Podiots - Podiots: Episode 56 - Triggly Ceride

Episode Date: June 30, 2020

Mikey's drinking man juices, Ben's brought some bold claims from everyone's favourite dictatorship & Peter has one question, Mask or Musk? Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Go! Oh my God, my voice broke on that one. Go! Go on. give us the coolest go you've got mike go oh oh forget about it i don't follow go at that yeah go give us your best go oh yeah he's nailed it really good was that good was that cool yeah i like that one yeah okay give us a big cool go right go on ben give us a big cool go okay you ready yeah yeah yeah

I can't. Oh, that's all right. It happens to all men sometimes. Yeah, can't. Maybe you just tire less of me, will you? Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's been a long week. Yeah, you know.

It's all right. It's always next time. You can just... Yeah, can we do it next time? Yeah. We'll take that little blue gore pill. It'll be all right. Yeah.

I am going to tell all of your friends there that you couldn't... No, please don't meme it. Yeah. Hello everybody and welcome to Pottie. It's the official. Boom. Boom. Vidiates.

Podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three where everybody brings everything along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. Oh, fucking else. Everybody having fun.

We are. Yeah. You're right, Peter. You sound frightened and confused. I'm all right. Yeah. I'm kind of afraid of myself. I don't know what I'm going to do next.

Oh, God. Someone restrain this lad. Oh, Jesus. Sorry, I've just glanced down at the Pod Squad list that we're about to read. And one of those, well, I'm sure many of those names are horrible, but one of them, halfway through Mikey's, that's. 20-pound one is quite the name. Oh, God.

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't read that. I'm sure it's fine. You can censor it if you like. Oh, no, I'm reading that. You know, they paid their money. I'm reading that. Full whack, because that's what it deserves.

You read it in the cool voice, please, as well. Oh, I don't think people want that, but I'll do it. Yeah, good. I mean, that person wants it for sure. Oh, yeah. Peter, have you been doing with the storm? The storm? Oh, it happened.

and I survived. Yeah, I'm still here. Yeah. Did you guys have a storm? It was a bit thundery and lightning-y. In fact, the other day, Ben and I did a double stream, where I stream for two hours, and then we immediately hopped over to Ben's stream on Triple Jump.

And during my stream, there was a lot of thunder rumbling in the background, which was kind of nice and chill. So I guess it was at least a temporary topic of conversation in Benstream when we handed over. At what point, because for a lot of people, rain is quite comforting and relaxing. At what point does it become not comforting? Is it the second thunder is introduced or can thunder be comforting as well? I mean, I guess if you're a dog, it's a bit terrifying, but we're not dogs.

Well, we talked about this. Like, a lot of people really like thunder and they like storms, like I do. And, you know, you have, like, distant thunder for those, like, Study beats or like, not conversational, concentration YouTube videos, but it's just 10 hours of like rainstorms and stuff with thunder. And I was saying, it's funny that like a lot of people, once they're grown adults, really like thunderstorms. But when you're a kid, as a general rule, they're really scary.

Like, I hated storms when I was really young. And a lot of people in the chat were saying the same thing, that they used to be really scared of thunder. Oh, I think I've always been a bit of fan of it. I mean, it's annoying when it's on, like, it's on, in the daytime, you want to be out doing stuff. And I think storms are definitely more of an evening thing for me. If I could dictate the weather, I'd have storms on every evening, every day.

Every evening. Every evening. Just flip a switch and there it is. I don't remember hearing any thunder and lightning here or even rain, but who knows, because I've had every fan on all the time. Well, the really weird thing. The really weird thing was that there was this big sort of the main clap of thunder for this stream. There was only like one really big one. And I was like, oh, did you guys hear that one on the microphone?

Did you hear that? And a guy in the chat messaged and said, oh, it's stormy where I am too. I just heard a big thunder clap in Huddersfield. And I was like, oh, it's probably the same thunder that one. You're only like a few miles away from me. So that was kind of weird, like knowing that there was someone in the chat who just heard the same weather effect that I did in real life. Nice. Everyone's connected in Yorkshire.

Yeah. Everyone, that's it. They're all connected. Mikey, you're moving, right? Yeah, I'm doing a big old move of house, which is fun. Because we've been in one bed for like a year and a half now. And when I transitioned to working from home, it means I'm plunked in the living room. And it means Claudia gets no privacy. I get no privacy.

And whenever I'm doing silly internet gamer boy stuff like streaming or podditing, she has to put with me screaming and shrieking. So we found a really nice little. two-bed house it was a really good price and then some other people bid his higher on it and took it to a slightly less good price

and I were paying more for it but fuck it so you're actually buying you're not renting oh no we're not buying fuck buying in Bristol is something I could always only do when I'm 100 years old and I've worked 20 hour days every day of that

Jesus Christ but yeah we're renting it's going to be nice I got big old fast internet now so I'm very excited about I can upload pictures of ferrets to the internet in incredible speed.

It's just, yeah, it's that weird stressful period of like, okay, we've got to put everything in our boxes and what makes our move extra fun is the ferrets. The ones that we are holding illegally in the house because our tenancy agreement explicitly

states no pets. That's not even just, you know, per our landlord's request. That's actually the rules of the building, the builders instructed and no pets to be allowed in the building at all. So essentially we've got a little bit of a dance going on at the minute where we've got the landlords coming to visit one day, people are coming to view the house one day, another day.

And so we've got to move the ferrets out of the house, transport them to a friend's house where they'll stay on a little holiday for a couple of days. We've got to remove all evidence of ferrets in the flat. So that means there's going to be blankets, toys, pictures of ferrets. They're medals and awards. It's just like, fuck. Yeah, we're just like going to shove it all in the cupboard, throw some things over it. So hopefully when they look in the cupboard, they don't see the little, little, oh, fluff your retreat, first place, best rescue plaque.

It's only two weeks of that to come and then we get to hide the ferrets all over again from a new landlord who we don't know how often they'll visit or how cool they are. So it's illegal there too. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Well, the house moving into did have a cat in it. We saw that on the video of the guy walking around the house and has a cat flap. So the ferrets can have easy access in and outside of the house. That's what we want. Yeah, they're just tube cats, aren't they? Ferrets. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. They'll just roam the streets of Bristol, just demolished the natural wildlife and come back and poop all over our floors. Excellent. They have no natural predators. They'll just go and just ruin the local ecology. Would you? It'd be amazing.

Yeah, I can't wait. Bristol, watch out. The ferrets are coming. I mean, I imagine the fox is probably a natural predator of the ferret, and there are a lot of foxes in Bristol for sure. They'll have a good fight, I think. They'll just tape some little switchblades onto the ferret's backs, so they just have to charge into whatever enemy's in the way, and that's it. You're only ferrets. I'd watch that. You should live stream it.

Oh, fuck yeah. And yeah, I'll attach a knife and a GoPro to it, and then just see what happens. excellent well before we move on to some questions and some things we need to shout out the amazing members of this week's pod squad if you would like to join pod squad for three pounds then you can do by going to streamlabs dot com forward slash poddiots donations with an s on the end remember if you donate you're incredible and you're part of pod squad if you don't donate that's still fine please just tell your friends about us and help us grow but supporting us financial really does go a very long way. And so your pod squad for this week includes Michael Johnson. Goey Bug Spittoon. Buttery Biscuit Bates,

who was very generous and says, not an employee of the Oggscast, but I am a long-term follower of the redundant dis. Thanks for continuing to brighten the morning, commutes with poddiettes, and keep on being hilarious and wonderful boys. Tom. Not Tom Bates.

Not Tom Bates. It's just a, well, Tom Bates, but not that Tom Bates. Peter loves Overwatch porn. Saint Croc of shit. Rob Smith, all one word. And, ah, this is the fun one. They were very generous, so we have to read it out.

Ah, oh, sorry, I'll do the, I'll do the voice. And Whittickham's juicy ring. Oh. I got some funny looks walking around Wicks in the new Legends t-shirt this past week, guys. I think they're still angry about you taking their name and talking their name. in talking their name in vain back in episode four. P.S. Never stop podditing. Pretty please. Arse face. Montana's bot bot. 2020 has been anus. Lightning McQueen. Smoky McPot. Serene is still a birch bitch and running out of Willem jokes.

Oh, no. Okay. We've also got Axles Alive, 95, who was very just. generous, and said, after I sent TP those streams, I'll give you context for that in a minute. I realized I got more enjoyment from watching your content versus things like Netflix. So I'm going to try and start donating to the things I enjoy. Pod Squad, triple jump Patreon and triple jump Amazon Prime sub, once I figure out how the heck it works. I think Google can help you there if you just Google Twitch Prime. This is the guy who very helpfully sent a couple of vods that had been lost to the ether in the transition period. I'm assuming it is going off that message.

But, yeah, thank you very much. We continue. Play Dreamweaver by Crowbar. My many, many, many, many cheeses. Cheese. Knee deep in bum piss. Dry and Potterfield, Buy it, Bland. Nice.

Krangis McSpanglewank. Lord Brotovich. Kevin from Con. Michael's butthole, help. Fluffy McRough. Steven Scouts. Trunter's Twizzle Thick. Stucalicious.

Arthur from Natural 9 Emily Lemmonds and Alan Clor But that's still not all Though Shitless shitless greased up ass Oh what God May a thousand blossoms bloom

Brooke loves rice Vinkred Cremble Poypes 13 The 13th maybe Epileptic Fridge Boy Goblin Fence Truther Prince Beefcakes

Podocrasum manifest, Prince Beefcakes, Edward Jizzahans, Fendi Trist Miller, what, what, what, Dave Bentham Finger Lips, Kitty Hawk, and Darius Canning, who was very generous and said, hey, boys, viduets was a great help to keep smiling through sleepless nights in 2018 when our baby Sam came along. And now that baby number two is nearly here, I just want to say, I'll look forward to all that triple jump slash podiot slash Mikey Adventures have to bring. Oh. Thank you, Darius. Thank you, everyone.

Yeah, for joining Pod Squad this week. No, not. And that's the other thing that I do. We'll talk about that at the end. That's just slip at the tongue there. Streamlabs.com forward slash podiot's donations if you'd like to join. Thank you so much. And thank you very much, Ben.

Would you boys like a question? Love one. Well, we're going to get over this one quick because this same question comes through. Every time you put a call out for Podiat's questions, and it ruins my day. Okay. So Tommy the Wank Engine at Trigilyceride Tea wants to know. I've asked this question twice now. Sorry, Mikey.

Say the username again. Trigley seride tea. I think it's triglyceride. Oh my God. Triggily seride tea. That's a strange name, isn't it? It was Triggily seride. Oh, no, he's gone.

I don't know, even know how you spotted that, Ben. I'm aware of the word triglyceride, but... I just thought that's so strange. It's got to be something else, surely. Well, I've got the word in front of me, and you deciphered it far better than I. What the fuck? Triggily seri-trile-sor-I-D.

Sorry, I'll calm down. Your cage is, breathe. Breathe. Tommy wants to know. I've asked this question twice now. And third time is the charm, you cowards, answer me. Would you still masturbate if every time you did so, the sperm escaped and hid somewhere around the room

until the middle of the night, where it would then become extremely large and beat you up? No. No! Well, probably not. No, what does that mean for actual intercourse? Oh, God. The connotations are frightening. Well, he said masturbate.

I think that's different. Okay. Yeah, it did sperm knows when you've been punishing yourself. and it comes back to punish you later on. What a bizarre and upsetting situation this is. That's probably why we never picked the question because it's a very straightforward answer. If it had just been, if it had just been,

you know, a bit like there's something about Mary where you masturbate and then you don't know where the sperm has landed in the room and then you have to spend the next sort of, you know, 15 to 15 minutes to an hour finding it and cleaning it up. You know, I'd be open, you know, maybe the occasional treat, but, you know, Saturday is treat day.

Yeah. I'm not going to be beaten up by my hidden giant sperm. Thank you very much. Exactly. It's like on a similar level of having dominoes, right? You need to set aside a recovery day afterwards, where your whole deal is just surviving the consequences of your actions. Yeah. I mean, if like, if at the end it was like, oh, and before the sperm leaves,

it drops a 20 quid note on the floor, then that adds some positive to it. But no, I don't want to imagine. Yeah, it's a shit sandwich. Yeah, God, it's just a jizz sandwich. It's just, oh. I mean, in this situation, do the sperm have legs and arms, I imagine? Oh, is it just kind of headbutting you or tail whipping you?

I don't like that either. That makes it worse. If they were just sort of human-shaped, you know, just sperm, but with arms and legs, I think that would be more palatable. Yeah, than just like a, a, giant eel kind of thing or an enormous tad put just sort of blopping its way through the room towards you with no face for some reason my mental image of a sperm with arms and leg was more um

do you know that meme of um how you do you're winning son i imagine i imagine the sperm would have like a little hat had a pipe or mustache so it'd be like a dad sperm i kind of imagine him as the amendment to be from the simpsons but just sperm shaped you know with a tapen bit at the top or bottom. Let's settle this once and for all. I've opened an incognito tab. How many sperm in one ejaculate? Oh, a lot.

A lot. Millions. Oh, I don't know. How about a hundred million sperm trying to beat you up? Yeah, that's fine. You want to know how tough dick my chinko is? Does it every day, willingly. Because it keeps, it trains him to fight off that many sperm men.

Oh, God. Oh, thank you, boys. Would you like another slightly more pallet-cleansy question, or do you want to carry on into a ting? I could do another question. Yeah, I'll go for a question. I say this as a pallet cleanse. It's really not.

I'm sorry, boys. Okay, good. A provocative fart at Doug Deep 20 wants to know. Sneezing, farting and burping become one. Would you rather all three come out of your nose, mouth, or ass? Sneezing, farting and burping? You don't want to sneeze out your ass. That was my initial thing.

I was like, sneezing out the ass just sounds horrible. But you surely don't want to fart out of any facial orifice. But I feel like farting out the mouth would be better than farting out the nose. Yeah. And what? That's weird, though, because you don't, I suppose sneezing is where it comes out of the nose, doesn't it? But most of it comes out your mouth. I very, very rarely follow through with a sneeze.

And I don't mean shit to myself. I mean, I usually just stop a sneeze, which people at primary school used to say, oh, you know, that takes 10 seconds off your life, which, you know. Wow, real. That's science. The science did that. Yeah. But, yeah, I very rarely do a proper sneeze.

And, you know, so I think I could, you know, get away with maybe sort of once a month, just slightly shitting myself if it meant that I didn't have to fart out of my mouth. So when you say you holding a sneeze, is that way you kind of like cover your, your nose a bit and just kind of yeah well I just sort of go but I don't go chew there's no chew

is what I'm saying but I think if you did that through your ass that might eject it even more powerfully well what I'm saying is nothing ever comes out occasionally occasionally it does I do a proper sneeze

but yeah usually I can sort of hold it so that there's no expulsion of anything mouth or nose yeah so if I was able to do that if I was able to clench then I would probably go with everything out of the arse I mean I guess

I could just wear shreddies or something something absorbent I don't want to ruin my shreddies with my sneeze farts yeah it just have to be adult naffies won't it yeah I just really don't want to fart out of my nose or mouth I think I don't want that either I'm going to be the brave one I'm going to say I want to do all throughout my mouth because it just feels like I feel like I could become a powerful weapon

if I could fart on my mouth. Yeah, well, you're the fartiest of the three, so you could really, yeah. Actually, no, damage. Hold on, there's a business proposition here. If I can fart out my mouth, it makes it far easier to fart into a jar and store it, and then I can do with that what I will.

I can be selling it or use it as chemical weapons. Yeah. There's literally no downsides to farting out your mouth. I suspect if you came up with a fake persona on the internet, as a woman, a sort of game a girl kind of thing, you could definitely sell your gamer girl fart water. Michelle Delphine. Yeah, exactly.

By farting into a jar out of your mouth and people would buy, they'd pay good money for farts in jars if you were a gamer girl, I'm sure. Yeah, I think mouth farts are, well, not only is mouth fart probably the new Neil Cisoriga album. You would also, you would also practically invent an entire

sub-genre of pornography just through that action alone. That's a whole new fetish that people probably didn't even realise they had. And for some people, you'll be the whole thing. You'll have a monopoly on that industry. You'll be back on that website again, Mike. He's that farm website.

Michael Johnson conquered the arse fart game and now is here to revolutionise it, mouth farts. And everyone will be trying to replicate it on the fetish porn sites. but because you're the only person in the world who can do it, they'll just be doing really crude edits where it's someone being filmed with their mouth open

and then cartoon fart sound effects being played. Yeah. And yours will always be the premium quality mouth fart porn. Oh, this is what I've dreamed of. Everyone having all their information stolen on TikTok will be sort of reenacting it with the original audio undelayed. Yeah. And I could, you know, with the money I make from my mouth farts,

I could change the world, I could pay for hospital. I would personally pay to give all the IHS staff a pay-rise with my mouth fart. That's it. And they'd make like a statue of you in a hospital with your mouth open and maybe like a cartoon cloud coming out. And it'll say Michael Johnson, philarthropist. Mouth fartthropist. Oh, beautiful. Well, there we go.

Thank you very much, boys. And would anybody like to do the thing first? I'm happy to do mine. Sure. Go for it. We've got a triple one. Fuck. I'm so sorry.

Oh, is it about farts, Michael? That's a surprise, isn't it? No, no, it's about sperm. Oh, okay. So I came across this the other day. I came across the headline a little while ago. I was like, oh, that also a sperm reference, though. Oh, gone on him.

I saw this article a couple of weeks ago, and I was like, oh, that's gross and weird. And then I came back across. the article the other day. I was like, oh, this is even wierder than I thought. So I present to you, mum drinks sperm smoothies to fight off coronavirus. I saw this. I nearly, I nearly did this. Oh, really? You nearly drank sperm smoothies to fight off coronavirus. Yeah, well, I mean, whatever it takes, Peter, okay? I don't want to be

penalized, penis-lised, for taking my health seriously. Yeah. If there's like maybe a way we can get the light inside the body, that would maybe... Can we do that? Can we look at doing that, maybe? Can we look at doing that? Yeah. Fuck off, Trump. You prick. Okay.

So this is, I don't know, there's dips, there's dives, there's turns, the sperm, it's got everything all in one. A mother of two believes that drinking smoothies

with a shot of sperm have helped to boost her immune system and is helping prevent coronavirus. Tracy Kiss, who's 32 years old, says she's not had a cold or flu for three years because of her concoction,

which is made using donations from her boy. boyfriend, and she takes three shots a week. Can I immediately stop you right there? Please do. I've not lost a leg in 28 years, and this weird thing, I always wear socks when I go outside. So if you wear socks when you go outside, your leg's not going to come off. I'm just telling you now.

Even with sandals and crocs? Oh, yeah, always. Definitely wear socks with sandals. That's the only reason why you've still got your leg. I don't, and I haven't. Famously, one of my legs is false. Oh, well, there you go. You will be fast again, Ben.

You will be. I'm already there. So three shots of sperm, did you say? Yeah, because I'm... Well, we'll talk more about... Three come shots. Ah, nice. We'll talk more about the specifics later.

We'll set the scene, I think, first. Okay. Tracy, a personal trainer from Aylesbury, said, I found a free and vegan-friendly alternative method to boost your body's immune system. You don't always know what is in pharmaceutical medicine. It is much better for the body to drink something that doesn't contain chemicals. Which, can we just, everything's made of chemicals. Chemicals. No, Mikey, it doesn't contain

chemicals. Don't be ridiculous. Oh, no, there's nothing. It's, oh, I think, I think, I think, I, judging from the, uh, chemicals. Oh, nice. I googled a bit, and I think she's kind of like, what, she's one of the bad vegan. She's one of those ones that's like, like, like, super extreme. and weird and just gives everyone a bad name. Technically, is it, I don't know if it is vegan, because it is an animal product. But it's, with consent, though, presumably. Yeah. So that's, that's the, that's the, hopefully.

Hopefully, God. Oh, God. Time for the milking, Derek. Yeah, I was going to say, there is milking involved, isn't it? Oh, God. Okay, I forgot about this next line. It isn't much different to a mother breastfeeding her newborn to give them the nutrients they need.

It's not, no chemicals in that. just the same. It's exactly the same. Drinking your partner's semen is exactly the same as a mother breastfeeding. Jesus Christ. It isn't for everyone, but it's packed full of vitamins and I haven't had a cold of flu ever since drinking it in 2017. I also put it on my face to clear up my skin. Oh, how does she get it on her face? Does she, I think what happened here was Derek said to his wife, you know, drinking semen and having it all over your face is really good for you. And she misinterpreted that as, okay, can you start doing it into a jar, please? And he was really disappointed, but didn't have the heart to tell her. Well, on the pictures on here, she's got

an ice cube tray filled with white deposits. And just in case anyone was wondering, the remedy has not been verified by the World Health Organization. What? No way. And the NHS and UK government advised people stay at home to avoid getting the virus. Right. And come in each other's mouth. Yeah. So obviously, there's not, there's specifics to this. And Tracy says, it's best to consume semen as close to production as possible to get the most nutrients and benefits.

But I often store it in the freezer in an ice cube tray as my partner who does not wish to be named and I are in a long distance relationship. What? This was the turning point. So he comes round temporarily for a week or whatever, or a day and fills up an ice cube tray so that she's got enough provisions until next time. Okay, yours makes much more sense than my idea. I thought he was sending jizz in the Royal Mail.

I thought he was just going up to a window and he just had some real power on him. Yeah. They've got like, what the fuck was that? It's just, it's taken down three planes. Oh, God, I'm so sorry everyone for listening to this. This is a really, really good one. The quantity depends on how hydrated my boyfriend is on the day.

I sometimes have a shot or disguise the taste in a smoothie with fresh berries and banana. I'm strictly looking at this from a health perspective. I think a lot of people try new ways to boost their immune system when they start presenting systems. That's too late. You must make immune system strong prior to an illness to ensure you can fight it off. Let me just skim through the article because I don't really want to listen to Tracy talk all that much. She adds The smoothies aren't any different

To drinking honey and lemon water When you have a sore throat Yes, exactly, it's fine When we asked a scientist about it They said fuck off Why are you wasting my time with this? It's just another natural remedy But completely free

You don't have to have a partner You can just ask a male friend Who is healthy Go on ask Go on us I've got a 50s worth of gist Oh I didn't even want to finish that I can smell it

One pound 50 for the jazz. Most people heard you the best at not getting the flu and that. Pop your knob further closer. Are you comfortable there like? Oh dear. What a versatile meme. What it is, really is. God bless Michael Jogson.

Yeah. The article ends. Most people think I am joking because it seems too good to be true that I am being so open about a taboo subject, but I am not. I'm going against society's quote-unquote norm to educate and help other people who are missing out on nutrients. I want to make a difference, which is why I am sharing this home remedy. Okay.

You made a difference to our Saturday mornings. Fucking mental. Thanks for that. What's your name again? Tracy kiss. Fuck off. Well done, Tracy. Aylesbury's not too far from where I grew up.

Oh, really? Oh. Well, you might have seen the little jazz going shooting up over the air as a child. I might have seen it. Yeah. You see that, Ben, that's a shooting star. The rocket jizz. You could put an order in.

I bet you're within range, for sure. Possibly, yeah. Order coming in at 32 degrees. Oh, God. Yeah, that's that. I'm sorry for putting that on you. Wow. Thank you, Mike.

I actually know, how did the news hear about this? Presumably she's been... Instagram. Yeah, she's been very social about it. And, oh, let's see. Tracy Kiss, Instagram. Because she definitely seems like that kind of, not to be a mean, but she definitely just seems like the kind of person

who just sprays at all of the internet, her jizzy eating habits. Oh, geez, yeah, well, I hope not. Okay, no, it's like her Instagram's quite normal. It's just, you know, what she's been eating, and I can't see any jizz. Yeah, it's just, oh, wait, no, there's a smoothie. Wheatabix, how do you eat yours? Well, you don't want to know.

With jizz on. What's that then? Jiz. What's that, then? It's just a lorry that just says jiz. They should have pulled it out. Well, thank you very much, boys, for that. No, thank you, Michael.

Thank you. Yeah. Would you like a question? Yes, please. We got Sina at hashtag Margaret Monday, Margaret. At hey, it's Sina on Twitter. The Vidyots are now shorerunners for Doctor Who. From the Vidyat's pantheon, who do you cast as the next doctor, and who do you cast as their companion?

Who would you most like to say, just? just rip through that time warpool with the blue box. That's Doctor Who, isn't it? Yeah, can we take Dick Machinko out of the running? Because he's always the answer for all of these. He would be a very... Can we just sort of entertain it for a minute? Sure.

Because how entertaining would that show be? But he would... That asshole still twitching. Check the parties. Dick, no! It'd go back to World War II and just defeat the commies, those commie bastards. Yeah.

Yeah, it would be like the Barbara Piss versus Dick Machenko question from last episode. But if Barbara was Dick's companion and they just killed everyone everywhere they went. Yeah, yeah. I'm actually going to pull up a Worst Games Ever video on Vidiots, just so I can see the full list of friends sat on that table. Because there's definitely ones we forget about. I think... Yeah, well, there's all those friends.

and then there's like subsequent pottyets friends who we didn't have in physical form. Meat face. I really need, I think it's getting to the point now where a conscientious member of the community really needs to just come up with some kind of public document, some kind of Google Doc that lists every recurring character, you know, including Meatface, Bobby Babylonie,

all the Walrus clan from the desk. Yeah. From the next days. I reckon, I mean, I have, far, far less experience with Doctor Who than Peter does. And so correct me

if I'm wrong here, Peter. But the Doctor Who's that I've enjoyed watching have been the ones where the companion is somewhat a form of comic relief. And so, as far as a companion

goes, I would like to pitch Brian Butterfield as the companion to this doctor, whoever it is that we decide. Oh my God. Yes. There is,

is he called Brian? I think there's a current, what's Bradley Walsh's character called? I think he's called Brian. He's the current companion, and he's like a much older companion to what they've had since the relaunch of Doctor Who. I'm sure he's called Brian. It's been a while since I've watched it. Although maybe it's because the other guy's called Ryan, so he's probably not. I'll look it up. Okay. I think, I mean, my own love for Jeff is strong,

but I would love to see a little magical mongoose flying around time and causing mischief in various time periods. Yeah. Yeah. What was the Bittly Ray Walrus pirate one called? Because there's a little figure here with swords and he looks badass.

Oh, on the disc. Yeah. The R.R. Walrus. I think that was it. I think he'd be a good companion. He could battle off anything that happens rather than, you know, using the brains to defeat enemies.

Just machete them to pieces. He's called Graham. There was a character called Brian actually in the first series who was in it for one episode I think but yeah he's called Graham Bradley Walsh's character Oh cute

Bradley Bolsh was in Doctor Who Sounds like he is in Doctor Who Wait what? He is, he's currently in it Wait what? Bradley Walsh As in The Chase Famous for the Chase

Yeah He's been a companion for two series Really? How the hell have I just totally missed this? Oh God, I just couldn't picture him acting because I just, we've got into a habit watching the chase in the flat now, and it's just every episode is, and the contestants will take on the chase. Let's see who wins. There's no enthusiasm. I didn't think he could act, but wow. Oh yeah, he used to be in like Coronation Street and I think he did it. I think he might have

even done a cop show once where he played detective. Oh, sick. So yeah, he's an actor. Wow, I need to watch that now. I want to see, I want to see him take on Doctor Who? Yeah. So we need a doctor. We need a doctor. We do. A lead.

What would be a good lead? What qualities should the doctor have? They need to be a little bit quirky and weird and sort of alien-y. But they also need to be very clever. They need to know everything about everything. I'm going to say it. I think we need to call Dave Benson Phillips. oh my god yeah yeah yeah it's got to be it's got to be god that would be such a good Doctor Who

Dave I think he'd be brilliant why Xo suit has been hit he already knows his lines yeah oh he delivers them perfectly wow I keep thinking everyone's called Brian and Doctor Who the guy in the first series wasn't called Brian he was called Clive but there was a guy called Brian who was like someone's dad but yeah anyway I'm picturing Dave, Dave's a good shout I'm picturing him in like the early Doctor Who

with the long scarf like an outfit like that a bit more eccentric and quirky yeah although hear me out what about at Dave on Twitter

Ooh Irish Dave he could be a good doctor What time is it in Canada and let's call him Dave wake up Time in Toronto Oh it's 8 a.m.

Saturday he should be up That's it'll be awake Get up Get up Dave Get out, Dave, it's time. Talk to us. Do you want to be the new Doctor Who's? Stop fucking calling me.

Because some of the doctors of old have had like a little food stuff. Like the, so it's fish fingers and custard. There was like jelly babies as well. There was a whole jelly baby thing. So he could like hand out tucks everywhere he went around the galaxy. Getting people drinks and tea? Yeah. A real diplomat.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Is it Dave or Dave? They can be only one. We could put them together. Yeah. It's how that's how they're mixing up the next series is the doctor gets split into two people

and it's Dave and Dave the doctors Double D's Double D's Excellent Yeah, the double D era I like that Okay, well BBC if you're watching Make it happen, please

Yeah Amazing I've got a thing Oh Ben I'd love to hear your thing Oh, thing me This is in the wake of The weird news I did last episode There was a story about North Korea

And you've got me thinking about North Korea. So without including the one that Peter correctly pointed out as being totally real, which is that they claim to have once landed on the sun. And they went at nighttime. And they went at nighttime. So they wouldn't get burned. Oh, God. Here are five of North Korea's boldest claims.

Yes. So these are just a few. And there may be bolder ones out there. In fact, I'm certain there are that I've not included so much. The superpower-related ones. I literally, I thought, there's got to be loads of listicles about this kind of stuff anyway. I search North Korea claims, and then I just clicked some of the auto-fills and chose five of them. Right, nice.

Google gave me these. Here we go. Number one, North Korea claims to have invented hangover-free alcohol. Whoa. This is from FoodRepublic.com from January of 2016. I thought it was important to cite sources and dates. so people knew just when we got this from. According to the government's propaganda machine,

scientists at Tai Dongyang Food Stuff Factory have tweaked the recipe for a long-standing ginseng-based liquor called Corio using boiled and scorched glutinous rice instead of sugar, which purportedly eliminates the awful morning-after effect of a big boozy night out. Not only is the altered hooch not as bad for you as your typical tipple, it's downright good for you, offering essential amino acids and

vitamins, or so the official story goes. You shouldn't drink anything that contains chemicals, guys. I'm just putting it out there. Jiz, though. Yeah, there's no chemicals in that. I don't imagine North Koreans going out on a big boozy night out, to be honest. No, I think that's a sort of insensitive write-up from Food Republic, to be honest. Yeah.

Well, I'm sure there's about 10 people in the country who are allowed to drink. Yeah, there'll be a few. Yeah, there's a hangar-free. Exactly. Number two, North Korea claims Kim Jong-un can control the weather. Okay. I believe that. Of course he can.

Why wouldn't he be able to? This is from the Independent December 2017. And some of this description that I'm about to read, there are some striking similarities to the kind of stuff that the Trump administration puts out. So just do listen and hear the cross-exam. sober that exists. The dictator's new superpower was reported after Mr. Kim was photographed in fine, clear weather at the top of a 9,000-foot active volcano near North Korea's border with China. Pictures show Mr. Kim walking around at the snow-covered summit in Mount Pai-tooth, I think,

wearing a smart black coat and formal dress shoes. News agency KCNA claimed the dictator had completed the two-mile trek to the top, apparently in this outfit, and said that the good weather was due to Mr. Kim's presence. The news agency said conditions in December were usually inhospitable. But when Mr. Kim arrived, it was a marvellous scene with glee at the reappearance at its great master.

The organisation added the mountain showed fine weather, unprecedented. KCNA then paid homage to Mr. Kim describing him as the man who controls the nature, is what it says. I control the nature. Okay, I like that, because I originally thought that

meant like it's a weather machine but no literally just he his body oh the the rain sees that and say oh we better get out of here guys give him the sun he's walking on sunshine everywhere he goes it's just you know the clouds move away just beams of light shining down on him at all times i really wonder what he thinks about all these things i get written about him i mean they're all completely true let's that's not let's not spread any of this but like he he goes to a mountain it's like sunny and then next day he sees in an article kim kim makes it It's sunny. He's like, oh, yeah, I did that, didn't I?

Thanks, yeah. Yeah. They just took one look at that sexy figure in his black coat and formal dress shoes and thought, wow, we've got to give this guy the son. And his crippling heart condition that nearly killed him. He's alive and he's held in fine health. He's in fine house. Number three, North Korea claims to have won the World Cup and Olympic Gold.

This is from the mirror in October 2017. The last one was from the Independent in December 2017. I'm not sure if I mentioned that. There are numerous, outrageous North Korean propaganda artworks that show the country triumphing in everything from football and athletics to drafts. The paintings, which were predominantly produced in the 2000s, capture the nation's alleged sporting achievements. In the images, the North Korean football team can be seen crying tears of joy as they win the World Cup,

while another picture shows the fictitious moment, DPRK athlete Yong Song Oakh, I think, defeated her Western opponents at the 2000 Olympic Games to win gold. The 43-year-old athlete did in fact win gold for North Korea at the 1999 World Athletics Championship in Savi, but it was reported that Kim Jong-il personally banned her from competing at the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney or any other athletic competitions in fear of national embarrassment if she lost the next race. A final painting shows an unimpressed North Korean girl effortlessly challenge a middle-aged American. man to a drafts match.

Which for our American listeners is checkers, which is, that's ridiculous. That's, I want, that's, if you're going to make a painting to immortalise anything, you want it to be a match of drafts. Wow. North Korea is the best country. North Korea, let me just get that photo

for you. It can go on the dump. North Korea claims to have won the World Cup. There it is. Here it is from the mirror, and I'm going to copy and paste it now for you these photos are quite something uh here you go guys i am pasting it this is happening and it's uploading and it's there if someone can put that on the link dump there she is unimpressed that is amazing oh she is so unimpressed she is so unimpressed she is how unimpressed she is

how old is she everyone's really enjoying the match as well it's intense we need so many angles of this someone's holding a microphone for some reason you see that what's that for Oh, the guy in back right, he's, he can't take it anymore. That's a very weird looking game of drafts as well. It is. You're supposed to only be on the diagonals, aren't you? Otherwise, you can't hop over each other. I don't know if that's some different version of the game or, I don't know.

Not that I'm questioning at all the accuracy is. No, of course. They wouldn't want to get it wrong, would they? You should get in touch. Yeah. Correct here. Number four, North Korea claims zero coronavirus. cases NPR from February 2020. As China's neighbours battle the spread of the coronavirus, one nation is in particular arousing international concern, North Korea. While the country publicly insists

it is completely free of the virus and a World Health Organization official has said there are no indications so far of COVID-19 infection there, experts question how long that may be the case. Not one novel, is that novel or novel, I'm not entirely sure, not one novel coronavirus patient has emerged North Korea's flagship Rodong Sinmun newspaper recently quoted Song Imbom, an official with an emergency health committee as saying. Song credited the country's prompt response and establishment of a quarantine system for the lack of cases. South Korea's Unification Ministry, which is in charge of inter-Korean relations, said Monday that Pyongyang had reported to the World Health Organization that it had tested 141

suspected cases of coronavirus and all came up negative. but South Korean media relying on anonymous sources have reported cases of COVID-19 in North Korea, some of them fatal. Ooh. That's probably the most believable one because it is inherently such an isolated country that not many people are going in out.

Yeah, I don't know how coronavirus would get in there. There's no one exactly off on the holidays to North Korea, but I'm sure there's a lot of dirty, dirty behind-the-scenes business going on because I know North Korea have logging camps in like Siberia where people get shipped off to work. So there's going to be some thing there. Yeah. There'll be some way.

But, you know, they're a dictatorship. They wouldn't want to, you know, under report their cases like a lot of American states have been doing. Oh, oh, dear. Why would they do that? Finally, I've saved the best until last for you. Number five, North Korea. claims to have discovered a unicorn lair.

Yes. Oh my God. This is from The Guardian in November 2012. The inimitable Korean Central News Agency, KCNA, has now broken the incredible news that archaeologists in Pyongyang have discovered a unicorn's lair, or rather the report says that they have recently reconfirmed the layer of one of the unicorns ridden by the ancient Korean king, Tong Miang, founder of a kingdom which ruled parts of China and the Korean peninsula.

from the 3rd century BC to 7th century AD. The KCNA goes on to state that the location happens to be 200 metres from a temple in the North Korean capital, adding a rectangular rock carved with the words unicorn lair stands in front of the lair. The carved words... The carved words are believed to date back to the period of Corio Kingdom, 918 to 13. 92, says the report. Archaeologists from the Academy of Social Sciences

at North Korea's History Institute were credited with making the discovery. Well done, that's great. Well, hopefully we find some more unicorn layers across the world. Yeah, it's sad that there haven't been any more. It's shocking, really. What are the odds that the only one in the world happens to be found in North Korea,

a country that, you know, some people question the validity of their news. Not us. Not us. It's unfortunate, really, because no one's going to believe that, even though it's definitely true. Do you want to ask? North Korea is such a magical holy land. Obviously the unicorns come from there.

True, true. And they're like back in the olden days, the unicorns just flew off to different countries where they were barbarically murdered, but they thrived in North Korea for many years because it's the best place on earth. It is, truly. So there you go.

Some amazing true North Korea facts for you. Yes. Oh, thank you very much, Ben. Welcome. Thank you, Ben. Would you like a little question? Yeah, right. They got a lovely little one from Carrie Wagner at 05 Griffin on Twitter.

And she wants to know. Being editors slash voiceover artists slash podcasters, was the first time you appeared on camera, nerve-wracking or easy? I'm sure everyone, I mean, we've all had different experiences with the first time we went on camera. But I think, what was it like the first time you went on camera to, let's say, a big audience? So presumably for everyone here, that's what culture, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, for me, I wasn't too nervous really with stuff that's just being filmed that's non-live because I just know, well, I'm going to make sure I get it right and I'll edit it. I knew I was going to be editing my own work as well, so that didn't bother me too much.

I do remember the first time I went live, though, when we were at Yog's cast, I think I was a little bit nervous there. I think I was mostly really excited and it was kind of nervous. but I was like really looking forward to it and like anticipating you know what we're about to do but there was definitely an element of like oh you know I'm going to be I'm going to be live now and I've got a everyone's going to hate me yeah yeah definitely I I have such a vivid memory from what called you this isn't being in front of the camera I'm also behind the camera it was the first time like I'd been editing there for a couple of months like all I'd done was sit at my desk and edit one day I think Ben or Peter well one of you two

you came over to my desk oh, can you help us shoot something? And my brain just went, oh, God! I can't remember what the video was, but we just went in the room and my hands was visibly shaking

for some reason. Oh, bud. Oh, Mikey. I think it was just like, oh, God, like, the vast media is something that's not editing. Shit, don't,

don't fuck this up. I was like, uh, you fucking up by being so nervous. Oh, no. Do you remember what it was? It was like, I think it was some little skit for a list.

It was like some kind of like office, I think remember the words you said to me were like, oh, it's an office style thing, but my memory is so hazy. I can't remember beyond that. It was filmed in the nice toenail field room. Oh, yes. Lovely.

What a place. What a lovely place. I think, yeah, beyond that, like, I think I was on a few live streams at what culture. That was fine. It was kind of like, okay, don't say anything stupid. You'll be fine. Oh, yeah, I forgot about those.

Yeah, they didn't bother me either because it was, yeah, it was all just kind of a group. And we weren't presenting as much as just, playing games and people were watching us play the games like we there wasn't so much onus on any one person to kind of lead I guess yeah so yeah that was okay but you bent um yeah in terms of presenting the first thing I did at what culture was on my I think it was like a like a weeks trial but I was only there for a few days and it happened to be going on during their first set of tapings for WCPW, their wrestling promotion.

So it was sort of all hands on deck kind of deal. And all the regular wrestling presenters were quite busy anyway, because I think Ross was off watching the Euros in Europe. So he wasn't there. So Jack was subbing in for WTF moments. And Jack also did ups and downs for Roar and Smackdown. And I was just there to, you know, record some voiceover and edit some. stuff just as part of my trial week and help out with the wrestling promotion a little bit.

But I was asked by our boss to do Jack's show. Oh, good. So I had to do ups and downs, having never really present. I've been on camera before, but I'd never presented anything, certainly not on such a stage on my own before. And so it took a minute to get warmed up and Jack was fantastic because he was around and he was actually there to like introduce me to the audience, you know, Like he was on camera with me at the start saying,

hey, go, you'll be fine, right, I'm off, see you later. And I was able to play up to the whole deer in the headlights kind of thing, which was nice. But outside, and I didn't get murdered, which was also cool. That was nice. After that point, I don't think I regularly checked comments anymore, not because there was anything nasty in there, thankfully. But it's just, it's a lot of stress looking in comments, so fuck that. But I think the scariest thing I've done professionally, certainly,

where I felt really uncomfortable and so out of my depth was when Peter and I did BAFTA. Yeah, I was thinking that. And I went well. It did, honestly, it really did go well. I know we often take the piss out of it, but we did really good.

I remember watching that and thinking, yeah, I could believe these guys know what they're talking about. We held our own. We held our own, but it was fucking frightening. That was professional. That was so professional.

And we were so unaccustomed to that. Yeah. There was a whole crew, there was a crew of, I don't know, three or four people on the floor. And then there was a director as well who was, I think, off in some other room. With a load of other people as well, doing sound. Yeah, with like far more people.

Yeah, that was very, you know, there was like a couple of, there was like a multi-cam set up there. Everyone was obviously miced up and stuff. And yeah, we were also sitting alongside very much like known faces in the industry. Whereas we, despite the fact that we've been at what culture, which already had hundreds of thousands of subscribers at the time. We weren't really known faces. We'd come there as the Yogs cast

and they were probably really disappointed when we walked through the door. They're not saying their best. They're sending their worst. Yeah. But so yeah, a feeling like that we had to kind of live up to these other people who were seemingly better informed than us as well. That was part of the pressure.

Although incidentally, and maybe I shouldn't drop these people in it as I'm about to like pretty much all of us before we went live on that had to kind of get familiar with some of the games that were that had been nominated you know we we had this like session of about an hour or two in some green room where we chatted about so what's this game did anyone actually play this what was this about uh you know just for one or two things so I think pretty much everyone there didn't know didn't know at all which was a good thing to see when we got there. I think it would be ridiculous to assume anyone would like have played at half experience for every game. Definitely. I don't think that was expected either. I think our main problem was

that we'd never done anything like this before and these people obviously had that we were with. They're all consummate professionals and we were professionals too. It's just that we hadn't done this before and it seemed everyone around us expected us to know how this was all done and we hadn't like this was a, we were told the day before that we were going to go and do this picked up at 6am or whatever ungodly hour it was and taken to London to BAFTA to do it and it was all very much a trial by fire

it could have gone a lot worse we did pretty damn well I'm very glad we did it but fuck me it was frightening and I guess certainly me and you Ben have always had I mean at that point I think Mikey you'd even started being on camera at video side you

It was like month two or something wasn't it that we were yeah because I remember I think I got I was like everyone got approached is like, hey, guys, you want to do this? And I instantly was like, no fucking way, no, fuck off. Like, I barely gotten used to being on camera, like, in a proper context, let alone to be, you know, a professional game, man with game opinions.

Yeah, not that, not that. But, like, Ben and I, you know, we'd already been doing worse games ever at what culture. So we'd done stuff on camera a lot already at that point. But we've always had this, like, crutch or this fallback where if ever anything goes wrong, we sort of go, well, it's okay, because it's what you guys expect from us, or it's what you guys want. think there's truth to that i think people do really fortunately for us people do really like it when we just yeah massively mess things up or like talk over each other or really draw attention

to like the mistakes that we make but you can't do that on a live bafter stream where you're talking about nominations so mike you can't get up on a chair and fart into the microphone that doesn't exactly yeah we didn't have those those trump cards literally so yeah that was also you know we have to actually just sit now for an hour or half an hour have a however long it all was and just actually present professionally and not really flub or mess up or say a slightly controversial thing. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, by the sandser, it was a good experience, but like, I would love to do something like that, but just not in, not, not BAFTA.

We've done BAFTA. Take that one off now. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah. BBC next. Let's go. Yeah. Nice.

All right. Thank you very much, boys. Thank you. Peter. Would you like to present to your thing, a link? Yeah, absolutely. I've invented a game for YouTube to play. I have got some quotes here from two different people who are, and it might be difficult for you to distinguish, who said what, okay? Oh, okay.

So it's time starring a famous Jim Carrey character and a well-known face of modern pop culture and memery. it's time to play Musk or Mask Oh wow Okay Do you want a theme song Sure do it now Impro

Go on Michael It's your I've decided you've got to do it It's time to play Mask or Musk Everybody Go to bed at dusk Perfect

Perfect So I've got six quotes here Some of them might be From Elon Musk Some of them might be from Jim Carries The Mask It might be all or nothing.

And what I'm going to do is read them in sort of a... I mean, I can't do an impression of Jim Carrey's The Mask, but I'm going to read them in the voice of an overblown comic character, even though some of them may be Elon Musk. Because I think that will just kind of really help Fox You. I'm terrified that there's enough quotes that kind of have crossover to build a whole game around. What the fuck?

Well, it wasn't easy. I must admit, I came up... Give it with the name first and then desperately had to find. Yeah, okay. So, as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best, see? Oh, my God, that's so Jim Carrey. Like, I'll always be around, see. But I could imagine Musk saying that.

I'm going to go Musk on this one. I think I'm going to go Musk as well. That was Mask. Oh! Yeah. I don't have the context, the exact context for the mask quotes, if there are many more. But I've got some for the Musk ones, so I can tell you more later. Number two, I could be a superhero.

I could fight crime, protect the innocent, work for world peace. I like to believe Musk would think that. Because, like, I think he kind of sees himself as a Tony Stark figure. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So he's got that, that fucking money way. He probably could become a superhero if he really wanted to. I think I'm going to go Musk again.

I'm going to go Mask on this one. This one is the mask. Oh, damn it. So I think that is from the moment that, what's he called, Ipkis, realizes that he can become the mask. So he says, oh, I could be a superhero, but instead he goes and, like, robs a bank or something. I think Nice

Okay, number three I'm actually wondering about putting a roller coaster in Oh sorry It's putting in a roller coaster I'm actually wondering about putting in a roller coaster It's got to be Musk

hasn't it? Yeah On why Tesla's office needs a roller coaster Fuck yeah God damn it Everybody around here has slides in their lobbies

I'm actually wondering about putting in a roller coaster Like a functional roller coaster at the factory in Vermont You'd get in and it would take you around the factory, but also up and down. Who else has a roller coaster? It would probably be really expensive, but I like the idea of it.

He's right. That is a good idea. I'm just picturing something like Metroland. Yeah. I'm so sad I never got to experience Metroland. Can you please do a thing at some point all about Metroland and what it was? Yeah, that'd be fair. And I want to research it because I only went once and it was great.

It was this weird, campy, 90s, very British theme park inside a shopping center. it's exactly what you'd expect and it was... Sounds great. Amazing. Yeah. Quote number four. Vacation will kill you. Oh, that's got to be Musk.

I'm going to say Mask. That is Elon Musk. Oh, the monster. But it sounds a bit like a quote that Jim Carrey did as the rid the ridler, was it? Yeah. Where I think he hit someone over the head with a coffee pot and went caffeine, I'll kill you. Oh, sneaky. Yeah. Musks, this is on the time he almost died from malaria while on holiday.

That's my lesson for taking a vacation. Vacation will kill you. Yeah. Well, that's... It was taking time away from work that killed you. Not... Not the... Oh, Jesus Christ, shut up. Not the mosquito. Why can you just go to Centre Parks, Musk? Go on. Re-open Metroland. Have a holiday there. Yeah. Why don't you put more money into Metroland, huh?

Actually, the shopping centre is potentially going into administration, so come on, Musk. Use your money for good. Save the northeast. Quote number five is some commentary on fashion. It's a power tie. It's supposed to make you feel powerful. I could picture Jim Carrey saying that, so I'm going to go mask. I don't think I've ever seen Elon Musk wear a tie, so I am also going to go mask.

You're both correct. Yes, that is the mask. Yeah. Nice. And we've got one left now. I thought he would maybe hit one going ad, but not both. I'm going to take a punt and say that's Elon Musk. Right.

Just for fun, yeah, let's go Musk. Correct. What? Yay! On how he held balloons in his hand and between his legs at one of his birthday parties and let a knife-thrower pop the balloons. Oh, no. What? What? I'd seen him before, but did worry that maybe he could have an off day.

Still, I thought he would maybe hit one gonad, but not both. Oh, God. Jesus. There we go. That was the inaugural episode of the Musco or Mass. There will not be another. It takes six hours to find the quotes. I've exhausted all, but I mean, maybe I'll do some more other comparisons. Harrisons. While I was looking for this, Amy was Googling a similar idea and found that there's

one for Boris Johnson or Homer Simpson, who said it. Oh, that's amazing. There's also a really good one for Trump and Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development. Right. A lot of the quotes are indistinguishable. They're very good. Yeah. Amazing. Perfect. Well, thank you very much, Peter. Thank you. Thank you. And in a weird way of everything lining up, we've got one last question, and it's a musky one. Oh. We got Shana at Strange Penny 12 on Twitter. We know that one.

We know. We know that one, and she wants to know. Elon Musk has asked you to found the new Mars colony in classic vidiates style. How is this beacon for the future of humanity going to operate? What laws will you enforce for the survival of the Horace clan? I'm thinking of this. We'll approach it like I've just looked down my floor and there's a ferret chitting right next to me. Thanks.

Oh, okay. Cool. No ferrets? How does that sound on Mars? Absolutely not. Let's have no ferrets. Okay. I'm picturing this as Vidyat's prove it in audio form. Right. Right. So what I think the most important thing is the aesthetic of the place. Like functionality be gone. You want it to look beautiful. Well, I mean, for starters, Mars is known as the red planet. I think we need to do something about that straight away. and paint the entire planet, Vidi, it's yellow.

Yeah, because red is quite an intimidating color. It's an angry color. Yeah, it's not calming. Yellow is the color of McDonald's. Everyone likes McDonald's. That's true. In fact, can we get the whole place sponsored by McDonald's? Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, why not? Chips, chip dispensers around. That's how everyone gets fed. Single. Can we chisel away at the entire planet so that it's a giant yellow M golden arches in the sky. Oh, that would be good.

Yeah. Or there's still room to live on it. What we could do is on one side of the planet, we could just shave the curvature off on an unprecedented scale, so it's pretty flat on one side. And then on that, carve in a giant meat face. So half of it remains red, so it's sort of an appropriate color, and then we can paint the rest of it yellow,

and we can have the best of both worlds. love it and when you visit that side of the moon it's just pink void playing all the time the dark side of the moon is meat face yeah I think transport's another one I think

I think actually what we'll do is with Mikey's booming fart mouth business I'm more than happy to donate myself for the greater good and create a renewable energy source in my mouth mouth mouth mouth so everyone methane mouth there we go

so yeah like well it I mean, Musk's got the money. He can figure it out. But every vehicle on the planet has like a little mouth hole. They bring the vehicle to me and I just fart into it a few times. And off the go, it provides enough energy to keep them whizzing around for a good few days. Perfect. Perfect.

That sounds amazing. We would have daily, daily sort of broadcasts on giant screens of past episodes of memory cards. But that's it. Just memory cards. Oh yeah There's about 20 episodes of that Yeah it wouldn't get boring There's loads of them

No they would loop of course The same one would loop each day So that it's not even relevant to the day You know it's not even an actual on this day episode It's just some random episode of memory cards playing Yeah perfect And there'd be a really sad 10 gun salute At the end of each day in memory of memory cards

Oh Rip I think space tourism is a big one and I think this whole mission is going to be quite expensive and obviously not everyone's going to be able to go to live there permanently. So we need to have some kind of space hotel, Vigit's Hotel,

where, you know, people can come, enjoy breathing the atmosphere but not, you know, be committed to staying in a long time. And I think Michael Jugsson could be the waiter of the hotel. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Actually, you know, maybe he worked more as a patron. I don't know, no. I don't know.

I want Michael Juggs to be a part of this somewhere. I'm trying to figure out where his talents lie best. His talents... He is... I mean, he's got cuisine expertise, and he could maybe do very fast table service on his pedal bike. Aha, there we go. Bam, perfect.

Fucking did. Yeah. But, yeah, accommodation, though. How would we do that for people who want to come and stay? Well, no, we'd have a turtle beach. Oh. That's necessary. We need that.

Yeah. Yeah, just a beach with turtles on Yeah, turtles love that Accommodation I would just like little Transparent bubbles Just loads of them Bobby Bubboloonie

We'll hire her That's perfect That's it And I think that's the perfect Mars getaway You've got Bobby Babon Michael Juxon It's a hemisphere

with the flat side has meat face on it and the rest of it is yellow Michael Jugsson provides all the food Bobby Babyloni provides all the accommodation where you just live

inside a transparent balloon and what? Is that it? That's the whole thing. Don't forget there's MacDonald's sponsorship and ships everywhere and there's cars as well

there's cars, yeah Tesla's fueled by farts Yeah? I don't know I don't know what you're insinuating here I think that's a perfect perfectly functioning community it is yeah

it could not be improved in any way so there we go and we could have another fast food related planet sort of next door in space like space next door so that if we ever had to close down the McDonald's

anyone who was about to arrive could say I've had to go to Burger King absolutely there we go or if we just sack off Mars entirely and go to a planet with rings you could call it Burger Ring

Burger Ring I had to go to Burger Ring Okay, that's it. That's it. We've got a backup plan now. Yeah, we'll move Mars next to Sass. Yeah, can we just drag them closer together and then that'll be fine? I'm sure it'll have no long-term repercussions whatsoever. No, it would be fine.

Great. Absolutely right. Wow. Worth it for a pun. Amazing. Thank you so much. Someone draw that. Someone draw that, what?

Burger Ring. Just the whole planet. Just draw a whole planet. Guys, get on it, please. We need it by Monday. Thank you. Vidyit's compendium. Actually, you know, draw every Vidyat's character on the new Vidyat's planet.

Homework. There you go. However, if you didn't want to do homework and instead get out of it and support us financially instead, you definitely could do by joining Pod Squad and going to Streamlabs.com forward slash Poddiet's donations and donating £3 or more to get a shout out at the beginning. And at the end of the show, we're going to run through this week's Pod Squad again now. Here we go. Oh God

Goohy bug spittoon Nice Buttery biscuit baits Thank you again for your generous generous donation Peter loves Overwatch porn Saint Croc of shit Rob Smith all one word

Anne Whitticum's juicy ring Anne Whittickum's juicy burger ring Hey ass face Montana's bot bot 2020 has been anus Lightning McQueen is still a birch bitch And running out of Willem Jokes

Also, Axel's Alive, 95, thank you for the very generous donation Play Dreamweaver by Crowbar My many, many, many, many cheeses Knee deep in bumpus Dry and Potterfield biot blood Crangis McSpanglewank Lord Rotovitch, Kevin from Con Michael's butthole help

Fluffy but Groff, Stephen Scodes, Trunter's Twizzle Thinks, Stucalicious, Arthur from Natural Nine, Emily Lemmins, and Alan Clore. Schittler's greased up arse. May a thousand possums bloom? Brooke loves rice, vink red Cremble Poy, the 13th, Epileptic Fridge Boy, Goblin Fence Truther, Prince Beefcakes, Podocracuse Manifest, Prince Beefcakes, Edward Gizzahans, Findy Trist Miller, What? What? What? Dave Ben Thumb Finger Lips. Dave Bentham Finger Lips. Lips Biscuit. I don't know. Kitty Hawk. And finally, Darius Canning. Thank you for the generous donation. Do you want to just stop causing trouble out there and making all the police do their nino's please? God's sake. Thank you everyone. Police urge people to stop calling. It's not an emergency. I've had to go. I've had to go to Burger King. Thank you so much all of Pod Squad for this week. Remember that is streamlabs.com forward slash potty at donations. £3 or more to get a shout out. Thank you again.

Hey, did you know that you can find some merchandise over at store.orgast. Store.orgascast.com. That's the one, isn't it, Michael? I got it right. That's the bingo bangle, boy. That's right. We've got some new merch. And even better, if you're in the America land and you're a bit put off by high shipping prices, you can go to the American Yogscast store.

It's all on there now so you can get your wavy garms shipped to Colorado. That's the only place for shipping to. Can we get like, can we buy them at cost price or something as members of the network? Because I want one and I don't have them. Oh, God, yeah. Sorry, I will ask on Monday about getting her own. I think we're allowed to get a few free ones because, you know, we're big boy creator boys. That's huge.

We bring a lot of money for the Yogs car. Oh, my God, the money is immense. And if you want to add to that pit of money, that, wow, there's so much money in it, you too can support us by buying some merch at store.orgscast.com. And even better on both the UK and US store, if you use called Vidiots at checkout, it will get you 10% off absolutely bloody everything on the store. Whoa. That's not limited to just our stuff, so you can treat yourself to some nice Yogs coffee if you want to.

Lovely. That'd be nice. so you can drink it out your Pottieets mug. There you go. Definitely can and spill it on your Pottie its shirt. Ah, there we go. And you have to buy another shirt. What a shame.

Amazing. That's stored at Yorkscarst.com. If you want to go check that out. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash Vidiates official. If you want to find us there, we also stream occasionally, Twitch.tv.tv.

It's official as well. I'm actually streaming this weekend at the time of release. now that social distancing and visiting households is being relaxed I'm actually going to see a human friend of mine how exciting my friend Ben is coming to visit and we're going to do a stream so do come along I think on Saturday if you'd like to see that that's Twitter TV4 slash video is official and we do stream from time to time so do come watch thank you thank you very much

finally Mikey where can people find you oh well if you if you go over to that there tweeter you could find me at Parrot Boy and if you go over there now you'll find a picture of Boris Johnson holding some Tim Tams Brilliant

That's nice Love Tim Tams Actually yeah I had them years ago Oh we got them sent in Didn't we? Oh shit Big rain boys

Big rain Heavy rain The storm's here Jason It finally arrived God it's flat Oh god And with me moving house

And getting better internet Now I can I'll have a more regular streaming schedule So it won't just be kind of sporadic And whenever I'll try and set up

You know, like a day or two a week where I do a strem. Amazing. I need to go close a window. Peter, where can people find us? I'll be back. Okay, you can find Ben at his window. He's sending some ice cubes right now to Tracy Lips or whatever her name was. Tracy Kiss?

Kiss. Yeah, lips, kiss, whatever. Stanley Lip Kiss. It's all coming full circle. But you can find Ben and I together at Team Triple Jump all over the internet. That's YouTube, that's Twitch, that's Twitter, where we're still putting out some of the shows you know and love from the video today is

Prove it, cooking, rules boss, slash whatever we called it back then, piece of cake. And so on. Worst games ever, of course. So come and check out some irreverent content, but also some slightly more serious video game stuff like our video games podcast. You might just learn something and be entertained at the same time.

Yeah. It's possible. Oh, bloody hell. Well, that's everything. Thank you so much, everybody. Please make sure you leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice helps something to do with algorithms or algor's rhythms, whichever you prefer, really.

Do we have a final question for the show? The rain is just getting louder. It's just getting louder out there. Are there chemicals in jizz? Just yes or no? Yes. Just reply yes or no, please. Yeah. Thanks everybody.

Wonderful. Thanks so much for listening. We'll be back in a couple of weeks' time. Look after yourselves and stay safe, everybody. Bye-bye. book lovers. The Toronto International Festival of Authors brings you a world of stories all in one place. Discover five days of readings, talks, workshops and more, with over 100 authors from around the world, including Rachel Maddow, Ketourou Isaku and Kieran Desai. The Toronto International Festival of Authors, October 29th to November 2nd. Details and tickets at festivalofauthors.ca.