Podiots - Podiots: Episode 59 - Ghost Skeleton

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

Mikey explores dog fighting with a twist, Peter gives us all a drugs test and Ben has discovered a spooky, scary patent to send shivers down your spine.   Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and j...oin the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/   New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots   Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord   Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Pickax. Bank more on course when you switch to a Scotia Bank Bank banking package. Learn more at ScotiaBank.com slash banking packages. Conditions apply. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. Hi, this is Jen Hatmaker, and I can't wait for you to listen to the audiobook edition of my memoir, Awake, read by yours truly. It's a brutally honest and revealing look at the end of my 26-year-long marriage
Starting point is 00:00:38 and the beginning of a different kind of love story. Awake is available now on Spotify or wherever audiobooks are sold. gaming chair from natural concepts fuck the rest it's the best if your chair's got you feeling depressed take a little look and you'll be feeling impressed don't need a degree in economics to see this is next level ergonomics silky smooth soft to the touch you can tell that this chair fucks maximum comfort premium upholstery solid construction say goodbye to back pain black blue Red or green, you can pick the colour of your dreams, treat yourself, you know you're worth it, maximise your time on earth.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Want to learn more? Well, here's the way. Go to overclockersco.com. Forward slash poddy us. Sit in comfort, you know you want to. Thank you very much, as always, to Overclocers UK and Nightro Concepts for supporting the show. If you'd like to learn more about their wonderful selection of chairs, you can head over to overclockers.com.uker.ukuk
Starting point is 00:02:00 forward slash potiates. And now on with the podcast. Let me just clear my throat. There we go. Oh, Jesus. Blimey. That was a big in. Did anything just come out of your throat,
Starting point is 00:02:14 some sort of species or what was in there? Oh, it was like a little tiny kind of shrimp, was it that got pooed out, peed out of Ben's animals last episode? Oh, God, yeah. Ultra cod? No. The ultra cod.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Something cod. Micro-Haddock. Yeah, something like that. What the hell was it called? A mega place. I'll find it. I'll find it. That's what I've just coughed out onto my window.
Starting point is 00:02:38 It went out the other way. Normally they're going through the mouth out of the bum. Today decided to take the B-road. Did it enter up your bomb? Oh, yeah. Without my permission as well, may I say. Just kind of quite sneakily. Snook its way.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Okay, I don't know where it's going to be honest. Just padding for time. And that's okay because it's ostracod. Yeah. There we go. Ostra? How are you, as in A-U-S-T? O-O-S-T.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Oh, that's a shame. Yeah, I just birthed a little ostracod. Isn't he beautiful? He's like a little bean with little legs. So it was a suppository of some kind? An ostra-pository. Oh, brilliant. I like it.
Starting point is 00:03:25 A suppostracod. A suppostricod, yeah. The world of the ostracod There's an animal we never encountered before But now I'm kind of fascinated with them It'll be the next The next sort of Not product placement
Starting point is 00:03:35 The next deal we do Where Ben gets in touch With the manufacturers Of the ostracospository Whatever it was it Ostrapository Yeah Yeah
Starting point is 00:03:46 Yeah You're going to have to keep Popping those up your butt For 48 hours or whatever And see what happens I feel like a new man Which forums will you You'll go on this time.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Oh, I don't want to know. The ostracod forums are weird places, and then you get into the fetish ostracod forums. Oh, my goodness. Forget about it. Sexy Geordie Man sticks an ostracod. You could probably fit about 50 of them there in one go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Even more bang for your buck. God. For your butt. Yeah. Can we roll the intro, please? Can we stop this? Sure. Hello everybody and welcome to Poddy.
Starting point is 00:04:34 It's the official. Official. Bidiotz. Podcast. Podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three ours, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben.
Starting point is 00:04:51 I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. How are we doing guys? excuse me I fucking did did you oh we can swear on this yeah got it yeah we can
Starting point is 00:05:09 yeah extra 50s worth Austrocod Austrocod and ships An extra 50s worth of worth of new flatmate right? Oh yeah so today we welcomed
Starting point is 00:05:22 we embraced a fifth member to the Ferret gang I guess is what we're calling it now. Little Django, he's eight years old and through no fault of his own he's had to be rehomed because of a nasty landlord said to the owner,
Starting point is 00:05:36 it's either you go or Django goes. Django has a fortunate gone. Does that, hang on, that sort of ultimatum makes it sound like either they go and Django stays. You can keep a ferret in this house, but not with humans.
Starting point is 00:05:56 As long as the ferret can pick up the rent payments, it's fine. My hands are tied. It's Django's name on the lease. Yeah, he's a little old man. He's eight years old. He's currently sleeping in the corner after being bullied by the ferrets this afternoon. If you hear any shrieks in the background,
Starting point is 00:06:14 don't worry, it's just ferrets showing dominance, I think. Yeah. Okay, yeah. We'll go with that. That's fine. God, I feel sorry for Claudia, because as well as shrieking ferrets, she's also just got the occasional
Starting point is 00:06:28 to deal with. She won't know what's happening. Could be anyone shrieking of the six of you. Oh, it is a hell. Well, then she comes in, smell, smells. Yeah, there's little poo on the floor. Sorry, Chloe. Who did that?
Starting point is 00:06:43 You know what it's like? I'm in the other pottyets. I can't exactly get up, can I? Yeah. No. You need to get yourself a little pottyets. Brilliant. Yes, nice.
Starting point is 00:06:52 but how would you buy such a thing Michael with with the lovely lovely money that our donators have been kind of to grace us with their funding are ferret care and pottyets excellent link there guys I'm really you're professionals yes yes thanks we're really impressed by that let's let's catch the ball and hey if you wanted to join pod squad
Starting point is 00:07:18 the elite listening force you would just have to donate three pounds or more. Do you know that? What a deal? Just three squiddles. You don't have to, of course. The fact you're listening means the world to us. However, if you would like to join Pod Squad
Starting point is 00:07:32 and get a shout out at the beginning, and the end of the show, you can do so by going to Streamlabs.com forward slash Podiot's donations with an S on the end. And if you go there, give us a little donation, you get a cheeky shout out. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:46 And we've got an amazing new Pod Squad for this week. Yeah. And Mikey's going to kick us off. start with the incredible Finn Tristum and the very generous cunning linguist, thank you, who says, love all your work, guys, and we love you, Mr. Cun. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Mr. Cuck.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Mr. Cun. That's not, sorry. Oh, that's not right. Sorry. Anyway, Lord Brotovitch, Tommy the Wank Engine, I never went to Poo Voo Yava. Am I missing something? I never went to Puvuvu Yava. Is that right?
Starting point is 00:08:17 Poo V Java. Java. I don't know. I feel like we are missing. something, but I don't know what we're missing. Well, it's got the word poo in it, so I love it. Thank you, Poovoo. We got Dobri Wecher, Pani Podiotov, says, very generous again, and he says, or they say,
Starting point is 00:08:33 hello, new Podiotic should drop just in time for the 1,000 mile return journey. Jesus Christ, hurrah. I wrote the name phonetically for you, bye. Thank you very much, Dobri, Vecker. Pani Podiottov. Bam, look at that. Awesome. rolls off the tongue.
Starting point is 00:08:52 Stephen Scodes, specky becky and sexy, uncuttuous little mudbath. Oh, goodness me. It continues. Unctuous little mud bath.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Not uncutuous. Not uncuttuous. That's a different thing entirely. Trigly sir-eyed. Trigley, yes, exactly. The list continues with Call me Alex,
Starting point is 00:09:14 with no E in Alex, who was very generous and said, I was the one who kidnapped meat face. Oh, Alex. Also, The Jinkle, What Looked at TP, Kevin from Con. What a wonderful Willem Willie.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Axles Alive, 95. Long, crunchy carrot. El Brottovich loves Louis J. Weber. Freddy Weber's wallows come. Got to be careful with that one. Freddy Weber's wallows come. Big Titty, lining McQueen, without a tea. Flacid Wilson
Starting point is 00:09:52 Donna C. 07 Please love me I'm so alone and Puba Eats At Porage Boy on Twitter My Monsilla Porridge Porriots
Starting point is 00:10:05 Yes Cal Jogo though Hang on Cal Jogo The Hobo with a phono Oh nice The CG Just have a tuck
Starting point is 00:10:15 Shreddy Murphy Uncle Chuckle fucker Quief Sweat Mercenary Prostitute extra 50s worth of monica Superberto Ami Dosange BF Forum's gas provider
Starting point is 00:10:27 Drowning Bandicoot fetish There we go Brilliant What a squad Oh but wait Hang on There's still more
Starting point is 00:10:37 Because some of you naughty boys and girls And others are still using the old forward slash Vidiots official link Luckily we've caught it this time But we don't usually do it So please make sure you're donating
Starting point is 00:10:48 To Podiat's donations We start with the very generous No Sam Divad, who says, I've been a huge fan of you guys from the name redundant days, and I love your content here on Vidyat's and at New Ventures. Just wanted to finally put something forward to the things I love. Although Vidyates has changed, I still love the podcast. Thank you very much, Noah Sam. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:11:08 There's also Trunter's Turkey Twizzlers and someone's flipping daughter. It's a very rude word that. It's the worst word ever. Go on, Peter. coward. Oh, you want me to... All right, then. You can do it.
Starting point is 00:11:22 Yeah, go on. Could you see what your daughter's done? Your cunting daughter? For those who don't know, it's a reference to... It's a line from, what was it, The Exorcist? Yes, something. I think so. Ah, of course.
Starting point is 00:11:34 And also, very big thank you to... Who was generous and said, been listening in your various guises for years, but not being able to donate so far as been saving for a deposit for my first home. I am now in and wanted to pass some cheer on to you three wonderful chaps, Memory cards is the best thing on YouTube, no doubt.
Starting point is 00:11:52 Thank you, Schnax. Congratulations on your home ownership. Yeah, congratulations. Yeah, you've escaped the Eternal Hellhole that is rending. Well done. Absolutely. And expect to hear this short recording in its entirety again at the end of the episode. Yeah, just with their messages still included, me saying that word again.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Oh, boy. Yeah. Poddy at's donations. Lovely. Now back to the present tense. We got there. Thank you, everyone. That's your Pod Squad for this week.
Starting point is 00:12:21 Streamlabs.com forward slash poddiast donations. If you'd like to join and get a shout out at the beginning. I like it. Thank you. I have brought some questions along from the Pod Squad and non-Pod Squad listeners. Oh. Got five for you. In no particular order.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Not that Chris Hardwick at C underscore Hardwick on Twitter asks or says, Vidiots is now a takeaway franchise. What's on the menu? in brackets it says I'd be quite partial to some Brian Butter Chicken That's quite good Okay
Starting point is 00:12:55 Which I like So I guess I mean not that this rule Has been imposed by Chris Hardwick But maybe we need to come up With a few dishes That are puns On the family
Starting point is 00:13:05 The universe Okay I'm now saying Ostrichod is a part of the video to universe It's got to be Like ostracod and chips Ostracod and chips
Starting point is 00:13:13 That's a knock that one Out of the park straight away If we're a fish and chip shop we could do mad stunts on your pedal pike Wow You can get a nice Is this going to be fish puns now Is that what this is going to be?
Starting point is 00:13:24 I don't know That just seemed like an easy one He'd get a nice sangria In a Michael Jugson Oh yeah, you can, yeah Not a pun But I feel like We do need to offer
Starting point is 00:13:35 Chill Grill's finest Unmelted hard grated cheese On Hot chips Absolutely We'd be nowhere about that Yeah A selection of Dick My drinkos.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Nice. Oh, very nice. Very, very good. And when we make bread, we prove it. Oh, dear. Really. We could do, if it's a chip shop, you could also do a battered sausage and could do
Starting point is 00:14:01 versed game ever. Oh, very good. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We've got a lovely selection of pieces of cake. Oh, of course we have. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Mm-hmm. And of course, rest in peace, memory cods. Oh, man. This is all just cods. Just cods. Hey, hang on, we could have desserts as well. We've got a couple of, we've got pieces of cake, we've got posts some tart as well. Oh, very nice. We have, yeah. I'm desperately trying to think of one for Billy Ray Walrus, but I just can't. That's what we call the large meal, the Philly Ray Walrus.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Yeah. It fills you up. Or Philly cheese steak, Philly Ray Waris. Yeah, yeah, that works. Yeah, I like that. Salmon Miller. Salmon Miller is very good, yeah. And we just sell the cake with their Ronald Kuhn on it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:51 And it costs £100. That's what you get pieces of with your pieces of cake. It's the Ronald Koon cake. There you go. I know it's Grimmis, isn't it? It's grimace, yeah, sorry. Well, yeah, he's saying Ronald Koon. He's addressing.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Ronald Koon. Sorry, my mistake. Is there any, we got anything else? I want one for Dick and Dom, but... Oh, yeah, Dick and Dominoes? Dick and Dominoes. Dick and Domino. That's the name of the place. There we go.
Starting point is 00:15:11 You get a Dick and Lick and Dominoes. Brilliant. I think we've... That menu is second to Gordon Ramsey. Oh, hang on. Can't forget the steak on Trent. Oh! Delicious.
Starting point is 00:15:27 It tastes smoggy. There's a trolley in mine. Well, I think that's a veritable bounty. There's loads there. Yeah. Sticking with food, though, I will just move on to question two before we go to a thing. John O'Deacon at John O'Deacon 20 says that Turkey Twisler's are back.
Starting point is 00:15:52 What? Did you not, are you not aware of this? It was trending on Twitter like two days ago, time of recording. Turkey Twisler's, Bernard Matthews, they're back in pog form. Why? They're healthier, apparently. They're like half the calories. They're massive.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Oh my God. Well, that's one for the thread. Michael's found a very strange photo there. I'll stick that in the thread now. for everyone to go back to and look at. That's incredibly specific. Turkey Twislers are back. Did you enjoy Turkey Twislers as a kid?
Starting point is 00:16:23 Was you gutted? They were banned 15 years ago. Are you happy they're back? I was gutted when they got banned 15 years ago and I have hated Jamie Oliver ever since. Fair, fair. Yeah. I hated Jamie Oliver before he banned Turkey Twislers,
Starting point is 00:16:37 but that's just me. What did you hate him for? Being a naked chef or... Yeah, you were in your early teens. Why did you hate him? My cousin worked at Jamie's Italian, and it was apparently a horrible place to work. I think he was like publicly, I think the newspapers talked about how he was fairly dismissive of the frequent reports of poor working conditions at his own restaurants. Oh, brilliant.
Starting point is 00:17:01 I think that's what did it. I never really had a turkey to. I've probably had one once at like someone's house, but we never had turkey to us as a kid. That's probably why you're so healthy now. Oh, I'm really healthy. They haven't been stained by the Twizzlers. God. They used to be a regular fixture in our school,
Starting point is 00:17:20 which always felt a bit weird because, yeah, they were horrendously unhealthy and not really meat, but whenever they were on at school, it was like a horde of people rushing to get the Twizzlers before they ran out. Like, we went rabid for them. Yeah. I think they did serve them up at my primary school, but I didn't have, I brought my own lunch in. Like, about 50% of the kids would just bring lunch from home,
Starting point is 00:17:41 so I didn't have them. We should probably say just for, anyone outside of the UK who's got no idea what we're talking about what a turkey twisler is. Do you guys want to try and describe that? It's a flavoured meat corkscrew. Yeah. Have you ever seen a duck penis before? It's exactly like that. I think that's what it's just a turkey's twizzler. There is nothing natural like that in nature apart from duck dick. Yeah. Either that or it's made from specifically the red jowly bit from a turkey.
Starting point is 00:18:14 it may that might be where they take the cuttings from i don't know oh man i did i used to love them i did really used to like him a lot yeah they were they were lovely for lack of a better word i suspect i would have liked them yeah it was it was just like meaty grease essentially with a bit of a breadcrum bread bread breadcum sorry bread crum oh my god bread crum courting uh is this it would if if it never got banned it probably would have been part of the vidiots Worst games ever meal. Yeah. It kind of fits in right with beans and potato smileys.
Starting point is 00:18:48 It does. It does. Yeah. So were you guys gutted when they were banned? Did you think it was, that shouldn't have happened? I was upset. I mean, I was indifferent because I, you know, I can't say I had them too many times. I thought they were tasty.
Starting point is 00:19:04 But when they were taking away, it was like, oh, that's a, I suppose that's a shame. Time for me to move on with my life. Yeah. Time to cook up some potato smileys and chicken dizzies. Think about them. at all. But what's the story? Why are they back and how can I get them? I think Mr. Matthews, Bernard. Bernard, to us, for Bernie. He's the one in the photo, isn't he, that Mikey put there?
Starting point is 00:19:25 Yeah. Bernard has decided that, I guess, just enough time has passed. He's like a disgraced YouTuber who's decided, okay, I can come back now, I think. My apology video. Yeah, exactly. Can we cancel Bernard Matthews, please? Well, I think he got cancelled by Jamie Oliver. That's the point. Bernard Matthews have just been making suspiciously shaped chicken nuggets ever since, but haven't touched turkey twizzlers. Gradually getting closer and closer to a spiral, but daring not go too close.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Turkey cones was their latest bold. I'm just reading an article about it now. Originally Turkey Twizzlers had, actually, do you want to guess what the turkey content was in percentage? Oh, I don't want to know. 15%. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say more, 23%. You were both very, very under there, actually.
Starting point is 00:20:21 It was 34%, so it wasn't as bad as we thought. Oh, good for them. Excellent. A third turkey. But the new improved versions have a whopping 70% turkey meat. Wow. They can actually... And only 30% horse.
Starting point is 00:20:35 And 1% twizzle. Yes. Yeah, I missed them when they were gone. but I think I got over it as a kid you kind of quickly move on from things, don't you? It's like, ah. Yeah, well. Ooh, what's that?
Starting point is 00:20:47 They're a nice artificial flavour, I think. That's what most people missed. Yeah, it didn't taste anything particular. Like, it tasted a turkey twizzler. Yeah. It was seasoning. But what seasoning it was is up to you. And then Mikey just moved on to Beiton at that point, I guess.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Beacon and Pirates on holidays, and I forgot all about the Twislers. Lovely. Who needs them? It's a shame that me content's gone up, because I probably could legally eat a 30% turkey twizzler because that's pretty much vegan, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:17 That's how it works. This is how it works if you just cut a third off. Is that the turkey gone? Exactly. It's just like Little Britain. If you cut it in half, you can eat twice as much. Yes. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Well, that's good. Good news. They're back. Yay. And better than ever. I'm so thrilled. Who would like to do a thing? I'll do my thing
Starting point is 00:21:41 Go on Sure It's a very important topic So I think it is good We get it out of the way first Right Animals as weapons Okay
Starting point is 00:21:49 Okay Yeah it's about time We talked about this It's a pressing issue In society right now And I think we'll address it And I think everyone be more knowledgeable for it You never know
Starting point is 00:21:59 What are you going to Sorry I've just totally fluffed up my own script here Never mind You never know When you're going to be going About your daily life And the challenger appears
Starting point is 00:22:08 and you've got to fight them off. But what do you do? If you've forgotten your trusty pocket knife, as you carry about to stab people that come up to you, yep. You obviously reach for the nearest animal, like these four people did. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Not where I thought this was going. I thought you're going to do like the dogs that they strapped bombs to and made them run under tanks and stuff. It's somehow more grim, but also more lighthearted than bomb dogs. Bomb dogs, who were trained on. on allied tanks
Starting point is 00:22:39 and then when they set them out in the field to run at enemy tanks, they weren't familiar with enemy tanks, so they ran their bombs underneath their own team's tanks and blew them up. Excellent. That's what they deserve. Yeah. We start with Florida native, because of course where else would something like
Starting point is 00:22:56 this happen, Rodney Bolton, who was a 38-year-old homeless man. One day he decided to wander into a pet store and he locked eyes with a little ferret. Oh no. He decided the ferret was now his and proceeded to stuff it down his trousers and flee the pet store with his new companion.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Right. But as he got outside, he was confronted by a 17-year-old who had witnessed the act of grand theft ferret and decided to step in. And at this point, Rodney switched into fight mode, whipped the ferret out of his trousers and slapped the 17-year-old in the face with it. Oh, my God. Is the 17-year-old alive? Thankfully, yes.
Starting point is 00:23:35 In the panic state, the ferret bit the kids' face. face, but luckily everyone got away on skith. The article was very brief considering the wacky tale this is. I don't know what happened. I assume the ferret got back at some point if they caught the man, or maybe the ferret just ran off to bite some more kids in the face. But Florida law considered the ferret a special weapon. As such, Rodney was charged with dangerously wielding and a battery charge. Wow. So I didn't realize that. Anything could become a weapon. I mean, it kind of makes sense, but ferret, cutness and pet, use it
Starting point is 00:24:12 as a weapon, bam, that's now a deadly weapon. Yeah, I guess they don't want to have like a list of what counts as a deadly weapon and then someone decides, well, I'm going to get away with it because I'm going to use, you know, a comedy inflatable banana or whatever. It's not on the list, so it's fine. Yeah, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:24:29 There is no information about this, is there? Every news story has the same four sentences. Yeah, it's mad. because I mean maybe no one wanted to talk about it like if you're getting slapped in the face of a ferret it's a bit embarrassing but there must be one reporter out there
Starting point is 00:24:44 who's like no I'm going to get at the bottom of this story who is Rodney Bolton what happened to the ferret what happened to the ferret is he in a lockup somewhere in evidence lockup was it Django maybe that's why he wasn't allowed to stay in his house
Starting point is 00:24:57 yeah that's it he's a deadly weapon shit Django come on but what if you've got an annoying child on your hands what can you what's the perfect animal to use in retaliation. Oh, man. If you said a hedgehog as an impromptu sentient shuriken, you'd be right.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Oh, my, I mean, it is a weapon I would choose if I had to use an animal. Like, that is the animal that is kind of a weapon in itself, so it makes sense. So a per 15-year-old boy was returning home with two friends when he was confronted by four men. One of the men, William, asked, do you want to wear a hedgehog helmet? the boy obviously indicated he'd rather not but William persisted and threw the animal and hit the boy in his hip leaving quite a mark and several quills stuck in his skin
Starting point is 00:25:44 and it gets wier at this point the boy's mother intervened and William responded by pulling down his trousers and exposing his ass to everyone oh what that's what you do right once you've launched your hedgehog you've got no other weapons bam use your ass this is so vidiates
Starting point is 00:26:04 it just sounds fake sounds like a stupid story that we've just riffed on out of nowhere but it's allegedly true it really does like I found these in an article and I was like
Starting point is 00:26:15 I'm not going to trust the saga I'm going to Google all these separately and yeah these are all completely true report on the BBC and everything William was fined for his for assault and offensive behaviour
Starting point is 00:26:27 however the more serious charge of assault with a weapon was dropped thankfully making him narrowly avoid a five-year prison sentence and instead was handed a $500 fine. Wow. I think that's the price for using a hedgehog as a weapon. That's what you get.
Starting point is 00:26:44 So far, neither of these people have been convicted of cruelty to animals. No, which is really bizarre because it is definitely cruelty to animals. In 2008, Korea criminal Fred Louis Irvin robbed a North Carolina gas station. And after grabbing everything he could from the cash register, he hopped across the road to a nearby parking lot to steal a getaway car. However, the car he targeted was accompanied by its owner. Irene, he was just trying to get into it with a shopping, bless her. But this didn't stop Fred. He had his eyes set on that car.
Starting point is 00:27:18 So he wrestled to the ground and started attacking her. And in a heroic moment, you know, all these people stood by flooded in to try and save her. and one of the shoppers managed to find a frozen turkey that had spilled from Eileen's groceries and proceeded to whack Fred over the head with it. Oh my goodness.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Good job, it wasn't a Twizzler. Yes, I nearly said Twizzler. I got twizzlers on the brain. God, he would kill them with E-Numbers. And despite the head injury, I don't really like to describe him, I'll just maniac, Fred, managed to escape in Irene's car, albeit in a messy fashion,
Starting point is 00:27:56 and he hit five other cars on the way out of the parking lot and was promptly apprehended by the police not long after. Wow. Sounds like a lovely chap. This last one is the best story I've ever heard. Oh God, okay, that's quite a claim. It's amazing. So, if you're on a mission to destroy the Hells Angels,
Starting point is 00:28:18 what could possibly be the most fitting weapon for the job? Well, boy, do I have the story for you. a German student had decided to stop taking his depression medication and went on the journey of a lifetime armed with only a puppy and a pair of shorts he got into his car and drove to the nearest Hells Angels hideout this all took place at Germany German student I did say good I didn't think Hells Angels had that much of a hold on the world
Starting point is 00:28:47 but they got hideouts everywhere apparently hideouts yeah a little hide that's cute it's a clubhouse let's say that that's more fun Yeah. So he strode into the grounds, heroically, again, dropped his shorts and just displayed himself in front of everyone. I don't understand the correlation between attacking with animals and showing her ass, but it's there. Bikers obviously stunned, tried to figure out exactly who had just walked in. And at this point, the student pulled out the puppy and hurled it at the nearest leather-clad man.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Just pause, take in the image. Guy, shout shorts on the ground. Puppies being flinged at big burly men in a motorcycle gang compound. But that's not all. At this point, the student must have realized what he'd just done and kind of come back to reality, and he decided it was time to escape. So the first phase of the escape involved running to a nearby building site and commandeering a fully operational bulldozer.
Starting point is 00:29:47 Oh, my God. Phase two had him realizing they aren't actually that fast, and they're not really the best vehicles for a speedy getaway. But he persisted, phase three, saw him causing a three-mile traffic jam on a highway as he slowly drove away from the bikers, who surely could have just gone up next to him, and knocked him out at this point. I assume they'd just let him go, because you don't mess a man who throws puppies and drops his trousers. And eventually on the highway, he gave up, he just ditched this bulldozer right in the middle of the highway
Starting point is 00:30:19 and hitchhiked the rest of the way home. I'm assuming Just in his shorts Yeah I'm assuming so But I don't know Maybe if you see someone shortless on the side of the road They need picking up more than anyone Wow
Starting point is 00:30:31 And he got home safely Well relatively safely But he was quickly apprehended by the law And the puppy was thankfully handed over to an animal shelter That's the one story that actually tells you What happened to the animal So yeah I'd be glad to hear
Starting point is 00:30:45 The puppy's all right There's a hell of a story for it to tell his pups at some point Yeah I've been in the hell's angels next day I got flung at a bike or whatever. You'll never believe what happened to me when I was a puppy. There you go. There's some ideas in case you ever need some impromptu weapons.
Starting point is 00:31:01 What a tale. Brilliant. Keep that in mind next time I'm in a fight, which is like all the time. Just work your ferret out. Bam. Yeah. We'll move on to a question here from Matthew Sivya,
Starting point is 00:31:16 I think, at Matty Sivya on Twitter. Matthew says As Podiat's is kind of like show and tell What's the best thing you ever brought to Or saw at show and tell? I'm willing to expand the question
Starting point is 00:31:30 Into Can you remember anything Worth telling about show and tell Because I remember a show and tell That was really lame But I thought it was like You know I put a lot of work into it
Starting point is 00:31:45 Oh bless I want to hear about it Okay so we were told that we would do everyone was going to do a presentation that was the word they used even though we were only in like year five or something so we would just do a talk for like three minutes about anything we wanted and you know people brought like their skateboard in or i think one or two people were fortunate enough to be able to bring their dog in or something like that or their rabbit you know in a box um and i didn't know what i was going to do mine on and i i visited my my grandparents that weekend who live out in the country and we went out on a walk with their dogs and we used to walk up to these like old quarries
Starting point is 00:32:28 that were like way up on like the moor side and when we were walking there I was saying like I don't know what I'm going to do my show and tell on and we just decided as I was walking up there that I would just do a presentation about the quarries so... Brilliant. Very interesting.
Starting point is 00:32:46 We were staying the night so that night we went and we bought like one or two disposable cameras from the chemists and the next day we walked back to the quarries and I took lots of photos of like the bare rock and stuff like that and
Starting point is 00:33:04 my granddad was telling me like about the dry stone walls that were there and I remember I actually remember like stuff he told me he was like oh yeah sometimes you'll see a dry stone wall that's like two layers deep and there'll be occasional stones that go all the way through both layers that that's how it holds together and they're called keystones so i still
Starting point is 00:33:24 remember that now and then i was thinking like the whole time i was like oh this is this is not really going to be like that exciting as a show and tell and then we got to uh this like old footprint in the floor like a the footprint of a building and uh it was apparently where they'd like they used to store the dynamite for the for the quarry and so i i really hammed that up in the uh in the present I was like, oh yeah, these store dynamite in here and like, if anyone had ever got in here and got the dynamite, they would have been able to like blow up the whole village and oh, it would have been like, it would have been a catastrophe and I think it went down well with the teacher because it wasn't just a really tedious, this is my rabbit, he eats carrots and drinks water. So that was my very off the wall choice because I couldn't think of anything else. You know, that's what I ended up doing a show and tell on. That's a monumental effort, to be fair. Not only did you visit the place twice to do research, you also bought a camera. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Well, I needed something to show, I guess. I couldn't just tell. You could bring a rock or two, I guess. I think I did bring a rock or two, but I also... Excellent. Good. We got all the pictures printed and stuck onto a big piece of cardboard, and then I did my presentation. That's really nice.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Yeah. I think my highlight, we didn't really do show and tell that often. I think it must happen like once or twice my entire life, but... One time we came into school and we were informed are that, oh, Hannah and Alex have brought in their ducklings. Oh, what? And so, like, I don't know how this happened, but they just brought them in. And, like, we'd get escorted out of the room in, like, groups of three or four. And we just go sit with the ducklings for ten minutes.
Starting point is 00:35:05 And it was the best day of my school life, because I just sat there with a duckling, sleeping in my arms, like, oh, this is great. Oh, yeah. This is education. This is what I want to be doing every day at school. God. Yeah, I want more ducklings in schools. do that. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds nice.
Starting point is 00:35:21 God, they should do that. They should have, because they have, um, when I was at uni, during exam period, uh, they would have dogs brought in, like puppies and have like a puppy petting room for a day, uh, because they'd heard it was happening at another uni and everyone was jealous about it and it never happened. Newcastle uni did it. I went to it. I wasn't even a student. Oh, really? Just, how about you, Ben? I can't say that I have ever experienced a show and tell first-hand. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:35:50 I don't think I've ever done one, yeah. I mean, we called it circle time at our school, but it was the same thing. No, we'd never had anything like that, unfortunately. Oh, no. Well, at least you're living show and tell for like 60 episodes now with poddiots. It's true.
Starting point is 00:36:06 That is what we do here. Or just tell. Tell, yes. Well, you go to Twitter for the shows and you listen for the tells. Yeah. Yeah. Show and tell really was like everybody brings a thing long to talk about. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:20 It's kind of what it is, really. Yeah. Oh, well, sorry to hear you never had ducklings at school or learned about a sick quarry. I know, I know, but I do have something I can show and tell now. Ooh, okay. I like that. Go for it. So imagine you've committed a crime, right?
Starting point is 00:36:39 Imagine. Just imagine. Imagine that big, juicy crime what you've done. You've gone into an interrogation room. you're awaiting some sort of professional who's going to come and ask you difficult questions. Do you have a lawyer present? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Apparently, inventor Helene Adelaide Shelby kind of hoped that you wouldn't when she, in the 1920s, filed a patent for this amazing confession extracting machine. Oh, my God. Without context, I'm going to send you a photo of it right now so you're sat down and this is what's in front of you no what which one are you
Starting point is 00:37:25 sitting down uh no well actually it looks like you stood up for some reason in this situation yeah oh my god wait what that i'm trying to decipher this this is bizarre looks horrible it's like just judging from the picture it looks like you know there's someone behind a scary model they're like the operator and you're going to be interrogated by some sort of demon. I think that's the idea here. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, here's what it be. Hmm. Courthrooms of the 1920s might have been a bit more exciting if law enforcement officials had taken the advice of one Helene Adelaide Shelby of Oakland, California. Shelby's innovative idea, what if someone besides an ordinary detective oversaw criminal justice-related interrogations?
Starting point is 00:38:12 What if, for instance, the questioner was a giant skeleton? with glowing red eyes and a camera hidden in its skull. Okay, now you say that that is literally what it looks like, yep. Yeah. Is that? US patent 174909090, aka apparatus for obtaining criminal confessions and photographically recording them, was filed by Shelby on August 16, 1927. Her goal was to cut down on retracted confessions.
Starting point is 00:38:38 It is a well-known fact in criminal practices that confessions obtained initially from those suspected of crimes through ordinary channels are almost, invariably later retracted, she explains in her patent application. I've got a front-facing photo of the Skelly Boy. There, he or she is. Oh, my God, it's horrifying. Her invention is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Oh, please do carry on. No, no, no, no, no. Go ahead. Well, the weird thing is to me is that this might be intimidating if you were completely, if you weren't expecting it at all, and then you just got shoved into a room with a talking, glowing skeleton, right? But surely, word would get around the circles of criminals within days that, oh, just, by the way, if they interrogate you at the local, you know, the local Nick,
Starting point is 00:39:28 it'll be like some stupid model that they've got and like, don't worry about it. It's just, there's a guy behind it. It's fine. Yeah, you would think so. But she was, she was quite convinced her invention, which she describes as a new and useful apparatus. It is designed to produce a state of mind calculated to cause a criminal, if guilty, to make confession thereof. Straightforward enough, right? The twist is, as always, in the execution. Shelby's invention works like this. First, the suspect is confined in a small dark chamber.
Starting point is 00:40:03 In the accompanying illustration, this ne'er-do-well is a bemused-looking man in cuffed pants standing upright, all very suspicious. The examiner, who is in charge of eliciting information from the suspect, sits in a second attached chamber and asks his questions through a megaphone. The suspect cannot see his human questioner, though. Instead, as soon as the examiner flicks a button, a curtain lifts within the chamber, and the unlucky interrogate is suddenly faced with a figure in the form of a skeleton, surrounded by a diaphanous veiling, and illuminated from both above and below by a plurality of electric lights, it says.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Plurality. That's a good word. This light and curtain scheme is designed to make the skeleton seem like an apparition as though it has spontaneously arisen inside the confession booth. The skeleton's eye sockets contain red light bulbs for the purpose of importing an unnatural ghastly glow and the megaphone is positioned in such a manner that the voice of the operator appears to come from the mouth of the skeleton
Starting point is 00:41:08 and then it says in parentheses it also blinks. Oh my God! Effective? you bet, these illusory effects of a supernatural character, Shelby writes, will work upon the suspect's imagination, convinced that he is speaking to a true ghost skeleton. The bandit in the chamber will spontaneously confess his most secret crimes. A ghost skeleton? Oh yeah, apparently so. It's not just like an undead thing. It's the ghost of a skeleton. It was a skeleton in its previous life. While the suspect is spilling his guts to the skeleton,
Starting point is 00:41:45 the skeleton is recording the suspect via a film camera installed in its skull. Said camera is a nifty machine that, as Shelby explains, can photographically and simultaneously record both scenes and words. Whoa! Yeah. Later, if the criminal attempts to retract his testimony, the pictures and audio which depict his every expression and emotion can be marshaled as evidence.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Who was the woman behind this twisted piece of genius? A search for Shelby's name in newspaper archives reveals only a few hints about her life. She was a bit of a real estate maven, selling and leasing properties in Oakland, Santa Cruz and San Francisco. She occasionally bet on horse races, and she died in 1947, leaving behind her husband, Edgar. Invention-wise, she was a one-hit wonder. She has no other patents on file. It doesn't seem as though anyone ever built her skeleton-based interrogator either. Which is probably for the best,
Starting point is 00:42:42 Because apparently in 1961, the Supreme Court ruled that coerced confessions are not admissible in court. Oh, there could have been a good 30 years there of coerced skeleton confessions. That would be an obvious period of crime. What I love is, yes, as Peter pointed out, somehow word wouldn't spread. And people just wouldn't want to do crimes anymore unless they see the ghost skeleton. And they don't want to hang out with the ghost skeleton. Yeah. And then the ghost skeleton is only really there to,
Starting point is 00:43:12 spook them, but also the camera is there to make sure, it seems like the whole point of this invention, as listed in her patent, was to stop people from retracting their testimonies, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's somehow ignoring the fact that a camera could be installed in the room anywhere
Starting point is 00:43:28 at any time during regular confessions. Yeah, she's saying that the skeleton will get them to confess, which is not the problem that she's identified. She's identified that the problem is if you get them to confess by normal means. they retract it.
Starting point is 00:43:43 So she's saying, but to solve the retraction, there will be a camera in the room. So surely you don't need the skeleton. You just need the camera. Exactly. I think, I think you're thinking about this too boringly.
Starting point is 00:43:55 I mean, if you were in a room, a curtain rises, and you're face-to-face with a glowing red-eyed skeleton with... Ghost of a skeleton. Ghost of a skeleton.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Sorry, with the sound of a camera rolling because they weren't quiet back then. It would be like, and like this megaphone. What did you do? Where did you commit the crime? That would be the most authentic, believable confession ever.
Starting point is 00:44:21 And it blinks. Yeah, that's the weird thing. Skeletons can't blink. They don't have eyelids. But yeah, I wish someone made this. I really want to see a real-life version of this. I think we can do it. This would have taken me in until I saw a skull blink.
Starting point is 00:44:37 And then I would have been like, hang on a minute. That's not right. I don't know any skeletons that can blink. Ghost skeletons. Ghosts, sorry, ghost skeletons. Yeah, no, that's the important line. This article comes from atlasobscura.com, by the way. It was written a few years ago.
Starting point is 00:44:52 This is a real patent. It exists online, and hopefully someone makes it at some point. There's still time. It's coming up on the 100-year anniversary of this patent. Oh, well, let's celebrate it in style. Yeah, I agree. Does this mean it's still patented, or do you have to keep paying for those to roll around? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:45:10 You know what? I'll give it a Google. now it's uh oh i can click on it i can click on it takes me to the google patent yeah there it is um oh it says it says it has expired but i think it still is assigned that number quick get in someone quick repatent this do it is that how that works can we do that yeah i'm not sure i'll adapt the design a little bit so it doesn't have our lids there's a whole new invention yeah uh sounds great and this we'll use it in our in our restaurants The glowing red-eyed skeleton will take your orders.
Starting point is 00:45:45 And if you complain that what you got wasn't actually what you ordered, we'll have recording proof of you ordering the Brian Butterfield Chicken. Yeah, that's what you wanted. Also, this was her only patent. It's a hell of an impact to make in the world, isn't it? Yeah, you can't just fucking drop the ghost skeleton and then leave it. Like, she had so much more to give the miss, surely. What did it say about her death?
Starting point is 00:46:12 died in 1947 I believe which also appears to be the same year that this oh my God it expired
Starting point is 00:46:18 I think the ghost skeleton got out and I think it killed her oh no she died in 1947
Starting point is 00:46:26 leaving behind her husband Eric and the ghost of her own skeleton yes maybe Edgar
Starting point is 00:46:31 her surviving husband no Edgar is the ghost skeleton well maybe she's now oh my
Starting point is 00:46:38 there's so many questions oh my we need someone we need to get someone to look to this. Let's contact the estate for Helene, see what we can work out. God, well, that was an incredible story. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Thank you. I'm in love with it. I'm going to get a picture printed out of my wall now and attach red LEDs to his eyes, so it feels like I'm actually being interrogated. Yeah. Well, talking of ghost skeletons, we've got a question here from Ghost McGoanads. Nice. Brilliant. Who says, it's so weird seeing the word Fortnite used now. Sorry? It's so weird seeing the word Fortnite used now. Why?
Starting point is 00:47:20 What? What? What a scream of a question? That was it. No, I've realized what that was actually. So I selected that question just because it sounded like, what have you put that for? I think actually my original tweet said, this fortnight's podcast or this fortnight's. So Ghost McGoanaz really thrown off by the word Fortnite.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Fortunately, I did bring a backup question. Hey! Also, different spelling of Fortnite. I think I get it because Fortnite the video game and Fortnite, the measurement of time. Absolutely. Different spelling. And also, I think the term Fortnite as in two weeks is far less common in North America, perhaps just the US than it is in the UK.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Anyway, that was just an observation made by Ghost McGoanus. Thank you very much for that. Thank you. Thanks, Ghost. Fortunately, Luke Tromens is here at Blue Boy Sfeel, 232 on Twitter, who asks, when is episode 50 coming? Oh, that's a very good question, actually. A fairly simple answer for this, which is just whenever the three of us can get together, really.
Starting point is 00:48:30 We wanted to hold off on 50 until we were ready. Until we could all get together and do an in-person episode. because it was like pretty much just around the time of the peak of the problem we were planning on doing it and I was like yeah travel's not really a thing at the minute is it no so we'll just skip episode 50 yeah it'll happen at some point no immediate plans but I think things are starting to loosen up a bit now and travel is actually a thing so yeah watch out open your ears and eyes it'll be out there someday It'll be here soon. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:07 So I'll do my thing now. Okay. So I've moved back to Newcastle. I've been at my family home for like five months. God. And in fact, I don't know if I've been experimenting with hanging up duvets and stuff when I've been recording things for Triple Jump. I've not actually got a duvet hanging up now.
Starting point is 00:49:26 So apologies if I sound a little bit echoey today in the podcast. But that aside, I was welcomed back with open arms to Newcastle. The second night that I slept in this flat, I think it was. I had the window open because it's been quite warm. And Ben and Mikey, you'll both know that outside of the sort of back window from my flat, there's a kind of pathway that goes between two buildings. It's like an alleyway, but it's sort of raised up.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Yeah. And you do get a few ne'er-do-wells. there at sort of three o'clock in the morning. Oh my God. And so I had the window open, it was dark and hot. And we heard from the spooky pathway, You've seen the price of cools,
Starting point is 00:50:17 40 quid a gram. And then just silence. And we sort of glanced at each other. And whoever this was, wasn't getting a response. And then there was a bit more silence. And then it was, you're seeing the price of cools, 40 quid a gram. Just a second time.
Starting point is 00:50:32 So I thought, what is this? Is there a man on the phone complaining about the price of whatever coals are? I looked out of the window. There's only one thing that's a certain price per gram. Yeah, no, I know. So I looked out of the window and he was just standing there by himself. He didn't have his phone. He was just sort of standing around.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Oh. And all he had in one hand, he had like a pull-along wheelie case, like a little one. And in the other hand, he had a very large bin bag that was tied in a knot. and had something sort of big and heavy in it. It was a very saggy bag. So he said that and then just complete silence and I was watching him through a little crack in the curtains for a while. And after a good minute or two,
Starting point is 00:51:16 he sort of kind of went, wait, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then just walked away. That was it. Sort of did a weird, oh, oh, oh, oh, thing. Wow. So... That's a very good impression. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:51:29 I sort of laughed at the end, but yeah, that was it. We didn't know what was going on, but it was, you know, it was welcome back to Newcastle. Yeah, Jesus. It sounds like he learned firsthand why something is however much a gram. Yeah, well, I think that's what he's been on. I hope he got his money's worth. So I immediately took to the internet to find out specifically what Coles refer to. I guess I probably would have thought, like, crack or something. but I saw one reference I think to black cocaine which is apparently something I don't know what they do to it to make it black I think I saw one reference on the internet
Starting point is 00:52:10 to that sometimes being called coals but really if you went to all the like main websites where they give like drug health and safety advice and say you know don't do it they tend to list like street names for drugs and couldn't find coals anywhere so it must be quite a local northeast you know mining city sort of thing so I immediately
Starting point is 00:52:32 decided well this week on the podcast I want to do a quiz for you lads on street names for recreational substances
Starting point is 00:52:44 okay so I found an article from the Guardian dot com was written in 2018 and they said the drug enforcement
Starting point is 00:52:53 administration DEA has published its annual report on slang terms for drugs then there's a bit more stuff and now a quiz multiple choice which of these does the DEA
Starting point is 00:53:05 list as a slang term for cocaine skinny Levi's flea market jeans or stonewashed denim what I've never heard any of those before me neither keep in mind obviously this
Starting point is 00:53:20 it's the DEA American if it's administration it sounds So, you know, it's not British terms, despite my accent that I'm doing, but either way, which of those are cocaine? Do you want the answers again? Yes, please. Skinny Levi's, flea market jeans, or stonewashed denim? I'm going to, I'm going to guess, was it skinny Levi's?
Starting point is 00:53:47 Mm-hmm. I'm going to guess skinny Levi's. Okay. I'm thinking stone-washed denim. Okay. the answer is flea market jeans apparently
Starting point is 00:53:58 flea market jean what I mean that's a good way to disguise your buying of drugs I'm getting some flea market jeans no one would batten eyelid at that yeah this quiz is great
Starting point is 00:54:10 and I love that it's all been taken directly from a DEA like published article because these don't sound real it sounds like the cake thing from brass eye Added to the list in 2018, which drug does the slang term God's flesh refer to? God's flesh.
Starting point is 00:54:31 God's flesh. Magic mushrooms, cannabis or steroids. That's got to be mushrooms. I'm going to say steroids. It's magic mushrooms. There we go. Nice. Question three.
Starting point is 00:54:42 If someone asked you for, there's a picture of Bernie Sanders here and it says, if someone asked you for Bernie's gold dust, what would they want? MDMA, cocaine, or a tuition-free college education, it says. Well done, Guardian. Oh, damn. It was one of them MDMA? Yeah. That one?
Starting point is 00:55:04 Yeah, I'm going to say MDMA as well. Cocaine. Oh. What? Yeah. Oh, we've got a choice of five here. Which of these is not listed as a term for MDMA or ecstasy? Dancing shoes, disco biscuits, hug, drug, very jolly.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Rancher and Scooby Snacks. Oh, those are great. I can't believe Fawtham are real. Yeah. Very Jolly Rancher. I think that's too wordy. Yeah, you want some Jolly Rancho. It's very jolly.
Starting point is 00:55:37 You're correct. It's very jolly rancher. Well done. Nice. Go get some Scooby snacks. Imagine if the guy behind your flat, you see how much Scooby snacks are now. 40 quid a gram.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Oh. Oh, yeah. There's five questions left. Which of these FM radio favourites is also a slang term from GHB? I don't even know what that question means. Or for GHB, I guess it means. Bruno Mars, Maroon 5 or Sam Smith. Maroon 5?
Starting point is 00:56:14 I'm going to say Bruno Mars. He seems like the kind. Who's got my Bruno Mars CD? You're correct. Yes. It says the DEA doesn't provide any further information about the terms, but a post on the crowdsource website Urban Dictionary claims a Bruno Mars is a 4-milled dose of GHB in a shot glass with citrus juice. Wow!
Starting point is 00:56:34 Orange or tropical are preferred. That's amazing. Broccoli, cabbage, shrimp and blue cheese are all names for cannabis, cat or synthetic cannabinoids. Oh, that's a tricky one Read out the answers again Cannabis, cat or synthetic cannabinoids Broccoli cabbage, shrimp and blue cheese Because everything sounds right except for shrimp
Starting point is 00:57:03 What the fuck shrimp? I'm going to go synthetic cannabinoids Doodoo do do do do I'm going to go regular Weidi-Weedy Oh, you're doing well Mikey, yeah It's regular weedy-weedy Shrimp
Starting point is 00:57:16 The article adds Chinese buffet, meanwhile, is slang for white heroin. Oh, thanks, Guardian. Great. Hey, there we go. Yeah, shrimp, seemingly. Question seven. Another term added in 2018,
Starting point is 00:57:31 What is a love flip? Doing cocaine while on opiates, doing ketamine while on acid or LSD, or doing peatote while on MDMA, or is it, it's peyote? Pioti, yeah. Is those flowers from GTA? Yeah, the little cactus
Starting point is 00:57:51 that make you transform into a bird I think it's like peyote or something What was the first one? Cocaine on opiates I'll go for that one I'm going to say Or was it LSD and MDMA
Starting point is 00:58:05 Ketamine on LSD Ketamine on LSD Yeah It was the third one Doing Pioti or Piot Well on MDMA Piot Really?
Starting point is 00:58:16 Piot Piot Question 8. If you asked a dealer for white girls, what would you get? Arrested. Yeah, definitely. Xanax, Molly or Chardonnay? Shardonnay, sorry.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Yeah, I don't know if that means literal chardonnay, or if that's a double-layered street. Is that another euphemism? Zanax, Molly or Chardonnay, white girls. Molly. I'm thinking Xanax. It's Xanax. Oh, wow. Why are they called girls?
Starting point is 00:58:46 They don't look like women. Not sure. I did Google Shrimpweed. It looks like it's a certain strain called Jumbo Shrimp and it looks horrified. Oh, wow, look at that. That's like something from...
Starting point is 00:58:57 God. Pacific Rim. It looks like it should have eyes. I don't like it. That'll send you to the moon. It would, yeah. Which of these is not a type of synthetic cannabinoid?
Starting point is 00:59:09 I hope I'm saying that right, but you try reading it. Poparee, Froyo or hipster. I'm going to say the middle one. I could see Popperie being something, and hipster just sounds right. Froyo. Froyo. Ben? You got...
Starting point is 00:59:25 I'll go throw you. It is. It's Froyo. Nice. Nice. Last question. Which of these is dealer slang for one kilogram? Is it a can of paint, a bottle of soda, or a pint of bitter?
Starting point is 00:59:44 A bottle of soda. yeah it must be a bottle of soda that makes sense it was a can of paint what kind of paint I guess it depends on the size of the can yeah extra kilos worth a paint there we go so we all learnt something
Starting point is 01:00:01 except what coals means so if there's anyone from the north-east who's big into drugs listening right now please let me know on social media either what coals means or if you're aware of the going rate of something being
Starting point is 01:00:18 40 quid a gram. Yeah, why are they so expensive now? What's that about? Thatcher, isn't it? Yeah, bloody thatcher. Wow, thank you. We're all professional drug boys now. We could go to any dealer in the world
Starting point is 01:00:32 and get whatever we want. Yeah, I'll have a can of paintsworth of a very jolly rancher, please. Well, that brings us on to the final question. This is from Addy. Addie underscore P on Twitter you're given a super important suitcase
Starting point is 01:00:49 that you need to hide for a year because some powerful bad people are looking for it where do you hide it so that no one can ever find it but you still have to check on it and get back to it so you can't just like chuck it in the sea he says Fair enough I'd probably stick it in the quarries
Starting point is 01:01:06 Yeah And where they used to keep the dynamite Yeah Where would I keep my big suitcase of cool Yeah I'd probably leave it at my parents just put it in the loft Yeah
Starting point is 01:01:19 Could you trust them not to look in it Yeah I mean I guess Yeah Yeah I think my parents would get Get too interested So
Starting point is 01:01:27 Would you not worry about The big bads Maybe coming and And tearing your parents' house apart To find True Well I mean Would they
Starting point is 01:01:36 Would they know where it is Maybe not But they might Surely they would come to me Well they might come to you And when you've not got it They might try your family and friends I don't know
Starting point is 01:01:45 But I guess they'd try that anyway, whether it was there or not. Yeah, it sounds like a lot of hard work on their part, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to put my suitcase under the cheese heater at the chill grill, because they apparently never fucking use the thing. Well, they don't anymore. Not anymore, no, rest and peace chill grill.
Starting point is 01:02:04 Oh, yeah, so that's out of the question. Shit. Hmm. Well, that's a really good question. Where would you hide something if you want to be out of sight? But you still have to access it. Idiot's room at the Oggsker. Yeah?
Starting point is 01:02:14 Actually, yeah. Yeah. I could probably just, like, go in the office, into the basement, shook it in a corner, and it would probably never be disturbed again. Yeah. It would just be in the background of the occasional, like, hat film sketch or something. What's in the body, Addy? I mean, what's in the bag?
Starting point is 01:02:30 I think I've kind of finished a sentence there. You answered your question, then. Yeah. Addie, please, don't just get help. Don't be hiding suitcases in family houses or whatnot. Yeah, stop it. Get some help, stop it. Get some help.
Starting point is 01:02:42 Yeah, I guess we need more information in future. Let us know what's in the case, and maybe that'll change everything, you know. But there we go. That's that for now. I guess the idea was that you've been handed this case. You don't know anything about it. You've been told to hide it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:57 But, yeah, well, actually, there's a little, there's a, in one of the rooms in the office. There is an entrance to the ceiling. I can probably bung it up there. Although apparently people do go up there every once a while, so maybe that's not the best place. Didn't they get squirrels up there once or something? Or rats. Yeah, you could definitely hear rats in the ceiling, which is great fun. depending fear of a rat falling on you.
Starting point is 01:03:18 It's good. Yeah, perfect. Well, thank you. Lovely. Lovely. To the two of you and to the five or six questioners. Yeah. Thank you all.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Absolutely. Thank you so much for listening, everybody. Hey, did you know that if you went to store.orgscast.com, you could find some vidiates slash potty. It's merch. Isn't that right, Michael? Oh, boy, you are absolutely right. What an array of wondrous merch we've got. And if you haven't bought any yet, what are you doing?
Starting point is 01:03:47 And it's a sweeten the deal. If you use code vidiates at checkout, that is called Vidiates, you'll get 10% off everything on the Yogskast store, everything. And the best thing is, it comes from an independent, like, supplier, so it's not being stored in the rat ceiling. Uh-huh. Or rooms with rats above. And if you, if you're very, very polite and that's nicely in the order notes for,
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Starting point is 01:04:37 vidiates official as well as twitch. Vidyat's official forward slash vidiates official Should we do streams there sometimes? Hey, so what about that, that pod squad, huh? Oh, that beautiful, beautiful pod squad. So, so cool.
Starting point is 01:04:52 Did you know that if you wanted to support us financially, you could do over at streamlabs.com forward slash potty, it's donations and donate three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. Here is your pod squad one last time for this week. Finn Tristum, the cunning linguist, the ever generous cunning linguist, Lord Brotovic, Tommy the Wank Engine,
Starting point is 01:05:13 I never went to poo-poo-po-yava or java something with a jay. Dobri-Vecca Pani Podiotov, very generous, thank you, and have fun with your journey. Why the hell are you doing that, you madman? Stephen Scourdes, specky-becky, and sexy, unctuous little mud bath. Very generous, call me Alex. The jingle, what looked at TP. Kevin from Con, what a wonderful Will and Willie. Axles Alive, 95
Starting point is 01:05:44 Long Crunchy Carrot El Brotovich loves Louis J. Weber Freddy Webber's Wallows come Big Titty Lightning McQueen Lightning McQueen It's been typoed Flacid Wilson
Starting point is 01:05:56 Donner C Please love me I'm so alone And Puba eats There's also At Porridge Boy on Twitter My Monsilla Perigiots Cal Jogo the Hobo
Starting point is 01:06:07 With a Phono The CG Just have a tuck Shreddy Murphy Uncle chuckle fucker, queef sweat, mercenary, prostitute, extra 50s worth of Monica, Superberto, Ami Dosange, BF forums, gas provider and drowning bandicoot fetish. Thank you so much, everybody. Oh, but wait, hang on, there's still more, because some of you naughty boys and girls and others are still using the old forward slash vidiates official link. Luckily, we've caught it this time,
Starting point is 01:06:35 but we don't usually do it, so please make sure you're donating to Poddyitz donations. We start with the very generous No Sam DeVad who says, I've been a huge fan of you guys from the name redundant days and I love your content here on Vidyat's and at New Ventures. Just wanted to finally put something forward to the things I love. Although Vidyates has changed, I still love the podcast. Thank you very much, Noam.
Starting point is 01:06:57 Oh, thank you. There's also Trunter's Turkey Twizzlers and someone's flipping daughter. It's a very rude word, that's. It's the worst word ever. Go on, Peter. Don't be a coward. Oh, you want me to...
Starting point is 01:07:10 All right, then. You can do it. Yeah, go on. Could you see what your daughter's done? Your cunting daughter? For those who don't know, it's a reference to... It's a line from, what is it, The Exorcist? Yes, something.
Starting point is 01:07:22 I think so. Oh, of course. And also, very big thank you to... Who was generous and said, been listening in your various guises for years, but not being able to donate so far as been saving for a deposit for my first home. I am now in and wanted to pass some cheer on to you three
Starting point is 01:07:38 wonderful chaps memory cards is the best thing on YouTube no doubt thank you schnax congratulations on your home ownership yeah congratulations yeah you've escaped the eternal hell hall that is rending well do absolutely and expect to hear this short recording in its entirety again at the end of the episode yeah just with their messages still included me saying that word again oh boy yeah potty its donations lovely now back to the the present tense Once more, that's streamlabs.com forward slash potty. It's donations. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 01:08:12 Mikey, where can people find you? I'm at Parra Boy on the tweeters where I do things like post pictures of the new ferrets we get, because apparently that just happens every week. And I will be streaming again soon at some point. I think I've said that for last month, haven't I? But it will be kicking up again soon. It's just been a busy few weekends with family visiting and whatnot. So maybe, maybe, well, actually, you know, by the time this episode,
Starting point is 01:08:38 goes out. This will be outdated, but perhaps Friday the 21st, you might have seen a stream from me. You never know. Ooh, spooky. He's been a busy boy. He's got a new dangerous weapon to look after. He has. Come on us. Rip him out my trousers and fling him at someone. Peter, where can people find us? They can find us at that Peter Austin and at Confused underscore dude on Twitter, but more importantly, at Team Triple Jump on Twitter and Facebook, but also on YouTube and Twitch, where we're doing live streams, we're doing video game semi-journalistic content and lists, but also vidiates style shows too, including Prove It and Worst Games Ever and Piece of Cake, which is now Rules Boss and so on and so forth. Go check it out.
Starting point is 01:09:25 Nice. Absolutely. Finally, leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice. It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. Do we have a final question for the show? Oh. If you had to invent a new street name for a drug, which drug and what would you name it? Yeah. Okay. I like it. Very good.
Starting point is 01:09:46 Very good. Well, thanks so much for listening, everybody. We'll see you next time. Take care. Bye. Bye. Bye-bye. Thank you.

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