Podiots - Podiots: Episode 65 - Twisted Creations

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

Ben brings us the origins of the chainsaw, Mikey has us in tiers, and Peter tells tall tales of ferocious critters. Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord   Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Maybe it's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories around either watching these commercials on TV or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us. And so this is lockdown again

And so this is lockdown again And what have we done Nothing at all It doesn't feel like lockdown Except I'm always indoors And new one's just begun And so this is lockdown Oh, there's going to be some terrible lockdown Christmas songs, isn't there?

I'm still waiting. I don't think John Lewis have released their ad yet, have they? Oh, they have they? Oh, have they? I've not seen it. I mean, we've been saying, I've been saying for a past couple of months, like, what is their ad going to be? It'll be like, NHS workers shutting their houses, and obviously that's, you know, that's a good thing to celebrate and stuff. Not that they're shutting their houses, but NHS workers.

but you know it's just going to be the most it's got to be COVID related right what is it have you seen it I've seen it and thankfully it's not isn't it it's just a nice little like story of giving and it's all done in loads of different styles it's it's a welcome relief from as I was expecting the same thing I was expecting this Christmas to be an onslaught of things have been a bit weird this year

oh you're talking about the one with the hearts yes but I've there's like a there's like a pigeon but I thought that was actually a supermarket. I didn't think that was John Lewis, but maybe it is. It is John Lewis, boy. Yeah.

I must have, I thought I saw it under a hashtag. It was like... Quality advertising there, John Lewis. Yeah, didn't even know which shop it was. I thought I saw it under like hashtag Sainsburyce or something like that, so I don't know, maybe not. Oh, well, okay, yeah, I've seen that one. It is actually quite good.

Yeah, it's nice. Yeah. Good. Anyway, lockdown, yeah. Yeah, that's fun, isn't it? Enjoying it. I put my tree up. Oh, yeah.

Really? Yeah. It's two foot. Oh, yeah. Big tree. Yeah. Nice, big tree. Is decorated or is it just a bad tree? Well, it's got lights built into it because, you know, only the best.

And, you know, runs off battery also, premium product. Nice. It's got little baubles on it, a few red baubles. Some of them have that terrible glitter on that follows you for years. Oh, no. Oh, good. and some beads, some gold beads. Beads.

Beads. Beads. As well. So, yeah, pretty excited about that. It looked a bit shit. So I've put it on a box now. Oh. Now it looks a bit more impressive. It has really elevated it.

Yeah, literally. Do you always put your tree up this early? Is it early? No, no, no. It is early. Yeah, I've done it because I'm in lockdown. and it's been a miserable year So fuck you, it's Christmas Fuck you, it's Christmas, I don't give a shit

You know, I never get myself I never put up a tree usually Because I go celebrate Christmas with my family But, and you know, I'm out Working five days a week But now that I'm here all the time I feel like I might as well have something to look at And so I got myself a little shit tree

You know? Oh, that's cute. Merry shitmas. Well maybe we should put up the Pottiates tree as well just early Should we just Well just the music Just cut it in Like mid

Whatever Michael's about to say next I mean I was going to Sort of mime me putting a tree up Or not mine What's the opposite of mime What's radio for mime Audio description for the blind Yeah

There we go Peter puts up a Christmas tree Wow It's beautiful The picture you've painted there Wow Yeah That's really magical

If what would really top it off would be some music Hello everybody and welcome to Poddyets, the official Podcast It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three us

where everybody brings A Thing Along to Talk talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. Michael talked to me about these rodents. Oh, we've got rodents at the minute. I'm not talking about the ferrets. Not talk about the long ones. Oh, I wish there was. No, I was going to say I wish they were as big as the ferrets, but that would be absolutely horrifying. No, because they would scale up so they wouldn't be long and thin. They would just be massive. Oh, that'd be horrifying. The thing with mice, I really like them.

I think they're really cute, but they can really cause mayhem in a house, so it's not really a good idea to keep them around. And we, the other week, heard some scratching in the walls, and we were like, hmm, that's not good. Jeff, come out, please. Sadly, no, it wasn't an extra special magical mongoose. It was tiny little mousy boys. and so we did the right thing

we set up a few traps first night we caught two and we responsibly disposed of them because with mice you're not supposed to drop them off just near your streets you have to take them quite far away because otherwise I'll just return back so for some reason we decide the best thing to do would be to drive 45 minutes

to a nature reserve so at least had like you know a nice environment we dropped them off by the toilets had a bit of shelter we drop them off to do their thing obviously the problem with this idea was every time we found a mouse it was oh great now it's time for an hour and a half round trip and every time we went it

felt like midnight and we were trespassing on private property that give these mice a nice home to release the mice we have changed we've gone somewhere slightly closer we've gone to some allotments so now when we get the mice they go not that far away and it's a bit easier for us but are they going to cause trouble

in the allotment the mice I feel I've Michael? Don't make me feel bad for dropping the mice. Michael? They might, no, there's lots of... Michael, have you ruined the harvest, Michael? No!

Hey, harvest, the mouse are happy. The mice are happy, all right? They've got food and fruit and everything. There's probably already a turn in there, whatever. But Mrs. Goggins, that's her Christmas sprouts there. Yeah, we've all got little nibble marks in them now. It's Christmas for the mice as well. There's farting mice all over the allotment.

Okay. I may have accidentally ruined Bristol's allotment economy. I'm sorry. Little furry stink bombs. Oh dear. Do you want to guess how many we've caught so far? Oh, God. Ten? Close. I think less. Fewer. It's eight so far. That's a lot.

That's a lot. And the thing is, that's definitely not all of them. Oh, no. It's been a few quiet days, but the other day I walked out in the kitchen, one just sat in the middle looking at me. I was like, oh, fuck's it. There's more. And now I just live in constant fear in my house. At least it's not the, at least not, I've really struggled to think of the word rats there. I was like, what are those big mice call? I don't know where that word went out of my head.

Mice too. Mice, yeah. The sequel to mice. At least it's not rats because there's a friend of our family who is a GP. And she unfortunately has, she's been diagnosed with COVID. And so she's self-isolating. And at the same time, she's realized she's got rats in a house. She lives in this old, I think she lives in quite an old, like a nice old house,

but it's big and, you know, has big cavities in the walls and is ratty. And so, and they're not just in, because sometimes with rats and mice, they can just be sort of in your walls or in your attic and they're not like around your house. But they're around her house, like in her kitchen and God knows where else. and the pest controller won't come or can't come because she's self-isolating with COVID so she's just living with rats for like two weeks that are in her house

like in her kitchen and I don't think she wants to really leave her bedroom at the moment so count yourself lucky that's like the plot of a horror movie I was going to say it sounds like the shape of water but with rats the sequel but with rat yeah it's just the shape of water and then in brackets but with rats

yeah the most impressive thing about the mice was they're coming into my room to grab the droppings of ferret foods and I feel like that's just the stupidest thing ever you walk right into the lion's den like ferrets supposedly are

you know they're good at hunting the predators I mean I don't think ours are but I just think that's a brave mouse to come in here maybe it deserves to be here I feel bad for taking it to the allotments now you've got to have those crumbs son son

got to get those crumbs so is there like a proper humane way to if you were to call a man or woman to come out, are there any solutions other than murder the mice? I mean... Yeah, you can do like humane traps and stuff, I think. Yeah, I mean, by far the most effective thing is just blitz them and plug up any holes. I think what we've been doing is getting just mouse traps that,

a little box is essentially that the door hinges up when they enter it, so they get caught in that. And you can get, like, repellents. like emitters that you plug into your wall that emits a high frequency, that's supposed to deter them as well, but that's not. I think that would just make them move away from where the emitter is. And presumably, like, well, I mean, what do I know, but it might not go down well with the ferrets. If it's not nice for a mouse, it might not be nice for a ferret.

Yeah, that was my concern as well. So right now we're just going for the long and slow approach of trying to slowly catch them all. I'm worried now they've gotten smart to the traps, and we're just developing smarter mice. They're learning. well we'll just have to check in with you next time Michael to see if you're going to spend Christmas with the mice oh please no it's just I've never felt so uneasy sitting in my living room at like 4 a.m and just thinking there could be a mouse watching me because that's what one of them did

for the first mouse was caught I've got quite a big crack under my door so he could he could easily pop in and out and I turned round and there's a mouse sitting there and he sat and watched for a minute and it just felt so saw and easy. How many hours have I spent at a computer while being watched at a mouse? What have they seen? Cheeky bastards. Cheeky bastards.

Well, I tell you who aren't a load of freeloaders living in the walls. Our wonderful fucking pod squad for this week. Hey, did you know that you could support the show financially? You can. You actually can. You can listen to it for free. And we love you very much. But if you want to go one step

further and support us financially, you can do by going to streamlabs.com forward slash poddiots donations. Donate three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show and join Pod Squad. This week we have an unbelievably generous bunch of boys and girls and probably others, I would imagine. So, Mikey, would you like to kick us off? We start with Come Bob Square Piness. Lord Mayers Pupia. Lamb Spam and Jam Toasty Jason Alombie. Tommy, the Wank Engine. He's ever generous. Oh, he's actually followed up from his previous donation, but he's found on the bathroom floor. Yes.

I was not naked when my roommate found me on the bathroom floor, but I was shirtless, which is embarrassing because I'm built like a Hispanic Pillsbury Doer Boy. Also, she was about to call the police because I wasn't moving. Sorry about that, Abby. Oh, no. Oh, no. And we continue with Stephen Scouts, a pile of yesterday's come. Oh, good. Thanks. You can have that money back Thanks for no thanks Kewi

Always Sunny in Willem Delphia It works Goey Bug Spittoon Apple CEO Steve Jobs Oh my God with 1B The actual one Why isn't the donation bigger Than that?

Yeah, come on Steve Jobs holding out on us Steve Jobs Even with Steve Jobs Massive Empire It's still in relative terms a very generous donation. Yes, it is, yeah. Had I known the iPhone will be so used to ingest this tripe, perhaps I wouldn't have made it so smart in the first place. Thanks, Steve.

I appreciate that. And we got Ackshell 93, who was incredibly generous. And they say, by the way, it's pronounced as one word, not A.K. Shell. Just wanted to say, oh, I probably shouldn't read that. That was stage instructions. Hey, we all learned now. There we go. Well, just in future. If you see Ack Shell about, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just wanted to say you boys bring so much joy to the world these are hard times and they must be hard for you too but I just want to say that the waris army thank you love you bye

thank you action that's incredibly generous thank you very very generous I pissed Ben's BED Bed bed Ah there we go thank you I pissed Ben's bed at what culture Thank you

bastard Bastard. Chunters, bumpis, boppis, Peter's cunting daughter, Chav Chav Ramirez, Lord Brotovic, a very generous Tobias, Weatherburn. Hi, boys. Long time listener here, first time spender. I like that a lot, first time spender.

Please give a shout out to my wonderful partner, B. B. B, B, B. They are amazing, and your content brings us both a lot of laughs and a lot of joy. P.S. Can't believe you didn't come to our wedding. in Cardiff. Oh, we missed the wedding. Oh, no. Hello, Tobias and partner B. We hope you're married. We know you're married. Yeah, but he's not already divorced. I hope you had a wonderful day. Sorry, we couldn't be there. Sorry, something, something about lockdown. And the last one. Probably in 2018, but yeah. Yeah. If you did a wedding this year, it's very irresponsible.

And the last one is smelly, bummy, plops in my. My tummy. Thank you. Lovely. Well, the list continues with Stucalicious. Katie Kinsolo, who was quite generous, but not quite generous enough for a message. But I just wanted to say, thanks for being generous anyway, Katie Kinsolo, because that's a good amount. Emily Lemons, flap, slap, macwack.

There's no C. It's just M quack. Kevin from Con, who was actually generous enough for a message, who says, No funny message. Just love for the boys. Thank you, Kevin. Thank you, Kevin. Po yo-yo-un underscore stapler.

Okay. Arthur from Natural Nine. Specky-becky. Dominic Cummings is Goings. Bye-bye. Veddy-febber, Kithes, Boars, 420. Four seasons, to, they're so hard. Four seasons total landscaping, but A-L-A-N is in caps, so it's Alan.

Two first names. Buy Art Pop on iTunes, who was very generous and said, Hello, my best friend, whom you might know as Tommy the Wank Engine, or Triggily Sear-E-R-E-R-T, has been a huge dedicated fan over the years and turned me into one as well. His birthday is coming up soon, and I was hoping you can wish him a happy birthday. Oh, birthday, Trimmy, Siride. Tommy. Happy birthday, Tommy.

I hope you don't spend it on the bathroom floor. No. Axel's Alive 95. Kess of Gallifrey. I'm 44. I should know better. It was very, very generous and didn't know better. And has said,

been with you, lad, since the days when Scott Tailford wasn't in every what culture video. Keep up the great work. Sorry, I've not contributed before. I'm old and forgetful. Thank you for your generosity there. Don't worry about that. Prince Beefcakes The Lovable Kasi

and Ben's Breaklight Spider And we wrap it up with Trans Wright Donak 07 Who says I keep forgetting to donate Because I'm an idiot So have a bit extra this time Love you guys

Thank you Donak Thank you Count every vote killer That's it Pollen packed pipe With just an absurd donation And they say This is for the time

I watched but couldn't donate. Stay peachy. Thank you so much pollen. Thank you. Thank you very much. You're doing okay. The gay penguin agenda. A very generous Mr. E. Sender, that's their name. Meet the face because. Oh, I see. Meat face. Gotcha. Oh, there we go. Hasty diatribe, Fort Wendy. Vidiots is changing. Peter gets... Oh, it looks like it says Peter gets shit by a truck. But it's Peter gets hit by a truck. Thank you for the generous donation. have to read this if you don't want to, I can provide any, almost anything to hit Peter with truck. Truck with semi-truck and dog, what, three to six axles, or any earth-moving equipment other than, what? Oh, there's no punctuation, okay. Or any earth-moving equipment. Other

than that nonsense, thank you for everything you do. Thank you, Peter gets hit by a truck. How do you feel about getting hit by earth-moving equipment, Peter? I'm not really sure exactly what. I mean, I'm assuming that sort of... A shovel? Diggers. and things. Diggers, yeah. A shovel. Technically earth-moving equipment. It's true. I suppose so. Can't argue with that. I suppose so. Yeah. We've also got Wally, who was also very, very generous,

loved your content for a long time. This isn't much compared to the laughs you've all given me, but it's what I can do at the moment. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Mr. Macca, FinTristan, PLC, very generous Matt 66727, who says, Hey, guys, love the podcast. Can I get some good luck wishes, and a hello for my friend Nicole, who's a big fan.

She introduced me to your videos and has just started on her PhD. Best of luck, Nicole. Best of luck to you. And thank you for telling your friends as well. Yes, thank you. Nicole, if you're hearing this, pass on the good word to the people in your PhD.

Go on, spread the love. Everyone keep telling your friends. It's not over. It's not over until we say it's over. Thank you, Matt. Is Ben Fast yet 2020? DG, hashtag make bend fast in 2020, and Axles Alive 95. I can confirm pretty fucking fast.

So I think we did it, please. Thank you so much. That is your incredible Pod Squad for this week. I say you. They will get a shout out again at the end of the show. And if you would like to join Pod Squad, three pounds or more. And if you go to Streamlabs.com forward slash potty at Stoneationz with an S on the end, you'll find out more information there. Thank you so much.

Peter, you are question boy this week. I am and I've got questions right here. The first one is from Steve. Stephen Brindley, at Stevo Brindley, who says, if you could only choose one song to play every time you walked into a room for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? Stephen says, I'd probably choose the Imperial March. Basic, I know.

It's a good shout, to be fair. It's pretty good, yeah. While you guys have a think, I've got at least an initial answer. It's probably not, you know, it's not having had a lot of thinking time answer. but there was a time back when when Game of Thrones was relevant and we hadn't forgotten that it existed yeah

back in sort of the last few seasons but not the last season people used to like people from the What Culture Offices and stuff would sing the Game of Thrones theme tune but they would say Austin Peter Rothen Peter Austin

and I would just have that every time I walk into a room good. The entire Game of Thrones theme tune, but the lyrics are just Peter Austin. And you have to start with Austin, which is the weirdest bit, because of the way, sort of the inflection of the song, it's Austin, Peter Rossin, Peter Ross, and that's what I would have. Wow, that's good. That's a powerful choice.

It is, you know, I like it. I don't know about you fellas, though, if you've got, you know, a tune. I mean, it might not, it doesn't have to be a song that introduces you as such. Maybe it would just make you feel good. or make you look good as you walk into a room. I know exactly what I'd go for. Yeah. Dancing Queen by Abba.

Oh, I want to be the Dancing Queen. Oh, here he comes. Every time. Well, I guess at that point I have to prove myself as the dancing queen. True. That's a big claim. The song's playing. I mean, who else has that song playing every time they walk in a room? No one but me.

I'm the dancing queen. Thank you very much. Michael Johnson, Dancing Queen. Queen. That's it. I would hear that and I wouldn't doubt it and be like, well, that's, he's got the Dancing Queen music, so who am I to judge? Yeah, exactly. That's him. Goodness, it's a difficult, it's a difficult one. Maybe, I was, I was going to say the animated X-Men music from the 90s. Oh yeah, oh yeah. But part of me is leaning towards the animated 90s Spider-Man music just because

of how bat-shit 90s it was. You know, that Spider-Man, Spider-Man, and it's got the weird robot voice over the top. Oh, yeah. Radioactive Spider-Man, you know that. That's it, every time.

But it's got a really long intro. So everyone would just hear like a sort of web zip sound and it would just go, me, like this guitar fretboard just sliding down for about 30 seconds. And then I'd be in the room. So no one would ever hear the good bit. But they'd just hear the little web bit, and like, oh, here comes Ben.

The web boy. The web boy, fast web boy. Yeah. The best thing would be if we all walked into a room at the same time, just the absolute cacophony of all of this. Oh, yeah, this is anarchy, isn't it? Could we all try and do our songs at the same time to see what it sound like? Okay.

It's difficult to sing the Spider-Man theme song. If you just do your best job, okay, I'll count of run in. All right. Three, two, one. Dancing queen Pita Rossi You're sweet Beal only 17

Feel the pizza of the tambourine Barterine So that's Okay Wow I mean That's I mean people will be

Requesting us to walk into a room At the same time I think we'll be getting gigs and stuff Yes I think that sounded great Yeah me too Absolutely Imagine

I think I got the lyrics right Imagine if that curse or boon, whatever it is, I think it's maybe a curse, is applied to you for the rest of your life, but also for your final entrance into the church or crematorium in the coffin. That's what you've got to come into now. Radioactive Spider-Man. Yeah. Love it. Peter Austin kind of works. It's like quite ominous.

It could be sad. My great, great, great, great-great-great-grandchildren. I was very busy Are all in tears Holding a loft You know a casket As radioactive Spider-Man plays out Would you be in the Spider-Man suit

As you went down as well I would like to think that There's a Spider-Man suit That's been sort of stretched over the casket So that it's got sort of like You know The arms are dangling Because there's nothing in them

Yeah But it's really loose and floppy. Yeah, but it's really tall along the torso. I just like the image of all of Michael's loved ones sitting and maybe in like a very quiet like cram or something. You know, no one's even like really talking. They're all just being very respectful and like thinking, you know,

sort of having a moment to themselves. And then just out of the silence, it suddenly goes, ha, ha, ha, ha. I think there'd be a really sweet sort of a cappella choir version, like a slow, a slow dance. version for Mikey's final journey. Oh, yeah. You were the dancing.

Oh, no. As he's lowered into the ground. Young and sweet, only 27. Oh, God. Oh, no, he dies this year. Oh, gosh, shit. I'll give him us off more time. Wow.

And Peter's getting buried in a castle anyway, so that his music is just appropriate. It is very appropriate, yeah. Brilliant. Well, lads, have you guys? got things. Yeah. Yeah? Someone want to

thing it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can do a thing. I'll do a thing. I can do. I fucking will.

If I were to ask you, both of you, I want you both to answer this. This is not a rhetorical question. Right. That was hard to say ridiculously. It was almost worth just saying it properly. This is not a rhetorical question.

Where do you think, and for what purpose, was the chainsaw invented? Where do we think and for what purpose? I suppose the latter part of the question made more grammatical sense than the first part. For what purpose was the chainsaw invented, Peter Austin? Well, I'm going to assume based on the question

that it wasn't invented by sort of lumberjacks or for chopping wood slash loges. So I'm going to say maybe it was invented by a butcher. for really just hacking up meat. Hacking away. In a horrible way. But I've no idea.

You're kind of right, Michael. Oh, I was going to say it was for hacking up meat, but of the alive kind. Oh, God. Oh, Mikey, I think you're a little closer there. Oh, really? Oh, is it surgical? Yes, unfortunately, it is. But it gets worse.

Oh, no. This is an article from babygaga.com, which is a real web, site, apparently. Right. The offspring of Lady Gaga, I suppose. Yes, yes, absolutely. This is from a couple of years ago now, but it doesn't change the historical fact. Fact in quote marks with probably a number of asterisks asking for more information. But chainsaws were originally invented for helping with childbirth. Oh my God. My God. That's way worse. Even if it was surgical or medical, I thought you were

going to say for amputations. I mean, that would definitely get the baby out. Jesus. In as many bits as you like. You're probably already clenching your knees together after reading the title, but yes, the chainsaw was originally invented to assist in childbirth. Before the common use of cesarean section, all babies had to be passed through the birth canal,

which certainly makes sense. But, as we know, sorry, babies can become obstructed in there if they are, it says, if they are breach or too large. Oh, this just gets worse by the word. When babies couldn't fit through, or get stuck in, or I should say, it should be got, really, or got stuck in the pelvis. I don't think they do this anymore. The cartilage and ligaments, and in extreme cases, the bone of the pelvic region, were removed to create more space for the baby. This is called a symphysiotomy, I think.

The procedure was originally performed by hand using a small knife and saw to cut through the cartilage of the pelvis. I'm reading this as if it's perfectly normal information and words. This is usually done under local anaesthesia and performed in the second stage of labour in order to open up the needed region. The recovery, however, is quite painful, and National Institutes of Health state that patients will be able to walk painfully, it says, after 2 to 14 days from the surgery. However, back in the 18th century, anaesthesia was not readily available, and medical knowledge wasn't as in-depth as it is now.

During that time, delivering babies could go wrong quickly, so doctors had to widen the pelvic area ASAP to save the mum and baby's lives, even if this meant cutting into the cartilage and bone. Now, if you're already squirming, we're just getting to the chainsaw part. Two doctors, John Aitken and James Jeffrey, invented the chainsaw in the 1780s to make the removal of pelvic bone easier and less time-consum. during childbirth. Can I just say the last name ate kin

for a doctor of babies is brilliant. It's good. It was powered by a hand crank and looked like a modern day kitchen knife with little teeth on a chain that wound in an oval. We're sure you're envisioning those loud things that can hack up trees in seconds,

but thankfully this one is a little bit less scary and looks more like a medical tool. It's fucking, do you want to see it? It's pretty fucking scary. It's pretty fucking scary. Can one of you boys put that in the link dump? it is. Pretty fucking scary. Oh, wow.

That's an interesting thing, isn't it? Okay, right. It looks like a gun. It looks like something from Bloodborn. Yeah. Well, blood borne, yes. It would be a bloody born. That's it. Still, anything with the word chainsaw, knife, saw or blade coming at your downstairs in a completely conscious surgery is terrifying.

And it says here is the first surgical chainsaw used for synphyseysiotomies. The chainsaw was soon used for other bone-cutting operations and amputations in the surgical room. It then evolved into a woodworking tool when people noticed how quickly and easily it was to get through, well, anything. It became larger and more powerful and eventually grew to be the monster we know today. Symphysiotomies are no longer performed because cesarean section procedures have been deemed safer. Critics of symphysiotomy, especially in Ireland, state that it has left women with lifelong pain and emotional trauma, understandably. However, it is still used in some cases depending on the position of the baby and the physiology of the mother. And there we are.

There you have it, the unexpected and super terrifying history of the chainsaw. Who would have known that the scariest power tool was originally intended for your most sensitive part? Shudder! Jesus. That's horrifying. I never want that anywhere near me and my child. I was genuinely surprised to find out that information. I just took it for granted that.

the chainsaw was, you know, a woodworking tool. Yeah, for cutting things that aren't people. Yeah, not people. Cutting not people. Thanks, baby Gaga. Yeah, thanks Baby Gaga. Thank you, Baby Gaga. Is that a website about childbirth and labour and stuff?

Baby Gaga. It being called Baby Gaga, because that seems like the worst. I know obviously they don't do it anymore, but it seems like the worst kind of image you want to give to expect. There's a lot of pictures of children, babies and pregnant women. So I'm going to say yes. Okay.

Do you have seven fun quizzes to predict when you have your first baby? Seven. Seven? That's a lot, isn't it? Some would say it's too many quizzes. That's a lot of quizzes. Can we quickly do one? Do we have time for that?

Yeah, what do you think, Peter? Yeah. We got time? Of course. Thanks, Peter. I'm going to click on one. We've got BuzzFeed's six question quiz Let's just do that one

That's six questions I don't think that answers it Pick a Oh fuck off Cookies Pick a baby animal Monkey Polar Bear

Goat rabbit Seal or pig I think Idiots would pick monkey right Yeah Oh yeah we should Yeah we all need to come to a consensus Don't we

Yeah I think monkey's good Okay via Getty images It says underneath If you had to pick One of these names For your future baby Which one would you choose Oh my God.

Severus, hashtag, felony, Forsyth, Lucifer, or Gertrude. It's got to be felony or Forsyth. I kind of think Forsyth, because I did not expect that to be an option there. Me neither. The hashtag. Yeah, let's give us Forsyth.

Okay, Forsyth. Pick a baby. There's just six pictures of babies. Okay. I'm starting to doubt the scientific validity of this. quiz. They are babies of different ethnic origins. Let's just pick a number from one to six. Four. Four, sure.

Okay, you pick the white one, you fucking racist. Oh, damn it. How many children do you want? I don't want kids. One, two, three, four or five tops? Or we'll see what happens. We'll see what happens. Yeah, just yeah, see how it goes. We could have unlimited babies in our vidiots army. That's more subscribers so yeah it's more subscribers also we can enter that competition to win that guy's fortune so hey there we go uh we'll see what happens if you had a baby how would you decorate their bedroom walls they're sort of bad clouds weird uh yellow green and red pattern sort of a pink rosy color in a

pattern uh oh it's hard to describe can we just go with the numbers again they're all shit which One to six, which one? Peter Ugoe this time. One. One. Okay. Finally, what do you think is the most important thing you can give to a child? Financial support, love, values, a belief system, a family or a sense of duty? Can we have a sense of duty because it has the word duty in it?

Yeah, that's good. That's funny. Very good. Okay. Oh, we'll reveal when you have your first term, best in the other. You got 31 years old. Oh. Wow.

Okay. That sort of tracks, I suppose. Yeah. A couple of years off, ish, thereabouts. Well, there we go. 31 years. How... What a shit website.

Okay. Oh, God. Someone spent time on that. It was translated from Spanish, apparently. Fantastic. Brilliant. Okay. Was it, Peter?

Was it brilliant? Oh, no, but only because I meant to say stupendous. It wasn't brilliant. Stop it. Even better than that. We've got a question here from Jarrod at Like a Glove 90, who says, Oh boy, it's lockdown. You're stuck in a small one-bedroom apartment.

Your bedroom is a decent size, and you have one comfortable queen-sized bed, and lockdown will be eight weeks. But from the VCU, who do you share your cell with? Now, we're always getting Vidiot's Cinematic Universe questions, but I thought we've never really had one like this. You know, you've got to share a bedroom with one member of the Vidiot's Cinematic Universe and share a bed with them for eight weeks. I don't, I mean, it's difficult. I certainly would not pick Psycho Seagull because he just vomits everywhere. No, absolutely not. Vengefully.

I'm leading. Does Grimmis count Are you going to eat Grimmis' McNuggies, Michael? Why do you want Grimmis? I don't know. For the sex? No! Oh, God.

I mean, well, I was just thinking it'd be fun to lie in those buns. It would be fun. You could have the bed, and Grimmis could just sleep on the floor, sort of on his own buns. That's true, true. I just think it'd be low maintenance. I think, yeah, big purple boy. Less space, though. Oh, true, true.

But, I mean, the space is filled so beautifully. Yeah. How long is it again? Eight weeks. Eight weeks. That's a lot of weeks. Oh, God, I don't know. Because they're all kind of terrible, aren't they?

They are. For eight weeks, they are. You know, I wouldn't want Dick because he's aggressive and scary. Don't think I'd want DPP necessarily, because I feel like, The novelty would wear off. You could sing your songs every day. He could. He could.

I mean, it's certainly, there's less, you know, if you just got used to living with your celebrity or member of the universe, that's less than it getting annoying. You know, if I got, if I came to terms of the fact that I was living with children's TV celebrity, Dave Benson Phillips, and after week three, I was like, oh, yeah, that's just Dave, my cellmate. You know, it could be worse. I could be covered in vomit or grimace buns or whatever. It'd be like living in her butlins. Yeah, so Dave is up there. Maybe Meatface, because then if you get peckish, you know, just tuck in. Oh, I couldn't live with myself if I ate meat face, destroyed that beautiful boy.

Jeff the Mungoose. Yeah, because you want to even see him. Pretty much have the place to myself, wouldn't I? Yeah, it's a good point. I need to alert you to unfamiliar dogs. See, I've always needed that. Yeah. Well, there we go.

I guess we've already... I've fucking solved it, man. Smashed it. We're really getting through these questions. Mighty. Aye. What have you got for us? You got for your T, son?

It's actually quite closely related to the previous tweet like. Oh, no. Okay. So I'm just going to send across a little screenshot for you, is all right? Okay. So, Vidyat's always on the ball. Up to date with the latest trends. Oh, yeah.

I thought we'd do a tier list. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. Look at that. Look at it. Why there are two... Oh, there's two of a couple of them. Bobby Babylonies.

There's two Bobby Babel. Oh, there's two Lorraine's as well. Ignore of that. Two Lorraine's from the London area. I forgot about Lorraine. No, not her. Anyone but her. So in front of us, we have, I believe, 16 rankable members of the Vidiates extended

cinematic universes. This isn't all them, of course, because that we've, be here all night, otherwise. And on the left hand of the screen, we've got ranking. So it starts with Boppis as the tippy topis of the, of, oh, she has said topis rather Boppas. Oh, no. Boppas is up.

I think that's a good word still. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, fair. And it goes A, B, C, D and the bottom of the pile is Bumpus. And we're going to, so this isn't a, you know, a fight where only one survives. This is just a critical look at the Vidyat's family. Oh, I want to put them all in the Bopis. Yeah, I know.

So it depends sort of what... So for example, right, the first one there on the screenshot is Neil Bucannon. And I love Neil Bucannon and I'll always love Neil Bucannon, even when it turns out that he was probably like doing bad things in the 70s or something. And then you have to like him quietly. I'm not probably... I'm sure I won't. Yeah, I'll continue to like him quietly. So I would want to put him in Boppis because I think he's just the best.

However, Neil Buchanan isn't necessarily, you know, he's not like meatface tier VCU. So I guess it's just... There's got to be the wow factor. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess we just have to kind of take everything into account. It's not just how much you like the person. Yeah, they're importance to the universe. Yeah.

Yeah, there we go. Okay, so we'll start with Neil Buchanan, who... Well, Neil's masterpiece, that was a good. Good video on Vidiates, wasn't it? I think Neil just lovely bloke, multi-talented. Mm-hmm. We did the cartoon, the cartoon thing, the cartoon creator with the control splat.

We've done... Haven't we played something else? Neil Bukin-related. No, we haven't. No, we played that twice. Oh, it was a poddy. Yeah, we definitely said we'd fuck him, I think, on a poddy. Oh, right, okay, yeah.

Sorry, Neil. We talked about his music as well. Yeah, of course. He brought us the head. He's not Banksy. know that. I think he's good, but I don't think he's quite A tier. Yeah, I think he's B. I think he's B for beautiful. B for Buchanan, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. B for Buchanan. I think that's why he sits nicely. I wouldn't feel bad about that. Okay. Okay. Next up, we've got Stephen Seagull.

Stephen Seagull, is it? Is it an interesting one? He's a natural physical, he exists in art, well, in the videos as well. He's a physically manifested character. He's actually one of the oldest friends we've got. I think he came after Billy. Yeah. We've nearly lost his Russian passport so many times. Yeah. Oh yeah.

It's a miracle. That's still around. I know. I think he came. He was posted to what culture back in like early worst games days. Oh, so he's got a legacy. He has, yeah. But is he sexy enough?

I haven't seen him for a while, though. Well, yeah, he's definitely sexy. There's no doubt about that. Oh, God. I don't know. We don't really talk about him on Ville. idiots though anymore you know no no he's psycho seagull but not stephen so yeah i think more like c i don't think he's as good as neil he's a seagull yeah he is is that going to be all of them

just whichever one they fit into loosely letters wide next enough is deep deep face deep face or it gives you bum piss if you eat it maybe me face for me has to be boppers tier meatface is just Yeah. One of the greatest things that's ever happened in videos. Yeah, I agree. Just looking at the picture. It's astonishingly good.

I look that someone did that at the factory with sausage meat. And it's on a t-shirt that we sell. Yeah. That's true. It's, yeah, it's been manifested into merch as well. So, and, yeah, I think it has to be Boppas to you. Any objections? No, I'm happy with Boppis.

Boppas he is. Yeah. Now we go for the classic Jeff the Mungoose. He's from an older Podiot's character, isn't he? Yeah, we've Quite a fun one We talk about him quite a lot

I think he's up there I really do I really do think he's right up there I don't think he's Bopis for me though Because while he's a He's a regular fixture And I want him here all the time I don't know

I don't look at Jeff I mean I can't Because he's invisible But I don't look at the rendering of Jeff there and get quite the same amount of enjoyment as I do out of looking at meatface, which is just making me smile.

Yeah, I agree. Obviously, there's still room in, you know, we're going to have to have multiple people in certain tiers. So I still think on balance, personally, I think he's still Boppis, but I agree that he's less than Meatface, but I still think Bopis overall.

Okay, I think I'm happy with Boppis. That's fair, that's fair. I mean, I think he's elevated slightly by the Jeff that was made by a fan, which is, hands down, still one of my favourite submissions ever. It's a work of art. Yeah, big time. I've still got that. It's in my cupboard in this very room.

Now we move on to Barbara Piss, who is definitely, she moved along into Triple Jump with you. She's arguably had a better life in Triple Jump and she didn't video. She's had a long life. Better afterlife. We've had lots of Babs merch as well. I'll say lots of one show. One shirt. We've had, you know, we've made some money off Babs. Yeah. She, she continues to be a fixture of my weekly streams.

Not really a fixture of poddiet's though. No. True. Not quite. She just appears as a character, much like the others that have come before, you know, that we, that we reference. But I don't know that she's, I don't know. Like, obviously, she's my child, so I feel very strongly about her. But playing devil's advocate, you know, I think she's. important to the Vidyat Cinematic Universe, but in a poddy it's sense, she doesn't get brought up that much.

No. That's true. That's true. Maybe A for that reason then. Yeah. If this was sort of including the triple jump wider universe as well, the multiverse. Yeah. She would be Boppas for sure.

Yeah. There you go. Right under Meatface, she looks beautiful. She's got the meat face. Dick Machinko, the man, the myth, the legend. Boppist here. There's no... He is a bop his boy, isn't he?

Peter, any objections to that? No, he's got to be, because he would kill us if we didn't. He's right here. He's looking at me furiously, as he always does. Just sat on Batman's shoulder. Did Dick Machenko actually appear... Do you remember when everyone was raiding Area 51? Yes, he did.

And I think I was in the Triple Jump offices and we found that he was going to be speaking there. Did he actually do it? Yeah, I think he did, yeah. I don't know if the talk is online, but he was definitely making a guest appearance at some event during that area a 51 raid in 2019.

So he's a man of many talents. He's got his fingers in all the alien pies. Here's a fun thing about Dick Mijinco that Peter and I discovered is that the most physically impressive photo of him that exists online is fake. Yeah. If you Google Dick Mijinko, there's a photo of this jacked dude with massive arms. Yeah. But if you look at the head, it doesn't match any of the other Dick Mijinkos with that

facial hair and sort of age to. them. He's sort of been a, he's been an old man for a long time and I don't think he ever, ever looked like that. Oh, wow. So he's a liar, but he's our liar. He's our liar. Okay, beautiful. Brian Butterfield. Could he be anything but Boppas? Well, yeah, I was going to say, I really want to put him in Boppas, even though we've done a lot of Boppas already, but I think he has to be up there. I agree. Well, we could always do a really, shuffling if it gets to like you know things have been a bit tricky i'll send an updated screenshot how the how the rankings are looking but i just think the amount of times he's referenced

yeah the voice he's a boppist man he's a boppist man i'm gonna cheggis tweet out the oh my god i'm going to tweet out the the basic non-filled in ranked yeah cool so people can see oh dear cheggers is next yeah d oh d he's not quite bum-pice fair enough i do i do He got his knob out in the jungle I feel like all we've done is laugh at him you know after he died His game was shit His game was shit

Oh I've been Cheggers Sorry but Ready Got Milo Up next Milo is like From the Vidiots year that we had

Before Remember when Vidiots ended It didn't change it ended It did end I think at the time He was like he was top tier stuff but mylo now i'm not saying you know he's he's like down near the bumpus end but i don't think he's top tier anymore personally i think he was a smash hit when it happened

but yeah he hasn't had the he hasn't had the staying power yeah that's it i would argue i would argue he was a sea boy yeah yeah i think so oh poor my from one purple boy to another we move on to I forgot in his name I just said it. Grimmis, you want to share a bedroom with him for a month, Mike. Sorry, Grim, I love you. He's okay.

Grimmis, manifested in a birthday cake. We've all eaten dem mucknookies. I think beefer buns, be for birthday. Yeah, you've got to get them buns, hon. Mid to top tier, but not quite boppis. How happy were you been to receive that cake? Really thrilled because, yeah, I always, He asked me, you know, a lot if I was craving his McNuggies.

And, of course, I would never, I never say anything so as to not ruin the dynamic of the relationship. But you just took care of all of that for me, like good friends, you know. That's what good friends do. I think, I think B's fair. Next up is Scandal Penguin, another actual... Oh, is that who it is? Yeah. Oh, is it?

I thought you were just going to say Feathers McGraw. Yeah. That's the scandal. It's the closest thing I could find to, like, a representation of Scandal Penguin. Scandal Penguin is good Yeah I still like Scandal Penguin There's another fairly old one

But I don't know Part of me Because we don't really say Scandal Penguin anymore We do still say Scandal Pending Which is obviously

Where Scandal Penguins Came from I feel like Because C seems pretty low But I would I would put Scandal Penguin On a similar level To Stephen Seagull

In terms of I haven't seen it For nearly a year now Because we've been at home Yeah Yeah Oh bless You're right

I think I'd agree. Sorry, Mr. S. Penguin. Michael Juggson. Boppas. He couldn't be anything but Boppas. We did Michael Juggson impressions when we first spoke to each other earlier before we started recording.

Involuntarily. Somehow, this weird video of a drugged-up northern man has had the staying power beyond many a celebrities. Yeah. I think alongside Meatface, Michael Jugson, is my top vidiots meme, I think, me, me. MVP. Yeah.

He's just the best. Dave Benson Phillips. Oh, I mean, he's also one of those, though, isn't he? I think he is, yeah. He's, yeah, I mean, I'm almost slightly scared of Dave Benson Phillips, but I don't know if that's a downside. There's always a bit of me that's scared that if he sees me in public, he might, might hurt me. Just leave him out of it.

Just leave him out of it. I'm sorry. I remember he tweeted us out of the blue, like earlier this year. Just like, hey, I'm doing this thing soon. And we're like, oh, best of luck with it, Dave. And then got, you know, he's never tweeted us again. I don't know if he still follows us, actually. Oh. Fucking better.

Dave Benson. Actually, oh, he follows us. So I think for that. Keep him in Bob his team. otherwise he would have been eight or bum piss maybe yeah if you didn't follow us that would be an instant bum piss

okay next on the line-up there's only a few left is Uncle Fatty someone who I brought along is a story but I just love a lot I think he's great he was the fat McCork who

McCork is that you pronounce it McCauley McCorkin yeah McCauley McCorkin he's the fat monkey who stole a lot of foods and then got taken to weight loss centre and escaped and was never found again. Yeah.

Definitely, I will argue, he's not had the last, he's the staying power. Yeah, that's the sad thing about him. I think he could still go in like A or B because I really like Uncle Fatty, but he's just not.

It's just fun. Yeah, just that picture. Yeah, the picture, he is phenomenal. Look at him. I mean, how could you not want, I can't even, the photo's so small. I can't really pick out any specific features

He's just a circle A head and then a shape He's just a big furry circle But yeah I think the lack of staying power again I would put him on a bookekes A Neil Buchakekekekekeke or a Jeff tier I'm agreeing he's a B-boy

Big boy Rules Boss Oh rules boss Again rules boss hasn't really stuck around in Vidiates land No Very much a triple jump property now that's true

yeah I think he couldn't be moonlighting you can only have one job at a time he's a busy man barely do one job really yeah yeah I think as as a potty it's

fiddyits poddyets character I think he's almost down to kind of sea level now below sea level he's not below sea level but you know climates are changing and he's maybe one of the first

to be lost beneath the waves I'm happy with sea level I can go for sea yeah I'm just going to put him right above our friend Cheggers so it looks like he's wearing the rules boss hat there it's delightful billy ray walrus bumpus bumpus bumpus wait sorry get him out of here oh he's awful no boss is there a level above boppis yeah i think he needs his own he shouldn't really be it's not really fair for him to run in this yeah fair enough i'll i'll create a special tier

the Billy tier. Okay, just on his own. I've done, Billy. Okay, we're down to the final two. Bobby Babaluni. She still gets brought up a lot. She does. She does still get brought up a lot.

And I just, I think I sent this to you guys a while ago, but her website is the best thing in the world. I'll just send it over again to remind you. But she actually has a website where she showcases her work, babaluni.com. And it's all. forward slash twisted creations oh my god oh the sponge bob oh it says load failed at first while they slowly load in okay i'm just going to tweet the sponge bob because it i mean am i breaking any rules here because it's technically it's her you know it's her stuff i'm going to tweet it yeah go on go on and i like that

i think she's quite pun friendly as well i think yeah true you know it's sort of sometimes there's a bit of a dry spell where we don't have a lot of Babylonie action but then out of nowhere someone will be talking about baboons and someone will say more like Bobby Bababoonie or whatever and it will fall about laughing won't we we will fall about laughing

every time I think it's important to remember our past is Bobby Babylonie is a foundation of Pontiac. First episode no yeah first proper episode I think Can I read you some of these names of her balloon creations? Are they legally different? Oh, they're very legally different.

Yeah, so there's Cookie Monster. It's called Me Want Cookie. The Little Mermaid is called Mermaid Beauty. There's Sponge Dude. Elmo is called Red Monster, Not. Yeah, I've just seen that. Mike. Mike was asking.

He's just called, Are you scared now? What is it? Lightning McQueen is just called race car Yeah What? There's a What I'm guessing is supposed to be a giraffe But it just looks like a sheep It's called I'm very tall

But it's not a giraffe It doesn't look anything like one I only know it's meant to be one Because it's called I'm very tall What is the name giraffe Copyright protected or something Yeah Oh god

Spider-Man's called Webster Hat. Webster hat. There's an octopus here called Octoloon. Oh, my God. Oh, Santa Stick is a good one. There's one that looks like a sort of brown squid on a tree, but I know it's meant to be a monkey because it's just called, I love bananas.

Which is just great. That's amazing. Okay, I didn't mean to twist anything to was Bobby Babaluni there, but I think she's... I'll see what you did there. That's good. That's good. She is an important character. I don't think

Bobpice, though. She's not Bobpice material. Yeah, I could go for A. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. And lastly, Lorraine from the London area. We don't have a single bum piss. And the thing is, Lorraine has brought us so much joy.

But she's also a terrible character, some strange sad person plays online for some reason. And the way they play her is with no remorse. Like they, you know, some people who have characters on the internet, they will still pick their battles or like, you know, they won't be too mean to people who don't understand.

But Lorraine from the London area goes after people who don't get that Lorraine is not a real person. You know, for a time the Yogs cast, I think, yeah. Kind of didn't know at first whether she was real or not or not. because she doesn't even, she's not like, you know, she's not like Peter Mollardew on Twitter who says like, my cutting edge idea for the PS5 is I'm going to keep loading times because they show how cutting edge the game must be for it to take so long to load,

you know, things like that. Whereas Lorraine sometimes came across as a bit sinister. Yeah, that's the thing. Lorraine started off as quite a fun and a central account. And if you check it now, it's, it's, I think the word is clout chasing. They're just trying to get a. rise out of anyone by just being a horrible horrible person and it's it's it's actually quite tiresome to keep following them but i still do still do for science the one the consolation is that she's

called lorraine from the london area and every time i hear that it's still funny so but maybe because bum piss is empty we should just bump piss Lorraine yeah i agree i think if if if if if things stayed as they were with you know trying to sell the sun's hamster online. Should be a bit higher. But, Lorraine, you've ruined it for everyone. You're getting in bumpice. Yeah.

Sorry. I hope you're still enjoying collecting Vectris or whatever it was. Perjos. Perjos. I'm just looking now. I'm trying to find her shop again, see what she's got going on. Oh, hold there. Yeah.

Lorraine right now is just kind of like throwing tweets towards anyone with a following in the hopes that they get a rise. Is it just, oh, you lefties, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, trying too hard, Lorraine. Yeah, sorry Lorraine, but you ruined it. And there we have it. There's our tier list. I'll quickly run through who's in what area.

So Billy has his own supreme ranking, our supreme leader of Vidyots and Triple Jump. And Boppas, we got Mepheus, Dick. Oh, my God, his name. I can't remember his name. Grimmis. Brian, Brian. Oh, Brian.

My goodness, Mikey. Sorry, I just, my brain collapsed there. I've got Michael Jugsson and Dave Benson Phillips. A is Barbara Piss and Bobby Babaluni. B is Buchanan, Jeff, Grimmis and Uncle Fatty. C. C is Rules Boss, Stephen Seagull, Milo and Scandal Penguin. D is Cheggers and Bumpus is Lorraine.

I feel quite happy with that. What a journey. enjoyed that yeah thank you michael that's all right i'm glad we got answering asking the real questions yeah i hope you're going to make that to your list available to everyone uh when when the podcast goes out can you do that can you like make a URL for it i'll figure something out or people can make their own i guess based on oh actually yeah i can yeah i can share the link to it so you can make your own if you disagreed with us let us know that is now good uh we've got a question here from Paul at Paul Zaremba, 16, who says,

2020 is dead. You boys and girls, or girls and boys, have stopped everything evil that was this one year. The pandemic, politics, the Avengers video game, and so on. We've done it. We've killed it. We've killed 2020. Congratulations. How do you celebrate off to the pub, quiet night in, a long weekend? Okay, love you, bye. Thank you, Paul.

Thank you, Paul. So this isn't necessarily a question. of how do you celebrate things you know in your own you know under normal circumstances because I'm I'm a fairly quiet night in kind of guy but I think if tomorrow we woke up and the news said 2020 never happened welcome to 2019 I would want to go for like a big a big night out and I'm not one for nights out but you know I miss it yeah I was thinking the same thing like just being drunk in a dark room with loud music is it's something you can try and replicate at home but it just ends being really sad and miserable.

Yeah. And believe us, we've tried. Oh, man, what about the mice? Have you tried it with the mice yet? Oh, maybe actually, no. We'll put a little party hats out. I guess that's all you need is more numbers. It'd be a bit sad if you're in a club.

Exactly. We'll just get some, just make somebody with people. I hasten to add, of course, of course, that, you know, whenever, if and when there's some sort of major breakthrough with coronavirus, that doesn't mean we can all just go to a club the next day. Needless to say, it's not going to go away overnight. any point, even when a vaccine gets released, and even when they've vaccinated more than half the population, it's not going to go away, going to sleep one night and wake up in the morning

and it's gone. But, you know, just a PSA, this is all fantasy. If we woke up tomorrow and it had never happened, this is what we would do. I was thinking about having a quiet night in, but then I realized, oh, you fucking idiot, that's exactly what you've been doing every night for eight months um yeah i think i'd probably go out to get all the boys together from work and just go go out and get drunk yeah and then drink loads and then in a in a weird move right intentionally sort of give myself a hangover in that i won't eat when i get back in i'll just get into bed and go to sleep and then i i i sort of like setting myself up for failure in that fashion so I can have the

much beloved but rarely enjoyed and definitely not these days enjoyed hung over bed takeaway. Yeah. The following day. That's how I would go about it. Intentionally poisoned myself with alcohol to the point that I'm uncomfortable

the next day, yeah, and then soothe myself with grease. Sounds excellent. In addition to the drunk night out, I'd just be shaking everybody's hand. I'd lick. I'm going to lick everything just

yeah toilet seat licked it bam this would be it would be a night of germs I mean

we've just we've gotten rid of Corona but not the other ones but yeah I'm still

going to celebrate in style we're all going to come down with flu for sure but never mind

that's all right yeah beautiful right I've still got a thing to do would you believe let's go

Peter tell us let's do it so oh god where is it now I had it

open before. Oh, beans. Here it is. I've got it. Right. So, in fact, let me give me a bit of background. There is a Wikipedia, this is a weird-competia, sort of. There's a Wikipedia page

called fearsome critters. And in North American folklore, fearsome critters were tall-tale animals jokingly said to inhabit the wilderness in or around logging camps, especially in the Great Lakes region.

Today, the term may also be applied to similar fabulous beasts, for example. So it's kind of a joke that you would tell either to your friends as a laugh, or they're the kind of thing that people would tell tourists about as though they really existed. So don't know if you've heard of drop bears in Australia. Okay. Which are a kind of really aggressive, monstrous kind of koala that sits in a tree, and if you walk underneath it, it will drop down and, like, attack.

you and they tell I think they tell tourists about it as a joke and likewise apparently some people in Scotland like to tell sort of Americans and Europeans that oh if you if you go into those woods on a walk tomorrow you might see um they've got wild haggis up there so if you if you keep your eyes out you might see one um so that's what we're dealing with here now I've got uh there's a whole list of them on Wikipedia I've picked some and I've also made up three of them and I want you to try and spot the three false ones because they're all very silly and it might be difficult to separate the silly from the fake.

Well, they're all fictional, obviously, but here we go. So these were all tales told around campfires in logging areas in America in, I guess, the sort of 1800s. Citation needed, early 1900s. Yeah. So we've got the Axe Hux handle hound. It reputedly subsisted on axe handles left unattended. It's mentioned in a book of imaginary

beings. Okay. Okay. What a terrifying beast. It would eat your axe handles. Uh, we've got the come and go, which is a double-sided hair whose two heads occasionally fight with each other when they can't agree on which direction to go. Okay. There's the Dungavvy. Avan hooter, a crocodile creature with no mouth, instead having huge nostrils. It uses its tail to pound loggers into gas, which it then inhales for sustenance. Wow! That's a lot of pounding. It beats you into a cloud form.

Should I just go through them all first, and then you can decide afterwards? Yeah, go for it. We continue with the gumbaroo, a rare hairless bear-like creature with skin that's not. nearly invulnerable, repelling all attacks except fire, which will cause the gumbaroo to combust in a massive explosion. That is the exact wording I've got here. We've got the Not a Cough, a Honey Badger-like creature, which dare not cough. As it will be perfectly turned inside out and die instantly.

That's two violent deaths in a row we've just had, actually. There's the side hill gouger, a bee-and-law. Legged for hill sides, having legs one side taller than the other, thus always travelling in a circular path. Oh, I like that. There's the squank, which is the most melancholic of creatures. Because of its deformed countenance, it refuses contact with all life and will dissolve in its own tears if ever gazed upon. Oh, no. It's sad, isn't it?

Yeah. Gilly-gilloo bird A bird that lays square eggs So they do not roll Oh, that's be smart Come on, evolution, get at it Yeah The goofus bird

A backwards flying bird That builds its nests upside down The fur-bearing trout A species of trout Which grows a thick coat of fur For warmth in its cold climate Cute The hoop snake

A snake which bites its tail To enable it to roll like a wheel and the syrup bee, a variety of bee that, instead of honey, makes syrup inside maple tree trunks. Oh, wow. There you go. So, can run through them all again, one more time,

and if you want to call out any of them that sound fake, then please do. There's the axe handle hound, the one that eats axe handles left unattended. I'm feeling true because it's a cautionary tale. I feel like I could see that being. tall of I don't leave

the axe's lying around yeah it's true oh that one is mentioned in George

Lewis Borges's book of imaginary beings apparently that's a real one

nice does the come and go double sided hair with two heads they'll occasionally

fight with each other if they can't agree on which direction to go I'm unsure

about this one for some reason I'm leaning towards faith yeah the the name

makes it sounds sort of like a Pokemon almost it does isn't it?

Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. You can wait if you want to we get to the end. Okay. I'll make a note of the come and go. Come and go, yeah.

The Dungaven Hooter, the crocodile with no mouth that smashes people into gas form and then it inhales them for sustenance. I think that's true. Yeah, wouldn't that be true? Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. The gumberoo, the hairless bear with skin. that's nearly invulnerable but if you set fire to it it dies in a massive explosion I'm going to say that one's fake that is true it's the exact wording of Wikipedia

oh god it's so detailed it is isn't it yeah the not a cough a honey badger like creature which dare not cough as it will be perfectly turned inside out

and die instantly so it just coughs its inner to outence I suppose all of these sound fake I know it's really hard They do don't they Only three of them Are made up

I'm trying to picture a scenario Where someone would like say this And I'm leaning towards fake Because it just Imagine saying that to someone And keeping a straight face Some of the ones

I mean they're all ridiculous But I just A coughing honey badger was it Yeah Yeah Well it doesn't cough Otherwise it goes inside out Yes

Yes I'm gonna go I'm gonna go fake Oh, you're two for two, Mikey. That's also a nice one. Boy. Well done. Here we go. The side hill gouger. A beast legged for hillsides, having legs one side taller than the other. Thus, always traveling in a circular path. That just sounds like the, sounds like the haggis myth. You know, whether... But is that true or false, though, is the question?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know if you've lifted it from another one and made your own. I'm going to say it's fake. That one's real in the sense that it's one that they talked about. The squank, the most melancholic of creatures, because of its deformed countenance, it refuses contact with all life and will dissolve in its own tears if ever gazed upon. Oh. So sad.

Don't want that one to be true. I'm going to say true. It's true. Oof. The gilly-gilloo bird that lays square eggs so they don't roll away. That's fake. Oh, I'm going true for that one. Oh, that's true as well.

Oh, damn it, I'm really bad at this. The goofus bird, a backwards flying bird that built its nest is upside down. That sounds so ridiculous. They all are, but just something about, oh, this bird is so backwards, that does everything backwards. That one's fake. It's true. Oh, for fuck's sake.

The law of averages, I've got to get one right. Yeah. Just keep saying fake. We're still looking for two fake ones, I think. We've only identified one fake one so far. There's the fur-bearing trout, a species of trout, which grows a thick coat of fur for the cold climate. Well, that's fake.

That's true. I'm just going to say it with increasing levels of confidence until it happens. The hoop snake, which bites its tail to roll like a wheel. True. I want that be true. Ben, what do you think? That's fake, isn't it? It's true. which if you've really been doing the maths

means we've only got two left and they must therefore both be fake. So we've got the syrup B, which is a variety of B that makes syrup inside maple trees. That's true. That is true. No, it's not. It's fake.

And the other fake one, if we go back, was indeed the come and go. Oh, okay. The come and go is indeed a bit Pokemon. onish really. It's a double-sided hair that fights with amazing. With itself. So there we go. It sounds almost

true. I feel like that could be something that would be true, but you've done us. You've done us, Peter. You've really got us. Thank you, Peter. Thank you. You're welcome. I hope you enjoyed those. It did. There were way more as well, but I just left out the ones that were less exciting.

We've got a final question. Trish the dish at I will lie awake on Twitter. asks, is there anything on the internet you wish you could unsee? Hmm. Oh, plenty of things. Yes. God, what is a, you know, what is something that I can even say? Oh, God, there's one thing I found on the internet, well, it's on Reddit.

It's, um, uh, what is it if, it's the feeding fetish where you want people to get really big. But there's, there's a subreddit of like people who are in the community. And I really hope it's all fantasy because, like, these are, like, oh, it's just terrifying. The way people talk, like, oh, I want someone to be so big and so fat that they're, they're totally used to say he's just human. I'd find such pleasure in watching this blob, just shovel food into its mouth. And, like, it's just post after post after post after post, like, does these horrible, horrible things. Like, it's not the most visually disgusting, but it's kind of sent chills down my spine.

Yeah. And I need to remember the name of the subreddit because it's just downright terrifying and it's kind of stuck with me a bit. Horrible. Yeah, that sounds awful. Oh, that and the video of two Japanese ladies vomiting onto other that my cousin showed me when I was eight. Oh, nice. That was honestly, that was going to be my exact thing that I was going to say, which is because I, fortunately for me, I don't think I've ever actually. seen blue waffle. Oh.

So there's lots of shock, you know, there's all the shock sites and stuff. And I've seen I've seen Lemon Party. I don't know if I ever saw meat spin, but I didn't see Blue Waffle, but what I did see was, what I think is probably

the one you're talking about, Michael. The URL used to be like eat your soup.com or dot-oh, that's, oh, that means crazy. J.P. or whatever. And, yeah, it was, it was in this really nice, like, white room, if I remember rightly. It was like in a studio, like a, it looked like a photo studio, you know, like white box rooms where you have

like family photos and stuff. That's my memory of it anyway. But yeah, there was this girl, like, lying down on the floor and they were just like being sick on her face, like really close up, just the worst. But I think the fact that I, I think it kind of says at all that I remember that it was called eat your soup or eat my soup that was just the worst thing. I'm really glad I was going to have dinner after. Yeah. So that's good. So that's mine, the one with the people being sick on each other.

I say the one, as though there's not probably like 50 videos like that on the internet. Yeah, that's the thing. I could pick another disgusting video quite easily, I think. But instead, I'm going to go for the first piece of internet media that properly scarred me from albinobinoblachiepe.com. and it was an animal like my friend put it on for me and said watch this watch this with headphones on and it was

it was the like spooky ambient music and I think I've discussed this with you before Peter I don't think I've talked about it on here before where it was the Lord's Prayer recited backwards which is really spooky and then at the end it was just the usual like what we've come to expect from like traditional jump scare trash videos

where it was just loud like a really loud noise sort of a screaming noise and then a close-up of a scary zombie lady face and oh my god fucking ruined me absolutely destroyed me so uh were you already did you find it scary that the lord's prayer was being said backwards or did that not bother you as oh no i was i was really unnerved but i was like why am i why is he showing me this like okay this is this isn't so scary yeah and then it's it and that was me done so could could have done without that i think Brilliant.

Wow. My perennial jump scare. There's lots that we'd rather forget. And there's probably a lot more than we could actually say if we really sat down and made a list. Absolutely. There's plenty. I've seen videos of people actually dying on the internet and stuff.

Like getting hit by cars and shot. It's good stuff. It's great. The internet's amazing, isn't it? Great. There we go. That's the end of the podcast. Incredible Peter.

Thank you for bringing along those questions. You're welcome. It was a big one today, wasn't it? It's a really big one. It feels like it anyway. Thank you to everybody who's listened and who has submitted questions as well. We really appreciate it. If you go to store.orgscast.com, there's some merchandise there, right, Michael?

Oh, damn right. If you go to store.orgast... You just said that. I don't need it to the year old again. If you go to that website and you mosey on over to the video section, you'll find some beautiful video merch. And as you mentioned before, we've got our three of the three, three, we've got a T-shirt. Oh, God, I'm getting my words out right now, aren't I? There's a lovely T-shirt of Podiat's Legends, and three of those four were on the tier list. Psycho Seagull, sadly I didn't put on the tier list.

But if you want to see Meatface, Jeff, the Talking Mungus and Bobby Babylonie creation on a T-shirt, you can go over there. And the best thing, if you use code Vidiots at checkout, right, you'll get 10. 10% off. No. Not just on our stuff. What? Everything. Wow.

And absolutely everything on the Yachta. Just use Godfitties to check out and you'll get 10% off everything on the Yogcast store. Wow. Amazing. Thank you, Michael. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash vidiots official. Twitch.tv.TV forward slash vidiots official. We do some streams there sometimes.

I know last week I said, well last. episode, oh my friend Ben might be coming up and then we can, uh, it's lockdown too. Uh, he is due to come up after the end of lockdown, but who fucking knows what's going to happen. Either way, Twitch.tv.4.com forward slash vidiates official. If you go there, sign up, click follow. You'll be notified when we go live. Not that we, you know, won't post it on social media anyway, but you go do that. Why not? I'm not. Streamlamps.com forward slash potty its donations with an ass on the end. Donate three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show and join Pod Squad.

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Oh. Oh, no, it's Ford Wendy. I'm not entirely sure. My apologies if I got that wrong earlier. Vidyots is changing. The very generous Peter gets hit by a truck. The even more generous, while. Mr Macca, Fintrista PLC, very, very generous, Matt 66727 is Ben Fast yet 2020, the CG, hashtag make Ben Fast in 2020, and Axel's Alive 95. Thank you so much, everybody. You are incredible and your generosity means the world to us. So thank you so much. Once again, streamlabs.com forward slash potty, its donations, £3 or more if you would like to join. Pod Squad, Mikey, where can people find you?

Best place to find me is at Paraboy on Twitter, where I post things that happen in my life occasionally. That's also where you'll find updates on when I'm streaming as well as on the video. It's Twitter. I haven't streamed too much recently, but I will be getting back into it soon. I promise. Nice. Peter, where can people find us? They can find us everywhere that's worth being at Team Triple Jump.

We're on YouTube and Twitch and Twitter and Facebook. YouTube and Twitch, of course, is where we're doing all of our content. We stream three times a week, soon to be four times. a week actually. And also we make videos that may be familiar to you, such as rules boss stuff and cooking and worst games ever and lots of other things. Some of them we don't do right now because of the situation. But, you know, there's a bad catalogue, so go check those out. Absolutely. Finally, leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice. It helps something to do with Al Gore rhythms or Al Gore's rhythms, whichever you prefer, I suppose.

That's all. Do we have a final question? oh no okay all right thanks everyone do the video it's tier list do the tier list yeah it'll be available on Twitter or YouTube or something it's already in the link it's already in the tweet thread

so you can just do that do it try yourself and send it to us and we want to see it cool all right well thanks so much for doing the podcast guys oh cheers for having us you're welcome you can't do

that you sounds like okay see you next time everybody bye bye