Podiots - Spookiots: Episode 18 - A Luigi Board

Episode Date: October 30, 2018

Welcome to a very spooky podcast! Ben brings basic bitch spook questions, Peter's dead, and Mikey escapes the zombie horde. Apologies for the brief period of audio issues! Buy yourself some Vidiots merch: https://yogsca.st/VidiotsMerch Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax Should we record a horror slash serial killer podcast style intro where we go The following podcast is not suitable for those with hard conditions I'm doing it right now This is it, you joining in, you guys joining in with me, just be careful You might get a bit scared Don't watch it if you, uh, yeah, if you get scared and stuff Some of the explicit content ahead, some of the people views on the edge of 12

It's still very, it's still very silly but I made it through and I'm a big scaredy pants. The spooks you're about to hear were spooked by professionals. Do not spook at home. Do not, yes. This ain't your mama's spook cast. Okay, are we all clear? I think, yeah, it's going to get spook and then.

No. Dayton's started. Okay, roll the bit where we talk before the beginning. Fetch some clean pants. Here we go. This Cleoponnis music will stop now. Ooh, it's Ben from the future somehow just to let you know that to make this episode extra spooky

we've actually intentionally had audio problems so enjoy a very sort of weird tinny version for about five or six minutes and then it'll kick in and sound lovely again Ooh, it's amazing how we planned these things Oh, scares noises I mean Spooky

Spooky Spooky scary Pardietz Send shivers down your Spide Spookums Malukums Yeah

Is this one called Spooky It's Everyone has a skeleton Inside them There's always a skeleton There's always a skeleton nearby Spooky Skellington Yeah we'll make this one

Spooky It's Because that's how we differentiate our brand. We just change the word at the beginning, put iS on the end. Exactly. Yeah. All of us failed to think of another one, didn't we? Did you hear that? Did you hear that was the sound of silence?

We're all desperately trying to think of some other. Trainietes. We could run a rail service. We could do like Virgin Galactic. We could do like Spaciates. We could do like a Star Wars style racing thing. called Pottietz, couldn't we? That would be good.

Yeah. Cleaniates, would be our cleaning company. Yeah. Cateriates. I was trying to think of like an actual genuinely good one. Not that yours haven't been good. No, it's paint by numbers, isn't it? I mean, Podiots isn't good.

The reason we chose it is because it was stupid and it sounded silly. It doesn't even make sense. Vidiots is at least a play on idiot. Yeah. What's that oddiet? It's a play on Vidiates is what it is. Yeah. Which is in itself, a play on something else.

How many layers deep can we get with players on words? Really, really deep. So deep. So deep that we should pull ourselves out of this, this deep trench that we've got ourselves stuck in. That was a scary intro, wasn't it? I feel pretty spooked. You know, like, when podcasts do Christmas ones, and they just put sleigh bells over the normal music? Yeah.

What can we do for this? You just play it with, like, organ music, like, and a bit of thundercloth. Do you have that talent? Can you do that? I could possibly do it. It wouldn't be as. like thick and orchestral as the normal one we have. Are you committing to that right now?

Well, because I was just going to add boo noises over the top. I can do like this, a single, like just the melody. Like I can't, you know, it's got a whole lot of like strings and shit in the background

and like twinkly orchestra. I'm not doing like, you know, a 12 layer mix of it. But I could, listen, there's like children frolicking as well. Yeah.

In the normal one, that's a very special one. No, I think you could do it. I could do it. Well, take it away Peter, I suppose.

Here it goes. Hello, everybody and welcome to spookier. Spookily. Episode 18, I'm Ben. I'm Michael. And I'm Peter. Oh, we should have thought of... I'm spooky, Ben.

No, we should have thought of spooky names. Like on the Halloween episodes for Simpsons. Like Mel Spooks and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, James Hal Brooks. Yeah, that's it. Not much Mel Spooks. Who was I thinking Mel Spooks there? There's a Mel, on the writing staff.

Is it Mel Brooks? No, he's like... No, he's not the same... No. He's very... Yeah, he's... It's James Al Brooks. Yeah.

I think maybe he was Mel Brooks and won the Halloween episodes. Oh, yeah, he may have been. Frightful Johnson. Do you have that one before? Frightful Johnson? My current Twitter name is My Skull-Bornson. Okay, that's pretty, that's clunky, but it's good. It's clunky, but yeah.

You fit as many of those in as you can. What about you, Peter? I'm currently Peter Gosston. That's a good one. Yeah. That's about the only one you can do. I don't think there's anything else. Jules has a really good one right now.

I can't remember it, but like, I remember. It's Gulls. Last year it was Gawls. Is it Gull? Gills, chills? Uh, okay. That's a bit, again, it's unnecessary. I don't think you have to go for the double name, really, personally.

Maybe I just think that because I can't think of anything for Peter But Yeah, you jealous bastard Shrika ghosting I don't know There we go That's pretty good I don't really have one for me

I don't really like to play this game anyway Because I think Halloween's a bit overblown And I don't really understand it Fuck you Fuck you You're not allowed to have fun Fuck you I hate you and you're fun

Fuck off That's why your parents called you boring No If you don't come over the spooky Halloween name You'll be boring when you grow up Yeah Did you trick a treat as a kid? I did,

Okay, so you... I stopped quite young, though. When it benefited you, you enjoyed Halloween, but as soon as it stops, like, you no longer able to reap the rewards, it's like, fuck it. I could still, I could still trick or treat. There were several years where I, I just didn't want to do it. I just didn't, I just, it's free sweets.

I just can't be in. It's free, free candy. Yeah, sorry, what do we hear? Spooky, it's. This is a podcast, it's the official podcast of the video's YouTube channel. It's a conversational podcast where we take questions from you. We also obey the rules of the three us. The three.

The three. Everybody brings a thing to her long to talk about. This week, obviously, it's spook week. Did you ask for spooky questions? No, but people did send in some spooky questions, and I was able to sort of skim them off the top, like Pond Skum, and bring them to you to share today. Right.

We've got one here. Yeah. Oh, shit. This is from a man who knows how to promote himself, YouTube.com forward slash the wrestle dude. That's his name. Russell dude on Twitter. We've had him before.

I had someone follow me on Twitter the other day. That was just the email address as the Twitter handle. Well, God, Grandma's on. You'll never forget it. Come on. Really, really memorable. In the spirit of Halloween, what is your favorite Halloween movie or TV show?

By Halloween, does it just mean horror rather than something that has to be set on? Oh, that said, Pocus Pocus is pretty good, isn't it? And that's set on Halloween. I haven't seen it. Is that the Disney thing from years ago? I don't know if it's technically Disney, but, yeah, it's like a, you know, it's kind of Spielberg-esque family fun. It, like, really rings bells, yeah. There's, like, three witches and there's, like, a zombie man.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And some, some children, I guess. I don't know. There might be children. That's not my choice. I'm not saying hocus pocus, but that is just up there with, and it's set on Halloween. But, uh, I don't like, I don't like scary films. I don't, I don't watch them.

October's not your month, is it? Well, it's, yeah, no, not really. But that's what I'm saying. It's not a month. that makes me anxious, it's just, I just, it just does nothing for me as someone who doesn't really appreciate spooky things. But I do always enjoy the Treehouse of Horace. Yeah, I was going to say, that's what I'm saying. You don't have to pick, this is something that's actually scary. Yeah. There's lots of Halloween themed things that are cool, that are fun. I like the,

Halloween themed things that are ghoul. Hey. Ha ha ha ha. Which one do you like? I like the Halloween themed episodes of the cartoons that I watched. Yeah. Family guy, I seem to remember, did actually one that's actually a bit spooky I think it was maybe season two so way back when they did an episode where it was sort of what's what's the one where is it the ring

where the screen goes all like staticy yeah things come out of it right but like Stewie was communicating with the TV and like just got just got stuck in the TV world and then they had to try and get him out again because Peter found an ancient Indian burial ground under the house

Right. By which I mean Native American, but the sort of the Halloween term, isn't it? The Halloween term. The Halloween term. And he found a skull and started using it as like an athletics cup over his Johnsons. Right. Johnson and Johnson's. And then, yeah, it was a normal episode and then they went to bed and the TV sort of went off.

And then the TV just sort of turned on and it was static. And it was just, I remember that just being actually quite spooky. Oh, that might be a parody of Poltergeist actually. Yes. You're well versed in this sort of stuff. Yeah, but I don't know. I can't think of like a specific Halloween thing. I just, I'm going to go to like my favorite horror, which would be Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Oh, okay. Just a fucking good film. Still kind of terrifying to this day.

So obviously I've heard of that, but I don't really know anything about it. Because it relates back once again to my favorite serial killer, Ed Gein. Oh boy, there is. Based around his escapades. Everyone's got one. A favorite serial killer. If you don't, you're stupid. If you don't, then you're probably someone else. his favourite serial killer. Oh, shit.

Or you're about to be done by a serial killer. Ben's ma'am turned to him in the car one day when he's a little lad and said, Ben, you need to find a favourite serial killer, else you'll be boring. You'll be boring. Find someone who murdered people and idolize him. Boring, otherwise you'll be boring. I do genuinely prefer, like, 70s, 80s horror, because right now it's too based on spooops, like, uh...

Jump scares, that's one. Yeah, oh, fucking hell, just don't... Like, the insidious franchise is just insidious, it's horrible, like... Nice. I watched the new It. That was just a bastardization of something that was kind of spooky. Like, it used to be that you build an atmosphere. I'm not saying new films don't do that.

There are some genuinely amazing new horrors, but on the whole, it's kind of commercial horrors has gone down a bad route. Like ghost stories recently. I watched a fucking good film. I highly recommend that. Martin Freeman, as always. Good boy.

I watched Ali G. God, he was in there. Martin Freeman's in that as well. Sasha Barron. Yeah, your boy, Kohen. I think, Rosemary's Baby, I think, is one of the whole. horrors that stuck with me forever.

That's a film that's like two and a half hours long, and it's not scary for the first hour and a half. And then it just progresses into this fucking insanity. Can you give us a brief, a brief, a brief synopsis? A breathe. Give us a breathe synopsis. I did quite enjoy it as someone who doesn't like spooky things, although it did stick with me for quite a while.

What, the new one? Yeah. I remember the original is like, it was a TV thing. Sorry, I'm looking up the synopsis, synopsis. The set set up. The Pet Cemetery teaser came out just, just now. Yeah. This week.

Is that a spooky one? That's another Stephen King thing. Yeah, it is. It's about like sort of weird children in the woods behind someone's house. They just moved to this house and there's a forest. And there's like these weird kids doing stuff in there. It's spelled, I always wondered, because I didn't know what it was about. And I always wondered why it was spelt really weirdly.

It's spelled S-E-M-A-R-Y or something. And it's because in the forest there's this like weird like children's scroll sign that says pet cemetery. And obviously the kid has spelled it wrong. because they're a kid. Stupid. So it's some kind of weird, creepy children thing, which, you know, that's a trope. It's a trope.

Hopefully they do it well, but I don't know. It's probably too much for me. I just googled Rosemary's baby, and I remembered, it's directed by Roman Polanski, which effectively puts the film off limits now. He can't enjoy that. He's a bad boy. He's a literal total shit.

He is an actual terrible person. He's an awful human being, but I'll see the synopsis anyway. A young couple moves into an apartment only to be surrounded by peculiar neighbors and occurrences when the wife becomes mysteriously pregnant, paranoia over the safety of her unborn child begins to control her life. Eventually, she ends up giving birth to the devil

in one of the most horrifying birth sequences of my life. There's a scene where she's essentially raped by the demon neighbours and it's like chilling. My God. 1968, that film. Good, good shit. That does sound really. It's horrible, yeah. That sounds great. It sounds like it's brilliant.

Good time. I would, if I had to pick, like, a horror film, one of the ones that like, properly I had to just not watch any more of it was Mama, which is about these two, like, feral children. It's like this woman and her two kids live in some cabin in the woods, and I think someone comes and murders the mom right at the beginning. And then these two kids get adopted.

Oh, no. The thing is they get found, like, way later on. Like, so they should have been dead by rights because they've just been in this cabin, but they're, like, alive and they can, they get adopted by this, like, lovely family, wholesome family and then these two little children are like they can like see something called mama and there's this like one shot where they're like they're all weird like animaly kind of

oh they're really creepy there's one shot where it's like it's nighttime I think the mom the adoptive mom comes out into the corridor and the kid one of the kids is at the end of the corridor like silhouette and then she fucking she like scuttles down the corridor in like a horrible way so in terms of like something that really like I just couldn't watch it all that there's that um one of my favorite

horror films in terms of not necessarily being scared of it but like the atmosphere and stuff is I'm just a sucker for Blair witch project I think it's really cool I tried rewatching it a couple of months ago I think we were talking about it on a podcast or something and I just like it's not the same I've not watched it in a while but like I think if I stuck if I stuck with it I probably would have enjoyed it to the end because the last 15 minutes kind of yeah sure it definitely it's one of those that like the beginning is you know drags isn't it, but then, but that's another film that, like, doesn't rely on jump scares. I don't think there's really any, like, proper, because there's no score, for one thing,

so they're not going to be, like, slamming music in your ears when, you know, they round a corner or something. It's never, like, the camera snaps around as a face there. It's always quite slow, kind of, like, you're following with them, so stuff kind of reveals itself and just, kind of what it creates as a sense of dread. Exactly, like, films like that, you know, I'm all about, but ultimately, I would say Halloween for me is not so much about, like, actual true horror. I would say like something like the witches or something, like the Roll Dahl film.

I was thinking of the fucking witches. Were you? That's horror. I hid behind my couch when the fucking the scene comes on where they all transform into the witches. Yeah. That's stuck with me for years. But it's like, it's like... Not actual horror.

That is horror. It's like family horror. Yeah. I mean, Halloween for me, I don't want anything too intense. I want like, you know, I'm still a children who wants to go around collecting sweets. And so I'm going to watch like the Roll Dahl movie or something like that or Hocus focus. And that's what I would choose ultimately. It's a fucking Tim Burton one.

The acclamation. Corp's Brise? Not Corp's Bride. Not maybe for Christmas. Oh, that's not Halloween. That's Christmas film. I haven't seen that either. Yeah, I haven't seen that.

When I first heard about the Blair Witch Project, I did think it was about Tony Blair. And there's a part of me that, as I've still not watched it, I'm just wondering if it ends with Tony Blair. Well, I'd like to think the whole thing is Tony Blair, stumbling through a forest. Just ends on the word, new labour, written a blood on the wall. Looking for George Bush.

with that. It starts with that. He's looking for George Bush. And then at the end, he gasps and he drops the camera and there's a blood-curdling scream. And the only thing that you can see is the Chilcot inquiry on the floor. And then, and then there's like a plane ticket that just says the Hague. And that's where he's going. Anyway, then there's a sequel where he slowly tries to edge his way back into like Brexit-based politics. Just occasionally making a statement. You may have been in The Simpsons, but we've had enough. Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Just now and then and he talks to the papers and says, yeah, they shouldn't do it. Yeah.

Hi, hi, it's been Tony Blair. Tony Blair. Yes, I converted from Catholicism in order to be a prime minister because apparently you can't be a Catholic. No way. Yeah, apparently so. That's good. Anyway, whatever.

That's not the point. It's spooky in its own right. Tony Blair. Tony Blair's coming back. There's weird pointy face. What do you think about television shows that aren't so just scary by the nature, but things like Inside Number 9 has some episodes that are very unsettling. Yeah, I love that. Um, Doctor Who has some really spooky moments in it. Like,

have you seen my mummy? That was awful. Yeah, it was. The Weeping Angels was the fucking worst thing in the entire world. Uh, and there was, there was an episode of Inside Number 9 that I was watching with my girlfriend the other week because she had just watched them and said, I've been watching the show called Inside Number 9. I love Inside Number 9, but I've only seen a few episodes. Yeah. And there are some that are really weird, like intentionally quite upsetting and unsettling and how they're shot and how things sort of progress. Sort of Black Mirror-esque.

Yeah, yeah. It's quite, you're not really sure what to expect or what's happening until it's revealed because each, you've spoken about it on the podcast before. Each episode is self-contained story. Yeah, completely separate. It's always Rees-Shir-Smith and fuck. Steve Pemberton. Yeah, Steve Pemberton.

Yeah, but they write everything in the most brilliant way. always a crazy twist that you'd never expect but yeah everything is a completely separate story set of characters in each episode so you can just put whichever one on you want and just enjoy half an hour of slightly spooky some of them are funny some of them are really good that the one that we watched the one about the the the train carriage yeah the overnight sleeper carriage where they're all I don't want to spoil it but it's like it's just a total it's really funny it's all self-contained you'd love it you'd absolutely love it but we started watching one where it's a it's time sort of passes very strangely it all takes place in this one flat but it keeps flitting

forwards through time and you're not really sure why and it's about this woman 12 days of christine that might be it is that the one where it starts on new years and stuff and then suddenly it skips forward and like people aren't there and it starts to take a really unsettling turn and i paused it and i turned to i turned to becker and said um is this going to upset me and she said you know what i will i'll watch through them and decide which ones you're actually enjoy or not because it did sort of it just all the everyone disappeared from a scene except for her and she was just left in the flat on her own and she went hello and then the camera just sort of started panning down a corridor and i was like okay that's enough of that

just for now so just just stop for just a second when you say upset me did you mean in terms of being scary or as in like it would stick with me because it's stuff like that not jump scares but things like that unsettling things happening in the background did you finish it that episode. Fuck no, I didn't. Oh my god, it's that, so it did upset me, but like... Oh, good. Well, I'm glad I stopped. In an emotional way. Oh. Like, more than... So, yeah, a lot of

the episodes of Inside Number 9, they're either a bit spooky or really funny. But that one, when you realize what is happening and why it's happening, again, it's this massive twist at the end, and you're like, holy shit. And then it's like the most... Oh, I don't want to say too much, but anyone...

Is it like her life flashing before her eyes or something dreadful like that? It's, yeah, it's the equivalent. Yeah, it's like a tragic kind of, yeah, anyone who wants to watch an inside number nine, that is quite the hard hitter. Oh, God. Oh, God. I can't wait.

Anyway, I do appreciate a show that just sort of goes totally out of left field and just takes you by surprise with some of their stuff. But I wouldn't watch your Antichrist birthing video. I would very quickly want to just nip back to Doctor Who and say, There was an episode, a David Tennant episode, where he, it was in the Catherine Tate series and she stays behind right at the beginning of this episode at this spa. And so the whole of the episode is just him on his own. And he goes on this bus into a planet that is completely uninhabited. There's like just a tourist site that people turn up on and then you have to go into this special radiation protected bus because outside nothing possibly can ever survive.

And they break down and out of the window. as the like the visors are coming down to protect them from the light the driver goes oh my God what's that up there what's that up there and you don't see anything and then the thing comes down and the doctor's like what did you see and it was like someone

was like running towards the bus and then this thing is like banging on all around the bus on the walls and then somehow possesses this woman on the inside of the bus and she starts to just repeat everything everyone is saying and she's just copying everything they're saying

and then eventually she's then saying things at exactly the same time as they are saying it so they're speaking and she is in perfect stereo with them and I won't like reveal where it goes but like that one is it's so claustrophobic because the entire thing takes place inside this bus and there's just this weird ass woman who is somehow able to say what you're saying at the same time

and no one knows what the fuck why she's doing it. That's mental. It's Doctor Who's really good for that. Yeah. Occasionally they'll have like one or two episodes a season that are just like, okay, this is the nightmare one.

When they don't do special effects out of the arse. No, but that's the thing. Just keep the monster on the outside of the bus and it's fine. But yeah, you don't need it. There's be inside the bus. It's like the Jaws thing, isn't it?

You show less of the monster and the monster suspense. Very quickly before we move on to the next question. Another Doctor Who won. Oh, yeah. Where there's that like, flesh-eating bacteria thing or whatever it is alien

Vashtonirada, the shadow one yeah where it says hey who turned out the lights and it's just they're in the spacesuits but it's just a spooky skeleton in it and then the aliens sort of is it sort of possessing them and just saying the last thing that they said in order to

yeah because the suit the suit is like linked to your nervous system so it somehow uses that so that it can kind of use his body by getting inside the suit and it can like walk him around inside his own suit and yeah it repeats

it's the last thing he said yeah who turned up the lights? It's very strange next question this is from Hanson Long at Hansen Long on Twitter what has been your craziest spooky encounter

could be you were just creeped out by something or someone or ghosts we've had a similar question before we've done ghostly things and I said that I've had nothing you said I think that there was one of your friends flats

was haunted or something Yeah, well, one of my friends flats and the sleep paralysis thing with the sex demon deaths. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got anything new to add to that? Got any other spooky things? You had that clock, didn't you? Yeah, we had a grandfather clock go off in our house

that struck four, even though the hands were at like 10 to 8 and it didn't have any weights inside. It just knew what time it was and struck four and it's never done that before and it's never done it since and no one knows what the fuck was going on. But I'm trying to think of like a kind of not a supernatural thing but just a creepy encounter I've had with someone. I have a fun anecdote if you want to spend some time thinking about it.

My mum's cousin, who is now a brilliant activist and runs an amazing charity that helps children stuck in the Gaza Strip and stuff like that. Oh, okay. He is also a theatre man. A thespian. A thespian. And at the time of my...

He's only to bring his sexuality. He's Thespian. at the time he was I believe an understudy for a role in a production of the woman in black in Oxford and

he took me along to see it I've heard that it's really scary even on state maybe it's worse on stage oh my God I would never watch the film anyway obviously for the reasons that I will describe now because I've been scarred by it I think it was like my

11th birthday or something I was really young he took me and my cousin again I mentioned my cousin last time he's a year older than me he's the one who sent us the fake poo he just got married um he was just sat there happily just watching it completely desensitized to everything because I think he he was allowed to kind of watch what he wanted but my parents though wanting to protect me just meant that everything that I was subjected to was absolutely horrifying it was all the time always the scariest thing you'd ever seen ever seen it before anyway so this production was going on we were sat in like the middle of the theatre. They used all of the surround sound speakers for like the carriage going round.

Oh, nice. The set was the house, but sort of cut in half. And while scenes were playing out downstairs, the woman in black was walking around upstairs in rooms that weren't lit. And I was like, okay. At that point, I had no reference for what was and what wasn't frightening. But I knew that that was very upsetting. That sounds amazing.

I've never seen any kind of scary theatre before. I think if you can go and see scary theatre, particularly the woman in black, it's such an immersive and horrifying experience, even surrounded by other people because they can just use the theatre to fuck with you that you should absolutely go and see it if you're after that kind of thing. But I said, I think he leaned over and asked like, how are you doing? And I think I said, I'm having a bad time. he then took me to the green room

backstage where I could just sort of chill out and I met the woman in black who just sort of came back and said hi how you doing are you okay in a full makeup and I was like yeah I'm fine I was having a great time I was like she said you know

that you can watch what's happening in the theatre on this TV or you can switch to something else I'll watch literally anything else and so I think I was watching just some TV and like the woman in black were just coming out of the room every so often just to have like a drink or whatever But the thing is, that was fine. That was okay because that was explained

and she came over and introduced herself and that was fine. But the experience of being in that theatre watching what little I had watched and not understanding what was going on fucked me for weeks. Like it just stuck with me and still sticks with me now.

As soon as I saw fucking Harry Potter was remaking it in film form, I was like, I'm not even watching the trailers for that because that's going to be a trigger for me. Like even if, you know, watching a film, we all know that you can sit and watch a film and it can be really disturbing and troubling if a film is well made. I mean, I can imagine in a sense that theatre might be worse because you're in the room

with what... I know there's obviously like 200 people in there with you and there's rows and rows of seats between you and the stage. There's a point where your brain just disconnect. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and they'll turn off the lights and then people will appear in different rooms and stuff and like you could... They'll react downstairs when the woman in black is walking around and stuff.

She'll walk around. And then in another room upstairs, there'll be, of course, there's like a rocking chair that's going. And they'll say, can you hear that? And you can see that the rocking chair is moving because of the nature of a stage production. That's good. And then they'll go upstairs and she'll be downstairs. And it's just like, oh my God, this is awful. Awful.

If you can go and see the woman in black in a stage production and you're after spooks, you're in for a fun time. It's a side thing. Did you ever watch Most Haunted as a kid? that Derek Carora and shit Yeah, now and then I've seen the old episode Like as a kid I loved it

Me and my mom used to always watch it Like every night it was on And I really got into it Like I was really scared by it And there's a clip going around On Twitter right now Of Derica Cora Getting possessed by a woman

Just going Mary loves dick And his lovely little Scouse accent Oh no I do really want to rewatch some Most Haunted though Because like they did Like I think I've said

But they did the lighthouse That was like five minutes From my house Like he went there for an episode ones. It'd be really fun to somehow find that and rewatch that. But I think spooky stuff like BuzzFeed and Solved is a funny twist on it, but still like it's just

investigative ghost journalism. They caught Derek and Derek Cora out for faking it. No shit. Yeah. Well no, I mean it was obviously he was doing it but you can't all you can do is say well I don't think you're doing it and he's like well I am but they

planted some information for him to overhear where they were very loudly talking about oh there's this there's this ghost man who sometimes comes here and his name is Creed Khafer and Derek was like behind a door in another room and he like heard this and was like oh okay I'm going to use this and so then they go and shoot and suddenly while they're talking to him he happens to get possessed and she's like what's your name and he goes Creed Kiefer like that and then they go well they don't say this on on air but they were like yeah um Creed Khafer is an anagram of

Derek faker. Oh. That's fucking amazing. That's awesome. Nice. God. Right. Shall we move on to a thing?

Oh yeah. I have a thing. That's quite a simplistic thing. And it is actually, I must admit, because I was struggling to find spooky things. I wasn't really sure what to do. This was provided by my girlfriend. And she has called it basic spook bitch questions. Nice.

So are you ready for some basic spook bitch questions? Yeah. This is from an article, 39 creepy questions to get to. to know someone's dark side. We're not doing the 39, don't okay. I feel like I're already quite acquainted with mine, to be fair. I bring it out quite willy-nilly. Let's have some sort of rapid-fire responses to this.

If you were forced to kill your mother or your father, which one would you choose? Oh, my God. Fuck. Father? Father, yeah. Because he would tell me, oh, kill me, not your mom.

Yeah, I think that would happen. Yeah. What if he said, no, please don't. Anyone but me. Yeah. Kill your mother. I've been working on a cancer antidote. What would you do? Would you still kill him?

Would you follow through? All I've got to do is put it inside a capsule. Are you going to kill me before I do this? Yeah. I don't know. I think it'd have to be mad. Sorry, Dad. Sorry, Mick.

Big Mick. Do you like the taste of blood? I liked black pudding when I wasn't a non-meat eater, but... Actually, I know. I'm not totally turned off by the taste of blood. Yeah, it doesn't... I don't think it's disgusting, but I think it's more the sensation of like, oh, I'm making my boo-boo better by, like, licking my cut.

Don't irony, it's weird I'm not enjoying the taste It's just like, okay, this is I need to do this for For, you know Otherwise I have to go Get up and get a tissue For cleaning purposes

And to help it clot You know Anticeptial saliva Antiseptic, yeah Would you rather bleed out Or be set on fire? Bleed out Definitely

You'd pass out You'd get all lightheaded And just collapse Like oh I'm getting a bit fuzzy Being set on fire is Like notoriously The worst way to die It's a unanimous thing

Everyone says Yeah, no, no worse way to go Don't go for that one If you were trapped on an island Would you rather resort to cannibalism Or die of starvation? Cannibalism? Yeah

Well actually depends If it's like a no hope situation But it's like, just got to hold out I don't think I think I'd struggle to kill someone to eat them Even if we all drew straws or whatever That would be really sinister But if someone died

And it was like Well, do we eat him or her Then yeah, I probably would on that topic actually um the last podcast on the left recently did like a series episodes about you know like the oregon trail where people moved like moved across america to california and the hope of like fame and fortune there's a story of like a whole family well a group of people that it just went demonstrously wrong for them like it took them like twice like they set off really late in the season so they got caught in like snow and stuff and like

people dying left right and center pretty much yeah and then it's like a lot of cannibalism went on like and like there was a bit where the drew straws to like like figure out who to kill but no one could actually do it so they just wait for people to die to eat them it's a really fucking interesting series i can't remember what it's called but it's one the newest ones i think it'll be something about something something trail but i do recommend listening to that that likes a really good insight in like how traveling used to be and like how awful it could get to it's horrifying okay spooky but yeah that does sound spooky i don't know it's difficult depends on the situation the island really would you rather see the ghost of a

stranger of someone that you love oh no sorry sorry or someone that you love sorry yeah you're I think someone that I love Yeah Because I would not freak you out But I think it would be more freaky To see a stranger I think it would be less freaky to see someone Like I would

I would trust that they weren't gonna come and like Possess my body or like You know rip my head off or throw A shoe at me or something Yeah I'd rather I'd rather see Would you actually I'm gonna add a question in here Would you rather see a distinguishable figure Like someone that you recognize

Or just a black shadow Oh no someone that I recognize Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Do you think death by drowning or death by electrocution would be more painful? More painful. They say, I don't know why people say this, but that drowning is a peaceful way to die. Like, surely it's not because you know.

It sounds like it would be agony. It's just like unable to breathe. You're just breathing in water, coughing, spluttering. Yeah, you do literally take a lung full of... I think drowning in freshwater is... Oh, which way around is that? I think if you drown in fresh water, it's almost instant. Like, as soon as you take a lung full of fresh water, you pretty much die.

But if you drown in salt water, something to do with the salt, you have to fill up your entire lungs before you die, which is like, it can take a long time. I've heard it's a peaceful death as well, but I don't like see the reason behind that because it's a slow death that you're aware of. That's surely going to be painful. Because if you accidentally inhale a bit of water at the swimming pool, that's painful, let alone breathing in,

gallon out a gallon of water. I don't know. I think being electrocuted, if it's enough to kill you, you probably don't even know what the fuck is going on. I bet it just fries your entire consciousness out of your own head.

Like, you know, if it's that level... It's not instant, I guess. It depends on the voltage, because executions back in the olden days they could quite often went wrong. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I think I go drowning.

I think I go drowning. Really? I don't know. I really hate electric shocks, but I think I might rather be electrocuted to death rather than drown. I don't, oh, I don't know. It's not a nice choice, is it?

Yeah. Would you rather murder three innocent children or watch three of your loved ones die in front of you? Fuck. Fucking hell. It's like the train tracks thing, isn't it? Which side do you want to go? Murder three children or watch three loved ones die in front of me?

Am I a bad person for choosing children? I would maybe murder three. innocent children. It depends on the loved ones. I don't know. If they were there all set up for you to murder. Yeah. Like three people have to die anyway, so I may as well.

Then you're going to have like the children's family hounding you forever. Why did you kill little Susie? Again, it depends on the scenario, like whether I'm going to get caught, how I kill them. I assume this is a scenario where it's just you kill them and it's done. You just get to live with that guilt on your conscience forever. There's not going to be repercussions for your actions. It's just a case if it happens. Live with it.

You would just be haunted by it forever. there, wouldn't you? You wouldn't be able to shut your eyes without seeing them. I don't know. It's a difference between seeing the death of people you love or being the one doing the killing.

Oh. Another hard one. These are getting harder. Okay, well, I'll ask less of a sort of existential child playing one. Yeah. Have you ever tried to contact a spirit with a Luigi board?

A Luigi board? I haven't, but I do want to try at some point. I was in the room while someone did. Oh, were you? Yeah, like we went on this and again, it freaked me out, obviously. We were on like a school

retreat type thing, you know, that they do once a year when you're in like year nine or something. And we went to Kilvrew in Wales, which some people may be familiar with because especially locally to where I was, lots of schools went there. And one evening they sort of made

a makeshift Luigi board. Yeah. And like just tried to straight up just chat with some ghosts. And of course the way it works every time is one person moves the thing across and doesn't tell anyone and goes, oh my God, it just moved. Yeah.

But that doesn't matter in a head that can't rationalise that. It will still fuck with you. Yeah. For me, it would, yeah, I'd get fully invested in it. Sorry. I do with people I trust and just kind of see what happens. I think it'd be fun. Candle lit, some skulls in the room.

If I knew that all it was going to happen is I was going to converse with an actual real-life dead ghost spirit boy or girl, then I would not have as much of a problem doing it. as if I was worried that, as in the films, you then get, like, haunted by the ghost for the rest of your life. And, like, a demon comes and sets your house on fire. You know, I'd be worried that something like that would happen. There's supposedly, like, demon ghosts that do utilize the Ouija board to, in how, like, once they use that as a tunnel to get into your life.

Exactly. And once they're even that kind of thing, right? There's probably films just about that. Yeah, there must be. But, like, there is, like, one famous spirit that is supposedly known for... Oh, yeah, there is, isn't there? Yeah, like, it... I think Claudia is watching a very...

video about it, but like it, if it starts spelling out Z, A, Z, A, or X, X, X, A on the thing, and you know, oh, stop now. It's the, it's the spooky one. It's the one that's going to get you. Yeah. It's the one that'll trip into real. Well, that, that raises another interesting question. I have three more, like, just rapid fire ones that we don't need to talk in depth about, but when it comes to Luigi boards, um, I don't believe that they are remotely real. Yeah. I don't believe that ghosts are real. I don't think any of that shit happens. I think it's usually just some kind of trick of the light or trick of the mind or like hallucination or like you're just freaking yourself out because the human brain is incredibly powerful

and it overthinks things sometimes. But I am still of the opinion that if I were, if I was put down in a room with a Luigi board and said, right, go on then, just fucking use it and see if nothing happens. I wouldn't want to do it. Not because I don't, not because I believe it could happen but because it makes me so uneasy that I just don't even want to go near that like saying Bloody Mary into a mirror three times like I don't want to do that I know nothing's going to happen but I don't want to do it that's I think that's kind of what I mean because I also I do kind of have an open mind to just some kind of vague ghostly phenomenon but Luigi boards as we like to keep calling them I I don't know

know much about that or whether that's a thing. Yeah. But having seen films where a demon then comes and Hey there demons, it's me. Exactly. That's what would stop me. Only just I don't think that this is going to do anything, but

I just don't want to do the thing that in fiction makes the demon come. Yeah. Why would you? Yeah. What about you, Michael? I would try, but like I think, I don't know the quote science behind Luigi boards, but I do look on the Luigi boards

I think it's like it's supposed to be like the spirit is using your body as a vessel for its energy and transferring its energy into your fingers and moving things around that way but I think also like the subconscious like even if no one's purposely trying to move it in a way the human subconscious will kind of just like gravitate towards like it like eventually

like it's gonna like your body's gonna start moving I think just subconsciously because it's like oh this is what I've learned Luigi boards do your fingers are like kind of start just naturally hovering and then you maybe follow your own finger movement like oh it's like oh it's something's guiding like it's like when you've got

an eye floater and you look at it and you find yourself your gaze just going off and off and off and off and off following it along it's like a subtle subconscious thing going on there that makes it kind of work anyway three rapid fires you ready have you ever had a dream about dying yes or no yes uh yes have you ever had a dream about killing someone yes or no yes i can't remember don't don't know and finally if you could ask the devil a question what would it be. Shit. Can I just

quickly talk about one of the dreams where I remember killing someone. Go for it, Michael. Go for it. I'm sure you wrote it down. It was like,

I think I must have been like 12 years old or something. It's a really fucked up dream now to think about it, but I was like... 12. Sorry, hang on, you were 12 years old.

It was, um... He started young. I was alone in the house with my baby brother, which doesn't exist. I did not have a baby brother, but I was alone... So in the dream.

In the dream. Yeah, I had this baby brother. And I was getting really annoyed at it because I was like, fuck this baby who's this baby think he is so I pushed him down the side of the bed and just pushed my bed between like the bed and the walls

the baby got crushed what does it mean if I kill a baby in my dream I think I just pushed the baby down the side the bed left it and then just kind of squeezed it between the bed and the wall

did you actually Google that I want to know what the answer is I've got a page yeah hang on you may just need to keep talking like she said for a second. I don't know what else was... What would you ask the devil, Michael,

while Ben looks up what the fuck is going on in your psyche? What does the devil know? Assuming he knows everything. I don't know where I begin with that. Are Luigi board real? I would... If the devil... What the fuck is God up to these days? If the devil actually appeared to me,

so we don't have to question whether or not he's real. He is real and he appears in the room and he says, what do you want to know? I would not fucking even look at the guy because the moment you ask him a question he probably owns your soul which again I don't think I believe that someone can own your soul but if we're

saying that the devil can exist in the room then it probably is also the case he can take your fucking soul and he's not having mine so I'm not asking him a question. I literally I don't know what I'd ask him no that's a really hard one I generally don't know what I'd ask so you like don't you say

babies can represent new aspects of self They can represent new ideas growing within the self, just like they are new entities of self in the real world. Michael was resisting puberty. In a dream, if the new idea proves to be of no value, you can just destroy it or start over. When the realisation that killing a part of self

within the dream does not eliminate that aspect of self, then a new technique begins on trying to figure out how to utilise aspects of self that you feel are either inferior or that disgust you. I just push the baby down the side of the bed. It was because it was annoying you. Yeah, yeah. Right, there may be something darker there,

but that's something for a therapist and not us. Yeah. Sorry, yeah, Dream Baby. Well, there we go. That was my thing. Some basic bitch spook questions. That was a good thing. A very quick, I know we've had a lot of questions,

but we're going to move on to another one from a person. Yeah. Sheldon at Sheldon underscore Kerr underscore, and their spooky name is Sir Heldon. Nice. Yeah. What is your favorite spook? Are you more ghosts or skelly boys?

So what's your favorite variety of, horror thing. Do you like zombies? Do you like skeletons? Do you like ghosts? Do you like the paranormal? I don't. Since watching paranormal activity, which I'm sure some people will say and also a bit tame, I just don't want to watch ghosts slash demon things anymore. I don't like that shit. I would rather... It sort of brought it home to roost a little bit. Yeah, I'm happy to watch murderers, serial killers. I really like the Hannibal films and stuff like that. I've got no problem with those. And zombies, I guess, are interesting. Yeah. I think vampires and were Werewolves are both super overdone and stale, and I just can't.

Yeah, never got into that world. It's not interesting to me. I like kind of, like, viral things where, like, it's more, like, the transmission of the evil kind of thing. So, like, zombies are a good one about, like, how it gets transmitted between people. But there was a good, I think Contagion was a film released a couple years ago about, like, just, like, a viral outbreak of a disease that eventually just kills you. Like, you get respiratory issues, you vomit, blood, and you just eventually die. And it's just a film documenting the process of that disease spreading across the world. Oh, wow, like a pandemic.

Yeah, it's really good. Like, it's a really good film. It's very slow, very kind of boring in a sense. But it's just nice to see, oh, look, this is how the world could end. I like just the spread of things. I think that's what I find scary. Did you ever play Everybody's Gone to the Rapture? No, I heard the bat.

What was that about? So that's a quote-unquote walking sim for, I think it might have just come out on PS4. And that's it. If you can play that, play it. And I'm going to say vaguely what, happened in it. So if people haven't played it and they want to, then sort of tune out. Are you okay for me to sort of? Yeah, yeah. Basically, it's in this small English village. 80s. Yeah, the 80s. That's just been totally cut off. And you're there. You don't know who you are.

You can't see yourself. You've got, there's no reflection. There's no footstep noise when you're walking. Like it's, it's, there is sort of, yeah, well, that's the thing. Like, as you walk through, there's no people there. It's all environmental storytelling. And when you go into a house, for example and it is it's very atmospheric you go into these houses and there's nothing there but there's like bloody tissues yeah on the side right right and you walk in there and then an event will trigger where there's sort of like this this spiraling shape that represents where like the human that's being that's part of that conversation and they'll be talking to each other and it's kind of like it's a lot like the um uh the archers it's some of the archers castes are actually in the film yeah

on radio four so just like wow it's just like people going about their lives and talking, but it becomes clear as you go through that, like, something happened. Yeah. They started to feel unwell, and then... Birds were dying as well, I think. Birds were dying first, and then they got completely sealed off

from the outside world, because you see, like, police barricades and cars and stuff like that. And as you go deeper and deeper, you start to understand that the local observatory spotted something, and then whatever it was that they spotted, came down some kind of energy force or

something, and it very quickly infected everybody and they weren't really sure why but it seemed like it might be benevolent but the entire town sort of essentially that's why it's romantically referred to as going to the rapture just disappeared and it like you can hear government transmissions at various points during it saying like we need to we need to isolate them we need to cut them off it's travelling through like the phone lines and stuff oh wow and then obviously the police cars that are around the outsider empty, and it's heavily implied that actually this thing has just spread way beyond this place. That sounds really cool. And you're just experiencing this little

pocket and seeing it unfold by experiencing their conversations. These sub-echos of old conversations that took place before they guys. It's really interesting, and especially about that thing, that menace spreading outwards, like insidiously. It's very interesting. I really want to re-watch a contagion now. It's in my head. I'm like playing through the film. Like, oh shit, yeah. You should watch it tonight. Yeah, I might do. I get spooked. Right. A thing. It's a thing. It's time for a thing? Who's got a thing?

I've got a thing. You've got a thing? I thought it would be criminal if we didn't have a spooky trip into Weird Capitia today. Oh my God. I want to tell you about a psychological condition that could affect any one of us. Oh no. Called the Kotard delusion. I'm sorry?

Sorry to what? Kotad. Kotad. C-O-T-A-R-D. Co-T-A-R-D, I believe. Okay. Co-tud. Yeah.

Coated. Coated. Coated? Coated? Quoted. Quoted. The cotard delusion is a rare mental illness in which the affected person holds

the delusional belief that they are already dead do not exist, are putrefying, or have lost their blood or internal organs. Oh, my God, that sounds horrifying. Statistical analysis of a 100 patient cohort indicates that the denial of self-existence is a symptom present in 45% of cases, but paradoxically, 55% of patients believe

they have delusions of immortality. Oh, okay. So they think that they're right. So some people who don't think they exist anymore just assume that that means they're invincible. Yeah, I guess so. So it's named after a guy called Kotard. Well, he's French.

Sorry, what was that? It might even be Qatar. Qatar. Yeah, it's called Qatar. He just knocked the last letter off, don't you? That's how you speak French. And he... Bonja.

He was a man who studied the case of Mademoiselle X, who was like an anonymous patient who had this, and the case describes a woman who denied the existence of parts of her body and of her need to eat. She said that she was condemned to eternal damnation and therefore could not die a natural death, and in the course of suffering, she died of starvation because she just stopped eating. Oh my God. One more recent case in 1990 involves a Scotsman whose brain was damaged in a motorcycle accident. After his discharge from hospital in Edinburgh, his mother took him to South Africa and he was convinced

that he'd been taken to hell which in his mind which, in his mind was confirmed by the heat of the area. Oh my God. And that he had died of septicemia in hospital which had been a risk early in his recovery. He thought that he had quote, borrowed his mother's spirit to show him around hell

and that she was actually asleep back in Scotland. But he was dead and her spirit had just quickly come to show him around. That would make an amazing film. I love these. like weird issues that like just like get triggered and like it's torn out of this well something that like a normal function person would never believe and you just get in the psychological mode where just you're so sure that this is happening it's fucking

unbelievable well a lot of the court so you can get this after for example in this case having an accident you know that guy had a motorcycle accident and I guess he somehow got it into his head that like I should have died or I couldn't die while I'm in hospital and then he just thought he died extremely traumatic yeah but also a lot of people seem to get it kind of in association with depression. Oh. There's a patient... So your mind just thinks, yeah, mine's dead.

Well, I guess so, kind of. There's one patient here. I don't know what caused hers, but she was a 53-year-old woman in New York who was diagnosed in 2008, and she claimed that she stank of rotting fish because she was already dead and putrefying. Right. Not because she just hadn't showered because she thought she was dead.

Well, I don't think she did stink of rotting fish, but she just thought that she did. But a well-publicized case, and I've got some information here from the Daily Mail, so it must be true. Reliable. Was that of Haley Smith 17.

It's a fairly recent story. In her case, it was sort of to do with depression. So she said, my parents had just divorced and I didn't cope with it well. Then one day, when I was sitting in an English class, I had this really weird sensation that I was dead and I couldn't shake it.

So she went to see the school nurse who was baffled and could not find anything wrong with her. I just put a plaster on it. I just need to go to the nurse. I feel like I've died. And she continued, as I was walking home, I thought about visiting a graveyard just to be close to others who were all so dead.

But because there wasn't one nearby, I went straight back to my house and tried to sleep it off. Now, this apparently worked briefly. But then the feeling quickly returned when she was out shopping one day. And this time it didn't go away. And she said, I'd fantasize about having picnics in graveyards. and I'd spend a lot of time watching horror films because seeing the zombies made me feel relaxed

like I was with family. I decided to eat whatever I wanted because I couldn't put on weight because I was dead. What a great excuse for just getting a domino's card. So she, hers went away when, for one thing, she met a boyfriend who was, she said, was just good for her and she was treated for partly for kind of depression and the emotional issues caused by her parents splitting up.

But she also quite famously said that Disney films really helped her recovery. She said they gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling. And she is quoted as saying to her boyfriend once, How can I be dead when Disney makes me feel this good? Did Disney plant this girl on earth? Yeah. It sounds like it. This is one of Mr. Disney's robots.

Literally able to bring people back from death. So that it would go in the Daily Mail that... A PR machine. Walt Disney saved this girl from being already dead. To be fair, Walt Disney, the Daily Mail, that kind of goes together. like cookies and cream that's yeah that's

yeah so uh look out because if you come off your motorbike or if a sad thing happens in your life you might think that you're dead that's crazy I'm really curious what what happened in my brain

when I got hit in the head with that brick yeah what did that dislodge yeah what did that change what shifted yeah what connections got rewired we're not real shit yeah

Peter and I we're not real I've just been talking myself you've been in a coma you might still be in your hospital bed with a brick lodged in your skull I'm hearing a hell I'm hearing a hell Hello. Welcome to South Africa. Oh my God, it's hopefully warm in here.

That's why the studio's so warm all the time. Oh, no. No, it's not. It's because some people, for some reason, are impermeable to cold. Yeah. And it's just like a must have warmth. I don't know if that's what imperman. I think I've just fucked up all of the words in that sentence. But you know what? I gave it a good go. And that's all that matters. What a lovely thing. Thank you, Peter. Thanks, Peter. You're welcome. Happy Halloween. Happy spook fest. Michael, we're going to roll straight into your thing because it's also,

one of the questions that we received a couple of potty to go. Ben Dane Smith, at Ben Dane Smith, what are your first five steps in the zombie apocalypse land or see, group alone, wolf, run or hide, Michael, go. Right, I want to set out, this is for everyone to answer. Everyone can have their own thing, but I want to set down the ground rule that these are slow zombies. Okay.

It's a bacterial infection, it's a classic zombie case. It's not airborne. It's through biting blood transmission. Okay, that's the rules for the zombies. Right. God, do you remember that bit in 28 days later when one drop of blood went in his eye? They looks up and just, p-shh-oh. Yeah.

Sorry, carry on. I haven't seen that film. Really good. That's genuinely fucking amazing film. Got Christopher Eccles cakes in it. Eccles cakes. What's he doing these days? Don't know.

Getting constantly asked about Doctor Who whenever he does an interview and he doesn't like it because he left in a kind of disgruntled way and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Stop, ask. It's been like over 10 years. Leave him alone.

He was in Heroes Season 1 very briefly. I just want to gush you about 28 years later now. That's such a good horror film. Like, it's not overly spoopy. It's just... Our last question will allow you to. talk about that. Okay, good. Well, yeah. Zombie apocalypse. Okay, so assuming

we're all living in our current locations, the apocalypse are started now, you're getting reports everywhere, oh shit, the dead are coming back to life, this is weird, and the Z word's getting thrown about. I would definitely I don't, the problem is right now, I don't have any food in my flat. I just took you to Asda.

I took you, I took you on a shopping trip just the other day. Okay, I've got two days worth of chili. There we go. That's plenty. I've got a couple, so that's the thing, like, I need I would need food. In the early days, I guess, that's when it's going to be

the most horrific and frantic, isn't it? That's when everything's the kind of rioting. And that's when you probably most at risk are getting something because it's just going to be masses of people running about. There's a big homeless population here. What's that got to do with it? Zombies.

What? I'm sorry? Like infecting people who are out and about, they've got nowhere to go. I guess, but... They can't use their phones, can they, Peter? Don't turn this on me. To Google for help.

Don't you try and shield yourself from your own slightly problematic statement that there's a big I don't think that's a problematic statement it's a zombie invasion we're in Bristol and there's a huge homeless population here I don't think owning a home is going to like stop it from going outside at some

point no no no I just mean as in there's likely to be more zombies because there are people on the streets already who can't get somewhere safe yeah the leading cause of the zombie invasion they're homeless I mean in Bristol yes yeah

and don't get me started on the drug enthusiasts they already act like They're so enthusiastic If they just got a job Then it'll be fine wouldn't it We're talking about bacterial zombies Not drug zombies Okay it's not spice

It's not spice or whatever it's called Bath salts Yeah Bath salts Oh is that where they come from Bath Up the train tracks They all come down on the train And they sit on the corner And they get infected

God I think ideally You want power I think there is probably systems in place Where power would at least run for a month or so Internet I think you when we last talked about this,

you said the internet is kind of impervious to anything, it will be there. I think it survives itself unless the entire world just runs out of power. Yeah, yeah. Let's assume for like the first, at least a couple of weeks you've got... Yeah.

Four nines assume will be down because that'll just be busy and rammed all the time, but internet and power. I think because it would be tempting just to hold up in the flat for as long as I can. I live in a pretty secure flat, like to get through.

There's a key cord and doors and locks. You can look on your balcony to see what's going on outside. Yeah, I mean, quite a good spot. but at some point I'm going to get hungry and that's when it gets interesting like I said you have to go out to forage at some point I guess

maybe kind of you I guess first potter call would be to knock on neighbours like anybody in I promise I'm not the zombie he can't borrow a spoonful of sugar or something kind of thing but like after a while you are going to eat to go out into the world

and that's where defence comes into things how do you defend yourself around the stumbling dead because even though in this mine scenario they're all the slow ones they're still fucking terrifying because the problem is the sheer number of them and just getting caught

like going down and alleyway up there's one at the other end up one at the other end hey you're dead now kind of thing because like the local co-op and Tesco they're going to be fully raided within the first 24 hours there's going to be nothing there nothing there it's going to be a case of like just looting people's houses and kind of thing

as it would be nice to have like a certain base you can return to where like no one else can get in it's just you like you go out during the day or whatever get you stuff and return to that area you have a nice safe space. So you'd want to stay put? You wouldn't want to go anywhere? Yeah, I would like to have like a central location where it's, I know it's secure, I know

safe, like the Winchester kind of thing, but I don't, what would, because I don't, I'm not a fighter. I'm not going to last longer if I go head to head with zombies. I'm going to, because it's going to be, we live in the centre of a city as well, so this is going to be a fucking hot spot. Yeah. It's not like this, there's countryside where like it's isolated, like the things to get you, they've really got to try.

In this case, we're in a heavily populated. area so it's going to be everywhere lots of homeless people as well everywhere can you just stop ragging on the homeless i don't understand why it's ragging on the homeless but i will stop i i i do have every night outside my flat there is like a homeless uh meal giving service where they're oh aren't they the fucking worst michael trying to eat oh my god i can't believe you'd say that what's the problem with the homeless population i'm staying out of this all of us all of us have strong opinions apparently yeah anyway i think i think i'd give myself like two weeks before I died.

Yeah? I think that would be... Well, you're not living too far from me. If the zombie invasion were happening tomorrow, if we could get some fuel for my tiny car... The Métis? Yeah. For the absolute beast that is my Chevrolet Métis.

You could go to your aunts in Wales. Go to my aunts in Wales. Although I think country zombies would be pretty scary as well. Living in a spooky hill would be, I think, almost worse than living in a central area. Thinking that you're isolated and then suddenly there's like a batting noise against your door yeah the beginning

of 28 weeks later that that starts it's just like like a country house has completely boarded up they kind of been living in there for weeks obviously

and then just a kid comes running in and they kind of let them in to deal with them and then they start hearing taps and stuff like outside just hordes

zombies running towards them like just that thing of once one knows they all know amazing yeah well if we could get some fuel from somewhere

because I don't have a lot in my car currently then we might be able to stand a chance of getting somewhere if it's happening tomorrow and not today like Ben said.

Can I have some prep time? Well, Michael said now. Can I get full night sleep first? That would be convenient. I don't even mean me having noticed that it's going to happen. I just mean the difference with me is I'm going home tonight. Yeah. If it happened right now as we're in this room recording the podcast, then I'd be pretty fucked.

I would have to just like piggyback off someone else. Yeah. But if it happened tomorrow after I've got back, I think I would have a much better chance of surviving because I'd be out in the sticks. Yeah. Yeah. Eventually the weird country zombies would. make it to my place, but I would last so much longer than just being effectively a homeless

person in Bristol. That's who I would be. And Ben has cleared it up very well that, you know, if you're homeless, you're going to be zombie-fied straight away, which is actually true. Yeah. I honestly have no idea why you guys took such issue immediately. That was a very valid point. It was just funny. It's that you didn't, I didn't realize until later that you meant they've got nowhere to hide effectively. It's time to move on from the phone thing. Let's shift it on to Ben now. I just meant, you know, I didn't know what you were talking about. No, I just mean that if they're on the streets, they are very vulnerable. Yeah.

And way more vulnerable than we are. Yeah. And that's not going to be good for anybody. No, that's true. But also they should get a job in a phone, probably, right? Right. I mean, what are they waiting for? What are they waiting for?

Why are you homeless? Stop being homeless. If you can afford a phone, why can't you afford a house, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're the same thing. Stick by it. Elect Peter. So, let's just say it's happening right now.

what would be your plan of attack would you stay in the office? Because I assume if it happened right now, reports start coming in we could talk to the office people, start planning stuff, maybe. I would be a little bit... Sorry, I'm going to have to stand up. I'm on the least comfortable folding chair ever. Yeah, I'm dying as well.

But yeah, would you stay in the office and kind of... Ben's just literally adjusting his microphone right now, that's fine. I think I would be genuinely tempted to break the law, commit a crime. I would If I could, I would steal a car And drive north

You wouldn't steal a car Yes, I would It's a zombie apocalypse I will steal a car Hey, we could all hit your ride in my car It's very powerful Yeah It struggles uphill sometimes

The issue is As long as it's not uphill I would need I would have to I would make sure That I used my maps Like my sat nav Avoiding motorways

Because the motorways are going to be Absolutely gridlock Like they'll be chaos That'll just be crash cars everywhere I'd just be taking like B roads all the way What if everybody had that idea?

Well, they might do, but at least on the B roads. There's more options there. Yeah. If one road's closed, you can just loop around to another. Drive across fields if you have to. Yeah. But where would be your final rest stop? What would be your goal?

Your final destination. Yeah, what would be like the place you think? Oh, this is safe. Probably my grandparents' place. They live kind of, yeah, on a spooky hill. Almost safe and away from... The zombies get tied before you plan to the top of the hill. Well, you'd see them coming at least.

Yeah. You would genuinely see them coming from. from all directions if you were up there. The thing that you might get to your grandparents' house and, oh, there's zombies. Now you've got to kill your grandparents. Oh, no. Possibly.

Sorry, Jude. Yeah, I don't know. No idea. I'd probably go to my aunts, as you said. Even though it's on a spooky hill in the middle of nowhere, there's lots of houses. There's lots of bedrooms and plenty of food and water and all that kind of stuff. So it would be relatively safe there, I think.

Because in my head, it's a case of just, waiting it out eventually it'll starve to death and eventually it'll be okay zombies will starve to death weren't I suppose yeah yeah that's the thing if they're sort of almost believable zombies where it's people with yeah like a kind of horrible medical

condition but they still have to feed themselves by eating people then yeah they will starve to death eventually so I suppose the the zombies in the walking dead now must be like going round on they're almost like those cute videos of turtles who have Lego wheels attached to them because they're

Their legs don't work anymore. So the zombies are so broken down. You'd think so, wouldn't you? They've been surgically put... They're on skateboards and stuff. Yeah. Apparently not, though. Because that show's still going somehow.

Well, I don't think those zombies have to eat. I think they just do eat. They just break down over time. The actor who played Herschel is now a zombie. He died a couple of days ago. He's a real zombie, yeah. He died a couple days ago as a recording, which is like three weeks ago now. Yeah.

Rip. Rip. Well, there we go. What a lovely thing. Yeah. I like talk about the apocalypse. Finally, we wrap up with a simpler question from Pet Shop Man. Pet underscore Shop underscore Man on Twitter.

The greatest horror of all, the pet trade. Favorite Spookum's films. We've sort of talked about it, but tell me about 20, 28 days later. 28 days later is it's a film more about the people than the zombies, I think. It's British. It's a British film. From Danny Boyle. Danny Boy. Danny Boy. The pipes are calling.

But yeah, how does it begin? How does 20th days... He wakes up in... It begins like the Walking Dead Just fucking copied. He wakes up in hospital He's got all these lines going into his arm Yeah, he's like he's a career

Like a bicycle career He gets in a car crash He gets put in hospital and he's in a coma And in the time he's locked in the hospital room On a coma Apocalypse has unfolded So like the opening in the film was him just kind of exploring the Baron London

Which is like fucking amazing shots Like they actually like plant shots Like they've got huge London landmarks called off the street to like five minutes to get shots and stuff like totally empty London looks really good Yeah, there's this bit where he's crossing I think it's London Bridge Oh well, yeah

The one by um Fucking Big Ben And he's walking across it And there's just all these newspapers like blowing in the wind across And he can just see Big Ben across And he's like Why is this not completely heaving with tourists Yeah

What has gone on here? That's amazing Before you continue Have you guys seen that Darren Bound? Brown especially did, where he tricked a guy into thinking that he was in a zombie apocalypse. Yeah, like in the hospital. Yeah. That was sort of loose.

I don't know if he was, how intentional it was, but that is kind of 28 days later. So if you've seen that. Because that was amazing. It was so good. They were on like a minibus for like a stag do or something and all his mates were in on it. And then they had like fake meteors landing outside and then what happened? They were saying on the news. How did they knock him out?

I can't. Didn't Darren put him under because he was on the bus. He did some minor thing. something and like put them under. And he wakes up and there's a bit of newsreel looping on the TV where I think the woman on the news was saying, oh, they think that there might be some like biomatter inside the meteors that have landed. And that was kind of the explanation is that like this rock has fallen from space and now

everyone has turned into a zombie. Yeah. And then yeah, it's just sort of a documentary told over several parts where this, where everyone's observing this man. And this is real. People might not be familiar with Darren outside the UK. perhaps but like he's he's a hypnotist and an illusionist and and he's very good at sort of manipulating people and learning how to do that and has a very dark kind of uh yes always has a dark twist

to everything that he does and so he set this guy up in a compound didn't he and then faced him with various moral decisions about whether or not to let he's looking after a girl yeah yeah he sort of adopts a little girl who's an actor and uh it's it was really interesting to watch the set up i don't know if it's the same thing but like they gave him a gun at some point and the set, like, the zombies were squibs and stuff. Oh, that was a different thing. Oh, because I remember there was something where, like, the gate, like, it was like a hospital thing

and they gave a guy gun and, like, so he thought he was actually shooting people. Yeah, that was a guy who was at a games arcade. Yeah. He was playing a zombie, a shooter game with like a light gun. Yeah, that was another one part of that series. And then Darren Brown, like, puts him under. Yeah. And then the guy wakes up.

In the game, yeah. Inside a whole set where it's like a hospital and he's got a gun that is, that's, as far as he's aware, it's fucking working. Like, it's got blanks in it and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And he ends up cowering in a corner, like he gets surrounded. He's like, oh, God, oh God, no.

He's like screaming. He doesn't want to fire at them. Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. I can't remember what that series was called. If you just searched Darren Brown, zombie, you'll probably find it. Sorry, Michael. Carry on.

I think, yeah, but like, it goes through the normal zombie film progressions where it's like, oh, we've got to find people to live with and we've got, like, battle against zombies, and, like, there's a few skirmishes in between. But the ending's really interesting because the evil shifts from the zombies to human beings. I think throughout the entire film, they're trying to get to an army base. and think, oh, well, they'll look after us and eventually it turns out the army people are total shits. Like, the most

evil people ever, I don't want to spoil what they do, but it's like, oh my god, you're an absolute fucking monsters. Christopher Akelston is one of the shits. He's like the general. Did they ask him about Doctor Who and he just went off the rails? I swear to God. Turns out they get to safety, but it's not safe at all. Oh, wow. It's

a really good film. It's weird in the way it's shot because it's shot on like SD tape rather than like going like the film route. Yeah, it's very grainy. It looks like a handicamp, pretty much. It's like it's very... It's like gritty, I think. I hate using that word to describe anything.

But it's got a very... It is really good. I've not watched it in a long time. I might watch it on Halloween. It's really good. I mean, I'm intrigued. It's not, it's not overly spoofums. No, it's not.

Yeah, I'm okay with, like, gore and stuff. And I do like stuff that makes me a little bit uncomfortable. Like, last Halloween, I really enjoyed sitting there and watching through season two of Stranger Things, which obviously, you know, isn't a horror by any stretch of the imagination. But even so, like, I'm okay with some stuff, and I've gotten better, but paranormal stuff can fuck off. Yeah, it's not, it's not like that at all. It's really good.

There's probably a couple of jump scares in it, but it's mostly just about... I like Shauna the Dead and things like that. Yeah, and that has a fair share of jump scares in it as well, just to make you jump a little bit. 28 weeks later went off the rail, though that was just awful. I'm not seeing any of the others. Yeah, I hope they do a third one, like 28 months later or something, because it is a fun premise. I thought they did do, or they said they were going to. I think it was in planned, but I think 28 weeks later kind of fucked that plan because it didn't do very well.

That's a shit. Bugger. Yeah. Well, who else has a favourite film? I don't know. I don't know. We've already talked about a few films. Yeah, we've done a lot of films.

Okay, well, should we wrap it up there then? Yeah, we've gone over quite a bit here, but you know what that's going. We have. We hope you'd enjoy, we hope, sorry, you have enjoyed this very spooky episode of Pottie. Spooky it's. So, make sure you go to store.orgas.com to check out all of our merchandise. Yeah, boy. And buy all of that stuff. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook.com, forward slash.

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Various videos. The most important one that we would like you to direct your eyes towards, though, will be the video going out on Saturday. Yes. Which is an announcement video about, it sounds ominous when I say the future of idiots. It's nothing to be worried about. We're transitioning our focus slightly. You'll have to watch the video for more information,

and you'll doubtless have questions. Yeah. And we will address them on the next poddietz. Yeah. But make sure you watch that video on Saturday, because things are a change in. And do literally tell your friends, because that's the kind of thing

that that video is going to go out, and then three months later, people are going to go, why is it da-da-da-da-da. And we were like, well, we did try and tell people to have the very best of our abilities. Oh, well.

Tell your friends about it. Again, it's not an ominous thing. You don't need to worry. It's just we're changing, we're going to be doing a little bit more Twitch. Yeah, but we'll go into detail in the video. So make sure you give that a watch. Guys, is there a question, a spooky question that we can end this on? People should tell us their spookiest experiences.

Yeah, what spooky encounters have you had, any kind, be it supernatural or otherwise? Yeah. What's happened? What spooked you to your core? What has spooked? you. Let us know in the comments below. And until next time, thank you very much for listening. Thank you.