Podiots - Podiots: Episode 78 - Small Boy, Small Wilson

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Mikey is on a round-the-world tour of disappointment, Peter has some poo news, and Ben's exploring the real Gotham. Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord   Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions apply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explore Volvo.com. My thing last week was super divisive, apparently. I know, I saw that. Oh, really? In fact, let me pull up the comments. I checked the comments the other day,

and Jesus, like, I knew that some people wouldn't be able to hear the thing just because, you know, I think it's, there's an element of, like, if you don't quite know what you're listening for, especially people who didn't know the songs like obviously they're not going to know or didn't know the videos that I was playing

but like I've had there are some messages someone said I'm sitting here literally crying with laughter the MIDI tracks were absolute gold Ben didn't you say one of your friends thought it was like hysterical I thought it hysterical so someone else said I think like the MIDI thing

was like one of the best things we've ever had and then all the comments at the bottom the Tiny Peter Middy thing was so insufferable and obnoxious that it almost made me rage quit the podcast come on TP you can do better than that which is strong stuff and then you know man I don't hear shit with that middy stuff

the Peter thing was almost unhearable so like it really the middy stuff was a bit much for me someone said here so not only did it just split people in terms of who could and couldn't hear it but like the people who couldn't hear it really hated it which is you know

they're just sad because they're left out of the joke that's it. They're just lashing out, Peter, because they don't understand. Yeah. I think it's the people who couldn't hear it were people who are driving, because I was sat there at home at my desk with my eyes closed, using all my concentration to hear those things. That's the way to enjoy it, not carrying down a road,

trying to focus on a road while trying to decipher succulent Chinese meal out of bashing of pianos. Yeah. One person said that they don't even know the videos, but they actually heard the word garlic in the... in the Michael Jugson one even though they didn't know it yeah

fucking hell I liked it too I thought it was really good oh no yeah I'm not I'm not saying it in the sense that oh that's sad podiat is cancelled but I just I thought it was interesting that like some people thought it was brilliant and some people thought it was dreadful it's just quite funny that it split people so much

it's fair it is kind of both of those oh yeah it is horrible Oh yeah Hello everybody and welcome to Poddiots, the official Vidyat's podcast It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home

and obey the law of the three us where everybody brings A thing A long to talk about I'm Ben I'm Peter. And I'm having a massive throwback Thursday at the minute. Oh.

Is that even a thing? Is it throwback Friday or throwback Thursday? I think it's Thursday. Throwback Saturday. Throwback Friday, it would be. Yeah. I'm currently sat in our old recording room in the Oggscast office, the room where we did pretty much everything,

where Skyrim Zoo was recorded, where I tried to eat a whole sandwich at once during the fortnight video and coughed it up all over the chair. This is a room filled with history. That's not the actual video's room for those wondering, but that's the main sort of booth that we recorded all of our computer stuff at. Yeah, recording room one.

Because we're coming out of the headphones, we're technically in there too. Yeah. Hey, there you go. It's a reunion. Roll back. Roll back. Everyone except Dave.

No, Dave. It's very sad. Guys, do you want some drinks? Thanks. Welcome everyone. To the podcast, this is a stupid podcast, and you'll discover why very soon. However, if you would like to support our stupidity, which you can financially, you can go to streamlabs.com forward slash poddiots donations with an S on the end. If you donate three pounds or more, you can get a shout out at the beginning in the end of the podcast and join Pod Squad.

Mikey, you have the Pumpy Platoon. Oh boy hide your kids hide your wife because the word butcher's in town We start with The high elf's anus glands Thanks for that

Timmy Mallet Stan I simp for Ben's big Ben Let's not read into that too much My marriage is in shambles Might be the same person Kermit the band the Pogs

or the Pogs I guess Poogs The poogs yes That's me trying to speak properly Podiat's doesn't Uncure the sad Oh I like to think we at least help a bit

It doesn't uncure it So it does cure it There we go Bam there we go We got a generous donation from Jack J.D. Bradshaw He's been a little bit cheeky He's asked a question but

Oh Boo bad Jack do that but we'll allow it on this occasion okay he says hey guys never really get the chance to support you guys on pod squad but the planet's aligned so now i can finally do so with that said i have a question is there any kid shows from your childhood that plays a big part in who you are today uh well simpson's not necessarily kid show for me but i've got it on my skin and it's part of my daily daily language i guess it's an obvious answer but probably dick and dom in that, like, it sort of influenced vidiots to some extent, and therefore poddiots.

There we go. Babe station. Perfect. Let's move on. Absolutely perfect. We move on to Tommy the Wank Engine. Wanks it to vidiots. Oh, dearie me.

You remember what you asked people to do last time, Mikey? Yeah, this is the opposite of what I wanted. This is not that, is it? I said be nice, not explicit. Mr. Blair. Cat Deeley eats plastic bags. Oh. Big sweaty dong loves Podiat's.

Oh, God. Oh, it's lovely. Always an adventure podcast. Bring back Rules Boss. I voted for you, 2018. Brotovic's favourite podcast. Whoops, I did a control splat. I have a good one.

Podiot's number one podcast ever. Thank you. thanks Stephen Scoredes and the generous Ben, Peter and Mikey are lovely that's how you do it Hi Vidyets boys

I was thinking to myself at the end of the last podcast how I would love some way of showing my allegiance to whichever platoon I am in maybe a set of badges I could buy from the Yog site with 10% off using code Vidiots I'll just print those out at home

and mail them out to everyone Yeah that way I was going to say do you feel like fighting the merch team, Michael, for several months. If you want to see those badges any time the next two years, probably not. Anyway. Thank you, though. Thank you very much. Nice of you to say so.

Try it yourself. Make your own badge. Try yourself. Tiny troop is this week made up by Jizzdon by Neptune. The very generous deluxe man in your pants who said, Hello, Bon Botter, Beta Boston and Bichael Bonson. Hope you are well and are. counting down the days before licking doors and windows can recommence.

Until then, have some money. Praise B to the Mighty Meatface at Deluxe underscore Man on Twitter. 100 at 50 points. Thank you. Freddie and his dad's yeah. Emily Lemons. Katie Kinsolo.

Grumble von Bombolidoo. Cheggers got a house. Well done Cheggers. Minges out for Poddiots. Podiat saved my marriage. Oh. An ecumenical matter. Does anyone know what that word means?

An ecumenical. Representing a number of different Christian churches. Oh, that word, yes. Okay. Mikey and Peter are so funny. It was very generous and said, but Ben still owes me 20 pounds. Ben, you're ignoring my calls and emails and messenger pigeons.

I want my money. give me my money or bring back memory cards this is your last warning and then in brackets it says running out of 20 pound notes for these messages well thank you i mean i don't know what to say keep trying come get it uh big tith jesus 42 was very generous and said following up from last time i love some of the ideas you boys came up with for a new name for me but i can't change it it's the principle of it there's not one thing wrong with the word titty ever but thanks for your suggestions boys you rule I think you were banned because of the word Jesus. That's what I think.

Yeah, that's true. Or the 42. I mean, it's very close to 420 and it encourages drug use. Too many numbers. Bad Dragon Up the Bum Makers. Potato goes in, potato goes in, mash comes out. You missed drunk wrestling. Oh, you...

You miser'sed. You misused drunk wrestling. Matt's done some my pedal legs. Podiot's cured my clefts. clap, your cheggers, you're chegging daughter, and Mikey said he has skin cheese. Oh, I don't want to know. God, he's getting worse. There's nothing supportive in here at all.

Moving on to the fast troop, fast crew, I can't remember, anyway, Podiot's, it's a podcast, thank you. The very generous, you guys are shite, JK, I love you, who said, I've beenched every episode in just over a month. I can't get enough. Finally, I've reached the current episode and figured it was time to pay up. Thank you for being such podiots. Thank you. Big smelly, batty giblets, which is just disgusting. The very generous soft checks-it, who says, I don't know, this is a lot of pressure.

How's Irish Dave? Love you, bye. I don't think he's well. I spoke to about a month ago, and he said he was doing well and has a child. That's the latest we have. Yeah. He is with child. Dave is always grand. Yeah.

Crispy... I found it. It sounds like I was struggling with that. Crispy wank sheet. Prince Peace of praise cakes. Yes. Oh, fucking ow. Loud dabad-de-dabadai.

Very good. Yeah. Priest potato plops. The very generous Commander Shepherd 42. I am Commander Shepherd 42. And this is the best podcast on the Citadel. I'm drowning in final essays. all ends on the 22nd. You boys, the Walrus clan and the flannel fam have gotten me through this

horrid semester. Dick's salutes to you all. Foxlove. Thank you. Best of luck. Middy Cyrus, septuple jump, poddy it's best ever gets me hard. There's one. Mr. Macca, someone's pinched me winkles. Don Acco 7, Ben's Chevy Matisse, I just keep, sorry, just keep swimming ash, Mr. Mallard in the corner, Trinfist Fristam. Big Titty Jesus, 24. Nice. I think that might have been a typo, but there we are. Thank you, everyone.

That's your Pod Squad for this week. If you'd like to join Pod Squad and get a shout out at the end of the show as well as at the beginning, and you can go to streamlabs.com forward slash potty. It's donations. Donat. Donate three pounds or more. Right. Peter, over to you.

Got some questions here. The first question comes from Justin at Drawn by Justin, who asks a very important question we've never considered. We all know about the Michael Jugson, but what is the Peter Jugson and the Ben Juxson? So, of course, Michael Juxon is a crazy northeastern boy.

He's the, you know, the Juxon version of Michael Johnson. It's like my inner beast, I like to do. Yeah, exactly. So what would be the inner beast of me and Ben? Oh, fuck. What would he be doing? What would he be saying? When he popped his head further closer.

I think Peter Juggson is, um, uh, this is such a tired joke at this point, but just National Heritage Tour Guide, I think. Yeah. Well, he's not only a fan, but now he works for it and it's his life. He's gone fucking wild at Warwick Castle. I bet you're the fucking best at doing tours around Warwick Castle like. I fucking did.

Do you want to see a crown? Um, Christ. I don't think you'd find Ben Juggson outside. Right. I think he'd just be sort of comatose on his, on his sofa, having eaten too much food. Surrounded by trophies and KFC. Yeah, I think that's probably, that's the visual you're imagining is that's it. You're not going to find him on the street, though.

No, I suppose not. With pupils the size of saucers. Just instead of like dollar eyes, you've just got trophy eyes constantly. Yeah. Yeah, sweating KFC gravy. Yeah. What a picture. What a smell?

What would Dave Benson, Jugson, be like? I mean, Dave Benson, I feel like, is the Jogson of a far milder David Phillips somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. He's already peaky could be. What, 150 points? We're all looking at a picture of him holding a pitter bread at the moment. And I just, what a man.

Just the best. of the best, what can beat that? I'm going to zoom in on that, but it's got so many empty shelves. There's just nothing on them. Yeah, what's with that? Why are his shelf so empty? I don't know. That's why he was going to store his DVDs that were stacked up in his little recording room.

Oh, yeah, he's not going around to it yet. Is that a rolling pin or a small baguette? See, I was thinking that. It looks like a baguette, doesn't it? Yeah. It doesn't look uniform enough to be a rolling pin. You don't need two breads. No.

How did we get on to Dave Benson Phillips? How's this happened? You mentioned his, hang on, has he got a bottle of, like, febrize there in the corner? Why has it got that in his bath in his kitchen? What, the purple one that seems like the nozzle is facing into a multi-pack of pond bears. Yeah. Let's just disinfect the bread, I guess. Yeah, it's just to the left of the landmine that's sitting on his hob.

Yeah, I was trying to work that out as well. Like, he's got two different, if that is a baguette, he's got two different. two different kinds of bread, which is too much bread. Yeah. For an episode of Come Dine with me. And then that landmine thing. It's on a chopping board, actually.

It looks like the thing that you put your kettle on. Oh, yeah. But there's a kettle over there as well. And I don't know what... Is it a saucepan lid? But there's no saucepan to go with it. So... We're going to have to ask him.

What an image. I like the rule of kitchen rule hidden behind the appliance, which I guess probably gets quite hot. So the fire hazard as well. Why not? Oh, yeah, just slot that in there. And he's got like a towel rail as well on the back wall there with nothing on it. A towelless rail.

It's all just bare. Twitter.com forward slash vidiates official if you'd like to see this photo for yourself. Yeah, I'll be from a couple of days ago. Have a look at it. God. We answered that question, didn't we? We did. Something about Juxens, I don't know.

It's time for a thing. Who would like to go first? I could go first or you could go first. I'm happy to go first. Michael, please do. All right, I've got a little game for us. Oh. It's called

Guess the Landmark from the one-star TripAdvisor Review. Okay. I like this. Full disclosure, I ripped this from a YouTube video, but I didn't watch the YouTube video. I saw the title of the YouTube video.

I thought, fuck it, I'm stealing that. So this is all. I trawled through hundreds of TripAdvisor reviews to bring this selection. So I didn't really. rip it off. I just stole the idea. It's different, alright? Okay. So I've got a mix of countries and locations, but the first few are located within the UK to give you just a bit of a hint. Some of them I've got multiple reviews, some of them I don't. I'll try, I'll try

not to give too much away, but if you do get very stuck, I can give a few hints, but I like to think some of these speak themselves with a little bit of thinking. Okay. Okay, so this is our first review. There's only one for this landmark. The title of this review is me. It's just a big clock. Nothing more, nothing less. I've got a grandfather clock at home that is just as thrilling to look at.

Are these all UK-based? These first few are, I'll let you know when we fly off to another country. I mean, that one certainly is. We all know what that is. Yeah, it's got to be large Benjamin, isn't it? Large Benjamin. It is indeed large Benjamin. They're going to get harder, so don't get complacent, all right?

Okay. I'm not making any promises. All right, new landmark. Title of this review is Woo-hoo. Not good at all. To be honest, I feel it is an enlarged ferris wheel, which is given too much publicity. Right. Did they just take a trip across the river by any chance?

Yeah. Just complaining about everything in London. Yeah, all these reviews are just from the same manner. and he's truly awful day out. I just love the juxtaposition of woohoo, not good at all. That is, of course, the London eye. We should actually say that we know what it is. Yes.

What it actually is, yeah. Absolutely correct. Okay, starting getting a bit tricky now. I've got two reviews for this place. The title is, they're not even at home. Dull. Concrete block in the middle of a roundabout. One wonders about their sumptuous lifestyle, a few hundred meters from the beggars and the pimps.

Oh, and the pimps. And the pimps. Don't forget the pimps. I'll continue on to the second one, so I'll do you guess it. Big posh house. All around about. Also a concrete block. It's a big posh house with a big gate and fence, and the owners keep the curtains shut so as not to see the riffraff. It baffles me how you have to wrestle to get to the front to look in. Come and

stand outside my flat. We'll do a little dance at the window and chuck out the odd fruit pastel. What? So when you said the bit about the roundabout, it really threw me, but I'm fairly sure that's Blenham Palace now, is it? Yes, absolutely. By Blenham, do you mean Buckingham? Yes, that is exactly what I mean. Blenham Palace is near where I grew up. I was going to say, yeah. I wasn't sure if that was... Wasn't she if that was like a local way of calling it that I hadn't come across it?

Oh yeah, old Blenny Palace. Oh, yeah, it's Ganduna Blenny. Let's go see the blends. Okay, we move on to the next landmark. Just one review for this one. That's it. Very disappointing. Is that all?

No, there's more. Try and guess it from that. Stonehenge. This was on my husband's... and my top things to see in London when we were there last week. I really wish I had just walked around the outside to take some pictures

instead of wasting 17 pounds per person. I couldn't get over the lack of things to see inside. The torture chamber was pathetic. I was going to get tortured. The Ravens looked ill. Yeah, I think you got it. You'll see better and more torture devices at an X-rated store.

Oh, God. I think there's one not far from there, actually. I think there's like a sex museum near the Tower of London. That was next on their list of places to go in London. And then they got there and they're like, God, the medieval architecture was rubbish in the sex museum. Not fun at all. It's much better up the street.

Any guesses on that one? I think you've got it. The tar. The tar of London. The tar, indeed. Nice. Okay, we're moving away from London now. It's getting more.

more and more dangerous. I've got three for this one just because there was quite a few quite a few good ones. Okay. I mean, you're going to get it straight away. Title, just a few rocks. I was disgusted to find this is just a few rocks to look at and nothing to do. They should knock it down and build an arcade or fun fair.

Fuck's sake. Don't waste your time. Nothing to do? What did you expect? can't even climb on them I reckon if you move this landmark next to the London eye they'd have a great day because there's something to do while you see it

yeah don't waste your time what a silly place what a silly place fucking neolithic man idiot I am so curious about which because some of these just suddenly take a right turn into are they taking the piss like it was this written

an arcade yeah I've definitely not seeing all these are one 100% truthful reviews. Definitely some facetiousness in here, but they're still quite funny. Next review for this one is such a shame. If this is our most if this is our most visited site

outside of London, then we must do better. English heritage run the site but it needs someone like Branson to present this site to the world. What does that even mean? What are they expecting from it?

See, I knew that this would be on here, because I know that lots of people, for one thing, think that Stonehenge, we're talking about here, I'm sure, is they expect it to be bigger when they get there. They think these blocks, I mean, they're flipping big enough, if you imagine the fact that Neolithic man managed to erect them. But even so, despite the fact that they're like, what, 10 feet tall, higher, higher than that probably, people expect them to be like two stories high or like a story and a half. you know, they think it's going to be towering over them. And I don't know, like you say, what more are they expecting? You know, this is like... I've seen the pictures, right? Yeah.

We've got to do better as a country. We have, yeah. We've got to upgrade it, stick in that arcade, maybe a water slide. Virgin Henge. It's not even got a Nando. Shit. Yeah. All right, I'll leave that one there.

I've just reading the last review. It's not as fun. We got it. We got it. All right. Now we're moving far away. from the south one review here

looks like a giant rusty bathroom tap I know what this is well after all the hype surrounding this art installation I know where to direct people looking for scrap metal

enough said oh dear right so sure it looks a bit rusty but I think it looks great on the side of the road yeah yeah give it a little cheeky nod

when you drive past It welcomes you with open arms It's the signal of home It is One star It's crap It doesn't even fly Where's its fucking halo

I saw one of you Where the guy was complaining I didn't really enjoy it But maybe that's because I'm not religious For fuck safe These people can vote It's just What is wrong with people

This is why Britain's in the shitter I'm a bit concerned that they're not giving full representation and also building a devil of the north just next to it. Where's the devil of the north? Come on. Yeah.

It's the angel of the north. Of course it is. Of course it is. I dare they take my lord's name in vain. Right. Let's move away. Away from the UK. Oh. One review for this one. Question mark, question mark.

Don't understand why it's a tourist attraction. Honestly, it's a bunch of metal in a rather phallic shape I don't get it and was not impressed in a phallic shape I'm trying to think I mean that could be

any structure to be yeah it could just any skyscraper or some sort of monument have you got any more no that's it but it's one the biggies

okay and you say we're away from the UK now yeah we've gone we've gone across across the ocean a little bit and it's made a metal. Oh, could it...

Oh, no, it's not... It's not going to be the Statue of Liberty, is it? No, no, no. Thank God. I was going to say she is not phallic. Yeah, God, oh God, yeah, I don't want to see there, remember. Think Europe. Oh, Europe, across the... across the channel. Is it Le Tower Eiffel? Oh, of course.

Bingo, bangor. Just a bunch of metal in a phallic ship, right? Yeah, it's just a giant dick. Step it up, France. You need to do better as a country. All right. Next one, we're getting in a plane and we're going on a long-ass journey for this one. Too long, I didn't even bother. Okay, I built a just wall.

So, I'm just reading that verbatim. I don't know what that means. Why should I be impressed? Back in my days, the walls were more beautiful and they didn't have to be so tall. Come on. I didn't feel good with my leg that day and my wife really wanted a visit. And I said, okay, let's do it. but I soon understand that it was definitely too long for me

and I got tired. I fall in front of my wife because of this wall so I'm not going to go back there. You falled in front of the wall, man. That's embarrassing. So do these people think that when you go to the Great Wall of China, which I'm assuming is what we're talking about, that you're expected to walk the whole thing,

like walk the entire... Oh, it was too long for me, couldn't make it all the way. The Great Wall of China was too great. Back in my day, walls were shorter. Is that basically what he was saying? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. What a strange complaint.

Oh, I've got another one for this one, didn't realize. The title is, all right. It's long, but so is the M6, and that goes on for miles. At least you can drive on that, and it does the job. Fucking hell. Rubbish, these people. Well, Great Wall's a bit too great for me, actually. Do they have a less impressive wall?

The lesser wall of China. Oh, God, it's amazing. All right, this one, this is a tricky one. It's, well, I read it out and then I'll start giving hints, okay? So, yeah, this might be obscure. Rubbish, not worth the weight. I've got three reviews of this one. Wish we had not bothered.

We had to wait ages, and when we got in there, there was not a lot to see. Within 10 minutes, the wife and I were bored. and wish we had gone for something to eat, or better still, to the pub. So I think one thing that keeps in your mind is the juxtaposition between these reviews and the place they're talking about. Too boring for me, not into history. The most boring travel experience of my life, the ecstasy pill I took prior to going, didn't take away the terrible boredom. And lastly, didn't bother. This was so not what we were expecting, which was an original house.

house. Instead, it is some glass museum that you can't get into unless you book months in advance. And as we decided, it would probably be quite depressing. We went to an escape room instead. So, museum, house, depressing. Depressing. In Europe? In Europe, uh, in the, in the land of prostitutes and weed. Okay, I was, I was thinking the Anne Frank Museum. Is it that? It is the Anne Frank Museum. Oh, that's so horrible. I mean, I was about to say Awshvitz.

Yeah. Close, but yeah. I was thinking what's the worst thing they could be talking about? Boring, depressing. That's horrendous. Don't even care about girls, so went to the arcade.

Yeah. We went to an escape room instead. Wish we'd gone for some food. Oh, God. That's nice that you've got the choice to go for some food. It's nice. Or leave the house.

Yeah, I hope you enjoyed that. Jesus Christ. There was one review that was complaining of how cramps the house was. Oh yeah. Do you remember when Justin Bieber went there and wrote in the guest book thing? Anne Frank would definitely have been a believer. I hope

Anne would have been a believer. Good up. So awful. Sickening. All right. Still, in Europe one review for this one. The title's not very, very informational, but overpriced. Yes,

yes, it's nice to see once. But you're not missing anything by not going in. Why'd you have to pay to see the inside? I don't know. If they had holographic 3D gladiator shows or something else, sure. It was nice resting on a thousand-year relic though. Right. Is that the Coliseum? That's the Coliseum. In Rome. Of course it is. That's in the middle of a roundabout as well. Some of concrete. Go on get some holograms in there. Get two pack in. Why not? Have you been to Wembley Stadium? So that's way better.

I saw Sting there. It was great. Don't see Sting in the Coliseum, do you? All right. We're going, all, continuing, we're going quite far around the other side of the earth here. This is one review. This is a tricky one, so I'll help all I can. But the title, I think, is the most, well, the most leading bit.

Silly damned egg carton. Damned waste of money from its inception. Too far from the city proper and more often than not, The shows are elitist rubbish, poor parking. The shows. Egg carton. Yeah, I think shows an elitist is the big hint there. Oh, is it the Sydney Opera House?

Hey, very well done. That was a hard one. Egg carton. It's not really an egg carton, but okay. It's more of orange segments, I think. Yeah, elitist orange segment. Yeah. Wow.

All right, everyone to the last thing. We're going back to Europe for this one, and this is a small attraction. Okay, sorry, to compose myself. Small boy, small dick. It's a small statue, not impressive. Is it David? No, no, it's not.

No, it's the Peter Pan Fountain. Oh, I don't know it by that name. Could you describe it for me? Oh, or is it not Peter? I'm thinking of two different. There is a Peter Pan, but it's just, it's that fountain of the boy pissing, isn't it? Yeah, mannequin piss. Right, yeah. I don't think that is Peter Pan, actually.

That's a different one, but yeah. It's called mannequin piss. Is that what is called? Yeah, what does that translate to? I think it just means the pissing boy, mannequin piss. The little pissing man. Brilliant. Yeah, I'd go see that.

To be fair. And there's one last review for that one. Pathetic. Worst tourist attraction ever. But good reflection of what a stupid, pathetic country, Belgium is for an obsession with pissing statues. Wow. Small boy, small dick.

Can we get away with calling the podcast that, do you think? Small boy, small boy. That's what I was thinking, yeah. I don't feel comfortable about that. Yeah, we could get put on a list for uploading a video called small boy, small dick, I think. So maybe not. well michael that was a real i feel like i've been on a round the world tour to shit tourist sites me too thank you michael that's all right

imagine going to another country and seeing the best tourist attractions they have to offer and then thinking nah slough is better and then going home and thinking i'm fine here we've got normal walls and we've got arcades and i can go get nandoes any anytime i want there's no weather spoons here couldn't get pint and chips for three quid didn't even do fucking curry club step it up yeah I should look for reviews of

Taj Mahal might have been oh wow thank you Michael maybe I'll do this again some time that's fun

yeah yeah it's wonderful you should you should you should okay I've got a question here which is tourist attraction related

really so a good one lapsed spirit guide at riding on my zorse on Twitter says, who would you carve onto your own personal Mount Rushmore? Rules are nobody currently on Mount Rushmore

as there was a risk that we might pick American presidents. So it doesn't necessarily have to be a vidiates one because that would just be four people from the VCU and frankly, I'm sick to death of answering questions about the VCU. Yes. so maybe we each nominate just a person

that we think deserves to have their head carved into a mountain and then maybe between us we have to pick one more person so we can all select one and despite having known this question was coming I'm having to think long and hard about who I would select I know who I want as almost as a form of apology I want to carve the head of Michael

owner of the corner shop Michael's in Whitburn the shop from which I stole the dairy milk bar years ago and still feel bad about to this day and I just like the thought of people going up to the monument and reading the plaque and going

oh that's one hell of a way to confess Michael I hope he's doing okay I hope it didn't cause him any stress would you have it on the plaque as to like the reason why he was chosen for the mountain Yeah, I think on Thursdays I'd be there shackled up

and people can throw things out of punishment I think it'll be customary It'll become like an almost religious experience People will come and leave dairy milk bars At the base of the mountain I like that There we go I would pick

It wouldn't have to be specifically this individual But just perhaps Coco the gorilla Like the man in Not the man in the suit. The gorilla's not a, you know, that's not a being. No, no. I mean, either the man wearing the suit or just any other famous animal,

like, you know, I don't know, rocket raccoon or just whoever. Or harambe, purely to confuse alien visitors in thousands and thousands of years as to why presumably three human beings and one gorilla were chosen to be carved into a mountain. It shows the progression into Planet of the Ips, doesn't it? Yeah. Harambe, you're probably right. That's probably the best one, rather than the man inside of Coco. Yeah.

It's a toss-up for me between... Because I think it would be really funny to have a furry on Mount Rushmore. Right. Because it would make a lot of people really cross. Yeah. But part of me also thinks that Spider-Man should be up there on Mount Rushmore, too. Oh, yeah. just a big spidey mask

you know most recognizable superhero in the world Batman also very popular but Spider-Man he appeals to everyone he does can't dislike Spider-Man where did you find that I just googled

oh my God I just googled Spider-Man Mount Rushmore because I thought that's probably been in the comics at some point hasn't it and I got a lovely bit of fan art wow brilliant that's incredible

I can change my answer to Coco the Gorilla so that we're covered for furries because that basically is just a person in a fursona suit. That is true, yeah, that is someone's first owner. Yeah. For sure. Okay, yeah, that works.

So we've got Michael the man who runs the local corner shop who Michael stole from. Yeah. Cocoa the gorilla, which we all know has a secret man chiseled underneath the Cocoa the gorilla exterior. Inside the mountain, there's another man chiseled. There's a smaller man. and then Spider-Man. You say we're adding a fourth?

Yeah, well it's four people on Mount Rushmore. How about someone who really deserves it from history? Someone who would now look, it would just complete the bonkers lineup, like Albert Einstein or Marie Curie or Mother Teresa or something with Spider-Man. I mean, Albert Einstein would look amazing carved into a man. mountain because of his hair like imagine the lengths they'd have to go to to get his sort of wispy explosion of hair yeah it might be a good shout i like einstein i'm just just imagining like slow pan over all the faces and then just finishes on einsteins that are yes the true patriots

of course yeah yeah i think i think that's that's it we should start getting funding together because i want to see that yeah isn't it isn't it like if you really think about it it it's absolutely just astounding and also completely unsurprising that America

chose to carve the heads of four presidents into a mountain like we all take it for granted because we all

just know what Matt Rushmore is but like if Trump said that yeah it's fucking bonkers they're all it's just the presidency

is like a cult of personality isn't it they're just they're like they're not real people they are almost worshipped as as gods in some cases. Martyrs or gods, yeah.

It's mental. I did look into Mount Rushmore for my reviews, but all the one-star reviews were essentially saying the same thing. I can't believe they blew up a mountain for this. It's like that bit in Parks and Rec. I don't know if you guys are familiar, where Andy and, God, I've completely forgotten their name. That's embarrassing.

Andy and his wife, April, there we go, go on a road trip to see the Grand Canyon. And she drives him the whole way there because it's on his bucket list, and he wakes up and they go and look at it and like, wow, this is beautiful. And then he just says, where are the faces of the presidents? Amazing. Fantastic. Thank you. That's a good question. I like that.

That was fun. I've got some news here. And, I mean, it's been a common theme throughout some of the strange stories I've brought to Podiat's over the years. probably the ones that you guys have occasionally brought as well, where, you know, we sometimes occasionally delve into the world of poo. Of course.

No, we've never done this. I've decided to perhaps, if I can, keep you in the loop on future episodes on just poo news. So it's no longer just one of my weird stories that I sometimes bring along. It's a new segment. I'm calling it now. This is the beginning. of poo news.

This is the poos. This is the poos. The BBC Evening Poos. BBC Poos are 10. BBC Poos 24. Yes, absolutely. This one was submitted to me by Jack Squires on Twitter.

Thank you, Jack. You got sent a poo. I did get sent a poo news, yeah. It was a week or so ago, but I wanted to do the MIDI thing last time, which was a bad choice for some people. Could you call it a P-U box,

if someone sends you one. Yes, send it to my P-O-O-O-box. This is according to the Examinor Live.com.com. And the banner at the top says Yorkshire Live. So we're in a subsection of the examiner. News. Horror as Labrador gobbles up toddler poo after ambushing mum and son

at Hardcastle Craggs. I've been there. Wow. Were you there for this? Not that I recall Did they mistake you for the toddler? Yeah, I was just to have a quiet shit And it all went wrong

A mum had to yell at a dog owner After a giddy Labrador zoomed over To where her toddler son was having a poo And ate it The dog ended up covered in poo After ambushing the mum and her young son During a toilet stop Despite the owner's calls for him to come back

The toddler and his mum, Francesca Goodhart, were walking at Hardcastle Crags near Hebden Bridge when her toddler had to make an Alfresco toilet stop. They were interrupted by a chocolate Labrador who was off the lead

and frightened the toddler zooming around their legs before disturbingly eating the boy's excrement. Oh no. Ms. Goodhart said it was a beautiful day at Hard Castle Crags

as ever and we'd gone as ever, it's not always a beautiful day at Hard Castle Crags what on earth? Anyway, it was a beautiful day. day at Hard Castle Crags as ever and we'd gone and done the usual plodding around walking back up the steep and he did a bit of plopping around

plopping around walking back up the steep which is just a noun there's no hill after that or anything walking back up the steep above Gibson Mill got the inevitable mummy I need a poo from the little one

we were out of sight and out of the way behind a tree so I whipped his kecks down and dangled him over a nice mossy area so he couldn't be seen. And as he's there contemplating life as toddlers do when they're doing these things, this chocolate lab came bounding up the hillside, looking excited and wanting to say hello. Now, when you're a toddler in position, now, when you are in toddler position, sorry, now when you are in toddler position, your legs are kimbo, and toddler is dangled in your hands with his butt

sticking out, and the joyful moments comes, full stop. You've got a solid D in your GCSEs here. Well done. Thank you, Examiner Live. But, as with most blokes on the toilet, you don't just stop straight away because there might be more on the way, hyphen. You chill out a little bit.

Sorry, was that like a colloquialism for shitting? What was that bit about blokes? But as with most blokes on the toilet, I think it's just because the toddler is male. What the fuck does that, like, women just? always shit in one go? Yeah, I don't know. What's the implication?

I'm so baffled by the implication of that. It's a weirdly written. You know men always have to stop, start when we're having a poo. We've got to sit there. They've got to chill out a little bit, apparently. I always sit there for five minutes just to make sure. Yeah. But as with most blokes on the toilet, you don't just stop straight away because there might be more on the way.

You chill out a little bit. So he was in that dangling stage when we'd had one happy thud on the ground but waiting for a possible second when this dog appeared. This person really just making the most out of being in the paper and talking about their son having a shit, like it's very weird. It's like stretching out the word count for an essay, this. Yeah. This is still a quote, of course.

It was zooming around between my legs and the toddler was freaking out because this beast had just appeared under his bomb. It licked his bum and it sniffled at his bum and then it snuffled around beneath me I could hear the owner calling his dog but it was too exciting for the dog and it couldn't handle it then it found the treasure

that my toddler had left in the leaves and it just golloped it my arms were getting tired by this point because the toddler weighs 15 kilograms and so he's getting lower and lower to the ground whilst screaming about this dog Then, as the dog runs back under my legs again, it just did a full-on toilet paper dog wipe under my boy's bottom.

Sorry? Is that the tongue described? I think, no, I think the, so the toddler is drooping in the parents' arms, and it's quite low now, and the dog runs between the parents' legs, and as it does so, it's back wiped perfectly between the toddler's butt cheeks. This article is a disaster. What is happening?

It's not so much about the story. It's just the weird write-up that made me want to bring it. Spectacular. So the child has now wiped their bottom onto the dog, or vice versa sort of kind of the dog wiped itself onto the butt.

I think the dog owner was just embarrassed probably, and he heard the screams. I just wanted to get rid of the dog. And I just went, your dog's just eaten human shit as he ran up. off. At the time... Jesus Christ, Fenton.

At the time, the owner apologised repeatedly and reached out to Miss Goodhart after the event to apologize again. Do you want it back? I've got... Still got the shit here. Miss Goodhart thought it was nice and refreshing because of the number of people on Facebook who rightly complain

about the amount of dog turd on the pavement. Quote, to have the tables turned a bit and be sending a dog home covered in toddler shit rather than the other way round was a slight beautiful moment, said Miss Goodhart. Wow. Fucking hell.

Thank you, Yorkshire Live app. What a journey. Well persevered, Peter, through that writer. Yeah, that was a real, a real chore. The best bit of creative writing I've ever heard. That's, wow. That's news. Breaking Poos.

Breaking Poos. Wow, thank you, Peter. I look forward to hearing more about poos in the future and, of course, people who don't like to hear about poos skipping ahead. Yeah. So they don't have to hear about poos. Well, while you listen to poddiots, if you don't like hearing about poos?

It's got poo in the name, isn't it, really? What are you doing? So we've got a question here. The next question comes from Nile Gray at Lord of the Grey, who says, where's the creepiest place you've ever been? I'm talking haunted houses, spooky weirdos and unsettling vibes kind of places. Also, did you survive your visit? Thank you, Nile. So we've talked about spooky things that

we've sort of witnessed or that have happened to us, maybe, but what about weird spooky places you've been? I have one. Yeah. When I was very briefly on, very, very briefly on the road with WCPW, what culture's wrestling promotion in 20s, it would have been either 2016 or early 27. We did a show in Liverpool and I can't remember what the name of the venue is but I imagine there's some crossover audience that will know it and it's a really old theatre

and we went down into the bowels of the theatre to shoot like some backstage vignettes and all sorts of other stuff like that and it was just there was there was a basement but then there was like really low down like at the very bottom of the structure it was pitch black there was no lighting there was just like some ambient light in there which made it like a really great dingy place to shoot stuff yeah but it was it wasn't it didn't have a proper floor it was all like messed up concrete all uneven and in the middle there was like this big circular pool of water that was just pitch black and it was really weird and very ominous and i never went down there alone thankfully but it was definitely probably the spookiest place I've been, very strange. That does sound nightmarish, God.

Wow, that's pretty, pretty horrible. Sadly, I don't think I've ever actually put myself in many, like, physical buildings at least that are spooky, but as a boy who has a longstanding fear of the dark, we were shooting our dissertation film, God, it was like 2016 now, 2017, and we had one night shoot where we were just in the middle of Northumberland, in the woods. Like, we were like 20 minutes walk away from the car. We walked so far to get at this location. And, like, it was just total darkness at this point.

We had a few lights with us. But I just, I've never felt so anxious in my life. Just, like, looking behind myself and seeing nothing but pitch blackness. Even though I was surrounded by about 10 people, it just, oh, it just was horrible. And people started making fun of me. I'd go, oh, Mikey, what was that noise? I was like, oh, stop it. I'm going to cry.

Stop it. I don't like it. I was at a friend's house once and they lived on, I think they lived in a house that was on farmland, like in a farm yard. They weren't, it wasn't their farm,

but it was like the farmer was like renting houses out on his land. And he sort of kind of let my friend and like other kids who live there sort of wander around the farm and kind of do what they want. And there was some really old, creepy farm

buildings there like these really old crumbling stone ones and after we'd had our tea which was sort of your classic fish fingers and potato smiley's fair it was wonderful we went on a little wander and first he was like trying to freak me out with a story that I think was just completely made up where he said that there was this dog out in the village that no one owned it it was like this stray and it had been attacking sheep and stuff and that you know there was just this like scary dog out there. So I was already on edge. And then we went into this weird building that it had like a had a load of coal on one end just piled high. And then on the other end, 40 quid a gram. Yeah, exactly. I don't know what the price was. So there was all this coal piled on one end.

Then at the other end, there was a tractor, but it had no wheels on. It was just like the sort of chassis of a tractor, like a really old fashioned one. And there was this beam or several beams going across the roof and one of them charmingly had a noose hanging from it which was just

I'm assuming that was some kind of functional reason for it to be there like it was for I don't even know I can't begin to imagine what it was for

but it must have been for winching something or dangling like a hay net for a horse or something like that I don't think it was prepped

ready to hang someone with but just seeing a noose in this dark, creepy farm building was awful. Oh, Jesus. That would give me nightmares for years, I think. Jesus. Yeah, it was pretty horrible. So. Oh, bless.

How old were you? I was, well, it was just after I moved to that area. So I must have been about nine or ten, I think. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a lot. Fun. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a bit of a weird village.

It was like the next village over. and he lived right on the edge of it and he told me about this dog and we went walking with his dogs one time and we like this guy was coming the other way and the guy was holding a stick but he was holding it right at the end like it was sort of he was kind of wielding it as a weapon and I said why did that guy have a stick and he and he just said well you need to carry one and that's all I was like what does that mean well you need to carry one well you need to carry one I think he just sort of quite enjoyed giving me the creeps And then there was this peacock as well

That walked around the farm that had no feathers on its back It was just sort of bald and weird and skinny all down its back So just kind of a strange place really Absolutely nightmare She'll have to give it a visit It's weird Yeah So it's time for Ben's thing

Yes I have an article here from Amusingplanet.com I've read the article it's not very amusing but anyway Why Batman's Gotham City is named after a Nottinghamshire village Wow Yes

It's the people of Goatum I believe it's pronounced Exactly, Goatum So I don't know if you want to get that obvious joke out of the way now Before I go any further Ha! Goatim There we go, thank you Peter So a lot of people in the UK may be familiar

with the fact that there is actually I'm going to slack instead of Discord There we go there is actually a village in the UK called Gotham except it's pronounced Gotham as Peter said and why is that? Why does it share her name? What's his connection there? Well, we're going to find out today so here we are it's from Koshik Patawery

I've probably butched his name Gotham is a fictional city in the DC universe but its namesake is not located across the Atlantic in South Nottinghamshire this quiet little village with a handful of houses a church and a couple of shops, is completely unlike the city of crime and corruption it lends its name to. For starters, Gotham is actually pronounced

Goatum, which means goat village, and not Gotham, the way we pronounce the fictional city Batman calls home. While Batman's Gotham is a teeming metropolis, the English village is a sleepy settlement in the rural heart of Nottinghamshire, yet both share a connection to a legend that started 800 years ago.

Ooh. Here we go. The story goes that In the early 13th century King John of England who is much despised by his subject was supposed to pass through Gotham on his goatum

Do you mind if I just call it Gotham because I'm going to... Goat for it. Yeah. Goat for it. Thank you. Hey. Was supposed to pass through Gotham on his waiting to Nottingham Castle.

In those times, wherever the Royal Carriage Road the path would become a public highway and thus the King's Land. This meant that certain landowners of Gotham were going to inevitably lose their land and it upset them. Rumor also spread that the king was not merely passing through

but wished to build a hunting lodge at Gotham or perhaps even a castle. Gotham Castle sounds rad as well. Yeah. It does, doesn't that? So the wise men of Gotham gathered one evening and hatched a plan to keep the king and his men away. They feigned madness. Madness was thought to be infectious.

Hang on. Yeah, the writing in this is a bit weird. Madness was thought to be infectious that could spread from person to person just like chicken pox or common cold deer. A 2014 paper by Jessica Marsh and Lindsay Shanks published in the journal Memory and Cognition found that some people still believe that mental illness could spread from an affected individual

to a healthy person, which is obviously bollocks. When King John's knights arrived to inspect how the villages were preparing to receive the king, he saw the villages engaging in a variety of absurd tasks, such as attempting to drown an eel and building a fence around a bush to prevent a cuckoo from escaping. The trick worked.

and the knights made a hasty withdrawal fearing they would catch the village's madness. The king never set foot on the village, it says. Stories about these bizarre antics and how the wise men of Gotham fooled the king were passed down from generation to generation until they appeared in the written format for the first time in 1565 in a book entitled Merry Tales of the Mad Men of Gotham. I have a photo of the thing here. Here it is. This is them trying to build a fence around it.

Bush to keep the cuckoo. There it is. Three centuries later, in 1807, American writer Washington Irving, which is a very American name, launched a satirical periodical called the Salma Gundy Papers, I think,

where he frequently lampooned New York City's culture and politics. He repeatedly called New York City Gotham, based on the medieval stories of alleged stupidity of the people of Gotham, Nottinghamshire. Somehow, the name stuck, and Gotham became a popular nickname for New York City

and is still used today in shop names and establishments such as the Gotham's Centre for New York City history. That was it. It made it sound like there was going to be more. It was one such name, Gotham Jewelers, from which Bob Kane and Bill Finger found inspiration when they created the Caped Crusader in the 1930s. The link between the two places was acknowledged only in 1996 in a story called CityScape,

written by Dennis O'Neill in the Batman Chronicles No. 6. In this story, a villain decides to build an asylum in a forest to house the criminally insane and proposes to name it Gotham, after a village in England where, according to common belief, all are bereft of their wits. And then there's a couple of photos of the actual panel itself. For years, the chairman of Gotham Parish Council tried to have her village twinned with New York City. She wasn't successful. But New York's then-mare, Rudolf Giuliani, did send her an assuring letter wishing Gotham well.

and acknowledging their cultural and historical link. The legend of Gotham and its connection with Batman is depicted in a sculpture, sorry, unveiled a few years ago in the center of Gotham. It's a wind vane with a decorative ribbon encircling the pole telling the story of King John's visit. A tiny figure of a Batman can be seen climbing the side, if I can get my words out. So here it is. There's little Batman climbing up the side of the thing.

Oh, there he is. There we are. That is because I was aware of Gotham in Nottinghamshire, but I didn't know it actually really did have a link to Batman. Oh, did you not? No, no idea. Yeah, I didn't know that he had tried to get twinned with New York. I felt that Rudy Giuliani was a bit of a dickhead there, not going for that.

Yeah, I mean, he's since proven that he is a bit of a dickhead, but he could have done it. There's a similar story about whether. the term moon rakers comes from moon raker you know like james bond and other i guess there's other uses for it um where in um i'm going to have to look up where it is actually i can't remember but that basically the story was that there was a big smuggling presence in this place in the uk wiltshire it's a it's so it's a colloquial name for people from wiltshire um and the legend is that uh when smuggling was rife in the area there were some local people who'd hidden contraband barrels

of French brandy from customs officers in a village pond while trying to retrieve the barrels at night they were caught by the revenue men but they explained themselves by pointing to the moon's reflection in the pond and saying they were trying to rake in a round cheese the revenue men thinking there were simple yokels

laughed at them and went on their way but as the story goes it was the moon rakers who had the last laugh So it's a similar thing really Like pretending to be mad to get people to leave you alone It's clever It clearly worked Goatum

Ha Goatim I just like this mental image now I've got of the place that Batman Resides and all these evil villains Has its roots in the goat village Yeah Yeah

It's a village That's brilliant That's fantastic Wow God I've read There's so many little bits of British history that I have no idea about, I mean, obviously I can't know everything, but

Peter, you brought the one about the plague. What, oh, what was, oh, what was that? No, Ben did that. The, uh, I am, is it called? What's that place called? Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. EAMs, hang on at my, I've got it, I've still got it bookmarked. Bear with me a second.

The plague village. Yes, the village of Eam, Eam. There we go. I'm a big fan of this theme, you've got going of like little bits of British history. I need to find it. a good book on this because I'm very interested and there's got to be some absolutely batch it stuff we've done well one of these days I'm going to bring one that Peter doesn't know intimately well unfortunately I own a lot of the books that Michael's just talking about I've read

season passes to visit the historical landmarks yeah well I guess there's that as well you do sometimes hear these things when you go to places like that but yeah yeah I've got I've got a couple of good books that I've uh the first one that I read was just in a I was staying in a B&B somewhere, and on the shelf in the bedroom where I was staying, there was this book that I just read in the evening, and I thought, wow, this is amazing, and I bought a copy of it. Nice. Yeah. It's pretty good.

It's just been incidental so far, those two. Like that one, I was just Googling an image of the road sign for Gotham, Nottinghamshire, just for a stupid throwaway joke in a video. And then I saw an article, and I was like, oh, yeah, does it actually have a link to Batman? I mean, I just assumed it didn't, because it was just. a name that they plucked yeah there we are hopefully some people learned something today

yeah thank you thank you fantastic I learned the twinning thing and also actually I didn't know there was a link with New York itself I thought they kind of I didn't know about the sort of middleman there my assumption was that when

writing the Batman comic they just named this place Gautum based on the village without, I didn't know there was any kind of New York thing that happened kind of in between the two. It may well be more to it than that.

The article certainly made it sound that it was literally just the fact that there was a jewelers in New York called Gotham Jewelers and the creators of Batman were like, that'll do. Yeah. But yeah, it does make a lot more sense

in hindsight with, you know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of insane people in Batman. Yeah, well, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Wonderful. Well, we've got one last question here. Damien Medhurst at Sigma's underscore Revenge on Twitter says another more serious one. As it's Mental Health Awareness Week, I just wondered, what are your go-to activities for helping you de-stress and unwind? Favorite games, movies, music? Also, have you done anything to help yourselves over the last year of lockdown? So we'll take the apps as read, because we've talked about those before, and they're very good.

There's a lot of good mobile apps you can get, which are good for various issues that you might face mental health-wise. But in terms of unwinding, I've taken recently to, I'm building occasionally when I can afford it, I'm building Lego, which I'm finding very nice. Oh, jealous. I got a set for my, what is it? For Christmas I got first, a set, and then I got one for my birthday after that as well. What have you got? What have you got?

I got the Star Wars Helmits set. Oh. So they've released, at first they had three of them, and now there's five of them, where you build like these kind of third scale, I think they are. They're like one third the size of various sort of iconic helmets. It's from Star Wars. So I've got, I got given Boba Fett for Christmas.

I mean, they're sort of mounted on this little plinth with a little plaque on the front that you stick on. And now I've got Darth, have I got Darth Vader or, no, it's a, it's a stormtrooper I've got. And the next one I wanted to get is, yeah, that was it. I wanted the Darth Vader one, but it hadn't come out in time for Christmas. So they got me the Stormtrooper helmet and I want to get Darth Vader next. but I mean I'll build anything It's just fun to sit and do that Put a bit of music on or a podcast or something

For years I've dreamed of owning the Quicky Mart Lego set Oh wow That's like my if I ever win the lottery I'm buying that How much is it? It's so expensive Like Lego is crazy expensive

It's at least 160 or something like that Oh come on The Mart Lego Would you do the thing that they tell you You're not allowed to do in the Lego movie and it would make you a villain, where you would just super glue it in place, so it's like a permanent display piece.

Oh, well, God, for the price... I think you've paid 160 quid. You can do whatever the fuck you want. I don't want to be guilted by the Lego movie. Yeah. Chris Pratt. I should have jumped on it while I had the chance. It's no longer being made,

and now on eBay, they're fetching a high price. Damn it, bastards. Well, one day. Oh, that's sad now. Oh, I'm sad. Oh, no. But, Mikey, what, what would what are you going to do to help um sort of like you know relax and distress from this sadness

this newfound sadness yeah i'm going to find a a knockoff version of it and build that are the fast shop um i've had a relatively up and down a few months but i think i and everyone's different it's hard giving advice like this because obviously different things work for different people but yeah i i i i i i for me generally the thing that always ends up kicking me in the ass down the line is spending too much time indoors it's a it's a it's just a fast track to cabin fever essentially especially at the minute so i on a whim bought a bike the other month that's been a great excuse to get out um skateboard the other week as well it's it's it's hard to be sad when you filled with the fear of death i suppose but yeah i think it's it's it's it's it's it's

just get out there. Obviously, there's only so much you can do to take your mind off things. Like, it's not, it's not, it's not, it doesn't fix anything but definitely helps. No, like, ultimately it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, again, mental health is wildly different for everyone else, but I know, what, for me personally, obviously not as, um, quote unquote, proper diagnosed depressed more just circumstantial just like, oh, this sucks, sad. Yeah.

much taking a step back and just kind of assessing, all right, what's happened? Why am I feeling like this? And just making that scary leap to try and make changes. I think that's, it's scary, but I think I've discovered it's very worthwhile. Do something new. Push yourself. It's scary, but your future self will thank you. That's the thing with, like, the cabin fever thing as well is that I find that when I get

like that, I'm not like consciously aware that that's the problem. Like it's not, I think I kind of always had the impression. that oh well if I ever get a feeling of like being cooped up and like I need to get outside more I will just kind of feel like oh I'm inside a lot and I wish I went outdoors more I'm going to start doing that but I don't get that consciously I just start feeling really shit about things and I'm like oh god why I just didn't suck so much and just going to keep sitting here for weeks yeah and then I don't know that that's what the problem is until I start going out and feeling better so yeah I can relate to that um Um, I, I'm like, I'm doing fine, which is like, it feels weird to say, but I'm, like, I don't, I had a rough 2018 and 2019 for the most part. And I feel like, but probably a lot of people listening to this who are going through rough periods will know that there's no, there's no fix. It's not like a case of shutting off. It's literally just sort of riding out the storm until things feel a bit more stable. and for that reason obviously we all urge you to seek professional assistance and advice where applicable if you need it and don't take our advice for anything but in terms of like

I stopped going outside the last few months pretty much and the reason is because it was really cold and I didn't want to run outside in the cold and I bought a really cheap cross trainer and so now my daily excuse to go outside and go for a run is gone and I've been just using a cross-trainer so I make a real concerted effort to go out for like a long walk once a week just so I can be outside and as a bit of self-care

and I think I've spoken about this before maybe on the podcast but like I have a bath once a week right? I run a bath and I put a couple of towels in the sink and then I put my laptop on it and then I watch something in the bath while I have an alcoholic drink and it's it is my self-care

and I do that once a week and then it usually turns into twice a week because the weekend is two days and that always kind of takes me by surprise and so yeah just just be kind to yourself I suppose would be the angle I'm

I would come at this from it's just get some fresh air go outside but also make sure you do something for you that's nice yeah that's a good point and that just take some time for yourself don't dwell on things obviously

like you know if it's oh I don't know where I'm going with this but yeah don't dwell on things be kind of yourself

and try and make steps to at least change any circumstances that may be causing the feelings yeah and do seek professional help if you feel like

you need it like I mean my my assumption was the question is more kind of out of interest like oh what do you guys do yeah absolutely

hopefully it's not someone seeking either the question asker or anyone else listening hope no one's seeking like answers like miracle cures based on what we've given you know like oh well if i start having a beer in the bath and cycling i'll suddenly feel better because that's not it's not how it works a beer in the bath is pretty powerful though yeah it sounds pretty good

would you guys like to know what came out on vidiates three oh god is it three years ago yeah three years ago i can never my life is a blur the past three or four years i don't know What happens when? No. It doesn't make sense. 2020 was bullshit. Okay, so out this week. Peter, thank you so much for the questions this week.

You're welcome. Coming out this week, or I suppose this fortnight between episodes three years ago on Vidiots, we have Worst Games Ever, Shell Shock 2, Blood Trails, Skyrim Zoo, Chapter 12, a Mammoth Edition, Sunday Fun Day, Little Big Planet, Memory Cards, Super Smash Bros. LA, some Star Wars game and some other bollocks. Part two of the let's play of the Prove It for Spyro 2 Ripto's Rage. The fact that was so complicated to say may explain why those videos didn't do as well

as they should have done. We had post some tat number 14. Happy birthday, Ben. Oh, birthday, episode. Hand solo connect dance challenge piece of cake. Brilliant. Classic. And there's also still, the next video is the.

unlisted video that people can still access if they have the link of Tiny Peter dancing in front of a green screen which can be used should I add that to the link dump now or do you think or should it be a secret forever? No you could do that if you want whatever I'll post that in the Discord somewhere I don't realize it was unlisted actually I feel like I've seen it recently so people can make stuff out of that if they want

and then we had prove it Spyro 2 Ripto's Rage live action show Chalonge. Skyrim Zoo, chapter 13, an icy excursion. Sunday, Fun Day,

you're in the movies. That was a good one. Oh, historic. Historic video. It was good. One of a few that we did in those sorts of games. Memory cards.

John Madden football. Some shit. Pottie at's episode seven. Craving McNuggies. I've just realized that craving is misspelled. I'm assuming that's intentional. Was that not intentional?

No, I always thought it was. I must have been right, because I wouldn't have not seen that, I don't think. How's it spelled? C-R-A-I-V-N-G. Criving. Craving. Craving. Yeah, weird.

Postum TAT number 15. Name redundant. Worst games ever, game selection. And finally, becoming apes, crisis of the planet, crisis on the planet of the apes, VR. I was thinking about that recently. someone asked me about VR games and they were like oh have you ever played any

VR games that aren't just like little sort of silly mini game things and I was like no not really and I was like oh there was that that was like trying to be a serious narrative driven like yeah first person thing that was a weird game VR games are better than that

that's forever the video in history where I got asked to remove the wanking yeah stop wanking because the game was so buggy and all The most efficient way to walk around was to imitate it. Yeah, that's right.

That was a paid one, wasn't it? Yeah, it was a hashtag ad. It was indeed a sponsored video. And I think we did just rip it to pieces because it barely worked. Because I think Martin did the same. He got like the same deal and like did a better job of it and more professional. Oh, of course. Well, he is a professional.

He is. That's why. Our room was gutted, wasn't it? So people could use the green screen walls. Fuck a hell. Well, there we are. That's what came out. Why not go and watch it? You don't have to. It's fine. We went. We won't be mad. You can find us over on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash videots official. Also available on Twitch.tv.com. I'm thinking of doing a little birthday stream. My birthday. Probably like lunchtimeish. So keep an eye out for that. Mikey, there's a shop, I think. You would be absolutely correct. If you head over to store.orgast.com, you'll find a lovely little selection of merchandise from a whole wide range for people. But the coolest, most raddest, most sickest duds on that website come from our little corner.

If you go over to the video section, you'll find shirts, hoodie and mugs. You can do what you like with them. We're not the closed police or the merch police. And even better, if you use code vidiates at checkout, you'll get 10% off absolutely everything on the Yogskast shop. Incredible. That's amazing. Wow.

I don't believe you. It's the deal of the century. You're a liar. Why are you lying for? You should go to prison. I'm in the Yogscast office. They've got a gun to. my head they made me say this help okay well if you don't want to buy merch and get mike apparently

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Oh right Mikey Where are you at Parat Boy on the Twitters God knows what you'll find on there I'm sure it's terrible and Parat Boy on Twitch where I stream

sometimes I don't have a schedule so keep your eyes on the Twitter That's me isn't it Sorry I've got to talk now Peter Thank you We are individuals

And we are a team As individuals We are on social media at That Peter Austin and at Confused underscore Dude Ben is on Twitter, I'm on Twitter and Instagram on that handle. But together we are at Team Triple Jump

on Twitter and Facebook and of course YouTube and Twitch more to the point where we are doing videos and streams on the reg, as they say. They do. They do say that. Finally, leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice. It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms.

What's the final question for this week for the people at home to answer. Shittest landmark? Shittest landmark? Spookiest place you've been? Spookyest landmark? Shittest place your shit has been eaten by a dog. Yeah.

Love it, yeah. Write your own one star trip advisor of you or something. We've just given like 50 things that haven't we? Yeah, do all of those things in one comment, please. So many options. Right, we're going to go now. Look after yourselves. We'll see you next time.

Bye. Bye-bye. Bye.