Podiots - Spookiots: Episode 63 - Clown Honk

Episode Date: October 20, 2020

Peter's had some fatal on-set accidents, Mikey's locked us in a haunted house, and Ben's lost his arm. Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/ New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord   Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump   Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Condition supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Oh, my. Oh, no. Do you guys feel that? Spookiness in the air. Do you hear the ghost train? It's rolling around the band.

There shivers down your spine. Spooky scary skeletons. Spooky scary. will extract a confession from you with their blinking red eyes. And then it'll be made into a video and be slightly underwhelming. Yeah, I'm sorry, but that video was shit, wasn't it? Was it not a bit shit? Thanks to everyone who sent it to us, by the way.

Yeah, thank you. We've seen it, and I think we're all pretty disappointed by it. You know, they built it. We can't dispute that it was built. Yeah. But they just did, it was just, oh, I'm going to completely take the piss while doing it. it and obviously it's ridiculous but no one's taking it seriously and that's it i think for it to work it's got to be a grueling three-hour skeleton interrogation setting yeah yeah did you eat the cookie did we establish whether the uh the patent is still active because technically they broke the law there building that's true or i guess only if they sold it afterwards i think it's i think it's still

active yeah i'm not i'm not sure we did have a look at the time but uh yeah it needed a full myth busters level of scientific testing but it just felt like it felt like the skeleton interrogation guys was just one big joke to this this person and uh I don't appreciate that someone's legacy they're playing with right there I don't I don't stand for it what this really should have done is in a very immoral problematic way got a real murder suspect who'd just been brought in for questioning and you know got got them to be interrogated by the skeleton man because then you might have a chance, you know, but if you're just faking it for fun, how are you going to know how

intimidated you really are by the spooky skeleton boy? It's the only way to know if it works, right? Yeah, true. You've got to test it properly. If we're going to make advancements in skeleton-related police work, it's got to be done with vigor and heart. D.C. Is it D.C.I or DC? DCI is detective constable. DCI is Harry? Is that DCI? Is that DCI? Are you talking about Harry Bat? I think he's D.I. Detective Inspector. All right. Well, what about D.I. Harry Bat's plural? Is that somehow spookier? Did it make it worse that I spent a long time laboring over the correct letters?

Talking of spooky, there's some sort of poltergeist in my room right now. There's a little, I think the house is settling. So if you can hear some tapping in the background, I'm sure it'll go away eventually, but there's just no obvious source of what's doing it. There's just something going tap on the other side of the room occasionally. So I just don't address that in case it's in the background of my audio there. It's definitely haunted.

We're joined by a ghost today, which will hopefully shut up soon. And with that, oh, oh. What's happening, baby? Intro. Hello, everybody and welcome to Spooky It's, the official poddyuts podcast of the official vidiots podcast. It's a conversational podcast where we take some questions from you at home and obey the laws of the three. where everybody brings a thing thing

along to talk oh perfect that's going to sound that was awful wasn't it I'm Peter and I'm Michael

I spent a good five minutes there scrambling my brain to try and think of a spooky alternative to Michael but Michael Myers there we go that's good

Peter Sutcliffe Peter Sutcliff Oh, oh, no. Benito Mussolini. The greatest fear of them all, fascism. Well, if you hadn't guessed, it's that fucking scare time again, for God's sake. You love it, don't you? Oh, a big fan, me.

At this point, it just seems like there's one every year. We're going to fucking sick of it, to be honest. But yes, Spooky It's is our annual spooky Halloween-themed Pottietz episode. This is technically Spooky It's 3. We've made it to 3. Damn, well done. Unlucky for some. That's what they say, isn't it? About 3.

Is it? Yeah. I think so. Sure. That's the number. Thank you so much for listening along. We realize, hey, Halloween's not yet. Well, the next episode is after Halloween. So that's where Spookiots is taking place before the end. But we hope you either listen to it,

immediately or save it until Halloween, as is required by law. However, did you know that you could listen to this spooky podcast for free? And that will be fine. And we would love you forever for doing that. But you could also go one step further and support us financially. Did you know that? Oh, I did know that. It's such a cool collection of people as well.

It's amazing. What would we call them, Peter, this collection of people? I was thinking maybe something like the podcast squadcast or something like that. I like that. That rose off a tone. Maybe shorten it to just the podcast. P.S. The podcast.

Yeah, the P.S. If you'd like to be a P.S. Then you can join PS by going to streamlabs.com forward slash poddiet's donations. And donating. Yeah, that's it, isn't it? I thought I missed read it. Donate three pounds or more. I feel so rusty.

It's been two weeks. Donate three pounds or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast. It helps immensely. And now it's time for your Spooky. Pod Squad You start with Stephen Scodes My fingers are really gross

Hulk Wogan Big fun of that one I do like Hulk Wogan Windy Miller Samuel de Barber Big Titty Jesus 42 Okay

Jizzle McCandle Spook Monster Trucker Fucker Spooky Edward Jizzar hands Awful Fox 42 is sad Oh Nip-nop

Willie Wamp Give Ben a bone Jiggly linear You can't say puff Right Just did Oh damn it Oh

Timmy back in prison Lord Brotovitch But spooky And very generous I miss German robot lady And he A robot lady says Peter do bisse

Gross Oh thanks Oh no She'll come Robot lady will return. From the grave. Oh! Ah!

And ghosty. Spooky Kevin from Con. Kermit the Pog. Polly's spooky poopums. The exorcism of Emily Lemons and the very generous Trunters discount foregouar. Foisegrass.

That's it, isn't it? Descod Fogorgo. Oh, gore. It says, where's the case containing the worst game ever gone? It's actually in the room that I'm sitting in right now. Oh, no! Oh, no! Yeah. Could get you.

I know, I'm sort of keeping an eye on it. There could be goblins and all kinds of things. The list continues. Spookum de spook. Arse face, but spookier. Stucalicious, who hasn't gone with spookalicious. Wow. Jesus.

Crooks, Randy's, Ravisleck. violy fetish, Spooky Becky, Chav Chav Ramirez, Fred, with a W, Weber, loves Halloween, Little Dick Budder 24,

Alan Clor, then the man loves Ben, Donna C-O-7, ye oldie mercenary prostitute, Uno Bella, oh sorry, Oh no, Bella, who was very generous and says,

this might be a little cheeky, but can you boy, I was please let my girlfriend Tammy know? that she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, love Owen. Oh, that's nice of Bella to say of that. Yeah, thanks Bella.

Also, the artful jammy dodger, nuky cat and bobby cat. Booby cat. Sorry, yeah, spooky cat and bobby cat should be. Finn Tristam and the Hoobes. The very generous Dave Bacon Phillips, who, in fact, the exceedingly generous. Wow, look at that number.

He says, I didn't leave a message last time, so I will this time. Excelsior. Also, a very generous donation. That's actually someone's name, a very generous donation. Prince Beefcakes and Big Titty Jesus 42. Uncle Foucault's family

feedback. Would you like a question, no? Rip Russian peasant woman's vage, it says. I listen to this while driving. Don't hire cheap hit men. Reheated chicken takeaway, the cuntiots. Paying Mikey a visit,

Loll. And finally, Lee is a name. Ben Ben Ben's hasty diatribe Breeze Block Wank sock with a generous donation. What up, lads. Hope it's all vegan friendly gravy with you guys despite the world being on fucking fire,

question mark. The quickest of requests, please. Can the absolute, oh God, can the absolute legend that is Ben Potter please do the longest, loudest and proudest nerds are known to man? Okay. Let me know when you've stopped

Did it, did it noise cancel for you, Mikey? Yes. He may still be going. You done? Oh, I hear it's just occasionally popping in. immediately cut you off because you went so far away from your microphone. It was like, oh, that must be background. That can't possibly be the person who's trying to speak on this call,

because who would want to make that noise? So we didn't hear any of that. Freddie Weber is stingy. A succulent Chinese Mao with a generous donation. I can't believe Peter read my name wrong last episode. I'm extremely offended. But take my hard on pennies anyway. Also, would you guys ever think about recording a D&D campaign

Sorry, Ben. It's only a little question. How dare you? I've often wanted to bring a tiny D&D campaign along as a thing, but I just don't know what I'm doing. Got a tiny one. It would have to be over in 10.50s. Really, really small one. I'd be open to it, but I don't know what I'm doing. Do you guys know what you're doing? Yeah, it's the kind of thing I'd love to do. Maybe we'll, well, maybe that'll be like a special stream we do at some point once we get a clue. I have to get like a professional DM in, I think. Hang on. Chinko is Japanese for Dick. That's good to know. Wow, okay. Thank you for the donation. Thank you for the donation. Big Titty Jesus 42 and gooey, bug, Spittoon. Oh, hang on. There's another one as well.

They came in just at the last minute. XX poop 69-420X. Thank you. There we go. I'm impressed by all the people who are trying to throw us off with names like, and finally. Yeah. Thank you for the donation. Not very naughty. A very generous donation. Very clever. Thank you so much, everybody. That is your spooky pod squad for this week.

Streamlabs.com forward slash potty's donations to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast. Thank you so much, guys. Right, would you like your first question, boys? Yes, please. This is from Liam. I barely knew him.

At Liam's underscore dead on Twitter who asks, fuck marry kill, classic monsters edition, Dracula, the creature from the Black Lagoon and the Wolfman. I'm going to have to Google the creature from the Black Lagoon

just to know what I'm just a sort of reptile Oh is it? Yeah Oh yeah that's that one Yeah I don't want to go anywhere near that Look at that thing I think I'd kill that Well

But the hair of the wolfman Bothers me I don't really want to I certainly don't want to marry him I wouldn't want to live with a hairy A hairy beast oh my god look at that picture wow oh that is horrible

they're remaking that there's an upcoming remake I think yeah yeah I mean it's probably been cancelled by by COVID or you know halted is it part of that extended monsters universe they wanted no I think well they cancelled that monster's universe immediately after oh god Mikey what is that the new one is that the I think so yeah

is that Hollywood Hollywood has made the creature from the Black Lagoon sexy Yeah, I think I've tried. It looks angry. I think I could maybe fuck that. Yeah? Yeah, maybe. Okay.

I mean, if I marry Dracula, maybe it's better to fuck Dracula because then, you know, he's only going to bite you once, whereas if you marry him, you've got to live with him forever or for, you know, however long. That's true. I think I'd have to kill the werewolf because I don't want to fuck a werewolf, and I also don't want to live with a werewolf. Okay.

Whereas I could maybe shut my eyes and think of England if I fucked either a vampire who's going to bite me or the modern version with abs of the creature from the Black Lagoon. I think I'm going to off the creature from the Black Lagoon because it just, I imagine it stinks. Oh yeah, it probably does. It probably does smell bad. I'd rather marry the hairy werewolf

than the slimy, smelly creature from the lagoon. Would that mean we'd have like a water bed for the If you're going to marry the creature from the Black Lagoon Would they have to sleep in water Or could they only come out of water for half an hour of time Which means you wouldn't have to see them much I haven't seen it but I imagine it's the plot of the shape of water Is it not?

I mean it's less benevolent It's less It's more violent It's just a monster that lives in a swamp Yeah So more Shrek than Yeah In the shape of water

Okay. Yeah. The Shrek of Water is what it basically is, I think. It's just a mix of the two, really. I would be afraid that if I had sex with the creature from the Black Lagoon, it would lay eggs. Oh, that wouldn't be going to be like a million babies as well, wouldn't you? Right. Yeah, like some sort of Simpsons Treehouse of horror sort of situation, you know.

But then think of all the money you'd get in child benefits from having hundreds and hundreds of kids. But are Black Lagoon creatures? recognized as citizens of any nation. Do tadpoles get benefits? I don't know. I mean, there's time to set a precedent, I suppose. I think I would... God, I don't know.

Is the wolfman always a wolf? This may be a silly question. Oh, well, I mean, he's not... I mean, if your question is he always a wolf, then no, he's not. But if you mean, in the context of this question, would he always be a wolf? Well, I just mean, if I'm marrying the wolf man, is it... Am I always dealing with Wolfman or am I sometimes dealing with man? That's true, actually.

Only once a month would he be all hairy and messy in the house. Maybe it is worth marrying him. But then the other thing is, with any three of these monsters, any of these three monsters, do they want to sort of eat you when they're in their monstrous form? You know, is Dracula going to suck your blood? Or is he going to suck your dick? Or is he going to suck your dick, indeed. Or when the Wolfman is in wolf form,

is he going to just want to literally tear you into people? pieces or you know or not that's a very good question i think based on my scientific viewing of the castlvania netflix show being married to dracula was it just a vampire was it dracula let me just check the wording of that uh yeah dracula uh it's pretty good you know he he loves you and respects you but then when you get murdered by jealous townfolk he goes on a rampage and wants to end the world so there's always that gamble but you'll be dead so you know Who cares, right? That's true.

Have to someone take vengeance on me? So, yeah, that sounds romantic. Yeah, in Van Helsing, which was admittedly a bit cheesy. Also scientific. Yeah, not so scientific, but he was very, very caring of his three brides. That sounds, oh, three brides. Wow. He's got a lot of love to give.

I think I'm going to marry Dracula, to be honest. And then maybe sleep with Wolfman. and then creature from the Black Lagoon gone out of here Fair I think yeah I'm going to stick my guns I'm going to marry Wolfmanan

and have a good night with Dracula Okay well I'm going to fuck the creature from the Black Lagoon But only after you two have killed him Oh It's going to smell even worse You know yeah right Delicious Okay who's got a thing

I've got a thing Go on And you know I might be worth getting it and this one sort of out of the way early because, you know, I wanted to bring something sort of spooky. And so what I thought I would bring was a digital

spy article from God knows how long ago about cursed movies. You know, movies where like lots of misfortune befell the cast and so on. Unfortunately, from about entry number seven, even

within the article itself, they actually point out the fact that okay, all of the entries after this point have genuine tragedy in them and they're really not funny so we're not going to make any gags in our prose so I've still I've continued to bring it along

but this is going to be an unfunny five, ten minutes while I read this to you Peter you've sold me on this really sold it yeah okay prepare to feel incredibly uncomfortable and sad occasionally in the middle of sentences

can you just sort of go hi like a little oh my god well when you hear what we're dealing with I don't think you're going to No, I think part of me really does want that. Okay. Yeah.

Right. I'll consider it. We start with number 10, The Conjuring, 2013. You'll find a lot of horror films claiming to be cursed, and that's got absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it's a great and cheap method of marketing, said horror films. No, the conjuring's curse was super serious, you guys. It saw the stars occasionally getting their telephone calls cut off while they were in the middle of talking. talking.

Oh my God! And brace yourselves, director James Wan's dog barked at nothing at one point. Oh my, dogs never bark at nothing. No. It's terrible. It's okay. It starts lighthearted and then gets horrendous.

Oh, and Vera Famiga opened her laptop one day and found five claw marks across the computer screen. Which is actually pretty spooky if it's not made up or she didn't accidentally leave her cat in charge. of the online banking that day. Oh, digital spark. I think she just wanted the insurance, didn't she? Yeah, probably.

These events were so scary that the crew hired an on-set exorcist for the sequel, which, again, definitely had nothing to do with marketing. No. Okay. Number nine, the Passion of the Christ, 2004. Cursed movies are often associated with the devil,

but the Passion of the Christ seemed to invoke God's anger, or certainly something that uses one of God's signet, moves. That's because Jim... Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hang on. Okay, Google. Define God's signature moves. Oh, you'll hear about them in just two sentences time. That's

because Jim Caviezel, I think. Cavizel? Cavizel, probably. I don't know names. I've not seen it. And assistant director Jan Michelini were struck by lightning during the filming of the sermon on the Mount. Okay, fair enough.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. For Michelini, it was actually the second time he'd been struck during production. One person getting hit by lightning is unlucky. Two, seems to be a vendetta. Still, at least director Mel Gibson made it offset without accruing any bad luck. His career was just fine after this film was released. No racist.

Number eight, The Wizard of Oz, 1939. This does not include the thing that didn't actually happen. In fact, I think they say about, the thing that didn't happen, which we'll get to. Another popular movie with a set, plagued by trauma, was the Wizard of Oz. The original tin man, Buddy Ebson, had to hang up his metal outfit and quit

after getting a lung infection from the makeup, but that's not all. Winged monkey extras fell from their wires. The wicked witch caught fire and had to take time off to recover, and even Toto broke a poor. No!

That's the worst one. I know, that is the worst. Let the Let the witch be set on fire in real life, as long as the dog doesn't break a leg. That's a lot of nasty events. But that said, we're not sure if this film was so much cursed as it was really bad health and safety.

By the way, the myth that a munchkin hanged themselves on set and can be seen on camera is obviously total nonsense in case you were wondering. Fair. Thank you. Thank you. Digital Spy. Number seven, Superman. The Superman, quote, unquote,

quote curse, covered TV and movies, and is actually too serious to joke about. In fact, this is the section of the feature where we stop making gags, as from this point on, each cursed film suffered really serious tragedy. Really wish I'd not made that noise now, because George Reeves heart-breakingly committed suicide in 1959 after playing the iconic character on the hugely popular TV series, The Adventures of Superman. Conspiracy theorists note that his fingerprints weren't found on the gun and suggest the actor was murdered, but whatever the cause of death, it took Reeves too soon.

As for the movies, Christopher Reeve had to retire from the Superman role when he was thrown from his horse and paralyzed from the neck down and also died too soon, age 52. Things only get more cursed from this point on. There are actually the top couple of entries in this. It's bonkers like what actually happened to so many people involved in one project. Number six, Rebel Without a Cause, 195. Rebel Without a Cause is a legendary film that will be remembered forever.

Sadly, three of its leads weren't able to see its reputation grow, as they were all taken before their time. James Dean died in a car accident shortly after completing filming, age just 24. Sal Mineo was killed by a mugger outside his house in 1976, age 37, and Natalie Wood was drowned in 1981, age 43, in an event that was initially deemed an accident but has subsequently been recategorised by police as potentially suspicious.

Number five, I think this is pronounced a tuck. A took. It's A tok. Yeah, a tock. I've heard about this. This is crazy. As heartbreaking as the events surrounding Rebel were, at least the film was completed before the terrible luck struck. Atock, a comedy about, it says an Eskimo here,

I don't know if they mean an Inuit, possibly, but anyway, they've said an Eskimo. Emigrating to New York remains forever unmade, partly because of the tragedy surrounding its casting. Here we go. John Belushi died of a drug overdose shortly after reading the script. Oh, wow. Isn't that bad?

Yeah, immediately just. Comedian Sam Kinnerson was cast next, dying in a car crash before filming could begin. Next, John Candy took the role and died of a heart attack. Chris Farley opened talks to play the lead and died from a drug overdose in similar circumstances to his hero, Belushi. Production was halted and the film will likely never be completed,

which is pretty crazy. Wow. Sort of infamous this film for the fact that every time they cast someone, they end up dying, which is mad. Number four is Rosemary's Baby, 1968. The plot of Rosemary's Baby sees an actor selling his soul to the devil in exchange for fame and fortune, sacrificing his beautiful wife as part of the bargain. It was director Roman Polanski's breakthrough film, bringing him major success and widespread acclaim. The film

was released in 1968, and in the same year, Polanski married model-turned actress Sharon Tate. Just a year later, Tate died at the hands of Charles Manson's family, who broke into their home saying, I'm the devil and I'm here to do the devil's business. It's a shame Polanski's such a shit, because Rosemary's Baby is a bloody good horror, but oh well.

That horrific event, alongside the early death of Rosemary's Baby composer, Christoph Kameda, months after the film was released, at age just 38, and the satanic connection to the film, have led many conspiracy theorists to label Rosemary's Baby a cursed

film. Only three left. The Exorcist, 1973. Not only was shooting delayed by a set fire, Ellen Burstein and Linda Blair seriously hurt their backs during filming and there are multiple deaths associated with the Exorcist Curse.

Actors Jack McGowan and Vas... Oh, hello. Vasilyriky Maliaros. Vasoliki Maliaros, I think. Who died when the film was in post-production. Both played characters. who died in the movie, which is a bit weird. In 1987, actress Mercedes MacCambridge, who was the voice of the demon Pizzou,

suffered bleak tragedy when her son murdered his wife and children before taking his own life. Lovely. Also, in 2017, Peter Austin nearly lost his job. Absolutely. When making a video about The Exorcist. By leaving the phrase, your cunting daughter in a walk-collar. video two minutes after the end number two makes me laugh I'm sorry that's just the funniest thing ever is your cutting door people scrub through to the end because I watched

it I didn't I'm lucky really I watched it back and I you know it sort of came to the end and then there was just black screen I was like oh no and I thought that was the worst that that had happened it's like oh no there's loads of black screen at the end and I thought well that can only have happened because I've left a clip way down the timeline. So I skip to the end. And then it just went, you can't take daughter. And that was it. Because of that, because of that incident that I didn't even experience myself, I always scroll to the end of my timeline and press play at the end of the end cards, just to make sure it stops on its own. Yeah. Yeah. I always check now. Video durations before I upload them. Let's get through these last two. Number two, Poltergeist,

In fact, 1982, over a six-year period following the creation of the Poltergeist franchise, three crew members died in tragic circumstances. In 1982, actress Dominique Dunn, she played the Freelings' oldest daughter, Dana, was strangled by her ex-boyfriend. She was just 22. Will Sampson, who played Medicine Man Taylor, died in 1987 from complications following surgery. And one year later, Heather O'Rourke, who played young Carolan, the main character of all three in installments, suffered cardiac arrest and died, and she was only 12 years old. Whoa! Okay, that is a bit spooky.

It's crazy, isn't it? And finally, The Omen, 1976. Topping our list of cursed movies is The Omen, because even if the story surrounding this film are just coincidences, they are still really disturbing. Not one, but three planes carrying cast or crew suffered in extreme weather. Gregory Peck and screenwriter David Seltser took two separate planes to the UK and both were struck by lightning

executive producer Mace Newfield's plane from Rome was also forced to fly through a lightning storm now that might just be because they all flew around Europe when there were storms maybe maybe it was just autumn or whatever but then it says

later Peck's plane to Israel crashed killing everyone on board Oh, dear. But Peck had cancelled his ticket moments before. Oh, my goodness. It's very spooky. Director Richard Donner's Hotel was bombed by the IRA. Special effects artist John Richardson was involved in a car accident that killed his girlfriend.

All hugely tragic events, which went tied to the movie's plot about the Antichrist, killing off his enemies, have an added air of creepiness. That is a lot. He had every kind of disaster in that one. Yeah. Wow. It must be said that a lot of these people, you know, have made a hell of a lot of films. And some of these circumstances take place years, if not decades, after one film they made. Yeah, it's like over a period of six years, some people died.

Oh, my gosh. Seventy years after the film's released. God, it's like the fucking skeleton interrogator all over again. Yeah. I mean, it's like whenever anyone, I mean, it's probably, they're probably all dead now. but whenever anyone died who was involved in the excavation of Tutankarmoon, they would always say it was the curse. Unless they died peacefully in their sleep, you know,

they'd be like, oh, he had a heart attack, oh, he died in a car accident, oh, and it's like 50 years on after they've done the excavation. Did you know that everyone, nearly everyone who fought in World War I is dead now? Whoa. The toast war. The cursed war, exactly. Did you know that almost everyone who's ever died had two eyes? No.

Have you got two eyes? Oh my God. Guys, you're going to die. You are freaking my brain. Yeah. Oh my God. Good news. You know who else has two eyes?

Who? The creature from the Black Lagoon. Oh, thank you. As long as that piece of shit dies in there. Yeah, it makes it okay. Peter, can we get one more clown honk from you, please? Yeah. Thank you so much for that

Thanks for bearing with me That took longer to read than when I read it in my head No, I liked it, that was fun Well, not fun, but you know what I mean I enjoyed I had a good time I didn't have a good time, but you know what I mean I enjoyed it. I took a lot of pleasure in hearing about all those children

who died in real life Thank you, thank you for it. There it is, that's what I was trying to say. Christy, sorry, Christy Lynn asks the next question at Mrs. Lovett 105 on Twitter If you had to take one aspect of Halloween away forever, costumes, candy, haunted houses, etc., what would you take away and why? Oh, that's a tricky one. Is there any downsides to Halloween in terms of, like, a costume party's a fun. There are a lot of effort, and I very rarely dress up for them, but it's nice to have that as an option.

Sweets, great. Who doesn't love sweets? Yeah. Haunted houses, I guess, so something I could lose. What's some aspects of Halloween? It starts really early. people like to start celebrating as soon as it hits September. It's like, oh, it's an early spook time?

It's a spooky season? Only spook time? Spook time? You ready? People don't do that for any other holiday. Even December, like, I know the shops do, but like... Yeah, there's Christmas stuff in Tesco at the moment. Yeah, but like a lot of people, just regular non-I-owner shop and I'm in charge of the window displays, people,

won't put their Christmas decorations up until like, you know, a week or so ahead of time. They don't do it on December the 1st. I guess some people do, but... Yeah. I know what I'd get rid of from Halloween, though. Hmm. Oh. I would ban all costumes that don't at least have some element of spooky or evil or nefariousness to them.

I don't like it. I don't like the American trend of people who just dress as like astronauts or Indiana Jones or... I'm a sexy nurse. Yeah, exactly. Like, if you want to be a sexy something, be a sexy. sexy witch or a sexy cat or a sexy zombie or a sexy zombie nurse

well I mean it's like it just it irritates me that that people you know they dress as the Hulk or as

as like even I would accept people dressing as like say a politician that they think is evil or bad because at least you're sort of your say I am dressed as something bad and spooky or villainous. But don't dress as, you know, like, say you're a big, like, pro, I don't know,

say you really like David Attenborough, but you're like, I'm going to dress as David Attenborough and then walk around the party, narrating people's party things. Right. Like, don't do that. Don't do it. No, dress is the chimp that David Attenborough failed to save. Yeah, exactly.

The ghost of Coco the gorilla, the man inside. Inside, of course. Or, you know, dress as someone, you know, if you want to dress as a celebrity, pick, for example, Donald Trump if you're anti-Donald Trump or... Who's another well-known politician people don't like Peter? Who could you dress up as? Or Joe Biden, if you're anti-Joe Biden. Think more famous and evil than that.

Oh, Himmler. Close. Joseph Goebbels. Yeah, that's the guy. Yeah, got him. So that's what I do. Stop dressing as flipping Sully from Monsters Inc and get some blood on your face, for God's sake. Get your spook on.

It's not a fancy dress party. It's bloody Halloween. Yeah. Have you got any more thoughts, Mikey? I've been trying to think about other aspects of how old. You just like all of it. I just think it's fun. It's a good time.

Especially for Claudia, this is the best time of the year because this is like the past month. Claudia's just been buying decorations for the house. That'll stay up for the rest of the year. So we've got like a little placard on. the wall with a ghost on it we've got little glittery pumpkins about and they're going to stay there forever yeah those aren't decorations michael those are furnishings yes that yeah that's it they live there forever i i'm not okay she's not here i can't say anything bad about halloween or she'll kill me blink to us in moors code i hate it all

blink really close to the microphone yeah blink hard we want to hear the eyelashes moisture of you yeah okay there we go is that you don't you what you can't say that. Oh, Jesus. Whoa, we'll get banned from YouTube. Michael. My goodness. Sorry, I'll start. I'll stop. That's disgusting. The vitriol comes out sometimes. People really like Halloween, and I would never take that away from them. It's not for me,

personally. I'm a huge fan of Christmas, so I understand people's frustrations with it starting in July. But, you know, I do think people, especially on the internet, you know, you can't avoid it on Twitter. Everyone's got the spooky names and stuff. Oh, yeah. And it just, God, it just starts immediately. You know, it's like, oh, time to go. The world's on fire. This is the one thing that makes me happy. Time to have a spooky day.

I was going to say, actually, when you go trick-or-treating, have you ever had someone give you something non-sweet? We got fruit once with apples. I feel like I'd happily kill, not kill someone. I'd happily get rid of people who give fruit at Halloween. But one year, I did get a bag of crisps. And surprisingly, I really enjoyed it. It was a good break.

I said, yeah, I'll have some salt and vinegar, Chris. That sounds really good. Oh, wow. Yeah. The worst thing was, they weren't even like nice, crunchy apples. They were sort of already wrinkles. They've been sitting in their fruit ball for ages. Just this old lady was like, I've got you some fruit.

You should eat more fruit. Oh, dear, yeah. I've discovered a drink that's really nice. Did you know that vodka comes in more than one flavor? No. Yeah. Because you can get salted caramel vodka. And if you mix it with apple tizer, it just tastes like a toffee apple.

Oh my God, wow. It's dangerous. I'll tell you that. That does sound dangerous. So that's a somewhat Halloween adjacent niceness. That I won't do away with. But anyway, there we go. Mikey.

Do you have a thing son? I've got a thing soon. Good. Right. We have been tasked with surviving the night in a spooky haunted house that's filled with ghouls, goblins and axe murderers. I'm going to die, aren't I? Well, we're in luck

because the evil mastermind who's put us in this place is giving the opportunity for us to bring along some friends. We have seven spaces in our crack team to survive the night in the spooky haunted house. Is this like the bunker one? It is indeed like the bunker one. Okay, I like that. On my left, I have a bowl of names.

On my right, I have a ball of personality traits or things that alter that person in some way. It's a description. We have seven spaces. There is 14 total possible selections to be made. Obviously, the trick here is if you disregard the first lot, you could potentially get stuck with a shitload of people to fill up the numbers at the end. Or if you choose too many at the beginning, you might get some really good caucus later on.

So it's a balancing game of choosing all the right people. Yeah, I like this. So think carefully. Shit's about to get real. We start with a ghost girl. This is a friendly ghost girl, I presume. But they're incredibly stoned all the time.

Oh, okay. I mean, if we encounter any actual, like, other ghosts in the house, maybe she can just sort of go, hey, everyone, just calm down, you know. Do you want a bit of this? Yeah. Does she have any with her? Or is she just, is she stoned because it's all gone?

I think, in my head she was like constantly throughout the night talking up. So I think she's got a little supply on her own, but I don't think we'd be able to enjoy it. It'd be for the other ghosties to enjoy. Okay. It's ghost weed. Ghost weed, yes.

What do you think, Peter? Because part of me wants to just go chaotic this time and get the worst possible people. That's a very middle ground one that ghost girl she's sort of like she's only useful in a specific instance but also she's not like really she's not a really big problem other than taking a slot so i'm happy to just get rid of her okay see what else we're brought it's the first one so i think yeah you've made a

wide moves by um wide wise wise move by getting with the ghost girl i think personally i think she'd be a bit useless as well yeah she's not bringing anything not any fun not anything all right Of course, Gold, you're out. Sorry. Next up we have Dick Machenko. But he... But they're a gorilla. Oh, no, we don't want that.

Is he the man inside of Coco all this time? Dick Mucinco is the gorilla. So, yeah, Dick Machenko is a gorilla. He has been all this time. That does not sound like anything I want any part of. Oh, really? I love that. Rich, you want that?

Mussela team, though. He'd be even more powerful. So he would be on our side. We wouldn't, it wouldn't just be he is here and he is your problem. Well, I think he would be on your side, but as guerrillas can be, is a bit unpredictable, a bit unwieldy, and, you know, might be a bit of a stinky boy, might be useful breaking down doors, batten the heads off. That's fine language.

Exactly, yeah. We could say Dick, smash, you know, like from Avengers. Dick smash, there we go. I feel like Gorilla Dick Machinco is a good choice. Yeah, let's have him. Just for pure power alone. Well done, Dick. We've got Derek Acora.

Oh, no. But they're wielding machetes in both hands at all times. Oh, but he's a con man. He's not going to know what to do with those machetes or how to talk to ghosts. That's the thing. Like, some people would say, like, oh, Derek Acora is the perfect person to have in a haunted house because he can talk to the ghosts. He's probably the least qualified to talk to the ghosts out of everyone.

apart from the fact that he's actually dead now you know yeah he can finally talk the ghosts yeah he can finally talk to the ghosts I don't want Derek a quote I don't really like him no I don't want him don't want him all right

I was off I thought it would be good as a potential fodder you could throw him in a room but even if he's only purposes to die I think he'd manipulate and snake and sneak and before we know it he'd have sold us out to the ghosts and he'd be outside and escaped

just mumbling Mary loves dick under his breath. Mary loves dick. One of the ghosts is your dead mother for 20 quid I'll tell you what you're saying. Terribard.

Okay next up we've got a ghost hunter with 20 years of experience and lots of equipment but he only speaks in bad puns. I'm sold, he's coming. Perfect.

That sounds like the best person ever to have on your team. Turns it into an action movie instantly. Break the ice and you know cuts through the tension of the ghost situation

You are dead wrong or something or something like that one line is like that all night long while you're beating off the undead I'm sorry

not beating off the upset that's a different thing that's a different thing isn't it yeah it's entirely different thing okay you've got a highly trained

martial artist but every time they see a ghost they let out a really smelly fart oh no To be fair, what's a highly trained martial artist going to do apart from potentially keep Dick the gorilla in line? Actually, I think there's a positive to them farting every time they say a ghost

because then you're very aware there's a ghost in the room. It's like the canary. It's a minor's canary. If you can smell fart, there must be a ghost. Exactly, yeah. A highly tuned rectum. Yeah, he's obviously not that well-trained in martial arts. if he's not got the discipline or the sphincter control to not far all the time. Maybe that's why he's so good as he's so embarrassed by his farts

that he never lets anyone hit him. Hmm, yeah. I don't know if he's that useful. Yeah, I don't want this guy. Or girl. You're putting in a Harley trade martial artist in with Derek Akora. Is that what you feel about them? Yes.

Yes, I am. Fair enough, then. Got Joe Rogan of the Jewel Rogan podcast. Okay. Oh, and they're incredibly skilled at making impromptu weapons. Oh. So that's actually, that's a good, I think. Jewel Rogen might get a bit annoying, but, you know, he could grab a staircase banister,

snap it in half, make a stabby implement. Yeah, no, that sounds like that's good. Yeah, actually, let's keep in mind. I know we said with the martial artist, oh, well, they can't do anything because you can't kick a ghost. But actually, Mikey did say that there's also goblins and axe murderers here. So, yeah, weapons and weapons. actual fighting skills do matter. So you've got Joe Rogan and a gorilla, potentially.

Yeah. We're getting strong. I feel like it'd be a worthy credit. He's not as bad as a ghost girl. Hmm. Are you going to keep him? I'd have him, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, why not? Go on. Well done, Joe. Of next we've got a vlogger. Oh, no. Da-da-da. But they have chainsaws for hands. How are they holding their selfie stick?

What an inspiration. I mean, maybe the vlog would be nice to get, you know, captured evidence. Chainsawers are good at killing things, but I also feel like they're quite big. So they could, they probably is going to inevitably kill someone by accident and not the one of the baddies. Hey guys. I just want to take a moment to say, do you use the internet without a VPN? Well, you should subscribe to, uh, go, VPN.com and use code

chainsaw hands for 50% off at checkout. That's all we would get all day, all night. Yeah, I don't want this person anywhere near me. No. I'd rather have Derek Cora. Well, he's off. I'm sorry he's gone. You struck him off. He's crying in the corner now.

All right, well, the vlogger's out. Okay, so currently we have four people out and three people in. Okay. So we've got seven choices left Right We need to pick four

Do we have Yeah Yeah Yes indeed Got an unwieldy ferret Who Oh and they're able to communicate with spirits Oh perfect

Oh it's Jeff It is Jeff Yeah we got a little Jeff Yeah I don't know how It's not Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff Jeff's actually in the name bucket as well Oh

It's just another Another small animal You tell me we can have an animal Animal army. Yeah, a gorilla. Ferret, Joe Rogan. Yeah, that's up the ferret. Yeah, I won't.

Obviously, the downside of the ferret is that I can't talk, but I feel like it would have a way of showing you that they're communicating. Yeah, if it's on our team, it would be friendly, right? Yeah, absolutely. It would communicate with the ghosts in a friendly way. Yeah. I think if you see a ferret in a corner and it's fur is moving about, you know, oh, it's found a ghost and it's distracting them for us.

Yeah, there you go. Thank you, Ferret. You've saved our skin. We've got a possessed doll, a la Chucky. But if we don't choose them, they'll chase us around the haunted house all night and spite. Oh, no. Do we know what they can offer us?

Nothing, absolutely nothing. They're just small and spooky. Other than... So I guess the choice is we either pick them and then we can sort of carry them around with us and they might only just sort of creepers out a bit or if we don't pick them they will hunt us down I don't think we pick them

we've got a gorilla I'm not going to give into that kind of pressure you know oh wow wow I want to pick them because we've got the likes of a gorilla like the gorilla can keep him in check and I feel like we can only say no to two things and I'm worried about what else is coming up well Chuck is the answer to the next question for me that we've got and so I just don't like I just don't want to spend

any more time with him than I have to you know yeah I think possessed all is genuinely little dicks yeah they are but he'll just chase us if we say no well what if we destroy it yeah maybe we will I don't know I think Mike you've got the deciding vote there I'm going to say no to

just to see what kind of pickle we get into. Okay. All right. Okay. So we've got one, two, three, four, five. Okay, five out and four in. Next up. A kidded out, remote control robot.

So it's got like little webcams on it, little microphones. So essentially it's another set of eyes and ears that you can safely put into a room. But every time it sees a ghost, it farts. But they spend the entire night screaming in fear. Okay. A little robot goes in a room Just like, ah! I can cope with that.

I think that would be a fantastic distraction. Yeah? I think, yeah, because it's not going to act. Like, you're in control of it at least. You're in control of the robot. It's not just going to run around and do it to one thing. And the fact is, if that trait had been given to any other of the characters so far, like a living creature,

that would be way worse than just a robotic scream, I think. I think, actually, that work as a distraction as well. You can't just send the screaming robot into another room and there you go. You've distracted all the months of. Let's have it. Yeah. Okay.

Next up we've got a monkey. Another monkey. But they're a baby. That's it. That's all there is doing. Which one are they, Mikey? You're going to have to help us out here. Is it a monkey or is it a baby?

It's a baby monkey. Oh. Well, that would be nice. No. It might give the gorilla something. to, you know, help. No, we don't want the gorilla distracted from its bloodthirsty task. Oh, true.

Well, I might get very protective of the baby monkey, though, so... What, so you're proposing throwing the baby monkey into rooms and having the gorilla charging after it. Okay. Is there a human baby inside the monkey suit doing sign language, is my question. Is that useful? I don't know. I just need, I want to be informed, that's all.

I think there's an exceptionally high chance that. The guerrilla Dick Michinko is going to accidentally kill this baby monkey at some point. Yeah. Yeah. So is that an argument for or against? No, I don't want the dead monkey, baby monkey on my hands. If you say no, we have to have the next two. Yeah, I know.

I'm kind of excited, though. Okay, let's do that then. Let's really roll the die. Dicer. Okay, well, good. You've got an evil Nazi scientist. Oh, okay. But they're obnoxiously streaming the entire thing on Facebook Live.

It's in Facebook trying to cramp down on this kind of stuff. Yeah. All right things. Oh, dear. Yeah, so it's just we're here in the house and we're going to do some evil experiments. We'll be all over the news tomorrow if we live and not for the right reasons. As long as in the background of every shot, we just say, shut up, ma. Shut on.

I might be able to hear him over the screaming robot, potentially. That's true. That's true. So you kicked out a vlogger in exchange for an evil Nazi. Yeah. Well, here we are. 2020. I think that's fair.

Oh, wait, hold on. Have I done these right? The last one should be Jeff the Mungoose, right? One, two, three, four, five, six. One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, wait, no. What? Okay, there's one left on each side, so.

Oh. You don't have to choose this next one. Oh, wait. Yeah, you're right. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Sorry, that was bad mass. Well, we've got the Nazi scientists now.

Okay, Nazi scientists is in. That's fine. It might have been me. I think I was the one who said we had to have the next ones. Oh, well, well, we've got it now. Okay, so the next one is, indeed, Jeff the Mungoose. Yeah. But they can only fight via rap battle.

Oh, excellent. You've got your pun master ghost hunter, and you've got your rapping mongoose. Are they going to want to initiate a wrap-off with a wrap-off with? someone that they can't see because they're in Jeff's presumably in the walls or behind bushes and stuff he's always on the other side of the hedge

you tap some out of Morse Corde I guess again it sounds like a great distraction true it does but again I quite like I quite like the danger of just not knowing what we're saying yes to if we say no to this okay let's do it let's roll those dice again

no we've already got a sort of ghostly mustillid, so we're fine, thank you very much. Yeah, the quarter's filled. Okay, we've got Luigi from Luigi's Mansion. Good. He's equipped with a Hoover and all that good stuff. The poltergast. The pol-ah, very good.

Oh, and they're able to see five minutes into the future. Oh, fantastic. That's a brilliant end one. Perfect. So I think Luigi's single-handedly saved us all there. Hmm. That sounds great. So can you go over our final team for us, please?

So we've got Dick Machinko, but they're a gorilla. A ghost hunter with 20 years' experience and lots of equipment who only speaks in bad puns. It's Luigi, isn't it? Very good. Joe Rogan, and they're incredibly skilled at making impromptu weapons. An unwieldy ferret, and they're able to communicate with spirits. Oh, it's going okay so far. A kidded out remote control robot, but they spend the entire night screaming in fear.

An evil Nazi scientist who, quite frankly, probably wasn't wanted, but he's in here, so we'll take him. But they're obnoxiously streaming the entire thing on Facebook Live. And lastly, you've got good old Luigi, Willis Hoover, and he's able to see into the future. I think, I think that's a survival night. I think you could do that. We've done okay. Sounds perfect to me. But I'm going to run through the losers to see how bad it could have been.

A ghost girl who's incredibly stoned all the time. Yeah, that would have been no help. Derek Acora, who's wielding two machetes. Terrible, terrible. A highly trained martial artist, but when they see a ghost, they let out a very smelly fart. I count that as a neutral one myself. A vlogger, but they have chainsaws forehands.

A possessed doll, but if you don't choose them, they'll chase us around the haunted house, haunted house all night long. We do have that. We do have that, but not. on our side, sadly. A monkey, but they're a baby, whatever that means. And Jeff the mongoose, but they can only fight fire a rat battle.

I think out of the selections there, you've done quite well, actually. I think well done, you've survived the night. Yes. Oh, yes. Perfect. Excellent. Thank you so much. The prize is you now get to live in this haunted house with all these people.

Oh, what a prize. Oh, lovely. Thank you very much, boys. Thank you, Mikey. This question comes from Specky, Becky, at Becky. Will Kieson on Twitter. What horror movie icon do you think you could take in a fight? And your answer is Chuckie.

Chuckie's just a little wooden piece of shit, isn't he? Like if just one on one, you know, take him out of his psychological hide everywhere, jump out of closets situation. Fucking fight me, Chuckie. He's just shit, isn't he? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any sort of supernatural abilities other than being a living doll like I don't think he can

sort of levitate stuff or I think he has to physically run over to the other side of the room and grab the kitchen knife and run back at you and stab you sort of thing like I don't think he as far as I remember

he can't do ghost magic yeah he's just a knife wielding little boy one on one mortal combat style fight I would just I would rip that fucker apart no no questions asked

piece of shit I really I think he could do that just yeah one good solid punt, discompobulate, and then bam, rip out, rip up his head. I'll tell you who I could take in a fight. Jigsaw from Saw. Yes, he's shit. He's got a fucking brain tumour.

Oh, my goodness. I can say that, because my mum had one, and then he took it out. Thank goodness. But, hey, that guy. I thought you're going to say that because it's a fictional character, but. Yeah. Really shit. I was going to go for the more simple he has, he's on three wheels.

He can't even ride around. a ghost boy on... No, I'm talking about the one line in the hospital bed saying if you want to save your son you know, fuck you. What a dick. But if you take on Jigsaw

do you have to also take on one of his awful rooms? Hopefully not. I think I just go to the hospital and turn the machine off. Just turn off the dialysis machine. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, wow.

Mikey? I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I would. I think I could do the leather face from Texas Chainsaw Massacre Oh my God, really?

Okay, explain that He's quite a slow lumbering being Isn't he? But he does have incredible strength Maybe I didn't think this true I don't know I just think Maybe I'd just like run up to and rip off his mask

And chase him No, no, I haven't thought this one through it all No, I think he'd just rip me into pieces I think he would, yeah The girl from the ring I'd call her name I'd set us some homework and that would be

but yeah I guess the easy thing with the girl in the ring is just don't watch the video Yeah And then you win Yeah I don't have a VHS player So take that Oh God you fucking got her

What about a mogwai from Gremlins Just literally don't get it wet Or feed it after midnight And you win Or have a fight with it And very easily win I think yeah The problem with them

gremlins is just the number of them isn't it but i've got i've got five gremlins in this room right now and i've managed it fine for several years easy pizzie bam there we go are you ready for my thing yes please this one is about skeletons so it's very spooky and it comes from bbc.co.uk forward slash news forward slash world hyphen Asia hyphen

231 24347 Okay that's one of the scarier numbers It is This is actually a story

that's clearly done the rounds God a long time ago but it recently popped up for me This is from the 1st of July 2013

And it says Vietnam War veteran reunited with long lost arm Oh wow A former North Vietnamese soldier has been reunited

with his arm after more than 40 years. Nguin Kuang Hung, I think, fought during the Vietnam War and had his arm amputated by U.S. Army Dr. Sam Axelrad, which is a great name, in 1966 after his arm caught gangrene. Dr. Axelrad kept the bones of the arm as a reminder of the good deed

he had performed by treating an enemy soldier. He began a quest to track down the owner of the arm in 2012, meeting Mr. Hung on Monday to return his bones. I'm very happy to see him again and have that part of my body back after nearly half a century, Mr. Hung said. My arm bone is evidence of my contribution to the war. I will keep it in my house,

in the glass display cabinet, he said, adding that he hoped the arm would help him claim a veteran's pension as his army fathers had been lost. That's very sad. Wow. Wait, so hang on. The guy with one arm is saying, hey, can I have a veteran's pension?

They're like, no. And he's like, but I lost my arm. They're like, no, you'd prove it. Show us the arm. Yeah. Imagine him coming in the office one day, slamming it down the table. There's your bloody proof. Give me my fucking pension.

The next sentence reads, He also plans to be buried with his bones. Okay. How unusual. Dr. Axelrad said he was unbelievably happy to be able to return the arm. When I amputated his arm in 1966, our medics took the arm, took the flesh off it,

put it back together perfectly with wires, and then gave it to me, he said. When I left the country six months later, I didn't want to throw it away. I put it in my trunk and brought it home, and all these years it has been in my house, he added. In 2011, he returned to Vietnam and tried to find the man whose arm he had amputated, a move he later said would help provide closure.

A local journalist wrote about his mission, and the news eventually reached back to Mr. Hung. When he heard he would get his arm back, he said he really could not believe it. I can't believe that an American doctor took my infected arm, got rid of the flesh, dried it, took it home, and kept it for more than 40 years, he said. I can't believe it either. That is kind of horrible. Are you allowed to do that?

You're allowed to take people's limbs, strip it of flesh, and then... What are the rules in war? I don't know. Surely that's like against the Geneva Convention. You're not allowed to take any arms home with you. You would have thought that's a basic one. A basic one there. He added later that he considered himself very lucky...

Excuse me, very lucky compared to many of his comrades who died in the war. And then it goes on to give a fact about the Vietnam War, which obviously was not a great war, not as with most wars. But yeah, there we go. The man got his arm back. Aren't you supposed to imprison unarmed soldiers? Oh, fuck it old. Fucking oh, fucking oh, fucking oh.

Goodness of me. Fuck it all. Anyway, that was both thing. There we go. Very good. I was just still reveling in the fact that just imagine being a doctor taking someone arm and just taking it for yourself. That's just mad.

What? I would not want to look that man in the face after what he's done. I mean, at least after, what, 50 years he came to his sentence. He's like, I should probably return this. No, just decided to hold on to it. It's his now. It's his arm. The final question comes from Kieran Marshall

at Sure One Kern 229 on Twitter. If you could make everyone in the world scared of the same thing apart from you, what would it be? It says you're immune to the phobia, even if it's something really scary like spiders or Tories or Tory spiders, it says. Oh, money. Why would you want to make everyone except you afraid of something genuinely scary?

I'd want to make people scared of like fucking spitting in the street or littering or something like that, like, you know, just to make everyone stop doing it. Yeah, well, that's the thing. It's a double-edged sword, isn't it? Because you don't want to make people scared of something that, you know, if you're the only person who's not scared of it, say, for example, I want everyone to be scared of chocolate so I can have all the chocolate.

There just won't be any more chocolate because everyone's scared of it, so you won't get any. I think I would make everyone scared of horses so I can be like the fucking fearless horse guy. Actually, that's fair. Horses are terrifying to begin with, so I think you're just giving a higher percentage of popular. the fear of horses, yeah.

Would you ride a horse around through the daytime? Would you make people quiver in your presence as you gallop up on your, there would be like a tiny little pony? I'd be a proper Vladimir Putin, you know, riding around shirtless on a horse. And people were like, holy shit. Have you guys seen Horse King on Netflix? It's fucking crazy how he keeps all those horses. And I'll be like, yeah.

That's the thing. Yeah, you could do really well. You could have like a Vegas show or something. Keep that fucking thing away from me Yeah, it'd be like being Steve Irwin or something But like with horses or you could even do it with like kittens or something Make everyone terrified of kittens Imagine if you were the only guy who had cats

You just sit in a box full of cats And everyone's like oh my God, what a daredevil You could go all over the world and make millions Just sitting in a box with cats But then the question is Will we have had thousands of years of domesticated felines slash domesticated horses to come before or would I have to start from scratch

and that people are just terrified of horses and maybe have hunted them to extinction or something, you know? Yeah, maybe actually. It's a real tricky, tricky Richard. Are you happy to carry on the horse lineage forever, Ben? You're going to be a full-time horse breed to ensure the world stays populated and filled with horses. I think I'd have one.

I think I'd just have one horse. And when it dies, I'll be like, that was it. That's all you fuckers get. now the world is essentially back to normal as it was before we were asked this question but with no horses anymore do you guys remember that fucking horse guy holy shit that was crazy I'm glad it's dead though

that thing was terrifying do you think it would extend to things like donkeys or would everyone be absolutely fine with like just you know mules yeah zebraes fine all fine of those the moment it looks remotely like a horse it's too much it's way too much

Do you know how many colours there are, Peter? That's horrifying. Whoa, yeah. What about you, Mikey? I'm desperately thinking at the minute. I can't. What's, I'm, I don't, I, uh, no. Oh, well.

Um, I don't think if there's any other, any. I'm scared of the dark, maybe. Oh, okay. Does that be nice if, because I'm already, I'm actually a bit spooked of the dark myself. but if I know in complete certainty that no one else is going to be out there in the dark, I'm no longer going to be scared of it. Also, I mean, night time's very quiet.

It means I can just run rampage on the streets. It's my time. Like Ben, I could be the night warrior. Oh, yeah, you could. You could be Batman. Yeah, there you go. Or, like, the councils will take matters into their own hands and constantly have loads of floodlights everywhere.

Oh, true. Which, and then, even then, there's someone who's a bit scared the dog, that'd be even better. Yeah, maybe that's a full package. And yeah, I just, I wanted to be able to go for nice nighttime walks and not feel scared. Yeah, you deserve that. Yeah, I deserve a night time walk without the fear of murder. Right, you, Peter.

Maybe it'd make everyone really, really scared of dying, but I wouldn't be, so, you know. Oh, wow. That sounds a little dangerous. It doesn't sound like it lived very long. no i'm not saying it would make me um reckless i just you know like i think if the moment that people that someone um i think a lot of like older people when they reach kind of 60 70 80 they sort of come to terms with death in a way that younger people when they look at them they don't understand they're like how can you how can you feel like if you died tonight you would be totally fine with it like

I'm not saying I'm necessarily scared of dying but I really don't want to die right now like I feel like I've got a lot of stuff I still want to do whereas if I was able to snap my fingers it's not so much that I want to make everyone else scared of it but part of the question was that I would no longer be scared of it

so you know it'd be nice just to live life thinking okay well you know I've had a great day if I don't wake up in the morning never mind that's it never mind that's the thing with all people that have heard that and like interviews and stuff and documentaries It's like, you get to an age where you just kind of like, I've had enough of this.

Yeah. I'm ready. I've done everything I want to do. Just let me go. So you just, you've reached that at the tender young age of, I'm 20. How old are you, Peter? 28. Oh, ain't you?

Ready to die. There's got to be like some major repercussions there of making the entire population of earth. Scared of death. Oh, yeah. We're talking like super religion of some kind. Yeah. of really, really traumatized and upset old people as they creep

ever closer. Oh, God. Yeah, that's not great. They no longer have that coming to terms with death thing. Oh, no. They get more and more scared. Oh, my God. One comfort at the end of your life was that chance that you'll become like at one with death and

you've taken that away from a new monster. Yeah, just so I don't have a bad time. A selfish choice there. Jesus Christ. Millions and billions of people will die in fear Happy Peter And if they come at me Because they're angry

That I've changed the world in that way Let them kill me I don't care Whatever But won't them killing you Also be scary to them Because that's death Maybe

Yeah maybe they're scared Of death Generally speaking No one would eat anything Oh no What does it mean What does it mean Well there we go

Everybody That was spooky It's three We hope you enjoyed it Thank you so much For listening And coming along Store.orgscast.com if you would like to buy some Poddietz slash Vidyets merch. Isn't that right, Mikey?

That's completely right. You could store some spooky drinks in your Vidyat's mug, sorry, or splatter some blood on your Poddiet's t-shirts. And best of all, if you use code Vidyots at checkout, you'll get an extra spooky 10% off everything on the Yogcast store. So you could buy some sharky socks, some gin. You can have a wild night in, naked with your socks and your gin. Or you could just buy loads of our stuff, which would be great. Thank you. I'd remember 10% off with code Vidiots.

Vidiates. Incredible. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook.com forward slash vidiots official. Also Twitch.tv.tv. We stream from time to time. Mikey streamed recently, so go check those out. Streamlabs.com forward slash. Podiot's donations. Donate

£3 or more to get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast and join Pod Squad and support us financially. We'll love you forever. If you're just listening for free, we love you very much. If you donate money to us, we'll love you just that little bit more. Mikey.

It's true. And our spooky pod squad this week consists of Stephen Scodes. My fingers are really gross. Hulk Wogan, Wendy Miller, Samuel de Barber. Titty Jesus 42. Jizzle MacCandle spook.

Monster trucker fucker. Spooky Edward Jizzahans. Awful Fox 42 is sad. Nip, nop, willie wamp, give Ben a bone. Jiggly linear, you can't say, puff. Lord Brotovic, but spooky. And the ever generous. I miss German robot lady.

Ah! Angosty! That's not a name. That's just me getting gas out. Spooky. Evan from Calcon. Kermit the Pog. Polly's spooky poopums, the exorcism of Emily Lemons

and the generous Trunters discount Foicegrass. Voice grass. Foice grass. Spookum to spook. Arse face, but spookier. Spook-Alicious.

Yeah, that's right. I'm changing it. Crooks Randy Ravioli fetish. Crook's Ravilely Fettish. Spooky Becky. Chav Chavremeraz. Frewd Weber loves Halloween. Little Dick Butter 24 Alan Claw

Den the Man Loves Ben Donner C-07 Ye oldie mercenary prostitute The very generous Ooh Oh no

Bella The artful jammy dodger Nuky cat Spooky Cat and Booby Cat Finn Tristam And the Hoops The stupidly generous

Dave Bacon Phillips You stupid Stupid Thank you for being so stupid A very generous donation That's actually someone's name Prince Beefcakes And Big Titty Jesus, 42

Uncle Foucault's family feedback Feed bag, sorry Would you like a question, no Rip Russian Peasant Woman's Vag I listen to this while driving Don't hire cheap hitmen Reheated Chicken Takeaway The Cuntiots

Paying Mikey a Visit Loll And finally Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben's Hasty Diatribe The very generous Breeze Block Wank sock Freddie Weber is stingy, the very generous, a succulent Chinese Mao, chinko is Japanese for Dick, thank you for the donation,

big titty Jesus 42, and gooey bug spartoon, and also the additional one that came in at the last minute, XXPoop 69420X. Thank you so much, everybody. You're incredible. Your support means the world to us. Streamlabs.com forward slash potty at Stonations if you'd like to sign up for the next shows.

Pod Squad, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Mikey, where can people find you? I'm at Parraboy on the Twitters, where I post all of my doings and goings. That's where I usually post stream updates, also on the video's Twitter. So if you want to see some pictures of ferrets and other fun things, go follow me on there. Beautiful.

And Peter, where can people find us? We are on Twitter at That Peter Austin and at Confused underscore dude, but also at Team Triple Jump, where we're also on YouTube and Twitch at Team Triple Jump, doing content, video game content, things like Rules Boss and Prove It and Worst Games Ever, we're not doing some of those at the moment because COVID, but normally that's what we would be doing and there's a back catalogue fee to check out if you've still not gone over there to see what we're doing. Thank you very much. Finally, leave us an iTunes review or a review slash rating on your platform of choice. It helps something to do with Al Gore's

spooky rhythms. Do we have a final spooky question for this? The third edition of Spooky It's. Oh, goodness me. Oh, my. No. Okay. That's the spookiest question of all is the absence of a question. For the first time, we don't, we just don't have one.

So, would you fuck the monster from the Black Lagoon? You know, that's what I was going to ask, actually. So, yeah, that's exactly what I was going to ask. Brilliant. Give us a yes or no. There we go. Thanks so much for listening. everybody. We will see you again next time. Bye. Bye.