Podiots - Podiots: Episode 48 - COVIDIOTS

Episode Date: March 24, 2020

Ben's hunting fast cows, Peter's had a wardrobe malfunction and Mikey stuffing himself inside a phone booth   Donate to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/vidiotsofficial New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Maybe it's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories. Yeah, we're around either watching these commercials on TV

or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us. Maybe it's Maple Lane. Maybe it's Maple Lane. I'm just going to apply some lip balm. Oh, yeah, get nice and moist. I'm going to. Does lip balm dry anybody else's lips out?

I've always hated lip balm. I never got it. It feels weird. I don't like being all clammy and oily. I don't really use it much, but. I don't think it dries my lips out. It just, yeah. I just don't know what you're meant to do.

I don't know either, because none of us are apparently lip balm uses, really. So, sorry, no advice here. There's no official video advice. Other than don't use it, there's nothing. But what if my lips are sore? What else have you tried? Have you tried mayonnaise or something? That might be good.

I haven't tried mayonnaise, no. I think if lip balm doesn't work, you just try every kind of liquidy thing in your house until you find something that works for you. Yeah. Okay, I've got some, um, what's in here? I've got a screwdriver. That's not liquid at all. I got a highlighter.

Highlight. Highlight. Do you mean screwdriver is in the drink, or like an actual screwdriver? No, just a screwdriver. Oh, shit. Yeah. Home base screwdriver. It just seems counterproductive when aloeuvre is meant to soothe.

but then it dries instead. Yeah, I won't try some now. I really want to see what happens. I'll do that after the stream and I'm going to have a wild night. Oh, gosh. Bit of balm. Uh-huh.

Bloody hell. Calm down. Is that me again? I didn't hear anything. Got sirens. Oh. Add a bit of extra ambience to it, I guess. A little bit of an extra dynamic.

Yeah. A little bit of a little bit of black pepper. Sort of in a vaguely much. Michael Jugson voice, but a different meme entirely. A little bit of black pepper. I'm not a bit of a little bit of a pen's worth of black pepper. Oh, God.

Might you, Mikey Juggson. I wonder if he's still out there. I would one day love to crowdfunded documentary about the hunt for him, but maybe that's what we use the video to reserve for. I think we've romanticised it. I think that's the problem.

Yeah, he's not going to be... He'll be a horrible man if you meet him. He may have died of malnutrition at this point because all he's been eating is an extra 50s worth of garlic. Oh, dear. He's either dead or he's got 12 kids. Yeah. Or both.

Both. Probably's both. I think he may have become an extra 50s worth of garlic. He's had that much of it. He now is just the living embodiment of an extra 50s worth. Does he have 12 Michael Jugg sons? Oh, very good. Very good.

Very good. Oh, what's the jug in that situation? Um, I haven't, oh, Jesus, I have no idea. I mean, it's slang for a female breast. Oh, just, just one. Yeah. Nice jug. Nice jug.

Nice jug. Specifically the one on the left. That's a really good one. Yeah, premium jug. Premium jugs. Mm. Well, I think that isn't a perfect, that's like the best possible moment to run the intro, guys. The what?

The intro guys. It's been, it's been quarantined. Oh, no. Oh, what we're going to do? We're going to... Just fuck, just play it. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Podiat's the official. Bam.

Vidiats. Boom. Podcast. Bam. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us, where everybody at home brings a long to talk about. I didn't partake in that at all. I'm sorry. That's fair.

That's understandable. Coward! Yeah, I literally just chickened out. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. Well, what a time it is to be alive. Oh, good gosh.

What a year, new time indeed. 2020, new year, new me, am I right? Absolutely. There's a lot of new things going around. So, yeah, it's very much the year of new. Let's try some new experiences, everybody. Let's be locked inside for however fucking long. Fun, fun, fun.

How are we all doing? Are you well? Yes. Very well. Okay, I'm a bit poorly, but I'm okay. Oh, no. Losing my voice a little bit. And I went into self-isolation last week at the time.

time of recording. Just to be safe. And now we're all working from home anyway. Yay. So I got a head start on the competition. Are you guys, have you guys adapted to it yet? Is it weird still? I'm not showering.

Okay. And I can't bring myself to shower. Can I ask why? I don't know. I don't know. It's been two days. Help. He's running out of shower gel, maybe.

Oh, yeah, that's it. The testicles been really. no it's just i don't know i wake up in the morning and i kind of roll out of bed and i go to my computer and then before i know it's like 5 p.m i don't i don't know what to do my time i think i brush my no i didn't brush my teeth the date oh my god i'm falling apart michael no can you split kind of stuff that you don't admit yeah can me can we just cut this out please yeah we'll just start we'll just start again yeah after this michael yes go have a fucking shower and brush your teeth i could smell you from here

You can't fucking smell it. I can just fucking smell it. I hope you had further away, son. What do you audience for, right? I'll just spray that on a few times. It's like dry shampoo, but for your body. Yeah. Same basic principle, I'm sure.

Right, well, before we move on to sort of some questions and some things, let's talk about Pod Squad, guys. Let's talk about Pod Squad. These fine upstanding members of society who are washing their hands, maintaining social distance and helping to flatten the curve. Helping. They also have supported us financially over at streamlabs.com forward slash vidiates official. If you donate there, any amount, it really, really helps us out.

We just used it the other week to extend our membership of the podcast website we use to host this. We put it towards other things as well. Very serious stuff, you know, and you don't have to. You can enjoy the podcast for free, as so many of you do. And that's wonderful. We love that you listen to it. We just ask that you tell your friends. However, some people, they go above and beyond the call of duty, and they donate to us.

And these people are members of Pod Squad. If you donate, streamlabs.com forward slash videos official, you get a shout out at the beginning and at the end of the show, the sillier, the names, the better. Are you guys ready? Oh, yes. So ready. Honestly, you wouldn't believe how ready I am. Peter, calm down.

Stop being so ready. Sorry, I'll de-redify slightly. Just, yes, thank you. Okay, I'm good. Christ, he's armed himself as well. Unbelievable. We've got B-255, arse face, Katie Kins Solo. Very generous.

She says, enjoy some money, boys. Thank you, Katie Kins-Solo. Thank you. We've got Pong Linus, Otto von Gizmark. Nice. What Culture Limited, which is very kind of them. Oh, thanks. For when they fired us before Christmas, that was cool.

Stop clenching your fists. Ben was too quiet in episode 47. A little bit of feedback there in the form of a donation. Oh, that's interesting. Prince Beefcase. Oh, God. Prince Beefcakes, thank you very much for the generous donation. He, presumably, says, thanks to y'all,

every time I pass the customer service desk at my place of employment, the Home Depot, ancestral home of Boppis. I quietly mutter Bobpice Johnson under my breath. I just thought you should know. Phoebe B. Peabody B. Mercernery Prostitute. Josh. Lightning McClure.

Quief, Big Titty Jesus now in Pog form. Write this on a toddler. Read Inheritance Cycle Guys. Read in there? I think I said that right. B. Franklin, known misogynist. Oh no. Peter, death fucks raw chickens. That's not how anything works.

The Flat Arm Society. Ben's going to find Hoover Porn. Big Titty Jesus 42. Vidy, it's unofficial. The coronavirus. Oh, no. Big Titty Jesus, 42. Bent Ed Rissol.

Is that some sort of joke? Ben Ted Russell. Ben Ted Russell. I don't know. That might just be someone's name. I'm just, because it's got Ben in it. My sense is triggered. Super Nintendo Charmers.

I'm Ben, and I like Lord Brothovich. Funny name, Lord Brasovic. Ben is Sir Schnell. Ben is very tall. Ben is... Sorry, Peter is Seer Hoch? Is that right, Peter?

Chanel is quick. Ben is very fast. Okay, maybe they did that wrong. These are all very generous donations from Kevin, I believe. But they've got different German, presumably not so great translations, maybe. Hock seems to be high, apparently.

But maybe that means tall. Okay, their caption is Peter is. very tall. And Mikey ist ein farty boy. Oh, what does that mean? Which means Mikey's a fine, upstanding gentleman. Oh, thank you. Thank you. We've also got Ben Bon, Ben, Ben, Bonds. Dave Ben's son's full hips.

Alex H. Dr. Pupa, Cooper, Cooper. Nice. Kevin from Con. Dorsal Finn, Tristam, Large Chungus Babylonie. Cockle Bips, Fulton. SpongeBob Shreddy's pants. Oh, nice. Stephen Scodes

Earth Earth 2 giant Peter Right Good A tiny toot Minimally effective PM Boppis Just plain old jimmers Tiny Peter's fluffy wallet

Elbaker 97 A single jalapeno fruit cake Ugh Xavier Ram Ram Ram Monica Mo Lester Flat Arm Salute On a treat day

Lead, Mark RG Is that another one? Can't even tell anymore The names and jokes are kind of blending at this point Hot sauce mouth sex Ben's sauna friend Emily, no lemons damn hoarders COVID-420, the sex virus

Pids Squids Insta jibs Bethins Known racist Mel Gibbon Rubber Baby Bugger Bumpus One Val from Shira greepage greasel greasel there we go

what a triumph holy shit I can I'm only I'm just pleased that those are always very amusing because

God imagine I'm to sit through that if they weren't funny one day I kind of want to read them out and see how long it takes me to get through them I estimate about half an hour of stumbling and fumbling

hey you're welcome to have a go next time oh god I'm slightly terrified now I don't want to know would anybody you like a question. Yeah, I'd love a question. Thank you. Thank you.

Question Master this week. I am question master, question boss. This one comes from our friend, Daniel McIver, at McIver the Mark on Twitter. It's to be our only CV-19 question of the pod yet, but this is kind of a nice little one. Do you have any things you're going to try it and do while self-isolating if it comes to that? He's going to try and catch up on like 12 YouTube channels he's fallen behind on. Do we have any fun little activities we're going to pick up on

or things we're going to do while we're all at home, nice and safe, shielding ourselves? I think I definitely want to try and stream more. That's a thing because I feel like sitting festering indoors is probably not a good idea. So I'm going to sit and fester indoors, but to an audience. Yeah. That's nice.

Yeah. It's creative festering. Exactly. I'm all about creative festering. I'd like to stream more, but it turns out my upload speed isn't as good. as last time I worked from home when I was at videos and I was definitely able to stream.

I guess it's probably because lots of lots more people now are using a 4G network, which is what I use from my parents' place because they live in the country and they don't have fibre. So I'm on like a 4G router with like 200 gigs a month

which is plenty, but it's just the upload speed is so plops. Even if you had it going 24-7 you couldn't do anything fast enough to use of all that day. Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, I'll have I won't really have an issue like uploading files really because I can just leave it going, but it's it's the rate at which I'm able to send that data out to the world. So we'll see.

I'll see how it goes. Maybe like during the day or like early in the morning or something, it might be better. So we'll see. We'll have a feel. I mean, not to not to pile on, but I two, I three, I four would like to, would like to do a bit more streaming, mainly on triple jump because, you know, we are technically working from home. Yeah, of course. So outside of that time, yes, you're video, it's a clock, baby.

No, yeah, that's what I mean to. Yeah, we want to do some more streams while we're able to, especially as, you know, we're not going to be able to necessarily do as much or everything that we used to do on a daily basis when we were working in the office because everybody's now working from home that works for a cultaolic, which is very sensible, and any workplaces that can do that, obviously, they should probably do that. But outside of that, I don't really know that much is actually going to change because I know people say, yes, I'm working from home now, and they sort of do their work in about, you know, two hours and then they walk around naked for the rest of the day. But actually, it turns out, I've got quite a lot to do, and so I am working full days, and Peter is as well. And then, you know, we haven't got any more time to watch things or play things than we had anyway.

Oh, that's true, yeah. And it's not like I was going out every other evening to go, you know, clubbing, which is a thing I'm very passionate about. And I'm sad that I can't do that anymore. Oh, shame. So I don't know that anything's really going to change all that much. No. I just won't be leaving for work. That's fair.

I think it's just kind of nice that I don't have, like, an extra bit of. time on my day that spends, you know, getting to and from work. Yeah. It's like a little pocket of time, but I think it's a valuable one at that. Yeah, roll out of bed, turn the computer on, work away. There we go. Don't shower. Yeah. Don't shower. Just never shower.

Fuck it. Oh. Just piss right there. I thought we were going to edit that at the beginning and now I've said it again. Oh, we're going to have to edit out of the whole podcast. Oh, you were being serious? I thought no. No. Okay. I'm not ashamed. Michael's farted. How many times on camera? Sure.

I draw the line at showering. This is it. I can't have them think I'm not clean. Yeah, the lack of showering was a bit much for me. Should we roll into a thing? Yeah, you know what? Yes, I've got a thing. Some might say, boys, that there is a lot of misinformation,

misses information going around right now. A lot of non-facts and shit statements, as they're known in the news. Yeah. Fuck lies. Fuck lies. Yeah. Shit misinformation.

That's it. Yeah. Arse messages. Ask messages. Thank you. Cockwallop. Dick. Cock wallop.

Dick sounds. You know all the words. We all know the words. Yeah. It's all going round at the moment. So I thought, how about we cut through the, the, pardon my French, cut through the BS. And we go straight to some real fake. news from around the internet world.

Why not? We play a little game. We like to call not The Onion. Or is it The Onion? Did you know? There's a satirical news website on the internet called The Onion. Contained within are fake news stories that are so outrageous that, you know, you can sort of tell they're not real.

But sometimes they can sort of trick you into thinking, oh, wow, that sounds kind of feasible. However, life imitates art and the real world. often produces stories that are just as ridiculous. And there's a subreddit dedicated to stories that sound like they should be on satirical website, The Onion, but in fact they are real. It's called Not The Onion, and I've assembled five news stories. Some of them might be from The Onion, the satirical news website.

Some of them might be real news stories posted on Not the Onion, the Reddit. Would you guys like to guess? You may or may not have done a little tiny tweakums to some of the wording, right? Correct. It's entirely possible that some of them might be changed to stealthily camouflage themselves in. Sneaky. Are you guys ready? I'm going to run through the five headlines one at a time.

You can have a little discussion about each one as we go. And then I'll run through them again and you tell me which ones are real and which ones are fake. Oh, I will. Oh, sock it to me. Government workers disciplined after spending over an hour competing to see who could wash their hands. the longest. Oh, that sounds kind of fun, actually. I've been getting dry hands recently because of how much I've been washing.

And I think at the end of an hour, I'd be red raw. But I think if I started that competition, I'd be in there until I was like, I was just bones. Just bones. Unless you were at home. If you were working from home, you wouldn't be washing your hands at all. You don't do any washing. Oh, well, you see, that's where a ferret poo comes in. Oh, boy.

Nature's soap Yeah Oh, I really hope that's real That sounds like something that could happen I think personally that's the onion But we'll carry on Oh, okay My hands are so clean

I'm going to pass some new skin Number two Coronavirus conference gets cancelled Because of coronavirus Okay I think I do actually know that this is true Yeah I mean that's got to be

hasn't it Headline 3 Cops take seized SUV for joyride owner tracks car locks them inside for three hours Wow Yes I think that's true

Yeah Florida man with terminal illness Trashes coffee shop yelling about how he'll dress up as coronavirus for Halloween Oh my God Florida man What is that even as a threat

I'm going to dress up as something threatening So help me God I will dress as coronavirus And you try and stop me Oh next year I'll come in as a dagger Then you'll all be sorry I think that's true Okay

Final one Wanted cow that has evaded US police since January Quote Faster than it looks What is it you Ben I'm not to wait That sounds like I was calling you a cow there Wow

Hey I'll be a Fast cow. Yeah, fast cow is a good cow. Oh, wow. I feel like a wanted cow is a thing that would exist. That's a tricky one. Especially in America. Yeah, fast cows over there.

All genetically modified. Look at them go. Oof. Oh, boy, he's moving. Little cow, a little cow joke. I like it. Don't look it, Ben. Hey.

Go on, give us another one. Meh, meh, meh. Well done, everyone. You guys ready to run through and say which ones you think are real? Yeah. That's Wayne. Okay, first one. Government workers disciplined after spending over an hour competing to see who could wash their hands the longest.

I think after hearing the others, I'm going to say it onion. I think onion. That is onion. Oh, no. That is a reworked title. A very reworked title to sort of try and make it blend in a little. Would you like to hear the original title? Yes, please.

Co-workers at bathroom sink locked intense standoff over who's going to wash their hands longer. That is an Onion article. It's not true. That's fake news. Next one. Coronavirus conference gets cancelled because of coronavirus. Yeah, it's true.

Yeah, I think I saw this. Surely this is a conference set up by professionals and you know the virus and should have assumed, hey, maybe we shouldn't have large gatherings of people. So it's a bit weird that it even existed to begin with. Well, I think because coronavirus, I mean, what we're really dealing with here is COVID-19, which is one of four coronaviruses that are known and exist. Are it like the chaos emeralds?

We catch them all of them. Yeah, exactly. So I think like other coronaviruses are like, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, internet, but like the common cold and like influenza, I think are both, maybe not. not influenza, but stuff like that. So there are the known ones. So this conference is like annual or every couple of years or whatever, and they have it all the time.

They have it regularly to talk about these other viruses. And then a really bad coronavirus came out of nowhere, COVID-19. And that is what's caused the cancellation. So, yeah. That makes sense. It's true. It's a real story. The Council on Foreign Relations has cancelled a roundtable called Doing Business

under coronavirus scheduled for Friday in New York due to the spread of the infection itself. Whoops. That's a real story. Next one. Cops take seized SUV for Joyride. Owner Traxcar locks them inside for three hours. This is a tough...

I'm trying to think if there's like an onion counterpart headlined to do this. Yeah, I can't really... Unless this has been heavily, heavily reworded, I can't see this being like reworded. did in an amusing, onion-y way. So I think it must be real. Yeah, that's called real. Three policemen had a harrowing time on Wednesday

for taking a ride in a seized sports utility vehicle to Lackimper-Cerry District, I think, as the owner used the global positioning system to track down the car and got it locked. Got it locked. And got it locked. What is that? Got it locked.

I think it's an Indian news website there. The whole website's in English. I think there's just a fun little mistranslation there, perhaps. He got it locked. It's a lock. Sorry, how did they describe the state of the policeman at the beginning of that sentence? It's like they had, three policemen had a harrowing time. A harrowing time after stealing a vehicle. What a shame. Yeah. They were, they remained stranded inside the vehicle for over three hours after the owner located the car. Oh, wow. Forty-three kilometers away. And got it locked. Did this happen in India, do you know?

Yeah, I think so. Ooh, they must have been a bit spicy in that car. Like, it would have been so hot. Yeah, it would have been unpleasant, wouldn't it? Oh, okay, maybe that, okay, fair enough. Maybe it is a bit harrowing, but still, you know, don't steal cars. Don't steal a car. Don't steal a car.

Don't do it. New story four. Florida man with terminal illness trash is coffee shop, yelling about how he'll dress up as coronavirus for Halloween. I don't know what to think of this one. I have a theory here. I think this is a reworded onion article, and in rewording it, Ben,

knowing that we've done Florida Man before on the podcast, added in the words Florida Man. So I think onion. Let's go onion. Sherlock Peter over there. Oh, nice and done. This one was a very difficult one to hide. I went with the fact that he had a,

terminal illness and therefore probably wouldn't see Halloween, to pay homage to the original title, which was, I can't wait to dress up as the coronavirus for Halloween, says man who will be dead by May. Oh, wow. That was the best I could do with that headline. Finally, wanted cow that has evaded US police since January, quote, faster than it looks. I'm stuck now, because we've had two onions. and I think this is the hardest one.

I saw a video a couple of months back of like, you know, like I must have been like a slothouse truck or something, but they left the back door open and just these cows were spilling on the street as the car as the truck drove away and they just kind of fled through this town and wreaked havoc. And I want to believe this is one of these cows that's, you know, run free and that has been a wanted criminal since. I think is, I just wonder whether the police would chase down a cow. for that long.

Like, I get that maybe in the immediate aftermath of some bovine incursions on a road or something, they might go and, you know, try and clear it up, make sure there's no danger. But months later, I think I feel like the police would be like, look, the cow got away, deal with it, you know? So I'm going to say onion, but you can go with what you want, Mikey. I want to stick with that. That's true. Okay.

A cow described it as faster than it. looks is wanted by U.S. police after avoiding capture for over a month. The elusive female has been on the loose in South Florida since late January. I should have gone with Florida cow. And local authorities have now issued a wanted poster for her. Would you like to see it? Oh, I'd love to. I hope it's just cow.jpeg.

They've not even got a photo of the actual cow. It does look like they took a photo of this cow from a distance because it was going so fast. There we go. Description Female cow Brown with a white head Faster than it looks Talented fence jumper

enjoys pools This cow is not dangerous Near Sheridan Street In I-75 It looks like It looks like a photo It's the same quality And style of photo

As like a picture of the Loch Ness monster Or something You know what I mean It looks like it It's like a British big cat or something the beast of Bodman in someone's field like half a mile away

I'm sure this cow exists I'm looking at this picture and because of its white face it just kind of looks like a trapezoid with legs yeah it does it does it looks like a child's drawing of

of any animal yeah it could very easily be a sheep that's just got brown on it couldn't it? Yeah it looks very much like a sheep so if you're in that area

in America, keep an eye out for that. The cow's not considered dangerous, but it has been known to walk into the roadway. The pending charges, Peter, will you take those for me? The pending charges, moving violations, uttering false checks, and fleeing and eluding police. That's not even a pun.

They ran out of puns for that one, I guess. They did. I will tweet the image of that poster just for people so they can come back and look at it. I'll laugh at laughter. Oh, God. Help. That's my thing.

I love it. Sorry, just sticking with this cow. Are those first two charges, I mean, they're not even real. Like, they're just an excuse to put those two puns in. Moving violations and uttering false checks. I don't even know what that means as a non-pun. Udering false checks.

What even, what is that? What does that mean? I don't. know. I mean, I don't know. My favorite bit of this poster is that it kind of reads like a Tinder profile faster than I look. I'm a talented fence jumper and I enjoy pools. Female cow in your area. Very good. In your pool. Thank you, Ben. Beautiful. You're welcome. It's time for a question. Yeah. For everybody's favorite, Ben Dane Smith at Ben Dane Smith on Twitter. He wants us to rank some holidays. So I'm going to type him out and chat just reference, but first of all is your birthday. Next of all is Easter. We got Christmas. We got Valentine's Bonfire Day. Bonfire evening. Bonfire. Let's say bonfire day. Bonfire night. Bonfire night. Well, fuck it. We'll change it. This year. We're doing fires in the daytime. And lastly, Halloween. Any of you got a favorite out of these? Christmas.

Really? Really. I just love Christmas so much. And I know lots of people don't and they find it really stressful and their families argue and you know they don't like Christmas shopping because it's a nightmare. I just there's just something about it that like I know like all those things are true and I'm not saying that when my family get together we all get on fine or that the towns that I shop in aren't absolutely rammed but I just love I love the sense of festivity when you're in town centre on Christmas shopping day and there's like normally a market on and you know even though everyone's pushing around I still kind of feel like we're all we're all together preparing for a nice thing

it's like the inverse of coronavirus oh there we go yeah brings everyone together yeah yeah I yeah for some reason I just don't feel any strong feelings towards Christmas anymore but I agree it is it's kind of a sense of familiarity and like oh let's go back to a nice time I guess and it's like let's all just sit together watch some Wallace and Grommet or at level 7 a.m. on 2 and enjoy our dinner meals. That's the other aspect of it I like. I'm not even that into the presents.

Like, of course, I like to get presents. I like to give presents as well. But like, I really like, even if it's not Christmas, I really enjoy just sitting in like the living room with my family. And like, even if we're not watching Wallace and Gromit, but, you know, let's watch Wallace and Gromit if we can. But if we're not, you know, just having a chat, playing some board games.

And that happens especially often at Christmas. which is why I like it so much. Oh, fair enough. Stick some currency up your asshole. Yeah, literally. Not even... I mean, maybe we won't do that this year for hygiene reasons.

Oh, coronavirus takes another victim. Fucking, where else can it take from us? Jesus. Maybe stick it up our noses or in our mouths. Yeah. That seems better. It's get weird with it, right? That'd be strange.

Your mouth? You could just like pretend the coins there, you know, just kind of have like an improvised session of miming. That'd be quite... Well, who's to say, the economy won't have entirely collapsed by Christmas. Maybe those stinky coins will be very valuable. Or worth nothing at all.

Maybe we'll just stick a bottle of hand sanitizer up our bombs. That'd be nice, yeah, hygienic. Yeah. What's your favourite holiday, Michael? Oh, well, you see, now you've said, I kind of disagree with Christmas a bit, but I'm looking at this list. I think Bonfire Night would potentially be such a cool holiday. Michael, pronounce it correctly, please.

Well, Boba Bonfire. yes thanks ben as i know um in brighton there's quite a big kind of bonfire night's quite important to the community and a big boy harry at the oxcast he's quite involved with um the bonfire night shenanigans there and they go all out on it it's like proper old school like people getting dressed up setting a big fires very like almost kind of pagan and i think if if i had a bonfire night like that, that would so be my favorite thing. I like Halloween, although I don't like dressing up, but I do like the general spookums of the whole, whole season.

Yeah. You know, I'm going to have to say Christmas. After thinking through and deliberating, it's, it's, you're right. It's a nice, good, extend a bit of time to yourself, well, not to yourself, but a good bit of time to do things with the family. Yeah. I do like a good, a good fire festival of some kind. I mean, there, you guys may have seen on my Instagram and my Twitter.

that this wasn't bonfire this was I guess the closest holiday is Valentine's but it's it's a bit before then it's like an old pagan day called imolk which is I've seen something online that said it's it translates as

use milk and it's it's to signify the times when like the lambing season begins I don't know if that's actually true I think it's just conjecture but anyway it's early February and they do this huge well relatively big bombfire and fireworks in the little rural village near my parents where they're like chasing away

Jack Frost kind of thing. There's like this guy dressed as Jack Frost and a guy comes out and chases him away who's dressed as like spring or summer or something. And that's really cool. And it is that kind of, there's all these people wearing masks and like playing music like something out of the Wicca Man. And that's really good. That sounds amazing. Yeah, it's cool. Nice. Yeah. Have you ever had to choose the sacrifice for that? No, no, it's The Sacrifice is selected by the local PTA They line up all the virgins of the village

There aren't many because I live here But yeah It's good Oh, does anyone have a least favourite out of that list Probably Valentine's Day is a bullshit day, right? It is a bit, yeah It is, I mean, even as a guy in a relationship

I think it's a bit bullshit Like, you know, just be kind all year Whoa. Every day is Valentine's 3. I'm not a big birthday boy personally. I don't like celebrating my own birthday. No, I don't like it either. I find it to be a lot of pressure.

I don't like to be, I don't like for all the attention to be on me. I don't like that. I find it very uncomfortable. So I tend not to do anything for my birthday at all. I quite like a birthday, but mine might be affected by, you know, social distancing this year. It's coming up. It's in less than a month's time. Oh, no. Well, we'll have a big Skype get together. We'll get hammered at your webcam.

We'll get you an e-cake. You have a big picture of a cake, Peter? Lovely, yeah. Then we've not had your favourite of that list, I don't think, have we? I said Christmas, but I will also say that I do enjoy bonfire night. That's a tradition that we have. In my family every year, it doesn't happen on actual Guy Fawkes Night. You just lighten fires when you feel like it. Like whenever, just a few times a year, just set some cars on fire and stuff. Nice, yeah. We usually tie in with my granddad's birthday, which is in early November.

Oh, I'd look. If that was my birthday, yeah, I'd be all about my birthday. Yeah, that's a great way to celebrate. In that period, anyway. So all of us get together and we have a bonfire and some fireworks, and there's soup, and then there's burgers and hot dogs, and then there's brownies and lots of alcohol. And, you know, it's something that I'm trying to appreciate. a little more as the number of these is probably starting to dwindle now, sadly.

So it's, you know, it's something that you want to make the most of because I wouldn't celebrate bonfire knife off of my own volition. No, yeah. But it's a very much a family thing. I quite like the sounds of that. It sounds like a hot Christmas kind of thing. Hot Christmas. Oh, baby.

That is one. Hot Christmas. Well, so between us, I think we've put Christmas and bonfire up there, Valentine's down. Yeah. Easter's shit. Easter can get in the bed as well. Pretty shit.

Unless you're religious, it serves no purpose apart from chocolate eggs. Yeah. But even for you, Peter, you know, your choice is limited. Well, and even, you know, I used to have white chocolate eggs, but now I can't even have, like, most of those because they have dairy in them. I'm sure there's some good vegan white chocolate eggs. Vegan white chocolate's really nice. I've been having some of that.

Someone sent some in to a triple jump. I really enjoyed it. You know what we should come up with for you, Peter? What? Instead of you having to explain every time that you're lactose intolerant, we should come up with something that you say after you say, I can't have this anymore since dot, dot, dot. I vote for since the fire.

Since the fire, yeah. Since the criminal charges. Since the accident's another good one. I do like the accident. It's a bit more kind of, ooh, what could he possibly mean by that? And then never explain. Since the conviction, maybe. Oh, yeah.

You might paint yourself into a corner with that one. It's scandal pending. But if you never explain what the scandal is, I like that. It makes Peter seem like a bad boy. Yeah. Yeah, he can't have chocolate eggs anymore. Peter Austin, bad boy. Everyone knows it.

The police stopped him from eating chocolate. Yeah. Stop that guy. He's too fast. Talented fence jumper and he enjoys balls. Well, there we go. We vaguely ranked those. I think if we have to go through a number,

then we'll be here all night, but yeah. We're given the gist. Thank you, Ben, Dan, Smith for that. Thank you, Ben, Dan, Smith. Wonderful list. I'm going to do my thing. Oh, okay. I'm going to do my thing.

So, I was kind of thinking, right now, it's like, we seem to be in the era of trends. There's always something that people want to do. Like, there's always something that people are all joining together and kind of doing and acting out. And it's easier than ever because of, you know, the beauty of the internet, you can share something and things can keep up traction and just

grow and exponentially go fucking wild. So I thought, did we ever have like, you know, big fads and stuff back in the olden days, back when our grandparents were around and stuff? And so I did a bit of Googling and I found three wonderful little old fads. I want to share with you all today. Oh, this sounds charming, Michael. Absolutely charming. Can I ask before we get started? Yes. How much farting can we expect? I do not like the way you said Farting How much farting

It's a bit much for me I'm proud to announce This is a fart-free podcast Bullshit It's gonna happen Up until now it's fine Don't jinx it, please I'm trying to be a good boy

Please tell us about your quaint, lovely trends First of all we've got phone booth stuffing Oh, I'm aware of this vaguely, yeah. Yeah, it's a weird one. Well, of course, Peter, you did this growing up. Yeah, well, literally, there was nothing else to do.

The phone booth, the phone inside didn't work. You know, it was just a prop, so. It's kind of, to me, it's kind of like old style planking, but with a more interesting twist. So I think you can probably guess what the objective here is. Gather some friends, find a photo booth, and see how many people you can fit in there I think the origins of it.

How did you say photo booth? Sorry, phone booth. Oh, right, yeah, okay. I might have misspoke. So it started when 25 college students from a South African university sent a photo of themselves to the Guinness Book of World Records. So all 25 of them all stuffed in there, and they were lucky enough to be granted the World Record

because, of course, no one else had thought to do this at this point. So on March 20th, 1959, they were officially the World Record Holders. but oh boy that was about to change and the booth stuffing craze spread from South Africa to the rest of the globe although it was mostly concentrated in like American colleges so these students were particularly committed to the art form they'd skip class

to go form booth stuffing they'd dieted and they went out recruiting people to help them out in their cause dieted God yeah well skinny legends only this booth there's several techniques at play here from cross-hatching, which I think I can kind of picture it, but I think I just

means mangling as many bodies as you can in that one place, or to actually physically tipping over the phone booth, I guess to give them a bit more leverage and how many people can get in there. Yeah. There's like even accounts of students incorporating their geometry studies into it to kind of optimize the positioning of how things go. Wow. Sadly, the fad was pretty short-lived. It died in the same year. As did 25 people in a horrible accident. After the accident. We don't do it anymore.

But there was a few kind of spin-off fads that were born from this. These didn't have quite the same impact, but we had car cramming, outhouse cramming, and tree stuffing. Outhouse cramming sounds absolutely dire. It does. Diarrhea, it sounds. Oh, normal. Yeah, it reminds me of I watch a lot of

the two Ronnie's, you know, the old sketch show with Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett and they do a lot of sketches set at parties. It was one of their like signature sort of styles and quite often

there's a reference to this is from like the 70s or the 80s and quite often like someone goes oh let's all play sardines or last time we came here we played sardines which you know

it still still sort of exists as a game today, but I think back in the day, like, adults used to all play it together, like young adults, and it was a bit of a sexy time. I think you would try and get yourself stuffed into a cupboard with, like, two other women or whatever. Oh, you open the door when you find me, farty boy Johnson. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. Next is pool sitting. So this is quite literally the act of sitting upon a high pool. This started life, well, as a fad, in the mid-term.

late 1920s, but this is more than just people climbing atop pools and, you know, immediately getting back down. This is an endurance sport. This is all about how long you can last up there. So the art form of Paul sitting has its roots in stillitism. On other words, these were pillar saints and kind of like the ancient world. These were literally saints who would just sit atop a kind of pillar. They live there, preach fast and kind of pray for their entire lives. I do recommend Googling Pillar Saints. There's some quality quality illustrations of what it looks like, and it looks very fun. But the modern incarnation was started by a stunt actor. In 1924, he sat atop a pool for a solid 13 hours and 13 minutes. And as a starting

point, you know, that's pretty good. That's kind of impressive. If you're going to start something, 30 hours is pretty good. Yeah. But there's nothing compared to the future efforts. Slowly, these record started mounting 12 days, 17 days, 21 days. A person called Bill Penfield. Oh, Ben's just sent a picture of a pool of a pillar saint. Not what I expected. Really not at all what I expected. I mean, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a saint of a pool. What more could you ask for? No, but it looks like a fucking puppet show. It's just sort of sticking his head out. It's like a conjuring trick. Everybody at home, please Google their pillar sense. It's, Beautiful.

I'll stick it in the chain on Twitter. It's so weird that they get a preview of these images with no context and then they can go and look afterwards

at what it all meant. It's an interactive experience. Yeah, just out of order. So in the poor sitting world, a person called Bill Pennfield sat for 51 days and 20 hours before a thunderstorm

forced him down from his high position. There's also prolific sitters out there in the world. From 1933 to 1963, Richard Blandy claimed various records from 77 days, 78 days, 125 days, until the day died in 1974, when the pole, which he was sitting on, sitting on, collapsed. Oh, Jesus. If you're going to die, I mean, you may as well do it, doing what you love, sitting in a high place. Do you want to have a guess at what the longest anyone has sat on a pole is? Oh God 230 days A little bit higher

490 days Oh very close Ben 439 God Oh Jesus Over a year Yeah This is by someone who is protesting

The rising gasoline prices I don't think he had much luck with it I bet he was disappointed when he came back down and saw how much the prices had gone up in a year. It's like, hey, bloody heck. Yeah, I'm going back up the pool. I know you're all, like, the biggest question here is, what did people do for the bathroom in these pools?

Oh, I forgot about that. There's a surprising lack of information online about that. You'll be glad to know. Oh, boom. I was like, like, in the, like, I think in some newer records, and people brought up, like, little chemical toilets that they'd dump whenever they got filled. but in the early days, I don't know what they were doing.

Maybe they were just squatting up on top of the pool and just letting all hang out. Did David Blaine ever stand on a pole? I know he sat in boxes and stuff up in the sky, but I don't know if he ever just sat. Oh, he did? He did. Did he? Yeah. Stop sharing poll memes.

It's very... Oh, yeah, it was David Blaine's vertigo. Right. Did it say how long he did it for? Yeah, how long did he last? Oh, David Blaine. Let's have a quick Google. Oh, 35 hours.

Is that it? Oh, to be fair, it's 100 foot high. Oh, yeah. That's a high, narrow pole. Sorry, David. That is actually quite impressive. And he's standing on it as well. He's not sitting, so the legs would give out after, like, more than a day standing up.

I forgot that at the end. He just jumped off it into a part of cardboard boxes. Oh, yeah, a couple boxes. Yeah. Because I'm aware now as a grown man that they do actually use cover boxes for things like that, like in stunts and stuff. But I remember as a kid thinking that that was just an extra bit of flourish. Like they thought, oh, what can we do?

Oh, let's make him learn in a pile of boxes that fall over and make a mess. Do a flip. Yeah, exactly. I think he did do a flip. I think he did a forward flip. Oh, I hope he did. That would be badass. What a rad dude.

Yeah. And our last of the weird trends. This is by far the weirdest one that a lot. goldfish swallowing Oh Yeah So not exclusive to jackass Turns out

Goldfish swallowing swept the American nation in the 1930s And people just couldn't stop The exact origins aren't clear I'm not really sure why people started But in a letter to the New York Times In the 60s

Someone stated that it was started by a man named Lothrop Withington, Jr., which is a stellar name So good they named him twice It sounds like someone who would challenge someone to eat a fish. He was a freshman at Harvard University, and he swallowed a fish to win $10 as part of his bet to become class president. Brilliant. What a president.

Presidential. And then from this, he kind of word spread, I guess. Oh, do you hear that guy at Harvard who swallowed a fish? And let's try that as well. And slowly, kind of all the major colleges in America had people. swallowing fish. And yeah, and I just kept growing until the colleges kind of decided, maybe guys, it's not very good for our, you know, reputation if we've got students sitting around swallowing fishes. So they started to expel anyone they caught in the act.

And do you want to know what the recommended maximum number of goldfishes a human male can swallow before it's dangerous? What? Yeah, go on. Three? I think ideally it'd be one, but no. A professor, you know, a professor, you know, you. UCLA, I'm not sure what his research was, but he concluded that you could eat up to 150 and you could still be safe. Oh, God. I mean, I'm sure, like, you won't die, but that's got to be uncomfortable having fishies

flapping around in your stomach acid. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jesus. There we go. A nice little ending to that. Let's think about fishies in our stomach. I love how it ended on a slightly more grim thing, like sort of as we approach modern day, the trends start to get weird, like eating Tidepods.

Yeah, well, I think that's, it's all the same. Like, planking is phone booth stuffing, tidepots is the fish. It's all reiterated if we've all done it before. Yeah. Would anybody like a question? Yes, please. Yeah. Dr. Rick Daglis, MD at Wamex Tilliams, wants to know,

if we could create any Lego set with, you know, official mini figures, etc., What would your ideal Lego set be? Maybe this is just for you, or maybe you sell this to the public, as you know, like, hey, here's Ben's Lego set. Yeah, that's just me. And Peter, sorry, Peter. No, no. I'm just okay. I'm thinking.

I'm thinking. I would really love to do a video set Lego. Well, yeah, of course. Yeah. I think for my own, like, personal things, I would love just like a New York City street but like a really kind of really detailed one because i know there's some really cool lego sets that are like you know building facades and stuff and kind of big tower blocks and stuff but i want just like a very realistic looking a stoop in some apartments with a fire escape you know that kind

of stuff yeah it sounds good i like the idea of that uh oh god uh what's something you would like to like you know display in your house that you wouldn't be embarrassed of or maybe you want something to be embarrassed of. I would, I'd quite like to build that scene from Avengers Endgame where perhaps the camera is facing the goodies as they all charge together down the hill and it's got all the superheroes in it with the destructive scenery and the background and stuff and some of them are flying and some of them are running and all sorts. I think that would be a cool, cool piece to display.

That would be fun. I would quite like the top of the Empire State building with a big King Kong on it with a plane in his hand. Oh, that would be so cool. It's like a really big one. It's like nearly, it's like as tall as a person and it's got loads of bricks in it. Fuck, yeah. Right, Lego, if you're listening, make these ideas come true. Do it.

Sick. Ben. Oh, no, I'm sorry, not Ben. I don't know why I keep going to Ben. Yeah. Peter. What's up? Hello, sorry, hello, Peter.

Hello. Would you like to do your fang? I would. We return this week or this fortnight to the Daily Mirror. Oh, no. Was that one the bad ones? Well, one of the good ones, but it's left-leaning. It's left-leaning, but it's a tabloid, so, yeah.

Kids Fury, after mom's embarrassing mix-up with crayon outfits for school dress-up day. Okay. So you're wondering where this is going. Leanne Nicole Evans spent an evening making her children Charlie and Chloe crayon outfits for a dress-up day at school. But there was one thing she really should have checked. Now, I'm going to, before I do anything, send you a picture of the children in their crayon outfits. So they were going to school for dress-up day as little creola crayons.

It's kind of cute. Kind of cute, yeah. Nothing too wrong with that. Right, here we go. A mom had to treat her kids to a fun day out after her awkward fancy dress mix-up left them extremely embarrassed at school. Leanne Nicole Evans knew her children,

Charlie 8 and Chloe 5, had a dress-up as a crayon day coming up at school. So she set to work making their outfits. She made matching outfits in different colours, blue for Charlie and pink for Chloe, using a large piece of coloured card, which she tied around their neck.

with string and cone hats. Leanne Nicol, this is her first name, Leanne Nicole, is hyphenated, from Worcestershire, told Mirror Online, I made their outfits Sunday evening and I dressed them in it for school Monday morning. My mom took them to school for me.

But shortly after the kids were dropped off, Leanne Nicole got a call from her mom alerting her to an unfortunate error. She said, I got a phone call from my mom saying, no one else was dressed up. I checked the school website, and it was the complete.

wrong day and month oh dear oh no thankfully the school did everything they could to save the situation for Charlie and Chloe wiping the face paint off

and giving them spare uniform to wear for the day but it's fair to say the kids weren't happy with poor Leanne Nicole she said my kids came home and were mad at me

saying I had got the wrong day and they looked like absolute wallies oh no not wallies wallies spelt W-O-L-L-L-Y-E Yes, Wollies.

I had to bribe them to forgive me. I gave them sweets and a trip out wherever they wanted to go on the weekend. Well, at least this means the impressive costumes are ready to go but when the actual date arrives. Yay. So it's not a hugely comprehensive story,

but the fact that there's a photo of the two of them standing in their crayon outfits and knowing that they marched into school while everyone else was in their uniform is, you know, it amuses me to an extent. Oh, God. So they got the wrong day and month.

And month, yeah. It's not even like, yeah, I don't know how that happened. Oh, bless. Imagine, though, you're like there in the schoolyard, waiting for the school day to start. And you see your two friends rock up. Both dressed as what looked like gnomes in the distance. Oh, wait, they're crayons. Imagine stepping out of the car dressed as that.

Maybe as you walk up to the school door, you don't. don't happen to see anyone. Maybe you've arrived quite early or quite late. You step into the building and just the corridor is full of kids in black and grey. And you've got your cone hat on and your face is painted pink. That's genuine. What a wally. I was going to say, in Charlie in the chocolate factory, is it violet Beauregard?

Yeah. Yeah, the one on the right looks like. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. it's like because this is the kind of thing that's like literally the stuff of nightmares for a lot of people recurring dreams if you know like turning up to school that the uniform or naked or something and this actually happened to them this is going to have lasting effects on these kids it is they got nice days out yeah did it say where they went no it doesn't say no

just says she had to bribe them with a fun day out god wrong day and month and they went to school like that. Absolute disaster. Yeah. I do love that schools are so insistent on, you know, keeping to uniform policy. That didn't even go, oh, you know what, you can just wash your face. We'll let you stain your jeans and stuff.

Nope, got to go get the smelly old spare uniform from the bucket. Put that on. This is your fault, kids. Oh, yeah, the spare uniform. Yeah, for those who aren't able to look at the Twitter thread of images for this podcast, the kids do have like t-shirt and trousers and stuff underneath their cardboard

crayon outfits but yeah as Mikey says they weren't just allowed to wear that they had to then dress up in the stinky uniform the stinky form the pooniform yes perfect also the kid the boy whose face is meant to be blue

it looks almost green to me he looks like a zombie yeah he looks very pale that was the colour he went when he realised her it was the wrong day maybe he knows she knows yeah she's really embarrassed

she's got that kind of half smile going on it's like hmm no this isn't right yeah oh thank you very much for sharing Peter I'm going to stare at this image indefinitely now you welcome thank you Peter it wasn't the most complex you know wild story we've ever had but it's just the image

just that photo it got me had those two just a couple of crayons aren't just a pair of wollies. A pair of wollies. That was, was that the kids' words, do you think? I think, uh, it was in a quote, but it may have come from the mum. She, yeah, she said they look, that they said they look like absolute wallies. Thanks, mum. Excellent. Would you all like one last question? Yes, please. Yes. This is from our friend Josh Bald at Josh Bold on Twitter. Imagine get your own back as relaunched. And you three, are invited on as contestants.

Who do you want to get your own back on and who the three would win the challenges to get to the gunge round? Oh, that's a good question. Who do you want a gunge? I don't know if I... I'm a very grudge-holding person. I'm trying to think if there's anyone I'd like to gunge.

I think I remember as a kid, me and my friend were playing in the garages as we did because that's the only bit of open space we had near the house and we had set up like a little impromptu scooter ramp for our scooters and my friend's like oh let me have a quick go on yours and the only bloody went and snapped my scooter when he landed and I was heartbroken it was such well it wasn't a good scooter but it was my scooter it was the principle of it and he never apologised

He was like, oops, sorry about that. Well, he did apologize, but not like, you know, meaningfully. And he didn't mean it. Yeah, he's like, John O, what do you think you're doing? John, you dick. So I had to go home to explain to my parents, and I didn't get a new scooter for quite some time. So I missed out on scooter time for many weeks. I hope you borrowed, I heard Jono let you borrow his sometimes.

He did, he did. He wasn't that bad. I had to think I just, I just missed my scooter as all. I still, still, still want it back. you're getting gunged I've thought of an answer they used to sometimes have like teachers on didn't they it was always like a grown-up of some kind

it was normally like a parent but sometimes teachers I would I would have Mrs. Gibbon on who was the maths teacher at the school where I was told that she did not want my comments Peter Austin wow

that one that one where on my first day she was saying this is what we're going to do today, and the kid next to me was going, that's easy. And then she said, and then in the middle of the lesson, we're going to do this. And then, like, three kids were going, that's easy. And then she said, and finally we're going to end the lesson by doing this. And I joined in, that's easy.

Stand up. What's your name? We do not want your comments, Peter Austin. Oh, bless you. Stuck with me forever. Mrs. Gibbon. What a bitch. What rude woman. When you say Mrs. Gibbon, are you saying MRS Gibbon? are you saying miss apostrophe s gibbon her gibbon her gibbon yeah mrs gibbon miss is gibbon i would specifically put

miss is gibbon i would specifically put the teachers gibbon on get your own back well these are important things you know because i don't necessarily want to compete with an animal yeah oh that's true yeah yeah it could be dangerous also i but i think it would be very very unethical to strap a gibbon to a sort of little mini roller coaster and send it down a ramp into a pool of gunge. It wouldn't know what was going on. I mean, that mental picture is quite fun.

I think it would have a wonderful time. Yeah. I think it would love it. Absolutely love it. Love it. The monkey signed a bit of paper before going live. It was happy to do it. Yeah, look, it's doing it, even though it's mauling the camera.

God, I have absolutely no idea. I'm really struggling to think of someone that I'd strap in to the death ride. Well, celebrity, is anyone just in the public eye he just wanted to put in the death ride as he... Oh, let's get a Pierce Morgan in the death ride. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tear that, Pierce. Strap that dickhead in.

Well, I think if that's your answer, I have a very good idea who would win. I think me and Mikey would deliberately lose just so Pierce Morgan got gunked. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. God, that would be a great, like, comeback for Get Your Own Back. Yeah, it would.

Hated public figures in that Death Ride. I like calling it a Death Ride. It's really fun. Yeah, they all died at the end, didn't they? Yeah. It was a vat of acid. You never saw them again, so. Yeah, we got no proof.

No, it wasn't actually acid, but when they took them out and cleaned them off, they did shoot them afterwards. Yeah. And plus, I mean, the benefit of bringing back Get Your Own back. There's more Dave on the tele. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we want. That's what we want. In these times. Dave! Yeah. My ex-o suits been burned. Well, thank you very much, boys. That's, that's my questions. Wonderful. Thank you, Michael. Thank you so much. Thank you, Mikey. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, sir.

Much. Would you guys like a little bit more of the Hoover story? Oh, yes, please. Always. So, I looked it off online, didn't I? I was looking up this Hoover. I needed some help. Yeah. I'm trying to remember exactly where I was. Yeah, I don't specifically remember you saying that you did that, but I'll go with that. Okay, so I, you know, I was looking up the Hoover, trying to find some instructions for how to make it work, because I turned it on and it didn't work.

What am I going to do? It didn't work. It didn't work. And I did some Googling around. I went on Dyson Dyson Oh, you got Dyson

Nice Dyson Nice, Dyson Michael Dyson But it was a really knackard old looking thing Yellow and grey was the design

Proper Proper unit And it came with the flat As I said You know 10 years ago When I started This story

And so I don't really know anything about it I looked up online I was like surely there's some sort of code I was flipping the hoover around getting dust all over my hands

And eventually I found some sort of code, product code, Googled it, tracked it down. It was the oldest model that they supported online. Nice. Lucky. So I was like, God, how old is this thing? And I looked it up, and you'll never guess how old it was.

How old was it, Ben? Tell me the answer. My Hoover was manufactured in 1998. Nice. going to say we'll find out next time. Yeah, that was a relief. It was manufactured in 1998. God.

Is that, sorry, is this the story? Is this the end of the story? Is this why you were telling this? No. It was 22 years old when it died. Right. And presumably hadn't been at full effectiveness for a while. But then it just sort of teetered over the edge.

So I downloaded the schematics. And I was like, okay, I'm going to have to have a look through these schematics. and try and work out what's wrong with it, I suppose, because, God forbid, I buy a new Hoover. And so I started taking it apart and put it all back together. And you'll never guess what happened when I turned it on afterwards.

What happened? What happened? Let me just have to find out next one. It'll be 2098 by the time we hear. What happened to anything over? Thank you so much for listening everybody to this podcast. Very much appreciated. Did you know if you go to store.orgscast.com,

you can find some sort of Vidyat's merch isn't that right, Michael? Oh, you are absolutely right. And as I pull up Store.orgascast.com myself, let's see what fine offerings we got. We've got a hat that says Barry's hat on it. Hat. Wow. Hat. And we've got also the PC Master Race embroidered shirt.

Wow, look at that. If you like that, you can go on there and use code Vidiots for 10% off everything on the Yorkscast store. But please do use that money to buy some vast stuff. Go on. Treat yourself. You need a hoodie. Get a video PS1 hoodie, do it.

Yeah. Yeah, go on. Right, just hover your mouse over, add to cart. Yeah, that's it. Thank you. Right. Use code vidiots. I'll check out 10% of everything.

Go on. Add another one. Go on. Oh, yeah. Good work. Go on. Another one. That's too many.

That's too many. That's put some back. Put some back. Save some for the others. Yeah, stop panicking. There's literally plenty for everyone. Don't worry. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com, forward slash

Vidiotsefish or Twitch.tv, TV, forward slash video. Mikey did a stream the other day. Yeah, I did. I had a fun time. I played some VR. And the Vod will probably be on the YouTube's as I speak now, so you can go and catch up on what you missed. It was a lot of good fun.

My leg still hurt, though. Turns out like standing and jumping around for three hours is a bit of a workout. See, that's why I don't like VR. That's why I have to sit down to play VR. David Blame is standing on a pole for 36 hours, mate. Oh, that's true. Okay, maybe I'll do a 36-hour live stream of VR.

I'll do the David Blaine experience where I get put on top of a pool and I get to relive it. You do a flip into some boxes. pole in VR. Ooh, extra spicy. I like it. To stand on it.

Why not? We've also got streamlabs.com for slash vidiates official. That's a great link. If you click that one, it takes you to a website where you can support us financially, should you wish to do so. If you do, you'll become a member of Pod Squad. And not only are you really, really cool and handsome and pretty, but you're also very clever.

And you get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next podcast. That is recorded after your donor, Sean. Would you like to hear the Pod Squad for this week? Are you ready? Yes. Yes. B255. Arsface. Katie Kin Solo. Pong Linus. Otto von Gizmark. What Culture Limited. Stop clenching your fists. Ben was too quiet in Epp 47. Prince Beefcakes. Phoebe B. Peabody B. Mersenary Prostitute. Josh. Lightning McQueen. Big Titty Jesus. Now in Pog form. Write this on a toddler. Read Inheritance Cycle Guys

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Dave Benson's full hips, Alex H, Dr. Pooper, Scooper, Cooper Trooper, Kevin from Con, dorsal fin, Tristam, Large Chungus Babylonie, Cockle, Bips, Fulton, SpongeBob Shreddy's Pants, Stephen Scodes, Earth, Two, Giant Peter, a tiny two. Minimally effective PM Boppis. Just plain old jimmers. Tiny Peter's Fluffy Wallet. L. Baker 97. A single jalapeno fruit cake.

Yes. Xavier Ram Ram. Monica from Santa Monica. Mo Lester. Flat-armed salute on a treat day. Laird Mark R.G. Hot sauce, mouth sex. Ben's sauna friend.

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Finally, did you know, you can go to Yog's Cast. No, yeah, Yog's Cast for Mikey, that's it, isn't it? That's where you are. Yeah, there's all sorts going on. I mean, best place to follow me is at Pariboy on the Twitter, where you can. can see me. There's a weird video of me on the toilet on there for you. Enjoy. Oh, it's a great video. It's one of the better videos of you on a toilet. Oh, it's really in the top five. Yeah, I think that's many way you'll find me doing stuff at the minute because

because of the virus, a lot of my work has been postponed for now, so just keep checking on there to see what I get up to in my self-isolation hours. Yeah. And peter, youtube.com forward slash team triple jump what the fuck is that that is where we do everything mate it's where we do it all we do familiar shows that old fans of vidiots will be familiar with such as a piece of cake which is now called rules boss we do cooking over there we do worst games ever we do a video game podcast not a conversational inane one like this uh we do prove it over there just as you remember it except with only one episode of uh let's play and uh and uh and and and so on and so forth.

It's all good stuff. It is. Some fun, some friends. It's all inside this YouTube channel. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-b-b-b-b-b-b-ca copyright infringement. Finally, thank you. You can leave us a review, an iTunes review, or a review-slash rating on your platform of choice.

Something to do with Al Gore's rhythms probably helps. Did you guys have a question? A final question. A little question. A lovely little little questions. Oh, this is the most stressful bit. What have we talked about today? What's your least favorite holiday?

Yeah. Let's go least favorite and most favorite. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds good. That sounds good.

Well, everybody, thank you for listening. Please do take care of yourselves and loved ones as much as you can do. Remember that in these trying times, taking care of your loved ones, may consist of you actually isolating yourself from them if you're feeling unwell, as weird and as counterproductive as that may seem. It is the most sensible thing you can do because you might be carrying the naughty bug

even if you don't know it. So let's all just be careful. We'll try and keep you entertained. Poddiettes will continue during this time. We'll try to do a bit more streaming on viduets. Peter and I will certainly be streaming on triple jumps. So if you're looking for stuff, if you're looking for devotion,

turn to me on live stream we'll try and keep you entertained but thank you so much for all your support and all of your well wishes as well all of your kind lovely words that you've been saying to us about keeping healthy and helping to keep people sane

we do see it and we do appreciate it absolutely thank you thank you right is it's the time to go yeah it's got it go I think it is fuck five go boys yeah

bye everyone Bye, then. See ya. Bye. See you later. Friends.