Property Hub - Investment Insights & Inspiration - Get Invested: How lawyer turned life coach Laura Carrocci can help you live by design

Episode Date: April 27, 2019

With the pressure of a career, finances and family, you may be asking yourself "is this the life I want?" Our guest Laura Carrocci was here, before completely turning her life around – and now she specialises in helping others, like you, do the same. Laura is an accomplished lawyer turned life coach who helps you to design your life so that you can thrive in all areas with confidence, peace of mind, clarity and optimal wellbeing. She helps you get from where you are now to where you want to be. She helps you manage your emotions, manage your time and design the life you know you are here to live. She helps you take your knowledge and learning and put it into action, to design and create the ideal life you have always been yearning for, and to make you accountable for making it happen. So if you are serious about changing your life for the better, to move from good to great, and are seriously ready to do something about it, then you are about to find out how during this inspiring and motivating chat with Laura Carrocci. Laura's book recommendation: The Tao Te Ching by Laozi The Prophet by Khalil Gibran Get Invested is the podcast dedicated to time poor professionals who want to work less and live more. Join Bushy Martin, one of Australia’s top 10 property specialists, as he and his influential guests share know-how on the ways investing in property can unlock the life you always dreamed about and secure your financial future. Remember to subscribe on your favourite podcast player, and if you're enjoying the show please leave us a review. Find out more about Get Invested here https://bushymartin.com.au/get-invested-podcast/  Want to connect with Bushy? Get in touch here https://bushymartin.com.au/contact/  This show is produced by Apiro Media - http://apiropodcasts.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I think it's a challenge that a lot of professionals face. They go gung-ho into their career and they invest a lot of time and energy into it. But we're not taught at school or at university how to manage our emotions. We spend a lot of time educating our intellect and not a lot of time educating our emotions. I often think it would be fantastic if there was a subject at school or university on how to think and how to manage your emotions and how to design your life. Welcome to the Get Invested podcast, where we share great conversations with experts from all walks of life to uncover their secret know-how on where they invest their time, their skills and their money

and the benefits that this has created. You see, the truth is that everyone invests. Every minute of every day, we're investing our time, our skills, our energy and our money in something. Some of us are investing consciously, some unconsciously, sometimes for good, sometimes for bad, and sometimes for no impact. Get Invested will help you to start living by design, not by default. I'm going to help you to make it happen, not let it happen. You'll hear the top tips on how you can live with conscious intent

so that you can live more, work less, and leave a living legacy by investing now. Listen to the show to discover the top tips on how to get started, make the most of your investment journey, and ultimately, to be living your dream, not someone else's. More episodes can be found on iTunes or at bussymartin.com.au forward slash getinvested. Thanks for listening, and now, let's get invested. Hi, Fred and Fodders. Are you living your ideal life? Do you even know, remember, or have the time to know what your ideal life looks like?

If you do, how are you going about creating it and moving from where you are now to where you really want to be? Or are you like most people who step into your profession and have had some years working in your chosen career? You may have started a family or taken on some investments, and the shine is starting to rub off in terms of your job, your career and life with the often additional pressures of family and finances. You're feeling trapped on the treadmill, overwhelmed and just can't see a way out. You're starting to ask yourself questions about, is this where I really want

to be going? Is this the life that I really want? Is it sustainable? Is this as good as it's going to get? Do I want to continue living a life that isn't what I want, just to satisfy other people? Or am I going to step out, risk ridicule, risk failure, but be able to say that I had a go? You can either keep plodding away and walking a path that really isn't of your design, that guarantees that you won't rock any boats, but you'll certainly regret it long term. Or you can choose the alternative of stepping outside of your safe but suffocating comfort zone and living life on your own terms it's what i call living by design and not by default in my book the freedom formula so it's at these times we start asking ourselves some of the bigger

questions and look at how we can make some changes to ensure that our life and the way we are living is both sustainable, it's on our own terms, and it's working towards our own definition of success. And if this is where you're at, then you're really going to love this episode of Get Invested. Today's guest has been where you are and has completely turned her life around. And now, she specializes in helping others like you to do the same. Laura Karachi is an accomplished lawyer turned life coach who helps you to design your life so you can drive and thrive in all areas with confidence, peace of mind, clarity and optimal

well-being. She helps you to get from where you are now to where you really want to be. She helps you to manage your emotions, manage your time and design the life you know that you're here to live. She helps you to take advantage of your knowledge and your learning and put it into action to design and create the ideal life that you've always been yearning for and to make you accountable for actually making it happen. So if you're serious about changing your life for the better, to move from good to great and are seriously ready to do something about it, then you're about to find out how during this really inspiring and motivating chat with Laura Karachi.

Hi, Freedom Fighters. If you've been listening to Get Invested for some time now and or you've read my book, The Freedom Formula, you'll know how much importance I put on living by design, not by default. In other words, to make your life happen, not to let it happen. And today, I'm really excited

because we get to spend time with an expert in this endeavour. Someone who helps you learn, grow, evolve and design your life so that you can thrive in all areas. So I'm really excited to welcome aboard Laura Karachi. How are you, Laura? I'm good, thank you, Bushy. How are you? Awesome. Did I get your surname right? I didn't ask you about that. You certainly did. In fact, you're one of the few people that get it right the first go.

Awesome. Look, I think we share some very similar thinking around life and how to live it, so we're going to have an awesome chat today. But for those that don't know you or what you do, can you give us a bit of a rundown on that for me, please? So my business is in life coaching and consulting. I've been doing it for about the last four years now. And in terms of the work that I do, I work with individuals, organizations, and also have an online program for people to tap into in their own time and self-coach. And I work with people predominantly around designing their life

in terms of their health, their relationships and their career or purpose or contribution, whether that's in the home or in the office, in terms of designing their own life around their own definition of success. Yeah, awesome. Well, I'm going to come back to that definition of success as we go through it, because I think that's an important one, but why do you do what you do, Laura? Well, I guess it was a bit of a transition for me.

My earlier career was as a criminal lawyer, both in defence and prosecution for 10 years, which people think is a big change to have made, and what I saw in that career for myself and for the vast majority of people that I worked with was a lifestyle and a way of working and living that was not sustainable in terms of long-term success if we look at success being having a sense of purpose and accomplishment in our work but also having a sense of good health and strong relationships and so that observation and experience for myself was what triggered an interest in coaching but when I reflect on it and in terms of thinking about that preparing for the podcast today, I realised that an interest in personal development,

professional development, and that piece around having a life and a way of living that is on your own terms is something that I think was really built into me from childhood, having parents who are self-employed and who very much designed their life. And I look back at reading books when I was sort of in my late years at high school and early university around Eckhart Tolle's, I've got my emails beeping on me, Bushy, I'll stop that, when I look at some of the books that I read early on and I reflect back and go, I was on that path much sooner, but it was a little bit in the background, it wasn't until I was in my career and it started to be more front of mind and really obvious in my own life that that transition

became important yeah okay well let's go there i'd like to sort of dig in a bit to the early days if we can laura and just uh sort of share with us uh where you invested your time your thinking and your skills and most importantly why what were the motivations for the decisions you made early on so let's go right back to the high school days and and talk a bit more about that family environment and then uh talk to us about how that led you from high school into law and and from there onwards yeah so i was raised um a big family i'm the oldest of four and i was i was raised in a in an environment where we were encouraged to be ambitious um to be self-sufficient and the importance of economic independence,

particularly for girls, was a strong message that was given to me by my parents. We were all very much encouraged to go to university and have a profession and all of us did do that. And I would say I was a pretty ambitious, driven kid from early on and was very involved. I was your typical nerd, I guess, very involved in debating and that sort of thing at school.

And law was a pretty obvious thing for me, being strong in humanities, public speaking, debating, but not strong in maths and sciences. And so law just seemed like the natural progression for me. And I had a strong sense of social justice and was raised in a family where the importance of taking care of and standing up for those less fortunate than us was an underpinning value for our family. And that's where criminal law came in for me I saw it as an opportunity to work with people who are often seen by society as um as um problematic but when you scratch the surface and realize um their own stories are ones of neglect um and horrific stories of mental health and suffering you see

it as a profession where you can certainly what you hope to make a difference and to help And that is where it does align with coaching on a different level entirely, but it is a helping profession where you're looking to be of service to others and to make an impact. One challenge for me, however, when I stepped into my legal career was the challenge of maintaining my health and well-being while working in that space. And I think it's a challenge that a lot of professionals face. and they go gung-ho into their career and they invest a lot of time and energy into it but we're not taught at school or at university how to manage our emotions we spend a lot of time educating our intellect and not a lot of time educating our emotions I often think it'd be fantastic if there was a subject at school or university on how to think and how to manage

your emotions and how to how to um how to design your life and i was talking to you earlier before we we started up recording today about a course at university at stanford university around life design and i wish that was something we saw in all universities um and so i think it's a challenge that a lot of people face when they step into their profession and often they've had their first few years working um in in whatever chosen career and maybe um they start to have have a family or take on more investments. And there's the shine, I guess, has rubbed off in terms of new job, new career. And often there's additional pressures of family and finances. And we start to ask the questions about, is this where I want to really be going?

Is this the life I want? Is this sustainable? And it's at that time, certainly it was for me, and I see it for a lot of my clients, we start to ask some of the bigger questions and look at how we can make some changes to ensure that our life and the way we're living is sustainable it's on our own terms and it's working towards our own definition of success and so that was definitely the transition for me what really triggered it for me though was the journey of becoming a mum and having a family I went through IVF and I expected some challenges I'd been diagnosed early in my teenage years with some fertility issues and so soon after getting married decided it was time to start start trying for a family and it was about two and a half almost three years of

fertility treatment and at that time I was working as a prosecutor at the director of public prosecutions here in South Australia and that was I guess the tipping point for me the icing on the cake. It was easy to manage a challenging and at times stressful career. I think a lot of people have those sorts of jobs. But then going through the process of IVF, it really challenged me to look at the way I was living and question if it was sustainable, if it was healthy. And my answers to both of those questions were no. And that was the tipping point in terms of transitioning into coaching a big decision i having been through a similar decision making process for slightly different reasons myself 20 over 20 years ago to put your life into law and and to the outside

world i'm sure you looked extremely successful the professional woman making a big mark in that fraternity, how did you have the courage and the strength to manoeuvre through that? Because I'm sure there would have been some people that would have been critical of that manoeuvre. Share with us your thoughts and feelings around that time. It's interesting you're saying that. It makes me remember. It's funny.

You introduce yourself to people at a drinks or a function. You say you're a lawyer. People immediately think you're clever and they want to have a chat with you. And when you say you're a life coach, you see immediately a different response sometimes. And, you know, that really sums it up. It is a big change and a lot of people question that. And a lot of people, I always think it's funny when I tell people what I'm doing and some people say it's cute. Cute.

That's cute. But, you know, and you have to realize that making any change in life is at times going to bring questions, you know. And if anything, from my parents who'd, you know, from a certain generation where they thought you'd become a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer or a teacher, it's a profession, you don't go and be a life coach, all the way through to other friends and family who would have questioned that. My husband was very supportive of that.

And I think for me having parents who were self-employed helped me have the confidence to know that I could do it on my own. um and also i i think i'm someone who is probably because of my upbringing and my family background being able to make those strong decisions in terms of um being able to separate other people's expectations and responses to my own drive and desires that's been something that i've always been able to manage fairly well and I had to ask myself the question and I think we all have to ask it at some point do I want to continue living a life that isn't what I want to satisfy other people or am I going to step out risk ridicule risk failure but be able to say I had a go

and I think that's a decision we all have to sometimes make in life and you know one choice to keep plodding away and walking a path that really isn't of your design guarantees you of not rocking any boats, but certainly regret, you know, when your day comes. And the alternative of taking the risk and what I call it stepping out of the cave and closing the cave door, yeah, you risk failure and you risk ridicule, but one thing's for sure, you won't have that regret when your time comes.

Absolutely. I guess I know when I went through that transition myself, Laura, the biggest challenge was with myself because I sort of carried this little voice in my head saying, well, people are going to see you as a failure as an architect and, you know, as an architect it's a very closed profession where if you leave it then there's something wrong with you. So I've actually had this ongoing challenge of almost early on trying to justify to people why I'm doing this when what I was actually doing

is trying to justify it to myself. Did you have similar discussions in your own head and similar feelings? I did. And I think there's an element of truth to what you're saying, though. Within every profession, there are groups of people who will say, oh, you couldn't hack it. You weren't tough enough, you know. um and and some people expect a story from you to say oh look you know it was a terrible job and it

was stressful and I had a burnout moment and I didn't have any of that um I didn't have a rock bottom in terms of having a breakdown or you know all all jobs can be stressful at different times and I look back now and you know most of the stress was my inability to manage my own emotions and mindset um but there is always going to be people who say you couldn't hack it the interesting thing is i was only two weeks ago at a barbecue um with a number of number of families and at this function there probably would have been 30 people and i met five lawyers all women surprisingly who were all under 40 and all said that they were retired doing different things doing new things but i do find it interesting that getting to that sort of that point of mid to late 30s i'm meeting

so many um typically female sometimes male lawyers who are describe themselves as retired lawyers and they're doing different things in in different areas and i think you know there's always going to be that those people that might judge but also the i agree with you the biggest challenge is with yourself and asking yourself that question do you want to choose choose the risk that you know the opportunity the path of risking failure or are you just going to toe the line and guarantee yourself of regret it's a tough question to answer and you've got to lie lie in bed with whichever one you decide to take yeah and it's i mean there's golden handcuffs a lot of people because they've got families and they've got commitments and they've got mortgages

and they've built this sort of lifestyle inflation around them to the point where making that jump can be not only emotionally big but financially big so it is takes a lot of courage and strength and support around to do that. And you mentioned the support of your partner. Talk to us a little bit about that. How was he able to make you feel more comfortable with making that quite major transition? Yeah, he was very supportive in terms of the decision to change

and to move into a different area entirely and to set up my own business, et cetera. My husband has, you know, works and runs his own business, a construction business with his brother. so again self-employed and has that independence and I think when you've got someone whether it be a partner or a mentor just someone in your life who is also working in a self-employed capacity that can be really reassuring and they have a perspective that I think a lot of people who might have been working the nine-to-five or working for someone else don't yeah and so his

support was fantastic in terms of managing you know family finances we gave ourselves a six month block where we said you know this is where we just realized there's we're not going to put the pressure on my business and six months to get things moving I think a big mistake a lot of people make when they step into a a new career or a new role or they go out in their own consulting or coaching is that they don't realize their skills are transferable and they often under pitch their value. I had a fantastic coach and in terms of support, another arm of that support was not just my husband, but also I got myself my own coach and she was fantastic in terms of supporting me through that transition and also encouraging me to see the value in what I was doing and not

underpitch that yeah and also realize you're going sorry go ahead no go i think also to realize that you know it might be better to to charge a bit more and work less than not charge enough and be running around working crazy hours yes and that was some of the best advice i got early on very good advice well the courage to uh recognize at that point the value of getting a coach because There's many people going, oh, gee, I can't afford it. I've got to scrimp and save now. You know, our income's going to drop substantially. Having the foresight to see the merits in engaging a coach,

talk us through your thinking there, please, Laura. Yeah, 100%. You know, it's funny, though. I had exactly what you were saying, oh, you know, shouldn't spend that money because I ended up working with a coach out of Melbourne who, you know, she wasn't cheap and I was like, oh, I shouldn't be doing it. And my husband said, don't be ridiculous.

If this is what you want to do, you need to get one. And so I was really encouraged to do that and it was the best thing I did in terms of helping me design the path forward and set some goals and some stepping stones and really keeping me accountable. It was a fantastic thing and we worked together for a year and that was very important in terms of setting up the structure for my business and also just pushing me to get out there and pitch what I was doing and push things out a bit

because what also had happened is I'd obviously had my legal career. I'd also consistently throughout that time I was a lawyer within the Air Force, Specialist Reserve. So I'd stopped working at the DPP whilst having my two children and continued doing a bit of Defence Force work. and it was in that time that I decided to set up the business. So in some ways I'd also been a little bit out of the loop in terms of the corporate scene here in Adelaide.

I'd been doing the Defence Force work but that is not so much in terms of the corporate community here in Adelaide. And so I really had to push myself to reach out, get to some lunches, get to some breakfast, get meeting some people again and just having someone to give me a little nudge To do that was really important and to get a list and make the contacts and make sure you make so many phone calls a day and create that momentum. So, yeah, investing in a coach was a really important piece.

Yeah, so for those that are listening today who, and let's face it, we're talking about the real merits of engaging potentially yourself as a life coach. Why would they do it and what are the benefits to them of doing so? I think in terms of working with a coach it helps you get out of the field of play so in terms of all of our lives mine included when we're just going about our day-to-day paying the bills getting work done doing what we need to do for our clients and customers we're on the field we're in in the play of the game and we don't have that bird's eye perspective and we expect our husband

or our partner or our boss or our mentor to be our coach but often they're on the field with us whether it's paying the bills or managing the home life or in at work dealing with dealing with the jobs at hand and by working with a coach you have someone who is independent impartial and they're there to ask you the tough questions that often um and let's be honest all the time your partner and your boss and the people on the field with you aren't there to ask you and often don't have those questions for you and don't have those skills and so it's getting someone to get you off the field of play into the grandstand to take a good look at your life. I think in terms of today what we see increasingly is people being caught up in overwhelm, in stress, in not having

enough time and what they see is one area of their life suffering whether it's their health their relationships or their career and business and a coach helps you get the foundations right first and those foundations certainly from my perspective are those three main areas your health your relationships and your sense of purpose which comes down to your values your priorities your goals and your aspirations and so initially working with a coach that's what you should be getting solid because if that's not solid there's no point building above that and then as you continue to work with a coach it's about looking at how you can put in place some high performance habits so that you can build upon that so you have sustainable success long term and keep some

momentum moving towards goals and aspirations but in a way that aligns with your sense of success and also in a way that allows you to enjoy the process rather than always feeling like you have to be pushing ahead. Does that make sense? I mean, a lot of people feel like it's all about growth and goals and I'll be happy in 10 years' time when the kids leave home and I'm not paying school fees and I can go skiing. And it's like, no, you can actually have a sense of joy

and happiness along the way while still moving towards those bigger goals and aspirations. Yeah, that's spot on. Let's drill right into that because you're absolutely right. and I was guilty of this for many years as well Laura it was always I'll be happy when I get to the destination and in the meantime I'm this sprinter I think that's the human curse

it's the human curse yeah it must be and in the meantime you're pushing, pushing you're sprinting you're exhausted constantly you're feeling I'm not good enough I'm not doing enough yeah I'm focusing on the 1% I get wrong

rather than the 99% I get right What advice do you have for the listeners in terms of those sort of high-performance habits that might help them in starting to enjoy their days today? I think the biggest lesson for any of us to learn, and I'd like to deal with that in two parts, I think the biggest lesson before we start changing habits and hacks and trying to look at how to increase our productivity, et cetera,

I think the biggest lesson that we have to learn and to realise is that until we realise we are enough and that we've got everything within us we need right now to be happy, we can choose to be happy and to be content with what we've got right now, we're not going to be able to sustain long-term success. because if your idea is you'll be happy once you reach a million or reach two million or once you get the kids to move out of home or you pay off the mortgage, that is like a never-ending hamster wheel because we've all done it before, right? Like we're told, you know, just finish year 12 and, you know, get 99.9, life will be great. Okay, just finish uni and get that first job, you'll be happy.

We do that. Now you just need to get the promotion or get married, for God's sake. we all get told that get married and life will be perfect or have a baby and it just keeps going we get to the top of the mountain and we realize no there's another one there's another one and so realizing that you have the opportunity to decide to have a sense of happiness where you are now and once you get to that people go but then why would I want to keep moving forward I'll lose my mojo I'll lose my my drive but I what I see is that's the complete opposite once you realize that you have an understanding that you have potential and possibility within to move forward but you

can do that in a way that's aligned to what you truly want as opposed to thinking that there's something out there that's going to make you happier yes so once we get to that place of realizing i'm all good there's nothing wrong with me and i can move forward but without that grasping idea that i'll be happy in a couple of years time then you can start to put in place some goals and aspirations for your future but also start managing what's going on right now in terms of how you manage your time how you manage your mind and what I mean by that is the questions you're asking yourself your mindset and a lot of us are going through our days with a story running in our head of I'm busy I'm rushed can the traffic bloody hurry up what about this what about that

And we're going at this high pace of stress all day long. And sure, we've all got a lot on our plate. We're all busy and we're all tired, right? Yeah. But a lot of our tiredness and our busyness is created by the sentences we've got going on in our mind. We make it much bigger than it needs to be. You're following me on that?

Totally, absolutely, 100%, yep. And in terms of managing that, That's the biggest high-performance habit you can come back to, looking at what's going on in here, what are the sentences I've got going every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, and how can I start reframing them in a way that's actually helpful? And I think that's a big one. In terms of managing time, I look at it's not just having a to-do list

and scheduling your day, but how can you start reducing the decisions you're making every day? and what that looks like is how can you start automating your morning so a lot of us wake up in the morning and people you know what am I going to wear what's the weather you know what am I doing today you know where am I having my coffee how can you automate it how can you reduce your work wardrobe create a bit of a uniform for yourself how can you have a habit in the morning of coffee at the same place or the same breakfast what can you do to reduce those decisions and it sounds really simple but a lot of us have made so many random decisions before we even sit down at our

desk in the morning we've wasted a lot of our mental energy um for the things that really matter on random stuff like checking the weather and what am i going to wear today yeah and then how can you do some things in your evening that create a ritual that's a little bit sort of self focused on self-care where you you know make sure you're getting to bed at a certain time How can you do your scheduling for the next day in the evening rather than when you wake up? Little things like that sound really simple and a lot of us brush over them. That's where I see clients making some of the biggest, easiest gains. Automate your morning, ritualize your evening, create your schedule for the next day, the night before, and really invest some time in planning.

um they're the that's a really big one i think for people in terms of asking yourself better questions reframing what's going on in inside your head and that's the constant work for all of us and then really taking responsibility for how you're spending your time because a lot of us think we're using all of our time we're not we're spending a lot of it on what we think's urgent a lot of it on the busyness the busy work and we're not moving forward we're not actually taking massive action and doing things each day that move us forward towards the things we say are really important. Yeah, that's so true.

Just to share an example with you on that, and it's something that's taken my wife and I a long time to crystallise, but I'm a morning person, so I like to put the fun part into the morning. So we wake up in the morning, and the first thing my wife and I do, and we don't have young kids either, so we've got this luxury. but we have a gratitude session so I'll say thank you for a half a dozen things and she'll say thank you for a half a dozen things yeah and then we verbalize to each other how the day is going to go so we're we are talking about so we've got this this meeting and it's this meeting is going to

go really well because we're going to get these outcomes and it sort of sets sets the tone and And then we do some exercise and then I'm a closet penis and a very bad one, but I spend 20 minutes to half an hour on the piano. And then I'm ready for the day. I actually feel like I've put the big rocks in and I'm actually ready and I'm actually looking forward to the day. And then it's amazing how well the days then go. And what you're doing there, Bushy, is you're visualizing.

And when it comes to some of the habits that I think are really important, And it's getting up, I mean, for me included, getting up early, going to bed early, in the morning having a routine, and visualization in terms of, you know, I encourage even with kids, I've got kids, get in the shower in the morning and visualize that day ahead. And a lot of people do, and, you know, when you talk about talking about how your day is going to go, that's a practice of in many ways going,

this is how I'm going to go through my day with this sort of energy and these are the sort of outcomes I'm going to get. and that sets your brain up for success in the day, you know, as you move forward. It sets the tone of the feeling. I think the biggest thing I take from it, Laura, is that I'm feeling good about the day right from the get-go and that feeling tends to carry me through somehow.

Absolutely, and it's contagious. Emotions are contagious and people go, what do you mean by that? And I say, well, you know, when was the last time you spent time with someone who was really stressed, stressed and flushed and how did you walk away from that? Or you spend time with someone who's really blue and down in the dumps and how did you walk away from that? And so if you approach your day with a certain energy,

and I often encourage clients in the morning to decide three emotions that are going to drive you today. And if it's a Sunday and you're with your family, you might want to be connected and present and calm. But if you've got a big day at work and, you know, you're pitching or you've got a big meeting with a client, you might want to be focused and disciplined and clear. And if you set those intentions and step into that energy,

it's contagious and it feeds all of those around you. And it's a really important practice. That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, and it's such a simple thing to do. The simple thing is always make the difference and they're the things that we drop first, right? Aye.

it's it's it's so easy to do but therefore so easy not to do and there's also this uh that that can't be it there's got to be a bigger thing so i'll brush over that and and then never actually enjoy the benefits of what such a little thing that can be done every day can make such a massive difference over the the long haul and that's the and that's the thing right we we think that there's something outside of us we want it to be a gym membership or a course or someone else that gives us the golden solution because although it is easy you know in in in when we say just do a gratitude visualize identify some energy or emotion that you want to bring to your day have some routine spend some time planning it sounds easy but we resist doing it

because well i think we resist doing it because we like to be drawn to immediate pleasure and we've got so much so we resist the things we know intellectually are good for us right i should sleep well eat well exercise plan my day have some intentions take responsibility for my emotions so if i say that to you go yeah that makes sense i should do that and so intellectually we get that but in the moment our brain wants to get on instagram or facebook or reply to those emails that have been binging at us in the morning, which is one of the worst things you can do first thing in the morning. It makes you reactive instead of proactive.

But we're drawn to that immediate pleasure that we have in our life. We want to have a piece of toast and a cup of coffee and, you know, get on the phone with our friend or we want to have a look at what other people have been doing on Instagram and that's what pulls us off track. But once we realise that, it's key to go, okay, intellectually I know this is what I need to do. So if I plan it the night before and I start to create a habit and then we set, you know, we self-coach ourself and then the next, the hardest job is to then show up and have some discipline and do what you said you were going to do, even though in the moment your brain wants to be distracted with other things.

It's so true. That's work and that's where a coach makes you accountable because every month, twice a month or once a month when you sit down with them and it goes quickly. I have clients that go, I can't believe another four weeks or two weeks has gone by and you start to have someone who you're accountable to and that's when you start to get some momentum because all the learning and the tips

and the tools and the reading that we do feels good but the only thing that gets us there is starting to take some action. Like you said, sitting down, doing the gratitude and creating a way of living that you hold yourself accountable to and that you're disciplined in showing up for, even though in the moment sometimes you prefer to be having a beer or doing something else.

Yeah, I love that. Absolutely love that. Well, let's go into the whole concept of designing your life, which is something that you help people with day to day. And let's make it personal. Can you just describe to us what your ideal life looks like, Laura? I think in terms of ideal life, there's the overall, you know, what do I want to be doing and what do I want to be moving forward to?

And what jumps up for me is things like I want to ski as much as I possibly can in this lifetime. And then there's those goals and aspirations moving forward in the years to come. I want to build our family home again. we've built once and we want to build again and then overall I want to work with my clients and my kids and I want to help my clients and raise my kids to be strong to know their worth and to pursue their own definition and version of success but then when you say what is my ideal

life you've got to look at what's your ideal day and for me an ideal day is to get up early to exercise to eat good food to cuddle my kids and to do work that makes a difference in the lives of others and helps others that's of service and if I tick all those boxes and get to go skiing a couple of times a year that's enough for me and people can say that sounds very similar but what very simple and but what I do know is if I do that and I do that well if i show up and it's some of the best advice that i was ever given and it was given to me by a barrister who said do good work and the money follows and it's been true in in both my careers if you show up and you do good work you be of service and you ask yourself how can i help my

kids my client the people i'm serving how can i help them and do something for them that's going to help them move forward, you get the rewards in terms of, you know, satisfaction with your job and also financially. Yeah, that's beautiful advice. Okay, well, for those that are sort of just coming to grips with this whole concept because for a lot of people, life happens to them because we're just so busy, how do you go about helping them to start to design their life?

yeah well so when someone first starts to work with me if they're working i have sort of two streams in terms of the work i do i've got an online program where people um do a self-coaching program and i set that up for people who financially couldn't afford investing in private coaching which is expensive and so that steps them through 12 classes and helps them in terms of the concept or my coaching ethos of designing your life and then I work privately one-on-one with clients which is more personalized and intensive and obviously face-to-face but they follow a similar program I guess except for my clients who I've been working with for a number of years now which are stepping into a more advanced form of coaching but in terms of where

you start and I think I mentioned earlier we start with the foundations getting those foundations right in terms of your health and when i talk about health i'm talking about where are you at physically in your physical health in your mental and emotional health and we look at things like sleep nutrition movement and mindset we then look at your relationships your intimate relationships family relationships social and work and purpose and a lot of people come to coaching and it's often because there's a sense of urgency to change some area of their life they might be having challenges in their career or in their personal life and they feel like things need to change but we always pause for a minute and rather than think we need to jump ship at work or jump ship

at home is let's just come back to that sense of purpose in terms of values, priorities, goals and aspirations. We look at where we're spending our time and I always say people actually don't need to tell me where they're spending their time just show me your bank balance and your diary and I'll tell you what your values and your priorities are your bank statement and we see where are you actually spending your time and clients spend some time looking at that and often are very shocked at how much time is spent in areas that if they were being intentional about how they were living they would not be putting their time and energy there yeah once we get that foundation right then we start moving towards those high performance habits and also in terms of designing that

life the life that you want based on your own version of success and that's a big question that clients need to look at what is your definition of success and for a lot of people they are moving towards a definition of success that was theirs when they were 16 or 20 or was their dads or their mums or their mentors and they haven't checked in and seen how perhaps their life their values and their priorities have changed in the last 20, 30 years. And when we look at it, often your version of success is very different to the path that you're on. And I get clients to start looking at who are you becoming?

What are you growing towards and moving towards? And we identify that in terms of some goals and aspirations. And then we look at managing the mind, which is constant work for coaching. it's that it's the most important work of our lifetime managing your mindset managing your emotions and how you show up in your work and in your personal life we look at things around managing and dealing with what I will call upper limit issues so when we are stepping into that next version of ourselves when we're pushing our business to that next level or when we're pushing ourselves in terms of our health or stepping into a new

relationship whatever it is we often come up against self-sabotage fear comparison shame we are often closed to the wisdom of others the issues around control and perfectionism and where people can often be not listening to their own inner wisdom so they're what I call upper limit issues we also do a lot of space work around visualization which you talked about earlier and the importance of visualisation, which some people can feel like it's a bit woo-woo, but then when I talk to them about, well, how do you think an actor or Barack Obama or a politician or a prime minister or a barrister, I've seen it working with barristers, when they step up, they've spent a lot of time visualising how they're going

to make that address, how they're going to make that speech, how they're going to present that pitch and it it allows you to step into that next version of yourself so if you are working towards being a better public speaker or a better boss or a better husband or wife if you're working towards showing up more for your kids in a different way being more present you've got to spend some time visualizing that what does that look like how does it feel so that when the time comes your brain's been primed to do that so we do a lot of work around visualization um we do a lot of work around identity so what i mean by that is looking at what is your the identity you're stepping into your best self so how do you want to show up um at home and that's

a big one for people so how do i want to when i step from work into home how do i want to show up what energy do i want to bring and we also look at issues around discipline which is a big one i just said spoke about that before it's great we can do the planning and the scheduling and the organizing which is part of getting the foundations right but then we're going to show up and do the work and that's the hardest piece right is is taking that action yeah so and another big piece is discipline I spoke about it earlier it's the hardest work is we can spend a lot of time automating and planning and scheduling and buying diaries and special things to help us with our time management but the biggest challenge is showing up and doing what we said we would do

even though sometimes in the moment we don't want to and that is a skill that and people say oh you're so disciplined or you know I'm not as disciplined as you and discipline is a habit and a practice that you can develop and generate with some intention another big piece for a lot of people is clearing space it sounds really crazy but you know you look around your office or wherever you are right now listening to this podcast and a lot of us have a lot of stuff and i often say that the messiness in our environment often reflects the messiness in our minds so if you've got an office or a house or a car that's covered in stuff and it's got bits and pieces everywhere and bills piled up it tends to suggest to me that you've also got a messy mind a lot of

sort of reactive thoughts and a reactive lifestyle and so clearing up your space and creating some space in your home and your office sounds simple makes a big difference in terms of people energetically and how they show up and then as we continue to work together we start to look at some quite specific and advanced coaching areas in and around things like taking massive action so making sure every day you are taking action that gets you a result that moves you towards whatever your goal is for that year or or that month and making sure that there's momentum and a good energy we look at asking better questions so that ties in with managing mindset so looking at how can you learn to reframe in the moment so many of us are focused and our brains go to looking at

problems or ask you know we go through our day going why did that happen but this isn't right what's the matter with them and training your brain to be focused on solutions not towards negativity most of us have a negativity bias um some and then some more specific skills around And particular clients, by and large all clients, often have issues in terms of numbing out. And what I mean by that is what I tend to see is people typically overeat, overdrink, overshop, over Netflix, over TV. But often all of us have something we go to when we feel a bit stressed. And that ties into those upper limit issues I was talking about. So I don't know if you'll tell me, Bushy, what yours is,

but we all have something we go to when we're a bit stressed out. Some people it's a glass of wine or a block of cheese or online shopping, and we do that to avoid the work we need to be doing at the time that's actually what we say is really important to us. And that's a big piece of coaching. Yeah, I've got two of them that are a constant struggle for me. I love food, so that's my go-to. if I'm having a bad day is I'll go and eat something.

Yeah, yeah. And I love coffee, which is probably the worst thing because I'll just rev myself up and increase the anxiety. But they are just bad habits. And that's a big piece for people. Yeah, and again, it comes down to what seems simple but feels hard and that's reframing the habits and you're thinking around that. it is simple but there's a reason why you know their huge industry is around diet um and you

know there's lots of issues around shopping and social media is because they're things that when we overdo them they have a net negative consequence in our lives and all of us know or have experienced in our lives at different times where these things have ended up controlling us managing us instead of us managing them and getting a handle on that's really important if people want to be high performers in a way that's sustainable long-term. I don't know about you, Laura, but this sort of tendency towards more what I'd almost class as addictive behaviour, whether it be overeating or over social mediaing or over whatever it happens to be,

Is that a direct relation, do you think, to the level of constant time pressure and stress that we now live our lives? I think, look, I would agree that people are more on, more time stressed and more under pressure, perhaps than ever before. And so what happens is when we're pushed to the limit, our brain looks for immediate pleasure. Yeah. Okay, and so immediate pleasure is I'll just get on Instagram and look at pretty things or I'll just have a glass of wine or eat 20 olives. So it's a normal thing. Our brain wants that dopamine hit. And when we allow ourselves to be reactive and continue that, what happens is we develop an addiction and we end up being controlled by the phone in our hand

or the glass in our hand or the fridge in the evening or the Netflix remote. And a big piece for a lot of my clients is, first of all, admitting that they are what I call numbing out. So we're numbing out from the normal pressures of life by doing something that in the moment feels good, that chocolate feels good, that buy on the online shopping feels good or turning on the TV or having a glass.

it feels good in the moment but it doesn't the next day or the next week or when you get your bank balance overall it's having a net negative consequence and once we start to see that a lot of my coaching is around helping people start to manage that and for some people it's saying right i'm not drinking anymore for others it's having a protocol around when they shop when they watch tv um what they eat um so that it isn't driving the bus they start they get back in the driver's seat so to speak around those habits that um by and large i see everyone everyone has their go-to to numb out yeah um and it's important that we keep a handle on that because these things are addictive and if you don't keep a handle on it it will start to manage you absolutely and i guess

the the sort of unforeseen or or subtle benefit of of making the change is the the the confidence that then gives you to start building on that absolutely yeah really interesting for so many clients you know when you when you say that it makes me think of clients who you know they come and they might they might lose some weight or they might um start to really schedule their take some take control over how they manage their time work little things like that once they tick that box the confidence they have to step out and do something new is huge clients who lose a lot of weight and then go i could do anything and they do they go on to change their relationships or their career because that that confidence you get you realize 90 of it is managing your mind and

showing up and doing the work um we know we think that you know none of it's actually rocket science we can all get knowledge and it's true like you know we can most things in life you can do you can learn how to do it the key is learning how to be disciplined and manage your mindset and show up and do it and once you know that you can literally do whatever you want yeah i love that absolutely love it it's funny i've often said i think i've read somewhere that the key to freedom is discipline absolutely 100 it seems like a contrarian almost but uh certainly my own experience that has certainly been the case tell me a big part of uh the world that we live in is uh developing the courage to be able to say no uh and i'm sure you've you've

come across this a lot particularly with people who are high achieving because they're always feeling like they've got to do more and be more. People-pleasing. Talk to us a bit about that. How do you help people to come to grips with that one? Because in terms of daily habits, that I would have thought is a pretty big influence on where people end up heading. Look, in terms of saying no, people love to say, look, I really struggle to say no. And ultimately what that means is you're a people-pleaser.

and you know it sounds a little bit in your face but what I say to people is people pleasers are liars because what you're effectively doing is saying yes when inside you're screaming no and it's enabling often disabling for other people whether it's in your office always taking on everyone else's work or helping out and neglecting your own or in your home or in your you know in the school environment or in your relationships and what that guarantees you of is living someone else's version of an ideal life and not your own and in terms of having being able to feel the courage to say no because often people go all right but how do I how do I help myself have the courage to start to say no to things and organizing and planning your time is

key because what you can say is no i i can't fit that in right now but when you don't plan your day because let's be honest you cannot you can fit it you will fit into your day whatever is important to you yeah and so if you're not scheduling your day your week your month your year if you're not planning it if you're not identifying what your highest values and priorities are and making sure that those priorities and values show up in your diary every day then you'll start saying yes to everyone else's values and priorities and you'll spend a lot of time building someone else's dream life and not your own and so the key is planning organizing but also making the key shift in your mind from instead

of wearing that people please a badge like it's a badge of honor realizing that that actually is it means liar you are lying and flipping that from being a badge of honor to something that actually you don't want to continue to do, that it's not a character trait that you want to have anymore is key because it's taking away the shine of being a people pleaser. Yeah, it's interesting you say that. And coming back to that planning piece, again, I attribute this to my marvellous wife, Sonia.

We live out of our diaries. and the white space, if someone comes in with something unexpected, if the white space ain't there, it doesn't happen or it happens later. Yep, later on, absolutely. It's just amazing how much that has changed our whole enjoyment of life because we actually feel like we've got time. I don't feel harried anymore as a result of that because we're realistic about our expectations

and we communicate those expectations to others so that they're very clear on, yes, I'll do it, but it won't happen until when. And then with the technology we have today and the ability for people to be able to, without me having this backwards and forwards phone and email thing, people are able to book into a time that's vacant in the diary without you or me having to worry about it. It's just completely changed. Changed the game.

Oh, massive, massive. And a big piece for a lot of clients is realising, and people realize this quite quickly if you are very reactive to other people's demands you can often feel like it's urgent like other people are placing an urgency on you so you're always in reactivity saying yes yep i'll fit it in yep i'll get it done and you can feel that some that way sometimes if if you work in an industry or a job where you've got clients with particular demands and when people start to really take responsibility for their scheduling in their diary and making sure their priorities are showing

up in their diary and start to say, look, no, I can't today, I can deal with that next week. They realise that a lot of clients and customers and friends have actually been pushing a sense of urgency on them that wasn't real. They've been pushing this idea that the deadline is Friday when actually the deadline could actually be in two weeks' time. Yeah.

And so once you start to say, look, no, I actually can't be reactive, one, it makes other people start taking responsibility for their own scheduling and diarying and they don't put last-minute requests on you anymore. Yeah. And they start to come to you earlier on in the piece. But also you realise that you've often been reactive to a sense of urgency that actually wasn't there. Yes. Yes, that's a very good point. And for someone who's in an employed situation, if the listeners who their boss is constantly coming to them

and saying, do this, do that, if you've managed your diary, they've got access to your diary and they come and do that, then you have the ability to say, right, well, this is what I was going to do today. Is this more important than that? You tell me. You make the call. Yes, you tell me what's urgent.

Yeah, it flips its lid and it gives you an opportunity then for them to understand where you're at. Because let's face it, if I want to go and see a doctor, I just don't ring the doctor and say, I want to see you at 9 o'clock. They tell me, and normally it's next week sometime. Yeah, exactly. And what it's communicating to people is that you actually put a value on your time rather than I'm here at your beck and call to do whatever you want,

whenever you want, and the lack of self-esteem that flows and self-worth that flows out of that reactive process would then have a flow-on effect to everything else too, I'd imagine. Yeah, absolutely. um i'm loving this this is i could talk to you for hours but um it's something that i i uh wanted sort of slightly pivot on if i can is around the subject that uh you know i i'm a like yourself i just love personal development i think i've read every book known to men and women uh around that subject over the last 30 odd years and one of the everyone likes to talk about fulfillment and

freedom and what i consistently find is that the ones who have time on their hands are the ones who have set themselves up financially in the western world at least so that they can do so and and what i found about them is that they tend to not only invest in their their work and their career and their income but they also invest their time energy money in things that will grow an asset base that'll then put them in themselves in a position where they get their time back. Given what you've talked about, clearly the big investment for yourself and your husband at the moment is in your businesses, but what do you invest in that will ultimately give you an asset base that will sustain your income and therefore sustain your lifestyle long

term? yeah look because of my husband's work and my background um in farming and and land um we invest in property um and that makes sense for us um given the position that we're in as a family and that sets us up in terms of passive income um going forward in the future um for not just us but also our children that's that's where where we focus on um outside of obviously our our jobs and that providing you know day-to-day income and cash flow yeah so can you put a little bit of color around that so what type of property is that is it a buy build hold is it a is it a build and sell can you sort of uh just expand on that a little bit for us yeah well our background is

Obviously, in terms of farming, that's rural land and my father and my brother are in farming and so there's obviously opportunities to adjust and to invest in that sense and they run it and manage it. And then in terms of, what's the word, within cities, it's always industrial and commercial property, not residential. And why the focus on industrial commercial, or if you don't want me asking. Simply because of the connections we have and the work that we do

and that's just what we know best. And I think, you know, if you've got to work within the space that you understand and know best and the connections that you have and that's both, you know, our connections in terms of the work my husband does and my background in rural and in farming. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. You've got a level of understanding, knowledge and expertise around that that means that there's a comfort level in what you're doing

and yeah absolutely yeah awesome awesome terrific okay well look um one of one of the other things i'd sort of want to circle back to which is something you mentioned very early on in the discussion was uh you mentioned that your parents instilled in you and particularly as a female you said uh the need for economic independence i'm really interested in that because that's it's almost uh quite rare because there's you know there's still even today i find uh when when you put put people to the test there's this almost subliminal message that uh uh you know that the male partner will be the income earner and the other tends to be the nurturing family the princess the princess yeah almost and yet yet with the level of divorce that's in unfortunately the

level of divorces out there there's this growing uh need for uh females in particular to be able to look after themselves in that regard and then they have this battle internally i'm imagining about this uh balance between nurturing family and making sure i'm not in position that if for whatever reason that relationship doesn't work out i'm not then left in a very precarious position so talk to us a bit about that because I mean that grounding that you had I would have thought was was reasonably rare is that from mum is it from dad is it from both that talk to us a bit about that definitely from both my parents and I think it's it's a great um value to instill in your children but also at times a challenging one when you know uh so I think it's an important

grounding for me and it's certainly a foundation and a value that's been instilled in me and that i want to instill in my two daughters i think in today's day and age what we see though increasingly is that people most people need a dual income household and so the idea that one person can fully support the family is becoming increasingly rare and so what you are probably seeing is more of an interdependence but the way it's always gone and seems to continue to go is that women typically step out of their career if they choose to have family for a period of time to raise children and men continue on their career progression and so you see a disconnect in terms of not just income and career progression but also things like superannuation and that

economically puts women at a disadvantage and I guess for me the challenge was when I went to have my children all those messages of economic independence came up and it can be hard to step out of your career for a couple of years to have the kids which I did and and and battle that internal world gosh you know the first 12 months sure I was getting paid but then after that I wasn't and that was a hard place to sit in but I also realized that I didn't like that um I think it's important for me at least um to be financially contributing to my family and to have the ability to support my family because it's not just divorce uh you know your husband something bad might happen someone might break their back or um you know god forbid you know have have a fatal accident

and it's important to know that you can look after yourself and your own and to be thinking about that and you might not be right now earning the same amount or enough but to keep in mind that you have the importance of having the skills and the ability to be able to do that and what I see for a lot of clients who may have let themselves who may not have had that value from the beginning or may have let themselves fall into a space of feeling quite dependent is that that really affects their self-worth and their self-confidence. And that's, you know, self-worth and self-confidence are very important in terms of your overall life satisfaction and health and well-being.

But I don't pretend to have all the answers. It's not easy for all people. And I agree, I work with a number of clients who have gone through divorce, men and women, and managing that transition financially and the responsibilities, particularly if kids are in the mix, can be very challenging and typically is most daunting for the woman. Yes, absolutely. But I think you make an even better point there as well, Laura, that it's not just about that. It comes back to that self-worth exercise. Absolutely. You know, and this is the, you know, I almost see these, again,

almost subliminal messages in social media and everywhere else where if mum is working, she's got kids, then she's condemned if she doesn't work and she's condemned if she does because if she's working, then she's letting the family down and if she's not working, she's not contributing to the family. And it's an interesting thing. I listened to a podcast the other day that said we should be rioting in the streets because we work, you know, if you're lucky, 9 to 5,

but school hours are 9 till 3. And we work in a system and in a culture and environment, you know, schooling, business, everything has been set up on the foundation of a working father and a non-working mother, and that's not the reality of our lives anymore. and so in many, you know, it sounds a bit depressing, I haven't got the solution but the system is a bit broken and there's, you know, smarter minds than mine need to work out a way

that makes it more sustainable because it is very challenging for families. Well, I think, you know, putting on my architect's hat here, what I'm loving about where we're heading and the massive growth in, you know, individual businesses like yours, like mine, mine's a boutique business we run it from our homestead here at Clarendon we've got a separate little studio on the property uh the freedom that's starting to float in uh and for those employers that are seeing the benefits of uh people who work for them having that flexibility to be able to pick up the kids and drop them off and then work in and around it and focus on

results rather than time uh then I think there is some pretty positive movements in the right direction and and what that's going to impact on is it'll hollow out the cbds of cities because the they just won't need the office space if they get this no people won't go anymore yeah and you know once you do it you'll never go back i'll tell you that much yeah i'm right with you yeah i'm absolutely right with you yeah no that's very interesting actually okay look um i'm uh going to flick a switch and jump into what i call the ambush round which is just five quick questions that I ask of everyone because the audience keeps wanting your insights on this. So if I can kick straight into that, Laura, the first of those is just to get your flavour

on what's your favourite quote and why. Yeah, look, I've got a lot, so it's a hard question to ask, but I think today at least, and I think it comes back to a bit of the flavour of our conversation in terms of managing your mindset and that constant stream of what's going on in your mind is a quote by Wayne Dyer which is along the lines of I hope I get it right when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change and when we really listen into that we realize that you know there is that opportunity to be happy with and satisfied with and we're optimistic at least about where you are at in your life rather than focusing on the problems and the challenges and the struggles and

being tired and not enough time love it love it yeah that is a cracker actually uh sort of leveraging off that uh the top book that you'd recommend people read and why yeah again i'm a bit like you i've read them all bushy um i think look the two that i think are great to go to and um i think a lot of your listeners have probably read them, but The Talents of Ching and The Prophet by Carl Gillibrand are two books that I think you can put on your bedside table and you read a bit of that every night

and it really helps you focus on what's most important. Yeah, yeah, 100% agree. Now, this one's quite left field and in a completely different direction, but a lot of Australians feel that they pay too much tax. So can you share with us what's the top thing that you've legally done to pay less tax, please, Laura? In terms for us, I think it's investing in our own self-managed super fund. That's probably been a good step for both of us. It's made sense for us as well, given our background in property.

I know that doesn't make sense for everyone, but it certainly made sense for us. Yeah, definitely. It's a very tax-effective regime and much less tax paid on the way in. And if you've managed it well and you've held them long enough post-retirement, no tax on the way out and no capital gain. So it makes a lot of sense. Yep, brilliant. Now, on that investment sort of focus,

what's both the best and the worst piece of investment advice that you've ever received? the best I think this is probably a bit out of left field but what's coming to mind just off the cuff is I think the best advice when it comes to where you invest your energy your mind your time and your focus comes back to the advice given to me when I was I think it was about 19 by a barrister who I was working with and he said do good work and the money will come and I think to flow on from that probably the best advice on the back of that money that will come when you do good work was from my dad which was save it don't spend it and it's a pretty old school mentality but I do

wish I'd listened to that particularly in my early years of I think a lot of us spend a lot of it on a lot of rubbish when we're young, and I, in hindsight, that was probably the best advice. Yeah, a piece of good old-fashioned gold on both of those statements. Let's flip the lead and look at the worst. The worst investment advice? I'm not too sure. um i think not so much advice but i think in terms of direct advice to me but i think a lot

of us can feel pressure or susceptible to the get rich quick ideas the um and i think particularly in today's day and age i see it perhaps being pushed out to a lot of people in social media, the idea of you can, within the drop of a hat, invest in things without much hard work and the idea that there's a quick fix out there. I read, what's his name? He wrote the book around investment that everyone's reading. It's the most read book.

Rich Dad Poor Dad. The Barefoot Investor. Everyone's been reading it and I finally read it over Christmas and he talks a lot about that, the idea that there actually isn't a quick fix and for most of us it's about being in it for the long run and making slow and smart decisions along the way. Yeah, absolutely, 100% agree.

It's virtually the theme of my own book, The Freedom Formula, that success, if it's going to be sustainable, takes at least 15 to 20 years. Yeah, it does. It does, time and time again. Brilliant. Okay. Now, sort of changing gears a little bit then and reflecting back, let's take the example of your daughters as probably one close to home. When your first daughter gets to the stage of leaving school, what would you be saying to her in relation to

what you think she'd be best investing her time, energy, money and skills in to create success and or freedom based on her definition? that's a that's an interesting one isn't it when we think about we don't even know what jobs they're going to be doing the way the world's going um but in terms of advice to her and where she invests her time her energy i think the most important job for me um from now until that point in time is to make sure that she has a strong sense of herself and her ability to pursue her own version of success, whatever that may be. And if I can instill in her that confidence and that strength of character and the idea that

she knows what's best for her, that's my job. I think a lot of us think we need to direct them into a career or a job but as long as she follows her nose and of course that message of taking responsibility for how you live your life and your own financial freedom she can't go wrong yeah it's absolute gold and I think the what really resonates for me there is as you say not not guiding her or telling her but but giving her the ability to know what's best for her i mean if if everyone can yeah that's self-confidence that it is yeah that's that's a that's then a a skill that you can take anywhere with your life and i think that the mistake we make and you know we can all fall into it right is this idea and we put pressure on our kids that

they asked they asked my daughter last year she was in reception for goodness sake what do you want to be when you grow up oh no and i was like can we stop asking this question you know i don't know what i want to be when i grow up no one does that's right it's this idea that you're meant to know before you've tried and no one can know anything you know you don't know if you like oysters until you've tasted one and so if we start encouraging our kids to just have the courage and the confidence to have a go and know that whatever they think they're going to be it'll probably look a bit different once they get there but they have the freedom to have a taste have a go get in there and mess around change lane if you want to but this idea that it's a linear path all the way

to the top I think is setting our kids up for anxiety and stress it's certainly done that to lots of our own generation well I've certainly been the sufferer of that because I've followed with the hackneyed old idea of what success is supposed to be and pay the price to some degree, although in saying that, I agree with you. The skills that I've picked up as an architect have leveraged perfectly into everything I've ever done since, so none of it's been a waste.

In fact, I'm lucky that I had my midlife crisis early because I was able to move beyond that and then... Make that transition. Yeah, and learn from it to a point where it's been really beneficial, actually. and we heal stronger where the wounds are bushy so you've got to have a few you're right that's awesome look um very appreciative uh for those who want to reach out to you because uh i mean i think you've opened a lot of ears and eyes to the benefits of one getting starting to live with intent and getting clear on how you want your life to be

and moving towards that but also uh giving them someone who can guide them and make them accountable on that journey uh how do they get in contact with you laura yeah look the best place to go is my website website lauracarocci.com or they can email me laura at lauracarocci.com or also check out my podcast your life design with laura carocci which i release once a week it's free and it's a good way to get to know me and the work that i do further fantastic look uh I know you'll continue to do well and to change lives with the work that you're doing. I'm very appreciative of you spending time with me today

and I look forward to continuing the discussion because there's a lot of people that we work with that could be working with you as one of the very important foundational first steps to set the scene for what they then do from there. It's been great having a chat. Thank you very much for the time. Really appreciated it.

Terrific, Laura. Thanks for now. well freedom fighters how good was that you get a summary of all this investment gold in the show notes just email me on hello at khgroup.com.au that's h-e-l-l-o at khgroup.com.au or check us out at www.bushymartin.com.au forward slash get invested i look forward to joining you next week for another episode of the Get Invested podcast. So thanks for listening. And as always, dream as if you live forever

and live as if you die tomorrow.