't really notice them. But yeah. It's a good book. He's writing another one as well, so I'm excited for that. Busy boys. But would recommend Neverwhere if you're into your Harry Potter's and that kind of thing. But you want to read an adult book for adults.

Oh, blimey. Yeah. It's time for a thing. I'm happy to do my thing. Mike Lerl. Hi. I think you should do your thing, miss. Right.

Well, everybody get your dinner plates out. I've brought along a load of garlic. Got an extra quidsworth, three cheers. Oh, lovely, thanks. You've got an extra quid's worth or what? Garlic. For each of us. Oh, for each of us, I couldn't make out.

Oh, right, yes. It was too jordy for you. For each of us. For each of us. It's French. I don't come with garlic, sadly. I come with... Oh, for fuck's sake. I know, but it's probably as equally as good.

If you could put it into food and eat it, it would be like garlic. Okay. I instead come with another letter from our favourite... George Franklin, Ben Franklin. Oh, George Franklin. George Franklin. My favorite George Franklin, Ben Franklin. G. Franks.

This is a letter to a friend from 1974. Jesus, 1974. Wow, he lived a long time. This is a real world change at notice. It's from 1745. How did you get 1974 from that? There's a lot of words on my screen, Peter. I'm getting confused. I can't read. You know this.

Michael, you're doing great. Thanks. Sorry. The title of this letter is Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress. Oh, good. Oh, okay. So it turns out this friend of our boy, G. Ben Franks,

he's going through some sexual trouble at the minute. He's just got these uncontrollable urges. And so as you do, you reach out to your friend who's like an American, American big boy. and you ask, what do I do with all these sexual urges? Do you want to know what the advice was? Yeah. Yeah.

It was getting, as mentioned in the title, it was getting a mistress. Yeah. Oh, good. Really sold that one. Not eating some Kellogg's corn flakes. Oh, that wasn't invented yet. That came after this. Yeah.

Sadly. Just finding a really flattering photo of Ben Franklin for us all to look at while we listen. Oh, that'd be nice. Thank you. I'm just going to tweet it as well. so everyone at home Oh, look at him. This picture of Ben Franklin.

That's a saucy devil. I wonder how many mistresses he had. Nothing but mistresses. But what makes this advice a bit more interesting is the fact that Franklin insists that an older woman is the only way to go. Oh, Benjamin. Oh, he likes the older lady.

You little toy boy. Blimey. To quote, A single man has not nearly the value he would have in that state of union he's an incomplete animal he resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors

I don't know what that means really so then yeah worried that he replied to his friend in a big long letter but he's worried that his friend wouldn't heed his advice and so in a very contemporary format Ben Franklin

made an eight point list of reasons why older women make better partners I'm Ben from Franklin and here are eight reasons You just read my next line So yeah, with that, I'm Benjamin Franklin from what culture And here's eight reasons why you should marry an older woman

To stop your sexual urges Oh, I'm sorry, Mikey It's all right, it's fine Couldn't help myself Number eight Because as they have more knowledge of the world And their minds are better filled with observations Their conversation is more improving

and more lastingly agreeable. So, yeah, they're easier to get on with. I think a little bit of our friend Franklin's misogyny shines through in some of these. This is one of the weak tamer ones. Hmm. Okay.

Number seven. Because when women cease to be handsome, they study to become better people. Oh, good. So pick an ugly one. Yeah, find an ugly one because they've got a better brain. He expands on this point.

To maintain their influence over men when their looks are fading, they learn other ways of being valuable. They learn to do a thousand services big or small and are the most tender and useful of all friends when you are sick. And hence, there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old woman who is not a good woman. Who the fuck are you, Ben Franklin?

You wrote a thesis on farts. You snail man, you absolute cretint. I'm just looking at this photo of him while listening. Imagine you. In fact, I need to... It's the only way we could go back in time so I could pass on the fedora and... Give it to...

Catana. Yeah. All he's missing is a bit of neckbade and he's there. Yeah. It's more than me. Number six, this is a nice practical one. You should date an old woman because there's no hazard of children. So he's not...

No hazard. A hazard of children. So he's not talking a little bit older. He's talking about like a post-manipausal woman. Yeah. Yeah. So you can bonk them to your... life's content, mate.

Bonk I'm silly, my dude. Oh, yeah. He expands. Children, when irregularly produced, may be attended with much inconvenience. What was his wording then? When? Which irregularly produced may be attended with much inconvenience. Irregularly produced.

I don't really know what that means. You don't regularly make children, do you? Do you? I don't know. Maybe. I tried to reword a lot of this into quote-unquote normal English. English. But that was just mystifying to me. Number five. Because through more experience, they are more prudent and discreet when it comes to hiding your relationship. If the affair

should happen to be known, considerate people might be rather inclined to excuse an old woman who would kindly take care of a young man from his manners by her good cancels and prevent his ruining his health and fortune among mercenary prostitutes. Oh, God. Sounds like Ben's been. been stung in the past. Yeah. These prosies, oh,

mercenaries, a lot of them. I've never heard mercenary and prostitutes put together like that, but I really like that. It's badass, isn't it? In 2020, we're all about mercenary prostitutes.

That's fucking awesome. A sex worker with a mini gun and a bandolia across their chest. Fuck yeah. That sounds great. Go get it. Go girl. Or boy.

Oh boy. Oh boy. Number four, and this is my personal favorite. Because in every animal that walks upright, the deficiency of the fluids that fill the muscles appears first in the highest part. The face first grows lank and wrinkled, then the neck, then the breast and arms, the lower parts, continuing to the last as plump as ever. So that when covering all above

with a basket, and regarding only what is below the girdle, it is impossible of two women to know an old one from a younger one. That is unbelievable. I mean, first off, that's bollocks. That's not how it works. But also he's saying, oh, well, if you catch her at the right moment, from below the waist,

she'll still have the genitalia and legs of a sexy young broad. As long as you put a basket over the rest of her. Just stick a basket on her head. Yeah. Just look at this guy's fucking face. He needs the basket. That's what he looks like.

He needs to get in the basket. Come on. Just get in the fucking basket So we can throw you off a cliff Yeah I like this little metaphor He throws in at the end of this one And as in the dark

All cats are grey As you know In the dark everyone's the same So I may as well be an older woman Right But then might as well also be a man What's your point? Yeah

Well maybe yeah Maybe he's hinted that secretly Why not just stick your dick In a raw chicken Ben Franklin? Yeah, why not Ben Franklin? Yeah, come on Go on, stick a basket on a chicken and fuck it.

You monster. Shut up, Ben, frankly. Uh, number three, slightly, well, yeah, I think this just comes from a place of, you know, in the olden times women were largely misunderstood and thought of as other creatures from men. Because this sin... What are they? What are women? Number three, because the sin is less.

The deporting of a virgin may be her ruin and make her unhappy for life. so find someone that's already ruined and unhappy for life so that you're not the cause of it I guess okay it goes weird it's weird from you know put a basket on your partner to you know don't ruin a life with your penis Ben yeah Franklin I'm sorry

weird one number two it is it's yeah it's all a bit weird number two because there is less guilt I think there's kind of links into the previous one having made a young girl miserable may give you frequent bitter reflections none of which can attend the making of an old woman happy

I think he's just kind of implying that older women would be happy to be with anyone and right it's a gift yeah you're being generous you're lucky to have this smiling Benjamin Franklin yeah I'm doing her a favour

yeah it's definitely the vibe I'm getting from this and lastly because they are so grateful oh god He did. He's probably like, I'm a gift from God. I will have sex with you, but only if you put a basket over yourself and you don't talk about our relationship in public. They will be great, but they should be paying me. I'll be the mercenary. Benjamin Franklin, mercenary prostitute. Wow, he is. What a dreadful man.

So that's our list. One of the founding fathers of the land of the free. Oh, dear. Yeah. And that's our list. If you like, the video let us know you send a letter to me George Franklin George why the fuck am I doing it again are there only we missed off

let us know in the comments below I'm Ben from what culture no and there we go that's why Benjamin Franklin is a bit of a weirdo is a piece of shit the farts were fine but a misogyny was a bit much for me

who'd have known that the the shit would come out of his mouth as well as his ass. Ridiculous. Well, I've found another picture of my hair. Chuck it away, my dude. Oh, yeah. Like a beached whale.

He does just look like a sort of creepy man on the bus who smells of crab sticks. I think in that photo he's been dead for a while. Yeah. If you look closely at his face, you can tell he's just farted. And this must have been like around the time he wrote that essay. Yeah. That's the facial expression you make to your co.

workers when you're passing in the corridor. Just the gentle nod in the hallway as you pass by wordless. You're comfortable there. For you have for your tea. Smell it. Smell it and see? Smell it.

I'll tweet that as well so people can see that. Whole chain of just, no context, Franklin. There we go. Excellent. Thank you, Michael. That's all right. I'm glad I could provide a chain of Franklin, George or Ben, whoever it may be. Whichever one we're feeling like it is today. Yeah.

Okay. Straight off the back of Ben Franklin doing trumps. We've got Lloyd Nardja here at Lloyd 91, who just says, fav weird smell. Petrille. Petrille. It's got to be petrol. Absolutely petrol. I like Dunn Sparklers as well.

Yeah. Gun power. Gunpowder. Gunpowder. From party poppers and stuff. Yeah. Dun matches. I don't know why I'm using the word done like that, but it's happening.

Dun matches and done sparklers. Dun matches. Pretty good. Yeah. Leather bookmarks. Oh, leather. Yeah. That's not even... Particularly bookmarks. Is that because it combines the leather and bookmark smell? Do you remember back in video it's when someone sent us farts spray and Ben Bindit straight away?

Yeah, liquid ass. Liquid ass. Because I did not trust you. Well, as part of my job over the last couple of weeks, I had to order in some, let me just find the name of it. I think it was called Who Shit Their Pants Fart Spray? Oh, God. Fucking hell. Yeah, we did, I helped produce a live stream in the office.

One of the potential challenges that people would have to do would be wear a gas mask. that's filled with this farts spray. Oh, my God. That would probably make people vomit. Yeah, well, they did very well. They got chosen and they survived. This person also said they'd happily eat dog food on camera, so. Okay.

But, yeah, the smell is, honest to God, the most accurate diarrhea smell I've ever smelled. Oh. I'm not saying I like it, but the spray bottle's still in the office, and I kind of walk past it every now, and then I go, I'll have a little sniff. And yet, well, it's still bad.

amazing it's the smell of home it really is home home is where the fart is oh very good very good indeed uh there's got to be some some sort of industrial solventy smells are pretty good sometimes i had one of those um like neck pillow things that's full of you know beans for one of the little beans you know what i mean full of the little beans you know what i mean full of the little And I used to just sniff it because it smelled of, you know, faintly of factory solvents. I don't know. That was quite a nice smell. I might have literally been huffing solvents. I'm not really sure. Yeah, possibly. Solvent abuse can kill instantly. It can, but it didn't, though. Pretty fun.

I'll tell you what was always a lottery was different kinds of books at school. Yeah. You know, like some textbooks would smell really nice. textbook smell. Some wouldn't actually smell that nice. There'd be like a weird, different smell. What do they smell of sick? Why does sometimes they smell of sick? Yeah, they did sometimes smell of sick. And then, you know,

some of the, like, actual, like, reading book, like fiction books that we had to read, like, your Lord of the Flies, Mikey. We had one, we read Skellig at school. Did you guys, are aware of Skellig? Never heard of it before. No, it's about this, like... I know Skelliger. That's in the witch, yeah. Yeah, it is. It is.

But, uh, Skellig's about this like a boy finds like an old man who's got wings just in his garage that's actually what it's about. This is great. Yeah, it's like an old dying angel he finds in like

the shed at the bottom of his garden and he just feeds him like Chinese food and ginger ale. Oh man, can I be the dying angel? I want that life. Yeah. Anyway, the Skellig books smelled really good and they didn't smell like any of the

because like book smell is a nice smell But it wasn't book smell. It was this other different book smell. And I think there's something about... Boothick smell. Yeah, but maybe that's what it was. Oh, God. Well, good smells.

I mean, there's lots of really nice non-word smells, like new sheets. Ooh. New sheet night. Well, not new, cleanly washed, I mean. Yeah, clean sheet night. Yeah. I've got one of those coming up this weekend. Yeah.

It's going to be fun. Yeah. It's a big weekend. It's difficult when you've only got one set of bed sheets, isn't it? Never wash. I wash the pillowcases semi-reaching. but the bed just tends to stay because I shower before bed so I don't usually go to bed dirty so I mean it's no excuse it's just I don't have time to dry it before it's bedtime again

it is a hell of a task yeah on on the inverse of that our couch because the ferret's like to climb all over it has little ferret oil stains on it and so every like every once a while we we take off all the covers off the couch and put it in the washing machine and that takes about two three days to dry, so we just got a couple of days of having a shitty looking sofa. At least it's not oily. Nice. Thanks, ferrets. It's true. That's true.

Oh, there we go. Mum, feared should die after getting armed trapped under bed for 13 hours. Oh my God. This is my thing. Jesus. I bet you thought I was about to read your story when I delivered mine. Yeah, it's a good thing I checked beforehand. And it's not my story.

I need to give full credit to at Martin Bray. Ranny on Twitter who tweeted this to us So I missed this. I don't remember seeing this. She got her arm, what, stuck under the bed? Trapped under bed. This story is just a complete roller coaster. Okay. I think you'll enjoy it. This is from the Metro. Oh boy. Great. So it's real. And there's a photo of a

disgruntled woman and the offending... With no arm. It's in a big sling. Yeah. Are you ready? Yes. A mum got true. trapped under her bed overnight after it collapsed on her when she reached to get her MP3 player.

Oh, wow, what century is this? Yeah, already. It's interesting. Claire Montello, 39, feared she would die after getting stuck for 13 hours at her home in Grangewood, Chesterfield. She described how when her husband Francesco Montello, 61, returned from work the next morning at 10.30 a.m. and lifted the bed, her arms swelled up and then burst. Oh, God. No.

What? Hello, 999. What's your emergency? My arms burst. My arms pop. The mum of three was reaching between a gap when the piston holding up the mattress failed, and the entire Ottoman-style bed-top crashed down on her arm at around 9.30pm on January the 23rd. She was trapped because she didn't have the strength in her one free arm to lift the bed up, and her phone was out of reach.

Oh, fair play, that is fucking terrifying. Terrified, Claire, screamed and shouted to no avail and even had to lean on the bed, further compressing her arm when her legs grew too tired to stand. Oh, God. And then there's a couple of photos of the bed there. Miss Montello said, I thought I was going to die. I had to keep making myself sick to keep the moisture in my mouth as a way to survive.

What? I must have vomited about 40 times. That doesn't work. Oh, that's acid you're putting in your mouth. What? That is mental. What on earth? Well, I'm very thirsty.

I might do a bit of a sick in my mouth. In order to stop dehydrating, she made herself vomit 40 times. I felt bad for up until now. Wow. The thing is, this story goes through sort of crests and falls of, oh, poor woman. What? What was she doing? What?

Because the wardrobe was right next to the bed I couldn't even sit down I knew Francesco wouldn't be back until the morning so I had no choice but to sit on the bed I couldn't stand for that long I couldn't sleep through it I was in so much agony I'm surprised I didn't pass out of the pain

but I was and for the whole 13 but I was and for the whole 13 hours there's a photo of her stitched up arm and it does look pretty rough to be fair I don't think it burst Mr. Montello, a care worker, added, I lifted up the bed and when she got her arm out, it was flat. Oh, gosh.

I've never seen an arm go that flat before. Oh no. It was flat. What? Claire was rushed to Royal Derby Hospital and was kept in for a two-week stay and underwent four operations. Doctors performed a skin graft using skin from her thigh. She had a muscle removed, and doctors told her there's a 50-50 chance she will regain movement in her left arm, she said.

Claire added, I'm now in absolute agony. I've got a splint on it, and I can't feel anything. If there wasn't in there, my arm would just be a floppy mess. Mr. Montello has since destroyed the bed with a sledgehammer. In anger. Go on. The couple said she said they brought it from a warehouse a few years back. for £800 and never had any issues.

And that's the end of the story. Wow. Oh, God. I mean, of course, I feel terrible for the woman for, you know, she might never gain... Yeah, the photos are grim. Yeah. She might, you know, never gain the use of her arm again. That's terrible.

But why did she make herself sick over 40 times? I don't know. Imagine a husband coming home finding this massive pool of sick on the floor and the wife with her arm stuck in the bed and then he remarks I've never seen an arm go that flat you know that your husband's back in 13 hours like you're not going to de-hide

you're not going to die of first in 13 hours it's just not going to happen horrifying it's like the really weird where was she from is she British it sounds like a British story yeah she is British it's like a really weird

British version of that 128 hours or whatever it's called. Yeah. You know, the bloker gets his arm stuck in the rock and has to chop it off. I can't wait for the film adaptation of a woman trying to reach for an MP3 player and getting stuck. 13 hours is what it'll be called. I really want to try vomiting 40 times and see what it does

because surely after 10 vomits you're like, this doesn't feel like a good idea. That's the next video. Don't do it dressed as Wallace, that's all I are. I vomited 40 times to see what would happen. See how hydrated. Dressed as Wallace. Believe me, within, I'm dressed as Wallace,

within like two days that would make it onto another fetish website. Damn right. Cute British guy vomits 40 times with a flat arm. Well, there we go.

That's my thing. Thank you. Fantastic. You're so welcome. Can I have a question? Yeah. Yeah, you can. Ben, specifically Ben.

Yeah. Alex, at Call Me Alex, but there's no E in Alex, says, if you had to give a TED talk right now, what would you give it on? Oh, man. What are you an expert in, apart from being an edge lord? Fuck, you know what, I don't know. I've always wondered this because I like, like, I watch these YouTube channels. I'm like, oh man, these guys, you know, they know a lot about a certain thing

and they're able to, you know, explore. Like, I watched a video about reload animations a couple of months ago. Oh, yeah. It was really fucking good. Like, really well made and everything. I was like, man, I'd love to make something like that. But I've got no knowledge on anything. So I make videos of farting and dressing up as Wallace.

That's my TED talk. You must have... I mean, you could do a TED talk on just animating lists and stuff. You were very good at that. Yeah, that'd be nice. Keyframe animations. I feel like a TED talk's got to be a bit sexy. A little bit of juicy.

We'll just do it with wearing no shirt. Oh, there we go. I could talk about anything then. Yeah, exactly. Here's me reading out a news article about a woman who got her arm stuck in a bed while topless on stage at TED. Oh, yeah. Who is Ted, by the way? Bed talk. Bed talk. Good. Good.

Yeah, what is a Ted? Ted. Is it a person? Is it a thing? Who is Ted? I've never watched a TED talk. I'm familiar with the concept, but I've never watched. No, really? They're very good. If you can find, I mean, there's obviously they cover all kinds of subjects, so some of them are. boring but like if you find one that's up your street you know they get good speakers on

to do them I've never watched a bad TED Talk put it that way like I think usually it gets forced into your recommended feed at some point

and you go oh I'll give that a try and it's always bloody amazing yeah I don't know I feel like I could do one oh man

I think is I don't think anyone would come and see it that's the thing I don't think anything that I would talk about would be interesting enough

that I could pretend to be an authority on it you know i don't think it has to be you don't have to worry about whether people would be interested in it but just like is is there anything that you feel that you could do a good chat for for like 15 minutes yeah it's like anything you're passionate about that you can bring a bit of fun and some you know anecdotes and facts too just it's like a nice speech i'm still i'm struggling um um pigeons yeah pigeons yeah let's do pigeons i'd listen to that ted talk i would love a ted talk about pigeons actually I've watched a few documentaries about pigeons

Oh, do pass on the names afterwards, Peter I'm very interested Michael, did you just do a pigeon? Yeah Oh, who passed them on How about going fast? Oh yeah, that's a pretty good one Yeah, that's a good one

Yeah, that's a good one Fantastic Would you want to share your knowledge with the world though Because obviously you want to be going on Oh no You want to be fastest boy It would be 15 minutes of me going fast In fact, I'll be done in two minutes

Yeah Nice. So don't even worry about it. Brilliant. Blinking, you'll miss it, my dudes. My TED Talk. National Trust. Yeah, I'd like, not National Trust necessarily, but...

Great British Walks. I've got a lot of books about folklore. I follow a lot of folklore Twitter accounts on Twitter, obviously. Because I think it's pretty... The thing it interests me about that is that there are all these stories that people came up with like hundreds of years ago that have just survived through mostly oral tradition. I know they've been written down now like in the past hundred years, but you know, a lot of them go back a thousand years. I think it's pretty, it's pretty wild that either someone

came up with them like an individual and their story that they came up with on the fly has survived this long or maybe even more interestingly is that like people collectively came up with stuff and it's like a product of a whole society of people saying, oh don't go down to the pond because Nelly Long Arms will get you I think it's pretty interesting but I'd watch that TED talk

I'd be interested in that Yeah Do it Peter Right now's your chance I'll get it written Lovely brilliant Yeah Fantastic

Peter thank you for all the questions You've brought us today Oh you're welcome thanks for answering them My fucking pleasure man But you know what I didn't I didn't bring in myself They came from the excellent members of our community

They were written on babies and sent into us. They were. That was five babies worth of questions. Well, we actually got 100 babies, but we only select the best five. Oh, yeah, the other ones we just threw out. Yeah, we don't need him. With the bathwater. Yeah. Came from our excellent community on Twitter.

Yeah. Yeah. At Vidit's official. Yep. So it. One of the other things, which we'll get to in a second. Would you guys like the next chapter in the Hoover story? Oh, absolutely. So I believe last time where we left it, it was,

I just reassembled the Hoover after cleaning it I think so, yeah and you'll never guess what happened right? What happened? What happened? I turned it on, yeah? Press the button it's on at the wall, the switch is flipped I follow the cable all the way to the Hoover, it's plugged in, it's there, it's working I pressed the button on the Hoover and nothing

happens. Oh my God it does not even start It doesn't even start It's somehow worse than last time Than when we started Like six months ago Yeah Yeah yeah yeah

So The next thing I did was I went to the internet Obviously And I tried to look up What model Hoover I had And you will never guess You'll never guess what I found out

What Ben what? What did you find out? Tell us now Don't do it I just have to wait until next time. Do you know what I think is going to be the final sort of episode, the reveal, the big reveal. The reason your Hoover is broken is because you accidentally sucked up the tickle monster and it's inside the Hoover.

Oh my God. I don't need creepy pasta inside my own house, thank you. Yeah, the ghost inside by Hoover. It's spooky for me. Well, there we go. We'll follow up on that. next time store.orgscast.com if you would like to look at some merchandise michael yes and if you look very closely you'll find a discount code for 10% of everything on the yogscast store that could be

a chaluminati hoodie a hat that says barry's hat on it a book anything but you know what also lives on the yogs castor viddiots merch video it's merch that's right we've got a selection of merchie goods on there and if you use called Vidyat's at checkout you'll get 10% off. How amazing is that? Very. That's so amazing. That's so amazing. YouTube, Twitter,

Facebook, all.com forward slash Vidiot's official. Twitch.tv.tv. It's what we do stream sometimes. We'll let you guys know if we're going to do one. Of course, streamlabs.com I don't even think I gave this a shout out

at the beginning. I think I totally forgot. GameLabs.com forward slash viduits official is how you join Pod Squad. That's where you go. There's a link in the description, all that sort of information. Go there and donate, and you'll get a shout at the beginning and the end of the show. You'll be a member of Pod Squad. We'll love you forever. Are you guys ready to quickly run through the name of the Pod Squad boys and girls and others today. Here we go. We've got a bag full of drugs. Big Daddy sausage finger. Jesus on Stiers. Samuel de Barber of Saville slash Seville.

But it's got an E on the end, so I'm assuming it's Savie? I don't really know. Big Titty Jesus 42. Scrumble-bomble, pomply doops. Perfection. So hard. Sugar chuff. Marlene. Michael John's sons.

Hello. Durig did a binge. Faster than Ben. Funny name underscore Lord Brothovich. The walnut winkle. Fantastic Mr. Fuchs. Kitty Hawks. Armine's Frozen Peas.

Big Titty Jesus 42. Six large, strong trestle tables. We jock Pupong McPlop. Peter's Tenticle Porn. At Dave on Pornhub. Big Titty Jesus 42. Tiny Peter Bathroom Olympian.

Michael Wallace gave me PTSD. Ben's grandma. A giant octopus in Peter's room. Michael dommed by a bed bug. O'woo, this is you, a woe, phobe. Al Gore's rhythms. Known racist Mel Gibbon. Simon Miller Light.

Sexy, sexy bedbug. Frederick Sucker Dick. Prince Beefcakes. Brian's mystery meatface. One jiff. Brief pause. Fulton the Pussy Killer Pad Squad

Plip Plap Cadillac Whipwap Call me Alks Big Titty Supportive Goth GF Emily Lemons Mike Hunt from the Discord Ammy Dasange Daddy Michael Suck My Toes Haywood

Jablo me Hey would you blow me Hey would Jablo me Billy Taurus Walrus Stephen Scodes Wibbly Wobbly Woo Pod squad

Godgods Nod Rod Rebecca the 42nd Autumn Awesome Foz not Fox Foz I'm so sorry

Unless that was auto correct Because X and Z are next to each other So maybe she did type Me to type Fox

Chafing Ramhole Grappage Greaselidge I think Andrew Stinson El Baker 97 You can gromit my Wallace Ben

Doc Dickington Fuck them kids crispy hoistin pizza and Haddy Emnor I think Grapeach greaselig greasel hangs out in the Star Wars canteener, doesn't he? Yeah, I was going to say, that sounds like one, doesn't it? Check out my StarWorm's knowledge.

And again, that's streamlabs.com forward slash viduets official. Thank you so much, everybody, for all your support. Thank you. Really, really appreciate that. YouTube.com forward slash Team Triple Jump if you'd like to see what Peter and I are up to, isn't that right, Peter?

Yeah. Remember vidiots? Huh? Remember vidiots. Oh. Never mind. Thanks, Peter. Thank you. Michael, you're over at Yogscast, aren't you? What are you up to? Oh, I've had a fun week. So about an hour before we started recording this podcast,

a video I helped make with The Spiffing Brit is now online on his channel. Oh, spiffing. Yeah, so if you like that, boy, go watch the new Q&A we shot. It was a lot of good fun. And other than that, you can find me at Parrot Boy on Twitter, where I, post ferrets by the looks of it and me dropping cereal on the floor so if you like that stuff go follow me there hooray the sequel to the soup disaster oh god i hope there's not a third like all sequels not as good as the original but still the heart's there it's still an event you didn't get it on someone's shirt uh this time so apologize i'll step it up for the next one yeah

finally leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice it helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. Thank you so much everybody for listening, for contributing, for donating. You're all amazing. And in fact, something we forgot to mention at the start of the show, today at the time of recording, which is, well, like five days before this episode goes out. Yeah. This is actually the one year anniversary of the first ever episode, Hi, Evelyn. Oh, congratulations.

That was released on the 6th of March. I love 20. We did it, boys. No, this is a two-year anniversary. I was going to say, I didn't want to correct you, but yeah, I thought it was. It was two years. This is the two-year, oh my God, two years. Because me and you have been at Triple Jump for every year.

I forget that last year wasn't 2018. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? It is, even though we're already in March. So, yes, the two-year anniversary, we're stronger than ever. Please tell your friends as well. Word of mouth is, it goes such a long way. Guys, what's the final question for the podcast? How many times would you vomit?

if you had your hand stuck in your ottoman bed. And after how many times vomiting, would you realise, hang on, this isn't hydrating me? Maybe if I keep vomiting. 39, 40, 41 times? I'm calling it 40 times. I'm calling it. 40 times is it.

I'm parched. I've vomited 38 times. I don't feel better. I'll try again twice more. And if not, I'm stopping. Just look at me now. I just look at me hot I just look at my arm

it's never been flatter my arm's so flat I've got to need a new glove okay Saturday is treatment day I mean you know the woman is 50-50 on whether she gets her arm back but yeah that's true

it's still funny I'm sorry but it is Sorry, yeah. It's a terrible shame what happened to that woman. Yeah. On Saturday, it's time for a reward. Your husband will return from work. After 13 hours, Francesco returns

with a sledgehammer. Tired, big arm, looking for your MP3 player, tired. Her MP3 player. What do you think was on her, Actually, you know, that's the question this week. What songs do you think this woman had on her MP3 player?

Where underscore is underscore the underscore love underscore black IPs dot rip? I'm just feeling that Tracy Beaker image where it's Rizzo or whatever his name was saying, all right, who's got my Maroon 5 CD? Can't remember what his name was Wellard or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. RICO.

I don't know. Rico Wellard? Yeah. I don't know. Stupid. What a silly show. Anyway, we're going to go now. Thanks for listening, everyone.

We'll see you in a couple of weeks. We will. Tarrah. Bye. Bye. Bye-bye. Simons celebrates freedom of expression with a daily ritual of getting dressed. Fashion's power lies in its endless possibilities.

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