Puck Soup - Big Fat Summer Hangover

Episode Date: September 4, 2018

Greg and Dave return to discuss NHL happenings since the last episode, the return of Martin Brodeur to the Devils and our most fascinating teams of the 2018-19 season. Sponsored by Robinhood.

Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. But we also cover movies, TV shows, it's in tunes. It's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense. Puck Sue. I'm Greg Wischinski of ESPN. Yeah, me too. Dave Lozo, same company.

That's right. It's pretty weird still. Me too. And you're in Puck Soup. So this is sort of a premature souping. We're weeks away from training camp, even more weeks away from the regular season. Actually, we're, yeah, two weeks from training camp, right? But the calendar is turned, and so we felt the need, the compelling need to do another show that wasn't behind the Patreon paywall.

Right, this is free again. For the people. Oh, for the people. I was born in the podcast. You barely downloaded it. I was born behind the paywall. I can't do the voice. I wrote a thing for ESPN this week that was about over-unders on teams and how well I thought they would do.

Under. Yeah, comparing it to the boveta odds or whatever. Over. And it went behind the paywall because ESPN policy is that if you write about gambling, then it goes onto the ESPN Plus insider, what have you. And so then that started a torrent of complaints of, When did you just write for the athletic? As if Insider Has a bit of thing for like 50 years.

Forever! What I would go read like customs of shit before he went to the athletic? I'd be like, oh, this sounds so interesting. What five anonymous GMs say about this dude's dick or whatever? And like then go there and it's like, you can't read it because of it.

So I understand what I'm trying to say is I understand the palpable disappointment in going to read something of mine that isn't there because it's fine. I've done that. Like I've clicked on things. I've been like, oh, let me read the story. And I'm like, oh, Insider.

Right. And like, we both work there. And I think we both have insider passwords. I think I have my, might have it. But here's the thing. My commercial is that the ESPN Plus thing that used to be insider will now have NHL games this year. We're going to have a game in night.

What's that going to be on? It's going to be on plus. Like you if you go to the app. ESPN Plus, interesting. That's a great platform. You know, I think also on that platform, you could probably watch other things. but the one thing I'm excited about is that we get to pick the games. So it's like the meeting that we had about it was like, hey, you know, hey, you get to pick the games.

I'm like, oh, some of the words, John Tavares has returned to Long Island as a leaf. We could have that on ESM Plus. They're like, yeah, I'm like, okay, because it's not fucking on NBC. Who picks the games? Do you get, involved in the picking games? Oh, my God. Do I get to pick the games? I mean, I don't know. They're just like, hey, Greg, we're down to these three.

Which one would you want to watch? Is that happened? I'm like, devil's flyers, of course. And for the 15th week in a row, we've got three Devils games in the SBM Plus. Subscriptions are way down and we can't figure out why. They're like, Greg, we haven't seen a goal scored in five weeks. I'm like, oh, shit. Yeah, but don't you know, Marty works for the Devils again.

Isn't that great? So, all right. Why did you make a noise? Because this is obviously something where a lot, a lot of people feel like this is a conquering hero coming home again. But he's working in the front office. He's just a dude in his suit now. He's not playing. That's just that he's not even, he's not technically, when you say front office,

people are listening to player personnel, but the thing about this was like, he went back and- He doesn't have a business degree. He doesn't, like Luke Robatai got that job, I guess, with no experience. He's been pretty good at it. But, I mean, I don't know, it's just weird. It's weird that fans just care so much. Like, if Martin, let's say Martin Bredor didn't go to work for the Blues. Let's say he went to work for like, I don't know, like, like, he went into, like, politics.

Or he went to, like, movies or something. And, like, you would go into a devil's game. Does it really make you feel. better knowing that like Marty was in the building earlier, like pitching and quiet on devil stuff? It's like if you were a Chicago Bulls fan and like Scotty Pippen came back as like a peanut vendor at a game, you're like back where he belongs. Like if he was like in baseball it happens a lot where like ex players come back and manage like that I get because like they're on the field. You see them every game. Yeah.

But it's all. But like Marty Brunner was on the bench. Like let's say he was like an assistant coach. They're like, oh, that's cool. He panned to the bench. You get to see Marty on the bench. It's like all times. You're never going to see him.

He's not a GM or an assistant GM? Like Scott, like it was a visceral thrill to see Scott Stevens as a coach for the devils, albeit briefly. Yeah, like any ex-player on the bench I get, Rod Rendemore and Carolina, that's got to be cool. Is it going to be cool? It's going to be cool until it's not cool anymore. But like that I get.

Like, there's no other sport where like dudes come back and they're just like, they have like, I don't want to say it's like a token for like front office job. It's a token front office job. But like it kind of is. Listen, listen. Maybe he develops business. Who knows? I don't know. There are varying degrees of token front office jobs.

Number 10 out of 10, on a scale of 1 to 10, the apex of token front office jobs is team ambassador. Yeah, team ambassador. The Chicago Blackcogs given out jobs that everybody who used to play for them that used to hate Bill Warts. They're like, we'll pay you to not hate the team anymore. Basically. That's the apex of this. If that's a 10 and then what- But that job involves mingling with fans.

Right. Marty Bordor doesn't have to Mingle with it. No, but Marty Bordor is going to do something. He's going to mingle with businesses. That's the thing. The guys that are like, oh, I want to do business with the devils. And they're like, oh, fucking Marty, go meet with Chico's Balbonds and Patterson.

Like, they totally want to advertise on the boards. Like, that's what his job's going to be. That's at least what I thought it was going to be. But if you're Luke Robatai, though, you're in L.A., like Hollywood actors. Yeah, you're meeting. Yeah, you're meeting, like, Jerry Bruckheimer and shit. Marty's going to be meeting with like... Marty's going to meet with like Jersey subs people.

Like, what's he going to do? That's not exciting. Hey, I just wanted to tell you. I was a big fan back in the day. The way you played goals, stop on them bucks, win all their cups. He's just like, wait, so like submarines? Like, what's the... Oh, sandwiches?

Maybe you can sell sandwiches at the game. I'm Marty Brodor. Can you autograph this bag of lays salt and vinegar for my kids? Like, he's the greatest goaltender of all time. Now he's got to like glad ham with people to get them to do business. this with the devils? That's so weird. So I would say that if 10 is a Chicago Blackhawks ambassador and one is like a coach, this is probably a six and a half. Like more towards.

More towards ambassador. That's fair. That's a fair number. I think the thing that hasn't been discussed enough, though, is like he was on track to be, like, he was the assistant GM in St. Louis. Everybody was like, oh, man, what a brilliant hockey mind. What a great front-facing talent to use the words of Richard Dight. to be, and I felt like he was, I felt like there was a reasonably good chance. I would say maybe not, like, maybe like a 40% chance that when Mark Bergevan gets fired,

Marty Bordor had a chance to become GM of the Habs. Like, I really thought that was a possibility based on his track. And it's clear he doesn't want to be that guy, which is fine. But like, he's made so much money that, like, has he, though? Because he used to take some shitty contracts. Yeah, but like, Errol, Lottie. if we want to sign Niedemeyer, you're going to have

to take pennies on the dollar. Dude, I would love to go back and look at all those teams post-lockout that he took lesser contracts for it to sign Vladimir Malikoff, like all these dudes that never worked out. And it's hilarious because, like, it was always a thing where, like, the Red Wings payroll was like basically like a baseball luxury tax payroll.

It's like they're signing. The team had fucking whole Eisenman-Federov Robita. Like, you know, in modern day dollars. It was like a $150 million payroll. Meanwhile, the devils were like Ad Ra, Monty, you gotta take $2 million against the cap in order for

to build this team. We can't lose Brian Rofoski. Well, he was good. That's a bad example. But yeah, I I mean, if he wants to be back here, his family's here and stuff, I guess, you know, go crazy. But it's just weird how excited like all the media people were. My timeline was littered with it.

Like, oh, oh, oh, was he the new eight, oh, he's the, it was like Billy Madison. He chooses business development. Like, okay. I was also a big fan of the fact that, like, people were like, oh, great, another unqualified guy gets a job. And I'm like, be that as it may.

Yeah. The, the job interview in which someone says, so, Mr. Bador, just wondering about your qualifications for this job. And he's like, yeah, there's a statue of me outside. That's, that's me right there. I'm on that statue. Do you think he does that like, when he meets people now? I was like, hey, I like you to bring.

Hey, Jimmy from Verizon. I like you to come by and meet with him. Like, he goes outside. He's like, this is the arena. Right. This is the practice facility. And this is a, oh, that's a statue of me. Oh, my God.

And it's not to diminish the fact that, yes, very unqualified men always get jobs over women. This is a fact. Without question, it is a fucking patriarchy and it sucks. However, the man has a statue outside of the building. Right. It's not like they're bringing back Mike Dunham. You know, they're bringing back Marty Broder.

I can totally see the angle how Marty could bring business to the devil. So if he's happy, he's happy. Good for you. There you go. So Marty Birddor. There you go. There's the best. In doing this sort of early September show, we were trying to think about what to talk about.

There's a few things you want to touch on. Henrik Zetterberg, his back is all bad. It's a bad deal. He's got a bad back. And by all accounts, there's a chance he might not play this season. If he doesn't play this season, probably not to play. He's not going to play ever again. Now, we know this.

This is the thing, as you know. Tell me the thing. The year is 2018-19. Henrik Zetterberg signed a 12-year contract. As you know, it kicked into the 2009-2010 season. It's curious that this may be his final year because his total salary drops from $7 million to $3.35 million. I mean, it is almost as if this season was like, hey, Bucco, when you are... Hey, Bucco.

When you are 37 in a row, when you are 37 and... Feeling it. I want to pause for a second on Kevin Smith. Got pause. I'm going to get a beard. Kevin Smith is, you know, Jersey. He grew up in a couple towns, like one town over from me. Or maybe two towns over from me.

He had a health scare. He had a health crisis. He had a heart attack. It was really scary. And he's gone on to basically turn his life around. Like he has now dropped an exponential amount of weight. Like he is slim. he has a podcast called Fat Man on Batman.

They're probably going to have to change the name before he is no longer a fat man, although he speaks about Batman, although not on that show. So just scrap the whole name. I'm feeling some pressure. Like, I'm not nearly as fat as Kevin Smith. What are you doing?

I've never had a situation where I never had a situation where I needed to buy two airplane seats, for example. But, you know, I don't want it to be a situation. where I, like a fucking stroke or some shit is the reason why I drop some pounds. So I'm feeling some pressure to know. Oh, I see. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to have a lot of beer tonight while we do this show.

Yeah, I brought beer last week, and it was great. I had three, I had three blue points, and now there's three left in the fridge. Yeah. So, so, so, kudos to Kevin Smith for losing the weight, but I also feel like maybe, you know, his brand has changed. It's a little of saying. Well, I mean, you can't keep on wearing the goddamn hockey jerseysies if you're fucking 100 in 70 pounds. Sure you can. No.

Why not? The whole point of it was like, I'm wearing jeans shorts and hockey jersees. I don't fit in anything else. That was like a fat, the fat man uniform. I feel like he was wearing that for a long time before he got super heavy. You think that's, I think that's just the comfort choice. Yeah, you sure? Again, like Kevin Smith, I'm assuming he carefully is.

He's a multimillioner. Once you get to be like a multimillionaire and you're married and you can just let yourself go. Yeah? Like, yeah, just fucking sweatpants and hockey jerseys all day. Sure. Why not? But yeah, good for him. Good for him for getting him.

So Zeta Berg's going to make $3.35 million this season if he plays, and then his salary drops to $1 million for the next two years of his contract. So once again, much like the Marion Hose's situation, we have a situation in which the contract seems to be structured in a way in which this would be the time when he doesn't play in the National Hockey League anymore. And lobehold, the angels fucking sing, he may not be in that. Now, again, we come back to the basic fact of the host situation, which is that, you know, Marion Hosa had a skin condition, and that sucks, and it's bad.

And Henry Zetterberg has had a bad back for a long time. I remember being an issue back in, like, the Sochi Olympics and shit. You see, yeah, it's not like suddenly he has a bad back. Suddenly, you see. Wow. I know, right? So the references, you pull out of this podcast. I know.

Again, I go back to the fact that you're current, you've got the Netflix. I do. You can chill end the Netflix if you want, as the kids say. And yet your references seem consistently pre-1990. It seems like you're circling around the fact that the other night I watched, To All the Boys I loved before, starring Laura Condor, the daughter of my former boss, Bob Condor. I'm so happy that she had.

She's in that? Yeah. I've seen people tweeting about that. Yeah. But I didn't know what they were tweeting about. Yeah, because he was your boss at NHL.com, right? Yeah. So, Laura Condor, for those that don't know, is the star of To All the Boys I Love Before.

It's a Netflix, a fucking genius of an organization, by the way. releasing a rom-com with an Asian-American actress as the lead the same week, the same fucking day that Crazy Rich Asians came out. So in every article written about Crazy Rich Asians about like the sweeping poll of Asian-Americans in cinema, it's like, oh, and by the way, Netflix also released this gigantic fun rom-com that everybody seems to be into with Asian-American actress to lead. Genius stuff. Now- Was it good? Was it a good movie?

Let me say this about it. First of all, I'm extremely proud of Larcondor because she was cast as Jubilee. in X-Men Apocalypse. They cut the shit out of her role. And although she was really perfect for it and looked great in the Jubilee suit, the outfit that they wore on the X-Men cartoon. I don't even remember her in it.

Because I remember watching it because I knew it was Bob's daughter. I was like, was she in it? She didn't use any powers at all. Like, she was at the mall with them. Like, that was her big role. She went to the mall and saw a movie with them at one point. I don't even remember. Oh, before the building blows up?

Yeah, right. Before the attack on the house. Because, like, they make the reference about how, like, they see her return to the movie to the Jedi and it's like, oh, the third movies always suck, forgetting that this is the fucking sixth movie of the series. She's really good in it.

The boy, who's her love interest, Noah, some or other, is really good in it. But I come back to the fact that romantic comedies used to be movies in which there was a little bit of sexiness, a little bit of dirtiness.

What? When? There was... Dirtiness? That's not a romantic comedy. Fucking clueless. There was always... There's no dirtiness. include, well, I guess the brother-sister thing's kind of weird. And then, and also, like, you know, the fucking, what's her face? The chick that was in 8-mile that's no longer

with us. Britney Murphy? Yeah, Britney Murphy had a little bit of, she was kind of like an edgy little character, right? She was having the sex and shit. So like... I don't remember. So, but my point, there weren't, like, sex scenes. No. There's never sex scenes, but, like, there were movies like she's all that. There were movies that had a little bit more of an edge to

them. They were funnier. They had memorable quotes. It better. seemingly what you're going for. Right. They were better. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my point. My point about to all the boys I love before is that it's fine, but it's completely inert. And it's completely average.

And I think that we are willing to accept average because they don't make these movies anymore. Because Twitter seemed to love it based on the tweets I stuff today. It's insane how much Twitter. I've seen people say they watched it three times in a row. And I watched it once. I'm like, you, I would need a couple weeks before watching it. It's completely inoxious. Like innocuous?

Sure. It's comfort food. And like the thing about it, there's, let me, not to spoil it, there's no spoilers here. There's a, there's a moment in the movie where a sex video hits the internet or something. Sure, the internet. But it's not, you don't, you, Ruby and I spent 10 minutes trying to figure out if there was sex. From all I can tell, it was two people making out, two people that, by the way, were dating. And you know what I was in high school?

Like if two people dated... Oh, this is a high school of romantic. Yeah. If two people are dating and they're caught on video making out or whatever... Yeah, that's not a big deal. It's not a scandal. And this became a scandal. It didn't make any fucking sense to me.

So my point is that our standards are extraordinarily low because they don't make these kinds of movies anymore. So crazy that problem. Like, for example, the example people always give is like if... You're still fired up. If the MCU didn't exist and they made Justice League, people would be like, Justice League is the greatest fucking superhero movie of all time. Because there's no... No, they wouldn't.

There's no basis for comparison. There's other superhero movies. That's an objectively bad movie. I'm just saying that without context, without comparison, then you don't necessarily. Anyway, Henne McZedberg's contract was structured in a sense that he was not going to play this season. It's not a surprise to me that he isn't. What's funny is everyone was tweeting about definitely maybe.

And I was like, that's Brian Reynolds' best movie. And it was like, oh, that's the Oasis album. Everyone was talking about the Oasis album. And I was like, oh, man, that movie's so funny. like Ryan Reynolds is oh oh the Gallagher brothers yeah and that's been Dave and Greg on romcoms on romcoms yeah but yeah the Zedberg thing feels more real than the other ones not like it's suddenly they just were like oh we got to make some shit up this offseason like sneakers sneakers sneakers feels as though that Henrik Zetterberg is that that's not going to stop

this we're throwing a ball for sneakers now but like I I have a lower back thing and my professional sports career ended up when I was like 14 so I can't imagine what like the have a back thing when you have it, your whole professional sports career. So I believe this one. But at the same time, I do wonder if he was making $7 million again. That was not be a thing. And again, that was always my thing with Hose is that like if he was making that money, could he put up with it?

And my answer was always probably yes. But again, not to belittle or diminish what these guys go through. But, you know. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I've become desensitized. to this? Is that not the right word Snakers?

I feel like that I've become numb to this. It's the same thing. But like, I don't know. It's, we all kind of knew this would be the end game for these contracts and now it's happening

and whatever. If you're back hurts, don't play anymore. I don't care. At the time of the contract, it was a good investment. And speaking of good investments. What about good investments, Greg?

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I don't mess with it. Right. Well, why haven't you mess with it? I don't know anything. Like, when I'm going to lose money on gambling, it's going to be on over unders and point spreads. It's not going to be on. What a CEO does. I have no idea what's going on.

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Free stock when you check out Robin Hood, a proud new sponsor of Puck Soup. To answer your question, so it's Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner, Mary Elizabeth, Master Antonio, that one. Then you have the Russell Crow one, which I've only seen parts of. I've never, is it ever been on TV? So why don't we kick Russell Crow out if neither of us had seen it and putting Carrey Lies from, from Robin Hood Man in Tights.

So fuck Mary Kill. I don't. You fuck the cartoon, Fox. I don't remember the Like all the other I mean the plot of Robin It's the same But like I can't picture

I've definitely seen The cartoon Foxman as a kid But I can't remember Like is Friar Tuck like a dragon Or like a Are you mean are they all animals? Yeah Yeah

Friottuck was a big bear Which again is basically Friar Tuck It seems a little bit on the nose His little John Oh someone's a snake right There's a snake Well I think you're thinking of the jungle book

The No Prince John is like a like a A leopard or something something. I thought like, I thought the snake was the, the bad guy. Hey, guess what? The Richard Lewis. We literally both work for Disney. This is great. Oh, was that a Disney cartoon? Robin Hood's a Fox. Okay. Maid Marian is a vixen. I don't know what fuck a vixen is. I think it's a good deer. Little John's a bear. Friar tucks a badger. Sorry. Oh, who's a bear? A little John's a bear?

Uh-huh. Okay. Prince John and King Richard are both lions. Lions. That's a little bit on the nose. And then the sheriff of Nottingham's a wolf. So there's no snake? Yes, Sir Hiss is a snake, but I don't know. Sir Hiss, there's true of the character to Robin. I must have missed in the classic tale of Robin Hood, Sir Hiss. Sir Huss. So, Robin Hood.

What is he talking like, Cobra Commander? He gives like a lisp. Robin Hood. Why's my COVID Commander my Chris Rist? Robin Hood, you will be a victim of my incredible weather machine. Dog, give the money to the people. people. I steal from the rich and give to the poor. Fuck the fox.

Merry, Mary Carrie Elways, because why wouldn't, yeah? And they killed Costner. Yeah. I would kill Costner. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, like, I remember when Alan Rickman died. Like, you know, like a celebrity dies. You go watch your old stuff.

Like, I found, like, a British talk show where some guy does the Alan Rickman perfectly. And they did some sort of bit about how, like, Kevin Costner couldn't do a British accent. Yeah. They were like Robin Lachsley. They were like, he's like Robin Hood if he just got off the plane at Heathrow. So he just, no one, he just didn't do the accent. Who are you? Robin of Laxley.

And then the other thing I remember besides Alan Rickman in that movie is the fact that Christian Slater is Will Scarlett. And at one point when Robin Hood like catapults himself over the castle walls, he goes, fuck me, he cleared it. And I'm like, classic old English talk. That's how they talked back then. Like Fuck me

Clear it Wow He really got jiggy with it Nah nah nah nah nah Nah na na na na na na na Hey Who let these dogs out Right

Your classic mid-90s 1690s Whatever that took place References Mr. Hood All I want to do is zoom A zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom I love the scene

To shake a rump Robin Hood catches him And he goes, no. You're that Robin Hood? No. What's your name? Hiss. Sir Hiss.

I knew there was a snake. I didn't realize it was a completely made-up snake character. But the snake played like a real Robin Hood character. All right. Or a real Robin Hood character. A real Robin Hood character. Based on the documentary of Robinette. All right.

We're really, really early in the preseason. Eric Carlson still hasn't been traded. It's unbelievable. I know. Why? What are we doing? that poor guy. Max Patcheretti Slesma traded, although Alan Walsh recently kind of spoke

out and said, hey, you know, he wants to be in Montreal, which is a telltale sign that he doesn't just trade my guy. No, yeah. He can't get enough of it. Trade him. We wanted to do a thing on this episode where Dave and I

by the way, we recognize a lot of you have been following the Patreon mailbag episodes. I would encourage you to check them out. Yeah, why are you not doing that? For the simple fact that we've done one a week all summer, So they'd been many Puck Soup episodes. So if you want to catch up on our thoughts on scintillating moments like the Jeff Skinner trade and whatnot, they're going to be there.

They traded Jeff Skinner? That's right. That's right. They. I should have said we traded Jeff Skinner? Those bastards traded Jeff Skinner. I am on the Carolina bandwagon. You knew that without even hearing the show.

We wanted to pick three teams apiece that were fascinated by this season. Let's start with you in the Carolina Hurricanes. Why are you fascinated by the hurricanes? I'm always fascinated with the Carolina Hurricanes, but now I'm even more fascinated because I feel like they got better with the Calgary trade. I feel like Scott Darling is going to bounce back because as everyone knows, Patreon subscriber or not, I love Scott Darling. Yeah, and obviously if he doesn't bounce back, they have the magical whimsy of Peter Marazica to bail him out.

It's amazing. They have like a six foot nine, like lumbering, awkward looking goaltender and they have like a five-foot-two guy who's like John Quick, but not as good. Not as good. That's a great balance. And they have, you know, the new owner who I don't like, and I don't like him at all. And they have Rod Brendamore. It's a wildcard.

And you have Tom Dundon who might be in the meetings with Rodbrennimore. They got rid of their coach, who I thought was a bad coach. So I'm always intrigued by Carolina. And now I, I, that division, I feel like he's up for grabs a little bit. The thing I want is for, I mean, listen, I want nothing but the best for Carolina. and our good friend Tom Dundon. But the thing that I want the most is for both Carolina and Calgary to miss the playoffs. So it's basically like the two Spider-Man's pointing at each other meme of hockey.

Poor Elias Linholm. My first fascinating team is the Blues. You know, like... What fascinates you? What fascinates you about the Blues? About the Blues. Where is the real Larry David end? Ryan O'Reilly and Tyler Bozac,

sandwiching, Braden Shen. Really? Yep. Good for them, too. Yeah, it's like a human centipede. With Vladimir Tarasenko, with Jaden Schwartz,

with a pretty good D. I think this movie, I think this team has the potential to be really good. Who's the goalie for that? That's why I'm fascinated by them, my friend. Jake Allen's a headcase.

Jake Allen is your Scott Darling. Jake Allen is better than fucking Scott Darling, first of all. You want to compare a career say percentage? He is tall because I can't do it. right now because I don't want to look it up, but it's close. Jake Allen is, he's kind of like, again, like in the NFL, you always get these

quarterbacks sort of like, no, no, no, no, trust us. This guy is a franchise quarterback. And then he throw, like, he's kind of, are you speaking from experience? I'm speaking like, he's basically the Mark Sanchez of hockey, yes. He, like, they want and hope and they wish that he's going to be a franchise goalie. But the difference this season is that instead of Carter Hutton,

he has Chad Johnson as the backup. And like, if he flakes out and they're, of like, oh, Jake Allen, just stay home for a few days. Get your head clear. Like, they ain't no fucking Carter Hutton there to bail him out anymore. Again, Chad Johnson, he's had some good years. He had a bad year last year. Right. But again, this just adds to the level of fascination. Okay. That's what we're doing, right? Fascinating. Yeah. So you have the hurricanes. You're intrigued by who else? Let's just stay in the east, just to give you the East Coast bias.

And this is kind of, kind of obvious, I think. But the caps. The Capitals. They bought the band back together. They kept the band together after years and years of failing and kind of breaking up the band. Right. And the band conductor has now taken a job in New York. Yeah, he left the Philharmonic to go to Lincoln Center. I'm fascinated by like the potential letdown. I'm fascinated by the idea that like they had Todd Reardon lined up a full year in advance and they're just sticking with it.

What's he going to be like as a head coach? Yeah. I'm fascinated by the White House. Brett Connolly. He's not going, but it's not for politics, Greg. Again, like, I pointed this out. Like, say what you fucking will about Tim Thomas. And I was a Tim Thomas defender. You know, I don't think anybody should go to the fucking White House and be fucking propaganda and a fucking wallpaper for a politician's horseship. But at least he explained, I mean, as Hackneyed and crazy as it was, explained why he didn't go. Like, this whole note, like, Devadee Smith-Pelly, God bless him. Like, on the record said, like, there's some shit that the president did I don't agree with. Right. Like, Brett Colony is like, I don't, I'm just saying it ain't politics.

I don't want to go see the politician. Right. It's not based on politics. Right. It's not. And he actually said, let's leave it at that. I'm like, oh, fantastic white man. You can definitely leave it at that and everybody will be totally fine with it.

You know, like, apparently, Braden Holpey before the year was like, we'll talk about it as a group. And then decided everyone's just, not everyone. but like, Brett Connolly is like, hey. Say we, Tim Thomas, his reasons were fucking

bad shit. Then we all kind of understand what the actual reason was. Yeah. You know, but like, um, at least he gave a reason other than,

like if Tim Thomas didn't show up to the White House of the Bruins and all the Bruins were there with a dicks in their hand and then Tim Thomas wasn't there like, like fucking MVP of the team wasn't there. And he's like, he's like, you know, I just disagree with the politics and I'll leave it at that.

Who's going to be satisfied by that? But now because it's Trump and because we all know the legion of reasons why you wouldn't go to the White House, Brett Collin can be like, I got my reasons and I'll leave it at that. And we're all like, oh, he's definitely got reasons.

And no one needs to be the wiser. It's not that he said that I don't, you just said it, the thing that bothers me is he says it wasn't political. Yeah. Like, it's, it's great. Like, at least just, yeah.

Like, if he had been like, I disagree with Donald Trump's policies and I disagree with him as a whatever he would have said. What are you want to say? Because, like, otherwise now we can just make up stuff. It's like the lower body, upper body injury. Right. You tell me, I can't play.

Why? Upper body injury. Oh, so you were trying to blow yourself and you strained your neck trying to do that. So now you're out because of that. Okay, actually it's my shoulder. I hurt my shoulder. And again, like, and because of that, I will now assign the reason why Brett Collinney is not, Connolly is not going to the White House.

And the reason is that he is insulted that it is called Space Force and not Astro Rangers. I'm going to say it's because he's constantly confused for Kevin Connolly and he doesn't want to go there. I'm talking about entourage. Right, he hates it for two and a half hours. Big fan. Big fan E.

What's that Adrian Grenier? Like, again, I'm not. It's a different hockey. I forget it. I think there's zero chance that he gets confused for Kevin Conno. But I'm fascinated by all of it. All of it. It's going to be, because like, they've,

obviously, whenever a team wins the Stanley Cup, the next season's always kind of weird. No one repeats except for the penguins, basically, the last 10 years. And now I'm interested to see what a, like, Ovechkin's finally done it. He's spent all summer boozing and pushing up and, and now he's got a baby. Yeah. Like, I want to see like Ovechkin like, opening night. Crowds going crazy.

He's on the wing, stick down for the face off, and he just falls asleep on the ice. Just face plants. I have had all the vodka and I will baptize baby in every public fountain in D.C. I must admit, I continue to confuse vodka bottle and formula. I need to make sure, double check. I put formula on wrist and I lick and it's vodka, and I got to go, no, not for a baby. What if Vladimir Putin give the Ovechkins for the baby's birth? Peatate.

P tape. Introducing pee tape, the tape that keeps you protective from your child's pee. I guess I'm hit the table. I'm sorry. People complained. When Greg makes me laugh, I want to go. The Panthers, as you know, this is if you've been listening to the Patreon, you understand that the Panthers have fascinated me in a big way.

I think they're a hundred-point team. I think this is the year they break through. Aaron Portsline keeps on talking about how Artemey Pannarin and the Panthers seem like they're a good fit for a trade. That intrigues me. I like the goaltending. I think Roberto's got one more great year in them. And again, like the Panthers have been over 100 points once in their franchise's history.

and they've been to the playoffs twice since, I don't know, the Star Wars prequels. So, like, I feel like it's time. Once or twice? Twice. I think it's once, right?

Since the Star Wars prequels? They went in 20? Didn't they get in in the early 2000s? Like one of them, Bury years? I thought, didn't they have the drought until they got to the Devils?

Hang on. In 2012? Oh, wait. No, they made it three times then because they, remember they lost the Islanders? Hang on. Oh, right. I forgot about that.

They got screwed in the island. 99, 2000. and they made the quarterfinals, and then they made it in 2012, then they made it in 2016. So three times since the fan of us. I forgot about $99,000. That's fair.

That's fair. Okay. So I'm hoping for the best for them, that's my point. And that beautiful 45-year-old defenseman Aaron Neckbled. He's no way he's a child. No one can grow a beard like that.

I'm just jealous of anyone that can grow hair. Good for him. Who's your last team? You're fascinated by it. It's Greg's favorite team, the Edmonton Oilers. All right, all right. Because if I remember correctly as I pick up my phone and then I hit this tab button to get off the baseball game, then I'm kind of paying attention to it. The Edmonton Oilers last year, one year removed from a trip to the conference semifinals, correct?

They lost the Ducks in seven. They threw up a 78 point season, and it wasn't because Connor McDavid was out for three months. They're bad. They're just a bad hockey club. And their plan this offseason seems to be Tobias Reeder. Yeah, they don't really improve the goal scoring per se. They didn't really do much. No, they did not.

Which is the kind of thing you do when you're the caps and you win the cup and you're just like, eh, let's bring everybody back. And the others were kind of like, let's bring everybody back. And I, I, it's a, it's fascinating because they feel like the fix is internal. Mm-hmm. And I don't know if it. It is, and maybe the year before was the fluke as opposed to last year. And I'm kind of interested to see, and again, it's hockey.

Hockey is so much luck, you know? You can win 11 in a row just based on one goal games and getting bounces. Maybe it works out. But I'm really curious to see what happens, especially in that division because Vegas and the ducks are getting older and the coyotes are kind of trying around. I'm just, like, I feel like the Oilers can finish with anywhere between 105. points and 65 points. And I wouldn't really be too surprised by either one. And I'm, as we said in the bit, fascinated by what could happen.

Last one for me, of course, is the New York Hockey Islanders. Fascinated by the post-Tavarous existence. Fascinated by split in time between Brooklyn and Nassau Coliseum. Oh, yeah. How many teams are they playing in Minnesota? They're playing a handful. Fascinated by Ira, Lou taking over the team, fascinated by Barry Trots being the head coach. fascinated by Robin Lainer, a complete headcase

being the goaltender that's going to stabilize your defense. And fascinated just overall by the defiant, any time you bring defiance into the equation for me, I'm kind of fascinated by the team. You know, like the Vegas Golden Knights last year was like a bunch of guys who even though they weren't really thrown away by their teams were like, we got fucking thrown away by our teams. And they came together and had made the cup final.

And in the Islander's case, it's like, you know, you could see them kind of willing themselves into the mindset. of like, this guy didn't want to choose us because he didn't believe in us. Completely ignoring the bed sheets and the money. The bed sheets? And Austin Matthews. Yeah, for the Leafs. Oh.

So, like, right. So I'm fascinated by that. I'm fascinated to see what Barzell does in year two. The Allenders are really a conundrum for me because in theory, like, you're like, you know, they should tank, but also they might actually be shockingly good because they're just so pissed off. They're not going to be good. They have a great fourth line, huh?

Reunited the magical group. They have Martin Clutterbuck and... It doesn't matter. All he is Martin Clutterbuck. Cizekis is no longer a... He's a classy third line gentleman now. He's not a lowly fourth liner. Air Wolf, a Martin Clutterbuck production.

Is that a thing? I have no idea. So there you go. Six fascinating teams. Fascination. All right, dudes. And dudeettes. There's your, there's your return to, to, to,

free podcasting. Look what you've missed all summer. Do you do bastards? We didn't even talk about Ocean's 11. But now we just did. We didn't talk about Fortnite, which is something that they're warning NHL prospects not to put into their bios anymore or like tweet about Fortnite anymore. Yeah, because if you don't, I assume everyone plays Fortnite but me at this point. Like it doesn't matter how old. You really should. Gender. It's great. It doesn't matter. I just assume everyone plays Fortnite. It's great. It's fantastic. But again, the thing that that's, sort of like what is it about Fortnite that that

was the tipping point like all these guys play call of duty is it because you can play it on your phone because I'm pretty sure other guys have been obsessed with apps I'm sure there's like some there was some fucker two years ago on the team playing who was like don't talk to me I'm playing Floppy Bird like there's probably some shit there's a bunch of guys running

around you know every town they go to on the road where they're trying to catch fucking Pokemon you know like there's got to be there's obsessions in every way shape or form go back to the 1990s. I'm sure there's a bunch of guys who are watching, you know, a lot of Red Shue Diaries and masturbating on the road.

Like, there's a lot of things that could be Red Shoe Diaries. Could be really sort of like... What a show that was. Oh, that was good stuff. Did you see HBO taking real sex? No. Real sex is gone. What are they doing with it? It's gone. Like, you can't get it on the streaming service anymore.

Wait, it was... Oh, like old ones you mean? Like, yeah, like, it's just kind of pretending that they didn't dabble in soft porn for all those years. It was more of a look at the people's lives. I know. It wasn't porn. It kind of breaks my heart that like, listen, we make many archaic references on this podcast, but one of my favorite without question is the, uh, looking like, like the joke I made once about, about Rob Ryan looking like the guy who runs the masturbation, uh, seminars on real

sex. Yeah. Like, that's great. And I don't know if, I mean, now, now, not only is it an archaic reference to like the 1990s or the 80s, but now it doesn't even fucking exist anymore. I can't believe it actually was available. HBO Go this whole time. It's like making a reference to Song of the South to bring it to a Disney reference. It's just something that doesn't exist anymore. Or a Woody Hell an Amazon movie. It's a tough break. When was the last new Real Sex? Like 1997? Yeah, probably. Real Sex. That's a wrap. Oh, right. They would do the street interviews. I love coming over here and just reminiscing about the 90s. There you go. And also working in an occasional hockey reference. There you go. All right, everybody.

That's a buck's here for this week. Thanks for listening. The mailbag will be on the Patreon as per usual. And, yeah, welcome us back into your lives. I'm sure you. Thanks for having us. Thanks, everybody. Thanks for stopping by. All right.

Bye, bye, do, do. Sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you commute. We also cover movies, TV shows, it's and tunes. It's your weekly bowl of Hagi and Nance. Oh, but too