Podiots - WHERE ARE THE VIDIOTS?

Episode Date: March 15, 2019

WE'RE BACK BABY, today we answer all your burning questions and the irreverent crap talk you've come to know and love carries on! New merch: http://smarturl.it/Podiots eBay Billy Print listing: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Signed-Vidiots-Canvas/264240518419?hash=item3d85f65513:g:QqAAAOSwnvFci97Z Ben and Peter's new channel 'TripleJump': https://www.youtube.com/teamtriplejump Twitch: Twitch.tv/vidiotsofficial YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vidiotsofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/VidiotsOfficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vidiotsofficial Discord:  http://bit.ly/VidiotsDiscord Follow the gang on Twitter: Ben: @Confused_Dude Peter: @ThatPeterAustin Michael: @ParrotBoy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax Hello everybody. Oh my god, what's this? Hello. Is this real life? The spooky boys are back. The kings of stupid internet humour. God.

We've returned. Oh. Have we? On a magical pilgrimage across time and the space of three months. And I know you've all been wondering, what on earth, what on earth of those pesky boys been up to? What's this new channel? Where's Mitchell?

How did Dave Benson Phillips appear in that video? Yeah. Why haven't you brought Mitchell with you? How's the other Dave? Where's the other Dave? Hey, bring back Podiat's. Why did you get rid of Mitchell? Well, we'll answer some of those questions now,

and the rest of them, maybe, in the future we'll just have to wait and see Hello everyone I'm Ben I'm Peter and I'm Michael Well done

Mitchell Oh sorry Michael Oh shit yeah I wasn't going to say anything But I thought I just naturally You know Correct you

You have had your name legally changed To Michael now Yeah Yeah so I'm informed You are a busy busy boy Lots of people want to know

where you're at And what you'd be doing So I'm throwing the microphone In the spotlight Over to you It's coming Mike Johnson Here we go

I caught it Did you throw that all the way to Bristol, Ben? It was a really bad throw as well. I actually threw it the wrong way. It ended up in Wales. Awful. It's just awful. Can't imagine ending up in Wales.

Oh, God, it's terrible. Oh, cracky. Those poor boys and girls. So, exciting things. Because my new job isn't necessarily as outward facing as Vidyts or Triple Jump is. So I am working inside the Yogscast offices because they can't get rid of me. I will be kicking and screaming, wailing before they get me out of this building. So I have joined Four Floor Creative, which is kind of Yogscast's creative marketing arm,

kind of a sister company that assists in brand sponsorships and all that good stuff. We worked with them a lot during Vidiots. They helped us arrange some sponsorships, which is nice. And I've joined their creative league. That's a weird word, creative league. The Justice League. I found a superhero. Oh my god

Yeah so essentially I've joined 4th Floor Creative as a general video person That basically means If there's something that involves visuals They get me to do it So I've assisted on shoots I'm producing some shoots for like Big Exciting clients that I can't say anything about right now

Because there's strict NDAs And I will be decapitated if I say anything about them You can tell us we're all friends here Don't worry about it It's a Mario 65 No They finally got that extra one. Holy shit, man.

I love the first 60 odd. The following four were a little bad, but 65 might be the one. Yeah, everyone thinks Reggie retired to, you know, go and spend time with his family. He's actually devoting his life to Mario 65. Oh, my God. So, yeah, I'm just doing a bit of everything right now. I think one thing that has been released was our Metro Exodus in real life challenge, which had a few brilliant people in it

like Terps Apple Red, MGP Mess Yourself, there we go that's the other one So that was like a big shoot To promote the new Metro game That involved going from the top of the country To the bottom and a series of challenges

It was really good Just search Metro Exodus in real life Or go in terms of challenge You'll see that You get a good idea The kind of thing I'm doing It's just, yeah I'm just a video boy

It's the best way to put it So I'm still in the Yorkshire's office and it's quite sad walking past the Vidy's room now because I'm sad to inform you the yellow wall has been painted over What colour is it? It's white So I assume they're going to paint over that

With green because there is a man in there right now While we're recording, he's painting it Oh, gosh Exciting developments at half seven There's a painter in the office Couldn't even wait for the body to get cold Jesus Yeah

That room did get cold pretty quickly there to be fair It did actually It was the best refrigerated room in the entire office because we did it that way. Had to keep our friends safe, otherwise they'd melt. Yeah. It would happen.

But if you see those huge amazing shoots at the OXCast and also lots of promotional stuff for various video game companies, yeah, there's a very good chance. Michael Johnson over here. My sticky burpy fingers have been involved in it. Was heavily involved. He got his burpee fingers all over it.

Yeah, so I'm still doing some stuff directly with the OXCast, albeit in the behind-the-scenes sense. We shot a really fun live action. series the other week. That might be premiering today on the release of the podcast. So, yeah, keep an eye on the Augustuscast main channel for a live

action series. You'll know which one I'm talking about. It's very good. So, yeah, that's... I think that's me. Just, yeah, I'm in Bristol still. I'm enjoying it. Life is great. I'm still getting paid a wage. And in the end of the day, that's all the matters. In the end of the day... Yeah.

But you're going to use all of your amazing talents and skills as well? Yeah. Yeah, it's great. So I'm now a See, I think the nice thing is I previously I would have had to have put YouTuber on my CV and now I can put video producer which I think is a little bit more employable

It looks awful, doesn't it? YouTube Yeah, you fools terrible. I'm a vlogger I take a selfie stick into Walmart and I say, I want to buy everyone's

groceries and they say no you're not allowed to do that. So you don't have enough money? Yeah. So get out. That's an actual video that I saw the other day on YouTube. Really? It was in a cringe compilation where this vlogger went in with a selfie stick.

It was like, can I, I want to buy everyone's groceries today? Can I buy everyone's groceries? And they just wouldn't let him do it. And I'm glad that they didn't let him do it because even if he could afford it, like, don't, he's just making such a song and dance about himself. Like, you know, do you know, if you really want to do something good, you would just donate money to charity or something. But he had to film himself.

It's like when Logan Paul, I don't know if this is true actually, but someone else told me that Logan Paul filmed himself rescuing people from like a hurricane or like floods or something. Yeah, I don't doubt that. Yeah. Look at me giving money to this homeless man. Aren't I good? Look at me. Yeah. Yeah.

Fuck them. Fuck them for helping people. Pricks. Yeah, fuck him. Bloody hate him. Speaking of people we hate, Peter, where have we gone? What's happening? Where are we now?

I'm just getting word that it was Jake It was Jake Paul I just want to clear that up The somehow worse one They always outdo each other Don't know those Paul brothers We wouldn't want to infactually disparage Logan Paul No

No absolutely no Not that golden boy Let's you know He's currently got a clean sheet Let's not Yeah In answer to your question though Ben The answer isn't Jake Paul

What me and you are doing right now Is yeah We're working for a new channel under the cultaholic umbrella. Yeah. And it's called triple jump. It's definitely just called triple jump and was never called anything else. There was no cease and desist.

No. Scandal confirmed. Scandal confirmed. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. And we're making lists, but lists that we want to make, which is a real treat. Some of them are silly every now and then. I was working on a silly one today.

Yeah. Yeah. that's exciting stuff and we've already put one out in fact the first one we did was a silly list but in in sort of other ways it's it's not so vidiates-ish I mean we

we stream probably a lot more often than we used to I would say at vidiates or between us we do anyway so me and Ben stream solo once a week and then do a joint stream as well once a week does he not stop your stream if you're just streaming solo that's a bit

I thought I thought George Lucas Star Wars film, Peter. Oh, I see. It was a joke. Star Wars joke, Peter. Knocked out the park. Bam.

Michael, say it again. Do Disney not take down your stream if you're streaming solo? Very funny. No, I thought you said, does he not stop your stream? And I was like, why would Ben, what would Ben have a problem with me streaming on my own? Not allowed to do it on your own, Peter. I have to wear special desk blinkers, so I can't see when he's not there. Really thrown off by the word Disney there.

It's a common occurrence That's the northern accent, yeah Worst Games ever lives on Yeah That is a fortnightly show at the moment On Triple Jump And yeah, I don't know Again, it's nice to have some structure

Like Mikey says I think it's I think Ben you would agree That it's a more structured venture now In the sense there I mean we We had as much of a structured schedule At Vidiots really

But I don't know There's something Something just feels a bit more uniform a bit more predictable about it now i think at videos we were always kind of on monday morning thinking like so what are we going to do this week for our schedule slots that we've already like promised that we're putting out you know yeah so um yeah it's it's just nice to be uh still making video stuff we miss mikey daily but um you know you you don't have to you don't have to worry about him those of you who are yeah don't worry triple jump and wondering where he is

yeah i'm alive yeah he's fine He's very safe. He's very safe. Obviously, the humor is largely intact and the same because, you know, two out of three ain't bad. But as far as content goes, it's slightly more journalistically skewed. Yeah, that's fair to say. What is journalistic integrity? I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. No, we still don't know what that is. We just try. Yeah. It's our learning adventure. And you can come and watch it with us. So there's all sorts of interesting stuff that you can find about that. We'll put links in the descriptions of various.

things. As Pete said, there's a YouTube channel, there's a podcast, there's a Twitch, all sorts of stuff where you can come and support us over there. And obviously, that's a full-time job, which means that we're doing, as we committed at the end of the year, we're going to try and do video stuff in our spare time. But that's going to be harder now, because we're all busy boys during the week. So let's talk about podiotes and streaming. And I know I'm a professional. I get paid. It's ridiculous. So, and how we're going to do it? So Pottietz was originally fortnightly, so once every two weeks, and then we pushed it

forward to once a week when we, in all honestly, saw the subscriber figures and thought, what are people like, Pottietz? Let's do that more often. Oh, fewer people are listening to it now. Well, that's weird. Don't know why that's happening. So we're going to go back to fortnightly. So Pottiates will be with you once every two weeks, so you can look forward to that. It's weird, isn't it? Because that happened with. worst games ever as well when we're at videos when we doubled up people stopped watching it it's so strange yeah but why don't you make worse games ever every week okay fine we'll do it why are you not watching anymore why i think sometimes these things are better as a a rarer treat i mean not super

rare but just rare enough you know two weeks is a it's a long time to wait and then when it comes around you're like hell yeah i'm clicking that click it now i'm click on that son of a gun yeah click it good uh likewise streaming we're going to try and do some of that as well we're going to take it in turns to do a stream and that will be in the alternating week between podcasts so once again we'll be streaming once a fortnight and we'll take it in terms to do that

so just pay attention to our various social media feeds to find out when and what we're doing and all that kind of stuff but that's our that's our basic plan heading forward it's subject to change as we go of course we might increase regularity we might decrease it but we'll always communicate that with you as best as we can and I think

I think that's essentially it where the Twitch Fods and the podcast will still go on the YouTube channel and we'd very much appreciate you of course watching those if you can or if you miss the live streams

and so on but in terms of our content output going forwards that's what we're trying to hit as a minimum from now on and that's Twitch.tv forward slash video it's official down right

maybe a merch boy might jump in some kind so merch gremlin I heard someone say it merch. What? Oh my God. Merchall. If you, yeah, Merchall Johnson, that's me.

If you head to store.orgscast.com right now and find the Vidyat's bit. I don't know how you do that. Just find it. There's two new t-shirts and two new mugs. Whoa. Oh my God. So yeah, these are all new designs. They're both podiots designs.

So if you're a big fan of podiots, you can finally get some lovely, lovely merch to wear on your chesticles. Oh. Oh. Ooh. Yeah, they should be on the store right now. And remember, use code vidiates for 10% of everything on the store. Oh, wow. I forgot about that. Yeah, so it still works. I checked it. So if you want to buy anything else. Yeah. There's something else you can buy. You can't use that code for it. But there is going to be a super exciting auction on the eBay's.

No. Yes. What could be possibly be selling? Well, we're selling. The original, the one, the only, Vidyat's canvas. Oh, no. Do you want something disgusting? Yeah, something disgusting and large in your house? Well, boy, do we have the auction for you.

For those who don't know what that is, do you want to describe it to them? It's a picture of Ben and Peter wearing... What were you, like... I think the chic was parent clothes. But it was just whatever we could find, really, just in the office at the time. So it's Ben and Peter donned in daddy chic. Face to face, a few inches apart. And in the middle of their two, what's the word?

Pucked lips. Yeah, puckered lips is Billy Ray Warras receiving a kiss on either side of his head from Ben and Peter. Oh, it's haunting. It's a true masterpiece. It's been in the Vidyat's law since before Vidyat's even began. Yes. Yeah. But now it's time to part with it because we don't have the space for,

for it and it's stinking up the office real mean so uh i believe again just like the merch that auction should be active right now and i believe that link will be in the description of this video and also on twitter yes so if you if you want to own that awful awful piece of history it's signed to bid on it oh yeah it's signed i forgot to say that by me ben peter and the actual real life billy ray walrus he signed it yeah he signed it he signed it with his little and these little flipper. So really, it's worth, it's invaluable, actually. So 10 billion.

There's only one like it in the world, and there's never going to be another. So you genuinely have an opportunity to own a one-off piece of signed Vidyat's history. It's been with us for a long time since the name redundant days. Per Ben had to, for some reason, Ben got the task of moving down to Bristol with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I had to pack it and everything, and then I brought it with us. and I'm just glad to see the back of it really

but you know what I think it'll go to a good home it was hung on the wall of the Vidyat's room for a good long time and hopefully someone out there is just radical and cool enough to bid on it and take it home there we get it. Final thing to say before we ride off into the sunset

is that Michael and I are using incredible blue Yeti microphones and these are very, very kindly been supplied by Blue Yeti themselves and everything that we do usually, I think, going forwards, streaming and podcast-wise, if Michael and I are talking into something, it's a Blue Yeti microphone.

And if you think it sounds amazing, which I do, in fact, there's a button on the back that I'm going to press, and it can make me go all around inside your brain area. Here we go. Bear with me. Bear with me. It's really hard to do because the button is very well made. Hang on.

It's just so well made, you can barely press it. What is this? Is it a binaural? No. Yeah, so you can get ESMR. Is it 360? Oh, now I'm over here. Do you hear that?

No. I'm over here. I think Discord. Oh. Moving over here. Do you hear that? I'm going to say yes. If I go round, it sounds like now I'm in your right here.

Okay. Well, I can keep, just play along. And now if I go all the way around here. Oh, my God. I'm in your left ear. Oh, wow. How enchanting. It's literally impossible to do that with any other microphone than a Blue Yeti.

Thanks, Blue. This is why we never got sponsors. Yeah. Thanks, Blue. Thanks, Blue. Blue Yeti microphones. We use them. Yeah, the button's hard to press.

Blue Yeti microphones. I'm over here now. Blue Yeti microphones. I had to use my sleeve to grip it. genuinely thank you very much to Blue for sending us to lovely microphones to help keep videos powering on yeah absolutely

if I sound less good that's because I am I'm speaking through another microphone that's not as good as Blue Yeti Ben you can edit this out can you like make Peter's audio sound really crap for the whole thing so Blue sounds really good and they like us more

yeah of course hang on let me just record some background noise for Peter And that's what it sounds like if you don't have a blue. Yeah. Precisely. Well, there we go, boys. We planned on it being quite succinct. Let me check the recording.

It's been 20 minutes. For us, that's pretty good. People expected that. I think that's all right. That's basically a standard video it's outro, isn't it? Yeah. Let's try and keep this little bit concise. We will be returning to podcast action.

Have we decided on a day that the podcast is going to drop? I guess we do now. It used to be Tuesday, didn't know? it did used to be Tuesday we should do Tuesday you think for all time's sake okay it's Tuesday then so democracy the Tuesday coming you'll get the next episode and the next episode after that will be two weeks later don't forget okay don't forget uh Twitch you'll be able to support us via donations and and so on and we'll announce that probably when we start streaming again so do look out for that as well check all of the links in the description below if you

want to find out more if you want to get yourself an amazing print or a nice new t-shirt or mug. Oohie. It would support us directly and we'd love you very much for it. Anything else you boys want to say? Uh, no. Um, no.

No. You don't. No. Can I do something I haven't done in a while? Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Thanks. Oh.

There we go. We did have a number of requests for that. Yeah, I was hoping I'd have a fart ready at some point over this recording, but that hasn't come to fruition. It's my fault for drinking water. I've got a great idea, guys. Yeah. How about we record two episodes back to

back right now and then in that time michael might be able to do a fart for everyone oh yeah possibly yeah yeah i can make that happen what a great idea wow thanks everyone for your patience thanks yeah yeah thank you there we go okay thanks boys thank you for backing me up that's all right we got that was awesome you really left me hanging uh ben do we have a question a question a question yeah oh do we what for what for what for the podcast we haven't started yet oh yeah yeah you're right are you okay

yeah I totally forgot we were still doing that fucking bullshit thing yeah Jesus Christ oh Jesus it's nice to be able to swear though yeah oh it is isn't it right let's go record some shiz shall we yeah okay let's let's do that

sorry I mean let's go record some shoot Ben do we have a no no no not yet Jesus Christ sorry if you want we can alternate topics so feel free to jump in when you feel like one is reaching its name Natural conclusions.

Oh. Natural conclusions. That's an exclusive resort. Where you go to assisted die. Natural conclusions. That's a really good name for one. Wow.

Yeah, I'd go there. It sounds peaceful. Have a bonoffee while you're to call it to the cold death. And that's the whole point. You're taking it into your own hands. Special after dark section you go to. You're smothered by.

leaves. Oh my gosh. Your chimp just rips your face off. You go really peacefully with dignity. Yeah. What they do is they put you like 70, 80% under. And then Jane Goodall just releases the chimps. Is Jane Goodall still alive?

I'd like to think so. She was the man inside Coco the gorilla. Yeah. Yeah, she was. She was the man. Yeah. A man inside of us. Jane Goodall.

What a reference. I know. I just thought chimps and I thought, Jane Goodall. Jane Goodall. I had a biology teacher called Mrs. Goodall. What's her in Jane? I think it might have been Jane. Oh my God, the real life Jane. It wasn't her, though. She didn't like me. She made me scrape

gum out from the underside of desks. Oh, that's not your job. No. Did you put it there? Was it just... Well, I was a quote-unquote naughty boy. Oh. And that I just didn't pay attention to her class. about gametes Gamm-eat

Gamm-eats Eat it Ben Eat the gum No Good old thing You will listen to the gametes Lesson Do you see what happens Ben

Do you think I like doing this There's one that's hair in it Good Oh God Why weren't you listening to the class about gametes Isn't that a sexy thing Gametes I think you're right

You know I just used gametes Because I think it's a funny biological word But actually, you're right, I believe it is a sexy thing. Yeah. Very sexy, actually, yeah. I'm looking at a good sperm here on Google.

Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. This is a sexy sperm. Something about the outer egg. Oh. I think Gami is just the word for a sex cell, so it can be the sperm or the egg. I think that's what Gamm eat means. That looks about right.

I didn't pay attention in my Gamm eat lesson. You should have been picking out gum with me then, Johnson. Shit. Should we actually jump into the actual bulk of this? Yeah, I don't even know where this is going to go in the recording. but it's probably got to go somewhere, right? Let's stick it at the end. I hope you enjoyed that.

We're back, bitches. Boom. Welcome.