Puck Soup - Bye 2016, Predicting 2017

Episode Date: December 29, 2016

It's the Year in Hockey 2016, as Greg and Dave offer their top 10 stories from the last year as well as a self-indulgent look back at the year in Puck Soup. Plus, the boys predict what will happen in 2017, from the Vegas Golden Knights to the Olympics to the NHL Awards. Also, the typical nonsense about things like Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Blue Jackets fans, Patrik Laine's soft deviousness and all sorts of other things in the latest Puck Soup, sponsored by Seat Geek!

Today's episode of Puck Soup is sponsored by Seat Geek. 2017 is upon us, and this is the crazy part. There are concerts scheduled for your town and sporting events scheduled for your town for like late 2015. Look it up. You want to go see like Roger Waters or whatever? Well, his shows are scheduled for 2017. The tickets are already on sale. You're probably out on your keister trying to get those tickets.

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No, just go to Seatkeek. Solves all your problems. Here's the best part. If you are a Puck Soup listener, what you do is you download the free Seekek app, you go to Settings, you click Add a promo code. You enter the promo code, S-O-U-P, that spells Soup, and Seekek will send you $20 after you've made your first ticket purchase. So $20 rebate for you on your first ticket purchase.

Download the app, go to the Settings tab, click Add a promo code, end of the promo code S-O-U-P, the very letters that appear in the name of this podcast, Puck Soup, and Seat Geek will send you $20 after you've made your first ticket purchase. Download the app today, get buying,

and enjoy the show. Now entering nerdist.com sticks and hits and goals and saves and slapshots and goons. We've got sportly commentary to what if you'll commute. But we also cover

movies, TV shows, it's in twos, it's your weekly bowl of hockey and nonsense. I'm Greg Wyshinsky of Yahoo Sports Puck Daddy Blog. And I'm Dave Lozo of stuff. And you're in Puck Soup. Dave, it is the official end of 2016, 20-od-16, the 16th year of the 2000s. Yep.

16 years after the Columbus Blue Jackets entered the league as an expansion team. Just going right into it, huh? I don't care. Just, yeah, you don't care. You don't care. I'm laughing. I'm not mad. And it's the, it's time for the puck soup year in hockey.

It's been a long-draud. I was questioning you about what happened this year on the podcast, and you had to remind me that the podcast is not older than this year. Our podcast still can't walk. Podcast can't sit up yet, I don't think. Oh, I could tell you from listening back to some. shows, it fucking crawls. Eight months?

It's a crawls. Yeah, it's, I mean... It winds, it crawls. It usually spits up on itself. Totally shits its pants. Totally shits its pants. Usually there's a rattle. Those are the interviews we can't air.

It's good times. Yeah, so we've lost how many, too? We lost... All right, so... We got back one. The year in Puck Soup is this. We lost one interview with... geologist from Animal Collective,

but then we got it back by calling him on the phone. But it was like in Groundhog Day, when Bill Murray has like the perfect day with Andy McDowell, right? And then like he wakes up the next day and it's the same day again and he tries to recreate it and it's just nowhere near his good or fun and he's just whipping snowballs at kids and he's, the moments lost. That was what the second interview with the geologist was. I like to think of it more as when a beloved sketch

comedy actor returns to SNL after many years to resurrect an old character. Kind of like Martin Short doing Ed Grimley for the first time in 25 years. It was also like the kid in Pet Cemetery where they bring back to life. Like he was great when he was alive.

When they pulled him out of the Pet Cemetery, he was a fucking, he was an evil little bastard. He was an evil, little gauge. A gauge, I believe, right? I feel like the end of that movie was really, really a letdown. Like, Gage got tricked by the old needle in the neck thing. Like he was a, he was a psychopathic demon murderer and he got the dad's like come over here for a second he just jammed a needle

in his neck and kills the old needle of metric that old that old movie trope oh man and such a outside of outside of my cousin viny the the second best uh fred gwin uh cinematic appearance i think ever don't want to be marrying boys or girls not bad cemetery oh no they come out they come out different they don't come out the south park keeps using that for for an episode of that one whenever like Whenever, like, the dad's in town want to, like, do something, they always go to the Fred Woon guy. It's like, UPS man's banging your wife, huh? It's so great.

Did you say Ute? A watt. A Ute. A Watt? Two what? Where were you on my cousin Vinny? You love the movie? Yeah, I love that movie.

I love the two. It's a very good movie. Probably set us back with the whole North-South relations for 20 years because we did make people in Alabama look pretty fucking stupid in their movie. I did like any court case in which grits are a plot point. them's hominy grits. And then he's talking about how the instant grits could only be cooked in that certain amount of time

in order to be seeing the car at that point. No self-respect in Southern who uses instant grits. It was surprised Johnny Cochran didn't trot out grits at some point. To prove that, throwing everything else at the wall. I also feel like the prosecutor could probably win that case on appeal. Like, wait, so who was the expert they put up there? Oh, she was a hairdresser who in her spare time. Like loves cars.

Wait, and you drop the charges based on her testimony on fucking Polaroid pictures? Well, hold on I'm also a big fan of that point in the movie where someone says that he goes to buy a tux and the entire store was closed for flu I was also a favorite moment of Classic that happens all the time in Alabama Based on that movie that I saw that's the only thing I know about Alabama

I know about Alabama is Don't don't get caught For attempted murder there Don't be a New Yorker who has a green car in Alabama And goes into a grocery store and I believe remember the Titans took place there, right? Right. So they love high school football.

Wait, no. Didn't it? No, remember the Titans took place in Virginia. I covered that team. He was T.C. Williams. Oh. Okay. Well, I don't know why I said, yeah.

I think their uniforms were like reminiscent of Alabama. Maybe that's what it was. So we had, so we lost the geologist interview, but got it back by calling him on the phone while he was on the train back home. And then we completely lost an interview with Pete the retailer from the Star Wars Minute because we listened back to it and these static demons on this, this podcasting machine had claimed it,

which sucks because we talked to him before Rogue 1, but we'll have them back to talk about Rogue 1 probably at some point. Yeah, that was like, that was like the pre-Rogue 1 set up. Yeah. Oh, man, we had, yeah, we had,

you had funny stories about, he was, he was the devil's fan? No, no, no, I don't think of it Dan. He's an islander fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was actually a pretty decent interview. Who was your favorite interview that we've done?

I got to admit, sitting back and seeing Keith Olderman be Keith Olberman and in his Rangers jersey in this room was pretty cool. That was less an interview, doing it, but more Keith just, like, ranting for 55 minutes. I feel like we didn't even need to be here for that one.

Like Hurricane Keith. So, hey you doing, Keith Olderman, welcome to the podcast. And we just get up and walk out to the kitchen and grab, like, some cookies and some water and just come back in, like, later. And he's like, and another thing about Messia. I mean, in hindsight, the Weiner interview is amazing. But that whole thing felt so surreal to me. Not only big, did we ever talk, did we ever talk about that?

I think we did on the episode beforehand about how he was at Yahoo. We might have been on that episode where he was at Yahoo that day, the day before, and then he stormed out because he realized he was going to be on a panel with Clay Aiken and Amorosa. Which not for nothing. I would sign up for that in a second. If anybody wants to pay me to be on a panel with those two. The Weiner one was surreal. I hate the Weir one because it was if we had just gotten him like three weeks later when everything broke.

Like we got him before that and it's just like he was still kind of a weirdo at that point. He was still Anthony Wiener, but then the documentary came out. Loved Tom Cavanaugh. I mean, I loved all our guests for different reasons, but Kavanaugh was great only because, like, he's a guy that we knew as sort of a famous dude, but he was so damn passionate about the Habs. It was just wonderful to listen to that.

He was fun. I'll say my two were, I thought Sidneyus Iison was good. Amazing because the kind of guest that you don't know what you're going to get coming into it and also didn't know how deep down the rabbit hole she'd go with the matt martin stuff she told us how matt martin slid into her dms on fucking twitter that's that was like one of like 20 things that were good and and and how the dynamic between himself and boomer asyerson is that he may have to convert to judaism one day basically

and become a ranger's fan right like imagine how obnoxious boomer must be to actually find out his little girls bringing home a guy she really likes and he goes to the garage and throws on a fucking brad richard jersey of all the jersey you could throw on to he throws on a brad richard and I like I feel like our listeners like that one the least but it was Billy Kimball from V from V it was great it was like

it was like informational and educational like I feel like that one was like more for me than it was for anybody else I would put I would put Kellyn Caproner our new friend from the world of music in that Sydney aside category of not knowing what we'd end up with but he was frigging great

well no I mean he's a hockey fan and he'd be fun but like like Sydney you ever know like how guarded they're going to be about like the player girlfriend and play her wife's situation because she works in the media now she's, but this was before they went to Toronto

and at the time too we all kind of knew Matt Martin wasn't coming back to the Islanders she talked about that I think I put Sydney number one so let's put a cap on this year here on Puck's seat let's just do it right now

okay star rating for each episode one to four Katie Nolan four star four star episode yeah yeah that was four super mega Stanley Cup playoff preview don't really remember it I'll say it was about three stars

I'll say two because I think I got like three predictions right the entire post and so. Anthony Wiener, I'd go three and a half. I agree. It's a bit of a missed opportunity, but overall, I think that people really enjoyed it. I'll go three. I would go three and a half only because it got us some renown, too, for being, like, well, how did, and then, and then the thing came out. Sure. Trey Galley, and I'd give it three. I know the listeners would probably give it one. I know a lot of people didn't like Trey, but I found him to be appealing in sort of a, a, bro-y, kind of, scruffy, kind of Flyers fan kind of way, who may or may not still be using some terms. that don't fly here in our PC culture. Yeah, he was good.

I like him. Playoffs and suspensions, this was a hostful episode. I gave it one star. I'm sure it was probably terrible. I'll say zero. It wasn't good. Sydney. Asi, some four stars.

Four. Tom Kavanaugh, four stars. Four. Geologist, four star, three and a half stars. We had to do the interview on the phone. I'll say two and a half, but it's three and a half for him and minus one for us. This one was 121 minutes of the Stanley Cup final. Oh, and me talking to Doc Emrick.

That's obviously five. stars if it's a Doc Emmerick episode. Two. Oh my. Oh my. A low rating from Dave Lozo. I identified him as Jeff Merrick the whole time. Oh my. I did the entire episode holding my little pup.

And when I would get a tough question, I looked at my pup and I'd say, oh my, this is a really tough query. Happy birthday to Greg Wachinsky. Jeff Merrick. And a mascot from the HL that nobody knows. This is 85 stars for me. Catherine Tappan, I'd say about, oh, no, that was the one where I did the Catherine Tappen interview on the road.

And then we had to go back and read and, like, add the Gordy Howe shit at the end. When I was in my hotel room, this one we did over... Gordy Howe died. Yeah, Gordy Howe died. Yeah, that was one star. I'd give it like two and a half stars. She wouldn't go in on Melbury too much, and then we had to do extra work. Yeah, she wasn't fun.

and we definitely, definitely, definitely. Yeah, that was why that ended up being so long. Because, yeah, and it was, no, it wasn't at night. The night one was the dark. It was the morning one we did. Doc Emrick was the one where you had a dude banging on your wall. Yeah, for those who don't know, I got-up, Wischinski. I got in trouble because I was being so loud when we were taping the Doc Embrick interview

in my hotel room. Like, you were at home or wherever. I was in my hotel during the, during the final. And who was it that was next door to me from? It was an NBC person. It was, oh, it was. oh, he's like the B, he's like the B studio host. Not his name escapes me.

Not Liam. Not Liam. The other guy. And not the other guy that they bought in for Liam. So not Liam McHugh. Dave. Oh, he's like the guy that's like, he's like the diet Shasta to Liam McHugh's Coca-Cola. Yes.

I know you're talking about it. Yeah. Keep it down in there. What are you doing in there? Watching porn? Billy Kimball, I'd give three stars because it was apparently an hour and 59 minute episode. Four stars.

Because Bill, he was the one that wrote the best episode of VeePlaz season with Okie dokey, Annie Oakley. Yeah, and he used to be on, he used to host my favorite game show Clash back when it was the comedy, it was Ha, the comedy channel. 2016 Puck Soup NHL Awards, 10 stars. 10 across the board. Easily the best thing we did.

Easily the best thing we did. Keith Olkman, four stars. Four stars. Free Agent Cookout, don't remember it. I'll give it two stars just to balance out the scoring. Oh, that was the one where, um, you were, you were claiming that, like potato salad was your favorite fucking thing to eat at a barbecue. Oh yeah, and you tried to like go to bat for macaroni salad.

Oh, I'll tell you, I got one to add. Buffalo chicken pasta salad. Holy shit. It's the best. There's a place in Hoboken that makes it. And it's, you go there for sandwiches. They have really good cold, like cold cut sandwiches. And in the glass case, they have buffalo chicken pasta salad.

And I was like, can I try? Oh, yeah. You got to keep it in a glass case. It's like a Rolex. Oh, my, dude, it's better than a Rolex. I could eat two pounds of that. per day forever. That's the only cold salad. That's, like, not salad salad that I'll eat.

The introduction of buffalo chicken into other cuisines, I'm actually a big fan of. Like, a buffalo chicken pizza, especially at Weingham's, is aces. It's so good. It's the only innovation we've made as Americans in the last 20 years. I've had buffalo chicken and stuff. Buffalo chicken mac and cheese I've had. It's really good. Anything. You can put buffalo chicken? Buffalo chicken pizza,

buffalo chicken pasta. I mean, pasta. I'm like, pasta. I'm like, is it hotter? No, it's cold. I'm like, cold buffalo sauce. I'm like, I'll try it. Now, every time I go in there, I'm just like, can I just get like one of those six pound tubs, just to go. Like a little snack. Why don't you start keeping buffalo sauce in your purse?

Like, Beyonce with hot sauce. Like Hillary? And like Hillary with hot sauce. Put some hot sauce on it. But didn't Hillary use the hot sauce as like, like most people use caffeine? Like, didn't she use it to wake up or something like that? Oh, I thought she was using it to like appeal to black women. Oh.

She was on a campaign trail. She was just like, I have hot sauce in my purse. Well, look in that the returns from Detroit and Philly. Boy, did it ever work. She pulled out like a bottle of it and it was like unopened. Wa, Visi and Bad Rio Hangover. Now I'm going to have to think about this for a second. We actually...

Is that one of a quakeet? We talked about the Vegas team name. We talked about the Olympa. Oh, that was the one with your Penn State children's birthday party. That's at least three stars. I caught a lot of abuse over that story. John Totorella Patriot, of course, was about... Oh, that's four stars.

The National Anthem. That's back when Torts, when people didn't like Torts. Now they love him. Because it's weird. He's been a bad coach forever. And a bad person sometimes. I just remember that was the episode where we got our best negative reviews. I got to go find that one while we're doing this.

Linda Cohn, I'd say three stars. A wonderful, lovely woman. Very loquacious. Very well-spoken. Loquacious. Going down the ESPN rabbit hole with her. The World Cup of Hockey and more. was the name of the episode.

That's about probably like one star. What was it again? What in World Cup? The World Cup of hockey and more. Why they sucked. We had to do a better job of teasing these things. David Ehrlich, five stars. Just the best.

I'm going to give him four because we stole his umbrella, and I'm pretty sure we still have not promoted his podcast that we promised. I'm going to give him actually down about two and a half because he also was Columbus with Margot Rabe, so we can't get her on the podcast. Wait, I don't remember that story. He told the story about hanging out. Remember he had her? He did the interview.

with her about the Rangers and then and then now we can't get her on the podcast because she already did her hockey interview that's bullshit Sarah Kwok in the NHL preview four star Sarah is a lovely person and we should definitely have her back soon I'll say three earn your fourth star Sarah Johnson McGinley four stars oh yeah I was four stars Bill Pito three stars but only because Linda Cohen had kind of covered and and Oberman had kind of covered some of the territory that Bill did I'll say three I feel like yeah he was kind of gar he wasn't really up for doing stick but he was he was still pretty good for as boxed in as he is considering what he does.

The Halloween spookacular, four stars across the board. It was the debut of Yummy and My Tummy are only for a dummy. Definitely. Agree. That's the only way you can rate that. Oh, our player safety one revealed, four stars. I think a lot of people learned a lot of things from that. And I'm sure the NHL will never allow us to ever have access to those people again.

They've been doing a lot of stuff like that, I notice because like I'm friends with Damien on Facebook. And he keeps like posting interviews from like, like, he was on like some, he was on a thing where like there was like a, uh, uh, uh, Wall Street, like, stock ticker thing across the bottom, and I'm wondering if he was on, like, Jim Kramer's Mad Money or something. They were like, I want you to sell on hits from behind. Jonah Carey, four stars. I'll say three, because he bailed on us early. Take that, Jonah.

Kell and Capner, four stars. Four stars. Turkey Days. Three stars. Wack Panther, we just did. Four stars. I don't remember. Wack Panther was the one about the Panthers firing.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And about, that's when we, oh, that's when we played Rogue One, the Finnish hockey player or Rogue One character that we tried to play with Pete the retailer. And then we lost his interview. Okay, here, I found the review from the Torterella one. And the title of it is, it's one star. And the title of it is Condoleezer Rice or Murderer? And the best part was, like, the next, like, I got to tell people that listen. Like, I don't remember, because sometimes, like, people will reply on Twitter on Thursday at, like, 3 o'clock.

And that's like 24 hours later. And you're like, Lozo, the ice pops. And I'm like, did I mention ice pops on the podcast? I don't remember anything. I'm just like, are they happy about that? Are they sad? But this was great. It says, did you really call Condoleezza Rice a murderer?

If I were a crazy self-described liberal like you two, I would call you a racist. But the truth is, you're just ill-informed and hateful. I will vote with my feet and unsubscribe, which means he took out his phone. What is he? Daniel Day Lewis in my left foot. And he tapped him with his toes until he finally got. got the unsubscribe button tapped. Too bad.

I really like the hockey and pop culture talk. One last thing. I don't like Trump's politics, but calling him a racist, clan member or fascist is harmful to identifying real racist clan members. Nope, because we've identified one. And we pointed one out.

You can disagree with people without hating them. Try it sometime. Wow. Dan Pashtun, four stars. Four stars. Santa Yager, four stars. Only because, in hindsight,

we had three great bits. We had the die-hard one. We had the Christmas Carols won. And then unbeknownst to us, we had the, would you have a threesome with the stalls, the Ben's or the Sedeens? And the Ben's won the poll I put up. You put a poll up in and 53% people would have, that's got, Jamie Ben's a good-looking guy. That's got to be it, right? But he's going to, he's going to get his, he's going to go to sleep.

You know it. I mean, he's left with George. You're just going to sit there. George's got to finish you off. That's just, you know, it's a team effort, a Minaj. You can't, you just can't be that first one done and then you go watch TV. That's bullshit. Yeah.

It's like Hall gets done with you and you're left with oats. I guess Jamie's the best looking of the potentials in that question. It's the thing too, when you do a Twitter poll, it's like, Ben's, Cedines, or who's the other one again? The stalls. And someone's like, what about the filinos? Like, that wasn't the question. Yeah, what about the Tannivs? Yeah, I know.

Fuck whoever you want, I guess. Go crazy. So this is the part we say to all of you. Thank you for supporting the podcast. It's gotten better than we could have imagined. It's a huge success. If you could have seen the check that we've gotten so far from this show. I mean, it's...

It is generated... I'm moving out of my parents' basement, finally. It is generated three figures in revenue, and I won't tell you where that decimal point is. But, like, it's great, and thank you for supporting it, and your support allows us to keep doing it, and your support allows us to keep getting interesting people to talk to. And no, it's not for everybody.

Hopefully, after, like, this is 31 episodes, officially a puck soup and then the ones we did under the MVSW banner. Hopefully at this point we've gotten it down to the people that actually want to listen to this nonsense on a weekly basis. Oh, we'll find the way to alienate somebody at some point. No question about it.

I don't know what's going to happen, but it's probably going to be politics or it's going to be some hit from behind or some fighting. They're going to ban fighting going to the next season and it's going to just cause an uproar in the world. But thank you anyway. It's been a really fun time. And thank you for making your way into the big city.

every week to do this stupid thing. That's done. I know. It's just nice that you do that. It's a tax write off. Oh, all right, then. Oh, yeah. You think I'm doing this for fun?

Just for my brand, Greg. Your hashtag brand? Hashtag, I'm just here to do voices and talk hockey. But your hashtag brand took a huge, you know, you got a huge boost this year when you started doing your Vin-Skelie stuff. I forgot about that. Yeah, I know, right? That's the thing.

Like, all right, so this is going to come out well after all this is done. But, like, someone pointed out that. I had written something about the Blue Jackets having a slogan called the Fifth Line. Hang on, let's go back a couple of steps before you get to that part of it. Greg hates the Blue Jackets as we all know. I don't. I've been supportive of that franchise forever. Wants to see them fail. Don't.

And you got called out about it on Twitter. Yeah. And somebody was like, we have the Blue Jackets fan was like, we're the fifth line. We're awesome because like the fifth line is like their Seahawks 12th man or whatever. And so Greg proceeded to spend the next, I'll say seven hours. hours on Twitter mocking the fifth line. Roughly 24 hours. And so fans were, he's like, who's ever heard of the fifth line?

In his defense, I'd never heard of the fifth. We don't know your individual team, you know, slogans. Outside of Sen's Army. Right. Only because that guy who came out without a shirt on and talked to the crowd with the bad microphone. Senator Arm. You get it.

Burn out. Get it. Get it. Team. It's like, what was that guy? But, so Greg on Twitter was emphatic. He made a little poll. It said if you're not a fan of the Blue Jackets,

have you heard of the fifth line? And the poll was like three to one. No one's heard of it. And he was, Greg was like, got you owned. No one knows your stupid fan thing. And then...

And then someone noted an article I'd written, I guess, in 2014 during the playoff run against the Penguins in which I referenced the fifth line in the lead paragraph. In your defense, all those blue jackets playoff seasons melt together. Yeah, I know. There's been so many. Like the Duke basketball of the small market American hockey teams.

No, I in my defense I write over 1600 posts a year Humble brag it is and it's easy to forget one

in my defense I didn't see the giant fifth line banner at the arena because I didn't care and in my defense you know I think my my ultimate take on it is maybe I wrote about it but didn't think it ever stick

I it was when you tweeted it I was like I don't know. Like, if it was like a quiz, it was a multiple choice, I probably could have figured it out. But if you were like, what's the fifth line? I would have been like,

new subway line in D.C. I don't know. I have no idea what that is. But like, again, this is how localized hockey is. Like, you know everything about your team. The other 29 fan bases do not. I do not know what the Florida Panthers fans call themselves. Ratheads.

No, they don't. I don't know. You could have totally sold me on that if you have just gone harder. I, my problem with it beyond the, again, it's like, yeah, like, they were treated like the canon. Like, oh, you don't know the fifth line? It's as famous as the giant canon. I'm like, well, everybody knows the cannon. The cannon fires off after every go.

You don't know, you don't know finheads? It's as famous as the giant shark face we all skate out of. Like, no, everybody knows the giant shark face. We don't know fucking finheads. Wait, sharks fans call themselves finheads? I don't know. Again, I'm just pulling these out of my ass. We should be trademarking this shit.

We can probably get like start fan base. fan, like, clubs and make some money off of these people. But the biggest problem with it was that it makes no sense. It doesn't. The 12th man makes sense because the 12th man means that you're an active player who came out on the field to help your team. Most of the time it's illegal. Yeah.

Most of the time. But if you don't get caught, then you're assisting the other 11 guys in football. Like if you were the referees in the Giants Eagles game, that was a week ago. It wasn't last night because I'm not still mad about it because it was a week ago. If you want to do the 12th man. for hockey, that means you need to do the seventh man or the sixth skater. Or the second goalie. 21st man.

I haven't to think that the second goalie would probably help more than being the fifth line. Well, you've got to be the third goalie if you're going by that same routine. The third goalie who comes out and plays with the first goalie while the second goalie is still on the bench. No, the third goalie would be like... You're J.F. Berube. No, even better.

You're like that dude, the Blackhawks threw as a backup and didn't pay because he's not eligible to get money. You're the videographer for the capitals that one year. That tall skinny guy. Yeah, friend, he's great. The fifth line gets scratched. That was my whole point. The fifth line can't exist because the fifth line is where they stick the injured guys. And you know who's on the fifth line? Usually just two people during practice.

It's like Dalton Prout, Jared Bull. And like John Tortorell is oldest son filling in for line rushes. It's usually like a minor leaguer who hasn't played yet and then a guy recovering from rickets. Like it's just like the fifth line is the shitty line. It's like the black aces. And it's also like not a thing that's unique to the blue jacket. It's like 12th man in football. Like the Seahawks, I didn't know they had the 12th man thing until like a few years ago because they were always bad. They were never on TV. They don't show pregame shit, but now that they're awesome. It's like, Steph Curry is the third,

the 12th man or McElmores raising the flag. And it's like great. But like there's nothing like that in Columbus. Like before the game, I don't know. Who's a good Ohio State guy? Robert Smith. Braxton Miller. Eddie George is raising the fifth line. Yeah, that's what I had to do is combine the gun and the fifth line thing and make Eddie George the official fifth line guy. I guess that's the thing that's like your whole bit is you're the blue jackets. You've got a cannon. There's a whole army motif.

Like, why aren't you just the jacket's army? Well, that's the thing too is it's just all done already. He sends army. There's another army too, isn't there? Just fucking, why do you have to identify? Devil's army. We're an army now. I saw a pop-up ad that said it was like, saw on tickets.

picture DeMonte Smith Pelly and it was like, tickets on sale, but above DeMonte Smith Pelley's head, you're going to like this. It said, it's hockey time. I was just checking out that Robert Smith was still alive. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't referencing, but I wanted to say something even better about Robert Smith. Smith made a cameo appearance in the TV series

Mystery Science Theater 3000. He was in season 8, episode 3 of the mole people. He played a scantily clad mute hunk given to Pearl the season's antagonist as a present by her minions. What? Yes, it's on Wikipedia. It's got to be true. was like on the show he wasn't in a movie they were watching no no he was uh in the the skits like like the host segments well they can't be the same guy it is what do you think is the guy from the

cure i mean there's a lot of robert smiths walking around i mean why can it be the guy from the cure it's not the guy from the cure it's not the guy from the cure is there have been naked no yes trust me no oh geez i know i know i know somebody that's all i'll say so i don't that's why that was my problem with the fifth line is that it doesn't make any sense logically So my problem with the fifth line is that all the jacket's hands are being really mean to me because now they're completely. That's the issue. You know, they're so, we talked about the last episode. They're just so snarky and they completely aren't the people who said Tortorillo was a mistake and yada, yada, yada.

Because of course, because of advanced stats in the words of Heath Ledger, I think we're destined to do this forever. Yeah. Once a year there's going to be a team. That does this. And then they're all going to just be like, why don't you love my? We talked about this last week, too, is like, again, it's a Giants fan. I don't care if people think my team sucks. Like, I don't, I'm not mad.

Yeah. Like, Peter King is like, giants aren't that good. I'm not going to be like, Peter King, you're stupid. I'm trying to figure out what point I find joy in my heart for this team. Listen, I've rooted for Flyers teams. I've rooted for Flyers teams. When have you rooted for Flyers or Rangers teams? There was some devil interest in it for you.

There's no way. There's no selfless rooting. I'm really liking the Flyers towards the end of Brier's time there because I found them to be likable. I also liked that team with pronger on it that play the Blackhawks, to be honest with you. Even though the Blackhawks, you know,

I was hoping they'd win for the betterment of hockey. But that Flyers team was kind of fun to watch. Yeah, Villalino had like 24 points in 19 games. And then he got a billion dollars from Terry Magoo. And then he died under a pile of money. The way we all want to go. But the Rangers, like, I, The Rangers are a team that I end up respecting in sort of parallel with the devils having a team I don't like.

Right? Like, kind of like, oh, I wish that the devils are more like this ranger team. That's happened a few times in the last couple of years. Well, yeah, because they've been good and devils have been bad. But also they played a style that I respected. Like, you know, when I went to watch these devil teams be pedestrian and boring. And like I watched Chris Kreider, I came here like a wrecking ball!

into leg opposing goalies. Like, that's the kind of hockey I wish they'd play. People are still mad about that. Oh, he's great. As a first thing people, like, they thought of when he was, when Carrier Price was well on, on Paul Mary, it was like, good, that's for Criter. Like, wait, what? No, that's not how revenge works.

That's not how you do it. I'm going to attack a skater on behalf of all goalies against all skaters. Kreider did fall into a lot of goalies that season. I haven't noticed him to do it since, but, like, he was like a super fast young dude, and I don't think he really understood his own... his own power, his own strength. Much like a superhero's origin story. He was figuring out his powers,

and he realized his one power was murdering goalies in the conference finals. He needs a pot Kent to take him over by the side and say, Chris, great power comes great responsibility. Don't use your heat vision on them goalies no more. Also, don't save me from that tornado when it hits. Yeah, I'm going to hold up my hand. I'm going to do the Heisman, and that's code for let me die. I'd rather die than have you expose to Superman 10,

years before it was going to happen anyway. What the fuck those movies? Also, fuck my wife. You know, she's over there crying because I just died, but luckily no one knows your Superman. I'm going to leave her alone to tend to a farm all by herself to keep a secret that's unkeepable for much longer anyway. She'll literally be in a wheelchair by the time she's 50

because of all the farmworks, you know, has to do because I'm dead. But luckily, you didn't use your super speed in front of six people. Which we could have just blown off as like adrenaline. probably because it's or like the winds of a tornado carried you real fast you that would have been plausible the two the two hardest times i've ever laughed in movies at deaths was kevin costner's and maggie joanalls and in the dark night where it's okay harvey someone's gonna rewrite they're funny in different ways like like kiven kosser is more physical comedy because he held up the hand like he was like it's okay and she was just like it's

okay Harvey you're no you're you're three two one boom you're you're dead you know for a while I thought you were harvey hello beautiful oh god the best it's the best you got Jared fucking let our have you seen suicide squad you know I haven't seen Suicide Squad and you haven't seen Rogue One I'm guessing right I wanted to yesterday I just ran out of time for the Giants games no I've had Suicide Squad like I'm on my my radar because it's on it's on iTunes now and stuff but I just can't I can't bring I can't find the time to dedicate to watching it because I know I'm going to probably I'm going to be one of

two things I'm either going to love it more than I really want to or I'm going to really hate it and it's going to really piss me off like I don't see anybody reviewing that positively it just looks so everyone's like everyone's like Jared Letto's Joker sucks and it's barely in the movie to begin with so it's weird that like he's so heavy yeah like he's like heavy but about Batman Superman have ever talked about that? ever see that yet? I saw it in the movies. And I've seen it a lot on HBO. And I feel like much, listen, I know where this is going already, because we've established in this damn show in last year that if a movie has some flaws that people can't get over, if someone's like, God, I hated

Alex Luther's scenes, but I really like Batman versus Superman. In Dave Lozo's world, that means you can't like Batman versus Superman because you didn't like this one part of the movie. Again, that's one part. Four parts of Rogue One people hated. And they were like, go see it. I Batman v. Superman Coldon and Justice was a deeply flawed film

that is like it's just like phantom menace it's like if you if you give me a scalpel and 10 minutes to kind of cut in and get rid of some stuff then I think we might have actually

a pretty good movie there like if you get rid of Ben Affleck being casted as Batman and then cast somebody else you've got to get to start Wonder Woman's the movie for like eight fucking seconds And she's the only

That's a good fucking tune Like that that gets me hyped up When that comes on and I'm like Wonder Woman's gonna fuck some shit up And then like Batman's like I'm doing a voice still And like what's his voice? Like that's not even like a voice You can tell that's like computer generated

After they made the fucking movie But He made a good Bruce Wayne though I like that scene where him and Batman And him and Superman are talking at the party And he's just like He's like oh no I do the things over Metropolis

Maybe it's the got the in me, but I love that shit. It's so corny. Oh, I love it. It's like, oh my, yeah, but you were saying Lex Luthor. I love the fact that Gotham and Metropolis was set up to be like these, like Minneapolis

in St. Paul. Yeah, I know. Springfield and Shelbyville. Like, give me a helicopter. Where are you going? I'm going to go say, I'm over there. Yeah.

Can you just fucking drive? I mean, why do you need the fucking helicopter? But yeah, Jesse Eisenberg was the wrong person for that role. It's a good, it's a good role in concept because. Oh, it's bad. I like the idea of Lex being Mark Zuckerberg, but you didn't have to hire Mark Zuckerberg. You didn't have to actually go out of the house. And then have him be the joker, basically.

Like, they hammered home the whole fucking God thing. Like, no. It was like, it was like, you had to say the word God. Every scene he was in where he was like, God is dead. But like, he's not. He's going to be in the next fucking movie. But that's, you see, but that's at least, like, Lex's motivation was always, I'm, I'm a man and this guy's an alien. And I'm going to prove that men are better than aliens.

And the problem is, they gave that. that trope to Batman in the movie. Like, Batman's all about, you're not brave. You're not brave. You're right. So it was weird. Like, that's why Lex did completely didn't work is because that that's part of his motivation

and they gave it to another character. And his motivation was if there's a, if there's even a 1% chance of a 100% chance of a 42% chance of a 69% chance that he could destroy. And like, Jeremy Aaron's like, last away. Why don't you start hanging out with Dick Cheney?

Like his motivation for killing him was stupid Like Lex Luthor's was stupid Every Let me stick I swear to God we're gonna get the hockey I'm gonna stick up for the Martha scene Oh that was I was just gonna do that Like everybody hates the Martha scene

I laughed at that the same way I laughed at fucking Kevin Costner hand up and the fucking Maggie Jillinghall I liked it for two reasons Oh my god First is that As hardcore a comic book fan I am And as hardcore comic movie fan I am I'm in that movie theater and that scene comes on

and I swear to God I'm like wow wait a second they both are named Martha I've never noticed that in 38 years I mean seriously did you ever know that before they said it you didn't put two and two together they were both named Martha I mean like I knew it I just never like

applied it right yeah exactly right it's like the first time save Martha what did you say okay But, like, point taken that why is Superman saying his mother's proper name? Like, we've never actually heard him use it at any point. Like, all they had to do is throw one line there where he's, she's like, call me mom.

I'm like, I don't know. I'm an alien. I'm going to call you a Martha. Like, that's fine. And that makes that scene work better, right? And so, like, but, like, the reason why he stops killing him isn't because it's like, your mom's name is my mom's name. and now we're besties.

It's because he thinks back to when he saw his parents murdered. There's a- Wait, Batman's parents were murdered? Is that why they showed that in that movie? I never knew that. Batman's parents get thrown into a bat of chemicals. A man murdered just cl- No, I was another guy.

He thinks back to what his parents were murdered, and he's seeing it through his eyes, and he sees the whole pearls sliding to the ground thing and the whole bit. And he realizes in that moment, after an entire movie of him murdering people left and right, He realizes he's become the thing he hates the most. That's why he stopped.

We've been so much better if it was like real, like human dialogue. Save Martha. And he's just like, is that your girlfriend or who's that? Martha. No, I heard you say Martha. Who is, hold on. Let me take my foot off your neck for a second. Who's Martha?

Martha's my mother. Oh my God. Martha's my mom. I can't kill you. You have a mom. It's the same as mine. Oh. I love the fact that.

you know there's a giant turd monster at the end that fucking like oh god man so psychologically damaged that's why he's Batman that in that moment we see it and I love that about that scene he's just like the circuit start flashing in his head he's like does not compute why say this thing now

I have spear in hand going to kill you why must I still do this voice even though we've pretty much figured out who each person is and my mask is all broken up there's a lot to love about Batman in the movie like when they throw in the scene of him waking up to a rando blonde in his bed yeah I know They turned Batman into like a fucking

Like a like a like a like a Not Milfunter obviously But like He's his murdering psychopath And the thing too about the Martha scene is That was the fucking Who wrote the movie Is Axeiner write it

Or just directed? Whoever wrote it Thought of that right away What's his face? The dude who wrote The dude who helped write The Dark Night movies actually wrote it Hang on

Chris Rinald? No no no no no No That man V Superman His name escapes me now But he's the dude who directed Blade 3. I think he wrote it.

Enjoy your midnight showing of Blade 2. Now, there's a good movie. That's a great movie. Give me some Vant music, but you're all right now. I was going to say that it reminded me... David Goyer. Oh, of course, David Goyer. Yeah, he wrote it, I think.

Yeah, David Goyer and Chris Terrier. So David Goyer wrote it. Chris Terrio was Afflex writer on Argo, and it's rumored that he wrote all the Batman scenes. And he was actually partnered with Chris Pronger a lot. of those years, Chris Terrio. Right. Yeah.

Who was in, so she's having a baby with Kevin Bacon. It's all pretty obvious. Right. No, but I was going to say, when they came up with the idea of Batman versus Superman, you could tell it was the first thing I thought of was doing the Martha Martha bit. Just like Zach Braff in fucking Garden State when he thought of his ellipsist thing at the end

that he fucking shoehorned in. It felt so shoehorned and it didn't feel organic and it was three hours. And I really, like, Wonder Woman was cool. Also, also, we're going to get the hockey in like two seconds. Okay. So Wonder Woman? Yeah. Aquaman.

Sure. Who's the fucking dude on the fucking fence who comes to life with the scientist guy from the Terminator movies? Oh, it's Cyborg. Who the fucking Cyborg? Who are these people? He used to be a member of young justice or like, you know, like Robin. Is that a band? No.

It's like the Junior League, Justice League. It's like Robin. Like Young Guns? Teen Titans. Oh, God. And now he's, and then he graduated to the, he's also on the Teen Titans cartoon show that my daughter watches. as well. And the other one's Flash. The other one's the Flash. She's not the Flash on the Tom Cavinole.

Tom Cavinole doesn't like that flash. Wait, it all comes for a full circle. We did talk about that. Man v. Superman, Colin Donna Justice with Tom Cabin. All right, we can talk hockey now. The top stories from 2016, the things that we're going to take away from this horrible, horrible, tire,

dumpster flaming shit pile of a year. Let me see if anybody died while we were talking about that. Oh, yeah, Gourie Howe died, too. I don't have them on my list. Let it be known that Lozo and I both really value Gordy Howe's life and legacy and that we acknowledge his passing and what it means for hockey. Sorry.

And the fact we didn't include him on either of our list does not diminish his impact on the game. There I said it. And also, like, we're trying to do funny things here, and Gordyhow dying is not funny, so that's not going to be a thing we bring up during the course of this. Gordyhow devouring stem cells in order to live a few more extra years. That was really funny. Oh, good for him. I hope I can get, I hope when I'm at the end, like, I really want to stay alive that

badly, even though I'm incomplete and total pain. It's fantastic. Like, send me to Mexico to get me the drugs. Mr. Hal, how are we feeling today? Good. Here's your umbilical pie. What? That was funny.

Him dying, not funny. No, no, no, no. Umbilical pie. Hilarious. Just like Mama used to make. We can edit all that. What's number one for you on the list of stories in 2016? Um, which,

do I want to go in. All right. Well, the thing that I will never forget as a year, because the year of 2016 is the year of Trump. So Trump is going to be part of everything. Might be. And that moment when I saw the translation of the Tamu Salani magazine interview that said he was happy to Donald Trump as president completely changed. Everything about for years of Timu forever. I hope Timu plays forever. He's he's so cool. He's the best. I love him. Instantly changed. It was like, say for instance, like say, Batman turned evil and tried to kill Superman. It was exactly like that. Only Tammu had better hair. Batman was never evil, by the way. He was making a decision based on what he thought was best for the human race. Much like Trump. Much like Donald Trump, yeah.

He was not evil. Try understanding someone else's point of view, Greg. Were you surprised that there was so little political brouhaha in the NHL? If you remember, like Sarah Palin dropped the puck at a blues game once. Like there was little to nothing this election cycle as far as like that stuff. In terms of that? Yeah, our players, you know, speaking out against it. No, Andrew Ferrence, like, planting a tree in front of Trump Tower or anything like that.

Who are you? I'm Andrew Ferrence. Who are you? I don't know who that is. It was pretty much drama-free when it came to the election. Yeah, like, when it came to sports, it was, like, Brady with the Trump hat in his locker. LeBron with Black Lives Matter stuff. Yeah.

And also, actually, like, endorsing Hillary, I think, which really helped in Ohio, apparently. Yeah, he won the state. But hockey players are, they're not Americans, a lot of them. The ones who are American and actually can vote are boring and don't have any opinions. So it's a bad mix, I think, for hockey and politics to ever have sort of like, like, Ovechkin. Like, nobody wants to talk to him about Putin. Yeah, that's the thing that really is sort of stunning is that Oveckin was never like, Yeah.

Hey, you're, you're friends with Vladimir Putin. What up with all this? You know what sports are like? Sports are like politics in that no one in politics ever wants to do anything bold until they're out of politics. Like sports is the same way. You retire and then it's like, oh man, I'm a huge fan. I guess that's not true. Occupiers are big and you can play.

I just figured, you know, somebody would go to the best American player like Patrick Kane and just be like, hey, what do you think of the election? And we get to hear another enlightening answer. Like, I know, I think there's an election going on and maybe there's going to be, you know, new president or whatever. But, you know, as long as a candidates give it all, I suppose maybe they're going to be all right. and, you know, there's going to be a president or whatnot. Patrick, you're a beacon of moral light. Tell us what you think about the election. You know, there's an election or something.

Like, you know, if everybody gives it all, you know, there's a certain legacy you got up Whaler in Chicago, and I think that maybe we're doing a pretty good job of it. Can you talk about your election? Apparently there's a raging election here in the United States. You want to get a handle on your election. then you know sometimes it goes right and sometimes it goes wrong you never know what your election's going to end up doing not a given night in buffalo sometimes you never know who wins the election sometimes it lasts more than four hours and then you gotta do something about that and when you do that you finish it off it's pretty good uh number number one story for me as far as what i'll remember from 2016 was another puck soup

it was the uh what i said about three and a half minutes in which taylor hall was traded for adam larsson stephen stamcoose resigned and shay weber was traded for bk suvann fucking sat in this chair for like six hours Couldn't fucking get out of here. That's it. That was incredible. I mean, it really was incredible to think about those three things happening in such close proximity. In hindsight, um... What was the date? Give the date?

I forget what the date was. I can look it up for you. But it was like mid-July, right? Yeah, it was. Taylor, you should really have me, like, prepare these things beforehand. I wrote mine on the bus on the way over, so... June 30th. Oh, it was before free agency.

Yeah. Oh, right, because Stamco signed before. before we got the trial first. So in hindsight, I'll get your impression on this too in hindsight. Like, I think the Taylor Hall things work for the devils, even though they're not really that successful.

Like, they're not going to be a playoff team, but we kind of knew that already. They didn't, but they, right, they improve their forwards. Right. And they signed Ben Loved Tram. And Larson, I think,'s been good for the Oilers, but I keep on seeing stuff from Oilers fans

that are like, Adam Larson's numbers versus what Mark Fain did. And I'm like, he's going to be, He's clearly not elite. I don't think he's a first pairing guy. I think he's helped, but they're already sort of nitpicking what his contribution is because I think they think that they'd be even better than they are if Hall was still there.

Well, if they had Hall, right. Like if they had Hall and Lovejoy, they would be better. And also, I think the Taylor Hall revisionist history is happening because there was also a thought that Hall goes so you sign Luchich, and Luchich is not worked out. So now there's a real sort of nostalgic love. best for Hall. He's not even okay, but he's getting criticism for not being able to play with

Connor, which is the whole point he was bought there for. And also because Connor, Connor keeps on getting like his ass kicked in every game. And the whole reason you look at this big six-foot-six lug on the bench. You're like, what? You're telling me that Milan-Lucci is not deterring people from hitting another guy in the ice. Yeah. Wow. The point is is he's getting criticism. I think there's a little bit of a revisionist love for Hall. Okay. Weber versus Suban, Weber started out the year playing like Suban, basically, and putting up an enormous amount of points. He's not doing it anymore, but he's still obviously solidified

that D in front of Price, and Price puts him over every time he gets a chance to as being a better leader than the guy who left. He doesn't really say Suban directly, but we all know what he means. And the Predators aren't a playoff team right now as we do this show, I think. And I think they're a point out. Yeah. Yeah, they're about to point out around that. And Suban's not had the best season. So I would say, he's been okay. He's picked it out. He's been good since Weber stopped being good, pretty much. As we, as we predicted, in the short term, the trade could be even or even a little bit better for the HABs. In the long term, still a trade that I think the predators are going to feel pretty good about themselves having made.

Wait, what did you want to get my impression on? I had some impressions I was going to do. What's the deal with Stamco's? I mean, come on. Can you do Bill Clinton talking about the Shea Weber trade? Bill Clinton. Let me tell you something. Oh, wow.

Hey, it's President Bill Clinton in the room. What did you think about the Shea Weber trade, sir? Shea Weber is an unbelievable player I feel like I'm slipping into Jesse Jackson as opposed to Bill Clinton I didn't rehearse this earlier with Hillary I'm doing the thumb thing for the listeners

so it looks better visually It's great thank you Mr. President Okay goodbye Anything you want to add to any of those trades or signings? The Stamco signing was always dangerous because of how his production had dropped off since the leg thing.

And then, not that the knee thing that happened to him this year was related to it, but that was like the one thing you worried about. It was like maybe they would let him walk because maybe he's not ever going to be the same guy he was before the leg injury. And also the cap implications. Yeah, I mean, they got him for a price that was good for the cab. So, I mean, none of us thought that was a bad signing or anything. But, like, that was the one thing. It was like, how is he going to hold up even though he's still super young and in his prime?

and now you're just like, is he going to miss like, he's like, he's like forward carry price where like every other year now he's going to miss like three months? I don't know. I again, I think the hometown discount made it a smart signing I'm a little I'll have been, I'm a little surprised he stayed.

I really thought that you know. There's one year too soon for Toronto. Yeah, it was one year too soon for Toronto but it was I really kind of bought into the idea that him and Cooper didn't get along all that well and that was going to be a determining factor in him maybe leaving. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing.

Like, he must have, he must have, like, talk to Yomir Yager about taxes and how much you're going to make in Toronto versus how much you're going to make in the state of Florida. And he was like, well, I'm in a good spot. I'm going to make more money. Plus, Coop seems to be able to smooth over things with a lot of people, including Drew Ann. I always pictured that conversation where Coop's, like, chewing gum, like Michael Keaton does

all the time. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're going to play. Yeah, you'll, why he's time, yeah. You want to sign with Toronto? You want to get nuts? Let's get nuts. Yeah, I'm going to give me more ice time I think you're a good guy

And then there's a giant Michael Keaton dresses a bird bag of them I don't think he should give him any more eyes time I'm just fuck that guy That guy's knees are going to give out Yeah, it's just you and me now, Coupe So you would do the Taylor Hall trade over again If I were the Oilers or the Devils You cared about the Oilers, as a Devils fan

You feel good stuff Oh yeah, I would because I know the defense has been a problem And it's been a horrific season for Corey Schneider because of it, for the most part. But you had, it was a barren wasteland up front as far as guys that actually put the fear of God in you from an offensive standpoint. I agree. I think, I think Hall's. Now, would I have preferred them trade Larson for a center?

Yeah. Yeah, you would have rather take, you would you, you would have rather Newton Hopkins say than Taylor Hall? Yeah. And I wonder now that I say that out loud whether I would have preferred Dushan to Taylor Hall. Yeah, I know, right? I think yeah. I feel like... You'd rather have the center, I think.

The Taylor Hall's been so good. I feel like Dushan might have been the proxy for Taylor Hall in that scenario, only because of like their draft standing and their potential in that whole thing. Like if they offered McKinnon for Larson, I do it in the millisecond, right? I mean, I think you would take any of those guys for Larson, but like you'd rather have I think you'd rather have Dushain. I like Nugent Hopkins a lot, but I don't think I would have taken him for Larson.

I'm still skeptical on McKinnon a little bit. Yeah, he's a weird one. I picked him in fantasy. I thought he'd have a real big season, but I can't, he's one of those guys that you can't figure out whether it's him or this, you know. Yeah, I thought it was wah.

Swallowing water on the Titanic, as it were, for the last couple seasons. Right, it's like Edmonton, where everyone gets at, like Justin Schultz now is one of the 13 best defensemen in the NHL. Right, yeah. Wow, what happened? Oh, yeah, Abington.

Taylor Hall. Yeah, Tyson Barry might be Bobby fucking Orr for all we know, but he's stuck in Colorado. He's been listening to some overweight French-Canadian guy tell him how he sucks for the last two years. That's probably not good for your game. This guy sucks. Oh, ho. Might as well be Len Barry out there, huh? Might as well be Barry Obama.

He doesn't know how to play, hockey. He is too passive. Oh, ho, ho, ho, you skate like Barry Williams, aka Greg Brady. You were... Oh, speaking of which, number four on my list is Patrick Gwa just up and quits. That's one of my memories in 2016. I was in Rio when it happened. I had a Barry Trott's joke.

I could, I doesn't matter. I couldn't believe... I'm sorry. He will not stick his neck out for anybody. Oh, Jesus. Sorry, I was worth it. I'm sorry. Okay.

One of the listeners said I always cut people off in the show, and I think I just did it right there. Patrick Wilde just up and quits. We all knew it would have... He was not going to coach Colorado at some point. Yeah, but not like that. No one knew that it was going to happen in the manner in which it did. Completely cut the legs out from them for this season. Jared Bettner seems like a good guy is one everywhere else he's coached,

completely over his head at this point with that team. And really, you're dealing with a bunch of guys that I think are, like you said, the Edmonton Oilers of the Midwest. They're the new Oilers. So others are figuring it out. Yeah. And so you have a bunch of guys whose confidence is shot, and then their coach quits.

And then it's like Chaos City and they come into the season and they don't succeed and you're like, oh shit, here we go again. And now it's all doldrums again. So I don't know what they do there. Although I do think I know what they do there, which stay tuned for the 2017 predictions coming up in a few moments. Okay. My other takeaway is that Phil Kessel is, even though he's still young, is the new Tame Usilani. He's going to be the guy, no matter what he does, that we're always going to be like, Phil forever, fill exclamation point. That's our new team of forever.

It's Phil! I love that tweet. It's a good tweet. Yeah. He's, he won the consmithe in my heart, which is the only, the only consmite you need, fellas. If you're out there playing hockey, you just want the consmite of my heart. In the playoffs of my heart, you are the left ventricle. I can't fucking believe Cosby won the consmites.

All these fucking people that vote for these goddamn awards. It's a king making award. Yes, yes, exactly what it is. So there's that. Him getting left off Team USA, Team USA taking the dump, his hilarious tweet where he thought They should have been somewhere, but he can't put his finger on it. Like, Phil really came out of his shell in the last year, and I believe, like, people were always sort of endeared to him anyway in Toronto because they felt like he was getting shit on unfairly. But then he goes to Pittsburgh, wins the cup.

He's hilarious. He's good in the Christmas parody videos that Penguins do. Phil. Phil is the new Tamu. It's three people who you thank for Phil. Four people, actually. The first is Jim Rutherford, obviously, for acquiring him. I just saw your shirt, by the way.

Thank you. It's Mike Tyson's Punchout. It's all the characters from Mike Tyson's Punchout. Wait, hold on. Open up that shirt. We're going to get a picture of this. Look at that. Oh, yeah, that's perfect.

Um, what the hell was? Oh, Phil, right. So, uh, you thank Rutherford for acquiring him. You thank Ovechkin for taking his picture at the All-Star draft and making everybody feel bad for Phil. That's sort of the genesis of. of the of the I feel sad for Phil comeback, right? Mm-hmm. And then you think Steve Simmons and Dave Feshuk of the Toronto media.

Who's Steve Feshachuk? Dave Feschuk's the guy who wrote the story about the Toronto coach that went to the coaches clinic and told stories about how Phil doesn't follow game plans and shit like that. Do you remember that story? But he's also a guy who's written several critical stories of how Kessel had to go and how it's great that he went. And then Simmons obviously had the hot dog story. there are two representatives of the Toronto media who's constant dumping on Kessel

turned him into a cult favorite amongst hockey fans and really made him the man he is today, I think. Who's going to be the guy? I keep saying it's to be Neelander, is going to be the new guy that they eventually turn on and force out of there for some reason. Oh, that's a great question. It's Austin Matthews. It's so great. I mean, like, I was

talking to somebody just before about my theory that Marner being a Canadian kid. Oh, he's locked in. He's good. And being basically like Johnny Johnny excitement to Matthew's more stoic Jonathan Taves like, Angeo-Batar-like play. I mean, Matthews, granted,

does some amazing things skill-wise in the game, but it's less velocity as it is sort of amazing stick work, right? That's what she said. Thank you. Wow. Yes. Appealed back to layers on that one. So I think they're going to love Marner

and that Matthews will be criticized once the team doesn't win all the things that they think they're going to win. I don't know. I just, I don't know. Kneelander. I'll tell you this about Mitch Motter. Guy comes to plays every night.

Blazing skates of speed. I'm going to dare a boy. But this Austin Matthews, this is the problem when you draft kids from the desert in America versus from Stoville. He doesn't know how to play good. He doesn't play all the time good.

I'm sick and tired of looking at his face. Give Martin of the puck. More. He's tough. Grit. So in your mind, Pierre McGuire is the brother from there's something about Mary. So that was actually Don Cherry. I thought it was Pierre.

No, Pierre McGuire is different. No, it's the same. Yeah, she, yeah. It's the same voice that literally just says different things. Here, Don Cherry, go down to dare you, boy, bitch, potter, pina, p.merem. Pierre McGuire. Of course, we don't know that Austin Matthews grew up in Scouts. It went to the junior coyotes.

Brinks and Baines. That's all that was missing from that. Holy Christ. You next or my next? My next. You're next. Wait, is it? How many of you done so far?

I don't know. I did two. Wa? You did Waugh and you did the trades and stuff. I just did Kessel, so I guess it's true. Oh, yeah. So the All-Star game is unsucked. And obviously, talking about the John Scott thing, I won't bring it up again,

because you guys are always confusing me of self-lagulating myself. Wait, what? What? Oh, self... Oh, sorry. What did you think I said? I think you're referring to what I walked in on earlier in the bathroom when you're... No, and I've always been fascinated by that notion.

Whenever I read my first letters to Penhouse, I said, wow, that's... Hey. You can just... You've got to really work for it done. Maybe you want to lose weight, to be honest with you. I don't think it's weight. I think it's just all flexibility. Yeah.

I think you can be like, you can be heavy and you can get it done. I don't know. Look at my belly. I'm like, I don't know if I can get... I mean, I could see it. Let's not, let's not, I mean, put that out there. When's the last time you'd look down in the shower and you suck? That's always one of the classic jokes. The John Scott thing is great. It was great for hockey.

It's a storybook. They're going to make a movie. Mitch Album's going to write it. So I imagine at some point it's going to involve John Scott talking to an elderly neighbor about God. Yeah, it's going to be bad. But the three-on-three overtime was sort of overshadowed by it. 3-on-3 format was sort of overshadowed by it a little bit. And, like, that was super fun. And the division versus division thing was super fun.

They found a way to make it more compelling. And they found a way to keep these guys honest because usually in the All-Star game, the hungover guys on Sunday can kind of hide and not have to really participate. But they know that in 3-on-3 you got to skate. You can't fake it. See, as a hungover guy sometimes,

I don't like that aspect of it. I like to hide while I balance myself out. for maybe like a couple of shifts. This is bullshit. I should have to like track down. Chris LaTang if had a good time in Columbus. They did a good job. They had a good time.

And the Saturday night stuff's still great. And now they fix Sunday. So the All-Star game was unsucked. They got to fix the skills a little bit, though. Like I can't like as much as I enjoy watching Henrik Sidene make a 60-foot aerial pass into a tiny net. Like it's fucking dull. Watching dudes one-time a puck over like a six-inch bar. Everything you're talking.

talking about is one event so yeah I know yeah yeah yeah like that event but that event takes like 30 minutes that one and like I know they want to do like the slam-dunk contest type thing with the breakaways no don't touch it why do you like that it's so much fun it's creativity it's chubaka masks and yager mullets and goofy shit like the but I know there's a finite number of things you can do with the puck I know that's what it is like you know like if you can do like a lacrosse thing whip it around your head like that's cool but like I just feel like you're really like seriously like last year we had Suban and we had Yager, we're probably not going to have those guys this year. You're going to have

like dull as duds, big dull duds coming out there and doing like, you're going to have all the kids. Sunglasses. And they just give the best, you know, the MVP or whatever to the home guy. Like they give it to Ryan Johansson and Columbus. Fuck. I think the biggest problem I have with the breakaway challenge, the goofy, goofy prop comedy one is unlike the slam dunk competition, it's kind of hard to score. So now you're giving points to attempts at things. versus actual like thunderous dunks and I think that's the difference between hockey and basketball to that end like the jake for a check johnny goddrault thing was awesome yeah but like everything else was just kind of i don't know i just i just yeah like ovechkin's kind of horrible at it but he's

also kind of great at it like he does some crazy shit that never actually works yeah you know what me yeah it's like in the NBA it's like they do this crazy shit and then they try it five times and the fifth time they get it but like ovechkin does it like three times and it never works but it's really cool to watch one of like the hallmark moments of being a kid was at like one of the first ex games when Tony Hawk did a Ollie kickflip? 720 on the ramp on the half pipe

and I swear to God it took him 42 fucking tries to get it and then he did it and like everybody rushed him and hugged him and I'm like he's one for 42 at this like why is this like oh bro you don't get it you don't bored and I'm You don't get it you don't board you know why because that's in the spirit of those

skate videos that you always see it like trendy bars that they have on like in the background it's like skateboarding videos and it's like It's like they show these amazing stunts that guys do. And you know it's like attempt 175. Right, but edit that shit out for me. Like it was amazing. Like you had to keep going back up the ramp and it was like, oh, and he goes back up the ramp and oh.

Whatever. All right, Brody, that's vamp, man. Tony's going to walk up the hill again. Anyways, did you guys try Reddillary Mountain do yet? It makes your piss red. It's awesome. Oh, dude. That's so gnarly.

All right, number three. This is a thing that can't happen, but it's my big takeaway, because I, as a young man growing up on the mean streets in New Jersey, I got my hockey from ESPN. That's where I always got ESPN, too, Alberman, Pito, gentlemen that have been here, Linda Cohn, gentlewoman that's been here. Future guest John Buccigrass probably as well. Oh, I can't be in the room for that one. I need ESPN after watching the World Cup to take over the broadcasting. Maybe not entirely. Maybe they can do the NBA where some's on TNT, some's on, ums, what told me how to talk.

Some is on NBC. Like just ESPN. It's not necessarily that I want to hear John Butchergrass say yo ding dong six fucking times a game. But like their broadcast is good. I feel like they don't have, like they have Darren Pang. They don't have like, Butcher Ross is annoying. They boil it down to, like, to Barry Melrose, who's not good. I'm not saying he's good or anything.

But, like, you have weeks. You have butchagra. All right. Not butchagross. Who was the Steve Levy? Yeah. Like, all those, if you just boil it down to the good ones, studio show is fine.

And I know you don't want to have Brett Hall talk about anything, but Olympic hockey. Only Olympic hockey and in Chelios, yeah. But, like, I just like, I like the product so much better. And I, I know the TV dealers are run out for, like, four or five more years or something like that. I just, I just, I, my takeaway is, in your mind, you, you, you, you, you, you don't, You don't think, you think everything was awesome when you were young and you see it when you get older and you're like, oh, that wasn't that great. But no, I need ESPN back. It's more of a you don't know what you got until it's gone.

And listen, it's not, I think there's some nostalgia that overwashes the fact that they basically gave the NHL's time slots to poker. And really, they diminished the coverage of the NHL. And there are parts of ESPN that could have promoted it that didn't, and it doesn't get on the chat shows and things like that. So, like, I think that there are problems of the SPS. Stephen A. Smith. Thank you. Talked about hockey at the Constitution. Right.

You're talking about hockey in the Constitution, right. It's in the Declaration of Independence that you can fire this man. Right. Oh, right. We're Tortorella. Yeah. That was great. You never get Tony and Wilbon talking hockey.

When Bayliss was there, he wouldn't talk hockey? I wonder what sort of. thing LeBron might do if he was in hockey. Probably fall down a lot. That's actually the perfect show for the basketball hockey memes if they ever actually wanted to get hockey involved. Oh, look at this last night. Stephen Stanko's

took a puck in the mouth. LeBron got chalk in his eyes and missed two weeks. Yeah, and also because first take was always like the shitty hot take one where they, like, Bayliss, I listen to an interview with Bayliss where he's like, we just go into the studio and we talk. We never really think about what we're going to say or try to, you know,

think of, like, controversial things. to say. Meanwhile, it's like, Stamco's Mrs. Pellney shot, lightning loose. Stephen Stamcoe should burn all of his sticks. Get rid of him all because he doesn't belong playing hockey. He belongs sweeping up after us in this studio. It's just funny stupid. Where are those shows

going to be in 10 years? Because they're going to have to keep up, like, amping it up to the takes. By the way, my skip bailiffs, LeBron is garbage. Matthew McConaughey. Y'all know what I love to do. I love Kill Dragons. Matthew McConaug. Yeah, completely different.

Stevenstam coast is garbage. I guess if you've learned nothing else from this year on Puck's Soup, nine impressions just deployed differently. Just tweak them a little. Just tweak them a little bit. My next one is sort of related to that ESPN thing, the World Cup of Hokie. Oh, burn.

There was a lot of things loved about the World Cup. They were all on Team North America. The rest of it, I didn't like it so much. No, listen, it's fine for what it was. It didn't create much buzz. It was sort of depressing to see scores of empty seats at games. It didn't involve the USA, Canada or team North America. The players seemed to like it.

There wasn't really a lot of great hockey. And the Americans sucked. Had an All-Star game feel where dudes were kind of like, eh. There was no intensity to it. Bad ice. I mean, undeniable great things came from it. The resurgence of Ralph Kruger. The team Europe story was great.

Team North America's jerseys were great. Watching those kids play was great. Everyone could not stop talking about Ralph Kruger throughout the entire NHL season. No one cares about Ralph Kruger. During the tournament though, he was a big deal. It's like, oh, I remember this guy and now he got boned by the oilers and now looking at him. These guys had a chance to beat Canada.

I had to think for a second, I was like, Ralph Kruger? Oh, right, Ralph Kruger. Yeah, not Marcus Kruger. That's what I mean. I was like another Swedish Kruger. But overall, it's like one of those things where they're going to screw up the things that worked by going to this another format

where they're going to have like actual other countries involved with like playing games and shit. And like I'd watch Team North America play a billion times before Kazakhstan. Boles my mind they're not going to do that the next time. But overall it's it was it was a pretty fun time that I'm sure my employer regrets having paid for me to cover. Two weeks in a hotel at Leahy in Toronto.

All that money just to fight over the thermostat for two weeks. 66 degrees. So the World Cup of hockey was one of the things I'll tell you. take away from this this year uh the the second the last thing that i figured out and it's it's it's it's tough i'm gonna let you guys know shouldn't this be your last thing by the way no i only have one left right okay oh right okay yeah i'm sorry i know numbers jesus christ he's been he's been he's been drinking in the office today all day all right folks breaking news puck suit podcast Alex lovetchkin's done it's over

guys go off the cliff at different times and Alex Ovechkin who's been a 50 goal guy forever turned 31 this year he's got 14 goals and 31 games he's got 23 points and 31 games he's got a lot of mileage on him his shot totals per game he's gone from like 5 to like 3.9

he's not putting the puck in the net anymore and this is good because before the season I wrote that the one thing you don't have to worry about for the Washington Capitals is Alex Ovechkin. He can just take his stats to the bank. It's about everybody else around them. Turns out, I was wrong. He's on pace for

30 goals, which is still fine, but we got to face facts, folks. Alex Ovechkin is going to be playing in the KHL in about two years and just getting free money. We are talking about Dale Hunter is my coach-esque totals for OV. This is rough. From the goal scoring perspective. Like, you go back through his

most recent years and if it was the in-and-out list, it would say, out 2016 Alex Ovechkin in 2017 you've getting his nuts off

in and out out in and out it's just not good out in Tinder Outlander

Tinder Indesign in design what is this show Inchworms My last one of course An offense

of star in this league who everybody assumed was one thing but ended up being another, Sidney Crosby is done as you know. Beginning of 2016, even as the coaching change had happened and he started to see lips on the radar

or on the EKG of life from Sid, we all know he was done. I mean, he's totally done. All those stories and earlier this season tell us that of course he is done, done, and then he winds up having the greatest year of his career in total. Oh, I think you were just admitting he was done because he only has to score goals now, and he's not a playmaker anymore.

No. He's still pretty good, I guess. That's, uh, that's bold. That's your takeaway is that Sidney Crosby's good when he's really done. But you know what? That's okay. I'm here to give people the truth. One, Alex Ovechkin's done.

And the last one, Las Vegas isn't going to work. You son of a bitch. It's not. As a franchise or as a team? As a franchise. You can just see it. they're they're just what have you seen at any stage of any reveal that tells you that they're going to be successful and or good like i'm not saying they're going to fold in five years the helmet looks like a v i actually dude i was walking to the bus i got a block from the bus today and a guy walked past me wearing a Vegas hoodie like a Great, right?

Yeah. So they're selling shit. Yeah. But man, I just, I feel like the, the ownership management, it's going to be an Arizona Coyotes East. Oh, don't even with that. I just, like, they're not going to fold. But they're going to have people in this.

They're going to have more people in the stands than they do in Glendale. Are they? Yeah, they're going to pay for the building. If they don't, if they don't get fans to buy and keep buying season tickets, you have all the casinos there to be like, hey, here's your gin and tonic you waiting for. Also, a couple of. Duckets to the Golden Knights tonight. Duckets.

That's such a central Jersey term. My buddy, my buddy went to the Rutgers calls them Duckets. Duckets. Yeah. Like, they're not, like,

just, I, I, I, there's, there's, there's, there's,

there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, I think if you're in Vegas,

it's going to be like Winnipeg, where eventually people just stop going. Well, I guess we'll stay tuned for my 2017 prediction. There you go. 2016 in total. What a year.

Yeah. R-IP Gordy Howell, by the way. It wasn't important to warn him. Again, and he mentioned on either of our lists. And we gave, I gave Sports Illustrated, like, total shit for not including them in, like, their year-end video. And it's like, we have 10 stories, and none of them involved Gordy Howell. But, like, we're doing bits. I know.

I can't do a bit about Alan Thick dying. That's not funny for it. All right, for the next half hour of the show, we're going to try and make you cry. Oh, I can do it. Show me that coffin of you. Oh, my God. What? What's wrong?

Don't waste another minute on your skating You see the Foxxie? I'm sorry? I'm sorry I do that. I'm like an enabler. Because you, I know you don't want to be a horrible person, but then I do that and then you're like enabled to be horrible. See, the problem is you wrote me in with song parodies.

That's my, that's my weakness. Like if it's like Harambe, I'm in. I don't know any other words to the song, Show me, that's my... That was another... The Harambe was another. a huge win for you this year, wasn't it? I was like, I was, I was in the fringe of the Harambe, Harambe Twitter. Vince Scully, the O'Dell Beckel and Lena Dunham thing, and the fact that I voted seven times

for Hillary Clinton. Oh, yeah, that was the other thing. What a year for you on social. Just a great year of just obvious shows. Can I ask you an inside baseball question? Did it amount to any increase in followers? I don't know. I don't really pay super close attention.

Or pay for them. Like, I feel like, yeah, I know. people to pay for all the things you could ever fucking spend your money on i don't know like i never notice i only notice when i'm getting to like when i have like something point nine i have like 61.9.62 point because i just want to get the 69 000 followers and then just delete my twitter walk away let's just go out go out on top the pew die pie of on top and the bottom actually um all right we're going to move on to predictions for 2017 before we get to so unless you want to do you want to do some of the readers 2016 things before we look to the future well we have reader things

we do i don't know we had reader things i asked the Puck Soup listeners, what was your favorite takeaway is from 2016? Japer's Rinkar, good friend, says, when John Totorello went from the village idiot to genius in less than three months. Holiday Offside said Matthew's four-gold debut,

that was a hell of a thing. Jeremy said, when Ottawa fired Dave Cameron and Reddit got it to the top of R-slash-all, the top post on the entire site. Boy, who can forget that? Well, I mean, think about that, though.

It's like... That's amazing. This is a good one from Andrew's side bottom. Hey, now. Hey, that's a interesting position. The Punjabi Hockey Night in Canada. Oh, the Bonino, Bonino, Bonino guy.

That's been a good year for that guy. I made Vin Scully jokes. That guy had a call on this and the Cup final. That guy's having a better year for his brand. Ken Clark says, The Puck Daddy tweet up during the All-Star Game weekend. Got to meet you and many of my hockey Twitter friends. That's really sweet.

I'm going to make a little heart sign right now. Jolly St. Mick says McDavid living up to the high and the Oilers finally maybe Dear God hopefully turning north. But Sean Leahy reminds us that the Oilers also bestowed upon us the most horrific mascot in the history of the National Hockey League. Oh, the cat. Their cat. Oh, I forgot about that cat.

Yeah, their mascot cat. I wrote an entire fan fiction thing for one of my sites. Northern Lynx, I believe it was. Yeah, like I gave him a backstory where he was like Wolverine and he was like a genetic freak that just lived in the backwoods of Alberta chopping down trees. Like Sabreto. One of those, one of those guys. I love the fact that they debuted the mascot,

everybody freaked out, it was legitimately scary, and they actually said, well, we're going to tone down its features so it doesn't scare kids anymore. Oh, did they? Yeah, they did. Oh, I never saw the updated version of it. There's no way to tone down. That's like saying, we understand that the backlash

against the proto-alien that burst out of the woman's chest, the reaction to that has been a little bit off-putting, so we're going to soften its features a little bit. Maybe put some caps on those teeth. We actually CGIed the ferret from kindergarten cop into that scene, so it's cuter. What a reference. No, you can pet it. Go ahead.

I was under the giant, actually. Jen Neal says nerd bloggers. I would agree with that. Nerd bloggers, big year for nerd bloggers. Jeremy Roanick, taking a run at all the nerd bloggers who got John Scott into the All-Star game and other people taking a shot at nerd bloggers for their analytic takes. I thought that was like a website, nerd bloggers. Brian Lambert says

recording a perfect 100% intake accuracy for the 10th straight year I think he's at 99% we disproved his diehard take last episode His die hard take is bad Gordon H saying Jay Rose Hill and Brian McGratton crossing an ocean to play in the UK

and still fighting each other The UK league by the way has become the home for wayward former enforcers F figures Which is kind of nice A bunch of what do they call the English people over there again. A bunch of hooligans.

A bunch of hooligans. Right, I got over to Leicester City and watch my McGratham pound down with my, with my Joe Rosehill. I purchased season tickets to watch Paul Bissanet. Welcome to Mike and the British Mad Dog.

And good. Top of the morning everybody. How are you today? Dog. I got to have a spot of tea with me Diet Coke. All right, Mikey. Man City versus Chelsea. What's the rating?

4.4. I really can't do a British. Oh, I definitely give our season preview two stars. That was in like of the Madhawk episode. Jesus, sorry about that to everybody. Nicholas Jensen. Phil Kessel traded in 2015. The HBK line, awkward interview, Stanley Cup,

World Cup roster of that tweet. What a year? I totally agree. What was the awkward interview? the P.m. McGuire one with the How's your breath? Oh yeah. What a fucking weirdo.

It's so bad. Why is he always on my TV? Oh, God. He's so... How's your breath? Who asked that question after that game? Oh. Momau and Don, when I thought

Ken Holland was still good. Yeah, that was the thing. Mike Pankowski. This is actually the 2016 memories, not 2014 memories. Mike Pankowski, Islanders fans ending the year, loving the white SUV more than Kathy and Snow. And finally, Mr. Jones, the team TNA Love Fest paired with World Cup hate, the perfect amount of savory and sweet. I would agree. I think there's going to be people that will always, because the thing about it is that, like, once we get to a point where Matthew,

and McDavid and all these guys are winning cups and winning the awards and they're the ones that are now in the position that's Sid Novier and everything. We're gonna look back of that team. There's be like a 30 for 30 on TNA at some point.

Talk about like how we had. Oh, it was the greatest assemblage of young talent the hockey world. It's ever seen off the pond. 48-year-old Austin Matthews, totally bald. Just sitting there. Getting heckled by freaking Jeremy Shapp. And it was really great to be on TNA.

Hold it near andrew to my heart 10 years before I got running out of Toronto for not being a good Ontario boy. Connor McDavid's like, yeah, I, you know, it was tough for my career to end at the age of 25 from all the hits that I took because Milan Lucci just didn't protect me. But I'll always have the World Cup. Why didn't you protect me, Milan? I'm right into the camera. Why? Why, Milan?

That's what you were brought there for. I can't barely walk without pain. Jesus Patrick Lines, like I wanted to be on that team But they would not let me Even though I am the best of all time In my sport

It does sound like him Thank you Have you watched Eddie the Eagle 25 times like I have already on HBO I've seen it a few times on HBO There's like a I think he's a Norwegian guy He like rides the elevator with at the end For the last jump

And he's like I am the best skier in the world And you and I We were like one and 11 on the clock and he has like that voice. It's totally. It's great. The Patrick Lale impression is basically you have to be monotone and kind of sort of boring, but say the most crazy incendiary things.

I am a hockey player and I am really good and I will actually eat your children for breakfast. Do you think you might be able to hit 50 this year, Patrick? I, and, you know, sometimes I will shoot the puck and play as good as I can, but of course I am the son of Christ. I play a hockey is better than most people that are not named Gratzky, but, you know. Oh. So Patrick, do you think this team can make the playoffs? You know, I have a good team here.

We work hard. We do our best. We go out there and we try to play for a full 60. I have a 13-inch penis. And it's a very good at sex, and I have a lot of sex with a lot of women. And, yeah, we just need two points tonight. What do you think? Playoff spot for you guys this year?

Well, I think maybe if you play all right, we could maybe make the playoffs. But, you know, I did invent a flying car and intend to name myself, of Europe at some point, but, you know, playoffs are in sight, I think. Patrick, any chance of the Rookie of the Year award for you? I don't really think about the awards. I just want to go out there and play my best, whether I'm 18, 19, 32. It's like the time when I invented paprika. I just wanted to do my best and make a good spice, and, you know, that's all that matters.

Perseca for your poppy course. In 2017, a lot's going to happen in the world of hockey, and Dave Lowe's and I have some predictions to make about the upcoming year in sport. Okay. You go first this time. All right. I don't really frame them all as predictions. All right, that's fine.

More like things I kind of want to see. Things you'd like to see and or predictions. Outdoor game in mother effing Dallas, Texas. Nice. So in the Cowboy Stadium or at a local football stadium where they actually can fill it. Fuck. TCU. They can fill it.

I'm telling you. They can fill it. They can fill that stadium. Are you going to tarp off any of the seats in the upper deck like the Panthers do? They're going to play the Blackhawks, obviously. They have to play the Black Hawk. on the outdoor games. So that's going to be half the stadium.

And then it's, people will go. It's an event. It's Jerry World. It's a big stadium. It's an opportunity for fans that haven't seen the stadium yet that want to go see it.

There'll be a mecca for people from around Texas to come and see a game. Like Oklahoma City will come show up and see the game. Right. And like, again, even when Dallas is bad, they're still fun. It would be awesome. It would be great.

And obviously it's not going to happen. That's why it can't really be a prediction when you know it's not going to happen. But that's, I would love... Like, imagine, like, you know that little like, that little, like, mall area where the players walk through to get to the locker room, and you can, like, imagine.

Like, it's like Dallas is playing Chicago, and, like, Patrick, uh, Patrick Sharper still be there. No, he might not be there. Tyler Sagan just stops off and gets, like, some Sabaro on the way to the ring. It'd be awesome, because you know they would do it.

And he runs back during the game because they didn't give him a receipt, so you can get a free meal. Why is that? Is he cheap? No, it was just the receipt policy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Somebody tweeted at us about what that policy exists for, right? They said it was a way for... The track employees. To track employees to make sure that they didn't steal shit, right? That was the thing? I don't know. How much pizza could you possibly steal in a one-eight-hour shift?

That sounds like a challenge. My first prediction is, of course, that Vegas is going to be a huge success. Not only by the end of 2016, mark this down, cut this audio right now. Not only by the end of 2016 will they be a playoff bubble team with the assemblage of talent they're getting from this expansion draft. Oh, my God. ...damed to make them competitive as soon as possible. possible. Two to three great goalies. In fact, I might suggest

their fan base. You may want to call yourselves the third goalie, because you're going to have three great golies. Maybe the fourth goalie, yeah. You're going to have a solid defense. I think they're going to spend some money and get some players up front to help them immediately. Bill Foley just spent $500 million to buy this team. He wants them to be competitive

immediately. He doesn't have a chance to leave to be the Secretary of the Army. He's going to have to go and stay the course with this Vegas team. immediately competitive, and why Dave Lowe's? I'll tell you why, because my boldest prediction I am making right now is that Ken Hitchcock will be the first coach of the Las Vegas Golden Knights. I don't think any of that's going to happen.

I think that's just wild, drunken speculation from you, sir. Someone's going to put their balls on the line and figure out what's going to happen in 2017. Who do you think their goalies are going to be? Somebody from the lightning. And... So Ben Bishop. Maybe.

Somebody for the lightning. I don't know. I feel like they're not going to spend. I think they're going to trade Bishop before the deadline. I think it's going to be Scott Darling. I think that's going to be one of their two golies. I'm going to find someone better than Scott Darling, you'd be the goalie. Are they?

Yeah. Rimer. Yet that you said somebody better. Oh, Jesus. Oh, dude. I love Scott Darling. All right. So Vegas contender straight away is my first prediction.

Okay, he's got one year left on his deal. The time to strike is now. John Tavares asks for a trade. Because fuck, we got to get him out of there before it's too late. Again, this is like the SEAL Team 6 mission that we need to do. Who are we going to save from these teams as a SEAL Team 6? But like, again, this is another one of these things that I know isn't going to happen because from everything that everyone's ever told me about John Tavares,

like he's a fan of the relative anonymity that it comes from being the other hockey team and the city doesn't care that much about hockey. On top of that, he's also a guy like Stamcoast that wants to see his franchise win He sees himself as the face of the franchise And wants to be there when they win But I mean like Stamcoast is in a much better spot In terms of like where the team is

How good it is like the islanders are just a fucking train wreck Do you think that he'd leave for Toronto Or he'd ask to go to Toronto? No, I think he would go there in two years though I don't think he's not going to ask for a trade But like if But I think I I'm predicting right now

I'm gonna see I'll see it makes so much sense. It's like the Rick Nash, Kevin Shattonkirk trade that should have happened at some point over the summer that never did. It makes so much sense

that's probably not going to happen. What will happen when the Rangers sign him? I mean, you probably got to put him behind Stepon as the number two center because he just doesn't have that two-way game that Derek does. Step. Step on, Mattow. Kind of related again

to your prediction for 2017. Vegas signs John Tobaris. The New York Islanders in Colorado Avalanche, clean the slate. Drain the swamp, as it were, total annihilation. Oh, so you think they're going to get rid of Tavarist then? No. Out goes snow. Oh, that kind of.

Out goes cap. Out goes sackick. Out goes Bedner. Oh, they can't get rid of Bedner. Total clean sweep. Drain the swamp with those two franchises. The new owners for the Brooklyn Islanders say, Enough is enough.

We're going to get on our new people. They rehire Bill Torrey. Brian Trachey, coach. Yeah. And I think Colorado at this point knows that they're in a position where they have to make some difficult decisions and don't trust Joe Sackick to be the guy to make them. Total clean sweep, total annihilation, scorched earth, what have you, Colorado and New York. Wow. So just front office stuff, not necessarily.

No, yeah. It's not a player's fault. It's totally the player's fault in Colorado. All right. 2017 this is a thing I'm rooting for as well because the same way you want to see the blue jackets fail but won't admit it I want to see the Florida Panthers fail

and I admit it because I'm just I'm annoyed I'm annoyed at everything they do the fucking front office it's not like an analytics thing where it's like watch their fucking whole attitude the whole fucking guy going to go work for fucking Trump

it's all there I knew the whole point of this was I was I was gonna get the best secretary of the army that we've ever seen in this country and he's going to be a good man and he's going to be a hockey owner. He's actually going to be the secretary of music because his last name was Viola, so Trump thought he played the Viola. It's the secretary of music.

I just, the firing of... Mr. Viola, I want you to be my secretary army. This is Frank Viola. I don't know what you're talking about, but if you need someone to teach you the circle change, click. That was Joe McGrain. Joe McGrane, you met with the circle change. But the side note is the real reason for it, not the Trump,

Viola thing is if Florida's out of it, you know what that means. What does that mean? Yager sweepstakes. Yager might, I mean, this is pretty much what he does in the league at this point. He plays for a team. If it's good, it goes to the playoffs. He's happy. If not, they trade him for a third round pick. And then he goes to somewhere else. And that team gets like an instant Yager boost thing. I really should have just gotten straight to the point and said Yager in Vegas,

because that's probably the easiest call to make for next year. Oh my God. He's going to sign a six-year deal. And they're going to sell roughly a billion dollars in Yager, Vegas. jerseys. Imagine you're just like, I wonder about casino he likes the most. I wonder like what's his... He's going to get there and they're going to be like, he's going to like be like, why is my number different?

They're like, oh, we retired 68, so we had to give you 69. And he's like, oh, okay. And then you're just like, we're in the money. We're selling jerseys. Everybody wants a Yager 69 today. It'd be great if like Yager somehow didn't know the joke.

And he's just like, why is everybody buying my jersey? This is great. They must love me. My next prediction is going to be award-centric. I predict that Matt Murray will be shut out of the top three for the Calder, despite having the numbers that in any other year would earn a goalie, maybe the Calder. But as of a week ago, or last night, depending on your concept of time, he kind of got fucking lit up.

After I gave him the goddamn Calder and the thing I wrote the day before. He got lit up. That's true. But I think his numbers are still going to be great. But it's, I mean, as of right now, you'd have to say that it's line A, Matthews, 1 and then Werenski, and then Murray maybe third or fourth. So if Matt Murray wins 30 games, has like a 929, you don't think he's going to win it. I don't think he's going to win it because I don't know how many of our brethren and sister and know that he's eligible. And also, I think they feel like the accolades he got in the playoffs last year are good enough.

Yeah, somebody actually replied to the thing I wrote and said, oh, you can't give the rookie of the year to a guy with a Stanley Cup ring. Yeah, actually you can. That's not the rule. Horshit Sergei McCaroff type condition that they're putting on his candidacy. Jimmy Howard. People always get met. People always find the fucking, didn't Chris Winky in football win the rookie of the year when he was like 28?

At Florida State, he was like an old man. Even you go back to last year, the Panarin McDavid argument was the fact that McDavid did it as a teenager and Panarin was older and played in the KHL. And it's like, yeah, but who gives a shit? The award doesn't say anything about that. It's the fucking KHL. Like, just because you're awesome in the KHL, doesn't mean you're going to come over to the NHL and have an 80-point season.

Simply one of my favorite. There's a lot of things that the NHL does that are pissy little, you know what kind of moves. And it's one of my favorite things that they do is just like, like, whenever Batman says something, you're just like, oh, you asshole. But you know what? You're saying it because it's for the betterment of hockey, but you're still kind of a dick about it. It's when him and Daly go,

they're like, they're like, Pan Aaron shouldn't be eligible for the Calder because he played in a professional league. And it says right here in the rules that you can't play in a professional professional league and be eligible for the calder and then we're like we don't recognize the khl as a professional league wait did they actually come out and say that yeah i don't remember that at all they don't they don't they don't recognize the khls and a professional no no but they they crap down penarin publicly no no i'm saying people have oh oh not them like people would say panaren shouldn't be able to be eligible for the caller and then they're like well we don't

recognize the khls professional league right like we're talking about like if this if the w a still existed. But even still, like, it's not the fucking pro hockey rookie of the year. It's the fucking NHL rookie of the year. Like, it's your first year in the NHL, whether you're 18 or 24. Murray ain't going to win it anyway, but I don't think he, I don't think he's going to make the top three. The other awards prediction I make the 1B or 2A in this kind of lost by my place. It would have to be your bull.

There's a lot of people that have talked about the Norris Trophy already. There's a lot of people that want to hand it to Shea Weber already. Yeah, it's passed, I think. My prediction is that even though Eric Carlson wins the scoring title yet again for defensemen, much like it was Drew Dowdy's time. Who's it going to be? It's Brent Burns' time. Oh, that's fine.

I wouldn't be mad about that. Totally going to be Brent Burns won in the Norris. Last time I checked Brent Burns was still leading a league in points, though, right? He's second to Carlson. Oh, he's second now? Yeah. Carlson, by the way, should have heart talk, but he won't. But, yeah, it'll be Burns won't the Norris. It's his time to win one.

Maybe it'll turn. Maybe it'll turn by the end of the season. Turned. Okay. It should turn to headman, but, you know, that's fine. All he does is be the best defenseman in hockey half the time. Hmm. Oh, I know. Product of Strawlman.

Sure, whatever. Keep harping on that. All right. Number two, which would have been my number one, if not for the timing of this recording. Number two, Margot Robbie will sit where I am sitting and be a guest on puck soup. Not like on my lap or anything. Like this chair will be empty and we will pull it out for her. And she will sit down and she will regale us with stories about being a hockey fan in Australia,

playing the game in Australia. What it was like when Jared Leto was sending full condoms and boxes to people on the set of suicide squad because he's a fucking weirdo. We'll talk about the weird Esquire interview she did. I think it was Esquire. I have a good 30 minutes with Margot Robbie. We'll learn. We'll ask her why the Rangers of all the teams.

And it'll be a wonderful moment. where we will achieve our goals and our dreams. And then she'll leave like an empty bottle of Red Bull on the table. And be like, why did you leave an empty bottle of Red Bull on table? And she's like, we're bad guys. It's what we do. I was going to say we sell it on eBay for two grand. Oh, yes.

We take it and then we clone an army of Margarabi's. And every week we just have a new Margarabi on. It has like a little stupider like a multiplicity. So you get the one that likes pizza. I like pizza, might. Well, we'll be talking to Margarabi. as soon as she stops licking the wall. What a weird movie that was.

What's the deal with that movie? Next one for me, speaking of strong women. NWHL, CWHL merger, finally. I think the women's leagues will merge after this season. I think it's time to acknowledge that the only way that they're going to not survive. I think they can survive without merger, but I think the only way they're going to move forward is if they merge and combine their powers and get Canadian stars and American stars

in these games and rekindles of that USA versus Canada Magic in some cases. I think they have to merge, and I think they will merge. It's not been the best year for the NWHL. Yeah, what's her name just left to go to Sweden, right? Did you see what they ended up doing with their... So they're doing a thing now where if they make a dollar, every ticket they sell above 500 for a game, all the money goes to the players, which in some ways is kind of unfortunate in the sense that, like, that should be money they're getting anyway.

I know, right. You talk about a genius, devious move, and I respect the hell out of this move, to take the anger of fans and flip it into motivation to go to the games. Like, if you're pissed off about these players not getting paid, like, come to the games. They get all the money above 500 tickets. It's really kind of smart. Here's the thing, though. They're not paying the players in the Canadian League. They're barely paying them in the NHL.

if they combine leagues, how are they going to afford, like, travel expenses and all that shit? Like, right now they go Buffalo, New York, Hartford, and what's what I'm forgetting? Boston. Boston. Yeah. Like, that's just right up to seaboard. Like, Buffalo's a hike, but then you have to start going to Canadian cities, too. Like, I feel like I don't know how they're going to be able to pay players, have the expenses covered.

Well, I think your answer is in your question, which is how does the Canadian League that doesn't pay players. Yeah. I mean, there's financial backing to be had. And I think part of the issue at the NWHL is this. They don't have Canada. But Canada has Canada. They don't pay their players.

So they got to get in with Canada. There's a market for women's hockey in Canada. There's a market that's significantly smaller for women's hockey in the U.S. You can combine these two. Oh, you think you're going to open up a lot more revenue streams on both sides of the border. That's my take. That's my hot take. I guess it could happen, but I don't know.

I just, if the Canadian Hockey League isn't making any money, I don't know. What's your next one? I like this one. This is going to happen. Okay. Because the Columbus Blue Juggots are going to go to the playoffs. Yes, they are. There's no way they're not.

And you're a journalist. You're a hockey journalist. Yeah. You're probably going to have to go there at some point. My prediction and my hope. Is that what I'm murdered on the steps of the arena? is there is a world star video of Greg Wyshinsky fighting a guy in a Columbus Blue Jackets jersey

that we can all watch on the internet. I want to see Greg Wyshinsky fight a fifth line member outside of the arena on the streets of Columbus and I wanted to go viral and I want to see Greg on the Today Show talking about how he knocked out the guy. He was like, yeah, bro, he just stepped to me and he called me puck-dick and I'm like, what?

He's like, yeah, what's up, puck-dickie? And so I stepped to him and I knocked him out. I want that to happen. I want a fistfight between you. They're not sort of the dancing guy who lost all the weight. Just like a regular guy on the street who just says some shit to you and you guys throw it out. Now, here's an interesting thing about that scenario. I actually do own a blue jacket's jersey.

Are you thinking about wearing it as like a shield? No. I think the problem is that... Invisibility cloak? It won't be one that protects me because it's a Rick Nash jersey. Oh yeah Please wear their Rick Nash jersey No

No Like go to the game You know wear a little tie Wear a jacket do your thing And then like once you file your story And you get done Because you know they're going to wait for you outside They're going to be like

Oh he's still inside writing I'm going to wait for him by the press entrance Press exit or whatever it is You just put the jersey on And just like Randy Marsh When he fights all the Little League dads And that episode of South Park Just you and a guy

Whaling on each other on that little hilly street Right outside the arena Oh God give me that. Give me that. Don't break it up. Let them settle it. Don't touch them.

I hope that happens, and I hope that they're playing the penguins. And so I can turn to all my penguins friends and brethren and be like, help me. Sidney Cosby is the best. Phil is a God. Help me. And they all run over, and they beat up the Blue Jackets fans. I start cackling. I'm like, unlimited power.

Shooting lightning at them and shit. Actually, Claude Jureau is the one true Sith Lord. Oh, great. Now it's the Anchorman Rumble. Dylan Larkin has something to say about that. Detroit fans! What do you do? You're not even at this conference.

Oh, they are on the conference. Renaud, Renaud comes over and he just starts talking in French. Bonjour, monomies. Uwelle LeBraw. Yo, maybe we can. interested in you in some Jimmy Vichy. Razor fans, no. Hey, I'm brawling over here.

Zutalors! Oh, no, not the haves. Ilabu. Zootalores. Kivouche. What do you do? And then you just, like, walk away. You go to the bar up the street, and you're just like,

ah, I don't know what happened. And we had the video of me kicking the crap out of the Columbus fan, no, I want to put it up on Fuck Daddy. Hey, you turn to the guy drinking next to you, and you're like, Hey, did you see that fight? He's like, I've been in here for weeks, man. Jack Eichael. Why don't you go in the brawl?

He can't win anything. Yeah, I know. Sorry. My next one is, my final one, actually, is that I predict that we go to the Olympics. The more I read the comments from the NHL, the more I read the comments from the double IHF, the money's going to be there in some way, shape, or form. I ain't going to like it because it's going to be money taken away from the

local federations, but they're going to ante up the money because the local federations feel like it's the most important recruiting tool that they have. And I think it's kind of, I mean, I think Batman's pulling a trick out of his bag from the early 90s when he used Olympic participation to try to get the lockout settled and try to get labor peace, and he's doing the same thing this time. He's trying to get an extension on the CBA, which is what he achieved when he first became commissioner by using the Olympics as a carrot. So what has happened before will happen again, and I think that we're going to find.

either going to be the ante up and pay for it, or are the players acquiesce and extend the CBA, but we're going to the Olympics. I don't think we're going to miss Pyong Chang. I agree. I just think it's a negotiating tactic. I remember being there, like, talking to René Fossil when they were doing this for four years ago or however many years ago it was. But yeah, they just, just, the NHL just wants to get every dime out of every single possible thing. So this is all just, it's all just part of the process. I agree. I think we're going to go because I do think, well, I think this, but do you think if we don't go, there's going to be certain and players that are just like peace out for two weeks?

Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do too. I think, I think Ovechkin without question is going to leave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would actually be more fun. I would enjoy that more. Like, it's just like a bunch of like amateurs and then like Alex Ovechkin just shows up

with like Ilya Kovalchuk and Paolo Dotsik and they just run the Olympics for two weeks. Yeah, Canada won't sit for that. Canada is going to send some ringers. Scott Wedgwood's in fucking net. Like, I can't do anything about this. Or whoever the goalie would be. I don't even know. Oh, you know what we didn't talk about is the huge news that the United States International High School hockey team didn't bring that the Brinkat guy.

The Brindicat, yeah. Wow, just I can't get over that decision. Well, it's an allergy to offense that continues for the team USA. I can see that you're really. I'm being sarcastic. Yeah, I know. But I do want to say that, yes, it does seem as though that Team USA is allergic to the Brincat. I'm Dave Lozo.

What's your last one? ESPN. I already did my last one. I'm tapped. There you go. I'm all out of stuff. I really want to see you fight a guy on video. I just want to see it.

I mean, you basically want to see me... I don't want to see you get beat up. You want me to see get destroyed on video. Like, I... No, no. I want it to be the opposite way. I want to see you in the video.

Just be like, well, like, guys, can we just piece here? Can we... And then, like, you get sucker punched. And then, like, you become Hulk Hogan and, like, the ring, and you just start... And you just, you rage, take. over. I mean, I might... And you won't go to jail because you got hit first. I'm going to cry.

I go, I'll cry. I don't have to get punched by a bunch of people. I'm sorry. You are the fifth line. It's the greatest team ever. I love it. It's so good. What did the five fingers say to the fifth line? Smack, bitch. Fifth line.

It's not good. Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear the fifth line. And just like the fifth line, they're wearing street clothes. It all works. Yeah, they're all in suits. Just like, yes. Actually, with the fifth line, be the best line at the

A HL level or would the fifth line be the scratches? That would be the scratches. But the point is, is this. I love the blue jackets. I want them to succeed. There's a part of me that's really excited about their success. I can't wait for them to be in the playoffs.

It's going to be a great atmosphere. I mean, I hope I can still hear the fans cheering after the blood fills my ears from my mawling that happens outside the arena. But all that said, I mean, my takeaway from the team right now is that I didn't think there was a bigger asshole and your coach, but it turns out there's a good segment of your fan base that's proven me wrong.

Yes, I love it. You just, you're trying. I like get on the good side. And then you just slip right. I'm trying. Like, who, honestly, who gives this shit about me? Like, your team is won, like, a billion games in a row. And then people tweeting that me like, hey, guess what?

No, they win. I'm like, I don't care. I don't. I care a little. I like to see C. Lambert on a tweet today where you're just like, you brought him into the fight for no reason. Well, someone's like, who's the guy in your blog that hates the, the jackets. And I'm like,

oh, you mean Lambert? And he's like, thank you for that. That's basically like when the guy and the girl are running from the murder and the guy trips his girlfriend and keeps running

just so you can avoid, you can avoid the fight yourself. Like, Lambert, see you. Wow. All right. That's the show for 2016. Thank you to every

single one of our guests that joined us this year, this fledgling, a little podcast that's managed to bring some level of joy into the lives of people. Thank you to everybody

who's listened and support of the podcast. podcast with glorious, you know, reviews and tweets to us and the few people that are on the Reddit, because we never really tip in there to do anything. I always forget that exists. I know. And it's been fun.

2017 is going to be a really fun time, too. We're going to probably get out of the studio and do some live stuff at some point. And, you know, and other advertisers are going to be on along with our good friends at Sea Keek. It's going to be good times. You got nothing. Um... What are you trying to grab that? Like something nice?

Is your internal circuitry not allowing you to say something nice? Is that what I'm trying to see right now? Well, no, you said something I can't respond to. Oh. So I can't. Right. I had to turn off the device for a second. No, no, I got to, I got to like think of like a segue that doesn't build on.

Thank you to all who supports our show. Well, that part is easy. But the last thing you mentioned was a thing I can't, I can't. can't weigh in on anymore contractually. So, yeah, thanks for, thanks for listening. Thanks for the Condoleez-Rice comment review on the iTunes situation. Sorry that some of the interviews are scratchy because we have microphone issues sometimes. Sorry to Pete the retailer for making you come in here for no reason. We actually had somebody else once try to come in here too, but they never got here. Oh, that was going to be my friend in the comic book industry who got caught in traffic. Oh, yeah, that's right.

He decided to drive to New York. Yeah, you tried to drive. for some reason. We'll get him, though. Yeah. Yeah, we have a good long list of people that are going to be on the show that I think you're going to really enjoy. Yeah, one guest I really want to have. Is the head coach of Rutgers. Yeah, what's up with that guy?

He wants to come on the show. That's fine. We'll have him on maybe. He seems like a decent dude. I feel like he's going to get in here and be like, hey, what's up? He's going to be like, hi. Oh, come on. There are no shrinking violets in our world.

Who's the person you want to have on in a big way? I can't say. Oh. It's a secret guest. All right. It's a secret guest. Still not positive that will be a guess, but I feel like it's going to be a thing at some point. Solid.

Yeah. All right. Listen, everybody, we, thank you for all the support. If you, if you haven't left a review on iTunes, please do it. And we'll be back in the first week of January for more fun of merriment in 2017. Flying cars. Greg's, care for all diseases. Craig's got a big, uh, big interview coming up.

Big interview coming up for that show. Yeah. And, uh, and I'd be remissive. I didn't say thank you to my lovely wife for. for marrying me in 2016. That was one of the few highlights and the giant dumpster fire of the shit avalanche that was this year.

Thanks to Katie. Katie Levine. Katie Levine. For doing her thing. Thanks to Nerdist. Nerdist for having us on their network. Thanks to Jonah Carey for inviting us to be on the Nerdist Network.

Yeah, thanks, Jonah. Make sure to watch the Wall on NBC hosted by Chris Hardwick, which is a totally great original show that you should all watch. It's going to be awesome. That was invented by LeBron James. what's so funny Greg has a really good show that our boss is putting on and hosting like

let's let's support let's support chris you know the amazing thing the amazing thing about lebron is that he has a game show in which people win when we all know that he's a loser when he doesn't he's never won the NBA title it's tough but you know who is a winner who is a tim t though Tony romeo oh god help the giants don't lose to the cowboys in the playoffs i'm grave Grishinsky of Yahoo Sports Puck Daddy blog. Thanks for listening and now Loza

will take you home. Um, I don't really have a good capper here. Wait, this is going to come out before January 1st, right? Yes. All right.

Some tips. One. Don't go anywhere on New Year's. Stay home. Don't go to a bar and pay 120 bucks to go in there and, you know, you get two beers

four hours. You end up fighting some dude. They pass around shitty champagne at the end of the night. Don't drink that. You're going to feel like garbage the next day. Don't drive drunk on New Year's. It's just you're really going to kill somebody or get arrested. You decide which one's worse. It's the killing somebody.

And yeah, we'll see you in 2017. See ya. Be loyal on all that stuff. Bye. Thank you.