Podiots - Podiots: Episode 49 - Tropical Guppy

Episode Date: April 7, 2020

  Peter's tater'd himself, Mikey's talking hungry Frenchmen and Ben is having a fish fight Donate to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/vidiotsofficial New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures and see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, lease a 2026 XC90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99%

during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions apply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to Explorevolvo.com. The time is to let the music play on. I don't know the beginning of that. What are the lyrics to the very start of that song? Was it Abbot? Which song?

The all night long. Oh. So let the music play on, play on play. I think it's like the time has come again, my dear, or something. The time is. come again, my dear. I don't know. Is that it?

I feel like there's more to it. All night. Long, yes. I know that. I got that bit. All night. That bit's a good bit. I just,

I feel like, I just wanted to do that bit because the time has come again, my dears, but I don't know the words. I'm going to have to look it up, aren't I? The time has come again,

my dude. It's potty, it's time. Doodoo doodoo doodoo. It's always kind of exciting how Ben will start the podcast. It's like,

We do the three to one countdown and he just rolls into some music or some sounds. Total mystery. It's magic. Well, my friends, the time has come. Hang on, no, that's not it. Raise the roof and have some fun. Really? Where's the, oh no, there's, yeah, there's an additional line.

Wow, Lionel just throw in curveballs immediately. Blimey. Well, my friends, the time has come. I think you mean blime and all. Yeah. Well, my friends, the time has come. Raise the roof and have some fun. Throw away the work to be done.

Let the music play on. Play on, play on. Play on, play on. So there's an additional. Jesus. A couple of lines there before we even get to the music playing on, playing on, playing on, playing on,

which I was not anticipating. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. That's okay. It's okay, Ben. We'll forgive you. It's a difficult time right now. There's a lot going on.

It's easy to make mistakes. It is. Everyone makes mistakes as, is it, was that Hannah or Miley? Which one was that? Well, there you go. That's another mistake. Who knows?

Fuck. Now I've got to look that up. God. Everyone makes mistakes. How do you Google it with that cadence? Everyone makes mistakes. Nobody's perfect. By Millie Cyrus.

It's Miley. Pobody's Nerfect, shrug. 2007 by Miley Cyrus. Oh, for the TV show, Hannah Montana. So maybe I think it is Hannah. Well, there you go. Myles Cyrus is Hannah Montana. Who fucking knows what's going on anymore?

I don't. Do you? No. Stop asking, quite frankly. I don't know. Oh, all right. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Potties, the official. Vidiates.

A podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs, where everybody brings a thing along, to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. Hi, boys. Hello.

One of our worst there. That was really, that was a bad one. You think? Yeah. Aw. Because there's two categories of bad that could fall into. Was it from a perspective or was it from a synchronicity perspective? Or both?

Maybe both. I think that's why it was so bad. Oh, no. We could, do you want to do it with full gusto? No, I think if we do it again, that's just drawing attention. I mean, at the moment, I'm definitely not drawing attention to the fact that it's bad. But if we do it again, then people will notice, I think. Nobody can hear this.

No, that's fine. Yeah, it's all internal on log. How are we feeling? What week is this of lockdown? Who knows? Oh, is it? Is this week two, really? End of week two, yeah.

At time of recording. Man, it feels like week three, but I did go into self-isolation a little earlier than that. You've had a hell of the time. Yeah. I definitely miss, like, going outside on a daily basis. Like, I go out for shopping and stuff, but I just just walking to work. I forgot how nice that was. It's like just a little bit of time, not looking at a screen.

surrounded by ferrets. I'm a lucky boy. I've been walking every day, but I can do that without encountering another human soul, which is nice. Although I say that, people are walking way more often, like around here than they used to.

I guess it's a combination of people being at home during the week when normally they'll be out of the office and, you know, they go for a quick stroll. And also, I think even, like people who would normally do some other kind of exercise, like, you know,

play five-a-side or tennis or golf or something. something because they can't go and do that, then they're walking instead. So there are actually, you do see people sort of in, in the distance on other footpaths and stuff. So, yeah. Also, I think we're just a defined bunch of British people where if we're told not to go outside, we'll bloody well do it. Yeah.

Yeah. You try and stop us. It's also just the one bit of freedom that people have at the moment, isn't it? Yeah. I'm going for my daily runs. Living in this police state. Yeah. Got to go fast and so on.

But, Mikey, you're not going out for your daily exit? exercise? I'm trying to, but I, during the day of time, I'm like, oh, I'll just stay in and like, eat my lunch and blah, blah, blah. And the evening rolls around, it gets like 7 p.m. Like, it's not, not really that sunny anymore. I definitely need to be better about that. I promise, this is by Podgett's promise. I will do a walk at some point. Good. All done. Just the one. Have you showered? I've showered, actually, yes. I'm a lovely clean boy. It was a, it was a strong two weeks, but today I finally caved. Fantastic. Wow, I'm really glad to hear that. And you know who else

is glad to hear that. Who could it be? Pod Squad. Pod Squad. Pod Squad have been losing their fucking minds recently because we've been doing some live streams and not only have people donated very generously on those but we've also had just a swell in Pod Squad support

which we really, really appreciate in these trying financial and social times. You've sort of blown us away so much so in fact that I don't feel fully equipped to read all of these names. so we've split them up between the three of us. Now, of course, Pod Squad, the fine folks at home who want to go above and beyond. Beyond, of course, listening and sharing it with every single breathing person that they know, they want to support us financially. And you too can do that by going to streamlaps.com forward slash vidiates official. And if you donate there, any amount very gratefully received and you'll get a shout out at the beginning and at the end of

the podcast. Now, for the purpose of this podcast, because we have about 80, Donators this week. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. We are not going to be reading out the stream Donators, but I think, you know, you got your shout out on the stream and stuff. Thank you so much for your support. But that we're going to try and separate those two, just because otherwise, this whole podcast becomes, wow, look how generous people can be. And, you know, you're here for the yucks. We all know how generous you can be. So we're going to limit it to Pod Squad Donators and Stream Squad Donators are their own separate, fantastical bunch. You get a shout out on the podcast and the podcast, the live stream and the Vods and that sort of.

of stuff. Okay. Without further adjure, Mikey, I think you're taking us away. Oh, that noise Ben G makes. Leave underscore Hoover underscore alone. Willie Ray Walrus. And he's been very generous and he's got a little message for us. Thank you guys for keeping this up. I work in a currently understaffed and overworked liquor store, which has been designated essential where I live. It's been a tad stressful and new three have helped me maintain what's left of my sanity. Stay safe. Will S. Thank you very much, Willis. I hope you're doing all right.

Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, hang in there. For Panticoor, shlumble piss. Emily, flat-arm Richard slapping. Mr. Moe Lester. Oh, dear. Mikey's secret vegan sausage.

Potato Grids Hoag. L. Bacon, 97. Big Titty Jesus, 42. Nice. Not so tiny, Peter. P underscore, underscore, E, underscore, underscore T, underscore, underscore, e. Defoe's distracting dong Hand-Slamwich

Lord Brotovic Michael Jokeson as Wallace Wood for Woodrow's Wilson a bald sweaty Roman Brother Voodoo Serene the Birch bitch Willem Defoe's massive Wongel Emily found a few lemons

Can someone explain the Willem Defoe thing? Well other than the fact that we're currently playing Beyond Two, well we're not currently We've been playing Beyond Two Souls But I don't know I don't know if that's actually It's got a powerful dong So much so it invades our donations

Thank you for all them The list continues Baldi Bouncer Haddy Emnor Chubnub Too legit for tits Elephant Shagger for Life Oh no

Sloppy Sloppy Farty Bum Ben Popper the Pussy Bopper Oh my God Nice Daddy shits his pants Al Gore's Rhythm Fitness DVD, Kitty Hawk,

Butterfield on a bell-ed, Macfortude cookies, hot lettuce on a pizza lolly, Comrade Vegan Buns, who was, again, very donatious, very generous, and says, Boyos, we love you.

We love you, boys, and all that you do. It's great hearing Ben G and getting to see Claudia and the noodle babies, waiting to see Pete's stream via postcard. Prince Beefcake, I see you my dude and raise you a communist vegan bun

The next one is from Sam de Quarantine Barbarian Also an exceptionally generous donation there And Sam says Here is money for you lovelies Although the isolation can be a bit much at times It's lovely to see how so much It's lovely to see so much in the way of streams This is money for whatever keeps you happy

In this crazy world I still have 20-ish characters Wow, I cannot And then I guess he ran out of characters. Lastly, Mrs. Goggins done a wank. Windy Miller. Who's got my Maroon 5 CD? Ian Beals' love sock, Jack Without the Sea,

dorsal fin Tristam, Anne Small Fush, and Uncle Fatty's droopy belly. Yay! Excellent. But that's still not all. We've got MacFortune Cuckies. Vaj My Chinco. What's wrong, my love?

Prince beef cakes Big Titty Jesus 42 Lick my hot fuzz Sean of the bread The world's end wasn't that good Fast cow locked in a Jeep Stiz Ace Another Stiz Ace

A third Stiz Ace Oppressive Squid Cogito Primus I think Twentoo Juz Oblut Ben needs a new mic Yeah what was up with my mic quality last week

It was super compressed and peeky That was weird Bit peak and split Should be fine now That was really strange. Sorry about that, everyone. Mikey's rancid fart. I'm Ben, and I like Lord Brotovich.

All the UK's... All the UK's toilet paper. Ben Club's backpackers to death. Fuckleys and cock wallop. COVID-20. Cow that's faster than it looks. Wash your hands clean off. Wanted cows on Tinder.

Hunt down and... And murder Jack Frost. Ben's family lit my car on fire. Vote for a... Part Free Podcast Since Peter Nonst Chocolate I'm assuming that's the That's why you can't eat

chocolate anymore That's your new excuse That's the reason, yeah That's the reason why Sexy Time Sardines Nice Big Titty Jesus 42 Baylor

Rip Taglaris scumvimo I think Michael's Peppa Pig Fetish Porn Oh no Ken Dodd's dad's dogs dead. Andre Sarakhanian, I think. Sorry, Andre, who's very generously donated.

Do you how-do, boys? Been here since the memory-redacted days. Would love to see a Peter shitpost since we've been treated to Ben's Twix-Eating and Mikey's continual nonsense. Keep up the hilarious work. I'll work on it. And finally, killing horses in Red Dead.

Thank you so much, everybody. You're ridiculous, and you make us feel very valued and loved and appreciated. And of course, we will give you a shout out again at the end of the podcast if you'd like to join the Pod Squadstreamlabs.com forward slash videos official. Please let's do a question now. Thank you. This one comes from Samuel Benson at Ben J. Sampson on the Twitters. What is the ultimate quarantine snack? So I presume everyone, so I presume everyone's kind of like making do with what they've got in the cupboards. So I'm assuming there's been some interesting creations in people's households. Well, didn't you see, I saw a story where, let me pull it up.

Let me pull it up. A guy made a weird sandwich. Someone shared it on social media. It was from the Daily Mirror, so I don't, it was probably, probably some old person in my family shared it on Facebook, but, uh, used brown bread. Man creates a very unusual coronavirus lockdown sandwich and people are disgusted. Here is a photo of said sandwich, which we can immediately post in the... Oh, I haven't done a Dave Benson. No, yeah. Let me just get a Dave down.

What is that? So I think it's a toasted sandwich with like a lasagna filling or something. Actually, that sounds banging. I'd love that. Didn't Tesco do a lasagna sandwich at some point, like in the past decade? And it was a huge thing at the time because all of the traffic lights were red on it. Oh, actually. It's nothing but salt

Hang on That first picture might Yeah no that is Yeah that's a lasagna sandwich And then there's this one Which is between two pieces of white bread Oh yeah This is all

So that's they're both They're both lasagna sandwiches Those two pictures there Yeah Just two different forms of it Wow Yeah You know what

That sounds actually pretty good But no that's Yeah I mean I've not been eating lasagna sandwich I'm trying to think If I've had any strange lockdown food

I think it was getting it was getting a bit close before I ended up moving back here but I was sort of running out of food but then I went out and did a shop in the big Tesco and there was actually plenty of stuff there so I got myself you know a fair bit of food

and then I realised about two days later I was moving back to the family home so I've just seen oh wow Ben that's not a real product is it the packaging is so fancy they did make that Tesco did make that

wow Wow, okay. Well, a real treat. Anyway, yeah, so I bought food that I thought was going to be for myself for like the next week or so, and then I ended up moving back in with my family. So we've had my food that I had, and we're doing all right. Like the local shop is, for local people is okay. There's plenty of stuff. Excellent.

A bit short on soap and loo roll, but apart from that, you know, fortunately, that's not what I put in my sandwiches, so I'm able to have normal. coward. Normal. That's a real quarantine sandwich. Yeah, it is. I'm having normal lockdown food, I'm afraid. Boring answer from me. I treated myself to a sandwich with cheese, pom bears and some instant noodles in it the other. Oh my God. I was with you until the instant noodles. Explain to me what that's about. I don't know. I was like, I was eating my noodles at lunch. I usually have some dead bread to dip in the broth.

I was like, you know what? I feel like making this a bit fancier. So I went to the cupboards, had some cheese. And we had the last pack of Pombay's in the house. I thought, fuck it. I'm going to be living fancy today. And I've got to say it was an experience. I highly recommend it. I bet, I mean, again, I'm not really behind the noodles. But I bet a cheese and Pomba sandwich has a great texture.

I bet it's really fun to bite through. Yeah, it's like that soft and crunginess all in one. Crisp sandwich, adding your crisps to your sandwich or your pack lunch in school. I mean, what are you doing? Oh, I never did it at school. Did you not? No. No.

Oh, crisp sandwiches are the absolute boys. I've never really had a crisp. I tried it once when I was a kid and thought, this is horrible. I don't like that texture. But there's something about pom bears that they're a whole different breed of crisp, aren't they? That's true. It's because they're shaped like animals, isn't it?

That's really what you get off on it. Yeah, Pompeii's vegan. Yeah, they are, I think. I hope so. Probably, yes. Fucking hell, yeah, sure, let's just say they are. They're just animal-shaped. I do love noodles in bread anyway.

It's like, it's kind of something I always do when I'm eating noodles. That's interesting. Have you never tried it? Well, when I first moved to London a few years ago, I was earning very little and I was living in a shared house. And my Monday to Thursday meal would be a packet of instant noodles. And I would always have a small loaf of bread that I would like margarine up a couple of slices of bread to go with it to sort of bulk it up a bit. But I would never combine them. I would just eat it along with the sort of chicken-flavored noodles.

But I've never, never gone all in. It's a culinary sensation. I used to know someone used to eat dry noodles in bread. No. Jesus. Dry noodles are really nice. Again, highly recommend that. Have you never?

What? Am I just the weird one? Like a highly compacted block of dried noodles? It's like a really dense crisp with that, Mikey. You can. I've seen them fix everything. Well, I'm trying to fix my insides, please. Wow, that is strange.

How about you, Ben? You've been nomin or anything fun? Not particularly, because I'm on my own. So my food is all for me. And largely, I'm very fortunate in that I did a big shop at the beginning of February anyway. So I was still pretty well stocked. So I've been eating all right. I'm going to have to go and do a shop soon.

But in terms of, I mean, the only weird thing that's changed really is I bought a load of bourbon biscuits. The one time I went to Tesco after we would, everyone was told to work from home. I went to go pick up the essentials like vodka and what was the thing I just said. Bourbonne's. Bourbon biscuits, some chocolate, some survival snacks, because I already had the essentials in. And I bought bourbons because I thought when we got them a work, they make like a really good just sort of stopgap for breakfast slash lunch and then I can have a proper dinner. And my thought process wasn't let's stretch this food I've got as far as it can go. It's just I can't be bothered to make myself lunch every day

and also it does just mean I'll have to go to Tesco more often to get, you know, supplies for lunch and so on. So I've been eating a lot of bourbon biscuits during the day. Only like two, but that's been sort of mainly my diet. I'm down for that. I love a good bourbon. Bobobobon. Yeah, they're good, aren't they?

I like bourbon biscuits. Underrated. Peter loves them as well, favorite flavor. Oh, delicious chocolate borbs. Yeah. Bores. Love them. Get me bobs out.

My grandma made us, she baked some gingerbread for us with the family gingerbread recipe that we made on main menu on Triple Jump. Well, we bastardized it. We did bastardize it. I'm sure it's significantly more brilliant than what we did. So my mum's been going around and handing care packages of food, well, not even handing, leaving them on the doorstep for them to collect, you know, to minimize stuff. because they're both in their 80s, my grandparents. So they shouldn't be really going out if they can help it. And my grandma sent biscuits back,

which had been left on the doorstep for us. It's the weirdest way to receive, you know, baked goods that have been made for you is sort of, you know, they've been left out like some sort of hostage exchange or like a, like espionage, like a briefcase left on a heartbed. And we brought them in. And I think we even sort of,

we left the box for a day or so, just to be safe, just to be super safe for everybody because, you know, I think after a day or two, you know, viruses can only live on surfaces for a certain time because we have to be careful here as well

because Amy's got asthma. So if she gets it, she could be in real trubs. Oh, that's true. I'm in trouble tops. Yeah, literally. So strange way to receive gingerbread. But anyway, we're all fine.

We've been eating them for a week. Nice. Yeah. It reminds me of something out of a fairy tale Just sort of freshly baked goods on your doorstep Yeah That never happens That's fictional

Well who wants to do a thing I've got a thing Oh well Peter I'd love to hear your thing I've brought along yet another strange news story I wasn't going to this week But I saw this and I saw it the other day

It was actually it was posted on Or certainly this write-up Was posted on April Fool's day and I did wonder whether it was a joke, but it is true. I can confirm this is a true story. This woman accidentally turned herself into a potato for a video meeting and couldn't figure out how to fix it. Now, that's not the best version of the headline I've seen.

I saw other places report it as my boss in a video conference turned herself into a potato and couldn't undo it. Essentially, you know, lots of people are working from home at the moment, moment and it's easy to forget that you know when when you're in a job as silly as ours it's easy to forget that people are still having to be as professional as possible at home you know give or take you know wearing some comfy comfy clothes but so there was a video conference call and I mean the picture just says it all I mean is this the one where she just looks really sad he looks really sad about it there's a wide shot showing the full conversation

which is great for context. And then... Oh, wow. Oh, wow. She looks like a little hash brown. Oh, she's in the ground as well. She's actually underground. And then that's the full close-up right there.

Oh, my God. So I'll read the story. But the moment I saw that, I just thought of Meatface. I thought that image right there is a Vidiot's image. So the ladies... The name is... Yeah, the lady's name is Lizette Ocampo

or maybe Lizet L-I-Z-E-T So we've got her description of the event here I've skipped the first three paragraphs because they're all just useless information but here we go So Monday morning we had our meeting

and I usually tried to do a camera and when we started the meeting I saw myself as a potato she said I was so confused as to why I was a potato she said Of all the things I could be, why a potato? She realized it was because she'd downloaded filters,

but she also absolutely could not figure out how to change it back. Meanwhile, her colleagues were enjoying a good laugh. As a progressive organisation, we fight for justice for all and access to opportunities, and in the last three plus years, it's been a little tough, she said. I'm just looking at this image of her as a potato. Just imagine the potato saying this. I just kind of gave up and stayed as a potato for the rest of the call.

If only she was smiling, because then we could have an actual potato smiling. Oh, there we go. If only. And then it just says, this is the look of a potato resigned to its fate. It is. That's the most given up on the world potato. She's tried really hard to turn it back, and she couldn't. And now she's been photoshopped as Diglet.

Here's a picture. Oh, my God. Can you describe what we're actually looking at in terms of facial features? I mean, as always, if you can get to Twitter and find the relevant thread, you'll see it there. But we're looking at, it's not even potato shaped, really, is it? It is quite diglet shaped. Yeah. So there's a photo that one of her colleagues took of her laptop screen, which shows two people sitting in their homes on a video conference call, just looking down their webcams.

And the third person in the call is, on a. backdrop of soil with a little bit of grass right at the top of the screen. And then the most sausage-shaped potato I've ever seen. And then the filter has just trimmed out her eyes and lips and made them really big. So it's just two big eyes and a mouth. And she looks really, really sad. She just, she does look like diglet with lipstick. That's what she looks like. She does. To me, she kind of looks like a hairless orangutan or something. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. She has got sunspots, freckles. Yeah.

She looks like Cousin It from the Adams family. That's a reference, the little hairy thing. Oh. I love it. I want to find out where this filter came from now. I need this for my next call. Yeah, I think we should all, in future, if we ever have to do a conference call, we should all be sad potatoes.

Sad potatoes and solidarity. Potato saddies. Is there any other, like, because obviously there's potato smile. Is there other potato emotions available? I think you can get like potato emojis, can't you? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Probably. You can also get like alphabet and various other shapes,

but I don't know about emotions necessarily. Here's a thing. Ben, did you ever have potato alphabet letters before? I'm aware of their existence. I can't say I've ever had them, though. Well, I remember we didn't used to have them at my house because I think they were a bit too processed in my mother's eyes, but I definitely had them once or twice at someone else's house.

I thought potato alphabet letters tasted different to other potato-shaped snacks. And I don't know how or why, but definitely potato letters did not taste like potato smileys. Maybe there was just more surface area for crunchy, delicious skin. Yeah, it might change the sort of mash-to-skin ratio. Yeah, which is good, in my opinion. And you've got to love that crunch, right? Yeah, definitely.

That's why I like chips, more than potatoes. Yeah. But what about sad potatoes? How did you feel about those? Would you eat that potato if it was served to you, is what I'm asking. Would it be sort of blinking and moving? Yes, yeah, it's very much alive. It's pleading with you.

Would you eat it? Absolutely not. No, I couldn't eat anything that pleads with me. Would you not be interested to just sort of see what's going on in there? Yeah. See how it works. Is it fluffy potato or is it brains and organs? Yeah, does it have a skeleton?

What is it? I'd maybe dissect it with my knife, but I wouldn't eat it. How would you put this potato out of its misery before you did that? Would you just like smack it with the heel of your shoe or something? Maybe sort of put it, like put it face down in some ketchup until it's... Oh God, you're going to smother it in tomato sauce? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely horrifying.

Well, then at least, you know, your spread... If it does have lungs, you know, which you're going to find out, you're already spreading the tomato ketchup in there so that when you consume it, because you're going to eat it, obviously. It's already dead. It'd be a waste otherwise. Then the ketchup's already in there. You know, it's already spread around.

You don't even need to dip because it's got ketchup in it. It's the ultimate meal. Potato torture. Oh, no. Oh, no. Does it bleed? Well, again, we'll find out. Another question, isn't it?

So many questions. Please, someone post a living potato. smiley to us and we'll dissect it for research purposes. Yeah, put it to us in the post. Yeah. We've had a sponsored, you know, or not a sponsor. We've had a free sample from Shreddies. If there's any sort of living potato companies out there, you know, shoot us over a sample.

We'll stop about it in a future episodes. Google, the living potato company. What could possibly come up there? Oh, okay. No, it's just the potato company. the little potato company okay um

no there's not we haven't got much I'm afraid oh well maybe that's a gap in the market yeah there we go someone someone jump on that you get that

prime potty it's uh sponsorship oh my god there is um there's more than one look at look at this this is another one there's another one oh that's quite cute

I wouldn't want to eat that potato he's too smart no he looks really happy that is a potato smiley, though, so we wouldn't want it. Only the sad ones. And he's trying to help you, you know. He's trying to offer advice. Yeah. Just a photo of a potato holding a sign there.

Yeah. Excellent. Well, thank you very much, Peter, for sharing your potato, potato goodness. You're welcome. Thanks, Peter. You're welcome. Thank you so much. Let's slide into another question.

Oh, my God. Sorry, the ferret is chewing my Nintendo Switch controller. I'll be back in a second. Run. Oh, my God. Stop it. So, Peter. Yeah. How's life? without ferrets going for you. Oh, it's going good.

You know, nothing is chewing my Nintendo Switch controller right now. How about you? Yeah, I can't say, I'm pretty chew-free over here as well. Yeah? Absolutely. No ferrets on their end.

I hate them. I've already had to replace the joycons once on that controller after they were chewed up. They're so expensive as well. You need to make a special shelf that is like suspended from the ceiling, just a little platform dangling from a string because they hopefully wouldn't be able to get to that, right?

well you hope so but they're very cunning like that they'll find a way yeah anyway thanks thanks lilith for distracting me we've got a question from our from our good old friend sammy oldcroft at sammy louise 94 on the tweetums oh mostly aimed at peter given he will definitely experience it how would you celebrate your birthdays in isolation so yeah but it's going to be a weird well i mean at least for peter you're just around by family so you have you will have a presence around you? A presence, if not presents. No, I mean, we've talked about this. My family were like, oh, so what we're going to do for your birthday then? What we're going to do? And I'm like, to be honest, you know, on my birthday,

if I was here, we wouldn't do much anyway. We'd like, we would maybe, you know, go on a nice walk, which we can still do from here. We just can't drive to a nice walk. It has to be a, you know, a nearby one. But, you know, ordinarily, we'd probably. just go walking and then or you know in the morning i'd open some presents which again i'm a very lucky boy i'm and i'm fortunate in that there are online ordering services available so i'm aware that people are you know intending to give me a present and i know that because uh it's also other people's birthday in my family coming up in april and i'm doing the same for them i know that essentially i know we're all buying presents for each other so that's nice um so i'll be

have in presents, I know, which is very nice, and then maybe go on a walk. And also, you know, I think either a cake will have been baked or been purchased from the store. Because your grandma could drop some cookies off at the door. She could do. Yeah, she could. So I'm not, I'm not at all concerned about how, you know, about my birthday not being fun or good or what I would ordinarily expect. It's going to be okay. Because usually you'd have like, absolutely massive night out with loads of drugs and drinks on the town. Yeah. Love them, love them, love them, love them poisons.

Now we're going to have to do it just here without going out. Just me and like my dad doing Coke, uh, you know. It's a bonding experience. My sister just blazing it in the corner. Sick. That sounds fucking sick. That's so sick. Yeah.

Um, so it should should all be good. Oh. Yeah. Well, I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Peter. Yeah. I think, well, I say this, but there's like, behind my flat, there's like a student house. And basically every night until the early hours of the morning, they've been doing, like, they've been drinking together over video calls.

Oh, yeah, I've seen people have done that. It sounds fun and like to do stuff like pub quizzes and stuff. But oh my God, the guy who happens to live behind us is the loudest man I've ever heard. That's something from me as well, Mr. Loudboy. He just screams until 3 a.m. It's the Green Hill Zone from Sonic. What? We're doing like some kind of music quiz,

and he was just screaming out the answers, like, oh. So I was going to say, I would like, do you know, like a teleconference drinking session, but I'm fearful I'll be the next loud man in the block of flats. Well, he deserves it. That's true. Yeah, I don't want to shitting him for having fun, but oh my God, when it's 3 a.m.

Respectful fun. Yeah, just be respectful. Don't be a Wilson. At least send us an invite if you're going to have a mad party. Absolutely. I think, honestly, I think if, if, I hope to go, this isn't the case by October, but if we're still in this situation, I would like to do just a big stream because that's like a nice way to interact with people and still have a bit of fun, you know.

Definitely. I think that's my solution to everything at the minute, as if I'm a bit bored, do a stream. Oh, God, us too. We just can't stop streaming. Yeah. God, I might do a stream on my birthday, actually. That's a really good idea. Oh, you should.

You should. We should, and we can pop in for like 10 minutes at a time and say hi and hang out for a bit. Oh, that sounds like a good idea. On your birthday. What day of the week is? I think it's, oh, and I'm not even working that day because it's good Friday.

So yeah. Hey, first Friday. Right, Friday. Right, Friday. Sick Friday. We'll do that then. During the day on Friday, good Friday, I'll do a stream. Look out on social media for details.

Yeah. That sounds good. That sounds good. Hmm. I mean, as we discussed, I feel like last episode we were talking about how we feel about birthdays and stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. And honestly, if this is still going on next month, which in all likely it will be, then I will also be celebrating my birthday from home, which is actually kind of a blessing because that's sort of what I like. I don't really want to be, you know, the centre of attention or surrounded by lots of people. It makes me uncomfortable. I'm sure if the postal service is still intact, that things could. theoretically reach me, I would probably just sit there and get a takeaway and play video games and, God, maybe also do a stream. Why not? Do a FaceTime with the family or something for a bit, but yeah, that would drink a lot. That would probably be me, I imagine. Yeah. I think we've all kind

developed, well, at least I have developed a mild case of alcoholism recently. Yeah, well, it's just a hobby, isn't it? It's not alcoholism, it's a hobby. It's just something to do. Yeah. What else are you going to be doing, huh? Yeah, exactly. You just, you know, sit in your pants, get drunk. It's classy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. What about you, Mikey? For a good man. I think, yeah, I think I said. I'm going to do streaming. Oh, yeah, you would do the, yeah, no. For a minute, I got distracted and was just so infuriated by the loud man that I thought you were just complaining about the loud man and not talking about birthdays.

Yeah, so did I. Got a big sour-tracked, but I think. Noodles and Pombear sandwiches all day. All day. I want to buffet that shit. I want a big bowl. of noodles and a whole loaf of bread that can just, oh, cram with nudes. God, what you should do is you get an unsliced loaf, right, and cut it horizontally and just

fill it with noodles. Go Elvis style or die in the toilet, eat my noodle sandwich. Yeah, that's the way to go. Oh, lovely, thanks for sharing your birthday plans, boys. Thank you for asking. Shall I do my thing, or Ben, do you want to do your thing? You can do your thing, Mikey. Oh, well, I come with a tale from the past.

about a very, very special man. No, no. It's, well, yeah. Well, it's not bad, but it's not great either. Is it me? It's not you. You are a special boy, but... Is it a different, Ben?

Yeah. It's a Frenchman. It's a fancy French boy. It's all I heard. So we're all familiar with the very hungry caterpillar. You know, the caterpillar that couldn't stop eating. There was a hungry, hungry boy. But what if there was a real-life counterpart to this hungry man?

Enter the very hungry Frenchman. Oh, I thought it might be Ben Franklin, but apparently not. No, no, I'm trying to stay away from Ben Franklin. There might be some new letters unearthed in the future. I'll save it for then. I'm already terrified, Mikey, that I'm going to draw a lot of parallels between this Frenchman's eating habits in my own. I think that's what I kind of liked about it, is the relatability of this man.

Okay. Everybody just hold your loved ones close. Born in 1772, a man known only as Torare was born. His massive appetite had been a part of his life since day one, so much so that when he was a teenager, his parents kicked him out when he was literally eating them out of a house and home. And at this stage of his life, he was able to eat a quarter of a cow carcass in a single day. Whoa.

Was he prepping it himself? Was it just raw? I guess raw. I mean, like, you'll find out later on. He definitely wasn't fussy about what he ate. Okay. So while he was kicked out on the streets, he found purpose as a travelling showman. He joined a band of prostitutes and thieves who had tour France putting on axe while they picked the audience pockets. He's found himself a trade. Brilliant. Mercenary prostitutes again.

Hell yeah. Terrari was lucky enough to be one of the star attractions, the incredible man who could eat anything. The audience would literally just hand him a bucket full of items and food, and he'd just sling it down his gullet and they'd all clap. Wow. Are we talking sometimes non-food stuff as well? Oh, yeah. I think I detail a few things later on, but anything went with Terrari. Like iPhones? iPhones, yeah, back of the days.

Like, fuck it, we don't have any 4G yet, so we'll just slough these down your throat. Yeah, they were rotary iPhones. For me. Yeah. His massive jaw could swing open so wide that he could pour a basket of a dozen apples into his mouth and hold them like a chipmunk in his chest. No, he couldn't. A dozen apples.

So, like, it turns out his skin was just super stretchy. So it basically meant he was in, like, wait, what's the one I'm looking for? Impossibly able to just shove himself full of stuff and just take it, like a big strong boy. One of his lucky audience members was quoted as saying, he seized a live cat with his teeth, disemboweled it and sucked its blood and ate it. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Leaving the bear's skin. skeleton only. He also ate dogs in the same manner. And on one occasion, it was said that he swallowed a living eel without chewing it. I don't, this can't be real, can it? Not all of it. It's pretty well documented. And like, I couldn't find anything to say otherwise on the internet. Like, everyone's just taking this as fact, and I want to believe it as fact. Yeah, I'm unfortunately, I'm inclined to believe that almost or, like, all of this or almost all of it is true. Yeah. So with everything I've said, the past few sentences,

how much do you think this man weighed at age 17, let's say? Would it be crazy to go with a fairly regular amount because he might probably just have historic levels of diarrhea? I think it might be the other. I think he's probably got an issue passing what he eats. I think it's all still in there. You know, he's probably been bunged up by a live eel. He just gets bigger and bigger.

Oh, God. Yeah. rolling around town people shoveling stuff in his throat well at the age of 17 he weighed just 100 pounds whoa he was a tiny tiny man you're right ben incredible was it the diarrhea i probably was i think just whatever went in just kind of shot straight out again okay and yeah i this is from Wikipedia but i i doubt it so validity and although you live animals and trash for living he seemed to be sane. He seemed to be safe sources in the 18th century said.

Apart from all the insane stuff he was doing, he was mostly sane. Yeah, if you just like disregard the eating of live cats and stuff, he's fine. So yeah, like, obviously to make all this possible he had an incredibly stretchy skin. And it said that after he'd eaten, his balloon would, his balloon, his belly would inflate like a balloon afterwards. Oh, God. But of course, his, unfortunately, as stretched beyond is just his ability to eat and eat and eat Passers by noted a horrible stench

that seemed to steep off his body. It's the diarrhea. Yeah. Oh, God. His skin is just diarrhea. His body was hot to the touch, which meant he had constant sweat that smelled like sewer water.

It would even rise off him in a vapor that you could visibly see following wherever he went. So he was like the literal incarnation of a stink cloud. Oh, no. But he found a purpose. The military had an idea to make use of his stretchy, stretchy self. He enlisted himself, and when the general found out about his magic abilities,

he decided he would make the perfect career. And so they ran an experiment. A document was placed inside of a wooden box, which our friend then ate, and then passed through his body completely intact. Oh, God. Which, like, let me reiterate that, a wooden box. This is not just, like, a little, like, parcel of heroin going through him. This is a hard wooden box.

Yeah. And a per soldier at the end had to clean it up and read it, and it was totally legible. So our lucky boy was enlisted as a special undercover boy. Horrifying. So after this, he was given his first mission to sneak behind enemy lines to deliver a secret message to a captured French colonel in Germany. But unfortunately, due to his saggy skin,

when he started his mission, he attracted a lot of attention. And it didn't take people long to figure out he was. a spy when he couldn't even speak German. So they captured him, took him into a prison and he experienced a day of torture before revealing that he had in fact had a secret message hidden in his stomach. He was then chained up of a toilet

and they just sat and waited for hours until it finally plopped out. Oh no. And when it finally happened all they found was a note that simply asked the recipient so let them know if Terrari had delivered it successfully. Oh, God.

Turns out this was just another test and I think They were quite right to do it again because he effed up, bless him. Shit. But feeling sorry for the flabby, sobbing man, they let him return to France. Oh, that's nice of them at least.

Yeah, off you go. We don't want you here. You probably go to smoke so bad. They didn't want to keep him. That's true. Upon his return to civilian life, he begged to a doctor to cure him. But while living in the hospital,

he was found drinking human blood, trying to eat bodies from the mortuary, and after a 14-month-old baby disappeared, they got a bit fed up and chased him out. So what was that thing about him seeming to be sane? Yeah, absolutely not. What the fuck? This took a really sudden doubt.

It was already weird, but now it's like... It's like, this is like horror movie stuff. I don't know, there's no, like, there's no, like, actual information to back up that he ate the baby, but a baby went missing while he was in the hospital. Michael, he ate the baby. He ate the baby. We know, we know he ate the baby, okay.

He didn't want to say it, but he definitely ate the baby. He ate a baby. But unfortunately, it wasn't long before Terrari ended up in hospital again, this time with tuberculosis. And in 1798, his unsatiable hunger was finally cured as he sailed up, up and away to the heavens. Where he can eat all the bodies he wants. Oh, it's just like a never-ending pit of people and babbies. In an autopsy, it was found that his stomach almost filled his entire. abdominal cavity. So usually, I think, like, the stomach only occupies quite a small section of

the human body. But with him, it was just literally 80% of him was, like, the digestive track, the stomach and all that stuff. God. But, yeah, so they were doing an autopsy, but unfortunately, due to the stench that omitted from him, they weren't able to continue for very long. And so they had to stop. So, Tarare is kind of still the mystery. I think people do assume it was a mixture of a psychological disorder paired with incredibly stretchy skin. So it's a very rare occurrence, but it led to him being a very special hungry, hungry boy. I bet the autopsy was like some sort of a slapstick clown routine. Like they cut him open, stick their hand in, pull out a rubber chicken, pull out. 20 clowns come climbing out. Yeah, let a clowns come out,

a unicycle, then like a white rabbit are still alive, a box that says, please let me know he's sent this, you know, all kinds of stuff. That's the story of Torari. I thought it was just so fun. So very fun that I had to share it. What a beautiful story. Thank you, Michael. Incredible.

Thank you for listening. Would you like another question? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This one comes from Chloe Elizabeth at All Fruitcake on the Tweet of Wheaters. I'm trying to think of new ways to say Twitter every time. I think I'm kind of, it's getting worse.

She wants to know. Did you go through any phases as a child or a teen? I had a survivalist phase. Then I was really into skateboarding. Then my early teens, I thought I liked punk music and got green highlights in my hair. None of them stuck, and they're all embarrassing to look at on. Any of you boys had any embarrassing phases? I've got to make a few very light phases, which I guess I'll start off with.

As a young teenager, I think this is probably the cringest thing I've ever done. I used to really like the Big Bang Theory. And I just thought, oh, they're all so smart. I want to be more like them. So for a short while online, I kind of typed and talked like Leonard. Like in these like overly big words using like bullshit terms. It's like, oh, well, if your hypothesis is correct. Oh, no.

You're one of those guys. Some people don't do that. Like, ironically. And you were one of them. I tried it. I think it lasted a few weeks. and I got a few weird responses on forums. I was like,

ah, I know why people don't do this because it's fucking cringe. Hey, but you tried it out. Exactly. I would have lived in constant fear and doubt until I tried it.

And I had, in my head as a child, I had two other potential phases, which thankfully I never acted out. As a kid, I were really like Mr. Bean. So I wanted to dress like Mr. Bean and kind of be like Mr. Bean

and carry a teddy around. Oh, no. How old were you? I think I must have been about 10 or 11 or something. Doesn't that happen to the kid in the Mr. Bean movie where he goes to America and does Worcester's mother. I think like halfway through there's like a, it's like a, you know, it's like a music's playing and it's just a bit of a supercut of like things happening and like he's finally

getting along with the family. And at one point it shows him buying presents for everyone. And he buys like, he buys a Barbie for the girl who's like, not. 19. And she's like, oh, thanks. And then he gives a box to the little boy who looks into the box and goes, wow. And then he walks out the room and then he walks back in dressed as Mr. Bean. And it's you, Michael Johnson. Oh, that's the dream. Michael Bean, son. I've got one last potential there phase that I thankfully didn't act on. But for a short while, I thought the matrix was the coolest fucking thing ever. And so I, as a child, I thought, when I've got money, when I've got my own spending money, I want to be just like a massive. tech goth i want to wear big black leather jackets big boots shades everywhere and be really mysterious and cool um absolutely yeah i'm really thankful i never acted on at least those two that's that's that stuff i would never want to see again no you should i there's no reason you shouldn't have you know yeah that's that's the the cool thing go for it i still there's still

time i guess i'll complete a transformation in this this these precious months we've got yeah I had a slightly similar thing in that when I was maybe I know, let me see when it came out it was maybe like 12 there was a game called Jet Set Radio Future you're aware of that

and it's about these guys who go around on rollerblades and they like spray spray paint everywhere and they're like they're sticking it to the man and we had that on Xbox and it's got a cool

soundtrack and it's all like kind of what's the word cell shaded it's really rad. It's a rad game and me and my sister and I think one of my friends from school we kind of decided that

the garage in my house was going to be our clubhouse right? Oh yeah and we weren't I mean I never had any desire to rollerblade even though it was a rollerblading game but we just wanted to be like cool rad dudes who like go around and you know they spray paint all over the walls and stuff so sick we sort of cleared a bit of a corner in the garage it was still just full of bikes and stuff but uh

we made a tiny space um and there was like an office chair and like one little kind of bar stool in there and then i remember i went to around the same time there was a bit of a bring and buy sale at at our primary school on the weekend I guess they were trying to like raise money for something and I bought this like punching bag thing where it's got this flat like plate on the floor that you stand on with one foot

and then just a vertical spring essentially and then just a ball on top of the spring coming from that so you stand to hold it on the ground and then you just punch the ball and that went straight in the clubhouse and uh god we had a great time for about three days and then we just got bored of it so that was a bit of a phase I guess but I like that it's very cute yeah well I wish I had your confidence Michael because there were definitely times where I thought I would really like to do this thing but

I never did it I never went through with it so I've always sort of looked the same I've always been into the same sort of stuff and I've always secretly wanted to do certain things but just not ever pulled the trigger on it. Like, there was a time where I wanted to have green hair. I wanted to have that when I was in secondary school. My friend was super into, like, music and, you know, what's it called? You know, you know, gosh, I'm really showing how down with the kids I definitely was even then.

Scar and punk music and stuff like that. And I think he listens to the podcast now, so he'll know who I'm talking about. I know I'm talking about him. But, like, there was a period where he would. was just that he moved from his little rural home into the town where I went to secondary school. And then suddenly he was going out every night and drinking and underage and partying and playing video games all day and stuff. And I was like, man, this is cool. What a cool guy and what a cool life. And, uh, and I thought, you know what's going to ingratiate me with

that community is green hair. That's what's going to do it. And I never did it. And I think it's good that I didn't because actually it's the it's sort of it's it's that sort of low lying um undercurrent trauma that helps build character and uh and makes you just fucking hilarious when you're an adult because if you don't go through periods of not being allowed to do anything uh then i find it helps somewhat because i just never pulled the trigger on anything there was a period where I walked around in a dressing gown, right, inside the house, not outside, with no, you know, the strap that goes around your waist and you do it up. I took that out. And I walked around. I was just, the cord, thank you. So I took the cord off and I was just

walking around the house and, and I was fully dressed underneath. I was just wearing this dressing gown over the top for similar reasons, Michael. Do you want him to wear those big leather dusters? I thought, this is a cool look. I like this, but only here, only with a dressing gown and never... You can't find your house where no one can see. Exactly. Never did it outside. So there were definitely phases I went through, but they were always inward and never

outward. Right. I was too worried about what the world would say. You know, I didn't want to live my truth, so to speak. Yeah, I know what you mean. Now that you've said that, I remember once, I had this just like a sort of empty notebook that I used to write random things in. And I remember once planning out what I was going to do and where

when I was an adult and when I was able to. Right? Nice. And I decided to model myself on Paul Phoenix from Tekken. Oh, with the hair. Yeah, well, not even for, I don't think the hair. I think the hair was the one thing that I wasn't bothered about. But I remember specifically, I remember specifically saying that I wanted to wear sort of black and dark green camo,

like a sort of full, full two-piece suit of it, with specifically skull and crossbones on the back. That's what I wanted. Holy shit. Yeah, dude. That's a thing I don't swear. Yeah. Also, I found a picture of Mikey here. Oh, there he is.

Look how happy is. That could have been me. Yeah. I followed my dreams. That's one for the thread. I'm going to pop that on now. It's just the face as well. Yeah.

It's what makes that. Ultimately. Oh. Thank you for sharing your embarrassment to everybody. And, well, I'm glad most of them weren't acted on. I think we're all, I think it builds confidence. It builds character to be... Yeah, it does.

It does. A little bit of trauma. Yeah, just a little bit. Does the body good? A little bit of light trauma for everybody goes through it in their own way. Ben, would you like to present your thing? I would. I've got a photo to send you first.

Oh. Introducing my fish. Oh, you got the fish! He's got it. There it is. That's my fish. He's a boy fish. He's a guppy.

I think he's some sort of tropical guppy. I can't remember exactly what he's called like tiger something or other as the variant slash species of guppy. Now, when I posted about this on Twitter, I asked for people's help to come up with a name. You know, I wanted to name my guppy because I'm here on my own.

I wanted to sort of a desk companion. So I got a tank, I got some things to put in the tank, I got the fish, I got a little bit of weed blaze it to go in there as well to help oxygenate the tank. You know, it's a nice little environment and it's a tiny, tiny little fish, and it's perfect for him. But because of the current situation with the pandemic and so on, I wanted there to be a name that was appropriate,

sort of a pun-based name, if you will, based... A pandemic, thank you, based on the current situation. So the rules are, as I put in the tweet, and a lot of people replied, so thank you very much, and I've put a few people's suggestions in this port. that I'll tell you about in a second. But it needed to be, ideally, an actual name, really, a pun based on the current situation or some sort of wordplay. But it needed to be a name.

It can't just be a generic fish-based pun. Ideally, it had to be a boy-based name, if that was possible. And we had all sorts in response. I had some based on characters, so Barbara Fish, Dave Ben's son's fish lips. Rules bass, just some general fish puns, some pandemic-related puns that don't feature names like social fish dancing.

So there's tons of really, really good puns that people put in, but unfortunately, for the purpose of this, I wanted it to be an actual name, something that I could shorten, something that the full name is a pun on the current situation, but it's also a name of a person or a fish, if you will. So, borrowing from Mikey's usual layout, I've got a tournament of different fish pun names

and I want you guys to decide ultimately who, what the name of my fish will be. Oh my God, the power we've got. We're going to name this fish for the rest of its life. Yeah, yeah. And I will shout out the people who have suggested names at the end that were used in this.

And a lot of people suggested very similar ones. So apologies if your name doesn't get mentioned, but thank you anyway. It is appreciated. Okay, bracket one. Yeah, ready. Now, I've gone with, it did sort of limit the options available by wanting to have a name involved,

because as I said, there were lots of great puns, but they just didn't have names in there. And also, I didn't want it to be too, not necessarily on the nose, but I didn't want it to just be like CoFish 19, for example. You know, that's not much fun, that one. So, we start with Corona Vincent. Okay.

And Corona Vincent is going up against Stay Finn. Stay Finn. Stay Finn. Oh, stay. Stay Finn. Stay Finn. Okay. Corona Vincent. I'm instantly leading towards Stay Finn. Oh, are you? Well, Finn's quite a cute name for a fish. So if he's going to shorten it down to just Finn.

But I guess, Finn and Vin? But my problem is that I think, Corona Vincent is, in some ways, a better pun than Stay Finn. Like, Stay Finn just took me half a second longer to think, oh, yeah, okay, yeah. That's true, that's true. Corona Vincent, but I just, I'm Vincent for a fish. Actually, to be honest, that does sound pretty lit. Corona Vincent.

See Vin, see Vincent. The worst, the better, really. Yeah, that's true. Okay, I think I'm happy to go Corona Vincent for this round. I'm going to Corona Vincent? Yeah, it may well not win, but I think, now. That's what I feel. Okay. Corona Vincent has made it through. Congratulations, Anthony C88. Thank you for the

suggestion. Okay, next up, it's Kurtrona, as in Kurt Rona, Corona, Kurt Rona, against quarantine. Quarantine. Quarantine. Quarantian. I love that. I'm a big fan of quarantine. I like quarantine. Quentin Quentin has gone through. We move over to the next side. We've got Stan Demick against Moby Sick. Oh, I mean, Moby-Sick's great. It's even, I mean, I know a whale isn't actually a fish, but it's sea life related. Little Moby. Yeah. I like Moby-Sick. I like Moby-Sick. Going Moby-Sick. Sick. Okay. Congratulations Brightside underscore on Twitter. Thank you for that. Next up, it's Quentin Quarantino against a personal rubbish.

favorite of mine, David 19. David 19? Oh, they're both so good. Oh, this is really hard. I did really like Quentin Quarantino and Mikey just said it before, so I'm pleased that it made it to the tournament. Yeah. Oh, David 19.

David 19 is really good for its simplicity, but Quentin Quarantino has like a real, ethereal kind of feel to it, and I do want a fish called Quentin. Yeah. Yeah, I think it has to be, as I admit, David 19 is great, but it's very good. It's Quentin Quarantino. Okay, Quentin Quarantino, congratulations at Rui Red Panda. Thank you for suggesting that one. We now move on to the semi-finals.

It is the Titans that are Corona Vincent against Quarantine. Quarantine. It's got to be quarantian. That's so good. Quarantine is into the final. Oh. And the other semi-final is Moby Sick, taking on Quentin Quarantino. Hmm.

I honestly don't know. I do just like the mental image of calling your fish Quinton. Is there like a shorthand version of Quinton? I guess, I guess, Quint. Quint. Quint, Quint. I'm also trying to think, you know, when you're describing your fish, to people. Actually, that's the thing. What would other people enjoy? I feel like the first time

you say the words Quintin Quarantino, they're going to be pretty, pretty bold over by that fish. Also, if you shorten it to Quint, that was also the name of the sailor in Jaws, the crazy one. Oh, there you go. There's a lot of fish, sea life-related crossover here. We'll be sick. We've got maybe sick to play with as well. I'll be honest I'm not feeling more be sick as much I think it's less poetic I was really torn between the two

so I think if you've got any kind of stronger opinion on one than the other then we should go with that Fair enough Is it the syllable count maybe that helps Quentin Quentin Quentin Yeah Is that what you're going to go for? Yeah

I think so Okay Quentin Quarantino has made it through to the final And now facing off for the honour of fish naming rights is Quarantian taking on Quentin Quarantino

fuck Oh dear Quarantin Quentin Quarantino again better pun I think than Quarantian but there is something about a fish being called Ian that is ridiculous I do

yeah yeah Cointin Quarantino was like the fancy deluxe version but Quarantine is a good all simple fish name. How do you feel bad? Yeah, this is your fish ultimately. Well, I mean, quarantine is one of mine, so I'm glad that that's made it to the final. Um, but, you know, they're both quarantine based, which is great. It takes all the boxes. They're both names. One of them's a superstar director who's shutting your butt down. He is shutting your butt down. And the other one is called

Ian, so arguably just as good. Oh, I mean, having... I think I'm leaning towards quarantine. Yeah, I was about to say, I've got the middle name of Ian, so I feel like I've got a certain affinity to Ian's around the world. So quarantine, I think, gets my vote as well. You think it's going to be quarantine? Yeah. Boys, I am thrilled to announce that I have actually already named this fish quarantine

because he's getting a brother very soon, and it will be called Quentin Quarantino. We're going to do both. Yes. We're going to do both. adorable so quarantine is already here there's a there's a photo I posted on Twitter already at the time of release

and Quentin Quarantino should be arriving shortly I'll take a photo soon well that's great congratulations because not only did both of them make it through when we were so torn but if they sort of match each other as well they're like yeah the names are alike the Quarantino brothers

yeah like the Chucco brothers Quarantine Quarantino and Quentin Quarantino Rolls off the tongue. Brilliant. Thank you for your help, guys. Oh, thank you, Ben. Enjoy your life filled with fishy, fishy goodness.

Thank you. And thank you to everyone who suggested names as well. They were like 80 of you. Really, really appreciate it. There were some fantastic puns in there, but I hope you understand that I had to limit it to names. Strict rules here in the tournament business. Would you boys like one final question before we wrap up?

Yeah, absolutely. This one comes from Amy at Spandex Monkey 3. three on the Tweetoms. I'm going to burp. Pardon me. As someone who has recently begun working from home, I choose to change out of my pajamas at 10 a.m. Two hours into my workday.

What time do you get changed? If you get changed at all, no judgment at all. I think this is a nice way it's been off and going into some like quarantine routines. How is everyone keeping saying? Do you have structure in your day? Or are you just free-balling it 24-7? If I wasn't here,

with the family, my routine would be terrible. I mean, I think my working, my working day would still be structured to an extent because I know that I have to get up and be at work and be at my desk, you know, in case people need me and because we've got streams on and recording to do, so that's all fine. But, you know, before and after the working day, I think I would collapse into a sense of, well, I don't know, it would just be chaotic. But because I've got other people around me who aren't judgmental and would, be fine if I was in my pajamas all day. I nevertheless decide that, you know, I have to make sure I get

changed, you know, if not before breakfast, then immediately after. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, no, I'm pretty good. I've been, I've, I've not been great. I keep staying up late because it feels like the temptation's there. I can just roll out of bed and start work. It's not like a ritual that has to be done. It's just as soon as I can plot my ass on the computer chair, I'm, I'm done. But so I, I, I think I definitely need to be able to enforce a strict routine of myself, but I'm just too lazy and I'm too, too goddamn, not able to stick to things. It's bad.

So I, like, usually, I, on my good days, you know, I'll arrive at my desk at around half nine and I'll, I'll start, like, checking in, I've got a few calls, and I'll have, like, a coffee and I'll actually shower. But there's other days where if I'm up late the night before, it'll kind of roll over a little bit. And so, like, there's more of a hurried start to the day where I don't have a coffee, you don't have a shower, I just kind of roll up, I go, like, roll into the first call of the day and just like, I'm not with it. And it kind of has a roll on effect through the day. And I just need, I need someone to come slap me every, like, half hour, just make sure I'm

being a good boy and not completely leaving it. Yeah. I was, I think the main thing I do is structure outside time, because it's just, I wake up, and until I go to bed, I'm just at the computer, which is not, not a way to live. I wake up every day is a daydream. Everything in my life ain't what it seems. I wake up just to go back to sleep. Sleep. I act real something but I'm in too deep.

Yeah, and all I care about is a little extra 50s worth of garlic. Yeah. A bit dizzy. What's that been? Sorry, I said a little bit of dizzy. A little bit of dizzy then. A little bit dizzy.

In my life. Yeah. In my life. Yeah, I think, but it has been nice. I thought, I might say, spill the beans a bit here, but we've been designing some new air poddy, it's merch. It looks really good, guys. I thought you were about to say, like, I don't know why.

I thought you were about to say, might spill the beans a bit here, but we've been, we've been planning for a baby. Yeah, see, my mind did go there as well. I thought you were going to talk about your home life rather than us for a second. Yeah. Yeah, what perfect time to have a child. Yeah. Well, someone we know is, right?

Oh, yeah. I don't know if that's common knowledge, so we may not be able to say, but. No, we can't say who. It's very exciting. Good for them. Yeah, good for them. Yeah, having a bit of very potty, it's merch to design the evening is actually quite nice.

It's like, Tam, I can just kind of like, you know, put some music on and just be a little bit creative and have some fun. Nice. Lovely. Coming soon. God knows when, but it's coming. Coming. It will happen eventually.

I have been all right, you know, getting up at the correct time. Log onto my computer, which is in my room, my desk. My chair is not good. to work out a solution for that because it's really it really hurts my back after a while so I'm having to do lots of stretching to sort of stop it from ruining my back and I usually work until about one two and then I will go out for a run and then I'll come back in and continue working and then usually I've got a stream on so then I'll finish the stream at like seven and then work for maybe half an hour or so longer after that and then and then wrap it up for the evening and that's sort of

just been my daily routine with weekends being similar but without the sitting at the desk part so yeah it's it's it's just you know make your bed is something I've been telling people to do it's it's a huge difference especially if you're just if you're struggling for sure I feel like that that sense of normality that sense of control over your environment that you're having to inhabit all the time. It's a small thing, but it makes a big difference. Open the curtains. Open the windows if it's not miserable outside and make your bed.

That helps. Yeah, I've been open my windows a lot, even if it's not actually quite as warm as I'd like. I'd rather have the window open and put a hoodie on just to get a bit of fresh air, hear some outdoor noises, unless I'm recording, obviously. But yeah, that does help. Actually, yeah, I'm quite lucky in that. I've got like two patty your doors directly behind my desk. So if I ever want some fresh air, just boomf, open the bad boys up.

Boom, yeah. No, definitely, like, I think I've definitely got more routine at the moment than, you know, I normally would. I think, like, obviously the situation almost forces you to have that because you don't have, you know, on a weekend, for example, normally before all this kicked off, I would be thinking, oh, well, you know, this weekend, I need to go into town anyway and, like, do a bit of shopping or, you know, I need to do whatever, go do some post. So that would be enough to make me get up on time and eat three square meals and do something with my day. But because I can't go anywhere now on Saturday and Sunday, you know, it would be easy just to kind of think, well, it doesn't matter what time I'm awake. If I'm just awake for, you know, as long as I sleep eight to ten hours, I can do it whenever I like. It can be awake when it's pitch black at night. It doesn't make a difference.

But, you know, I think it does actually. It's good for your body to try and stay in the rhythm. And so how many routines? does help. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, is that all our questions?

I felt like we only had four questions, did we? Did we? Oh, go, I've deleted all the questions as I go. I don't know. I think we may have had four last time as well. That's okay, though. I've got another one here, if you want to do a quick last one. As fast as you like.

Okay, so this is, we got the same question from about 15 people, I think. But what's the first thing we're going to do when quarantine is over? Oh, that is a good question actually God, it's kind of sad, but I might just I might stay inside an order a McDonald's because I've been thinking a lot about McDonald's. Oh, is McDonald's totally should the minute? Yeah.

Oh, what the fuck? Oh, man. Oh, Gregs as well. Yeah, Greg's. I think because McDonald's is too front facing and the kitchens are probably too kind of pokey that they're not really able to just magic themselves

into a, you know, just a delivery-only service. I think they're struggling too much to do that. I totally missed that. I didn't realize McDonald's shut down. Wow. When quarantine is over, I think I'll want to go out somewhere. You know, I'm not going to go out on the piss. I don't do that anyway.

I just want to go out during the day to like, just like a nice park or something or, you know. I'm a bit, I'm not sick of doing the same walks already because, you know, it's nice just to get out and just hear birds singing and stuff. But I just miss being able to hop in the car and, like, drive down the road to, there's, there's so many nice places around here. There's, like, forests and rivers and, you know, little, like, hills and stuff to walk

around and castles and things. And I can't go to any of those because you're supposed to walk from your front door. So, yeah, yeah. I just wanted to do, like, a museum trip or something, because I was walking home from the shops the other day, and I saw, like, a big billboard for, like, a photography exhibit going on. I was like, oh, that's not happening. I want to do that. I just want to have like a nice day

where I go sit down, get something to eat in an actual cafe or restaurant rather than just at home. Yeah. Have a nice little culture day. And I also miss just being in the office. I think I've always kind of known that working from home wasn't really for me,

at least not for long periods of time. And I think it's now definitely cemented that. I like being near other people and having, you know, being able to bounce ideas off people and stuff like that. Yeah. And I think just human interaction, please. I miss culture for sure

one thing that's worth bearing in mind everybody needs to remember is that this thing isn't going isn't just going to go until we get vaccinated that you know we're flattening the curve currently by staying at home to make sure

we don't overwhelm health services but that doesn't mean coronavirus will be gone when those rules are relaxed so we still have to exercise caution we're still probably going to be told you've got to only travel if you really have to but just just bear that in mind that if people are in a rush to

I know you guys know this already but just general in general like if people are in a rush to go back outside and start hanging out with friends and stuff COVID-19 hasn't gone until it's vaccinated so don't forget that

I'm actually quite scared for like when quote-unquote isolation like gets lifted because that's going to be a mammoth amount of people who all go out once and who all like a lot of people will go and get it

yeah it's going to be a massive spike again definitely that's partly why I say I mean, that's partly why I said I don't want to go out on the piss. I mean, as I said, the other reason is because I don't like doing that anyway. But, you know, I mean, like, I'm not going to, I'm not going to rush out to a shopping centre or to,

you know, whatever. Cinema. Yeah, cinema. You know, I just, I want to be allowed by the police to go and drive to a place where there's still no people, but at the, like, really, if I walked out of my front door, got in my car, and drove off to a forest

somewhere, did a walk around, drove back. I'm not going to come into contact with people, but I appreciate that it's not for me to decide, well, that's fine then, because actually, you know, there are rules in place and I want everyone to respect them. And, you know, I am also going to respect them because I want everyone else to. So, yeah, it's a long-term thing. We've got to be very careful for a long time. Absolutely. So, you know, that's one of the things I'm looking forward to, is being able to still exercise caution, but just in a way that I know is safe, but is also legally allowed for me to do. Because at the moment, I can't do that.

Definitely. Definitely. Well, there we go. Thank you very much for those questions, Mikey. Thank you. And there's just enough time, actually, for a quick update on the Hoover story,

if you guys are ready. Oh, my God. So last time I took it apart and put it back together and, God, you'll never guess what happened next with this 1990s Hoover. Yeah? It just didn't work, right?

It didn't work. Even after I put it back together with all of my technical know-how when it comes to Hovers, didn't work. So I had to go online and buy a replacement hoover, right? Because this one clearly is just busted. And you will never guess what happened next.

Oh no. What happened? Please. We just have to wait until next time to find out. Oh. Are you sure that wasn't just exactly the same update you gave last time? I kind of feel like we already knew that you were buying one online. I'm fairly, I actually listened because I forget where I'm up doing this.

story. But I listened, I listened to the podcast from a couple of weeks ago, and I noted down what I said. And it was that I put it, I took it apart and put it back together. Okay, that's fine. I believe. You'll never guess what happened next. Right. You know, you're saying that it sounds like I'm repeating myself, almost like the story's being dragged out, which is, you know, a bit insulting, really. So yeah, just please enjoy the ride and keep your arms and legs inside at all times. Thank you. Oh, I really am. thank you for the constant updates that's fine you know we'll get there eventually

which has got to stay strong store dot yoxcastcom Michael there's stuff there right there's lots of stuff there and if you if you go on that store you can find some lovely vidyat stuff but I will say probably hold off for the time being if you're looking for some vidyats merch

hopefully in the next in the coming weeks there'll be some new lovely stuff on there there'll be a big announcement when that happens but if you do if you feel like ignoring me and giving us money still you're more than welcome to do that. And if you want to do that, you can use code Vidiots at checkout for 10% off everything on the Oggscast store. I say this while drinking out of a Vidiots mug at home. Oh, nice.

It makes a taste that so much sweeter. So yeah, if there's anything that takes your fancy on the Yogscast shop, please do. There's some new coffee on there, if you're feeling fancy, get yourself some coffee. And you can get 10% off using code Vidiots. And that directly helps us out, I think. sure how it works. Yeah. Outstanding. There's some kind of maths there. I don't know. I'm a convincing salesman, I know. We don't buy anything and we don't know how our chord works. Yeah, there's nothing on there. But there is, so buy it or don't. You know one of those two. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash video official. That's where we're doing things as well as

Twitch.tv.com slash vidiates official where we're doing some streams. I just streamed again with my friend Ben, Mikey streamed again, just this weekend. So make sure you check in on social media. That's where we'll tell you when we're going to be doing postings, doing posting, doing streams and such. So make sure you swing along there if you can. Streamlabs.com forward slash vidiots official to donate and get a shout out at the beginning and end of the podcast. You'll be a member of pod squad. We've got a number of pod squads here. Mikey, take it away. Oh, boy. Oh, God. Let me, oh, dear.

He's got it. He's got it. Okay. That noise Ben G makes, leave Hoover alone. Willie Ray Waris. Thank you again for your generous, generous donation. Thank you. For Panticoor, oh my God, slumble piss. Emily, flat-arm Richard slapping. Mr. Moe Lester. That's Lester spelled us in the town or city or whatever it is. Mikey's secret vegan sausage.

Potato Grids Hobag L Baker 97 Big Titty Jesus, 42 Not so tiny Peter P underscore underscore underscore E underscore underscore underscore T underscore underscore underscore underscore E Defoe's distracting dong Hand Slamwich

Lord Brotovitch Michael Jokeson as Wallace Wood for Woodrose Wilson A bald sweaty Roman Brother Voodoo Serene the Birch bitch Willem Defoe's massive Wongall and Emily found a few lemons.

As well as that, we've got baldy bouncer, Haddy Emnor, Chubnub, two legit for tits, elephant shagger for life, sloppy, sloshy farty bum, Ben Popper the Pussy Bopper, Daddy shits his pants, Al Gore's Rhythm Fitness DVD,

Kissy Hawk, Butterfield or the Bellad, McFortchard Cookies, hot lettuce on a pizza lolly, Comrade Vegan Buns Thank you for your very generous donation Sam de Quarantine Barbarian Thank you for your even more generous donation

Whoa Mrs. Guggins Donner-Wank Wendy Miller Who's got my Maroon 5 CD Ian Beals love sock Jack Without the Sea Dorsal Fin Tristam and Small Fush

and Uncle Fatty's droopy belly Fantastic And finally rounding out the lot We've got McFortune Cuckies Vaj My Chinco What's wrong, I love. Prince beef cakes. Big Titty Jesus 42. Lick my hot fuzz. Sean of the bread. The world's end wasn't that good. Fast cow locked in a jeep. Stees ace. Another stees ace. A third steese

Ace. Oppressive squid. Cogito Primus. 20. Ben needs a new mic. Mikey's rancid fart. I'm Ben and I like Lord Bratovich. All the UK's toilet paper. Ben Club's backpackers to death. Fucklees and cock wallop. COVID-20. Cow that's faster than it looks. Wash your hands clean off. Wanted cows on Tinder. Hunt, down and murder Jack Frost. Ben's family lit my car on fire. Vote for a fart-free podcast. Since Peter nonced chocolate. Sexy Time Sardines. Big Titty Jesus 42. Bayo Loriphtaglariscomvimo. Mikey's Pepper Pig Fetish Porn. Ken Dodd's Dad's Dogs Dead. Andrei Saro Karnian, thank you very much for the donation. I'm very sorry for butchering your last name.

And finally, killing horses in Red Dead. You beautiful, wonderful people. Thank you so much for your donation. And if you'd like to join Pod Squad, get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. Streamlabs.com forward slash idiots official. Michael, where can we keep up to date with what you're doing? At Parrot Boy on Twitter, that's the best place to follow everything I do. Recently, I found a TV in the bins and repaired it.

That's amazing. That was great. So if you like stuff like that That's the way That's the place to go Brilliant Brilliant And Peter, where are we?

We're team triple jump everywhere YouTube, Twitter, Twitch And that's what Ben and I are doing now We're doing familiar shows That you know and love from vidiates Like we've got Rules Boss He's over there still doing challenges Instead of, it's not called piece of cake anymore

We're cooking on main menu We're doing worst games ever We've got a video game podcast Where we do video game stuff specifically and we have got I always it's always different every time but I always miss one off

You did cooking I've done cooking I've done rules challenge you've done worse games ever I guess that's it for video it's content but that's not a video style show I must have done it all

lists and stuff Well yeah what about the What about the other one prove it Is it that one? Which other one what? Prove it prove it That's it. That's the one.

There it is. Yeah. Done that one too. Fantastic. Yeah, go check us out. We're streaming five days a week over there. Holy shit, really? Yeah, between the two of us, five days a week, three streams each.

One being joint, plays it. And so there's plenty for you to watch over there, and we're trying to stream on videos as well. So between the lot, there's a lot to keep you occupied as well as us. So do come along if you can. And Mikey's been bopping in on occasional Thursday streams when we've been doing joint Minecraft streams for 10, 15 minutes at a time. It's become a nice little tradition. So keep your eyes peeled on Thursdays.

I usually bop in for some Minecraft fun. Yeah. If you want to see a little Fudam's revival, Mikey pops in. Exactly. So Thursdays is when we stream together, doing some Minecraft. You might see a Michael Johnson if you come along.

Why not? Might see Mikey's Johnson, who used to say. Finally, leave us a review on iTunes or a review slash rating on your platform of choice. It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. Thank you very much. Boys, has anybody got a final question

for the audience? to answer in the comments. Oh, I mean, I don't think we came up with any. Well, Mikey, yours was pretty weird, but I'd like to hear the audience's wild quarantine food choices. There must be some weird stuff out there that people have been forced to eat. Yeah, surely. Yeah, that sounds fun.

Yeah, excellent. But Ben and I were relatively normal. Quite tame. Quite normal people. That's the thing, that wild Michael Johnson. My noodles and cheese and pom bears and bread I'm telling you all I'm living luxury

Well there we go Thank you so much for listening everybody And thank you for all your support As always hope you're keeping safe and sane Look after each other And we'll be back in a couple of weeks' time Alright we're gonna go Yeah

Alright then son Okay take care of bye so See you son Bye see you son Bye Bye Thank you. I'm not

I'm not I'm Thank you.