Podiots - Podiots: Episode 86 - Millennial Cluedo

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

Peter's brought along an evil action figure, Ben's biting into some onions and Mikey's going high stakes Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ Get 20% OFF Manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code RULESBUSH at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod   New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord   Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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is a great trip. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western Book direct and save at bestwestern.com Do you just want the Dave Benson-Philip's shirt for the tweet? Yeah, let's do the... People might think we're about to sell a shirt that we have no legal right to sell.

Yeah. But that's fine. All right, there you go. I'm telling you now, the people who are selling that shirt also have no legal right to sell that shirt. Can you put someone's name on a shirt? Surely, that's fine. They don't make reference.

as to which Dave Benson Phillips is. I mean, no one would come after you for it, but like... Also, it's not the correct spelling. It's one L. Oh, well, there you go, let's say, get around it. It's easy. I'm looking at it, I'm realizing, is it like three different logos smashed together? It's like Dave, the TV channel, Benson is in Benson Hedges the cigarettes.

Yeah, and Phil. It is. Oh, my God. The hi-fi manufacturer. It's actually clever. That's immense. Love Dave Benson Phillips. Heart.

I'm glad I don't, I've never even smoked Benson Hedges, but I know that from a mile away. There we are. Is there any way you can lift that brief conversation and put it at the start of the podcast, so it sounds natural? Yes, let me just cut it in now. So have any of you noticed how extremely fuckable the Lloyd's advert animated people are? Yeah, super, super set. I want them to put their long Lloyd's noses inside every hole of me. Oh, Jesus.

They've got small eyes, big surface area of the face, not a lot of eyes, big nose. Long skinny arms primed for fisting. Oh, that's Lloyd's. They could get that arm through your bottom hole all the way. They could wind round every twist and turn in your body and stick it out of your mouth at the top. And clap. Yeah, and clap. Yeah, I'm just trying to work out what are, we're talking about Lloyd's bank,

By the way, I don't watch TV. Like, I've watched TV, but I don't watch live TV. And so I don't know what the current Lloyd's ad is. When I searched Lloyd's ad 2021, it's the beautiful, admittedly, also extremely fuckable, sleek black horse. Black beauty horse, yeah. It doesn't look like they've used the animated people for a while, maybe? No, no, I think, yeah. They had, like, a summer run.

This is going to be a hell of a podcast people begin on. But before this, we started talking for a. a couple of minutes about the Lloyd's people and um not realizing one of us wasn't recording yeah so you just that was the throne was gold you all wanted to hear it was you really missed some some premium gold and I was I was convinced we were recording and now I'm pretty upset about it I don't know what to believe niche unspoken about British adverts for banks that's that's quality quality content yeah I think the current Lloyd's ad and I only know this because they're quite often advertising cinemas, Floyd,

is just the horse, kind of running in the background of like various moments, like people having human moments, like a, I don't know, like a soldier on the battlefield, people getting married. I don't even remember the actual examples.

You know, the full range of the human experience. Yeah, warfare and sex. Marriage, exactly. That's a good range, though. That's pretty all-encompassing. Everything fits in between. There was two poles. Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, all's fair in love and war. Black horses. That's it. Makes sense. Should we do the podcast? Yes, please. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Poddiet. It's the official.

Vidiot's podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and Obey the law of the three urs, where everybody brings a thing along to talk about. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. I'm Michael. Hey, boys. How you're doing now?

I like how Michael just said, I'm Michael to the tune of M-Dennon. I'm Michael. I'm Michael. Are you full of biffed as act irregularis, Michael? Yeah. Tell me his little tummy feel better at a minute. I'm full of biff at the minute. I'm despite my chipper tune, I'm a little bit under the weather, but I'm going to soldier all.

so we can continue to talk about fuckable advertising figures, yeah? You need a bit more bifidus act irregularis in your life. Yeah, much you feel better, um, what is bifidus? What does that mean?

It means fucking nothing. It's a genus of bacteria, I believe. Oh, it just literally means good bacteria, bifidus. Biffidus. Biffidus. Biffidus.

Sounds a bit like sort of the Pokemon evolution of Bopis. Bopis and Bifidus. If you level up your Bopis enough, it becomes Biffinus. Bopis and Bifidus sounds like a children's TV show as well. Yeah. Biphidus and Bopis.

What are we going to do tonight, Bopis? Bopis. Well, Bifidus. Well, doing what we do every night. Bifidus online and pick up in the store. Buy yogurt online and pick up in the store. You good, Peter? Am I good? What do you mean? Yeah?

Yeah, yeah. Good. Just a question. How are you doing? Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. What do you want to know? Jesus Christ, are you all right? Fuck me.

Thought police are everywhere. When I know you, every thought, Jesus. Christ, it's a bit intense, isn't it? The start of this podcast. Yeah. Yeah, God. How are you doing, Ben? Are you feeling equally raring and, whoa, ready to, God, do a voice into a microphone?

Mentally, I'm there. I'm with you. I'm ready to go. physically, my body is failing me in multiple different ways. You're in the walls, aren't you? I am in the walls, yeah. In the walls like Jeff. Creamy.

I've got a massive ulcer on the inside of... You know, it's never in a convenient place. That's the whole point of an ulcer. But it's like right on my bottom... Right on your bottom. God, that's so sorry to hear that. It's right on my bottom lip, like right next to my teeth. So it hurts to talk and eat and that's great.

And then I've got, what's the name? I can't find out of the name now. Runner's knee. I've got, yeah, it's called Iliotibial band syndrome is what I'm dealing with at the moment. Where I've got a big old tendony thing that's not in the right place and it's pinging about in my knee and a physio. God. I'm currently paying a man to fold me up like a crumpled t-shirt and also put needles in my leg.

It's not great I can't run Not happy about it But you know what The long and short is Mikey That Ben has a syndrome And we should therefore Treat him differently

And like make fun of him for it Because that's No I thought you were going to say Treat me nicer No no No is that not how that works No because like we're really Kind of ignorant

And kind of uneducated And therefore we don't know how to deal With the fact that someone is in some way You're big bullies. Syndromic. I'm going to build your own special little staircase in at the office where rather than like 20 normal size steps, it's a thousand little tiny incline, so it's easier for you to get up. That would be way worse.

I don't want to ramp, if anything. Stairs are hard at the moment. What about a stand-a-stair lift? Can we get you one of those? That would be really fun, but I know that I wouldn't be the only person to use it because they are. Yeah, God. Hella sweet.

It would also hurt the ulcer on your bottom to sit down. It would, yeah, my bot ulcer, yeah. I'm quite upset. My grandparents are relatively fit in here. healthy in the final years. I've never, never been around a stand of stair lift. Have you not? I'd been on one. Wow. How is it? Was it fun? Yeah, it's so fun. It's like I can't believe I've wasted so much time going up and downstairs with my stupid legs. And why did that one? You could spend three minutes slowly gliding up the stairs. If you had one of those installed a long time ago,

your knees never would have gotten bad. Oh my God. There we go. It's very true. But I'd also probably be a lot heavier. So is it worth the trade-off? I've ruined my knee. Is that the That one's keeping you fit and healthy as that 10 second trip up the stairs every day. Yeah, without that you just crumble. What I do is I attach, I get lots of resistance. So you know when you go into the centre of town and you see that like one man band

and he's got like symbols on his knees and a harmonica on his face and an accordion and like a drum on his back and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like that, but with resistance bands, they're all connected. So I look like a rubber band ball.

And then like, like, when you turn off the downstairs light and you run up the stairs on all fours I do that but with all the resistance in the world and it keeps me fit as a fiddle so powerful until an internal resistance band

has betrayed me gives way and needs pins put in it needs pins put in it it's terrible somewhere in the world so please don't bully me too much because I might try just to read more

there's a voodoo doll of you that's in a lot of pay in its knee because you're just getting all these pins in you. Is that how it works? I was the... But Peter, I'm the voodoo doll. Yeah, but they're stabbing you. I don't know.

I know. The doll will be sad. I'm the voodoo doll for someone else. Yeah. Just all blonde men with beards around the world. I'm not. The same guy. That is how it works.

Anyway, let's move on. Before we get started with questions and things and all the fun of the fair that you've come to expect, we of course need to talk about pod swan. If you go to streamlabs.com forward slash poddyats donations and donate three pounds or more, you will get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast. You will join Pod Squad. You will support us.

You will support the thing that you enjoy, which is us doing the podcast, I assume, if you're listening. And Mikey has the bumpy platoon ready to go. We kick off with small, when viewed from space, raindrop joy. My mum steals my beans on toast. Harrison Rathbone DBP's Synchro Swim team

Hugh Johnson's Huge Johnson Big Jenga Jinkle Specky Becky forgot to donate Mr Macca Please stop I'm much too floppy

Oh, that makes you feel weird inside Bartek and many others Lightning Mcqueath Kentucky Fried Chegwin And Beggy Mops Smeggy Mops Oh no

That sounds like the beginning of Let down your hair It does, isn't it Beggie mocks, smeggymops Let down your hair It's the Latin name for the good bacteria Isn't it? Begimops

It sounds like a bad bacteria to me If you've got that You need some penicillin If you've got Smeggymots Smeggymots Oh no Right here we go

tiny troop your mum's special friend Mr. Black ads mean podiots is changing Stephen Skodes happy 9 plus 10

equals 21 all oh yeah it's just been the 9th of sorry the 10th of September 2021 which is words 9 plus 10 do anyone did you guys see this

it was I saw this people were celebrating on social media that it was 9 10 21 because of that video what video this went completely

Completely of my head. Whoa, do you not know this one? You're stupid. No, I'm not. What's 9 plus 10? 21? This boy is being called stupid. This boy.

Wait, I feel like I must have seen this. Watch it. It will only take you six seconds. Oh, this, right, yes. Okay, I get, oh wow. God, I'm so out of the loop with meme culture. There's leaking out my brain. Thank you for filling me.

So there you go. Everyone celebrated 9 plus 10, 21 day the other day. Wonderful. Lord Brothovich Don Ack O'7 Pro-Trainer Scared to sneeze Got de Plops

Oh no Tar Forgetting Lou Sainess right This is The Google Police Oh no Dick in Ben's Dom

And the very generous Very disappointed listener He said In the last episode Mikey said Shepherds Pie was made from beef Proper Shepherds Pie

is made from lamb and then in brackets it says sheep a sorry mistake from what is otherwise a completely factually accurate podcast to incentivise you against further error here's some money winky face. Oh god I'm so sorry I've ruined this player as you know they're sort of right but not actually entirely

in the well so shepherd's pie people say it should be lamb and that's why it's shepherd's pie but as far as I'm aware I'll laugh, everyone. Yeah, here we go. As far as I'm aware, the main difference between Shepherds slash cottage pie is the way that you do the potatoes on top, because Shepard's Pie is mashed potato like a fluffy sheep,

and cottage pie is slight as a potato like the tiles on the roof of a cottage. Thank you, everyone, for coming to my TED talk. Wait, are you bloody kidding me? Is that... I don't believe you. That's... I mean, I'm pretty sure. I think the lamb does factor into Shepard's Pie as well.

But that's, you know, there's definitely a potato issue. There's a potato issue. Okay. All right, very disappointed listener. What happens when you use corn mints and a shepherd's pie? Well, what's that? Yeah. What is it?

Vegan pie. As far as I'm concerned, whether you want a shepherd's pie or a cottage pie, as long as you've got some sort of mints in there, it doesn't really matter. That's right. There you go. Anyway, that's the end of tiny troop. We have spoken. Yeah, thank you for your generous donation.

I know in the fast crew we have got Finn Tristam Fred didn't tell his friends Slap Slappy Demol Slaping Balls Didn't do two peas my bud Connor is a right Cunt J.K. Love you Give it a pet Left hand right

Oh it's the wrong way around sorry because we copy them from most recent to older So yeah it's left hand right hand, left hand Thank you for your donation And also give it our pet Thank you for your donation Cunty Cunt Eastwood

Whoa guys Come on Oh, seize, geez Caroline blocked my Netflix Oh no It's getting worse Caroline, please Caroline you've got to stop

Caroline That's a song, isn't it? Sweet Caroline Not that one There's only one Caroline song Once you do a song about a name That's it's been done Who are the people who did sorry Miss Jackson?

I am four eels. Who is that? Oh God, who was that? I can hear the voice in my head. Oh, it's... Oh, this is going to hurt. Sorry Miss Jackson. Never meant to make your daughter cry.

I am. Oh, I don't know. Was it... Oh, I don't know. I don't want to say anything in case it sounds just... I nearly said P. Diddy, but I don't think it's... No, that's not it. You just picked a name.

I did. It's the right era. Hang on. Yeah. Oh, it was Outcast. Yeah. Okay. That felt like the obvious answer, but I thought, it's not them, is it?

No, because they did a song where they say Caroline. They only sang Hey-Yar, surely. And definitely not any of the other great songs that they've sung. Do they have a song called Caroline? Can you look that up for me? Let's see. Outcast, Carol. This is important.

It's called Roses, but it comes up when you search for Caroline. Oh, yeah, roses really smell like, mm-mm-mm. You know that one? Yeah, no No? No? No. Roses really smell like poo, poo, ooh, it says here. Right, I did think that, again, I thought that might be the lyric

But then I thought, it can't be poo. It can't possibly we just sang in school. That can't be it. Oh, my God, these lyrics, now go on to the raw sex. My AIDS test is flawless. Whoa. Wow. I want to see your support bra, not support, yeah.

Goodness me. Jesus. But they do sing about Caroline in it, and that's the point That I was trying to make Pooicide squat, feet, Shatcatcher That's trying really hard, that one Because it's got a character

And it called Ratcatcher, I don't know if you guys Yeah, yeah, I know that That's a comics thing One off of the Batman's Just keep swimming, Ash, Trunter fucking did Go and Ask Stop clenching your tits And Pottieets foiled

My Crash claim Oh, no. And then we are, that's your pod squad for this week. Streamlabs.com forward slash potty at's donations. There's too many storylines going on in the names now. Yeah, it's a lot to keep. It's like a soap opera. At the beginning and the end,

and that's Poddiet's donations with an S on the end. Mikey, your question boy, this time. Yeah, but all this plop talks reminded me of an awful plop story I've got, but I'm not going to share it. I'm going to save it for, like, a special episode of Pottietz, because it's the most embarrassing thing I've ever done my whole life and I want it to be from a special occasion.

Personal plop story. Oh, personal plop story. Breaking poos. Breaking poos. But when we finally get back together, I'm building hype now. But whenever that may be. Ready for the plop tale of the century.

Oh, no, I've committed to this now. Oh, I feel sick. Anyway, question. Yeah, please. This one comes from, oh, let me just drag my Discord over so I can actually read it. Sarah,

board game solutions at Bags for Dice on Twitter they want to know what would the rooms and weapons be in a modern day Cludeau board game So modern day So Cludeau famously set in like a grand manner Like a mansion with plenty of rooms I'm just going to get the rooms up

So we can get a taste of what we're adapting for the modern age So there's the billiard room I'll get the weapons up The study, the hall, the lounge, the dining room, the kitchen, the library, the conservatory, the ballroom, so many rooms, so many opportunities for murder. It would be a one-bedroom flat. Yep, that's a millennial clue to it's just.

A kitchen diner, all open-planned, one-bedroom and a small bathroom. And if you're lucky if it's got a bathtub, it might just be a shower. The kitchen's attached to the living room. The flat and equivalent is just the power trip for a minute. someone tripped on the clotheshorse and the living room and tangled and died there was a fire

and they couldn't escape out the window because it locks at a certain angle. Yeah. For those who are confused in the UK we call it Cludeau in North America they call it Clue for some reason.

They've got places to be they've got no time. Two syllables, no thanks. Geez, I think we're made of time. Right, let me find the weapon But yeah, I like the idea of it just being in like a small flat because no one can afford to live in a mansion anymore. How many players would be involved in this small flat? I don't know how many there are typically.

Oh, yeah, there's one six. Patricia Peacock, Colonel Mustard, Michael Mustard, Reverend John Green, Professor Peter Plum, Miss. Miss Josephine Scarlet And Miss Blanche White, Blanche White And I believe the dead person Is Reverend Black off the top of my head Although it doesn't say it here I like the diversity and jobs there

I feel like now it wouldn't be like Professor Plum It would be social media executive Flum Influencer Mustard I think one of the weapons Should be a very unfair rental agreement the slow death of not being able afford food because rent was so high

that's the greatest cram of them all Tesco's. Sainsbury's basic spaghetti. Oh, nice, yeah. There should be a weapon that is a tub of oven cleaner that you have to use when you're moving out because if you don't, they're definitely going to charge you like 40 quid. Maybe the person at the center of the mystery, the dead person is just a landlord and no one really wants to try and solve it.

He's like, oh, that's fine. I really cares. That's fine, yeah. Free house, isn't it? One of the, one of the weapons could be a mirror that was left behind by the previous tenant and you've been meaning to take it out to the bins for, well, since you moved in,

you just haven't gotten around to it. And it's just there. Someone tripped over it, maybe. A selfie stick with a fauna attached strip that captured every bit of the murder, and it's got to try and figure out the passport to get into it. An obsolete iPhone charger.

Yeah. A Hoover that hadn't been emptied when you moved in And you really don't want to empty someone else's Is it a Hoover from the mid-90s that you talk about On your millennial podcast for six weeks? It comes with the property and it's on the inventory But it's going to break And for some reason they will charge you for it

Yes It doesn't work Well, that's your fault, isn't it? Yeah Is it? Okay The minor snag Which isn't detrimental to the house

but it's a little bit of a nuisance and you don't want a pester landlord with it and one day it builds to being a big nuisance. Like, yeah, we've, we had leaky floors and we got black mould downstairs. Which probably, I think, that's, that's, that's, that's landlord worthy. That's not a pester. That's a, that's a respiratory disease waiting to happen. Oh, boy, renting. Great.

There is actually one extra room, which is the flat upstairs that plays music at 3 a.m. Is that where the murder takes place? Because you can't take it anymore. She'd go around and kill them with your hoover. It's really just turned into us complaining about the lives we lead, isn't it? Yeah, really. This is only very loosely related to Cludeau at this point. It's just, doesn't it suck living in apartment buildings, blocks?

Yeah. I can't think of the word. Maybe the murder could take place when the fast food delivery man refuses to come to your flat, so you have to go down to the front door. By the time you come back, someone's been murdered. Yeah. Oh, God. We lead hard lives, don't we?

It's truly awful. The things you have to work with. It's very sad. Pray for us. I'm just leafing through the instructions here, and there is actually one final room, which is the lift that has never worked since you've been here. Yeah.

I hope you enjoy flights of stairs. Yeah. Oh, brilliant. I really want to see Millennial Clued on now. I think that would be quite fun. I think we've said a good clue don't. Yeah. Clue wouldn't

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Ooh. That was sent to me by Tori. Tori off the triple jump community, but also clearly the Vidiates and Podiots community. We do know that one. Here we go. It's called Devil Eyes. That's the name of the article. But you will never, just from that title, be able to guess the direction that this goes.

Fortunately, the very first sentence will tell you which way it's going to go right now. Devilise was the codename for a secret psychological warfare program in 2005 to 2006 by the US Central Intelligence Agency, the CIA, to develop an Osama bin Laden action figure. and distribute it in South Asia, especially Afghanistan and Pakistan. Oh my God. The CIA worked in conjunction with toy maker Donald Levine, a former Hasbro executive,

who has been credited as the father of the GI Joe toys. Levine designed a 12-inch lifelike figure of Bin Laden, whose face was painted with a material that, when heated, would peel off to reveal a... Demon-like visage with red skin, green eyes and black markings. Is there a photo of this? There is. I'll send it you in a minute. Don't go snooping. I'll send it to you in a second.

The goal of the program was to scare children and their parents in an effort to turn public opinion against the real Osama bin Laden or Al-Qaeda. Levine sought to manufacture the toys in China and he had business contacts there who could have I'm now going to send you a picture, a side-by-side of the heated-up and non-heated-up Devil Eyes Bin Laden toy. Here it comes. It looks. It looks like Darth-Moor. When you Google it, there are loads of side-by-side comparisons of Darth Moll.

I don't think that would have the intended effect. I think kids would see that and think, this is Sama bin Laden, dude, it's fucking rat. What a rat? He's like Darth Mall. He's just like Darth Mall. Wow, it looks just, wow. It's kind of like,

I want to go work for the Darth Mall team. The name of that file picture is Bin Mall. The file name of that picture. Bin Mall. This is a weird sentence to say, but it's, it kind of looks like Bin Laden took, like had a heel turn and went evil. But he's already pretty evil.

Yeah, he was like a baddie wrestler. It's like cane or something. Yeah, that's who I was thinking of. God. So the article continues a little bit more It's not very long one In 2014 the CIA acknowledged the existence of the program But said it had been discontinued

After Levine had produced only three prototype figurines Oh come on Levine It's like you don't want to work on it According to the Washington Post however An anonymous source in China With quote direct knowledge of the program Said that hundreds of toys were created And shipped to Karachi Pakistan in 2006

A prototype of the design was sold in an auction in 2015, a 2014, sorry, for, let's have a guess. One million dollars. Mikey. Wait, what are we guessing on exactly? A prototype was sold in 2014. Man, I'd pay a top dollar for that. I'm going to, I'm going to, a little bit lower. I'm going to say $600,000.

Only $11,879. What? We could pull together and buy that. What? Well, and another one was sold in 2015 for $6,250. No, what? No, come on. Fungo pops off a more than that.

There's allegedly only three of these in existence, officially speaking, but someone in China says there's hundreds. Wow. The remaining one of the three prototypes, three known prototypes, is believed to be in ownership of the CIA. So they've kept one for all times safe. Just on the glass display case as you enter the CIA building. Yeah. We got him. So there are some longer write-ups of this.

There are articles about the auction and, you know, the process of making it and so on. But that's the long and short of it. So thank you, Tori, for sending that to me. That was very good. Imagine the accessories. You could come with like a little computer filled of really random videos and Mr. Bean clips and stuff like that.

Yeah. What does the Asama bin Laden play? play set look like yeah each sold separately it comes with

like a dancing horse and god damn which you probably point out at this point that it has recently been

the 20th anniversary of 9-11 and nothing that we are saying here is mocking that in any way we're just laughing at the ridiculous

action figure well and also there's you know it's not great over in Afghanistan at the moment either no absolutely not

no I said to Tori when she first sent this to me, I was like, okay, well, you know, this is, this is a really interesting story and it's mad. It's funny in and of itself as a story that this was made and that's what it looks like. But, yeah, I said, well, we'll cover this, but it will have to be handled with respect and hopefully people know where the humor is in this story and where it isn't. Yes, yes. It's only common sense, that's all. Wow. But there you go. That exists and is ridiculous so that is ridiculous

I hope you enjoyed that has someone added it to the thread yet because I will do that I added it in I'm looking at it I'm staring at it right now I'm just quickly going to scour you and see if there's any on there

just in case I get lucky Dan flashes straight in there I hear Darth Moore was also a huge fan of horse dance very good fantastic well done someone else Twini don't turn your back on the wolf pack which is a wrestling reference so there you go

we ticked all the boxes look. Covered all bases, love it. Turns out there is bin Laden dolls available on eat, well, I've sold in the past on either. Of course there are. Do you want to know what the website where they originated, the name of it?

What? Hero builders.com. No. Oh dear. Come on. No. The optics of that is not good. Made in the USA. Oh my God. Fucking out. Oh no. He's doing a little fist pump.

That looks an awful lot like our dick my chinko action figure with a different head it's kind of like the end of what is it breakfast clubway jumps and yeah and freeze don't you

forget about me what does that small print say division of oh it's just the corporation the hero builders hero builders dot com corp yes bad ideas incorporated yeah absolutely

oh my god wow sorry I've just gone on the website wow and they've just got action figures of everything Bill Clinton kid rock Yeah, all of my heroes Bill Clinton and Osama bin Laden And I got a peaton one as well Wow

Sounds terrible What a weird website Yeah You're yet to list someone Who I would consider Any kind of hero for anyone Oh god They've got a Donald Trump

Joker paperclip head Whatever that means God this website's a nightmare And you can even submit For your own custom one to be made So Oh my God So there is our chance

yeah does a meat face one just a giant plastic face please oh you can even add a talking chip for a mere $25 to all your toys oh no

I hope they've been loud and well I hope none of them that you've just said have them I did not have sexual relations with that woman oh dear all right I'm closing here

but this was a bad black hole thank you very much Peter that's nightmare you're welcome I love it and thank you Tori thank you Tory yes let's have a

A quick little question, maybe do another. Yes. This one comes from Richard Gillespie, I think, Gil, Gillespie, and we're just going to say. Can you send us the name? I think it's probably Gillespie. Gillespie. Gillespie. Gillespie, yeah, it's Gillespie or Gillespie.

Gillerspie, yeah? That's Gillespie. Anyway, Dick Gillespie wants to know that's a dog all three. Sorry, Richard. Well, I thought I was going to get bullied tonight, but apparently. Apparently is wretched. Yeah. I've seen Bin Laden about to put me in a weird mood.

He wants to know, would you rather bungee jump, dive with sharks or skydive? I'm going to assume by diving with sharks, you mean in a metal cage, but... Yeah. Would you rather kiss a shark? I would instantly dive with sharks before bungee jumping or skydiving. Really? No question. I thought this was like a for sure, like, screw the sharks, anything but that.

but that's me and my water phobia. Wow. I mean, I could, bungee jump, it would be the last one I would do. When people, because sometimes people would just say, would you rather bungee jump or skydive, and I would rather skydive. And I don't like flying.

And you don't have to fly to go in a bungee jump. But I, the notion of like, well, the motion, perhaps, is a better phrase, of being on the end of a rope and then springing back up again and then falling again. And, oh, God. And having to stand on, the edge of a platform that is high enough in the air

that you feel like, what the fuck am I doing? But low enough that it's not so alien and abstract looking that I feel like jumping out of a plane, you're so high in the air that there's probably a, I'm sure it would still be difficult to do if you're of a nervous disposition, like I sort of am. But it would at least be like so alien and out there

that I would find it easier to jump into just the nothing. thingness of the sky rather than like being about 200 feet off the ground yeah you can walk on clouds as well we know that that's true so a lovely cushion if you just if you time it right you can just land on a lovely cushion cloud and that would be a really good time yeah um say hello to the dreamworks logo the high five yeah sounds nice actually have a nice fish up with sharks because uh i don't like flying i would never want a bungee jump so and i i've always thought actually that be one day, I would, I would dive with sharks anyway. I think it looks really fun.

Wow. Relatively speaking. Oh, I'm saying diving sharks at the very bottom of that list. Bungy jump next because I think same reasons you've got, because it's just you can just see potential death with skydiving. Like, there's recovery time. Like, it's fine. It can work out. You've got plenty of free fall

to figure something out. Or if both shoots fell to open, you've got a good minute or so to really just consider what's about to happen to you, which, you know, is horrendous. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to do a skydive one day.

I should look into that. I want to get thrown out of a plane. Ben? I would not want to bungee jump because that would feel like I was going to die. Just jumping to my death. And I don't want to do that. And I also don't think it would be, I don't think I would particularly enjoy the free-falling sensation.

when I can see what I could potentially hit beneath me. Coming up at you at free fall speed. I don't like that at all. I, like Mikey, have always wanted to do a skydive. It would be a tandem skydive, not a solo one, but I would like to do it. And equally, I'd quite like to dive with sharks. I think that would be quite an experience too.

So I'm going to go in a helicopter next month. I've never been in a helicopter before. Whoa. I've been in a helicopter once. Is he cool? Have you swung that? Yeah, I really enjoyed it, actually, because as I say, I don't really like flying that much on planes. I mean, I'm all right with it, but I just don't really like doing it.

But I thought it was a really cool sensation, a helicopter, yeah. They offer experience packages, Mikey, and you can get one to fly across Newcastle. Whoa, you can see the tune from the sky. You go to the end of the north. I don't know. Maybe we'll land in its hands, in its wings. Yeah, we did it on holiday. we went to America and I think for like a couple of years beforehand

we'd had like some smaller scale holidays so that we could have like a much bigger more exciting one some years after that and we were in America and we went on one of those experienced things but it flew through the Grand Canyon which was rad. That was really cool.

Oh my God, that's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, it was like super cool and then when you get off at the end they try and flog you this very very American VHS tape of you getting on your helicopter and flying away

and it's so cheesy like they put music over the top they're filming you as you get on it and they're shouting to you from behind this camera like wave wave and then you see it at the end just like when they try and sell you a roller coaster photo except it's an entire video of you

living the American dream I love that picture it with like a really crappy MIDI version of like I am a real Americans you just go into it Yeah, I wish we'd now, in hindsight, I wish we bought a copy so that I could show it to you guys. But needless to say, we did not spend.

Oh, man. God knows how many dollars on that after. Such a shame. It's a sad thing. I feel like we've missed the golden era of campy, weird things to buy. And everything's got taste and styling. It's done properly. Back then, it was just, like, get a crappy green screen video of yourself

with Mickey Mouse at Universal Studios? Yeah, that's right, isn't it? It's a crossover. Mikey Johnson, I promise you that those places still exist because there is currently one at the gate where yet another restaurant has died and so they've got come along and get a photo taken and you can look in and they have the most horrendous looking sets

for you to take like family photos in front of. Oh, I didn't know this. Oh, it looks horrible. And if it's still there, next time you're visiting, we should we should all chip in and go get a family photo in the worst one there oh that would be amazing yeah we can go on like little turtle net sweater neck sweaters and everything and make it really good is that it's right next door to where zazaar bazaar used to be you know you can pay for clothes by the kilogram now the gate is doing fine don't worry about it it's ours before we go and get a

photo taken we'll go to the shop formerly known as zazaar bazaar's and buy Get the worst ensemble. It's like 15 quid for a kilogram of clothes. It's so, so sad. And, you know, if you can't put together from context, the gate is a shopping centre. Yes. Wow.

Yeah, that sounds like quite a fun day out. Everyone buys a 15-quid bag of clothes, makes an outfit work and has fun in the... I think we could probably split a 5, like a kilogram of clothes to be like. A single kilogram between us. Yes, probably. Is it like one of the size? selfie factory things, or is it something else?

I couldn't tell you, I couldn't tell you, but I've walked past it a couple of times and it looks fucking dreadful. It sounds like the same thing that's in Cabot Circus in Bristol, I think, likewise, with shops closing everywhere, nonstop, now transforming spaces into little, little areas to get photos taken in like a big tub of pink balls or a fake London Underground with zebra print seating or something like that. It's... God.

I don't want to do it now. Yeah, we should. We should. Next time you come up, we'll do it. Well, next time I'm up in Newcastle, are you getting a poo story and some good photo? Oh, yes, it's going to be a busy weekend. Oh, boy.

So to answer Richard's question, we'll go with option number four, which is not bungee jump, dive with sharks, or skydive. We will buy a kilogram of clothes and have some family photos taken, please. Oh, be nice. Wonderful. That'll be it.

Yeah. Can I do my thing? Yeah, go for it, Ben. Oh, please do. I was trying to find something unique and interesting, but I couldn't. So we've got a Not the Onion quiz. Fantastic. Woo!

I have five news stories. Some of them might be real. Some of them might be from satirical news website, The Onion. But which is which? I have retooled the titles ever so slightly to hopefully make them a bit more uniform and a bit confusing. I'll read them all to you now. and then we'll go through them one by one and you can tell me if you think it's real or fake

and I'll tell you the real headline. You ready? Sounds good. Yeah. Number one. Woman watered her beloved plant for two years before realizing it was fake. Oh no.

Oh, that's very possible, isn't it? Yeah. Number two. Italian man who lives as a hobbit avoids the ire of the movie cast. What? The ire of the movie cast. Okay.

Next one. Wrestlers back smashed with religious weapon, granting a wish in the process. Butterflies released in Finland hatch wasp, and then even smaller wasps. Love it, cute. And finally, fans' ashes fired out of a confetti cannon at music festival. Oh my God. That's a tricky one. Number one, woman watered her beloved plant for two years before realizing it's fake.

See, I think that this has happened in real life, but I think in this instance, I think that's an onion article, because you can imagine the, it would be, you wouldn't even have to reword that. You could post that on the onion and that would count as a funny article, because I don't think, unless it was the really rubber. local news site, like a small town news. I don't think that would make the news, you know? So I think it must be the onion by almost by elimination. I want to agree, but I want it to be real and I want it to, like just, as you said, I want that to be the worst news story that's ever been published. So I'm going to see it's real.

Yeah, really slow news day. It is real. Oh, fuck off. In a now viral Facebook post, let me just find her name. I've skipped ahead. Kaylee Wilkes explained her fateful discovery I was so proud of this plant she wrote it was full beautiful colouring

just an overall perfect plant Wilkes went as far as to develop a watering plan for it while it sat in her kitchen window after finding it the cutest vase she decided it was time to transfer the succulent I believe that's maybe the name of the plant it was in trying to move the dirt

that she realized the truth behind her perfect plant So there we are I put so much love into it I washed its leave Tried my heart is to keep it looking its best And it's completely plastic That's heartbreaking

That's two years That's a hell of a commitment That's yeah Man that's never like Dropped a leaf It's you know She's never had to deadhead it She's proud of it

She's proud of it Her perfect plan Next news story is Italian man who lives as a hobbit avoids the ire of the movie cast I don't even understand what this means on any level I can picture an Italian man living as a hobbit if that's what you wanted to do

but I don't see why the movie cast would be even involved or aware of that so again I feel like that's maybe a slightly retalled onion article I'm going to say I'm going to onion it up as well I think this is another real one and I really messed with the

title here. Oh, okay. Lord of the Rings actors, praise Italian man who lives as a hobbit. Oh, okay. I thought he was living as a hobbit in order to avoid the ire. I'm afraid not. Right, okay, yeah. Lord of the Rings actors, including Elijah Wood, have expressed their support for the project

of an Italian man who lives as a hobbit and is building his personal shire from J.R. Tolkien's fictional Middle Earth in Italy. Oh, that's really cute for him Yeah Sounds lovely Would you like to see him? I would absolutely love to him He does look a bit

Hobbity There we go There he is Oh look at them There he is He'd fit right in He's a baker He's a hobby

Oh And the Hobbit Which is a very I feel like a very Hobbit Job Profession Yeah profession

That's really That's the word Next up Wrestler's back Smashed with religious weapon Granting a wish In the process I

I feel like that's a make-a-wish kid's thing to smash a wrestler with something. And that's how I've come to understand it. So I'm going to say that's a real story. I was thinking it must be make-a-wish as well. So I'm going to say real. It's the onion. What?

Oh, what? Flipping got you. The real headline is folding chair in church basement fantasizes about getting smashed over wrestlers back. Oh, well, there you go. Oh, that's magnificent. Listen, very well done. Someday I'll get out of this basement and finally make the big time being swung at an unsuspecting wrestler or referee as the packed arena cheers, said the wistful steel chair,

bemoaning how it had wasted its prime years supporting the arses of teenagers, it says. So there we are. That was the onion. On a roll this week, really got you. Next up, butterflies released in Finland hatch wasps, and then even smaller wasps. I'm trying to work out how this could happen. In real, like, what, what does it mean they've hatched wasps? Well, actually, some wasps, I think, lay parasitic babies in other insects. But would they, would a butterfly sustain a baby wasp?

It's going to be questions, yeah. But then also, like, where's the joke here, and if it's onion? So I'm thinking, I'm going to say, real. Yeah, I'm going to go real as well. This is real. Okay. Butterflies released in Finland contained parasitic wasps with more wasps inside. Oh, wow.

So this is quite the journey. When caterpillars of a beautiful butterfly were introduced onto the tiny island, sorry, of Sotunga in the Arland Archipelago, scientists hoped to study how the emerging butterflies would disperse across the landscape. But researchers did not realise that their introduction of the Glanville Fratillery, I think that's the butterfly, led to the emergence of three other stars. species onto the Baltic Sea Island, which sprang out of the butterfly like Russian dolls. Some of the caterpillars contained a parasitic wasp, which burst from the caterpillar before it can pupate and become a butterfly. Living inside some of these small wasps wasp was an even tinier, rarer parasite, a hyper-parasitoid wasp known as something Latin. It kills the parasitic wasp around the same time as the wasp kills the caterpillar. So there we are. Wow. It's like a Russian doll. What a

Horrible. Nature is. I feel like the odds of that happening are already pretty slim, but the odds of that being witnessed and documented are somehow even smaller. Like, this is that could have happened in a random field in the middle of nowhere. No one would have ever known. Wow. That's amazing.

Final one, fans ashes fired out of confetti cannon at music festival. This is completely believable. It's just whether you've removed some. sort of punchline or you know tweaked a punchline and oh I don't know maybe they've put like the ashes into the ink of a t-shirt and they've fired that out at the crowd that still feels right that almost feels like

I was breaking several laws I don't think you're allowed to do that are you? I'm gonna I want to say real I want to say somehow they've managed to finangle that it is real wow! Fans ashes fired out of confetti cannon during Tiesto closing set at Creamfield And I'm not going to go into too much detail

because it's actually a very sad story about the man and sadly took his own life and this was his this was sort of a tribute to him and his longstanding love of dance music. So it is real

and it's a touching tribute even if it's like the most absurd sort of send off you could possibly imagine. It's what the man himself would have loved. So there we are. Do you know the mechanics? Do you know the Like, respectfully as possible, what are the mechanics of firing out ashes? Let's have a look.

I'm scrolling. I guess you just mix them in, you know, it's like a confetti launcher and you just put the ashes in with the confetti and then fire it, I imagine. Relatively simple, I just add the ashes to whatever you would normally shoot out of there. Hoping to go above and beyond for the surviving members of Mitchell's family, the Millins emailed the event organizers hoping to get a photo of the ashes on the main stage at the festival. Much to Ryan Millen's surprise, the Creamfield's teams responded that they would not only include Mitchell's ashes on stage, but also fire the ashes out of a confetti cannon during TNStra's closing set of the weekend.

Okay, that's pretty cool. They went above and beyond. It wasn't like they came to them with this idea. It was like the organiser, like, let's go all out. We're going to pay tribute. Let's do it big time. I thought, oh my goodness, he's going to Creamfields, but I did not expect we blew him out of a cannon, is a quote that it says in here. Amazing.

So that's amazing. Apparently it 10% helped with the grieving process. So that's really nice here. So there we are. There are some mostly real stories. And that is the latest onion or not. Thank you. Very much, Ben, as always.

Cool, of course. We got a question. From Callum Story at Callum Story 1 on. Twitter. Can you agree on a collective best five and worst five pick and mix sweets? Have we done this before? I think we've at least touched on pick and mix, but I feel like a deeper dive may be warranted. Oh, I mean, my answer to the question is no. We will not agree, but we can absolutely have the conversation. I've got to try and remember what's even in a pick and mix. Oh, that's a good point. It's been a while. I'll instantly, the ones that scar me from childhood are

bloody flying saucers, the most pointless suite on the panorama. Yeah, they're only fun to just squeeze. I used to, if there were bags of them in the corner shop, I used to just like pop them inside the bag just while I was, you know, going around the shop and then put them back. Oh my God, you're an absolute animal.

What? That's a criminal offence. That's destruction of property, Peter. It is. But I mean, no one will have minded because no one will have been buying them. They will have sat in that shop. for two years.

So I don't feel bad about it. Yeah, fair. Another one that I always, always despised were the little white chocolates with little, what are they called? White mice. Oh, there's hundreds and thousands on them. Yeah, like white chocolate.

Well, hundreds of sprinkles on it. That's the word I'm looking for. They're like little buttons with a sprinkle, oh, yeah. Pick and makes chocolate. It's not good chocolate, and it just shouldn't be there. Give me chewy goodness, not horrible. melty, waxy chocolate. God.

But taking one step back, I think maybe we should at least all say our favourite or maybe favorite couple of pick and mix sweets to help us work out some common ground. And I am a huge fan of white mice. I think they're really nice. I love them.

See how they run. Yeah. I would put like solid mid-tier for me, but... Okay, yeah. I'm not against it. I'll let you have that one, I guess. Right.

I have three that I can think of. that I like? Yeah. Coler bottles. Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Milk bottles.

I really like milk bottles. Oh, milk bottles. I really don't like milk bottles. Really? Oh, but the strawberry milk ones were really good. Oh, wow. No, that is. Oh, very good.

But the undeniable king for me, especially as a kid when I very, very rarely got pick a mix, was you know the big long jelly snakes? Yeah. They were like, they were like the girtiest sweet. They were the biggest sweet imaginable. And it was like, this is. This is so much sweet. This is amazing.

Look at it. It's a whole fucking snake. And it's got sort of the jet. It's basically, I don't even know what you'd call it, actually. You know, it's got the marshmallow-y bass. Yeah, the foam. Yeah, the foam and then the jelly on top. So good.

Yeah, and it sort of transitions on a gradient between like two or three colors down the snake. Yes, yes, that's it. Oh, I'm looking, I'm just scrolling around on Google and, like, God, I'm salivating. Like, I, I've got three that I, I could, I could definitely get rid of one, but I don't want to. One of them is, I'll pull up an image while you're doing that. The big strawberries, the Harry Bowl strawberries, they were, oh, they're a bit much for me. Yeah, I do.

I think that's probably the most controversial one of the few. I think like, that's, like, I can get why people wouldn't get on with the texture. They're quite chewy and dense, but I love them, dear. They're okay, but it's just a lot for me. And next is just the classic little gummy ring. It works as a fashion accessory as well as being a nutritious treat. I much prefer chocolate now

to sweets. Yeah, really. I'm not a huge sweet fan, but as in sweeties, obviously, I know chocolate's sweet, but I could eat, I could eat a lot of chocolate, but I'm not a huge fan of sweeties. Yeah, I like chewiness. It's especially like vegan ones are more of a treat as well. You find a good one, you cherish that sweetie.

Fried eggs, you still always be my favourite. Oh, yeah, fried eggs. Yeah. I really like, I don't think you would necessarily get it in every pick and mix, but I like the red, not strawberry laces, but the red, I think they're sometimes called cables or pencils, because they're a round red thing with white stuff through the middle, and they are so good. Yeah.

But I think they're more of a premium pick and mix. You don't get them everywhere. No, that's a luxurious mix. Yeah. To throw on the pile of sweets that can burn in hell forever. Foam bananas, just the most deplorable sweet ever conceived. Anything that's just hard foam. Ugh, no.

We used to end Peter's wholesome, famous five childhood when I lived in a village in Yorkshire. We used to go on a Saturday, me and my dad and my siblings would walk down to the newsagents, which was this tiny little news agents that had been there since about 6,000 BC and they had some really sort of stale pick and mix. But what you could do is... So we went down and used to buy the paper on a Saturday morning and then my dad would buy all three of us a 10p mix.

Oh, yeah. Which you would just get a little white bag and it had already been bagged up and you didn't know what you were going to get and there were like maybe 15 or 20 little sweets in there. And there was always at least one or two foam bananas or foam prawns. Oh, form prawns. Why is that as sweet? I don't know.

It's strange, isn't it? But yeah, whenever I think of foam bananas, I remember the 10p mix that we used to get in the mornings on a Saturday. Did you ever hear that those foam bananas and the taste of that, like, what we would consider really artificial banana? This is probably bollocks, but there's an urban legend or it goes around online. quite often. That that flavor supposedly was what bananas or a particular strain of bananas genuinely used to taste like. And that's why they, that, fucking out, get my words out. That's why

the flavor of those sweets is the flavor that it is. Apparently, it's not just, this is what we think banana tastes like. Apparently, bananas used to taste like that, or at least some bananas did. You mean like when the sweet was, is it like an old sweet? Yeah, exactly. first invented. That's the implication anyway. It's probably not true. This is what shrimps used to taste like. Two hundred years ago.

I've got me wondering why we don't get banana varieties. Oh, there is banana varieties. We just don't see them in shops, I guess. Yeah. Sorry, I quite like, I would never think of them, but I'm just looking at a pick-and-mix, you know, pictures of different pick-and-mix sweets here. And I really like the bonbons.

You can get, like, pink ones or blue ones. little round balls and they're sort of flowery on the outside nice to put about 10 of them in your mouth and just chew them together into a giant two frotting ball oh yeah that's like that would be like at the dentist when you get the

the thing put on your mouth to get a cast of your teeth it's just that but sweet yeah yeah lovely I think well not probably more or less than five in both ends of the spectrum there but I think we've given a good a good roundup of the ones I can stay and the ones I can bloody get in the bin.

Yeah, for sure. All right, would you like to hear my thing? Absolutely. I will be forever disappointed. It's not your poo story, but I'll let it slide. Just like you seemingly did. Oh, very, oh, God, yeah.

Well, let's never speak of it again until I... I don't know what it is, but my imagination is running absolutely wild, Michael. To give you an idea, I'm sweating at the idea of telling it. He shits himself on his skateboard. No! He's just jumped to the end. The sick shit flip, it was the best.

He'd diaried on a half pipe. Welcome to the world of high stakes sports. That's the high stakes sports theme song. Essentially, sports are just fun little games that drive people to commit insane feats of. athletic achievement. It's fine. You can punt a ball in your opponent's goal hole

better than the other guys. Great, you win. Great job. Nothing really matters though beyond the points and the winners. It's all just say lardy-dardy. Fooey, I say.

So these matches have no ultimate regards and returns to day-to-day life for human survival. You can't suddenly manifest clean drinking wall, drinking water with goals or growth food.

This is my drinking wall. drinking water. It just leaks water and I lick it. Sports is essentially just little bits of in the moment drama paired with low stakes and that's what makes them fun to watch. It's not like anyone's going to be sent to war or catastrophically fail as a business or maybe even die as a result of a match. Right? Right. Right. Well, here's a few examples of times that sports games had massive ramifications well beyond their usual scope. We start with probably, well, I've hyped this up.

This is arguably the least high stakes of the bunch. But starting your own professional sports league from the ground up is quite a task. It's a lot of skill, a lot of experience, a lot of knowledge. You know, you've got to know what you're doing to make it work, especially with the financial investment involved. However, no one believes their own hype more than the one and only WWE chairman Vince McMahon. Oh, yes. Right. I think, yeah, Ben, you might be familiar with this, Peter, as well. He's full of hot air. He's a man who's already consolidated tons of territorial wrestling promotions

under his own umbrella, and at the time was well on the way to obliterating his own competition, WCW. Is WCW doing good at the minute? They bought it in like the early, in like 2001, Oh, really? Wow. Okay, well, I guess so no. Well, there we go. So, yeah, why the hell wouldn't you take on the NFL, one of the biggest sporting organizations of all time, currently pulls in about $13 billion of revenue a year, which makes the WWE's measly $900 million look teeny tiny in comparison. Yeah, Ben, I think you know what this is, don't you?

I might. He might. I don't. I'm aware of Vince, but I don't know where this is going. So if you squint your brain enough, it kind of makes sense that professional wrestling and football would eventually cross paths. They're both ludicrously violent and involve frequent head injuries. So it made sense to some degree that McMahon would decide to form a football league of his very own. Enter the XFL. And on the outset, this sounds like it could be fun.

time. Like, why not? Let's bring some ridiculous to the world of sports. But sadly, it was doomed from the start. Managing a wrestling promotion in a football league have very different sets of challenges, especially when you want that league to be taken seriously, which I think Vince did. Instead of, I think there was a game release at a time called it NFL Blitz, where it was like, basically football, but to the extreme, with blood and gone, just taking people down by any means necessary. I think that's kind of what people were expecting. But sadly, you can't really deliver that in a real-life scenario in like a natural sports environment. Instead, it was just kind of as cold, awkward, very unprofessional game that people who had no real business playing

football would play football. Do do, do, do. Oh, I've lost my space. Oh, no. So yeah. So it's not quite what you're picturing where quarterbacks are getting stone-called stun to the floor. It was essentially just normal, normal American football just with less talent and less rules, essentially. Right, okay. The first game should have been an indication of how poorly things were to go. Instead of the kickoff,

you got one member of each team to sprint to the midfield to grab a ball on the ground, like some kind of school yard dodgeball game where you get bonus points for concussions. At the point of broadcast, as the teams were literally lining up to begin play at any moment,

the camera just cut to a pre-recorded video of a quarterback awkwardly flirting with a cheerleader in the locker room. It's kind of like, I guess, the cutaways you get in normal WWT, chat incorporates some of that, but it just kind of disrupts the flow of the game massively. Right. And of course, with all this, you get awkwardly cut promos into cut with it all, and it just created this really, really weird feeling and sense of like, what is this, what are we watching? Is this supposed to be serious? I don't know.

the actual play of the game was just so bad that I think in the first match they didn't even bother finishing the broadcast just kind of gave up and just switched to a different game entirely because it was just so pointless watching it and by the first, by the second week of the season viewership had slashed in half and everyone just kind of given up on it

so in the end of the WWF at that time and NBC both lost a whopping $35 million each on this endeavor, and the season concluded as the Los Angeles Extreme defeated the San Francisco Demons 30 to 6 in the XFL championship game, which was originally given the moniker the big game at the end of the season, but was later dubbed the million dollar game because I guess at that point it all fizzled out and calling it a big game at the end of the season. It just feels scummy. That's more of a risk of financial kinds, but a risk. nonetheless, Vince, I'm sure he's got lots of good ideas, but lots of, lots of awful

waters. He tried it again. Did he? Yeah. Why? Like a few years ago, he said, it's coming back and then actually, no, and then the Rock bought it. Oh.

Yeah? Still not happened as far as I'm aware, but I think the Rock now owns the XFL. I feel like that's probably like the Rock's retirement plan. It's just to be a coach for the XFL. Maybe. I mean, take that to the big leagues. Used to play American football. Oh, really?

Well, maybe it's on the right hand. It makes sense. Big boys. Yeah. Yeah, that's what all the big boys play in high school, I guess. Yeah. Well, I'll keep your eyes peeled. Maybe the rock will bring that from out under his rock.

It'll be terrible, though. Of course. And we whip over to South Korea now from America. South Korea, having some unpredictable and unfriendly neighbors to its northern border is pretty stringent about able-bodied men, ages, 18 to 35 being available for military conscription at any time. This even extends to celebrities. So basically anyone in South Korea who can join the military is usually sent off to join.

This extends to Cy, the man who brought us Gangnam style among other hits. So he was conscripted not once, but twice. So escaping it is quite a tricky endeavour. But exceptions can be made, especially for. athletes. South Korea is really invested in looking good at international athletic competitions, specifically anyone who finishes on the podium at the Olympics or the Asian Games, and they get to avoid compulsory barracks life. That brings us to the story of soccer star Sun Hyeong-min, widely regarded as one as the best players in the world and someone who has broken tons of

records for Asian soccer players in European professional leagues. So he was an international pro since he was a teenager. He was the captain of South Korea. team for the 2018 games and this required him to take leave from as usual English Premier League club Tottenham Hotspur who kind of when greeted with this request of like hey can we can we get our player to come play with our team they kind of went yeah that's fine we'll lose him for a couple of weeks if that means we get to potentially keep him for like two years rather than him going off to the military right so obviously this is all hinged on him actually while their team winning the game because it wasn't just son who was a

at risk of being floated off to war. It was basically the rest of the team. If they won, they all got a free holiday, essentially. And not to forget that wages are slightly different from professional footballers to military payers where Tottenham Hotspur is earning about $120 US dollars. Wow! 120,000 US dollars per week while the Korean military pays about $150 a month.

So no pressure. No pressure. This kind of pressure would be in, enough to cause most people that's completely buckle. But luckily, for the entire team, he managed to lead them to victory,

and he won the game, and they all got to evade their constipation. I was about to say, their mandatory constipation. Yeah. And they're all free to go. And yeah,

and that's it. You got to dodge the draft, and thanks to his sick skills with a ball and putting it in nets and stuff in it. Mad. And the last one is of the Wyoming state penitentiary

All-Stars I think this is my favorite of the bunch Is this the story of here comes the boom whatever it's called

What's his name Adam Sandler film Oh my God I've got Wait maybe Have you ever seen that I used to love that film Here comes to boom

Like they're all in Prison And they're playing American football Against the guards Like But they do it in a stadium And for some reason

Adam Sandler's good at sports in this. Oh, wow. It was great. It sounds like similar. Yeah, looking at it, it's kind of a similar premise, but the stakes arguably on this one were a little bit higher. Oh, God, were they on death row or something?

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Oh, fuck. No. So it goes without saying that in general, prisoners aren't granted the most glamorous of lifestyles as abuse, violence, force labor, and basically all you have to look forward to during your stints

are the absolute basics, three meals a day, a bed to sleep in, and an hour in the yard. Well, that precious hour outside didn't exist for prisoners in the early years of the Wyoming State Penitentiary. For a while, they'd spend just their entire stint locked up inside, only dreaming of seeing the sun again, until one day a more compassionate sheriff came along named Felix Ass Alston. He eventually started managing the prison and introduced outdoor time into the mix. And this was obviously great for the guys, get them outside, getting some, they're not quite pent up quite as much. And during this time, the prisoners started to pick up baseball as means to pass the time. And Alston would sit on the sidelines, watched them play and think,

huh, these boys got game. These boys can really hit that ball, hot damn. And so as a keen betting man, he thought, I could, I could ship these guys out. I could make some money off how good these guys are. And so, as a kind of publicity stunt, he managed to wrangle them out of the prison walls and into the real world for some games with the interesting twist that if they did well enough, their sentences, well, their execution dates would be delayed so they could continue playing. So basically they're playing for the life at this point. They're all took place. And not even like to be, not that I expected this necessarily would be it, but they're not. moved off death row. It's like, oh no, if you play well, you get to live a little bit longer. Yeah. I don't think actually set this point. This is all taking place around 1910. So this is,

this is an age ago. This one like in the 70s. It would be a very different case. But yeah, essentially these guys were just turned around, played games, and they did quite well. They won game after game. The first game was like an 11 to 1 victory. It was absolutely massive. Oh, Benin Hibn. Sorry, Ben, oh, sorry, Ben's waiting on a test-call delivery, and he's just sent a message saying he can see the van noises, he can hear the van noises, they're still here. They're 20 minutes early, if it is them,

but I might have to run away very briefly. That's all right. We'll power through. He also wrote a message that just said, keep going. I read it and was like, no reaction. But here we are. We're going, we're going. But yeah, yeah, the games kept going well.

over the course of their stint. They garnered about $130,000 in bets. And so they were quite a good moneymaker for the sheriff. And in a kind of twisted sense of humor, they would introduce the players to the team alongside the crimes that they were guilty of. So they'd be like, Leroy Cook is at first. He bludgeoned a barber to death and stole his money.

On second, George Saban, he shot his wife and two children, and so on and so forth for each of them, which is a hell of a way to be. in a game. And of course, the mascot for the team wasn't you. It was a weird choice. It was the prison warden's son, who was like this little five-year-old blonde boy, this picture of innocence. Behind him, you'd have literal lines of murderers who were fighting to have their life extended slightly. Yes, it's all slightly, slightly messed up. But I guess nothing can last forever. Eventually, while public support for them was quite, generally, it was like, yeah, this is, this is fine.

It's good fun. Like, no one, no one's particularly against it. Eventually, vocal people did speak up, like, mainly the families of the victims, like, uh, lads, this is a little bit messed up. Can we please stop doing this? And, uh, sadly, they won. And, um, the boys all got, if it, all got executed. So that's fun, isn't it?

Oh, my God. Wow. Except for one, actually, who managed to escape the prison before his execution. And he was never caught. And, yeah, after that, I guess they never tried to make players play for their life ever again. Isn't that sherry? A guy just ran the whole nine yards out of there, didn't he? It's like, screw this.

Anyway, I guess during all the sports he was doing, you worked up quite a lot of leg muscles and could just flee the scene. And that's that from the world of high. steak sports That's incredible There's pretty high stakes there Mikey Thank you for that Very high stakes

Now whenever I'm I mean Not that I'm ever likely To be competing In any sport competition Ever for the rest of my life But whenever I am I'll feel like

What's even the point Because you know Some people Play sports For big money deals Or for their life Or for What was the second one again

A military conscription Oh yeah To get Yeah Released from Korean military conscription So my stakes will never be that high Yeah, no

Next time you see Like a casual five-aside Sunday league Just scream out the window What's even the point lads? What are you playing for? Fun Just run at them with an electric chair Oh god

It's not put a spring in your step Brilliant Ben's gone He has I thought he'd been a bit quiet But I thought maybe he was just listening but I just spotted his message. Gotta go, be right back.

Ben's off collecting his groceries. And because we've come to the end of the podcast, and this is usually where Ben reads off from his script. Do we just freestyle it and see what happens? We could. Now, what comes first without a script in front of me? Thanks for... Yeah, thanks.

Thanks for listening, everyone. If you want to support this podcast? That sounds right. We've done this, what, like nearly 90 times? Yeah. We just go on all about it at this bit. You can go to

streamlabs.com forward slash poddy's donations where for, I'll see I'm doing bits of triple jump at triple jump reads as well now.

I'm extra confused. But you can support us by a £3 donation will get your name right out at the beginning and the end of the show and a donation

of, is it £20 or more? £20 or more? You get a special message read as well. Um, Mikey, tell us about that their coupon code over on Yog shop. Oh, don't we have to read out the names first. I don't know. I feel like we do that after, even though, I don't know.

We can read the names if you're like. Let's do the name. It's just fly by the seat of our poopy pants. Oh, God, we're doing brilliantly. We hold my hand. We're doing great. We're doing great. Yeah, we're doing fine.

Mikey, who was in your troop, your squad this week? We had the wonderful small, when, viewed from space raindrop joy my mum steals my beans on toast Harrison Rathbone DBP's synchro swim team Hugh Johnson's huge Johnson

Big Jenga jinkle specky-becky forgot to donate Mr. Macca Please stop I'm much too floppy Bartek and many others Lightning McQueen Kentucky Fried Chegwin And Begimops

Meggymops Mm, lovely. Also, your mum's special friend, Mr Black, ads mean poddiots is changing. Stephen Skodes. Happy 9 plus 10 equals 21, all. Lord Brotovich, Don Lack 07, pro trainer. Scared to sneeze, got the plops. Tar for getting loose, sanus, right? This is the Google Police. Dick in Ben's Dom and a very generous, very disappointed listener. We've also got Finn Tristam, Fred W didn't tell. tell his friends.

Slapy, no, hang on. Slap, slap, sleepy, dem old slaping balls. Connor is a right, cunt, J.K. Love you. Give it a pet. Left hand, right hand, left hand.

Cunty, cunt eastward. Caroline blocked my Netflix. Poohyside squat, feet, shat catcher. Just keep swimming ash. Trunter fucking did go and ask. Stop clenching your tits. And Pottiot's foiled my crash claim.

I must say the crowd has gone wild. of that storm of a return from Ben Potter, absolutely incredible. Did I miss? Did I miss the last question? Was there a last question? It wasn't a last question, but we were desperately, without the script in front of us, in front of us. We didn't know what to do. And I was doing like the triple jump outro and it was great. So what hasn't, hasn't been done? So we've said, stream labs, potty, it's donations, three pounds or 20 pounds, we've read the names and that's all we've done. We've not done Yogs shop. Hey guys, you did great. Thank you so much.

much. He did apologise for being early. He is early. And I didn't forgive him. Please never, never leave again. Ben and taught us horribly wrong. Never leave again or just send us the script. Yeah, that would probably be best, wouldn't it? Mikey, is there a store? I think you'll find there is a store. If you go on your little web browser on your device of choice and you plop in the letters, store.jorkscast.com. You'll be greeted with a wonderful array of gifts and treats which you can purchase with your own hard-earned dollar, including some lovely bits created by yours truly the Vidyat's Boy and the Vidyids Boys, sorry, it was a team effort. We all...

Well, let's face it, they're mostly created by you. We all work on the ideas. There'll be nothing without the ideas, damn it. We've got a lovely, lovely assortment of t-shirts, mugs and hoodie for you to buy. And if you feel like saving a little bit of moo-law, you can use called Vidyats at checkout for 10% off everything. Everything. Everything. Everything on the Yog store. Not just exclusive to our stuff. If you can use that anywhere and we'll get a little bit of a kickback from it. Isn't that nice? That's called Vidiots. I checkout for 10% off everything. That's well nice.

We have various platforms, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash Vidiates official. We're also on Twitch.tv.tv.com. I believe It's a little way off, but the Sunday the 10th of October, I'm going to be doing a charity stream with Ben. That's the next time I'll be seeing him. So there may well be some activity on there. Soon, I'll confirm it on the next pod. We've got another one between now and then.

Who would like to know what came out slash is coming out on the YouTube channel for the next four-night? Oh, I always forget about this, but it's such a treat. Here we go. I'd love to. And I also think that I tried to make a mental note last time of like something that is happening in this band. And I don't remember what it was or whatever. So maybe you'll jog my memory in the next few minutes. Well, Peter gets hit by a car.

Oh, well, there you go. That might have been here. Today, three years ago. Then we've got Neal's Master Piss, where we played Art Attack on PC. Remember that? That's where I get hit by a car again. Yeah, we do. We do.

We animate that, don't we? Vidiot's live, Twitch stream, The Sims 3. I think we were Sands Peter for that one, because we made. Simon Miller, Dave Benson, Theresa May. I don't remember playing Sims 3. I think we were playing it on the big stage as well, weren't we on the actual Yogscast streaming room?

We played the Sims. I remember we made Louis Brindle's. Louis Brindle, the perfect march. Oh, we did, yeah. No, I was there for that. We turned that we had sliders march, didn't we? So this must have been a sequel. Made like a Gremlin.

I'm entirely sure. Post from tat number three, Ed Miliband. I'm assuming that's where we got the signed Ed Miliband photo. airport to airport GTA 5 challenge That was a piece of cake That's the name of the show Worst games ever

Mass Effect Andromeda Probably the hardest We've had to reach for an episode To be honest Yeah Yeah Yeah Because it's...

Yeah, when a game's not Slappy in the face With poor models and voice acting It does get a bit tricky Doesn't it? We did a lot of sort of Squat, poopy pants running Didn't we?

We didn't quite get the fails We wanted But there we go No video it's live Twitch Dream Dark Souls remaster 2 The Best to Ever Stronaut we played Catastronauts on that one

That's pretty funny Extended Deluxe Directors cut Peter gets hit by a car Shared a little bit of the preamble And the build up to the big event The rapping The wrapping Yeah

We really went in on that In the space of a week didn't we Like we had three videos about it I didn't even realise The Neil's masterpiece Yeah I didn't realize Neil's came out like the next day or whatever. I thought it was like weeks

and weeks later. It is. I can see that video. It's coming up in a second so it's slightly different. Pottie is episode 16, in bed with Neil. Can't get enough of him. Post on tat number 33 for Fox sake and in the photo the thumbnail we're all wearing

Keith Chegwin masks and we have the signed Billy Ray Mel Gibson photo as well. We still own. Rules boss bomb disposal challenge piece of cake remember that

that was a fun one that's a good one like that uh worst games ever America's 10 most wanted who we oh bin larden again wow

bin larden again personal dick rocket sex olympics feet boof hey boof hey doing hello oh yeah we did the sexy games

on whatever old PC based like computer based Amosolet It's an Amstrad, I'm not entirely sure what it was. One of the years. Oh, I thought it was like an old.

Oh, yeah, I don't know. It says in the title. It is, it currently has the restrictions of limited ad suitability. I wonder why. It's weird, isn't it? Sex Olympics. And that is everything. The next day, I'll give a little spoiler.

The 7th of October is actually Peter gets hit by a car again, Art Attack PC. So that's where we were getting. Yeah, I just remembered the first one. We just did a boy who like pisses himself, remember? Yeah, yeah, he does, isn't he? It just does a big way. Almost like a foreshadow and what Mikey did at the skate park with his poo. I don't like this is going to become the canon now until I'm brave enough to see it.

It's real. I mean, it happened, didn't it? Mikey, where can people find you on the internet? At Parrot Boy on Twitter and Twitch and most other websites on the internet. You'll find a fun collection of fun things. It's very fun. Click the fun button and have a look. It's lots of fun.

Thanks. Thanks. And Peter, where can people find? does. We are as a pair at Team Triple Jump on YouTube and Twitch, also social media, Twitter and Facebook. But when we're on YouTube, we're doing videos that will be somewhat familiar to the Vidiots fans of old. So go check that out for appearances by Rules Boss, Billy Ray Walrus, Worst Games Ever, cooking, etc. But also we have our own separate social media presences at that Peter Austin and at Confused underscore Dude.

respectively on Twitter. Yes, we do. Why not leave us a review slash rating on your platform of choice? It helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms. Do we have a final question for the people at him? Which pick and mix sweets

did we not even mention whether good or bad? Because we definitely missed some like, you know, major players, I think. Big hitters in the league of little sweeties. Yeah. What's your favorite and what's your least favorite?

Give us them all. Throw some sweets Let us make us hungry. Let us know. Yeah. Do it. Right. Well, we're going to go now.

Look after yourselves and we'll see you in a couple of weeks. Bye. Gavely. Goodbye. See you later, everyone. Torah. Thank you.