Podiots - Spookiots: Episode 152 – Podiots Is (slightly) Changing

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

Some big developments for Podiots at the beginning of this episode, plus a return from a beloved favourite friend! Peter’s providing short horror stories, Mikey’s reading 1 star horror movie reviews, and Ben’s asking if it’s a Bear or a Scare. PLEASE NOTE: The Reunion Stream date has now changed due to a scheduling conflict. We'll announce a new date in the next episode! Join next episode's Pod Squad: http://podiots.com And check our website and store: http://vidiotsofficial.com -------------------   Subscribe for more and TELL YOUR FRIENDS!   YouTube:https://youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Podiots: https://vidiotsofficial.com Pod Squad: https://podiots.com Shop: https://vidiotsofficial.com/shop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vidiots.official TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@vidiots.official Twitch: https://twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord: https://vidiotsofficial.com/discord/ Site: https://vidiotsofficial.com/   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Maybe it's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories. Yeah, we're around either watching these commercials on TV

or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us. Maybe it's Babelaine. Maybe it's Maple Lane. Oh, winner. No, I don't like it. We're back from the dead. Reanimated.

Hello. Welcome. Just speak it's. What's up with that fucking title though, Peter? You're really putting the willies up me now, son. Oh, sure. Yeah, that's the real. scary thing, the title of the episode. Oh man. That's terrifying that word. Well, those of you who are

sort of listening to this as it goes out will know that we have had a bit of a break since the last episode. And I think we all feel very well rested from it, don't we? Oh, yes. Is that right? Love it. We thought, hey, it's time to come back. It's time to carry on. So we are doing Spooky It's today. Then in November, we'll do another episode. episode towards the end of the month. We'll be doing an episode in December for Christmas and new year. And then in all likelihood, we think from the new year onwards, we may well stick to that monthly schedule. We've had a nice old rest. We do want to continue doing what we do and doing it well. And we think maybe the best way to do that is to actually sort of space those

episodes out a little bit and perhaps allow more time for crazy wacky things to happen to us in our lives so that we can bring along, you know, perhaps more anecdotal stuff that was, you know, from the heady days of early poddiots. And so, yeah, we think it's probably a really good thing to do for the show. And that is our, that's our reasoning. Have I covered everything or any more details? I think you've hit the nail on the head there. We sort of looked inwards and we had a long conversation about a month ago about what we wanted to do after taking a break, you know, because we've been doing this, apart from little breaks over Christmas and New Year's,

we've been doing this since our sort of early to mid-20s, and some of us are in our early 30s now. This is like our longest job. Yeah, so taking a little break, it was like, okay, let's have a little reflection on how we want to make this sustainable, and we want to make it as good as possible for you guys, of course. Appreciate it's going to be a pretty disappointing thing to hear, but we hope you understand our reasoning at least.

And so, Mikey, maybe perhaps you could tell them what we've done to, in an attempt to cushion the blow of this news. Well, we called upon an old character of Vidyat's Law, one who you all are probably very familiar with, and he is sadly too familiar with us, more familiar than he'd like to be. Yeah, we commissioned something very, very interesting. Are we ready to all listen to it now together?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Three, two, one. go hello poddiots listeners it's beloved children's entertainer dave benson phillips he's back now i understand that some of you may be very disappointed to hear that this podcast is reducing its frequency from fortnightly to monthly but i'm here to reassure you that everything will be okay you still get all the great potty at silliness you've come to expect and more the weight between episodes might be agonizing but but think of how much sweeter it'll feel when an episode releases. So tell your friends, support the Pod Squad, and once again, please, yeah, just leave me out of it, all right? Nuff said, bye.

Wow. A lot to unpack there. And this message comes with a whole heap of baggage that we're going to get into right now. Because, of course, when you involve Dave Benson Phillips in anything, it's not straightforward. no like it's just it's we try we try to leave him out of it we try and then he just offers up the most delicious bit and yeah now here we are we also i think we try when we refuse to leave him out of it and we do involve him in it much like we did here we sort of try our best to shepherd him ourselves i feel like like i think we we kind of you know we we we give him a scripts to

read uh we tell him what we want when we want it we say look we we We would very happily pay you for a message. And as it turns out, things don't always go as smoothy as you would expect them to. I mean, for one thing, can I just point out that the delivery of that, it felt a bit less sincere. It's a bit wooden, isn't it? It's a bit wooden. There are at least two, if not three moments in there where I think anyone else would have said, oh, hang on, no, stop. Let's do that again.

I sort of stumbled. But no, he kept on rolling. And my favourite part about that fact, though, is that the only bit that sounds natural and sincere is right at the end when he tells us to leave him out of it. He suddenly goes back into, no, this is actual Dave now. This is what I feel. Leave me out of it. It was a fascinating sort of back and forth that is actually to give you a peek behind the curtain at the time of recording still ongoing. Because I reached out to Dave, what was it, like a couple of weeks ago now?

because he was sort of, he was very much our white whale. We knew that this news would be disappointing to some. We thought, what would be a fun way to sort of cushion the blow a bit? Here's a few like shortlist ideas, some relevant people to poddits who are on cameo that maybe we could just play the audio of if we paid them to make a message. What if we try and reach out to Dave Benson Phillips again? We know that he went rogue last time and wanted us to leave him out of it, but we also know that people have paid for him to do messages for us,

and he has recorded them since then. So there was a chance that maybe he'd be okay. I reached out to his agent. I asked how much it might cost. His agent didn't reply with a cost, but said that he would send the script over to Dave. By the way, I did ask if he could say 150 points at the end and he didn't do that.

Oh, what? He never gets that right. I literally read the script verbatim, apart from the 150. I mean, you can hear him reading it word by word. It's pretty obvious. It's reading it off his phone. Then he, of course, did end up recording it as recently as yesterday at the time of recording. We were having conversations like, I have chased a couple of times now and also asked for a price a couple of times now, and I've not had anything through. So we were sort of resigning ourselves to the fact that we may have to record two versions of this intro, one where Dave does come through before it's edited, and one where he doesn't. And we have to go with an alternative. Fortunately, he came through. The important thing to note, though, is that after I emailed asking what the price would be for a third time, we got sent that audio file for free.

We've not paid. We've not paid anything. His agent just sent it to us, and we couldn't really understand why or believe it. So I sent it to you guys and said, what do we do? do we press for do we push for like a price or something because the accompanying message was hi Ben hope this is okay

no mention of price at all yeah we've still not had a price it's not even like oh we had a message through with the file attached hey hey guys hope this is okay Dave says oh it'll be you know whatever tenor or a hundred quid or anything in between and then at least all right yeah you shouldn't really send the file to us without having been paid

but at least there's an honesty system there. There's an honour system in place where it's like, all right, I've told you how much you send back to me now, enjoy your file. But we've not even had a price to send. This is why Dave's doing Shores for stuff because it's urgent just refuses to talk about money. This is it.

This is the realization we're coming to because it's developed further than that since last night. So after asking you guys, should we ask again for a fourth time about how much he wants for this? Peter said, this man needs money, we need to pay this man, which is a fair point. We can't not pay him. Yeah. So I replied last night at 8pm saying, hello, agent of Dave Benson Phillips, who we're still

just a little bit convinced might just be Dave himself. Hi, agent of Dave Benson Phillips, that's spot on. Please thank Dave for us. How much does he want for it? Thanks, Ben. And then today, an unbelievable reply. We simply cannot get our heads around this.

It just doesn't make it any sense. From a business perspective. His agent gets back to us again and says, Hi, Ben. Do you want to pop something into PayPal for him? And then just sent a URL for the PayPal to pay question mark amount of money. Just whatever we feel like.

And I hasten to ask. The URL they send is the email address of the agent, not of Dave. So they've sent their own PayPal account. And maybe that's how Dave does all of his business dealings. I'm not suggesting that there's anything untoward going on. But we've just been sent the agent's PayPal account and the message, do you want to pop something into PayPal? Like Dave did it as a favor to us, you know?

So there's two baffling schools of thought here. One is that he views us with. such contempt that he simply doesn't want our money and doesn't care about it. He did the message to make us go away and doesn't want our money. But the alternative is that actually this is just how he does business, which is... It explains so much. Mind blowing.

Oh, God. It honestly, it reminds me of like a box of eggs outside a farmhouse. and there's a cardboard sign that says suggested donation 50 pence. Yeah, it's an honesty box. Yeah, it's an honesty box. Not even an actual price. Yeah, it's insane. I reckon they did the same thing with Come Dine with me,

where Dave went on the show for free and then said, I don't know, do you want to pop something into PayPal for him? Oh, God. I mean, he knows how to put on a show, I'll tell him that. Rather than just getting a voice message, we got a whole storyline to go with it, so you know what? It's spectacular. This went, like, I mean, we went in with expectations of something to talk about, and it far exceeded anything that we could have, like, even in the script, and I told you guys this, I put, in parentheses, at the end, Dave can promote his business here if he wants to. Partly because I thought there was no way that he could resist doing that, but mainly because I thought that if he did do it, it'd be really funny that he suddenly just started promoting his website or something at the end of the message.

But he didn't do that and he somehow still overdelivered for free currently because we need to decide right now how much I'm going to pop into Dave's PayPal for him. This isn't a bit. We genuinely, we were waiting until now live on air to decide how much we paid Dave Benson Phillips. So I mean, we have to look at the whole picture here. It is last time for £50, we got a video as well, correct? We did. So, yeah, I mean, instantly, that adds some value to things. Who was it that managed to green screen that in the end?

Me, barely. Yeah, it was a brilliant job. I added lots of fuzzy effects on it on purpose to hide the very fuzzy background that wouldn't key out properly. Yeah. I think audio quality, I feel like I could hear a faint hum of a washing machine in the background, the video, if you listen real carefully. He did a show for that washing machine. Maybe he was rewinding his stack of. DVDs. Maybe that's what you were hearing. Yeah, possibly. So it was 50 quid last time for a video.

Yeah. This is, this is 2018 Dave Benson Phillips. We're talking about 2024 Dave Benson Phillips, who's been on Come Dine with me. He didn't say 150 points as requested. He didn't. So that's a little off. Yeah. But he did add some ad lib stuff to the delivery of Leave Me Out of it, which made it feel very convincing, as you said. Yeah, that came from the heart, I think. Yeah. We're playing with house money here, right? This is literally your Pod Squad money at work. I forgot about that bit, yeah. This is from the pot.

Maybe we should let the audience decide. You reckon? Between now and the next. He won't get paid for a month. I don't think he's going to know. I think this is if we, this feels to me the approach is, if we get anything, that is a victory. But why do the message then? Why take the time?

And also, I'll tell you what surprised me as well. Well, what surprised me for a start was that he actually did the message for his full stop in terms of why doesn't he hate us? You know, I thought he would just not even reply. But the fact that he was game to do it, why does, it's like he's never done one of these before. And, you know, there's no infrastructure in place. Surely he occasionally gets requests, or at least he could be doing if he, again, if he set up a cameo or I'm sure he used to be on a different service provider. I don't think he was ever on cameo, but it was on one of those other ones. I can't remember what the other ones are called, but he's done, he used to advertise

before that he does messages, but this whole process has been like he's never done it in his life or his agent has no idea what is going on. How much is it worth? So you think we should, you think maybe we should wait until the episode is out a week from now? Well, if they don't cheers us for money like then like you know it's fine you'll still get it

yeah yeah you're still gonna get money more more than they asked for more than more than they really were contractually

obliged to give them hmm do I trust our audience enough to to not we can override our audience I think

but it's just the fact we've given we've been given a blank check it's like a humble bundle you know we could send him

we could send him 30p yeah i think um to stop our audience rather than have it be an open poll where everyone can suggest one thousand pounds and then vote for that i think if we maybe come up with a set of amounts um maybe based on 150 points you know we could it could be one pound 50 15 pounds and then it's already getting a bit high that's enough we've already reached the ceiling there yeah um or you know We can suggest a range of prices in a poll and people can vote for how much

we should pay their money to Dave, how much of that should go. I'm willing to ignore any follow-up emails if there are any, because it's very much been one-way traffic this conversation until this episode releases and we can put a poll out. And then when we do pay, regardless of whether they've messaged chasing or not,

depending on how aggressive the chasing is. I can just reply and say, I'm really sorry, I've been massively swamped, I've sent something over now, hope that's okay. And then that'll be fine, probably. They can hardly complain in the meantime

that we've, you know, we've not been very communicative or we've not given the unpromised amount of money that they had in their mind. Do you want to pop something into PayPal for him? Do I? Do we?

I don't know. Well, I don't know. not. I don't actually know. This is what my gut's saying. We can disagree. Go on. 10, 20, 30.

10 being the cheapy, 20 being the, yeah, fair. 30 being the big blowout kind of, yeah, Dave's getting a treat. Dave's getting at Golds tonight. Okay. Okay. I think that works because that that caps out as more than half the price that we would have, that we did pay for a video message, which, you know, I think does take more, more effort. And, you know, it's a more substantial thing.

I googled the words Dave Benson Phillips and voice message and I found a forum post on mumsnet.com where someone has posted a thread saying how would I go about asking a semi-celebrity to record me a voicemail message? Well they weren't talking about him

but then down in the replies someone has put Loll Dave Benson Phillips did this for my cousin once and that was posted in November 2020 So about this time last year So he has done one At least in the past 12 months But they've just sort of forgotten How to handle it all by the looks of it

Well we will put out a poll Once this episode goes live And you guys can help us decide How much Dave gets paid for this message Because for some reason that's been left up to us Which doesn't make any sense No Whatsoever

But the real headline here is that we are going down to monthly releases and we thank you for your understanding and your patience. We do have one other thing that we would like to announce to cushion that blow and that is that the annual Vidiot's Reunion Live Stream which won't be in person but will be remote like we do every year where we spend a whole evening

getting drunk and playing video games and reacting to old content, raising money for charity. That will be happening again this year and it will be happening on Friday the 13th of December time TBC but we will let you know the details soon but put that in your calendars 13th of December

we hope to see as many of you there as possible and we'll raise money for a good cause and all hang out together so thank you so much everyone we hope this news isn't too disappointing for you Dave Benson Phillips himself recorded a message for free because he feels so strongly about it as I said I forgot about the whole

fact that we were reducing down to a month because monthly because we spent the last 20 minutes just talk about Dave Yeah, that's it's old news now But just to add to that As well as doing the live stream You will still get a monthly episode of Polly It's in December as well

So don't be thinking you're going to miss out on that Just because we're doing the reunion stream You get both Yep, certainly will Without further adieu Do you guys, have you guys seen Kevin anywhere? I wonder what he's been doing all this time It's probably not been playing much music out of his mouth

Wouldn't have thought so, no. Oh, look, look, I can see, I can hear him squeaking from the distance. He's got, he's got a little spooky Halloween costume on. Oh, look at that. It's too, it's too scary. Hello, everybody, I mean, hello everybody, I mean, hello everybody and welcome to Spooky. It's the official spookiest. Spookcast. It's a conversational spook cast. The cat is on the keyboard. Go away. Where we take some questions from you at home and obey the law of the three urs, where everybody brings a third thing.

A spook. A spook. A spook. Two spooks. Yep. I'm Ben. I'm Peter. And I'm Mikey. Hello. Guys, it's so lovely to talk to you again. I haven't shared a word with either of you. since the summer. It's true, yeah. Just been ignoring one another.

No, yeah. Yeah, well, we came back to do some hard business negotiating earlier. But yeah, we did. Mikey slammed his fist on the table and said, I want 33% at least. And we said, that's what you have now. That's exactly how much you. Well, actually, all three of us only have 25%.

And the other 25% goes to Kevin. It does. Yeah, Kevin does have a pretty big show, actually. He does very little work, but he does have a big share. Isn't he about a bank account? We just slip notes into his mouth hole. It's weird. We just pretend their notes.

We draw them. We've got a load of fake movie ones from Amazon, and he thinks they're real. So don't. And every time you slip one into his mouth, it does just a tiny little bit of the, it goes, da, da, da, and then he shuts his mouth again. He does. I think he knows on some level that it's not a real note. Otherwise, he'd play the whole thing.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. But, yeah, one of the beautiful things about doing this a little less regularly is that lots things in our lives happen between each episode. And so we can have a nice, a lovely catch-up. One of the first things we should mention, of course, is that all of us, per Kevin's hashtag deface Google Adventures, have been on a massive holiday all around the world. So if you happen to browse to one or more sort of famous monuments and geographical features

from around the world, you might see us on the Google reviews. having been there. And that was pretty exciting, wasn't it? Going to all those amazing places. Around the world tour. That's what your Pod Squad money has gone towards. Dave's message and our massive holiday. Yeah, it certainly has.

Additionally, our photo of Peter and I holding hands in front of Snappy's Tomato Pizza has now been viewed one million times on Google Maps. Wow. I don't trust these emails at Google sends you. Is that right? A million people? I get like an email every once in a while like, wow, wow, 500,000 people have viewed your edit. I'm like, really?

Who's looking at obscure van companies in the middle of the Midlands? Audience presents. Snappy's tomato pizza, yeah. There's no way that a million people have even searched for Snappy's tomato pizza in Bristol in that time, let alone it clicked on the map marker and then seen us. No way. No way. No way.

no way one thing I would like to know though more so than anything else is what you guys have been up to outside of our globe trotting adventure Mikey where have you been what have you been doing what have you been fucking doing man

oh Jesus like during the break I did like I set aside a little page of my notes up like this is where I'm going to write fun things that happen while we're not recording so I've got something to talk about and you want to know the one thing

I wrote in that notes up what's that went to Asda Bedminster No birds Just a man shouting in the Chouting in the trolley house

Like literally Out front of the shop Is you know Like the little sheds Where trolleys live Like little plastic things Just a man in there screaming at every person

That went into the shop I'm fuck your mum Like swearing everyone's mum off As I went in Fuck yeah Something like that I couldn't quite make it out Something about everyone's mothers

It was my first time at Asda Bedminster in a while So I was quite excited to go back and it delivered. Still shed a little tear every time I walk past the cake printing machine that isn't there anymore. Oh, the old ladies that used to deliver our cakes. Isn't he sure that's right? Yeah. That's what I wanted. You had a birthday, Mikey. That's one thing. Speaking of that cake thing, because on our social media, Kevin put out a video of your birthday post some tat where Peter remembered that you were vegan and couldn't eat the cake we bought you.

Yeah, I had a lovely birthday. I'm 30 now, which is, yeah. Oh, wow. The last of the vidiates to turn 30. Yeah, we're all old men now. Not saying we're old, but we're older men at least. Yeah, we are. I did go, I went on like a big trip. God must be, when did I go on the big trip?

End of August, September, maybe. Yeah. This is one, I've been waiting to talk about this. It's quite an involved story. So I don't know if I should wait till next month to bring it or do. Or it could be your thing. Don't waste it. it is honestly you're gonna forget it yeah no no there's pages of notes about this trip oh my god okay wow

because i started writing notes as it was happening because like this is this is worth writing down because uh this could get interesting and it got really interesting so i'm gonna leave you on that cliffhanger and next time i'll have a a full dossier of mikey's cycling trip around countries oh wow well it's like me i had a thing ready for this episode i was like oh yeah i've been working on this for a little while i'm gonna save it for potty it's for rather than just post it online myself. And then it was a, it's spooky it's so I can't, it's not spooky related. So it has to wait till November.

So there you go. You've already, dear viewers and listeners, got a promise of hot, exciting content next month. Yeah, boy. You do. What have you been up to, Ben? Well, I went on a big holiday to Italy. That was quite exciting. My girlfriend and I drove around northern Italy, went to a lot of places, saw,

David's, not at Dave on Twitter, not Dave Benson Phillips, but saw David's full winkle, his wonkles and his buttox as well. And that was pretty incredible. He's got... Made by a ninja turtle, right? Made by a ninja turtle already very impressive. Michael Angelo. Makes it way more impressive. And no one, everyone talks about his winkle, right? No one talks about his bum. Have you guys seen this dude's ass? No, because it's all it's all dick It's all dick You think about Dave

You think that guy's got a That's the guy with the penis, right? Yeah You don't think that about many other men But you think about David And you think That's the guy with the He's got the winkle, isn't he?

That one with a oneckel But his bum's incredible It's kicked I know about yeah Fully kicked up right And obviously he faces the hall So you see, like, he presents his Johnson and Johnson directly to the viewing public. Right.

But then there's a row, there's like an alcove of benches around his behind, so that you can actually sit and look at the bum, which I think is... The bum bench. The bum bench, which I think is actually very forward thinking. So that was incredible. Saw the statue of Pisa. That was all right. Wasn't that, wasn't that amazing, to be honest?

Deli Tower. with it the statue of Pisa yeah the leaning towel that's what I meant that is what I meant I saw the leading tower pizza sorry Mikey did I get what

did you get a picture with it did you do the the classic tourist photo I did actually I'll send you I'll send you a photo it's actually a really good one I think it was one of the better ones it is good I've seen it

I like it a lot I'm gonna have to try and find it though it's in a folder but while I do that I'll tell you that we stayed in Airbnb's and there was there were two locations and two occasions

where an elderly Italian man try to let himself into our apartment Oh God The same man or a different man? A different man, if it was the same man who followed us across the country I would be a bit more concerned Thankfully it wasn't

But yeah so this It turns out it was the In both instances it was actually the While he wasn't doing the internet interfacing Much like Dave Benson Phillips He was the owner of that specific flat that we were staying in.

But one of the mornings we woke up and we just heard the door handle rattling we're like, what the fuck is that? And this house in particular was actually it felt very haunted. The furniture was extremely old. It had no microwave, no Wi-Fi. That's a very haunted

attribute to have no microwave. You know there's a ghost around if there's no microwave. Famously ghost. hate microwaves so the lack of microwave was a telltale sign so we we stayed there and we heard this we heard this rattling at the door like what the hell is that so we messaged the Airbnb host like we think someone just tried to let him let themselves into the accommodation and they replied and said I'm so sorry that's my father he's 80 he likes to say hello to people and we're like what

what the fuck it was actually very sweet and both elderly attention Italian men didn't speak a word of English and we didn't speak any Italian, but they were very enthusiastic and very welcoming. And we had a lovely time in their respective accommodations, even though there were ghosts there. So I've sent you the photo now, Mikey. You can see me doing the pose. Oh, you nailed it. Perfect. The tower looks so, like it's leaning so much. Yeah, that's the thing. Most of the photos I took, it didn't actually look that bad. Yeah, it's just doing straight looking. Yeah. What about you, Peter?

What have you been doing? I've been all over this week. But my favourite plate, I've actually got a supermarket-related story that happened to me as well. No birds involved. But as I was on my way into a Liddle a few weeks ago, I saw what turned out to be a member of the public, tackle another member of the public, and scuffle with him sort of on the floor in the porch of the Liddle. and they were properly going at it and the the victim if you like the bottom was

there's got to be a better way to describe that no absolutely not it was a young sort of oh I don't know he's the kind of guy who I'd have been a bit worried to walk past in the street at night let's just say that he looked like he's got friends in low places

and the guy who had grabbed him was a much older man with some sunglasses on and the guy who was on the ground going get off man get off get off now get off man and then eventually some members of staff also came and just

kind of stood and watched they did not get involved at all and it turned out that when they got up off the floor the younger guy reached into his pants and dropped three stakes on the floor

and then and then just sort of he threw them on the floor and then just sort of like walked off very quickly he didn't want to run because that would have looked you know I don't know uncool or suspicious I'm fine I'm chill about it alright you might have caught me

but I'm just going to go so he was walking but as fast as he possibly could doesn't even need the stakes doesn't even want him well yeah I mean he'd seemingly put three stakes down his trousers tried to walk out with them and there had been a citizen's arrest or

or a citizen's grapple but you know my biggest question was and I should have watched to see if it happened whether the pants steaks went back on the shelf I don't know

I don't know if they did yeah are they tainted sticks like I don't know like it's all in packages yeah I mean they're vacuum sealed but maybe they'll go on the reduced aisle with the yellow staker on it

has had Willie on it tastes just as good like wonky veg he made the room mistake there by trying to disguise the stakes in his pants. Just walk out of there with them in your hands. Act like you own him. Don't shove them in your pants. I could see a guy walk out Tesco just the other day with like a four pack of carling in his hands. Just sauntered out the place. You know on bat an eyelid. You definitely didn't pay for them. So yeah, it's some handy

advice kids. If you want to steal, just walk out with them. Just put on high biz. Carry a ladder. You'll be fine. As the carling inspector here again. Well, lovely. Haven't we all been up to some amazing things? Td Bank knows that running a small business is a journey, from startup to growing and managing your business. That's why they have a dedicated small business advice hub on their website to provide tips and insights on business banking to entrepreneurs,

no matter the stage of business you're in. Visit td.com slash small business advice to find out more or to match with a TD small business banking account. Manager And this is part of the reason we're reducing episode frequency to allow these things to happen because I think we miss

poddiettes of old where silly things happened it's turned into a sort of here's a very interesting thing but you know it's from the internet or it's from a book or something so this is what you can expect hopefully going forwards

absolutely and if you want to support what we're doing going forward and maybe you want to help us pay Dave Benson Phillips or not, then you should go to poddiots.com. If you go there and donate three pounds or more, you'll get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of Poddietz. You support what we do here

and all the ridiculous things that we may or may not spend your money on. So please do consider doing that. We've got, it's been a little while since we've done an episode, obviously. So today's Pod Squad is lengthy, and it's ready to go, and Mikey's going to kick us off. We begin with Frogly Chegg is love Chegg is life

The generous raindrop joy Who says So happy to see you lovely boys back I have listened to each episode Multiple times Thanks for the years of entertainment Kise Kise Question Mark

Kis Kis Kis Thank you very much Rangrop Joy We continue with Ola Bored Choo-Coo-Too That's Orla, like a name, Bored, like a game board.

That's a thing, and chew you like a train. Very good. No. Dr. Goblin. Caroline, it's been a while. Is this, is Pod Squad the only way that Caroline and I think partner to communicate with each other? The relationship's broken down quite severely at this point. Read down, Caroline, please feed the cats.

Caroline, please feed the cats. Caroline, the cats haven't been fed and they're now dead. Yeah. You have 30 minutes to move your cube. Lord change to Vic He knew somehow He knew He did

You've been You've been talking to de Corpth Fred That right You've been talking to the copth Fred Specky Becky Stephen Scourdes Thought Peter should know

There's now a time team podcast Wow How is still alive though Tony's there yeah let me have Tony's there I'm that's really all I'm in for Tony's still live and kicking

okay good and we finish with the lovely 21 drizzling dick sores thank you goodness gracious me we've also got Hope I'm on time to say

welcome back boys girls and others four separate donations wow thank you France is bacon, French dip is magic, big round jabbers make me hut, Scott Chegg, she pod, on my D, till it hurts. And Billy Bear Beef Wellington. Oh, good grief.

Sounds awful. Yeah, it does. And finally we have Mr Macca, a super. Acculent Australian corpse. Oh, no. These ones are getting closer to episode 150 when this was relevant, I think. Yeah, wait, I forgot, yeah. Did he die like before or after that episode?

I think around the time, yeah. I think we've talked about it on an episode. Sad. You, the very generous, you say, wank, if we give coin, who said, wants to get this ready for near 150, but was sidelined for weeks by an unplanned hospital visit had a crazy old man next to me in my room never get sick boys much love to all of you sincerely yens herman oh yens we hope you're doing okay now yeah i hope you're doing a right yens you've been better thank you you give you you gave coin so we will all say wank

for you now wank wank wank okay we go perfect hi i m barry scott bang that's the donation name balls out three poo anus I think that's fall out three New Vegas maybe oh yeah Bethesda presents balls out three poo anus

unbelievable yeah that's good she daves my Benson until I Phillips the very generous whiskey Mike who said I'll be married by the time you read this hope you're married on an episode

So maybe here's a shout out for that. Would you? Or give us a shout out for that. Would you? There's a typo in there. Cheers for the laughs, lads. All the best, Mike, from Draw the Fans One. Oh, wow.

Congratulations, Mike. Congratulations, Mike. And to Mike's new spouse. Yes. Congratulations. Send us a wedding picture and we'll do another Draw the Fans. We could do one on the reunion stream, potentially. Yeah, we could, actually.

That's a good idea. We also have Prince Beefcakes Durst Game Ever Which is very good Ben shops in Aldi on Sundays I actually went in an Aldi today So that's Wednesdays as well And Billy Bear Beef Wellington

For a second time Oh yeah She's also there Thank you so much Pod Squad, sorry Do you think The Ben Shops and Aldi on Sundays Is from someone who's actually seen you

In an Aldi on Sunday And they're just trying to be a little bit A little bit scary. I mean, potentially, that's, yeah. I did bump into someone in a Tesco when I was checking out the other week, but my trolley was full of vodka. So, I mean, you can read into that what you want. It's no mystery.

Yeah, but it's not Aldi. Yeah, drinking alcohol. I was going to drink it. That's what I was going to do. I'm having some now. So, fucking mystery solved. Thank you so much, Pod Squad. We really appreciate you.

And we will appreciate your support, even more so going forward. forwards poddiots.com, three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of Poddietz. Thank you so much. Well, we are 45 minutes into this podcast. I suppose it's time to do the first thing. We've, of course, turned to our wonderful listeners on Twitter slash, not going to say it, to request some things. I neglected, unfortunately, to request specifically spooky things, because this is Spooky It's. But perhaps we should start with the spookiest thing that was submitted by multiple listeners, and I believe Michael Johnson has that. You are correct. The thumbnail for this alone is horrifying, so boy, I can't

wait to dive in. Yes, this was sent in by multiple people. Here we have listed Sarah at Bags for dice, Fergus Jeffs, at F Jeffs 1, and Greg Miller at Greg Mill 2290. This is a story from Sky News. And the headline reads, Children's Soft Play Centre apologises over body bag Halloween decorations. Oh, gosh. There's this in the subtitle. God, the name of the air, the, the, the, the, this is soft play. Rugrats and half pints in Sirencester.

Gloucestershire said they will be removed after concerns from shocked parents. Would you like to see? a picture of a body bag. Yes, please. God, it's not just the body bag. It's everything surrounding the body bag. It's so realistic. It is.

It doesn't look like, you know, a lot of Halloween decorations are so cheap and tacky that they don't look like the thing they're supposed to be. That could just be meat in a bin bag. It could be a person. Yeah, a person. Could be a child. It's person meat in a bin bag.

I mean, yeah. like people at home, it is what looks like a human body wrapped in bin bags with what looks like bungee cord wrapped around the neck held up by big steel pools. So yes, quite a horrifying image for rug rats and half pints to enjoy. At the beginning of the article here, it says a link, why you can trust Sky News. Oh, I won't. Yeah. Well, we'll see what we think of them by the end of this. Oh my God, there's more pictures. Oh, okay. Oh, I'll read a bit more and I'll send the pictures, yeah, this is bad. Someone, someone messed up here. A children's soft play centre has apologised and removed its realistic looking Halloween body bags after concerns from shock

parents. One mother, who took her daughter to Rugrats in half pints in Sire and Gloucestershire on Sunday, said she did a double take when she spotted the decorations. Pictures show they resemble human bodies covered in black pastic. Some wrapped with tape and marked caution, and danger, hanging upside down from pools, adjoining one of the soft-played structures. The mother, who didn't want to be named, told Sky News, I went inside with my daughter. The body bags were at the back, which can't be seen from the cafe area, only by the kids inside. That is shocking. When they're not accompanied by a comforting adult.

Hey, kids, come around here, look at the implied death. Oh, my God. finish this quote and I'm going to send the second picture, which is stunning. When I saw them, I just did a double take. Surely that can't be what I think it is. I just didn't want to have to explain to my kid what they were. I spoke to some other parents after who were as shocked as I was that it was deemed, shocked as I was that it was deemed appropriate. It's a great soft play, but that did shock me a bit. Now this, like yeah, this made me recoil. So I'm going to send God, there's more pictures.

Oh, my God, yeah. Here's the two remaining pictures in the article. I would not send my child anywhere near this place. Oh, my God. It's so realistic. They are so human-shaped, and they are upside down.

What on earth? There aren't even any other Halloween decorations. It's just body bags. No pumpkins. No bats. I think even... The walls are yellow, though. Maybe this is what the video room

got turned into. Yeah, that's what would have happened to us if it wouldn't have earned our wages. back after the fabled second year. I was going to say in that final image, you know, you have, in these soft play areas, you sometimes have the hanging sort of soft play foam, almost like boxer punching bags.

And, you know, you've got that hanging right next to the body as though you can go and interact with it, if you like. It's mad. I think even for a play area that would be appropriate to the sort of age of kid that you would expect to be in there, I think even fake blood might be a bit too much. I think if you're talking Halloween decorations for this kind of environment, you're talking cartoon pumpkins,

cartoon witches, maybe a couple of skeletons. That's it. Or some sheets with eyes on them. Exactly. This looks like children did not escape or did not go back to their parents in Thai. Yeah. Oh, God.

It is brilliant. The article continues. The centre's website says it is committed to providing a safe, clean and stimulating environment, with the emphasis on fun. Yes. The final line of this article, I think, is particularly excellent, the way it signs off. Okay. If you want to see, if you want to see these body bags for yourselves,

the prices here range from 575 up to 1175 per child. what you get when you spend the extra fivers. That's the full body bag experience. You get to go in the body bag. Yeah, that's the... And for 15 pounds, you get to leave alive. You know, they'll let you go at the end. A spokesperson told Sky News,

this is the first time someone has brought it to our attention. So, of course, due to this, we will take them down immediately. It wasn't... God, it wasn't to cause distress. And we apologize, this is how they have felt. We apologize, you feel this way. Sorry, you were upset. Sorry about you feeling that way.

Yeah. Oh, dear. And, yeah, it was the winner of the Travelers Choice Award 2022. And the final line of the article here reads, in essence, Rugrats and Halfpints is the soft player center you have been waiting for. A court. Come see our implied dead children. you've been waiting for us and we've been waiting for you get in the bag

five stars five stars amazing amazing good god thank you very much to everyone who's admitted that that is horrifying it is a bad choice there whenever i think of um sort of the seedy or dirtier side of soft play areas i always remember that my cousin's cousin who i only met on a few occasions once told us that the soft play area near him occasionally allowed teens in at certain times of the week and he said that there was this bit where if you crawled through you could get sort of into the behind the scenes where you'd go out of this hole and it would just be concrete

and he said there were sometimes used condoms there which is you know lovely that like the 17 year olds that go into the concrete bit at the back of the soft play area the cement fuck palace behind the scenes yeah indeed it's never left my mind and now whenever any story like this comes up. I'm like, oh, yeah, the condoms in the concrete fuck palace. Yeah.

There were a lot of formative memories there. A lot of teenagers became adults, perhaps, in that facility. Wow. Well, thank you very much, Mikey, for that. It is time for, fingers crossed, the next spooky thing, which is courtesy of Peter Rock. Okay, flights on air Canada. Oh, wow. Mayorka, that's new.

Oh, nice. But Vienna is a close. Classic, Mozart, palaces and schnitzel. Now you're cooking. If you're hungry, deli brings the heat. Heat. Cartagena's got sun and the sea to cool off. So does Martinique.

And that French cuisine? Book it. Yes, chef. Wait, what about Lyon? Choose from our world of destinations if you can. Air Canada. Nice travels. Boston.

Indeed, mine is spooky. I can promise that. Fantastic. Or, well, it's not. but it's spooky adjacent. So I have been on the Twitter account, which I believe, let me get the exact name of it, I think it's called Bad Two Sentence Horror,

which is based on the subreddit, two sentence horror. Are you familiar with that, Ben? I think I've seen some like screenshots of people posting these things before. I have a feeling Mikey is probably familiar with it. Yeah, I'm familiar with it. it's at bad two sentence and the two is a number two and so all I've done is I've compiled some good posts from bad two sentence horror and for those who don't know who are watching or listening it's a subreddit

where you go on and you post two sentence horror stories so you put the first sentence of the horror story in the title of the post and then in the main body you put the second sentence so you know it's a bit like that this isn't a horror story but it's a bit like the two-sentence tragedy which is something like for sale engagement ring

never worn or something you know someone's bought the ring and it wasn't needed yeah that kind of thing but scary I've got some of the worst ones for you here and we're going to enjoy them together so we'll start with

when we got married my husband said to me that he would never let my stomach go empty. Now I'm carrying his fourth child, and I'm beginning to realize he didn't meant food. I'm scared. He didn't meant food. He didn't meant food.

No. This is rubbish. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. Her many children, she claimed, all died from the flu. Whilst she fled town, the coroner's report did come. come through, stating the hag must have poisoned each child's stew. That's it.

For starters, that's too many syllables. It's, yeah. And secondly, it's too many syllables. There's nothing suspenseful about that at all. No. It reads like a limerick or something, though. I mean, put a sing-song behind it. I mean, to tell it to children you see in the woods, that's probably a bit work all right.

Oh, indeed. Very good. they say you only die when you're forgotten I lie in my coffin as I have for the last 1,000 years waiting for the sweet release of death I wish I had never cured cancer What? There's so much to unpack there

I know I know The one ailment that will end humanity The one thing So this person cured cancer and so they lived forever Because they've been remembered And they can't die, they're just awake. And he's lying there regretting having cured cancer. God.

Some of these, I've got to assume, were submitted as jokes. So they've all gone on to, remember, the subreddit is simply two-sentence horror. The subreddit isn't bad two-sentence horror. These were, you know, a lot of these, I think, are meant to have been somewhat creepy. But there's got to be some silly ones here. For example, after days of constipation, I was finally able to take a shit. My relief turned to horror when millions of legs spawned from the mass in the toilet and it tried to crawl back up my anus. Surely a joke, right? I mean, that is horrifying, but

if it happened, it would be, but that's just comical. That's funny. Yeah. I was so surprised when my wife told me she was pregnant. We had been the only two left after the apocalypse a few years back and we were lesbians. That one's really, that's just confusing more than anything else. I'm not even sure what's meant to have happened there. Whether it's, it's either an immaculate conception or she's been having it away with like a gorilla or something. Oh man.

There's a lot of world building in that. Yeah, it's a weird one. We awoke last night to find our little girl taking her first steps and speaking her first words. She is less than a week old and the language was tongues and the steps were across the ceiling of our bedroom. It's just a lot in the second sentence. You could have just left that and she was only a week old. I think that's scary. That's spooky enough. This is actually really funny. I don't know whether they were trying. I don't think they were trying to be funny, but a dying man pushed something into my hands. He told me I must use it. I'm sure one

day when it's most important, I'll find a use for this EpiPen. That's just a joke. Yeah, it is, isn't it? That's just a joke that your uncle would tell you. That's better than any of the fringe jokes we always hear. It is, yeah. They called me delusional when I insisted that my sister was actually an alien infiltrator. Standing over her bloody body, I realize that they may have been, dot, dot, dot, right.

I only the only reason I laughed at that was the was the dot dot dot you know I think without it it's just a fairly standard two sentence horror but you know they may have been right yeah they were correct

the ellipsis really the suspension even though it's already given you the punch line this is great I hope no one hears our terrible secret I said to my friend I did said big ears man Was that written by a six-year-old?

Sounds like it, yeah. Big Ears Man. Big Ears Man heard your secret. It's like some kind of thing your parents would tell you when you're a kid. Like, you know, don't say rude things about people behind the back. The Big Earman will find out. I love petting my cat, I said to myself as I turned on the lights. Turns out my cat was sitting on the other side of the room.

I was petting the hairy ball sack of the killer clown that wants to kill me Oh my God There's so many words in that Yeah The killer clown that wants to kill me Why was it a hairy ball sack It could have just been the clown's head or something

But no Maybe it was like a Siamese or you know One of those Sphinx cats or something Yeah maybe Oh Jesus Please God don't let us it look in the closet, I silently prayed. Please, God.

Don't let it look in the closet. It parroted back from the next room. Now, the reason I like that one is because when I first read it, I read it like this. Please God, don't let it look in the closet. I quietly prayed. Please, God, don't look in the closet. It parroted back from the next room. That's way

funnier. The mockingbird. Yeah. I've got three more left. There's a guy in my class that could only answer 10 to any questions he's asked. One day, one of my classmate went missing, and he now say 11. Oh, what? That's scary. Yeah, very scary. This one's horrific. I'm pregnant and you're the father, she said to me. How long has my cat been able to talk, I thought. Oh, what the hell. That's gross, isn't it? That's horrible. Yeah. People like that one, did they?

Yeah, apparently, yeah. And we'll end on this one that really just got me. It made me laugh out loud. Sir, you're sure you haven't eaten... Oh yeah, hang on, yeah. Okay, sir, so you're sure you haven't eaten anything that might upset our readings. I'm sure, I said, as I finished swallowing 1,900 tungsten ball bearings before entering the MRI room. Fuck's sake. Why is it 1,900? That's the optimal amount for shrapnel.

Yeah. I'm sure, I said, as I finished swallowing 1,900. God's sake. Tungsten ball bearings. Terrible. There we go. So I hope you're all sufficiently spooked now. Blessedly hell.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight. No, me neither. Christ. Thank you very much, Peter, for those. You're very well. It's just as well I'm moving on to the next listener submitted thing, which comes courtesy of, will the page load? Yes, it will. Greg Miller at Greg Mill 2.290 on Twitter. This is an article written by Sky News. Why you can trust Sky News.

Police discover drugs in bag labeled definitely not a bag full of drugs. Here's the photo of the horse. It's quite a significant hall, I've got to say. Maybe one of you can describe what's in that photo. Oh, my God. Wow. Well, so there's a sort of a Hessian zip bag. It's like a pencil case that says definitely not a bag full of drugs.

In an almost live, laugh, love kind of font as well. There's two sparkles on it too. Yeah. And then there's various little baggies of, it looks kind of crystalline. I was going to say cocaine, but it's not. Oh, and there's blue stuff. And there's various different drugs, actually. There's some weighing scales.

There's a very large amount of cash. There's some empty baggies. And also a gun as well. And a gun. Yeah. Let me tell you a bit more. Police in the US have found drugs inside a bag labeled definitely not a bag full of drugs.

The stash was discovered in Portland, Oregon when officers stopped a driver and passenger inside an allegedly stolen car. Posting about the incident on Twitter, Portland Police Bureau said, scales, cash, and a loaded gun were also found. Pictured along with the items recovered from the vehicle was a small brown makeup bag with the words

definitely not a bag full of drugs written on the front. Despite the claim on the vanity case, more than 10 grams of fentanyl and meth was reportedly found inside. Jesus Christ. According to local media, a man and a woman were arrested over the incident. The pair are reportedly facing charges, of drug possession and possession of a stolen vehicle. So it's a short story,

it's the headline and the photo that really makes it I think it's like it's a proper like keatsy kind of it's a it's a it's a makeup bag and like a nice font like little like a nice typography on it just definitely not a bag for the drugs and then like seeing that all laid out that's an impressive hole to fit inside a makeup bag I will say so they've done a very good job it's clearly not for personal use that's that's dealer yeah that's dealer stuff and all the money yeah so well and truly busted there not particularly spooky But also, it's definitely not a bag full of drugs, all right? No, it's not.

Maybe do your trick-or-treating this year with a bag labeled something similar. Definitely not a bag full of sweeties. Do you guys partake? I assume you don't trick-or-treat anymore, but do you leave sweets out? Or do you do you do pumpkins? Or what's your guy's approach to that now as adults? We tend to do a pumpkin every year and put it on the windowsill or the doorstep. and then we will buy a big multi-bag of drugs.

And we will, yeah, and we'll hope that kids knock on the door so we can give them the sweeties. But the past couple of years, they haven't done. And we've assumed that they would do because we now live in an area with a lot of families. So this year we're even thinking of posting on the neighborhood Facebook group saying, children welcome at number, whatever, docks, number docks. Maybe we should post that Not on Halloween Just, you know, in a couple of months' time

Children welcome Peter's house Please come and take our sweeties Yeah So we try to partate But no one ever comes But then we have to just eat them all ourselves In November

The sweets, not the children Sounds awful To be fair I have been having my own Little Halloween evenings Every night of trick-a-treating Where I just buy like a multi-pack of sweets For myself

Like the ones designed to like be split up like little refreshes and chewy things. There's, oh, that thing. Like, whenever Halloween rolls around, it becomes a dangerous time because I will just devour like 20 of those things in a night and then do it all again the next day. Yeah. All for me.

That's a good way to do it. We've discovered that, I don't think we've done a pumpkin, but we've discovered that if you leave a little bowl of fortune cookies out, and as a test, a bowl of sweets, the fortune cookies will disappear much faster than the sweets. The kids Probably they like the variety As much as anything else

Yeah the fortune cookies Yeah the fortune cookies You know They're unremarkable taste-wise But yeah But like the novelty I think is more interesting So we've been stocking up On fortune cookies

They will all go out On Halloween's evening We've also got some sweets as well And we'll see Again we'll do another test Yeah See who takes the most You fill the fortune cookies

With two sentence horror for the kids They love it They love that stuff My Fortnite game was disconnected when I was about to get a victory royale. Are they still doing now? Is it Roblox now? What are they doing? Yeah, what are the kids up to?

I feel like it's just Fortnite in Minecraft forever now, isn't it? Yeah, I think those games are still going. Yeah, that's like that's just children's entertainment now, that. That's it. It's free. So there we are. Well, that is my listener submitted thing. Michael Johnson, it's time for your spooky its thing, please.

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Ooh, I come with a spooky game. Ooh. So I have looked at reviews for a lot of Halloween slash horror films. Kind of in the Halloween spirit, I guess. And I've specifically looked very hard at the one-star reviews for those films. And I did this a good while ago with famous landmarks and locations. Oh, yeah. to guess what they're talking about from the review.

So this time I come at you with some reviews of horror films that don't paint the pictures favourably, but alludes to what it is in funny and interesting ways. I literally spent six hours scrolling through like China. Because it's quite hard to find a good review that alludes to the film, but doesn't totally spoil it and it's still entertaining. And so a lot of these reviews are actually from IMDB, which now doesn't allow. user submitted reviews and a lot of these reviews were from the

early 2000s like 2004 2006. This is some old opinions are going to be hearing. I very nearly began with the title of the first film. That's not how the game works. Damn it, Michael, come on. Okay, this is our first review for our first film.

This is a, well, I'm not going to give any hints. I'll give hints when requested if needed. Quit the damn singing, reads the title this review. it's annoying that's all there is to say every time Jack sings he's so stressed out

like take a pill man the quick pace music constantly going on the background is enough to drive anyone nuts have you got any any ideas there's clues in there but I realise this is hard for now did you say these are all horror films or

yes horror or horror related or at least you know spooky spooky that's a spooky I'm not a horror expert but the fact that it's said jack leads me to believe that it might be the shining incorrect there is a couple more reviews there's there's no points for guessing early but peter if you want to give it a go we can give it a try there's glory for guessing early um no if you've got more reviews then maybe give me at least one more and i'll see how i feel there's this might if you've got an inkling this might

clear it up i hate this movie is this a christmas movie yeah is this a halloween movie The fact that there is even a debate about which holiday this movie goes with makes me hate it more. I have never understood why this movie is considered a classic. If you're looking for a classic movie, go watch The Godfather or Rise of the Planet of the Apes. This movie is... It's quite specific. When I first read that, I skipped the words, rise of the... Yeah.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes or The Godfather. Those two... Those are my two favourite movies, take it or leave it. Classics. Peter, I feel like you know what this is. It's Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Ding, ding, ding. Well done.

Peter gets a point. The other reviews I had for this one were, I just don't get why everyone likes this dumb, ugly skeleton. Get a life. Seriously. Get a life. They're so cross. And I try to go to Amazon for a couple of leads as well to see what was out there.

Mostly just complaints about the deal. DVD not working stuff, but in 2014, someone let people know that, please be wary, letting five to six-year-olds watch this. My son watched some of this at his friend's house, who incidentally loves it, unknown to me, and will now not be in a room on his own and is terrified something is going to appear at the windows. Oh, bless you. Don't let it. A night before Christmas.

Don't let your kids watch it. It's too spooky. Okay, there we go. Right, let's move on to film two of four. I believe. Awful, just awful, reads the title. This is possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. I didn't believe it for a second.

Am I supposed to think a pile of rocks are scary and twigs hanging from trees? Wow, that is so dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, not scary. Okay. I believe I know what this one is. Is it the, is it back on the former prime minister? Yeah, it is. Yeah, the Gordon Brown project. Yes, well done. Wow, very good.

I try to go for the hardest one there at the beginning, but you got it straight away. So what's the full name? Sorry, Mikey, just for people who did he. The Blair Witch Project. Blair Witch Project. Well done, well done. The other two other reviews I had for this one were boring, slow and not scary in the slightest. If you're looking for something to scare you, look somewhere else. this is the worst excuse I've ever seen for a horror film

the style of shooting was as expected shaky handheld camera which fitted the premise of the film but you felt like you're watching an amateur film by school kids rather than actual footage of a real event which it was supposed to depict which is I feel like the film just went over this person's head entirely

yeah the janky students shot it weird that isn't it strange yeah the groundbreaking kind of the original found footage movie and they're like no it's a bit shaky as expected yeah uh and another comment just said seeing someone's grandmother in the shower would be much scarier oh my god okay true oh dear and one last one from dr kimball in 2001 this is a vintage review worst of trash the one positive thing about this film since apparently Apparently, none of the three young filmmakers survived.

No more footage of this kind should be found anywhere. Hopefully the witch will soon eat up all the rest of the crew. So yeah, I think, yeah. Well done for getting on the first one. That was, I thought that was quite a tricky one. We continue. Film number three. Like Big Brother, but even more dull.

I just didn't get it. It was like watching Big Brother Live in the middle of the night, but even more dull. Huh Big Brother Live but in the middle of the night Is this an obscure film Mikey? Can I make a guess?

Oh Very, very not obscure, Ben Is it paranormal activity? Bingo Ben, you're on a roll. Two for two. Let's go. A couple more reviews for it. Horrible movie,

what the heck is it about anyway? Yeah, some ghost slash demon slash whatever keeps playing with their heads at night opening the door, lighting the Uigi board on fire and turning the lights off and back on so what

get a life it's only starting fires in the house what's to worry about it's not even scary fire isn't scary and the last one for this one was easily the worst movie ever take camcorder to your friend's house

and get them to hide in the cupboard making DAF sounds job done yeah easily the worst movie ever was that easily Easily, he's not even close. Easily. Okay, I think we're going a little bit more classic here, I'd say.

It's not a horror movie. It's a movie about a crazy guy. I realized that the movie is not a horror. It just made me feel like it's disgusting. First, the main character saw a naked ghost, and he was so happy. That's not right. He is married. He is married.

That's not okay. You can't do that. No. And how come he just acted like nothing happened? He said he will do anything for the son, but he just let those ghost control him and hurt his son and wife. And then the rest of the movie, just a crazy guy, how to kill his wife.

He is just crazy people. I don't understand why people think movie is great. Why is movie great? That's the question. That is a lot of words. Yeah. There is a lot of clues. in there but it's

I think when he saw the naked ghost I don't think he was that happy because she was an old wrinkily

corpse wasn't she or she wasn't to begin with that was the thing he kissed her and then she turned oh he can't do that

he's married but he's married that is actually seeing the grandma in the shower actually and oh yeah there would go

yeah and giving her little kiss so you know what it is the shining it did sound like the I've not seen it

but it did sound like the shining good good well done some more reviews the plot is stupid the little kid is weird

and they move to a hotel because his father is the caretaker of it we find that the kid has a gift the gift never has anything to do with anything except to make the kid seem cool does the kid seem cool in the shining no I mean to this guy apparently

rolling around on his little chike I hate the film but the kid's awesome then the movie gets more boring and boring until the man finally goes crazy. He goes on a rampage to kill the kid and his wife because, well, he feels like it. And lastly, the best character

in this was the carpet. Oh, wow. That's brutal. Okay, what we got? I'm going to do one more. We got this one. Again, nearly read out the title. Don't do that, Michael. Don't do it, Mikey. Okay. I think this is maybe the trickiest.

Let's see. Okay. A mind fuck. As long as you are a 1960s devout English Catholic, otherwise keep away. A shock picture for people who are shocked by partial nudity and constant terrible singing. I can't stress the constant singing enough. There is barely five minutes in the film where someone isn't singing some awful new age hippie pagan song. Only if the idea of a non-Christian island town truly terrifies you, then it's safe to say you can pass this film up.

I watched this for the first time last week, and I was surprised by how much singing there was in it as well. Ben, would you like to take a guest? No, it's not, is it? It sounds like it. I believe it's the Wicca Man. Bingo, bingo, bingo. The one with Nick Cage.

They sing a lot in it. There's a lot. Yeah, it goes on for a while. Yeah, I watched it for first time last year. Really enjoying it. But yeah, to be fair, there is a lot of singing. Not so much that Warren's a one-star review, but... No, I enjoyed it, but yeah, I was surprised.

Yeah, the entire focus of his review was the singing. So... Yeah. Ah, another one just for fun. Completely misguarded. First, the director seems to believe that daylight is the perfect time for over 90% of this supposed horror film to take place. Good. He is wrong, dreadfully wrong.

Secondly, he seems to think that musical sequences, involving percussive nudity addressed to the camera have their place in horror films. I couldn't begin to figure out where that idea came from. Thirdly, his so-called hero their character was supposed to root for

is basically an angry nun expressing his pious his pious disapproval to everyone he meets and never once shutting up about Jesus. Yeah. So well done Peter for storming a

head oh yeah oh ben you did very well oh peter had three ben had two uh just just not good enough so that sounds harsh no you did very well better not good enough not good see me later rubbish uh thank you very much boys was partaking thank you thank you so much for that mike peter it's time for your list of submitted thing and it's i think the spookiest thing we're going to talk about all episode yeah i i agree um this was sent to us from uh and then a rat emoji at Bazble on Twitter and guys

the person in charge of this repeating incident has decided it needs to get we need to step it up again it needs to get more exotic and more interesting Cocker 2 rescued after living on brioche

for four weeks inside a Sydney supermarket it's a fucking this is the real reason why this is the real reason why we took a break because the birds were getting exacerbated trying to storm shops every two weeks

so yeah, they banked all that energy for a good in here. A sulphur-crested cockatoo called Mickey that has been living on bryosh inside a Sydney supermarket for four weeks has been captured by wildlife services and is expected to be

set free soon, implying that he's been captured and has not yet been free. He's been imprisoned for a while. Yeah, free Mickey. We're going to release a single, a charity single for that. The New South Wales Environment Minister, Penny Sharp, announced on Tuesday evening that the bird had been safely captured by wildlife rescuers after spending way too long in MacArthur Square. Mickey's being assessed by experts. We hope Mickey will be flying free by tomorrow, she said, before thanking everyone who rallied to help Mickey.

Earlier on Tuesday, Sharp promised that the bird was not going to be shot after false rumors of events. kill order had spread online. No, shoot Mickey on site. Yeah. The bird had been stuck inside the Coles supermarket in Campbelltown for almost a month, according to the Sydney Metropolitan Wildlife Services on Tuesday morning. Another cockatoo, old lady Doris. Oh, Lady Doris, the cockatoo.

Yeah, was taken into the supermarket by the feathered friend's bird rescue director, Ravi Wazahn, in the hope that Mickey. will be reassured by her presence and here is an image of it's not actually clear which cockatoo this is it's loose so I assume it might be Mickey

checking out old lady Doris in a cage there's a cage and a cockatoo next to it so maybe old lady Doris is in the cage and he's come to an investigation I'm not quite sure the plan looked like it could work with Mickey initially flying down

before being spooked and retreating out of reach. It is Halloween, after all. He's really scared because there have been so many attempts. People trying to catch him, Wassan said. He's so scared, but the other cockatoo, obviously, is so loving that it really reassured him. We got so close, and then they opened the emergency doors, and it spooked him. Wazan said Mickey looked physically fine and was not hungry because he was eating really well in the supermarket.

He just needs to chill out, relax, and come down without thinking that people. they're going to try and catch him, he said, just hours before the bird was caught. The exits where the cockatoo would go out are also the exits for patrons, so he just has to realize that the patrons aren't terrifying, which is obviously challenging when he sees everyone as a potential threat. But people make... Four weeks! Yeah.

Yeah, delicious brioch. He was in there for. For four weeks, did it say. Yeah, four weeks. Oh, my God. We should start putting together like a sort of a Premier League table of how long these birds are staying in their supermarkets. That's a very good shout.

Yeah, come on, keep him coming, birds. Here's an image of him. It's not a very good image. I've sort of cropped it with text on it, but he's just hanging out there. Above the rice, the rice bubbles, excuse me. Oh, rice bubbles What the hell? Gross.

That's what they call Rice Krispies in Australia? That's disgusting. I guess so. Do better Australia. What the hell? They're Kellogg's as well, look. They're actual

Kellogg's rice bubbles. They might even have snap crackle and pop on them. And next to them, look, you can see some cocoa bubbles as well. Oh. Horrid. It's disgusting.

I'm surprised he stuck around with food like that available to him. Delicious pre-oche bubbles are very tempting, so. Yeah. I can't resist. Well, there you go. Thank you, Baz, for sending that in.

Thank you very much, Baz. Thank you, Peter. The Birdt saga continues. It is now time for my thing. Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days, delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no.

But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan. Sorry, nope. But a box fan, happily yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines?

Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Now this has become something of a spooky tradition, where for the first couple of years I did Spook or Spock,

where you had to choose whether it was a spooky quote from a horror film or a quote from Spock from South Park, Star Trek. From South Park, yeah. And then last year I did Fright or Sprite. Sprite or Fright, yeah. Which was either a spooky quote from a horror movie or a slogan from a fizzy drinks company. This year, the tradition continues, albeit under a different guise.

We are now doing, in 2024, bear or scare? Oh. So, what do you think this means? What does, how would you interpret bear or scare? Um, uh, bear. I assume it's B, B, A, R. Mm-hmm. Is it, uh, catch phrases by cartoon bears, or not necessarily catch phrases, but quotes by, by fictional bears, maybe, versus...

It's close, that's close. Or a movie. Maybe the names of bears and zoos or something. against horror villains? You're both nearly there, but not quite. This is, of course, a question of, are the following quotes from a famous horror movie, or are they from beloved animated Disney classic Brother Bear,

in which an adolescent human is turned into a bear and charged with protecting the young cub orphaned by his hand? Coda. Exactly. Have you seen Brother Bear? I've seen the advert for it. It was at the start of the VHSs I had as a child. So I know the name of the child bear. That's pretty good.

Mikey, have you seen it? No, never seen it, but I think I've seen the advert as well. Okay. I've got a number of quotes here, so we'll try and go through these fast, but some of them are from Brother Bear. Some of them are from horror movies. First one, our brother is dead, and it's because of that monster. I'm going to say horror.

I'm going to say bear. That is a quote from Brother Bear. Oh, no. I think I could turn and live with animals. They are so placid and self-contained. They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins. It's quite wordy. I mean, he just, obviously, he turns into an animal and lives with it.

But I think it's reluctant, isn't it? Or maybe someone else says it to him. Brother Bear. Difficulty. You should have watched it. You should have done your homework, not knowing what this was going to be. I think it's a bit too wordy and poetic for brother bear. I'm going to say that's horror as well.

I'm going to say bear. I'm going to commit to bear. That, of course, was Lord Summerisle from the Wicker Man. Oh, I should have bought that. No one. Next up, look what your brother did to the door. Oh, God. I'm trying to pick.

What doors get? absolutely murked in horror films. The End of Nightmare in Elm Street. A lady gets pulled through it. Well, famously, in The Shining, a door gets murked, but there aren't any brothers in that. So... I'm going to say bear for that one, because we rattled off the two horror films, I know. So if it's not those, it must be bare.

I'm not sure there are any doors in Brother Bear, because I think there... Isn't it a sort of an Aboriginal group, or I'm not even sure where it's set? Maybe it's, I guess it's sort of North America or something. but I'm going to say scare. That is from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Oh, of course. Of course. Next, quote, my brother's a spirit.

If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. Hmm. Hmm. I think that could be bare. It could be both, but I'll say bear. I'll say scare. I've got no idea what the film could be, but I'm leaning scare. That's from Brother Bear

What? Next quote I always wanted a brother Sorry I always wanted a brother Yeah well It could be Couldn't it

Hmm I always wanted a brother I feel like I know what this is from I can feel it buzzing around in my head Hmm I could just be making that up I'm going to lock in the scare not knowing that there's a feeling inside of me

that tells me to say that, but not knowing what film it's from. I agree, it does sound like more of a I always wanted it, oh, but surely maybe, no, a little brother bear probably says it. Just to go against Mikey, I'll say bear. That's also from Brother Bear. Good guess. Yeah, the Cubs says it, presumably.

Do I look like some kind of monster? Hmm. Do I look like some kind of monster? I'll say scare, but I don't know. I'll go bare. Sorry, Mikey, that's from the 2022 horror movie Barbarian, apparently. Oh, I love that film. These monsters are really scary, especially with those sticks.

Oh, God. It's amazing how you can pick a single Disney movie. and find so many quotes that may or may not. It is. It's impressive, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Did you watch the film for homework for this, Ben? I have seen this movie many times.

Sticks. Bear? I want to say scare. That's from Brother Bear. What? That's from Brother Bear. I should point out that I had a lot of assistance from my girlfriend with this one who is a Big Brother Bear fan.

So it lessened the load in terms of researching. And next quote, so we're just going to ignore the bear then? Dog. Oh, man. You go first, Mikey. Oh, God. It's just, I'm like, yeah,

lines are going through my head trying to picture what film this would work in. What horror film has a bear in it? Yeah, that's a good point. Like, you know. Mid-summer, right? She gets stuck in a bear at the end there. Does she? I know, I'm going to say bear for this.

I'm going to say bear. Okay, I'll go scare then. Mikey Johnson, it's from midsummer. Oh, my God. Oh, what? Really? So we're just going to ignore the bear then midsummer 2019. Oh, God.

Well, I had it. And I was like, nah, that's too easy. It's too obvious, isn't it? Couldn't possibly be? Next quote. The one film I know with a bear in it. Nah, not that. I'm going to name it first, though.

This year I lost my dear husband, Edgar. Quit telling everyone I'm dead. Sometimes I can still hear his voice. Now, for a minute, I was going to say, I bet there are no characters in Brother Bear called Edgar. But I bet all of the animals, you know, maybe the humans probably aren't called Edgar, but I bet all the animals are just called, you know, Gerald and Bruce.

Merrick and stuff like that. Yeah, it's possible. So, I lost my husband, Edgar. Edgar. I'll go with my gut, though, and I'll say scare. I'm going to go with scare as well for this one. That's Brother Bear. What?

Or is it a moose or something? No, it's all the bears. They've made it to the sort of the promised land. They've all gone to where the salmon are in the river, and they're all hanging out as bears. and there's an elderly couple and this, it's a joke. Like, I lost my husband and then Edgar says, stop telling everyone I'm dead.

Oh, I see. Sometimes I can still hear his voice, but they're still very much alive. Right. Just a bit of humor for you there. Yeah, it's a good one. Yeah. And now there's nowhere for Mum to go. The monster has her backed up against this giant glacier.

Oh. I was thinking. scare, but now I don't know. The monster has her backed up against this giant glacier. Yeah. I want to say this is from like planet Earth or something.

So I'm going to say scare. I think it's a scare too, yeah. It's Brother Bear. It's always Brother Bear. Textbook Brother Bear, my friends. Next up, whatever it is that's following me, it doesn't feel, it doesn't feel

human. It feels like it's a monster. I mean, like it wants to hurt me. I don't know anymore. Yeah, it's a tough one. There's been a lot of monster references in ones that turned out to be Brother Bear.

So, being followed. I mean, they go on a journey, don't they? Maybe they're being hunted. I'll go bear, I suppose. I'll go scare. That's from paranormal activity.

Oh, there you go. A few more left. You can bring me the boy. Oh, God. Hmm. You can bring me the boy. You can't say scare. I will say brother bear.

The Babadook. It's the Babadook. Ah, yeah. Duk, duck, duck. This inhuman place makes human monsters. might as well toss a coin at this point this inhuman place makes human monsters scare

I'm going to say scare too you're both right it's from the shining that one oh the same films coming up paranormal activity yeah final three here you know he did look better better as a bear.

Surely, Brother Bear. I'm going all in on Brother Bear. That's Brother Bear. Okay. No matter what you choose, you'll always be my little brother. No matter what you choose. I'm going to say scare.

Yeah, I think it's a trick. Yeah, something about the word choose there. It's Brother Bear. It's Brother Bear again. Oh, no. What? I was going to say, what choice would the little boy have to make that would mean he's not the little brother anymore? You just have to watch the movie.

Is he able to turn human? Is that an option? It's a beautiful film. I'm not going to spoil it. It's a beautiful film. Oh, okay. You should just enjoy it for yourselves. Shed a tear. Yeah. A bit of Phil Collins, I believe. Loads of Phil Collins. Great. And finally, I have a story.

to tell you. Really? What's it about? Well, it's kind of about a man and kind of about a bear, but mostly it's about a monster. Brother bear. I'm going to go scare.

It's brother bear. Short of saying, short of literally quoting something that says, you will always be my brother bear. That's the closest I can get to making it very obvious. oh my God, I've been transformed into a bear.

Help, I'm some sort of bear that's a brother. That's it. That's the quiz. I didn't keep track of who said what, but I'm fairly sure Peter was pretty far ahead on there. So congratulations, Peter, for being the Spooky It's Quiz champion this episode, this year. Thank you.

Yeah. Absolutely smashed it. How did you do, listener slash watcher? Oh. That is now? Yeah, do let us know. And with that, that draws this episode of Spooky It's to a close. Thank you very much, guys, for bringing your spooky things. And thank you to everyone for submitting your things to us on your social media platform. We really, really appreciate it. There's a few things we need to talk about before we go. But the headline, of course, is that we are going down to a monthly release schedule. And please put in your calendars the 13th of December for the Vidyat's reunion stream. Well, we'll be live on Twitch raising money and hanging out with all of you guys. So do come along. if you can. Mikey, I believe there's some sort of shop.

Oh, it's been a while since I've done this. You're darneditin. If you head over to vidiatesofficial.com and click on that lovely enticing little shop button, you will be greeted with a veritable bounty of goodies including hat, mug, hoodie, t-shirt and more. Go check it out.

Vidiosofficial.com and click on shop. Do it. Instagram slash TikTok at vidyots. dot official go there and maybe you'll get a little tease of all the world's globe trotting Google Maps adventures we've been going on since we've since we've been away and YouTube

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we will be live for our vidiots reunion stream. Poddiots.com, go there, donate three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of Poddiots, join Pod Squad and support the things you enjoy. Mikey, can you kick us off again, please?

Frogly, Chegg is love, Chegg is life. The generous, raindrop joy, all aboard, Chew, Chew, Dr Goblin, Caroline, it's been a while, Lord Changed Vick. You've been taking, you've been

talking to the corpth, Fred? Specky Becky, Stephen Scores, thought Peter should know there's now a time team podcast, 21 drizzling dick sores. Thank you. Also, hope I'm on time to say,

welcome back boys, girls, and others. France is bacon. French dip is magic. Big round jabbers make me hut. Scott Chegg. She pod. On my D.

Till it hurts. Billy Bear Beef, Wellington. That's it. And finally, we have Mr. Macca, a succulent Australian corpse, the very generous You Say Whank if we give coin. Hi, I'm Barry, Scott, bang. Bethesda presents

Balls Out Three Pooh Anus. She daves my Benson, Until I Phillips. Whiskey Mike. Prince beef cakes Durst Games ever Ben Shops in Aldi on Sundays and Billy Bear Beef Wellington

and that is your pod squad we should probably pick a favourite shouldn't we've got to do that earlier Oh yeah we should I mean I like French dip is magic Yeah that's good I think

Billy Bear Beef Wellington is a haunting image The idea of slicing through it and the face is just there. Remove the slice. I enjoy durst games ever. Yeah. That's my favourite. I also enjoyed you working out,

balls out, three, poo, anus. Yeah, that's also very... That was a journey. That's a good one. Very strong ones this week. Poddiots.com, three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the next episode of Pottias. Thank you so much Pod Squad for this week.

Reminder that there will be a poll going out shortly after this episode goes live, asking for your input to... decide what we pay Dave Benson Phillips. Please help us. Mikey, where are you on the internet please? At Paraboy on Twitter and Instagram. Instagram's the best place to keep up with what I'm doing these days. Yes, and Peter where are we please? You can find us at Team Triple Jump making things together including worst games ever and bad cooking and rules boss and you can find us separately at Confused underscore Dude and at That Peter Austin on various social media platforms. I've remembered what, you know, you asked me before we started recording if we were still

going to do this week in Poddiots, but now it's monthly, so that's way too much. I think we said we were just going to pick out a few highlights. I just scroll down the list and say, hey, go check out these couple of videos, rather than every single episode of post some tat and, you know, game selections, memory cards, yeah. So would you like a few things that have gone out since the episode in August, and then we'll do monthly catch-ups as we go on? Love that. Well, we had Worst Games Ever Crazy Frog Racer.

That's a classic. An unlisted video called Happy Birthday Owen. Happy Birthday Owen. Happy birthday, Owen. Benging with Babish went out, five tasties. recipes for your switch cartridges. Oh, lovely. I definitely tried the cartridge for its taste.

Did you burn on Peter? I wasn't there for that one. Of course. I can't remember. I might have given it a very gentle lick, maybe. Yeah. Rank. We did a play-through of, well, a bit of a session in U-Star 2,

the three-headed Oscar winner, where we all put the T-shirt on together. There was the Barbie Makeover Magic Prove-It, where we did makeup on Mikey. Yep. 3D pets on Worst Games Ever The Insomnia vlog Finding Billy's long-lost cousin All sorts of things

You know I didn't really prepare this ahead of time But Prop Hunt With Hat Films Draw the Fans too Worst Games ever Fight Club Loads

Loads of stuff Go watch it Next time I'll have a Oh and Peter gets hit by a car Oh gosh Just that small video That's fine Yeah

Excellent well Go check all those videos out and why not leave us a five-star review on your platform of choice it helps something to do with Al Gore's rhythms and we'd really bloody appreciate it thank you so much everyone until next time

look after yourselves we'll see you in November have a very safe and spooky spook season and you know keep your drugs in a bag not labelled definitely doesn't contain drugs just to be safe

but until then goodbye everybody see you soon Ooh, boo-bye. Boobie. Boobie. Thank you.