Puck Soup - 2016 Puck Soup NHL Awards

Episode Date: June 23, 2016

Greg and Dave present the 2016 Puck Soup NHL Awards, featuring a galaxy of star presenters and sterling production values! That, plus controversial changes on Hockey Night in Canada; the Maple Leafs and overpaying "franchise" goalies; Steven Stamkos and the Buffalo Sabres; why Buffalo isn't the new Cleveland as far as "loser" cities; the NHL in Las Vegas; why Dave hates the end of "Independence Day"; listener mail; and an exciting round of "NHL Draft Prospect, Vine Star or Los Angeles Menswear Store?

Now entering nerdist.com. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to whatever you commute. But we also cover movies, TV shows, it's and tunes. It's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense. Welcome to the 2016 Puck Soup Huck Soup NHL Award show, live from the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino on Beautiful Vegas, Nevada, because the NHL was so hot that its awards are off the strip.

Please welcome your host, Greg Wischinski of Yahoo Sports's Puck Daddy Blog, and Dave Lozo of Vice Sports, the comeback, Up Rocks, Mumble, Mumble, something, something. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for that. Oh, you guys are too kind. You know, originally Will Arnett was supposed to host this, but this being television and him being Will Arnett, it was canceled before anyone could find it. Oh, man.

Yes, yes, Greg. We are in Las Vegas. perhaps the future home of an NHL franchise. That's right. The owner of that team, Bill Foley, is here tonight. And, you know, I haven't seen a Foley this excited that since someone finally bought that news radio box it on Blu-ray. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

You know, some people don't think a hockey team in the desert will work, Dave. They say this is a dangerous place where people give away their hard-earned money on bad gambles that never work out and have devastating long-term consequences. Yep, that is true. And that's why Bill Foley is excited to announce to hire. of his team's new general manager, Dave Nones. No, no, no, no, we are excited. We are excited for hockey in Las Vegas, and I think an expansion team here can work.

If you want an example of how hockey can be very popular in a mostly barren wasteland, despite decades without winning anything, just look at Canada. Oh, man. Oh, geez, wow, that's a singer. You know, Dave, Dallas stars Captain Jamie Ben is here tonight. Yes, yes. Round of applause for Jamie Ben.

You know, last year, Jamie led the league in scoring and won his first Art Ross trophy. You'd figure that'd make him happy, but he was actually quite miserable, knowing that there was nowhere else for him but to go down. Oh, no. What? Oh, no. That's wrong me? Oh, that's something I said? Oh, poor Jamie.

By the way, Jamie, by the way, Jamie, I saw a lighter in some smoked salmon in the back, but I know you hate to Bick Lox. Oh, poor Jamie, poor Jamie. You know what, Greg, though? You know who's here tonight? Who's here tonight, Dave? Phil Kessel is here tonight, folks. All right, round of applause. Phil Kessel.

Love Phil. American hero. You know, Phil actually hit big on the roulette wheel earlier tonight, but unfortunately, the Canadian media decided that Sidney Crosby deserved to benefit from his efforts. Oh, my goodness. Another robbery perpetrated by the Canadian media. Poor Phil. Poor Phil. Chins up, Phil.

P.K. Suban is here tonight, Dave. Yeah, love P.K. Give it up for P. Yes, yes. Give it up for P. He's not a fine list for any award. He always just shows up when there's a red carpet and live cameras. Oh, come.

We love PK. We love PK though. Nice suit, though, by the way. You know, who else is here is Randy Carlisleau, Randy Carlisle, folks. Ladies and gentlemen. He's also not a finalist for any award, but all the people the Ducks wanted to get,

he was the only one that was willing to show up. Oh, man, exactly. The only guy they can get. If you need Bruce Boudreau, you know where to find him. It's Vegas. Boy, how about the outdoor games this year? I mean, the winner classic between the Boston Bruins and the Montreal Canadiens was the least watched game

in the history of the event. reruns of law and order had better ratings than this year's Winter Classic. You know, the NHL saw those law and order ratings and realized, you know, people really enjoy seeing the same repellent characters that frequently avoid punishment for their crimes. That's why the next five Winter Classics will all feature the Chicago Blackhawks. Oh, my goodness. Oh, geez. Oh, man. Skirting the law, yeah.

A lot of bad types there for Chicago. But you know who's here? Who's not a bad type? Who's that, Dave? John Scott, folks. Give it up for John Scott, man. That's right. The Canadian hero in an American All-Star game.

Got to love John Scott. You know, he went from healthy scratch to All-Star to All-Star MVP. Gary Bettman even handed him a giant check for a million dollars, and Scott didn't even have to join the concussion lawsuit. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. You know, Dave, his life is now being made into a movie. Yep, I sure ruined his life, didn't I?

Yeah, you really destroyed that guy's life. Exactly, ladies and gentlemen. Millions of dollars fame in a movie. Oh, boy. But sitting right next to Scott is NHL director of hockey operations, Colin Campbell, who said that Scott shouldn't play in the All-Star game because he would embarrass his kids. Oh, come on, ladies and gentlemen, this is an award show. Have a little bit of decency.

Come on, he's a guest here. But if there's one person who would know something about doing things to embarrass their kids publicly, it's Colin Campbell. Oh, come on. He played through a broken leg. He's stronger than LeBron. No, no, that's his kid. Colin Campbell's the bad one. Greg Campbell's the hero.

Oh, right, yeah, Greg Campbell, right. Colin Campbell used to be in charge of player's safety, but the current man in charge of player's safety, Stefan Kintel could not be here tonight. It's kind of sad. He got in a bit of a fender bender, and he was sitting at a red light. He was looking down at his phone when a truck rear-ended his car and sent him to the hospital. Yeah, that's really scary stuff, Dave. But, you know, Stefan Kintel remained true to himself through all of this.

He blamed himself for having his head down. And since the operator of the vehicle was a member, of the Pittsburgh Penguins, Kintal said his license shouldn't be suspended after all. Oh, my goodness. Oh, geez. Boy. Come on. You know, it's not like they're biased towards certain teams or anything, right?

Just joking around, Stefan. But finally, Patrick Kane is here tonight. Yes, Patrick Kane is here tonight. Well, we don't have any jokes here. We just want to let everyone in the air you know that Patrick Kane is here tonight. Folks, we got a great show plan for you to see. So why don't we get to the first award of the evening, huh? Now to present the Vezina Trophy, please welcome Christopher Walken and Bain.

I was like, the crowd took a lot of applaud for those two guys. It's bringing out, Waukeen and Bain, folks. Bain, there are many Goldendez who had great seasons that are in this category. Is that how you talk? Yeah. What a lovely, lovely voice. Bain, Bain, how are you here? You destroyed an entire Pittsburgh team by blowing it up from the sidelines.

But how does that make me any different than deposed coach Mike Johnston? Oh, oh, wow. The time is at hand to announce the finalists. The finalists for the Vez and the Trophy are Braden Holpey, Washington Capitals. Ben Bishop, Tampa Bay Lightning. And Jonathan Quick, L.A. Kings. Jonathan Quick is considered one of the three best goaltenders in the National Hockey League this season. Yeah.

Impossible. Oh. Oh. Bain. Oh, and the winner is... Braden Holtby. That's great. Unfortunately, Brayden could not be here tonight, here to accept the world.

award on his behalf. Is Toronto Maple Leafs coach, Mike Babcock? Um, you know, Braden is the type of player that gives 120% out there. Played good. Likeed his form. Like to stuff. You know what else I like? Winning the draft lottery while rolling in a bed of American money.

Suck it, haters. Thank you. And now for our next award, the Selkey Trophy. Please welcome Hockey Hall of Famer, Phil Esposito, and notorious underworld crime boss and poker player, Teddy KGB. You know, you know, Teddy, to win the silky trophy, you need to be an excellent forward willing to play at both ends of the ice and do it very well. All night, you must back chick, chick, chick, you may get played or two say, he trapped me. I remember back in 1976, I says Kenny Hodge, I says, hey, what have we tried to win? You know, we tried to win the Selky trophy this time.

And he says to me, Phil, the Selky Trophy, what are you, queer? Oh. Don't you worry, son. It will all be over soon. The finalists for the Selky Trophy are Patrice Bergeron from your Boston Bruins. Hanje Kopitar, Los Angeles Kings. Ryan Kessel, Kessler, Kerk. Ryan from the Anaheim Ducks.

No Russians are for this award. It's a fucking joke. Easy, easy over there, Teddy. And the winner is Anji Kopiti. Star Ani Nees could not be here tonight. Here to accept the award on his behalf is to round the Maple Leaf's coach, Mike Babcock. Oh, you know, Anj is the type of player who gives 1905% out there.

Like those compete level, like his dog. Also, I forgot to mention that I told Kenny Island that the Detsuk contract with some cock-eyed Russian bullshit. But does anyone listen to old babbs? No, sir, they don't. Thank you. Up next is the Calder Trophy for the league's top rookie. Please welcome sports talk show star Jim Rome

and the American who pretends to be British while watching Premier League soccer on weekends. James, there were some spot-on rookies having quite a go this year. Not unlike the footballers of Leicester City, who were right firecrackers on the pitch the way these kids were anything but tosses on the ice. The Calder Trophy is given to the NHL's best rookie. The best rookie wins the Calder Trophy.

If there's a rookie and he's the best, he's going to win the Calder Trophy. End of discussion. These lads are all deserving of this, so it's short a drive supporter's dressed in rival kits proper mental if those teams lose. Here's the facts. Dear Jim, these rookies all have the juice this season,

but I think Connor McDavid is, A cut above, signed Orenthall. Rackham. Right, oh, governor. The finalists are, Colonel McDavid, Edmonton Oilers. Shane got to spare, Philadelphia Flyers. And Artemey Panarin, Chicago Blackhawks.

And the winner is Artemey Pernarin, Chicago Blackhawks. Bloody hell and fuck all, loves, Artemie could not be here tonight. So yet again, since he's got nothing better to do, Mike Babcock will accept the award on Artemmy's behalf, so jog on. Oh, you know, Artimi is the kind of player that gives a 296%, like his velocity, a lake is gumline more than Taylor Halls.

Did I mention as part of my deal with the Leafs, I can use the CN Tower as a giant dildo on the weekends? Thank you. And now, please welcome the musical guest for the Puck Soup NHL Awards, Vivian Wischinski. And now, it's time for the Norris Trophy. Please welcome film legend George Luther. and the stereotypical Italian character

from every episode of The Sopranos. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Disney. For all the sacks of my... Tonight's nominees are the best of the best when it comes to defense and will do anything to stop and attack, much like the rebels that defended

the base on the forest moon of Endor. Oh, Endor? I can't even get my wife to give up the back door. Oh! You know, I once created Wado, the winged Toydarian junk dealer on Tatah. Some said he was a stereotypical Italian like you. Hey, oh, if Wado was Italian, he'd whack that Anakin and made a bowl and gobble goo.

Oh, maybe I should just read the finalist, jiggle, jiggle, neck fat. Oh, whoa, you do what you gotta do? I gotta do what I gotta do. They are Drew Dowdy of the Los Angeles Kings. Oh, Brett Burns of the San Jose Sharks. Oh. And Eric Carlson of the Atulah Senators. The envelope, please. Never really got many of these for the prequels. And the winner is Eric Carlson, the senator from Naboo.

And now in a move that's likely to go over like Jar Jar Binks farting in a Death Star elevator, here is Mike Babcock to accept on behalf of Eric Carlson. You know, Eric is the type of player who gives 155.3% out there, like his speed, like his sick. frisay and end-dive salad he calls hair. You know, a lot of people don't realize this, but with the contract I got from the Toronto Maple Leafs, I could individually buy the Ottawa Senators today

and relocate them to my eighth bedroom. Thanks, Bell and Rogers, and thank you. Please welcome from Sirius XM, Christopher Mad Dog Russo, and from WFAN in New York, Mike, the Sports Pope Francesca. Dog, I can't. I can't believe this announcer got my name wrong.

I'm the sports pope, and he's getting my... Francesco. Who the hell is Francesca? Anyway, we're here to give away the Jack Adams Award, which ain't going anywhere until I get my damn jack and die of coke, okay? Seriously, this bartender is to drinks, like Rick DiPiatro is to afternoon drive-time radio. Mikey, Mikey, the Jack Adams Award is giving to the best coaches in the game.

We're talking about hockey's answers to greats like Bruce Bochy, Dusty Baker. Leo de Rocha and John McGraw. Dog, John McGraw with the 1895 Baltimore Orioles. How many had bats there, Mikey? 388. What's the average there, Mikey?

He's a 369 hitter. Nice, Mikey. Here are the nominees for the Jack Adams Award. First up, Gerard Gallant from the Florida Panthers. Lindy Ruff, Dallas Stars. Barry Truff. Barry Trux.

Washington Capitals. Easy for you to say, dog. And the winner is... It's Bill. Bill Pacells. Bill Pard sells forever, everybody. No, sorry. The award goes to Barry Trots. And here to accept on behalf of Barry is...

Oh, shut up, you whale. You big, fat, dumb, diet coke-drinking whale. Never. Not once. Not once has your boy, Mikey Babs, won the stupid award. You know who has? Brian Sutter. Bill Barber

Orville Tessier Look I might be on my 12th scotch But what in the ever-loving Fuck is an Orville Tessier Thank you Thank you once again Coach Babcock And now our final award of the night

The Heart Trophy Please welcome from NBC Sports Mike Doc Emrick And from the upper anus of Sidney Crosby Pierre McGuire Nevada The Gold Rush People from across the United States of America

traveling westward to discover nuggets of dreams and the oar of hope. But tonight isn't about gold. It's about silver. The silver of the Hart Memorial Trophy, named for Cecil Hart. Don't get Edsel. You got to love the Hart Trophy. Wayne Gretzky at Bradford, Ontario, who played with the Indianapolis Racist

the World Hockey Association won at nine times. It was in 1939 that Cecil Hart would walk away as general manager. Of course, the Pittsburgh Pirates would know a thing about taking a walk as they signed Bob Walk as a free agent in 1980. Here are the nominees for the Art Trophy. Jamie Fenn, Colonial Rocker Rockets of the W.H.L. Sidney Crosby, Ramoski, Oceanic of the QMJHL. And of course, Patrick Kay, Patty Kay, London Knights of the OHL.

Oh my. And Sidney Crosby and Jamie Bennett have been waffle-bordered away for your winner. Patrick Cain. He couldn't be with us tonight as he left about 20 minutes ago. So accepting on his behalf is that's right, Mike Babcock. You know, actually, it's me, Jeff Blaschell, coached you to Detroit Red Wings. Mike was arrested 10 minutes ago for trying to use the King Clancy as a pisspot, so I'm here on his behalf, who was here on Patrick Kane's behalf. I don't got to say much.

Eat more Little Caesars, so my new office and the new arena has a bathroom and whatever. Thanks. This concludes the 2016 Puck Soup NHO Awards, well, almost. Here's NHO Commissioner Gary Batman. Thank you. Thank you. You know, I haven't had a reception like this since the last time I appeared in public. I just wanted to thank the greatest fans in the world for their continued support of the National Hockey League, despite my best efforts. And I wanted to remind all of you that the World Cup of Hockey returns in September. Tickets are available. Sponsorships are available. Hell, for the right price, you can still enter a team.

in the tournament. Where are you at, China? Seriously. We gave ESPN the rights to the World Cup of hockey, and during the NBA final, they promoted the 2 AM Sports Center more than this tournament. Please don't make us crawl back to the IOC begging to go to Pyong whatever. Thanks, everybody.

Well, that's the 2016 Puck Soup NHEL Awards. Any final thoughts there, Micah? They flow so. Just two. The final two thoughts. Answer, one, I think we probably should have thought twice about booking the stereotypical Italian Sopranos guy and Francesa back to back. That was probably a mistake on our part. And I'm pretty sure Mike Babcock just threw up in my gift bag.

Oh, no. Thanks to announcer Chris Wilson, and we'll see you next year, everyone. We'll be probably doing the show from way off the strip. Bye. Good night, everybody. Thank you. Patrick Kane's out there somewhere. Welcome to Talking the 2016 Puck Soup Awards with your host, Greg Wasinski, and

Dave Lozo. Oh, thank you so much, Chris Wilson. Thank you so much. Yes, welcome to talking 2016 Puck Soup Awards. The after show of the official 2016 Puck Super Awards. Thank you to Chris Wilson. Thank you, sir. Our trusted friend and the best announcer in the business. Absolutely. As far as I'm concerned, he's the best announcer this show has ever had. It's very true. Dave, the bit, the bit. The show that people just heard, obviously, recorded before the NHL Awards, we assume that they were all right. Those are the ones that were the ones that were. that we all think are going to win. They're our awards, so technically we can't be wrong.

We can't be wrong. If there's one award, as people listen to this the day after the awards, if there's one award that you were nervous about, what would it be? Like in terms of it being, like, correct? In the terms of us not getting it right. Dowdy. I still have a bad feeling. I have a bad feeling about Dowdy as well winning.

And I also feel like maybe there's always a chance that they're going to go in a different direction than... Panarin? No, no, no, no. I think Panar. you know, the Connor thing, the Connor thing had me nervous. And then I thought, I saw the only two people that voted for Connor were Steve Simmons and Damian Cox. Steve Simmons has me blocked on Twitter. I'd noticed yesterday.

I've never, I've never tweeted at him once. I feel like I wrote a thing when he was dicking around with the Toronto Raptors. I think you probably read that. Damian Cox does not have me blocked, which really came in beneficial lately. He's, he's still, he still has his account lockdown as of taping of this episode. Damien Cox asked someone for a photo. But like, here's the thing about that. Like, I feel like he was already engaged in a conversation with somebody who I feel like they were probably already exchanging photos.

So it's like, I mean, I understand he's not a single man. Not the thing that had happened a few times of creeping, creeping. Right. Like, he wasn't cold calling somebody for naked. He was just middle of a conversation, slipped into a tweet. But, like, I feel like he's been locked down now for like a week. Yeah. I don't know what that's going to do.

I think that's probably Sportsnet PR protocol. Yeah. You know what's funny, though, is that, like, he, the greatest thing about the Internet is like when you are someone, who is a hot takest like Damien Cox is. And I run hot and cold and I'd be honestly. Like I don't nearly have the same vitriol for Damian that I do for someone like Simmons who just basically quit on life and quit on logic and just decided to just be this fucking character charing. Destroying people for no reason.

But when like when you're someone who is clearly, you know, poke the hornets nest as much as Damien has when it comes to social media and fans, the amount of amazing content that was generated by that wayward tweet or wayward DM, where you had Leaves fans tweeting, Hey, Damien got a selfie for you. And it's like them pulling their tank top back to reveal their male breast. So here's the story. So me and Wish were out doing trivia that night at a bar.

And we saw the tweet while we were doing our thing. So we both decided to send like tweets that were supposed to be DM responses. And like four days later, somebody sent me a text with a screenshot of my tweet and was like, what the fuck was this? And I'm like, yeah, I guess if you don't follow Damien Cox and me

and we're on Twitter at 7 o'clock at night, on Wednesday, you don't get what I was doing. It actually really looks like I was, except my tweet was like, I can't stop farting and I'm bloated, so I can't send you a selfie right now. It was funny to you and I, much like the first 18 minutes of the show.

Oh, let's touch a little, okay, you're nervous about Daddy. I'm nervous about Coach the Year, but yeah, whatever. And the awards are whatever they are, and I'm sure that Dave and I will be given our takes on Twitter if you want to see our reactions to the actual show. Let's pause on SportsNet for a second.

Yes, let's talk about that. Talk about that on the other show that I do. That's a, yeah. It's like, it's like, you know, it's like not liking your wife's friend.

You can't really tell her about it, but you can tell me about it. My wife. Um, she, I work it with a strombo. By the way, uh,

stay tuned for the DVD extras of the awards show as we do all the impressions that we wanted to do for the awards bit, but didn't boreat the bug from Menin'Black. Yeah. Sugar and there. And water. Um, I could not do that voice for much longer because then I sound like cookie monster.

And then the, joke don't make sense when you make bug joke. Much like how my my Bapcock at some points morphed into my former college roommate Monkey Boy from Wayne, New Jersey. I feel that's right. Hello. Oh, you also like this smashing pumpkins?

I like this smashing pumpkins too. Like people are so used to the rhythm of the show probably at this point where, you know, you start it. You know, you get the Seekek thing, you get the song and then like we talk for 10 minutes and just could go right into a thing that you're just not ready for.

You're like, this is terrible. Where is this actual show start? Like, where can I cut this off? and start the regular thing. Much like everything else in the show was funny to us. Okay, so George Strombolopoulos is no longer the host of Hockey Night in Canada. They go from Ron McLean to Strombo to Ron McLean, which to me makes Ron McLean the Randy Carlisle of television hosts. It's like, we got this guy, he took us to the promised land, but now we are going to go in a different direction because maybe he's not as well-liked as he used to be.

We're going to bring in someone else. He's going to bring in some pizzazz, and we're going to skate up and down the ice. do the thing, except now we realize that maybe we're not even as successful as we were before. So we're going to go back with what we know to the guy who clearly maybe his time was past as being the head

of the show. See, like, the hard part for me is like, we're not Canadian. Like, I don't watch Strombo. I don't watch hockey nights. So I have no idea how good he was or how bad he was. Like, I'm just going off of the Toronto Star, Toronto Sun story where they were like, oh, well, people at the executives producers were saying to him,

like, you know, maybe don't wear skinny suits. You know, maybe change your... And it's like, not for nothing. Like, if you actually have a dude who can sit around and talk about hockey, who can fit into a skinny suit and like a skinny tie, like, you know, one of those Shaw McKenzie jobs, like, if you look good enough in one of those that you can pull it off, why would you want to not have that on your show?

Why would you want to have more dudes wearing, like, frumpy suits that just fit over your expanding... Like, I don't... The whole thing about him being a VJ and all that stuff. Like, again, maybe he wasn't good. I have no idea. It's so hard to talk about. But, like, the ratings weren't bad because he was wearing skinny suit.

The ratings are bad because you had no Canadian teams in the playoffs and the Maple Leafs have blown for two years. There's no way you put that on Strombo. They had their worst ratings ever or whatever in a season in which the team that's always on was intentionally trying to lose many games as possible. The thing about Stromba when I would see it, and you know, in full disclosure, like I work for sports and that.

I can't be too critical here or whatever, but like I feel like maybe he was miscast. And we talked about that with Ronick before me and you, like the idea that Ronick would not be the abomination that he is on NBC. if they would just play to his strengths. And I feel like in Strombo's case, it's the same thing. It's like, this guy is without question one of the greatest interviewers I've ever seen.

A Howard Stern level interviewer, as far as like what he's able to get out of people, the rhythms he establishes. His talks with Gary Betman, if you could find him on YouTube or some of the best interviews I've ever seen with Betman. Like, Batman actually, you know, lets the chain mail down for a second and lets information slip and opinion slip. It's pretty crazy. But when his job is to try to make the show hip and then throw it to Nick Kiprio, I know, right. Like, it's hard. That's not playing to his strengths.

His strengths are sit him down with four people on comfy couches and just have him roll. But it's television. You can't do that because you only have an intermission to do it in or whatever. But is it like a Jonathan Jureen on the fourth line situation or is it just like he's Patrick Stefan and isn't what people thought he was going to because I don't know. I thought he was fine. Like I feel like you have to give him more than a year to grow into the role. I feel like the problems on that show and, you know, I don't think it's any.

secret or speaking at a turn to say that there's a likeability challenge with that show, especially vis-a-vis what TSN does, where everybody looks like... TSN literally looks like everybody's wearing a warm sweater and has a cup of cocoa for you when you tune in. And then SportsNet comes on and it's like a bunch of angry white guys in like an industrial complex and they've been locked in there to talk about hockey. Like I've never seen Nicquiprio's smile, I don't think. He never seems happy.

There's going to be major changes that happen there. But what... Is Strombo funny? Strombo can be very funny. Yeah, but I don't know if he's really. really funny on that show. The thing with Ron McLean is this. Like Ron does, you could look at it two ways. You could look at him as being the Randy Carlisle of hockey television and where they're bringing somebody back who didn't work, you know, at the end of his tenure and now they're bringing him

back to try to recapture the glory. Or you can look at the strombo year as Billy Crystal on SNL. When Lauren left, they had that weird-ass season. Maybe it wasn't Billy Crystal's year. It was definitely the year where like Anthony Michael Hall was on. It was like that weird ass one year where like Jim Belushi was on, Anthony Michael Hall was on. I think that was Christopher Gast. I think Billy Crystal was that year too. And then Lauren came back and then you had the Eddie Murphy years after that. I didn't realize there was that one year of that.

There was a year where Lauren wasn't there. I thought it was all Lauren. No, he wasn't. Yeah. He got into a big fight with the president of the network and left and then he came back and then the show became the show again. So you could look at it as the show becoming the show again. But here's a thing. Like, when I would watch Hockey Night in Canada, and granted, like you said, we're Americans, so we didn't.

But when I would watch it, the thing that I loved was the hot stove thing. That'd be the thing I'd watch every week. That's the one where, like, they sit around and talk about the rumors. They were all on a big table. Ron was at the head of the table, and he would be like, Pierre LeBron, what do you have this week? Well, Scotty. Scottie. Scottie.

Scottie. That's a rumors. You know, and like, it would be everybody giving their best rumor and then debating the topics. but what happened was when they eventually like when those other guys would all the insiders move to tsn outside of elliot like then when you have is like the hot stove league table and it was like PJ stock and I like PJ but he's not exactly like Joe insider he's not a spit in the knowledge there like Drager and McKenzie are so like I feel like the show the show needs to change it needs to morph it needs to be different and it kind of makes me upset that that strombo didn't get a chance to be the head of that table here's here's my complete guess without ever watching the show as to why people didn't like him. He's kind of got dark skin. I'm serious. And he had a stud a stud earring. He's got an earring. He's got an ethnic sounding last name. That's hard to pronounce for people. And most hockey fans are white dudes that are shitty a-holes. And I just feel like that comes up on your screen when you've been

watching like old white men for years and years and years and you have a shitty reaction to it. Should have learned their lesson. I mean, if you're going to lose hundreds of millions of dollars, dollars don't do it with Greece. Because Greece is bankrupt. Oh, I think he's Greek. I was having a Viet moment where you're, I was like, wait, Greece to play or Greece the country. Sorry. No, but like, yeah.

This is why everything we do should be scripted. Hi, I'm George. And welcome to the fuck soup 2017 awards. No, but like I just, I just picture like, like, imagine any other human being hosting, like, imagine if like you heard like NBC was like, yeah, you know, we totally. McHugh to stop wearing pocket squares and pastels and you know he didn't take you would that never happen I just it's just it just seems like a weird sort of like cultural like and he's not even that young he's he's born in 72 so he's carry the one about 42 years old no 44 years old

so like he's not even it's not even it's like this like young punk who comes in on a skateboard and is like hey you squares are you saying he's not poochie he's not poochie he's not poochie like but he did go back to his home planet like I just I just I don't know man like I I would bank, like, I feel like it's less about ratings when shit's bad, and I would err on the side of, like, people just not liking somebody who's not an old, white, white man. But I don't know. I am an old white man, so what are. But they like the old white men on TSM, though.

Although Duthy's young. Dothie's the real cute of all thing. Duffy is the host on TSN really kind of makes everything better. Like, he elevates everything. He's a guy you want to watch. Watchability is a very big thing, and I don't think a lot of the guys that are currently in the mix on the hockey. in Canada have it. Right.

Like, whenever trade deadline or, you know, free agency comes around, like TSN's shows. Blows you watch, right. Like, I've never watched the hockey night one, but like,

I don't know. Maybe I'm nuts. I mean, if you're Greek, you're a white guy, you know? I just, I don't know.

I just feel like, I just, man, hockey fans are idiots. And you just show, like, the slightest bit difference from anyone else around you.

And, you know, maybe, oh, he's from music. He doesn't love hockey the way everyone else does. Yeah. I don't know. But again,

This is all me facing on a never-wishing show. He's from music, by the way, as much code as he's a New York lawyer. That's what it is. For Gary. Like, seriously, oh, God, I can't imagine being Strombo. I love to get Strabo on to be like, what was it like the first time some dick came up to you and said, stop wearing cool suits and skinny ties? I would have fucking flipped out at that.

What are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. Have you seen what Don Cherry wears? Seriously? Motel wallpaper every night. It's insane. So you're telling me, I'm young, good-looking, I'm hip, and I know how to talk on TV. I'm a great interviewer.

And your problem with me is my pants. Like, really? you dick I know I know Speaking of the Leafs by the way Freddie Anderson's

now the franchise goaltender I So weird Five years 25 million dollars They traded a 30th Pick overall

in the draft And a second round Or next year For him And like I got no You say it's weird I got no problem

With it Like there is a A Look If you're looking For a guy Who's going to be Your guy

How many How many 26 year olds With playoff experience A decent body of work, a guy who's showing the potential to be quite good, are out there. And if you find when you got to get it, that's why the Schneider deal with Lou was great, because he saw the opportunity. Oh, but he's so much better than he got...

Oh, I'm not saying that they're in the same league. But they're getting paid about the same thing, right? But you have to. You don't have to. What are you going to do, trade for him, and then lowball him? And he's like, you're the Leafs. I'm the first guy you're going to lowball. Freddie Anderson's played 125 career NHL games.

Say percentage 918. Yeah, he's average. Like, Corey Crawford gets paid too much. I always see Mark Lazarus on Twitter whenever a goal he gets signed. He's always like, you still think Cory Crawford's getting paid too much? Yeah, yeah, actually. Yeah, I do. Yeah.

Kind of. Cory Crawford is Brian Bickle, but he's better. But he has a team in front of him that can make him better. And like, that's the gamble. But that's the gamble with Freddie Anderson is that, like, you're going to get him to play in a Babcock system, and you assume that his numbers are going to be commiserate with that system. That system that, by the way, almost put Chris Osgood in the Hall of Fame. But, yeah, a system with ridiculously good players playing in it. Toronto's not going to have that next year.

And Toronto's, again, his numbers aren't all that different than Jonathan Bernier's. I'm like the lone, I'm like the last living member of the Jonathan Bernier family. Apparently. Where I would have just said, you know, give the dude one more. I mean, he's played the last two years behind terrible teams. Like, if you put Bernier in Anaheim for 125 games and Anderson in Toronto for the same time period that Bernier's been there, just the past two years, Their numbers would probably just be swapped. Yeah.

I don't think. And five million a year, I feel like that. That's like the opening offer that Freddie Anderson's agent should have given Toronto. And they would have been like, all right, that's a good starting point. And that nope, nope, doing it done. That's a good deal. Five and 25. But like if you're going to, like next year, they're not going to tank.

Toronto's not tanking next year. So I get why they want to get better. But it's like Jonathan Bernier is going to be there next year. What if Jonathan Bernier playing behind a better team is like a 922 goalie? Did you get yourself a nice? little goalie competition for a year and then you're going to be left with the guy is not as good as Jonathan Bernier. Listen, I agree with the idea that goaltenders are either, you know, the single greatest

investment you can make or a fucking albatross. And in some cases, they're great investments. Like, you know, Lundquist, great investment. Yeah. Like, there's some guys that have worked out. Although up and tall. Schneider, like Pecca, like Tuka. They're all great investments.

But then you get guys like Mike Smith. And, you know, Jonathan Quick now, apparently. Okay. But I think that's recency bias because of Martin Jones. Okay. So what's Corey Schneider making? Seven. I think he's making seven.

I'll find out for you in a second. I think it's seven. I have the internet here. I think he's making Tuka-Rask money. Maybe he's making six. He's making more than Freddie Anderson, and he's very, very good and very worth the dollars. But since The devil's acquired him, he split time with Marty Bruder. Six.

Six. Yeah. So, so Freddie Anderson's five? And Corey Anderson's five? But, okay, so last year the Devils were a bad team, and they were probably trying to tank, and it didn't work. No, because that bastard, they pay them too much. And what's the devil's first move this summer is to add Marcus of Arts contract? So it's like, what's the point of having a $6 million goaltender who's worth it when your team is bad around them?

And so I don't think that they thought the team was going to crater the way it did, though. The Devils are trying? Yeah, the devils. And that's, to me, the real issue with goaltending is that the thing that makes it go from being a really smart investment to being a bad investment is the trajectory of your team, not necessarily the poor play of your goalie. Like, I mean, in Mike Smith's case, it's the poor player of goalie, but it's also the trajectory of the coyotes.

You know, one contract that looks like a pretty shrewd investment. Like, Flurry. I mean, like, you know, Flurry's contract looked great until he, until all of a sudden this kid comes up, nearly wins MVP of the playoffs. Now all of a sudden, the contract is an albatross. Yeah. I guess, like, if you keep Bernier, if you go Bernier Sparks next year and then Bernier's awesome, You got to pay them.

Meet Garrett Sparks. That guy had a really good run of terrible movies in the 90s. So Lady Bugs. Lady Bugs. Beat Wally Sparks. Beat Wally Sparks. Rover Dangerfield, the animated Rodney Dangerfield movie. Oh, God, I had forgotten about that.

That's right. Mm-hmm. But he wasn't, was he in Caddyshack 2 or did he avoid Cadet? I think he avoided Caddyshack 2. Maybe he didn't. Like, Dan Aykroyd replaced Bill Murray. Right. Jackie Mason's the proper.

Jackie Mason replaced. Jackie Mason's a Ryanager film. Rodney, right. Yeah. Rodney, it goes pretty much Caddyshack Easy Money, and then that's it for Rodney. Easy Money might have been the first movie I ever saw Boobes in. Remember the scene where the neighbors laying out? I think I was probably like nine years old and I was like, oh, I don't know what's going on here.

I know exactly the first movie I ever saw boobs. What is it? There's two of them, actually. I don't know which one came first. I didn't mean to come, I didn't use come first in that state. It was the Sean Penn movie Colored and 101 Dalmatians. the dog was feeding the other dogs and that counts. So, yeah, that's good.

It was Debbie Does Reno. I don't know why my dad showed. It was my pick for family movie night. No, it was either the scene in airplane when everything is going crazy on the airplane and all of a sudden the girl with the boobs runs in front of the camera and just like jumps up and down inexplicably and then runs off screen. It's either an airplane one or it might be an airplane to the sequel. I forget which one it's in.

But it's definitely, there's definitely boobs in one of those movies. But I think the first one probably was just one of the guys. The single greatest boob scene in the history of adolescence in the 1980s. Yeah. I wonder if like kids today even had that moment because of like porn on the internet. Oh, no way. There's no way they had that first movie. Their first look at boobs is on YouTube probably.

When they're like using your phone as a kid and they're like watching like candy being on rat and they just like tap the wrong button. And they're like on like porn hub. Yeah. Daddy, what are these eggs? No, no, no. My daughter is always watching YouTube. She's watching that dumb asshole who's, you know, his entire family plays Skylanders and then they do comedy bits. And he's just popping out more kids because they need more cast members.

Come on, honey. I need a straight man for my eye jinks. But like she's playing on the YouTube. And all I can think of is when am I going to have to look over and be like watching her being like, hey guys, it's me, the Dildo Queen. I'm just like, oh, how did you get that? Well, I was looking at Queen. I searched the Ass Queen and I typed in As Queen by accident. I was looking at Disney Queens, and then I hit D Queen and this came up.

I love the progression of conversation from Freddie Anderson's contract on the cap hit and how it pertains to the Leafs for the Next Five Seasons to Boobes to your daughter. You're in Puck Soup. Bapap-ba-da. No, the going rate for goalies is whatever. The thing that has me excited about the, the, the next week and the draft and then free agency after it is

and this is not necessarily an original thought. I'm stealing it from my other radio wife, Jeff Merrick. I feel like we're going to see some offer sheets, man. I feel like all these little newbies that are taken over these departments the egghead analytics

guys and the new GMs, especially in like Florida and places like that, I don't think they're beholden to the old boys network and I think we're going to see some offer sheets. The only thing that keeps me from believing that we're going to see offer sheet madness is the constant threat of someone then offersheeding your guy. So in Florida's case, like they've got cap space out the wazoo. They've got money. You know, they got the whole thing. They've got these new uniforms to sell. Like, I could totally

see them offer sheeting somebody, especially on defense. But then you got to worry about somebody doing a team with Echblad. That's the only thing that keeps these teams in line is the Dean Lombardies out there. They're like, going to come wet my guy? Go ahead, Nick, Mike. I'm going to put meth in his Pence and he's going to get arrested. He's not going to be able to play in the NHL next year. How about that? Allegedly, that's what he did. By me. Like, here's the thing. Last summer, there was all the threats of it, right?

Douggy Hamilton, Brandon Sade. This year, with the cap not going anywhere, I don't know if there's really any teams in a position outside of, like, Arizona and the devils who have the room to do it and sign their guys. Like, I was looking it over yesterday. Like, if, say the cap sits at, what is it going to be, 72? Something like that, yeah. Like, there's, there's so few teams that have, they barely have the room to sign their own guys. They're trading, they're trading guys and attaching them to bad contracts so they can get Nick Schmaltz on the frigging roster.

That's, that's why the Red Wings are fucked. Yeah, like, with the Datsuk thing. I was looking at that, too. Like, there's pretty much the devils and the coyotes are the only two teams that can take Datsuk's contract. And everybody was like, why can't you just trade Datsuk? Like, they traded Pronger and they traded Savard twice. I'm just like, because, one, who's going to help out the Red Wings? Two, it's a completely different time of year in which you're trying to make that deal, as opposed to the trade deadline.

And the cap hit. And then three, you've got a ticking clock because you want to use that cap space on July 1, presumably to try to give Stamcoast an offer. And then, like, everybody knows it. Right. You have all your own RFAs to sign. So, like, come July 7th, how many teams are going to be able to take on $7.5 million? Oh, that's why someone should offer sheet the fuck out of the Kaiser. Yeah, but then you have to have Danny

the kind of... Oh, come on. Boom! Oh, no. Zing. No, he's fine. He's a good defense. The thing I'm excited about

with the Stamcoe sweepstakes, by the way, is the creeping notion that it's going to be Buffalo coming in with a mega Wombo offer. I was pushing that today. I think if I'm his agent, I'm like, dude, just at least get the offer out of Pagula, right?

Like, don't even... You don't have to go there. Right. Like, I'm only going to Buffalo because I have to for the draft. Like, I was looking over our question. By the way, that's another thing, too, we should talk about, is how Cleveland wins a sports championship, even though Lake Erie won and won first, but whatever. Cleveland Cavaliers, so now Cleveland's no longer the loser city. And people were all pushing Buffalo on me. Like, no, but like, Buffalo's only got two teams. I don't think you can count that as the loose. So like to me. Oh, right. If you don't have a basketball team or a baseball team, like, how are you the big loser city? Like, and the one I kind of forgot about that I thought D.C., I thought, you know, Minneapolis, St. Paul, they get to divide up the losery stuff up there. Atlanta.

Well, Braves. Braves won a World Series in the 90s. Falcons won when? Falcons didn't win the year with Jamal Anderson? They lost to the Broncos. Oh. They lost to the Broncos. The Braves are bad as hell right now.

And they've lost two hockey teams. They've lost two hockey teams. That was the thing I was like, well, they've only got three. I'm like, oh, wait, they lost a team to Winnipeg. Yeah. Like Buffalo's not, I mean, Buffalo's had probably more brutal losses between cheating Brett Hall. Right. But you're right. You need at least three teams to be in that conversation of, like, you need to have the Cleveland setup. Football, yeah. Basketball, baseball. Because like if you're going to not have that as a minimum, then good luck trying to trump Jacksonville. Right. Yeah, I know. Like Tampa at least has the lightning. They've won something. Right. But it's just so funny to me how like so many people from Buffalo were like, no, we're the losers now. It's us.

Give us the credit. I'm like, you don't, you don't want this. You don't want people because the second you win, they're going to hate you. Cleveland was in a different, like outside of LeBron leaving for Miami, like they were in a different level of pain. Like you have Boston Red Sox, New York Jets kind of pain of having one once and then and then having. And I think Buffalo is in that category too where it's not only did you not win for many, many decades. So close. The way that you've lost is infinitely more painful than you just suck.

Like Cleveland sucks. Like Cleveland would just suck and then they'd be like, well, now we'll try this with the, who was that fat guy who used to coach with Belichick? Now who used to coach the Jets. Not Charlie Weiss. No, the other guy. Romeo Cornell? No, no, the white dude. Eric.

Oh, Eric Mangini. Yeah. Now we'll try it with Eric Mangini and then that sucks. Now we'll try it with this guy. And then that sucks. Like, you know, there's no like heartbreaking buckner moment. No, no butt fumble. Oh, they've had their stuff.

the Broncos come back and the AFC championship games? Did you watch the 30 for 30? But that's all we have with the Ernest Biner thing. Everything else is just disaster after disaster. Craig Yelo trying to cover MJ at the buzzer. Well, come on now. It's MJ.

I mean, I feel like Cleveland's in a different category of pain and disappointment. Like you think about the NHL, right? Like, the Leafs, how many? That's why that Gilmore Gretzky thing has become legendary is because that's one of the only moments that you look at and say, well,

Wow, they came so close. Other than that, it's like they've just been fucking terrible since 67. Well, they have the Blue Jays. They went back to back. It's every team. I just mean from the Leafs franchise. Oh, just the one sport? Because, like, in D.C., like, you have Washington that one.

They went back-to-back Super Bowls? They won a lot. They've won at least like three, I think. But like, in the Capitol's case, like, that's to me, like Redskins. That's, to me, like, Red Sox Jets level of pain. Like, you've invented new ways to fail. And the Nats have been doing that the last couple years, too, where they just lose in painful ways.

So it's, and every team that. that's kind of the new bad city, every city that's a new bad city. They kind of won something in like the early 90s. And part of me is just like, that's not that long ago. And then I think about it, I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to be dead soon. I'm so goddamn old. I mean, the devil's had that cup in 2003. Like, seriously, I'm like, the Braves haven't won anything.

And for, oh, my God, 1995 was 21 years ago. I'm going to feel really bad. Like, the time will feel bad about the devil's not having one for a while is when, like, someone getting their driver's license has no memory of a devil's cup. And it's Corey Schneider's kid. We're getting there. We're getting there soon. Oh, man.

But, you know, I think Buffalo is a special kind of pain. If Stamco's goes there and you add V-C and Stamco's to that team, and you got Lainer who I actually like probably better than you, and maybe you add a little bit in the blue line. They could be good real quick. Like, I think they can be a... I think there's, like, the East, like, I'm still not 100% on. Carolina. I can see because like Cam Ward is going to play 50 games again. Like I don't know.

That was the weirdest 24 hours where you were like, man, Ron Francis, patience pays off, saves the cap room, gets a great 21 year or 22 year old kid. And then at next day it's like two years, $6.6 million for maybe the worst starting goal with the past three years in the NHL. Like I, by the time you, everybody hears this, we'll probably, we might know where Stan Close is going. I have no idea. Maybe he goes to fly first. Maybe it's going to be like a Should we run through them all? No, remember the Brad Richard situation? where Brad Richards had was hold up in his

agent's office that one summer and like and then like it was like the three wise men going to see baby Jesus and bringing him like gifts and Brian Burke's like I'm going to sell you on on Toronto Brad and Brad's like yes please tell me here's a bucket of money

and Brad's like thank you for this bucket of money hey New York look at the bucket of money that Toronto just gave me can you give me the same bucket. Wink for yes. And then can you buy me out three years

later after I helped turn your terrible franchise around in the most ungrateful move in the history of sports franchises? Thank you. I don't want to predict where he's going because we'll look like assholes if he actually does not go there. So I'll say where I want. Buffalo for sure. It's happened. It's done. It's already happened.

It's done. Wait, now? Well, I mean, by the time I listened to it. Oh, shit. I thought you were looking at your computer and like during the show it happened. can't sign anywhere yet we can talk well i thought maybe they traded his rights it could be a thing that happens anyways i would i would love him to be in buffalo because obviously i want only the best for tim murray um who who by yeah what did he say today he's like he said i feel uh we have to use every tool in our disposal i feel um jack ickel will be a tool for us to recruit and if i don't use him then i will be the tool and and then he and then he threatened harvey dent

said, I'm just a dog chasing I'm just a dog chasing Stephen Stanco's. I wouldn't know what to do if I caught him. See, by the way, going back to this being the Puck Soup Awards after show, when we were coming up with stuff, my idea was to have him do all the Mike Babcock awards things. And he's like, oh, my Mike Babcock's the worst.

And I'm like, no, your Mike Babcock's the best because it's the one impression where I can't tie it to anything else right after you do it. It's the best one. It kind of lives on its own. It's not George Lucas and Kermit the Frog or Right. Opportunity. it's a big opportunity for the

good good like their compete level like they quit um so I would love for Stan Quos to go to Buffalo only because I hope the best for that franchise despite what Buffalo Sabres fans think they're all very still mad at me

because I had the nerve to say that they actually wanted Connor McDavid at some point they're like we wanted him we wanted either one I'm like sure that's why everybody showed up in those Eichel jerseys during training camp except no one did it's funny I'm not mad that we didn't get McDavid I think it's hilarious that we didn't get McDavid.

You're the one that's angry, not me. Right, exactly. Sure. But I actually really would like him to go to Detroit. Like, I like the idea of the Red Wings pivoting their franchise to something different. And Stamco's being the face of the Red Wings, I also kind of love the delicious level of irony that would be Stephen Stamcox going to Steve Eisenman's old stomping grounds and being the face of the franchise and being the face of the franchise. And not going to Babcock's new place and going to his whole place. Oh, God.

It's just being a fly on the wall when Stamco's like, you know, I just want to thank you. you for all the work. Oh, that's great. Where are you going? Oh, I'm going to, I accepted an offer from the Detroit Redway. Shut the fuck up, you places. Of all the places, Steve. And then in front of the camera, we just think it's great for him that he went there and we wish him all the best. It really frees up a lot of money to sign all our other guys. They didn't go to Detroit. Trade Ben Bishop to the Calgary. By the way, that's what's going to happen during the show is Ben Bishop will be traded between now and Thursday. For sure. Here's one thing that happened during the show that we should probably talk about.

I think is kind of interesting. What do you got? Mark Lazarus reports that Patrick Kane is staying and working out in Chicago this summer rather than going home to Buffalo. A source said that was at the team's request. God bless the Chicago Blackhawks. They're finally figuring it out. Here's another tweet that I'm just seeing from Steve Zippe of Newsday, New York Rangers writer, who I rarely see him do like rumors, but he says hearing the Blackhawks are seriously kicking the tires on Abgeny Malkin.

All right. Like, I assume that Evgeny Malkin is a truck that some of the Blackhawks have named and they're literally kicking tires on it because that would just be the most insane thing for the penguins to do. We've talked about Lazarus a lot on this. We should have brought them on. I don't know if it's necessarily insane. Let's say they actually do that.

Let's say they actually make that trade. How would they fit it? They would have to move a ton of salary to the penguins who also don't have any salary to take on. Yeah. It makes no sense. But again, I got this Malkin's salary spot is pretty big, so you'd have to match that. What do you say Malkin for Kane? Straight up.

They already have Kessel, though. Like, why would they need Kane? Yeah, well, apparently you're just not a patriotic American like Jim Rutherford is when he's going to make this deal. You know who would be involved in that trade would be Seabrook. That's the guy. Well, everyone keeps talking about that being a bad contract, but it's like if they didn't have him, they would have Keith Chalmersen and Trevor Van Riemstike. Like, it's such a bad contract. Like, that's the most necessary evil contract that I think exists in the NHL where it's like, oh, it's going to get to Gerardy-esque levels in a couple years.

but I don't know. But going back to the cane thing, it's a good thing he's staying in Chicago because you won't get into any trouble in Chicago, a major city with bars up at the 4 a.m. That's probably the best place to keep him if you want to make sure he has a quiet offseason. Now comes to a part of the show

where we're going to transition to talk about the NHL draft for a second. And because of the draft coming up, I've decided to do something on the show that people really love, which is unfold paper on mic, and also give my radio buddy Dave Lozo a bit of a quiz. A lot of people don't know much about the NHL draft. Admittedly, it's something that Canadians probably know more than us Americans do, being tied into junior hockey and all that.

So I decided to dip into the first round and the draft projections and play a little game with Dave Loso called NHL draft prospect Vine Star or Los Angeles Men's Ware Store. So I'll give you a name and you tell me which category this name falls into. What's the last one? NHL draft prospect Vine Star or Los Angeles Men's Ware store. Oh, boy. So I'll give you a name and you tell me which category it falls into, okay? Let's begin. Hayes Greer, NHL draft prospect, Vine Star, or Los Angeles Men's Ware Store.

Hayes Greer. Can I get a spelling of Greer, please? G-R-I-E-R. Mike Greer. What is his country of origin? I swear to God, I'm going to... Hayes-Grear is a draft prospect. Hayes Greer is a Vine Star.

He competed on the 21st season of dancing with the stars, which apparently has really lowered standards as to what constitutes a star. 21 seasons. Oh, is he just a dancer probably? He's probably not a star. No, he does goofy things on Vine. He's the younger son of another Greer. Oh, Rosie? Pam?

What other Griers? The four people old enough to get that reference are going to love it. Logan Stanley, NHL draft prospect, Vine Star, or Los Angeles menswear store. That's a draft prospect. That is indeed. Defensive for Windsor of the Ontario Hockey League,

he could go in the top 20s. So you're one for two. Okay, that's good. Riley Truffetti. That's a menswear store. Come on. Riley Trufti is, I'm probably butchering the name,

but that's okay. He's an NHL draft prospect, a left wing from Fargo of the USHL, expected to go anywhere between numbers 17 and 25 in the upcoming NHL entry draft. Huh. Cameron Dallas I've heard that before

I've heard those two words the other before am I thinking of the fifth element that's Corbin Dallas Corbin Dallas You are probably Cameron Dallas It's a multi-pass Camer Dallas

Yeah yeah yeah she sees it It's a multi-pass I'll say men's wearer store Because you haven't said that answer yet Cameron Dallas is of course a Vine star Currently has 7.55 million followers on Twitter On Twitter

By the way, speaking of Twitter, John Cena's on Twitter, and you wrestling people all follow people. And someone retweeted John Cena, and I clicked on his profile, and I laughed my balls off because in his bio, it says 15-time WWE World Champion, as if that's a real fucking thing. As if that's not a scripted thing that he was, that would be like David Schwimmer's profile saying paleontologists. That's insane. It's like Daniel Craig's profile being like defeated Spector. It's like J. J. Gyllenhauls, captured Zodiac. Like, John Cena, dude, it's not real. You know it's not real, right? You're in there. Sorry, I guess you're one for four. Andrew Christian.

God, see, I feel like I'm taking the SATs and I'm just circle on the same box because I feel like... Well, you already got 250 points just by signing your name, so don't worry about that. Andrew Christian. See, like, that sounds like a hockey player. So I think you want me to say hockey player. but I think it's got to be a store, right? I'm really in your head now. What do you say it is?

I'll say it's the menswear star. Yes, located in West Hollywood. It's a high-end underwear store with bedazzled boxers. Oh, my God. I've been in Los Angeles twice in like four years. Why have I not gone to this store? Two for five. We go to the next one.

Dante Fabro. I'll see. It sounds like Robbie Fabri, who's a hockey player. Fabro. Dante Fabro. Fine star. NHL draft. Offensive for Petitkenkenton of the British Columbia Hockey League.

USA Today has him at number 20 in the upcoming graph. Finally, Carlton Drew. Never trust the man with two last names. Carlton Drew. Carlton Drew. Like, he would be like the bad guy in like a sports movie who would like pick on the bench warmers. Carlton Drew. Carlton Drew.

Vine Star. Men's wear. Located in Beverly Grove, it's a boutique store with high-end swimwear. So I have to say that you, you, you know, you. did not do as well as I thought you would on Vine Star. No. I'm so NHL draft prospect, Vine Star or Los Angeles area menswear store. But like, if there's three things I don't know anything about, it's draft prospects dressing well and Vine Stars. Why would I get any of those right?

What's your favorite thing about the NHL draft? Do you have a favorite thing? Do you like it? I find it to be fun because it's a place where a lot, I feel like a lot of trades and stuff go down there, like significant trades go down at the NHL draft more than the only thing I like. anything else. Like, I don't think MLB is the same way. I think NFL, you see a lot of trades, but they usually involve jockeying for position to take certain guys. NBA has some pretty decent moves of their draft. But I feel like the NHL draft is almost like a bizarre you'd find somewhere in New Delhi. Like, you go there and you get some new things, you get some old things, and it's very exciting. It's just like, like Bob McKenzie on Twitter last night was doing a, or last night, two days ago by the time you hear this, he was doing a little Q&A about the draft, like only about prospects and stuff. And somebody asked him, like, how many guys do you feel like could come out of this draft and play in the NHL right away? And he basically said the top three and maybe a fourth guy.

Like, that's the thing I hated at the draft. Yeah. It's like, once you get to like the middle of the first round, and like, I've only covered the one in New Jersey. And I stayed there for all seven rounds, and I wanted to die by the end of the first round. It was just so boring. Like Seth Jones dropped and it was like, oh, Seth Jones, McKinand drew in that draft. And then the Corey Schneider trade happened at that draft.

So that was like the most interesting thing. And Anthony Brodor got taken with the last pick. I feel like there's a lot of fakery. Like if you're a college football fan, you probably know the guy going 25th. Yeah. If you're a college basketball fan, you probably know the guy going 25th.

If you're a hockey fan, you probably don't know the guy going 15th. No, honestly. You need to be told whether or not it's a good pick. Like, how many times have you and I seen Austin Matthews play hockey? Zero. Well, I, I, I, uh, streamed his games in Switzerland, sir. I'm a huge fan of Zurich. It's up to three in the morning watching Zurich play.

Like, that's what I mean is. All I know is that he bears a very striking resemblance. It's almost disturbingly so to Jeff Morrow, the sandwich king on the food network. I don't know what that is. He's on the kitchen. That can be the next quiz is Swedish hockey player food network star? I considered that. I consider food network personalities.

Like Austin Matthews looks like somebody, but I don't know. He looks like, you know how everyone's, as Aaron Neckblad looks like he's like 30 year old man. Austin Matthews has that look too, only without like the 5 o'clock shadow all the time. Like he looks like, I feel like he's going to be really good. I'm familiar with maybe like the first 10 picks. I mean, Matthews is going to be great. Linae is my favorite player in the draft, only because I think he's got kind of explosive upside.

You mean Patrick, me and Patrick Lane, as I've been calling him pretty much for a year? That's what I mean. Power V is going to be really good too. They're both two different types of players. Like Linae is more snipey-snipey-knit. Pirevi is more of a skatey skate. I know Matthew could chuck because he has an awesome. Twitter handle.

And also because he's the legacy. That's the other thing about the draft, too, is, you know, I get excited when we see legacies. Like, even, like, Jacob Chikrin, like, that's exciting for me to see. Or, like, Joel Quinnville's cousin or whatever got drafted by the devil's a couple years ago. And I'm like, the first time I ever felt old, like, real old was when Lannon Farraro got drafted by the Detroit Red Wings.

I'm like, Lennon Ferraro, Ferraro, Ray Ferraro was the son. Like, oh, my God. Like, please tell me he had him when he was 12. I'd feel terrible. Like hockey's like horse racing where like every horse is like, you know, like they name the horses after the horse that sired the view or whatever. So like if funny side has a kid, the horse is like dopey side or whatever. That's like hockey. Hockey.

Like every dude is related to some dude who like, um, who's the dude that had the, uh, boom boom, Jeffrons? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like some, um, like Jeffreon. Blake Jeffre. Some guys go back like three generations and it's just like, it feels like the like the most elitist sport ever. but it's like the most salt of the earth sport

at the same time. So you're saying that based on bloodline, you can tell who's gonna, because Brent Gretzky. Well, like, it doesn't stop people from drafting these people. That's the thing is like, man, like, oh, fucking Stefan Mattoe for the devils, no less.

They used a first round pick on a dude who scored the worst goal in devil's history against them because if his name was Stefan Jacques, he would have gone unfrigan drafted, but he was, I just, yeah, like I know that happens in all sports. Like, apparently LeBron James is 11-year-old kid

already. That's a standing scholarship offers from Duke and Kentucky. Why wouldn't he? Right. But like Michael Jordan's son sucked at basketball. They didn't go anywhere. They played in college. You know, it's always amazing to me because, like, I, you know, I'm not the biggest NBA

fan, so I only found out, like, last year that Steph Curry is Del Curry's son. I know. I didn't really know that either. And, like, Del Curry was always, like, a pretty shitty shooting guard for, like, the Hornets or whatever. And, like, you see Steph Curry, and he's like a mutant. Like, he just is, like, a mutant shooter. And you're like, how does that happen?

How does that, like, you know, is it the most, like, you know, it's the most, Dale Curry's wife is Storm, as you know. So, like, he's able to control the basketball. It's got to be that, right? It's got to be, like, when two beautiful people mate, and they make an even more beautiful child. It's got to be like, you know, you've met somebody who's got some basketball gene you didn't possess, and then your basketball DNA mixes with their basketball DNA, and

a beautiful Steph Curry is produced. I'm telling you, I always wonder this, too, because... We're basically making the argument for you, Gen X, by the way. I don't point that out right now. Hockey players are basically, like, horses. You know, that's all they are. But, like, okay, those draft interviews where they sit down with the kids, how many drafts, if I'm a scout? I've always wanted to ask us of a scout.

Like, okay, you see this kid, right? He's 16. He's dominate in the OHL. And his parents are at the game. And you see his dad. And if his dad's, like, a small, like, overweight dude who's, like, bald, are you going to be like, uh? Oh, so it's like when you're, when you meet her mother. Yeah.

And you, like, you like, 40 years from now. That's not so bad. Like, I bet you, I bet you scouts do that. They have to do that. Mom's keeping it together. Yeah. Like, oh, boy, Phil Kessel's dad, boy, he's, what's going on here? This has been a really good conversation about using genetics in order to produce public hockey teams.

We will produce as a strain of hockey supermen. Hail hydra is now the NHL's 32nd teams. That's right, exactly. Oh, I would give anything if I heard Gary Betman on Mike whispering Hail Hydra. Bill daily. Speaking of which, the Vegas thing should be settled by the time this comes out as well. Yeah. Super excited about that.

A lot of speculation about the team and everything. Is there anything in particular that gives you hope that Vegas will work or do you think it's a disaster way to happen? Like, as a franchise? I think anything can work anywhere if you do it right. But I don't know. It's just, like the population numbers tell me it can work. But, I mean, I don't know, like, if you just dropped, like, an NFL team into a city that's never had NFL there, like, I don't know, I don't know, the London games. I don't know.

Everybody would go to it. Anywhere in America, if you drop an NFL team in there, it would draw outside of Jacksonville. I was thinking, like, in a non-US, like, people always want to put, like, football overseas and stuff. Like, it's different, obviously, but it's one game a week. It's eight games a year. I don't know. I think it can work, but it's just like this whole – I feel like the NHL is going to spend the next. next year is selling this really bad idea that the team's going to be good right off the bat.

And I get it because you don't want to have a full year of a population being told how shitty your team's going to be when it first shows up because that's not going to be good for business. It's like when Arizona wanted to blow up the team. Right. And like Pierre LeBron was like, oh, they're blowing it up in the desert. And the next day is like, actually they're not blowing it up in the desert because they don't want to spend a month having everyone thinking about your team tanking. Per se. So it's like Vegas. Yeah.

I think if like people are willing to just commit to the long haul and like have a. slow build, like, they can be good. They can do well. My two thoughts about it right now are, I wonder what it's going to be like for fans trying to get to these games. There's no mass transit to the arena. It's on the strip. There's buses, no?

Thanks. How many times have you taken a bus here in this? Wait, you take a bus every day to this city. How dare you, sir, insult my bus travel to Port Authority, which is fantastic. And it's better than the train. 126 for Hobo Controls. I forgot your entire existence coming to do the stupid podcast is sitting there. to some idiot picking his toes on the bus.

First of all, my toes are itchy, and I need to get to him, and I need to clean them out, right? The bus is a good place to do. There's no train there, and parking is an issue. Like, parking is a thing where you're going to not, you know, what are you going to do a park at the Bellagio? There's lots.

They can build a parking structure and have a pain in the ass to get out of 41 nights a year. And the other thing, too, is that, like, how many of the locals actually want to go to the strip to watch a game? Someone said the other day, it's like, imagine if MSG was in the, middle of time square. Right?

Like, that's the thing. And, like, you've got to fight through a bunch of, a bunch of homeless people dressed like tinky winky. I know, right? You got some guy dressed as like Captain America trying to touch your kid. Like, back off, buddy. That horrible woman who is Hello Kitty, but always keeps her mask up.

So you can see it's a person inside. And it looks like, Hello Kitty is eaten a human. There's, I don't know that one at all. Yeah, let me just traumatize your kid on the way to the Rangers Islanders game tonight. Yeah. That would, like, I don't know how the locals see going to the strip to watch a game, to be honest. God, I remember writing about this like a year ago, but the, uh, the ECHL team, they drew like a decent amount for like ECHL. So, I don't know.

That'd be fine. Like, I just, nothing, everything the NHL ever touches turns to gold, so. Like, once they get the 500 million, they don't give. Good luck in the desert, idiots. Sucker. The NHLs, I'm telling you. Wouldn't it be amazing if the way that Bill Foley was going to get the 500 million is by putting. $250 million on black.

It's like Ocean's 13 where he has an whole entire tent set up. They're like, awarding the franchise. They're like, here you go. We checked your specs. Everything's cool. Welcome to the NHL, Bill Foley. Now, where's the $500 million?

Ah, funny you should ask. Funny story. And he just like drops $250 million in chips on black and says, Gary, watch this. We either got an NHL team or I'm living on the streets. Or welcome to the NHL Quebec. Let's find out. And then it comes up as double.

zero. It's like, all right, looks like we can't afford Dustin Brown's contract this season. Gary's like, what happened to the franchise fee? And Bill's like, well, as soon as this loan for $250 million more comes through, I'll get you your money back plus an extra $250. Let me ask you this. I've had this in my head forever. I feel like the NHL is just like one bad year, two bad years away from just being like the USFL where they're broke. No. Because Because, like, okay. The TV contracts themselves are going to sustain them. But, like, where's that money go?

Where would you say the NHL is taking the MLB, the BAM money? And now they're going to, they haven't gotten the 500 million yet. But so they're getting $100 million a year from Major League Baseball. And now they need a half a million dollars from a Vegas team. Where? Where do you see that money being put into besides pockets? I don't know. That's what I mean.

Like, I just feel like it's just like this Ponzi scheme where, like, the people up top are just collecting money. Well, they make a lot more hats than they used to at these events. I'm always seeing a lot more hats. So I assume it's a hat research and technology. It's just all the one that has a graffiti on it and stuff. Like, that's clearly where it's being invested. I know what you mean. And that's actually one of the things that I find really interesting about this league going forward and other things going forward is, is, you know, what are the revenue streams you've let you've, you've yet to tap?

And for the NHL, that's why I think the NHL is an interesting place because it's a, an international game. It's an international league. If you wanted to open up NHL Europe tomorrow, you could do it and make money hand over a fist. I don't know. You'd have to take over how many different viable league. China's another thing too. Like China's

a place where they want to go and they've always seen it as a potential place where they can make a lot of dough. Like that makes sense to me as like a business idea. Like this thing where they let Major League Baseball run their stuff is weird to me. It just very, very, doesn't make a lot of what sports leagues do that? It makes total sense to me as someone who works for a tech company

where we try to make sometimes our own versions of stuff that exists. It's not as good. And then we just buy the thing that exists. But like buying the thing that exists is one thing. But like you're Yahoo. I don't even know who Yahoo's competitors are. Like hotmail. Is hot mail a competitor of Yahoo?

I'm so much right now. And you're like, hot mail. We need $100 million to make our email better. And you're like, done. Like that's what it reads like to me. The NFL is never like, man. We type into Lycos. How do we make search better?

Hey, congratulations. Bing is now going to set up our, like, I don't, I don't, I don't, the whole, their business practices and like, where the, like, okay, so like they've redone the website, which, by the way, you spent how many minutes trying to find the schedule on today? The schedules came out for the NHL as we do the show today, and I literally couldn't find them on NHL.com. They sent, they sent a link that said, the new schedules are out. The new phone books are here. New schedules are out. And, uh, and I went to go find it, and I couldn't find it. I had to go to each

individual team. And then as I'm putting together the post for puck daddy with each individual schedule, the NHL then sends the attachment they forgot to send the first time of all of the schedules. Like, how bad do you have to be at life to not know how to launch a thing like that properly? It's just maddening. It's just what they do. And also, they were supposed to hire like a beat writer like the way MLB does for every single. They haven't done that. I don't know.

I just wonder where the money goes because it doesn't look like. It's like, imagine someone's like, Greg, your house, which has your housekeeper in it who drinks all your boots. We're going to give you a million dollars to fix up your house. They're like, thank you. I really, really love my new house. And then, like, I come by your house like six months later, and it still looks like shit, but your clothes are all really awesome.

And there's, like, 75 more bottles of vodka. I'm like, wait, Greg, are you using the money for the best possible thing? Leave me a little record revenues. What if? And this is just a big what if. What if the NHL is building a super weapon? What if they're building Star Killer Base right now? We don't even know it.

Well, if that's true, if they're like this secret evil organization. I know they'll fuck it up right now. The world you're saved from domination. The world is not going to have to worry about that missile land. Now's the time of the show in which we read some of your listener, Mal. You're very considerate to support the show. Leave a review on iTunes, by the way, if you do like the show. It always helps out with the rankings and such.

We begin today with our good friend Japers from Japers, from Japers, a gentleman who we very, very much enjoy being a fan of the podcast and being in life as well. And his question was about pizza. It's a stupid question, by the way. Of course you eat. I got to ask the question. Hold on. Why are you thinking this stupid question? Let's just start right off the bat. Well, you have to ask the questions so people know what we're talking about.

Okay. This question is, would you rather eat pizza every day forever or never eat pizza again, right? Like, why would I ever choose never eating pizza again? Pizza every day. I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would. So you're not saying, you're not saying five years into this as you're eating. And, but let's, let's put the specificity that Matt Warner wants on it, which is, is it open to all varieties of pizza because then it's not even all that difficult. And Japer says there's a lot of versatility here, but I'll close off that loophole.

I'll say it has to be one type of pizza every day for the rest of your life or no pizza at all. Done. Pizza every day. What topping would it be? I think if I was going to have pizza every day for the rest of my life, I would probably just go clean. I would just go cheese. Yeah? Yeah.

I would go meat lovers. Bacon, sausage, pepperoni all on it. You know what the grossest pizzas? You ever see that Cece's commercial where, like, the guy brings his kids? And you're just like, oh, my God, look at all this pizza. And they show it, like, from above. And it's, like, all different kinds of pizza. And I'm like, I don't want to eat that.

I love pizza. It's all you can eat pizza. Oh. Have you ever been to Miss Cece's pizza? I don't think so. It's like a crust that I would compare to maybe like a flaky pie crust, but it's not like deep dish. It's kind of gross. Like, they're all stuffed crusts, too.

It's not good. It's not good. But yeah, pizza every day over pizza, never again. I died. There's no way. I would get sick of it, but like it would be like taking a vitamin every day. My pizza vitamin. Slowly killing me. Did you watch OJ Made in America? I watched a lot of it. I thought it was pretty good. Was there anything that was the most surprising revelation from what you saw, empty dubs wants to know? I'll say, I'll say this about about it. I thought it did a really interesting job telling me more about OJ's place in the black community. Like, I didn't occur to me that, like, OJ was living the high life at USC while, like, Muhammad Ali and Jim Brown and all them were putting themselves out there as radicals. Oh, like that. Yeah, I didn't know about that. I like that. Because it definitely, I mean, it's one of the reasons why that 30 for 30 is so goddamn good is because it ties everything together in a way that it's not been tied together.

So when OJ then becomes the cause of the black community and they're go OJ go and they're backing him at the trial and everything, it's such in juxtaposition to what he used to be and what he had been throughout in his entire life. I feel like I knew most of that though just based on history and watching the frigging FX thing. The part, oh, you know the part that I thought really stuck out to me in terms of like surprising was like we all knew like Darden effed up and tried to get OJ to try on the gloves and we all thought like, oh, he's wearing. and latex gloves under that. Like, you know, the gloves aren't going to fit. It's got to fit to his skin. But the, the creepy agent dude, the bald guy who basically was like, he was like Satan incarnate during that thing.

What that was his name? But, like, he was talking about how even before that day, he kept telling OJ to stop taking his arthritis medicine so his hands would swell. And like, the way he tells a story, he's like, yeah, I told OJ, OJ, stop taking your arthritis medicine. And he's like, my hands are going to swell. And he's just like, yeah. And then he's like, the light went on for OJ.

Like, that part where, like, they were. They were thinking so far ahead that, like, if they try the gloves on, that it's going to help them not fit. There was also that part where Digdug came out and fired his pumper into OJ's hands and inflated his hands before the trial, too. That was pretty fun. Oh, and the fucking, the juror, Yolanda, whatever, who was like this condescending asshole, the whole entire frigging thing. And she was just like, I knew when Darnie came out. He got played. He was stupid and an idiot.

I'm like, lady, you voted OJ not guilty when he murdered two people. Like, are you seriously? throwing shade at somebody for being dumb in the courtroom? Like, are you, I'm serious? And there was like an older woman who was kind of just like more on the fence. Like, man, maybe I screwed up at the time. But Yolanda was just like, what a moron. Chris Darden.

Like, fuck, what? You serious? Samuel York writes in a question. I'm going to rephrase it, though, for our purposes. Vinnie La Caldeiier is retired. Is he a Hall of Famer? Can't wait for all the reasons Vinny shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame, Samuel says. And, you know, listen, he was.

he's a tough one because without question he was a premier a premier offensive player in this league for a really long time who then kind of fell off dramatically by the time he hit around 31 years old that's the issue like no denying 52 goals 40 goals from 2006 to 2008 good luck finding a better sniper in this world uh than vina calvalliier maybe o betchen was at that time too uh but but our After that, it became kind of a role player, it became a contract pariah. I don't know if I can say that Vinnie La Calvilliers would be a Hall of Famer, especially, you know, without a major award voted for him. He won the Richard and he won the King Clancy, but he didn't win any of the other major awards either. He's not a Hall of Famer.

94th all-time points. Not a Hall-Famber. Sixth in active goals, 76th overall in career goals. So 76, for those, I was like. to look at the context. 76th in career goals, 421 for his career, puts him in Owen Nolan, Stefan Ryshe, and Steve Thomas territory. So I would say probably not for the Hall of Fame, although, you know, it does put him near Pavel Burry as well, but Burry obviously was a transcendent player. Like from 2002 to 08, like it's hard to figure this out without seeing like comparables because

like 02, nobody was scoring goals, 07, everybody was. But like his 02 to 08 where he went 33, 32, 35, and then 52 and 40 is pretty good. But everything else is just, everything else is just like real good or good. He's not great. No, no Hall of Fame. No Hall of Fame for you, Vinnie. Finally, I like this question here from Jake Iby

because I feel like our brains are going to transition there pretty quickly after the draft is done. What's your go-to beach snack? You have a go-to beach snack, the thing that you like to eat at the beach? I'll say this right now. Ruby got me into going to the Rockaways and going to the Arepa's place in the Rockaways. You know what an Arepa is? So it's a little corn meal pocket.

And then you put meat inside of it and some cheese and some hot sauce and it's really, really tasty. But I wouldn't say it's my beach snack. It's like a special snack at the beach. My beach snack is beer. It's Miller Light. Now do you use a beer, cooom? like my dad does at the beach where it says like beach bum on it and you put your your bottle in there and it'll stand up on the sand better that way no no no beer yeah eating at the beach is weird just it's kind of it kind of is because of the sand and stuff eating outdoors is always kind of a tricky thing especially in the summer when there's like bugs everywhere also at the beach but the beach is also dicey because you're dealing with animals that want to take your fucking food like that's part of the problem too like kids or not necessarily kids i was thinking of More like death from above.

Did you ever own a damn Seagulls t-shirt, by the way? I totally did. No. What's that? You've never seen damn seagulls? Is that like damn Yankees? That's the t-shirt they used to sell the Jersey Shore. It would be like a t-shirt, and it would just have big block letters that said damn seagulls.

And then it would have white paint spilled all over the t-shirt, so it looks like seagull's shit on you. No, but I want one now. I definitely had one when I was a kid. Do you still make them? I don't know. Beach food food is dicey. I would say if I had a go-to beach snack, you know what would be? it would be your classic potato chip.

Maybe a nice little salt and vinegar deal. Like something a little bit puckery at the beach. I think if I'm at the beach, I want to just drink beer. Actually, whenever I'm outside in the summer, I pretty much just want to drink beer. Now, hold on, if you were lounging in a lounger and you were at the pool, a really beautiful pool where those beautiful, women and men more beautiful than you or I.

Wow. Would you be a beer guy or would you be a cocktail guy? Because I have to admit that in most situations when I am lounging, be on a beach somewhere nice or at a pool I'm probably a cocktail guy versus a beer guy but you and I are both thinking

in Jersey terms where you're at a giant horrible public beach with people playing their fucking boom boxes without any headphones and everybody smells

and there's back hair like we're both thinking of the same That's the power to turn back time smug looking to the camera somebody kicking sand on me as they listen to the Phillies game you know why because Philly doesn't have a beach because you'd have to go sit

a river instead you have to come to south jersey it's like tailgating only with sand oh it really is all it is now i mean more of a refined experience let's say you're at a pool at a really nice resort cocktail it's a good question i feel like i've done both but if i had to pick one i think i'd go margarita i think i'd waste away in margaritaville in margaritaville searching for my sunblock because i fucking burn man that's right i always look i look for my lost shaker of salt even as i burn because i like the season myself in the hopes that, you know, a monster will eat me. Anyways, that's a puck soup for this week. Thanks to nobody.

We had no guest. It was a free skate. We haven't had one in a while. Thanks to Chris. Thanks to Chris for coming in and being the announcer on the NHL of Puck Soup, the first annual Puck Soup, 2016 NHL Awards. Although I can't imagine you'd have an annual 2016 awards. Although maybe that'll be the tradition.

Every year we do this will just be the 2016 awards. 2016 over and over again. Get it right the next time. Coming up next week and in the coming weeks, we're definitely going to have to talk about free agency. We have an idea that we want to do, and maybe we'll do it in maybe we want. I don't know.

If you thought the beginning of the show was repellent, the idea that we have is even more repellent than that, if that's possible. Yeah, we've got to figure out summer. Yeah, we've got to figure out summer and guests and such. Like July. When to slide in the Margarabi interview that we're inevitably going to do. Oh, Margot.

Again, anybody out there is Margo? Robby, you know, contact info. Yeah, I'm, I've used all my avenues, which is publicist, friend, and annoying her on Twitter, which I feel like she doesn't check Twitter, so it's not going to work. I'm Greg Wyshki of Yahoo Sports. Oh, we're doing that? Oh, and also, the Merrick versus Ritchinsky podcast. The blog is Puck Daddy.

Buy my book for summer reading. It's take your eye off the puck, available at Amazon and wherever books are sold. I'm at Wyshinsky on Twitter, and please do check out iTunes and leave a positive review. you for the show if in fact you find this to be a positive experience and either way thanks for listening you've taken the time to download this nonsense or stream this nonsense and we always value that but dave lozo please uh do your your duty and take us home sir so at the end of the first independence day movie you might have to go sit down again i mean you might because this has been bugging me since we talked about the sequel last week so at the end of the first movie there's the there's so

there's the mother ship in space right and then there's all the other ships that come down to earth and blow up all the landmarks and we have to the first movie and we have to the one that's over area 51, the one that Randy Quaid suicide bombs because he's out of missiles or his missiles jammed or whatever. So he flies up into the ship's laser beam as it's firing on Area 51, blows up the ship. This is after people die, they're out of missiles, they're running out of planes, right? You forgot the most important part of the whole thing. When he says, in the words my generation up yours. I hate that movie. It's so bad. Why did they make a sequel? So, so, okay, so it's what, so it took, like they lowered the shields,

by doing the virus thing. Makes the ship, you know, vulnerable to attack. But the only way to blow it up is to blow it up as the lasers firing. And you, I'm assuming you can use a missile too, as opposed to just flying your plane into it. That's how they took the ship down. And when they take that ship down, Robert Lozier goes, everybody, get on your telegraphs and let the world know how to take down these sons of bitches. And I'm sitting there and I'm watching that movie. And I'm like, what do you mean?

Tell them what? Like when they get these instructions, look, what you need to do is make sure one of your missiles jams. They needed to find a drunk redneck who was once adopted by aliens to fly up into a laser. Boom, up there and blow up the ship. So, okay, so, hey, Colonel Loja, this is Colonel Lozo over here in Los Angeles. We have a ship, so you're telling me that we need to actually have the ship hover over an important target with millions of people. They love landmarks. Open up the laser firing cannon.

Yep. And then as that is. Right underneath, right where the how do you do should be. Okay, okay. And then don't fire until the missile, the laser. was already firing, and then, okay, and you also realize that we've been devastated by the original attack, and we don't have many pilots or planes or missiles left at this point, and there's probably like a dozen of these things.

How about a hang glider or something, anything that can fly? I don't understand how we won the battle anyway. Like, there's things were so impossible to take down. Even if you have the plan. Okay, so the first plan took a lot of like, you know, trial and error, and it's like, oh, tell those sons of bitches to fly Randy Quaid's drunk ass up into the thing. First things first. Do you have a... a view screen that totally bites off the original Star Wars and shows the big circle of the ship getting closer and closer to military base,

much like the Death Star cleared the moon of Yavin. Actually, no, we don't, because in the original attack that destroyed DC, we actually lost a lot of pilots and a lot of people that could actually fly planes and do combat. They show the scene around the world where there's like four French dudes in a tent

and they're like, oh, we have no planes. They're all smoking cigarettes. They're all like, I do not know how to do. take down this ship. Wait, holy fuck on. You want me to fly my plane into the laser? What are you crazy? Like, there's no way we won that war. There's, there's no unless they were just like, ah, fuck it, let's go home. Yeah, you need to, you need someone in every location around the world where there's a ship to want to sacrifice their life and a plane. Right. Because think about it, like, they're probably like the first time you're like,

all right, we're not going to fly Jacques, you know, we're not going to tape them to the steering wheel and make him fly into the laser. Let's just fire a missile into it. What if the missile doesn't work? What if you do need the missile plane and human being to sacrifice? to kill everybody. And I guess we're assuming that the virus they uploaded not only bought down the shields, but like killed any communication possibilities between ships. They're not, they're like, yeah.

Yeah, you might want to scramble the fighters around that giant anus on everybody's ship because they keep flying planes up them and destroying the ships. It's a real hassle. And also, not for nothing, we also dropped a nuclear weapon on our country halfway through that movie. Negative. My son's grown a third off because of this. I thought your initial point was how was Randy Quaid not destroyed by the laser, but the laser he flies into is the...

It's the pre-laser. It's the pre-lacer. It's the premature laser. You know that the pre-lator, when you see the pre-laser, that's when you know the rest of the lasers is going to shoot out. Right. And shoot down. The rest of the laser is going to come because the pre-laser is there. There's no way we won that war.

But that's why he wasn't... destroyed. The actual laser hadn't fired yet. That's like the targeting laser. Right. So it's like, all right, so imagine a Star Wars. You have to hit the hole the size of a womperat. But you can only hit it and but like the hole opens and closes really quickly. I don't know if the hole was a size of a womperat. He used to zero

womperats back on Tatooine. That's why he was a good pilot. But I don't think the hole itself was a size of a wamp rat. There's just no way. Like it's the hole but like there's like a, it's like a mini golf course, but there's like a windmill in front of the hole where you have to time it right every single time. We have to do it 20 times to take down all the dead stars.

It's insane. I could, I could assume, I could just assume that, that, you know, for the rest of the world, they were, they weren't a bunch of assholes

and didn't use all their missiles on things that had shields. Like, maybe, maybe that, because that's why you had to fly that damn plane up the, up the, up the,

of the ship is because everybody was shooting their missiles at things that couldn't be destroyed at that point. Shoot 62 more of them. Red six, fucks one. Red anus,

Quade two. But, you know, apparently everything worked out. We destroyed all the ships. So if Independence Day 2 wants to sponsor this podcast while it's in the second week of release, I mean, we've done a lot of free promotion. I can't wait. I cannot wait for that movie. It's going to be so bad. It's going to be so great.

It's going to be so great. It's something, too, someone on Twitter pointed this out, the dude from Star Trek, who's the long-haired scientist dude. Yeah, Brent Spiner. He's in it again. Yeah, Professor Oaken. He didn't die in the first one. I could have died. I assumed he died.

The alien was manipulating his voice box with its tentacle, but he wasn't killed. I assume he was dead when he was doing that. Well, he's back. That's obscene. And thank God, because how can you do an Independence Day sequel without the incredible necessity of Dr. Okin returning? But until I put that together, I didn't, because like, there's a scene in the commercial where Bill Pullman is getting the neck thing done to him. And I'm like, oh, I guess Bill Pullman dies in the movie. But then, like, they show Brett Spiner.

And I'm like. And Bill Pullman, I think they show Bill Pullman in like a jet later, too. Spoiler on the commercial. So he actually goes back. I'm assuming Bill Pullman dies during this movie. He has to have the heroic Bill Pullman. It's amazing how they got all these guys back. Because Bill Pullman, Judd Hirsch.

Did you ever hear the Opie Anthony and Patrice O'Neill bit about how unbelievably like racist and like Jewish stereotyping it was for the first movie? Oh, Independence Day? Yeah. It's so funny. Oh, yeah. Because that's where they got the whole bit about, you know, you all would be dead with What was it for my David?

Yes. Yeah. It's fantastic. Like Judd Hirsch is like the most stereotypical old. But that's why Independence Day is so great is because it trades in extraordinarily broad stereotypes. It rips off every single other sci-fi movie. To me, the way I've always said this about Independence Day, the original one, is it reminds me of great, like, hip-hop, where it's just a bunch of cliches about guns and women and they just steal from better music and then mash it all together to make. a new sound.

Like, that's all Independence Day is. It's great hip-hop. It looks so bad. There's no way it can be worse. Oh, hell no. And, like, Vivek-Gay Fox plays a stripper. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like every bun in the movie.

That's right. Everyone in the movie is the worst possible stereotype. There's a giant fireball in the tunnel and the dog escapes the fireball because that's what dogs do in action movies. And also apparently that door that was broken open is now going to seal out flames. I forget. I'm going to walk into the Independence Day, too. I'm going to walk right in.

I'm going to turn to whoever's next to me because I know I'll be alone. and turn to whoever who's next to me and haul up my cigar and say this is our victory dance but not until the fat lady sings I ain't heard no fat lady

but seriously go on YouTube and search Opie Anthony Patriesone the fat the fat lady um yeah the fat lady what are we doing

the fat lady is not singing see the question the thing is going to happen though is like obviously it's just going to be a remake of the first film just like every other like you know Force Awakens

but like what is it how are they going to top the uploading an internet a virus a virus A mother ship Scene What's it gonna be

What are they gonna do? They're gonna disconnect their DSL I hope like Will Smith Does come back They're just keeping it secret No he died Like that's he didn't come back He killed him off off screen

No but like instead of dying Like the aliens actually like took him and studied him And now they're gonna come back as like Will Smith fighter pilot guys and they're gonna destroy I hope the aliens win Fuck fuck fuck Jeff Colenblum actually I like Jeff Cole I am I'm super excited for it

so to answer your question every every army around the planet had their drunkest pilot fly up the anus of every mother ship they were out of planes and destroy it

makes no sense so there's another movie too I was thinking of at the same time that has an ending like that where you're just like but I don't think we won though like we won that bow what the hell was it there was another movie

it was just gonna drive me insane where they got to the end And then it was just like, it wasn't like Superman where like an entire city of millions of people were killed. I remember Deep Impact was like that. Or one of those movies was like that were like the entire world has been smashed and destroyed and like. Yeah. But like now we're going to rebuild it. I'm going to think of this once we get done. All right.

Well, there you go. That's all you needed to know about Independence Day. That's it. You were, you were totally wrong about everything. That's how that it completely makes all the logic in the world that, um. Get on your phones. Yeah. That's right.

Call France. Does anybody speak French here? That's right. That's the best. It is the best. Tell them we got it. Tell them what to do. Tell them how to take these bastards out.

Hey, here's what you do. You got to fly your, hello? Hello? Oh, man, the call dropped. Can we get him back on the phone? David, David. What happens when it goes down to zero? Oh, yeah.

And there's Harvey Firestein. Checkmate. Oh, yeah. You forgot the best one. I got to call my mother. I got to call my dad. It's so offensive. Oh, my God.

I don't want to do the whole Ophi Anthony, but... But luckily, like, Roland Emrick and Eden Neville and, you know, toned down the racism for their next film, Godzilla, which has an entire scene of Japanese tourists in the back of a taxi cab saying that they want to go... We want to go shopping! Oh, my God. By the way, the most offensive thing that those two people have ever done as filmmakers

was in that Godzilla remake when they were so pissed off at Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel for giving terrible reviews, Independence Day, and Stargate, that they named the mayor of New York Mayor Ebert. No. And they named his assistant Gene. And I think, and they, and Ebert, God bless him, always said he was so offended by it because they didn't have them crushed by Godzilla. Like the least you could do is have us crushed by Godzilla. Yeah, there you go.

All right, anything else you want to say? No, let's go. Let's cut this off. everybody, you know, do the usual thing. Be lit and stay loyal and thanks for listening. Bye. Now leaving nerdist.com.