Puck Soup - Best NHL Trade Deadline Ever

Episode Date: March 2, 2017

Greg and Dave and special guest Sean Leahy of Puck Daddy talk about the blockbuster trades of what was, without question, the most entertaining trade deadline in history. (And by "entertaining" we mean excruciating.) We analyze every trade, while also discussing alligator attacks, aliens, foods we hate, Leicester City, Neapolitan ice cream and Dave's zipper problems.

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It's your weekly bowl of hoggy and nonsense. I'm Greg Wyshinsky with Yahoo Sports Puck Daddy Blog, and I'm Dave Lozo, some of the stuff too. And I'm Sean Leahy, also of Yahoo Sports Puck Daddy Blog. And you're in the show where the guest doesn't know when he's introduced. Boy. Oh, God damn it. You're in Puck Soup. Just fucking jump right in.

Sean Leahy's here. Now, for the fans of Puck Soup who might not know Leahy, he's... Well, they could tell about the voice he just spoke with him from microphone. They've already matched it up. I was about to say that. He is, of course, an editor on Puck Daddy, and you've discovered from the show that my Sean Leahy impression is also my Donald Trump impression. And I've been told, although I don't agree with this opinion, that neither of them sound like Sean Leahy. They're quite terrible.

We even had one fan in our Facebook live video today say they don't match up, and I would agree. They don't match up, and I would agree. No, no, yeah, I can see it. I can hear it. Ready? Here we go. Just so everybody can tell, okay? Donald Trump.

Wait, I'm going to close my eyes. Okay. I'll see if I can figure out of this talking about. Donald Trump. The NHL trade deadline, nothing happened. Sad. Sean Leahy. The NHL trade deadline happened and nothing happened.

Sad. The NHL trade deadline happened. Nothing happened. Sad. Now, which one was the actual Sean Leahy? Okay, the first two were definitely Sean. The third one was just some guy that came in the room that I didn't see before I closed my eyes. Correct.

That's right. It was the president of him. Thanks, thanks Kevin. Thanks for coming in. So you guys sat around all day in this office here in Yahoo and just and just plug the way while I spent most of my day either in my apartment in my underwear eating cereal or at the gym and relaxing. And I feel great right now. I feel I feel so good for this podcast. I have so much energy. I'm so ready to talk about stuff. How do you guys? The thing that usually happens on the trade deadline for the NHL is that here's what usually happens. All the good shit happens about 72 hours before. the actual trade deadline. And that was par for the course this year. We had the Kevin Shattonkirk trade. We had the Martin Hansel trade. We had some actual people you've heard of get traded.

And that's it. And that's where it stops, by the way. But also Ben Bishop, also, also, Alexborough. There were names that you knew that that got traded before Wednesday, March 1st. Then what usually happens is that on Wednesday, March 1st, the first, like, from 7 o'clock when you wake up until about 1 o'clock, nothing happens. It's just James Duthy vamping for fucking five hours. It's SportsNet and TSN unloading what I would call

let's cut to the blogger time. No, no, it's always work. We're going to go live out to Winnipeg where there's a guy standing in an empty rink who's going to talk about what Winnipeg needs. Let's throw it out there to Bob. What's going on with Winnipeg? Well, you know, it's amazing. Drew Stafford left the ice at practice today.

And then 10 minutes later, well, it turns out it was a skate issue. It turns out his wife is in trouble. trouble and he needed to leave because she's her health. I'm sorry for screaming so excitedly before about her leaving practice, but I didn't know. I was just standing here, but it turns, she's okay. Yeah, but, but already all the insiders are like, Cruz Stafford on the block E4. Wait, was that late? That was Ecclund. So, so usually there's a, there's a big uptick in trade action and, and names moving and whatever, and it didn't happen this year. How would you describe your day between?

9 o'clock and 1 p.m. this afternoon today. Well, I mean, our day was busy because we did a couple of Facebook Live hits. About what? A couple Red Bulls. What did you guys talk about on Facebook Live? Well, the first Facebook Live was about... What time was it? Thomas Vennick.

Was he traded by then Thomas Vanek? No. The first Facebook Live chat, I would say, was more informative. Flurry. Steve Ott does a lot of things that you just don't see. Here are some names you may want to watch. And then the second one was definitely like... Vanek trade

What way to have with Jerome McGinlow This day is, me and Shaw Me and Down Goes Brown spent the entire morning and afternoon emailing back and forth about the trade deadline We basically did like our private email show Which sounds like porn when I say it out loud like that It was a private shower between me and me and Shaw And like literally by like one o'clock

I was like hey I heard Jerome McGinlam might go to L.A. Twitter said that and then like an hour later He actually got traded and it was just like wow is awesome. And apparently he got traded for possibly nothing, too. Yeah, that tech doesn't turn out with the conditions. Like, he literally might have given away Jerome McGillet for $2.6 million. That's the third biggest deal of the day.

The weird thing is that I feel like, I feel like as hockey fans, we've been conditioned to understand that the trade deadline is bullshit now. Like, nothing actually happens today. It's a chance to be entertained by whatever TSN and Sportsnet throw at us. I didn't see a lot on Twitter today, day, of people being like, uh, cobwebs, uh, boy. Swoaring, snooze, sleepy emoji. Like, I feel like as hockey fans, we're all like, all the interesting shit happened, and if anything happens today, it's fucking gravy.

Well, even a week out, if you're looking at, like, TSN's trade bait list, there weren't a lot of appealing names on there. The third highest guy was Eves. Yeah, I mean, and Landiscag and Dushin were maybe 50-50 to be traded to begin with. There was nothing that was definitely going to happen today that we could expect, so.

To Yonik Hansen, I mean, to get Yonik Hansen for a cup run. Why Nothing Happened a three-part theory by Greg Wischinski. The first is that... I drank too much and I just wasn't in the mood and I was stressed. Two. I just did something in the morning that prevented me from being able to go again in the afternoon. Three, she put on a John Mayer album.

And I just couldn't... Nothing was going to happen. We've all been there. Okay. The first is obviously that the X factor this year is the expansion draft. I think we all expect there to be a lot of... of player movement around the expansion draft as teams jockey for a position they make deals with Vegas under the table shit trying not to get the guys picked so that's that was an influence on today

but what is that but wouldn't that wouldn't that influence make there be more trades today no it want to get out in front of that but no one wants to they all want to hold on to their cards as long as they can in order to make a run and and nobody wants to get out of front of stuff like the other thing too is that like the types of players that should have moved today I think are players that teams didn't need. Like, for example, like, goalies. I mean, like, in theory, there should be more than one goalie

that moves at the trade deadline. It's fucking insane that Bishop's the only guy that moved. But, like, remember when Ryan Miller was a free agent three years ago? He had one spot to go to, and that was it. Like, teams just have their goalies and below them. But that's my point, is that, like,

the teams that actually need goaltenders aren't going to make those moves until June, and that's an influence, too, of, like, we're not going to give up any ass that's for anything because we want to hold on to him because we need this to fill this need in June. The third thing is, and this was something we were talking about before the show, there are no blockbuster trades anymore at the trade deadline.

You can count on one hand the number of blockbuster trades that have happened in the last five years. And I think part of the reason is because they're cowards. But I think because of the 2012 lockout and the ability of teams to now share percentages of cap hits and share, you know, percentages of salaries and things like that, I think teams find it easier to grab expiring contracts at the trade deadline, where in the past they would have had to move their own salary to take salary on. So now you don't have to move out a guy making money. You can just take on a guy and have the Philadelphia Flyers pay, I call him the Flyers. The Philadelphia Flyers pay 4.7 percent of a salary, which was the case in the Marks Straight trade with the Lightning. Yeah, like if you can get someone to take Valteri Philpola now, you can get someone to take Matt Dushain now.

No? Who was the one saying that apparently his trade market wasn't as high because he only has one goal in his last 15 years? No, an angel source management source to later and data of that, yeah. Because he had one goal in his last 18 games because now Matt DeShane sucks. Yeah, because he's shit in his pants about the trade deadline. The minute it passes, he's going to be great again. But like, you know that dude in your fantasy baseball league where you're like, hey, you want to trade Mike Trout? No. Well, he's won for his last 21.

He's not good anymore. No. Or you go in fantasy hockey, you go to the who's not list on Yahoo. And it's like, oh, well, it looks like 5,000 people have dropped this guy who hasn't had a goal in a week. Crosby has no points in three games. I can't do that trade with you. I don't want Crosby. He's probably done.

No, I mean, my theory holds. You're asking why they don't do a Matthew Shane trade. Well, they don't do a Mast Dushan trade because the prices are ridiculously high. Are they? They are. They're high as shit for that guy. We talked about this, didn't we, about the offer that was flip? voted out there about Matt for Matthew Shane and people were like that was too high but it wasn't.

It was like a first round pick like one pro like one like like a like a Sanford kind of a player and like in some other, the the rumored offer that was super high wasn't super high. I don't remember what it was though. It's a significant trade with a significant commitment in salary. Cowards. Or whatever. You're all cowards. Listen, you say what you want.

The bottom line is that nobody moved today or in the last 72 hours that has more than an additional year on their contract left. What percentage of general managers can count the two? Can actually process something in 2018-19- General managers, I believe, can count it two. I believe that... Lou Lamarillo can count it two. Era one.

Era two. Era. Well, I say we get Eric Fan here to help out the depth of our forwards. I believe Brad Trillivin can count it to, because I think his father, you know, is the founder of Bob. Austin pizza, so I think he probably has a business acumen. I feel like he should be able to count past two because he only counted the two when he was counting up the rounds of the draft he was willing to go to get Curtis Lazard today.

You know who I don't think can count past two? Mark Bergevin, because he counts up to do. And that's all the time we have today. Thanks to Sean Leahy for stopping by. What we're going to do today is unprecedented in the history of Puck Soup, because honestly, I don't remember what we did last year for the trade deadline. think we might have done this last year. We might, I don't think we're on nerds last year for the trade-ed line, were we?

Not nerd. Oh, technically right. Yeah. Puck soup history. See, we're like the thrashers slash jets. We relocated from another area and now we're forgetting our history. We need to have hardcore negotiations with Jeff Merrick to get the legacy of Puck-Soup released from Merrick v. Vosynski, so we can claim it for our own. Now, we are going to take you through every trade.

Oh, God. That's right. No. And we're not leaving this fucking room until we get through every trade that happened in the last couple days. How long have we been recording for, like 15? minutes at this point. At least about 12 minutes is what people's recording devices or playing devices

say right now. All right, we will take this up to the hour and 12 minute mark right now. We'll just go hard. We'll go hard through all of them. Like, really thorough. The Pittsburgh Penguins acquire Ron Hainesi for Danny Cristo and a 2017 second round pick from the Carolina Hurricanes. Sean Leahy. Sean Leahy, you're a Penguins fan.

Good for the Cains. They're stocking up on those draft picks. Good for Ron Hainesie because now he finally gets to play in the playoff. so the first time with almost 900 games. He's going to slot in on that third pairing for now. Slot right in. But then now they added Mark straight, and once Olimata get healthy and Trevor Daly.

Yeah. One at a fucking time. We're not doing the penguins completely. We're doing one trade at a time. I'm trying to bang him out a little more, you know, two or one time so we could speed this up. Of course, you know, he was a ghost at the end. What I got away with it was, if you meddling kids in that damn dog.

I'm a real big fan of this trade for Carolina because they acquired Danny Christo, who sounds a lot like Kit Fisto, the Jedi with the big eyes from Phantom Menace and the Attack of the Clones. Turns out she was buried under the Louvre whole time. I saw him playing the USHL, like seven years ago. Who, Kit Fistow? Kenny Chris? Like seven years ago. He scored a goal.

That's all I got. This trade is what I would define as fine. Yeah, it's fine. It's good. They need a defenseman. They're in the running still to kind of catch the caps, but not really. The Anaheim Ducks, uh, feeling that they need to close the beard deficit with the San Jose Sharks acquire Patrick Eves for a 2017 conditional second round pick from the Dallas Stars.

That's our first round that they go to the conference finals. Yeah, they go to the conference final, which they won't. But I like it because he's a guy who played up with Ben and Sagan a little bit. He can play with your quality players. And the bottom line for the Ducks is that they ain't going to be thinking about no championship if they can't get Cory Perry to score more goals. And they're looking for this guy to be the next Patrick Maroon. I like it for the stars because they're selling very, very high in Patrick Eves, because who saw him scoring 20 goals this year?

Yeah, he was a waiver guy, like, really. Like, he's just like, he's Patrick Eves. If he's worth the first round pick, it's probably not because Patrick Eves played super well in the first 14 games of the postseason, too. So I feel like the Ducks made a bad trade. Patrick Eves, right, he played with Sagan and Ben. Sagan and Ben are better than Getsloff and Perry, he gets off and Rick. Whatever two ducks forward do you want to put in there. Is it possible that Bob Murray,

thought he was trading for Patrick Sharp and then just like this guy showed up and he's like, who are you? And he's like, I'm Patrick. And he's just like, oh, all right. There was like a list of players in front of him for the trade register and he just clicked the wrong box.

It's like easing sharp or like right on top of each other. And that's exactly how I end up at Nork Penn Station instead of New York Penn Station. Oh, switch at Seacoccus instead of Nork. Yeah, they have the switch at Secaucus. I know, it's right there. Thomas Yercoe, YouTube Sensation, traded to the Blackhawks from the Red Wings for a 2017 third-round pick.

Now, I think this is an interesting reclamation project for the Blackhawks. I mean, I think this guy's got some talent. But I also think that the Red Wings and Kenny Holland, which is a theme that we'll revisit throughout this next five hours as we do the podcast, should be applauded for pulling a third-round pick for a guy who's basically a bust at this point. Yeah, he's selling off. They're not going to make the playoffs. That streak's going to end.

So recoup some assets and retool for next year. You have little faith on that streak, by the way. I mean, they're right in the thick of it. Aren't there like nine points out? Yeah, I mean, they're not eliminated. Good for both teams. I feel like Yerko will be good in Chicago. Like, he was good.

Like, these guys that just suddenly stopped being good, they're not bad. Like, Matthew Shane has one goal in 21 games. He's not bad. He's terrible. I would drop him from my fantasy team. I could see, like, I could see in the playoffs. I could see Thomas Yurko having more points than Patrick Eves for much.

Are you so? Oh, wow. That's a hell of a... I mean, like, I don't think your guy's going to be up. But I'll wager right now. What do you want to bet? Um... Now, this is...

I'm not going to wait to you, because I just realize what you're doing. Because the ducks could get knocked out in the first round. The Black Oaks could go to the cup. And so just by virtue of being... Why can't the ducks go far? The ducks are going to play, like, Calgary or somebody in the first round. And then they're going to get, like...

I mean, yeah, they got to beat San Jose to get to the conference finals. Just by virtue of being in the playoffs longer, you probably win that bet. Fuck that bet. Wait, Chicago is... Chicago's going to finish second. They're probably going to play Nashville. Nashville can beat them in the first round. Could, but maybe won't.

All those... Only if they find... a way to keep all those Blackhawks fans out of Smashville. That's the only way they can win. Identifying their zip codes, making sure they don't purchase tickets. I've never seen someone talk themselves out of a bet they were so confident in seven seconds

earlier. He extended his hand across the table. Do it! You know what, actually, hold on. Yeah, I actually had my hand extended. You've also never seen me play craps. Snake eyes, no, wait. Oh, I came up, Snake Eyes. I dropped it right in front of me. I didn't get the roll. It doesn't count.

30 to one. This is a blockbuster. The Los Angeles Kings acquired Ben Bishop a 2017 fifth round pick for Peter Boudai, Eric Cernack, a 2017 seventh round pick and 2017 conditional pick. We were talking before the show. Apparently you heard that one of the reasons why they did this

is because they didn't believe that Peter Boudai could continue to play well because he has never played this many games and he is gassed. Yeah, but at the same time, though, he's going to be a backup again with a quickback. So it's like you can throw him in there five more times down the stretch. Peter Boudai in the five games he would play down the stretch

compared to Ben Bishop, well probably more than that because he's Ben Bishop, it's not worth it. If you're going to use up the little tiny cap space you have, you need Jerome McGinley, you need Redeemer Body, you need guys that could score. Yeah, that's the thing.

And they're not paying for that. The Kings are very much, spoiler alert, like Montreal, I think, on this deadline, which is that the biggest need they have is goals, and they didn't address it. And they always have. They went out. That's a problem.

Columbus was like, guys, you can stop calling us. We're actually in the playoffs this year. The biggest problem is that nobody in the Flyers locker room had a substance abuse. Braden Shenn is totally healthy. We're not going to give him to you for nothing. Nobody was on the dry island this year, so the Kings couldn't make a trade. Dean, this is Ron Hextall. I've worked with you.

I know how this goes. Leave me alone. I'm having dinner with my family. I'm not going to give you Voracek. Eric Sernak, junior defenseman, goes to Tampa. This is one of those deals that could easily look like, pretty damn foolish if this kid defenseman turns out to be something and uh i don't know man like i i get the thought behind it i just don't understand it and i also in the grand scheme

don't understand how to hell no one else could offer this package up for ben bishop like i don't know eisenman said this was his only option yeah that was one of the craziest things about the deadline was that izerman said this is his only dance partner tampa wins that tree by default yeah and and budai if they resign him a nice little fallback of Vaselowski's struggles going forward. And, and, end, and, I don't necessarily think Tampa is totally out of the playoffs. I would agree. They could squeak in the east.

Sure. They get Stamcoast back. They roll off a 12, 2 and 1 thing down the stretch. What happens if Bishop, like, at the end of the day, he's got, like, a 305 goals against and, like, a 909 save percentage? Like, what was this trade even then? That's the thing, too, is Dallas tried doing this with two number ones over the course of seasons, and it doesn't work.

Like guys that are used to play in 55, 60 games, they don't adjust. It's a penguin. So good, Mark Andreo Flurry. He hasn't been great this year at all. Guys, it would be a totally different situation if they didn't have a goalie that, like, if they had a goalie that was, you know, signed through 2022. I mean, it'd be totally different. Oh, wait, shit. Like, fuck.

That's 10 more years of our goalie being as average as most other goalies. That's a good tweet. I love that tweet. Yeah, that's a great tweet. Good tweet. The Minnesota Wild, another blockbuster. And please, keep your ears peeled for this part. this show because we're going to get into the weeds in about

10 or 10 15 minutes. Martin Hansel, Ryan White, and a fourth round pick this year for a first round pick, a second round pick, conditional fourth round pick in 2019, for God's sakes. That's like three Avengers movies away and a guy named Grayson Downing, who I believe is on the CW, the Arizona Coyotes

trade this package, traded Handel and White to the Minnesota Wild. I mean, listen, I understand the praise on this deal. The Wild needed another center to deal with the teams in the Western Conference. I like the trade because they didn't touch any of the bevy of prospects that they have, which was the whole point of it. It just seemed like one of those situations where it was like, you know, like, like Chuck Fletcher had the wind at his back,

and he just put an extra, a little extra pepper on the deal. They're like, a little extra pepper. You know what I mean? It's like he didn't need to trade this much stuff for Martin Hansel. Here's why it's a great deal. But he's like rich and he's just like, he basically left like a $30 tip on a $40 meal. So I'm convinced the world's going to end before 2019, right? Pretty sure we all are.

I think these trades like this, the Shattankirk won't as well, I believe, has a 2019 pick in it. These are all rich white dudes, and they all have a secret network of rich white dudes. They all know Donald Trump. They know what he's thinking. This tells me they feel like we're all going to still be around in 2019. So in a way, it's reassuring to see these 2019 picks get traded. Sorry, because I'm not going to be, I mean, I might be dead anyway, but I'm not going to die because of a nuclear blast hitting New York or Toronto or something. It's pretty great.

And also, I like it for the wild. Ryan White scored two points the other night and first game with the wild so obviously they win but if Hansel can say healthy it'll work but he hasn't been able to really show that over his career I like it because there's

so much not there's so much very little separating all the best teams and this is why again I was just like push all in for Matthew Shane do it because that might be the difference this year for you and Martin Hansel is not worth all that crap no he's not but I appreciate in the context of this I appreciated what Fletcher said on his call

which is that you know it rewards the players were doing really well. It's like, hey, you guys have earned this trade. Good boys. Yeah, good boys. Tap up a pat on the head. And you know what's funny? It's like, I remember before Mike Yo got fired, all the guys in that locker room,

because I covered a game when they were here in New York, all the guys in the locker and we suck right now and we're waiting for them to make a trade, but they're not. And I'm like, this is great. We have a general manager who literally is like putting a bone on a fishing pole for a dog to chase. If you're a good boy and you do really well, you'll get the bone. but if you do who wants the beef jerky Who wants to get some scraps off at the table? I am dog

Martin Hensel's here Oh, do, do you want Marnsle Hensel? Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Timo Polkinen. For future considerations, which was the other part of this Coyote's Wild Docee dough. They'll consider it.

They'll think about it. They'll think about it. With the future considerations already could be anything. What do you like better? Future considerations, conditional picks, or cash consideration? Oh, wait. Player to be named later. Over all those?

Oh, player to be named later is so like 1980s. We're talking about the modern stuff, the millennial stuff. No, I would say of the... So what were the... I like cash, because I always want to know how much. Cash considerations, conditional pick, or future considerations? Future considerations, because it could mean one of several things. It could be a player.

It could mean a pick. It could mean a foot massage. Or it could be the encroaching oceans on our shores and how we're going to handle that. Or maybe even a lack of... of drinkable water. Future considerations. Fucking Tom Rowe has like the saw for our rising oceans down in South Florida and he's going to give it.

He's going to give it away if Thomas Vannock has 20 points down the stretch. It's a consideration for our future. It's like, oh, what are we getting for Timo Pool Clean? Oh, it's actually plans for a self-driving truck. You know, we're going to really need to figure out a way to get rid of congestion down the line. And I feel like this one's a winner. It's actually 20% off of all Blue Apron products. Blue Apron, a proud sponsor of Puck Soup Podcast.

Today are they? They are for this episode, aren't they? Who, Blue Apron? Yeah. Are they not? Cut that out, Katie, if that's not sure. I lose track. I like the idea of future considerations being a giant dome.

They put over a city. Next time your team comes to town, I may pick you up at the airport. Just call it in, and we'll be even on the trade. By the way, the name you're looking for, as far as the people that we love this week. ZipRecruiter. Boy, the ZipRecruiter. ZipRecruiter is a fantastic site

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Jesus. ZipRecruiter.com backslash puck. Continuing our journey through the trade deadline. Brian Boyle goes from the Tampa Bay Lightning to the Toronto Maple Leafs for Byron froze. Freeze? Is it froze or freeze? Is it Bob froze's kid?

Yeah, I always thought it was froze. Oh, right. I forgot about it. And then a 2017 second round pick. I saw somebody on Twitter. I believe it was like a Canadian broadcaster of some sort. Guillaume La Champon. No.

Just what you met her. Say this was a total. total robbery by the Toronto Maple Leafs, to which I said, trading for an expiring contract fourth liner cannot be a total victory in any way. It's a great trade for him. He's a third liner. He can play on the third line.

He's played fourth line minutes. But listen, I like Boyle. I like this trade. Good deal. He's going to be able to win a face-off for you. He can go in that locker room and be a well-like guy. He can lend some veteran sage advice to all the babies on the Maple Leafs. And then he can leave if he wants to.

leave. He's probably walking around that locker room spouting Tom Brady and New England Patriot propaganda like he always does goddamn Boston people. He has like a hundred brothers and sisters. Yeah. Well, he's Irish, so. No. Oh, Brian Boyle. Oh, Brian Boyle. Oh, the Boston Oils.

The Boston Boyle sounds like a CBS crime drama that stars Donnie Walberg. All the Walbergs. Because it's in Boston. Mark Wahlberg guy directed because it's in Boston. Mark Wahlberg plays Brian Boyle. Donnie Wahlberg plays Dan Boyle. even though they're not related That's a good deal

I like it I said we've got a murder on our hands Brian Tim Hines was impressed Tim Hines here at Yahoo by the way is Bostonian

and he told me a story today when we were doing our video before about how he had to he was in charge of interviewing a dude from NASCAR here at Yahoo the other day and

just accent central Yeah like the entire basis of the interview is talking about A car. So normally, the car goes like 45, 55 miles an hour, right? And it's just... So what happens when you're going around a track and all of a sudden you're...

Car. Skids out, kid. Why do you keep... Why y'all keep saying car in such a weird way there, Bubba? How long have you had your... Haar? All right, Jordy Ben goes to the Montreal Canadiens from the Dallas Stars for Greg. I'm just going to say Patreon because I don't give a shit.

And 2017, fourth round pick, Patarin. I like this trade for the Canadians. Actually, I think Jordy Ben is a pretty decent defenseman. He's got some term on his contract. He makes no money. On a day in which maybe the Canadians can be criticized for a lot of other things, I think this trade that was made a couple days before the deadline was actually a pretty good one. Wrong. Dumb trade. Waste of time.

Jim Nills, Warren Beards continues as the Canadians continue to bolster their penalty kill, as we'll get to again later. And Jordy Ben is, unlike his brother, he blocks a lot of shots, so he will go down to help the team. He's not a fan of going down. He will go down and get in the way and do what needs to be done. He'll definitely munch some minutes for you. He will, I mean, he's not, I don't think he's on a two-way contract, so he can't go down easily. But I think it's an option.

I've also heard that unlike his brother, he likes oral sex on women. No, that's not how we're doing this. Oh, you were just eating around the bush? Oh, no. Terrible. Jonathan Dallin and or Deline for Alex Burroughs. I know. That's why it's been Dallin.

When they talked about this trade, they're like Dalline. I'm like, they're doing the P.M. McGuire. Oh, God. Bada, Bap, Bulp Dahlia. Galt and Sprad. Gets six with Donna Dullet's mom and up up, Donna the Daly. This is the worst trade, right?

The worst trade of the deadline. It's really bad. The trade's whatever. It's the two-year extension with a no trade clause or no move clause, whatever it is, that came with it. That is bad. For Alex Burroughs, a 35-year-old forward. He turns 36 in like a month, too, by the way. Like, he's an old 35.

I get the idea that he's. So my. The so mine. You defend this trade because he's good in the room. He had a really positive effect on Bo Horvart. Hovart. Wait, did I say Hobart? Jesus Christ.

It's for a long day. Hovart College. Yeah, Hobart College. But Hor of art. But I think, like, I get it from a character perspective and obviously he does the dirty work on the ice too. But again, like, I'm with you, man. To your extension for a guy that old that's not really producing anything of consequence. It's insane.

Also, you gave up a blue chipper forum. And I know that, like, Pierre Dorian was like, oh, this guy is kind of falling down. Yeah. Cents fans will tell you, like, oh, no, he's like, he's like their fifth best prospect. He's almost a point for game right now. He's, you know, basically done. Who could be legally dead in the next, like, year? Like, on the ice, he may just be like, I can't skate anymore.

My legs won't work anymore. The amazing thing about this trade is that they actually make it at a point in which Philip Forzberg is the biggest name in hockey right now. I know. And, like, just constant reminders about the ERA trade. And it's like, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this. And they did it and gave him two more years. They did it and gave him two more years.

And he's not as good as Martin Erad. Oh, no, Martin Eirat had one more year left on his dealer, right? He wasn't a pure rental. No, no, no, he wasn't a pure rental. But then he requested a trade the next season, remember? Yeah, he's like, you know what? He was like Curtis Lizar only older and not as good anymore. And it was like, get me somewhere else.

But again, this was the most wonderful thing about this trade was seeing every single person in Vancouver that has been dropping Trow and shitting on their GM, Jim Benning, over and over again, all of a sudden question everything they thought to be true in life. But like, like, he says, like the trade is whatever, it's the two-year extension that makes it bad. It's not like Jim Benning gets to take two years off of a contract on his team to match

it. It's not like he can be like, well... But the two-year contract is the reason he was able to move up. He had a clause. He weighed his clause because he wanted to sign a deal there. But, I mean, who's signing Alex Burroughs for two years if he goes to UFA status this summer? Nobody. Otto was so weird because auto was that, like, rare team that's still

does stuff to make its fans happy to like sort of be like, remember Toronto? Everything they ever did there was always like, well, what are the fans going to say? Now like, Brother Shanahan's like, I can give a shit. I'm just going to do whatever I want. I'm going to fucking tank for a year. Try and stop. And Ottawa's like, well, look it. We went out and got Alex Burroughs and you're like, way, they're trying to.

Wow, he's only got nine goals this year. My only thing with the extension was I guess Chris Neal's a UFA this summer. So maybe that's his replacement. You know what? You can't. You can't replace with Chris Neal. It's impossible to go out and find someone on the open market that can do what Chris Neal does.

Yeah, exactly. The intangibles. Let's talk about the senators for a second. What did you guys think of Eric Carlson getting scared by a crocodile? I didn't see that. He was playing golf with... Jesper Parvick, yeah. And they were near a water hazard.

And there was like an alligator in the water hazard, and it moved. And he went like, blah. Dude, a fucking alligator ate a kid like less than a year ago. I'd be shitting my pants, too. Jeremy Roneg almost fought one. Come on, Dave. Oh, he did it. Yeah.

What, you never, like a year ago? You never played. Are you guys on the internet all? Are you guys on Alligator.com every day? Like, why do you guys know all the latest alligator news that I know? Alligator Daddy. Like you just have like an alligator news like alert that you have on your phones that I don't? Yeah.

It's like, oh, you missed it, man. Remember that baseball player, Kent Herbeck? Yeah. He's apparently married to an alligator. Legally. Minnesota's got crazy laws over there, Dave. Don't you know what's going on? Alligator, stand up.

Against draining swamp That's the lead Headline on alligator news.com right now. You didn't hear him, I thought he was at alligator alley. Oh, what is that? Is that like a street in Florida? No, it's a literal alley filled with alligators where he hangs out.

Don't you read the news lozo? Yeah. No. Tell me the Jeremy Roanick story, though. He fought an alligator. He was playing golf and was on the... Did he like hit it with his golf club of the row. It was on the golf course, like by the water hazard

and I guess he went over to it and... Tap it with the stick. The alligator... What is the golf course? He looked at him and said, he said, I want you to eat a ring. Now I have more of them than you do. He had Chubbs's hand with a ring inside his belly,

so he went inside the belly to get the ring of Chubes. And Roderick started crying and then beating him senseless. It was pretty impressive. I can't believe that. How are there golf courses where there's fucking live alligators roaming around? It's weird when I feel like... It's Florida. Yeah, that's your answer.

Can't they just shoot them? Alliers have legs, Dave. They can move around. Yeah. We have guns with bullets and stuff in them. Have you seen how big outwears are? I once stepped over a puddle on a street in Fort Lauderdale, and there was a fucking tiny alligator in it. Really?

Yeah, it's crazy. No, not really. I've never been to Fort Lauderdale. For God's sakes. Kevin Chattonkirk and Phoenix Copley go to the Washington Capitals from the St. Louis Blues for Zach Sanford, Brad Malone, a first round pick and a conditional second round pick in 2019 after the world explodes. This is notable for a couple reasons. one, the fact that Phoenix Copley was a goaltender that the St. Louis Blues

greatly coveted in the T.J.O. She trade, I believe. Two, Zach Sanford was a prospect identified by the Blues at the beginning of this process as being the guy that they want. And he might not even be in the top five top prospects for the Capitals. And three, the fucking Washington Capitals pulled Kevin Chatton Kirk out of the Blues and added him to a blue line that already included on the right side, Matt Niskin and John Carlson. Okay, so like I walk into the clubhouse at a Florida golf course, right? Back on alligators? You can rank clubs, right? And you rent the golf cart.

You can rent a gun probably because only for alligator murder, though, not for any other murder. Like if an alligator comes out of the pond, you should be able to shoot the alligator, right? I mean, I'm not saying you should go out and murder all these animals because they're just living their lives. But if you build a golf course around the goddamn alligator family, like you should get some protection from the clubhouse. You bring up a very interesting point. That's a water hazard. To me, the outer exterior of an alligator and or a crocodile looks very... I don't think you can puncture it with a golf club.

Or a gun. You need a big gun. No, I think a... Wait, you need fucking armor-piercing bullets and take down an alligator? It's not predator, Sean. Yeah, it's not Luke Cage. He's not John Wick with a bulletproof suit on... I don't know.

I've never touched an alligator, so I can't tell you. But it looks tough. I've touched an alligator with poetry. Oh, my God. Welcome to the new alligator. Gator Soup podcast. Gator soup. Gator soup.

Gator soup. You're in. The Shattankirk deal is awesome. And here's why it's awesome. It's very simple. Kevin Shattankirk is awesome at hockey. And they got them for like nothing, basically. Yeah.

And this is the only sport in the world. I was saying this on Twitter where a super good team in the sport will get a really good awesome guy at the deadline. And there's always some people that go, I don't know how he's going to fit in with the team. Yeah. What about the chemistry? Like the Indians. Cleveland in the end

had the best pitching staff in baseball last year they had a great closer and they paid out the nose for Andrew Miller no one was like I don't know what's that gonna do

to the bullpen hierarchy they were like no he's gonna pitch two winnings every game would be awesome they got it Brian McClell and the GM of the Capitol's got a question during his press conference

which was basically so what happens with the ice time for the other defenseman I'm like here's probably what happens you go to Matt Niskenen and you say look we're going to pay you a lot of money and you should be pretty happy

about that and this new guy this guy here is better than you and now you're going to play less so he can play more it's simple yeah it's pretty simple here I saw the problem but wait how's that going to affect him if he goes from playing 20 minutes a night to 17

and a half well he's going to be fresher he's going to be better yeah he's going to play easier competition probably on most nights and like they were saying today that Brooks Orpick's going to be the guy that plays with Shattankirk and that's how you hide Brooks Orpick because you put a guy that can skate out there again I saw this move for the beginning as being a response to what happened in the playoffs last year.

When Orpick was suspended, it exposed the depth on defense, they're not going to have that issue anymore. They couldn't score five on five against the penguins. Chatt and Kirk, the majority of his assists are at even strength this year. I know he gets to knock on being just an offensive defense who makes his lunch on the power play,

but he's pretty good, even strength too. There's nothing not to like about this trade. It's a great trade. It makes them immeasurably better and prepares them to maybe finally, play for a championship in the Evachan era, which they've never done. And I'm talking about a championship. Not a conference championship?

A conference championship? A conference champion? I'm saying a conference championship would be the bare minimum. And I'm saying if they actually make it to the conference championship and lose, they should probably still raise a banner. Oh, well, they will. And dude, the difference, you weren't at the Rangers Caps game a week ago. You were there last night.

Yeah, I was there last night. The difference between those two games. And, like, there were some guys out compared to the two games. Like, the Caps could not move. the puck out of their zone when Brooks Warpick was on the ice. And he'll be on the ice when they play in the playoffs that they ever do. But they're just so much quicker. There's so much better with him back there.

It's just, it's, there's so much to love about this trade all the way down to the simplest, most microscopic facts. Like, they acquired a guy who is practiced in the art of passing on the power play to a Russian in the circle. Like, for God's sakes. He's Taylor fucking made for this team. I don't know.

What about the locker room? Gosh forbid. You just add great players to your team. You're a Yankees fan, right? Yes. Like, I'm probably when they would just trade for guys all the time. They just be like, oh, let's get Raoul Mondesie. What's he going to do to the chemistry in the clum house?

No, they're just like, he's going to hit 40 fucking home runs and be awesome. Like, at that point, it's career, not 40. No, you're right, though. I mean, like, it was essentially like, let's get a star player. And then they're like, oh, God, what happens? Like, well, he'll be on the bench. And then when it's tied in the eighth inning of a playoff game, We're going to put in fucking Jose Canseco.

Yeah. But their bench is ridiculous and they're in the postseason. It doesn't make any sense to not like this trade. If the capitals fail in the postseason, it's not going to be because Kevin Shattonkirk upset the chemistry in that room. Oh, I lost the headphones. Every time you do something over there and I lose the headphones. Oh, it gives a shit. Fucking wish. Brendan Smith goes to New York Rangers Constellation Prize for not wanting to ante up and pay for Kevin Chattonkirk.

For 2017, third round pick in 2018, second round picked. It goes back to Ken Holland and Detroit Red Wings. Again, you've got two pretty decent picks for Brendan Smith, and I think Holland does a really good job here. And, you know, the Rangers need a defensive depth. I like the move for them. He's not terrible. He's going to be their top pair guy with McDonough is what he's going to be.

He's not depth. He's their second best defenseman now. That's how bad the fucking Rangers defense is. Yeah, they were saying today because they played together in college, so they repaired to those course. Oh, all right. So it's one of those deals. Yeah.

They've got some history together. They have no right-headed defensemen, so they've got to put somebody up there. I'm actually really happy the Rangers didn't overpay for Shattenkirk because they could get them anyway if they want them. It makes no sense to try to do a deal now. First of all, I don't believe you want eight years of him. So, I mean, that's the only reason you do a side and trade.

Well, now they can't give him eight years. No, that's what I'm saying. The only reason you do is sign and trade with the blues is to get that eighth year. But I mean, if Brent Burns gets eight years at the age of 30, Kevin Shatton Kirk should probably expect eight years at the age of 28. Yeah, but Brent Burns got eight years with a team that had him. Right. And you don't know what you fucking have with Shat and,

Kirk yet. That's the issue. What do you mean? You don't know what you have. Well, he goes to the Rangers and all of a sudden it's like, you know, Rick Nash. You know what I mean? I mean, the guy who scored 40 goals a couple years ago for Rick Nash? Oh, God, so good. Guy's one of their best forwards the past five years? Yeah, you don't want that. Victor Stahlberg was traded

from the Carolina Hurricanes to the Ottawa Senators. Former Ranger. Great Bigger's for a 2017 third round pick. We were talking about this trade because it was praised on TSN for adding a two-time Stanley Cup champion to the room for the senators. And honestly, like, when Victor Stalberg does get up before game seven and says, now look, boys, as you know, I'm a two-time Stanley Cup champion. Everybody piped down.

Vicky's got to tell you a thing or two about winning. And then Kyle Torres whispers to Mike Hoffman. Who is this guy again? Do you just call himself Vicki? And Vicki gets up there and says, you know, To win in the playoffs means that you must give 140%

and also play on both ends of the ice. That's not Vicky talking. That's a little man named Jonathan Taves who said that and they all gasp. You know Jonathan. Yes. I won two Stanley Cups with him. Do you have his phone number? Well, no.

You know where he lives? I'll have you know he was recently named one of the 100 greatest players in the history of the National Hockey League and like Kyle Taurus is writing down this in this trapper keeper.

God. It's whatever. Who gives us shit? No, it's good. That's the trades they should make where they don't have to give Victor Stalberg four more years after they get him. Right, exactly.

You get him to agree to go. Pure rental. Victor Stolberg will go there and then he'll go to another team that sees value in him being Victor Stalbubber. Yeah, in the Swedish hockey league. How old is he at this point? He's not that old, is he?

He's probably like 30. 20s. He's in his journeyman years, like, way early. You played an Amstel Light, so he might be a little older. Did you say he played for Amstel Light? He played in the NCAA, so he's got to be an Lydelight, too. Well, that could be where he is next year, the Amstilibirley. You never know.

He's like, oh, I was told that there would be Becks. They're like, nope, sorry, man, Amstel Light, it's all we got for you. You get two bottles, though. I get out there and give it you're all. It's too heavy for a light beard. Do you have anything else? The New York Rangers,

oh, here we go, boys. The New York Rangers acquired Daniel Kattanakki Katenachi? I pronounce that Ketanachi. I pronounce that Ketanachi because it's like. It's Katenachi. But it's like it's like Tabarachi. Yeah, like Rick Taborachi.

But it's Kate and that cat, right? Daniel Katen Achi. It's like the Italian version of Kate and Alley is the way I remember. He's traded for Matt Bodey. Matt Bodey. Which sounds like me saying my booty with a stuff he knows. I think Matt Bode is actually the guy from a, what do you call it, point break? played Patrick Swayze's character.

So it's Matt quotations, Bode and quotations Boderamas or whatever his name. Like Matt Bodeo robs banks and he also robs with his contracts. This is a trade between two people

I've never heard of. Well, here's how I'm going to break it down for you guys. Please. Because I have a lot of, I watch a lot of footage on these guys, Doc and Eddie, and I can tell you right now that Matt Bode is a really good player out of the University of Wisconsin

who played a lot of good minutes, a lot of tough minutes over there. He was a really good player, came to the NHL and is going to be a really good factor for this team because he goes out there and works hard and plays good at both ends of the ice. And that's the thing. I'm glad you did it without periods because I noticed that every time Pierre did a hit today on TSN, there were no periods.

It just went straight through. And the highlight of the day for Pierre McGuire on TSN was when the New Jersey Double Spoiler acquired Dillon Prout, Dalton Prout, and he goes into this three-minute spiel about all of the relationships between the general managers on both teams. You went back to Fred Schiro. Yeah, he went back to like Fred Schiro begot Ray Shear. He was like, Kekalainen. They told Blake was out there watching this kid and when he was in his dad's balls.

Yeah, it was like biblical. And then like, and then he gets at the end of this whole spiel and he goes, and that's exactly why the devil's traded for Dalton Sprout. I'm like, oh, man. It's like when we write an article, like a 1200 word article and then in the first paragraph, you spell Kevin Lowe without the E on the end and people were just dispelling the whole thing. Michael Haley spelled the right way.

Johnny O'Dooie goes back to Chicago Blackhawks for Mark McNeil and a fourth round conditional pick, as Stan Bowman does, as Stan Bowman does, which is reacquire players that used to play for the Chicago Blackhawks. Sean, what do you feel about this trade? I don't have any feelings. I don't either. O'Dooie was fine, I guess, in Chicago. Who did he play with?

Was it John Merson? He played with Yarmus. Super Nintendo Yarmulson. Yeah, he was one of the four defensemen. So, yeah. So if you get that back together. It's fine. I mean, like, it gives them a cheap alternative on the blue line.

No commodity. Familiarity. And, you know, listen, I'm not a Trevor Van Riemsdike fan in full disclosure. Hmm. So I like the idea that maybe he plays less. I'm okay with TVR. I think he's okay. Johnny O'Dooia, what was he, like, 35 at this point?

Yeah, he's probably near the end. Yeah, I don't know if you're going to be able to recapture that two rounds worth of Johnny O'Dooia playing 24 minutes a night. Well, it's better than, you know, dragging Kimo Tehmun's corpse. up the ice a couple years ago. Are you saying that there's a chance that Johnny O'Duio will be the Andrew Ladd

of defensive trades for them? Trying to revisit the past, maybe a little too often. But Brian Campbell? What happened to Brian Campbell? He wasn't really good this year? He just passed away all of a sudden, like he was good and fly out. He's on TV show now. No, he was the guy

that everybody said was carrying Ekblad. Bless you. Maybe it's the other way around. Think of that. The Montreal Canadiens Trade David DeHarnay to the Edmondson Oilers for

Brandon Davidson. Now this is an interesting trade for two reasons. Is it? For the first reason is that last year at this time all the Montreal fans were stressing over the fact the Michelle Tarian was playing David Dayharnay too much and now they're both gone. The other interesting thing is that the Edmonton Oilers could have really used

a fourth line center that could win a face-off and instead they got David DeHarnay. But here's why the day is so bad for Montreal. The De Haar Ney. The De Haar Ney. They made... That would be the New York Post headline. It would be Day... When he scores the... Har? Do the whip and the De Haarnay Ne. When De Haar Ney would have scored in game seven that beat the Rangers in the first round this year. Day Har nay. No, but they made every move they had to make to free up space to get Matthew Shane. And they just

fucking got all these stupid plugger guys that aren't good. A guy who has another year on his contract, by the way, in Davis in this case. I guess they're going to hopefully have him be expansion draft. Yeah. And they traded Sven Andregetto because they were like, well,

we were going to have to expose him. Like, no, but that was part of the motivation was keeping him from being exposed. Like, can expose him.

Who cares? I got real good news for everybody listening. Oh, we almost done. We've officially reached March 1st. The San Jose Sharks acquire Yonahannsen

for Nikolai Goldobin and a 2017 fourth-round pick, conditional. Another great. trade for Jim Benning because he traded a guy and Hanson. He's got

another year left on his contractor after this year for a prospect that's looked pretty good in limited time with the San Jose Sharks and really looked good in the HL. If you can develop an NHL game, he could be really good. And a fourth round pick, and I like this deal for both. I also really like this deal for the sharks in the sense

that this is a really versatile forward that can play in a lot of different situations for them and a good guy to have on the team. Got defensive responsibility. You can play in the bottom six as they need them too. I like it. It's good move.

Good move for both teams. Win-win. I felt the sharks needed to make one move, get a winger that meant Michael Haley would not touch the ice in April, May, and June. And this is it. Is that like Gianna Canson? He's a decent little player. Yonik Hansen feels like this changed, but like Brian Rust was a guy who seemed to always get

fucking breakaways and never score. But then he started scoring on him, and then people would retweet my old tweets where I made fun of Brian Russ not being able to score breakaways. Had that coming. Like Yonik Hansen's kind of like that. You know, I think he's a fantastic, fantastic addition for them. Yeah, solid move. I like it.

What do you think? Mbop. Sure. Okay. There you go. Agree. Leahy's never actually seen the Sharks play. What's the West Coast?

There's a Western conference? The Montreal Canadiens acquire. Let's go to the other end of the spectrum now, boys. The Montreal Canadiens acquire Steve Ott from the Detroit Red Wings for a 2018 sixth-round pick. A 2018-sixth-round pick, what would be the comparison? in life to this transaction. We're like if we were going to exchange something, what's the... This would be like if I bought a snapple with three broken muscle shells from the Jersey Shore.

Oh, muscle shells. I didn't know where you were going. I was going to say like this would be like if you needed to buy your girlfriend a present for her birthday. but you forgot. And you said, look, in 2018, on a random day in the future, I'm going to get you a pet. And she was like, deal. This is if you felt like you needed to upgrade your home protection services, maybe by getting an alarm system. And instead, you purchased a rusty hammer.

Oh, I see what you're doing. And traded a 1992 hoops card for it. Alex English. making fun of Steve Ott. I'm making fun of the way off 2018, six-round tank. We're doing two different things. I just figured it out. Steve-Ot sucks. It's terrible trade. Steve-Ox a really bad hockey player who's not going to help that team.

He's going to take at least one awful penalty in their playoff series. But he's good in the room, Dave. Oh, Doc and Eddie, Steve Ott out there. He's a really good face-off guy. Imagine if this guy couldn't win a face-off. Like, what... He wouldn't even be allowed in an arena if he couldn't win a face-off. He's so bad at every way.

like it's one thing to be like like Tom Wilson's bad but like Tom Wilson is not bad when he's not trying to murder people and get smashed him high because mashy messy hurt hurt like Steve Ott even when Steve Ott's not taking stupid penalties

like he can't do anything like Tom Wilson can occasionally you put Tom Wilson with Ovechkin and Baxter and you can get away with that for a game you can't put Steve on anywhere with the fourth line for eight minutes I just love the idea at some point Claude Julian is going to be looking down his bench in the playoffs Oh that poor guy

The Canadians are going to be down like three goals in an elimination game. He's going to look down his bench. He's going to see Steve Ott sitting next to Andrew Shaw and the White King. No, sitting next to Brendan Gallagher. And he's just going to look at them like Reg John Lopp looked at the Hansons. He's going to be like, fly my monkeys. Go out there and murder Stefan Zavid and Hayes.

Find those three guys and just bury them for the next round. Brandon Randford. Brendan Randford. Great player. Goes to the Arizona Coyote's Joe Whitney Goes to the Colorado Avalanche. I believe these are two of the generic names from the hockey romance novels

that we covered in a previous episode of Bucksuit. These guys have pedigree. One's Bill Ranford's son And one's Ryan Whitney's... No, he's the nephew of the guy who made the cotton gin. The great nephew of Eli Whitney. Cody Corbett goes from the Colorado Avalanche

to Washington Capitals for Joe Kenada. Folks, these are actual trades that happened on the NHL trade deadline. Sounds like a deal involving two WW superstars. Cody Corbett, is he from NXT? Yeah, so Kaylee Calais got traded for Joe Kanata. Joe Kanada from Canada? So imagine a scene in the movie Goon 2, right, where Sean William Scott's looking at a newspaper and he's trying to catch up on the latest transactions. That would be the two names you would make up in the script to make it seem like they were real hockey players. because those those can't be real guys Can't this guy stop a puck

Canada canada. Canada. Canada. From Canada, Canada. Hello Mother. It's Canada. We traded Corbett for Joe Canada. That fucking everybody over the age of 50 right now is losing their shit.

Everyone knows that song. You think people, you think millennials know Hello Mother, Hello Fada? No. Go ask the girls on your text group. Well, those aren't millennials. Those are sub-millennial. Those are teams.

Sub-millennial? What are they like the chuds of millennials? They're like, it's like there's Generation Y, Generation X, Millennials, and there's like a new thing. We can't just keep calling everybody under the age of 35 millennials. I don't think sub-millennial is really what they were going to be called. So what are they going to be called? Privileged.

Onlineers. Wow. We'll get back to this. We'll workshop it. We'll get back to this. Thomas Vanek goes to the Florida Panthers in exchange for Dylan McElrath on his third team this season. and a 2017-th-round pick. I still remember when the Rangers drafted Dylan McElrath, like 10th overall, I want to say it was.

And they drafted up ahead of Cam Fowler, ahead of other defensemen. Tarasanko went six-pict. They made the league. And the reason they drafted him is because at the time, they needed size in the blue line, and his nickname was The Undertaker.

Hear that? Is that sandpaper you got to do, bud? That's sandpaper. That's what you got. That's what you use your 10th pick in the draft for, sandpaper. That Vanek to the Panthers is not a bad move for them On their left They could use a little help on their left side

And they could also use them a little help on their power play Which I can't I'd have to really get in the numbers And see if it sucks because Barakoff and Hubertoe Were injured for parts of the season or not But like their 25th adding him to the power play It's not a bad thing It's not a bad move But I also don't like him

Anywhere near a playoff team I don't trust him To unlock what could be there in the right situation, which we've seen in the past. Yeah, which Montreal tried to do and what happened there.

But he played that postseason with a busted hand. I feel like he gets a bad rap for that. He also got rip snoring drunk at the Olympics. Who did it? It's the Olympics. Come on.

That's not the third round of the playoffs. He's also prone on giving up clear open opportunities as we've seen over the years. I'm so sad vines gone because I had like three different vines of like Vanneck on breakaways given drop passes.

It's the most amazing. In Buffalo, I remember him in Buffalo. I was a guy who stood in front of the net and took poundings and got rebound goals. And I feel like ever since then, maybe I just misread him. Now he's like a fancy, doesn't want to go in the middle guy. Let me ask you something.

So we're both probably from like a middle class background, would you say maybe, right? I think so. Me and you. Is it because we didn't grow up rich that when you see NHTS, shell players with a clear open opportunity to achieve something and then they don't that you need to ridicule them.

Wow. Because now we've talked about Yanik Hansen and Thomas Vanek being in the Dave Lozo hates people that can't complete breakaways club. So what is that about? What's the psychological underpinning of your ridicule of these players of these paid professionals? Let me just lean back on the couch here. Yeah. You know, I think there is something to it.

I think it's a deep, deep-rooted jealousy of never myself having the break-overdew. and feeling that I could do better than those guys who had them handed to them by other people. And maybe deep down I need to examine my own insecurities and shortcomings when it comes to breakaways of life. Right. Because you see these players and they've been handed everything on a silver platter. Maybe it's an outlet pass. Maybe it's turnover. And they get the opportunity and then they wasted.

And in Vanek's case, because I feel like you had a little bit more vitriol for Vanek than you did Hansen. In Vanek's case, it's not even the situation where you can't. convert the chance it's that he's passing up the chance gives it up like Brian Rust is like fuck it I'm going backhand and I'm jamming this right into Henrik Lundquist back blocker I don't care right Thomas Vanek's like I don't need it I don't want it like I would just crank up a slap shot and fired as hard as I could and have fun right but Thomas Vanek just privilege right that's what it is Greg that's what it is white privilege it's it's a it's like he's like

throwing first editions of the Iliad into a fireplace just for kindling German privilege is he German he's Austrian Austin, yeah. Trin. Close enough. The Los Angeles, oh, wait, the Los Angeles Kings trade Dwight King for a fourth round pick from the Montreal Canadiens. And then, of course, opening up that space, the Los Angeles Kings acquired Jerome Ginnla for a conditional fourth round pick from the Colorado Avalanche. Now, the fourth round pick, the conditions on it are hilarious.

Because basically, like, if they don't re-sign a GINLA and they don't get to the playoffs, it's like, poof. It just disappears. Free trade. Like Kaiser fucking Soze. Like the Joker and the pencil trick. He's gone. It's gone. It's disappeared.

Actually, it's very much like the Joker. It says, if you're good at something, never do it for free. Can I ask you a question as someone who's never seen John Wick? I see all this talk about the pencil trick and John Wick. Is it the Joker pencil trick? Yeah, it's John Wick too. He does a little pencil thing. Well, in the first one, the mythology is that he once killed three people with a pencil.

And then in the second one, he does like a... They show it. No, no, no. Well, yeah, I guess he does. kill three people with a pencil on the second one. So maybe it's a prequel to the... No, it can't be... But it's not like, ta-da, it's gone.

It's more like a Jackie Chan, like karate. Did I ever show you my pencil trick? Wait, so are you pissed off that they didn't leave it to someone's imagination? I thought you're doing Jackie Chan. I was like, who the hell is that? Hey, um, Jackie, what time is it? It's Shanghai I knew. And then it's Jim Rome, too.

Rock him. Rock him. My dog. Whoa, Jackie, did you feel that? Yeah. It was a rumble in the Bronx. Sign. Jay Chan.

From Tokyo. Rock him. Rock him. Dwight King is another acquisition for the Montreal Canadiens of grit and sandpaper and bullshit. Jerome McGinlet of the Kings is something that if it happened five years ago, it'd be my favorite trade of all time. He'd be wearing the jersey. I've always wanted to see him in. I would have loved it.

they're putting him on a line with Anjikopatar is what they've said today. Okay, so before the season, I said Devon Sedgucci would score 30 goals because they were going to put them up there at Copa tar and stuff. How many games do the Kings have left this season, Greg? It's probably about like 20 something, I would imagine. Jerome McGinla will score eight goals in the regular season down the stretch for the King. So it would appear that you're saying that you believe this trade will work out in the King's favor. I feel like... This is Vinnie Le Cavié, 2.0.

Yeah. Remember when Ryan Kloog got traded to the Rangers? He had no goals all season, then he got to the Rangers, and he scored like three and five games, and then he got concussed the end. It feels like this. It feels like that.

I feel like he's in the right place with the right speed on the line with him. That's the thing. You can look at it one of two ways. You can look at it as the Los Angeles Kings not playing the type of hockey that is required to now win in the National Hockey League.

They're not fast enough. Or you can look at it from a Jerome McGillick perspective and say, he's gone to the right team for his skill set because all he do is play plotting heavy hockey. Exactly, and then he'll score, he'll finish the year with 17, 18 goals, and then maybe he'll get one more year next year with another team, and everyone. Then he'll really be free, because he's not really free at the Kings,

because the Kings aren't really guaranteed to make the playoffs. I am rooting really hard for him to do well. He's one of my favorite players of all time. I want him to do well. I just think this, I just think of like, again, the Kings and the Canadians are in the same boat. They needed offense, and I don't think that this is going to be. work out. It's better than what the Habs did. Yeah, it is better than what the Habs did because they got a guy

who actually has a discernible goal scoring record. Like Jerome McGillan actually has a couple of goals on his credit. Yeah. He has a few goals to his credit, yeah. Unlike, um, who's the guy they got for Sven Andrew Ghetto? Andreas Martinson? Yeah. You know what? There's a part of me that thinks this is trotting out Nick Foley for another match and

he's not going to be able to perform, but there's another part of me that thinks it could be Goldberg coming back and doing really well and being a main eventer. Exactly. It's exactly what I was going to say to. Mike McKenna, who who is my favorite, we follow each other on Twitter, traded to the Tampa Bay Lightning

from the Florida Panthers for Adam Wilcox. Mike, like the devil's goalie? The former devil's goalie, yeah. He was still kicking around. I thought he was like a professional goalie media guy now. He plays hockey stuff. Well, I don't know. Maybe he doesn't.

Surprise. Maybe Steve Weiseman was bamboozled by this. What was the trade? Mike McKenna for Adam Wilcox. Adam Wilcox was very good in college in Minnesota. No, look at that. I knew there was a reason Leahy was here.

Just like Matt Bowie was with the union when he won a national title there a couple years ago. That's all I got with those two guys. Well, who's better? Wilcox. What's his name? Mike Wilcox? Adam Wilcox or Mike Mayock? Because they both sound like, it sound like you're asking for permission.

All right. Ready, ready, Leahy? Fuck Mary Kill. Mike McKenna. Mike Mayock. Adam Wilcox. Kill McKenna. I mean, I'm sorry.

Kill Mayock. Very good. Correct. Mary McKenna. Yeah, he seems really. Oh, actually, you know what Adam Wilcox was? Remember when the Syracuse Crunch did that lip sync Beyonce video earlier this year? Adam Wilcox, look it up on YouTube.

He was the star of that video. I made a number of gifs or gifs, whatever you're going to call it. The way he was dancing, he did like some kind of zombie thing, and it looked like he was having almost like a seizure at some points. You're like a more modern day, Pierre McGuire. You have information about college guys that I'm interested in. I'm trying to add something here, dude. That's all I got. I'm saying, Doc Kennedy, this guy appeared in a Beyonce parody video for his crush.

He also dressed up like Frankenstein zombie for Halloween. Big hit on Instagram. Look, I'll leave you two to debate the Kyle Quincy and Dalton Prout trade, okay? Okay. The Edmonton Oilers acquired Justin Fontaine, 1950s dance show host, Justin Fontaine. Justin Fontaine was a character I played in a movie. 1974 alongside

De Niro is good Good movie Justin Fontaine For Taylor Beck Goes back to the New York Rangers Never Trust a man with two First names

Beck? Yeah Beck Bennett One guy Beck The musician Beck the musician Beck Hanson is his name Actually his name is Beckery

It's not Beck All right well You bought that. I made that up front. Oh, God, damn. Beckery. Great trade for both teams. I think the Rangers win that. I like Justin Fontaine.

He's fine. The New Jersey Devils, hell. We finally at the trade Leahy reference before. By the way, we are really dealing with some high-quality trades here on March 1st. What a deadline, folks. The Columbus Blue Jackets acquire Kyle Quincy from the New Jersey Devils for Dalton Prout. We mentioned before how everyone involved in this trade knows each other through P. McGuire.

And then also, you know, Lozo and I grew up Devils fans. Remember when the Devils used to make deadline deals rather than just doing the shit they do now where they sign a guy and then

trade them for a conditional pick or Dalton Prout? I remember as a kid never liking the Devil's Deadline trades and they always worked out. It was like, Lou Lamarillo goes out and gets Neil Broughton.

I'm like, fucking Neil Broughton. Yeah, I would be like the final piece of the fucking puzzle. Sean Chambers and Dan Cole. And I'm like, who the fuck is Sean Chambers?

Grant Marshall was another big deadline deal. Was New Endicke a deadline deal, or is that... Yeah. That's a good question. I think he might have been. I think he might have been the deadline before they won the comp. I remember being a kid and going to, like, a season ticket function. My mom's company had season tickets.

And we used to go to, like, the devil skates and stuff because nobody else wanted to. And I remember go... This is a true story, talking about Neil Broughton. I went up to Lou as a kid in 95. I mean, I was a high school kid. About to go to college. Okay, I was almost an adult. You were 31.

Yeah. And I went up to Lou, and I thanked him. I thanked him for... He had a full head of hair. He was like, yeah. He was just like Marty McFlag. He looked like Dwayne from what's happening. He just had a...

No, I, uh... I'm thinking of what's happening because it was on the air when I was a kid in 95. I went up to him, and I thanked, I thanked Lou for finally getting a number one center, is what I said. I said, thank you for finally getting us the number one center, is what I said. I said, thank you for finally getting us in number one center, to which I'm sure Lou thought, you know, era, fuck you. I've been acquiring centers every year since 87. But, like, I knew that Broughton was an important acquisition for that team because the alternatives were like, you know, we had the, we, we had the Jim Dad, Sergey Gabriel and Platoon, Bobby Carpenter. They needed a center, and that was a huge deal.

Did I ever tell you the story about, I'm sure I told you the story, I think I've written about this a bunch of times about the, the Martaibradora and the Applebee's in 2003? No, please. Who did the devils get at the deadline in 2003 when they won the Cup? See, I thought it was new in Nike for some reason. That wasn't, I think the Grant Marshall and they beat Ottawa, was that 2000? Or was that 2003? That was 2003.

Was it Jeff Freezing they got in 2003? Hang on here. I'll find it. Keep talking. I'll just keep talking. Okay, so here's the story. I worked nights and weekends, and this was like a midweek day. Yeah, well, no, that was July.

Keep going. And Dan Rosen of NHL.com fame, my roommate at the time back in 2003, he used to live together. Grant Marshall. Grant Marshall. And Richard Schmellick. Richard Schmellick. So he calls me, and it's like 10 o'clock at night and a Wednesday, and I'm off because, like, I will give weird days off when you work nights and weekends in a newspaper. He's like, you got to come to Appleby's.

I'm like, why? He's like, dude, just get your car, drive over here. It's like five minutes away. The Applebee's in Clifton on Route 3. Okay, fine, fine, I'll come. So I go over there, I drive over there. I walk in. And the second I walk in, I know exactly why he wanted me to come.

It's because Martin Brodor, John Madden, and Jim McKenzie, and some guy who I assume is their driver, some little tiny dude, were all sitting at the bar while Marty was trying to wheel the super-duper hot bartender at Applebee's. So I come in, we sit down, and they had just lost, I want to say, to the Atlanta Thrashers. And Marty is tanked. He has had quite a few beers. And in 2003, at the deadline, the guy, everybody wanted was Ziggy Palfi and the Devils of course were a team that couldn't score goals.

Right. And he was fucking pissed that the Devils didn't get Ziggy Palfi. Like he wasn't like bad mouthing Grant Marshall or anything. He's like, what the fuck? We need offense and, uh, Ziggy Poffy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And me and Rosen just kind of sat there and just like listen to him, bitch, to Jim McKenzie. John Madden was just, I don't think John Madden said a word the whole time. I feel like he got roped into going out and didn't really want to hang out with Marty Brutier.

And yada, yada, yada. they won 16 games in April, May, and June, all with the help of Grant Marshall. There you go. And so, yeah. But, like, he eventually gave his number to the bartender because she wasn't giving up her number. He just gave her his cell phone number,

and that's a whole other story. We'll do it on another. There's a whole other story. There's a whole other story. All right, moving on. Oh, boy. Andres Martinson, or Andreas Martinson, for Sven

Andregetto Andregetto Andrew Ghetto Andrew Ghetto music Andrew Oh you're doing you're doing Elvis Presley I was doing her carminton Well there's one thing that we don't need

It's another four Andrew Gettto Andrew Gettio Andrew Gettio And he's mama cried I distinctly remember going back through Mark Bergenman's like draft day stuff

And like Sven Andrygetto was like the second best guy he had drafted outside of Gal Chedniuk, but like he was coming along, Andrew Ghetto, and now they're like, you're too, you're too, you're too small. It's like, it's like 2000, not even two, it's like 1995 all over again. You're not big enough to play in the NHL. We need big guys. And now Sven And Draghiot is going to go to Colorado and probably

square 20 years. Right, because the Canadians were all about increasing. It was funny, on TSN they were like, oh, you know, they tried to get good hockey players and then they couldn't, and then they just went with plan B, which was getting a bunch of big, big guys. I'm just like, what, how the fuck is that

Even like a plan A and a plan B. On ice hockey Nintendo, you can't go with the four fat guys. No. You got to mix it up, right? And if you want to have sandpaper guys, all right, you went and got Weber for Sue Mann. You got Andrew Shaw in there for Lars Eller. That's enough. You've made your point about toughness.

We need Dwight King. We need Steve off. It's like, hey, Mark, got really bad news. Colorado pulled Matthew Shane off the table. All right, Plan B then. Let's acquire Dwight King, Steve Ott, Jordy Ben. It's like, what the fuck is that even? It's like, hey, I got bad news.

We couldn't rent the hall for the wedding, so it's between the Chuck E. Cheese and the Dave and Buster. That's where we have to have the wedding. That's plan B. Sorry, honey. We couldn't get that magician you wanted for your birthday, so it's between a homeless man and his dog

or a cardboard cut out of Mario Lopez. Okay, so you know how you want to get Katie Perry for the bar mitzvah? We couldn't do it But have you ever heard of this entertainer named Carrot Top? He's hilarious You're going to love him Plan B Honey, I couldn't find the diamond earrings you wanted

So she opens the box I just took a shit in this Tiffany's box Plan B Well, it turns out that the The five guys was closed so I got hit in and out instead. Oh, there it is. Boom!

Yes! East Coast, best coast. In and out blows. Mark Strite. I don't agree with that. Mark Strite goes from the Flyers to the Lightning. The Flyers acquire. Valtteri Fulupila.

The fourth round pick in 2017, a conditional seventh round pick in 2017. Now, here's names that you guys might know, which is very exciting, obviously, for this part of the show. Biggest name. of the day. Now, I got to tell you, man, like, Eisenman getting that $5 million hit off his cap for next season is pretty dope because Philpola had trade protection. And, like, to be able to pull this off was pretty impressive. And now they can protect Coulorne or whoever they thought was their last forward. And it's pretty good. And also, but more to the

point. Re-sign. Yeah. Try to resign Drew Ann, Polat Johnson. Johnson, yeah. I mean, I don't think they're going to re-sign Johnson. Booty. But, like, but, like, as you just noted, Like, they passed this problem, this contract that you have to protect because he has a new move clause. They transferred that to the Flyers. Now, I'm a little torn on this for the Flyers. I know a lot of Flyers fans are like, fuck all this shit today. I don't get their, tell me their, tell me their side of it. Like, what's their, the Flyer side of it?

Yeah, like, what are they? Well, the Flyer side of it is that they needed a second line center. They needed to kick Coturier down to the third line. Why? Because they, he wasn't producing. Yeah, but I mean, eh. So they pick up Fupola. Philpola, they're going to play him with Voracek, they're going to see if they have any chemistry.

I don't like the hit, and I don't like the fact that you have to protect this contract, because now it means that there's going to be somebody from that forward group exposed next year. They have too many guys they have to protect next year. What does Philpola through? Two more years? Not one. This year and the next year, yeah. So from that perspective, it doesn't make sense.

But I don't hate it from a hockey perspective, because I think he's better than his numbers this year, and I think you can help but I also acknowledge the fact that it's a problematic deal from a cap perspective and an expansion draft perspective but then also

like if you're Tampa like why would you flip stright oh you're talking about this next deal in which the Pittsburgh Penguins acquire Mark Strite for a 2018 fourth round pick from the Tampa Bay Lightning

now why do they do that like why not just ride out straight like what do you need the fourth round pick for no that's a good point because you know They were in on Chattonkirk trying to acquire a mobile defenseman.

Great, and Strite's fine enough for the rest of the season if you want to just take a show. Well, you know why. No, I don't. Because the penguins and flyers can't trade with one another. They're like teenagers. It's like a devil-ranger train. I pointed this out before. Steve Eisenman laundered Mark Strite from the flyers to the penguins.

And what would be amazing, because I'm pretty sure this is probably the case, right? Like, the flyers probably had no idea. Oh, by the way, where are the penguins at? wise now with all these guys. Well, getting rid of fear opened up like two million. But like, are they going to be... They're tight. They're very, very tight.

Look, I'll say. My point is, is just, oh, Jesus. They're basically capped out. I mean, according to cap-friendly, current cap space is zero. So, right, so does that mean they're in a situation where they're going to do with the Blackhawks? They're with Kane, where they're going to wait to activate Mata and Delhi and then have all those guys? Completely.

But the... And Shiri. Yeah. If he's, yeah. Shiri, well, Shiri's coming back. Yeah. Probably this week. Maybe even tonight.

How? They don't got the money. Well, have they put those? Oh, Rust is also on IR, I think, too. But have they put, have they put their defensemen on long-term IR yet? Just, according to cap-friendly, just daily, not Mata. Yeah, so they'll put Mada on. And he'll free up enough money again, both out.

He's supposed to be back a meet. Point point being is that they're going to be able to do exactly that the Blackhawks did and manage their cap that way. But they're doing it with defensemen as opposed to, like, getting a scoring forward. Well, no, I was going to say, like, is Ron Hextall privy to the fact that the penguins are the end result in this trade? Does Steve Iserman have to, because I don't know.

No way, he knows. I never played the game. No way. You don't think Eisenman has to be like, by the way? I've seen Moneyball eight times, so I think I know how a trade works based on what Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill show. How pissed off is Hextall then? How pissed off is Hextall?

Like when he's watching DSN, he's like, uh, now the lightning I've made a deal. Mark Strite, former flyer, going to the penguin I think it depends. The winners of the stadium series classic over the Flyers. How many times do the Penguins play the Flyers the rest of the way? Then it probably bothers them when Mark Strait has four points in two games. I figured it was like that scene in Wall Street when Gordon Yecko realizes he's been had

and he just like smash your shit on his desk for a while. That's got to be it, right? I'm picturing Jonah Hill doing the, yes, this pump when they flip them. I get to keep the difference. Iserman calls up fucking Rutherford. Jim Rutherford here. Hey Jim, it's Steve. It's done.

Oh? Steve Iserman. From the Red Wings? No, I'm the general. We just, we literally talked 30 minutes ago about the trade I was doing with the Flyers. Are you still watching Matlock? Oh, the Flyers. We just beat them in the outdoor hoosy.

I know, but I have. I have the package. The what? I have Mark Strite. I traded for Mark Strite and you said you'd trade me something for him. Who? I don't want fruit stripes. I have these worthers.

Mario, this phone is talking to me. This phone is talking to me. P.A. P.A. Prento was traded by the New Jersey Devils to the National Predators for a 2017-6th round pick, aka something. like again. It's just like the life of the Devils fan now. And Prento was with, was he with the Predators or am I confusing him with J.P. Dumont?

Yeah, I think you're confusing him with some other... That's a trade the Islanders could have made, maybe, because they cut him. They cut him. They got a six. Remember the Devils last year? Remember the Devils last year? Got like a second and a third for Stepniak when they did the same thing? Yeah. I mean, eventually this might all come to roost and they can actually ice a decent team again, but

maybe not. Yeah, it's kind of sad, at this point, they should just trade Corey Schneider. Like, they're just going to waste. He's almost like the goalie version of Matthew Shane, where by the time the devils get really good anyway, Corey Schneider is going to be like 35 years old, and it's not going to be worth it anymore. He's like, you know, I don't know what would be the comparison,

but, like, he's too good. Like, they need to suck, but he's too good. He's got too much pride. But he's kind of sucked this year. Yeah, a little bit. But he's not been up and good, and they're still basically going to finish in the same spot they did last year. Yeah.

You miss Adam Larson. I don't miss Adam Larson. I like Taylor Hall a lot. Just too bad they don't have anything else on that team. All right. Curtis Lizarre and Mike Kostka. Costco. Go to the Calgary Flames for Scrabble score champion, Yerke Yokopaka, and a 2017 second round pick.

Can Lizarre, hey, everybody, can Lizarre resurrect his career with the Calgary Flames? How Lizar. Oh, Jesus. God. Yeah, that's great. Want to know the rest of this tree? Hey, by the rights. Howellazar.

How does all? Let's never forget that Curtis Lazar, his most famous moment in the NHL is eating a burger that was thrown out of the ice during the whole hand your habit. That's actually incorrect. He ate garbage, obviously. It stopped being a burger. It looks like a full burger. It stops being a burger once it hits the ice. The same way food stops being food once it's in the garbage.

We do things different along the island. Are you, Kstanza? Do you just pull stuff out of the garbage if it's above the rim? I do eat egg clairs as long as we're on the rim and the garbage. It was hovering like an angel. I do eat egg clairs as long as they're above the rim and the garbage. Donald Trump? Who just said that?

Sad. The failing New Jersey double. Eric Fair, Steve Leskey, two former capitals, and a 2017 fourth round pick. Go to the Toronto Maple Leafs from the Pittsburgh Penguins for Frank Corrado. Hey there, Corrado. What's it like in the... That's basically just opening up the space. to bring on strike because

the payments have seen a defenseman go down like every other day it seems for the last couple weeks. So it's going to be a crowded blue line once everyone that's healthy in a couple weeks. You're feeling pretty good about your squad, aren't you? You feel like, it's going to be caps penguins in the second round for the Stanley Cup again. That's hope. That's all it's going to be. Penguins will be Columbus and six.

Actually, I think the caps will win this year because the penguins will have the tougher first round series. Washington's going to just destroy whoever they get in the wild card. And this is their... The caps seriously can't fuck this up this I don't mean like they're not allowed to. Like, it's almost impossible for them to fuck this up.

So I'm curious what will happen if they do screw it up. Like what happens? They'll just be a middling team. No, if the caps grew up? If the caps... They're just that a penguin's in the second round. They have Oshy, Williams, Olsner, all UFA, Orloff and Kuznetsov and Berakowski are all RFA. Obviously, Shatt and Kirk's not coming back.

Chattenk's UFA. So, I mean, the bottom line is that no matter what happens this year, it's going to be remarkably different team than next year. Yeah, they'll plug holes again. Like, they'll find, like, another Justin Williams, but, like, worse guy to plug in on the wing somewhere. They won't get someone as good as T.J. O'Shee. Yeah.

That's why all that all in talk the other day was fucking stupid. Because on the one, yeah, on the one hand, it's like the minute you trade for, the minute you sign Justin Williams, whose sole function in life is the score in the playoffs, you're pretty much all in. And then also, when your entire team's going to explode after the season, yeah, you pretty much all in already. It's just, I don't know. Yeah, but like sometimes when teams get that way, they don't, again, they don't, I don't want to disturb the chemistry.

I don't want to get someone in there that's going to shake things up because we have a good thing going. That's a hockey thing. Also, it gives me the shakes when people say all in because it reminds me of when ESPN used to put poker on instead of hockey all the time. I'm all in. All right, straight, we covered. We only have 20 more of these,

so Drew Stafford to the Boston Bruins for a conditional sixth round pick in 2018. That's a really, I mean, like, I know Drew Stafford's not exactly late in the world, on fire in life. He's bad. But like a 2018 conditional sixth round pick for a guy

you can play in your top 12. Your top 12? He's definitely one of their 13 best fours now. Yeah. It don't cost nothing. Yeah, it's fine. He's fine.

He's a funny dude too, like dry humor. They'll love him in Boston. And he actually has a problem with his skin. It's like a rash. Oh, really? It's a Stafford infection. Oh, my God.

Get out. Wow. What? Well, I mean, just that inside the arena, there's this, like, one place that no one can go except for him, because it's Stafford only. It says it on the door. I don't know if you're aware of this. No, I don't know. But he's a huge Lord of the Rings fan.

Oh, is it? And he actually let Tyler Myers use him as Gandalf's Stafford. Oh, is that right? As part of the costume. I had no idea. Sean, you have anything you want to add? I'm so regretting being part of this podcast now. He got shot that one time, though.

You remember that? Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think there'd be any gunfire, but he drew. He's actually a pretty crazy, like, political guy. Oh, is he really? Yeah, like, he went to a, he actually prevented. What?

Have you heard this? No, I have. Oh, no, I haven't. I haven't, Mr. Lito. Tell me more. Have you had about this? He was at a rally, and people were burning flags, but he wouldn't let him do it, So that earned him the name flag, staff, erred.

Oh, Jesus God. Little known fact. A kid. A kid in the 1960s put his tongue on him because it was freezing. No, no, he's a big Oregon trail player, so he loves the Stafford the River. Holy shit. All right, let's move on to the next year. You know what the good thing about this deal is?

What is that? It only costs them a conditional six, so you can say that this deal was, was, a staff-foratable option. That's so interesting. That's amazing. Did you guys? You should see the wheels turning when he's looking at me. He's like, do I have one more?

No, it's crazy, but like, it's not related to this. It says here that there's a giant protest against the bootmaking industry. It's the lead story on alligator news.com. Which in turn is the lead story on driving a joke into the ground. dot fun Lori Corpacoski is in the league and traded from the ball stars to the Columbus Blue Jack

it's for Dylan Heatherington of Downton Happy I was going to say yeah is Dylan Heatherington like the bad guy on a soap opera somewhere Lori Corpikoski for Dylan Heatherington oh wait till the next trade

you know he's actually really big into oh god damn being no war. He's, he's part of the peace. Korikovsky. Uh, uh,

uh, you know, Dylan, I've heard, I saw Dylan at, at Comic Con, and it was really interesting. He was dressed just like Christian Slater.

Oh, Heatherington, I got it. Corpacchi, he's a, he's, his laurels. His laurels.

He's actually into CrossFit. He's into keeping the core Picosky tight. The Chicago Blackhawks. Oh, Jesus. Acquired Kenton Helgeson. Is that Dylan Hetherington's butt? Wait, there's more than one Helgeson in the NHL? The third.

And a 2019 seventh round pick, I say right now that we are not, You cannot prove to me there will be a seventh round in the 2019 draft. There's every chance that they'll reduce it to six. Stan Bowman's going to kick and scream if that doesn't happen. For Sam Carrick and Spencer Abbott, two guys that I've heard of. I've definitely heard of Sam Carrick. He goes to the ducks, by the way. Sam Carrick.

Yeah, I've got a lot to say about this trade. I can tell. Yeah, he's one of those guys you want in your locker room because, yeah, he's a good, good, honest player. He's a high-caric, turi guy. Guy. Gonna help out there. This is part of the show's offer Jonah Carey, by the way, who's just going to sit here and soak up puns for 20 minutes.

All right. I have really good news. We're done. One more. We've reached the final trade of the 2017 National Hockey League trade deadline. 128. 128. Oh, he's still got to do mail.

He's got to do a listener. It occurs to me this might be our single most hockey-centric episode, by the way. Well, the last 30 minutes, we'll just talk about John, John Witton. Wigan Road 1 and compare the two. The Florida Panthers and the New Jersey Devils complete a trade. The Panthers trade Shane Harper to the Devils and the Devils trade. A guy who both Dave Lozo and Sean Leahy goffawed at this name earlier. Do we?

Reese Scarlett. Oh, Reese Scarlet. Right, right. He was, he's actually the, the basis for the novel, Shropshire Love, the British love story. where what you've you've you've read these books where he's um he's he's a dashing um habadasher is that the answer dashing habadish it's weird like that like that's his nickname in old shopshire and uh you know he's just out for love and you know he's just a single man he's a widow widower and um he just wants to

find a woman that will love him the way he loves his horses it's crazy i don't know if you heard this about this guy but like um he was at a dwayne reed one day and there was a robbery and the guy robbing the Dwayne Reed just started throwing peanut butter cups at him. One of them hit him in the face and he has a Reese's scarlet. Wow. So like the edge caught him. Yeah, the edge caught him, right?

The perforated edge. Shane scored a goal once off of his butt and the headline the next day it was Harper's Bizarre. Well. Jesus Christ. You know, you know, Reese, Rees Scarlet, but he's an alternate captain. See, I went a different angle to go in.

Just let the listener get there. So that was the NHL trade deadline 2017. Great job. We now move on to the part of the show in which we answer your questions. There can't possibly be a question that we haven't covered already. Puck Patti.

My boy. Puck Patti. Wants to know. Ask Leahy, who's better. Johnny Walters or Shane Long. That's a soccer question. He'll know. Me and Puck Pagher, Ireland, boys.

Are any of those guys on Leicester City? No. I heard Leicester City fired their coach. They did, Claudia. Is that true? Is that true? American soccer fan who knowledge for the soccer? They didn't fire them.

They sacked them. Oh, is that right? Right. You see, Leichester City had a wee nipper trouble this year, love. They only won nine matches. So they had to go in there and sack their manager. It's not a coach. It's a manager.

Yeah. And that manager's name is Francesco. Choccarvally. Gloria Rennary. Right, that's what I said. Don't interrupt me. Sorry, mate. It's all right, governor.

So I'm up in Rochester City, wheels around next year after relegation and has a nice good spotter see next year. Love. No, Champions League, I? Love, love. The champions governor is already up in the Swampshire.

So from what I gather, the Swampshire. Laken City, fired Francesco Rinaldi And now they'd been relegated Getting there That's actually the plot to underworld six Funny

You're, oh, that's so beautiful Because I was thinking a lichen In the class of like fungus and moss But you went with a lichen As in a werewolf from underworld Right It made me think of what's your name from that movie It's the wall between the vampires and the lichens

It's a rebellion All Rebell And then Bill Nye comes out and dances for the guitar covering up his naked wolf penis. He's a vampire. He was a vampire. I could help but realize at the end of the day

that I love you, werewolf, and you might be the only werewolf in life that I do love. Fuck Elton, we're going to open up this wine here. Listen here, kids.

Because it's Christmas. Listen here, kids. Don't suck blood. Become a vampire and you get it for free. I feel it in my Fangers I feel it in my toes

Wow that's really good Being a vampire is forever Unless the steak Goes In my heart So the best part about this bit Is that I can't tell Clayhey's never seen love actually

Or if he just doesn't remember love actually You don't bring me on a podcast to talk pop culture What's the last What's the last movie you saw in the theaters? Oh, I just... What was it? Tokyo Drift. Batman versus Superman.

Oh, my God. So you were like, that's the worst movie I've ever seen, and I'm not going to go see a movie ever. I didn't think it was as bad as the reviews were. I just thought it was silly that, you know, the whole Martha bit was... I was kind of ridiculous. I wish I saw that in the theater just so I could have grown with other people besides myself on the couch. Wait, that sounds pervary.

That does sound very pervert. Bones, not grown them. Enven Selly wants to know which Simpsons or Friends episode will represent the deadline this year. Here, let me help. A Lisa episode. Hmm. Are those bad?

Isn't Elisa episode? That was the one. Hold on. Hold on. That was a good one. There are a few Lisa episodes. There's a few Lisa episodes that are worth a damn. For example, the vegetarian one.

It's so good. It's so good. It's a nerd. But also. Yeah, the pig, the pig, I'll donate that money when pigs fly or whatever. Right, but also the Bleeding Gobs Murphy ones were also like least episodes and that's what I was kind of referring to. Okay, so that means the worst friend's episode possible is the one with, where they sing sermix a lot to the baby. Remember that one?

No. Probably for good reason. It was really fucking bad because Ross is singing, baby got back to get the kid to sleep. Rachel walks in and is mad about it. It's a fucking seven day old and she's mad about him singing, baby got back and that's the whole episode that that's a storyline for 30 minutes Nova hope wants to know thoughts on the TV show billions I'm really enjoying this it's actually excellently written I my only thought of the TV show billions is that

Damien Lewis has probably my favorite British guy doing an American accent thing does he better than Jew law and the young Pope Damien Lewis as an American but I can only do it in the context of homeland I'm a soldier I I came back here I just want to be with my family what is

do you do a young pope no I people people get mad at Jew Law's American accent I think it's fine like I get it it's not perfect because he's brink and he does the same accent on billions because I've seen the ads

where he's just like I'm a billionaire no it's like it's like you know it's it's like oh I remember the quote now it's from season one what's the sense of having fuck you money if you can't say fuck you come on that's not that's excellently written this person that is that that is that is first season of billions is that was the ad they used oh i gotta start

pitching more shows man i get this here's the here's my idea trillions it's about even richer people doing crazy things um so the question that we have here is uh from tim piet why can't we have a whole episode of bridge impressions just assuming you aren't doing it for standard's sake. Bridge? Oh, Bridge. Bridge. Bridge. Ghaloff. Well, listen, because it would get tedious. Yeah, you got to mix it up. But more to the point, though, I do want to play this now

from the trade deadline. As you know, Ilya Bridge Ghaloff was on Sportsnet. I mean, you're going to choose your, you know, viewing based on habit and whatever. But I do want to play this. This is Ilya Brejeebreege Ghalov coaxed by Jeff Merrick to talk about aliens on Sportsnet. Give a listen. Before we give you a chance to ask anyone on the panel a question, I do have one final one for you. Do you believe that aliens walk amongst us? Oh, for sure. This is...

I'm with you. And I tell you a secret, you know, it's insider information. Okay. They discovered the new seven planets right now, and they detected it's a seven, but inside their information, some of the aliens wave us back. They said this a message. Really? Yep, inside information from NASA. Deep inside.

Okay, Elliot, your chance to ask you. All right, that's all I don't want to play the rest of it. I wish I would have kept going. I know. He was amazing on SportsNet. How do you interview a guy and have him to say, yes, there's aliens on another planet? There's something secret signals back to us and go, all right, let's move on and talk about it. Let's think about it.

It's like, let's spend Andrew Ghetto a little more. Curtis Lazzar trade. No, you're right. And the other thing that SportsNet did was they had someone kind of following Bridge Gala for the day and like quoting the things. things he was saying behind the scenes. So, like, at one point, there was a tweet where they're like, they're like, Brjkhalov just said this.

So is chicken meat? Like, to me, it's like, I don't care what TSN's doing at that point. You won the trade deadline. That's it. You did the thing. Congratulations to Jay and Dan going back to TSN and all, but. But, oh boy. Boy, you can't top that.

Can't top that. All right, a couple more real quick. What food could you absolutely not eat, even if offered decent money, say, $500? Is there one food that you couldn't stun him? stomach eating. I would... Is mayonnaise of food? Yeah, it is.

I mean, yeah. Wait, hold on. Does that mean you don't eat like tuna salad, chicken salad, that kind of shit? Really? I don't think we've learned this about you. I'm okay with mayo if it's like a Chipotle mayo or like mayo mixed with milk. They get like an aoli.

Yes, that's fine. But like straight mayo. Like, I used to go to the Wendy's on 46 by the NHL office and I would get a spicy chicken sandwich, no mayo. I always said no mayo. And like one of every four times there be mayo on the sandwich. So at that point, I would just have an open-faced Spicy chicken sandwich

I wouldn't eat the top bun It's gross It would have to be a dish that's really sort of like Maybe like a Greek dish that's very tomato forward But like not You don't, they haven't cooked the acidity out of the tomatoes Like something that's like really like If you just like a fucking bowl of tomatoes

That were just acid and there's like seeds and shit I don't think I could eat Yeah like everything I can think of would be like Mayo based like chicken salad tuna so I can't like We've talked about this, but like barbecues. People leave that shit out like on the table somewhere. There's like flies. The sun's being out of it.

I'm not even like this is a really nice question, but Leahy can't participate because motherfucker's the pickiest eater I've ever met. Kohl'slaw. Ah, that's gross. I agree. I can eat fish. Yeah. I can get through the smell.

But I can't get through the smell of Kolsla. Hmm. You're a regular Jordy Ben over here. Oh, Jesus. Where have you guys been? And I don't know how it is around the country, but on Long Island. at every diner, like a Greek diner. It's mandatory.

They got to give you the little dish of coleslaw. And it just sits there looking at me, smelling, getting in my nostrils or ruining my meal. I sometimes I have to give it back to the waiter or the bus boy. Or I just kind of hide it on the side amongst 15 seconds. You could just tell them hold the coleslaw to you. You could. I mean, you don't have to take it in your hand and put it in the pot and plant next to your table.

You're afraid, like, if you say hold the coleslaw like the guy in the back sitting like pissing your food. He's going to storm out of the kitchen. to be like, this is my art, okay? This is my art. This isn't food. I'm putting art on your plate. Just fucking stare at it. God.

Stephanie Michelle. It's a Jordan Bend. Oh, there it is. Don't stare at it. Eat it. Stephanie Michelle wants to know, is Neapal and ice cream one flavor or three separate flavors? Three. One.

Oh. I'll be the voice of dissent here. That's a shortcut. I'll be Antonin Scalia here. It makes no sense. mutton, it must be one. Mutton is not ice cream. Push them together.

Swirl them up. They are together. No, they're in three separate little things. Right, and it's called Neapolitan ice cream. It's three different... That's like saying cookie dough ice cream isn't one ice cream because it has cookie dough and chips in it. You know what? It's not anything like that at all. Vanilla and chocolate by themselves.

That's like St. Rocky Rose is not. It's like five different ice creamers. It has like marshmallow and nuts and China. Neapolitans. Neapolitan is the definition of Neapolitan. Look it up. Everybody says it's three different ice creams. in one container.

Right, but Neapal, it's the name of the three ice creams together. It has a name for those three things together. It's three flavors. She's asking if it's one ice cream flavor. Like when you go to fucking

asking Robbins if it's one of the flavors. No, but they don't make that a flavor. It's very much, it's one, it's that's a flavor. It's not three separate ice cream. It was three separate ice creams. They would call it vanilla chocolate and strawberry. You ever get a mixed plate at a barbecue place?

Yeah. That's three separate food. That's three separate meats, right? It's not one thing. A mixed plate is three. Right, but that's why they call it a mixed plate. Right. They don't call it like meat.

Would you say a mixed plate is one thing or would you say it's three things? I would say it's three separate things because it's a mixed plate. It's not neapodon. No further questions, Your Honor. Oh my God. Stephanie, don't listen to him. You're out of order and you're out of order. This whole podcast is out of order and finally.

We got our poll question for the Twitter account is at least. Yeah, that's a good one. Finally, Corey Welterlick wants to know. Corey does what? Good for him. Corey Dubb on Twitter wants to know. On the Welts, too, huh? Who are your final four now that the trade deadline has passed?

I assume he means your Eastern Conference finalists and your Western Conference finalists. And I'll go first to give you guys ample time to think. That one team I'm not sure about it. My finalists are the Washington Capitals. Correct. And the New York Hockey Rangers. Oh, so you think they're going to cross over?

They're going to cross over and beat the shit out of the Atlantic. And then in the Western Conference, my picks are the Nashville Predators and the San Jose Sharks. Yeah, that was going to be my West, too. I'll change up from the East. I like Washington. Same in the West from me.

How about Florida? You're picking a team that's not even in the postseason. That's ball of it. There's 20 games left. They're playing well. He got Barkov and Huberdota back. I literally wouldn't pick a team for this exercise that wasn't like 20 points up

above the bubble right now. Look, Corey's asking the football. Lori is asking the final four. I'm impressed. I'm just saying I'm impressed. But the Atlantic is such a dog-shit situation where almost any... Like, Ottawa can miss the playoffs, and they're in second place in their division. I'm going to say Nashville, San Jose, Washington, Boston.

Wow. Well, that's the show, man. This is a real hockey... If you're one of these people that listen to Puck Soup and your leg, I'm so tired of them talking about Rogue One and Pizza Toppings and Lozo's dick. Like, this is... Oh, by the way. No. No, I got nothing.

All right. This is your episode, man. This is the most hockey you're probably going to get out of this show outside of, like, the draft. Oh, no, I do have a dick-related thing. Here, we'll say goodbye and wrap it up. Hold on.

Oh, yeah. I'm Greg Wachinsky. If you guys, sports puck-dadi blog, you can read me on Twitter at Wichinsky, W-S-Y-S-H-Y-N-S-K-I. You can buy, take your eye off the puck,

my book. And then also the 100 greatest players in NHL History and other stuff, the book that Lozo and me down goes brown rot or lot and um and uh yeah sean i'm sean lehi also of yaw ho's sports puck daddy blog and i'm one of wushinsky's nine terrible impressions um i haven't written any books but i read a lot so i'm dave lozo i get red when i go to the beach too i am well read i'm well read in the shade so this is kind of dick related but not really i'm having a problem with my jeans and

if anyone out there has a solution for this or can explain why it's happening, it seems like if I walk a block, my fly goes down. Like, I'm not, I'm not overweight. I'm not wearing pants where, like, stuff's pushing against stuff and causing the zipper to go down. Like, I can't walk a block anymore without, like, suddenly feeling a breeze. And in the winter, it's okay, because you had a winter coat on. No one can see anything.

But, like, now it's getting warm out. Like, I need to have my fly up when I'm walking around. So does anyone have a solution? or a cause for that. I'd love to hear it. It could, I mean, I have one. I don't know if it's applicable or not. I would probably suggest that you stop taking your dick out at strangers.

But then how else do I get it out? Over the button? That's insane, Greg. Oh, seriously, this is annoying. Like, every time I walk, I get a zip-up. The zipper is working its way down as you walk, is what you're trying to say. Yes. Like, I'll stand up.

Let me look right now. See, like, right now, totally up. But, like, it's kind of like, it's kind of like. It's kind of. kind of like coming down a little bit? Dave, we just met. Have you considered the buttonfly? I don't know if I ever owned buttonfly genes in the 90s.

I think I wanted to, but I never got them. Have you considered that maybe... Oh, I know what it is. A ghost is seducing you at all times. Like I'm walking down the street and some hot lady ghost is just like touching a leader. Yeah, a lady ghost. You're right. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, I don't know. It's a mystery. Because, like, I don't want to go buy new jeans. I don't want to have to pay. How many pairs of jeans do you own? Currently, I have four in the rotation, and the fourth pair I have also has this issue, but not as strongly as the others.

What is the youngest birth date of any of these genes? I bought the three of them very recently, like a month ago. Oh, interesting. So I don't know. So the genes that are being affected by the zipper issue are new? These jeans that I'm wearing, people are hooked and they can't stop staring. Because my fly's always down,

I don't know why. And the thing is, too, when your flies down, you're constantly pulling your fly up. And people are like, why does this guy keep zipping up his fly? What was he doing right before that? And will he please stop? If I may ask one last question, but how do you get all that ass inside them jeans? Is it because you're going to make me scream? Make me scream, make me scream?

Is that a Neil Diamond song? No, that's actually the black-eyed peas. But the fact that you confused Neil Diamond, the black-eyed peas... I didn't think it was really Neil Diamond. Let's get it started. Let's get it started in here. And by that, I mean, take your pants off. Forever in blue jeans that don't want to have the fly stay up, baby.

How come everybody comes around by London, London Bridge, going to go down? Much like my zipper. Yeah, I don't know. It's a problem. But that's it. What are we at? Like two hours and 19 minutes. Fergalicious.

Sweet. Open fly Ew gross stop Put away your underwear So gross So gross, so gross So gross All right, see ya

Bye everybody Now leaving Nurtist.com