Podiots - Podiots: Episode 53 - Pints o' Cream

Episode Date: May 19, 2020

Mikey is feeling quizzical, WeirdkiPete-ia returns with a mystery mummy and Ben finally concludes the hoover story! Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Condition supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explore Volvo.com. I'm just going to unplug my fish filter, which I realize I've left on. Wait, are you supposed to do that? Just for like... That's because it's noisy. Oh. It'll be okay.

They'll be fine. I'm looking at them. They've got, you know, they'll have an hour of buzz free, buzz free time. Is the fish filter where the fish go through to clean them? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. It's like a car wash.

Yeah. spinning bristles. Oh my God. Speaking of car washes and fish, can we talk about how wild shark tail was? Shark tale.

God, it was something. I never saw it, though. I just saw the ads and the fish that looked exactly like Will Smith. Yeah, there was a sexy Christina Aguilera fish and I'm still to this day

don't know really how I feel about it. Yeah. Working at the car wash. I remember seeing that at the cinema and there was lots of weirdly sexy human-looking fish in it and thinking to walk something in me as a kid. Yeah.

All these kids films are, it's like, we're going to do animals, but you're going to want to fuck them at the end. Yeah. Why don't this generation have to deal with Judy Hopps? That's the... That's very true. I mean, you know, who wouldn't?

My name's Mikey. I like parrots, holidays, and having sex with sexy fish. Oh, no. And hops. Judy hops. Oh. I feel like, I feel like,

I feel like those, that particular movie, SharkTale, probably hasn't aged well at all. No. Well, I didn't do very well to begin with, did it? Because it was being compared to, I think Finding Nemo was already out at the time. And it was just... Was it? I think, I think that's right, yeah. Oh, man.

Let me do some live research right now. Finding Nemo release. I'll give a controversial opinion then. Yeah. I will say, because Finding Nemo, obviously, classic film, right? Yeah. But it's a bit of an emotional roller coaster from start to finish. Top to bottom. Sharktail, what a ride.

It came out a year later, Shark Tale. Oh dear. Will. What are you playing at? William. Big William style. It's rewind time. I think, yeah. Well, Sharktail in Finding Nemo serve two very different purposes. If you want to feel sad and love your dad or something, you watch Finding Nemo, but you just want to have a good time and watch some fish in a big city.

Bam Yeah If you want to love your dad You watch Finding Nemo Yeah I have to do that I'm capable of loving my dad Otherwise

Well you locked him out The bunker didn't you So yeah It's not You got previous as it is Not been watching enough Pixar clearly No

No Good Well uh On that note Should we Uh You know Shall we

We shall We shall We shall Hello everybody and welcome to Podiots, the official. Bam! Vidiots! Oof! Podcast.

It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Mikey. I'm going on. I'm going on. We're talking about listening to a podcast.

I didn't. Understand any of that. No. All three of us mumbling over each other. My name. Yes, such a jitty-hop. So, are you guys enjoying your unlimited outside free time now? Oh, I've been to Wales and back like 80 times because I'm allowed to.

You and Wales, why don't you just marry Wales? Yeah, well, I will. And what is it, Cumbria as well? I think you can't go into Cumbria at some reason. Whoa, I don't want to know what you do. I'm behind closed doors with the whales, right? Yeah, that's between you and you and. You and Brea, Jesus.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, bloody hell. Whales are in shark tale, aren't they? Probably. Yeah. Yeah, probably. I want to hear, like, a daff, a whale with the voice of daff, the voice of an angel. That'd be great.

I would do an impression, but as I, like, began to mouth the words, I realized just how much I can't do a Welsh accent. It's a challenging one, isn't it? Unless you're surrounded by it, it's a difficult one to just sort of pull off. Call Daff. Call him right now. Yeah, call Daff. Call him Call Daff

Do you have Daff's number? Oh God I'm sorry I don't have his number actually No Oh what Shit I'm a failure Man I don't have Daff's number

Maybe if we just Shout something in Welsh Loud enough He'll appear I'll just quickly Google Welsh Welsh word Blythe Drogue

Is Bad Wolf in Welsh Oh That sounds like Something you will have learned From a very specific kind of website. Not a website from a TV show.

Oh. Doctor Who? Pornographic TV show? Oh, okay. Well, in a sense, Doctor Who, the best pornography there is. Yeah, absolutely.

Just waggling that big sonic dildo around. Did you think I'd been watching Welsh pornography and one of, someone called someone else a bad wolf? Is that?

Yeah, no, I was going straight for furry porn, personally. Oh, I see. That's really where my mind went here. Is it true? Not Pornhub. CM or whatever it would be for Welsh. Do they have their own web extension?

I don't know. They probably deserve one at this point. Maybe it'd be dot wah. Who knows. Have you, though? Just to clarify. Have I what? I ever watched Welsh furry porn?

Not Welsh furry porn though. Only Polish furry porn and Welsh inflation porn. You've got to separate them out. Everyone's got their own specialism. Have you seen Shark Tale in Polish? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's good.

It's a special, it's a special time. Hey, welcome to the podcast, everyone. Hey, hey, how are we doing? You're right? All right. Are we good? Yeah, I'm all right. You're doing okay.

The people at home have had a nice sort of, you know, when you tip, you dip your toe into the water just to sort of get acclimatized, I feel like we've pushed them into an ice bath today with the beginning of this episode. Yeah, it's been a bit of a ride, but it can only get better from here, hopefully, please. Yeah. Yeah, imagine this being the first. What if you just sort of heard about this Poddiot's thing and thought you'd check out episode 53 or whatever it is

and like, oh, oh, God, oh no. This is what it is. It's the furry podcast, it's not. And yet, in spite of all of that, people still took a pun to head of time and thought, I might support these guys monetarily, just in case they do an episode that's not about Shark Tale and Welsh furry pornography.

Just for once. But we did. And so I would like to apologise to this week's Pod Squad. Where a group of people have gone above and beyond the call of duty, beyond telling their friends, beyond sharing us around, you know, all over the place, just passing us about like a, I don't know, like a what, like what are we passed around like?

Like a prostitute at a party with lots of demeaning men in it. Oh! Passed about. Past about. That's the main event of the evening. It's just two pieces of fusili going at it. If you go to streamlabs.com forward slash poddiet's donations, that's the new link, and donate three pounds or more. You can get a shout out at the beginning.

And at the end of the show, these fine people have done that. We're going to shout them out now. Thank you so much to... Mikey. Oh, sorry. Thanks a lot to Mikey. Thank you to Mikey. Thank you.

Everyone, round of applause for me for forgetting to read. Bertie Bassett's Black Ball. That's not racist Jesus Oh dear Katie Kinsolo Duke Moe Lester Mother's silky nightgown

El Baker 97 Just have a tuck Vaucanes Wepwaps Felgenf Awesome Fox 42 Defo's

Dad Dede did Oh my God Defos De De De De De De De Dedo Dick Nice D Dede da dodo dick That's kind of cute

It rolls off the tongue I mean he's not cute at all want to think about his, um, his, his, his, his, his, his wip-ed-ed-ed-ed-a-dick, his little William Wilson Defoe. D.B.P. Stole your slogan. Yeah, we'll talk about that after this. Stephen Scodes. Emily Lemons. Ars face. Jump in to Mikey's fart hall. Part boy, part car, boy car. And Owen, who sends a little, little message. He says, You bastards murdered the Vicky Pollard doll. But please be safe during lockdown. Must be re-watching small, pull some tat.

Oh, maybe they sent the Vicky Pollard, Don. Oh, I'm sorry. Owen, I'm sorry. The Pod Squad list continues with Andrew thinks Ben is hot, 69, 420. All right. Kitty Hawk. Amida Sanj? Stetson. Stetson.

Trunter's 15 quid blobber job. Lord Brotovic, tall glass of diet bopsy, royal farticide. Peter flips Mikey's mom Oh, I can swear on here, can't it? Peter fucks Mikey's mom

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Or... It's got the word nonce in it So who knows Right Wait, how do I say this And they've been very generous and said, post-lockdown, treat yourself money. It will be interesting seeing how things change after this.

Dublin bound for uni in August, so fingers crossed. Thank you very much. America's shitty gun fetish. And finally, Samuel Last Workweek, Barber, who says, Doing this now, so I don't forget. I started listening at the very start of idiots and would listen slash watch in my classroom while marking papers. Next week is my last teaching.

So thank you for literal hundreds of hours of enjoyment these past years. Oh, thank you so much. We've also got Discs of Ground Up Cow, Happy 13th Birthday Marshall, Peter's C.D. Babs, Lord Vrota Bitch. Oh, my goodness. Thunder Dick Deluxe, Chief Kegwins, Jakeid Nungle. Dorsal Finn Tristam, thank you very much for the generous donation. Have a nice, it says.

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I think it might be time for a question. James, at Corrosion Audio, asks, it's my round, lads. What are you having from the ice cream van? Oh. Good question. Summer's coming in, you know, it's getting warm. We're not allowed out to the ice cream van, but we can think about going. No, all of that.

I'm just going to close my eyes and let it wash over me. I happen to know that ice cream vans aren't actually an operation in some parts of the country because they protested and were allowed to do it. Wow. Essential service. Boy. Yeah. I bet they're really busy.

But everyone can't wait. All the kids pressed up against the windows looking at them longingly. We've got ice cream in the freezer. We got ice cream at home. Ice cream at home. It's just frozen heavy cream. Yeah, it's the worst kind. Awful.

Did I ever tell you about the time I got a big bowl of cream? thinking it was ice cream. Oh, what? What'd you mean? So this, this was, I was a child, okay? All right? Yeah, I was a child. It was at someone's, some adult party.

And I'd never really had cream before. I don't know what cream is, but I think it was, what's the thick cream? Is that clotted cream? Yeah. So it was, there was like a big old thing of thick cream, and I'm assuming it was next to some kind of, I don't know, fruit or meringue or some of bollocks like that. Yeah, or something. And I just thought it was ice cream.

So I had a, I just like scoop myself a big old bowl of it. I thought, wow, this is really soft, good quality ice cream. And a man said to me, wow, you're a, you really like cream, huh? And I was like, weird that you left out ice, but all right, noob, fuck off. I guess it is a bit soft. Maybe when it gets soft, you don't call it ice cream anymore. Yeah, maybe it's just cream at that point. I don't know.

I took one mouthful and then the predictable happened. I just put it in a corner of the room in level. it. And then the hosts of that party later found a giant bowl of clotted cream with one spoonful taken out of it. Yeah, just a spoon sticking vertically out of the top. And a very

sickly looking small boy in the corner looking ashamed. Oh no, he's been creamed. Clotted cream doesn't even taste that good. I think it's nice with stuff. Like it sort of adds a nice texture to it, but it doesn't really taste of anything. It's like slightly sweet. Very dense. Not really.

Yeah. It's a It's a flavour enhancer, isn't it? A texture enhancer. Good on a scorn with a bit of jam, but, yeah. I can't say I've ever had that. Never had it on a scorn. Wait, what? Haven't you? It's very good.

Wow. Jam cream and scone. It's good. Yeah, well, it's kind of a national icon, isn't it? Call yourself British? I know. I've had scones before, but I've just never had it with cream. A bit of cream.

I'm missing out. Back to the ice cream truck, who is patiently waiting for us to pick something. from the pictures on the window. Playing a scary, scary song. Yeah, I mean, I can no longer eat actual ice cream, but I would, probably my first choice would just be like, you know, a cone without the chocolate flake in it. Whether it's Mr. Whippy, whether it's Mr. Whippy or actual dairy ice cream,

I don't know, I'd be happy with either. I don't mind Mr. Whippy. I think as I've grown older, I've been less excited by Mr. Whippy, but... Is Mr. Whippy not actual ice cream? What is Mr. Whippy? Well, it's... Because it's, actually, now you said that, it's always definitely been different. Hmm.

It's, but, I don't, I don't know exactly, it is a bit more like having a bowl full of clotted cream in a way. It is. It's like a hybrid, uh, cream and dairy combo. Oh, yeah. Okay. Uh, yeah, it's made out of gelatin. It's made out of gelatin. Geloton, double cream, milk and vanilla extract. You bring it to a boil and then I'm assuming you freeze it.

Yeah, it's not actually made out of, it's just like a, uh, Yeah. Whoa. I didn't know that there was gelatin in it. I had no idea. That's what this recipe has anyway. I soaked the gelatin leaf in a bowl of cold water, I don't know. But yeah, there we go.

If I couldn't have, well, I can't have that now. And if they didn't have any dairy-free ice cream, I'm very partial to a... We used to say, when I was growing up, we used to pronounce it calipo, like that. But I think it's a calipo, isn't it? Yeah. And when I look at it now at the word, I'm like, it's definitely calipo. did that happen? I love for three calipaws, please.

Yeah, three calipos. But no, yeah, I love an orange calipo. I've had one semi-recently, actually. Last summer, when it was really hot, went to the shop on a couple of occasions, got myself a... Two of your finest calipos. Thank you.

You want anything from the shop? Calippo. Lucky boy. The Calipo trilogy. Yeah. What about you two? I should say Mr. Whippy is called Soft Serve in America.

Oh. All right. You want some clarification if you're over there. It's called different things all over the UK as well. Some people call it Mr Softie. Yeah, Mr. Soffey. Which sounds a bit, bit dodge. I got creamed by Mr. Softie.

Oh, no. The ice cream van man gave me a Mr. Softie in the back of his truck. Britain, Britain, Britain. What are we like? It's all right, though. He put chocolate sauce on it first. Yum, yum. Oh, it's covered in monkey's blood now.

Oh, jeez. Well, running on from that, I think, like, the perfect ice cream is, like, a double-99 dripping in monkey's blood. I think that was, like, my favourite as a kid. Is that... For those who aren't... I thought you were being a bit funny there, but is that actually what they call it, around your way? Monkey's blood. Wait, is that not a universal thing?

No. Yeah, I just let that slide. I was like, I don't really understand, but... Monkey's blood is the strawberry sauce you put on it. Wait, I had no idea that was just a Sunland thing. What the hell? That's really... It is quite bloody.

It's very drippy, isn't it? It's not even sauce. It's just like liquid, but, God, I've never heard that before. I've never really thought about it beyond that, but now I'm thinking kids are asking for monkeys' blood on their ice creams. It's a bit gross. Yeah.

That's really bizarre. You've got to feel sorry for kids who go on a, like, a weekend trip down to London or something, and then, you know, they're in the park. They go, can have a bit of monkey's blood on that, please. You what, son? Monkey's blood? Oh, my God. Please, I love a bit of monkeys.

Extra 50s worth a monkey's blood. Yeah, I can smell it. I fucking did. That's the thing. I would still say that now as an adult. It's not just a childhood thing. That's just what it is to me. Christ, well, be careful when you're ordering in brizzle. I'm going to have to...

Urban dictionary. I'm going to have to make most of this unlocked down stage, find an ice cream truck, and ask him for monkey's blood, and see what happens. Yeah. Northern English name for strawberry sauce, originating from the comparable color of blood and strawberry sauce, there is no real explanation as to why it is specifically the blood of a monkey

and then there's a quote here Ea bust us some monkey's blood on man 99 please Son Son Bust us some monkeys bust us I don't want to bust anything on my ice cream Maybe

ice cream van men or women all over the country would know what it is because it's just a term of the trade So even though it's a local dialect thing If you went down south and said monkeys blood They'd be like Ah yes I understand What if they pulled out

They sort of gave you a knowing nod And then they pulled out a special A special separate container Of actual monkey's blood They just wrung out a baboon all over your ice cream Yeah What if they actually pull out a monkey And kill it in front of you

Gutt him Gutt the monkey Yeah Bust it out on my 99 Please Oh god Fuck it out I would have a zap

Do you remember zaps? Oh, which one was zap? Yeah, I'm aware of them. I'm going to send you guys a photo of that. We should probably tweet all of our ice creams as well. Oh, yeah. That's a zap. It was like a weird multi-colored ice cream.

It was delicious. I mean, it looks nice, but it looks like Oh, it's very 90s. An accident in an E-number factory, doesn't it? It's extremely not okay anymore. But yeah, as it says there, with toffee flavor. So it tasted of toffee, it was like crazy, vivid colors. and I used to love getting zaps.

That or a feast, where it's the chocolate ice cream on the outside with a hard layer of chocolate ice cream and then a solid bit of chocolate in the middle on the stick. I remember the feast. That was also very good. Do you guys remember this is totally, well, it's only on topic in so much as the word zap is involved?

Do you remember the CITV show Zapp? No. Which was set in like a comic strip. And they were like... I'd maybe recognize it if I saw it. Yeah, Neil Buchanan was in it. He played like a French artist who used to sort of do chef's kisses all the time and paint things.

Neil Bukaki. And there were the handymen, which was like these two gloves that would make things. I think if you saw it, you would... I'd recognise the handyman thing. For some reason, as a kid, I had a weird biased against CITV. I thought it was for like scrub children. I watch CBBC.

I rarely watch CITV, but I did watch Zapp. I used to love CITV. Usually SM TV live in the mornings on Saturdays, just because even the adverts, We're all catered towards kids. It was toys and fast food and fun stuff, you know. Not encyclopedia adverts that you're getting on BBC. You're joking.

Boring. Good. Should we do a thing next? Yeah, I've got a thing. Yeah, all right. Okay. Here we go. Are you boys ready?

Sure. Oh, yeah. settle in, and I can only apologize in advance. Hey everybody, how you doing tonight? Let me hear you make some noise. Got to get that hype going. We're going to talk all about some Hoos today. You heard the journey from the very beginning.

Fellow old Hoover just didn't want to work, did it? This is a tale that's been too. told torturously over the course of nearly five months now and you've been along for the whole ride. We're going to see it out in style. Let's get, can I get some cheering? Yeah, that's nice. I like that one. Give me another cheer. Can I get everybody on the left-hand side of the crowd to make some frog noises? Okay, I heard some sheep in there. That's also fine. Everybody on the right-hand side. Let's hear some dogs. I said dogs. Some of you did ducks.

Alright, let's get some claps going. Clap your hands, everyone. That old Hoover, it didn't work. But then we took a look at it, fixed it, and it still didn't work. Then went into the website and tried to find a guide. Turns out it was from the late 90s. People born in the 90s, can I hear you make some noise? Everybody says...

You'll never own a home. But what happened next? Did it work? Let's find out what happened to the Hoover. Let's get that drum rolling please. And Ben, take it away. We're going to be able to be. Um, I hovered the whole flat and now I've got a working hoover.

Chloe Elizabeth at Animal Crossing at O Fruitcake asks, If you had the entire weekend, do you think you could eat everything on Brian Butterfield's treat day table? Could you do it by yourself, or would you drafted a friend to share the load? Oh, my God, share the load. So, if you would like me to remind you of what was on Brian Butterfield's table, I can tell you right now. I'd love nothing more. Please, please.

Pisa, birthday pie. Come on. Come on, you can do better than that. Do it. You want it in... All right, sure. I didn't want to overdo it, you know. I thought it might just be a bit too obvious to do it.

No, perform for us. Okay. Be the Butterfield. Pisa. Birthday pie. Pints of cream. Pork cylinders. Potato grids. Artificial bacon. Large Macs. Sandwich casserole. Chocolate quails eggs. Garlic pudding. Fluffy ruffs. Hoisen Crispi owl. Pasta pillows. More bobble bonds. McFortune cookies. Discount foie gras. Egg and ham slabs. During dinner mints. Mystery meat. Keisha's Lorraine. 20 cheese omelet.

And that's it. That's a lot. That is a lot of food. It is a lot. And I think he's got multiple plates of some of those things. Yeah. I mean, I will say immediately, if we are going to tackle this together, we're going to need new belts. Yes, we may need to buy a new belt.

On standby. And also, ham and egg slabs, I'm all over those. I can sort those out. Yeah? Yeah. I love a hammond egg slab. Hammond egg slab? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Okay. I quite like a pork cylinder. I'll give me the chocolate quails eggs. Yeah. We're slowly tag teaming this. Oh, the thing is, Mikey, he can only contribute to certain things, I guess. You know, if we maybe have vegan bonbon, bonbons.

No, you know what? For Brian Butterfield, I'm going to, I'm going to take part in the death of animals. You're going to engage in some hoisting, crispy, very endangered. owl. Yes. That's what makes it so delicious. Yes. I think, I don't know, I mean, Chloe Elizabeth may have been asking each of us individually if we could, you know, each handle it over a whole weekend. I don't think I could. I think I would need a bit of help. But I think if the three of us all did it together, I don't think we'd need to bring anyone else in. I think we'd manage it over, over two days. I mean, Sunday is rest day, but I think

in this instance, if we don't eat it all on treat day, we could manage it personally. I think so. As a unit. An absolute unit. By the end of it, we would be an absolute unit. I think, yeah, we could split it up into like every two hours. We've got a road. We've got shifts to work.

All right, Ben's 2pm. Time to work on the sandwich casserole. Ben, you still recovering from the potato grids? I think, yeah, I think it'd be doable between three people. One person, or that looks impossible. In fact, Ben could eat the pie of cream because he's got...

Yeah. He's got previous. I'm ready. Just give me a spoon. Tell me it's ice cream and I'll do my best. Perfect. That or I'll hide it really well in someone's house. Yeah. Two weeks later, the fine clot of cream

in the plant in the corners. Oh, what happened here? Yeah. I mean, surely the most difficult part about that. I mean, all of those, I think, are kind of normal foods just with silly names, but I don't see how garlic pudding can be anything other than garlic pudding. Right.

I mean, it looks like a trifle, but it's got garlic in the name. That's what I was going to ask. That and Fluffy Ruff, I'm not entirely sure what they actually are. It looks like cheese on toast, a Fluffy Ruff to me. Fluffy to me looks like eggy bread. Oh, it could be eggy bread. What do you get Fluffy Ruff from?

I think that's one I just can't, I've never been able to translate Fluffy Ruff or garlic pudding. They're the true mystery meets of all this. Ultimately, you know, we're all. God fearing men, I feel like it would be sort of hubris on our part to assume that we could even attempt to achieve the same heights that Brian Butterfield has. Well, I'm a 20 cheese omelette fearing man for sure. I would think I would have 20 different kinds of diarrhea if I ate that. You would. We could just paint the walls, couldn't we? Yeah, we could. You just set him up and

point him where you want to paint it. Oh, God. But I think you're right. As a team, we could probably do this. Yeah, I would agree. Good. Well, that's that answer, I think. Chloe, yes. Yes, we could. But only through the power of friendship. Yeah, for sure. It would be teamwork.

Would we like, maybe another question first, before we do another thing? Hmm. Why not? Nicole H. Varnum says, Hey, my awesome dudes. What movies or TV shows are you all watching during this crazy damn time? Now, I know we've

talked about movies and TV TV shows before. But, you know, it's never evolving thing. We're currently all lockdown. I thought it's probably worth revisiting this. I want to know what you're watching right now. What are you watching, Peter? That's why I want to know. I've just had a, I'm coming to the end of my first week's trial of Disney Plus. I got the trial just because, I mean, like, I'm on an O2 phone deal, so I will be able to add Disney Plus to my contract. and I think you can actually get a whole year of it for free if you're actually signing up or switching to O2 this isn't a sponsored thing

but the thing the reason I know that and I'm a bit annoyed by it is I've literally just switched to O2 and about four weeks later I realized I could have had I think free Disney Plus for a year heart breaking damn anyway I'll be adding it to my phone contract but I thought I may as well just take the free week as well

first just to give it a go I've been watching The Mandalorian with Amy, and she is as in love with Baby Oda as I expected her to be. She'd seen a little bit of it before when, like, just incidentally where I'd been watching it and she'd been in the room, but she's thoroughly enjoying that. What is Baby Yoda's name, like, actually in the series? Because he's not Baby Yoda, is he? He's just referred to as The Kid, I think.

Yeah. I think that's officially what he's called. So on, like, toy packaging, is it just Baby Yoda toy with The Kid? written on it I think so yeah I think that is genuinely his

in universe name at the moment because he's not been named yet oh I love it yeah or the child possibly

I think the episode is called the child but I think he's referred to as the kid yeah I think we could

brainstorm a new name for him yeah for sure maybe that's a question for next time

but the other thing is last night we'd watch an episode of Mandalorian there was still like a couple

of hours before we were kind of wanting to go to sleep and we didn't want to watch another

Mandalorian because we want to try and spread it out so we watched um like the first three episodes of the simpsons uh season three and god old simpsons is just so good isn't it like you know i know it's good you know it's good and you remember that it's good but when you do just sit down and watch it especially with someone it's that thing about i think there's like research shows that you laugh at things more when you're watching something with a person in the room and god we we were like cracking up at jokes that I knew we're coming, but we're just, when you've got someone to watch it with as well,

that makes all the difference. So that's what I'm watching right now. It's nice to share laughter. Yeah, exactly. Share the laughter. Ben, what you've been watching? Well, I watched all of Watchmen, the HBO series. Yeah.

Who watches the Watchmen? Me. I do. He's me. That was excellent, but it was quite heavy going. So I was looking for, and I've also got Chernobyl, Shinobel. churnable sort of on the to watch list and I didn't want to leap straight into that because watchmen was quite quite heavy stuff at times and I sort of wanted to breathe it from that

so I binge watched every available season of working moms on Netflix nice it's really good it's a great show yeah I love working yeah I really enjoyed it there's um like this there's some inconsistencies like you know watching it all back to back to back immediately, you know, over the course of a few days, uh, allowed me to see this. But like there, there are, there are some annoying things about it, some storylines that just sort of get dropped for no reason. Like, you know, one partner's made spurious allegations against the others, the other where it's like, what the, that's so messed up. I can't wait to see the resolution of that. And then it just sort of gets forgotten about. And it's like,

oh, okay, one in mind then. Uh, but I really enjoyed it. It's like, it's, it's not one of those quote-unquote sort of like more trashy TV shows like desperate housewives. Nothing against desperate housewives, but you know, it's sort of a level of, you know, quality, television, whereas this is actually, it's genuinely really funny and it's like, it feels quite, tag relatable. It is. It feels real in a lot of, in a lot of places. Like some of the situations are ridiculous that they get themselves into, but it's, you know,

the emotions and the situations, you know, you do, you feel for them, you empathize. and it's a thoughtful television show and I really enjoyed it. And I guess, like you say, it's good to have that pallet cleanser before you watch. Before I watch men melt. Yeah, I can't wait.

Yeah. Much men become pints of cream before you're very hard. No, just give me a spoon. What about you, Mikey? I binged all of better call soul in the space of like 10 days. Oh, wow.

Best 10 days in my life. I don't know. I love Breaking Bad, but when Better Call Soul first came out I watched a couple episodes and it didn't stick for me and now I'm really regretting not jumping in when it started

to be there for the ride because I really enjoyed it it's a really good series and it's everything I wanted from a Breaking Bad spin-off it's got all my favorite characters in it so I had to recommend it if you were like me

you've been putting it off go watch Better Call Soul although it's a bit sad at the minute because the next season's the final season and because of the situation It's been delayed. So now I'm with the rest of the world and waiting for it to be released

and it's a bit terrifying because a lot of the cast are quite old and frail. Oh no. I hope they aren't taken. Please. Oh my God. It's a very real threat, isn't it? Yeah.

Wow. Okay, well, there you go, everyone. There's some things to watch, old and new for you. Go do it. Do it. So, it's time for a thing. I'll go. I'm happy to go.

Okay. This is not just a thing. This is a case. community interaction thing. That's right. You at home, as well as Ben and Peter, can play along with the, oh, I didn't think of a name

for this. The tweenies. The tweenies, yay! We'll play along with the Poddiet's episode 53, pub quiz. Yay! Pubby it's. There we go. There we go. Thank you, Peter. You saved my ass.

You're welcome. So everybody at home, grab a pen, paper, or writing device of choice. If you driving a car at the minute just put your phone in your left hand and cruise control that baby to success put it on autopilot and it'll be fine yeah do i need a pen and paper yeah oh you can use notepad whatever whatever works for you guys okay okay so i have three rounds five questions each the first round is just a nice little general knowledge thing and we've got round two is video games we know a thing or two about that and round three is

a music round. Okay. Are you all ready to go? Are you ready to get pub? Pubbed? Totally. Yes. Question one.

Which country's national flag is the only one that is not rectangular? So this is not the design on the flag. This is the physical shape of the flag. I actually know this. Hey. I'll give you both a few moments to think about your answers. It's fine. I nailed it.

I got it. Oh, bloody. Yeah, he's done it. question two what is Dwayne the Rock Johnson's middle name is it not the Rock

sadly not no there's an extra extra word in there I'm assuming Ben's very familiar with this oh yeah absolutely practically married oh nice

this is I want to do a Simpsons question but every question seemed really obvious to me so I don't know if this is going to be too hard but in the Simpsons, what was the name on Homer's fake ID he used to buy beer when he was 17? Oh my God. I think if you're familiar with the episode, if you think...

With the song. Fake ID, beer, 17, there's a song. Might take a moment. I think that's a middle-of-the-road Simpson's question, but... Okay, I nailed it. I got it. Don't worry. It's fucking done it. What animal are the canary animals, Islands named after.

Oh, for God's sake. There's always a question like this at a pub quiz. I was like, what, what do you mean? It's like, is it a trick? Is it just, I don't know. Is it Peter? He's second guess yourself. What do you think it is?

And you are home? Okay, got it. And last question of this round, this is arguably the most important question in the quiz. How old is Dave Benson Phillips? That's a good question I'd never thought about it before I bet he's older than he looks

I bet he looks good for his age Oh he looks fantastic for his age It's all that gunges moisturised Exfoliating gunge Right We'll move on to round two We'll do answers at the end Okay

Yeah I'm now worried that I've actually gone over on Dave's age And I've said oh I bet he looks good for his age And then I've put like, you know 81 kind of thing Oh I hope he's not listening I don't want to get upset and offended. No, no, well, we'll see.

Thank you, Dave. You look fantastic, regardless of your age. Round two, video games. Question one. What is Mario's last name? Oh, my God. This is a very stupid one, I love it. Question two.

The PlayStation prototype was designed by Sony in collaboration with which other company? So, in the early stages of the PlayStation's development, There was another company that was helping to, you know, make it happen. Who was it? I hope we both get that one, Ben. We've probably both covered it in lists before. Was it me?

Yeah, I think I definitely, I think I got that one from your lists. Right. I was like, I don't remember that. Three, how many shapes are there in Tetris? This is the shapes of the tetronomos, the little blocks. Including, like, mirrored ones of each other. Yeah, I guess that is. Different, yeah, because they're all a different colour, so...

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Question four. What is the highest level you can reach in Pac-Man? So this is for the arcade cabinet. There is a hard limit on how far you can progress in the game before the game just locks up and won't let you proceed. Oh, my.

So it's, I can't give any clues. I'd be a shit pub master if I was giving away clues, but it's a little bit of a big number. Oh, a little bit of a big number. Okay, all right. I'm going to add a digit to that. And final question... And the final question of the video games round.

In what year was the very first version of Minecraft released? Oh, like, what was it called? In-Dev. Oh, yeah, it was like in Finney Miner or something. This is like... So this is when our boy, slightly problematic notch, made a post on a public forum just saying, hey, here's my game.

Right. 10 euros to download the first version you boys ready for the music round yes it's time to face the music okay so to get round copyright issues

I've done some for nangling and so the context for the music round is you've gone on a big bastard night out with all your friends and you're having a really good time and you hear something in the distance it's it sounds like angelic music coming

from a club so you strut up to that front door but that bouncer knocks you back on your ass and says no you're too drunk and lets all your other friends in so you're sat outside the club on the floor crying and you've got to try and guess the songs that are playing from you know the kind of muffled audio coming from inside low pass situation that you've described is too accurate Michael yeah it's it's happened to me before Okay, so song number one. Oh, okay. Do we have to name the song and the artist?

Oh, yeah, I should have pointed out. Sorry, that's me being a silly boy. So it's one point for the artist and one point for the song name. Okay. I can play it again if you want. I don't want to hear it again. That's fair. It's terrifying

Song numeral dos Oh wow I don't recognize that It's an iconic song One of my favorites as a child I'm an uncultured swine Great videos as well I feel bad that I got the first one

and not the second one. How dare you? Let's see how you fare with number three. This club's not very good. It only plays 20 second clips of each song. It's very diverse, though, isn't it? And it's soundtrack. Yeah, well, it's a club for all people.

question number four can I just put Tony Hawk yeah I know that's what I think I couldn't even begin to tell you who this was absolute anthem I realize this probably is a bit harder for you guys because you're listening through Discord as well

so that's probably compressing things even more right this is the last song this is the last song. Squeaky voice squeakie voice teen

surely okay that was beautiful, Michael. Right. Would you like to run through the answers? Yes. Round one, question one. The country with the national flag that's not rectangular is Nepal. Yeah, it's two triangles.

Yeah, it's two triangles stacked on top of each other. It must be a hell of a flag to produce, because it looks really like it's literally just a cut out of two triangles. I put... I'll tell you the other one that's not rectangular. It's not an oblong, but technically it is a rectangle. Because it's a square, and a square, I think, by definition, is actually a type of rectangle, is Switzerland is actually a square flag officially. Really?

Yeah. But I guess a square is a rectangle under mathematical definitions. Yes, yes. Can we guess them before you give the answer? Oh, sorry, yeah. Sorry about that. Because I guessed Batman for that one. Oh, you put Batman.

It's very close. I did. Okay. What is Dwayne the Rock Johnson's middle name? Any guesses? Peck boy. Peck boy, good, good. I put Michael.

Michael. Dwayne Michael Johnson. Oh, lovely. It's actually Douglas. Oh, that's so much better than Dwayne. Douglas. He really lucked out on his names, didn't he? Dwayne Douglas Johnson.

If you... I'd introduce you to Douglas. If you knew the name before you saw the man, you would not... In your mind, he doesn't look like he does. No, he's an accountant. I don't think Douglas Johnson works in accounting. I've been working for JJM for 15 years now and I've just got this shiny watch. Oh no.

Question three. In The Simpsons, what was the name on Homer's fake ID? He used to buy beer when he was 17. My name was Brian McGee. Nice. I put Joma S. Himpsom. Peter's got it. The song goes,

When I was 17. I drank some very good beer I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID My name was Brian McGee I stayed up listening to Queen When I was 17 Wow very good Michael

That's when Homer tries to give up alcohol Question four What animal are the canary islands named after Island dog Good, good I didn't put canary I put ducks in case it's like canard

you know like the French I think Ben's got it what Canary Islands are named after the dog fuck off is it yeah I was trying to be as facetious as possible

you've accidentally got one right it comes from the Latin insular canaria meaning island of dogs oh my god dog island well done Ben but intentionally smart dog island

question five this i'm excited to see what you put for this one how old is dave benson phillips i put 48 oh that man is 24 years old ben's got it he's actually 22 years old yes wow yes bow down he's 55 years old in oh good on you dave he looks great yeah he's doing fantastic yeah and he ain't going to stop trucking just yet we should all salsa a bit more i think if we want to stay stay in shape everybody salsa everybody salser everybody salser right we're on to round two the video game round what is Mario's last name Mario Mario Mario

Mario it is so yeah I think originally obviously didn't really have a last name until the Mario Brothers film came about and I think someone in like the production team or like must be a director producer is like what's Mario's last name for his credit someone jokingly said Mario Mario

and they just kind of laughed at it and it accidentally just became low. Beautiful. Yeah. Question two. The PlayStation prototype was designed by Sony in collaboration with which company? Nintendo.

Nintendo. It was Nintendo. Anyone tell me, I think, because you're experienced boys, can you tell me a bit more about what this was? Yeah. I think Nintendo just wanted to move into a console with CD technology and they put this whole deal going

and then it kind of fell through and PlayStation, Sony went out on their own. They bagstabbed PlayStation. The bastard. They fucked them over and they ended up going with Phillips and then stood Sony up on announcement day. That's right. And then Sony were like, well, fuck you.

We're going to just use this then. And they absolutely killed them in the 90s as a result. Yep, fair. And there's like a couple of prototype Nintendo PlayStations out there that get sold for like thousands and thousands of dollars every so often on auctions. That just sounds like something you find on eBay

there's like a cheap knockoff, like the Nintendo PlayStation. Question three. How many different shapes are there in Tetris? I think it's seven. I was trying to work it out in my head, and I've guessed five. Peter's got it. Bingo it, exactly.

It's seven. Two S shapes, two L shapes, T shape, a square, and a strip, a line. Oh, I forgot about Square Boy. Oh, everyone forgets about Square Boy. Don't they have names? well. Yeah.

Are they like, what, the Pac-Man ghosts? Every shape's got a name. Yeah, they actually have. They've got in-universe names and they're stupid.

Really? Yeah. Oh, what hell? It's like the seven dwarfs. Cute. Yeah. Question four. What is the highest level

you can reach in Pac-Man? I apologize. This is a bit of a hard question because it's just an abstract number. Oh. How did you get on? Well, now I guess it's probably a multiple of eight because of like bits and stuff.

But I just put 9,9,919. close i guessed 69,420 nice blaze it 256 oh okay so um i'm not going to give either you a point for that that's just silly answers come on come on i did put 999 and then you said it's a quite a big number and i thought oh i'll make it bigger yeah i put 69 and then i thought i'll add 420 on there yeah nice direct a few people there. Question five. In what year was the very first version of Minecraft released? I actually...

I put 2006. Actually, I have no idea, so I just guessed 2008. Oh, Ben's closer. It's 2009. Oh, okay. Yeah, Notch released it on the 17th of May, 2009, after spending just a few days working on the game. Round three, the music round.

And I'm very excited for this. Yes. So, for non-copywriting fringing reasons, I've hunted down the MIDI versions of all these songs. All right. And some of them are works of art. So let's listen to number one. Do do do do do. Brilliant.

Oh, bloody hell. It is, of course, Scrillx, scary monsters and nice sprites. Make it stop. You should have recorded yourself going, Yes! Oh my God! Just piped it in. I do the bass drop. This is the sickest bass drop in music history.

Point each, is it? Sorry? Is it a point each? It's a point for the artist's name and the song name. I got Scrilex. I had no fucking clue what the song was, though. I just put... Scrilex nice sprites, but I didn't get whatever the other bit is.

I'll give you the point for nice sprites, I think. I'm going to be generous. Well, I'm not going to get any of the others right, so that's good to know. Actually, number seven, do you want to have any guesses for what you think it was? Was it, food fighters learn to fly? Bingo, bango. Well done, Ben. Let's hear a wonderful MIDI rendition.

Dave Grawl would be so proud. I'm just playing this on my Game Boy right now, I think. Oh. Every MIDI song has to be like a trumpet. This was the band's vision, wasn't it, right here? It was meant to be. Can you imagine if, in fact, Michael, that's a shit post for Twitter that you need to do later. Get them playing that song live, but as soon as the vocals come in.

Splice that audio in instead. Any guesses for number three? No idea. It's just Tony Hawks, isn't it? No, that's the next one. Oh, this was, I'm going to say, Rage Against the Machine, killing in the name of.

Bingo, let's hear it, rendered in whatever the hell this is. It sounds so upbeat. Oh, that tiny bass. Sick bass. Oh, what is that? Oh, the sick shredding there, my friend. That could be on a Tony Hawk's game, I think. It definitely could have been, but the next one definitely was any guesses?

No idea. I put trumpet bit by skateband. But he's done it. Let's listen to it and I'll give you the answer. It is, of course, Goldfinger Superman. Oh, I just saw that earlier. PlayStation were tweeting the playlist of Teni Gorse. Oh, Superman.

I don't know about how the word's going on. And this is. quite possibly going to be the best grand finale to any quiz ever on the planet Mm-hmm

Would you like to guess what it is? Well, I think we both know it was Ocean Man Yeah Oh, do you know the artist? No. Is it the titular

Ocean Man? I didn't know the band name It's Ween. Oh, I've heard of Wean. Wean. W-E-E-N. Hmm. But the

The MIDI version I found has some extra vocals added in, and let's all buckle down, buckles, because it's about to get real. Okay. Jesus Christ. Can we change our raid alert to that? Yeah, I think we need to, don't we? That's Ocean Man Feet Bonsie Buddy, the old desktop companion from fucking years ago. Beautiful.

That was beautiful. Right, boys, could you tally up your results? And we'll see who is the ultimate, ultimate quiz boy. Okay. I got eight. Eight? Yeah. Very good.

Very good. I think I also got eight Because I didn't take the beginning seriously But then I did all right in the music Yeah That's okay I'm very happy this happened Because I did prepare a tie-breaker

Oh no Is it musical please It's not Oh I wish it was This is a question close to home On what date Was the first vidiates video published Oh my God

Closest win So this is the very first is our announcement video, not worst games ever. Okay. Fourth of February, 2018. Oh, I think it's earlier than that. I think it was... I think our announcement video must have gone out in January.

Oh, shit. Yeah, I wasn't thinking about the announcement video. I'm going to say, like, the 25th of January. Ben, do you want to try again? Is this fair? 24th of January. Oh, well, it went out on the... 12th of January

which feels insanely early because we must have just moved down to Bristol like five days earlier yeah aren't we terrible terrible bidiots yeah who got that in the end I don't think either of us really

deserve a point for for not even being close well everybody wins just because you both got the same score doesn't make you both losers it makes you both winners yeah

Peter and I are just going to have a fist fight after this, so. Yeah, that's the gentleman's way to sort things out. Yeah, I think so. I will throw your shoes over a pub. That's how we're going to know. You throw my shoes over a pub? Yeah, I'm going to throw your shoes over a pub. That's how they settle it

on the UK office. Is it? Oh, yeah, that's right. I was so confused for a second, but. Is it a thing? Yeah, I think it's his shoes. They use shoe laces. Yeah, there's definitely shoes, wasn't it? Weird. I want to do that. Actually, throwing shoes,

That's really fun. I might try that after this. Don't do that, Michael. Thank you very much, boys and girls at home for playing, and Ben and Peter for taking part. Thank you, Mikey. Everyone at home, please. Please do send in your totals in the comments. I think the total score was out of 5, 10, 20.

That was out of 20. Amazing. So let us know how you did. Who's the ultimate vidiate boy? Thank you, Michael. Oh, I should say very quickly, actually. We do sort of like a weekly A weekly pub quiz-star thing

Just me and my family And there was a question about Who Miley Cyrus's famous godmother was And I knew it Because we got sent that fucking autobiography Of Billy Ray Cyrus And what was the answer? It's Dolly Parton

Nice Dolly Parton God, I didn't remember that one Did anyone else in the family get it? Yeah, actually they did They guessed just because of the country music connection. Yeah. Yeah.

I hate that I know that. Ah. Yeah. I could have known what the only non-rectangular flag is, but I don't. I know Miley Cyrus's godmother. Yeah. Good. Well, should we move on to another question?

Yes, please. This is from Shadowbat 66 at Shadowbat Gamer 6, who asks, and bear with me here, Have you had any experiences in which fans behaved inappropriately, like being rude or being overly friendly? You know, controversial subject potentially. You know, I don't want to pick on any specific people. I don't think we should necessarily delve into that. But I think, like, you know, generally we have a wonderful community,

lots of lovely people who support us and contribute to us and say nice things. but you know now and then get some weird comments meet some unusual people like one thing that I think Ben and I have both had which is a bit strange is people who open with the usual oh you know it's great to it's really nice to meet you really love what you do and stuff and it's like oh thanks very much thanks very much and then on more than one occasion. I think we've had it where they then instantly stop talking about what it is that we do and start talking about what other outlets do, sometimes our competitors. But it's a bit strange, I've found, to sort of, you know, say, oh, I really love what you do. But, you know, I don't watch it

very often now because I've, you know, I really like what they're doing at what culture, which is all true. You know, they're doing great work there. But, you know, you were good when you were at what culture that was that was great you know so that's that's definitely a bit strange yeah oh yeah fuck what you're doing now though yeah i think i i for me it's always i've never i've always had pretty good interactions um like in person like i on a night out in sunderland i just had someone come to me oh you're mikey from viduitt i was like i was drunk off my face it's like yeah so you're the strange inappropriate one maybe oh no i i think i definitely yeah i think actually I am the strange and appropriate one in person

I'm allowed to do that though but I think the YouTube comments as always are a wretched hive of scum and villainy there's always been a few funny ones but I think my favourite my favourite comment I've mentioned it before is it was a comment about me

it was like I'm quoting here I would never say this about someone but their pudge friend with Down syndrome can fuck off and also he's a vegetarian like some sort of woman Like some sort of woman Some sort of woman It's like yeah

I mean that's one of the more funnier examples But there's there's some nasty people out there But you can't get me down No But the vidiates The video audience is on the whole The best group of people That's ever been

Yeah Yeah Maybe well second to the triple jump audience You're all great Yeah Well I was about to say like with triple jump We've definitely had people On occasion

who have been like muted by the mods in our streams where they come along and you can tell that like I think they like the channel in general and they do followers and they you know you see them in different streams and stuff but if you're playing a game that they don't like they'll just comment like boring boring rubbish game uh hate this game bad game move on new game please bad game boring and then they just get muted because like it's fine if you don't like the game but just maybe just piss off and go stop watching do something else you don't have to sit in in the chat and tell us how bored you are. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. That's a weird thing. Absolutely. I think you've both nailed it on the head there. The bottom line is just, just treat us like you would another person. Or just treat us like you would, I mean, it shouldn't even need to be said, but just treat us like you would like to be treated, you know? Just don't be an asshole, because people more often than not just are.

And it's usually because they can hide behind the anonymity of the internet. But it goes beyond that as well. And in terms of people overreaching, this is why I don't have my DMs open, because some people are, most people are really lovely. Some people are just really fucking weird. And it's not even that they're being nasty. They're just really weird. And it's like, I don't, I shouldn't have to. And I won't put up with this.

So that's why my DMs are closed. But people are like that. And people are like that to, you know, people who don't do what we do for a living as well. It's just because we have a platform and an elevated following. because of that platform that means that we on average deal with more of that shit than perhaps other people do but it's it's just just stop just just think about how just think about if you're overstepping you know think about if you got a message that was like I think you're really pretty it's like fuck off that's strange you're strange stop it stop being weird

but yeah we're very lucky with our community on the whole they're all wonderful and lovely and supportive but there are you know it happens it just doesn't happen and it's shit when it does. Yeah, because it's a shame because, you know, it's got to the point, you know, you've got your DMs closed mostly for that reason. I've, mine are still open because, you know, on the flip side, I think you do occasionally get people message you with, you know, either like interesting bits of content that maybe we've missed, like, you know, people have made, you know, music for us or, you know, pictures and we maybe just didn't see it or, you know, sometimes I'll just chat with people about like, oh yeah, really enjoying the new, you know,

the Halo remaster or the Spiro trilogy or whatever. So it can be a really nice thing that, you know, you can have that more one-on-one interaction with fans. But unfortunately, there are some people that, what's the word, ruin it for everyone else, I suppose. And to the point that, you know, Ben's DMs are closed. I often think about closing mine. I haven't yet. I think I've got mine closed. Maybe I should open up just to see what I'm subjected to and then have a good cry.

Yeah, I mean, if you want to open yourself up to that, then you're not a welcome. It's my funeral. Yeah. Thank you very much for the question. I've got a thing. Oh, yes. Due to popular demand by one person last week, or last episode, it's the return of Wikipedia.

Weirdcompetia. Yes. Got what it was called, weirdcompetia. Wiki, weird, key. WikiCapitia. Wiki Austin, in parentheses, weird. Weird wikis. That's it.

We've got an article here called Persian Princess. Oh, sounds nice. Yeah. That's lovely. The Persian prince could start. The Persian princess or Persian mummy is a mummy of an alleged Persian princess who surfaced in the Pakistani Balochistan in October 2000. I'm probably going to mispronounce a lot of words here, but yeah, but Balochistan, I think, in, I guess it's a part of Pakistan. It's a province of Pakistan it says here. The mummy was found on October the 19th, 2000. Pakistani authorities were alerted to a videotape recorded by Ali Akba,

in which he claimed to have a mummy for sale. When questioned by the police, Akbar told them where the mummy was located at the house of tribal leader Wali Muhammad Riki in Karan near the border of Afghanistan. Riki claimed he'd received the mummy from an Iranian named Sharif Shah Baki who had said he had found it after an earthquake. The mummy had been put up for sale in the Black Antiquities Market for 600 million rupee,

which is the equivalent of 11 million. American dollars So far So not particularly weird But I actually deliberately missed out The second sentence of the intro to the article there Because there's a twist in the tail So

Essentially the mummy was sitting inside a stone sarcophagus With cuneiform carvings It had a golden crown on its brow And it was sitting atop a layer of wax and honey And eventually it ended up on display in the National Museum of Pakistan. Now there's a section here called doubts. News of the Persian princess

prompted American archaeologist Oscar White Muscarella to describe an incident the previous march where he was shown photographs of a similar mummy. Amarna Rala Riggi, a middleman working on behalf of an unidentified antiquities dealer in Pakistan, had

approached him, claiming its owners were a Zoroastrian family who had brought it to the country. When the dealer's representative had sent a piece of the coffin to be carbon-dated, analysis had shown that the coffin was only around 250 years old, which puts it well out of the way of the estimated period of like being ancient Egyptian, which was, you know, 2000 BC or whatever. So the coffin seems to only be 250 years old.

Interpol and the FBI were getting involved in investigating whether there was any fraud going on, forgery. Then it gets a bit weird. So, Pakistani Professor Ahmad Dhani studied the item and realised the corpse was not even as old as the coffin. The mat below the body was only about five years old. He contacted Asma Ibrahim, the curator of the National Museum of Pakistan, who investigated further. The inscriptions on the breastplate were not proper grammatical Persian. Cat and x-ray scans in Agha Khan Hospital indicated the mummification had been made not following a

ancient Egyptian custom. For example, the heart had been removed along with the rest of the internal organs, whereas the heart of a genuine Egyptian mummy would normally be left inside the body. Furthermore, tendons that should have decayed over these centuries were still intact. Here we go. Ibrahim published her report on April 17, 2001. In it, she stated that the Persian princess was in fact a woman, about 21 to 25 years of age, who had died in around 1996, possibly murdered with the Persian princess was in fact a woman, about 21 to 25 years of age, who had died in around 1996, possibly murdered with the the blunt instrument to the lower back or pelvic region, e.g. hit by a vehicle from behind. Her teeth had been removed after death and her hip joint, pelvis and backbone had been damaged before the body had been filled with powder. Police began to investigate a possible murder and arrested a number of suspects in Balukistan.

But to date, I don't think anyone has gone down for the murder. That's a hell of a way to cover up a murder by trying to sell the corpse. Yeah, you would have thought you're bringing so much attention to yourself. It's such a strange story. The whole thing is just like, okay, what is this just the story of like a forged mummy? This is, you know, I guess it's moderately interesting, but like what is this? And then just the twist at the end is like, yeah, it's not a 2,000-year-old mummy. It was a woman who was murdered in 1996 and then dressed up like a Persian princess in a stone coffin

and sold for $11 million. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. So strange. Wait, so did he actually sell it for $11 million? Yeah. Oh, actually, I don't know if it had been put up for sale for $11 million. I don't know if it doesn't say whether the sale actually went through.

So yeah, maybe it didn't, I guess maybe they just took control of it and put it in the museum before then. Oh, man. Killed a woman, going to dress her up as a mummy, sell her on, bam. Free, Scott Free. Fucking hell. Wow. In 2008, the remains were given proper burial rights.

They were interred with proper burial rights But I don't think the crime has been solved Or if they even know for sure That like it was a case of murder But yeah It's a strange Strange thing How weird

I believe someone actually sent that to me on Twitter But it was ages ago So I'm very sorry to say I can't give proper citation To whoever suggested that But thank you Mr. E Sender For that Lives on

Thank you Mr E Sender So I want to be mummified When I get eventually murdered, can you both do that to me, please? Fill you with powder. Sure. Can we get it written consent beforehand, though, please? Yeah, well, what I'll do is I'll always carry around a little handwritten note in my breast pocket.

That just says, I consent to being mummified by Ben and Peter. Okay. And put my signature at the end. That'll stand up in court. Yeah, that sounds fine. We've got the audio clip. We'll just play that in court when we're getting arrested. Beautiful. Thank you.

Good. We've got one final question. This is from Werewolf. question mark at Lisa Westley who says are there any talents that you wish you had or were better at I wish I had any kind of musical ability that's one thing because I've always like being kind of enchanted by you know musicians and stuff it's like being able to I know music is totally mystifying to me and how people can conjure it about nothing and I really wish I had that kind of ability I'm sure it's the kind of thing where if I learn I could do it

but right now, the mechanics of my brain don't seem to fit with music. I can barely keep a rhythm. I can't remember lyrics, like, for the life of me. I think I'm just destined to be a soundless boy for the rest of life. I'd love to be just musical in any way, but my fingers don't even work that good, so I can't play the keyboard. Yeah, I really wish, and I can't be bothered to put the years of practice into it, but I really wish I could just play the piano really well,

and just, you know, even like people who can just improv stuff and, like, play chords that happen to sound good together, even though they're just making it up as they go. Like, that always just really impresses me. I wish I could do that. But, you know, you've got to put time in, and I'm a lazy boy. Yeah, fuck it. He wants to do that.

Not this guy. What about you, Ben? I'd like to be handy. I'd like to be handy. Yeah. I want to be able to make things and build things and repair things. And my dad's very handy. You know, he knows his way around his car.

He can repair things and put, you know, fix things and build things and so on. And I've just never really had the inclination to do that because he's always been there. Very fortunate as well that I've got another friend who's like a painter-decorator by trade who just is really good at that stuff. And I pride myself on my little toolbox that I've got. I think everyone should have a toolbox with like a hammer and a sword. legendary toolbox i missed that loads of uh full of like screws and odd bits and you know odds and ends from various things that i've collected over the years so i can on a very basic level sort stuff out but i'm talking like i'd love to be able to woodwork you know like i never have the patience to properly

measure stuff up and uh it's a real skill that much like music i just can't be asked or you know have the resources really because i you know you don't have a piano peter no and i don't I don't have a workshop, so I don't really know where I'm even meant to get good at that stuff. But if I could just be good at that, I would really like to be. Yeah, because there's stuff like that's like, I made something. I've got a thing in my house that I made with my bare damn hands. I'm going to put my coffee on it. Oh, yeah, this feels good.

Yeah. That's the dream. Well, maybe we'll all... With all of this, it's literally just a case of kind of sitting down and taking the time to do it, but... Yeah. Nah. Nah, come on. God, I'd love to do this. I'd really love nothing more, but what are you going to do?

Nothing, I suppose. Yeah. He's got their time. Was that our final question, Peter? It was. That was it, yeah. Fantastic. Well, thank you so much. Everybody for listening, for asking questions, for supporting us financially. You can, of course, keep up with what we're doing all over the place. We'll run through that now. store.orgscast.com if you'd like to find some viduets slash potty, it's merch. Isn't that right, Mikey? That's your goddamn right.

Store. Dot yogscast.com That's it. Yeah, that's the whole URL. I couldn't remember if there was any more to it. Yeah, we have new merch coming out soon, but because of the current situation, all of the samples are kind of held up in customs at the minute.

So save your money If you're hankering for a new shirt Or maybe a new mug I recommend waiting until we say Go buy We are in charge You buy when we say it They're very good

Mike you worked very hard Yeah I'm very happy with the designs And I'm very excited to see them in person But hopefully within the next month They'll be out But as you know It's a bit wobbly at the minute So just go and refresh

Store dot yorkscast.com every day until you see us pop up. Absolutely. And oh, and when that does happen, you just code vidiates at checkout for 10% off everything on the store. Everything. Everything. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook,

all.com forward slash Vidiates official. If you'd like to keep up with what's going on on the channel and the podcast and so on and so forth. Also, Twitch.tv.tv. We're streaming there semi-regularly. At the time of release of this episode

It's my birthday tomorrow So I am vaguely planning on streaming I think I'm going to And if you're listening to this on the day of release I hope to see you there, maybe Check social media I will say if I'm doing it or not Streamlabs.com forward slash poddiots donations

If you donate three pounds or more You can join Pod Squad And get a shout out at the beginning And the end of the next podcast It helps immensely. We are enormously grateful for all of you who choose to support us that way. And, you know, it really helps us keep going. And we want to thank you a lot.

And we're going to run through this week's Pod Squad once again. Bertie Bassett's Black Balls. Katie Kin Solo. Duke Moe Lester. Mother's silky nightgown. El Baker 97. Just have a took. Vaucane's weptwap's Felgunth.

Awesome Fox 42. DeFo's daddy, daddo, do dick. Close enough. DBP stole your slogan. Oh, we didn't talk about that, but yeah, Dave Benson Phillips tweeted a thing. It was a show he's putting on, like a live stream concert. And he tweeted the line up with the caption, Tell Your Friends. Tell your friends.

You bastard, Dave. We can't leave you out of it. This is it. You've made it personal. Stephen Scodes, Emily Lemons, ass face. Jump into Mikey's fart hole. Part boy, part car, boy car. Also, Andrew thinks Ben is hot, 69420.

Kitty Hawk. Ami Desanche. Stetson. Trunter's 15 quid blobber job. Lord Brotovich. Tall glass of Diet Bopsy. Royal Farticide. Peter fucks Mikey's mom.

School Fight Club champion. Mini Moto Lives Matter. The Vidiots will die, year 269. Ben Nonse, I think. Wait, how do I say this? Thank you for your very generous donation again. America's shitty gun fetish. And Samuel, last working week, Barber.

Also, thank you for a very generous donation. Thank you so much. Discs of Ground Up Cow. Happy 13th birthday, Marshall. Peters, Cede Babs, Lord Vrota bitch. Thunder Dick Deluxe, Chief Keguins, Jakeid Nungle, Dorsal Finn Tristum. Thank you very much for the generous donation.

Alan Claw, Aaron Courtney, DBPs Everybody's Salsa Hit List, Bufa, Woofers, Flufers, thank you for the very generous donation, Ringo Star Goldfinger MP3, and Cyber Slum. Thank you all so much. That's your Pod Squad for this week.

Streamlabs.com forward slash poddius donations if you'd like to donate and join the Bood Squad. Mikey, where can people find you on the internet? They can find me at Parrot Boy on the Twitters, where I post lovely things. Like, I always forget this bit at the end. Let's see what I've been up to. Oh, I posted a video from my streamy other night

where I discovered pigeon shit on the inside of my back door, which was good fun. If you want to watch more streamy goodness, Twitch.tvish as Vidits official, as Ben said, we stream semi-regularly. Beautiful. Peter, what about us? Ben and I are still going strong over at Team Triple Jump on YouTube and Twitch.

on YouTube we're still although we're a bit dry as things go in terms of supply we ordinarily put out shows that you'll remember from videos. Rules bosses over there, we're cooking, we're doing worst games ever,

we're doing lists and things and prove it and all that sort of stuff so it's fun, go check it out. Absolutely. Finally, please leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice. It helps something to do with Al Gore's Rhythms. Do we have a final question to see us off this week?

What are you getting from the ice cream van? Yeah. Are you getting Monkey's Blood? Please say you've heard Monkey's Blood before. Don't make me feel alone. What was it? What was the phrase? I'm going to have to find it again now.

Monkey's Blood. Let's have a look. What was the verb? Like, bop a bunch of monkey's blood on my cone, please. Yeah, bust it on, bust it all up on my thing. Here we go. E.R.

Bust us some monkey's blood on my 99, please. E.R. E.R. E. A, eh, is what it says here. So I'm assuming it's E.R. Get the gibin, give it a good squeeze. I need some monkey's blood.

Yes. Thank you so much for listening, everybody. We'll be back in a couple of weeks' time. Look after yourselves. Bye, everybody. Bye, bye. Bye. Goodbye.

Bye-bye. Thank you.