Podiots - Spookiots: Episode 88 - Who Was Phone?!

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

Mikey's touring fearsome beasts, Peter's found the best kids' horror stories around, and Ben has a really stupid game. Donate £3 or more to get a shoutout and join the Pod Squad! - https://streamlabs.com/podiotsdonations/   New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord   Ben and Peter's channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Maybe it's Mabelaine is such an iconic piece of music. Hit the track. Everyone in the studio that I worked on this jingle with all had like childhood stories or memories. Yeah, we're around either watching these commercials on TV

or sitting with our moms while they were doing their makeup and it became really personal for us. Maybe it's Maple Lane. Maybe it's Maple Lane. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Spooky Spooky. Oh, Spooks.

A spooky sale has been made this Halloween. Oh, emphasis on the poo in spooky. Oh, it puts the poo in spooky. A thoroughly used spook purchase. But did you guys do it? Guys, I have to know, did you do it? Did you get it? Did we do it?

Did you do it, guys? Did it happen? Did you get it? I had someone tweet me like a week after it was sold, and we'll give you context in a minute for those of you don't know what we're talking about, saying, you guys have to get this. It was sold a week for God's sake. What do you want me to do about it?

But what was it and who was it sold to? well what was it you've clearly not listened to the previous episode of the excellent poddy it's podcast in the previous episode we talked in the intro I think about how Dave Benson Phillips beloved children's TV presenter and Portal goblin

has been on eBay he's had a bit of a clear out he was selling a badge with his face on it which was bought by Kieran the editor at Triple Jump some VHS of a bridge too far and like I don't know west side story or something but most importantly two toilet seats one of which was it was boring and white and wrapped up in plastic and had

never been used the other was musical in its image it wasn't some sort of magical like the one from the simpsons in japan it wasn't one of those but it had music notes on it and it was decidedly used. It had some considerable use. Considerable use. That was the terminology. Yeah. Mikey, what happened? Well, Ben took part in what was a surprisingly ferocious bidding war with someone else for this toilet seat. If it was one of you fuckers, I swear to God. We were in the middle of recording or we'd just finished recording our podcast for Triple Jump and the camera was right there and I really wish now that I'd just gone and hit record and like captured the moment because it was It was really intense

There were like minutes left And it was going up And up and up And we were going What's our budget 60, I'm going to put 60 quid No no Oh

Someone's just bid 62 quid 80 Should we put 80? No, I don't know It was really Got me going That was intense But yeah

After well It started off in like The 10 pound mark And we were like pretty confident That's only getting Go up a little bit more It hit the lofty heights After a ferocious battle

It went on for hours Of I think it was 70 pounds 65 maybe 65 plus a 10 of postage yeah yeah and by by God's graces

you boys are in the presence of Dave Benson Phillips his actual used toilet seat we got it we got it everyone got him boys we got Dave Ben he asked us to leave

him out of it and he sold us his toilet seat we bought his to use toilet seat decidedly the least least leaving him out of it that we've ever done. This is the peak of leaving him out of it. There's nowhere to go from here. This is it, yeah.

The next thing we might have to do is actually leave him out of it. That might be the next step. I think we need to call off for it. You know, when you commit our big crime, and you need to lay low and let the heat die off for a bit. I feel like that's what we need to do with Dave Benson Phillips. Yeah. We're not leaving him out of it for a while, though.

We're looking into the logistics now. The intention of, well, the intent of purchasing this was not only for the lulls. but also because we want to sell it for charity. Yes. So very soon, hopefully there will be an auction available on Electronic Bay where you can bid to buy Dave Benson Phillips considerably used toilet seat that hopefully all three of us have signed. And it's also got an accompanying signed photo from Dave Benson Phillips

that says, thank you for buying my loose seat. Yes. Ben was in touch with Dave via eBay And it was kind of There's layers to this though Because it was Ben that was talking to him

It was Andrew It was Andrew My pseudonym So Ben's eBay account Doesn't have his name on it It's like a It's just a kind of internet It's a screen handle thing

Yeah Yeah And we didn't want Dave to know That we weren't leaving him out of it And we thought he might he might recognize the name Ben if it's signed from Ben. Or triple jump. Or triple jump, possibly.

So Ben had the excellent idea of picking a different name, a pseudonym, but better yet, a name that means that Dave would be able to send the toilet seat to Triple Jump Towers and it would be received by an actual member of staff. So Andrew was chosen, Andrew Hockinson, from Cold to Holt. Holy boy. And I actually have some footage of Andrew opening his toilet seat, not knowing what it was. He didn't know it was coming. I just messaged. I just messaged. Hey, just so you know, there's a toilet seat coming soon. Andrew doesn't know. But if you could just give him a tap on the shoulder and say, hey, that's not actually for you. No. Thanks. Thank you to Dan and Joel for

for us. Yes. Thank you. I didn't know you told them to tell him it wasn't for him. I told I told Owen. I think Owen passed it on because he was off that day. Yeah, I wasn't sure that anyone would be there to explain what was happening. And I thought, I don't want Andrew to get excited and think that someone has sent Dave's toilet seat to him. So I was also present just to make sure he didn't get his hopes up. But it came with a photo that had Andrew's name on it and was signed. Yeah, he said three signed photos. Because he couldn't get the Sharpie to stick to the actual.

seat. Yeah, I asked to sign the toilet seat and he couldn't do it. Yeah. He couldn't get a stick. So we might struggle. We might struggle to get a Sharpie that writes on it. We'll work it out. Yeah.

Maybe the underside will be better than the top side or something. Or we'll also sign Dave Benson Phillips headshot. Yeah. Thanks for buying our Lou seat. So Andrew didn't go home empty handed. He got the signed photo from Dave that said best wishes Andrew. And but there is also a separate one that says thanks for buying my toy. Let's see.

A photo of authenticity, if you like. That will be included in the auction. A couple of mysteries still remain, though. Yeah. One of which is who the fuck was bidding on it? Yeah, was it one of the person? Yeah, like one of our theories is that it's one of you who thought it would be funny just like us to bid on it

with the intention of then sending it to us as a joke. That's part of, that's my number one theory. So if you were bidding on it, for God's sake, and also please come forward. Yeah, we'd love to know. Please let us know. But we are in possession of it. Stay tuned to social media.

The best part about that is that if someone else was bidding on it in order to send to us, between us, we massively inflated the price of that toilet seat. It could have been a single bid. And that would have been enough. It was all over Twitter with videos of the toilet seat. Like, just what, I want to go on the auction? I know.

We were sitting there doing our podcast like, no, Dave, stop. Dave's like, this has had some very famous bums on it, this toilet seat. There's a video of him on his Twitter account. And my phone's blowing up like, you've been out bid. You've been out bid. No, no. Stress.

No. But boy, do I have egg on my face? Because this time last episode I was saying, Dave doesn't know how eBay works. You know, he's set up all these automatic reserves and none of my offers. It's not going to go for 25 pounds, Dave. It went for way more than that. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Can't wait to see the appearance of more pissy toilet seats on his eBay store after this roaring success. We're going to pick a charity. We haven't decided yet, but look out for this eBay listing soon. Come a bid on it. Raise money for a good cause. I think we'll probably have to limit it to the UK for obvious reasons.

But yeah, do come and splash your cash. I find it difficult to imagine. an American is going to want to buy Dave Benson I don't know someone might but it'll be signed by all four of us so there we go wow and with that

it's time to move on to the annual episode of Spookier's Oh Hello Hello everybody and welcome to Spookiots, the official Spooky It's Spookcast. It's a conversational spook cast where we take some spooksions from you at Spook and obey the law of the three spooks, where everybody spooks are spook long, a spookal

To spook, spook about. I'm spooker. I'm spooker. And I'm spookle. Brilliant. Hi, Spooker and Spookle. Spooker and Spookle. I'm feeling fully spook now.

I feel especially bad. I feel especially bad about that terrible opening there, given the ridiculous amount of money that we have been very generously gifted. Oh, it's obscene. It's actually obscene. We'll get on to that in a minute. But this is Spooky It's. We do one Spooky It's a year.

It's the one time of the year when Poddietz goes spooky. It's not really. Mikey tends to talk about serial killers and stuff. There's no hard and fast rule But I don't know about you two boys But my thing is spook related Oh my thing's absolutely spook related Mine's pretty spooky as well

Excellent We've got a series of spook questions as well Follow us at Viddi, it's official If you want to submit your questions for the podcast But just keep an eye out for the podcast post And to go up a couple of days before we record Which is a week before the episode releases But it is time to talk about

Pod Squad or Spook Squad I suppose You, very generous, lovely lot can support us financially, should you so wish, and allow us to buy toilet seats from beloved children's entertainers like Dave Benson Phillips. If you go to streamlabs.com forward slash poddy, it's donations and donate three pounds or more. You get a shout out at the beginning and the end of the podcast. You join Pod Squad and we'll love you forever because you're amazing. Absolutely. Mikey, do you want to kick us off?

I would absolutely love to enter the Spook Squad. We start with Grandma's scary, hairy kisses Katie Kin Solo Ben's number one fan The very generous Swarthy Mofo

and they say Boys, it's happened I've turned 30 Big shout out to my amazing partner Megan whom I love so much had made my day truly amazing Last year she got me a shout out for my birthday

and it was featured on episode 62 Also, Ben, you need to discuss game perves. I don't know what that means. Game pervs. I'm not sure I know what that means either. Tweet me, swarthy mofo. And give me some context. Let us know what these perves, pervy mean.

Oh, thank you very. I'm just spate in that word. Yeah. Happy birthday. The big three. You'll hope you had to did something magical. Very happy birthday. Incredible.

Goose bumps number two. fan Doddak 07 The Walking Cheggs and Jesus The Walking The Walking Chegs is very good

And a big big fucking fuck off drum roll for Red Rumweth who has given us just the most stupendest spooky donation I've ever seen

Holy hell Thank you so much I don't even know what to say Thank you Red Rumweth Thank you so much Mikey's going to check in with you and just make sure that that's correct

You put an extra digit in by accident And they say Happy Halloween To all you friendly ghosts or ghouls or others Red one Thank you so much Absolutely ridiculous But yes I'll be in touch to verify this donation

And also maybe to sort you out some free stuff Because you're a very good bean Yes thank you Mr. Blakula. In fact, Redd just bought a toilet seat. Congratulations, yeah. We value the toilet seat at that many pounds.

Yes. Mr. Blacula. Very good. Dave Benson Phillips only fans. Oh, no. Spooky Becky. The generous Chav Chav Chavramirez. Chav Chav Chavramarez.

Chav Chavramarmererz. Ramirez, they say, Ben summoned me last episode. I have always been here. Some of my donations were silly names, but I would never stop listening to you guys. I've been on this ride since episode six. Thank you, boys, for always bringing a smile to people's faces.

Oh, thank you, chap, chap, chap. That's the thing you were... Yeah, sorry. You don't always see some of the regulars because they're hiding behind names like The Walking Checks. That's true. Who are you, The Walking Cheggs? Come forward.

Chap Chav Ramirez was one of our first supporters on Patreon, on Triple Jump. We used to talk to them during our Discord calls. Yeah. And then they went away and they still show up in poddios and that's amazing. Still here, they can never leave. That's the thing of poddits and viduets. You can't, once you're indoctrinated, that's it. You stuck here for life.

Stuck here forever, man. Next up is pro trainer. Kewi. Bartek, Vantzak, blad pudding. Is that supposed to be a bartec vansack blad pudding? No, that's not supposed to be a naughty, naughty word. I don't think so. I don't think so. The word sack threw me off.

I thought, I'll go, hold on. Sack is inherently disgusting. Thank you. And lastly, spookalicious. Thank you all very much. In the spooky troupe this month, this fortnight, whatever it is, Stephen Skodes Goey Bug Spittoon

Spoopy Sparry Spelletons Chegwin's spooky knob Dave Bitcoin Phillips Funding bum-related purchase Who was very generous And said Shredders, toilet seats

What's next? Shreddies I did shred those shreddies Oh the name makes more sense now there They are funding Bomb related purchases You did it

You all did it. I've got it. I worked it out. Chegwinstein's monster. Lord Spookovic. Fuck Spooks. It's Rocktober, who is very generous and said, this free entertainment is worth the monies.

Oh, thank you very much. Thank you. Sir Windpipes the Loud. Berries and cream for Ben. Hashtag I Stand with Caroline. Simon Miller barely knower. Finn Tristam Spooky Donation Name

and Caroline's Shagging Me Now Soz Oh, Caroline We've also got War Podiat's shirt To Synagogue So let me a second to decipher Rad

Prince Beefcakes Big Fanny Buddha 69 The very generous Long Tim first time DJ JPEG Who said you've helped me get through college, post-college depression, getting married, my wife leaving me, more new depression, finding two new jobs, and now complacency.

Bumpiss can get you through a lot. Waris Clan for Life, thank you for being there. Oh, that's me. It's quite the roller coaster, but I hope you're doing okay at the moment. Yeah, right, right, right, this big sunny wave. It's going to be gall gravy. Thank you very much. It is.

It is. Gravy, gravy wave. Ryan made the tiger cry Raindrop joy but spooky Half the house Fuck you Caroline Caroline I was wrong sorry Caroline I had loft converted

Wow what a rich tapestry Slightly used toilet paper Cuntifer Cobumbus Oh Don't go back Caroline You too good for him Lord Dabba, tell Dabba friends Just keep swimming, ash

I'm in trouble tubs I'm in trouble tubs Rice poofs or sugar queers And Rami Malik looks like Tiny Pete And there we are Who's Rami Malik That's a good guy to look like He's handsome boy

Oh yeah, yeah A little bit, yeah, I'll see it There we go That's your Pod Squad Thank you so much everyone you're obscenely generous. Thank you for being here with us on the first episode. First episode? Fourth episode of Spook-Eats, I think. Because someone just replied to our Dave that we put out saying, oh, fourth episode of Spook-Eats. I think someone did actually, yeah.

There we are. I like how the Caroline tale has become a kind of community work now. It's collaborative fiction. Yeah, that's great. It's definitely more than one person contributing now. The unraveling of this man who misses Caroline very much. But there we are. First question comes from David Lever at Dalek Platypus Who asks?

If we if Fuck If you were a ghost Who would you haunt and why You can also go and haunt Davey BP Whenever you want as a bonus Just for fun

It's very kind Thanks David Who would you haunt If you were a ghost Why would you do it You've got to decide though Do you go down the path Of a mild nuisance

Or a right twat of a ghost Yeah, I'm trying to decide who... Well, it's not necessarily who deserves it But who'd be most fun to watch suffer a little bit Yeah, you don't want to be... I wouldn't want to be associated Because it's sort of a punishment, isn't it? Being haunted by a ghost.

I guess so, it's a lot of baggage. Yeah, the people who deserve haunting are probably not very nice people But then is it not technically then a punishment for you because you have to constantly be around a horrible person that you then call? But then if you're making that person's life miserable, is that a kind of treat? Maybe I'm just a bad boy who like saying bad people suffer, but my mind, maybe because

it's bake-off season, but my mind went straight to Paul Hollywood's. And I'd just, whenever he put something in the oven, I'd slightly open the door a little bit as he left. So how you come back to like a deflated loaf or whatever. Love that. That would ruin him. What do you think, Peter? Who would you haunt?

I don't know. I'm trying to, I mean, yeah, it would be someone that I don't like, I guess. Oh, I wasn't saying, by the way, that I hate Paul Hollywood or anything. It's just... Oh, I do. Do you? Wait, what's what? I know Paul Hollywood dressed up as a Nazi several years ago, but... God, did he? Yeah. Yeah, for like a fancy dress party. So I don't know, I don't know if he's a naughty boy outside of that. I mean, hates a strong word, but what I don't like about Paul Hollywood, and I was having this discussion last night or the night before with Amy because she's watching Bake Off at the moment and I sort of see bits of it on the TV

when I'm like walking through the living room and what I fucking hate about it's not even necessarily Paul Hollywood's fault in and of itself but are you aware of the Hollywood handshake Ben? No, yeah. Sounds like a euphemism but it's

Paul Hollywood will go around all of the tables and he'll eat people's fucking soufflays and he'll stand there chewing it and he'll go Yeah, the texture is very good too And then out of nowhere If you're really, really, really lucky He'll suddenly reach his hand out

And shake your hand if it's good enough And if he does that Everyone in the room goes absolutely mad The all cheer and clap And it pisses me off It piss me off That someone could be that arrogant That they think or that they allow everyone else to think

that their fucking handshake counts for a round of applause. Like, fair enough if he says that's a great, that's the best souffle I've ever had. Like, that means something. But it just makes me sick when he reaches out, shake someone's hand, everyone goes, oh, well done, well done. Oh, my God, I'm so happy for you.

Oh, Jesus, I'm seething. If you went on the show, would you refuse it? Yeah, I would. I'd leave him hanging. Fuck you, Paul. Yeah. Paul, I just want you, is it good? Your bread.

Use your words Hollywood I would I would haunt Paul Hollywood's right hand and to the point that it eventually withers up and falls off I think Oh my God

If you'll allow me to also Hort Paul Hollywood Yeah why not Let's go for a double whammy That's like how much The most haunted man in England With his withered hand And soggy bakes

Is that why his eyes are so piercing He's just full of ghosts I would probably haunt. I'd have to do a bit of research first, but you know, what am I waiting on? I'm a fucking ghost. I've got all the time in the world. I would try and find the most, the person living the most interesting varied life possible, regardless of their transgressions. And I would haunt them. Not necessarily, like, you know, scare them. Not necessarily talking that. But I just want to follow them around and see what they get up. to go all over the world doing interesting things and seeing interesting stuff because I'm not going to get, let's be real, I'm not going to get to do that in my living life

I'm going to make internet videos until I die on the toilet or something after dominoes and so I want the experience of travelling the world and what better way than by just following someone who's fucking doing it baby. Yeah, it's living in a

chair actually yeah. You can like haunt like a rich person's pair of air pods and just do nothing and travel the world with them. Haunted air pod. You know they're just going to forget on a train or something. Oh, true, actually, yeah. That's it. Drop me down a drain and then it's gone.

Move on to the next pair of AirPods. Like, yeah, nothing. Yeah. Disgusting. Who's got a thing? I've got a thing. Oh, my God. What's your thing, Michael?

Oh, it's spooky. Oh, no. I've brought some spooks from over the ocean, over, actually depends on how you get there. I mean, I guess ocean is involved from all the way over in Japan. Whoa. Oh.

We've got some Japanese folklore and general urban myths. I'd just like to share them with you, if that's all right. That is all right. I think we all know a little bit about, you know, British mythology and folklore and stuff like that. So I've wanted to see how it differs across the, across the ways in other parts of the world. So I brought along a selection of otherworldly oddities for you all to gok at. Chocolate Grandma.

Chocolate Grandma. Oh, Chocolate Grandma. How we miss you. Sadly, nothing quite as delicious as Chocolate Grandma. Lots of words that I'm going to have trouble pronouncing, though. So have fun with that. That would be fun. Yeah.

We start with, okay. Kuchisake, Oner, I think. Yes, that sounds about right. And this is Kuchisake. The original story of Kuchasake owner comes from the hean period of Japan's history, roughly 12 to 800 years ago. It was a beautiful woman, either a wife or concubine, to a samurai. And she was extraordinarily vain.

She cheated on the samurai. And when he discovered her treachery, he slit open her mouth. from ear to ear and in this article it described it as giving her a Glasgow smile I'm pretty sure that's not

the terminology they use in traditional Japanese scripture No, probably not Glasgow smile Traditional Japanese Glasgow smile Yeah In Scotland they call it a Tokyo smile

They do So he slitter from ear to ear and asked her, Who will think you're beautiful now? A bit of an overreaction, if you're asking me. But that's the tale, that's the tale. Clearly it was acted as a cautionary tale for people to remain faithful.

And the story takes a creepy turn when the ghost of the woman began appearing in Japan in the 1970s. The story goes that a woman would appear to traveling people alone at night. The woman wore a surgical mask, not terribly uncommon in Japan, especially all nowadays, especially common, and would ask the traveller if they thought she was pretty, if they replied, no, she would kill them immediately, or at least slash their faces the same as hers, usually

with a long pair of scissors. But if the hapless victim said yes, you are pretty, she would remove the mask and ask how about now revealing her bloody gaping wounds and if the person said no at this second point she would again kill them slashing open their mouth if she gave them like a five minute calling off period yeah it's got you sure are you sure but this is where it takes a weird turn if however the person said yes again um this still would not be safe so if this is still think i'm pretty yep apparently that's that's not enough to to quell this beast she would then follow you home and kill them at just as they enter the threshold of their property oh god so you basically doomed if she asks you the question well you're going to die luckily you've got me

is your guide. So if you ever end up in Japan, here's what you should do if you encounter this terrible beast. The only way to survive the encounter with this ghoulish creature is to answer yes to the first question and so-so or average to the second time. Love that. So this causes the beast to pause and ponder the response giving the victim a chance to flee. From a ghost. Yes, from a ghost. You can follow you back to your threshold. Yes, apparently the rest of the time, the ghost can just, like, if you run away without answering the question, it'll chase you anyway.

But if you make it ponder and think, then it can't possibly chase you. Without the distraction, the victim cannot escape the ghost as she simply reappears before them if they try to run. And if you don't feel like, you know, calling a clearly scary ghost so so at average looking, you can also just distract them with money or hard can. Andy. Those are also valid, valid approaches. Give them a, give me the word of his original and send them on their way. Be gone, Spirit. But before you go, would you like a sweetie? Oh, come on.

Oh, it might not be very nice with you, you slit open mouth. Do you think I'm pretty now? Doesn't matter, have a sweetie. Oh, Grandma. My favorite bit about this was on the Wikipedia article about this, this bit of mythology. There's a flowchart for how a conversation might go with this piece. I'll paste it in the chat and I'll summarize it

for you all let me just Google Docs is being a beast so get ready for an ugly screenshot so it starts with a question it'll ask you am I pretty and it splits out to if you answer no

it will kill you with scissors but if you answer that first question with yes it takes off its mask ask how about now now, and if you say no to that, it'll cut you in half. And if you say yes to the second question, it'll slit your mouth to appear like hers. So I'd like to thank Wikipedia for putting together that brilliant, brilliant diagram.

Excellent flowchart there. They've still clicked, they've not clicked off the selection box on that screenshot. Look, it's got like a bounding box around the outside. Oh, so that's not Wikipedia. That's all me, sadly. That's my wonky screen. I will not have any bad words said again. Wikipedia. I thought they'd taken a screenshot of that.

No, no, no, Wikipedia standards are far too high for such nonsense. Absolutely. The next beast is the Kappa, which I thought was just a Twitchy moat. But it turns out there's more to Kappa than I thought. Kappa are usually seen as a mischievous troublemaker or trickster figures. Their actions range from the comparatively minor, such as looking up women's kimonos, if they venture too near to water, to the outright malevolence, such as drowning people and animals, kidnapping children, and at times eating human flesh. As with many creatures, both

mythical and real, the kappa doesn't always look exactly the same. But if you encounter a vaguely reptilian creature walking upright or hanging around in a body of water, you may be dealing with a kappa. I don't care exactly what it is. it's yeah before you run at least you can identify it yeah that's a caper they're the size

of a small child or large monkey what a strange metric of measure uncle fatty at least oh I don't know how I'd respond to like

Uncle Fatty emerging from a from a lake to greet me I grew up an arms give a banana and be on my way a size of a small child or large monkey with humanoid arms

and legs. Otherwise, they have mostly reptile and amphibian-like qualities. They have web digits for swimming and maybe scaly or slimy. They're reminiscent of a giant frog or turtle. Usually, they have something like a turtle shell on their back and a beaky sort of snout. And they're said to smell fishy and with often a bluish or greenest tint to their skin. But their most distinctive feature is the little, well at the top of their head from a distance you might look at them and think they've been inspired

by a monk with their hair cut they've got like kind of a ball cut in the center of the ball it's not just a ball patch ahead it's a divot almost a well where they retain water and this is more than just a fashion choice um this is one of their weaknesses oh so if you ever encounter a caper you can use this against it okay all of its power is stored in that very water bowl and its other weakness is that it's very, very polite. So if you happen to come across one, all you've got to do is bow to it, and it'll be compelled to do the same back.

And as a result, it'll tip out all the water from the top of its head, and you'll defeat the beast. In particular, they like challenging people to sumo matches. And of course, most sumo matches begin with some kind of bow or something like that. So, yeah, I mean, that's not a good hobby to have if when starting it could potentially kill you. But hey-ho, Kappa's be living their lives. But they're not just strange and dangerous creatures. They're also a little bit kinky.

Oh. Oh. They don't want to drown you just for the hell of it. They go after people because they want your Shirikadama. And this is a ball that is supposed. supposedly found inside the human anus. Oh, okay. The caper supposedly reaches into your bot bot with its hand to retrieve this precious item.

Or on occasion, if you're extra lucky, it'll suck it out. Oh, what? Is that lucky? That's not where I expected that sentence to go. Apparently, this, well, I mean, there's not really any clear definition of what this is and why it's in your bot bot, because it's all mythology and not real surprise. But a lot of people think it's like the human soul, which it feels like an interesting place to store the soul in one's bottom. And other people seem to think it's just the liver. Someone was definitely caught eaten ass at some point.

And that's how they explained it away. That's how they go away with it. It was a capper. You know what a capper is? It was trying to take my life essence by sucking on my ass. But that I would not be surprised if the origins lay within someone life. to cover up a sexual act. When you look in, like, there's a lot of art

surrounding the Kappa. I'm just going to send over my favorite piece. Ah, very good. This, this, I'm just to describe it for everyone before I send it. This is an art piece depicting someone attempting to catch a Kappa by luring it in. Can you guess how they're doing it?

Oh. Just showing their ars. Goodness, they're baiting it. Is that a little Wilkins? What'd you call? That is. A little Wilkins. Winky. Damn, he's thick.

That's a thick-ass boy. So this art depicts a very, very thick Japanese person, bending over. I've just seen the rest of it. There's a fucking bow and arrow suspended above. Yeah, is they going to like shoot it

as it reaches in to suck on the anus? Pretty much. That is the most mouse trap ass thing I've ever seen. Yeah, this is a piece of art depicting someone trying to catch a cap they are crout like bent over kind of doggy style heads looking through their legs looking behind them are presenting beautifully to the outside world and just behind their ass is like a contraption almost

like a tripod with a bow and arrow mounted on it ready to to kill the creature the second it goes near that big old bot please add that to the threads that's magnificent that is really good I'll do that after I've finished because I don't want to get distracted because oh god you stop looking at it It's hypnotic. Dummy thick trap there. I'm out of a thread now. Thank you, Peter. Next is Ashiara Yishiki.

The Ashiara Yishiki was a bizarre phenomenon which took place during the Edo period in the neighborhood known as Honjo. It is known as one of the seven wonders of Honjo. Long ago lived Hatamoto. Sorry, long ago lived A. Hatamoto, which is a high-ranking samurai named Argi. One night, at his manner, a loud, booming voice was heard.

It echoed like thunder, it said. Wash my foot! And just then, there was a splintering crack, and the ceiling tore open, and an enormous foot descended into the mansion. The foot was covered in thick, bristly hair and it was absolutely filthy. The terrified servants scrambled to gather buckets, water and rags.

They washed the foot until it was thoroughly clean and afterwards the giant foot ascended up through the roof and disappeared until the following night and every night thereafter the same thing occurred. What a nightmare scenario. A booming voice would demand its foot. be washed and a giant foot would come crashing through the youth and the dutiful servants would wash it clean every time without fail. A few nights of this was all that argy could take. He ordered his servants not to wash the foot anymore. I forbid you from scrubbing that dirty, dirty foot. That night,

the foot crashed through the ceiling and demanded to be washed as usual. When it was ignored, it thrashed around violently destroying vast swathes of the mansion's roof in the process. Arjie complained to his friends about the nightly visitor and the destruction it was causing and they were very interested

and one of them wanted to witness the event so badly that he offered to swap mansions with Arjie and he quickly agreed. However, after his friend moved in, the giant foot would never appear again. Spooky, spooky. That's a

sounds horrifying having something big and big from crashing through especially again in art i mean with all these the art depictions that are kind of like the true the true master behind them but with this it's just like a big stinky hairy foot exactly as you'd hope with concerned looking people doing their best to clean it it's absolutely magnificent and i've got one last um not japanese monster as in it as a little treat this will be a quickie uh we we take a a flight over to poland for the mighty and fearful window monster. Oh. Oh, here is a news article from earlier this year about the fearful beast.

And thank you to Bartek at Bartle Beebe on Twitter for sending this to me. Oh. The headline reads, Window Monster, outside Polish building turns out to be a croissant. Did we cover this? Oh. Did we already cover this? Yeah, I believe so.

Oh, no. Yeah. I think two of us brought the story as well. I think me is, that was the episode me and Ben had the same thing. Oh, no, that was the penis, the penis man. Oh, yeah, no, that was the penis man. I think we've spoken about the quasson. Quasson.

Oh, never mind then. Oh, I've managed to block that from my memory. Oh, well, well, now it's on it. Oh, no, we might not have been because it was talked about on the poddy it's call once. So I don't know if that's. Oh, tell it any. Maybe that's where we're remembering it from. Oh, God.

Oh, no. no, do I continue? Continue, tell it anyway. Yeah, why not? It starts, look up, in the tree. It's a bird, it's a lizard, it's a pastry. Animal control officials in Krakow, Poland are having a good laugh after an unusual call earlier this week when they were asked to remove a strange window monster that was menacing

locals from its perch in a lilac bush. Officials showed up at the apartment complex to deal with a problem and soon discovered that it wasn't a beast at all. It was a croissant. The Krakow Animal Welfare Society shared the details of the unusual incident, including a partial transcript of the caller who reported it in a Facebook post after vanquishing the Krusty Menace earlier this week. A desperate, Krusty Menace.

That's not a nickname you want to have. That's the nickname for the big foot that comes crashing through your ceiling, a Krusty Menace. A desperate sounding woman called the Animal Welfare Society to report that she said, to report that there was a creature in the tree outside of a window. He's been sitting here for days and everyone's scared of him, she told them. Come and pick him up. Staff asked if the animal... That is a boy castle.

That lump of brown, that's a boy. That's definitely a boy. Yeah, only a boy would do that. Men have that intimidating aura. Staff asked if the animal might be a bird, but the woman rejected the notion. She said it looked like an iguana. Two inspectors showed up at the scene

and quickly spotted the brown creature sitting atop the bush His brown skin shines in the sun They wrote in their tongue in cheap post We look most closely And the poor guy has no legs or head The inspectors burst out laughing After realizing that the supposed dragon child

Was a French pastry That had likely been tossed For a window of the apartment complex To land in the bush And that's it for my spooky selection Have you seen the picture, Mikey? I have. It's brilliant. I mean, to be fair, if I was blind, I'd look at that and think, oh, that's a bit weird.

Once you know it's a quasson, it's really obvious. But like, if someone had just shown me that picture before I'd seen the story, I mean, I wouldn't have said it looks like a dragon man. But I would have been like, what is. That's strange. It's a very large cocoon. Yeah. But I was going to describe the picture for everyone listening, but it's literally just a quasson. It's lodged in a tree.

There's nothing much else to see. see. I can't make it. I can't pretty it up any more than that. Wow. Thank you, Mikey. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Mikey. Here's another question for you. This is from Connor Mulkahey, M-U-L-C-A-H-Y. I'm not sure I'd have to pronounce that, Connor. Sorry, Connor. At Conroy underscore Milk on Twitter, who asks,

What everyday food are you giving this year's trick-or-treaters? See image for reference. and there are two images. One, they both appear to be on people's porches. One is a bowl of scrambled egg with a sign that says warm scrambled egg. Oh, I've seen. And the other one is a Ziploc bag of some kind of liquid. And the message next to it says, take one bag of Sprite.

It's like plastic bags. Oh, God. Like a Ziploc bags full of liquid bulging. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Lovely. So if people come around trick-or-treating, what normal non-sweet treat are you giving them? I remember going through the village, trick-or-treating when I was a kid.

And, you know, we got a few nice things. We had a good hall. We had some drumsticks and refreshers and exciting things. And then we knocked on a door on this terrace and an old lady came out. And she just had a big bowl of fruit. And then she said, here you go, take one. And the worst thing was, so I politely took an apple and it was like an old lady apple that was all sort of wrinkly already and kind of it had been sitting there. It was like soft and it wasn't even a good apple.

So that was pretty great. I remember once as a kid getting a bag of crisps. I feel like I've talked about this before because it's still the most outlandish Halloween experience. But being given a bag of crisps on Halloween feels insanely wrong. Savory. I'd take one. On that note, I think I'm going to, I'm going to spend a month eating nothing but pizza and save the crusts for Halloween trick-a-treaters. Oh, that's weird.

Okay. Enjoy that, children. I'd actually quite like that. The crusts are my favourite bit. So really, I'm missing out by not eating them. I'm doing it for the kids. I'm going to arrive at the door with both of my hands cupped together and a great mound of squirty cream just on there. And they have to just sort of palm off a little bit of it each.

Just scoop a little lump of cream. Oh, that's, oh. Like, don't take it or don't be greedy. Make sure there's plenty to go around. One handful each. No, thank you. No, it's all right. I'll put it in the bag for you.

Oh, God. No, no. It's gone everywhere. I would hand out individual pitter breads because I think it's a hardy enough food stuff that it could go in a bag and, you know, it wouldn't, it wouldn't, like, rip or tear, and it's just, it's sort of the consistency of the exterior, it's almost like a shell, so you could easily wipe off anything that's on it, like any detritus. Stick it in the toaster,

you fucking sorted, man, free pitter bread. I'd take a free pitter bread, just out of the packet, put it in the bag, take it home. I think it would survive the Halloween journey quite nicely and still be useful at the end, so. You could probably, if you didn't think too hard about it and just accepted it for what it was, you could probably toast a pitter bread and then put like something sweet on it, like some Nutella

or something. Yeah. They'd have to eat it then. They probably wouldn't be able to put it in their bag. No. Well, that's the thing. A pitter bread is kind of a bag, so you could use it for overspill sweets while you're trick-or-treating. So let's say your regular bag gets really full,

split open the pitter bread. well bam you got space for like five mini milkyways in that bad boy here you go sonny oh could you just pop it in the pitta please he's wearing like a bandolier of pitter breads this might be a question you've already got uh ben so stop me if it is but what is the most offensive thing you can be given on uh a lot of people asked what was the worst Halloween thing we've had but i haven't included that question uh because i feel like it might be something that we may be discussed sim before, but I honestly can't remember. I think I might have told the Apple story before, and maybe Mikey's told the Crisp story. Yes. I can't remember anything about my Halloween. I stopped trick-or-treating relatively young in that. I just couldn't be asked with it.

I just don't really get or like Halloween, and that's no secret. But same went for trick-or-or-treating. Didn't want to dress up, didn't want to go places, couldn't be asked. So I can't really remember much. It's from, you know, my very, very early... I remember walking around trickle-treated. I remember walking around trick-or-treating once. And, like, just I guess because of the atmosphere of the night

and everyone's a little bit, oh, spooked. And there's these, you know, different groups of kids passing each other in the street. Some rumor was going around that there was just someone in the churchyard digging. And, like, there wasn't. But I just quite like looking back on that and thinking that, you know,

either some kids started that deliberately and it spread all around the village. Whenever you pass someone, you'd be like, oh, did you hear about what's happening in the graveyard? And no one wanted to go over there and see. What a strange thing to lie there. It was just spreading around. Yeah, I just like the idea of, you know,

just purely as a social experiment that someone just started that. And by the end of the night, everyone in the entire village knew or believed that someone was digging in the graveyard. There's got a shit going down in the graveyard. Yeah. I'm just thinking what the most offensive thing he gives

Not offensive actually But I just think like you'd look at it for five minutes Would be little baggies of pre-portioned gravy granules Oh, a bit of bistos Yeah, a bit like a little baggie of bisto Give it to kids Not even enough to make like enough gravy for Sunday roast Just a single baggie

I'll put that in a cup when you get home So now to warm your eye up after a long hard evening Which is both real That would be phenomenally shit maybe like the free condiments you get at hotels that would be a bad thing to that would be an easy thing to give out

and a bad thing to receive like a small paper sachet of sugar or splendor something that would be annoying as a child I mean objectively it wouldn't be the worst thing you could be given

because it's useful but it would be the most offensive thing to get on Halloween would be a little mini tube of toothpaste and some floss Oh, yeah. For all the cavities you're going to get from all the sweets. That little pot of marmite.

Oh, yeah. Not like a glass one, but, you know, again, like a little sample one. Yeah. Like a little breakfast pots you get at them hotels. Continental breakfast, yeah. Help yourself to a tiny marmite. Although I find them quite fun to open with the little pop, the vacuum seal. Well, then you'd have a great time, wouldn't you?

Just closing it and opening it over and over again. Spread it on my toasted pitter. You know what? It sounds like a fantastic Halloween. I think I will treat or treat. So many things I need. Peter, what is your thing? I have got...

I've found a website called Scary4Kids.com. Oh no. Oh no. And it's a blog and it has a post on it called Stupid Tales. And this says,

These stupid tales, are excellent examples of horrible horror and terrible terror. Short and sweet, they don't mess around. They get straight to the point. I'm not sure if these little stories are astonishing works of genius or just a bunch of shizzle. The stories aren't mine. They are the work of random people on the internet.

Kids in chat rooms and forums who share their masterpieces with the world. I just corrected some of the grammar. Now, in hindsight, I believe one or two of these might have actually been read on the yogs cast, the jog pod. You know, they occasionally read rubbish urban legends. Yeah. And I think they have certainly now, the past few,

I can't remember what the spooky yog pod is called. Oh, the spooktacular, I think they call it. They've got people to send them in, you know, like audience members. But I think in the early days, like Simon and Lewis used to just, They'd found, like, rubbish stories online. So a couple of these might be familiar to people, but not all of them are, I don't think. So here we go. I'm excited.

I hope you're sitting very spookily. Right, here we go. So you're with your honey and you're making out when the phone rigons. You answer it, and the voice is, what are you doing with my daughter? Hang on, do they say they corrected the grandma? They said they corrected the grammar, yeah, yeah, right. I'm going to start again because this, it really, it really punctuates at the end, the final sentence. So you're with your honey and you're making out when the phone riggins.

You answer it and the voice is, what are you doing with my daughter? You tell your girl and she say, my dad is dead. Then who was phone? No. Oh, no. Who was phone? I don't know. Who was phone?

The second one is very similar and not as good, but I kept it in. Okay. So you're in bed reading a book and your dog licks your hand. You then go to the toilet and when you come back, you get in bed. Your dog says, can I lick your hand again? Wait a minute. Dogs can't talk. Oh!

These are way too spooky. Far too spooky. These are for kids? Jesus, they're torn us down. Terrifying. Okay, here we go. There was a ghost in a house upon a cliff overlooking the sea. On a stormy night, a couple had a car breakdown outside the house

and decided to sleep there for the night. The ghost attacked them and threw candlesticks and books and candlestick holders and bookshelves at the couple. The couple ran around the house three times. They were trying to run away from the ghost, but he flew at them too fast. The ghost eventually ate the couple. Now there are three ghosts in that house. That's quite sweet

We're all friends Spooky friends Yeah This is the story of a day Where there was all this blood A man was walking around And blood started coming out of him everywhere There was so much blood

That it filled up an elevator He went to the store And there was just blood all over the place People were slipping in it And they were all grossed out He tried to go swimming and all of the sharks went nuts and bitten everybody. He got chased by all the vampires ever.

One time, the blood got a kid and a dog. At the end of the day, at the end of the day, everyone decided they would send him to space so that he would stop getting blood everywhere. The scariest part is that this man was you. Or he was a lady, if you are a lady, and you forgot.

that this happened. That is the scariest part. Oh, that is absolutely haunting. Holy shit. I'm sure that was on the Yogpod. That sounds familiar. I've heard that story before. Maybe it does sound familiar because it is actually you for you.

Oh, it was me. There was this girl who was sleeping over at this house. There were two rooms in the house and each room had four people in it. Then, in the middle of the night, one of the girls had to go poop. so she got up and used the toilet in her room. Then, a few hours later, she needed to poop again. So she got up again and pooped in the toilet in her room. Then the next morning, when they were leaving,

the girl needed to go to the bathroom again. So she went up to her room, when she got there, the toilet was gone! She couldn't believe it! She was sure it was there last night because she pooped in it twice. The girl was so freaked out that she ran out of there as fast as she could. Oh, why did the toilet go? I've heard of ghost-poos before, but not like that. Yeah.

Oh, dear. One time in March. Yeah, yeah. One time in March. This 11-year-old girl was alone, chatting online, and this guy kept sending her instant messages, so she reported it to the manager. Then the door opened, and she got offline very quickly and picked up the phone.

It was dead. then an instant message flashed on her screen It said I snipped the phone line Now I'll snip you Her mum found her the next day Snipped in two pieces She's been snipped

She got snipped into two pieces There's a lot of pieces There's a lot of pieces to be snipped into We're now into the thrilling conclusion This is the longest story of them all It's a whole two paragraphs Oh boy Once there was this girl named Nikki

who was six years old and she had a babysitter named Lisa When her parents went out at night Nikki liked playing with her babysitter But one night the power went out And Nikki was freaked out Lisa went down in the basement Trying to turn it back on

And then Nikki heard footsteps She cried out Lisa what happened But no answer Then all of the sudden The lights turned on And there was a man standing there and Nicky screamed and screamed.

At 11pm, Nikki's parents came home. Lisa was sitting on the couch. Hi, Lisa, where's Nikki? they said. Upstairs, sleeping, said Lisa. Okay, here's your money, they said. Thank you, said Lisa and walked out. Then, all of the sudden, the parents screamed. Nikki was skinned alive and her bones were laying on her bed

and a note was written on the wall in blood which said, how do I look, mommy? The police. God. The police finally caught Lisa, and it turned out her real name wasn't really Lisa. It was Larry and she was a man. Well, he was a man, should I say. Oh, dear.

Oh, God. Larry got her. So she was skinned, but her bones were there. She was a bit more than skinned, I'm afraid. She was, eviscerated. She was deboned. Deboned. Oh, God.

God, all of the sudden. Good. All of the sudden, I love that. That's very good, yeah. So they're all available at ScaryforKids.com. There were a couple of others as well, but they were not even funny, bad. Who was phone? Then who was phone?

And some of them, you kind of get the impression that they were just written by someone trying to pretend they were a stupid child or something. Right. I mean, there's this one here. I'll read it to you, just so you can get an idea of how bad the others are. One day, there were a couple of scuba divers who saw a sign that said,

no scuba diving, and they had such poor parenting that they didn't even look at it. Just when they were having a good time scuba diving, they found a secret place where all the bad guys live. When they saw the bad guys coming out of it and looking around, they got so afraid that they never scuba dived again. However, years later,

some of the bad guys came and found, them and broke some of their scuba gear oh and that's the end wow yeah that's it that's the scary story there so uh dairy me all sorts born chilling tales my god to the spook stories peter you're welcome you're welcome sweet dreams next questions next question comes courtesy of momo beans at beans underscore momo on twitter your late uncle left your beautiful mansion off the beaten path everything is fine except one thing it's haunted oh no

none of the ghosts seem to be malicious they're just enjoying their time in your mansion do you stay and how do you make the most of your haunted mansion I see I've seen when I've seen like stupid videos online of people saying

my house has a poltergeist and you know sometimes you can even just see where they've very obviously framed the shot so you can't see someone reaching in to pull the chair along the floor or whatever. When I've seen things like that, I always think, if that actually happened to me, you know, I'd be terrified that there's a spirit in my house.

But then you sometimes hear people saying like, oh, yeah, my house is haunted or my aunt's house is haunted, but it's okay. It's a friendly ghost or whatever. And, you know, sometimes it'll just like play a trick on you or something and it'll like move something, you know, pull the chair out or whatever. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. I would only feel comfortable cohabiting with a quote-unquote friendly ghost if I could physically see it as a person and communicate with it

I would want to have like a frank conversation with it and be like hey how are you how's it going they'd be like I'm dead you know I'm haunting this house this is where I am I died here or whatever and I'd be like okay do you mind if I live here and I'm like no no I'm just having a good time you know I might be around sometimes But, you know, I would want to, like, reason with this ghost. I wouldn't feel comfortable someone just saying, oh, it's a friendly ghost. It's just, you know, sometimes makes, like, doors open and stuff. Yeah, and, like, the spare room, you set up a TV and you turn it on for them.

So they've got something to watch if they ever get bored and, like, they can leave messages to change the channel or something. Like, yeah, come to an understanding with them. Yeah, that's the only way you would get me, you know, for accepting the existence of ghosts, I would want to be able to very clearly communicate. Kate and be like, are you okay with me being here? You know, I'll do what you want. I won't bother you. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I think I'm the same, like having an unknown thing there, like watching me. I'm like, oh, this is a bit weird. Unless they were like ridiculously friendly, like, well, I guess, you know, like the antithesis of me being Paul Hollywood's demon and that they were closed my oven if I left it open or something like that and it would be a nice. Yeah, I don't like the idea. of being watched in my own house. Maybe I'd do like a trial week.

See how I got on. And maybe reserve it as like a holiday home. If I ever feel like a bit of excitement in my life and just like go away for a week, spend some time with the spooky boys and then go back to my normal house. Yeah, I guess maybe I'd be a fun project. Like start a profile and all the ghosts

and get to know their likes and dislikes. Some selfies. Yeah. Oh, there's an orb in this photo. That must be steep. I don't think I don't think I'd jump at the offer though I my first inkling would be to sell it because I don't want to move into a haunted mansion

and equally I probably wouldn't want to move into a mansion anyway I don't know where it is but it's nowhere near where I'm going where I need to work but it's in a very inconvenient place so if they are nice ghosts and they made that perfectly clear and I was able to communicate communicate with them. I would probably just see what their deal was. They probably wouldn't be happier if I sold the house, you know, because then God knows what would happen to it. So maybe I could come up with some agreement with them where they were willing to work for me in a capacity

that I would keep the house and allow them to stay there. Maybe they could operate like ghost Bitcoin machines for me or maybe I could turn it into an actual haunted house that people could go and stay at like a scared B&B. Just, yeah, just get them involved

where it's like, oh, sorry, spooky Jeffrey, you're on duty this weekend. Scary, spook Timothy, you're on nights and then they just sort of do shifts where they have to do mild spookinings to the people who come a visit. And we have to sort of

mutual arrangement where they make me a fuckload of money because they work in my spook house and I don't sell the house and they get to stay there forever. Well, if you try, apparently, if you sell, if you try and sell a house and it's sort of known to be haunted or advertised as a haunted house, it can knock 20% of the value of the house off, which in the UK on average is like 40 grand, which is insane. Yeah. It's insane. But that would be my plan.

if I was given it. But if I didn't know it was haunted, I'd just sell it immediately. I don't need it. Mm-hmm. You don't want it. Yeah. Yeah, I do like the idea of setting up as like an Airbnb for spooks and scares. Yeah.

Scare B&B. Why didn't we do that? That's what Mikey said. Did you say that? I thought he said Spook B&B. No, I said, scare B&B. Okay. Michael, I'm really sorry.

Michael? Michael. Yes. I'm really sorry. That's okay. It's fine. It's fine. Is it?

It's fine. Sorry. The house devaluing when you've got a ghost has reminded me of a Nathan for you episode. Do you ever see Nathan for you? Yeah, a little bit. It goes to businesses with like stupid ideas to help improve how much money they make.

And one of the best episodes is where he goes to a realtor and goes with them saying, if you sell your houses where they guarantee that there's no ghosts, you'll make so much more money. So this woman becomes like the ghost realtor. it's just the most amazing thing as a quick image of it yeah basically like every house has like

there's like an exorcism to expel all ghosts from it it's just the quote on the advert my homes are 100% ghost and demon free that's fantastic her little hand holding the crucifix that's cute it

it's really good it's really good it's time for my thing and before you say anything no it's not a desperately reverse-engineered game based upon a little bit of wordplay. So don't even say it. It's time for Spook or Spock.

Okay. Okay, yeah. I have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven horror movies. I've got seven horror movies. And I have a quote from them. That is the spook. I also have a quote from Star Trek, Spock. But which is which?

My God. It's up to you to decide. So I'm going to go film by film. I'm not going to tell you what the film is because that will influence your decision, I think, until afterwards. But I'll read the quote one and quote two, and then you tell me which is spook and which is Spock. Okay?

So each time we're getting one of each. You're getting one of each, yeah. And there'll be one spook and one Spock in there, and you have to decide which is the spook and which is the Spock. Right. Okay. Okay, number one. Quote one, we're always quickest.

to doubt people who have a reputation for being honest. That's quote one. Quote two, once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. That's, um, uh, what is that? It's like the opposite of Occam's Razor. Was it, did Sherlock Holmes say that or no?

I'm, I don't know who I'm attributing that to, but, uh... Is it a Spock or a spook though, Peter? So that could be Spock. Whoever is saying that is quoting someone. They do both sound quite spocky, don't they? They do both sound spoky. The second one I could totally see in like a paranormal film. Like the precipice of some spooky shit going down.

It's like layers that line down. So I'm going to err on the side of number one being the Spock. I'm going to say that Spock was quoting. it's either like Einstein or Sherlock Holmes or something but it seems like someone Spock might quote so I'm saying the second one is Spock The second one is Spock The first one of course is Milton

Arbaghast Detective from the movie Psycho Oh okay Oh wow holy crap, okay So there we are On to number two Quote 1 Fire It's a reflection of our

own mortality. We're born, we breathe and we die. And quote two. Without followers, evil cannot spread. Is it a spock or a spook? That second one sounds spooky. Oh, I was thinking that sounded spocky. Oh, really? I did get the first one wrong, so don't be swayed by me. No, I won't be. I think I'm going to say that the second one about evil is spooky. I'm going to stay firm and say Spocky.

I was like, I'm not much of a Star Trek man, but I always kind of, it's got like life lessons. It's like quite, well, sometimes profound and it's all about a good of man and all that. So I'm going to lean on that. The second quotes is in fact

a Spock. And fire, it's a reflection of our own mortality. We're born. We breathe and we die is a quote from Dean Armitage from the horror movie Get Out. Oh, I've seen that as well. God.

There you go. Oh, there we go. There's something, aren't we? Up next, quote one. Superior ability breeds superior ambition. And quote two. A survivor, unclouded by

conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality. Spook or Spot. Oh, man. what was that for read the first one again superior ability breeds superior ambition that sounds like that sounds like frankestan or something oh i was thinking wow we're going opposite on all of these that sounds like someone just made a monster one of life yes i'm picturing like that's that's someone describing a beast that just conjured or something

I don't know, I think I only have limited knowledge of Spock and Star Trek but he sort of says odd stuff like that slightly wanky things I'm going to say that was

that was Spock the superior thing I'm going to stick with spooky for that one Superior ability breeds superior ambition it's a Spock oh what

okay A survivor unclouded by conscience remorse or delusions of morality is Ash from Alien. Oh. It's known as Alan. Also, if someone could add this photo to the thread, I'd appreciate it.

Ah, there we go. Oh my God. Next up. Quote one. Every living thing wants to survive. Quote two. What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution.

Okay. Yeah, I know this one. I thought you might. Whoa. Oh, okay. I guess I've got to guess before you lay down the fact. Yeah. What was the first one again?

Every living thing wants to survive. I'm going to say the second one, Spock. It just sounds outlandish enough to be him. When I heard the first one, I thought that sounded like a horror movie, like something like the thing. or something. But the second one is from Jaws. It is from Jaws.

Every living thing wants to survive is a Spock. I was trying to match Spock quotes with sort of vaguely similar quotes from the horror movies I picked out. But yeah, I thought it started off with Mr. Vaughn, which I thought would be an even more of a giveaway. That, of course, was Matt Hooper from Jaws. Next up, quote one. He is intelligent but not experienced. His pattern indicates two-dimensional. thinking. And quote two, no reason, no conscience, no understanding, even the most rudimentary

sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. Oh man, all of these sound like Spock. Yeah, this is really good. Oh, the second one sounds like something like from a slasher film, like an old 80s film. Oh, God, I can't name any slasher villains off the top of my head right now, But I just see that, like, they're hidden out in, like, some old abandoned shed. And like, he's got, he's no reason. Oh, no, da, da. Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to say the first one, Spock, and the second one is spook. I'm going to guess the second one he's talking about, again, I have very limited knowledge,

but the Borg, which are like the robot baddies from Star Trek. So I'm going to say number two is Spock. Number one is Spock. Number two, no reason, no conscience. no understanding even the most rudimentary sense of life

or death, good or evil right or wrong is Dr. Loomis from Halloween. Oh, there you go. You're right,

Mikey. It was a flasher. Is someone keeping track of the score because I think you're all tied up still? Oh, God.

I think we are now, yeah. You're all tied up. Yeah. Okay, we've got two left. Here we go. I nearly just read out

the name of the movie immediately, which would have been stupid. Quote one, to live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. and quote two

Pain is a thing of the mind The mind can be controlled Oh I wonder if that sounds familiar That second one It really does But I can't put my tongue on My tongue

My tongue? Wait a tip of my tongue That's it yeah There is the tongue isn't it Tip of my tongue Do I'm reading the first one again Sorry To live in hearts we leave behind

Is not to die That's that's As you said, Peter, that sounds quite wanky. Would it help you to know that most of these quotes I had to type up manually because they were laid on, like, inspiring backgrounds of landscapes? Right. And I couldn't even copy and paste them. I don't know.

They both sound a bit spocky to me. I'm going to say pain is a thing of the mind is Spock, because he's a Vulcan and they do I think they're like kind of powerful and they've got like martial arts and stuff

I think again I don't really know once again I'm leaning away from Peter and I'm saying that that is a spook not a spock okay

to live in hearts we leave behind is not to die that's quote one is a spook it's Thomas Campbell from Day of the Dead Pain is a thing of the mind

the mind can be controlled is Spock oh yeah Oh, I forgot about the mind can be controlled. I might not have gone with it. Bit ominous, isn't it, that quote, Spock. But there we go. Overlaid.

A nice babbling brook there, picture of it. So Peter pulls ahead, all to play for the final one. Here we go. Quote one is no. And quote two is absolutely not. Oh, you monster. Right. I am going to say

Absolutely not Is a spook Yeah, I guess no What you say? Yeah, no Spock's a man a few words He gets the point Yeah, no, no, yeah

So you're in agreement The opposite of Peter Wait, I mean The opposite of what I said Mikey, stuff What are he saying? I have no idea So one of them is no

One of them is absolutely not. Peter, which one do you think is a Spock? I'm going to say, I don't know why, absolutely not is a spook. So no is Spock. Aha, yeah. I guess I have to go the way around. Otherwise this will be an anticlimatic ending.

Yeah, no, I believe myself when I say that. So you can hear it in my voice. So to be clear, yes. Michael, you think absolutely not is a Spock. And Peter, you think no is a spock. Yes. Yes

It's difficult when they're so similar It's a tie No of course was famously said by Ned From Friday the 13th Absolutely not Was a Spock quote No one's ever said that before Brilliant

This is Spock original So that's a tie there at the end Wow Thank you for playing Spook or Spock Spock or Spook Will we do it again? No

No we won't I've thought about doing Maidly or Made Up again at some point purely because of the name. I think Spook or Spock is great. Yeah, that's good. We'll see how I feel this time next year. We'll see what happens. Final question comes from Paul at Paul Zaremba 16.

Do you have a favourite Halloween costume you wore? I'm not a big Halloweener, it's Halloweeny actually, Paul. I'm not a big Halloween myself, but I was the Red Power Ranger probably three or four times in my youth. okay love you by nice nice i think the one time we have i because i'm not much of a dresser up i was kind of it's more i find it more of a nuisance than a bit of fun which has always been fun at like dresser parties where well for i think about four years of my teenage years i wore the same parrot costume every halloween just because i could get my money's worth out of it but the

one time where i actually put in like a decent amount of effort into a costume even then it wasn't that much effort. It was when I dressed up as Sean of the dead and I spiked up my hair like him, I had the red shirt and the baseball bat with blood spatters on me. I mean, I looked crap because I didn't really resemble Simon Pegg, but hey, I put in a minor amount of effort and I should be applauded for that. Thank you very much. I applaud you.

Does Wallace not count as a Halloween dress up or is it just Halloween for the rest of us? It was just Halloween for everyone who happened to walk past that night. The worst bit was, yeah, walking out of my flat and a group of three people just walking by and not even seeing a word. I was like, oh, man, I'm just embarrassed me. They've seen weirder. Yeah.

Definitely. Yeah, that was just a frightening experience, not a Halloweeny one. Peter. I, my favorite one as a kid was I was at the shop, like the corner shop in our village

would stock a small amount of Halloween costume stuff and they had this really cool mask that was a skull um with all this like white hair coming out of it it looked really it was like genuinely quite good and it was pretty cheap as well so I bought that and I bought a cloak thing and then they were also selling this big scythe so I went as like death I went as the grim reaper purely because that was just the collection of things I bought and I was pretty proud of that I thought it was pretty cool that like costume but outside of that when I was at uni

I mean a friend well our whole flat hosted a Halloween party and everyone from the building came down to our flat we had the biggest kitchen on the ground floor and I

dressed as Robin and my friend dressed as Batman and I pulled that night one of the Shining Twins oh congratulations Yeah, I was pretty pleased with that. I look pretty good as Robin, I think. Oh, Halloween's always great for that,

seeing weird mismatches of people getting off of each other. Incredible. Yeah, I've never really done that much fancy dress or Halloween dressing up and so on. But I did have a dinosaur costume when I was a kid that my grandma made for me out of like it was sort of it was very it was like almost silky it felt like in it it had little feet that you strapped over your over your shoes and it had the body that you stepped

into and zipped up and it had a big tail and then you had gloves that you would put on and then a little hat that fastened under your chin that was just like an open mouth and she made this whole thing and I think I I can't remember if I had a green one or a red one but my cousin had the other one and we just used to stamp around as dinosaurs and it was fucking awesome it's the best thing ever

pretty cool so that would be it apart from that though maybe the Spider-Man costume that I bought when we went to Bristol that time before we started vidiots

and then I put it in my luggage to fly back up to Newcastle and I had a pair of nail scissors in there but that were actually scissors not like nail coppers um and for some reason that you used to always manage to get onto flights well yeah newcastle didn't give a shit they let me fly to bristol with it but when i tried to fly back they

they stopped me and they opened up my luggage and there was a fucking spider-man costume at the top of my luggage i was like i'm not spider-man they're like i don't care you can't have scissors on the that's what spider-man would say yeah that's exactly what spider-man would say did you actually were you like feeling a bit uncomfortable and did you say i'm not spider-man yeah i did because they opened luggage and there was a fucking spidey suit on it right at the top my my newest and best purchase yeah i just remembered my most slept-on costume which is uh the year i dressed up as a tornado and i just got i wore a black t-shirt and like stitched lots of little toy cars to it and when people ask what i was i'd spin around and say as a tornado oh that's very good and everyone everyone who i showed it to

I was like, that's awful. I was like, I think it's pretty good. That's brilliant. Probably ruined my night. And I mean, by 10 minutes, all the cars are falling off. But boy, what a 10 minutes it was. What a 10 minutes. Incredible.

Well, there we are. That's the questions and things for this week. If you go to store.orgscast.com, there's some merch, isn't there, Michael? Oh, boy. You're absolutely right. If you've had over to store.orgscast.com, you'll find a wonderful veritable bounty of delights including the newly released sharky plushy

wowie it's actually looks like it's a lovely item I've seen it first hand it's beautiful so if you want to pick it up you can use code vidiots at checkout for 10% off and in addition to there being a plushy of a shark with a harpoon going through its chest we've also got our own section of the site with lots of brilliant t-shirts

hoodie and mugs where you can use again the same code code vidiots at checkout god I really I don't I thought I came into this one relatively strong but I got totally thrown off by the sharky tangent

yes code vidiots at checkout for 10% of absolutely everything on the Yogs cast store so even if you don't want to buy our stuff you can still buy someone else and give a little, little tiny bit of a kickback to us, their boys.

Isn't that nice? YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, all.com forward slash vidiates. Vidiates official. Also, twitch.tv.TV, forward slash vidiots official. Thank you so much to everybody who came along to the stream the other week and gave so incredibly generously. We raised over a thousand ponds for Alzheimer's Research UK. So thank you so much. Also, thank you to fellow Yogscast.

That wasn't a comment on the Yogscast. That was genuinely clear. I don't just make that clear. Thank you to fellow Yogscast network members, Ozi, and High Rollers, who raided during the stream. So thank you very. Oh, that's lovely. Good bunch. What else have I got to say?

Before we do the Pod Squad, who wants to know what came out on videos three years ago this week? Yes, please, God. We've got worse games ever. Star Water Sports. Oh God, spooky. That's very spooky. Life on the edge, gang beasts. Oh.

Yeah, play some gang beasts. Medieval ruling, Age of Empires 2, part 2. This was prove it. Getting closer. Postum tat number 36, worst, fucking out. Workplace safety, where we got that sort of laminated safety sheet to put on the wall, it's on the wall of my kitchen.

Oh, yeah. That's good currently. Oh, lovely. The Age of Empires in real life, action finale of Prove It, one of my favourites that we've done. Oh, one an absolutely unhinged episode

that was. This is one of the occasions where it actually did more views than the Let's Place, so look at that. Not by much, though. Thank God. Still, God.

I'm glad everyone watched it. When we just desperately came up with the third part of that, we're like, we need a third thing. We're like, oh, something about food, getting eggs into the, I don't know, and we just threw eggs at each other, like in a little,

in a quiet country lane Yeah Lain Caught them in baskets It's good, isn't it? God That's brilliant I wonder why they didn't

You know Keep us employ You are on face Pretty strange Isn't it We book a few days off work To go away On a trip

And we come back What you've been up to boys Oh we went Paddling in a small stream And through exit each other Mikey That's the thing We didn't even book it off

We just said This is work And we went Yeah, that was it But to be fair It was a very different kind of job Than I think a lot of people are used to We reported to no one

We were our own bosses So that was content And it was part of our job To go to Dunster And throw eggs at each other To stay at Ben's Grandma's house It was excellent But that's still not all

We've also got worst games ever Spooky Special Casper and the Ghost something Ghostly Trio I think Ghostly Trio yeah There's a live stream Vod Cortex... Oh, I think this is another live stream, but...

No, it's not. Is it? No, it's not. Cortex is clever girls. Left for Dead mods. We played Left for Dead and I think we were being hunted by dinosaurs. Yeah, it was like Crash Bandicoot levels, but it had dinosaurs in it. It was really weird.

Madness. And it was pitch black. We couldn't see a bloody thing. Not a thing. Making Nukakola. Remember that? Oh. That's a good one too.

Yeah. It was really disgusting. that. Spooky, it's episode 18, a Luigi board. Postal tat number 37, Vidiot's Wrestling Federation, that's when we got that amazing championship belt. Oh yeah, yeah. Incredible. Black Ops 4 Zombies, it's on

easy. And finally, lining up with the release of this episode, worst games ever spooky special, Billy the wizard rocked something or other. What's it called? Rocket broomstick racing.

And there you are. That's what came out. Really spooky. It's not even Billy the Witch. Billy the Wizard. That's normal. Halloween special. And fine.

So there we are. That's what came out. This time. Thank you. We've also got, of course, the wonderful pod squad, the spook squad. Streamlabs.com forward slash poddiet's donations, three pounds or more to get a shout at the beginning. And the end of the show, here is your spook squad once more. Grandma's scary, hairy kisses, Katie Kinsolo, Ben's number one fan, the generous Swarthy Mofo, Goosebump's number two fan, Donak 07, The Walking Cheggs, the stupendously generous Red Room, Weath, thank you very much again.

Thank you so much. Mr. Blacula, Dave Benson Phillips' only fans, Spooky Becky, Chav Chav Ramirez, thank you very much, very generous. miss a view. Pro-trainer Kedui? Bartek Vantzak, blad pudding Spookerlicious. Also, Stephen Skodes Goey Bug Sputton, Spoopy Spurdy

Spellitons, Chegwin's Spooky Nob. Dave Bitcoin Phillips. Funding bomb-related purchase. Chegwin-stein's monster. Lord Spook to Vic. Fuck Spooks, it's Rocktober. Oh, I should say, funding bum-related purchase was very generous,

and Fuck Spooks, It's Rocktober, was also very generous, thank you both. Sir Wind Pipes the Loud, Berries and Cream for Ben, hashtag I Stand with Caroline, Simon Miller, Burley Noah, Finn Tristam, spooky donation name, and Caroline's shagging me now, soz. We've also got War Poddiet's shirt to synagogue, Prince Beefcakes, Big Fanny. Buddha 69. The very generous long tim first time DJ JPEG. Ryan made the tiger cry.

Rain drop joy but spooky. Half the house. Fuck you, Caroline. Caroline, I was wrong. Sorry. Caroline, I had loft converted. Slightly used toilet paper. Cunter for Cobumbus. Don't go back, Caroline. You too good for him. Lord Dabar Tell da-bah friends. Just keep swimming, Ash.

I'm in trouble, tubs. Rice poofs or sugar queers. And Rami Malik looks like Tiny Pete. And there we go. That's your Spook Squad. Thank you everybody so much. Once again, streamlabs.com forward slash pottyist donations, three pounds or more. We love you.

We love you so much. Thank you. Thank you very much. Mikey, where are you found on the internet? I'm found at Paraboy on Twitter. That's where I tend to put my things. I also stream a once in a blue moon on a Paraboy on Twitch. So go follow me on there if you want to be kept up with me comings and goings.

I celebrate it 13 years. on Twitter the other day, which is a horrifying number, considering there's people younger than that that follow me probably. My Twitter account's older than all of you, shut out. Peter, where are we? We are Team Triple Jump on Twitter, Facebook, but more importantly, YouTube and Twitch. So go check that out if you want to see cooking and worst games ever.

Weirdest games ever is coming up soon as well. In fact, by the time this goes out, it might be out already. It will be for the patrons I don't know Something like that It's coming out soon But also we've got our own social media Ben is at Confused underscore Dude on Twitter

And I am at That Peter Austin So go follow us if you want For Dobidol Finally leave us an iTunes review Or a review slash rating On your platform of choice It helps something to do With Al Gore's rhythms

Do we have a final question Before we disappear What minor haunting Would you do to who? I'm curious Yeah, tell us your wantings. What would you do to piss people off or maybe make their lives a bit easier? I mean, it's up to you.

Who knows? What would you do to Paul Hollywood? And why? Right, we're going to go now. Happy Halloween, everyone. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

I don't know.