Podiots - Podiots: Episode 66 - Bangers & Mash Face

Episode Date: December 1, 2020

Peter cooks up a new and improved Meat Face, Mikey ruins Christmas, and Ben may (or may not) have been reading The Onion. Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord   Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Where's your playlist taking you? Down the highway, to the mountains, or just into daydream mode while you're stuck in traffic. With over 4,000 hotels worldwide, Best Western is there to help you make the most of your getaway. Wherever that is, because the only thing better than a great playlist

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brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, leased a 2026 X-E-90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event Conditions Apply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Oh, I've just got back from Aldi, lads.

No, you haven't. On an Aldi shop today. Big day. Big day. We normally go to ASDA just around the corner. What weird off-brand European goodies did you get? Oh, we got... That's the thing, isn't it?

You know, most of it is like, you can't really taste the difference, but we got some hobnobbs that were called Oatie Crumblies or something, which just kind of sounds like if I open the packet, it's already going to be crumbs, doesn't it? The selling point is this has no structural integrity, so buy these. Oh man. I'm a big fan of Aldi. It's a special place, isn't it?

You could spend hours just going up and down the aisles basking in the glory of all the names. In those Middle Isles with the special buys. I think some of them even have like the role. merchandise now. They've got like Aldi branded shoes and stuff you can buy. Wow. I've been... What's the USP of those beyond them saying Aldi? Is it just that they're cheap?

Just straight swag, I guess. That's it. I've been dying to go to Aldi recently because Claudia shared a Facebook post for me the other week and I just read it. I was like, man, I haven't been Aldi in so long and this is the reason why I need to go back to Aldi. So get ready. This is from a

Facebook group called Overheard in Aldi. I didn't overhear this But I saw I saw with my eyes In Bedminster Bristol The class used to place is So you know you're in for a treat

It's all right used to live Oh yeah It's you can attest It's delightful isn't it Well Maybe you ran into this man in your time there A man in his late 50s Early 60s

Very tall and muscular He was very He was in front of me And he had Lycra on His leggings were white And pretty seethru I could see through I could see his ass crack

But oh wait That's not all Anyway A little while later I turned into an aisle And was face to face With this lovely Lovely

Aging man I swear down It looked like he had an arm In his pants Oh God You could see veins And everything Wow

That is detail The HD that you don't want Life's HD Oh dear, I've got to see those veins in full, full res. I bent over the freezer and cried tears of laughter. I could hear other people whispering and people were nudging each other and basking in the glory of this bloke's mahusive manhood. The poor girl that served him was beetroot red.

What a beast. And it finishes on the, um, uh, the, the, the aubergine emo emoji. Yeah. Yeah, we go. So that's it. That's why mum's got to Aldi. Wow. Just to look at that.

man. Just to look at big donks. And let's get this straight. Or not straight, I suppose. That's why you want to go to Aldi. Oh, that's the only reason. Beyond the crumbly-wumblys, whatever they were. Crumbble-wumbles, yeah.

I get knocked down. What were they called? The O-T-chumble-wumbullies. What's the weirdest thing you've bought just on a whim from the middle aisle? Oh, my God. I don't know. Because I got something of ridiculous. ones.

Oh, yeah. I saw it. And you know, this is literally the thought process that goes through everyone's head whenever they buy anything from the Aldi Middle Iowa. You see it and you think, wow, that's a very specific thing that I need. And I will definitely use that. It was a, it was like a weird metal, it looked like an acme trap that you would see on a cartoon to catch Bugs Bunny or Roadrunner or whatever.

Right. But it was for scraps of paper. and you would put it in there and you would clamp it down and it would condense your shredded paper into useful bricks of paper mass so you could put them in fireplaces and stuff. I thought that would be

that would be perfect for my parents. What a great present. And I took it home all excitedly. I was like, it's only £5. I'm sure it's really good and I've never seen it again. Oh, sorry to hear that. Amy nearly bought a bath

sort of caddy today You know you can get It's like a tray That goes all the way across your bath A bridge for your biscuits Yeah exactly So you know you can put like your Kindle on there I think that's what she wanted it for

She didn't buy it in the end She was like She actually picked it up Put it in the trolley And then she said No no I'll put it back I didn't even say anything I didn't look at her

Did she try it on over the trolley I think we already had a foot We only got a shallow trolley and we bought more than we thought we would so it wouldn't go across. We were already brimming, but yeah, she should have done, actually. The middle aisle is magical.

Just in case you want some power tools with your carrots. Yeah. Oh, very good. Wow. Well, let's get to the podcast, I guess. Yeah. Let's do it. And welcome to Podiot's the official vidiates podcast.

It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urns, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Michael. Hi, guys. How are we today? Hello.

All right. Doing fantastic. I've got visions of throbbing weaners in my head. dancing like little angels it's beautiful welcome to the podcast yeah is there anything we need to sort of say or clarify before we move on to you know that bit with the amazing pod squad does anybody have anything to declare before we go through customs i've been a naughty boy oh fuck what have you done oh i'm really sorry what have you done i've brought a christmas thing along oh for fuck sake michael some of us have only had our tree up for two months

Yeah, what are you doing? Christmas started only last week. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just got a bit ahead of myself, and I did a bit of a deep dive on Christmas. Am I allowed to say it? I'm not sure I just sit in silence for 10 minutes when my thing comes along. No, it's okay. Well, I actually, we got a lot of Christmas-themed questions from the listeners, so I brought some along. And I guess, just. Oh, for God's sake, not as you, not you as well, Peter.

Because it's December, you know, I think Christmas, Christmas starts. with this episode and right next episode is what the world is waiting for the next episode is like the true Christmas episode but you know it it's Advent now it's an Advent episode yeah open up day one on your potty it's calendar and then you can open up day two in two weeks time and that's it it's just two big windows and behind one of them is some very thin white lycra crazy craziness but yes as Peter said next well I say next The next fortnight will be our proper Christmas episode. It will be the last episode of the year.

But we will explain a bit more about that at the end of the show. And obviously we'll talk about it on social media and stuff. It's fun, no big deal. Hey, did you know that you can support us financially as well as emotionally? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. We'll go with that.

By enlisting in Pod Squad. If you go to Streamlabs.com forward slash Poddiet's donations and donate three pounds or more, you get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast. If you join Pod Squad, you'll be randomly assigned one of three. different regiments, regiments, the Peter Regiment, the Michael Regiment and the Ben Regiment,

and we'll be extremely grateful. And as I said, you get a shout-out. Mikey is going to kick us off with his regiment of Pod Squad for this week. Fall in line, soldiers, it's roll call time. Start with Red Weth.

Wet-Ass Wilson. Cod Vett 93. Chav-Chav-Ramirez. Stephen Scodes. Mr. Defoe's Mighty Willem. Maybe it's Mr. Defoe and Aldi. There we go. Oh, my goodness.

Specky Becky. The mallet off of Timmy Mallet. Tom Monk. Lord Brottovich. Katie Kin Solo. Avogadro Toast 11. Stookalicious. Fred Webbers.

Little bit of Pud. Emily Lemons and Citadel Zombies. Step in line. Were there two different ones from Citadel Zombies or has that accidentally been copied? No, that's been accidentally copied. They have the same number next to them. Thank you, spreadsheets. Whoops.

Oh, I've done the same thing on mine as well. Oh, no. Alan Claw's in there twice. All these double ups. Okay, fall in line. Lockdown to electric... Lockdown to Electric Tori Lou. Oh.

Camp surviving pillow fucker, right? It's hard when they don't use camel case, as it's called. Oh, that's good, I've never heard Camel, Camel case? Yeah, they taught, that's what it's called I learned that when I studied computer science for a year. It's about the only thing I remember.

I don't remember Java. I just remember that that's called Camel Case. Oh. Where you put capitals at the start of the next word when it's all mashed together. Much like Tank on Tank Tank Tank Bat. Sparkles his back. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

Oh, and then it says like the X-Men theme in the message, which they didn't pay for but da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-da-na-da-na-da-na-da-na-a-da-na-a-da-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ma-man is actually there as well hang on you had at least six more nana-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-a-n-n-a---------batman Batman there we go

I will eventually get through my regiment I promise A big fan Happy Birthday Tom Cho Oh, happy birthday Big Titty Jesus 42 Axles Alive 95 Finn Tristam 3D Kitty Hawk

Big Titty Jesus 42 and Alan Claw And finally we've got Queef Chegwin Donak 07 Peter gets hit by an airplane Mr Black Bumpiss Lorraine

down in Africa Oh nice Sponge Bobby Babylonie Austin, Peter, Austin, Peter Peter gets hit with a shovel Not a boy or girl but an other There we go, there's one Evil Waffles

The The, what is that? The gazer, the gazer patron Is it Gazorpatron? Is it like a Rick and Morty thing? Gizorpasor. Oh, yeah, maybe. I don't know.

And, thank you. That's really confusing. That's a good one. Rhetoric role Nice. Rhetoric role. Roll 489. Again, need some camel case there. Yeah. Mr. Maca. Alan, please add an extra 50s worth.

Kermit the Pog, Kevin from Con, and Awesome Fox 42 is study in RIP. Oh, is studying. Is studying RIP? Yeah. Down with the kids. He's studying. Bam. You put your own camel case into that one, didn't you? My goodness, yeah, I just scanned it. I've fucked it up. Sorry, everyone. Thank you very much. That's your pod squad for this week. Streamlabs.com forward slash potty. It's donations to get a shout out at the beginning in it.

We've got a question here. I'll start, shall I, with questions. Let's go. I'm going to do it. It's from Johanna, who says, since it's Christmas time, let's talk about Easter. Why are there no Easter songs, and can you come up with one? Are there really no Easter songs? That's ludicrous. Well, I mean, I suppose there are Easter hymns in church about like crucifixes and stuff, which is not very nice.

Things aren't real songs. It's not like pop songs, are there, about Easter? It's a bit more religious than Christmas, isn't it? Christmas is more commercialised than Easter. Well, but there's the whole Easter bunny aspect to it, which is fairly commercialised. I suppose, but, you know, Jesus, he's got a hot bod. Easter bunny, not so much.

Right. Can't really sing about that. You know, I'm sure, I am certain. There is a subsect, probably a whole playlist on Spotify, of furry songs, right? But I don't think you're going to get those on the top 40. No, that's true, yeah.

I just can't... The imagery of Jesus nailed to the cross. It just, to me, just kind of screams a rap song about nailing people. They're very overt, disgusting. I'm going to nail you, like I nail Jesus to the cross, yo. Whoa. Is that blasphemy?

I think that's absolutely blasphemy, isn't it? Holy shit. You know. And then, you know, he came back to life as well. well that was a pretty rad thing to do that was good yeah come back to life and then i made you my wife boom whoa i don't think you did that jesus didn't do that it's a bit too edgy for me the rap i that's fair i feel something a bit more like an upbeat song about death and resurrection you know because i'm risen you know something like that yeah yeah clap along if you feel

i've for some reason i've just got the flintstones melody in my head i just kind of want to Easter. Like, Jesus. Look, it's Jesus. He was killed about three days ago. Oh, lovely. Jesus. Look, it's Jesus.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. That's great. That's really good. Yeah. Get that recorded, put on the charts, bam. I like that. It sort of ticks both boxes. It's just the general Christian holiday song, I suppose.

You can have it at Christmas as well. well all i can imagine is um sort of kids bop for christian music you know yeah yeah so something to do you know with easter like that trying to think of one just anything i mean what else is easter related so there's obviously the death and resurrection of jesus uh there's judas who who was the traitor and then he went and like hanged himself which is again you know really cheerful stuff that's a fun one that's a really fun one that's a really fun one thing about that. Yeah. And then, yeah, there's Easter Bunny and chocolate. Like eggs. Hot Cross buns. Hot cross buns. That's one. That's a song. Hot cross. Oh, you've done it, Mikey. This whole

question is a lie. What does hot, for something in my head, I'm imagining the lyrics to hot cross buns, just being hot cross buns repeated about 90 times. One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns. What more could you want from an Easter song? I've googled Easter songs, and it is all death and chocolate. That's all I've got. Right. We've got Glorious Day. This is the way, hang on, what's that I say?

It's cut off. This is the way the bunny hops, right? Here comes Peter Cotton Tail. At the cross, the Easter Bunny bop, five little bunnies. How great is our god, bunny but hyphenated, B-U-N-N-Y. And then, of course, nailed to the cross. by REND Collective from 2018. Oh, wow.

Baby Shark is on here for some reason. Okay. It's got some religious imagery in there, I'm sure. I mean, you can sing that song whenever you want, so Easter. Yeah. It does show up in Baby Shark Easter song, Easter songs for children kids on YouTube. Oh, I've just remembered now that when you said Easter song, I remembered a song we used to sing at primary school, which was Easter time, Easter time. The world's waking up.

Now it's Easter time Easter time Easter time Everything's bursting with life Bursting is not the word I would go to Bursting with life Everything is calming with life

Oh God I've got the lyrics to Baby Shark Easter song It's artistic It goes Easter shark Do do do do to do No But wait there's more

Easter bunny shark do do do do what doesn't even fit Easter basket shark do do do do chocolate bunny shark do do do that is rubbish Easter dress shark they've just sort of occasionally like thrown in Easter related words and that's it everyone's favourite Easter thing jelly bean shark do do do do do do yes there we go that's that's to make any song Easter just replace songs with the word replace words with the word Easter That's it That's all you've got to do Yeah

I'm watching it now Looks good Oh god It's got four million There's a pink shark saying Wake up It's Easter Day Ha ha ha ha

And there's a little shark And it's just straight in there With baby shark immediately Look at that The lyrics to this one Are different from your one Mikey Oh really It goes baby shark

Do do do do to do But then it goes Easter Day Do do do do Do do And then there's one where it goes mummy shark and then just puts in Easter egg and the next one is

egg hunting after daddy then there's Grandma shark and it goes egg rolling and you get to do it all again wow wow I love it's a whole verse dedicated to Easter parade where they just say it four times Easter parade Easter parade that's it there you go Johanna sing that in the streets Happy Easter do do do do do to do do I think what we've established is that number one

There are Easter songs. They are out there. And they're really good. And number two, we can't possibly come up with Easter songs that are as good as those that already exist. So, there we go. Oh, Ben, Ben, I'm sorry, I've got interrupt, but there's no Dave Benson Phillips on the timeline. Oh, shit. Yikes.

Oh, fuck. How can we forget? Does he know? Has anyone told him? Does Dave know it was Christmas? Nobody tell him. He tweeted, saying, hang on. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Hang on. He's in this Discord listening. upset crying. It's Dave being, Dave being hugged by a woman. That'll do. Let's just put that in, fucking nobody, nobody fucking tweet him, okay? I hope it's Easter related. Oh, there it is. Okay.

Oh, thank fuck for that. That could have been really bad. Well done for spotting it, Mikey. Fortunately, we've not got to the things yet, so I guess the podcast itself hadn't truly, truly begun. So it was a very, very close call. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Is it time to begin the podcast officially then? Yeah, it is.

It's time to do a thing. I've got a thing I'd quite like to put out there straight away. So I don't know who... If any of you have seen this, I'm not sure if people have, like, sent it to us. I've seen it around on social media. I can't remember if I've seen it because people have, like, Atta us and stuff, or if I've just seen it coincidentally.

But this is... I mean, unfortunately, it's according to The Daily Star. Boo. But it's almost an... update on a story that we've had before. Okay. Okay. Guys, Meatface has evolved.

What? Oh my God. He has risen. Mom stunned to find baby Yoda staring back at her in sausage and mash. Can we please see? Please. Oh, of course. Yeah.

I mean, unfortunately, when they've got it open on my phone, I'll have to... Let me just pull it up on the... Now I'm warning you You might be sorely disappointed By the lack of resemblance to baby Yoda here But I see him I sort of

I see bits of him But it almost looks like he's wearing Like a bra I think I almost see bosoms Yeah he's a thick boy That's a lot of gravy, isn't it? It is

In general it's just quite an ornit setup, isn't it? Yeah It's a tower of Sunday dinner Yeah I see two sausages and then the rest is just sort of abstract meat shapes. Hmm. Yeah.

What are those? If you squint, it's definitely baby order. Yeah, it is. There's definitely an element of baby odour there. Right, so I'll read this for you. Jade Etherington burst into laughter after finding the Star Wars character staring at her while standing on her plate,

just as she was about to tuck into her tasty grub. This is written by Helen Le Cappellane, and Unzela Khan, overnight reporter. It took two people to break this story at 151 in the morning on the 26th November 20th. It's can't wait till the morning. This has to be used right now. Get it out.

Hot off the presses. And then it sort of, the opening line repeats itself from the subheading. A mum burst out laughing after finding baby Yoda appearing in front of her from her dinner of sausage, mash and Yorkshire puddings.

Jane Etherington was stunned to see what looked like the Star Wars character staring back at her. This is just the most filler article in the world, isn't it? Baby Yoda is a character from Star Wars created by George Lucas. Wow. I kid you not, the next line is

the 29-year-old broke out into pearls of laughter after noticing Baby Yoda standing on top of her plate as she was about to dig in. Pearls. She noticed its ears, made from Yorkshire puddings, and sausage legs. It's not... The way they've described,

this makes it sound intentional or an act of God. Yeah. It's got ears made out of New York. No, it's not. No, it's just the way that... It doesn't have anything made out of anything. It's not a thing. It's a pile of food. After taking a quick snap of her doppelganga dinner factory worker Jade

wolfed down the quote, delicious meal that chef partner David Etherington had made, despite admitting it was quote, almost too cute to eat. It's not too cute to eat by any of the imagination.

Is it, though? What would you do if you didn't eat it? Would they go on your mantel place forever until they got mouldy and gross? Family come over on Christmas Day. What's that clump of fuzz on the mantel piece? Oh, it's baby you're at least too keen to eat. The rest of the article is just as inconsequential as you would hope it to be.

It says, Jade from Darlington County Durham said, David had cooked a nice winter warmer of mash, gravy, two Yorkshire puddings and two sausages. He put my portion on the side in the kitchen And when I went over to get it I said, Oh my God, it looks like It's got little eyes, nose and feet I don't see any eyes

I don't see eyes either, no I see a mouth, kind of Yeah, I'd, yeah Horrible sort of underbite Really, the mouth, it's terrifying It had a Yorkshire pudding head Ears and Arms as well The sausages are like the feet

For some reason when he put the gravy On top of the Yorkshire pudding It wilted and it looked like it had ears Obviously, he didn't intend to make it look like that at all. It just happened. At first, I thought it looked like Gizmo from Gremlin's. But then when I shared it online, everyone else said it looked like Baby Yoda, and now I can't unsee it.

The child, colloquially known as Baby Yoda, is a character from the Star Wars Disney Plus TV series, The Mandalorian. It goes on and on, and on. How many words can you use to say absolutely nothing? We're about to find out. How many adverts can we fit in there? He's an infant member of the same unnamed alien species as Star Wars character, Yoda, and shares a strong ability in The Force and wears similar robes.

Fucking hell. Skilled cook David 29 had rustled up the winter warmer for a midweek meal. How is this still writing about this fucking meal? It's like the stairs in Maro 64, that never end. for a winter warmer for a midweek meal and served it with a glass of red wine

Jade, who is mum to two-year-old Bella Etherington said... What is Bella got to do with this now? Jade, who is mum to two-year-old

Bella Etherington said, having a chef as a partner means I get good meals every day, which is great. And then right at the bottom, this is completely unrelated, but it's sort of within

the prose, but bold. It says, What crimes have been reported in your neighbourhood? Check our handy tool from in your area. Fucking Daily Star. Yeah. Who assembles a meal like that?

Yeah. I know he's a chef, right? Is that what he is? Yeah, he is, yeah. Why, though? That just seems like to have a paddling pool of gravy at the bottom like that just seems so inefficient. Soggy, yeah. Oh, fuck me.

It continues underneath the ad for how safe is. is your neighbourhood. It now says, We noticed the likeness together at the same time, and we were both laughing about it. His portion didn't look like it, just mine. Wow, who'd a fucking guessed? I took a picture of it because it looked funny, and I wanted to show people what it turned out to be. It almost seemed a shame to eat it, as it looks so cute.

It tasted delicious. He's not rustled up anything else that looks like something else. Fucking hell. It was just a one-off. This was published at half one in the morning, right? Yeah, it was. This is absolutely someone's boss coming down on them. Like, hey, you haven't met your quarter this month.

You get some articles out right now. They go on Twitter, they're greeted by baby yoder. And they're just... We need 1,500 words on mashed potato yoda. Now. Right now. That's it. That is actually the end.

But I love that the ending is just... He's not rustled up anything else that looks like something else. It was just a one-off. Fucking hell. Oh, I love journalism. I can't believe Meatface had a baby and didn't even tell us. I know. Oh, no.

A baby Yoda. Wet, soggy gravy baby. There we go. Well, that's my story for the week. That was amazing. Thank you. He's back. Oh, dear.

So, question time again. So this is from Shana, but also, coincidentally, a similar thing from Leon. And both of them are freelancers for triple jump. Yes, they are. They're only enough. They've asked the same sort of thing. So Leon asks, if you guys or girls have the power to replace any of Santa's reindeer's, who would you pick and why?

And then Shana asked, if the vidiates were tasked to help deliver presents this year, what would be the names of the Vidyat's Christmas reindeer? So I think we go through all of the reindeer, decide if any of them need to go because we don't like them for some reason and then we need to replace them you know

so uh prancer dancer comic cupids donna dash of vixen blitzin and rudolph yeah i think that's right i have no idea those are all of them so any of those you don't like any do you think rubbish names i think we need to get rid of rudolph

yeah yeah he's overrated it's cocky arrogant yeah yeah You've got big, big ideas, fancy ideas about himself. Yeah. I want to get rid of dance and replace it with an actual dancer, because I feel like that name's very misleading. Yeah.

Cupid also, that's a Valentine's name, you know? Don't step off, step off of Christmas. Yeah, fuck off. So we're getting rid of dancer. We're getting rid of Cupid and we're getting rid of Rudolph, yeah? Rudolf, right. So we need three Vidiot's universe. Or not necessarily, they don't have to be like,

VCU members. We just got to come up with replacements in some way. Okay. I think Michael Jogson should go at the front. Oh God. His wide eyes. He can't fly. Yeah. So he's just sort of going to be dangling

limply from the rains. If he give me enough drugs, he'll feel like he's flying, though. Well, that is true. He will be flying, but it won't be him that's doing the flying. However, his hugely, hugely dilated pupils will allow him to see quite clearly in the dark sky. There he go. Well, and also, he'll be able to do mad stunts on his pedal sleigh, won't he?

Oh, good. This is a mad stunt at the very beginning, and all the toys just fall out. And our good friend Michael Jokeson's ruined Christmas. Yeah. Hmm. Do we want real names or just nonsense words? Yeah, we could just crap out. some names rather than specific people, but...

Bopis could go in there. On Boppus works, actually. Boppis is quite a... Yeah, it's sort of a reindeer-sounding name. Yeah. Poppits. I'm happy going, what is Boppest, though? Buy online pick-up in store, right?

Buy-one pick-up in store. Which is presumably what Santa did at some point. There you go. Merry Boppismus. Yeah, that's perfect. Is it just a sign that says the words, buy-on-line, pick-up in store? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, just, again, hanging limply from the reins. I don't want to be too kind of, I don't want to state the obvious or go for low-hanging fruit, but I do wonder if Jeff is the most magic, he's the closest we can get to a magical reindeer from a, that's true, from the universe that we've got. You stick some tiny twigs on his head,

and he's pretty much a magical reindeer at that point, isn't he? Yeah, I think so. Well, you've got to find him first. Oh, true. That's, that's when Christmas begins. Everyone lay out treats and things around your house and try and summon Jeff. Otherwise, Jeff won't come. Make sure you go to bed.

He won't go in your walls. Well, I think that's kind of it then. You know, maybe people should, I think we should get people to draw that for us. Just Santa being pulled by six normal reindeer. And then Jeff, Michael Jugson, and whatever you want Boppis to look like depicted in visual form. So we're on Prancer, on Bopis, on Comet, on Jeff the Mungoose, on Donna, on Daschen, on Dasha, sorry, on Vixen, on Blitzen, and Michael Juggson. Michael, on Jugson.

On Juxon. Oh, beautiful. Well, that's it, sorted. Fuck's sake. We're redefining Christmas this episode, aren't we? Yeah. This is important. Yeah.

Well, while we're in this Christmas spirit, shall I do my sinful, sinful Christmas thing? Yeah, go on it. Go on it. Go on then. So, as we're all aware, Christmas is full of lovely little traditions, you know, things like putting the stocking out, leaving food out for Santa. Chocolate Grandma. Chocolate Grandma, of course. Yeah.

All these good things. But it turns out some of them have fairly sinister origins or origins that you wouldn't expect. So I've picked a couple of things and I've found the morbid history behind them and these innocent childish things we all knew and loved growing up. I've found the origins, the truth behind them. So we start with Christmas stockings, which is an absolute personal favourite of mine. For some reason as a kid, Christmas stockings were almost the most fun bit of the day. Yeah.

I'd stay up until my parents went to bed, and that's when they put the stocking outside my door. And then when I heard that little poof against the door, I'd wait five minutes, sent to get in the bed, and then I'd just hurriedly run into bed with it and just see what goodies had been bestowed upon. me. Do anyone else get oranges in theirs? Was that just me? Yeah, yeah.

Well, I don't think I've got full-size orange, like a little Clementine or something. Yeah. I've enjoyed that. It's a healthy way to start Christmas before I engorge myself on chocolate. Yeah, a little bit of vitamin C. But it's always been a slightly weird tradition in the sense that there's already a designated present zone, which is, you know, underneath the

Christmas tree. So why do we put gifts in old socks? Well, according to legend, in the fourth century, there was a poor man bemoaning the fact that he couldn't afford a dowry for his three daughters and thus no one would want to marry them disaster in modern times this isn't an issue because you know you can do what you want you can get a job it doesn't matter if your father doesn't have money yeah but back in those days this unfortunately meant that the only job available to unwed women was prostitution oh

that's it that's it that if you're not married's all that was available to you that's the only thing That's it. And that's why we say, I hope you're married, because otherwise you'll be forced into this line of work. Not there's anything wrong with going into that line of work if you want to. We're just sort of saying that if you're forced, that's not good. No. That's not good. Yeah, do it if you want to, but when you're forced into it, when you're forced into it, when you're forced it. So word of this sad situation managed to make its way to St. Nicholas, the actual inspiration for Santa Claus. And Nicholas came to the man's house in the middle of the night with three pouches of ghoul.

to help them out. He looked through the window and saw three pairs of stockings drying in front of their fire. Unfortunately, unable to go through the locked door, he made the obvious decision to go down the chimney and took the gold away in each of the stockings. Because yeah, if you can't get through the door, you go down the chimney, obviously. Hang on a minute. So what you're telling me is a man turned up at a house where three known prostitutes were living. He went down the chimney with a pouch full of gold and left with no gold. Is that what you're saying? Maybe some of the middle bits been fabricated, but I'm just delivering what I've got in front

of me. So is he. I don't think he was there for truly charitable reasons. That's all I'm saying. Well, regardless, they walk the next morning to find the gold stuffed away in their stockings. And they started the tradition of leaving stockings out for St. Nick to Phil. and I guess it's also the reason why Santa Claus says ho, ho, ho. Oh, very good.

It just gets worse and worse, isn't it? Yeah. Very good. Very good. Now, move on to a little Christmas carol. Good King Wenseless. A lovely little ditty about a king who comes across a beggar gathering firewood out in the snow. And this kind king invites the poor soul to join him inside his warm, lovely castle for the night.

And Wenzis was a real person. He's a historical figure. But the king's actual. real life reads more like a Game of Thrones episode than your standard Christmas Carol. Oh dear. He was the son of the Duke of Bohemia, today known as the Czech Republic, and he lived the high life during the early 10th century until sadly his father died in battle, and things started taking a bit of a turn.

His pagan-loving mother, Dragomi, quickly took to power and decided that she quite enjoyed this whole ruling thing, but she didn't like this newfangled Christianity fad that was sweeping over Europe at the time. This caused a rift between her and Wenseless and his Christian grandmother, Ludmilla. Ludmiller at this point nudged Wenseless to take over Bohemia and rule in the name of Christ. And obviously, Dragomere wasn't best pleased about this, and responded by sending a gift of Strangle-hungry assassins to her mother-in-law's castle. Strangle hungry. Strangle hungry, yeah, oh, they're ravenous for a bit of strangle. This brutal murder actually rallied people behind Wenslis.

Apparently, when you're presented with either a blood-thirsty leader or a Christian one without a history of strangling old women, suddenly the Christians become a little bit less controversial of a choice. And thus, he was able to take over Bohemia. So things were going well. He's reigning over Czech Republic with his Christian goodness. And years later, Wenslis was invited to a feast by his younger brother, Bullslaw.

And he accepted, despite being tipped off, that bullslaw, was planning to act. actually kill him. I always asked the waiter not to put any balls floor on my order. I don't really like it very much. Especially not all the ball of it. Yeah. He went along thinking, oh, my brother's not actually going to kill me, is he? He wouldn't do that. Surprise, he ended up killing him, and Wenseless ended up stabbed and dismembered in front of a church. Merry Christmas. That's nice. Yeah. Surely caroling. That's good. That's what? Nice old ladies and young children coming to your door singing lovely, lovely little Christmas ditties. That's got to be innocent,

right? Can't be anything wrong with that. Yeah. Of course. Of course it's got a horrible backstory. Modern Christmas caroling is incredibly safe and quaint. It's, you know, it's for the masses, to be enjoyed by everyone. But it was a different matter entirely before the 19th century. Christmas was a time when social norms went out the window and everyone went just a little bit wild. Part of this shift in mentality meant that people would go door to door, making noise, drinking and playing instruments, with the expectation of being invited inside for food or booze. So it's not that bad so far, maybe a little bit rumbunctious, but not that bad. But the carolars would also cross-dress or dress up as animals and proceed to have sex with each other in front of these people's houses.

Oh, God. Okay. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, bit much, bit much. Accounts exist of proto-carollers, burglarizing homes and destroying livelihood simply because they didn't have enough booze or money to go around. Even some of the songs sung around that time explicitly threatened home occupants saying that if they fail to provide the goods, they could expect a curb stomping by belligerent short-tune singing furies. Wow.

And lastly, how the rich ruined Christmas. Santa Claus sadly wasn't birthed in the innocent minds of children. Instead, he was invented by the rich elite of New York in an attempt to stop Americans from drinking. during the holidays. So harked back to our lovely carols up there. If ye all decarling was anything to go by, Christmas used to be a rowdy mess of a holiday. Property damage was widespread. Any sense of decency was drowned in gallons of wine, and violent hijinks were the main priority. By the early 1800s, the rich elites start to think of ways to ruin this one night of magical fun that poor people enjoyed each year.

And in New York City, a group of wealthy Dutch Americans formed the St. Nicholas Society. and conspired to make Christmas safe for the rich. With the help of writers like Washington Irving and Clement Clark Moore, the society began domesticating the holiday by focusing it upon children instead of getting mad drunk in the night. First, they brought over the Dutch story of Sinter Claus, a folkloric figure based on St. Nicholas, who's present-giving anti-pimping platform,

made him the perfect symbol for family-friendly wholesomeness. So thanks to these rich elite Christmas is no longer a night of getting wildly drunk and destroying things it's now boring and nice and it's all about giving and family and it's terrible I think this Christmas we should take a stand and we should get naked

dressed up as animals and scream and drink in front of other people's houses and threaten them unless they give us enough money and drink yeah yeah perfect there you go that's a little bit of back story to what makes Christmas so wholesome today oh wow well now

when I'm trying to enjoy my lovely Christmas day it'll make me think twice and think no Peter you should be you should be miserable don't partake in any of this so I'm glad I'm glad I know about it now Mike because otherwise I might have had a good day Yeah I'm doing the law's work thank you

What done Michael So we move on to a non-Christmassy question now Mikey's recent venture This is from Kev I should say Mikey's recent venture into Dark Souls Has me thinking Are there any games or shows or movies because I know this isn't a video games podcast

that you never thought you would like but once you gave them a try, you loved them. Oh. Okay. That's a good question. I guess I'll speak briefly about Dark Souls but then I'll say something else since it's already been provided

and that's cheating of me to go along with that. But yeah, I'm enjoying Dark Souls. I start playing it on stream and it's a game I tried to play several years ago but never got into it. I think I kind of gave up within the first 20 minutes because it felt a bit weird and not what I'm used to.

But now I was like, oh, I understand. It's a challenge. It's supposed to be a bit difficult, and it's rewarding when you do things. I'm enjoying it. It's difficult and sometimes makes me feel very upset and mad, but that's all part of the fun, right? I'm sure Ben, you can attest to that.

Yeah, yeah, I couldn't get in it straight away either. It took me a little while. But I think in other things that I enjoyed, it was the American office. I went into it as, like, this huge fan of the British office. Yeah. And it just felt like this bastardization of like a beloved series

and the first season of the American one is bloody awful because it's just a word for word remake of the first series of the office then yeah it actually starts it gets really good it becomes its own thing and I didn't expect myself to really get involved in it

and I kind of found myself binging every season of it and very much enjoying it that's good because I've still not tried it because I am such a fan of the British version it's worth a good it's a typical American sitcom kind of affair but it's it's nice

it's good fun. Okay. I recently finished the second series of you, you know, the Netflix show about the stalker. So I was told about that. Amy told me if she'd already seen it. I think she'd watched it with her sister. Like I must have been a year or so ago now.

Well, it's almost longer than you think, especially this year. So you have to add 12 months, pretty much, to anything that you think happened recently. But yeah, like two or three years ago, she'd already watched it. And then she said, oh, yeah, you'll really like it. And I was like, what's it about what is this? And she said, oh, it's this guy who like falls in love with someone who walks into his shop in the first episode.

And then it's just him being like really creepy and like, you know, he gets hold of her phone and like hacks into her accounts and knows what she's doing. And he's, it gets really sinister and like dark. and I was like oh okay this sounds a bit grim tried that really enjoyed it thought it was really good and then it was about a year or more before we got round to

sort of saying that we should watch the second series and by that time Amy had seen that as well because she'd jumped on it as soon as it had come out and she said oh let's watch the second series and by that point I was I'd sort of forgotten that like how

why I'd liked it in the first place and I was like oh but you know it's just going to be about that creepy guy again who's just doing creepy things and now it's not even set in new york city anymore which i really liked like i think the second series is set in la didn't watch it for a long time even though she kept asking me and then when i did really really enjoyed it again and now i'm really looking forward to the third series yeah claudy was watching you it must be the second season because remember it being in laa i kind of tuned in and out occasion i was like oh i'm actually quite enjoying this i should give it a proper go i think

I'll do that. That'll be my tonight thing. I'll give the first season ago. You definitely should. It's like, it's stressful, but in like a really, a really enthralling way. I love stressful things. Yeah.

What about you, Ben? Hmm. I don't know. There are a lot of films I haven't seen. I know a lot of Tarantino films were big gaps in my knowledge. In my viewing experience and I, I semi-recently watched Pulitzer. fiction and Inglorious Bastards and I thought they were both fantastic and I really,

really enjoyed them and I never, you know, didn't watch them because I didn't think I'd like them. I just never watched them. They were really good, really, really good. And I also watched Fight Club for the first time in a couple of years ago, after we played it on worst games ever. Yeah. Which was very helpful. And that was also, it was also a great film. Oh, I thought when you'd watched that before, they could have saved you from several hundred comments, but like, you've not seen Fight Club. Yeah, I don't. Honestly, and I can't state this

enough, I don't give a fuck. What you're saying in the comments at all? Like, shove it up your ass. I don't give a fuck. Wow, there you go. I don't care. Fuck off. If you've really got a problem, find me on social media and say it to me.

If not, I don't care. Because you're just pissing in the wind, my friend. But also, if you've really got a problem that someone you've never met and probably may well never meet, unless it's maybe like a games convention or whatever, has not seen our film that you like. Like, don't worry about, don't spend the energy. Oh, it says a lot about you, doesn't it?

That it makes you so mad that we haven't seen Fight Club. Terrible. Time for a thing. Yes, is it in my turn? It is. Yes, I think it is. I believe it's time we need to return to Not the Onion. Oh, lovely.

It's been a little while. So, as many of you will surely be aware, The Onion is a satirical news website where they make up fake headlines that in today's world sound quite real. There is a subreddit dedicated to news stories that are real that sound like they should be onion headlines. So what I've done is I've taken some real headlines and stories from the Not the Onion subreddit and a few from the actual Onion website and I've sort of reworded the titles ever so slightly so they're sort of similar sounding and I'm going to read them to you, and you guys have got to tell me which ones are real and which ones are

the onion. Wonderful. It could be, they could all be real, they could all be the onion, there could be a healthy mix. Who's to say? Ooh, the mystery. So I've got seven this evening. I'm going to read you the headlines first, and then we'll go through, and you can tell

me which ones you think of real and which ones you think are the onion, fake. So here we go. First one, Taiwan Man, my God, Taiwan Ma, Taiwan, Tomo, Taiwan Man forced to to sell PS5 after wife discovers it was not an air purifier. Oh, what? Okay. Oh, no. Expensive doctor suggests chicken nuggets cure autism. What?

Oh, God. Expensive doctor, no less. Mm-hmm. Business under fire for ignoring emails from employee trapped in elevator. Oh, my God. Twitch suspends Dragon Force guitarist for playing his own music. A Nigerian prince rents out an entire New York City restaurant for his first date with now wife CDC says cruises can set sail again but passengers will not be allowed on board

And finally, North Korean gymnast defects by vaulting fences I hope that's true Oh man, okay So there we are, first one, real or not, Thai world bar forced to sell PS5R, after wife discovers it was not an air purifier. I'm not sure about the air purifier bit. I think, I could almost believe it if it was man forced to sell Xbox Series X

because the people were like doing the vape stuff. Yeah. And maybe she'd seen like a picture of the smoke coming out and thought it was like missed or, I think I'm going to say fake though on that overall. Hmm. I'm leaning towards wheel because I I feel like that's one of those things, like, his wife's been like,

all right, we've got to be careful of money this year. You know, we're a bit hard up. And he comes home with this box. And he's like, oh, what's that then? It's a massive clayd air freshener, you know. Oh, it's, what are you playing on that? Is that, is that Demon Souls? Yeah, just got it on the PS3 thought I'd give another goal.

Yeah. I'm going to say true. It's true. Oh, wow. It's true. Oh, you're really quick at reserving the console. Did you manage to reserve two consoles? If not, why are you selling this?

The man paused for two. seconds before responding, it's my wife who wants to sell it. I went silent after seeing the look in his eyes. I could feel his pain, Wu wrote. That's real. That is a real thing. Would you like to see a side-by-side of the air purifier he apparently told his wife he was buying? Yeah. Yes, please. Here we go. That poor man, because they're hard to come by, so he's distraught. Ah. Yeah. You know what? Similar. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that. Wow, that's very convincing. It's almost like the people who make the air purifier

designed it to look like that so that people might accidentally buy it. Yeah. It looks like it could just be a PS5 slim. That's amazing. Yeah. Next headline, expensive doctor suggests chicken nuggets cure autism.

I don't know where to start with this one. Worded exactly like that, I think that would be real. I'm just wondering whether it's been slightly tweaked in some way from a more obvious onion phrasing, but I don't know. I'm just glad the expensive doctor has a cheap treatment. When you spend all your money, at least at the end of it, you can afford the remedy.

Yeah. I think I'll say, I think I'll say true. I'm going to go true as well. It's true. Oh. The real headline is expensive Edinburgh doctor comes under fire after autism claims. Now, I'm sure you can already put two and two together and know that she's just.

speaking out of her ass but she does actually say in the video consultation the private doctor spoke about how autism is linked to the measles, mumps and rebella vaccination and recommended

organic chicken nuggets that's a line in this article it doesn't go into any further detail but that's true she did apparently recommend organic chicken nuggets as a cure for autism

I would almost have more respect for the doctor if she recommended organic chicken nuggets without mention of the MMR vaccine. Like, it's way worse that, like, they think that eating chicken nuggets, for one thing, will have any effect on anything that a vaccine is going to do to you. And, of course, number two, that they think that the MMR vaccine causes autism in the first place.

That's also completely, you know, mad. But, wow. Double whammy there. Experts have slammed the misinformation given by private practitioners as disgraceful. So there you want. MMR jab doesn't cause autism, we should all know that, but I mean, chicken nuggets probably help prevent lots of other things, right? Hunger.

Hunger? Yeah. Sadness. Death by hunger. Oh. Death by hunger. There you go. Sadness by hunger.

Yeah. So many options. Salt deficiency. Yeah. If you're really, really, really bunged up, you could maybe eat undercooked chicken nuggets. And that might sort of clear you out. Clean you right out. Truly is the wonder, wonder drug.

The wonder food. It has to be organic, though, which is upsetting. That's a bit more expensive, isn't it? Can't to go down to McDonald's candy, that's a shame? He can't. Business under fire for ignoring emails from employee trapped in elevator. I hope this is true. Yeah, I can just totally picture that scene of like Derek stuck in the lift,

like CC office. Anybody in your office right now? I'm a bit stuck 30 minutes later. Please, anybody look at your emails. I can definitely see it being on the onion. but I think it's true. It's true as well. It's the onion.

Ah. It's the onion. The proper headline is, annoying co-worker keeps sending after-hours emails that he's trapped in office elevator. Right. Okay. Yeah.

It's hard to enjoy my downtime when my phone keeps buzzing with messages outlining how Josh has been stuck in the elevator since Wednesday or whatever. It goes on like that. So there we go. That was fake. That was an onion one.

Next headline. Twitch suspends Dragon Force. guitarist for playing his own music. That's got to be true. I mean, yeah, knowing the current state of things, because that's happened to quite a few people at this point, where people are playing their own music and bam, band. Yep, it's real.

Ah, thanks, Twitch. It's real. Twitch has recently been busy with its comically oversized takedown hammer, it says here, smashing thousands of channels for their unsanctioned use of copyrighted music under the auspices of the digital millennial... Fuck me. Millennium Copyright Act.

There we go. But yes, it's affected. guitarist Herman Lee of Dragon Force So he's now streaming on YouTube and I feel for him because streaming on YouTube is dreadful Yeah, good luck playing your own music on YouTube

and not getting in trouble for it Good luck scheduling a stream So we can stream it in the first fucking place Next headline A Nigerian Prince rents out An entire NYC restaurant For his first date with now wife I just

Um I just Could you imagine turning up to a first date And he's booked out the entire restaurant I would feel so uneasy. Yeah. That's a kind of terrifying prospect. But I think some people maybe would go to that, to those lengths.

You know, I think maybe it's true. I'm trying to, I feel like there's a potential onion spin on this, but it's not coming to me, so I'm going to go true. So the onion spin would be that he's a Nigerian prince, which is why it was on there. However, it is real. He did do that. his now wife had no idea he was a royal

and they went on a lovely date okay that was it but yeah I think the reason it was on not the onion is the whole you know Nigerian prince scams yeah of course yeah so but no real it happened so next time you get one of those emails you never know do it would you like to come to dinner with me

oh yes yeah CDC says cruises can set sail again but passengers will not be allowed on board Yeah, maybe they're being used for something else. Like, maybe they're putting cargo on there, although that's not exactly practical. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to say that's real.

I'll say true. It is real. That's a true thing. It then boringly goes on to say the goal is to ensure that all necessary public health procedures are in place first. But that's quite funny anyway. Hey, you go on. You go set sail. Go on.

Can't take any people, but... It is. Kind of mad. If you've got to stretch your boat. Yeah, make sure it doesn't... Like your car. Ben, so it doesn't get all stuck together and doesn't go anymore. Yeah.

Final story, North Korean gymnast defects by vaulting fences. This was my favourite one. This is so difficult because it's so onion, but, you know, use your strengths. You know, if you feel stuck in North Korea and you think, I could get over that fence. If I had a really good run-up, I could do it. I can see it being true. And just because I want it to be, I'm going to say true. Just, yeah, the look on the gods faces as this man leaps over these fences.

Like, yeah, fair play, you've earned your freedom. Just think they held up cards at the end and applaud it. 9.0, 9.1. It got over the border, was handed a gold medal. And that's a national hero. Yeah, I'm going to say true. It's true. Oh, wow.

A North Korean gymnast has escaped to South Korea by swinging himself over the border barricades without triggering sensors, according to reports. The man reported to be in his 20s, surrendered after a manhunt by the South Korean military discovered a breach. The troops had engaged in an operation near the heavily fortified border of

Oh, Gossion, I think, after detecting unidentified personnel there. The unnamed man was detained without incident and asked for asylum, prompting an investigation into his claims and the breach. They did ask him to demonstrate how he was able to jump over the three-meter fence. and authorities have vowed to investigate

why high-tech security systems did not work. Wow, well done, I'm proud of him. That's impressive, isn't it? Yeah. It's a really good one. Okay, well, there we are. There's some weird news for you. Fantastic.

Cheers, Ben. So, so we end on a slightly different note. Stuart Christ, at Stucalicious on Twitter, has asked a question, I'm lately really struggling with my depression in the same week that I've got a really important job interview, no less. What are some tips and advice that you have to stay more

positive? I've no doubt some of your listeners slash viewers will also have struggles daily. Thanks, boikes. And then in brackets in a reply to that tweet, he's also put, an apologies for it's quite a serious and a heavy question for your comedy podcast. But, I mean, you're right, but all the

same, you know, it's a good, it's a good platform at least to talk about things that people can do. To stay positive. So I think like the The first and foremost, people should, like, talk to people they know about how they're feeling. If you're struggling, that's the first thing that you should do, I think. And, yeah, even just the act of talking about it can be fairly relieving.

It's cathartic, yeah, that's true. Yes, that's the word. Absolutely. Make sure you get professional help as well. Yeah, definitely. Go seek medical advice, if you think that's appropriate. Yeah, if that's kind of where you're at, that's, of course, something worth doing. I think like COVID related kind of depression and issues like that are obviously like a hot topic at the moment and although it's kind of it might seem an obvious answer and it's something that a lot of people have already been doing a lot of this year but if you are kind of shut up by yourself and you're locked down or whatever and you're living alone it can make all the difference just to get on the phone with someone not necessarily a flipping Zoom quiz. because you've done that many of those,

but even just to talk one-on-one with people and just catch up with your friends and family. Yeah, as well, just get outside. I think that's because it's for me anyway. Like, I've had dips and dives over the last few months. Like, the things that always help are eating better. Oh, my God, that makes a world of difference. Like, last month I've kind of kicked my diet back into gear.

I'm not eating just shit every day. And, like, that's made a world of difference. But also, just get outside. You can still walk out there, just stick on your favorite podcast, and just have a merry old joan around somewhere for like an hour or two. And it's just nice to have a change of scenery because, I mean, I'm sure this is the same case for many people, but the place where you work and live is the same place.

And if you spend, what, 18 hours in that same place, it's just disorienting beyond all hell. So remember to go outside. Definitely. It can help to have a good schedule as well, especially if you're working from home. I know it's a bit of a, you could argue that it's like a vicious, cycle. Like, if you're feeling, if you're not feeling good, it can be a struggle to keep to a

schedule. Yeah. Like, there have been days where I've not really got properly dressed for the whole day. That's been the last eight months for me. Yeah, like, I've showered and stuff, but like, I've, I've not got dressed. And for me, that's one thing that I've found on the times where I've been like, oh, I feel, you know, in a bit of a dip. If I, if I force myself to like, no, just like, get up, have breakfast, get actually dressed. Even though I'm not going anywhere, it really makes no difference. I could be in pajamas all day, but I think just the act of like having that schedule and trying to reset your brain into like, yeah, things are a bit weird right now, but the least you can do is like, try and try and do the, all the, as many normal things as you can to make

it feel more normal, I suppose. Cosplay having a normal day. Yeah, exactly. P-O-V, there is no COVID and you are having a lovely day. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. There was an episode. I'm trying to find it now. There was an episode that we did where I recommended some mental health and well-being apps that are very handy and I can't remember what episode. Oh, I found it because actually I DM'd that episode to someone recently who asked me about it. It's episode 44. So you can either obviously just navigate yourself to episode 44 and there will be links in the description. But just by name, headspace is for meditation and sleep. Woe bot, I believe that's the one way you can,

your interact is like a chat bot, right? Yeah, yeah, that's cognitive behavioral therapy. So the AI bot is programmed to listen to you and ask you relevant questions and get you to respond to them and it'll adapt based on what you tell it and it will sort of send push notifications to your phone as if they're texts. so it'll be like the robots checking up on you a couple of times a day and stuff, it can be helpful.

Kind of signposts you to the right things. Stop, breathe and think. Sam, S-A-M, that is, self-help for anxiety management, and mind shift. Those are all worth having to look at if you feel that you might benefit from them. But apart from that, in terms of just being nervous about applying for a job or a job interview, I suppose it all comes down to the kind of job you're going from, what your circumstances are, I don't know if maybe you're out of work at the moment and that's why this is particularly stressful or if you're just looking to change jobs or what the situation

is. But I think there's probably some crossover there with, again, we're not professionals. There's a good chance of the stuff we've recommended so far with the apps and the talking to people will help you. And job interviews are nerve-wracking anyway. So just try to focus on that and just doing the best that you can in that and preparing for it too research the company that kind of stuff yeah yeah i think yeah that's actually number one thing you can do is just research the company because at least i used to know where the company i work for right now it's quite in depth the interview process so it's worth just knowing the industry you're going into and just i think showing an interest the main thing that's all they're looking for is is this the kind of thing this person

actually wants to be doing depends on the kind of job you're going for but just yeah sure an interest and be smiley yeah yeah and i guess the more prepared you are then theoretically the more calm you will be going into it hopefully yeah absolutely yeah well there we go a little slightly slightly more serious end to a podcast but it seemed like something worth uh as you say ben we've talked about this before but you know no harm in reiterating now and then especially given the situation and this time of year and unprecedented stuff that's just that word has been that should be word of the year i think unprecedented yeah god Shouldn't it just?

Well, Peter, thank you so much for organising the Quest Johns this week. No worries. Thank you boys for your things as well. Oh. Hey, did you know that you could go to store.orgscast.com and there's some merchandise there. Michael?

Hello? Hello. You're absolutely right. If you go over to store.orgscast.com, you'll find a bounty of beautiful Vidyat's merch. I should know because I've got like three Vidyat's mugs in this flat at the minute. It's great.

Makes drinks taste so. much better. And you've got T-shirts, you know, the classic VS1 hoodie, the icon, the best bit of merch we'll ever make. And if you, if you want some for yourself, you can have them buy it. Pse, it's a little tip.

What? At that there, checkout, if you type in the word vidiates in the coupon box, you'll get 10% off. Fuck off. Everything. What? Absolutely everything on the Yorkscast store, not just us. So maybe you want to do a little big order for Christmas, you know, for the vidiots

fan in your life, or you can get a little little bit of money off. You're a liar. You're lying to me. Then fuck off. I'm being... It can't be true. It's absolutely true. You can try it for yourself. I don't know if I believe that. Well, seeing is believing. I just have to go to the website and try it, when I'm trying it, went I? Yeah. And maybe when you

input in that cord, you'll be wowed by the value. You can't help it to check out. Wow. I've got to click by. I have no control. We're also available on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook all.com forward slash vidiots official also twitch.tv.tvot TV forward slash

video official. Mike, you got any Hello Peter. You got any streams this week, Michael? Um, maybe. I just thought I'd say it on the second one because I missed the first. I did enjoy it. It threw me off a bit. Yeah, so for people who

watch the vidiot streams or remotely pay attention to the videos Twitter, you notice I'm streaming a lot more regularly at the minute. It's good fun. They've got a nice little number of people together all chat and talk and watch me do very badly at games. I'm still not in the realms of having anything remotely close to a schedule, but keep your eyes peeled. You'll see, usually I kind of tweet six, seven hours before the stream,

letting you know it's going to happen. So come along join me. It's always a good bit of fun. Excellent. So there may well be another Mikey stream this week. I tell you what, there will definitely be a stream of. Oh, that was smoothly worded, wasn't it? I will be doing a stream on Saturday

with my friend Ben thankfully this new nonsense tier system does still allow for bubble households so he will be able to visit we will be streaming in aid of Alzheimer's Alzheimer's Research UK is what we'll be streaming in aid of so if you want to come along watch some

Resident Evil Revelations too is I believe what we'll be playing and you know we won't be accepting regular donations but we will be taking charitable donations instead. So do come along and hang out. It'll be another ridiculous marathon stream, which we haven't done for months and months. So it should be a good laugh. Can't wait. Sounds great. I'll be doing a bit more posting about that this week. Did you know? I know you did,

but I'm just asking it. It's rhetorical. Streamlabs.com forward slash potty. It's donations. Three pounds or more. You get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the show. You joined Pod Squad. This week's Pod Squad is once again as follows. Red Weth. Wet ass Wilson. Bet 93, Chav Chav Ramirez, Stephen Scourdes, Mr. Defoe's Mighty Willem, Specky, Becky, The Mallet, off of Timmy Mallet, Tom Monk, Lord Brotovich, Katie Kinsolo, Avoogadro Toast 11, Stucalicious, Fred Webber's Little Bit a Pud, Emily Lemons and Citadel Zombies.

Also, lockdown two, Electric Toryloo, Camp Surviving Pillowucker, Tank on Tank Tank Tank Bat, Sparkles is back Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-trucli-si-D Purvy-mice watching Mikey Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-Bat-Man A big fan Happy Birthday-Betty-Jus 42 Axel's Alive 95

Finn Tristam 3D, Kitty-Hawk, Big Titty Jesus 42 and Alan Claw Quayfewin, Don Akko, 7 Peter gets hit by an airplane Mr. Black, bumpiss Lorraine down in Africa, SpongeBobby Babylonie, Austin, Peter, Austin, Peter Osse. That was it, wasn't it? Peter get, Peter get shit with a shovel, not a boy or girl, but an other, evil waffles, the gazer patron, perhaps, and, rhetoric roll 489, Mr Macca, Alan please add an extra 50s worth, come at the Pog, Kevin from Con, and Awesome Fox 42, who is studying RIP.

Thank you, everyone. That's your pod squad for this week. Once again, streamlabs.com forward slash poddiest donations. Three pounds or more to get a shout out. Mikey, where can people find you? At Parrot Boy on the Twitters. It's where I do all my internet things now.

So if you're remotely interested in me, go give me a cheeky follow. It's also a good place to keep up to date with my various streaming activities. Fantastic. And Peter, where can people find? us. We also have personal Twitter accounts at That Peter Austin and at Confused underscore dude, but we're also together, not in that way, on Team Triple Jump, both on Twitter, Facebook,

but more importantly on Twitch and YouTube, where we're doing streams and lists and worst games ever, and when things are better again, we'll be doing things like Rules Boss and Live Action Challenges and cooking and all those sorts of things that you know and love. Hmm, delightful. And just one final reminder, especially in terms of Pod Squad, next episode will be the final episode of 2020. It will not only be our Christmas episode, but it will be the last one we do this year. Then we'll be taking a break for a few weeks over Christmas and New Year, and we'll be back in 2021. So if you want to get a special Christmas message read on the podcast or whatever, now's the time to get it in. We will, of course, tell you on social media, well, I say social media, Twitter, when we're approaching the deadline for Pod Squad but if you do want a Christmas message read out now's the time

maybe give us some thought leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice it helps something to do with algorithms do we have a final question would you eat

sausage and mash meat face baby Yoda or would it be too cute I mean personally yes how many words do you think you could write about it yeah not a thousand

there we go fucking hell well thank you so much for listening everybody we'll be back in a couple of weeks time look after yourselves bye bye