Property Hub - Investment Insights & Inspiration - Get Invested: Julie Richman on how 'dynamic duos' make business and marriage work

Episode Date: May 18, 2019

Julie Richman is the author of Dynamic Duos – the essential guide for couples who live and work together. And Julie has seen it all first hand from all angles. Her first marriage and business failure almost killed her. She was left emotionally exhausted, mentally burnt out and financially destitute. However, the second time around she was much wiser on how to combine her marriage with her business. She knew first hand the many pitfalls that occur in relationships and has developed strategies that make things work a lot smoother. In our wide ranging discussion, you’ll find the answers to these questions and more: What are your five core foundations for living? Why do you have a box of springs and how does this impact on your life? What are the 5 C’s that need to be understood and put into play when building successful relationships with your partner, while at the same time growing a successful business life? Julie has an infectious love of life built around warmth, empathy and self-awareness and she really gets you to think deep and hard about yourself while having a good laugh. Julie’s book recommendation: Laws of the Spirit by Dan Millman Get Invested is the podcast dedicated to time poor professionals who want to work less and live more. Join Bushy Martin, one of Australia’s top 10 property specialists, as he and his influential guests share know-how on the ways investing in property can unlock the life you always dreamed about and secure your financial future. Remember to subscribe on your favourite podcast player, and if you're enjoying the show please leave us a review. Find out more about Get Invested here https://bushymartin.com.au/get-invested-podcast/  Want to connect with Bushy? Get in touch here https://bushymartin.com.au/contact/  This show is produced by Apiro Media - http://apiropodcasts.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Look, a lot of times we think we deal with our own baggage, but we don't. We kind of look at it and go, oh, shit, let's put that away. We don't want to discuss that. We don't want to address that issue. And quite often it takes a lot of courage to actually look at yourself and go, I'm actually part cause or a lot of the cause of the reasons why I get what I get. Welcome to the Get Invested podcast, where we share great conversations with experts from all walks of life to uncover their secret know-how

on where they invest their time, their skills, and their money and the benefits that this has created. You see, the truth is that everyone invests. Every minute of every day, we're investing our time, our skills, our energy, and our money in something. Some of us are investing consciously, some unconsciously, sometimes for good, sometimes for bad, and sometimes for no impact.

Get Invested will help you to start living by design not by default i'm going to help you to make it happen not let it happen you'll hear the top tips on how you can live with conscious intent so that you can live more work less and leave a living legacy by investing now listen to the show to discover the top tips on how to get started make the most of your investment journey and ultimately to be living your dream not someone else's. More episodes can be found on iTunes or at bushymartin.com.au forward slash get invested. Thanks for listening. And now let's get invested. Hi, Freedom Fighters. Now, we all want success in our relationship and our career, right?

We see dynamic duos like Barack and Michelle Obama, Melinda and Bill Gates, and in our mind's eye we go, that's going to be us. You know, to enjoy a loving, intimate, growing, fun-filled relationship with your partner, and to make a difference in the world with your work, your career, or your business. Now this is our dream, but what's the reality? how do we achieve it in one yet alone both of these key areas of our lives when we're constantly under time money and just the general pressure of everyday life running exhausted from one demand to the next in the never-ending rat race cycle that's our lives most of us share this dream of

relationship bliss coupled with career success but how many of you are really living it for many the reality is very different do you find yourself arguing with your spouse over work business or money pressures or do you sweep it under the carpet and hope that it'll all just sort itself out or maybe the constant relentless and forensic work pressure has dulled the spark and worn away the intimacy in your relationship and you're left just going through the motions have you mentally quit but physically stayed is your work career or business demands bulldozing its way through every facet of your life. Now, these are the telltale signs that your work life is significantly impacting on your relationship. Now, I know this because I've

been there. I lost my first marriage because I was selfishly and obsessively work and business focused. I just expected that my relationship would survive my long-term neglect. The lyrics to one of my favorite Eagle songs, Waiting in the Winds, captured it perfectly. I don't know when I realised the dream was over. Well, there was no particular hour, no given day. You know, it didn't go down in flames. There was no final scene, no frozen frame. I just watched it slowly fade away. And I've got no one to blame but myself. And my marriage to my awesome wife, Sonia, is a partnership in life and business. We're pretty much joined at the hip 24-7. And while we share an awesome life and a great business, it's not easy and

it takes us both continuous work. The power of two with a synergy of one plus one equals three, where the whole is much greater than the sum of the parts, definitely rings true. But it could easily slip back to one minus one, equaling not just zero, but negative, if we weren't jointly committed to making it work and doing the work. As I quote in my book, The Freedom Formula, when I becomes we, illness becomes wellness. And you've probably all heard that saying that behind every great man, well, I prefer to say that beside every great person

is an even greater partner. So, how can you turn things around before it's too late and go from just surviving to thriving? How do you shift from the risk of becoming a statistic to reveling in success? How do you create an environment with your partner where love, life and business success can grow and flourish long term without becoming faded, jaded or worse? Well, this is where today's guest, Julie Richmond, comes in. She's the author of Dynamic Duos, the essential guide for couples who live and work together.

and Julie has seen it all first hand from all angles. Her first marriage and business failure almost killed her. She was left emotionally exhausted, mentally burnt out and financially destitute. However, the second time around she was much wiser on how to combine her marriage with her business. She knew from bitter experience the many pitfalls that occur in relationships and has developed some awesome strategies that make things work a lot smoother. So if you want to take and improve your life and business partnerships and enjoy life together as a dynamic duo,

then you're going to love this conversation. In our very wide-ranging discussion, you'll learn what are your five core foundations to living, why do you have a box of springs, and how does this impact on your life? What are the five Cs that need to be understood and put into play when building successful relationships with your partner while at the same time growing a successful business life.

Julie's got an infectious love of life built around warmth, empathy and self-awareness. And she really gets you to think deep and hard about yourself while having a really good laugh. So enjoy this engaging conversation with Julie Richmond. Hi Freedom Fighters. Today I'm humbled to have an opportunity to talk with Julie Richmond and Julie's someone that I had the pleasure of talking with in quite some depth over a year ago now when she was preparing a research for her very good book, Dynamic Duos. and what really struck me at the time was that we both shared very similar parallel paths and I really thought that it's going to be of interest to Get Invested listeners. So welcome aboard, Julie Richmond.

Thank you so much for having me, Bushy. Lovely to be here. Absolutely. No, really looking forward to a deep dive chat today, Julie. And to kick things off, for those who aren't aware of who you are and what you do, can you give us a bit of a rundown? Well, I'm an entrepreneur, businesswoman at heart, perfectionist, I suppose you could say. I'm a mother of two beautiful daughters. One is a pilot in the Air Force and the other one is studying criminology.

um yeah very very just happy ordinary person just bombing along doing my thing well i currently run i currently run five companies so i i keep myself a little bit of a busy beaver only five good only five i'm trying to amalgamate that into three just to make it a little bit easier on me in doing the research on you i was like my goodness how do you fit this in you mustn't sleep but julie i'm really keen for you to share with us why you do what you do so give us a bit of a rundown on what those business interests are and with an emphasis on the why sure um i mean if you if you want to understand who i am and where i've come from you really have to go back to

obviously the the things that I experienced as a child and I grew up I went to nine different schools and and fitting in was very difficult so one of my key passions right from when I was five six seven years old was that people would just accept others for who they are and and that's kind of driven me a lot to see the world in a different way and try and find the best way to become or to make that happen or to affect that in other people's lives so you find when I'm talking with people or sharing with people I'm very accepting of who they are and so i found that that really supported the process of helping people in business as a consultant as a supporter mentor coach whatever you want to call them there's a lot

of terminologies these days but what i focused on mainly was the families the the couples in business together which is why i wrote the book dynamic duos but being able to support them through on a personal level as well as a business level because I feel that the two are very closely intertwined. So I guess that's why I do what I do because I have a passion to see these people succeed and that comes through from what I had to go through. It's not an easy path sometimes when you're growing up and if you have a little bit of insight, it's great to share that. Absolutely. Well, let's go on that journey if we can then, Julie,

and sort of take us through your life journey so far, focusing on what you did, when, and why again, and what did that lead you to, what were the benefits and otherwise to take you through to where you are now? well funnily enough I always thought that the instability of my childhood was a problem but a lovely lady pointed out to me well it's actually a benefit because I'm able to go into any business and be very adaptable and flexible to be able to pick up on things that are that are going on um and then apply the skills and knowledge of of my my business

experience so I guess it's made me adaptable it's made me able to uh wing it through a lot of things and fly through using the skills that I've got, you know, street smarts, I suppose you could call them. So when I finished high school, you know, I wanted to get my university entrance, which my mother, you know, encouraged me to do. So I'm glad I did that at the time, but I didn't pursue university. I was more in the school of hard knocks. So I just went in boots and all and jumped into life and, you know,

swam my little heart out and often going round and round in circles but I think it was more because I wanted to experience things you know I was more of a doer rather than a sitting and listening or taking a back seat so I jumped in started my first business when I was 24 my youngest daughter was only eight weeks old when I went into into business and it was at that point when I realised that, hey, I'm a businesswoman at heart. Business was in my blood, so I kind of understood it on a deeper level. Yeah, okay. Tell me, let's dig into the instability, as you call it.

What does that mean? I sort of want to explore what you feel instability means to you. well I have a vivid memory of being two years old and standing in the lounge room of the house that we lived in at the time and just having this overwhelming feeling that everything was turned upside down and different and that was that was when my father left the family and then as I said we had instability with my my sister moving out of out of home when she was 11 and going to a foster home there was just me and my brother by the time I was nine we my mother and then stepfather picked me up from New Zealand and brought me to Australia and left my brother

and sister behind so from the age of nine I was kind of an only child and just when I was settling in Sydney I had you know three or four different schools and even on my first day at school I I remember going to Chatswood Primary School and I was in grade four and they put this maths test in front of me and I looked at it and I just cried because there was not one question on this maths test that I could answer, not one, you know, and that was very disheartening for me. So I guess I went home and luckily my stepfather's mother was there so she was a surrogate teacher and she taught me everything she knew

about maths and I went through the entire textbook in a matter of eight weeks and from then on I never had a problem with maths. You know, I could sit on the couch and watch television and do trigonometry and still get 98%. So it's funny how things happen and then the turning point in your life and other things, you know, sort of come along the way. Would I change it? No, I wouldn't.

But I know when I was 15, of course, you know, I just settled down and that's when you start making friends for life, you know. My parents took me to Tasmania and, of course, I lost all my friends' network there. Of course. So that's what I mean by instability. Every time I thought I was settling down into something, you know, the rug would be ripped out from under me and I'd have to pick myself up

and dust myself off and start again, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, thanks for sharing that because that really puts some colour around it. I mean, I just want to go back to one comment you made there, Julie. At two years old, feeling overwhelmed when Dad left. You can actually, you can remember back that far?

I can, yep, I can see it very vividly in my mind. That's how different it was. it was just, I just knew something was different, and that's when he left the house. How did that make you feel? Because I know a lot of kids who go through that. Oh, devastated. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely devastated.

I was, you know, I was only two, so you don't really know what's going on. Yeah. But at the time, my mother was in the process of having a nervous breakdown. Wow. So, as a two-year-old, my brother and sister were older than me, so they were eight and nine years older than me. And so, they were always off with their friends running down the road, whatever. And so, I was the one who actually crawled up onto the bed next to my mother, who's bawling

her eyes out, and I'd lie next to her, and I'd be her emotional support at the age of two, you know. So, I'm supposed to be the other way around. Wow. But I sort of felt like, you know, I was there to prop her up emotionally through a lot of her life. And by the time I was 15 and we'd moved from Sydney to Tasmania and I was really struggling at that point in time because most of my childhood had disappeared. But that's when my mother had another nervous breakdown and then she lent on me. And then, of course, I collapsed.

So I had my first complete nervous breakdown at the age of 15, my second one at the age of 27. Wow. Great. So, yeah, going well, really. Got things out of the way early. Yeah, I figured it's funny. Every way is up now.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's the – and I can see why you're now feeling And someone said to you that that instability has probably set your course because you're so used to being thrown into foreign and confronting and emotionally challenging situations to swim your way through that. It takes a lot of resilience, I would imagine, Julie. Oh, absolutely. You know, and I suppose that's why I consider myself, you know, what they call a survivor or, you know, people who have to become emotionally strong because there is no other way. If you didn't, you'd just jump off the cliff and never live to see another day. But that doesn't produce anything for me. It doesn't.

I just look at that and I go, well, all that means is for me, I've just got to come back and do it all again. Yeah. It's like, you know, how about we make things a little bit easier and just do it the first time properly, you know? Yeah, that's contributed to the perfectionism, do you think? It's like, righto, I'm going to get this right or not, no? No, that's just the perfectionism side of it is just my analytical nature. It's just the anal retentive part of me that has a conniption

if somebody doesn't follow the systems in the business and I'm like, ah, ah, ah, ah, you know? Yeah, okay. Well, let's jump back to the – you started the first business at 24 and talk us through that to what then led to your 99th nervous breakdown at 27. Well, actually, it was quite funny because – and some of the investors, some of the people listening to this podcast or people who are wanting to get invested may relate to this in a little bit.

And it kind of really ties back into the book, Dynamic Duos, the essential guide for couples in business together because I've been, I had, obviously I'm on my second marriage. My first marriage and business nearly killed me. I was left emotionally burnt out, mentally, you know, and financially destitute and just absolutely exhausted exhausted beyond all shadow of a doubt but um i suppose what happened was started around that that first business sort of side of things so you know i was 24 years old um i before i fell

pregnant with my first daughter i was actually working um at the zinc refinery in tasmania okay as a as a mechanical engineer um so we were doing you know i was doing preventative maintenance on the the big machinery there and stuff like that of course you have to have lead tests regularly and then when you fall pregnant it's like oh you can't get lead through to the baby so you anyway so I finished up with them um and then I had Shannon who's my first daughter and then you know six months later it's like oh again how did that happen um so then my second daughter came along and then after she was eight weeks old I'm going well I can't really go back into engineering and back into that environment so um that's when I looked around for something else and

and the lady was doing a small business, which I thought was great, and I kind of took over because she was sort of letting it go. And so I started a direct selling business, Homewares, with some quality Australian brands and international brands of linen and Homewares and, you know, cookware and stuff like that. And so I actually built that up to have three or four consultants and I coordinated the first ever home shopping expo out of that and we raised about $2,500 for camp quality at the time

and that was in Tasmania, so that was really good. I was quite proud of that event. I exchanged the trading rights of that for, I did a deal with the Chamber of Commerce and Industry down there for a job for 12 months and from there I did a diploma in entrepreneurial management, which was really great. It's harder to spell than it is to do.

but it was really good and at the end of that time I mean sort of I'd sort of put my home shopping business off to the side and it was sort of around that time I was sort of falling into a hole because my parents decided that after they brought me to Tasmania they decided they'd leave me in Tasmania and go back to Sydney and I kind of looked around and thought oh I don't actually have any family left down here now so So I thought, do I really want to live there?

And the answer was no. So I decided that I would move to Brisbane. And I said to my husband, oh, by the way, I'm doing this diploma and this is in January. I said to him, I'm leaving at the end of the year, so you can either come if you want or you can stay, whatever. I kind of didn't really want to be responsible for the, you know, five years later, oh, you made me move to Brisbane.

You know, I was like, no, I'm good with that, thanks. So this is my decision because I have to look after myself first. You know, I knew I was falling in the hole and I knew that that was a very dangerous place for me to go and I had to start looking after myself. So I guess I probably, you know, invested a lot in my own happiness to try and find out where that is and what that means and how do you build that? How do you create that? So, let's, yeah, let's dig in right there because that's investing in your own happiness.

What conclusions did you come to in relation to what was important for your happiness that then set the course? Well, you know, I had to look around and this is what I put in the book, you know, my book, The Dynamic Duos. I had to look around at who I was, who my partner was and what sort of commitment levels we really had and why were we married in the first place. And I kind of felt, I suppose, I mean, we were married, we got engaged when I was 17, so we were quite young, got married four years later. And, you know, I mean, there was something obviously really good there to start with because otherwise, you know, you don't stay with someone and have kids and get married. But I kind of looked at it and thought maybe I'm more grateful to be married to him at a time when I felt that I was very unlovable. so I felt somebody loved me when I wasn't that lovable to myself and I think that's where a lot of people sort of fall

is that they look outside themselves for happiness if I love you then you'll love me back and when it doesn't come back they get very disheartened and it kind of tends to mess with their heads a little bit so I had to really go and say well who's responsible for my happiness uh it's me so um am i happy is the first question uh probably not so if i if i'm honest with myself with the answer and the answer comes back as no then i've really got to do something about that

you know um i can't blame anybody else for me not being happy so uh yeah and that was the decision to move to brisbane and i knew that the answers that i was looking for was in brisbane so i came up here uh my husband at the time decided he would follow so that was that was a pleasant surprise you know he sold up the house and packed up packed up the house and packed up two kids and two dogs and and drove all the way from from tasmania to brisbane so you and that surprised you did you you didn't think he would would follow is that no i i i kind of thought that He probably would, but I had to be prepared in myself that he might not. So I had to be strong enough to realize that.

And, Bushy, I mean, if you're talking opening up really to the guts of it, I was at a point in time where I was so depressed and so sad that I actually had visions, and this is weird. And I had visions of how do I draw blood and spray it around the bush and then disappear? Yeah. That's how much I wanted to get out. Wow.

And I didn't know how to get out. So I just had to take one step at a time. You know, I'm talking about going through depression medication for 18 months and, you know, going and seeing a counsellor and psychologist for, you know, a couple of years and trying to recover. And a lot of it was a lot of trauma from my childhood as well. that has sort of been dragged up. We've got an extremely dysfunctional family,

so it's got another way of going. But anyway, getting back onto the point to it, we actually, I came to Brisbane to look for that happiness and, you know, my ex-husband followed and brought the family up and all that sort of stuff and we went into a business. We went into a franchise business as a franchisee and unfortunately we picked one that was supposedly

one of the best at the time you know won all these awards and things like that and and it ended up being the the most difficult to run so um at the end of the day you know we were working 50 60 70 hours a week and maybe getting you know 50 cents an hour yeah so the net profit out of that before you paid any loans back on the business was three percent um and that's a that That's a well-known franchise that only now probably – what are we talking? We're talking probably 18 years later is now finally coming out that, hey, you know, this isn't a good model, business model. It doesn't actually work, and all of the franchisees are going under.

So that's a little bit of a difficulty. For the sake of professionalism, we'll just name it as in Franchise X. Gotcha. Yeah, gotcha. So I'm second-guessing here, but that financial stress and the time stress on top of everything else that was going on, I can imagine that would have put the oxy-torch on the relationship too. Oh, yeah. It was going down. And I think the worst part was when the franchisor spread rumours

to my ex-husband behind my back and that kind of made it difficult and, you know, the relationship failed but I was still in the business, working the business, but there wasn't enough money to support me. And what happened was when I wanted to leave the marriage and the business didn't have enough money so I had to live on Centrelink while I'm running a business because there wasn't enough to even feed me and a friend of mine. And I wanted to get out of the relationship.

There was nowhere I could go because I didn't have my own financial self-sufficiency in the business, you know. My ex-husband, you know, sort of said, you know, within the first year, you know, this is we need you to go and earn money outside. So he was on a brilliant, brilliant income, which, you know, was fine. But because I was running the business and there was nothing in there. course um that made it difficult for me now a friend of mine she was very very gracious she let me stay in her place um her unit for six months um basically living rent free which i

was so appreciative because i would have nowhere to go otherwise um i had a i had a little 500 dollar bommie car that i used to drive around in um and my kids used to come down and i had no furniture so there was this is a turning point i was 30 by the way um 30 31 years of age um so i had i'd done the white picket fence in the house and the dog and the kids and the cat and the fish and you know all that all that fairy tale stuff that that we tell our kids you know and they lived happily ever after you know i looked around at 31 i go that's a load of crap what the hell is that all about um anyway so um I um yeah I'd had the white picket fence that didn't work so here I was I was I was on my own I had no furniture um I didn't have a couch or a dining table or a television

or anything I walked out of the marriage with a futon bed which was lumpy as hell and the clothes on my back and that was it and when my kids would come and stay I used to put some little strips of the really thin carpet together and and they'd bring their sleeping bag in a pillow so they'd sleep on the concrete floor with some strips of carpet and and they were so excited just to be near mummy at that stage you know which was really great and they were very patient with me as I clawed my way back up to some sort of semblance of being able to sustain myself in in a in a place by myself that I could have the kids, you know, so a townhouse or a unit or something.

So how did you do that? Yeah. What was the – how did you work? What did you invest your time, energy and money in from that point that started you moving in a different direction? Sure. Look, as I said to you before, Bushy, the main thing was that I wasn't happy and if I wasn't happy then that was going to have an impact on everything,

you know. So one of the things that I really wanted when I had my kids was like a legacy that I wanted to leave. I thought the greatest legacy that I can leave my kids is their education. And so, of course, when the relationship was good and we had plenty of money and, you know, I'd put them through private school, you know. And I was so amazed because it was cheaper than, obviously, kindergarten at that time. I could put them into private school kindy. and Shannon came back at the age of four and she said to me one day, she said, Mummy, Mummy, I learnt four herb words today.

She goes, er, as in bird, er, as in work, er, as in her, er, as in nurse and I went, gee, that's really well worth the investment, isn't it? This is a four-year-old. You know, we're going on the right direction. And then, of course, we moved to Brisbane and, you know, with all the troubles and the difficulties and the struggles. And my ex said to me, well, I went to public school and I turned out okay.

And I was like, okay. So they went to public school and, of course, the level of academic dropped. But as the relationship was sort of coming apart and things, I looked at it and I thought, okay, what type of education is the legacy I'm going to leave for my kids? So then I thought maybe it's the education about life is more important than the education in the school so um what I've done from that moment on is I stepped out of the

relationship and I went and worked on myself you know disarming all my triggers let my hand off the box so you know and this is all explained in in my book the dynamic duos um book is that you know everyone has a box of springs we kind of call it baggage but anyway there's springs in there so you've got to actually let your hand off the box and of course all the springs go and people go oh my god i've just lost control of everything um but essentially what you've got is an empty box so then you can go back and you can put only the springs in the box that you want do i want my kids with me uh i'm not sure just yet i'm just gonna put that to one side do i want my ex-husband no that's gone okay do i want this do i want that okay do i want the shop

not really but i kind of have to be there for a moment okay we'll just put that to one side do know what i mean so you only put back the springs in your box that you actually really want um and anyway obviously my kids did come back into the box they're my little springs in my box um and what i started to realize is that the education that i was teaching them was more about life skills so when i and analyze sorry the relationship that i had i thought i could stay with my ex husband but be unhappy um or i can leave and be independent and be happy um but that's going to obviously mean that the family's broken apart so what do i teach my girls if i stay in the relationship yeah am i teaching them to stay with their husband no matter whether they're happy or

not or if i move what am i teaching my girls so of course the decision that i made have now raised two very strong independent young girls you know so that's kind of like okay the next part was how do i disarm my triggers what's the point to life how do i make myself happy how do i help other people but make sure that i'm not left on my own you know um all those sorts of things so it's quite a journey and um i think by seeing the world a different way it does help you to not then dump your baggage onto your kids so i've tried not to do that because i've tried to you know, disarm a lot of my own triggers. And therefore, I don't have that effect as much on them

as I would do if I hadn't, if that makes sense. No, no, that totally makes sense. And a lot of people wouldn't be able to step outside themselves enough to see that, though, Julie. A lot of people who end up in that position, and, you know, you and I have shared previously, I was in exactly the same place from the other side. And what is it, do you think, that gave you that resilience and the ability to work through that rather than drowning in it, which would be very easy to do?

Look, a lot of times we think we deal with our own baggage, but we don't. We kind of look at it and go, oh, shit, let's put that away. We don't want to discuss that. We don't want to address that issue. um and and quite often it takes a lot of courage to actually look at look at yourself and go um i'm actually part cause or a lot of the cause of the reasons why i get what i get now um it's okay here's an here's an example um based on the family is that as the girls got older you know

they'd say to me can I do this can I do that and it was easier for me just to say no no no anyway one day Shannon turns around to me and she goes how come yeah and I went that's an interesting question Shannon I don't have an answer for that one so I had to re-evaluate what my what my what my rules were in the house because I I kept forgetting whether I said yes last time or no last time it should be yes or no anyway so I I threw out every single rule in my house and I went, okay, I've got to have just two rules because that's all I can remember right now. Always tell me the truth and always respect me.

So those are my non-negotiables. So as long as they tell me the truth, they can really pretty much do what they want, obviously, except, you know, it's not recommended for them to go down the valley in the middle of the night and not expect to be, you know, mugged or something, you know, but don't put themselves in mortal danger. But apart from that, just tell me the truth.

So I made an environment where my children could come home and they could tell me anything and I wouldn't flinch, not flinch a skerrick, you know, oh, mum, I'm pregnant or I've done drugs or whatever, you know, and I've done this and I've done that. And I wouldn't flinch. I'd just go, oh, that's very interesting. How did you enjoy that experience, dear? You know, and they'd be like, oh, okay, I could tell mum anything. They'd go to their father's place and they would say something, you know, even, oh, I didn't do my homework. and he'd fly off the handle and so of course they became scared to tell him anything so what they would then do he's he's actually created an environment where they would lie to

him yeah well it's a normal thing isn't it they don't feel comfortable saying anything yeah you know so they'll tell him what he wants to hear and then they'll be happy and he'll be happy and then off they go you know yeah so they'd tell him are we going ice skating tonight dad and then they'd drive down to my place which is only five minutes around the corner and they'd come and lie on the couch and watch movies yeah and then they'd go home at midnight oh yeah ice skating was fun thanks dad you know like it's like you've you've created a situation by not allowing or not requiring them to tell you the truth you know so people wonder why why do people lie to us because we've actually created that situation so it takes a lot of courage and strength to actually look at

ourselves and go i'm causing this yeah i'm causing this i need to stop you know i need to do things differently that's that's a a revelation that very few people actually get to and i guess it ties in beautifully with what you you started by saying that uh acceptance without judgment is really a foundational approach for you absolutely it has to be the core of who you are it's it's your integrity it's how you how you approach the world um you know uh i i can't i don't want to see i when i say i can't i i have this thing one of my famous sayings about things is there's no such word as can't it's either don't know how or you don't want to if you don't know how we'll teach you and if you still don't do it then it's because you don't want to so just admit it you just don't

want to do it right and and you know when you when you cut to the chase like that with people um quite often they look at you and they go well you know that's true i don't want to so the main thing is we have to stop lying to ourselves first yeah yeah you know once we stop lying to ourselves then it helps us to stop lying to other people because we're honest with ourselves we just go this is who i am you know i don't want to go you know and and that's those things about when you want to be happy if i don't want to go and do something i'll go no i don't want to do it and shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to do it do you want to go to the family christmas party no okay don't go i'll go you stay here and that's okay exactly that's okay

yeah that should be okay yeah it's your family not my family i don't want to go that's it you know yeah um yeah wow that's that that that inner strength to one recognize that and then be comfortable uh to put that out there and very few people have that courage in in we do things out of We do things out of obligation. Yeah, exactly. And then we wonder why we're unhappy at the end of the day. Because we're satisfying everyone else but ourselves. Exactly.

Exactly. You're doing things that you don't really want to do. And you know what the funny thing was, Bushy? My mother always said to me growing up, she said, dear, life wasn't meant to be easy. So I get to 35 and I'm struggling my ass off and I'm going, apparently i'm on the right track because life wasn't meant to be easy so this is what it's meant to be like yeah that's yeah it's okay yes she was right then this coconut fell from the

tree and knocked me on the head and went hey life is meant to be easy we just complicate it for ourselves by doing all the things that we feel we should obligatedly do but we don't really want to or you know we've been taught to do this and it doesn't work but we keep doing it and we're banging our head against a brick wall, thinking if we do the same thing, it's going to make a difference, but it doesn't. And, you know, I don't get that. It doesn't make logical sense to me. I'm not a smart woman.

I'm not a super intelligent woman. I'm not dumb either. But if it doesn't make logical sense, I go, why are you doing it? Tell me why you did that again. I just don't understand it. Yeah, brilliant. And that's a really important recognition to come to grips with. And if you got there at 35, then I reckon you're doing damn well

because most people never get there. Where did that lead you to then? Because that is a fundamental change in your whole outlook on the world, really. And it obviously didn't happen overnight. There's a growing thing that's happened through the evolution of the journey you went through. What happened then? What happened next?

well i mean as i said we're in the in the um in the franchise for a bit and then uh it made it was made clear to me that the franchisor was not going to let me out very easily um and then it became a choice whether i wanted the freedom or to retain the money and i thought no i want my freedom more so i was thank you okay that was a lovely experience um good bad and indifferent to say thank you very much i appreciate the lesson that you've given me i will try not to ever do this again and and you walk away you know um from that obviously i hit rock bottom financially because i just gone you know what i i don't i don't need this hassle um and um then slowly pick myself up again and you know the funny thing was i had a discussion with with william my current

husband my beautiful man he's just the most amazing pineapple i've ever come across love it awesome and um you know and and and we were having a discussion uh at the time when um the economy in europe was going really down and you know major breaking news oh greek's gone bankrupt you know and and he's like oh that's a shock and i and i'm i'm kind of giggling in the background going okay so what happens the next day yeah they just get up and they go to work life goes on you know um yeah anyway and you have to see beyond the the fear i guess of what that represents it's the symbolism of what things represent rather than what it actually is you know a lot of people have this symbolism about what family's supposed

to represent and really it's nothing like that and that's when they get disappointed i suppose you can say it with customer service you know their expectation is higher than what they actually got and they're not happy with it you know so it's about understanding and taking the fantasy out of things rather than actually seeing what it is for the reality another thing i was having a discussion with one of the ladies the other day and i said everything you have in life is like an experience right so you've got a beginning a middle bit and an end bit right the beginning bits the honeymoon and the middle bits the reality and then the end bits the bad stuff like the divorce and shit you know and that's when everybody ends up in tears I said but an

experience can be anything it could be reading a book or watching a movie or going into a new job or having a new relationship or going into a business or whatever anything you do in life as an experience right now that experience can last a minute an hour a day a week a month 10 years 100 years whatever it's the length of the experience is irrelevant but it'll always have the same three components the honeymoon the reality and the divorce right now if any experience you go into they will never show you the divorce bit because you look at it go get stuffed i'm not going into that right they won't even show you the reality you know the late nights of working in the business and the hard slog and the arguments and the ups and downs and the tired and

you know like no one tells you about the sleepless nights you have when you have a baby for the first time you know exactly if you looked at that and you were actually in the middle of the reality it's sort of go um thanks but no thanks you know you only ever see the honeymoon yeah for any experience you're going into you only ever see the honeymoon part right so your fantasy is about oh this is going to be a great business it's going to be successful it's going to be a brilliant investment this this um new rental property we've got it's going to be the business it's going to make us a squillion dollars you know whatever it's only ever the the honeymoon that you see right now what i've experienced is the the the higher the level of fantasy of the of the honeymoon

the bigger the crash at the other end do you know what i mean the more you go in with this this um pie in the sky dream about how something's going to work the bigger the disappointment at the other end so you have to go into everything and knowing the reality if you can see the reality and go yep i still want to take on this experience that's better that's a much more realistic approach to things you know um and so i always i'm always worried about these highs and lows of the of the fantasy and the crash you know the ups and the downs in something you know if someone's yay we're so excited to have you and i'm going right i'm happy to be here too but you know don't get disappointed if i make a mistake because guess what i'm human we all make mistakes you

can't find a human being that hasn't made a mistake somewhere along the line you know what mean yeah i do i do yes it's the same whether you get staff or tenants or you know whatever business or relationship or anything you know you've got to have that realistic expectation there's a honeymoon a reality and a divorce just yeah keep that in mind i guess it's probably one of those things that's a bit of gold there sorry i'm rattling on no you're not no there's some real wisdom and what you're saying there that it's all in the book yes it is and which i'm i'm sort of not assuming anything because i i want the the audience to really uh get a sense of uh what they're going to get from dynamic duos because it is a an awesome read uh and while you know that

some of the focus is on partners in business together uh any life partners who are trying to navigate the the magic tapestry of life uh you can get a lot from that let's let's dig into that a little bit because you know the you know i know when you and i spoke at some length some time ago where i was talking about how my good wife sonia and i have learned to uh bring together our personal and business life and and survive that because of a lot a lot don't talk to us about about the key five Cs and how that might help people to navigate the challenges that they're ultimately going to face. Sure, sure.

So, Bushy, the book I've built in the methodology of the five Cs. Now, we're talking about clarity, about who we are and what we do and who our partner is, the commitment levels, why we came together in the first place. To build a solid foundation on anything, you have to have effective communication. So we talk about how to handle conflict and discussions and things like that with your partner. Once you've got a solid personal foundation in your relationship, then we can move into cooperation, which is talking more about systems, structures, roles, responsibilities in the business and how to effectively have good teamwork.

and then the last C is collaboration which is about combining your hearts and minds together to put into a vision about that journey forward now if you're a couple in business together you're actually using the business as to provide the vehicle for your income and financial stability for the future of yourselves and your family and so it's really important that we both come onto the same page with regards to that if you've got two people and pulling in different directions it can be disastrous and um speaking from experience um this this um my current my husband now i won't say my current husband because he's my only husband i'm not intending to uh to to replay and have another one um no i'm not trading him in no um he's he's worth too much

He's worth his weight in gold. I just need to get him a bit fatter and heavier. Love it. Anyway, you know, like he's got the skills in the technical side of it. I've got skills in the business side of it. We both value the fact that we can't do it without each other. Yeah. Yeah.

And the thing is, before you even get to the five C's in the book, Bushy, we talk about the foundations to living. Now, these go across anybody, and these are just basic common sense, you know. If I go into that, we'll be here all night. But there are five foundations to living, which I cover off as well. So it's what we focus on grows. Every human being needs two things. Everybody has a box of springs.

We're talking about everybody has a different view of the intersection, and uh and the law of balance always applies and uh if you apply if you actually look into those things there's a very simple logical understanding in in that um in in the concepts that are put forward in the in the foundations to living so if you don't have that then it's going to be difficult to apply the five c's as well because a lot of the five c's especially when it talks about conflict you know everybody has arguments but it's about how we deal with that and that comes back to everybody has a different view of the intersection and the law of balance always applies um and what we focus on grows so it kind of intertwines back into that those foundations

to living now i'm in the process of putting together a mini series of little video snippets which actually go into a bit more depth on those uh foundations to living and they'll sort of trying to get that up on my website but it's so important to understand that these are just common sense things this is common knowledge that we should all know and Bushy unfortunately we don't like the human race as a whole we have to have a I suppose what you'd call a terminal velocity of consciousness you know we have to have enough people knowing this knowledge for it to become common knowledge yeah yeah do you know what i mean those things that we should understand basic basic perceptions you know acceptance and judge and non-judgment should be

um keys to everybody's living totally agree uh but we're so i'd be interested in your commentary on this i i just don't think we have any margin anymore julie and what i mean by that is there's there's no gap between uh what we're expected to do and what we want to do and there is that uh constant sense of obligation and we're bombarded constantly through you know everyone lives on their iphone so it's instant everything uh those expectations that you spoke about are being unrealistically set by the glamour that uh we uh subconsciously uh drown our our minds in by flicking through facebook and instagram and every other damn thing that that consumes our every spare moment

and as a consequence of that, the subliminal message is, I'm not good enough, I need to have those things to be happy and we don't then allow ourselves a time of reflection to step back and go, hold a minute, that's bullshit, I don't need any of that crap at all, this is what's really important to me, let's just focus on making those things happen. Can you give me your thoughts around that whole subject? Sure. I understand where you're coming from, Bushy, and I think it's something that's only applicable to those people who let it be applicable to them. I really do find that those people who are very impressionable are seeking some sort of justification or acceptance outside of themselves.

and that comes back to where we're talking, that we're looking outside of ourselves. Okay, I was brought up, I suppose, one of those fake Christians. Oh, you're Chris and Church of England, but, you know, but we don't go to church sort of thing, you know, only on Easter and Christmas, you know, when it's supposed to, you know. No, I don't know, you know. So, like, anyway, you know, I mean, I've had a fairly interesting life.

Yeah. You know, I mean, when I first went to get married, my mum said to me, she says, oh, you've got to go and get right by God. You've got to go to a church and be part of the church and all that sort of stuff. So, she encouraged us to get involved in a church and get right before God because marriage is a sanctity and all this sort of stuff. So, you know, anyway, so I kind of went, okay, well, you don't go to church, so, okay, well, we'll just wear that one. Anyway, so we went along and we, you know, and actually, you know, it was funny because the experience, you know, I've been baptized in water and all that sort of stuff and, you know, kind of know the Bible sort of thing.

And, you know, then we went to a house church and then that was all fall on the part and, you know, due to various indiscrepancies and stuff like that, you know. And I kind of look at it like religion's like, you know, you've seen the movie The Matrix? Yes. Right. You know, in one of the episodes or one of the movies,

there's a long hallway and there's a door at the end and there's doors off to the sides, you know. I look at religion like that. so you go into one door and you go into a room and that's you know buddhism or spiritualism or christianity or catholicism or this or that the other anyway you go into this room and it's all nice and warm and fuzzy but eventually you'll feel that you'll come to the edge of the room you know you'll feel there's walls and and the only way in and out is the front door you know so you come out of there and you go across the hallway you go into another room and that's a different

religion and they've got walls too and then over there's got walls and over there's got walls In fact, it was so funny because I was sitting down having a conversation and this guy turns around and he goes to me, oh, yeah, I used to be part of the satanic cult. Wow. And I went, hmm, that's very interesting. So what's that all about? It's another room with walls.

It's another room with walls. Yeah, you know, we just have to break any rules that there are. You know, I was like, oh, okay, fair enough. Okay, good to chat to you. See you later. So for me, I can just sort of come and go and I can see where everybody's going and, you know. And I've had discussions with people, you know, Mormons and other Pentecostals

and this and that and the other. Yeah. Anyway, very, very interesting. But where were we on this subject? You'd asked me a question at the beginning. No. I kind of got sidetracked. Well, what I'm hearing here is if I put a thread through what you've been talking about,

you have this uncanny ability to step out of yourself and look in and almost observe a situation for what it is without imposing any prejudices or preconceived ideas and then accepting the situation for what it is. Am I saying that right? So important. Yeah? Yeah, it's so important.

And I think your question at the beginning was that we were talking about the impressionism of people who read stuff on social media and feel obligated to behave like that. And the point to it was that if we can't love ourself, how can we possibly believe that somebody else can love us? Yeah. You know, it's like it doesn't match with our brain. It's like, you know, does not compute. Hang on a minute.

You can't love me because I don't love me. So how could you possibly love me? you know um and so we look outside of ourselves and and and this comes back to the religion as we were taught do unto others as you wish to be done to you you know all these phrases that that's been spouted about since the dawn of time and things like that and and so we constantly pouring our love into somebody else expecting and waiting for them to pour it back now in one of the foundations to living series in the mini series i talk about the cup now if someone's got a capacity to love but it's the size of a teacup how much love can they actually receive exactly only the

amount of the teacup so if so if i come along with my jug of water and i pour into that cup and i keep pouring the cup's going to fill up then it's going to overflow the rest of my love is going to fall to the ground and get soaked into the dirt the person left standing once i finished has still only got a cut full right and they're going to feel like drowned right and my jug's going to be empty so then i go okay well if i want them to love me they're going to pour their cup back into my jug and it's going to fill up probably about two centimeters in the bottom and i'm going to go where's the rest of it do you know what i mean they're going but that's all i've that's all i've got to give and that to them that's what they've got to give that's all

they know so i'm going okay but that's not enough to fill me so you know like then i'm left unfulfilled and and resent but i've poured all my love into you and you've only given me this tiny little bit back but we're not understanding that everybody has a different capacity yeah different size cup to love yeah they've got a different size cup or vessel you know you just go to a barrel so i look at it like this if i filled my jug and kept filling my jug right i just keep filling my jug my jug will be full and what happens when it's full and i keep filling it'll overflow so the person with the cup comes to the overflow and catches all the overflow and then they walk away happy because they're filled right and then somebody else comes along and gets the overflow

so here i can sit there and i can pour out as much love and energy as i can to somebody you know because it's just coming from the overflow so when i'm helping somebody like you know i've been helping some of my friends and recently and you know they're going through marriage troubles or dramas or this or that with the other confusions and i'm just helping with them sharing with them supporting them loving them caring for them and then they look at me and they go aren't you drained i'm going no i'm feeling better than ever because i'm filling my jug and you're just getting the overflow right so this love others as you want you know do unto others as you want to be if you love somebody they'll love you back we've got it all twisted around the wrong way if we love us

first and then they get the overflow we're actually pouring out a hundred times more than we could ever possibly do and not feeling left drained or exhausted or emotionally destitute ourselves yes and people say oh but isn't that selfish no that's actually self-loving because if i can fulfill you all the time i don't ever have to push you away saying no i don't feel like filling you up today i don't feel like you know i don't feel like sharing with you today i I just don't have the time or the energy for you today because I'm always full. So, sure, you can come around. I've got time for you.

I've got time for you. I've got time for you. I've got time for the podcast. I've got time for anybody if they really want it. If they really want it. See, I'm not going to waste my time on somebody who's just, you know, pissing around and going, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just want to see how much I can string her along.

No. You know the funniest thing, And one of the funniest memories I have of my two kids, Michelle, my youngest daughter, she's absolutely gorgeous. She's an absolutely stunning girl. And she was sitting in the back seat, and she was only about five, and she was crying, oh, mommy, mommy, mommy. And I said, what's wrong, Michelle? She said, grandma called you a bitch. And I started laughing.

I absolutely wet myself laughing. and she stopped crying and she looked at me and of course this is grandma being my ex-husband's mother and anyway I'm laughing my ass off and she's going why are you laughing mummy and I said to her

okay Michelle it's like this I said you know mummy right of course mummy I said is mummy a bitch not mummy I love you mummy I said there's your answer yeah there's your there's your answer I said okay Michelle I said if mummy asked grandma for help bearing in mind this is my ex-husband's mother I said would

grandma help mummy no mummy she hates you I said okay fair enough I said if grandma asked mummy for help would mummy go and help yep she said of course mummy that's who you are yeah there you go that's who you are that's golden that statement that's they know kids know they you know there's no point in one parent you know fighting over the other parent and running the other parent down to the you know the first in front of the kids there's no point to that all the kids are going to do is go well you're the asshole because i actually love my mom exactly what are you doing yeah they don't get that what are you doing yeah yeah what are you doing i could uh you know like that's just stupid that's just crazy all you're doing is putting a wedge between you and the kid

totally if you're running down the other parent you've got to understand in the child's eyes they love their parents yep it's there's no point in in fighting one over the other and telling the kids oh, your mother's this and your father's that. None of it. Doesn't work. Never will. It's unconditional. There's a bond there regardless of the scenario that's going to be there,

so why try and say anything else? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely, because, yeah, sorry, I could go on for hours. Yeah, no, this is really interesting. You just pull the pins and say, that's enough. No, not at all, because I'd – and this is sort of –

it's going to sound a bit inane in comparison with the depth that we've been going into. But if we pull that together with all those foundation stones and, I mean, you've outlined it beautifully in the book, but if we were to draw a picture of your ideal lifestyle then in that context, drawing that together, what does it look like? Can you paint the picture for us? I'm actually really happy where I am, mate. I really am. I really am. I've got two beautiful daughters.

my uh as i said my eldest is a pilot in the air force and my youngest is studying criminology she's a beautiful girl absolutely stunning girl um both of them are and um you know i've got a fantastic husband who is oh you know like he is just gold he is every woman's dream my husband um he just he's he's caring attentive you know he's hard working he's lovely he's oh just the best support for me he doesn't stop me from doing anything he doesn't question anything i do um there's so much level of trust there but that comes back to our level of commitment to each other yeah um and the clarity we know who we are and what we're doing and where we're going yeah we've got a very successful business we're just taking on another um design business in

property development i've got the book my book's in the hands of ellen degeneres now apparently awesome awesome that was given as a gift to her on her 61st birthday so i'm really proud of that and i've sent it off to uh to other significant people that i've actually referenced in the book fantastic um you know like i mean i'm not in my dream house yet but i know it's on the way i know it's all happening and I'm just patient enough to allow it to unfold as the time comes, you know. Yeah, pretty, very contented actually. Yeah, brilliant.

And you can hear it. It's coming through. You're comfortable in your skin, Julie, which very few people are. Tell me, you touched on very briefly there the property development and the property side and, you know, obviously property's been very good to Sonia and I, and, you know, I guess our continuous study of freedom and success keeps telling me that those that achieve that sort of sustainable level of fulfilment

and freedom, yes, they invest in their work and their career and their business, but they also invest in growth assets that will sustain their lifestyle long term. Is property part of that for you, or talk me through where property fits in and what your approach to property is and what that means to you? Yeah, look, I mean,

I've always been interested in property, always. And I guess if I look back on it, you know, there were certain places that I, I've just always had a passion for it, right? When I was with my ex, we got offered to double the size of our house for like $15,000. We'd just buy the materials and we had the labour and help

and then my ex-husband said no. So I went, okay, let's rent this place out and build our dream home on five acres and it's beautiful. No, can't do that. Okay, let's do this. No. So eventually I realised, I looked at him and I said, we're not even in the same library, let alone on the same book

and the same page and the same aisle or anything. so I kind of went okay fair enough and then of course when when we separated and I had I had nothing you know I literally walked out with with absolutely nothing and I when I started business consulting I was working three days in a call center so I could consult for business on the other three days and you know I was kind of slowly and then when when I met William he came with his fair share of baggage so we had a nice long uh court case and custody battle for six years so we weren't allowed to have any assets then so we've really only started in the last couple of years um and we we started this business with uh zero dollars in the bank

and um and i said well here's a here's a screwdriver and a set of car keys go do what you normally do because he'd always been a technician in um in fixing photocopiers so we started with two customers in the garage with no money in the bank and and we just built it up from there so everything we've put we've put back into the business now i've always i mean photocopiers isn't my dream five-year-old i'm going to grow up and be a photocopier technician type thing so i kind of like i just go well i'm the business consultant right i'm putting my money where my mouth is to show that I can actually build a business and then I'm now doing what I want to do,

which is the photocopier business is now funding, you know, the property development and the book and the launch and, you know, my speaking tours and programs and things like that that we're putting all together. So that's actually funding the development and the publishing of the book and stuff and moving around, so getting us to the next level. So let's drill into that property piece and paint the picture

of what are you doing in property, why are you doing it and where is it going to get you to? Look, I mean, it's still early days yet and we're still building a foundation but I've had an opportunity to take on a design company so we've sort of managing that, being director of the company and getting that organised and it's about linking with like-minded people. So we've got a group where we've got someone

who's doing project management, someone's doing the design, someone's doing the funding of it, you know, and I'm doing the management and running of it, someone else is doing the consulting. So it's kind of pulling it all together. But it's super cool. Look, we've got a large development which we've been able to do some work with in one of the high-growth areas in Brisbane,

so quite a large, you know, 500 houses in that one. But we're also doing some small lot developments as well and looking for some, you know, some lots that we can just do, build and buy, build and sell, build and keep. So we've got a strategy of sell three, keep three, sell three, keep three on every one of the properties that we do into the business structure. So everything's protected by our trusts and things like that. And then we'll just rent our house off the trust in the business.

So, you know, like it's just the way that it goes. But, yeah, we thought we'd do the, obviously, because we're doing the construction as well, so we need a net tangible asset of at least a couple of hundred thousand to do up to $10 million worth of build. So we're doing, working with the project managers and stuff like that to get the best. And you know what is interesting?

Because our design guy said to me the other day, he said, um you can't price on a price per square meter and i go oh yeah why is that and he goes he drew a square 10 by 10 by 10 by 10 yeah square house and then he drew a 20 by 5 oblong house and he said they're both 100 square meters but you use more materials in the long house than you do in the square house true because one's only 40 and the other one's 50 and i went oh yeah that's very interesting so when someone says oh we do a price per square meter um quote you go well what sort of house is it because are you paying for the long house or the square house yeah so you're not going to get the most accurate costings that way absolutely and i thought i thought that was a

very interesting little tidbit of information that is so good way to actually break it down into something that's real in that regard but uh yeah interesting well so i'm surrounding by smart people that's what i like and that that's one of the big lessons because uh certainly in our own experience property isn't a late team sport and you're only as good as the people that you've got on that team oh you know look i've come across like this one guy i had a meeting with um so we went in for um with one of the state agents we were we were working with and he says i'll come in and have a chat to this developer and i was like okay no problems so i went in and sat down and um and this guy's going oh i just need i just need eight million eight million dollars

c capital and i looked at him and go yeah don't we all and he's going um i've got i'm buying this block and it's going to be you know you know 50 stories high and we're going to have 600 units in there and i go oh okay what have you got planned for it and he says well we've got retail on the bottom and then we've got a um a nursing home and then we've got elite penthouses and we've also got student accommodation and then on these floors we're going to have a hospital private hospital eye hospital there and i'm going dude do you have any idea what you're doing clearly not from what i'm hearing there and i'm like this is you know and i said how long have you been doing property development oh 15 years i was like right okay and after that time you still need eight million

dollars worth of seed capital so I'm not putting any money into anything I said you know what you best do anyway he came up with this other other plan that he wanted to do that that overcooked the books on the development and anyway they needed two and a half million dollars to settle within like two days and I looked at it and I go you've only got 16 blocks out of that and that's in this area and the maximum price you're going to get is that and I mean you know the best way to do it I said you need to go in and chat to your friend see if you can do a joint venture and and and offset the payments and this and that and the other, and that's the only way you're going to get it through.

Anyway, I just, you know, a lot of people dabble around and stuff and they don't really know what they're doing. Or as the saying goes, they know enough to be dangerous. Spot on. Spot on. And they get themselves in the shit and then they wonder, oh, dear, don't get out of it. Yeah, well, it's the old story.

When you don't know what you don't know, then you are dangerous because if you think you know and you don't know, then that's even worse. And there's a lot of people in property who either don't trust anyone or don't educate themselves well enough or don't surround themselves with the right kind of people and what can be a fantastic right on property can turn into a nightmare very quickly.

Well, see, I don't want to be a lawyer, so I just have to hire a smart lawyer. And smart lawyers cost money, so you've got to be prepared to pay the money. Otherwise, you're going to have to sit down there and read the 7,000 law books that there are and the ever-changing law that happens. Exactly.

And I just don't have time to do that. Sorry. So I have to pay a smart lawyer, you know, and the same with an accountant. You know, you just, you know, I even phoned my lawyer today with a business question, you know, a particular legal question, and he said, do this, do this, do this.

And I said, that's why I've got you on my side. Exactly. In fact, you know, the lawyer that I've got, he's absolutely brilliant. I'll give him a bit of a plug he's Chris Lilly from Chilli Law small business lawyer in Brisbane absolutely brilliant

and he said to me the first time he said Julie what are you looking for in a lawyer and I said make me money and keep me out of jail that's all I need he said will you follow what I tell you and then we'll be okay and I said it's okay mate I said I'm going to be the one client

that's giving you the grey hair the quickest he's a brilliant guy really good guy Yeah, perfect. Like gold, you hang on to those people. Now, Julie, I'm sort of just mindful of chewing up a lot of your time, so I want to sort of move into what I call the ambush session, which is playing on my nickname.

And there's sort of five key questions that the audience always likes to get people's insights on. So kicking into that, what's your favourite quote and why? Always tell the truth because it's easier to remember. Can't go wrong with that. I know, right? Can't go wrong. Yeah, that's brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

Now, you're obviously someone who's pretty well read, so what would be the top book that you'd recommend people read and why? I've read a lot of books, a lot of novels, you know, fantasy and all that sort of stuff and bits and pieces. But I'd have to say at the moment my top book is mine. I actually got it back from the publishers and I know this sounds a bit weird, but I got it back from the publishers and I was flicking through it and I kept reading and I kept reading and I was halfway through the book

and I went, hey, this is really good. Oh, yeah, that's right, it's fine. Look, I do reference a number of good books in my book. Yeah. So things like Dan Millman, Laws of the Spirit, and Gary Zukov, and, you know, The Heart of the Soul, and, you know, things that, I mean, there's been many impactful books. Michael Gerber, you know, his E-Myth book, and, you know, things like that. Like, they're really, really powerful books. But, you know, the interesting thing, though, Bushy, is that I find that a book is very – I'm more a believer in synchronicity.

Yep. So if you're drawn to a book, it's something that you need to read. Yeah. And you might turn around and say, oh, you've got to read this book. And the other person's like, no, no, it's not for me at the moment. and that's okay because the message inside that book is for you at that moment, at that time. Yeah, when the student's ready, the teacher arrives.

That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Pretty much. Yeah, no, gold. You're absolutely spot on there. No, brilliant. Now, this is a complete change of direction but it's something that we hear Australians talk about all the time

in terms of they feel that they pay too much tax. So what's the top thing that you've done to pay less tax legally? I'm glad you added that last bit on there. You know what, Bushy? I think I was given a challenge one day to write down 100 reasons why paying tax is good, right? Yeah. And I completed that challenge quite easily because, honestly, I think that we need to pay tax because it keeps the country running. Yeah.

My husband two years ago had a $100,000 heart bypass operation under the Medicare system and I was so grateful because now I've got a husband that's alive and not dead, you know. And the nurse said to me, she said, oh, how do you find the price of the car parking? I said, mate, you've just given my husband an operation to save his life. Who gives a shit about $16 worth of car parking, you know? You know, get your priorities in order here.

I do think, though, that maybe the money that comes in for the taxes is poorly managed, and I think that's probably what more people are pissed off at, that, you know, like, how can someone be in government for two years, get overthrown, and then have free travel for the rest of their life and free pension? Like, what's the go with that? You know, like, I just – anyway, I think that tax is a good thing. Yep. If people are looking to pay less tax, I'd say get into business because I pay my phone and my car and my electricity before I pay tax. Yeah. You know, like it's just there's different ways.

I'm not giving financial advice, so I'm going to put a disclaimer up in my hand right there. You know, get better accounting advice and get better legal advice. But being in business has a great deal of benefits for people. And if you're not sure about getting into business with your partner, Obviously, read the book first, Dynamic Duos. Yeah, not so well-mentioned again. All right, now, swinging back into the investment stream,

what's both the worst and the best piece of investment advice that you've ever received to date, Julie? I think speaking from experience, right, we actually went into buying gold when it was $287 an ounce. brilliant strategy because the very next day the planes flew into the Twin Towers and gold went through the roof, hit something like $1,800 an ounce over that period of time. So brilliant investment strategy but terrible choice of people.

So the people that we invested in was all, you know, very good sales pitch and all that sort of stuff. It wasn't their fault. It was their boss's fault. The guy who was supposed to actually buy real gold but the guy who controlled the whole thing ended up taking off with $362 billion, that's billion with a B for Bob, billion dollars worth of investors' money and our little pocket of money was part of that.

So know who you're dealing with and if you can, do it yourself so that you've got control of it. That's what I'd suggest. Yeah, yeah, that's spot on. Know who you're dealing with. That's absolutely applicable to anything you do. Okay, no, that's awesome. And the best piece of advice?

I'm picking that's the worst. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received? Know who you're dealing with. Yeah, it covers it off in one fell swoop. All right, drilling back to your personal situation then, what's a and we've covered i think we've covered this off but i'd love to hear your gold on this what's a personal habit that you feel contributes most to your success today joy personal habit um

I just – I don't know if I have a habit of – apart from, you know, I don't know, scratching my head or picking my nose. I don't know what sort of thing you mean by habit. Or a ritual or an approach or a practice that you think – I suppose, yeah, I suppose a habit, a ritual or an approach. and and the thing i come back to is um what we focus on grows yeah now if i was to focus on all the negatives in my husband i could probably find a million of them but i choose not to i choose to focus on the positives that he contributes to the relationship to the business and i thank him for

that every day and what happens is he actually appreciates being appreciated and therefore works harder and therefore our success grows much quicker uh our our journey is much smoother uh and and i think that that contributes to the success just by being loving unconditional loving and and and appreciative and accepting of each other you know accepting of our mistakes but yeah it's a matter of focusing on the positives as much as you can and and working towards the success there's so many things that can bring us down and be negative and and yeah you know there's so many challenges and struggles but You've got to look past that and go, I'm learning from this.

This is called character building. It's a wonderful experience. I will become a better person. This is a positive. Yeah, the obstacle is the way, as Halliday says, and I just think it's so, so true. I reckon that's what we focus on grows, and you've mentioned that in the book, but it's just such a truism that a lot of people just allow themselves

to get swamped in the negativity. And I know Sonia and I stopped watching mainstream news about 15 years ago, and ignorance has been absolute bliss for us. And if something's important, you're going to tell us about it, but why would we rub our nose in that shot? Yeah, I found out about the planes going into the Twin Towers the following morning when I went down for breakfast, and I'm going, oh, yeah, the plane ride was lovely over.

Thank you very much. Oh, what? What? Who did what? Yeah. Well, we were three days. We were three days before we found out. You can unplug.

Yeah. Yeah. You can unplug and it's okay. It is like the world, the life goes on, as you mentioned earlier. It's so true with that. All right, look, hey, just to bring it to a close then and thinking now back across the rich experience that you've been through and continue to enjoy, if you spoke to a school leaver, and it might be one of your daughters

actually what would you advise them to invest their time their money and skills in to create their version of freedom look i think i think it's most important for everyone to invest their time in becoming the best person best version of themselves that they can be and that's that's a sound simple but it's not as easy as it sounds because it means actually looking deeply into into your own causes of the failings to stop that downward spiral from happening. So, yeah, work on yourself to become the best version of yourself you can be. Yeah, yeah, gold, gold. Now, that's awesome.

Now, for those that have really wired into the benefits you bring to the table, particularly in helping partners to tackle the challenges in life, whether that be in business together or otherwise. Obviously, grab a copy of Dynamic Duos. But if they wanted to reach out and get in touch with you, what's the best way? Just feel free to email me, julie at dynamicduos.com.au. Easy.

Easy as that. Fantastic. Easy as that. Look, it's been a very enjoyable conversation. I think we've only scratched the surface. I reckon I could very easily talk for another two hours, Julie, and still feel like we're only touching the edges. But that's been really appreciated you openly sharing the good and the bad.

And there's some really good wisdom in what you've shared with us. I know there's a lot of people who connect with that. So keep on doing what you're doing. And I wish you ongoing success with the book. and I'd love for you to share with me how Ellen DeGeneres reacts and others that get an opportunity like that because that's a very exciting thing that you're on. Yeah, love it.

You know, I've had fun today, Bushy. Thank you so much. It's been awesome. Really great. And next time I'm in Adelaide, I'm coming to see you. You better. I'm looking forward to that. You put the kettle on.

It's done. I might have a bottle of wine in the background as well, so don't worry about that. Oh, yeah. Okay, Julie. Sounds good. Thanks for your time. Well, Freedom Fighters, how good was that?

To get a summary of all this investment gold in the show notes, just email me on hello at khgroup.com.au. That's H-E-L-L-O at khgroup.com.au. Or check us out at www.bushymartin.com.au forward slash getinvested. I look forward to joining you next week for another episode of the Get Invested podcast. So thanks for listening. And as always,

dream as if you live forever and live as if you die tomorrow.