Property Hub - Investment Insights & Inspiration - Get Invested: Mark Reid on investing in transformational change

Starting point is 00:00:00 anything we suppress must be expressed so what you deny will never die no matter how hard you try i've tried it what you resist persists you're going to have to feel it you're going to have to feel it and then it will reveal to you deeper layers of it and that's how you heal it that's what leads us into not feeling seen not feeling heard not feeling acknowledged not feeling felt encouraged supported understood not feeling safe and not feeling loved so why we get stuck is because Welcome to Get Invested on the Property Hub podcast channel, the leading weekly show to help you unlock your full self-health and wealth potential. I'm your host Bushy Martin and each week I go deep with the best investors, experts, leaders and founders to find out

Starting point is 00:00:45 what it takes to break free from the grind, discover freedom and live by design. Subscribe now and join me and get invested in the life you really want. Let's get started. Hi Freedom Fighters. Why aren't you living your ideal life? Why does it feel like something's always getting in the way? Do you feel stuck? Are you finding it difficult to achieve your goals and make the changes that you know that you need to make? You know what you need to do but despite your initial determination you always just seem to run out of puff and you fall back into your old bad habits. Why? What's stopping you? Well today we're going to help you to find out. Because today, if tuned into something life-changing, it's going to be one of the

Starting point is 00:01:32 most important episodes of Get Invested that has the power to transform your life so that you can start to remove all of your hidden barriers that are getting in the way and preventing you from living your best life. So today, we're actually going to do something different. As most of you know, I'm a very firm believer that sustainable success, and however you decide to define it, lies at the intersection of what I like to call the three L's. That's self, health and wealth. And like a three-legged stool, if you ignore any of these or don't give them the attention and intention they deserve, then everything will eventually come crashing down around your ears. And it all starts with self, our thoughts, beliefs, outlooks and

Starting point is 00:02:13 expectations, along with our habits and patterns of behaviour that we use to navigate the world often on autopilot. So how much time do you spend working on yourself? What I like to call mirror time, to regularly take pause and make space to see what comes up and what you need to think and do differently. And if you do, what do you do to keep falling and keep feeling stuck and unable to make the changes that you know that you actually need to make? Why do you keep falling back into your old familiar and sometimes bad habits? In our current instant everything world, we all tend to look for external causes and excuses, pointing the finger at a lack of time and every other excuse under the sun. But what if a major impediment to you achieving your goals

Starting point is 00:03:01 and making the lasting changes that you need to make is not on the outside, but on the inside? It's between your ears, in your mind, not in your conscious mind, but the unknown and often unfathomable deep, dark recesses of your subconscious, where your deeply instilled beliefs, patterns and behaviours reside that were generally cemented very early in your lived experience and often result from some perceived and unresolved trauma. Now, I don't mean trauma in the graphic extreme sense. I'm talking about trauma as the lasting emotional response that comes from living through what you perceived as a stressful, distressing, scary or life-threatening event. Remembering that in our early childhood, where our emotional immaturity means that we

Starting point is 00:03:49 perceive many things as traumatic. And as we perceive ourselves as the centre of universe in our formative years, we often see ourselves as the cause of everything that happens around us. So everything must be our fault. So I'm going to list off a bunch of things and I want you to consider if any of them are familiar to you. Are you on edge? Do you have trouble managing your emotions? Do you often feel overwhelmed by life? Do you snap easily or you get super frustrated about stupid insignificant things or you're constantly taking things critically and too personally or maybe it's the opposite you don't explode you just shut down you feel unseen unacknowledged you feel taken advantage of or left out and you feel like your needs just don't matter

Starting point is 00:04:35 and you've got big problems asking for what you actually do need do you have trouble focusing or making decisions or perhaps you have some form of addiction which includes workaholism and perfectionism, or you feel disconnected from others or the tendency to just withdraw and get lost in your mind and you're rarely present or in the moment. Now, you probably recognise yourself in some of this, but you're probably thinking, sure, I've got a bit of trouble focusing and yeah, I'm easily triggered, but I don't have trauma, bushy. It's not like I'm a war veteran or I've been physically or emotionally abused or anything. Well, that was my initial reaction too. But recently, I've started doing some work that has given me the courage to reflect and recognize

Starting point is 00:05:16 that I've had experiences in my early life that have had lasting impacts on the way I behave and interact in the world. There are reasons why I constantly strive for perfection and feel performance pressure. Now, I'm not looking for blame or to shift responsibility so that I can play the victim card and have an excuse for the way I am. It's about identifying causes so that I can start the real never-ending work of reprogramming and creating new neural pathways so that I can make positive changes and create new happy habits and rewarding rituals that gradually replace the old ones. You see, it feels like I've had a struggle with perfectionism and the constant need to perform all of my life. Now, while this has been a bit of a two-edged sword

Starting point is 00:05:59 because it's pushed and challenged me beyond my limits to do and achieve things that I probably never would have otherwise but the issues inevitably arise when the better I do at anything the better I feel I need to do and as the bar of my self-expect expectation just keeps lifting to the moon the self-imposed stress and pressure becomes almost unbearable it's why I ended up burnt out broken and broke at the and pretty much lost everything at the age of 33 I was like a moth attracted to the flame of my own destruction now while I've learned to deal with it better thanks with the support of my partner in all things, Sonia, the tendencies are still there.

Starting point is 00:06:36 And I've never been able to work out where this perfectionism and pressure to perform have actually come from. I had a great, loving, supporting family upbringing and I've never wanted for anything. Yes, I was born with a hair lip and I suffered chronic debilitating asthma as a kid as we sort of constantly moved

Starting point is 00:06:53 from country town to country town where I was always the new kid on the block and was often referred to by other kids as the short ass, flat faced, punk chested runt. but all of this fired my determination to excel and prove everyone wrong and yes my father was always working so I always used to think that I was just crying out for dad's attention and recognition. So it wasn't until my wife Sonia and my son Adrian and I did a couple of awesome personal development sessions in Ubud on our recent holiday in Bali that the penny finally

Starting point is 00:07:22 dropped. What I hadn't contemplated or even got my head around until then was the potential impact of passed down generational trauma. You see, I've come to learn that your DNA is created by your grandmother as your mother's eggs are all created when she's conceived. Now, my grandmother was one of those long-suffering country wives who lived in the kitchen all of her life and she spent all of her time unseen and unheard. And my mother's experience was no different. She got pregnant on a honeymoon and because dad was always away working, she spent my pregnancy constantly stressed and unsupported and she spent most of her marriage feeling totally unseen and unheard as she repressed all of her emotions. So when I arrived on the scene as a firstborn, she was determined that

Starting point is 00:08:08 I would not suffer the same fate. From my earliest memories, mum always said that I was always going to be either a priest or the prime minister. So right from the get-go, I instinctively felt that subtle pressure to always be perfect and to be seen and heard and I always had the super critical opinion of myself and always had my critical ears on when anyone commented about me or anything I did and the awakening sessions in Ubud have started me on a journey of self-acceptance and self-healing that are already showing benefits in my relationships and interactions even though I know that I've only just started the work I need to do and the work I need to keep doing in order to reprogram and gradually replace my old subconscious habits.

Starting point is 00:08:55 Now, I know that many of you are likely to ignore or not do what we're going to talk about today, but mark my words when I say that this episode and our special guest has the power to transform your life and to help you overcome all of those invisible hurdles and barriers that have prevented you from achieving whatever you've wanted to achieve in your life today. So listen up and heed the message or ignore it at your own peril. So all of this brings me to today's very special guest, Mark Reid, because Mark's the living legend that actually facilitated

Starting point is 00:09:27 and guided our transformational sessions at Newborn. Mark's the founder of Tristed Soul Healing, where he specialises in healing generational and inner child trauma through his purpose-driven trauma method. Mark has studied, taught and helped people all over the world in multiple capacities and from his Bali base he now serves clients all over the world and helps you to heal your past to break the trauma cycle so that you can enjoy the safe loving and connected family that you've always dreamed of and live your best life so I'm really excited to have

Starting point is 00:10:01 Mark Reid on the podcast so welcome and let's get invested bro thank you brother humbled by your odds thank you mate uh really am excited uh to have a deep dive conversation today uh you know our whole family really enjoyed the time that we spent with you in in bali and i've got to be honest i came with pretty low expectations uh given the sort of woo-woo that's often associated with some of the stuff that happens up there in the hills in in bali but uh having spent the time mate it's been really transformational and uh very excited to spread your message to others that are likely to be experiencing similar things mate so so to sort of kick things off mark um the question i always like to ask people is what do you do differently and more importantly mate why do

Starting point is 00:10:46 you do what you do cool so first question why why is it different um i've spent many years like most people bishop roth where it's just desperately seeking something outside of self i've done every kind of healing modality that you can ever think of and for the vast majority of us that we don't know what we don't know i never knew how unsafe i felt in my body but my nervous system did and my brain did so automatically goes into protection mode and if the body doesn't feel safe then we live up here and it's the kind of default for all of us as men um aussie resident as you know i still get my pr but grew up in scotland so that kind of western man hairy ass strong stoic we don't talk about our feelings kind of thing that was very much me i'm actually

Starting point is 00:11:41 a very much a sensitive little soul so i had this pull to explore the way if you like i just i felt differently i never felt as if i fitted in but i was going through all the traditional methods and nothing was really working me i would have periodic moments of peace but then it would go straight back into the war and it would just keep changing it was just this never-ending like like the movies when you just go through one door and you're just in another room it just kind of looks different so it for the majority of us where it shows up is in our intimate relationships and i know we'll get i don't want to jump stories here but that was the kind of catalyst for me to go something needs to be different here i'm running out of people to blame because she's just her

Starting point is 00:12:24 with brown hair she's just her with slightly bigger boobs she's her with blue eyes she's her with a different shape behind she was into this but they're kind of all the same person oh yeah that's right of course they are because you've not done anything different so i started to go into deeper um kind of more like more realms of consciousness started studying under um like directly under like john d martini uh dr joe dispenza things like that and all started to make sense for me but dr joe was kind of the bridge into the woo-woo for me because he had enough personality because i'm like you like if it's too woo-woo like no i'm out but he had a way of making it it really healed a lot of religious wounds for me well that stuff now made

Starting point is 00:13:10 sense and but the big thing for me was when i found out that trauma exists in the body and not here shifted everything so they're just some of my teachers and like any good idea we think it's a novel idea it's usually a recycled version of someone else's so i've took the good parts of all the amazing teachers that i've had from the cognitive without i'm not saying i'm plagiarizing here but the best parts in i'm a dj so i remixed things into my own but because the more i cleared up myself you have a greater connection to all that is and you start getting downloads and deeper visions and oh what about that so started to put it all all together so why we're different is in essence we make the spirituality practical and tangible so that people can go oh rather than

Starting point is 00:14:01 having to chase a plant medicine journey or come to ubud or go and sit in a rock in the middle of sedona or climb the himalayas or go to big tony robbins and you walk fire and i've listened i've done the vast majority of these things yeah and two weeks later it's uh and back down we come nothing changes because nothing has actually got beyond so we need to know like elements of neuroscience elements of psychology but somatic work as well energetic work knowing that we are not our thoughts we're not our feelings we're not our body so the program that i've created combines all of it and a very clear step by step that you just write don't go overwhelmed at that just do this here and then this and it naturally just takes takes care of itself so many years of study

Starting point is 00:14:45 but to be honest with you um i've avoided saying this because i know you're going to go into more depth of it my experience is bro to be honest with you because there's a lot of trauma that i like you didn't class as trauma i just went oh that's just what happens where i grew up with get on with it and i was just bypassing myself so knowledge i've got we saying like knowledge without experience is is philosophy you're just another facebook philosopher right but when you've had an experience and you don't use the knowledge you'll never have wisdom so we need to combine both it's never one versus the other so everything i do is based on universal laws and principles but how can we then make that tangible that people can realize that there's two sides to everything

Starting point is 00:15:27 but how can we narrow that bipolar experience of the duality to be a bit more streamlined with who we are and what we're here to do yeah i love it man i can attest firsthand to just how uh You've got an amazing depth of understanding and awareness, but the way you deliver it for a blokey bloke like myself who's an Aussie country boy, to really warm to your message and not reject it as the woo-woo stuff that scares a lot of Aussies, but to go, hey, there's really something in this. And because you deliver it in such a down-to-earth way,

Starting point is 00:16:05 but it's also coming straight from the heart, I can certainly talk firsthand of how beneficial your whole approach has been, mate. But, mate, let's circle back now and get you to take us through your journey so far, if you don't mind, because I'd love for you to take us through the highs and lows of where you've invested your own time, energy, money over the years and why, and how has this led you to where you are

Starting point is 00:16:30 and what you're now doing? I think it's important for us to remember that it's easy to look back with 20-20 hindsight but the moment that really shifted things for me this wasn't the root cause that came after but where I went I need to do something was that I was overplaying the name blaming shame game so I called a wedding off with 10-11 weeks to go and that that took a lot mate because no one gets into a relationship to to get separated no one gets married to get divorced but i knew we're not going to have that happy ending and i don't want to be a statistic of divorce so i need to call this off but i was heartbroken and i was had so much guilt

Starting point is 00:17:17 and like most men we don't want to feel that we'll do anything to push it down but at that point a webinar popped up on facebook okay and it was a guy named mitchell behan based in australia mjb seminars uh shout out much and i watched this thing and he was irish so there was a kind of celtic connection and he explained a lot of stuff that i had read through d martini dispensers and you straight away like he's he's one of their students kind of thing or at least he's done some work anyway long story boring and i've watched this whole thing booked in for a call and they had a two and a half day like event that was happening and I went to that and it brought up a lot of shit and I really brought up a lot of anger and a lot of resentment but I got through

Starting point is 00:18:12 the end of it and I had this kind of out of body experience that seemed to last for eternity but also for a split second and i knew in that moment i had clarity around me and my father's relationship and i knew in that moment i wanted to dedicate the rest of my life for other people to feel the same and i knew the way i was going had to stop because i had a personal training business in australia at the time but it was always more like to use a buzzword it was more holistic but i was starting to get resentful towards my clients because i get very good at something that never gave me fulfillment anymore because personals i love pts but pt doesn't stand for personal trainer it stands for personal therapist right you give your guys like two seconds and

Starting point is 00:18:55 they'll come and talk to you about all their troubles and that's fine it's a compliment that they feel safe to tell you that but i was i was embodying a lot of deeper at this point it was mostly psychological but i was going right well let's talk about that but because of what the brain sees that's then the associative story that we run so you see gym you see weights no this is the physical place we don't talk about stuff but here you are wanting to talk to him about it but then there's a fear going back so i kind of knew i needed to sell the gym but we had a boutique style gym uh in perth and it was only open for our clients it wasn't general purpose so we turned over like just shy of a quarter of a brick um and i'm like that and he excelled us but there's a

Starting point is 00:19:40 fundamental issue because you can only sell a pt business to a pt but all pts are broke because they don't value it they go from the the seven dollar boot camp to the six dollar boot camp to the five dollar boot camp and then we're realizing how can the world value health when we don't but i knew i just i needed to trust because what i had experienced was greater and more profound than anything probably since like my drug taking days and it was more than that to be honest yeah so i started just starting to follow the intuition and go further deeper into the field before i know it i'm signing up for caribbean cruises with dr john d martini uh paul bailey joe dispenser dan millman uh dave logan you might know more for business which he wrote tribal leadership and

Starting point is 00:20:21 starting to push all these pieces together but in that short period of time i was supposed to get married the 13th of july i actually got married the 11th of august to someone else now kids we call that trauma bonding right but at the time sam my ex-wife she came in and i was very clear it was tidying things up that's going to end up in it's just going to end up it's not going to end up good for stacy and i i need to go that way and then sam came in and put everything upside down all i've ever wanted bushy since i was a young kid was to be a good father and a good husband i mean when i was like five six years old i used to spoon into my pillow and and peck it like that I never knew about French kissing, so there was nothing weird or perverted or untoward.

Starting point is 00:21:07 I just always felt, why is that? But I could see my wife as clear as day. That's all I ever wanted. But I fell in love with more being someone, the opportunity to be someone's husband than I did actually getting to know Sam. And six months after I was being married, I was actually diagnosed with a rare skin cancer. um and when you have that news you start to think a little bit differently about life about yourself and like we're born with six core wounds primarily right one of the mines was guilt okay so a lot of

Starting point is 00:21:43 things that i do i was all i've always been dancing between angry and guilty as is growing up in scotland which we'll get to as well but you start to look at how you could have done things better so i wanted to reach out to my ex-fiance i told my wife i said i need to go and meet her i need i need to let her know and um sam was cool about it and she said cool but just remember mark she was she was heartbroken so and i said i know i said and for that reason i need to speak to her i mean i need her to know there was no foul play between you and i and i just i want her to hear from me rather than someone else so we had met she'd met another partner she's still in australia married two kids now brilliant we've actually had the same birthday six years apart

Starting point is 00:22:24 to the day and we met we met in qatar but we're both teachers she was from this side of glasgow i was from that side so she was literally the the suppressed feminine energy of myself in female form showing me to love myself that's why i'll always i'll always love her mate we'll always have not in that sense but respect is a pivotal part of my of my journey so i owed her that and i told her and she was heartbroken but can i got through it and i realized that jesus i'm not even making cancer about myself i'm making this about everyone else so it was slap bang in my solar plexus so for any of the audience that's that's the seat of the ego that's our own self-identity but my whole life i've grown up not knowing who the hell i am because it was to perform for my father and to

Starting point is 00:23:15 perform for my mother more like uh socially or being a good boy and as long as i'm okay then she's okay i'm like whoa there's pressure to perform but then i get love from my dad if i played well at football or if i was good academically he was a teacher as well he was a principal so i subconsciously followed him even though i hated school to go hey dad i'm just like you do you love me yet funny when you can look back but in the time you don't know what you don't know so I was realizing that I was perpetuating this thing because my first thought wasn't oh my god I've got cancer it was how can I do this to my wife that I'm just married six months with and oh my god how am I going to tell my mother her first born only son the other side of the world

Starting point is 00:23:52 has got cancer so I kind of just laughed and went fucking hell mate any chance you can actually make this about you so I didn't fake it to make it but I did start to live with someone that never had cancer i was blessed to have a lot of people within the health and wellness industry that was in perth that could call upon but i started really following my intuition and i don't have a problem eating meat i eat meat sporadically when my body tells it to do but i cut that out at that point had no toxic chemicals in the household changed a multitude of different things right a lot of people say what did you do and i go everything but the big thing was i was embodying dr joe's work i was doing a lot of meditation to really bring it into the here

Starting point is 00:24:32 now and get clear that the future me wasn't trying to heal cancer because that's the end i'm giving cancer energy yeah right i was actually seeing the healed version of me that was just healed there was nothing to heal i was just optimized and then i was coming back into this and actually taking steps in alignment with that and i was living my life as the future self now so 12 weeks later they couldn't find any so i refused surgery they did a biopsy originally but they wanted to cut me all the way right round right so just disclaimer because another part of my story was i shared my story and i get called a sociopath a charlatan people back home were making up fake facebook pages put my my face on jesus's body saying he's the same dickhead he was

Starting point is 00:25:20 back then don't believe this he probably didn't even have cancer in the first place i kind of just laughed at that mate because i've had that my whole life and there's a lot of keyboard gangsters out there and i just went whatever they're going to say it to my face and to be honest thank god because i'm too old for that i can't be bothered with it but i hope and pray they never have to make the call to their parents that i had to make and also tell them oh by the way i'm not listening to the specialists because my voice bushy was screaming at me i knew at some point very early on there's a reason for this this isn't trying to hurt me this is trying to wake me the fuck up that i've been going the wrong direction for so long yeah and you're not listening to me so can

Starting point is 00:26:02 i just give you one right in the liver right and smash you right in the kidneys or whatever just for me it was the solar plexus can i get your attention to say bro it ain't working it looks as if it is the mask you're wearing to social media and all your clients but i really i really had to get clear with that so that was me then really going into the body and having to really love my body mate and get give that tlc that's led to a multitude of different stuff energy healing um qualifications studying under people have done plant medicine here and there not not too often mate i don't i don't feel a need to because the meditations i've had have took me to that same place and to be honest it healed that wounded inner child of me realizing holy shit everything

Starting point is 00:26:46 i've ever needed is within me i don't i don't need plant medicine and another thing as well mate is that the way it's even described now to a lot of people it's like oh it's like 20 years of therapy in one hit be careful with that because if you've not done the shadow work in this realm you ain't going to like what's going to come down from up there so it's kind of like emotional bypassing or spiritual bypassing people are looking for the quick fix you've heard me say and a child a lot of people come to Bali looking to find themselves and all they've done is swap their coke addiction

Starting point is 00:27:18 for a cacao addiction none of it is in the middle and it's not a judgement but I see it it's an observation and I get it so I've kind of done everything but on that path but cancer was the thing, sorry the calling off the engagement was the thing that made me start to take

Starting point is 00:27:34 radical ownership and say stop blaming people that doesn't mean make yourself a surrogate can you forgive yourself what is it you actually need to forgive what's deeper what's underneath the root so there was a lot of wounds surrounding the mother wound and the father wound and things that come up so a lot of things from dispenser which is kind of out there quantum mechanics and how can you bring it in but as much as i love dr joe i see a lot of people chasing him all over

Starting point is 00:28:01 the world as well there's the same i've now got a dr joe addiction i'm only healing if i'm in the quantum field with dr joe and you can do that anytime you like but you've signed up as a soul as a human so all these experiences are just spiritual techno babble if you don't on the daily live in alignment with how you think how you act and how you feel that's the work that's hard work so eventually you're going to run out of modalities and you're going to have to feel because if everything is all love so is the shadow aspects that you don't like about yourself and that's why they're getting louder because it's like a screaming child in the corner saying give me a to like pick me up soothe me you don't need to take it on as fact just give it attention

Starting point is 00:28:46 that's how i was able to eventually heal my anxiety attacks was actually just to sit in the anxiety and actually just give it up and just say like and i used to have these chronic over the years and just say this is that i'm on my way out here and of course because i actually just felt it you get brought to your knees feeling my eyes just now you get brought back and you just there's something that always holds you if you've got the vulnerability to be held so anxiety was one of my greatest gifts to kind of show like it's a compounded fear from childhood that's just stacked and it's shown up as cancer it's shown up as failed engagements it's shown up as Lyme's disease it showed up as now divorced it showed up as getting in trouble with the police

Starting point is 00:29:33 drugs addiction sex addiction alcohol addiction the cancel culture PTSD the depression the suicidal tendencies that are all of the above all of it was just coming from an inner child's needs that had never been met but to answer your question mate that was really the engagement was the one that i chose to go there but looking at how things that really affected me in terms of my behavior that the anger or resentment guilt paradox kind of came from being bullied at school for ironically sticking up for my friend who was being bullied and i went from hero to zero overnight but all that did was kind of perpetuate the loner that was within and then i went back again and realized i've always felt different i've always felt kind of alone i've always felt

Starting point is 00:30:24 that people just don't quite get it and i've always felt the need to like you said be perfectionist and of course you just try harder and harder and harder and actually just alienates you from more and more so actually one of the worst things we could be is whatever a version of perfect is because it makes us have nothing in common with the rest of us that are perfect messes so there's that there's the irony so but that that was the turning point for me was the engagement being called off yeah look uh through all of that and and you know with what you've just shared with us there's certainly been some trials and tribulations and and clearly a lot of introspection in terms of uh looking at what really works and embracing as you say a whole bunch of

Starting point is 00:31:06 modalities out of all of that i always like to come back to you know uh what did you discover about your core values and and the things that are most valuable to you in your life and and how does this now inform uh your picture of what your life vision and and your why is beautiful question mate i think it's so important um i think if anyone gets anything from this get like get what i'm about to say the biggest voids in your life as a child are your biggest values in an adult meaning the things that you perceive was most missing is the thing that you're inspired to going spontaneously work towards also the things that you valued as a child you might still value but values can be quite chronological and when i when i talk about values i talk more from like an

Starting point is 00:31:51 axiological point of view more like what drives human behavior what's what's valuable to you and like if we took all that away from you you would have no idea who the hell you are because it's all the stuff that gives you joy it's greater than just fleeting happiness or sadness it's it's peace it's freedom it's fulfillment it's all of the above yeah so for me um can that loneliness created a void of connection so as um as a human who tries to be conscious um my highest value is connection but that is is quite broad that's connection to amazing people like yourself connection to myself connection to the land the the crazy ballydogs that just run up to me in the street and that's another sign of healing by the way

Starting point is 00:32:36 the more animals you kind of call on the land the people our intimate partnerships our friendships our business so your highest value is your vision for life so we'll go deeper into it maybe if you could sum up in two words what i want to do i want to reconnect families yeah that's that because i think the little segue we had before we started about um people working especially men the pressure to work and then we try and buy the void of parental connection back through presence because in some level we feel guilty because we know that kids want presents they want us there they don't care what you buy us they don't want gifts you're the gift you're the prize but if the little boy inside the conscious

Starting point is 00:33:27 adult male has never felt worthy and doesn't feel like the prize they're going to spend their life living by social values which is what is or maybe i should do that i have to i need to i must these are actually um lower vibration and potentially disease causing language because it's not coming from inspiration it's coming from desperation i have to do that or else yeah so for me the voids and the values that void of connection particularly with my father to be honest with you i just wanted i only ever just wanted to know who it was like beyond i mean he was there he was physically there but he was emotionally absent and he was very shut down and communication was was one or two things well that's not true there was three things it was a lot of fun and love and things there as

Starting point is 00:34:17 well but it was overshadowed by the daily stuff it was either dad was very um like sulky he would shut down and be quite passive aggressive and just go very inward very silent whereas my mom would scream to be shout just scream and shout to be heard so i learned i've either got to be louder to get my voice across or maybe if i just sulk enough someone will ask me what's wrong and i'm that that's not the way to go so i wanted to communicate with my dad like what does it mean to be a dad me be a man like what's your trials and tribulations what have you been through what do you love dad beyond the beatles being a teacher glasgow celtic and golf like what what do you think about what goes on because i get hyper addicted to my dad's praise so much so that i

Starting point is 00:35:07 could not handle the opposite so when i played good at football especially anybody in the street people that you never knew he would he would rip it oh the wee man was brilliant today we know look reverse pass and the genius you can't teach that i had a bad game but she literally wouldn't speak to me for three weeks he would walk past me look me up and down shake his head so everything went I need to do more and it went from play

Starting point is 00:35:36 to performing and honestly I resented him for it well you'd start to hate the game too wouldn't you you'd resent him but start hating soccer it'd be something that

Starting point is 00:35:47 there's no joy in what you've just shared there no but I was I was so scared to put a foot wrong because it wasn't about winning the game anymore it was about receiving my dad's love so it was too much pressure

Starting point is 00:35:59 if I don't play well I'm not worthy of love so what happens with our voids the compound and the crate was known as your ddt that's what i call it it's like the old wrestling get your hair slamming into the ground that's what happens in the subconscious it's your deepest dominant thought and it's happening beyond our conscious awareness so my deepest dominant thought was i'm unworthy of love unless i play well i'm unworthy of love unless i'm a so scottish word is wane it means children my mum used to say as long as my wanes are okay then i'm okay and i knew very early on i was very sensitive

Starting point is 00:36:37 to everything i wasn't okay but in that moment i mean oh shit i better be okay all the time because i don't want my mum to to hurt so i felt very responsible for her nervous system and my dad's because if i played well he felt good if i was a good boy and wasn't giving my mum anything to shout about about she felt good but of course he shut down and she shouted anyway so it didn't matter what i did or what i didn't do but i took that on as mine because that's what we do as kids we don't have that part of the brain formed yet we're just hypnagogic sponges that just take in try to make sense of our environment and of course we can't because we don't have parents that are communicating what's actually going on so we need to make

Starting point is 00:37:14 sense of it so we run a story they're right we're wrong they're positive i'm negative they know i don't he's smart i'm dumb and we just put that in so that void of connection is why i value it so much but i knew through going that way that trying to connect for what i really wanted to feel inside which is all of us we just want to be loved and accepted for who we are doing the things we love which is your values the people with the people we love the most for as long as possible and the best health possible how that looks is slightly different because everyone has a hierarchy of values because that's based on your past experiences yeah but predominantly your highest value is the reason why you do what you're doing that's why the majority of traditional success that we see

Starting point is 00:38:02 in the media like your ufc stars afl players um movie stars um singers etc if you look at the story a lot of them come from nothing so that void of wealth is why they go out and create it that's why they look for opportunities to invest because they know my kids ain't going through what i've been through so the void of what they never had in the family is the big driver to of their value of what they want to give so i'm not immune to that rule for me i just want to live in my top three values every single day this is my version of success by the way is connection um health and contribution yeah i love it love it uh great segue they then in into uh the work that you do and and particularly helping people to have one recognizer in a child and then and heal some of that past

Starting point is 00:38:59 trauma that they may not even be aware of in the current frame uh you talked about uh the seven seven wounds uh and you touched on the two the the anger and the guilt side of yourself i wouldn't mind you just sort of breaking down what the others are so that uh anyone listening you can sort of get a sense of where they fit in in that regard yeah so they're kind of closely linked to the inner child ones it's probably more relatable to talk to that because it's a wee bit more so they're kind of much of the same so we have abandonment rejection neglect injustice or betrayal trust and guilt nearly kind of six predominant ones now there's a guy um breathwork is quite popular just now and holotropic breathwork was discovered by a guy

Starting point is 00:39:50 called stanislaw groff and stanislaw groff also talks about he's got a thing called the four perinatal matrices so it's the four stages between mum being pregnant and the child being born and it's what it's quite a heavy read but it's worth a read and it talks about like from a soul level when we're coming from all that is good right we're beyond the duality of night dark all the all the stuff we need to navigate as a human every day we're just pure bliss we're pure unconditional love so it's kind of the first abandonment wound we have is like we feel we're being expelled from the heavens but why am i having to go back here that's why kids are very rarely is a labor over in 10 minutes or an hour or so because they don't want to come out into

Starting point is 00:40:44 that there's that kind of resistance i was 27 hours man i wasn't going anywhere i was very happy where i was mate yeah it's nice and warm in here and then and then physically when when the cord gets cut as well in some level we feel that we can't communicate it as a newborn but we feel that because that's been a source of nourishment that's a source of connection so i mean there's even instances if you if you google some of these like there's been babies that have been stillborn and the mother has said please let me hold my child let me have a moment that's been enough to reset the heartbeat now if covid has taught us anything the void of human connection that we went through is why the whole world was valiant and couldn't wait to get back

Starting point is 00:41:32 out but like all of us we have that sense of entitlement as soon as you start having it again you kind of take it for granted right but that's that's the first we're sentient relational beings that thrive in connection and there's nothing weak about seeing that men need women and women need men not from a codependent point of view but healthy interdependence because when you're in a relationship bushy you know this as much as i do like there's relationship with yourself the relationship with your partner and then the relationship with the relationship so you need to be the observer of all three so the the voids give give way to that and it starts very very early on that kind of abandonment we we have no concept of time and space like why am i being

Starting point is 00:42:16 took away for the very thing and then it could be something as simple and this will lead into like why all of us have trauma so we've already got that at the kind of spiritual planes and now we've got it on the physical vessel grow up with that as well let's say that's a single mother delivering that we know straight away that there's an energy missing and then we can get more codependent on that fast forward a couple of weeks and months i know this wasn't isn't the same for everyone so want to be clear on that but the typical thing is we've got a mum who's trying her best to do everything she can for us day and night there for a beck and call and sod's law this day she decides to go oh he's sleeping right thank god i've not peed for two days let me go now in that moment

Starting point is 00:43:00 we sense that we're alone we put our eyes open we can't move our head or anything yet all we can ceiling and oh my god where is it i'm coming so that moment we can't measure it but that may have had an impact on your dna and your energetic bodies oh my god like i'm all alone or i don't know someone breaks into the house maybe when you're only two three years old but you all these things go in so the brain doesn't develop the analytical mind doesn't develop between like seven and eight to ten years old so when mum and dad are going through their stuff we take that on as ours one to try and make sense of it because we can't rationalize it and two because chronologically we've came from closer to the all that is when mum and dad are

Starting point is 00:43:51 suffering we just want to take the pain away because we were more of that unconditional love now all humans have conditional love all of us and that creates a lot of confusion for people as well going how can mom say like i love you unconditionally but as soon as i don't do something that's in alignment with what you expect you slam me mentally emotionally verbally or physically in most cases so my mom would scream and shout but she was quick with her hands with me as well and then it became like a pattern and i would i'm not blaming my mom for i don't blame anyone for anything in my life but through the bullying and things when i got to like 1920 and out in the street i'd made a decision that no one would ever make me feel like that again so i would

Starting point is 00:44:35 go the other way and then my mom would go like you're too quick with your hands and i remember looking at her one day going like really i wonder why that is mom but that's when i was angry so you're looking for someone to blame so the big one for me was guilt that was a big thing that i was that was brought in because i wasn't traditionally abandoned but i was definitely rejected by my father so it was linked to the academia and linking to the sport and for most men and women to be honest um that's a big part of the father wound as i get love from dad when i am performing so we need to be hyper successful um the neglect is obviously a little bit more traditional trauma that is like not being looked after not being fed not being clothed not being sheltered but

Starting point is 00:45:22 more so like emotionally as well not having your needs met even when you get a little bit older and you say something and then you become the butt of the jokes because aussies in the uk we're quick we're quick winded quick winded quick witted and we're quick winded as well quick quick quick witted we're good with the banter but sometimes it can be a way for us to try and offset our self-worth at the cost of someone else's and something and then go oh my god you just need to toughen up you're too emotional so in other ways you're not you know you're just saying hey don't why are you doing that to me stop doing that thing oh my god are you a man or a mouse all the things that we hear big boys don't cry so we just shame ourselves and it gets pushed in so we get

Starting point is 00:46:04 neglected there um betrayal can just be simply like a parent that doesn't keep their word say all right the week i listen wee man i've been working so hard i know i guarantee the weekend i'm going to take you here of course when the weekend comes that doesn't happen either so we learn not to trust them and then we can be hyper vigilant and not trust anyone which is really just a reflection of we don't trust ourselves yes and then injustice is that can be anything like for me it was a big one like how am i getting this hate i'm sticking up for my mate they get bullied and now i'm getting bullied in a walk around school for 18 months by myself hiding it was cutting classes i would skip home at lunchtime before my mum got there i would intercept the

Starting point is 00:46:47 mail this one day i missed it i was coming home from from school and my dad's car was there way earlier i done anything you want to tell me and then it came out but in my head i had my mom from a very early saying never let them see you cry she does this thing with her eyebrow but never let them see you cry the end of the sentence was come home and cry into your pillow if you need to i had already checked out though bushy i'd heard or crying is bad don't do that so we learn just to be like in whatever coping mechanism we do we just put the weight of the world on our shoulders and we just shrink but anything that we don't express anything we suppress must be expressed so what you deny will never die no matter how hard you try i've tried it what you resist persists

Starting point is 00:47:36 you're going to have to feel it you're going to have to feel it and then it will reveal to you deeper layers of it and that's how you heal it but those are the six kind of primary um core wounds and that's what leads us into not feeling seen not feeling heard not feeling acknowledged not feeling felt encouraged supported understood not feeling safe and not feeling loved and the story that goes in there then at the deepest dominant thought is i don't feel worthy of love or i am not worthy of love so we go we go from i don't i'm only worthy of love when i do that to just I'm the worthy of love and it gets buried deep in the subconscious and it'll play out as a extension of one of those core wounds primarily right well that's a probably a great

Starting point is 00:48:21 segue into the the question that I sort of started with in the introduction that plagues all of us and and that is what holds us back why do we get stuck and why do we find it so hard to make the lasting changes that we know that we actually need to make multi-layers and that's good um so why we get stuck is because most of us get stuck in our heads um and the body keeps the score the body remembers what the mind forgets um so the body is the first protocol we need to do but for a lot of us we're already aware in some level that that's going to be confronting and we may not be ready to confront it yet so we just stay here as a means to try and be safe

Starting point is 00:49:08 the ego runs wild the ego is not a bad thing it's just a thing it's a protective mechanism so i'll look for associations in the brain to give points of familiarity and what happens is we confuse what feels familiar to safety yeah just because you've experienced it many times doesn't mean it's safe but in some level because we keep subconsciously thinking about it and then we behave in accordance with that thought then we have an experience and then we feel a certain way and then it compounds the brain it's just part of the brain doesn't switch on the prefrontal part to think greater than that it's the limbic system that's running the show now from the trauma so just go oh you keep thinking and feeling this way so you must want more of that cool let me

Starting point is 00:49:52 rearrange your reality to mirror back that perspective so you get what you want and you go why god why is this happening what's going on with me or what's wrong with me something that we usually go there's nothing wrong with you you've just developed mechanisms to try and feel safe so the underpinning of everything is safety so we go here in a desperate attempt to feel safe but the irony is it just spirals more and more out of control yeah so we need to go back to the body first and foremost right not very many people talk about that though bushy so that's a big reason as well that's why i'm so grateful for for this opportunity that's where we need to go first so we want safety we go here we seek the familiar but we still don't feel right you don't feel your

Starting point is 00:50:39 thoughts no your body feels that they're in alignment with your thoughts okay and when we can't when we can't think greater than how we're feeling negatively we're headed for a genetic destiny of just repeating the past like i said the the partners or the jobs or your health trials and tribulations whatever it may be you may have temporary uh reprieve but the deep-seated stuff is kind of going to go there because what we see in our sensory environment is only five to ten percent of consciousness all right your dog that's barking you're like be quiet maybe they like here Here in Bali, it happened to me last week. They kept, in the middle of the night,

Starting point is 00:51:19 little wolves out here. And I'm like, oh my God, bro, what are you doing? I'm like, right, we hear you, enough. And it was just, and I went, oh no, that's a deeper one. Put on the light, and there's a snake there. But they couldn't see the snake, because it was deep in there. But they could feel it, and they could sense it,

Starting point is 00:51:37 or maybe they heard something at a pitch and a frequency that I couldn't. So just because we can't experience it consciously doesn't mean it's not true. You can't listen to your podcast and someone else's at the same time well maybe you can that's a bad analogy but you won't nor should you should only be bushies um but you get what i mean that's and that's sometimes that's where like that being unable to have one presence to be really be there and be held leads to things

Starting point is 00:52:09 like adhd and aspergers and autism and things like that and that's what it's like it's trying i remember being an ex-teacher in a behavioral school we get taught this years ago it's kind of like watching being at the sports bar and watching trying to watch 10 different things at the one time that's what it's like for these kids so but that's a response pattern to the trauma that's stored in the body yeah so if we heal that first that's get a greater chance now obviously there'll be clinical people that will be listening to this that are more qualified than that that i don't want to have that as a blase statement but for the most part it's the body that comes up and even through like um things like the understanding the vagus nerve and our nervous system and

Starting point is 00:52:51 polyvagal theory within that there's way more data from the gut to the brain than there is the brain to the gut so a lot of it is we jump into safety mode here which is really survival mode yeah which is stuck in our bottom chakras so that we can't create anything new when we're in survival yeah right so if a cobra comes in here just now i'm not going to go oh let me create a new reality and tap into the quantum field i'm not going to meditate that away it would be wise to allow my nervous system to appropriately respond with a fight or flight signal i ain't fighting that so i'm going to run sorry bushy i need to go i'm out of here i'm not going to try and here we go there's a pendulum right no i'm gone right so it's important that people know that to heal the

Starting point is 00:53:36 bodies to heal the nervous system first that's actually what we bond with our mothers first of all as babies so we don't bond with this person that we see we bond with our nervous system so that's why a lot of us kind of know that we feel responsible for mum because we know something isn't quite there and that's not just in our generation that that is ongoing and it must because it helps everything that you thought you wanted and you didn't get is your mission to go get yourself that's the divine design but to come back into the body and understand that there's there's more data goes from the gut to the brain than the brain to the gut it's like a highway there's 80 percent afferent data goes up through the vagus nerve which is really the trauma nerve

Starting point is 00:54:18 that's where we hold all of it goes from the colon through pretty much every major organ all the way up and attaches into the brainstem kind of somewhere level here with the ear two ways afferent a for ascending efferent for going down 20 fibers more than kind of eight percent more traffic so it's kind of like going to one of these instagram ballet waterfalls and sitting underneath it and trying to levitate it's not going to happen there's too much pressure going in the opposite direction so why are we focusing on mental health when the body and the emotional health of the body is what because it's too scary for us mate it's going to bring up too many things and we don't need to consciously be aware of that because 90 to 95 percent of us already know that

Starting point is 00:55:06 that's what's going on and it's a protective mechanism to because it doesn't want to hurt us but then when you start to realize that something's not quite right we can guilt and shame ourselves for not doing it earlier or i wish i knew that before that no you were meant to do it now brother and sister or whoever it is it's doing it like can you just have a bit more grace and a bit more gentleness and compassion to yourself because if you don't love all aspects of this don't expect anyone else to you're going to attract people that are going to trigger these parts of yourself not to be a narcissist or gaslight you or hurt you or abuse you that may how it's playing out but like the cancer for me but only go to that depth if you keep trying to

Starting point is 00:55:48 live a shallow existence yeah so we so we need to go to the depths of our own soul and just go and hear from our thoughts isn't the way to do it there's a time and a place for it but only when i call it the trauma onion only when we've peeled off layers of the jacket and had the body feeling a safe place again and processing certain emotions where there is guilt shame unworthiness depression anxiety fear anger whatever it may be that's another question uh answer to the question in the beginning why we're different because a lot of people do traditional timeline therapy and it kind of drudges up every single thing in the past but the brain doesn't compute time the way we do it's a man-made structure for us to understand elements okay it just feels it in the

Starting point is 00:56:31 now so every time you go back to a past event you're creating the same trauma responses to me i don't need we don't need to do that so once we regulate the nervous system we look at what emotions and the ladder of consciousness have come up most often for you and how do we feel into them now by all things connected that emotion is going to play out in multiple different times so if you neutralize the emotion all the events that are attached to it also neutralize it's a quantum principle called entanglement it's like a popcorn effect when you go there so we may know our story of what happened to us but maybe to protect that fear and that unsafety we had to get angry just to kind of battle through life and then oh my god i can't believe i did that

Starting point is 00:57:20 i'm such a bad person or i'm i don't feel good about myself because i've done that thing the action that's guilt shame is forget the action or inaction i'm just a bad person but i feel underneath all of it is unworthiness because what we're saying is i'm unworthy of love which is really you're unworthy of life and there's nothing closer to death sorry i went a bit of a rant there but um that's good we don't know what we don't know bro and the body has an innate wisdom so just catch yourself if you go here for the familiarity and just go oh thank you man they're trying to protect me i get it but i'm going to go here i'm going to go more into the body and that's when you need to get someone that's qualified in this field and someone that's

Starting point is 00:58:02 going to help you do it because we can go and walk in water and you can do that if you want we can go walk in fire with a big tony go to dr joe all these amazing people that stand for something every day in humanity but if it doesn't have lasting change because you're acting in alignment with the new you and the now because you've you've done the shadow what dr joe doesn't talk about i don't think that's correct personally i think you can't create a great future by avoiding in your past yeah i think you've got to face it that's and to be honest with you i think that's what we all need to do because it's easy to just look at and pedestal oh my god dr joe's amazing but if you're looking up to someone in time and space it means you're below

Starting point is 00:58:45 them eventually you'll slam them because no one likes feeling inferior so that's the real reason why we don't change because mum or dad we have here yeah there's usually one or the other we usually have a private um reprimand for one but we have a public praise for them what's mom like mom's amazing she's the salt of the after that like do you really feel that i'm not saying she's not but for me that's what i used to do because in all the years of doing this work i feel that the mother wound runs deeper with men and it does women certainly from the inner child point of view maybe as women get older because right oh when you're gonna make me a gran and all this pressure with that kind of stuff to perform comes out but usually it's like daddy's little girl mommy's boy

Starting point is 00:59:31 because we feel responsible for our mother's like no that's my mom i'm gonna i'm gonna fight to the death for her whereas for females that's the man that they they trust and if they don't have that they run a fantasy of what it should be and what happens is there's an energetic fields mom and dad occupy time and space this fantasy of what we wanted them to be rather than who they were and seeing the divine gift of who they were and why they had to be that way so we've got them here so no conscious partner can ever get in because they're occupying time and space so we either settle for unconscious partners or when we go to get someone and we've got a chance to evolve beyond that we sabotage it so you need to take mom and dad off the pedestal and to do that is to

Starting point is 01:00:16 allow yourself to feel the pain of what you didn't receive growing up and allow if that brings up anger towards them or guilt that i'm talking this way about mom whatever it needs to be felt because as long as you don't it will fall into one of the double id it will result in injury to try and get your attention because this is how well you're not paying attention emotionally let me come down a level to the physical all right still not here's an illness no here's a disease no okay you can you can guess what the last day is checkout time so for me the the more awareness you have the more you start to see the subtle moments that i am not in balance i'm either putting someone on the podium of opium and i'm putting someone in the shit pit either way i think i would never be

Starting point is 01:01:07 like that and you get too pride and life will humble you or you're too humble to go oh my god they're amazing well that's also you because how else could you see it and another if it's not because you're seeing it from here but trauma obscures that it can't you can't access that part of the brain it shuts it down so that's why you're just trying to think positive love and light think bro do you think i've fucking tried that i've been night terrors for 15 years i keep it like i've read the secret of i've been doing the law of attraction i've been doing manifesting all these catchphrases you only manifest what you feel worthy of and you only you only manifest what feels safe to receive so if you've never had something before it represents the unknown

Starting point is 01:01:56 the brain registers as a threat and you'll go oh no I better just stay here that loop of thinking hormonal release feeling is what keeps us anchored in the familiar past rather than stepping into the new future but it's linked to somatic work first regulating the nervous system and having the courage to go in to look what happened in early childhood and realize that yes mom and dad did the best with what the new how but it's okay not to look back with 20 20 hindsight because you can only heal the shadow when you see it through the eyes of the child at that time otherwise you'll make justifications for your behavior or their behavior and it will just keep playing out yeah yeah beautifully said mate i want to jump in there because there'll be a lot of people listening to

Starting point is 01:02:45 who are going what is semantic work what is the what is the shadow shadow work and i wouldn't mind sort of uh capturing this within the the solify sessions that you run because again you know i want to get into now some of the actual uh mechanisms and the approaches that you've you've approached that really are breaking through uh to the inner child and starting to heal some of this uh sort of almost invisible trauma that that most of us are actually working through so can can you sort of talk about solify and and the the sort of uh modes that you are incorporating into that exercise and for sure why they help and how they help for sure mate so a quick answer to the somatic question it just means the body so somatic release work you're just releasing it for the body it's a

Starting point is 01:03:31 very simple thing and if anyone kind of wants like a couple of free tools with that mate i'm happy to send you some things and you can give it to your listeners like a 10-step process to go into that but solify um is a combination of four five primary elements we finish with a meditation but the the kind of active part of the session involves sounds and frequency as a specific playlist that i've made it's got like hypnotic uh affirmations and it's also got binaural beats better weight brainwave patterns i'm a dj and it's a it's a big gift to me is music from my father that's where we really bonded the specific tracks that i've used some it's just instrumental that are in specific frequencies and others have like lyrics that really tap in and open that up

Starting point is 01:04:20 so that's the first kind of section of it the second thing is that there's three breathing techniques that i teach you to start balanced then we ramp the body up and then we come back down nice and safe at the same time as that i will be coaching you through typically for the first 15 minutes because if we can keep the the conscious connected up regulating breath go it actually switches off that monkey mind the inner critic that we all have that voice that says you're not good enough you're not worthy enough you're not sexy enough you're not smart enough you're not successful enough you don't have enough money whatever it may be that actually starts to shut down and we start to get into this automated pattern of breath because the breath is

Starting point is 01:05:00 the bridge between the body and the mind yeah so it's an easy way to start getting into to body work and we're going directly up the tube because we're like donuts we've got one hole one side one one one actually here that opens up at certain parts when we do a certain breath and the the coccyx and the sacral does the same at the bottom of the spine so that energy that synovial fluid cerebral fluid that goes up the spine starts to carry messages because we're no longer blocking it in the bottom survival chakras so the breath starts to circulate that up if we can keep that going for 15 minutes that voice dials down and we can access the limbic system straight away so now we're in the center of our stored feelings and emotions now with that if you've got someone

Starting point is 01:05:44 that's doing somatic work on you as well will now get double the attention on the body but you're keeping it going and playing your part as well with the breath so it's kind of like this dance and the music guides the breath and the breath guides the music and then on top of that we work through your the seven energetic layers of the body as well so we're going from what's happening from a kind of woo-woo sense and how that frequency that's higher frequencies how that then slows down and ends up in here in the body so energy work body work breath work the music and sound and then at the end of meditation to kind of bring it all back in that's in essence soul of fight and that's in 90 minutes and someone on monday there came out and one had said

Starting point is 01:06:33 can you i thought she was looking to win the dancing competition she's body popping everywhere can you i'm really struggling i don't feel scared but i'm really struggling to ground here can you help me i said yeah of course so we did some extra body work with her and she went wow that's like an ayahuasca trip i'm really struggling to integrate a little bit so we helped her with that i had another girl that was just very pensive she was eastern european and she said why am i able to feel differently in two hours this took two and a half years in traditional therapy and i said i don't i don't know i can't i can't answer that other than you're ready to receive and feel more so i'm very blessed me i get these kind of things every weekend and the

Starting point is 01:07:19 beauty of of bali being this kind of attractive hub is that you get people from all over the world coming to do this but it just reminds us that we are have way more similarities than we do differences and all of us have trauma in some capacity traditional trauma that that some of us we think oh yeah i don't have any if you've ever felt you weren't seen or unsafe anything unheard unheld not having the touch and the nurture from a parent like we've all got it in some level okay because we carry the mother wound from her then you touched on it in your introduction about the eggs so gran pregnant with mum mum is a fetus has every egg she's ever going to need as an adult so you as an egg in a single cellular organism it's already in there so you're feeling everything

Starting point is 01:08:04 that the mum has and then when it's mum's time and you become the fetus like that genetic tagging that the point of conception between mum and dad like your your dna is made up of every conscious and unconscious thought action feeling they've ever had so that's that's it's that and then it gets activated from through the buff and depending how traumatic the birth process may be so we all having some some capacity to soulify allows us for a soul to fly but land safely so that we can integrate it the next day and the days going forward to do that and although this is like a one offering here and we are looking to take it all around the world my clients that work with me long term actually have access to this and we in our weekly calls we do versions of it there's

Starting point is 01:08:51 actually seven different versions that i've created i'm going to create more but we start there's a kaleidoscope as well so we just watch these patterns to take us down and then we lie back and then we begin so it lasts for about 90 minutes with a little bit of grounding time and then a little bit of explainer time in the beginning but for me that's the the five key key ingredients that allows everything we've spoke about to this point to be experienced because otherwise this is just a guy talking for an hour and a half and oh that's kind of that's kind of cool but yeah okay well i i can certainly say yeah mark that uh having been through the solify experience again i i'm one of those typical ozzy guys who's a little bit skeptical about stuff and

Starting point is 01:09:34 i was like well i'll go for the ride and i'll see what happens i i was amazed at the awakenings and the realizations that came not not directly out of it there and then but in the in the couple of days after after uh i was amazed at the things that suddenly uh you know penny drop moments are like okay okay there's a real realization there that uh that that whole process just clearly freed up my whole system uh to allow that stuff to to start taking root so um And I'm really a big advocate now of what you're doing with the Solify exercise. Thank you, brother.

Starting point is 01:10:14 But I guess I'm going to flow on from that because we then, having enjoyed that experience, that really inspired us to do your sort of Safe Love program and spend a day with you and working through all of that. Again, for those that are listening in, can you give us a bit of an overview of what that's about and how that operates and the benefits that come out of that program as well?

Starting point is 01:10:36 yeah so the safe inner child workshop um yes it stands for it's an acronym stands for being seen being accepted being felt and being encouraged and for a lot of us we never had that grown up um at least we didn't feel that we were seen for how we wanted to turn up we felt we had to turn up a certain ways there's a lot of pressure so in this i teach people the kind of where creation began and the whiteboard and I bring it in and I make people understand

Starting point is 01:11:10 the different frequencies from the point of the big bang all these things and where we end up within it and people have different takes on that but the fundamental thing to realise is the world like Tesla said is energy frequency and vibration

Starting point is 01:11:25 and whatever you can't manifest a new future that requires you to be on this frequency if you're stuck down here and beating yourself up is certainly not the answer either it's just understand you've got trauma so we really teach you what trauma is and what trauma is not so trauma isn't what happened to you it's the experience of what happened to you it's it's how in fact it's the result of the experience of what happened to you but also not only what happened to you but also what didn't happen to you so the needs that you needed as a kid

Starting point is 01:12:01 that weren't met can have a traumatic imprint in the nervous system so if that's still playing out in later life there's trauma there that's stuck in the body so we we kind of dispel the myths of what trauma is and what trauma is not and show people that the key to healing that is to start the body um and realizing that within our body is is a little we're all little children and adult bodies there's just that little part of us that has never been integrated and the journey of healing is really for me is about reparenting ourselves okay and doing that with no guilt and shame towards mom dad but actually seeing what why they were the way they were and how it was essential and anything different is just going to you're not going to be you not from here but i

Starting point is 01:12:49 felt sense that's what we do in our ongoing programs but in this inner child workshop we teach you what the core wounds are we go on deeper and show how they they affect you in different aspects we do this the inner child meditation that allows you to to meet your inner child you then have access to that going forward and we do if you remember the be a rock with ears exercise where you you actually sit and listen to someone and it helps you cultivate pure presence and your communication skills because all relationships break down when there's no longer a synergy of values.

Starting point is 01:13:27 That doesn't mean you have the exact same because you can't. They're completely fingerprint specific. They may look the same. You may even label them as the same, but they'll look different based on your past experiences because no two people have the same. But we need support and we need challenge.

Starting point is 01:13:42 We need the yin and the yang in order to grow. That's why relationships are so difficult because especially for people my age or a little bit younger, when it gets tough we're quick to exit we're quick to run away or the opposite we settle down which just means come down in frequency we settle for less than we deserve so i show how how your inner child wounding is playing out in different areas of your life and how we can then go about healing that going forward and we use different regulating um nervous system

Starting point is 01:14:14 regular practices like the ice baths the breath work the meditation the um vagus nerve reset that that we can do and things like that happen into certain areas of the body there's multitude of different things there but basically practical tools so that when you leave we've got that there and giving people a recording of the thing as well because they'll always be i'm a great believer that there's there's always like one sentence there's one thing in in one ear at one time that just kind of changes the game for people so we give it so that you've got the knowledge and the experience so that when you're looking at that again it's coming into your sensory pathways it will take you back to that time you go oh shit that's right or let me pull that out the locker

Starting point is 01:14:58 at least i've got something to do because bali's got a high turnover of people so i'm like listen if i never see you again i want to know that at least you've got something that's going to make you feel better in the moment and if that then opens up more to go there's more to this or solify brings down what the block is but you go right the question is how do i do that and this is a key component for the listeners bushy that co-regulation comes before self-regulation meaning we need each other the day the days of the black sheep particularly to the men that are listening here the days or particularly to remember the the hyper boss babes right there's nothing wrong with loving your business ladies but if it's coming from that i need to go alone

Starting point is 01:15:46 to try and prove something it's typically a father one thing in there that you need to look at a little bit more yeah not always but for the most part if you're trying to prove something to someone what about if it was not about trying to get them to understand but just you understand yourself a little bit more and be a little bit more compassionate and loving there and going into that but for a lot of us we're always we're always push push pushing until we can't push anymore so the inner child it's not about that it's about pulling back a little bit pulling back the veil and allowing ourselves to just if we can calm the nervous system what opens up is our values giving ourselves um permission to be more playful to embody that in our child essence to let that

Starting point is 01:16:33 part of ourselves know that hey i've got you i'm sorry that i get caught up in here and i've neglected you for a little bit but it's just because i was trying to heal you but i was trying to do it through action rather than just being and coming back in and just seeing that that is okay we don't then want to have the child make all the decisions for us because that's kids do daft shit but it's about making them feel safe it's really is the foundation for everything so because we've got something for the mind the mental health the emotional health the physical health but then we can get beyond that through the soulify session within it we've really got something for the four key domains of physicality mental emotional spiritual to take

Starting point is 01:17:15 away with and because everyone has different needs whatever resonates most with you is what you'll take away with it I remember I remember you processing the wee bit at the end and I really that meant the world

Starting point is 01:17:31 to me brother because to see you there with your son and your partner I was just like that this is why I do what I do yeah it was a very special day mate not only for the process you took us through,

Starting point is 01:17:48 but as a bonding exercise and something that the three of us are going to remember for the rest of our lives. It was a very, what's the word, mate, pivotal moment, actually. So I've got to thank you for the heart that you put into that whole exercise. It really has started all three of us on a journey of really looking looking at ourselves and and sort of starting to heal some of those invisible wounds that quite often we're not even aware of so I really want to thank you for sort of embracing us in

Starting point is 01:18:25 that journey mate it's been been absolutely awesome and the reason why I was so keen to get you on the podcast today because I just know how valuable what you do is and and how there's so many of us out there that it could really benefit from the work that you're doing in that regard. But, mate, I'm going to switch now into what I like to call the ambush series, which is just the quick questions that you get a blindfold and a cigarette on all our podcasts. So to kick straight into that, Mark, what's your favourite quote and why?

Starting point is 01:18:54 It's one of my own. Is that okay? Yeah, absolutely. I like it. When play becomes your purpose, performance becomes your product. That's pretty self-evident what that means. if we switch into the literary field for a moment you're clearly a a big reader or a big listener of other stuff what's the top book that you'd recommend we read and why in relation to this

Starting point is 01:19:16 whole self-healing subject oh god that's a tough one sorry it's a lightning round right commit mark um the way of the peaceful warrior is the first one that came to my head uh dan millman it's actually the is the basis of how i want to write i'm in the middle of writing my book it's called the meandering journey home the loner's pathway to ultimate freedom connection and love that's the book that i'm writing but it's it's very much inspired by dan's because it's basically his autobiography written as a fictional thing but based on universal laws it's genius i love it well i can't wait to read that mate uh put me on the pre-order list there's right now and now last one of these mate uh what's a personal happy habit or rewarding ritual or a daily

Starting point is 01:20:01 discipline that you employ that's contributed most to your fulfillment and success today uh probably movement mate yeah is it physical movement if i'm honest it's been what's been most consistent yeah i don't need to say any more than that but so i and as a guy i'm exactly the same it's the days that i don't move that i get most grumpy and and and frustrated so it's a absolute essential part of uh what what we do uh sort of final question to bring it all to a a conclusion mark what are your key takeaways and must-do actions for those of us who truly want to break through break with the past so that we can live our soul's purpose and do what we love with the ones we love i think i think the first thing is just to be aware

Starting point is 01:20:46 that there's something that needs to change because if you don't you're just going to live in denial and i want to say whatever you've done or not done and whatever has been done to you or not done to you you're still worthy of love for so many of us get caught up in guilt and shame so i think just be first of all just be aware that something needs to change then take action on that and in fact before you take aligned action these are the triple a batteries i say to change your energy awareness acceptance aligned action and then from that when you accept that there's two parts of you and come in here when you do your trauma work which is in the self-acceptance that's the shadow work and in there make the body a priority regulate the

Starting point is 01:21:31 nervous system process the stuck emotions in the body then go into perspective then it's top down bottom up first then top down and when you go into perspective you need to go into the pain of the past of them um your inner child find them nourish them and heal your mother and father wounds they are the key to liberation once you've accepted that you will have an aha moment of no matter what has happened to me all that has ever been there for me has love I've just been in a form that I didn't recognize now if I go back into looking at the trauma just as a singular event yes that was horrible 100% that this has never been bypassing what happened but if you live your life through that narrow lens you can never accept the brilliance that's

Starting point is 01:22:19 trying to make its way to you so when we do our trauma work and we combine all of this and this heart opens the wall around her heart opens your eyes open it's like looking through the world as a newborn for the first time nothing is missing and usually in that moment the beauty of the duality collapses back into truth which is love and you realize that the worst thing that happened to me is also the simultaneously best thing that happened to me and I want to dedicate the rest of my life to make sure that other people either don't feel like that or if they do I'm the person that can help them be the guide from the side not do it for them because here's another quote your deepest pain is your soul's purpose and for as long as you suppress it you will never

Starting point is 01:23:06 fulfill your destiny so only when you've done that work and you then know who you are and why you're here your hierarchy of values will become crystal clear that's the action you take in alignment with it and then before you know it you're living your vision well i might beautifully summed up uh you've really encapsulated uh everything it needs to do i really encourage people were listening to this to do the work as i say that a lot of people were paid lip service to the exercise and then allow life to get in the way i really want to encourage everyone who's tuning into the show to really take some action on this and for those who have really resonated with your message mark how can they find out more and get more involved with you that

Starting point is 01:23:48 as as modern as it is it's a little bit oh really but yeah you'll get the quickest response instagram um i don't like being on it as much as i am but i like the feel and i like being creative so it's at mark m-a-r-k read r-e-i-d healing mark read healing all one word beautifully done mate uh i've certainly been communicating with myself i'm i'm i'm a an instant neanderthal as you probably noticed mate i just don't look at the messages anywhere near enough but uh certainly a great way to communicate so i'm really going to encourage everyone to do that and mate uh really uh uh very privileged to spend the time with you today mate uh you've been very generous with your time and uh i really want to keep the conversation going

Starting point is 01:24:34 mark so we're let's keep in contact yes definitely mate can i just offer something for your guys um i really pride myself me and i'm having the integrity the world doesn't need more wounded healers it's easy it's easy to talk it right and one of the biggest things that i'm working on just now is actually a certification program for someone but the the prerequisite is you need to be a client of mine you need to have embodied the work this isn't about learning new shit this is but embodying it so that when people are going through the shadow you can skillfully guide them through it and safely that's the big thing so i'm working on that just now um that's coming because the world needs this stuff to heal but it doesn't need more knowledge it means needs more

Starting point is 01:25:23 experience i'm happy to give you so the up level of safe inner child is safe love which is you get over 40 different practices to regulate the nervous system so i'm going to give you because it's venus retrograde just now let's call it like a valentine's offer 14th yeah 14 days free on me even if you never hear from me again i'll give the link log in and go and experience it for yourself because otherwise i'm just saying cool stuff people can go and experience it and if you like it then my um my selfish selfless view would be to continue to help you going forward and integrate it but at least in those two weeks if you utilize it there'll be things in there that will go right but how do i practically do that so i want you to do that maybe as this is coming

Starting point is 01:26:12 that's not what i was going to offer your guys but yeah let's give them the experience please very generous man i'll make sure we include that in the uh show notes as well so that uh people can pick that up and get in touch with you and uh you know that you can do a lot in two weeks if dedicated in making the change and that's certainly going to give them a personal experience of what you do and how you do it as a as a way of then continuing to work with them mate so again thanks for your generosity thanks for your time let's let's keep the conversation going mate awesome man thank you i appreciate you man thanks mate thanks for tuning in to get invested on the property hub podcast channel your home for property investment insights and inspiration

Starting point is 01:26:53 and don't leave yet until you've taken the next step towards living by design by getting my award-winning book get invested absolutely free when you sign up at knowhow property.com.au or bushymartin.com.au and finally make sure you subscribe to property hub to get your weekly dose of get invested inspiration along with every episode of realty talk australia's leading property show for red hot property investing news and insights to rate from industry leaders and influencers. Remember to always get invested in your knowledge and I look forward to seeing you next time.

Property Hub - Investment Insights & Inspiration - Get Invested: Mark Reid on investing in transformational change

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